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#it made sense when it kept me up at 2am last week
lynzishell · 2 months
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✨Atlas Stephens - Character Sheet✨
TYSM for the tag @onestormeynight This was so fun! 🫶🏻
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Personal
Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty
Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable
Class or Caste: upper/ middle / working / unsure / other
Education: qualified [computer science degree from Foxbury Institute] / unqualified / studying / other
Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet [I mean technically ig, but nothing serious, just some illegal substances at clubs n stuff like that] / yes, but charges were dismissed
Family
Children: had a child or children / has no children [but he's the best uncle there ever was] / wants children
Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings/ sibling(s) is deceased
Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable
Traits and Tendencies
extroverted / introverted / in between
disorganized / organized / in between
close minded / open-minded / in between
calm / anxious / in between
disagreeable / agreeable / in between
cautious/ reckless / in between
patient / impatient / in between
outspoken / reserved / in between
leader / follower / in between
empathetic / vicious bastard / in between
optimistic / pessimistic / in between
traditional / modern / in between
hard-working / lazy / in between
cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown
loyal / disloyal / unknown
faithful / unfaithful / unknown
Beliefs
Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic
Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious [let's just say his past destroyed any chance of that]
Philosophical: yes / no
Sexuality and Romantic Inclination
Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual
Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless
Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naïve and clueless / romance suspicious
Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious
Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
Abilities
Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
Literacy Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor / none
Artistic Skills: excellent / good/ moderate / poor / none
Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none
Habits
Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic
Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker
Recreational Drugs: never / quit / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict
Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess
Unhealthy Food: never [he's just really not a fan of sweets and stuff tbh] / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater
Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic
Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler
I have no idea who to tag cos I haven't been around as much lately and I don't know who's already done this... so yeah... if you wanna do it, then do it and say I tagged you... and then like, tag me back cos I kinda wanna do this for Ash too... so, really, you'd be doing me a favor 😉🤭💖
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99hook · 9 months
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Chaotic Collaborations
Synopsis: The whirlwind of two polar opposites, a story line and unmistakable tensions in between
Warnings: pining, cursing, injury, depictions of blood, protective!hook, jealous!hook, angst, fluff eventually
A/N: welllll after who knows how long I’ve finally managed to conjure up the sunshine!reader x coldhearted hook fic! This was actually so fun to write I got carried away and it takes a drastic turn lmao I hope you love it babesss, enjoy!
(Takes place during the Hook and Jack rivalry)
(Also this shit is extremely long and I’m finishing it at 2am so bare with me if there’s grammatical errors, I’m sleepy lmao)
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You were originally ecstatic over the shot at your very first story line when Tony pitched the idea to you. You’d been in AEW for a little over a year and had been hoping that you’d get a little more substantial tv time outside of your typical matches sometime soon, so when Tony called you to his office with an idea that was brought up to him, you couldn’t agree quick enough.
That was until the person you’d be doing the storyline with walked through the door.
The coldhearted handsome devil, as he frequently gets called. Someone you were somewhat familiar with due to seeing his matches in the viewing room from time to time, or him sitting alone in catering every so often, typically with a hatred look towards the whole world on his face.
A man you never considered approaching for the simple fact that he gave the impression that he was not to be fucked with, or even smiled at, for that matter. He was the last person you’d expected Tony to bring in.
“Hook, glad you’re here again. I know we’ve already been over this but now that we have your future partner here, I wanted to give you both the rundown. Have a seat.” Tony points to the chair next to you. He steps in, a hoodie over his head shadowing his eyes that glance at you before he silently takes a seat.
He brought a sudden energy to the room with his presence, one that made you feel a tad bit uneasy. Intimidated, more so.
“Y/N, Hook is who I’m pairing you with for this storyline. It’s come to my attention that the two of you are both crowd favorites and apparently a lot of fans want to see you two together. It would be great for the ratings and for both of your character developments.”
You nodded along, wanting to look over at the man next to you to see what he thought of this, though you kept your eyes on Tony. You knew that fans liked to talk about how you and some of the talent should pair up together, and there were a lot of edits on instagram of you and certain wrestlers that they shipped, but Hook was the least of your expectations.
“I’ll be putting you both in a group chat where I’ll send you segment and promo schedules and concepts, so keep your eyes out for that. Next week, during your match with Anna, Jack Perry is going to come out with the FTW title and hand it to her, and that’s when Hook will be coming out after him. The fans will think it’s all part of their feud until he comes to your aid when Anna hits you with the title while Jack and Hook are fighting on the ramp. That’s going to be the start of the entire storyline leading up to a tagteam match between the four of you.”
You listened intently, not wanting to miss a beat of the instruction. The storyline made a lot of sense since you and Anna did have some on screen animosity to begin with, and hook and jack have been at each others throats for some time now, so you could see the relevance to having Hook as your alliance.
“I’ll be sending you both a text soon on more details.” Tony said before he excused you both from his office. Hook silently got out of his chair and headed through the door without sparing you a glance. You weren’t sure if that meant that he was displeased about the storyline or if he just collected the information and went on his way.
You decided to try to talk to him when you both got into the hallway, but quickly wished you would’ve let him keep walking.
“Hey!” You jog up to him, reaching his side. He glanced over at you for a split second before he fixated his sights ahead. He didn’t greet you back, and that alone made you feel a little uneasy, but you still attempted to make conversation.
“I know we’ve never talked before, but since we’re about to do this whole storyline together, I guess I should introduce myself and all.” You managed a nervous chuckle, but he kept a straight face.
“I’m Y/N.” You continued on, feeling your nerves start to get the better of you, which is when you start rambling, usually.
“I mean, obviously you know that now since Tony said it, but, anyway, i just wanted to break the ice a little. This is all pretty new to me. I’ve never done a story line before so-“
That’s when Hook stops in his tracks, turning to face you. His stare was cold and jaw set. He showed no emotion, nothing at all, really. The way he looked straight into your eyes made you immediately shy away from that gaze. Your eyes dropped to the gold cross sitting over his chest similar to the one you had tucked underneath your shirt that you wore as a good luck charm.
You wanted to pull it out and show him that you had one too but something told you he wouldn’t care about that at all.
You glanced back up into his eyes, the ones that were strongly fixated on you, managing to push past the nervousness he made you feel until you heard him say, “Let’s save the talking for the scripts.”
He held his eyes on you for a second longer before he turned on his heel and headed down the hallway. You didn’t bother to follow. It was clear that Hook didn’t care to make conversation with you, and he wanted to make sure you understood that.
———
You were sitting in catering with Skye and Willow, oblivious to their conversation due to the thoughts that kept swirling around in your brain. It had been a week since that very first interaction with Hook and tonight you were going to be starting the whole storyline.
Skye noticed how you barely paid attention to the conversation and decided to ask you what was going on. You had yet to tell them about the storyline since talking to Hook, or attempting to, didn’t go over so well.
“What’s going on with you?” Skye’s voice reached you, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You could’ve said it was nothing to save yourself the conversation but they were going to know about the whole storyline tonight, so you decided to spill it all.
“Tony’s giving me my first storyline.” You say, watching as a smile spreads across both of their faces before the confusion sets in.
“You don’t seem too excited?” Willow commented.
“I mean, I am, but… Well, okay, so you know how Hook and Jack Perry have that whole rivalry going on right now?”
The girls nod slowly, clearly they were still a bit confused.
“And me and Anna have a match tonight, so Jack’s going to come out and hand her the FTW title so she can knock my ass out with it,-“
“So then Hook is going to come out to save you.” Skye figured. “So is it like, an on screen dating kind of thing?”
“I don’t think so. Tony said we’ll end up teaming up against them, so I’m pretty sure it’s just alliances.”
Willow’s lips spread into a smirk before she looked down.
“Are you nervous about it or something? You’re the one who said you wished you’d get your shot at a story line and now you’re talking like you don’t want to do it.” Skye said, but you hardly heard her when the man who’s been racing through your mind came walking through the catering doors.
Willow noticed your eyes immediately finding him, following him as he headed around the perimeter of the room to take his seat in the very back.
“I think she’s nervous.” Willow grinned, clearly with insinuation but that’s when you quickly tore your eyes away from the man in question and back to them.
“No, it’s the fact that I tried to talk to him after we left Tony’s office, y’know, introduce myself and break the ice since we’re going to be working together, and he literally looked me dead in my face and told me to save the talking for the scripts.”
Both of their jaw’s dropped and Willow’s eyes cut over to the man, shooting him a look he didn’t see since he was on his phone.
“That’s fucking rude.” She said.
“Yeah, and we haven’t spoke since.”
“I mean, he kind of does look like that type of guy. He’s always by himself, always looks like someone pissed in his cheerios, maybe he’s just a dick. I’d just stick to the storyline and don’t bother with him outside of that if he’s going to have that kind of an attitude.” Skye says before she grabs her phone and stands up from the table.
“Anyway, I gotta go. I’ll be watching your match from the viewing room tonight though. You’re gonna do amazing.” She smiles before she heads out, leaving you and willow at the table.
“I agree with Skye. Just try to enjoy your first storyline despite his negative attitude.”
You nodded, then your eyes adverted over to the back of the room, for some reason you felt strongly compelled to steal a glance of him, only to find his eyes locked on you.
You felt your stomach twist suddenly and looked away immediately, but you could still feel the powerful gaze he possessed burning a hole through you, and you weren’t sure if that meant you should look back again, maybe try to go talk to him, or leave the room all together.
“Oh my God, he’s staring at me. Don’t you fucking look, Willow. Don’t make it obvious.”
Willow didn’t, but it was clear she wanted to. You could practically feel his dark eyes on you from way across the room, and you couldn’t help the way it made the pace of your heart quicken, out of the sheer nervousness that his presence hasn’t failed to make you feel.
“He’s leaving now.” Willow whispered as her eyes followed him around the room before she dropped them to the table. “He’s gone.”
————
You couldn’t help but to be nervous but you attempted to put it all aside as you clutched you ribs, lying on the canvas after Anna kicked into your side, probably a little harder than she should have. You knew what was coming as soon as Jack’s music hit and he came running down the ramp with the FTW title in hand.
You grabbed Anna’s feet before she could reach him, swiftly making her fall flat against the canvas in an attempt to protect yourself from the inevitable. That’s when Hook’s music hit and a sudden pop from the crowd made your ears ring.
He didn’t run down the ramp like Jack did, but it took him only a few seconds to get his hands on the man. Hook snatched the title and threw it to the floor before he threw a series of punches to Jack’s chest, while you and Anna were throwing punches to each other’s jaws. She was hitting you with a force that felt a little more personal than just entertainment purposes. You wondered if she meant that or not.
She grabbed your wrist and slung you against the turnbuckles, hitting your back so hard you sprung foward and fell to your knees. It was all planned, but you were taking one hell of a beating.
That’s when Hook and Jack had the referee distracted enough for Anna to grab the belt. Just as you were getting on your feet, you felt the impact against the side of your head knocking you down flat, staring up at the bright lights of the arena as she pinned you.
The three count came fast and her music rang through your ears. You laid there like you were dazed and confused and thankfully she didn’t actually hit you with it too hard. You had a little pain but nothing like it would’ve been if she would’ve intended to knock you out cold.
The crowd was booing jack and Anna both, but they roared with cheers when Hook slid under the ropes. You felt a warm hand sneak beneath your shoulder before he helped you sit up. There was no script to go off of so you weren’t sure if anything should’ve been said, but nobody would’ve heard over the thousands of screams piercing your ears.
Taz was on commentary hyping the interaction up for the added affect of the viewers watching on tv.
“I don’t know when those two became friends, but I’ll tell you one thing, Y/N has a good one in her corner. If Hook has your back, you know you’re gonna be alright. Jack and Anna better watch out now boys.”
Hook leaned down and grabbed your hand, pulling you up to your feet. The crowd was absolutely wild, and it was a reaction you really didn’t expect. He silently nodded towards the ramp as he let go of your hand. You walked ahead of him, slipping out of the ropes and making your way towards the tunnels, clutching your side and your head for the added affect.
You looked over your shoulder to find hook close behind, his eyes locked on you the second you spared a glance. Just before you reached the tunnels, you heard his voice, somehow over all the commotion around the arena.
“Wait” he caused you to turn around, now inches apart from you. Your eyes widened when you realized the closeness, before you felt his hand grab yours again and hold it up in the air, turning you towards the crowd that was on the verge of losing their minds.
He pointed at you, nodding as he took in the reactions. You were trying to soak it all in but it all had you confused. Assuming he was really good at selling, you tried to ignore the fact that his harsh words had been running through your mind for the past week, but due to that, you didn’t expect all of this.
He dropped your hand and nodded towards the tunnel, letting you lead the way. As soon as you got away from the chaos in the arena, you turned around to face him. Part of you wanted to ask why he was so rude to you last week but the other part of you was screaming for you not to.
Hook’s brows knitted together when you looked up at him. The last thing you probably should’ve been thinking about was the first one that came to mind simply because your brain did that sometimes.
He was wearing a black hoodie, black pants and looked like the walking depiction of darkness with the way his hair casted over nearly half of his face. Meanwhile you had on all white ring gear coupled with white nails and the comparison must have looked nothing less than polar opposites when you stood side by side.
But then you heard him say, “Are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?”
That’s when you realized you’d just been staring up at him, feeling your cheeks immediately burn beneath your skin when he called you out for it. Hook saw the way your face flushed and a rosy tint dusted over. Then he noticed a gold cross sitting against your chest much like his own. He didn’t comment on it, obviously.
You wanted to redeem yourself but couldn’t muster words at that point and he stared down at you awaiting a response or simply for you to move out of his way, which is exactly what you did.
The second you stepped to the side, he slipped past you, brushing your shoulder on his way down the hall. You stood there with a bit of a dumbfounded look on your face as you watched him leave without sparing you another glance.
———
Another week passed by and again, you and hook hadn’t spoke, but your tagged photos on instagram were nothing but you and him from Dynamite the week prior. It was funny how many fans were going crazy for a duo that was anything but when you weren’t on cameras.
You’d looked down at your phone when it buzzed and a text from Tony came through. You were put in the group chat with a 363 area code and debated whether or not you should save him in your contacts.
The text was the instructions for a segment later on. You and hook were going to be spotted talking in the hallway. He sent the full script and with only an hour to memorize and apologized for the last minute scheduling.
You were typing back when another message popped up. It was from hook, nothing but a short and simple reply saying, “All good” meanwhile you’d typed almost a whole paragraph about how it was okay, don’t apologize and you were going to get to memorizing right now. Needless to say, you deleted that and typed back, “No problem, I’ll have them memorized.”
You then scrolled up the long message, unsure if you could actually sell this with such a short amount of study time. You didn’t want to screw up on live tv.
Your lips moved as you read over the lines. It would’ve been way easier if you could actually rehearse them with someone but clearly hook wasn’t going to be down for that and Skye and Willow both had the night off, which was the reason you were sitting alone in catering.
You tried to focus but you felt that feeling again. Eyes on you, unavailable. He was somewhere in the room and you could feel it. He was staring at you again, and you didn’t even have to find him to be able to tell that.
You couldn’t keep your mind on the script now that you knew you were being watched. You wondered why he was staring in the first place. What was his problem with you after all?
The temptations got the better of you and you finally tore your eyes from your phone, only to find him sitting directly across from you at the next table over. Like you already knew, staring.
He didn’t bother to snatch his gaze off of you. He was shameless about the way he watched you. You couldn’t help it when your nerves grabbed strong hold of you and out blurted, “Are you just gonna sit there and stare?”, loud enough for the people around to hear, earning their attention.
Hook didn’t acknowledge them. He didn’t even blink. Didn’t move a single muscle and that’s when you decided to get up and walk over to him, despite the way his dark eyes made you want to take off running.
You approached his table and took a seat directly across from him. He tilted his head back slightly and crossed his arms over his chest. His brows raised in an expectant manner and you could feel the eyes of talent all around focused on the two of you.
“Why do you keep staring at me?” You called him out the same way he did to you last week in the tunnel. He kept a stoic expression as his eyes dropped down to your phone in hand on top of the table. He decided to avoid your question to ask one of his own.
“You think you can sell that segment later?”
Caught off guard, you felt your brows knit together, looking down at your phone which served as a reminder that you needed to be studying those lines.
“I’m gonna do my best.” You answered honestly, looking back at him. “Are you not going to go over your lines?”
“I already know them.”
“The text just came in like five minutes ago.” You pointed out.
“And I already know them, and yours.” He coolly states before he grabs the bookbag from the seat next to him and stands up. “Don’t mess up.” He says before he tries to leave.
“Wait!” Your voice didn’t do you any favors when it came out a little squeakier than you intended, but it kept him there. “Can you help me go over them?”
He stared down at you, face unreadable as always. There was a pause before he said, “If I didn’t have to get ready for my match, maybe I’d consider.” Then he headed out of catering, leaving you alone at the table.
———
You headed down the hallway where you were supposed to shoot the segment. Hook was already there, leaning against the wall with his phone in hand. He had his ring gear on, a couple red marks on his chest and sweat glistening off his skin. He must have just came back from his match.
Nobody else was around yet. You slowly walked over to him and stood against the opposite wall in front of him. He finished typing something before he picked his head up and looked down at you. You did your best not to spare him a glance as you continued going over your lines.
“It’s a little late to be trying to memorize them now.” You heard him mutter.
“I think I have them memorized, actually.” You look up at him, now leaning back with arms crossed. His hair was absolutely unruly and you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh when you saw it up close. The way it was standing straight up over his head reminded you of Chicken Little.
“What?” His brows knit when he catches your reaction.
“Sorry” you shake your head and wipe the smirk off your face. “It’s your hair.”
“What about my hair?”
“It’s like, standing straight up.” You point out, watching his eyes squint at you.
“It’s hair. It does that.” He deadpanned.
“Mine never does.”
“That’s ‘cause Anna’s always pulling yours out.” He bantered back, and for the first time you thought maybe you saw his lips tip up in a smirk, but as soon as you caught it, he wiped it away.
“She is not always pulling it out. That was one time. And that was so long ago, how do you even know that?”
Silence suddenly filled the hallway. He didn’t have an answer for that and thankfully for him, the cameraman made his way around the corner just in time.
“Alright, ready?” He calls out to the both of you. You take one more quick glance at your phone before shoving it in your pocket and taking in a deep breath.
Hook pushed himself off the wall and whispered, “Don’t mess up.” Before he stood behind you, close enough that when you turned around, you had to put a little space between you.
“Action.”
“Y/N.” Hook suddenly spoke. “You can’t let anyone walk all over you in this company. It’s time for you to take control. You need to start fighting fire with fire.”
He was right when he said he had his parts memorized. It was so effortless to him. He went from one persona to the next in a matter of seconds.
You tried to hide the surprise on your face and snap into character. He eyed you skeptically, you could clearly tell he was expecting you to mess up.
“I don’t want to play dirty, Hook. That’s gonna be my karma when it comes back to bite me.” First line down, you didn’t think it was too bad.
“Or maybe Anna Jay and Jack Perry’s karma is us. Did you ever think about that?” He raised his voice and took a step foward unexpectedly, backing you against the wall. You were suddenly flustered but knew you had to force that away.
“Jack knocked me out with the same title Anna hit you with. My FTW title. They’re cornering you and you’re allowing it! What’s gonna happen when you’re in the hospital with a concussion next time and I can’t save you?”
His chest started heaving as hot breaths fanned against your skin. He was way too good at this.
“What do you want me to do, Hook? You want me to be evil like they are? That’s not me!”
A second passed and you saw the way his eyes dropped down to some other part of your face, suddenly making you self conscious about whatever caught his attention. Then, he leaned in even closer, his chest brushing against yours when he inhaled.
“If you’re gonna be with me, you have to be tougher than this. That sweet, innocent personality of yours isn’t going to get us anywhere, and I’m not gonna stand by while you let yourself get assaulted every week. It’s time to start fighting back, Y/N.”
Half of that line, you didn’t recall memorizing. It threw you off a little bit, and thanks to that, you couldn’t remember your final line. You suddenly got anxious, mouth falling open with no words coming out. Hook picked up on this, not letting too much time pass before he tried to jog your memory.
“You don’t have anything to say? You’re okay with these people tormenting us? You want them to take everything from us?”
You hoped he could hear you silently thanking him. You knew that wasn’t a line but he kept it going for the sake of embarrassing yourself.
“If you want me to fight back, then let me do it my way.” You recited, shooting him your best glare for the dramatics. “I’m not turning cold for you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t beat her ass so bad she’ll wish she never stepped foot in a ring with me.”
His lips turned upwards in the faintest hint of a smirk and this time you were certain on it before he quickly brought that straight face back for the camera and nodded his head saying his last line.
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“Cut”
The camera man left you and hook in the hallway. As soon as the camera wasn’t on you an enormous weight was lifted off of your shoulders, finally able to take a deep breath, but the air around quickly got suffocating all over again.
Hook didn’t move. He was still standing close enough to you that you felt pinned to the wall. He held those infamously dark eyes on you for a moment, studying you. In his mind, he didn’t see the value of having you as a partner. He couldn’t understand why he got paired with someone who looks like they’d cry the minute someone raised their voice.
You just appeared to him as a sweet, innocent person and not in the way that he intended for it to be a compliment. Sweet and innocent wasn’t his thing. He needed someone just as coldhearted and vengeful as him.
