#it looks like mario is mostly travelling with peach and toad

[multicolour-ink]

THIS

This shot

This is everything I need

[duckapus]

Asshole 4 Hire

So...you know how Toad both lived and worked at the old castle? Yeah, one thing he didn't account for during his globetrotting therapy arc is that he'd still be jobless and homeless at the end. Peach did give a standing offer of his old position at her new castle, but considering that job was a major contributing factor to his depression, trauma, and general assholishness it's not an offer he's seriously considering. Though he's not sure how long he can deal with the current American job market and crashing on SMG4's couch before he does get desperate enough to go back to that. Not that he doesn't appreciate 4's hospitality, especially since his (mostly) new outlook on life and everyone's development make it much easier for him and the Crew to tolerate each-other now, but a shroom's gotta have some control over his life, you know? Plus he's well aware that there is such a thing as overstaying your welcome.

So, nearly out of options, he officially turns to the Crew for help in finding a job. Bullshit ensues.

Eventually they find out that Toad learned how to play the saxophone during his travels, and that he is really, really good at it, and Bob and Saiko manage to set him up with a night club owner they both know who's been looking for some new talent, and a jazz musician seems like just the thing. So that's the job taken care of, now the only problem's the house.

But worry not, 'cause Mario reveals that he..."found"...a New Super Mario Bros-style Toad House with a bigger-on-the-inside actual two-story house interior, and installed it in the Showgrounds with his Mad Plumber Skillz.

[merriclo]

I don't know yuore oc names uuuhh. does mario kart exist in your world. if it did who wld yr characters main

AHAJDKKA THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3

so the OCs i mainly refer to on this blog are my hero’s call au characters so, tragically, mario kart would not exist in their world :( BUT this is such a funny question that i’m answering it anyway. modern au time bitch. answers below the cut bc damn that’s a lot of guys

going with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe here because that was what first came up when i googled Mario Kart :)

Hero: Luigi. god bless this man he does not know anything about the Mario franchise outside of the first few Mario games. he chose Luigi over Mario because he likes green more than red. (plus he asked Spirit if that was a good choice and she said he was fine so)

Loft: Yoshi. he likes the look of him and he always felt really bad for dropping him into the abyss when playing Mario as a kid so this is a sort of apology

Minish: Toad. they can do a perfect impression of Toad and is not afraid to use it to terrify people.

Prism: either Dry Bowser or Princess Daisy. listen okay this guy is an elite gamer and also a huge fucking nerd, so obviously he’s crunched the numbers; he also really likes Game Theory and watched that one video where MatPat claimed that Dry Bowser (and a specific kart build that i don’t remember) was the fastest. bUt he’s also kind and hates absolutely obliterating his friends every single time, so he tones it down and chooses Princess Daisy (her specifically because his fiancée, Zelda, loves Daisy. if it weren’t for her he’d be Villager Male.)

Mask: Shy Guy. little guy with mask 🤝 little guy with mask.

Oracle: Bowser. this bitch is here to win, but, unlike Prism, he doesn’t have the time to crunch the numbers. so he just.. googled what the best build is and goes with that

Lorule: Birdo. trans rep.

Traveler: Waluigi. he’s obnoxious as hell what else do you expect of it.

Wolf: it’s between Cat Peach and Donkey Kong. HE’S A FURRY he loves both cats and monkeys, but he chooses Cat Peach a little bit more often because he’s also a #feminist

Red: Isabelle. Red is an Animal Crossing player at his core. plus he also loves dogs very much

Green: Dry Bowser. this man is a strategist at heart, he’s gonna do his research and perform as best as he can. though he’s a little embarrassed about how much effort he’s put in to Mario Kart

Blue: Bowser. it’s the exact same story as Oracle: she’s here to fucking win. bUt she isn’t an absolute loser and so just quickly googles who the best is and goes with it. tragically, she’s horrible at video games and loses almost every single time.

Vio: King Boo. she is a huge fuckin nerd, but just not in the video game way. she has no damn clue who to choose, and ends up picking King Boo because ghosts are fun, and definitely not because Shadow mained King Boo. definitely not that at all—

Wind: Inkling Girl. this guy is pretty good at all games, with the single exception of racing games. so, when it comes to Mario Kart, he relies on the wisdom of his little sister, Aryll, who consistently mops the floor with him whenever they play. she mains Inkling Girl, and he hopes and prays that that’ll let him at least not come in at dead last.

Spirit: Dry Bowser and Princess Peach. yet another person who’s a complete and utter nerd. i’ve mentioned this before, but Spirit loves optimization. she’s an engineer, she’s gonna figure out the best combinations and she’s gonna figure them out fast. but, just like Prism, she’s actually nice and doesn’t want to straight up obliterate everyone she plays with, so Princess Peach. (ngl i was tempted to say Birdo again because trans rep but Spirit is such a Princess Peach girlie.)

Ages: Mario. while Ages is also a huge strategy guy, he’s not really a fan of competitive games. give him a pokémon game and he’ll do fantastic, but a racing game?? ehh…. truth be told, he mostly plays story driven games, so he’s very lost in a competitive setting. same story as Hero, really, lmao. they both go for the ole reliables.

Wild: Toad. she saw a little dude with a fat ass mushroom hat and immediately decided to main him. oh and he can also do a perfect impression of Toad. do not leave them and Minish in the same room together or else they will both lose their voices from talking like Toad for hours.

Champion: Wendy O. Koopa. this man(?) is an enigma, no one knows why. he probably doesn’t either.

Rhythm: Waluigi. he’s a middle school band kid for fuck’s sake, of course he’s gonna choose fucking Waluigi.

sorry for any and all typos and tense changes, and thank you again for this question Strawb <3 it’s very fun i had a blast answering it, even if i had to google a lot since i rarely ever play Mario Kart lmao

[agentnico]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) Review

Why is it that so many Hollywood movies these days have to include the same exact 80′s songs like ‘Take On Me’ and ‘Holding Out for a Hero’? There’s such a massive catalogue of superb 80s songs, yet for some reason these are used 24/7. They’re good songs, don’t get me wrong, but play same a million times and they lose their magic. 

Plot: A Brooklyn plumber named Mario travels through the Mushroom Kingdom with a princess named Peach and an anthropomorphic mushroom named Toad to find his brother, Luigi, and to save the world from a ruthless fire-breathing Koopa named Bowser.

So from the beginning one of the more controversial elements of this film’s announcement was the casting of Chris Pratt as the voice of Mario. For one, Mr Pratt is not Italian, nor do I believe he has any family members or ancestors that are connected to the Italian culture. He also is not from Brooklyn either, where Mario and Luigi are supposed to have their plumbing business at, so again, questionable choice. He’s also got the most generic everyday guy type voice, hence why he previously voiced Emmet from The Lego Movie, cause that entire character’s shtick was that he was ordinary, regular and in no way special individual. As for Mario, well he’s a very Italian sounding chap, with the “mamma-mia”s and the “let’s a go”s and the “I’ve got a familia”s.... Look, Mario is Italian. Luigi is Italian. Why are they being voiced by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day? Cause turns out, the writers cared zero to nothing about any reason or consistency within this film, as I am here to report that The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a mindless shameless cash grab.

The story? There is none. The narrative thread line is so thin that its pointless to talk about. The jokes? Not there. Well, they are there but they aren’t funny. And yes, I am aware that some of the humour is aimed primarily at children, and in fact kids as whole will have a ball with this movie. But making a Mario movie, the fanbase of which is made up mostly of grown up adults that grew up with the Nintendo brand and have a humongous nostalgia factor for the property, you’d think the studio would try to make a movie that’s appropriate for both kids and adults. Harkening back to 2014′s The Lego Movie, that film managed to appease audiences of all ages with both silly humour but also a solid story and enough pop culture references to appease adults who grew up building Lego. The Super Mario Bros. Movie on the other hand is simply children’s humour beginning to end, and like a thousand references and Easter Eggs thrown in from the original games that serve no other purpose other than “oh look, there’s that thing we’ve seen before!”. And as much as my heart thumped in excitement when Mario’s ringtone in the film was revealed to be the Nintendo GameCube theme song, it still doesn’t take away from the fact that at its core the movie is empty. There’s no substance to any of it. 

Visually I will say the movie does look great. The animators of Illumination as always deliver a colourful and eye-popping world, with the Mushroom Kingdom being fully realised in all its fun visual flair, and the characters from the games all being animated wonderfully. The music score too pays homage to Mario’s original themes whilst also in-keeping with the movie’s action. So from a technical standpoint the movie is well made, but from a creative side its got nothing.

At the end of the day, me and my friend both agreed that we were bored out of our minds throughout the entire movie, and many times were closing to falling asleep. Granted, we had a meal at the local pub prior and each had a pint alongside it, but a single pint does not knock someone out unless they’re flat out bored - which we were. Like, Chris Pratt wasn’t even that bad as Mario. He was just okay. All the voice cast are just okay. Jack Black makes for a solid Bowser, however them forcing Black to constantly sing that stupid unfunny Peaches song did grind my gears. The movie is 100% for kids, and there are nostalgic elements to it all, but I do believe that Illumination and Nintendo should have followed more in The Lego Movie’s footsteps and targeted the film for audiences of all ages. Should have had Phil Lord and Chris Miller produce, let’s be honest. I’m just going to go rewatch Puss in Boots: The Last Wish again - now that’s an animated movie that was way better than expected!!

Overall score: 3/10

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Bowser's Castle Chapter 7: You're Joining Me for Dinner

Luigi shouldn’t have been surprised to turn a corner on his way to the dining hall and almost walk directly into Bowser. But somehow, he still was, even letting out a small squeak that he tried unsuccessfully to muffle with his hands.

Looking up from his phone, Bowser turned his head to look at him, letting out a slight chuckle. “I’m that scary, huh?”

“Well, uh, I didn’t expect to just run into you out of nowhere. Which in hindsight is silly, it’s your castle so of course I might run into you. Sorry.” Was a ‘sorry’ even necessary? Bowser liked being scary, didn’t he? Though, he might not actually, considering all the other stuff Luigi had learned of him lately.

Bowser looked for a moment like he was going to move on but instead scoffed and put his phone away. “Come on. You’re joining me for dinner.” He started walking again, clearly expecting Luigi to follow without further prompting.

Which he did because what else was he to do? “Uh… what? Did I… hear that right? You’re… asking me to…” Luigi trailed off because surely he’d heard wrong, right?

“You’re having dinner at my table tonight.”

“Why?” It was out before Luigi could think to bite back on it. Questioning his supposed boss probably wasn’t a good idea.

Bowser didn’t seem to mind though. “Because I just decided you are.” Ah yes, just doing things on a whim seemed like something he’d do.

They walked down the hall in silence for a few seconds before Luigi had to break it. Maybe he shouldn’t and probably it wasn’t his place but while he had a chance, he wanted to make his thoughts heard. “Your kids, uh… they’re a lot. I admire you for taking them in. Can I ask how you ended up adopting so many? If that’s an okay thing to ask anyway.”

Bowser shrugged. “It just happened that way. They needed saving so I took them in. Besides Junior needed some playmates.”

“Ah, yeah. Growing up without anyone to play with would probably be lonely, huh?” Luigi couldn’t imagine what it would’ve been like to grow up without Mario.

“Yeah, it sucks pretty hard.” Bowser’s tone remained light but there was a slight edge to it.

There was more there that Luigi suddenly found himself curious about. He’d never thought about Bowser as a kid outside of that one time traveling adventure he’d gone on with Mario. It had seemed as if Kamek had been his only caretaker, no sign of his parents. Now it seems Luigi also had confirmation that he had no siblings or possibly even friends either. He was almost tempted enough to ask for more information but before he could find the courage they reached the dining hall.

It was quite large and now that it was officially dinner time, bustling. Similar to the dining hall in Peach’s castle during diner hours but also very different. Instead of mostly a bunch of different coloured Toads and only a few odd ones out there was a vast array of different kinds of folk. Koopas and goombas seemed to be the bulk of them but there were also a lot of shy guys and sniffets and even a few boos and dry bones hovering around – sending a slight chill down Luigi’s spine at just the sight – even though there was no way they could eat, right? Why was it that Bowser had so many more different kinds of followers than Peach?

Luigi didn’t have time to ponder that for long as Bowser led the way straight through to another smaller but fancier dining room with a lush rung under the table and a large expensive looking chandelier hanging over it. The chairs looked fancier and sturdier as well, especially the one at the far end of the table, its size as well as its sinister design indicated it was for Bowser.

Kamek, Ludwig, Roy, and Morton were all already seated at the table as were a few magikoopa, sniffets, a couple shyguys, and even a single goomba. Presumably these were all high-ranking officials in Bowser’s kingdom and army. This was the ‘important people’ table and for some reason Luigi had been invited to it. For tonight anyway, that probably wasn’t always going to be the case.

Bowser leaned in slightly to speak to Luigi in what probably counted as a whisper for him. “Sit wherever. If Kamek tries to give you crap about his seating arrangement, don’t listen to him. It doesn’t matter.” Without waiting for a replying, he moved on to sit at the head of the table.

Not wanting to come off as aloof, Luigi sat himself in the next available seat, next to the goomba. They gave him a look that was so openly curious it was uncomfortable but didn’t say anything so Luigi didn’t venture anything either.

“Lord Bowser,” Kamek said as he stood up, speaking loud enough for the whole table to hear before Luigi was even fully settled. “If you’re going to invite our newest guest to the table, I feel it would be wise to insist on following the proper seating arrangement to ensure our ranks are made apparent.”

Bowser scoffed. “Nah, who cares?”

Kamek stood firm for a few seconds longer before letting out a long suffering sigh, not too unlike how Toadsworth could get when Peach insisted on breaking protocol. “Very well. It’s been a long time since any degree of proper formality has been upheld in this room anyway. If you want to keep an informal table with no regard to anyone’s rank but your own, that’s clearly the superior option. Who am I, merely your royal advisor, to question you on matters of royal protocol? Carry on, Luigi and everyone else.” He sat back down with a silent but no less defeated huff.

Bowser chuckled, sounding surprisingly lighthearted. Roy, Morton and Ludwig also seemed to find it quite funny as they laughed along with him. Everyone else seemed to remain strictly neutral, though it was hard to tell for sure with so many of them having at least part of their face covered.