Nevertheless, he was with you now until this storyline ends and his dad told him during a conversation they had a few days prior, that he needs to look at things a little bit differently. Taz seemed to think that he needed someone like you by his side. The coldhearted handsome devil needed a conscious and in his dad’s mind, a babyface with the reputation of being a walking ray of sunshine was the angel on Hook’s shoulder.
He carefully considered his dad’s perspective, but then aroused ideas of his own. A concept that he pitched to Tony that you had no idea what was coming. Plans to take your squeaky clean image and transform it into something greater, something more complimentary to himself.
You eyed him, swallowing past a thick lump accumulating in your throat before you managed to speak in a voice almost weary.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
Hook’s head tilted to the side, as if he was intrigued by the simple question. Your wide eyes reminded him of a skittish puppy ready to bolt, and he was surprised you haven’t yet.
“I thought you had your lines memorized?” He countered your question.
“I did, until you decided to improvise.” You quickly blurted, feeling like you exaggerated that defense. His brows raised slightly from beneath the thick hair against his forehead before he took a step back, putting space between you for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
“See you next week.” He muttered before he disappeared around the corner.
———
Two nights later, as you got cozy in bed, just about to doze off, your phone buzzed with a text from that same area code you recognized as Hook.
“been talking to my dad. you need to learn redrum. im in the hotel gym”
You glanced at the time, nearly baffled when you realized it was one-thirty in the morning. You texted back a quick reply.
“Right now? This can’t wait until tomorrow? And why do I need to learn your moves? I have moves of my own.”
You stared at the message until the delivered turned into read at 1:32 and locked your phone until he texted back.
“im going to bed at 2”
You stared at that simple little message and knew it was basically him not giving much of an option. You huffed as you slid out of bed, never minding to change out of your sweatpants or do anything with yourself for that matter. It was almost two in the morning. You should be asleep.
The elevators brought you down to the first floor. You headed across the lobby towards the gym. You could hear the sound of a punching bag being hit three times each even through the closed door.
You walked in, to your surprise finding Hook and Taz both. Taz was keeping the punching bag steady while Hook threw his fists into it, but that came to an abrupt halt when taz spotted you first.
“Ah, there she is.” His voice echoed through the empty room. “Didn’t think you’d actually show.” He chuckled, turning to his son. “Tyler and I have been talking about that upcoming tagteam match between you and the goofballs, we think if the crowd saw a double redrum they’d go nuts.”
You glanced at hook, now with the new knowledge that his name was actually Tyler, and for some reason that’s all that registered in that moment. He was looking at his dad, not even sparing a glance in your direction until Taz gave him a strong pat on his bare back and said, “I’ll leave you to it son. Your mother’s waiting for me.”
You held the door open to let him through, offering a faint smile. Taz stopped before he left the room, looking over his shoulder at his son, “Polite too” he commented, and you weren’t sure what that was supposed to mean but didn’t ask either. “Don’t hurt him too bad.” He muttered with an amused grin before he headed out.
You closed the door and stepped a little farther in the room. Taz seemed to have taken that lighthearted energy with him when he left because once again, the air was thick. It felt hot and heavy in your lungs and it made no sense to you why that was always the case when you were around him.
He stood at the front of the room with his hands on his hips. He looked like he’d been at it for hours what with the way his cheeks were bright red and sweat was covering every visible inch of his body, and drenching his hair.
“Do you always work out at two in the morning?” You asked as you drew a little closer, feeling like you were physically walking on eggshells.
“I go to sleep at two.” He replied, rather breathlessly. His eyes adverted down to your t-shirt and sweats, and the fuzzy slippers you put on before you left the hotel room. “Apparently you do too.”
“I was almost asleep when you texted.” You defended yourself and your cozy loungewear. “I’m not going to throw on a whole outfit just to come down to the gym.”
“Real shoes either.” He countered.
You looked down at the slippers and then back up at him. “They’re comfy. I don’t care.”
“Clearly.” He nodded. “Doesn’t matter. You familiar with any of my moves at all?”
You could’ve told him that you’d watched some of his matches in the viewing room before but something told you that he would think you were weird for that, so you simply shrugged and said, “kind of, not really.”
The way he eyed you made you think he knew you were lying.
“Never seen me do redrum?” He questioned, raising his brows.
“Maybe like one time.” You lied again, and that’s when his eyes narrowed, as if he was reading right through the bullshit.
He pushed his hair back and let his hand fall to his side with a smack to his hip before he stepped away from the punching bag and over to a bench, grabbing an almost empty water bottle and chugging the rest.
He crumbled the plastic before tossing it in the trash can halfway across the room and walking back over. He stood in front of you. It seemed to you like the man didn’t know the definition of personal space.
“Are you familiar with a half nelson at least?”
You shot him a questionable look, feeling the sarcasm dripping from his question.
“Pretty sure everyone is.” You crossed your arms, deadpanning on him in an attempt to dish it right back. His lips fold in and that’s when you couldn’t help but notice a dimple on his right cheek.
“Alright then-“ he held his arms out to his sides. “Put me in one.”
You shot him another look, wondering if that was a serious request or not. He stared at you, clearly waiting. It didn’t seem probable since the man towered over you.
“How do I do that when you’re like, six foot tall?” You asked, holding your own arms out. “I’m obviously too short to reach.”
“Size doesn’t matter. It’s the way you utilize your body. Anna’s taller than you, how do you expect to put her in a choke? Wait for her to get down?”
“I wasn’t planning to until you said I needed to learn your moves. I have a couple of my own.”
“And clearly they don’t work too well.” He counters comebacks quickly, you realize.
“If you can’t reach, use your legs first.” He instructed, suddenly having a more serious edge to his voice. “If that means you have to jump on their back, then do that. I’ve had to a time or two.” He shrugged before he waved you foward.
You dropped your arms and eyed him skeptically. An uneasy feeling was trying to take over simply because the thought of wrestling around with a man twice your size didn’t seem like the smartest idea.
“You’re not gonna sling me over your shoulder or something, are you?”
You caught the brief flash of confusion that crossed through his eyes before they returned to that cold stare he perfected.
“No, Y/N.” He huffed in annoyance. “I’m not gonna do anything but let you take me down. I’m gonna fall foward though, not back, so if you go flying off of me that’s on you.”
In his mind he was wondering why you were so apprehensive about this. Did you really think he was going to hurt you? He might not be all that friendly but he didn’t have intentions to harm you. Either way, he pushed past those thoughts and focused on the task at hand.
You nodded in understanding before you circled around him, taking a step back for more momentum when you sprung foward. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, knees locking in underneath his ribs and you heard a low grunt reverberate through his throat.
“Am I hurting you?” You loosened your legs but felt his hands grab them, keeping you wrapped tightly around him.
“Nope, always keep your legs tight. I’m good. Lock it in.”
You did as you were told, snaking one arm beneath his jaw and the other under his arm, bringing it up and pushing his head down until you felt him falling foward with a low, “Fuck” beneath his breath.
You held on tight as his knees hit the floor and he tapped on your arm quickly. You unwrapped yourself and stood back up, offering your hand to help him to his feet, but he ignored it.
“Was that right?” You asked, feeling somewhat prideful about the way you just brought a six foot tall, two hundred pound man down to his knees with his own finisher.
He nodded, rubbing his neck. “Yeah, that was right.” He cleared his throat. He then eyed you with a somewhat unreadable look on his face, eyes slightly narrowed.
“What?” You asked.
“You’ve never seen that before?” He resorted back to his previous question from earlier.
“I told you I have once.” You reminded him, but again, human lie detector comes out of him and it was evident.
“Most people don’t get it right the first time after seeing me do it more than once.”
“Well I did.” You shrugged, watching as he peered those eyes at you, reading straight through the bullshit once more just to hum in response.
“Not very believable but alright.” He muttered before he walked over to the bench and sat down, grabbing his hoodie and tossing it over his shoulder. You felt your clothes sticking to your body with sweat that wasn’t your own and peeled the fabric from your skin, just for it to stick right back.
Hook noticed this. “You got a little sweat on you.” He comments obviously.
“Do I? I didn’t notice.” You sarcastically replied, and another unreadable expression played on his face, one that had you wondering what he was thinking, but you didn’t ask. It returned back to that blank, emotionless look moments after.
“I have a match Wednesday.” He said as he ran his hand through his unruly hair. “You should probably be ringside.”
“Did Tony say that? I haven’t heard anything.”
“I’m saying that.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, looking up at you. Your mouth clamped shut with that response. He clearly saw the mixed reaction playing on your face and made it a point to clarify.
“The more we’re together, the more we’ll sell.”
But something told you otherwise and you weren’t sure what. Something was nagging at you about his actual motives. If you remember correctly, he didn’t seem too pleased about being paired up with you to begin with.
“I didn’t think you cared so much about this storyline.” You tested. “You seemed really unhappy about it when we were in Tony’s office. And after, especially.” You referred to the first little conversation, or lack there of, in the hallway.
He looked down at his knuckles and a few scars on them before he looked back up at you.
“If we have to do it, I want to at least make it good.” He said, ignoring basically everything you just said. “That means we need to sell it. So we need to be seen together a lot more. Nobody’s gonna believe it if we’re only shot on segments and nowhere else.”
You nodded, understanding that fact.
“So when I have a match, you be there. When you have a match, I’ll be there.” He then stood up and threw on the black hoodie you always saw him wear at work before he walked past you, muttering a low, “see you Wednesday” under his breath before the gym doors shut behind him.
———
“Sounds like he wants to fuck you.” Willow bluntly stated after you told her and Skye all about what’s been going on lately. You felt your cheeks practically burn your skin but looked away in an attempt to hide it.
“Agreed.” Skye adds in. “Looks like someone’s not so coldhearted after all.”
“No, he definitely is.” You affirm with a quick nod. “He’s just good at selling a storyline. He’s a different person on camera than he is elsewhere.”
“He looks pretty angry all the time to me. On camera and every time I pass his grumpy ass in the halls” Willow chuckled and you couldn’t help but do the same. “And if he’s trying to sell the story purely, I don’t think he’d bother getting you down to the gym at almost two in the morning.”
“Well it was to teach me his finisher for when we have that tagteam match.” You justified, but they didn’t buy it.
“That could’ve waited for a day time hour, Y/N.” Skye tried to convince you, but there was no use in that. You looked at the time and realized his match was starting soon. You got up from the seat, thankful for an excuse to leave the conversation.
“I’m needed ringside.” You tell them, noting the smirks on their face before you left.
Hook was already in the gorilla waiting for his music to hit when you finally got there. His back was turned and head hung as he pushed himself back and to against the bars.
“Hey.” You breathlessly said, due to nearly racing to be in time. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder as he kept doing what looked to you like mid air push ups, assuming it was just something he did to get amped up.
His eyes adverted down to your shirt. You didn’t have a match tonight so you didn’t bother throwing on your ring gear. He was wearing all black this time, and you were wearing a bright yellow top and black shorts.
“Hey sunshine.” He said with a condescending, mocking tone as he eyed your apparel.
“Sunshine? Why? Because of my shirt?” You asked. “Was I supposed to match you or something?”
He shook his head and dropped it, exposing that dimple again. He pushed himself off the rails to stand up straight, looking down at you rather dramatically with the way he dropped his head.
“I didn’t say anything about your clothes.”
“You insinuated by the way you looked at my yellow shirt, then called me sunshine.” You pointed out, watching an amused grin spread across his lips before he dropped his head to cover it. You know you weren’t mistaking.
It was then that his music hit and the pop of the arena was already ringing your ears. He headed through the tunnel and you followed, unsure what you were actually supposed to do now that you were here.
The crowd went crazy when hook came out, but nearly insane when you popped out right behind him. He stopped at the top of the ramp to look amongst the sea of faces, and you endured it all next to him. You turned to look at him, only to find him staring down at you.
He nodded towards the ring, signaling for you to take the lead, so you did. On commentary once again, Taz was hyping it up for the viewers at home.
“That’s hook right there folks. The coldhearted handsome devil. He’s being accompanied by one of AEW’s crowd favorites, Y/N for this match. These two have been joined at the hip ever since Anna Jay knocked her upside the head with the FTW title. They’ve got each others backs, I’ll tell you that much.”
If you could hear commentary it would probably make you laugh just how much his dad sells the storyline.
You stopped at the end of the ramp and waited for hook to walk down. He stopped next to you for a moment, the cameraman panning in on the two of you taking in the crowd reactions before he nodded towards where you would be standing, signaling for you to take your place while he rounds the ring.
When the bell rings and the match gets started, you watch on from where you stood leaning against the canvas. You’ve seen a few of his matches but never up close. It was clear exactly why he was favored in this industry. His quickness and agility was otherworldly. He was fast thinking and cleverly destructive.
He made quick work of getting his opponent down. It had only taken about three and a half minutes and the redrum was locked in, and seconds after, his music boomed through the arena.
You clapped genuinely, watching as he got to his feet and slipped out the ring on your side. He nodded towards the tunnels and by this point you already knew to take the lead while he walks behind you. No idea why he prefers it that way, but you didn’t question.
When you reached the stage, you stopped and turned to face the crowd. He got up next to you and looked at you questionably when you grabbed his wrist, even though he already knew what you were going to do.
You raised his hand in the air and listened to the crowd explode. The pop was unlike anything you’d witnessed yourself, and it was doing a pretty good job at bringing your confidence level way up.
“Probably one of AEW’s most unlikely duos. The coldhearted handsome devil and Y/N look like night and day standing next to each other.” Excalibur mentions on commentary.
“Their appearances may be complete opposites but don’t let that fool you my guy. These two are a force to be reckoned with.” Taz adds.
You get halfway through the tunnel when you look over your shoulder to find hook trailing closely behind you.
“Good job.” You smile at him, though he doesn’t return the smile back. You didn’t expect him to, anyway. He hummed in response and dropped his head, ruffling his hair.
Just then, a text came through to your phone. You pulled it out of your pocket and read the group chat message.
“It’s Tony.” You tell hook. “He said me being ringside was a nice touch for whoever’s idea that was. Want me to tell him it was yours?”
“Nah.” He shortly replied. “Did he say anything else?” He asked, seeming a little curious.
“No.” You told him, watching as he nods once. “What do you think we’ll be doing next? Another segment? When even is this tagteam match happening?”
“Ask him.” He mutters.
He wasn’t saying much all of the sudden which confused you. It was like he retreated into a shell after he decided he didn’t like the outside world for the two minutes he experienced it.
“Are you tired?” You asked, noticing the questioning glance he gave you.
“No?”
“Oh. You sound tired.” You added as you headed down the hall with him, unsure where you were actually going since you just got caught up in talking to him.
“Not tired” he sighed, giving you the impression that he didn’t want to talk at all anymore. Or maybe he never even did in the first place.
“Alright well, I’ll see you next week then.” Your voice was far weaker than his was. He slowed down but didn’t stop, muttering “alright” before he kept walking down the hallway, leaving you standing in the middle of it for what felt like the hundredth time watching him leave.
———
A text from Tony came through two days later. It was a graph with the ratings for Wednesday night’s show and apparently the interactions with you and Hook brought a lot of attention on.
You were typing a reply when another message came through. It was next weeks plans for the two of you. Reading over it, you couldn’t help but to be confused. Apparently you were supposed to interfere in one of Anna’s matches that Jack was going to be standing ringside for. This time, you were going to be the one using the belt against her after hook takes it from jack.
Sounded like heel work in your opinion.
You didn’t reply due to the fact that you weren’t sure what to say, but hook did. His message came through a few minutes after the text was sent and was nothing but a simple okay emoji.
That night, you received a text from hook. It was short and simple like all the other ones had been.
“you own any black clothes?”
You felt like you could feel the sarcasm through the screen. What kind of question was that?
“Why?” You replied, not having much time to close your phone before another one came through.
“so we can match”
You understood the reasoning but weren’t super thrilled about black of all colors.
“Do you own anything other than black clothes?” You retorted. This time there was a pause between messages.
“what color do you want to wear, y/n” if you were standing in front of him having this conversation you just knew he’d have that bored look on his face. You thought for a minute about a reasonable color. Then decided on one he probably would glare at you for.
“Got anything yellow?” You grinned to yourself knowing that he was probably going to roll his eyes at that one.
“no.”
“Fine… Blue?”
“no.”
“Red?”
“no. wear black wednesday”
You stared down at that message for a moment debating on what to say back. You looked across the room at your suitcase overflowing with clothes but you already knew the only article of clothing you brought with you that was all black was a dress you wore to go out in. Nothing reasonable for the show.
“I don’t have anything black suitable for tv.”
“how would something not be suitable? just wear it”
You sighed deeply as you walked over to your suitcase and pulled out the dress that you only wore once simply because it rode up way too high all night long. You threw it on the bed and snapped a picture, sending it to him.
“This is it and I’m not wearing it.”
There was a couple moments that passed before you received a message back.
“i don’t see the issue”
“It’s revealing.”
“so is your ring gear but you still wear it?” You stared at that message wondering why you were standing in the middle of the room arguing with that man right now. And still, you continue to do so.
“That’s ring gear. That’s different.”
This time, a good five minutes pass by before he replies. You had just tossed your phone on the bed when you figured he was done texting only to grab it almost as quickly as you tossed it when your phone buzzed again.
“ill bring one of my hoodies then”
On the other end of the phone, Tyler was sitting at a restaurant table with his dad going over the next couple of weeks.
Taz was the one who told him that the two of you should match and it would probably do good at winning over the crowd and the viewers, but he was thinking more along the lines of his son wearing something other than the typical black attire he exhausts.
“It’s funny seeing you two up on that stage” taz chuckles as he digs his fork into his pasta. “You’re like the moon and she’s the sun, for now at least”
Tyler’s eyes lifted from his phone. He was staring at the three little dots while he awaited your response. He said he’d bring you one of his hoodies and for some reason he was apprehensive about sending that message. It felt like odd territory to him to be letting you wear his clothes, but apparently all you had was a little black dress you didn’t feel comfortable wearing.
“And I’ll tell you another thing, when you two team up in that ring, the fans are gonna lose their freakin’ minds”
Just then, a text came through and for some reason a slight smile landed on tyler’s lips, until his dad called it out.
“Who’s that?” He questioned, trying to lean foward to steal a glance at his son’s phone. He was quick to lock it and stuff it in his pocket.
“Y/N.” He muttered before he dug his own fork into his food.
“Have you talked to her about the turn yet?” Taz asked, and Tyler froze for a second.
“Nah, not yet.”
“She doesn’t know?” He questioned, looking a bit taken back. “What does she think the plans for you two are? You have to tell her, son.”
“I’m pretty sure she’ll figure it out on her own.” He grumbled, leaning back in his seat and dropping the fork against his plate.
“Tyler” taz shot him a look, “It was your idea. You need to be the one to tell her straight.”
And it was his idea. He approached Tony shortly after he left you in the hallway that first time the two of you talked, and pitched the idea that you should have a heel run by his side. Tony wasn’t apprehensive at all. To him, and to Hook, the idea of an America’s Sweetheart type of personality completely doing a 180 with the coldhearted handsome devil was golden.
It was just that he told Tony that he’d talk to you about it and never did. Plans had changed from the originality of the first idea and you had no clue about it.
“What’s gonna happen when she’s supposed to go out in front of thousands of people as a heel, and she’s thinking she’s still this babyface character?” Taz reasons, making Tyler drop his eyes to the table.
“She needs time to prepare. It’s not easy going a complete 180 son. Especially not if you wait until last minute to tell her.”
He retrieved his phone from his pocket and read your message back.
“Thank you” was all you said. His thumbs hovered over the screen before he finally managed a response. It was hard to put it into words for some reason and when he realized what it sounded like, he had to send a double text for clarification.
“can you come to my room later”
“to talk. it’s kinda important”
———
Later meant way later than you expected when Hook sent you the text letting you know what room number he was in at midnight.
Regardless of how tired you were, you were way more anxious than anything to figure out what was so important. You reached room 235 and knocked on his door. You heard some shuffling around before he opened it, hair even messier than usual and eyes low, like he was on the verge of passing out himself.
He stepped back and waved you in. You walked in and eyed him as he walked around you. He didn’t sit down anywhere and you didn’t make yourself comfy either. This was awkward. Probably the most awkward encounter you’ve had with him yet.
Truth was that he was a little nervous. He didn’t know how you were going to take the fact that this entire time, you were working on a heel turn without even knowing it. And he was the one behind it all.
He looked down at you, leaning against the wall as he contemplated the best way to go about the conversation. He never really got nervous about anything so this was fairly new and rather uncomfortable for him.
“Did you get that message from Tony about Wednesday?” He started off by asking, and you slowly nodded. You eyed him, trying to read an unreadable man.
“What did you think about it?” He was doing a good job at reading you though. Wasn’t hard since you had a tendency to wear your emotions on your face. He could tell you were skeptical of him in that moment by the way you stared at him solely. He’s seen that look from you a couple dozen times already and the only other one he can recognize that easily is the look you give when he makes a smart comment to you.
“You mean about me using the title to hit Anna? It sounded like heel work to me.” You told him, watching as he nodded.
“Cause it is.”
You blinked twice. “I’m not a heel.”
“I talked to Tony about this storyline a while back. We agreed it’s a better idea if you have a heel run with me.”
You stared up at him, a bit lost. The original idea was for the babyfaces to win in the end, since jack and Anna were already heels. Now it turns out that you had a whole new character transition coming you didn’t even know about in the first place and frankly, you were unsure how to feel.
“Wait so this whole time I’ve been working on turning heel? And you knew that and didn’t tell me?” You peered your eyes at him, glaring. “Why not?”
“Never had the chance, I guess.” He shrugged.
“Never had the chance?” You felt your eyes form into small slits. “You had plenty. How come you got to decide what I do with my gimmick and I didn’t even get the chance to give my opinion?”
Just then, a voice popped into his head, belonging to his dad. Women don’t like when you lie to them, son.
He didn’t intend to lie. It just happened that way. He kind of assumed you’d catch on with the whole heel turn thing and not ask questions but now that he knows you a little better, he knows better than that.
“Your goody two shoes persona wasn’t working well for you anyway, Y/N. We knew it wouldn’t sell for a storyline like this so we came up with something better. If Tony pitched the idea you wouldn’t be getting all fired up at him”
“It’s not the fact that I’ll be turning heel, it’s the fact that nobody told me. Especially you.” You pointed out. You weren’t even mad about the new plans. You would’ve agreed to it anyway if that was the first idea Tony pitched, but you were walking around with no idea what was coming for you and that alone made you more nervous than you needed to be.
“Maybe you didn’t realize, but this is my very first storyline. The last thing I want to do is blow my chance at another one and I’ve been going around absolutely oblivious to the fact that I’m expected to do a whole heel turn in who knows how soon, and you just let me look stupid when you were the one who unrightfully came up with the idea in the first place!”
You rarely yelled at people and he rarely ever got yelled at. It was heightening the tensions between both of you and he expected as much, but didn’t foresee you chewing him out this bad.
“You’re not going around looking stupid! Tony gives you the rundown every week. You know what’s coming and if you didn’t by now you would’ve figured it out.”
You were somewhat baffled by his defensiveness. There was no true justification to what he omitted and he probably knew that full well and just didn’t want to admit he was wrong.
“Yeah, like last minute!” You shout, not meaning to be as loud as you were but you couldn’t help it. “This means something to me, Tyler!”
The use of his name took him back a little and you didn’t mean for that to slip in the first place but for some reason Hook wasn’t the first name to come out in that moment.
Just then, there was a knock on his door that caught both of your attentions.
“Go away” he shouted, but that’s when his dad’s voice reached both of you.
“Open the door, son.”
He rolled his eyes as he walked over. Opening the door and taking a step back so taz could walk in. It was strange to see him wearing pajamas but you ignored that.
“I can hear you two across the hall. What is going on in here?”
Tyler looked at you for a second before he looked back at his dad. “She’s not happy about the heel run.”
“No-“ you stepped forward, correcting him. “I’m not happy about being lied to.”
Taz gave his son a look. A stern I told you so kind of glance.
“Alright” taz held his hands up, “I get that, Y/N. I told this man that he needed to let you know what was going on and not at the very last minute. He doesn’t listen to nobody but himself and half the time that steers him wrong.”
“Clearly.” You huffed out, crossing your arms.
He turned to Tyler and shrugged. “This one’s on you bud. Make it right but keep it down. We don’t need to draw attention.”
You nodded and taz made his way back out, leaving you and Tyler alone once again. He dropped his head and ran his hands through his hair, thinking.
“I’m not happy about this.” You state.
“Couldn’t tell.” He muttered under his breath. The fact that he had the audacity to be sarcastic was mind blowing to you. It made you actually want to scream at him but the last thing you wanted was Taz to come back and give you both some sort of lecture or something.
Tyler picked his head up, tired eyes landing on you. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. It was a half ass apology but the only one he’d ever given. He never really cared to give anyone that type of respect, or what he thinks is respect in his mind.
“There was no reason why you kept it from me.” You remind him, watching him nod.
“I know.” He sighed.
“And I have a right to be mad right now because my whole entire image is about to change dramatically and I haven’t even been prepared for it.”
“Yeah, but you’re not doing it all on your own. You’re doing it with me. I’m turning too.”
“Yeah, but you had time to prepare for that.” You pointedly state. “How much time do I have? Literally I’m about to start at the next show and I didn’t even realize it.”
“It’s not something you really have to prepare for, Y/N. You just go out there and put on a show. It’s not much different than what we do right now.” He walked around you and made his way to the bed, sitting down on the edge.
“It’s different for me. I’m not mean in general. I need to practice.”
You watched a weird look cross over his face, bringing his lips up in a faint smirk. “You’re not mean?” He quirked a brow. “Not even a little bit?”
“No?” You shrugged.
You heard a low chuckle before he looked down at his phone in hand. You sighed when you realized that this conversation was probably going nowhere fast and the best thing you could do was accept the reality of the situation and work with what you’re dealing with.
“Since you seem to think it’s easy becoming a whole different person, tell me where to start.” You plopped down on the chair awkwardly positioned halfway across the room. His eyes lifted from his phone before he tossed it to the side.
“It’s just acting, Y/N. It’s not like you’re becoming a different person all together. It’s literally one day out of the week that you put on a tough face and sell a gimmick. There’s nothing complicated about it. You’re complicating it yourself.”
You glared at him and the annoyance that was so evident in his tone. He sighed and leaned back on his hands, his eyes lowering by the second.
“I guess just start acting like you hate the world. Go out there and give everyone the biggest eat shit look. Be a little more aggressive in the ring and more no fucks given outside of it.” He advised, watching you nod before you stood up from the chair.
“So basically, be more like you.” You pointed out. Before he could respond to that, you held up your hand to silence him. “Got it.” You said before you left his room.
———
“Doesn’t make sense why he didn’t tell you.” Skye says as you and her head down the hall towards catering. “It’s literally your gimmick changing.”
“I know.” You roll your eyes. You were sick and tired of thinking on it. At this point you’d decided to stop wishing you would’ve known beforehand, since clearly there was no changing that, and take the bull by the horns.
Even though Tyler told you that nothing really changes, everything was about to. Your persona, your ring gear, especially your attitude. You had a lot of winning over to do and you were determined to use this transformation to the best of your ability. No matter how bitter you might feel about the fact that he kept the whole thing from you for weeks.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna be a good heel. I’ve been thinking about all of it. I have tons of ideas and I’m starting to actually get excited about it.” You told her, rounding the corner.
“Speak of the devil.” Skye muttered. “Want me to wait up for you or are you good?”
“I’m good.” You nod as you watch him slowly approach with a black hoodie on and one draped across his shoulder.
He got a look from Skye as she passed by but he didn’t pay attention. He pulled that hoodie off of his shoulder and handed it to you wordlessly. You eyed him as you took it from his hand and threw it over your own shoulder. You hadn’t spoke since that night in his room and he’d been meaning to ask you if you were still mad but never ended up doing so.
The look you were giving him was telling him the answer is definitely yes, you’re still mad.
“I’m going out tomorrow to get some different clothes for my heel era so Ill give this back to you after we’re done tonight.”
“Alright.” He nodded, watching as you pull the hoodie off and hold it up to see it better. Clearly it was going to swallow you whole.
“This might as well be a baggy dress on me.” You pointed out as you held it against your body, showing that it falls nearly to your knees. He noticed the same thing.
“You can cut it if you need to.” He shrugged. “To make it fit decently.”
Your brows knitted together as you looked back up at him. “If I’m giving it back why would I cut it?”
He shrugged again, looking down at the large hoodie covering you whole.
“You can keep it. I don’t really care. Might need to match again sometime later.”
For some reason he was being nice and it was strange to you. You’d chalked it up to the fact that he feels guilty for lying to you. As he should. You tossed the hoodie back over your shoulder.
“I’ll deal with it. You can have it back later.” You say before you brush past him and head down to catering to meet up with Skye.
“What happened?” She asked when you took a seat. Her eyes adverted to your shoulder. “Is that his hoodie he was just wearing?!” You could see the thoughts rolling around in her mind and quickly shut them down. You slung the hoodie down on the table.
“No, not the one he was just wearing, Skye. Just one of them.”
“You’re wearing his clothes? What did I miss in the last five minutes?”
“Nothing.” You shake your head. “He texted me a few days ago telling me I needed to wear black so we could match and I told him I didn’t have anything. So he brought me his hoodie. I’m giving it back right after our interference and getting some new clothes tomorrow.”
She held a weird grin on her face before she looked down at her phone. “Mmkay.” She chuckled.
“What?” You peered your eyes at her.
“Nothing it’s just- it’s funny.” She shrugged.
“What is?”
“The fact that you pretend to be so annoyed by him but you’re willingly going to wear his hoodie.” She pointed at the clothing on the table. “It’s funny.”
“I don’t pretend to be so annoyed by him. He actually does annoy me. I tried to be his friend but he’s so hot and cold all the time. He will be a decent person one minute and an asshole the next, it’s exhausting.” You rambled, making sure she got the point but judging by the smirk on her face, she didn’t buy it.
“Right.” She nodded. “Well it’s almost nine. You should be meeting up with lover boy for your interference in a few minutes.” She teased, earning another roll of your eyes as you stood up from the table with a huff. “Don’t forget his hoodie.” She said before you snatched it up and headed out of catering.
He wasn’t there when you got to the gorilla but you knew he’d show soon. The directors were standing by, seemingly waiting for Hook so they could send you both out at the right time.
You took that time to toss the hoodie on, and it did nothing at all for your figure. It was far baggier than you expected, so much that the sleeves swallowed your hands.
You heard footsteps behind you tracking fast and turned to face the man in question. He took one look at you and his lips turned up in a smirk he was clearly trying to hide.
“This thing is huge on me.” You deadpan.
“I told you to cut it.” He reminds you. Then he reaches down to the ends of the sleeves and rolls them up so your hands are exposed. “Can’t fight if you don’t have fists.”
You stared at him while he rolled the other sleeve up. When your hands were exposed you pulled your hair out of the hood and did your best to make yourself decent before the music hit. As much as you could given the circumstances, at least.
Tyler held his gaze on you for a moment longer before he tore it away the moment your eyes connected, looking down at the floor and fluffing his hair. For once, you matched. You’d noticed his gold cross pendant he was wearing and remembered the one you had on yourself.
“Funny.” You said dryly. “I have one too.”
You pulled the necklace out from under the hoodie and laid it against your chest. He looked down and nodded. “I noticed.” He said, just as your music hit.
You turned around and got ready for your first appearance leading up to a heel turn. You didn’t want to psych yourself out about it, but you felt a little nervous.
“Never thought I’d be coming out to this type of song.” He commented from behind you.
“It’ll be changing soon, evidently.” You muttered before heading down the tunnel.
Anna was staring at the stage when you and Hook came through the tunnel. He threw on his best scowl and it made it a little easier for you to mimick him. Jack came racing up the ramp, hook moving you to the side before he lunged towards Perry.
He snatched the belt clean from jacks hands and tossed it over to you. The crowd went completely and utterly insane as the boys backed down the ramp, throwing punches everywhere they could visibly see of each other’s bodies.
You raced towards the ring as anna was sliding out of it, calling jacks name over and over in an attempt to get him away from hook, and as soon as she had noticed you getting close, she turned around and you slammed the title into the side of her head like she’d done to you weeks prior.
She fell to the floor and Jack immediately rushed to her aid, screaming and cursing you and Hook as you held up the title and shouted back, “This is gonna be his. You just wait! It was always his!”
A proud smirk from hook was caught on camera but you didn’t get to see it. He knew that there were no lines to this. You just came up with something and the fast thinking was what really got him.
Jack then got up to his feet and raced towards you both, but hook stepped in front of you and held his arm out, blocking Perry from getting any closer.
On commentary, everyone was eating the whole situation up.
“Looks like the coldhearted handsome devil has made quite an impact on Y/N!” Excalibur shouted through his headpiece. “This is wild!”
“That it is my friend. I said it from the start. Those two are an absolute force to be reckoned with. God help jack and Anna. Wouldn’t wanna be those clowns right now.” Taz chuckled.
You and hook walked back up to the stage and just before you were about to head through the face tunnel, he grabbed your wrist and nodded his head to the left.
You looked up at him, realizing it was happening this soon. You heard the commotion from thousands around the second you let him lead you through to the heel side, in your mind, you made it official. You were no longer the babyface you’d been for over a year. The transition was starting faster than you’d expected but, it felt a tad bit easier to have someone doing it with you.
“That’s not a shock to me. I could see that coming with those two. Bonnie and Clyde of AEW.” tony announced from commentary.
“Y/N and Hook have made their impression here tonight, and they’re just getting started boys.”
You couldn’t deny that you had an adrenaline rush running ramped. He turned around to let you catch up to him before you entered the hallway.
“How’d it feel?” He asked.
At that moment you almost felt thankful to him for pitching the heel turn idea to Tony in the first place but then you remembered how he kept it from you for weeks. Either way you were able to not let that bother you for the time being.
“Kind of exhilarating. Did you hear that crowd?” You say as you round the corner. There’s looks being sent your way from multiple talent. In your mind it’s judgement but in all actuality they’re wondering how long you and Hook have been hooking up on the low.
“Yeah, they loved it.” He says. He walked a little slower than usual. Usually he was ready to get to the shower but he didn’t mind talking to you a little before that today. He wouldn’t tell you that though.
“I didn’t expect it.” You say. Just then someone calls your name. You turn around and find that it’s Ricky. He reaches his hand out to dap hook up but his eyes stay on you.
“That was fucking crazy what you did out there.” He tells you, making a grin spread across your lips. “I never expected you to turn heel, especially not with my man Hook.” He throws his arm around hooks shoulders, and he stiffens them immediately.
“Next time you’re on I need a heads up so I can watch in the viewing room. Both of you.” He looks at Hook who suddenly has a stiff jaw. He picked up on a vibe Ricky was emitting and he didn’t like it. He didn’t know why but he wanted to get you away from him.
“Thanks Ricky.” You smiled before he nodded his head and gave Hook a pat on his back. “Good choice man.”
You didn’t miss the way hooks eyes followed him all the way down the hall. He suddenly looked like he reverted right back to the version of him you had an unfortunate encounter with weeks ago.
“You okay?” You asked, but he didn’t look at you until Ricky was out of his sights. Then he turned back started walking. You followed close behind, reaching for his arm when you realize you were being ignored.
“Hey” you stopped him. He turned to face you but kept his head down, staring at the floor. “Why do you suddenly look so mad? What just happened?”
“I’m not.” He picked his head up. You could see it on his face. It was clear as day whether he wanted it to be or not.
“You are though.” You attested. “Did he do something to you? I thought you were friends.”
“Can you drop it?” He quickly cut in with a sharp tone. You took a step back, almost feeling like his words forcefully pushed you away. He noticed the distance you put in and his eyes seemed to have softened, but only for a mere second.
He turned back towards the hall and muttered, “see you next week, Y/N.” Before, once again, he left you there watching him go.
———-
“Clearly jealous.” Willow nods dramatically.
“Obviously.” Skye agrees.
“That’s hard for me to believe.” You tell them as you adjust your ring gear. You had a segment to shoot tonight in the ring. It was going to be the first time you actually talked in front of the crowd and you were beyond anxious about it. Tyler was going to be in the ring with you but he wasn’t going to say anything and the fact that you hadn’t spoken to him since that last conversation made you even more nervous.
“Because he wants you.” Willow smirked. “And if you haven’t already heard, everyone is talking about it.”
“Who’s everyone?” You asked as you strapped the laces on your new shoes. It was going to be a little difficult to break in another pair but you assumed that was the price you pay when you turn heel and can’t wear bright, glorious colors anymore.
That was the whole reason you donned an all black attire tonight. Black nails to match. It was never something you expected to wear but if you were going to be a heel you were going to rock it.
“Everyone as in everyone in this building right now.” Willow says. “People keep wondering how long you’ve been secretly hooking up under everyone’s nose.”
“But we’re not.”
“Not yet.” Skye points. “I give it two more weeks and you’re going to send us a picture from his room.”
“I give it one and a half.”
You rolled your eyes and stood up from the bench. “It’s not gonna happen. It’s nothing like that.”
“Then why did he suddenly get all weird when Ricky came up to you?” Willow raised her brows. “Skye, please tell me, why would a man do that?”
“Because he’s jealous. Because he wants you.” She answered, and you shook your head back.
“Whatever. I have to go. I have a segment in the ring in about ten minutes.”
“Good luck. We’ll be watching from the viewing room.” Willow calls out as you head through the door.
To your surprise, Tyler was already waiting for you when you reached the gorilla. To his surprise, you looked like a certified heel. The new attire and dark makeup, it looked way too natural on you.
He had on that signature black hoodie which reminded you of the one you had laying across your bed that you forgot to give back to him.
“Shit, I forgot I still have your hoodie.” You blurted, watching his dark eyes linger down to your attire before they made their way back to your face.
“Told you to keep it.” He said. It was clear he was in another one of his moods again tonight. It was really starting to bother you how he switches so fast, but right now the last thing you needed was to get in an argument and forget your lines. This time you knew you had them memorized thanks to staying up until three am studying them.
“I’ll give it back next time I see you.” You mumbled before music started playing and a song he recognized, but not as your own reached his ears.
“You changed the music?” He asked as he stepped to the side to let you lead.
“I’m a heel now, remember?”
You slid past him and made your way out. It was strange knowing you could no longer interact with the fans. Usually you’d blow a kiss or tag their hands but now you practically ignored them. At least they were engaged and supportive of this new you, so it seemed. Or maybe they were just going crazy over the two of you. Either way, you weren’t the ones getting boo’d.
You plastered a scowling look on your face and tried to keep it there as you made your way to the ring. Hook followed closely behind you, trying not to bob his head to your music.
You slid under the ropes and he took the steps, but you both met back in the middle. You took a minute to take in the reactions from the crowd. It was something you had to try hard not to smile about. Which was going to take some work.
Tony Schiavone handed you a mic and you snatched it from his hand, all for the dramatics, of course.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven’t already noticed, you’re looking at two of the absolute best AEW has ever had to offer you.” You pointed at Hook who nodded his head, stepping side to side on his feet.
You weren’t being boo’d, which came as a thrill to you. If they were eating it up you just wanted to give them more.
“When Anna Jay and Jack Perry made the unfortunate decision to target us, we made the decision to fight back, and what you saw last week when I knocked that bitch out with Hook’s FTW title-“ you paused to make sure the fans were taking it all in, “It was just the beginning.”
You looked over at Hook who continued to nod, chewing on a piece of gum as his eyes scanned the crowd.
“And when Anna recovers from that blow to the head she took from me, I’ll be waiting. And as for Jack, well” you chuckled darkly as you nodded towards your partner, “Let’s just say Hook was some fun things planned for him.”
He looked over at you, and you could see a faint smile on his face before he ran his hand over his lips.
“You see, I realized something a little while ago. You know, after Anna smashed the FTW title into my head?” You reminded the crowd of weeks ago.
“It’s that being nice gets you used and abused. All the times I’ve let that bitch get away with attacking me, I regret it. I really do, but it’s alright, because it will never happen again.”
The crowd popped when you took a pause, but you had to keep that cold expression on your face.
“So Anna Jay, Jungleboy, if you’re watching from the hospital, I just want to say, get well soon. Please.” The camera panned on you and you shot a mischievous grin before you dropped the mic and heard the crowd scream their lungs out.
Your music hit and Hook walked over to the ropes, holding one up for you to slip through.
You headed towards the stage, trying not to let a smile break out. You felt his arm brush yours as he walked alongside you.
When you disappeared through the tunnel you huffed out a deep breath. “Fuck that was exciting.” You chuckled as you placed your hand over your racing heart.
“Fun isn’t it?” He asked as he squeezed into the space next to you.
“Yeah, really fun.” You said before rounding the corner to find Skye standing there. Her match was next but you’d forgotten that in the mix of everything. Her eyes lingered to the man next to you before they fell to you with a smirk plastering her face.
“That was hot.” She remarked as she walked up to you. Tyler stopped when you did, to your surprise and Skye’s.
“You think it was good?” You asked.
“It was perfect. You are doing the damn thing, isn’t she hook?”
You could see what she was doing and tried to send her a look but her eyes were on him instead.
“Yeah, she did real good.” He nodded. That’s when she looked at you again and caught the look you sent.
“You two are a good duo. Can’t wait to see what comes next.” She ran her hand over your arm before she brushed past you.
Tyler looked back down at you and you hoped he didn’t pick up on Skye’s insinuations. He did, but he didn’t mention it.
He started walking when you did, and again, you saw all the people around with their eyes on the two of you. You wondered if Skye and Willow were right. Did everyone think you and Tyler were hooking up? And if so, why? You didn’t think you gave that impression at all. It was just acting, like Tyler told you.
Truth is that Tyler had been approached quite a few times, being asked about you more often than not. He never gave anyone a straight answer, which obviously left them to make their own assumptions.
“Everyone keeps staring.” You whispered.
“They’ll do that.” He muttered back.
You were heading towards the locker room when Jeff Hardy came around a corner, a smile brought to his and Hook’s face when they saw each other.
“What’s up man.” Jeff greeted, “And ma’am.”
“What’s up” hook nodded.
Jeff’s eyes adverted between the two of you, then landed back on Hook. “When are we gonna see this duo beat some ass?” He asked, “I’m ready for it.”