From there it was only a few minutes before the rest of the Koopa kids arrived as well as a few other stragglers, allowing dinner to properly began. Bowser set the tone of having lively conversation with those seated near him and everyone else seemed to follow suit without a hint of awkwardness, indicating this was likely the norm. Junior ended up sitting next to Luigi and with only a little prompting continued his tale about how he’d rescued Queen. No doubt he embellished several aspects of it but his excitement for the tale and having a new person to tell it to were plain enough to see to make it forgivable.

The food was as extravagant as one would expect a king to be served. The main course was roast pig and Luigi would be lying if he tried to claim it wasn’t the best roast pig he’d ever had the pleasure of consuming.

In all, between the food and fun, casual atmosphere, Luigi ended up enjoying himself so much he forgot to be afraid until it was over and he was headed back down the hallway that housed his room. Huh, even now that he was thinking about it again, he wasn’t really afraid. He was too warm and sleepy; not exhausted and weary but just pleasantly sleepy. A feeling he hadn’t felt in what felt like forever now. Maybe his time here would actually be kind of pleasant.

Hmm… speaking of that and the idea he’d had about being a spy earlier. Maybe given how Bowser was proving to not be as bad a guy as he sometimes seemed, perhaps Luigi could take advantage of this unique opportunity to try to convince Bowser to end his conflict with the Mushroom kingdom. He could justify his cowardice need to hide here and do something good. … Maybe. It was something to think about anyway when he was more awake. Regardless spying was something he was definitely gonna try to do if he could.

Having reached his room, he opened the door and almost didn’t jump when he spotted Booella floating in the middle of the room. It was fine though, he was safe here. Taking a deep breath, he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

“Hi hon!” She gave him what probably counted as a friendly smile amongst boos. “I was just fixing to go looking for you if you didn’t show up soon. The healers want to do a check up on you, make sure you’re doing okay and starting to heal up and all that. Their usual messenger for these kinds of things is a boo, we tend to be very good at getting around quickly so I’m sure you can guess why. But I know you’re still nervous about boos, especially ones you don’t know. So I figured I should come inform you myself since you already know me and know too that I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“Oh, uh, okay. Thanks.” His nap earlier had helped a lot and thus even if he was kind of tired, it was too early to go to bed. “Um, can you tell me where I’m supposed to go for that.”

“Of course dear, anything you need. I can even write down the directions for you. And now that I think about it, if you’re gonna be here for a while I should probably get you a map as well. They’re useful when you’re new here, especially for you poor corporeal folk and your unfortunate lack of being able to phase through walls and floors.”

“That would be nice. Thanks.” Even despite his status as Mario’s brother none of the Toads back at Peach’s castle had ever been so considerate of him as this boo in Bowser’s castle. How weird was that? He wasn’t going to question it though.

~

After getting approval from the healers for how well he was taking care of his wounds so far, a fresh round of bandages, and a checkup to ensure his mild concussion wasn’t getting any worse, he was allowed to go free once more. With the map Booella had kindly gone out of her way to acquire for him, he found his way back to his room even quicker than before.

Upon entering and closing the door behind himself, he paused at the sight of the small wardrobe that had been added to his room. A note was attacked to it via what looked like boo magic based of its slight ghostly glow. The writing on it though was Booella’s distinctive and now familiar large looping cursive so his hand only trembled a little bit as he pulled it off the door, causing he glow to thankfully dissipate.

‘More clothing shall be provided for you soon. For now, this should hopefully do. If you need more though, don’t hesitate to ask. Put your dirty clothing in the hamper next to it. One of my darlings (have no fear, I’ll make sure not to send a boo to your hall) will be by to pick it up at the end of the week.’

Inside the wardrobe itself was, as promised, a few more articles of clothing. Most of it was clearly intended for Peach, though a few pieces were of a more mysterious origin. But regardless all of it looked like it would probably fit him, probably not super well in some cases but that hardly mattered. Having a store of clean clothes was more of a relief than he would’ve thought it be. While there were plenty of things worse than having to wear the same outfit for potentially multiple days in a row, it was still rather uncomfortable and miserable.

He really was welcome here, huh? He’d be safe and comfortable until King Boo was dealt with. It almost seemed too good to be true and no doubt more hang ups would occur but… for now he was just going to be grateful for all this and go to bed. He’d think more about the future and everything that would come with it tomorrow.

[jacscorner]

The Shiitake Hills and Drake Lands - D&D Super Mario: Races and Setting Notes

So after the Mario and Luigi posts I did before, I wanted to sort of expand on this loose concept of ‘Super Mario as a D&D Setting’ that I’ve had kicking around while I was suffering from chronic online college. :P

Now, this isn’t a coherent post, this is just a bunch of notes of how I’d convert the general concept of Super Mario games and some races. This would probably need full on World Anvil in order to turn these loose ideas and concepts into a proper campaign setting. And this is under the premise that my would-be players would be outsiders coming into this setting either by plane walking or by travel.

But, hey, if this can be used as a springboard for others to use for their own campaign, then be my guest! I wouldn’t put it here if I so badly wanted to keep this private! But this’ll be a long post, so continue at your own risk.

The Shiitake Hills are the stand in for the mushroom kingdom. These long rows of Hills are home to various farm lands and small villages. There’s very few cities. Mushrooms are mostly cultivated for the consumption and export-you’d be surprised how many recipes there are for cooked toadstools. But rest assured, mushrooms aren’t the only foodstuff you’ll find, but their cultivation for food and magical components is so common that even the most ignorant of school child or even someone who’s never even seen a mushroom would know how to cultivate enough edible fungus to never miss lunch.

The capital of this kingdom is Toadstool City, a glorious city. It’s not perfect, but magic is practiced in the open-it’s regulated, but not too restrictive and controlling. So long as your not raising the dead or raising a stink, you can practice most forms of magic in relative peace.

The Shiitake Hills were founded originally by Elven Druids, who had left their original home in order to escape prosecution from another clan of Druids. On their sailing across oceans, they’d come across a community of Halflings, whom were under the rule of a tyrannical wizard. The Head of these Elven Druids would take on these Halflings as fellow refugees.

This trip lasted 1000 years, with 800 of them spent with the Halfling survivors. Their culture would meld together, to the point where there was no way of knowing what custom originated from which group, but it mattered not. Both sides had developed a mutual relationship.

When The Shiitake Hills were founded the family of the Head Druid would lead colonization of the land. They would also introduce the various Elven Gods that the Druids worshiped.

Avus, God of Fatherhood, Life, and Light. A father should be a guiding light for the family. To be strong and nurturing. A father who is not in their child’s life is often struck by Avus.

Mater Goddess of Fertility, Birth, and Motherhood. Avus’s wife and the reason he gained the ‘Fatherhood’ title. Preying to her is often done when an Elf is about to give birth.

Natus God of Knowledge, Teaching, and Fire. His legends speak of him being the original cultivator of fire, and gifting his spark of knowledge down to the Elves who worship him and spread it. Knowledge is never to be hoarded, it’s to be spread and shared.

Frater God of Strength, War, and Courage. When thunder booms, it means he’s fighting and he wants his followers to also be prepared for the heat of battle. Never fear death, for only glory waits for those who races into battle! 

Soror Goddess of Sisterhood, Art, and Battle. The sister to Frater, she gives strength to her female followers to follow their dreams and passions, but to always have a knife at the ready to defend what’s yours.

Puer God of Tricksters, Brotherhood, and Nature. He teaches his followers to use nature to their advantage, to use ingenuity and wits to defeat larger foes, but to never use your trickery to back stab your brothers-in-arms.

Avanculus God of Wisdom, Harvest, and Water. Knowledge is knowing the best way to farm with new techniques. Wisdom is understand the old ways still work when they fail.

And the Matriarch of their Pantheon, Astrum, Goddess of the Sun, Moon, and Stars. 

But over the boarder of the hills is The Drake Lands. The land was originally a beautiful Dwarven Kingdom of glorious mountains. But then, two dragons razed the lands, a Red Dragon and a Green Dragon, who used the mountains as a battle field! Fire and Poisonous gas drove out the Dwarves underneath. The mountains burned and the poison killed almost all other life that didn’t escape. Nobody knows quite who won this fight, but whatever the result was, the two dragons eventually mated and had a child that would make the ruined lands their domain.

This Dragon is known as Oghoid, A Lawful Evil God of Conquest, Battle, and Gold. His descendants would be known as the Royal Clan who would turn these barren lands into a somewhat liveable place.

The Dwarves would’ve raced to the Shiitake Lands as refugees. The Elves and Halflings welcomed the Dwarves. They integrated into society, but their culture is still regularly practiced. Dwarves keep many Gods, but they had no trouble also incorporating the Elf’s-what’s 1 or 8 more to the pile? The Dwarves also brought expert stone cutting and construction. Many constructions are built mostly or even entirely by Dwarven hands.

Boy, that was a lot, but time to get into the Races. And please not that I’ll label them as ‘Good, Neutral, and Evil’ races for the sake of convenience. You can take a Good Race and play them evil and vice versa.

Good Races - The typical Good Guys and regular residents of the Shiitake Hills.

The Humans of the Super Mario series are split into 3 Types for the setting: Normal-Types, Mario-Types, and Princess-Types.

Normal-Types are the New Donk City citizens we see in Super Mario Odyssey. These are Humans, no doubt having come from various traders from outside of the kingdom and might’ve stayed and become full citizens.

Mario-Types are Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi-oddly proportioned humanoids. For this setting, they’re Dwarves-yes, even Waluigi. He’s just an oddly tall Dwarf. It happens. Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are plumbers and have no trouble going underground and fixing things. 

And finally, Princess-Types. Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline-oddly tall, and still have odd proportions, but look less like Mickey Mouse and more like Jessica Rabbit. They’re represented by Elves. Elves are usually in the upper class of Shiitake society.

Yes, they could all just be variant humans of some kind, but shush. :P This is suppose to be a big mass of races living on one continent and want to mix them all together.

Toads, if you couldn’t guess, are represented as Halflings. Why? Well, not only are they short, but what do we usually see Toads doing? We see them mostly in domestic roles, with only a few outliers. Halflings are mostly homely folk who want to be left in their homes and just enjoy their quaint lives.

Neutral Race - Not inherently Good Nor Bad, Just Folk

Yoshis in this setting will be played by Lizardfolk. I know that this is a pretty big stretch-Yoshis are cute and colorful and Lizardfolk are written as cold, calculating ‘survival of the fittest’ types. But I take the official text of WoTC as more like suggestions.

Evil Race - Typical Bad Guys and residents of The Drake Lands

So naturally, this sections will have Koopas, but how do we divide them? Well, I think there are 2 Types of Koopas. Regular Koopas and Koopa Rexes.

I percieve ‘Koopa Rex’ as essentially Bowser, his son, and the Koopalings-and maybe Boom-Boom and Pom-Pom, depending on how you see it. They would be Dragonborn.

Regular Koopas are essentially the rest. Koopa Troopas, Hammer Bros, Magikoopas, so on and so forth. They’re Tortles.

Okay, this is where I start to REALLY stretch the limits of what can be what...

Goombas will be classified as Kobolds. Why Kobolds? Well, honestly, I guess no real reason, but I think it makes sense for Bowser’s army to have the ‘Minion Races’ in the ranks.

Speaking of , Shy Guys are Kenkus in this setting.

And Boos, Goblins. Okay, this one, a bit of a stretch, but what do Boos do? They sneak up on you, right? Well, Goblins can use that tactic too!

Well, yeah, they could just be Ghosts. But, like, I hate using Ghosts in D&D. They’re too much of a pain in the ass to deal with. And, if you can’t tell, this isn’t meant to be a 1-to-1 thing. 

And finally, the Bob-Ombs are Warforged-possibly one that you could give the ability to ‘selfdestruct’ upon defeat or something.

And that’s about the end of my notes. This took, like, two hours to write but I wanted to put this all down somewhere and here it is. Nothing here is final and if you wanna use any of it for any reason, go right ahead~

[formalmess]

For Your Entertainment ~ Chapter One

Summary: Luigi receives a mysterious letter. 

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Welcome to the show! This is a dark little horror-esque story I wrote and finished up last year, and since it’s the month of spookiness, what better time than now to post it here? It may be a bit familiar to some people since I’ve published it elsewhere before, but I have changed and polished up some things since it’s publication last year. To the newcomers, welcome! Fair warning in advance though, this story will get darker. Keep an eye out for warnings in the future. But until then and without further ado, enjoy!

“Mail call!” Parakarry’s voice eagerly called out through the morning air. 

He flapped his wings before landing, stretching out his arms and wings before reaching into his mailbag. He opened the mailbox outside the manor before him, whistling as he dug through his bag for the mail meant for this house.

He craned his neck, turning up to look at the green manor situated just up a small hill, a stone path leading to the front door. The quaint manor was certainly not the most extravagant of living spaces, but it was suitable. There was a well maintained garden gracing the front lawn, flowers of all colors, shapes, and sizes displayed upon the path.

Parakarry wiped the sweat off his brow, readying himself to fly off again when a voice called out.

“Good morning, Parakarry!”

Parakarry stopped, turning.

The owner of the manor appeared, rushing down the stone path to greet the Paratroopa with a smile on his face. The brunette’s hair was messy, his mustache uncombed as visible dark circles became apparent under his bright blue eyes. He had most likely just crawled out of bed.

“Ah, Luigi! Good to see you’re chipper today.” Parakarry grinned, watching as Luigi rushed up to the fence lining the yard, leaning against it.

“How’re you doing today, Parakarry?”

“I’m doing quite well. A bit frazzled, but quite well.”

“A lot of stuff to deliver today, huh?”

“That’s not even the half of it.” Parakarry chuckled. “The post office has been chaos since this morning. Postmaster said there was this little toad girl running around the office asking the rest of the employees about something. She’d been there since we opened. Totally threw him for a loop.”

“Do you know who she was?”

“No idea. The Postmaster thinks she was handing out fliers for something, I don’t know. He was already ordering me to get my tail out here, I didn’t have time to ask.”

“Oh, well, you’re right on schedule, I’d say.” Luigi laughed.

“I’d like to think I’m getting much better at delivering the mail on time.” Parakarry chuckled, slightly embarrassed. “If you happen to find anything in your mail is missing, that’s probably my fault… But, I’ll be sure to drop anything I missed off later, once I finish my route for today.”

“Well, don’t work too hard. Can I get you anything before you head off, Parakarry? I could get you a drink or something…”

“Oh, no. I’m in fine shape. Just have a long day ahead of me. There’s been a lot more letters coming in recently, which I hypothesize has something to do with that get-together the princess has been planning.”