“Whenever Tony calls the shot.” Hook shrugged. “I’m ready too. I think we both are.” He glanced at you. Jeff brought a full fledged smile to Hook’s face pretty easily. One you hadn’t seen from him in all the weeks you’d been around him.
“It’s highly anticipated. From a lot of people, actually.” Jeff chuckles and hook drops his head, seeming to try to hide that smile that you evidently caught.
“We can tell.” He says.
Jeff’s eyes switch back to you again before he looks back at Hook. Both men were grinning from ear to ear as if they had some sort of secret telepathy going on.
“Alright well I’ll see you around brother, and you maam.” He nodded his head and you nodded back.
“Alright bro.” Hook said before Jeff walked around the two of you.
“Best friend?” You teased, watching as he brought his hand to his mouth, physically wiping away that smile.
“Something like that, yeah.” He said as the two of you made your way towards your respected rooms.
“Kind of cool how everyone likes our heel turn. I thought we’d get hate for it.”
“We still might, but it’ll be alright.” He shrugged. You reached the end of the hall that branches off into two opposing directions and it hit you that this was the first time he hadn’t left you standing in the middle of it.
He stopped and turned to face you, adjusting the collar of his hoodie.
“You did good out there.” He tells you, surprisingly. “You should think so too.”
You were somewhat dumbfounded at the fact that he actually complimented you without underlying sarcasm. You smiled even though you didn’t mean to, assuming your lips had a mind of their own.
“Thanks.” You say as you suddenly feel the air getting thick, but not as suffocating as usual.
Hook nodded before his eyes adverted to the empty hall behind you. He didn’t have anywhere to really be, but he told you he did.
“I’m gonna go shower.” He lied for no reason. You just nodded. You felt your hands clamming up, sweat spreading across your palms and didn’t like it.
“Alright well, see you next week?” You didn’t know why you asked. Of course you’d see him next week. It’s been like that for a while now.
“Yeah.” He nodded before he brushed past you, heading one way while you headed the other.
————
A text from Tony at eleven in the morning got your attention that following Saturday.
“This is it. Big match Wednesday.” Was all it said.
It felt like you’d anticipated this whole thing for so long and now that it was coming you weren’t sure how to feel. You stared down at the message until another one came through, but not on the group chat.
“you ready?” He asked, clearly referring to Tony’s previous message.
“No lol” you replied back, but you were being honest.
“you’re ready” he quickly responded, and all you did was stare at those words for a minute to long.
Why it was making you nervous, you weren’t sure. Probably because it was your biggest match to date and held a lot of value to your current heel run but, what happens next? What happens when you and Hook beat Jack and Anna? Is there even going to be a you and Hook anymore?
Lots of questions were left unanswered because you were too hesitant to ask them. You just decided to play it by ear, but the thought of a heel run all on your own wasn’t very appealing to you. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, having Hook alongside you, sort of paving the way for all your antics made things less worrisome and a lot more fun for you.
You truly couldn’t picture doing it without him and that alone was something you never expected.
Another text came through and you were surprised to find that it was Skye. She sent you the picture from AEW’s instagram account when they announced the tagteam match on Wednesday.
“This is your biggest match yet girl. I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna kill it!”
You smiled down at your phone and typed a couple hearts back. The support you had made things a little easier but your nerves were still trying to get the best of you, and you assumed it was going to be that way until the match was over.
————
It was anticipated and highly talked about all over the internet. You were constantly being tagged on twitter, instagram and TikTok. It seemed like the whole world was awaiting this match and the time had finally come.
You were heading towards the gorilla with a racing heart. You kept trying to tell yourself that this was just like any other match, any other opponent but it wasn’t. It was your first match as a heel, first match as a tagteam and longest tv time to date. You had a couple moves you were expected to pull that you never had before and there was very little familiarity around the entire situation.
“Hey” you heard a deep voice from behind you. You turned around to find Ricky standing there.
“Hey” you smiled, adjusting your black wristbands.
“Good luck on your match tonight. Just wanted to say that.” He grinned, and it was then that you picked up on a vibe that you weren’t all that into. You took a small step back but kept your politeness.
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” You say. Before you can turn back, he asks another question. One that catches you off guard.
“Hey, are you and hook like, a thing?”
Your brows knitted together but you wiped that look away quickly. You were about to respond when you felt eyes on you, and just like all the times before, you knew Hook was around.
Ricky’s eyes adverted above your head and that’s when you felt warmth radiating against your back.
“Y/N, you ready?” His deep voice reached you, making your heart flutter for some reason.
He held his eyes on Ricky as you turned around to face him. You could see that familiar expression like before. Jaw set and teeth clenched. It was then that you realized Skye and Willow were right. Hook was jealous. He didn’t get that way at all when Jeff approached the two of you. It was just Ricky.
You spared the man a glance over your shoulder and caught the disappointment on his face, but you couldn’t take enough time to think about it when you had a match in a few minutes.
“What was he talking to you about?” Hook muttered next to you.
You felt a little nervous to say it, but when his eyes landed on you, it urged you to tell him.
“He wished me luck on the match and… he asked if we were a thing.”
His jaw throbbed and you caught it, but by the time that happened you were already reaching the gorilla.
What you didn’t know was that Ricky had been coming up to him asking the same thing, and at one point he expressed that he wanted to ask you to go out with him. He thought he made it clear when he glared the man down but evidently he didn’t make it clear enough. Either that or Ricky just didn’t care, which was what Hook was now figuring on.
He knew he couldn’t get distracted. A lot was riding on this match for you and he didn’t want to ruin that. He pushed the thoughts out of his head and turned to face you instead.
“Ready?” He asked, but he could tell that you were anxious. You still had those wide, round eyes that reminded him of a puppy and as much as you might be good at playing a heel, you just weren’t that person on the inside.
“Ready as I can be.” You nodded, attempting to collect yourself.
Jack’s music was almost finished and you knew that meant it was time for you and Hook to come out. You took in a deep breath and he noticed that it was shaky.
“Something that helps me when I feel under pressure is thinking about the look on the faces of all the people who ever doubted me when they have to watch me prove them wrong.” He blurted, shrugging a shoulder.
You thought on that. Remembering back when you first came to AEW and had no foothold in the industry. All the mean, offensive things you’d heard about yourself start replaying over and over again in your mind and to your surprise, you felt a little bit of adrenaline surge.
“That’s helpful, actually” you tell him, noticing the right side of his mouth tipping upwards.
Just then, the intro of Chairman’s Intent boomed through the speakers and Hook nodded. “Remember that if you get nervous.”
You nodded back before he stepped to the side, as he usually did, to let you lead the way.
You headed out with him trailing right behind you and held your eyes on both Anna and Jack standing in the ring, amping each other up.
The glares being shared between the four of you was making for great tensions arising in the arena and the crowd was intensely engaged in all of it, which made you happy, of course, but you couldn’t show that.
You headed in one direction and he headed in the other, you both circling the ring with eyes on your opponents.
When you passed each other, he held his hand out. You tagged it as you walked past and that simple interaction had the crowd bursting with cheers.
You met up at the steel steps and he stepped back, waving you to go first. You stepped up onto the canvas and slipped between the ropes, Hook following. He didn’t lean against the turnbuckles like he usually did but you assumed that was because this wasn’t one of his typical matches. He stayed at your side and shot daggers to jack and Anna.
You and Anna were going first. You walked up to her, showing no signs of intimidation as you stood toe to toe. She smirked down at you before forcefully pushing you a foot back, making you stumble before you caught your footing.
You wiped that grin off of her face when you delivered a harsh slap to her cheek and from that point on, the two of you were rolling around the ring, throwing fists and kneeing ribs until Paul said it was enough.
You put some separation between you two and that’s when she tagged Jack, so you went to your corner where hook was waiting with an extended hand, eyeing you as you approached.
“You good?”
“I’m good” you slapped his hand and he hopped over the top rope, lunging towards back with a force that knocked him off his feet.
The crowd went wild at his explosiveness and the energy in the arena was absolutely riveting. It could’ve given you a high at that point.
You watched as Hook clotheslined jack right over the ropes, and when he hit the floor, Anna hopped off of the canvas. Hook jumped down and grabbed jack by his hair, but that’s when Anna came behind him and jabbed her elbow into the side of his neck, bringing him down to his knees.
You hopped down and raced over, grabbing her from behind and spinning her until she slammed into the barricades. Hook watched for a moment before he returned his attention to jack.
The two of them were back in the ring while you and Anna threw punches on the outside.
She was way more aggressive than you were, making you feel the urge to hit a little harder. You heard Hook shouting and you both looked up, finding that Jack had used Hook’s redrum against him, but Hook was trying to fight it, and failing.
You kicked Anna back and created enough space to slide under the ropes and break the hold. Hook fell to his knees and jack rose to his feet, walking you back towards the turnbuckles before you felt annas hands around your ankles and your face crashed into the canvas.
You lifted your head to see blood stains dripping from your mouth. Your tongue slid over your teeth to see if one was broken but all you tasted was metallic.
You glanced up to see Hook’s eyes on you. He was in the middle of getting jack ready for a German Suplex when he got distracted by the blood pouring from your busted lip.
He snapped back into it and slung jack over, then got back to his feet like he didn’t take a harsh landing himself and walked over to you.
Kneeling down, he scanned every inch of your face. This wasn’t planned and you both knew that. There was concern in his eyes that quickly turned into undoubted rage when jack grabbed Hook’s shoulders from behind and slammed him down to the canvas.
It was only then that he realized you were bleeding but by that time, it was too late for him.
Hook rose up quickly and threw his fists into jacks jaw. He stumbled back, falling against the turnbuckles and hook just didn’t stop.
Paul had to separate the two, and you when he did, Jack shouted out, “I didn’t know she was bleeding man!”
You got back up and saw the look on Anna’s face when she noticed all the blood leaving a trail from your lip to your chin. She didn’t mean it, and you weren’t mad. Accidents happened all the time, it’s a part of the business.
Hook’s eyes followed you as you walked around the ring back over to your corner, and tensions seemed to have died down when he saw that you were okay.
You held your hand out for him, knowing you and Anna were the ones finishing the match and he hesitated a little bit before he tagged you in.
“You alright?” He asked, and you nodded before you hopped over the top rope.
Anna lunged foward and you stepped to the side, letting her slam into the turnbuckle. Hook smirked at this, it was a classic move.
You grabbed her by the back of her head and slammed her down on her back, watching as she clutched her neck and rolled around, before you pulled her back up.
You knew what was next and had to remember what Hook said that night that you learned you’d be using his finisher to end this match.
Anna was a good bit taller but since you brought a six foot man to his knees, you knew size wasn’t an obstacle.
She turned her back in an attempt to create some distance and you quickly sprung forward and hopped on her. Jack immediately slid under the ropes but that’s when hook raced in and wrapped his arm under his jaw, immediately making him wobbly at the knees.
“Lock it in!” Hook shouted at you as he hopped up and wrapped his legs around jacks waist, effectively bringing him down to the canvas.
You dug your knees into Anna’s sides and reared back, holding on tight when your back hit the canvas and within only seconds, they both tapped out and Hook’s music bursted through the arena, though it wasn’t too easy to hear over the eruption of the crowd.
You kicked Anna’s limp body off of you and looked up to see Hook’s extended hand. You took it, helping you to your feet before he held both your hands in the air.
His eyes would’ve been scanning the arena but they were focused on the blood smearing your skin instead. He nodded towards the tunnels and you lead the way, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, and feeling the sting of an open wound.
“That was a hell of a match right there boys” taz exclaimed from commentary.
“That it was, taz, those two know how to bring the energy to an arena” tony chipped in.
“I’ll tell you what, I wasn’t too thrilled about the new attitude from Y/N at first, but she’s toughened up a lot since her and Hook teamed up.” Excalibur adds.
“He’s coldhearted and she’s following in his footsteps I guess” tony chuckled
“No, I’ll tell you this much. I’ve had many, many conversations with the coldhearted handsome devil and with Y/N myself and those two simply have like minds, like-personalities and like-spirits. We should’ve seen this one coming boys, it was bound to happen.”
As soon as the arena was behind you, you felt his hand on your shoulder, turning you to face him. His eyes were trained on the laceration but you quickly covered it with your hand.
“It’s fine” you tell him. You wanted to continue feeling the rush that the big win gave you, wondering why he didn’t seem excited at all.
“I don’t care about the cut, I’m too pumped up right now” you tell him as you head through the tunnel with a little pep in your step.
“It’s deep.” He says as he catches up. “I think you should go make sure you don’t need stitches”
“It’s just a cut, it’s fine Tyler.”
Accidentally once again, you said his real name. Once again, he felt a little taken back by it, but tried not to show it.
“It’s bleeding a lot.” He keeps on, like it hasn’t stopped at all.
You wiped the blood with the back of your hand and he grabbed your wrist to show you the crimson covering your skin. “That is a lot.”
“I’ve had worse, seriously. I’ll just go wash my face and hold a gauze to it for a couple minutes and it’ll stop.”
Before he could object again, Skye and Willow were both racing up to you. Their arms engulfed you and you felt the giddiness arising within you again. You glanced over at Tyler who was watching the whole group hug with an evident, proud looking smile.
“You are the baddest fucking bitch” Skye says when they unwrap their arms. “That shit was so good I would watch it a hundred times!”
You couldn’t contain the smile breaking out, and that’s when Willow asks, “Does your mouth hurt? That was a nasty fall.”
“Yeah but she got up and kept fighting cause she’s a bad fucking bitch” Skye grins.
“It’s fine, I don’t even feel it I’m too happy right now” you say as you glance back over to see that Tyler was no longer there. Your eyes adverted all around but he had disappeared elsewhere.
“C’mon, we’re gonna get you cleaned up.” Willow grabs your hand and pulls you along. “Oh, and we’re going out tonight to celebrate you.”
————
You stumbled through the hotel doors at one in the morning, wobbly on your feet with willow and Skye by your side. You’d went out to a bar on the north side of town and downed way too many drinks that you could actually remember but you were still on a high from your match that you didn’t even realize how drunk you actually were.
You were all three laughing amongst yourselves about nothing in particular when you caught sight of Taz coming out of the hotel gym.
He had an amused smirk on his face when he approached the three of you.
“Ladies, looks like you had a good time tonight.” He said as he eyed all three of you before focusing on you specifically.
“You took a nasty fall, Y/N, my son was just telling me about how you were too stubborn to get it checked out.” He chucked. That’s when your eyes lingered over to the gym doors.
“Yeah but it’s fine” you slurred. “I was so pumped I didn’t even feel a thing.”
“Be careful about that adrenaline rush, it can sneak up on you sometimes” he said.
“Okay. Is he in there?” You pointed to the gym, stumbling a little bit.
“Tyler? Yeah, he always does his workouts at this ungodly hour.”
When you heard that, that’s all your attention was focused on. You looked over and Skye and Willow who already knew what you were thinking, but they didn’t say anything except, “Well see you tomorrow girl”
Taz eyed you before a smirk came to his face and he shook his head with a low laugh. “Alright, I’m off to my room. Tell my son he needs to stop calling me down to the gym at anytime past midnight and call his tagteam partner from now on instead.”
You nodded, a smile willingly spreading across your lips before you headed towards the gym. You opened the door to find him sitting on the weight bench staring down at his phone, and right as you saw that, your phone buzzed in your pocket.
He looked up at you, brows knitted but with amusement in his eyes.
“That’s weird, I just texted you. Do you teleport now?” He asked, then cringed to himself. That was stupid, why did he say that?
You chuckle nonetheless as you stumbled in, thinking you weren’t noticeably drunk but it was way more obvious than you thought.
“Have fun?” He asked as he watched you head over to the bench across from his and sit down.
“I did” you grinned sheepishly. “It’s been such a good day, actually.”
He nodded back, eyes lingering to the laceration on your bottom lip that was already healing.
“I just ran into your dad” you tell him, swaying side to side.
“Did you?” He smirks, and you wished your vision wasn’t so blurry.
“Yeah, said to tell you stop calling him down here so late and call your tag team partner instead” you hiccuped.
He dropped his head. “Of course he did” he said as he shook it. You watched as he ran his hand through his hair and fluffed it out.
“Hey” you catch his attention.
“Hey” he says back.
“What’s coming next?” You asked the question that’s been running through your mind for a couple of days leading up to the match. “You know, we won tonight. The rivalry doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. So what does that mean for us? Are we done being partners now that we’ve beat them? I mean I know you still have the FTW title to win back, and I can be there ringside for it… if you wanted”
His eyes dropped to your fingers fidgeting over your lap.
“I don’t really know. What do you want to happen?” He asked, knowing already that he has thought about this same exact thing and the idea of the two of you no longer being a duo didn’t sit right with him, but he hadn’t mentioned anything to Tony and Tony hasn’t said anything else either.
“I want things to stay like they are” you admitted with another hiccup. “We have fun, don’t we?”
He had to keep in mind that you were drunk and now probably wasn’t the best time to take anything you said to heart, but it was hard for him not to.
“Yeah, we do.” He nods.
“So let’s call Tony and tell him we’re going to keep doing this heel run together” you pulled out your phone and read the text that was floating on your screen from Tyler earlier.
“can you come to the gym, i want to talk to you about something”
“Wait, what did want to talk about?” You asked. He shifted around and straightened his posture as he rubbed his palms over his sweats.
Before he texted you that, he was having a talk with his dad about you. It wasn’t often that Tyler came to him for advice on women but he didn’t really know who else he could trust.
He admitted that even though he tried to fight against it, he’d fallen pretty hard for you and it was starting to eat away at him. He didn’t have the impression that you would feel the same way, even though Taz completely disagreed with him on that.
He told his son that he would bet a million bucks that the feeling was mutual, claiming that a connection like the two of you have is undeniable and if he’s ever listened to anything taz told him, it needed to be that.
“You two remind me of myself and your mother when we were young” he recalls his dad saying. “We were too stubborn to admit we had feelings until we got drunk one night and it all spilled out”
“Tyler?” Your voice broke him out of his own thoughts. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
He never had to have a conversation like this before. He never really wanted anyone for more than just a fun night before. His adams apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly and tried to keep his nerves under control.
“I- uh-“ he rubbed the back of his neck as he inhaled deeply. Letting it all out in a quick huff.
“I been thinking a lot about me and you, and I don’t want to stop what we’ve been doing, but I do want to start doing more” he danced around the confession and you couldn’t quite piece it together.
“Like… how?” You asked, a little lost.
“I want to be with you.” He blurted, feeling his cheeks burn the minute the words flew from his mouth. His eyes scanned your face, studying it, searching for a reaction but you were blank faced and for once he couldn’t read you.
“You want to be with me? Like, be with me?” You were sure you weren’t hearing him right. Maybe everyone else thought you and Tyler were a thing but you never thought it was actually going to be an option.
“Yes, I do” he boldly stated, holding his eyes on you, watching as all the conversations you, Willow and Skye had over the last couple of weeks flashed through your mind and you couldn’t believe they were right the entire time.
“But if you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay, I’ll still do the heel run with you and we can forget I ever said anything.” He lowly muttered, waiting for what felt like an eternity for you to say anything back.
“Or if you’re already into someone else, like Ricky or something-“
“I’m not” you blurted out. “I’m not into anyone else.”
You couldn’t ignore the way your heart was beginning to race and your skin felt like it was engulfed in a million small fires. You stared back at him, your eyes lingering to his lips when his tongue slid over them.
A bunch of feelings you’d suppressed out of sheer denial suddenly came rushing in and it was now impossible to force them back again. All the tensions between the two of you, the anger and the confusion over the last few weeks was quickly diminished by an even stronger feeling of pure anticipation and desire.
The space between the two of you was too much and it was if Tyler had that same thought when he stood up from the weight bench and extended his hand. You took it, and he helped you to your feet.
You were unsure what to do with your hands when he let go but it became easy to find a place for them to rest on his waist when his finger curled beneath your chin, angling your head up, lips would’ve been brushing against each other if you were just a little taller.
His eyes were soft and a sprinkle of hazel appeared against the dark brown, and you realized you never noticed that before now.
He took in every inch of your face with a slow and meaningful gaze before an easy smile spread across his lips and a dimple soon followed.
You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach and spread through your whole body when he leaned in. You rose to you tip toes and your lips met gently, slowly, and tenderly. The way they fit like two pieces of a puzzle, moving in sync and pure harmony had your head spinning.
The taste of mint lingered on your tongue long after his lips were no longer on yours and you didn’t want it to vanish anytime soon.
He looked at you with eyes of adoration, his fingers slipping from your chin and pulling you into his chest. You buried your face into the fabric of his t-shirt, taking in the scent of cologne that you recognized from his hoodie you never gave back to him, and that’s when you remembered it.
“I still have your hoodie.” You chuckled, feeling his chest rise and fall with a low chuckle of his own.
“Keep it. It’s yours. It’s been yours since I gave it to you.”
———-
From that night in the hotel room gym on, you and Tyler were always together at the arena and outside of it. Your heel run was going strong. You were an undefeated tagteam that nobody wanted to step in the ring with.
After two weeks of keeping your love life on the low, he decided he wanted everyone to know. You were walking back from another successful match, standing on the stage when he grabbed your hand and spun you to him, placing a kiss to your lips that made the whole arena erupt in screams and chants of your conjoined names the fans came up with.
“Bet nobody saw that coming” Tony sarcastically remarked from commentary. “AEW’s modern day Bonnie and Clyde”
“Looks like you need to set an extra plate at the table when the holidays roll around, Taz.”
“I’ll gladly do that my friend.” Taz grinned as he watched you and hook exit through the tunnel.
“We’ve never seen the coldhearted handsome devil show any sort of emotion whatsoever… except with her!” Excalibur exclaims.
“Guess he’s not so coldhearted after all” Tony chips in.
“Oh no, he’s coldhearted son, but not towards her. Everyone else including myself gets the cold shoulder from my man, but she’s something special to him.”
Tyler walked you to the locker room and leaned against the wall. A soft smile stays on his face whenever the cameras aren’t around now.
“You looked gorgeous slamming Britt’s head into the canvas.” He taunts, earning a laugh from you.
“Thanks, I didn’t really try” you bantered back.
“Never have to.” He grins as he leans in and brushes his lips against yours before they fully connect.
“Everyone knows now” he says when you pull apart.
“They probably already did. We’ve been caught making out a lot” you remind him, earning that dimple you love so much to appear.
“True. I’m glad we don’t have to hide it anymore. I can officially call you mine.” He grins.
You place another gentle kiss to his lips before you whisper against them, “I’ve been yours this whole time”
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harlowsbby · 10 months
Text
Good Off You
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You’ve been feeling empty within your relationship with Jack as of lately all it seemed like the two of you did was argue about the same things.
It was always about Mia she was one of his close friends from Atlanta he swore up and down like a sailor that she wasn’t someone you had to worry about but if that was the case how come you felt as if you needed to worry.
This relationship was starting to feel very much one sided or that there was a disconnect and that disconnect was coming from Jack, you weren’t sure how you were going to fix your relationship with Jack or if it was even worth saving at this point.
————————————————————————
“What’s going on with you two? According to Nemo, Jack’s been at his house all week.”
You called Neelam earlier that day telling her you needed to get out of the house you didn’t care where the two of you went you just needed time away from that house.
“Did he lie and say that I was the one that kicked him out the house?” Neelam was quiet you chuckled and rolled your eyes. “You see what I mean he’s always playing this pick me role and acting like I’m the problem when it’s really him.” You defended yourself.
“What’s even going on? I don’t even know the full story.” The last you wanted to do was bring everyone into your relationship you hated having people in your business but you trusted Neelam.
“You know Mia right?” She nodded her head. “Yeah I know Mia.”
You sighed heavily, “Lately I just don’t.. I don’t know he’s been talking to her a lot more and you know I’ve always had weird feelings about her from the start and Jack always told me I didn’t have to worry about her but now.” You paused. “I’m starting to worry about her.”
You didn’t want your relationship with Jack to end this way you didn’t want to be the one being cheated on. You thought he loved you at least that’s what he said and made you believe and feel. You always had this feeling that deep down Jack wasn’t really yours like that because he always had Mia.
“What was your last argument about? If you don’t mind me asking because he told Nemo that you kicked him out.” You huffed and looked at her. “About Mia.”
A few days ago
“Why is she texting you at Damn 2am in the morning huh? That’s all I want to know and you’re beating around the fucking bush with your answer dammit!” It was 2am in the morning and while you’d much rather be fast asleep in bed instead you were up arguing with Jack.
“I told you it’s nothing just drop it already would you.” He snapped back and snatched his phone from your grasp. “No I won’t just drop it because it doesn’t make sense as to why she’s calling you this fucking late.”
He ignored you and kept texting away on his phone probably responding back to Mia no doubt. “Are you even listening to me?” He scoffed and looked up at you his blue eyes that you once fell in love with were now filled with what seemed to be hatred and irritation. “You’re talking aren’t you? You know I can’t deal with this tonight Y/N.”
You scrunched your eyebrows together wondering where he was going. “Where are you going?” You watched as he got up and grabbed his keys and wallet. “Jack? Where are you going.” You walked over to him and grabbed his hand trying to pull him into you but he shook you off.
“I’m going to Nemo’s for a bit I think some time apart will do us some good.” He stated with no emotion whatsoever. “Are you kidding me right now?” You scoffed and shook your head at him.
“Honestly I can’t believe you right now you’d rather walk out than just tell me the truth.” He raised his eyebrows. “The truth on what? I told you nothing is going on better Mia and Myself, I’m sorry you’re just so insecure and can’t handle the fact that I have female friends.” He spat.
You were taken back by his response never in your entire time of being with Jack has he ever said something like that to you or even spoke to you that way. “Fine just go.” You whispered and hugged yourself and looked down at the ground, you knew if you were to make eye contact you’d break down crying instantly.
“I’ll see you around Y/N.” When the door was closed you finally let your tears fall you cried the entire night till you cried yourself to sleep.
Current time
“He said all that to you? I can’t even believe it.” Neelam was in disbelief she never thought in a million years would Jack ever talk to someone he claimed he loved like that.
“Yeah he said all of that and I haven’t heard from him since. I just hate the way I know he’s sleeping with her but he won’t admit it.” You just wanted him to be honest with you even if the truth hurt.
The two of you decided to sit at the park you on one swing and Neelam on the other, the two of you sat on the swings just watching the sunset.
“What should I do? Do I just break up with him or do I stay with him.” You mumbled and fiddled with the hem of your hoodie.
“I’d hate to see the two of you break up but you know what sometimes you gotta make a decision that breaks your heart but gives you peace.” Neelam told you.
You knew this wasn’t going to be easy because you loved Jack you were honestly afraid to find a new love after Jack because you felt as if all guys were going to be the same.
————————————————————————
“Let’s go Y/N the Uber is already outside waiting on us!” Neelam yelled from the bottom of the stairs the two of you were going to Ace’s rooftop party he was celebrating the release of his newest solo project, you knew Jack was going to be there so you decided to dress up a bit tonight just to show him what he was missing.
You twirled around a few times making sure your outfit looked good. You grabbed your purse and headed downstairs where Neelam stood. “It’s about damn time the guy was threatening to leave.” You put your hands up in defense. “Sorry I had to make sure I looked good.”
“Whatever let’s just get going before Urban and Sunni eat up all the food.” The car ride to the hotel was fairly short so you made it under 10 minutes.
When you made it to the top of the roof you immediately when to the edge of the building and took in the beauty of Downtown Louisville at night, there was a few fireworks going off in the distance and a few people down below just laughing and having a good time but the moon is what caught your eye.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” You rolled your eyes open hearing that familiar voice. “It is beautiful now what do you want.”
“Can you at least look at me.” You took a second trying your best to prepare yourself you turned around slowly and was met face to face with Jack. He licked his lips as he looked you up and down. “You look good as always baby.”
“Thanks.” You both stood there awkwardly you didn’t really know what to say I mean the last time the two of you tried talking it resulted in a argument. “Look I’m sorry for what I said what I said was wrong.” “You think? You hurt my feelings Jack.”
He licked his lips and sighed. “I know I did and I’m sorry baby I don’t wanna lose you I promise I’m done talking to Mia.” You raised your eyebrow at him. “Oh really? And what made you stop taking to her.”
“Because I’d rather have a life with you than live a life without you.” He stated. “Really?” You whispered and sniffled which made Jack laugh.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting all soft and shit now.” He stuck his arms out and you quickly ran into his arms, he grinned and wrapped his arms around you tight and started swinging the two of you back and forth.
“I love you so much baby.” “I love you too Jack.”
You both pulled away from each other and Jack looped his hands with yours. “Let’s go enjoy tonight yeah?” You smiled and nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Halfway through the party a majority of the people there ended up passing out on some of the chairs or couches Ace had gotten for the event. Jack was a bit tipsy himself he laid on the couch with a drunken Urban laying next to him, you couldn’t find your phone at all so you needed to use Jack’s.
The music was still going though considering a good majority of people were still dancing and eating.
“Jack, let me see your phone I need to call my phone.” You rushed him he took his phone out his pocket and handed it to you. “Here babe you know the password yeah?” He asked.
“Yeah I know it I’ll be right back.” He nodded and you stepped off to the side and unlocked his phone you went to press the call button next to your contact when you noticed Jack had about 25 missed texts and 3 missed calls.
You looked behind you making sure he was still on the couch before clicking onto the messages.
“What the hell.” You frowned seeing all the messages were from Mia, all of them saying how she misses him and wonders when he’s leaving the party soon.
“So he wasn’t with Nemo.” You mumbled to yourself you looked back over at Jack who was now dozing off on the couch you shook your head and bit your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, you looked back down at the phone when it buzzed again.
Mia 💘
‘Did you tell her you’re breaking up with her yet? She needs to know the truth’
You knew texting her back and making her believe that you were Jack was wrong but you needed to know what truth she was talking about.
Jack 🩵
‘What do I even say’
Your heart started beating when you saw the three little dots appearing on the screen but then they disappeared again.
“Fuck I knew she wasn’t gon-.” You stopped talking mid sentence when she texted back.
Mia 💘
‘Just tell her straight up that I’m pregnant and that you’re leaving her to raise a family with me obviously, your kid needs you Jack.’
You knew it even though you knew that he was cheating on you with her it still hurt it hurt even more that she was having a baby with a man you once loved, with the man you swore you were going to spend forever with, with the man who told you that she wasn’t anybody to worry about but turns out she was somebody to worry about.
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eomayas · 10 months
Note
Can you write cold/hot bodyguard baekhyun and his s/o? Reader is really fall in love with him but she is shy. 🥺🥺
a/n: i think i may have misinterpreted this, but i hope you like it! thank you for the support, your request, and your patience. ❤️
the bodyguard • bbh [req]
pairing: bodyguard!baekhyun x celeb!reader
genre: fluff, angst
synopsis: reader has a small crush on her bodyguard, and they share a moment together.
warning: unrequited feelings, mentions of anxiety and poor mental health
you made it a point to know everybody on your team: hairstylists, makeup artists, photographers, stylists, your driver, etc. you also have made it a point to try and keep your staff for as long as possible, unless they express that they’d like to go elsewhere, or they break the rules you have set in place. so far, you’ve only had to have two new people for every position in the last seven years, except for one: your bodyguard.
your bodyguard, baekhyun, has been the most consistent person in your hectic life, and he does his job well. he’s the only one who hasn’t given you any problems—you’re the problem starter in this relationship—and generally stays out of the way and out of your business when he doesn’t need to be in it.
he’s great, to say the least. he only has one major flaw, and it’s that he has to go everywhere with you, all because you made a little mistake two years ago.
you went out to get some snacks, driving yourself rather than calling up your personal driver because it was 2am. you didn’t want to be a nuisance, just wanted to go to the corner store for a few things. all was going smoothly, until you accidentally bumped into somebody on your way out, and they saw who you were and followed you back to your house. luckily, you were just renting the place for a few weeks so it wasn’t actually your residence, but it was enough to set off alarms throughout your team, thus upping the security around you and making baekhyun go with you everywhere, no matter the time or place. he’s always there.
the both of you sit in the back of the SUV that’s taking you back to your hotel from a fashion event. baekhyun stares out the back window, stoic, and you can’t help but look at him for a brief moment. he’s a man of few words, never really talking unless he’s spoken to. everybody on your team really respects him and his dedication to keeping you safe. if anything happened to you, nobody would even look at you, they’d question him immediately and he’d be fired in seconds.
sighing, you pull your feet out of the heels you’re wearing and wiggle your toes. baekhyun glances over at you, but goes back to gazing out of the window once he sees that you’re fine. you know as much about him as he’s let you; he’s 31, lives alone, and likes dogs. he's kept it pretty surface level with you, and it makes sense because his job is to protect you, not to be your friend.
but sometimes, you wish he'd let you in more, would talk to you more. like now; but he's too busy brooding in his seat to talk. you let out a little breath and look out your own window. you spot a fast food restaurant and smile. "excuse me? could you pull over there?" you ask your driver, leaning over the middle console. he nods and you sit back in your chair.
"where do you want to go?" baekhyun asks, looking over at you. he always has a hard stare in his eyes, ever since he was hired seven years ago. they're always daring somebody to mess with him, to mess with you. his eyes bore into yours and you give him a small smile and tell him. baekhyun grunts as if to say 'ok', and turns back to the window.
like mentioned, he's not a man of many words.
over the course of these seven years, you've grown fond of him, grateful for him for caring about you more than you feel like he should. he cares about you—for you—in a way you don't think anybody else has. he'd put his life on the line for yours. and maybe it could be called a crush. maybe.
the driver pulls the car into the fast food lot, and you ask him to pull over and let you out. “what are you doing?” baekhyun asks, looking at you, his eyes narrowed.
“inside?” you say, pointing with your thumb to the restaurant. he shakes his head and you sigh. “it’ll be quick. i swear.” you say.
baekhyun shakes his head and leans forward. “no, y/n. sir, take us through the drive through, please,” he says, and cuts his eyes at you, daring you to tell him otherwise. but you know you ultimately call the shots, and so pop your seatbelt off, daring him to not follow after you, because you know he has to and will.
the driver doesn’t move, just unlocks the door and lets you get out, baekhyun in tow. you gather your dramatically poofy ballgown in your hands so it doesn’t drag on the pavement. you nearly jump when baekhyun gently, but firmly, grabs onto you elbow and leads you inside, blockading you with his body from everybody in the restaurant.
the attention isn’t immediate because of him protecting you, but once you’ve been spotted, it becomes a mini swarm. baekhyun barks orders at people to back away from you and to give you space, and while he does that, you manage to order food for the both of you. you’re not really sure what he likes, so you get the same thing for the both of you, sans drinks.
after you order, the swarm seems to grow, but bakehyun still forces people away. you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, but like always, you underestimate just how famous you are. sometimes you just truly want to be a normal 26 year old, doing normal 26 year old things, but the lifestyle you live doesn’t warrant that.
when your order is called, the person behind the counter thanks you for coming in and asks for a photo, which you graciously say yes to and pose. one selfie leads to several people shouting your name for one, one person even running around bakehyun and the crowd to get to you.
they grab your arm and shove a camera in your face, a big smile on their lips. you smile and try to pull your arm away, but they only hold on tighter. panic signals go off and you grimace, your eyes looking around for baekhyun who wards off people, his back to you.
all you wanted was food, and to maybe say hello to some fans, but now a surge of anxiety is coursing through your body and your chest feels tight and the lights are too bright and everyone’s voices are too loud. you want to scream, but you know you can’t, and their grip on your arm is too tight and there are too many phones out. you feel like a zoo animal, and all you wanted was fast food.
you hardly register baekhyun appearing before you, his hand on the shoulder of the person who was previously holding onto you, their grip taken away by baekhyun who shoves them away from you. baekhyun grabs onto your waist and pull you out and away from the restaurant, and all but throws you into the car. you don’t even have your food that you ordered, but you don’t even care. you can hear your heartbeat in your ears, and your skin feels like it’s too much for your body.
baekhyun stews in the corner, practically turned all the way around so his back is facing you. he stares out the window, a fist clenched on his leg. he’s pissed; at you and your stubbornness, the swarm, the situation. you weren’t prepared to go in there with just him, you needed st least one more form of security with you.
you make it back to the hotel quicker than you expected, and get out. you thank your driver and then baekhyun leads you into the hotel, a hand on your back.
he leads you to the elevator, where he finally lets go of you and puts a few feet of distance between you guys. you sniffle as you wait for the elevator to arrive, wiping under your eyes. it still feels like there is a weight on your chest.
you step into the elevator when the doors slide open, and lean against the wall. baekhyun presses the floor you’re both staying on, and stands in front of the door with his hands clasped in front of him.
when the doors open on your floor, baekhyun steps out and waits for you to do the same. his hand is back to its place on you, guiding you through the hall to your room. you pull your key out of your clutch and let yourself in. “could you unzip my dress for me, please?” you ask, stepping out of your heels and tossing your clutch on the bed.
baekhyun curtly nods and steps into your room, letting the door close behind him. you turn around and wait for him to grab ahold of the zipper. you hardly feel him behind you, only when the material of the dress doesn’t feel so tight and your back gets cold. you hold the front of your dress so it doesn’t fall, and you thank him before going into the bathroom to change.
you step out of your dress and pull on a bathrobe securing it tightly. you grab a makeup wipe and wash off your face, discarding it in the trash when you’re done.
you leave your dress in a heap on the floor and exit the bathroom, not expecting baekhyun to still be in your room. big he is, awkwardly lingering by the door with his hands in his pockets.
he looks over at you when the bathroom door closes. “are you… are you alright?” he asks, clearing he throat. you shake your head and he rolls his shoulders back. “are you going to be alright? do i need to call jangmi?” he asks. jangmi is your manager, and she definitely cannot know about you minor anxiety attack earlier.
you shake your head again, staring over at baekhyun. he looks down at his shoes and looks back up, like there’s something he wants to say. “i’m gonna head out,” he says at last. he pulls open the door and you stay standing in the middle of the room.
“thanks for… earlier,” you say and he stops to run to face you.
“it’s my job,” he says simply, and you nod. that’s all you are to him; a job, a task. a problem. but to you, he’s a protector, someone you care deeply for because he has to care about you. for you, it happened naturally. for him, you wrote his checks. “goodnight, y/n.” baekhyun says.
“wait,” you cross the threshold to him, holding the door open. he stops and looks down at you, his signature look on his face: stoic, unreadable. “can you stay with me? just for a little bit?” you ask, hating the vulnerability in your voice.
bakehyun surveys you, taking in your mental state and the tone of your voice. this definitely goes beyond the description of his job, providing comfort, rather than safety. but he can’t help the soft spot that he has for you, the one he’s had for you for a long time now.
he nods, once, twice, and then takes a step towards you, making you move out of the way so he can enter.
you let out a breath of relief, and follow him to the small hotel table. he takes one of the chairs, moving it a few feet away while you take the other, bringing your feet up onto the chair.
baekhyun watches you from the other side of the table—not in a creepy way, or like he’s assessing you, but like he’s waiting for you to make the first move, or say something. but you dont. you want company, not necessarily conversation. so you only look back at him.
you revel in how you still feel completely safe with him, when maybe you should be on edge about being in such an intimate space alone together. even his piercing gaze is comforting.
baekhyun stays with you throughout the rest of the night, the two of you moving in mostly silence, even when you order room service. and it’s only when you lay down, and he can confirm that you’re asleep, does he slip out of your room. but not before he leaves a note that says: sleep well. hope you feel better —B.
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butch-reidentified · 1 year
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hello hello my lovely Tumblr gals!
I've been waiting to post about this until it was like, a forreal sure thing, but I'm SO excited I gotta share the news 🤩
soooo as most of you already know, my wife & I both have serious chronic health conditions, which come with severe chronic pain as well as all the other wonderful symptoms. We have been struggling to maintain a life of working full time, doing things we enjoy to keep ourselves sane, taking care of our 6 pets, and also getting chores/errands/tasks done like keeping the house clean, grocery shopping and cooking instead of frozen meals and doordash, etc. A couple weeks ago, I posted an ad on a roommate seeking page to "rent" out our spare bedroom. Except instead of money, the majority of the rent would be "paid" by helping us out with those sorts of tasks to help us live as close to a normal life as possible. I created a scaled system where the more assistance = the more the reduction in rent, with a very low cap on the money side of the rent bc we really don't want to take advantage of anyone or profit off renting out a room, so just enough to cover the basic costs. The goal was to find a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone who needed a place to live without paying the current horrifying rental prices of South FL, and was able bodied and capable of helping us out a bit (on their own schedule, around their other work/obligations).
I posted it pretty impulsively when I had the idea, thinking not many people would see it or respond to it, just sort of putting feelers out to see if there was any interest in that kind of arrangement. I specified female only (and of course got multiple messages from men). First thing the next morning, a woman who looks about my age sends me a message. She and her gf have been urgently looking for housing since the plans they had made had fallen through last minute, after they were already packed and everything with their lease ending at the end of February.
She was 100% good vibes right away. We messaged for a couple hours straight, just got talking, and intermittently throughout the day. It turned out there were so many strange coincidences between us, it was uncanny. And talking to her felt like talking to a close friend of many years, not a total stranger. That first day I talked to her, really good things happened to me the rest of the day. Solutions to problems that had been causing me stress for weeks or months fell into my lap. I'm not spiritual or superstitious or anything for the most part, but sometimes the universe is just screaming in your face that something is right.
We kept texting, and planned a video chat "wine date" to discuss the arrangement and get to know each other better. We talked for hours, past 2am, and it felt so natural. Never an awkward moment. We have very similar couple dynamics, we like the same lifestyle and hobbies, we have the exact same sense of humor and communication style, the first woman I had talked to and I go by the same nickname, their dog and one of our dogs are very similar breed mixes and born almost exactly just 1 month apart... I could go on. I mean we even buy the same brand of vapes 😅 They're clean freaks who enjoy cleaning together, and one of them is super into cooking and likes to keep an herb and vegetable garden (we have a huge backyard and have been longing for a garden for ages). I looked up their post in the group, which was posted weeks before mine, and they were a perfect match. We were looking for the exact same things in a roommate.