“It’s only a meeting, Parakarry. I don’t think it’s that exciting.” Luigi smiled. “No one’s gonna be sending letters out to their grandparents about some king or prince coming to the Mushroom Kingdom to discuss economics with the princess.”

“Well, Toad Town gets excited over the littlest things, you know. Whether that be royalty figures getting together for, say… a ball, or a meeting, or a conference, or even for... tea time, really!”

“They’re just gonna be talking about trade negotiations and stuff like that. It’s all boring.”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry. I forgot you knew so much about the princess’s business ever since you and that prince got hitched… Your Highness.” Parakarry sneered, bowing playfully. “You’re going to be at the meeting anyway, don’t even know why I brought it up.”

“I’m not really royalty, Parakarry.” Luigi crossed his arms, a faint blush on his face as he turned, exhaling. “I’m just the prince consort.”

“Sureee… whatever you say.” Parakarry shrugged. “Just don’t come crying to me if you ever get kidnapped by Bowser or anything. If his knack for capturing royalty keeps up, that is.”

Luigi chuckled. “Then you’ll have to team up with Mario again to rescue me, I suppose.”

“I guess so.” Parakarry flapped his wings, turning away from Luigi with a hearty laugh. “I really should be on my way, though, friend. I still have so many letters to deliver, and there are so many impatient homeowners out there. A postman’s job is never done, after all!”

“I understand.” Luigi stepped back, smiling. “Be safe out there.”

“Of course!”

And with that, Parakarry flew off. Luigi waved goodbye to him, watching the postman until he disappeared from view into the cloudy sky in the distance.

Luigi stretched before pushing open the fence's wooden gate, retrieving his mail and sifting through it. He yawned, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes as the sun continued to creep up over the hillside.

The mail mostly consisted of bills and scam letters from Waluigi, but a postcard from Mario made him smile, a warm feeling now in his chest. It was nice to think that his brother still had time to send him things, despite how busy he must be, traveling the world with his newfound cap companion and whatnot.

Luigi walked back into his manor groggily, dropping off the mail on the kitchen counter before walking to the bathroom to freshen up.

His pet, Polterpup, followed him curiously, leaping up against his owner’s legs to try and get his attention. Luigi smiled, laughing and promising the ghostly pup playtime later. He still had something to do today, after all.

Luigi did just enough to appear suitable before heading back out the door, walking down the path towards Toad Town. He had been up since early morning only because he wanted to get to Tayce T.’s kitchen before it got too crowded, and morning was his best bet. He didn’t exactly like being out alone at night, and Grambi forbid some poor soul try to go to the bakery in the afternoon. Luigi cringed at the thought.

All he needed was to pick up some ingredients for a few recipes he'd gotten as gifts from Peach for his birthday. While he was relatively good at cooking, he didn’t know a whole lot about making pastries. That was the princess’s specialty, not his. Luigi usually stuck to making various spaghetti dishes. But, most of the recipes given to him were for cakes, muffins, cupcakes, and the like, so he’d have to get a few ingredients from Tayce T. if he hoped on ever finishing even one of the recipes.

Not that he minded waking up early anyway. Early morning walks were always so beautiful. The creatures were starting to stir, and the sun was just starting to rise. He breathed slowly, taking in all the sights until he made his way into Toad Town.

Toads were congregating outside, walking in and out of stores and talking amongst themselves. Luigi’s presence didn’t faze them, not like if Mario was there. But, Luigi was fine with that. He didn’t like being randomly talked to and swarmed anyway. The toads still waved and said hello as he passed though, Luigi politely greeting them in return.

He eventually made it into Tayce T.’s kitchen, the little cook glancing up at Luigi as he entered. A faint smile graced her face as he walked in. She was already moving to reach into a cupboard to retrieve his items before he could even request anything of her.

”Ah, Luigi, welcome in! I’ve been preparing what you ordered. Just allow me to clarify…” She hummed, putting a bag out on the counter. “You just wanted the cake mix and a honey shroom, right?”

Luigi nodded, handing over the sufficient amount of coins for her as he smiled. “Grazie.”

She took the payment hesitantly, exhaling. “It's always so nice to see such a happy face, Luigi. I take it your morning has been lovely?”

”Yep! Actually, I was planning on making something sweet tonight for my hus-” Luigi paused upon noticing Tayce T.’s sunken features. Her gaze wasn’t focused on Luigi, instead staring forward with dull eyes. She looked… sad. “A-Are you alright, Ms. Tayce?”

”W-What? Oh, yes. My apologies!” Tayce T. flinched and held her hands together, nodding. “I’ve just been thinking about… oh, there was this incident this morning and… I don’t know. I'm sure it'll be alright. I'm fine." She offered a weak smile.

Luigi ventured further. “You’re… sure?”

”Most certainly, Luigi.”

"Do you want to talk-"

”Hey!” Another toad’s voice cut in, Luigi flipping around to make eye contact with a very agitated customer, who was tapping their foot impatiently on the floor. “Some of us also want to buy stuff!”

”O-Oh, I’m sorry, I-”

Tayce T. reached at Luigi’s hand, handing him his bag of ingredients. She smiled. ”Take care, Luigi. I trust I’ll see you again soon?”

"Oh, y-yeah!” Luigi attempted before being curtly shoved aside by the other toad.

Tayce T. looked at the customer disapprovingly before softening her expression, Luigi looking back at her. She glanced away before waving goodbye as Luigi made his way out the door.

Luigi sighed, cradling the bag of ingredients in his arms as he started back toward home. The walk back was peaceful, the young brunette catching small bits of conversation as the toads spoke to one another, talking about the day ahead.

”-and you haven’t seen him at all?”

The fragments of a conversation caught his attention.

He turned a corner, noticing a bright pink figure with her back turned to him, talking to a green-capped, mustached toad with glasses on his face. He was looking over a piece of paper, rubbing at his chin.

”...Nope. Can’t say I have. I wish you the best of luck in finding ‘im though.”

The pink figure stared down at the ground defeatedly as the green toad walked away, only perking her head up when she heard her name called.

”Toadette!”

”Luigi…?”

Luigi approached with a smile on his face, but froze, his breath hitching as Toadette turned to face him. Her expression was pale and positively mortified, clutching staggering amounts of paper in her arms like a vice.

”Toadette, a-are you okay?”

”Have you seen Toad?!”

The question caught him off guard.

”N-No… I haven’t. What’s wrong?”

Toadette wiped at the tears forming in her eyes, whimpering as she tried to compose herself. "T-Toad… Toad, he… I don’t know where he is, Luigi!”

Luigi felt his chest stiffen. “What?”

”A-About a week ago, I went out of the house to go hang out with Birdetta, and I left Toad home alone. When I got back later that night, he wasn’t there. And I-I don’t know where he would’ve gone, because I was only out for a few hours and-d he didn’t tell me he was going anywhere, and he would’ve told me if he did, and he didn’t leave a note or an-anything a-and I-!”

”Hey, hey…” Luigi, despite his own growing anxiety, tried to comfort Toadette. “Slow down.”

”I tried to j-just wait it out to see if he’d come home, but he still isn’t back! I wanted to take matters into my own hands, because I don’t know if h-he ran away, or if he got lost, or worse, but I-I couldn’t stand to just sit there while my brother was still missing, so I-I made these...”

She paused, sniffling and reaching towards the bundle of papers in her arms. She handed one over to Luigi, Luigi’s face noticeably paling as he examined the page.

It was a missing poster, the words alarmingly bolded with a photograph of Toad plastered on it, information lining the bottom.

”I tried getting these hung up all over town, the post office, the club, the boardwalk, the kitchen… b-but… no one has seen h-him so far, and I-I…” Toadette released a sob, nearly falling into Luigi’s arms.

”Toadette…” Luigi tried to reach a hand out to comfort her, but she shrunk back.

“I-I guess I’m probably just o-overreacting… he… he’s old enough to do what he wants… I-I just,” she hiccuped between sobs. “I wish he would’ve told me where he was going! I-I just want him to be okay. B-But, if he doesn’t want to be f-found, then…” She shook her head. ”If he doesn’t turn up s-soon, I’m going to go out and find him myself…! I-I have to know if my brother is okay!”

”Th-That sounds dangerous.” Luigi squeaked out. “I-I can look with you, and I’m sure Peasley wouldn’t object to joining us… You shouldn’t go alone.”

”Hopefully it won’t come to that.” Toadette concluded with a sigh, turning away as she rubbed at her eyes. “Just… keep an eye out for him, please. If you hear from him, let me know.”

”R-Right. Of course.”

Luigi didn’t have time to say anything else before Toadette promptly rushed off, approaching another couple of toads, handing them each the posters. Luigi turned to continue back home, despite now feeling a heavy sensation swelling deep within his chest.

An ominous feeling of dread loomed over him as he walked back to the manor.

                                          - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luigi’s walk back was mostly silent, aside from the occasional heavy sigh or nervous hum.

The thoughts of worry produced by the single haunting image of one of his friends on a missing poster made his stomach twist. He tried to steady his breathing and think rationally as he approached his house, sighing. As he passed the fence gate outside the manor and approached the door up the stone path, however, he paused.

There was an envelope placed on the doorknob, delicately balanced atop it.

Confused, he shifted his holding on the bag of ingredients and picked up the note, flipping it over to see if there was any information on it. All that was printed on the envelope was a picture of a star, colored in a violet ink.

Perhaps Parakarry had left one of his letters in the post office after all.

He pushed open the door, putting the cake mix and honey shroom away before carefully tearing open the mysterious envelope. With cautious fingers, he removed a sheet of paper from within and began to read what was neatly printed upon it.

‘Hello, Luigi.

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Far too long, I’d say. How long has it been? It was quite hard to keep track of time down there, I’m afraid.

I’ve been really busy, you see. It’s taken me ever so long to send you this letter.

They tried their hardest, their very hardest, to contain me. And I admire their amusing attempts. But, I’m quite the persistent person, like a spider weaving its web over and over on a rainy day.

To think, life works in mysterious ways. It’s quite funny, really, how our pasts catch up to us.

You and I have plenty in common. You may hate to admit it, but it’s true. You and I are much closer than you’d like to think. Haven’t you felt lonesome without me? I’m apart of you, after all.

May I indulge you in a secret?

You ruined me, Luigi.

Your weakness brought about my downfall. It led me to a horrific afterlife of endless torment. I endured so much suffering. Loneliness and eternal solitude consumed my days.

But, now, I’ve escaped from that treacherous prison known as death. And, as I had plenty of time to ponder, I know exactly what I want now.

I want to see you suffer, just as I had.

I’m going to make your life a living nightmare. All who you know and love, will be guaranteed a long and painful demise at my hands.

You ruined my chance at happiness and I’m only returning the favor.

I want nothing more than to see you break as you are forced to watch your life crumble apart.

I’ve spent so much time preparing for this, you see.

I shan’t spoil the surprise. Not yet. Nor will I reveal my identity. I want you to experience every moment of this spectacle for yourself.

It will be quite a show.

I’ll see you again soon, Luigi. I’m much closer than you’d like to think.

~ ✦ ~’

[dizzydennis]

A long, in-depth review of Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020

I remember playing the first Mario & Sonic game back on the Nintendo Wii. It was simple and a bit unbelievable that this was the first time these two gaming icons would be in a video game together. While the Olympics were literally nobody’s choice to have these heroes meet, it made for a fun albeit simplistic party game. I enjoyed my time with it, but it wasn’t until the second game, Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games that I fell in love with the series. The amount of variety and fan service was staggering and it was very clear that a lot of passion had gone into this game, but as the games moved to the Wii U, it was apparent that the creative was drying up as the game focused more on the typical Olympic events.

That takes us to 2019 where the series has returned on the Nintendo Switch. Considering the fact that this game was made to coincide with the Tokyo 2020 Olympics, I was very excited. Not only is this the home country of both Mario and Sonic, but it’s where I’ve been living for the past 4 and a half years. I was worried when the series skipped the Pyeongchang Olympics that we would never see them in Japan. However, fate would be kind to me. The only question was: does this new edition reach the previous highs that the best Mario & Sonic outings have reached or is it another missed opportunity.

This game has a very interesting premise too. Since Tokyo was the host of the Olympics back in 1964, there is a time travel plot where Sonic, Eggman, Mario, Bowser, and Toad get sucked into a video game world based on those events. It allows for a fresh idea presented with classic sprites of these beloved characters. With the 2020 Olympic events combined with the 1964 events, there are plenty of events to try out.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t describe how nice the game looks. Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 is a very good looking game. In single player, the game constantly runs at 60FPS with highly detailed character models and lush environments. The crowds consisting of Toads, Shy Guys, Flickies, and more are still 2D textures that are animated well, but when inspected, they do not hold up. In Olympic events where the game is handled in splitscreen, the framerate can often take a hit. It’s nothing unplayable, but it is very noticeable. The menus are also very slick though a bit simplistic from past entries. Even so, you’ll be treated with wonderful character renders over the backdrop of various Tokyo locales. The only problem with the visuals come from the retro 1964 mode. While the sprites look fine, there is a huge clash between the Super Mario characters being 8-bit sprites while the Sonic characters are 16-bit sprites. It seems as this was done for broad appeal since Mario’s NES outings and Sonic’s Genesis outings are arguably their most well-known appearances. Even so, it doesn’t mesh together perfectly.

So the game looks good for the most part, but how does it sound? Honestly, it’s a mixed bag and a particularly odd one too. During story mode, characters do not speak in full sentences. Sonic may say “Hey” while the text box fills in an entire sentence of dialogue. This isn’t a problem, but what is a bit distracting are the voice samples chosen; specifically, the Super Mario characters. Mario and Luigi have no text boxes with their dialogue, but instead will only make small noises or words. It becomes increasingly annoying as their responses are so limited. You cannot skip or fast forward any dialogue boxes or animations either. There was no reason to keep them from talking as Bowser, Princess Peach, and Toad all talk just as the Sonic characters do. However, characters like Luigi, Daisy, and the Koopalings have the most peculiar voice samples. Daisy sounds like she’s about to cough up her lunch and the Koopalings have this odd reverb effect that sounds like a rendering error. Many of these samples just sound unpleasant and you’ll be hearing them enough that it becomes grating.

Now, the Mario & Sonic series has been praised by fans for their amazing remixes of classic songs. These remixes allowed some unique flair to be given to countless songs from Mario and Sonic’s catalogue. So, one may wonder how many remixes there are in Mario & Sonic Tokyo. Two. There are only two remixes from the respective series. Sonic’s side received a rather standard and unimpressive remix of Metropolitan Highway from Sonic Forces. It doesn’t improve the original song at all and feels a bit half baked. On the other side, Mario received a remix of Peach’s Castle theme and it’s frankly awful. Just sped up with synth-like instruments. When this has been a repeated highlight for these games, (even in the less-than-stellar Wii U games), it’s baffling that SEGA and Nintendo didn’t try harder here. It feels lazy and extremely disappointing. In past games, you could go back to any event and change the standard background music to whatever songs you have unlocked. It’s just not possible here. That means that during the events, you’ll be listening to original music. Thankfully, it’s mostly very good! I am a big fan of the tunes set to Rugby Sevens, a battle with Metal Sonic, Surfing, and Dream Shooting. A lot of the music has a Japanese flair to it and it’s very well composed. Some songs are extremely catchy and I’ve found myself remembering and humming them outside of my time with the game. However, during the lengthy story cutscenes, you may be cycling through the same 5 or 6 songs and it can become old very quickly. They are good songs, but even the retro music wears thin when it’s been playing for most of your downtime.

Sonic fans have always been passionate about the voice work of the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Thankfully, the new voice clips (during events) are pretty good. Characters have interesting remarks when winning and some of them speak perfectly to their established characters. I believe that for the Sonic characters, most if not all of the voice clips are new. There are some baffling ones like Sonic saying “Ole!” and “Right through that wall!” at the most random times. Characters like Tails and Vector are very endearing in this game. Even so, it works well and as a fan, it was fun to hear. The Mario characters definitely have some new voice clips, but it’s hard to tell when their characters don’t vocally emote as often outside of this game. I’m sure there are some repeated clips, but there not all reused.

As this is a minigame collection, it’s important to question how the game actually plays. Overall, I think the Olympic events have been reworked in a significant enough way that it feels rewarding… though not perfect. For example, the 100M race, skateboarding, and badminton are a few events that are just too simplistic for their own good. They are just not as fulfilling to play through as other events. Rugby sevens, soccer (which is strangely called Football despite the fact that Japan calls the sport soccer), Karate, Archery, Sport Climbing, and Equestrian are a few of the events that are just exhilarating. Most of the events have done an admirable job allowing for motion controls with two joy cons, one joy con, or buttons. Since I have been gaming since the early 1990s, I almost always prefer button controls. Even so, I have to admit that the motion controls are fun… for some of the events. Archery is a blast with motion controls, as are the track & field events. The game seems to make a conscious effort to balance the less accurate use of motion controls to button controls. That’s great, but it can make some events feel unfairly difficult due to the handicap. For example, when using button controls, the Boxing event feels almost impossible to win without a huge amount of luck. If you’re knocked down while using buttons, you have to jam the A button to get up and it feels nearly impossible to recover within the allotted time. It’s something that was so aggravating that I found myself praying that SEGA would release a quality of life patch for this game to iron out some of the problems.

The 1964 events are pretty different from the 2020 events. Since they’re based on retro video games, they only allow for button controls. But with this aesthetic comes simplified gameplay. I found these events to be fun, but not too engaging. Shooting, 10M Platform, Marathon were pretty fun, but I wasn’t wowed by these. It’s 2019 and I think I can speak for many when I say that using retro sprites in your game doesn’t excite people as much as it used to. It sometimes comes across as desperate fan service. While these events are fun, I have to question: Has the game really benefited from going with this throwback? It has certainly increased the amount of events and didn’t hurt the overall package, but I also wasn’t blown away by their inclusion. Speaking of these retro events, it’s very saddening that it’s only limited to 8 characters. Classic characters like Donkey Kong, Metal Sonic, and especially Amy Rose are left out for seemingly no reason. This kind of exclusivity from the “classic” side of Sonic has been limited to Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Dr. Eggman for a long while now and it seems to ignore that Amy was part of that original crew too. Moreover, I’m sure fans would have loved to see more characters in this retro style. If SEGA/Nintendo had made more of an effort, we could have possibly seen more modern characters like Shadow the Hedgehog or Waluigi.

Throughout story mode there are also a number of mini games. In 2020, Luigi and Tails partake in many events. Whether it’s climbing up the side of Tokyo Tower, battling Shy Guys, or kicking a rugby ball to attack Metal Sonic; these events share their DNA with the normal Olympic events. Some of the ideas are creative, but they are over before they really begin. Again, they’re simplistic and through that simplicity is their downfall. I love the ideas on display, but I want them to be more engaging. One particular mini game that I was fond of has you searching for a particular Toad at the famous Shibuya Scramble. It’s basically a virtual version of a Where’s Waldo game, but it’s very fun and unique. The only problem is that it ends after finding three targets. If there was an option for this to be expanded into an endurance mode, then I think it would really have some legs.

The mini games for the 1964 world are a bit more unique, but are still overly simple. You might be sneaking into a museum, using Sonic’s speed to chase down a bullet train (shinkansen), or even using the biplane known as the Tornado to attack Eggman’s mechs above Tokyo. Interestingly, that sky battle is the most complex of all the mini games, but even it ends after three stages. What works so well with this mode is that the stage consists of numerous Sonic enemies with decent fan service throughout. You’ll battle Eggman’s first boss from Sonic the Hedgehog 1 as well as Mecha Sonic and the Metropolis Zone boss from Sonic 2. It’s so bizarre that this great amount of fan service is so hidden. You must re-enter this game a second time from a completely different menu to see this.

There are three Dream Events in this game. The first being Dream Racing which is honestly fantastic. It’s based on a stage from Sonic Forces and features a downhill race on hoverboards with Mario Kart-like items. It’s a bit clunky on certain parts, but it’s a lot of fun. The kinetic energy of the whole thing makes me want more than just one stage based on this. It’s definitely a highlight and if there was entire game based on a more refined version of this... I wouldn’t be opposed. Following that is Dream Karate based on the Mushroom Kingdom from Super Mario Odyssey. It’s a mess. There doesn’t seem to be any clear strategy and it favors chaos over defined goals. Also, it hardly uses the Mario universe. It’s just a square arena set in a Mario world with a bad remix in the background. Very disappointing. Lastly is Dream Shooting which takes place in a Japanese temple with each corner of the temple representing a different season. It uses the gyro controls of the Nintendo Switch and it’s very fun. A little clunky here and there, but enjoyable nonetheless. It has one crucial flaw in the fact that your character will laugh every single time they hit a target. It gets annoying quick when you’re constantly firing away and hearing them cackle nonstop. I don’t know how that sort of thing still gets by developers.

The story mode was heavily pushed with a lot of the promotion for this game. I can honestly say that this is not the type of game that needs a story, but it’s the kind of dopey thing that I am absolutely on board for. I was hoping for an over-the-top plot that had these characters doing ridiculous things based on idea from the Olympics. My expectations weren’t completely baseless either. Past games on the Nintendo DS and Nintendo 3DS have had story campaigns and they got wild with shadow clones of the characters to Dr. Eggman releasing giant robots. The games even featured some surprisingly well animated cutscenes too. You wouldn’t be wrong in thinking that I was hyped for this mode. What we got, however, was bare bones. I like the corny idea of the heroes and villains getting sucked into the retro game world. That’s wonderful, but unfortunately it doesn’t really get zanier than that. In 2020, Tails and Luigi work to save their friends by participating in regular Olympic events. In 1964, Mario and Sonic save themselves by participating in regular Olympic events. Yes, there are occasional mini games, but as I mentioned earlier, they are so simple and feel like they’ve finished before they’ve begun. Where’s the fun, the stupidly epic nature you can achieve when featuring franchises like Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog? Why can’t Eggman use the Gold Medals to make this fire monster that will compete against Mario and Sonic? Why can’t Metal Sonic cause chaos in Tokyo while Tails and Luigi stop him with a small platforming challenge? I know that there was an attempt with the mini games that are available, but it still comes up short and leaves me wanting a lot more.

This problem is completely related to the story as well. Meaning that while it has some genuinely great moments, it is a slog to get through at times. It has one formula and it follows that formula for the entire campaign. Every time, it’s a chore of: “go to this venue, talk to the character, face that character in an event, have them give you an item.” It never breaks off from this formula. Even the mini games follow the same structure. Again, where’s the heart? This is just running through the motions of a story. I’d love for it to really go wild with the Olympics and the characters at their disposal. One thing I couldn’t wrap my head around was the use of Luigi. This game really, really, really likes Luigi. He has the most mini games out of anybody, he’s featured in the story more than any other character, and once the game is finished, you are stuck using Luigi for any of the events within the epilogue. This includes the Dream Events too. Considering the fact that this game came out just one day after Luigi’s Mansion 3, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was intentional. It’s very odd that a game with Mario & Sonic in the title gives so much of the spotlight to Luigi. Along with his annoying vocal grunts that I mentioned earlier, I found Luigi got on my nerves throughout the story. The game also never lets you control any Sonic characters outside of a few events. Despite the fact that they are in pairs for the entire story, on the map screens, you can only control Mario in 1964 and Luigi in 2020. Not for nothing, but I’d like to control Sonic and Tails if I had the choice. This isn’t a huge complaint, but it’s something I noticed.

There are some positives to the story mode though. Certain character interactions are fantastic. I really loved bumping into Jet the Hawk, Wario & Waluigi, and Ludwig von Koopa during the campaign. Jet still refers to Sonic by his full name which was a bit of character consistency that made me smile. Sonic is also written pretty well. Since Mario doesn’t talk, Sonic does all of the talking for the heroes. He’s got a great mix of cockiness, heroism, and that cheesy factor that makes him so likeable. I was happy seeing how Sonic acted even if it wasn’t anything too mind blowing. Bowser and Eggman are written a bit more incompetent than usual, but it works well for comedic effect. There is also a moment in the climax that taps into that greatness I was hoping for. It’s a fantastic moment that I won’t spoil, but I enjoyed it and cared about what was happening to all of the character in the retro game world.

Throughout the map screens, you can find trivia pods. This seems like cheap filler, but I have to be honest… I actually found them very fun. There are 4 types of trivia cards: Olympic trivia, Japan trivia, Mario character trivia, and Sonic character trivia. I found myself learning a lot about the Olympics and Japan through this game. Often I became aware of things I never knew of. As a fan too, seeing Amy’s love for fortune reading or the game teasing that Wario and Waluigi are just two dudes who hang out together was a nice treat. However, being a big fan also means you know when they make mistakes. So when they say that Eggman Nega is Eggman’s descendant, I can’t help, but roll my eye. Yes, I know the Sonic Rivals games messed up the continuity, but the Sonic Rush games clearly established he’s from another dimension. His name is Eggman NEGA for crying out loud! In fact, his whole character is stated time and time again that he hates Eggman and yet he spends a vast majority of the campaign actively trying to save Eggman from the video game world. How many wires got crossed when they were making this game? Also, some pods say that Shadow being born on the Space Colony ARK is just a rumor... when we’ve had TWO games dedicated to that backstory. It just left me flabbergasted. Other trivia pods are just a waste of time though. “What color are Wendy’s shoes,” read one question that had a full body picture of Wendy attached to it. (Yes, you could clearly see her shoes). Were they that lazy with some of these?

One particular thing about the story mode that had me laughing while also sighing was how much this game praises Japan. It’s honestly hilarious. Talking to Toads or animals around the map screens almost always has them saying how amazing Japan is, how the Olympics are this perfect accumulation of everybody’s efforts, or how nice and incredible Japanese achievements and citizens are. I’m not saying that Japan is a bad country, but when you’re constantly being told this stuff, after a while it just seems like excessive. I’m not blind to the fact that this game was made to be a commercial of sorts for the 2020 Olympic games and for Japan too, but the game clearly has more love and more of a desire to promote Japan than it does the two lead stars of the game. Let’s be honest here, Olympic fans aren’t coming out in droves to play this game, Mario and Sonic fans are.

Online play has been included too. Honestly, there isn’t too much to say about it. If you’ve played Super Smash Bros. Ultimate or Super Mario Maker 2 online before then you know what to expect. Nintendo’s shoddy online service doesn’t do Mario & Sonic any favors. It’s functional, but button delay and occasional lag are very apparent and do hamper the experience. I enjoyed a few games of Rugby Sevens online, but I never felt like I had as much control as I did when I was playing solo. For games like the Javelin Throw or Triple Jump that require pinpoint accuracy, I don’t see how this is going to be viable. Nintendo can make some great games, but they are constantly behind in all other aspects.

Plenty can be said about Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020. Mechanically, all of the changes to the many events have benefited how they played. There’s a lot to experience here, but the game shies away from using the potential of having such iconic heroes in their line-up. I don’t know if it’s incompetence or laziness, but this doesn’t not reach the heights that it should. It has less Dream Events, less music remixes, less fan service, and a less ambitious story than previous Mario & Sonic games. Many people come into these games knowing they’ll be simple, but also feeling that the fan service and winks to the source material will elevate it into something great. Nevertheless, it feels like SEGA and Nintendo believed that putting Sonic and company in cute outfits would be enough to excuse other lackluster elements. I worry that this review may have come across as overly negative. There are many things I love about this game and I find that the game can be a real blast to play! The variety of the events and the pure fun factor of some cannot be denied. There are many good qualities to be found in this product, but when it lacks that special shine and polish that is to be expected by now, it inevitably feels disappointing. I don’t hate this game in the slightest, but I’d be lying if I said it I wasn’t left wanting more as a fan. SEGA and Nintendo are big companies and they can do better than this; we should expect more from them. At the end of the day, I will definitely be popping this game in from time to time. The mechanics are fun and there are lovable characters in here. I just wish they were celebrated more than the Olympics themselves.

[thebigpapilio]

The Father, The Children & The Unholy Terrors

This is a sequel to The Koopa, The Dad, & The Better!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796473/chapters/47990149#workskin

It had been about 3.5 years since Bowser took Hawkmoth down, and a lot of things had happened. For starters, Mario & Peach had divorced - on good terms, thankfully - because Peach could tell Mario wasn’t happy as King, and more recently, come out as bi (though there was no information on significant others). The more-than-accepting Mushroom World mostly theorized on Daisy & Rosalina being her potential lover for female partners, but Bowser knew that the two were practically her sisters, so he pshaw’d at the rumors and went about his business. Things were happy.

Well, they were, anyways.

If Bowser thought Hawkmoth was irritating the first time, he hadn’t seen anything yet; the Koopa King was utterly livid in reaction to the attacks of the ex-fashion mogul. Somehow the villain had not only recovered the Moth Miraculous and found his way to the Mushroom World but had kidnapped all 8 of his children, turning them into his akumas and wreaking havoc upon not only the Koopa & Mushroom Kingdoms but other lands as well, all in a bid to raise an army, go to his home world & take the Miraculous.