The decision was made that first video chat night (there have been more since). They were abso-fucking-lutely going to be our new roomies. I wrote up a unique lease, month to month like we both were looking for, and had it looked over by a lawyer, who said we're good to go. My wife and I have been gushing about them to all our friends and our parents. We've been calling it a "couples crush" 😂 I told them that, and they excitedly admitted they've been doing the same thing. My wife and I have also been so much happier and more productive and active since all this started.
These absolute angels have even offered to help us get the house clean from where it's at now instead of us rushing to deep clean before they arrive. They seem genuinely empathetic and like they want to help 😭 And we feel the same way about their housing and financial situation. We own the home, which means there's an inherent power dynamic when renting out a room, so I worked hard to talk to them and create a lease that would equalize as much as possible. My wife and I emphatically expressed that we want them to feel like it's fully their home - we remember from renting in the past how it can sometimes not feel like your home. For me, renting was damaging to my mental health. All the rules and restrictions made me feel unable to create a safe-feeling home environment. We don't want to put any restrictions on them when it comes to pets, drilling into walls, painting the room, re-landscaping the backyard, whatever. We also told them they're always welcome to give us feedback, communicate totally honestly with us about any of their needs, complaints, changes they want to the lease, etc.
Soooo with all that said... they're moving in on Friday! We are all counting the days. We already know we're gonna have a ton of fun together. We even agreed to have "family dinners" sitting together at the table a couple times a week 🙈 We are all just so dorky it's beautiful.
And! I accidentally said "gyns" referring to them in a message 😅 so I had to explain that, and they were SUPER interested and want us to teach them about radical feminism. Like??? We couldn't have created a more perfect roommate situation in a mad scientist's lab. I've been working on trusting my gut recently, as it never seems to lead me astray, and every instinct I have says this is Good.
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jlawbenn · 13 days
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UPDATE: thank you for kind messages, comments etc
Haylee was rushed in via ambulance this morning in the wee hours because of a blood nose - she’d already had one last night when I got home from footy and dinner and it was a gusher - she has blonde hair that was stained red in seconds - it looked like a horror scene
However we managed to make it stop and she was tired so she went to bed - I told her younger sister to sleep on the fold out couch in her room too, just in case anything was to happen (Haylee doesn’t like sharing a room with me because I often can’t get to sleep and my phone is too bright)
I went to bed at 2am after watching a couple episodes of Malcolm in the Middle and my sister did too. Something woke me up at 2:30- 3, I wasn’t sure what it was so went back to sleep and then Rohan came bursting into my room, nearly breaking the sliding door down and yelled that haylee was dying
So I rushed in and her blood nose had returned - it was covering everything and when I got her out of bed she slightly knocked into the end of her bed - massive ass black bruise on her side. This is how I know we’re getting so much worse.
I wasn’t taking her to Sunshine because they’d probably kill her and I called an ambulance and Monash was out of the question, too far. I travelled in the ambulance too but the hospital barred my entry and wouldn’t let me in - I was resultant to sitting out the front of the hospital clinging to my phone desperately waiting for a call from any member of the hospital - I made my brother travel all the way to the hospital so she’d at least have something with her - I also called her paternal aunt and left messages etc.
I didn’t get an update for hours - it’s a concrete jungle in there so I guess my brother’s texts and calls weren’t getting through. Great. I kept trying to get back in and in the end they locked the front doors so I couldn’t physically enter the hospital - it was an awful feeling to be to badly punished for defending your daughter years prior when you yourself were just a teenager and had no idea what you were doing.
I went and slept in my brother’s car in the parking lot - but security had a problem with that and sent me back out the front. At that point I felt the hospital were more focused on keeping a worried and petrified mother out than actually caring about their patient.
Hours passed. I found little ways to kill time; I walked down to the Royal Melbourne for their cafeteria food. Said hi to people on the street and asked if they were okay and holding up. Sent my brother photos of Sam De Koning and Taylor Swift in hope he’d show Haylee (I’m on later authority that she had sneaken her iPad when I wasn’t looking so she had heaps of content anyway)
When she came out of the hospital a few hours ago, I nearly fell over because she was in a wheelchair, but had a wicked smile on her face. My brother explained the nosebleed was because of her blood condition and it was indeed getting worse - so I had to call the Monash and beg them to push her up the waiting list - and I asked what Haylee was so happy about and if they drugged her (for record, this kid is as emo as her emo idol SDK and never smiles) and she goes ‘the doctor said I’m not allowed to go to school for two weeks!!!’ (because of the heightened infection risk and how easily she’s started heavily bleeding at the slightest knocks recently)
So there you have it, the almost deathbed nosebleed that made my 9 year old so so happy because she gets two weeks longer of school holidays. Yes, thank you Haylee. We share your great sense of relief. That must mean no footy for two weeks either?!! (I’ll tell her later)
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bloodyfeverdreams · 6 months
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Day 12, 20, 26, 31- Friends are the Best Obvious Solution
Prompts- Insomnia, Found Family, "Sometimes I Get so tired, I Don't Know Myself", and "I thought I was getting better"
Katsuki hasn't been able to properly sleep for a while, having nightmares that leave him unable to get back to sleep until he has to get up again. The squad notices something's wrong, and decide that they're gonna help no matter what Katsuki says.
ao3 link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/51255391
Katsuki couldn’t count the hours of sleep he’d lost in the past couple of weeks. He’d tried everything to help him sleep, all sorts of tea, white noise, melatonin, and even yoga and meditation. Nothing worked. Every day was becoming the same, go to bed at 8:30 like normal, fall asleep, have terrible nightmares, wake up terrified and shaking just past midnight, stare at the ceiling trying desperately to fall back asleep, fail, and then get up at five when his alarm goes off. He’d had this routine since getting to the dorms, it was very similar to his old routine except now he could train and shower instead of showering before getting on the train. He very much liked it, even with his friends calling him an old man for going to bed so early. He never cared about what they said anyways, they had shitty routines of their own, and he just laughed at them when they complained about being tired after going to bed at 2am. His routine was far superior, and let him get actual rest to be prepared for the next day.
Except now, he wasn’t getting any rest at all. He didn’t understand. The nightmares that had started after the sludge villain incident had died down, resurfacing with the USJ and Kamino, but they had died down again. Nothing violently traumatic had happened again, so the fact that they had come back with a vengeance made no sense. It had been months, he shouldn’t be having these nightmares! He’d moved on, everything was different now, and he should be fine!
But he wasn’t fine. Katsuki didn’t do well without sleep. Simple things that he’d never put any thought into, like taking notes or staying awake in class, had suddenly become very daunting tasks that he struggled with every day. It was even getting a little hard to read his own handwriting, though it was usually crisp and clear. At this point, it was only his pride that kept him from going to Recovery Girl or his family’s doctor for some sleeping medication. He was fucking Bakugou Katsuki, and he didn’t need fucking medication to do things he’s always done.
Though, his pride took a heavy blow in favor of the meds when he got his last math quiz back. Katsuki excelled in school, in all subjects, and it was rare that he’d get anything below a ninety-eight percent.
This one was a ninety . Shit.
“Hey, I did way better this time!” Kirishima said happily, shoving his seventy-eight in Katsui’s face. Through the fog of sleep deprivation, he was at least proud of his friend. Especially since he’d worked hard to get all that damn information into Kirishima’s head.
“Finally.” Katsuki muttered. “Bout time you started retaining the shit I teach you.”
Kirishima gave him an abashed but still ridiculously bright smile. “You know, I may learn better without you whacking me on the head all the time. What did you get?”
“Fuck off, that’s my business.” Katsuki said, immediately trying to shove it into his backpack. However, his behavior must have set off alarm bells in Kirishima’s mind, so his stupid fucking best friend tried looking even harder than his casual glace of before.
“Ninety?!?” “Shut up!” Katsuki hissed, his cheeks heating up without his consent.
“Dude I’ve never seen you get a score so low.” Kirishima’s voice was irritatingly worried, and Katsuki hated it. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, keep your nose out of my fucking business.”
“ Something’s wrong.” Kirishima pressed. “You’ve been off lately, like way off. I just thought maybe you were studying really hard but something’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Katsuki insisted.
“Come on, I’m your best friend, you can tell me.” Kirishima said, his eyes gratingly sincere.
“There’s nothing to tell.” Katsuki growled, and thankfully, class was over for the day now, and they could go home. Katsuki just quickly grabbed his stuff, and left, ignoring Kirishima’s urges to talk.
Thank fuck it was friday. Now it was time to stare at the ceiling for long past five am. At least he could still stay in bed however long he wanted to.
Katsuki just went straight to his dorm room, again ignoring all of Kirishima’s attempts to talk to him, and locked his door behind him. His bag thudded heavily to the floor, and he flopped down onto his bed, cradling his head in his hands. Gods, what he wouldn’t do to just sleep. 
His bed was comfortable, his room was the perfect temperature, he’d changed into comfortable sweats and an oversized t-shirt, and he didn’t have school tomorrow so he could sleep in as long as he wanted, and still he couldn’t sleep. Closing his eyes just left him in the dark, and trying to do stupid breathing exercises to calm his mind did nothing. Sleep eluded him like common sense eluded Deku, and Katsuki just lay in bed, wishing with all his might that he could sleep and not getting it.
A knock startled him out of his desperate attempts for sleep, and he just sighed. Impatiently, the knock sounded again.
“Kaaaccchhaann.” Kaminari whined from the other side of the door.  “We know you’re in there.”
“No shit I’m in here, it’s my fucking room!” He shouted back.
“Come on, bro, open the door!” Kirishima was there too apparently. “We wanna hang out.”
“Yeah! It’s friday!” Aaaaand there was Sero. Dammit, he hated when all of his friends ganged up on him. It was always much harder to resist when all of his idiots were yapping at him. “Time for a smash brothers tournament!”
“We’re not gonna leave you alone until you come with us.” Ashido. Great, now the whole squad was outside his door. “So you might as well just give in and come out.”
He sighed again, loudly and dramatically. Fucking hell, his friends were annoying. But playing video games was mindless, and he did at least enjoy it. Maybe it would exhaust him enough to finally let him sleep.
“Fine.” He sighed, and the squad cheered. “But I’m player one, and no one complains about it.”
“Deal!” was chirped and Katsuki reluctantly got out of bed.
Apparently tonight was in Kirishima’s room, so at least he didn’t have to go far. They often cycled through the squad for video game tournaments and movie nights (except his. No one went into his room but him). But this time it was Kirishima’s turn to host, and so they all shuffled into the horrible brightness of his best friend’s room, and all spread out on the only available room to sit, the bed. Katsuki wasn’t sure how, as he didn’t like people coming into his personal space, but somehow, he ended up in the middle of Kirishima’s bed with Kirishima on his right side and Ashido on his left. Kaminari and Sero were sitting on the floor, leaning against his legs. This felt very intentional, but his friends weren’t acting suspicious, and since none of them could act well, he let it go. Maybe he was overthinking it?
He was handed the player one controller, and the others were passed around. The game was familiar enough to be relaxing, yet high speed enough to take his mind off his problems a little bit. He got comfortable and barely noticed it, sagging where he was sitting, body growing lax and complacent with a desperate need to rest. Everything started to fade into the background, the colors began to blur on the TV. His hands pushed the controller buttons automatically, on pure motor memory, but as his surroundings turned to white noise, he forgot that he was actually competing with anyone. His hands slowed as his mind sank into the comfort of where he was, the people around him. His friends’ animated chattering turned to a quiet buzz in his ears, sharp but familiar. He was warm on all sides, and Kirishima’s duvet was surprisingly soft.
Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, yanking him out of his reverie, and the controller was being pulled out of his hands. He was confused until he managed to refocus his vision and see Ashido looking at him with big, worried eyes.
“Okay, Kirishima was right, something’s wrong.” She said.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Katsuki insisted. “Let’s just finish playing.”
“Dude, the game’s over.” Sero said, staring at him with the same worry in Ashido’s eyes.
His eyes flicked to the screen, and it had returned to the selection of characters for the next round. Shit. He hadn’t even noticed. His eyes came back to his friends, and everyone was staring at him. Even Kaminari was giving him an uncertain look.
“Come on, Bakugou, talk to us.” Kirishima said, and the walls Katsuki put up were becoming too exhausting to keep up. The sincerity even he couldn’t mistake for pity was too strong, the room too comfortable for him to be able to resist. He was just so tired. “We’re your friends. You can tell us anything.”
“I’m fine.” Katsuki hissed, his last desperate attempt to get them to back off before his walls fully crumbled. How had he lost so much ground so quickly? He was normally so much stronger than this. But dammit, he was exhausted and keeping up this act just added to his exhaustion.
“But you’re not.” Kirishima said. “You’ve been way off in training, you haven’t been getting your normal scores, and you just zoned out for like ten minutes without even realizing it. That’s not ‘fine’, dude. It’s just not.”
No matter where he looked, he couldn’t escape this sincerity, and he was trapped, with Sero leaning up against his leg so he couldn’t just storm out. Fuck.
“Icantsleep.” Katsuki whispered, his voice barely audible.
“What?” Chorused from his friends.
“I can’t sleep.” Katsuki sighed heavily. “Everything’s fine, I’m just really fucking tired.”
“But… you’ve been going to bed every night super early like normal.” Kaminari said, surprised. “We’ve seen you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you stay up past nine on school nights.”
“I don’t.” Katsuki said. “I just… I don’t know. I get into bed, and I just can’t sleep. I mostly just lay there.”
His friends exchanged worried looks.
“How long has it been since you last got decent sleep?” Kirishima asked.
Katsuki just shrugged, since honestly at this point, he really didn’t know.
“Have you tried, like, melatonin or tea?” Ashido asked.
Katsuki nodded. “Yes, I’ve tried those, I’ve already tried all the fucking obvious methods. Meds, tea, all the different noises, I even tried fucking yoga . Nothing worked. I just can’t sleep.”
“So is it like a mental thing?” Kaminari asked. “I sometimes can’t sleep because my thoughts are going too fast.”
Katsuki just shook his head.
“Well then, do you know what it is?” Sero asked. “That’s keeping you up? Because it sounds like it’s not a physical thing, if those other things didn’t work, and you say it’s not a mental thing, so I feel like there’s a puzzle piece missing.”
Katsuki just shrugged, not wanting to admit the nightmares, but his cheeks turned light pink anyways. Dammit.
“Okay, come on, what are you not telling us?” Kirishima asked directly. “I know that face, Bakugou, that face means you’re hiding something.”
“It does not!” Katsuki shot back.
Kirishima just raised an eyebrow. “How long have we been friends? And next door neighbors?”
“I keep telling you fucks, we’re not friends, I just can’t get rid of you.” Katsuki said, curling into himself unconsciously.
“Since the USJ at least.” Kirishima said, answering his own question. “I know you, man. We know you.”
“And that face means you’re hiding something.” Ashido finished. “You always get the tiniest blush when you know something we don’t know.”
“I do not.” Katsuki grumbled.
Several versions of “yes, you do” were echoed from all sides.
Katsuki just slumped harder. Fuck his friends. How the fuck did they know him so well? He hadn’t even known them a year! And yet, they knew him better than anyone in his life, outside of his parents and maybe Deku.
“Fucking fine, I have nightmares, okay!” Katsuki shouted, the jagged remains of his internal walls becoming like porcupine quills, trying to stab his friends with his anger. “I don’t fucking know why, but I’ve been having them basically every single fucking night, and there’s no goddamn reason for them! Will you shits leave me alone now?”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kirishima asked, placing a hand on his shoulder for a moment.
“What the fuck would I say?” Katsuki snapped. “So you could call me a fucking pussy who gets nightmares for no fucking reason?”
“We wouldn’t call you a pussy because you get nightmares, Bakugou.” Kirishima said. “I get nightmares too.”
“Yeah, we all do.” Sero said, with Kaminari and Ashido nodding along.
His confusion must have been written on his face because Kirishima continued. “Dude, I’ve gotten them ever since Kamino. And the Shie Hassaikai raid made them come back for a while too. I still get them every once in a while.”
“I got them after the USJ,” Kaminari said, “and mine came back for a while too, after that whole fiasco on I-Island.”
“And not to mention Nabu Island too.” Sero added.
“I still have nightmares about that woman.” Ashido shuddered, and Katsuki knew she was also talking about Nabu. “Sometimes I even have nightmares about failing out of school.”
“Oh gods, girl, same.” Kaminari said, leaning back on Katsuki’s leg to look directly up at Ashido. “I have that nightmare the night before every test.”
Katsuki unconsciously filed that information away for later, he’d come back to that when the next test came around, but mostly he was still confused. “But none of you ever said anything. You shits literally talk about every subject under the fucking sun and you’ve never mentioned that. I would’ve noticed.”
“I mean, I guess not, but like.” Kirishima shrugged. “That doesn’t mean we’d call you a pussy for having them. You’re too hard on yourself, bro. Nightmares happen.”
“Not to me.” Katsuki hissed. “I’m fine , there’s nothing wrong with me!”
“We’re not saying anything’s wrong with you, Bakugou.” Ashido said, placing her hand on his shoulder for a moment, like Kirishima did.
“Nothing has to be wrong with you for you to get nightmares.” Sero said. “Honestly, with all the shit you’ve been through, I’d be shocked if you didn’t get them.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine getting kid-uh, I mean battling villains the way you did and not getting nightmares.” Kaminari recovered quickly after almost fucking up, reminding Katsuki of what he did not like being reminded of . Kamino could go die for all he cared, and he hated any reminder of it with a passion.
“But we haven’t had any battles lately.” Katsuki snapped, his hatred for his own weakness coming out as a spat at his friends. “There’s no fucking reason for this.”
“I don’t think nightmares need a specific reason to happen, bro.” Sero shrugged. “You just get them. There doesn’t always need to be a reason.”
Katsuki huffed, unhappy with that answer.
“We can figure out the reason tomorrow.” Kirishima said, successfully putting a pin in the conversation. He was good at that, at getting Katsuki to come back to shit when he felt better. “Right now, I think we just need to focus on helping you sleep.”
“I don’t need anyone’s fucking help.” Katsuki growled.
“Uh-huh.” Kirishima was also good at calling him out on his bullshit. Dammit, when had his stupid best friend gotten so good at that? “Come on. Lay down. You’re staying with me tonight.”
“No.” Katsuki said, very confused at to what the fuck his friend was even planning. “That’s dumb.”
“Fine, I’ll just tackle you.” Kirishima stated seriously, and honestly, Katsuki believed him.
“Whatever.” He grumbled, pulling himself back a little so he could properly lay down on Kirishima’s bed. For someone who’s entire thing was hardening, Kirishima’s bedding was unexpectedly soft. “Now what, geniuses?”
Apparently ‘now’ was everyone climbing onto the bed with him, Ashido pressed against his abdomen and the wall, Kirishima on his other side, and Sero and Kaminari back on his legs. They weren’t on him enough for him to feel trapped, but enough for him to feel that they were there. It felt oddly comforting.
“Okay, now close your eyes.” Ashido said.
He just glared up at her.
“You have to close your eyes to sleep.” She rolled her eyes. “Unless you sleep with your eyes open. Wait, do you sleep with your eyes open?”
“No, I don’t sleep with my eyes open, that’s weird.”
“Okay, so close your eyes.”
Katsuki rolled his eyes at her, and he sighed unhappily, but he did as she said.
“Breathe in for four seconds, and then exhale for seven.” Sero said.
“Tried that.” Katsuki replied. “Didn’t work.”
“Do it anyway.” Sero said, and he could hear him rolling his eyes. His bastard friends had a lot of nerve to roll their eyes at him, considering what they were doing. “You need to relax, and stop fighting us. Otherwise, you’re never going to get to sleep.”
“I’m never going to sleep with all you fucks watching me either.” Katsuki mumbled.
“We’re not watching you,” Ashido said. “We’re helping you.”
“Same thing.” Katsuki muttered.
“Just do the fucking breathing exercises.” Sero snapped.
Overdramatically, he took a big breath in, and blew it out. Afterwards, he started counting to four and seven as he breathed, and his body did start to relax. His mind was still very much wide awake but at least his body wasn’t as taut as a rubber band anymore. It felt a little strange, as he hadn’t felt anything when he’d tried this on his own, but it was working so he didn’t question it.
A hand suddenly came to his hair, brushing through his spikes, scratching lightly. His eyes immediately snapped open, and he found the hand belonged to Ashido. 
“Fuck are you doing?” Katsuki asked, but he was taken aback a little by his own voice. He sounded like he was half-asleep, but he knew that was untrue. His mind was still very awake.
“Shush, and keep your eyes closed.” She lightly chastised him. Katsuki didn’t even notice that she hadn’t answered his question.
Instead of standing up and telling his friends this didn’t work either, his leaded eyes just slid shut. His mind sank back into the comfort from before, a quiet voice of anxiety and fear effectively silenced by the warmth and safety his friends emanated.
Distantly, he could feel hands pull at his feet, taking his shoes off for him, and he didn’t have the words to respond to them. The fingers in his hair became his only real focus, feeling the gentle strokes of Ashido’s hand as she lightly dragged her nails over his scalp. No one but his parents had ever attempted anything like this, but he found he didn’t really want her to stop. Her fingers seemed to turn his exhaustion into a soft brook across his body, seeking out tension and washing it away. After an amount of time he couldn’t distinguish, the only things he could feel anymore were his friends comforting weight against him, and Ashido’s fingers in his hair. There were soft noises around him, gentle but garbled. Katsuki only caught the words ‘sleep’ and ‘night’, and couldn’t decipher any of the rest.