The second he found out, Bowser sent for the Mario Brothers and any other hero he could find, even going to the Miraculous World (as Bowser had begun to call it) and getting the aid of Chat Noir & his Ladybug, who had not only learned each other’s identities and were thinking of retiring from the hero business but were willing to do one last job to stop the Black Cat’s father.

Ultimately, however, even with the help he was getting Bowser wanted to save his kids. He went on his way to Hawkmoth’s first conquered domain, the Initial Steppes. With the help of Wario, Waluigi & King Monkey, Roy - or the magic-flinging Orby Son - was tracked down & while it wasn’t fun to fight him, Roy was eventually restored to his senses.

When his sunglasses were broken, however, no akuma slipped out. This was useful information that he should have checked with Chat; now knew this was not the Moth Miraculous’ doing, but someone else with similar magic.

Bowser knew of nobody who had those powers others than Hawkmoth, though, so he didn’t have a certain place or person to search for.

After getting Roy to the Mushroom Kingdom, where he entrusted the Koopa Kingdom-trained security force to ensure he wasn’t taken again, Bowser & another set of allies continued on their quest to save the Koopa King’s kids.

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The rest of the Koopalings were saved more quickly than Bowser expected. He’d thought whoever was doing this would be stronger than Hawkmoth if they could essentially replicate a Miraculous’ powers.

In the Shifty Sand Desert, Pop Nova was reformed as Iggy with the help of Captain Toad, Toadette, & the help of two new heroes - Rongeuse & Doux Bœuf, a young couple with promise rings.

After adventuring through the Deeper Deeper Depths, the mystic Mullen O.P. was brought back to the form of Larry, Bowser being aided by the new heroes Tigresse Violette & Boaroness (an adorable opposites-attract couple) as well as - to his surprise & awe - Peach, Rosalina & Mayor Pauline. Not only did Bowser save another of his children, he figured out who Peach’s secret someone special was; he’d caught those lovesick stares between the leaders clad in pink and red.

With the help of Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong & Cranky Kong, Bowser traversed through their home island, and soon Pegasus & Lapine (who apparently had been almost prophesied to become a Miraculous holder) joined him in his battle against Plasmatica, returning her to Wendy.

Then, Bowser traveled through the ice monster-infested Freezyfreak Peak, battling Big Downey & Circus Freak while backed up by Queen Bee, Carapace, Rena Rouge and even the duo of Petey Piranha & King Boo, which was a bigger surprise than it should have been; Bowser had went to the good side, and it appeared the two now-ex-villains followed the Koopa King’s example. When Morton was saved, he and Bowser had a talk about changing Morton’s name, as the big-mouthed brute had been having some personal issues once the truth about Morton Koopa Senior’s crude behavior & manipulation of the current king, and Bowser had beat himself up for a bit for making things look like Morton couldn’t trust him with the truth.

The final Koopaling to be saved was Ludwig in the oddly-named Bright Land, who had been transformed into Decomposer. Bowser was not alone in restoring his eldest adopted child - Ryuuko, Viperion, Yoshi & Birdo showed up to give him a hand.

Bowser received a lead from Ludwig. It was a big, mostly-white figure who had taken Bowser’s kids, and also still had Bowser Junior. The Koopa Kingdom’s leader then knew who had done the dastardly deeds. Informing everyone, Bowser & his allies set off for the Dry Dry Desert.

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“DRY ME, YOU SKELETAL SCOUNDREL, COME HERE AND FACE ME!” Bowser roared, punching open the dusty door where Bowser Junior & the perpetrator were reportedly held.

As predicted, Dry Bowser stood there, a dark-energy-covered Bowser Junior standing at his side.

“I’m here, my fleshy form. Whatever do you need? Perhaps… you want my new protégé back?”

“YOUR WHAT? NO! THAT AIN’T HAPPENING! RETURN HIM TO NORMAL, NOW!”

“Well, I’d normally be more than fine with doing so, but forgive me if I’m not too excited - you stole my new generals!”

“WELL, YOU STOLE THEM FIRST, AND FROM ME! I MAY BE A GOOD GUY NOW-”

“And that’s my other problem with you. What happened? Just because your father expressed his superiority to the Mushroom Kingdom badly doesn’t mean you should give up on the legacy he created for you!”

“...so you knew my dad? I thought you were reborn from me, or related, or something like that.” Dry Bowser’s voice suddenly deepened and gained more rumble behind it. “We are indeed related, but Dry Bowser is not. He is merely my current vessel.”

The pieces clicked.

“...Father.”

From beyond the grave, the spirit of Morton gave a dark cackle. “Indeed, my son, it is I! I sensed you were disgracing the royal Koopa lineage, so I came at once! Your behavior is unforgivable, so the bloodline of the mistaken Koopas shall end with you!”

“The only disgraceful & unforgivable Koopa is you!”

Standing at the now purified Bowser Junior’s side were Mario, Luigi, Chat Noir & Ladybug.

“WHAT? NO!” Morton roared. Seizing the opportunity, Bowser rushed the possessed Dry Bowser and with a resounding POW, he knocked the skeletal vessel’s skull right off. From the area where his head was, the dark spirit of Morton rose, preparing to attack his son, alongside his friends.

Suddenly getting an idea, Ladybug chucked her yo-yo at the ghostly form, and as she predicted with a lucky guess, it sucked up the foul father’s foggy form, banishing him to the afterlife for good.

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Bowser had thanked the Miraculous heroes profusely before they left for their world.

“You helped save mon chaton and potentially the world,” Ladybug just shrugged it off, “this is the least we could do, right?”

Bowser and Adrien would keep it contact, helping each other through the mental issues caused by their male creators. Both knew they had allies and families who would be with them the whole way, and it made them happy.

There wasn’t much else that could be used to describe their feelings - Bowser and Adrien had always had trouble expressing themselves until these times, after all.

[greyliliy]

Paper Mario: The Origami King

I loved Paper Mario: The Origami King. A lot. It's my first Paper Mario game and it is an understatement to say that I adored it. Enough so that I want to write a full review on my thoughts for the entire game. o-o It’s been so long since I’ve felt the need to do that and it feels good. It feels so good. T-T

So let’s do this. :D This is going to be a long one, and I’ll probably put the cut right before I start talking about individual chapters. Hopefully before that there are no major spoilers, but afterwards its’ a free for all discussion. So spoilers will be present! :D

A Brief History of my Relationship With Paper Mario

I saw an Arlo video talking about it when I was randomly browsing videos on his channel (I found him for something else believe or not) and I think that was the first time I even realized this franchise existed. Lol. (Which is funny because I have a Wii U and Paper Mario: Color Splash was like the last big game for that console).

I was curious so I browsed the Paper Mario Reddit and watched his Color Splash reviews and got interested in the series.

I ended starting to watch play throughs of Thousand Year Door (where I am mostly through the game? The players just finished the area where you get Vivian) and Color Splash (where I am halfway through the game maybe?).

My opinion on both games: They both look fine. TYYD has it’s good points. Color Splash has its good points. I feel like I would be irritated by random battles in both of them, no matter the combat methods. Lol.

But honestly I leaned more toward Color Splash because I love the Paper Aesthetic. Good story + Paper Themed World = My jam.

Which  means that first Origami King trailer smacked me in the face because it looked like I’d be getting both. I preordered the game as soon as I saw the trailer and it did not disappoint. Lol.

General Stuff

The Good: The characters! I adored all of them. Every character, whether generic minion or unique, was bursting with fun dialogue and moments that made me smile. Olivia was precious. I want an Origami Olly to put in my room (I love him so much) and the Legion of Stationary was surprisingly fleshed out. They were easily my favorite bosses in the game, which was a surprise after all the teasing they got in the trailers. Lol.

Plus: LUIGI. Oh my gosh. He’s amazing in this game. XD

The Music doesn’t need my praise. Everyone has praised the music in this game and it deserves it. Every. Single. Track. Is the greatest and I love this soundtrack. I’m listening to it right now (Where can I buy this Nintendo. TELL ME).

I also really enjoyed the battles. It had a nice blend of Turn Based & Overworld Action, keeping things mixed up and fresh. I wasn’t great at some of the combat (Which I’ll talk about below in the chapter by chapter section) but the game makes stuff easier if you fail too much...which I appreciated. LOL.

Oh. And the Confetti thing. I liked it. Filling holes with confetti was satisfying in a nice completionism way. It was kinda soothing, too, and it was nice to physically repair the world in addition to trying to save it in general.

The Critique: The game needed more time with Olly. I’m not just saying that as someone who loved him, I’m saying it as a story miss. We see Olly at the beginning. And we see him for like two seconds at a time between chapters to half-handedly ask Olivia to join him, and then...the final boss fight. One or two cut-away scenes showing what Olly and Peach were doing between the Streamer Banners would have been great and done wonders for fleshing out the story.

The Combat: Opinions on this have been highly mixed. Specifically, I have noticed a large crowd saying the combat is too easy; they line everything up on the first turn and kill everything on the first turn and then they’re drowning in coins so there’s no point to battle.

And then there’s Me: I rarely got the puzzle right on the first turn, which means I didn't get the bonus coins, and I usually burned through weapons and faster since I didn’t get the “Great Line Up!” on the first turn bonus. So I was...constantly fight enemies for coins (Stuff gets expensive in this game) and using them to get help from the Toads.

So when I got puzzles right on the first turn, I felt super accomplished. Lol. I did eventually get better at them (and used one of the help items from the Battle Toad) and was beating them in one turn 60% of the time. So while I really enjoyed the puzzle turn-based battles, I can see how some would get tired and bored of them.

I think a difficulty setting might fix the wildly different experiences with this. The puzzles get much tricker later, so if you’re solving even those too fast--the game could have given you harder stuff to solve.

Though it is sort of funny. If you do well at puzzles, you get a ton of extra bonus coins. But if you’re good at the puzzles, you don’t need those coins since coins are mostly spent on “Getting help for puzzles.” Which the people who are bad at puzzles need but don’t get...fun times.

Boss battles, however, were mostly scripted and I’ll talk about those in detail in the spoiler section below. XD

The Game

Okay! Let’s get into the meat and talk about each Streamer Section individually. o-o Whoooooooo. I’m glad the Game8 Wiki has a nice layout for me to reference. XD

Prologue

This is when I knew I was going to love the game. Luigi is adorable. Origami Peach is every bit as creepy as the trailer promised. And Olly stealing the castle was great. :D

The Red Streamer

This entire streamer is a tutorial. I can see how that could get irritating if you don’t like Olivia holding you hand (and I have seen many complain about it), but this is the only chapter where she does that. 

Which I understand. Every streamer follows the same sort of pattern (explore two or more themed areas to open up a path to a temple, beat a temple, beat a Vellumental, go clear the boss building/area, fight the Stationary Boss). Giving the audience a clear how-to guide to get through an entire Streamer Chapter isn’t the worst.

Plus Olivia is adorable and I used X to talk to her all the time, whether I needed the hint or not. Lol.

Whispering Woods

The mini story with the trees and the the little Toad camp ground are cute. I was surprised that I had to back track here later in the game a few times. XD

Toad Town

The hub world! Here you can find the Museum (which has all the fast travel pipes), the Battle Practice area (which if you visit 3x will give you items to make the Ring battles easier), and the shop (please remember to actually use your membership card you get from here and don’t be like me who paid 24,000 coins in the late game for a collectible when I could have had it HALF OFF but I forgot to equip the membership card).

It also features: A cool Graffiti area I need to visit again because I heard it gets more art as you progress through the game, many Macho Gumbas to beat, the Docks, a Toad that’ll tell you what Power Up Hearts you are missing, more fast travel options, and a great scene with Luigi that kick-starts his sub-story as he hunts for Princess Peach’s Castle Key.

Picnic Road & Overlook Mountain

So many hidden Toads. Everywhere. XD It’s a very lovely area, but again, since this is a tutorial-ish Streamer there isn’t much there aside from enemies to practice fighting and a lot of examples of how Toads hide (including in the ground, in walls, as folded origami, on the other end of small over world puzzles, etc.)

Earth Elemental Temple & Fight

I loved the lead up to this Temple. The fake Koopa one with the small tour boxes was so great. It was funny, cute, and I loved that the fake Temple Tour ended with a real Temple.

The fight was easy (again...tutorial streamer) but I still messed up a few times. Lol. It took me a while to get the hang of the boss rings (and I kid you not, it was like five streamers in before I realized you could move the boss ring panels front and back in addition to rotating the rings).

Olivia turning into a Vellumental was a huge surprise. I’m not sure how I feel about it as a whole, but they use her transforming powers the entire game, so it’s thematically appropriate.

Overlook Tower & Colored Pencils

Fighting your way up the tower to get to the boss was fun. I loved the elevator bits & the drawings everywhere (Colored Pencils drew Olly!!!).

It was a very nice introduction to the future “Boss Building before the Fight” that you’ll face in every Streamer.

Also Colored Pencils having a personality was such a delight that I couldn’t help but grin. Legit, the Legion of Stationary are some of my favorite characters and I’m amazing at how much life and personality they shoved into these office supplies.

I’m sad they die afterwards though. T-T

But with the Red Streamer done, the game stops holding your hand and the game really gets going. :P

The Blue Streamer

One word: Bobby.

It’s fun having the second world be your favorite in the game. Lol. But it just hit all the right beats and made a great impact.

Autumn Mountain

Very pretty area. Lets you get to know Bob-omb (aka “Bobby” as Olivia likes to call him) and his personality as you explore a gorgeous, autumn area. Lots of warm colors and great music tracks. It had a few frustrating areas with the stupid falling Chestnuts (oh my gosh how long did it take me to figure out I needed to hit the wall to break it lol), but overall a good area.

Water Vellumental

I cheated on the slide puzzles. I’ll admit it. I paid the coins to have the Temple solve its own puzzles. LOL.

Years of playing Zelda made me terrified of a Water based Temple but it wasn’t that bad aside from the slide puzzles. A very lovely temple with a great design.

The boss fight was one of the easier ones, but I was still getting the hang of figuring out the pathing for boss fights so it took me a while to figure out how to execute the things I wanted to do (I figured out early I had to use Olivia’s Earth Vellumental form to avoid the Water Attack, but I wasn’t so good at lining u the On Button and the Magic Circles to do it lol).