In an instant, Katsuki’s mind had gone from being completely awake to hanging by a thread, and Katsuki wasn’t sure when that had happened. Sleep hit him like a freight train, the thread of his consciousness didn’t stand a chance, and he was asleep between one breath and another.
After being so used to waking up shaking and sweating, Katsuki didn’t notice he was actually awake at first. He woke up slowly, an easy rise to consciousness not tainted by fear and terror. He felt warm on all sides, with heavy pressure all over his body, and he was so comfortable that he could’ve slipped back into sleep without much issue. Even more surprising, he felt rested for the first time in what felt like weeks. This was one of the best sleeps of his life. He idly wondered what brought it on after those debilitating nightmares.
Oh yeah. His friends. He could hear their soft breathing, feel their bodies all over him. Ashido was still sandwiched between him and the wall with her legs across his waist, Kirishima had flopped almost onto him, and the idiot’s legs seemed to be hanging off the bed, Sero and Kaminari were all tangled up on his legs, using his thighs as pillows. Kaminari was drooling on him, of fucking course the idiot drooled, but he was so comfortable that he let it go (for now). It took a bit of work to extract his hand from the pile that was him and his friends, but he checked his phone that was still in his pocket. It was a little past 5. Wow, he’d actually slept through the whole night.
Even with all the sleep he'd gotten which made him feel sooooo much better, he was still exhausted. His sleep deficit had only increased the more this went on, and he had a lot to make up. So, since no one was awake, he just snuggled in deeper to his friends, pressing into all of them, and he let the safety of his friends (who were practically family to him at this point) take him right back to sleep. And he slept long after everyone else had woken up, though they all still stayed cuddled up to him, their presence keeping the nightmares away.
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norcalbruja · 9 months
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Not-Fun with Hypnos
What's up, today/yesterday (August 5, but I posted this at almost 2AM) was incredibly stressful! First of all, I woke up to a power outage at 10am, and I had to hunt around for the new landlord's business card for several hours while I worried about the food in the fridge getting too warm. (Don't worry, I found the business card and the power's back on! No spoilage!)
While I was dealing with that, I waited about an hour past a scheduled job interview, only to get the response that they'd already filled BOTH positions I applied for.
That would have been nice to know an hour or so BEFORE my interview, not afterward. Fucking hell.
Dionysus recently went Therapist-Like on me a couple of weeks ago, and he said that since I'd been asking the spirits to try and help my insomniac ass get to sleep with mixed success, he figured it was time to ask Hypnos for help. I'm constantly trekking to an Otherworld cave to try and "soundproof" my way into sleep, so Dionysus was like, "if you're gonna sleep in a cave all the time, you might as well go to the cave owned by someone whose JOB is to put you out."
Behind the cut for Freaky Shit!
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Hypnos is a young-looking brunette with a very soft and high-pitched voice. He's also very laid-back and sweet. So laid-back that he often sounds like a stoner, but that is beside the point.
He lives in a cave with a giant mass of flowers and greenery covering the ground. I was surprised to find this is literally his home in mythology, when I checked Wikipedia to make sure my gnosis matched up with known records.
Dionysus was like "Babe, I tell you all the time that you're not crazy, why did you check Wikipedia right now? DON'T ANSWER, I KNOW YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF PEOPLE CALLING YOU CRAZY."
And I was like, "But I also thought I was mistaking Hypnos' name for a Pokemon, so it wasn't ALL for that reason!" (Note: Hypno is the Pokemon, Hypnos is the Greek god.)
So the not-fun part about Hypnos' cave is that the plants, at least for me, TRY TO CLIMB ALL OVER AND CARPET YOU IN THEM.
Naturally, I freaked out when they started doing that and I went, "NONONO I AM NOT DOING 'THE LAST OF US' REENACTMENTS!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM ZOMBIE!!!"
Hypnos kept assuring me, "Honey, they're not trying to hurt you! Just listen to the plants, they're really happy and they know you want to sleep! Relax!!!"
Then the Green Man showed up for like, emotional support. He was also assuring me that the plants are nice, and they are not going to eat me, and the whole point of getting to Hypnos' cave is to let yourself go and sleep.
But as my dear readers probably know by now, I am anxious as FUCK even when I'm not freaking out. I have a hard time relaxing anywhere.
And Hypnos' plants REALLY like the Green Man, so they were just rooting in and tearing his skin up. And he started vomiting plants while he was trying to help me calm down, so THEN the Water-Spirit tried to help.
But the Water-Spirit's real form is made of water, and the plants don't seem to mind too much that he's seawater. While they started climbing all over HIM, they started "reverting" him from his human form back to his waterspout/man-made-of-water form. And he was like "No, plants, stop! I'm trying to calm her down, and I can't do that while I'm splashing everywhere!"
So with two out of three Emotional Support Men accidentally scaring me more once they got there, my first visit to Hypnos was a disaster.
But there's nothing else I can do right now, so I've been trying to go to Hypnos' cave and like, ACTUALLY go to sleep there at some point.
To his credit, Hypnos has pegged me for "the chick who can't sleep because she's got Too Much Stuff going on in that head." And not just because Dionysus brought me over--he senses how I'm always restless and unhappy all the time.
Rather like Dionysus, he knows that a lot of my unhappiness would be gone if I could just get a fucking break, have an art career, and afford my own place, but for now I have to go to Hypnos' cave and let the Sleepy-Time Plants try to engulf me.
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throwsomecheeseonit · 13 days
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20 years of Clean (part 7)
Brandon patted his belly as he looked at his empty plate. "I'm so full." He let out a deep breath. "I am too. That was delicious. Thank you so much for dinner." Grinning at him with my mouth closed, in case there was something stuck in my teeth. "You're welcome sweetheart. By the way, I forgot to tell you. I got you something." I shook my head, "You don't need to get me anything Brandon. Really. It's been nice just hanging out and getting to know you over these last few weeks." "I know I don't need to get you anything. I wanted to get you something. Besides its in my hotel room back in Tampa. I'll have to give it to you tomorrow." I rolled my eyes at him. " Don't roll your eyes at me young lady. Come here." He turned his ball cap so it faced backwards. A throbbing traveled from my chest to a direct spot between my legs. He was sitting and leaning against the arm of the couch. "Right here," He patted his chest and opened up his arms for me to rest against him. "Now it's getting late. Let's start the movie." He wasn't wrong it was getting late.
It must've been the combination of a full belly and the radiating warmth coming from his solid body that made me relax. The last thing I remember was listening to the sound of his heart. The rhythm of his breathing, chest rising and falling. Wondering how I got this lucky. To be here in this moment.
I woke up to an empty house and my heart dropped a little bit. The sun was peeking thru the blinds of my living room, and I was sprawled on the couch. The clock on the wall displayed 7am. The feeling of disappointment overwhelmed me. I fell asleep. How could I be so dumb? Granted it was almost 1 am when we turned the movie on but he I only have 48 hours with him. I wasted it.
The only thing that would slightly help me get over this feeling is Coffee. There was note sitting on top of my coffee pot. A smart place to put something that you would want to be noticed.
"Michelle
You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. You're cute when you sleep even if you snore a little 😉. Just kidding. I can't wait to see you later. Sorry I just left but it was around 2am and I needed to get some rest before Tommy and I leave tomorrow. I have to be there a lot earlier than you guys. Warm Ups. Stretching. All of that. The hotel is called Le Meridien. Just ask for my room and you guys can put your stuff there. I'll text you the info. The tickets for the game will be at the box office. Just say your name and they'll hand them over. Looking forward to seeing you. I already said that. Bye.
BrandonX"
A wide toothy smile formed across my face. Damn he was cute. It was also news to me that Hales and me were driving separately but it did make some sense. I'm sure Tommy would want to get some kind of VIP access or something. Maybe Brandon will be able to give him a tour or maybe just some bro time.
_______________________________________________________
The ride there was fun. It took about 2 1/2 hours but Hales and I blasted some music and sang. We discussed how my night went, how excited she was for the game and getting to spend more time with Tommy. I could tell that she was smitten with Tommy. They spent progressively more time with him as the weeks went on. She kept the dirtier details close lipped but they definitely were getting it on and going on dates regularly. Having adult sleepovers. You get my drift.
Just as he said he would Brandon texted me the address to the hotel. "Your gift is in my room. Make yourselves comfortable. I'll talk to you later. Going into team meeting."
I didn't send him anything back because of the mentioned meeting. Tommy was in the hotel room when we arrived. "Well, hey there hot stuff. Hey Michelle." He walked over to Hales and gave her a big wet kiss. Which made me feel weird. Oh well, I have to get used to my best friend being in LOVE. She wouldn't admit to it, but I know she was.
"Brandon left you something," Tommy pointed to a bag next to the tv and went back to making out with my best friend. There was a card that said, "Wear it tonight- BrandonX". Pulling at the tissue paper frantically I reached the bottom of the bag. There was a Royal Blue something. When I pulled out the piece of fabric it became clearer. It was a Kansas City Royal jersey with big white letters on the back that spelled out Sklenar and the number 21. I was smiling and biting my lip so hard it started to throb. This was the coolest thing anyone has ever got me. Let alone, his name was on the jersey. I just couldn't believe it. I must've made some kind of squeal or something because Haley came over with a level of concern. "What is it?!!," she asked. "It's his jersey. Well not his Jersey but it has his name on it. He wants me to wear it tonight. Isn't this the coolest thing?" Joy exuding from me. "I want one of those," Tommy joked. "That is so cool. I want one too." Haley patted me on the back. "He's like claiming you. This is like next level romantic stuff," Hales reflected my joy. "Oh stop. It is not." She was right but something inside of me wanted to play it off like it was no big deal. Maybe because Tommy was round. Maybe because everything was turning out too good to be true.
_____________________________________________________
It was a warm night. We are in Florida and the humidity can be brutal. We were all glad that it was a night game, and the glaring sun wouldn't projected onto us.
Haley and Tommy were still in their love bubble, but they tone it down at least for a little while. I received one last message from Brandon before we went to the field.
"Hold on my phone is vibrating." The music blaring in this sports bar made it incredibly hard to hear. I'm going to go outside I shouted at Haley. She nodded and turned her attention to the beer she was nursing. A voicemail notification popped up on the home screen of my cell phone. "Hey Michelle. It's Brandon," I could tell he was smiling leaving this message. "Hi Michelle, muah muah muah." A teammate was taunting him in the background of the message. "Ignore that guy. We're going to warm up, but I wanted to say I hope you enjoyed the gift. I'll be on the lookout for you tonight. Ok, got to go. See you soon babe." The way he said babe, it was a purr that vibrating thru my whole central nervous system. Not sure if he would even be able to answer his phone I just sent him a text back.
"Thank you so much for my jersey. It is the best gift I've ever gotten. I will wear it proudly tonight. Can't wait to see you live and in uniform 😉. Good luck tonight. Have a great game."
The jersey fit great and was wearing it proudly. Wearing my boyfriends name on my shirt was quite the proclamation. Was he, my boyfriend. I mean we've seen each other twice in 6 weeks so that's hardly enough to be boyfriend/girlfriend. Who knows. I'm too old for this shit. Either way, even if it had only been 6 weeks I felt like such a schoolgirl with a crush, but I didn't mind that feeling. I haven't had that feeling since.... well, him, 20 years ago.
"Why are you smiling so hard," Tommy asked as I made my way back inside to our table. "It was Brandon. I didn't hear my stupid phone ring, but he left me a message." "I haven't seen you this chipper since, forever." Haley gave me a side hug as I gulped the last of my beer. "He really likes you ya know. Don't be breaking his heart or anything." Tommy looked me in my eyes with no trace of humor. "I wouldn't Tommy. I really like him too." He gave me an approving head nod before declaring that we needed to get to the baseball field before it got crowded.
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sapiowoman28 · 3 years
Text
I can, I can't : Part 1 of 3
Pairing: Jaemin x female reader
Gener: best friends to lovers au, smut, fluff
Warning: mentions of sex, masturbation (Female)
Summary: Jaemin and Y/N are part of a group of best friends. One day, things change.....
They called themselves the dropouts. Brought up in good Catholic families, active within the Church community as kids, Catholic school education... the works. They then grew up and stopped going.
It wasn't some group thing were everyone agreed to stop going altogether at the same time. It was more like, one by one, they stopped going.
Jeno was the first to stop, at 15, after his parents got divorced. He became angry and withdrawn. By 16 he was mixing with the wrong crowd - think underaged drinking, partying, It was only after a close brush with the law that he - literally and figuratively - sobered up and decided to focus on healthier pursuits like education and sports. Thankfully too, the old Jeno that everyone knew and love came back.
Then were was Renjun. Renjun was always the one who wasn't really into religion anyway. He was more apt to believing in aliens and ghosts. His mother kept him going for as long as she could. By 18 he was out.
Haechan, as he got older, became a sporadic goer. After moving out on his own to live with the guys and Y/N in an apartment closer to campus, he stopped too.
Y/N? The older she grew, the more she learnt about the importance of gender equality. The more she embraced feminism, the more she found some church teachings hard to swallow.
All was left, of course, was Jaemin. Now Jaemin, he was still a "good boy", faithfully going to Church every Sunday. It wasn't that he was extremely religious. It was more that he had gone to Church every single week all his life. To not go one week felt odd and different.
The good thing was, nobody made fun of him or tried to stop him from going. Jeno even woke him up on Sunday mornings before he went for his 10km runs just so Jaemin would get to mass on time. (Mass is what Catholics call a church service.)
Y/N enjoyed hanging out with her friends. She was like one of the boys. It had always been like that since they were young. Everyone who knew Y/N knew she was not to be messed with. Not only was she capable of kicking anyone's balls, she also had four bros who would come after their ass too. In fact, guys who were interested in dating her would often try to get in good standing with the four guys so life would be easier for them. So it was hardly surprising that Y/N had never had her heart broken.
The problem was, Y/N was the one breaking hearts. Commitment wasn't her strongest suit, and more often than not she'd break off with whoever she was seeing with very trivial reasons, First she was dating Xiaojun. Then 7 months later she broke it off with him because apparently he "sucked at making out". The truth was, Xiaojun was good enough in bed but Y/N wanted to date the more exciting Yang Yang after meeting him at a frat party her gal friends dragged her to and making out with him. So Yang Yang it was. For a while she was happy. But then 10 months passed and Yang Yang was history. Now it seemed, was some guy called Lucas.
"Now, before you guys misunderstand, Lucas is not my boyfriend." Y/N declared over a pizza with Jaemin one Saturday night. "He's just... a friend..."
Jaemin raised his eyebrow. "You mean a friend with benefits? Cos based on what we have to hear every single Friday night, none of us think you guys are friends. Speaking of which.... Jeno wants me to talk to you."
"Let me guess, you lost rock paper scissors. Again. And that's why you're the one speaking to me."
"Well, we have house rules to follow..." Jaemin started, looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"Jeno and his stupid house rules." Y/N sighed. "What now? I can't bring Lucas home?"
"It's getting kind of weird for all of us...."
"You guys bring girls home all the time!" Y/N protested.
"I don't." Jaemin said. It was true.
"Jeno does. Haechan does. Even Renjun! Remember that weird Yoga chick he was seeing?"
"But they're not loud. Lucas sounds like he has a loudhailer in his throat and it's weird hearing him......we end up having to use headphones."
"I've tried asking him to tone it down. But he gets too excited when I blow him..." Y/N grinned as Jaemin covered his ears with his hands, not wanting to hear the details.
"Look, Jeno says he appreciates that YOU have gotten less loud since that time you were dating Yang Yang. But Lucas he's just.... too expressive. Can't you do it at his house or something? It's not the moaning as much as the dirty talk, you know?" Jaemin's voice was getting tinier and tinier.
"If Jeno has a problem, why can't he tell me himself?" I know it's not Haechan or Renjun who are complaining. Haechan's always gaming with his stupid headphones on and Renjun's always listening to music on his noise cancelling ones."
Jaemin sighed. "Don't put me in a tough spot, Y/N..."
He looked at her with puppy dog eyes.
"Fine. I'll speak to Lucas. But I'm only doing it cos of you, cos you good Catholic boy and virgin and all."
Jaemin rolled his eyes. "For the last time, Y/N, I'm not a virgin!"
Lucas took the news surprisingly well and he was happy to have her hang at his apartment instead. Which turned out to be a better thing, since his apartment was bigger and his housemates were never around. Y/N wondered why she insisted on making out at her apartment to begin with.
"I'm surprised Jeno was the one with the problem.." Lucas said after they had made out and she was snuggling in his arms.
"He has all these rules. The worst part is he makes Jaemin speak to me instead of telling me directly."
"It makes sense. You and Jaemin are close."
"I'm close to all four of them."
"No no no." Lucas said, "Each of them has a different thing with you."
"Explain, Mr Wong." she said, looking up at him.
"I think Jeno knows both of you have strong characters so he has Jaemin speak to you instead when there's an issue so you guys won't argue. He prefers to keep things light, so the most you're gonna get is Jeno making fun of you for having a thing for foriegn men."
"What about Haechan?"
"Haechan's your gaming bestie. You talk about gaming, and game together. But he'd kick the ass of anyone who gives you trouble."
"I think I'm least close to Renjun."
"I don't think it's that. It's more Renjun is kind of in his own world. He's like that with everyone. But he feels close to you guys."
Y/N was impressed.
"What about Jaemin?"
"Jaemin's like your total opposite. But you guys get each other. I like him. He's a good guy."
"Yeah he's a virgin." Y/N joked.
"He's a good looking guy! Heck, if I was a chick I'd go after him man!" Lucas said, his eyes expressive as always.
"Well, he's a good guy. I've never seen him bring a girl home."
"Come on man, when it comes to hormones, even good guys turn bad."
Lucas was driving her home when she got a call from Jaemin.
"Wassup?"
"Are you alone?" Jaemin asked. He sounded strange. "I need help."
"Are you ok?" Y/N asked. "I'm with Lucas. Where are you?"
"Oh. I'll call someone else..."
"Don't be an idiot, Jaemin. Where are you?"
"Hospital." he said. "Can you come? Just don't tell anyone anything. Not even Lucas."
She found him in a bad state at the hospital. Sitting in a daze, blood stains on his crumpled shirt. Y/N had never seen Jaemin look so small.
"Hey" she half whispered. He looked up.
"I can go now. I got an x-ray done. My nose is not broken. And it's finally stopped bleeding." he said. "I already collected my medicines. Mostly painkillers."
"What happened?" she asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." he said.
"Let's get home and get you out of these bloody clothes. And then you can tell me after you've had a good night's sleep."
"Can i sleep in your room tonight?" he asked. It was an unsual request. "I'm feeling quite shaken."
"Yeah. Sure. Let's do that."
It was 2am and he still couldn't sleep. She could feel him toss and turn next to her.
"Jae."
"Sorry."
"No, I can't sleep either."
He sat up.
"I need to get my ID card back. Can you follow me tomorrow?"
"Your ID card?"
"I was fooling around with a first year chick in her house. Her parents came back and caught us. Her dad took my ID away, said he was going to lodge a police report against me for tresspassing his house and taking advantage of his daughter. Well, that's after he beat me up."
Y/N sat up. This was interesting, she thought.
"She's 18?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"18 is legal you dumbass." she slapped her forehead.
"I thought it was 21.."
Y/N groaned. "I can't believe you're so stupid."
"But the trespassing thing?"
"They don't have a case Jae. I'm sure you can prove you were invited there. Even if she lies and said she didn't invite you. They can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt."
"I'm so glad you're studying law."
"And Jaemin?"
"What?"
"It's illegal for him to detain your ID. YOU can report him."
"Oh. I didn't know that."
"Can you go sleep now that you know you're not actually in trouble?"
"Yes. Thanks Y/N." he said, turning to face the opposite side.
But Y/N couldn't sleep. Her mind was running a million miles a minute. Jaemin made out with someone. What was he like when making out? Was he gentle? Was he sweet like he always was to everyone? Was he a dom or sub? What did he do with the girl? Did he have fun?
Her own thoughts made her sick. Feeling a stir in her stomach made her sick. This was her best friend she was thinking of. She had to stop. Maybe she needed a shower.
Taking a towel with her to the bathroom, she shut the door, stripping quickly and getting under the hot jets of water. Damn it, Y/N, she scolded herself. Not Na Jaemin. What happened to your thing for Chinese guys?
She soaped herself trying to escape the mental picture of Jaemin, between the girl's thighs, lapping on her clit mercilessly, his eyes twinkling like they would whenever Jeno or Haechan said something witty. Suddenly, she was thinking of him between her legs, lapping at her core.
She brought her fingers to her clit, rubbing them from side to side. She leaned against the bathroom wall, moving more aggressively. She was wet. Biting her lip she pushed two fingers into her pussy, thrusting them in and out, the sound of the shower masking the wet noises as her fingers moved.
The muscles in her stomach were tightening. She could no longer hold back, thinking of Jaemin thrusting into her, looking at her with an intense gaze. She wanted him bad.
Slowly she came undone, as she moaned into her hands while cumming.
Suddenly, someone was knocking aggressively on the bathroom door. Y/N froze.
"I need to pee!" Haechan shrieked. "Hurry! I need to go back to my game!"