Eddy River

Lord this was annoying. I missed one of the Holes to fill with confetti and that was the moment were I was like “I will never 100% this game” because the thought of going down that river again made me go “No.” XD

Shogun Studios

I loved running around this amusement park. There were puzzles and character interactions everywhere. (So many item trades between NPCs lol) and the Ninja Mansion was fun. Even if I had to do it twice because I missed Luigi the first time around...

Big Sho’ Theatre & Rubber Band

This was amazing.

Riding the up the tower in the audience seats. The captured Toad audience. The paper Macho actors. The different stage plays. Rubber Band yelling in the background before showing up as the Diva they are.

The Rubber Band fight was also a blast. I figured out the trick immediately and had a great time wrecking that boss. XD

It was fun. The Rubber Band Tower & Fight are easily my 2nd favorite Boss Area and Fight in the game.

Sweetpaper Valley to Breezy Tunnel

I know this area is technically part of the Yellow Streamer, but it feels like an interlude section, so I’m putting it in its own section.

I will admit, I had this part of the game spoiled for me. I knew about what happened to Bobby and I was like “Really. The game’s going to go there.”

And it did.

When you get to the Valley, Olly drops a bolder on Olivia and Bobby’s like “I know how to fix this.”

He takes you on an awesome adventure through the Princess Peach Cruise Ship that involves an incredible Macho Battle on the boat and the retrieval of a special item, and then when you get back...

Bob-omb saves Olivia.

The death of Bobby itself wasn’t the sad part. Honestly it was a little funny because the bolder explodes into a bunch of confetti that Mario picks up as he walks through it.

The sad part is Olivia.

When she realizes what happened to Bobby and runs away. Ug. Sitting with her in the dark as she sobs. Her grief. It’s so sad in the best way. And then Bobby! Bobby tells you to cheer her up and man.

That tiny “That’s not fair” she says to Mario when he makes her laugh? That’s the spot that got me teary eyed for the first time in the game.

It’s so good and it solidified this game as an all time favorite. Even if the rest of the game was horrible, it can’t take that scene away.

The Yellow Streamer

The. Music. This area has my favorite music. Every track is such a jazzy, awesome beat and I could hang out in the Snif City Hotel Pool Room all day to listen to that song. XD

Scorching Dessert & Snif City

Driving through the Desert areas felt a little like padding since you had to keep backtracking everywhere, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the Purple Streamer later, so in hindsight it’s less annoying. Lol.

Snif City has a fun design and I loved exploring it, along with the desert area. The Luigi cameo was pretty fun (as was the intentional game over I triggered to see the animation lol).

Professor Toad is a fun partner character, though I will admit I got stuck for a while because I didn’t realize you could use him to dig in spots that weren’t glowing (oops).

Olivia singing to raise the temple was a treat.

The Fire Vellumental

This temple is how I found out the game makes stuff easier if you fail too many times. There was a jumping area where you have to only jump on blocks that light up and I failed so many times it dropped all the blocks you couldn’t jump on. Uh. Oops. XD

The Fire Vellumental has my favorite design. It’s basically Moltres and Olivia looks awesome as a fire bird.

The Temple of Shrooms and Hole Punch

This might be my favorite Stationary Lair & Fight. The temple was great to explore. The Faceless Toads were fun and creepy. And oh my gosh the DJ dance room caught me so off guard I couldn't help but laugh.

Great music. Great Boss.

The fact he wouldn’t come out unless everyone was partying was fantastic. The fight itself was also pretty fun with the guy hole-punching Mario and having to find your pieces on the grid. The Hole Punch’s theme “Disco Devil” is also so good I can’t take it. Who gave a song a right to be that catchy?

I loved every second of this temple & fight.

Captain T.Ode

And then of course everything ends with Professor Toad finding the Toad he was looking for, finishing out his mini story arc. And using your fire powers to free him (And after the Shangri-Spa Toads worked so hard, too!! Lol).

The Purple Streamer

This is the only area of the game I didn’t like. It had a few good moments (Luigi and the Mushroom Island, a few of the puzzles islands) but overall I wanted to get through it as fast as possible and almost rage quit at one point.

The only saving grace was the ending with the Stationary Boss.

The Great Sea

It took me way too long to realize I had to take the boat out into the mist before it would prompt Captain T.Ode getting his submarine. WAY TOO LONG. I was sailing around aimlessly and screaming in the Museum wondering why the guy didn’t come get the Marino yet for like a solid thirty minutes.

Everything about this area was slow. Swimming from Island to Island. The loading screens between the Submarine sections. The small Island puzzles.

Just. Ug.

And of course when I find out I can upgrade the boat to go faster I didn’t have enough coins. So I had to go to another area to fight baddies to get coins and come back. XD

Even meeting Olly’s creator on an island (with a great Luigi sequence) was a disappointment. It was so short and all we really learned was that Olly is the one who made Olivia (which makes him more her Dad than her Brother...which I have talked bout before but will let the topic drop here for now). And that was IT.

Give me a flashback to Olly being made. Give me more of a hint to what the Origami Maker wrote to make the kid go nuts. Just. Something. Anything! *throws hands in the air*

The Ice Vellumental

This temple was annoying. The sliding ice puzzles were just...no. They aren’t actually that bad. I was just really burned out from all the sailing when I got to this temple and was in a bad mood. I’ll be fair--the temple itself was fine.

(Except for one area where you had to climb the stairs while dodging falling boulders and I kept messing up  my jumps and having to do it over and ARRRGH).

BUT THE BEAR.

I hate the bear. I had my first game over with the bear. I nearly rage Quit with the bear. And I beat him EVENTUALLY with 10 HP and because the game had pity on me and stuck the 1000 Arms Technique panel on the outer row.

I was fine up until the “Memorize the path and recreate it” section. The path would look easy. I’d remember where it was. But then the rings would get shuffled and I could not recreate the path for the life of me. I tried it so many times. I failed so many times.

*stares into the distance* 

I watched a Youtube Tutorial that beat that boss in five minutes. It took me like an hour. There is a special type of frustration that comes from “I know what I need to do and I know the trick but I can’t seem to make it work.”

The Three Trials

I paid coins to make these easier. I was so done with everything by that point, that failing the stupid Strength Trial twice in a row was enough to just. End me. XD

The Sea Tower and Tape

A shining light in a horrible Streamer. Lol. The Tower was fun to climb and I got excited for the Tape boss.

Who did not disappoint.

His greaser Punk personality and calling Olly “Boss” was the first thing that made me really grin this entire streamer. Even Tape’s fight gimmick taping the panels down was almost a relief and a much easier fight than the Ice Vellumental.

I loved the Tape fight. XD

The Green Streamer

Aka “Kamek is awesome and bless the Bowser Minions.”

Shangri-Spa

I liked this area more than I thought I would. When I first got there and saw the theme of Angel Toads I was like “Why” and then I saw Bower’s fallen Castle, met all the minions paying off their debt cleaning, and Olivia thought Kamek was a housekeeper.

Bless all of it.

And then Bowser Jr. gets cut into pieces by a pair of scissors and it was like “Oh, shit.”

You fix him of course, but the implications were like “Dude, those scissors killed Bowser Jr.” I honestly think one of the reasons they leaned so much harder into the “paper” aesthetic was to get away with more violence/darker content. The entire Scissors lair and fight is the perfect example. It sort of follows TV and Cartoon logic - if it’s not human, you can get away with a LOT more violence (like robots getting ripped apart or derezzing characters in Tron).

It’s not actual gore, but if you think about what it symbolizes, it really hits you (and why Mario Game Overs getting cut in half instead of reviving with his Green Mushroom).

You get a small break after that exploring all the Spas and their mini puzzles to fix Bowser Jr. The Jungle Area is the longest of which and has some nice scripted Game Overs that are fun to trigger and Olivia, Kamek, and Bowser Jr. have a good “Pick me!” scenario that gets repeated.

The boss of his area is also Macho Chain Chomp which is a win in my book because Chain Chomp is Best Mario Baddie.

(I love Chain Chomps. I have a Chain Chompette on my Keychain.)

Bowser’s Castle & Scissors

I noticed a lot of people saying Scissors was their favorite Stationary Boss and I didn’t quite get why until this Castle & Fight. He’s not knocking Hole Punch out of the way on my own list (Seriously that Boss fight music), but he is up there on the “Dude” factor.

Scissors is creepy. He is a literal sadist who tortures everyone he gets his hand on. His shadow paper minions are creepy and have cool Ring Battles.

The mutilated minions he used to make up a paper Macho Buzzy Beetle was dark if you thought about it too long - but it was a great Kamek moment. XD

Scissors himself had a great “I want a challenge!” attitude and his fight was intense.

I also screwed up and broke the blade guard on the first turn and uh. I died very quickly. XD That note that says “DO NOT BREAK THE GUARD” wasn’t kidding. I’m not super at timing action commands, so uh, jumping over the blades didn’t work out so well (especially when Scissors started cheating...).

Second time went much better. I figured out how to time attacks to avoid hitting his guard. I got to see the awesome cut scene where he took the guard off. I actually dodged a hit. I had fun. XD

And then Bowser enters the scene for the final areas of the game. Whoooo!

Finale

Bowers’ Air Ship appearance was epic. Very cinematic and I loved how he was like “I might use this against you later.”

Mario and Bowser team ups never fail to disappoint, honestly.

The air battle was messed up.

After that entire scene with Bobby in the Blue Streamer...I am now firing Bob-ombs at planes freely and in mass numbers because I have bad aim. I just. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry. XD

The crash landing and the race out of the volcano were fun, though.

Peach’s Castle & Olly’s Castle

Luigi finally brought us the right key. I haven’t talked about Luigi much, but every single one of his appearances brought a smile with them. I loved how he had a key in every chapter like clockwork, and even now, he came through.

Bowser talking about Luigi was also pretty great. XD

But most importantly:

I love Olly. His few appearances here desperately made me wish there had been more of him earlier. He’s a dramatic little brat and I want to hug him.

The transformation of Peach’s Castle to Olly’s Origami one? Amazing. One of my favorite cut scenes in the game.

Fighting the Origami Castle itself? Eh. Aside from the great music tracks, it was a little tedious. It lacked the cool levels of the earlier Boss Areas and was mostly “use 1000 folding arms” to progress. I didn’t hate the area, but it was a bit of a let down.

Stapler was nice though. He was a good dog. That I crushed in combat. o-o

King Olly

His throne room covered in Paper Cranes is my favorite designed room & man, I wish I remembered to take more screen shots. It was so creepy and so dark and it looked so good with this tiny paper King sitting alone next to an empty throne since Olivia “Betrayed” him. 

I loved how his castle still had Olivia everywhere. Like they were meant to be together, but still separated. So good. T-T

The Princess Peach reveal was also so creepy and great.

But also made me wish for more cut scenes. Why did Olly want to make her into the wall? Why did he want her quiet? Did she annoy him? Or What? Tell me, game. Tell me!

Aesthetically it made the room look perfect though as his creepy little room. XD

As far as Olly's motivations go...I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, yes, it’s a little shallow. “A Toad wrote on me so now I’m going to destroy all flat paper beings and make them origami!” is sure...a thing. But I’m also a fan of Evil Characters that are just...evil. Maybe Olly really did just want to make everything Origami so they were like him. He was the first “Living” Origami creature and maybe he was just lonely. That’s why he made Olivia and wanted everyone to be like him. 

But that’s also reading into it...and makes me want to write a fanfic exploring it, but this is a review. XD

I’m fine with “Olly was looking for any excuse to go nuts and take over the world and the writing will just have to do.” Even if it does make his little “I guess I lost so now I’m redeemed” moment feel forced. XD

The Fights

The Bowser Origami Sumo vs Giant Olly thing was...okay. I get what they were going for, but it kinda missed the mark with me.

The Actual Olly fight? Oh lord. I had to do it like 10 times.

I failed the Action commands...a lot. Which meant a lot of game overs since I went into the fight with like 40 health (I may or may not be bad at jumping and the Sumo fight throwing stars may or may not have wrecked my health) and didn’t doge Olly's attacks.

Thankfully the game made the ring puzzle easier each time so I could actually finish it.

And it only took me 4 times to get the action commands right? XD Something like that.

I DID IT which is the point.

(This is a case of “If I was better at gaming I would have loved the fight” but my poor skills made it longer and more tedious than it should have been - only’s awesome speech at the beginning loses its bite after the fourth time hearing it.)

The Final Cut Scene

Olivia saying Goodby to Olly had me teary eyed. Her holding his little hand. Reading the message their creator left. Olly’s request for her to make him into the last crane.

Olivia’s freaking WISH. Knowing that She, herself, was one of Olly’s creations.

The cut scene was beautiful. The cranes. The light. The castles’ return.

The party at the end. The two little empty thrones.

I was sniffing through the (very well done and great to watch) credits.

Olivia was such a good girl and I miss her and Olly so much.

This ending was the perfect example of “Wouldn’t change it because it made me sad in a good way but Bless Fanfics and their “Everyone Lives” alternate universes.”

THE END

The game had a few hiccups but overall? I loved it. I can very easily see how “Your first Paper Mario is your favorite” is going to hold true. Wonderful game.

I might have to actually go back and try to 100% the game to get that extra ending I’ve seen spoiled.

[multicolour-ink]

Been thinking about the warp zone area and thought of something interesting. It looks massive and by all accounts- pretty difficult to navigate. Yet one would assume the ability to fast travel to other kingdoms within minutes would out weigh the negatives of taking a wrong turn; just hop back in the way you came and try again. Except from what we see, apart from the bros falling in by accident, no other living soul is using the warp zone. It's been largely abandoned. The NY pipe is rusty and forgotten. Same goes for the one in the MK; all overgrown and dilapidated. I believe the implication is Bowser has purposefully made the warp zone too dangerous to use by making the likelihood of landing in the Darklands very high. Not only is his area dark and ominous when compared to the other normal green pipe exits we see, but it's also massive. Perhaps he has gotten some of the magikoopas to enchant the area to be that way.

Imagine the zone to be the equivalent of a big ol' subway. It may be large and confusing but it's ultimately a way to quickly get from one location to another. Except now someone has rigged the tracks to where if your train car gets too close to a specific location, your train gets diverted into the pits of hell. Yeah, I too wouldn't use that method of transport if I was aware there'd be a chance of that happening. Citizens have stopped using it because it's just not safe anymore.

It's why folks like Toad are so certain that if you go into the big scary pipe, you're never coming back. He knew EXACTLY what Mario was describing.

For Bowser, I think this accomplishes two things:

1. You've effectively cut off easy communication to other lands, making it much more difficult to coordinate a defense. It's probably why Peach, Mario, and Toad need to travel to the Kong's Kingdom mostly on foot.

2. If anyone is unlucky enough to fall into the big scary pipe, you can have minions waiting on the other side to capture and bring them in for interrogation on the goings-on in the other kingdoms.

I have been trying to figure out how the warp pipes in this movie verse work...

For starters, why IS there a warp pipe just sitting at the very depths of a city sewer system on Earth? And why have no other humans (aside from the Bros) fallen into it?

Well, Peach did mention that "there's a whole universe out there"; What if, long ago, that universe was all interconnected, and many worlds could visit each other whenever they pleased?

Or (and this is the theory I'm sticking to), what if the warp pipes are organic matter, like plants that sprout and grow out over time? Like the roots of trees! But (much like tree roots) some warp pipes can spread out too far, and accidentally connect to other worlds. I imagine there are experts or scholars in the Mushroom World who keep track of all the warp pipes and where they go; if they find one has gone too far, then they simply "block it off", preventing any from using it.

If you notice, the pipe Mario falls out of is on a wall, and (unless you do a well timed jump from one of the giant mushrooms) there's no way to get back in there again.

The warp pipes branching off too far can also be at risk of creating "crossroads" (like we see in the warp zone scene). This could also be why some pipes are blocked off.

Bowser blocking the one to his kingdom makes sense as well. He's not going to use it (too big. And he has a flying fortress!), and it stops any unwanted guests from stumbling in.

[nyrator]

also I beat Mario Odyssey this morning and by beat I mean the final boss

spoilers under cut of opinions of stuff

so yeah ended up enjoying it more than when I first did once I shook the Hat in Time mechanics from my muscle memory (A Hat in Time is still a game I enjoyed better but this game definitely itches my love of collectathon games)

At just over 600 Moons (which I still call stars), got every star possible before the final boss I believe, then yeah. About 9400 coins by the end, all of which I spent on clothing (I have them all unlocked as well as the Dark and Darker Sides of the Moon, but haven’t been to them yet)

Some worlds were ehh, some were nice, most Moons/Coins I managed to find by myself, but after a point when I only had like a small handful left I’d always look at a guide for the general location (I refused to spend money on Toad for some reason and didn’t realize Amiibo would also do that), a lot of times I was always missing some obvious set of three purple coins somewhere near the beginning/end. Some were obvious, some were downright dirty.

So yeah, bosses were pretty easy (though I did die a bunch due to dumb stuff but yeah, patterns were easy). Was disappointed in the Final Bowser fight being the exact same as the Cloud fight, which was only hard until I realized the timing of the hit-block-dodge-attack thing in the third phase, and going into the final fight with that knowledge made it a joke. For some reason, I did not expect to Capture Bowser (to be fair it was pretty obvious I just don’t think ahead in these kinds of games), that was fun and the music was nice.

The ending was amusing, Mario about to kiss Peach, Bowser gets up and punches him in the face, then they fight on the moon for her affection with flowers, and she just steals Mario’s ship and leaves them both behind (Mario gets on of course but poor Bowser you gotta like Bowser)

Spent all morning just enjoying the Mushroom Kingdom (ALSO SO HAPPY THE SHOP HAD A WALUIGI COSTUME, “It’s barely used!” was a great description, I’m full on Waluigi from now on except for the Moons that require outfits, before that I was Painter’s Hat+Resort outfit)

also I should go back and finish Mario 64 someday, it’s that game I only played at neighbor’s house because no nintendo consoles until GameCube.

things I didn’t like was a lot of the instant death stuff (which mostly is just me needing to get good but still), the minigame second moons (mostly just painful slog but I guess reasonable), and the awkwardness of the controls. I still don’t know how to move around properly without pressing the wrong button (aka usually ground pounding instead of diving/long jumping), and yeah AHiT has got the whole complicated jumps programmed into me so I keep trying to backflip-throw cap-dive onto it kind of combos and they usually end up being button mashing that almost works but I lose control and they fail (notably my original solution to getting a Moon in Luncheon, where I put two Goombas together, got a Hammer Bro, jumped on the Goombas, jumped out of the Hammer Bro, threw my cap at the wall, jumped on it, and tried reaching the platform above). I almost had it my first try but I jumped the wrong direction and missed the platform, and every future attempt failed (then I realized cannons unlocked and you just shoot yourself over it and land on it)

But yeah, overalll...

Cap Kingdom- Small, but best aesthetic and music, favorite world I think, just wish it had more to it.

Cascade Kingdom- Okay/10. Basic green starting world, not much to say, not a fan of jungle/dinosaur aesthetics personally

Sand Kingdom- Kingdom that got me feeling the game, spent a looot of time exploring it, even though it was just a desert. It had sheep and that was nice, one of the better worlds for sure.

Lake Kingdom- Worst Kingdom in the game, so disappointing after Sand Kingdom. I figured it’d be a half world because of the split path thing, but then Wooded absolutely blew it out of the water (no pun intended), but yeah, tiny, mostly just swimming a small area, and could’ve easily been combined with the other water world.

Wooded Kingdom- One of the better worlds, also had the best music as well in certain sections (not as enjoyable as Cap but still great). Main complaint is that bottom layer of the woods, though I might’ve missed a beat of dialogue that explained it, since I had no idea it was there without a guide (especially since I’ve died several times falling off the side trying to do certain platforming on spinning wheels near the secret garden). I liked the extendo guys though.

Cloud Kingdom- Just a boss world from what I saw.

Lost Kingdom- Hooo boy, this is when it started to get a little frustrating, but not too bad. Caterpillars were fun, probably best capture thing. Too much poison/10, poison is awful and instant death.

Metro Kingdom- Mannn that Sim language. Was enjoyable, definitely a weird aesthetic clash (which is intentionally most of the game but still), and also Mario in a tank in a stormy city under siege is something I never expected from a Mario game. Though it also had my least favorite minigame so far... jump rope. By some miracle I got to 103 and never again.

Snow Kingdom- Small, basic, overworld was nice but average. The racing second round was hell.

Seaside Kingdom- Up there, definitely much better than Lake Kingdom and should’ve been combined with it, but mannn it is just hard to explore all that water and probably the one I used a guide the most with because of how many small missable things I missed (though only three coins, right in the sea in a depression near the volley ball court). Also, volley ball was hell as well, just not as hell as jump rope.

Luncheon Kingdom- this was a painful kingdom. A lot of this was just me “okay I’m done get me out of this pink lava hell hole”, at first it was okay to explore but after the midboss it was ehhh. Also too bright and shiny.

Ruined Kingdom- unexpected/10. Just another boss world, but mann seeing a Skyrim-esque dragon in a Mario game attacking you like the FFIX scene with Kuja against Brahne was definitely a thing. The boss refight just adding ice physics and different shaped lightning that’s hard to avoid on ice was very blehh.

Bowser’s Kingdom- ... completely unexpected/10. Did not expect a Japanese castle setting, but I enjoyed the change of pace and loved how it was still treated as a travel destination in game. Birds were fun but very painful on certain segments with metal bouncing you backwards. Felt like more of a classic 3D Mario world too (or Galaxy/3D World anyway), with the separated platforms and linearity and stuff.

Moon Kingdom- It’s the moon. Pretty bland with empty space jumping, no idea how much I missed on here but I got every Moon on the list up to like, the one on the support beams in the chapel, so yeah. Also the one moon on the cannon is like the one moon I felt was super unfair to find but oh welll, thank you guide.

Mushroom Kingdom- Great throwback level, fun little area with tons to explore, that 2D Mario section with the fading 2D segments can go to hell though- Specifically, that area with the rotating segments because using a control stick to 2D platform and having it alternate between “holding right will keep you moving clockwise” and “stick moves in the direction you’re moving, aka if you’re on the left side, you have to press Up to go right/clockwise”. I’ve died on that more than I should have and it was bluh.

in short Cap is the best and Lake is the worst

also yeah

this game has a Waluigi costume

so far I went back and got all the Moons in Cap (except the Art one) and Cascade, the races I feel are going to be a nightmare soon but yeah. Also worried about how much money grind I might have to do to get all the outfits (they all seem doable since there’s like five pieces left for me to get I think, the Gold/Metal sets and the Skeleton, but the freaking Skeleton outfit is 9999 and that’ll be the thing that kills the completionist in me)

speaking of completionist, no idea how to feel about buying moons or if there’s a limit, but there doesn’t seem to be so hm

ALSO I LOVE HOW PEACH HAS DIFFERENT OUTFITS IN HER JOURNEYS TO THE KINGDOMS, her Cap outfit was fantastic and I hope she’s still there/is able to wear it because it is a very nice outfit good job being fashionable Peach

also I have to wonder still

where is Luigi

is he on the dark(er) side(s) of the Moon

I will find out myself once I collect everything and hit up the dark side segmentss

also once I’m done with everything I’m going to get a friend to co-op with me and see how bad the co-op is because I can’t imagine how it works

[odysseyfashion]

Peach’s swimsuit and yukata were presented together in the artbook, and it makes sense - they both clearly had a design process based more on color layout and pattern design than probably any other character design in the game. 

It's interesting how those first rough designs for each of these are very different from the rest - the frilly swimsuit seems less in-character than the rest of the cute, fun swimwear designs, but I really love that elegant look with the wide sleeves and umbrella and flowers in her hair. It would be perfect for a slick, detailed illustration of Peach on a poster or something, but I see why they iterated the pattern and mask instead when she's just showing up as a character on a screen (often a very small one!).

That first yukata design seems to be the one used in the illustration of Peach traveling with Toad, too, marking them both as earlier in the whole conceptual process, I guess.

There's some really interesting stuff going on in the swimwear design process - it seems like maybe they were trying to hedge a bit on how much of Peach's legs and waist they were willing to show? The silhouette is very similar on all of these designs, even as the hemlines and how covered-up she is diverge a lot. They ended up with the wrap tied so that you can see her bikini bottoms, while most of these designs skew more modest. Most of them also show her with tan calves, which is a cute acknowledgement of how she's been mostly wearing her safari shorts and that pink skirt in other kingdoms. The tan isn't visible in the game, though, or it's too subtle for me to notice.

The polka dots on that one wrap aren't really the Toad hat pattern, and the blue and white flower pattern seems to be unrelated to anything either. That looks like the same flower that's in her hair, but it's not a Rocket Flower or anything else I can identify that's specific to the Mario universe. Maybe these were just placeholders before they found the moon concept we see on the final wrap? There certainly isn't pattern ideation here like we see on her yukata.

The yukata is just... so great. It was surely destined to only ever be used in one kingdom, but they went all-out to make a strong impression. Every idea they had for the fabric pattern and festival mask is great. (By the way, these are the Mario Odyssey costume designs that we have the highest quality official digital images of, courtesy of the official Japanese Mario Odyssey twitter.

In that lineup of concepts, the far left has cheep cheeps (pakupaku) taking the place of a traditional koi pattern. The Mario 3 leaf power-up mask is great, but doesn't seem to have a strong connection to the pattern? Not like the blooper mask we see on some of the others would. I really have a soft spot for that far right design, which is a pattern of "real" cheep cheeps that look like actual carp. It's not quite as good a fit with the classic cartoonish blooper, though!

The mushroom pattern fits together with the mushroom mask to make a very aesthetically pleasing combination, but it's not particularly striking? The pale grey mushroom pattern is very subdued, and the red polka dot is striking but has no connection to Mario, except as a sort of inversion of the white-on-red Toad cap design...

So I think they really made the right call going with the fire flower pattern and boo mask. Both classic Mario designs, not directly connected but not clashing either. The boo is a perfect fit for a festival mask, and the fire flower is especially striking on pale blue. It's interesting that the last sketch before the final character model retains that same paper fan with a blooper on it that we see on a few others - I don't think she can be seen holding a fan in the game.

and no, no one on the design team was paying an inordinate amount of attention to Peach's feet in her platform sandals, why would you even ask that

[bikwin5]

PAPER MARIO COLOR SPLASH REVIEW (NO SPOILERS)

I LIED WHEN I SAID MY NEXT REVIEW WOULD BE OF ZELDA

Paper Mario Color Splash is the next entry of the semi-critically acclaimed Paper Mario series, which is the series where Mario is Paper and he does some wacky things. This game has gained somewhat of a notorious reputation for being kind of a lot like its predecessor, Sticker Star, which gained some rather mixed reception. Considering both that and the fact that Color Splash is launching at the end of the Wii U’s life with the Switch on the horizon, it’s very easy to take potshots at this game. But does it really hold up to its name???

Color Splash’s storyline is not particularly deep, as one would expect from a Mario game. After receiving a letter made out of a toad’s corpse, Mario, Peach and Toad travel to Europe Prism Island to find out everything is ruined and much of the color has been drained from the world. A paint bucket named Huey emerges from the fountain in the center of Port Prisma to help Mario and his friends make the world a more colorful place by collecting the six big paint stars that have been stolen from the fountain. Also Bowser is there, that’s not a spoiler he was in a pre-release trailer anyway.

Like its namesake, Color Splash is all about painting things and restoring colour to Prisma Island. Mario has a new feature to his hammer that lets him paint stuff in the overworld, which is used for puzzles and repainting spots which will drop items like coins and battle cards. Huey also gives him the ability to cut out parts of the world, which is similar to Sticker Star’s power that let you stick and unstick pieces to solve puzzles. Paint is also used in battle, which is where the real meta of the game starts to unfold. lmao get it

The battle system in this game has many similarities to Sticker Star, this game’s predecessor. The general gist of it is that you choose one or more cards from your deck, paint them, and play them. Unpainted cards don’t do a whole lot of damage, so you’re almost always using up paint. Fortunately paint is acquired almost everywhere in the overworld and is dropped by enemies in battle. Mario’s turn is always first, so if you literally play your cards right most normal battles can be cleared in a single turn or two. Unlike Sticker Star, the number of cards Mario can play in one turn is increased by upgrades obtained by progressing through the story. This alone fixes a huge issue I had with the aforementioned game, where extra turns had to be acquired through a silly roulette. Another gripe most people had with Sticker Star is that battles are “pointless”, as enemies dropped nothing of value apart from coins and stickers. In Color Splash, enemies will now drop a number of hammer scraps, which are used to upgrade your paint capacity. As you progress you’ll get more card slots and stronger cards, which makes more paint capacity necessary in the long run. This time around, Mario’s health is upgraded solely from getting big paint stars. Big paint stars also upgrade your preemptive attacks, which can skip battles against weaker enemies.

This game’s battle system has recieved some critcism, and even I have a few gripes with it. One such new addition to the system are enemy cards, which summons an enemy to deal damage and acts as a shield. However, enemy cards can’t be used in boss fights or other important battles, which makes them worthless when a lot of the time you could be dealing more damage with something like a big jump instead. If anything it feels like they exist to make the museum sidequest harder, yes that is a thing in this game too. Things are also back, which are real world objects which mostly serve as visual humor and are kind of too cumbersome to be used in regular fights. New to this game are Thing replicas which can’t be used in puzzles to progress but can be used in battle, which at least gives some justification for using them.

Another big ass complaint I have is to do with visual feedback. Enemies in this game do not have a health bar but rather their health is shown by how much color is drained from them, which fits fairly well with the theme of the game. The problem I have with this is that Mario himself doesn’t show any numbers when doing damage, only enemies do. This isn’t a big issue in the earlier parts of the game when a single jump or hammer will take care of most enemies, but later on it gets harder to approximate by cards alone. Given that there are multiple tiers of cards (worn out, big, etc) and that cards can be painted or unpainted you can’t really figure out the numbers purely from looking at the “health” of enemies. Also the list of cards is a pain to scroll through, why even give me the option to sort them if you’re just going to start on the right side of the list every time!!!!

Now that I’m done whining we can get on to other stuff. The world of Prisma Island is connected via a world map, similar to Sticker Star’s. Unlike SS, the world map is not made of connected “worlds” but rather sections that are similar in color. Paths to new levels are opened by collecting mini paint stars, which denote the “end” of a level. This map is more akin to say, Super Mario World’s. A big downside to this is that levels may have “secret exits” that aren’t hidden at all and simply exist to make you replay a level again. The game honestly could have been done without the need for mini paint stars, but at least the map provides an easy way for fast travel.

The environments on Prisma Island range from sky blue beaches to sunny mountains and violet islands. The environments are nicely detailed and are full of little things along the way, whether it’s an unpainted spot that holds a secret or a toad who has some witty remark to say. Along the way you’ll need to solve many puzzles, some which include cutting out parts of the world and pasting in the notorious Thing cards. A lot of the puzzles in this game are honestly some of the most clever things I have seen in a Paper Mario game, some of them are even reminiscent of more traditional adventure games. They occasionally require some backtracking, but the game is kind enough to give you hints if you need them. Not all of the puzzles are great but it’s a very big step up from Sticker Star, whose puzzles were honestly a load of complete ass. Also I must say the graphics are super duper nice, they’re pretty much exactly what I would have wanted out of a HD Paper Mario game. Everything is so crispy and papery.

A big complaint that I hear a LOT is the lack of diverse characters in this game and I have to agree it’s a strange choice when the rest of the game definitely isn’t lacking in creativity. Huey, the only real new character, isn’t exactly great and his personality feels like a copied and pasted Kersti from Sticker Star. Many other toads, apart from the rescue squads, have no real distinct features apart from the occasional hat or glasses. I don’t know what caused so much segregation in the mushroom kingdom between the events of Super Paper Mario and Sticker Star but the game could stand to give some more significant characters a fresh coat of paint. get it???? get it??????

The game’s soundtrack is much more varied than I expected. Haters of Sticker Star’s jazzy tracks will be only somewhat disappointed, as there are plenty of areas that take on different genres of music, some which even sound like they could be from older Paper Mario games. The unique themes for each boss are especially cool, which is a shame considering how you won’t hear them for long.

Speaking of which, the boss fights in this game are not especially special. Despite some of them having a really cool premise they’re more like Thing puzzles than actual battles, requiring you to figure out the exact strategy to use by using the right Thing at the right time. Boss fights become impossible without the right Things, and otherwise they’re usually too straightforward and easy, making for an uninteresting fight. Fortunately, a friendly toad in Port Prisma can give you a hint on what Thing you need for an upcoming fight or puzzle.

Overall I feel like I can safely say Color Splash felt like a wild ride from beginning to end. Almost every level introduces something new and exciting whether it be a new gameplay mechanic or just something nice and funny. The humour in this game is top notch at some points although those who dislike “silly” dialogue may not be as pleased. There is not a huge amount of side content, the only big things are filling the museum and beating a rock paper scissors minigame a bunch of times. However the levels are full of little secrets here and there and there’s a lot of attention to detail.

Back when Color Splash was announced I seriously had my doubts because of how little of the game they showed. I went into this fearing that it would be just an “ok” game that was kind of boring with only a few good moments, but instead it surpassed my expectations and instead made for an experience that was really enjoyable throughout. I am sorry to the 3 Sticker Star fans out there for frequently bashing that game throughout this review but Color Splash really is a great improvement over its predecessor. There are still a few things holding it back from becoming a truly great game but I would recommend it if you like fun and you are one of the 6 Wii U owners left on earth.

[formalmess]

For Your Entertainment ~ Chapter Five

Summary: Princess Peach visits Luigi to talk.

Warnings: Gore, Character Death, Murder

The screen flickered once more.

Luigi watched with tear-stained eyes, frozen. He could feel Peasley holding him close, trying to calm him, but his senses were numb.

The clip wasn’t over yet, Toadette’s lifeless corpse being released from the shackles upon the wheel. She was dragged away from the view of the screen. Her brother’s head soon followed, casually kicked after her body.

The screen glitched, revealing static and broken images, before finally clicking off to show pitch blackness.

Peasley held his head low out of respect. He paused, shifting to examine Luigi and evaluate his wellbeing. He looked entirely broken, his composure and mind shattered. His face was a pure white.

”Luigi...”

Peasley shook his head, standing up defiantly.

“We’re going to go get help. Right now. Mario and the Princess, we’re going to go get them both. They’ll be able to help us-“

”Peasley...” Luigi’s voice trembled. “I can’t... I don’t...”

”You can stay here. I’ll go get them myself and bring them back here-“

”NO!”

Luigi shrieked as he ran to Peasley, grabbing his arm, pulling him into a desperate embrace. He held onto him like a life preserver, unable to let go as he wept into Peasley’s shoulders, whimpering and sobbing.

”D-Don’t leave me... G-Grambi... n-no... H-He’s g-going to kill me!”

”No. No, he won’t.” Peasley kept his voice firm despite Luigi squeezing the breath out of him. Peasley shifted, moving out of Luigi’s grasp. “He won’t lay a hand on you. I promise you that.”

”But... h-he...”

”Above all else, I’m going to keep you safe. That’s what I promised you. Until my last dying breath, I will do everything in my power to protect you. He won’t hurt you.”

”I d-don’t want you to leave m-me... he... he’ll take you too...” Luigi sniffled, uneven sobs escaping him. “I-I don’t want you to g-go... he’ll... he’ll... f-find you and kill y-“

”Luigi...” Peasley interrupted his husband’s frantic words. “We can’t just sit here and wait it out. As much as I hate to say it, that deranged man knows where we are already. We have to do something, quickly, before he can hurt anyone else.”

Luigi shivered, holding his sides. “I... I don’t want... I don’t...”

Peasley exhaled, walking away from Luigi to turn off the static television. It switched off with a comforting clunk, the nightmarish video vanquished for now. He stood up and pressed a hand to his face, rubbing at his eyes tiredly.

“Luigi... We cannot let this man know we are afraid. We have to stay strong. He has to see he won’t break you over something like this. He’s trying to get back at you, as childish and immature as that sounds. And if we give him no reaction... he... he’ll...” Peasley hesitated. “He’ll leave us alone.”

”But, P-Peasley, I’m scared... You don’t know... w-what he...” Luigi’s voice was hushed, squeezing his eyes shut as tears slipped down his cheeks. “I’m so scared. I’m s-so, so scared... H-He’s supposed to be d-dead...”

”I know... I know it’s frightening. I know. But, it’ll be okay, I promise.”

Luigi nodded, whimpering. Peasley lifted his hand to wipe Luigi’s tears away, holding his face soothingly.

”Hush now.” Peasley whispered with a gentle hum, trying to calm his husband in any way he could. He hugged Luigi warmly. “Everything will be oka-“

There was a harsh knocking at the front door.

Peasley involuntarily released a rather shrill scream, grabbing onto Luigi for protection out of pure shock. After a moment, he coughed nervously and stepped back.

Luigi was frozen, his body visibly shaking.

”W-Wait here, I’ll go...” Peasley cleared his throat, relaxing his shoulders. He tried to control his hurried breathing as he turned away from Luigi.

He walked to the window, pulling back the drawn curtains slowly. He gasped, rushing over to throw open the front door without any signs of hesitation.

For, standing in the doorway, was a crying Princess Peach.

She held a rectangular object in her hands, an all-too-familiar video cassette tape clutched tightly in her grasp.

She sniffled, trying to compose herself.

”Can... C-Can I please talk to Luigi?”

                                          - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Peasley poured a cup of tea for Peach, the group having retreated to the kitchen to talk.

Luigi, through mostly incoherent babbling and mumbles, tried to explain the situation to Peach, telling her everything. The letter, the tapes, the threats... everything.

Peach nodded slowly, listening intently to every word. And once he had told her everything he knew, she began her own explanation.

She had woken that morning to a parcel having been delivered to her quarters, a Toad explaining it was a gift for her. It had been left out in the main hall, the Toad quickly adding on that they didn’t know how it had gotten there.

Inside the box was a tape. And, though it took Peach awhile to find a way to play it, she eventually watched it.

And much to her horror, the tape featured one of her dear friends and subjects being murdered by an old enemy she had previously thought was dead.

And since Mario was out traveling the world with Cappy, she knew she had to get the help of the only other people who knew of Dimentio’s existence, rushing out to Luigi’s manor without a second thought.

She finished her explanation with a deep exhale, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to hold back tears.

”D-Dimentio is... he was supposed to have been locked away in the Underwhere. To rot and suffer.” Peach’s tone was laced with venom. Peasley had never seen her look so upset. “We ended his game-!”

”And you have no idea why he might be doing this?” Peasley inquired. “Or how he might have escaped death?”

”No. No, I... I don’t.” Peach stared up through a lidded gaze, expression exhausted and dull. “Dimentio was never a sane individual... but I-I... I didn’t think he’d be capable of something s-so horrendous...!”

She abruptly forced out a desperate laugh, her laughter dissolving into sobs. 

“He shouldn’t be alive! He shouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else!”

Peasley pushed a box of tissues toward her, sighing as he tried to wipe away the tears forming in his own eyes. He didn’t want to cry in front of her.

Abruptly, Luigi stood, holding his sides. Polterpup followed him with a confused whimper, barking at his owner for attention. Luigi ignored the spectral pup as he left the room, trembling and stifling tears, leaving Peasley alone with Peach.

Peasley wanted to go comfort his husband, but decided against it, realizing Luigi needed some time to himself. 

The prince then tried to console the sobbing princess before him to the best of his ability. She wiped at her eyes after awhile, attempting to calm herself.

”P-Peach,” Peasley ventured carefully. “Pardon my asking, but...” He paused, running his fingers over the smooth porcelain of his teacup. “Who exactly is Dimentio? Why is he tormenting you and Luigi?”

Peach paused and sighed, steadying her breathing.

“Dimentio...” She cringed, the mere thought of his name turning her words of hatred to pure malice. “He was a jester, working for a villain named Count Bleck, who was trying to end all worlds. Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and I all worked together to try and stop his plans.

“And I didn’t realize it at the time... or perhaps I was in denial... but, at one point, we had lost contact with Luigi...

”A-And, during this whole fiasco, Luigi had been taken by Bleck’s crew and brainwashed into believing he was ‘Mr. L’... a minion serving under Count Bleck’s command. When we found him as our Luigi again, it was after Dimentio had seemingly brought his memories back to normal.

”And Dimentio...? He... He appeared to be nothing more than a minion following Bleck’s plans. But, he played us all for fools. When a time of vulnerability came, Dimentio betrayed the Count and...

”He forcefully took control of Luigi’s mind and body, making him do his bidding under the persona of Mr. L... and the two fused with a dark entity to create a terrible monster, intent on destroying all dimensions.

”Mario, Bowser, and I defeated him quickly. Mario hated to see his little brother being used for evil like that...

”A-And, after that, Dimentio was gone. He seemingly... died. Right in front of our eyes. But, n-now... he...” Peach buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know how he survived. I don’t know.”

Peasley nodded, trying to take in all the information. Dimentio certainly sounded like a menace, if what Peach described was accurate.

”So, he blames Luigi for his defeat? That’s why he’s coming after you all...?”

”That letter you mentioned... if t-that’s true, then it means Dimentio is coming after Luigi’s friends and loved ones. He wants them gone.” 

Peach glanced up, her face pale as she came to a startling realization. 

”You two... you two aren’t safe here. He knows where you live. He knows where he can find you. And... if he does, then-“

Peasley nodded, standing. He rubbed at his eyes. “It’s been a thought plaguing my mind.”

”I can get reinforcements.” Peach offered. “I’ve already sent a letter for Mario and Bowser. But, I doubt that Koopa will answer me... he hasn’t even been attempting to kidnap me lately. It’s been about a week since I’ve heard a word from him. It’s a little odd, I must admit. Whenever I don’t want him to show up, he does... and the moment I actually need him, he vanishes! 

”And Mario?”

”No response yet... but, until he does, I’ll inform the Mushroom Kingdom citizens to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity, and inform our allies of Dimentio.”

”But, Peach, will you be safe?”

She nodded. “I mustn’t abandon my people. I’ll stay here and keep watch over each of them. I won’t let the same tragedy happen again. I’ll be sure to keep in frequent contact with you.”

”I’ll have to send a letter to the Beanbean Kingdom... I wouldn’t want to worry Mother at all, though... perhaps Dreambert would be willing to let us stay at Pi’illo Island for a bit. He was saying at the meeting that he’d love to see Luigi again...” 

Peasley quieted gradually, crossing his arms as he strode over to the hallway. “But, you’re right, Peach. We... We aren’t safe here.”

Peasley’s heart sank as he heard the muffled sounds of Luigi crying from the other room. Hundreds of thoughts ran through Peasley’s mind, but he eventually settled upon the most obvious solution.

He had to protect Luigi, no matter what. Above all else. 

They just had to get away.

”Tomorrow, then.” Peasley announced to Peach. “Tomorrow, we leave the Mushroom Kingdom.”