"Give me 2 minutes I'll be done." Y/N said, drying herself with her towel and getting dressed, mind still dazed from thinking about Jaemin. She knew their friendship was never going to be the same ever again.
She was just wondering how easy or hard it was going to be, to get Jaemin to join her on the other side.
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alanis-altair · 3 years
Text
dark hallways and potions | marauders x platonic!reader
summary | Moony, Padfoot and Prongs find their best friend sneaking through the abandoned corridors of Hogwarts at night.
pairings | marauders x platonic!reader, slightly Sirius Black x fem!reader
warnings | it's actually total fluff, but mentions of wounds and bruises, domestic abuse and a little self destruction aaand English isn't my first language as you may have already noticed so I'm sorry for my lame ass writing and every mistake I did (maybe you'll find the name Alanis somewhere instead of y/n because I always write those fics with my name first, I'm sorry if so)
word count | 1910
...
It was far after midnight as the not so tired Sirius Black gave up and opened his gloomy eyes in a deep sigh. He couldn't make it to sleep; nightmares keeping him up, that caused him to turn left and right, desperately trying to find a good sleeping position to make him feel comfy. But all of his attempts didn't work.
So the black haired boy looked around. The moon was gently shining onto his covers, while soft snores came from his three friends. The loudest noise was definitely caused by James, not that it surprised Sirius. Still, the young boy kept quiet, not wanting to wake up Remus, who just had had a rough night.
Sirius started to get bored and glanced at his bedside table. Only two things had managed it onto the table; his squiggly wand and the infamous Marauder's Map. Shortly after, Sirius mumbled a 'Lumos' and illuminated the dorm a little. The spell followed another one, including some of his favourite words: 'I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good' and the Map showed him whole Hogwarts.
With curious eyes the boy watched every step of every person awake, until he stopped at a very certain name. y/n y/l/n. His y/h/c haired best friend was wandering through the abandoned corridors, well aware of the consequences she had to face if she got caught. She moved towards the Tapestry Corridor, near the Dungeons, where the potion storeroom was located.
What the bloody hell was the infuriating girl up to again? And why would she need some potion ingredients? Sirius had no clue. He felt like he didn't have a choice other than waking up James, which is what he simply did.
"Prongs! Prongs!", he screamed in a whisper, making his good looking friend mumbling and turning to the other side of the bed.
"For fuck's sake, wake up, you lad!"
"What is it, Sirius?", James replied in a screaming whisper, too. He didn't sound amused or happy to be woken around 2AM.
"Looks like Mane is doing some mischief without us, can you imagine?", Sirius shortly explained, which caught James' attention.
"Ugh, not again...", the brunette sighed.
"Well, I think we should check on her, now!", Padfoot proposed, earning a brief nod from his best friend.
"'Right...", James said and got up. Both of the Marauder's quickly dressed and grabbed their wands. They were about to leave their dorm as a raspy voice stopped them.
"You're not going anywhere without me", Remus started, "especially not if you're that bad at whispering!", he exclaimed, voice held low to not wake up Peter, too.
Padfoot and Prongs turned around surprised, but remembered Remus' Werwolf senses and that it was impossible to whisper without him hearing every single word. The two boys sighed; Sirius a little mad at himself because he was eager to grant the young wolf some sleep.
The three boys sneaked almost soundless through the Gryffindor Common Room and used some of the secret passages to avoid the open corridors.
"So, what do you think y/n is doing again?", James asked curiously and a little tired. How many times had he and his friends protected the little girl from getting herself killed? He couldn't remember.
"What she's always doing", Moony answered, "hiding something from us or preparing some pranks on Snape."
It sounded simple, but it wasn't. y/n had, similar to Sirius, great problems with her family, who was trying to make a perfect pure blood wife out of her; beating her up badly when she wouldn't listen to what her father told her to do.
The y/e/c eyed girl hid her bruises from the Marauder's every time, not that it would stop them from finding out, though. But still, she was bloody stubborn and determined to keep her problems all to herself, causing the four boys to worry a lot.
She was a loyal part of the Marauder's, too, and never hesitated to sacrifice herself if James, Sirius, Remus or Peter were in any danger. She nursed all of Remus' wounds and scars and helped him to accept his flaws, while y/n practically was Sirius' therapist and James' advisor for everything that had to do with Lily Evans. Even for Wormtail she took her time and put effort in integrating him more into the group, although Peter secretly accepted that the girl with the mane resembled more of the Marauder's spirit than he did.
Knowing that y/n creeped through the black hallways again made not only Sirius uncomfortable. The three Marauder's quickened up their pace, following every of the girl's steps on the map. Some minutes passed, when they were close to the Tapestry Corridor. Three wooden wands were uplifted; enlightening the dimmed corridor and revealing a small back, covered by y/n's hair.
"Mane? Hey! What are you doing here?", Sirius addressed the girl and y/nstartled. Quickly she turned away from the door she was about to open with shaky hands.
"None of your business, Black! Could ask you the same question, couldn't I?", was y/n's rough answer.
"Well, we're not the ones sneaking through the hallways at night!"
"Well, James. In fact, you do. Right here, right now", the y/h/c haired countered.
"What Prongs was trying to say was that we're only here for you. You're the one doing stuff without informing us", Remus caught up, "and I'm sure you're hurt again by the way your hands are shaking."
y/n cursed the tall boy with the freckled face for his gift to read people like a book. He was attentive and good with human behaviour, exposing the unofficial fifth Marauder more often than she would like to.
"Ugh, I hate you. Y'all", y/n commented and catched Sirius' worried look upon her.
"No, you don't. You love us, all of us", James corrected the tiny girl and grinned.
"So, are you going to tell us what you're up to here?", Sirius demanded to know, again.
"Wanted to brew a potion, nothing more...", y/n admitted. But of course this wasn't enough of an answer for Sirius fucking Black.
"For what purpose?"
"As painkiller, certainly. Just look at how her body is all tense", Remus replied instead of y/n herself. The girl sighed resigned and leaned her aching body against the cold of the door behind her.
Almost simultaneously, Sirius tuck his wand into his waistband and stepped forward to lay a hand on y/n's waist and back. She hissed in pain, but relaxed when the warmth of Sirius' body reached her own shivering figure.
y/n leaned into his touch and was secretly more than grateful her friends discovered her; not sure if she would've made it without them. The last encounter with her father wasn't a nice one.
"What about I and James get the ingredients for your potion and brew it, while Sirius puts you to bed, huh?", Moony made a proposal and got a weak nod from the typical strong girl. Her legs started to feel like jelly, as all of the pressure left y/n at the presence of her friends.
Without hesitation, Sirius lifted his best friend into his muscular arms. Immediately y/n curled up and placed her vibrant head against his shoulder; absorbing all of his warmth and smell.
"Hold on a minute...", James suddenly interrupted, "is that Padfoot's joggers with Moony's flannel?"
This thought came into Prong's mind as his wand gleamed onto y/n's body, searching for any outer wounds or bruises. Just the moment he said it, Remus and Sirius laid eyes on the almost sleeping beauty.
"Yeah, that's definitely my joggers! Been searching them for a couple of weeks now!"
"I guess our Mane here felt free to use our closet...but we can't be mad, Padfoot. Just see how good it looks on her", Remus noticed and giggled after.
"You're probably right...", Sirius said before heading towards the boy's dorm again.
Unsure James and Remus were left alone, watching the storeroom door as if it would open just by their gaze. Which it didn't.
"Any idea what we need for the potion?", Prongs questioned and observed Remus and the door.
"Kinda...", Moony whispered, drawing attention to the correct opening spell for the door.
"I mean, we should take her to Madame Pomfrey. Her pain seems bad, so..."
"You know we can't do that", the young werwolf stated, "her parents will know and it'll get worse. I dislike this as much as you do, but look at me. I'm the perfect example that our potions do their work, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here.
Remus' calm voice convinced James and he nodded in agreement. "Fine, then let's open this bloody door."
...
Meanwhile Sirius was carrying a half asleep y/n to his bed. She didn't move on the way back, nor did she talk to him. But his eyes already found some deep blue and purple spots on the skin of her wrists, giving him an answer. He'd absolutely kill her father if it'd stop him from hurting the precious girl in his arms. Just as all of the boys would defend y/n.
James had already thought of asking Mane to move in. With Sirius and so on, so she was safe. But it was something he knew y/n would be too modest to accept; she'd feel bad after, which is why Prongs kept quiet.
"Here you go, little one", Sirius whispered as he tucked y/n into his bed. She let out a content groan because of his smell surrounding her. She snuggled into the soft pillow, looking as cute as hell.
"Hey, y/n, you need something else?", Padfoot asked softly while caressing her cheek.
"Just you", she aspirated tired. Sirius' heart grew warm at the words of her. It meant the world to him that an angel like y/n, put on the hell of earth, still managed to melt his heart and giving him so much love, even though he wasn't sure if he deserved it.
Fulfilling her wish, the boy with the long dark hair laid next to y/n and pulled her into his arms again. She let out a relieved breath and buried her head into Sirius' chest.
He was almost asleep too, when James and Remus returned from getting the ingredients they needed for the healing potion. They eyeballed Sirius and y/n position knowingly, giving Padfoot a certain look, that he decided to ignore.
Moony and Prongs made quick work of the potion, not even waking up Peter, who was sleeping as deep as a stone, while Sirius watched the sleeping girl on top of him.
"Portion's ready. You should wake her up so she can sleep through and feel better tomorrow", Remus mumbled eventually. Sirius did as he was told and started to stroke y/n's hair, in order to carefully wake her up.
"Mane? y/n? C'mon, love. Wake up and take your medicine."
"Huh?", y/n murmured sleepily, not understanding what was happening around her. Remus sat down next to her and Padfoot, holding a small bottle of glass in front of her face.
The y/h/c haired girl thanked the boy with a grateful look and took a sip without squinching up her face at the bitter taste of the liquid.
"Thank you all, boys. For wasting your time to sleep and caring for me...", y/n said with a small grin.
"Always", they responded and smiled before going to bed, this time all of the five Marauders.
...
annotations
Mane is the Marauder name for the reader I came up with because I thought it was fitting (I'm sorry if you don't like it)
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kingandfireheart · 3 years
Text
"My money would be on you."
Summary: Nesta and Azriel discussing the necklace debacle, with some nezriel Brotp moments and Azriel processing his feelings toward Elain.
Words: ~2K
Prequel to: What is it that you want, Elain?
Here's a snippet:
Azriel had forgiven his brother, but kept replaying the events of the night in his head. Did he misinterpret Elain's scent? Did Rhys not realize she was a willing participant? Did his brother really think so little of him? Did Elain hate him now? Why did she return the necklace? He knew he wasn't worthy of Elain, but then again, no one was. She was... something else. She nearly took his breath away as a human, and now as high fae, she was devastatingly gorgeous. But what was inside defied all expectations - yes, she was sweet, and kind, and full of light, but under the surface: she was fierce, brave, clever, and funny. She never once balked from him. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.
“You haven’t been sleeping” Nesta observed from her chair in the family library.
Azriel looked up from the reports he was scouring through. Usually, Azriel worked in his room, allowing Nesta and Cassian the space they needed to explore their new bond. With Cassian gone with Mor to deal with the Illyrians and reinforce the wards around Emerie's shop, he had learned to enjoy Nesta’s quiet company after dinner.
“I haven’t” Azriel admitted, running a scarred hand through his hair, while schooling his expression of surprise into his usually mask of indifference. She had a way of reading him that he wasn’t used to. Most people feared him or dismissed him entirely. Only Mor had seemed to be able to get him to talk, but that had grown increasingly infrequent, with Mor's visits to the continent and the distance she had put between them since the war.
“Nightmares?” Nesta asked more quietly, as she set down her book: A romance about an Illyrian and a river nymph, she had told him when they sat down in the library.
He studied her. Maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe it was the way that Nesta observed him and seemed to see things others missed, maybe it was the fact that he knew she wouldn’t judge him that made him say: “I used to have night terrors, they are a product of my childhood. I’ve had them on and off throughout the centuries. I thought I had kicked the habit, but about fifty years ago, they came back. Have been worse lately.”
He knew Nesta understood his meaning, Feyre and Cassian had told her enough. Since Rhys went Under the Mountain, the entire Court had lost something of themselves. For Azriel, it was his ability to sleep.
“You don’t take anything to help you sleep?” Nesta asked carefully. He knew she was being careful, Nesta knew that if she asked too much, he wouldn’t answer, find an excuse to disturb the peace they had found in working together.
“I have tried, but I'm either out for days, or barely functioning to the point where my senses are numb, it doesn’t help with spying.”
“Is that why you’ve been training in the middle of the night? Gwyn said she caught you up there at 2am on solstice.”
Azriel made himself chuckle. He knew Gwyn would tell Nesta, but didn’t expect her to hold onto it for so long. The priestess was his friend now and she was persistent, curious, and stronger than most people gave her credit for. “Did you ask Gwyn why she was there at 2am?”
Nesta made a face at him and said nothing. He knew Nesta had likely guessed what had him in a mood on Solstice. She had shown him as much that day. Nesta also knew about how Gwyn had taken to late night training. The same way Nesta still climbed the stairs, Cassian took to the skies, Feyre stayed up painting, and Elain strolled through her garden after a long day. They all had their ways of coping.
“Gwyn showed me a necklace someone gifted her. She asked if it was me. She said “a friend” had left it with Clotho, but no one else had come to the House that week.”
Azriel kept his face indifferent and willed his shadows to stay calm. Any reaction would be an admission, one he wasn't sure he should make. He knew where she was going with this. She knew he had left the necklace for Gwyn, and probably guessed how much he had spent on it - the necklace was worth more than most of the presents he gave on Solstice, certainly not fitting for a casual gift for a friend. He prayed Nesta wouldn't read into it. Azriel wasn't fully comfortable with the amount of female attention he received every morning. He was distant and aloof during training, but his shadows often informed him how closely the priestesses watched him. He ignored them, had been ignoring them since Cassian had asked him to help with training.
He didn't need to be thinking about any females, he reminded himself, especially after the talk with Rhys on Solstice: You will leave Elain alone. If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her. He had snarled in response. Rhys rarely resorted to personal attacks. Or threats, which he had also made: If I see you panting after her again, I'll make you regret it.
Azriel had forgiven his brother, but kept replaying the events of that night in his head. Did he misinterpret Elain's scent? Did Rhys not realize she was a willing participant? Did his brother really think so little of him? Did Elain hate him now? Why did she return the necklace?
He knew he wasn't worthy of Elain, but then again, no one was. She was... something else. She nearly took his breath away as a human, and now as high fae, she was devastatingly gorgeous. But what was inside defied all expectations - yes, she was sweet, and kind, and full of light, but under the surface: she was fierce, brave, clever, and funny. She never once balked from him. A thing of secret, lovely beauty.
Nesta's voice roused him from his quickly spiraling thoughts; he needed to get a grip before he revealed too much. “It had a rose on it - exactly like something I would get for Elain.”
Azriel realized that he was trapped. If he made an excuse to leave, she would know, if he brushed it off, she would know. If he hid in the shadows, she would know. If he said nothing, she would know. If he told her too much - she would know. But...Nesta was his friend - she had made that clear a week ago, when she took him down to see the heart of the house. "Just because Rhys said the House is ours, I don't want you to feel any less welcome. This is your home, and you're our family, but you're also my friend. If you would like to be," She had said. Azriel was so touched by the tender offer, he couldn’t say anything. He just wrapped his arms around Nesta and hugged her. In the days since, the two had joked about their alliance against Cassian's insanity.
Azriel decided to come clean. He knew Nesta wouldn’t interfere. Things with Elain were still tentative, and even if she was cordial with Lucien, she wouldn’t ruin her new relationships in the court. Maybe he could use a friend, especially around Elain and Gwyn. After five centuries of using Cassian as a buffer with Mor, of course his brother's mate would take up the role. In 550 years, he never thought jewelry would be the source of his problems.
He sighed, steeling himself for what was to come. Then it all came tumbling out: “I bought it for her. Gave it to her on Solstice. We... had a moment, but nothing happened. Rhys interrupted. I winnowed away. Found Gwyn in the training ring. Elain gave the necklace back. I didn't want to hold on to it, so I left it with Clotho.” He covered his face with his hands as his shadows gathered around him, shielding him from Nesta's gaze. “I fucked up. ”
After a long moment, Azriel willed himself to look up. Nesta’s expression yielded nothing - no judgement., no surprise. He wondered if Elain had already told her what had happened. Out of nowhere, she laughed. “You two would look amazing together. I don't know why I didn't consider it until now, Prythians most beautiful couple," she mused.
Azriel frowned at her, feeling the color blooming on his cheeks. He could deal with her judgement, but the teasing was too much.
Nesta collected herself, as if considering everything Azriel had just admitted to - what it meant for her friend and her sister. "So that’s why both of you were brooding after Solstice? What did Rhysand say?”
Both of you. He knew had hurt Elain. He shouldn't have let things go so far. Azriel knew his High Lord wouldn’t have told anyone what happened, so he could lie. He could say Rhys called him away to spy or something, but he couldn’t let Nesta think it was intentional to leave Elain in the hall, hurt and confused. She was fiercely protective of her sisters. “I’ve been ordered to stay away from Elain," he finally said, unable to keep the weariness out of his voice.
“Because of Lucien?” Nesta asked. “She’s not his property.” Nesta’s anger was clear - whatever kernel of power she had left shone in her eyes. Even after accepting the bond, Nesta held on to her reservations against pressures of the mating bond, claiming I chose you, Cass. Elain hasn't chosen anyone, no matter how many presents the fireling brings, when Cassian had brought it up at dinner. The subject didn't come up again.
“No, she isn’t. But keeping Lucien happy is essential to half of our alliances. The Court can't risk losing Autumn, Spring, and Jurian and Vassa. It would only isolate us in the war that's coming.” Azriel forced his voice to remain level. A war was coming, it was stupid to pretend otherwise. As much as he hated that Elain was a pawn in all of this, it made sense to play things safe, to keep her safe.
Nesta looked like she was considering the risks and said, “Last I checked, Rhysand said there was always a choice here. It doesn't make sense to take Elain's away. This is bullshit." Her brows furrowed, and then she added, a bit of mischief in her tone, "You could always just glamour your scents - it's not like you haven't done that before.”
He shadows stretched toward her, dancing in the space between their chairs, amused that she seemed to know about his past lovers. Azriel just blinked at her, the only show of surprise he allowed. Nesta's reactions were always so unpredictable, even knowing the stories Cassian had likely told her. He couldn't acknowledge that comment - Azriel had been doing it for centuries to keep Cassian from hounding him about his whereabouts and details about his companions. Even if a glamour could work, he had already decided.
He would not disobey a direct order from his High Lord, especially after Rhys had mentioned the consequences. This was different than spying - he could count on one hand that amount of times Rhys had threatened him for disobeying. “I have my orders. I won’t go against them,” Azriel said.
He would stay away from her, if only for Rhys's sake. He would never repay the debt he owed his brother. For saving him. For sacrificing himself. For giving him this life. He would kill and torture and spy to keep him and his family safe, to let his brother have this happiness after years of pain, of shouldering a burden too big for any one to carry themselves.
Nesta looked at him, as if she saw each of the thoughts going through his head. “You deserve happiness too, Az.”
Azriel gave her a small smile, one he knew she would see through. He turned back to the reports in front of him, hoping this would end the conversation. A few minutes passed, and he could still feel Nesta watching him his shadows confirmed as much.
He met her gaze as she said. “I won’t say anything, even to Cassian. Thank you for trusting me.”
He nodded to her - he did trust Nesta. He trusted that Nesta had shown him the house’s heart was to show her own - to show how similar they were. Darkness that they could acknowledge, but keep in check. They both settled back into their reading in silence.
The clock struck 9: about time for Cassian's return. Mor would winnow him back to the house soon enough. Nesta rose, closing her book, and smoothing out her dress. As she walked toward the door, she gave him a conspirator's smile and half-whispered, “If I was still a betting woman, my money would be on you. I’ve never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you. Not even that lordling”
Azriel couldn’t help but smile at the confidence in her tone. He didn't let himself wondering whether the lordling was Elain's mate or her former fiance. He was still in awe at how Nesta had gone from an angry and miserable person who lashed out any anyone who tried talking to her to this strong warrior who understood him, who would give everything for her family. If Nesta could come back from that dark place, maybe he could let himself hope.
Hours later, when Azriel had finally resigned to sleep and he settled into bed, he saw the medicine bottle and earbuds on his night stand. He had tucked both away into a drawer after Solstice, but the House must have decided to take matters into its own hands. The faelights blinked twice as if to say good night.
Nesta was right, the House was a gossip and a busybody. Azriel chuckled to himself, saying "Good Night House."
For the first time in months, Azriel finally slept.
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darling-i-read-it · 4 years
Text
Hassun
2x03
Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 
Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist
Word Count: 2k 
Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems, jail, dead bodies
Author’s Note: It is 2am. Second wrench has been thrown. 
I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 
Official Episode Summary : As Will's trial begins, his colleagues have to pick a side. The case takes a chilling turn when someone starts recreating the crimes he's accused of.
I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 
Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll​
(not my gif) 
@/theladyaysha made most of these gifs
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You stared in the mirror of your home. Your hair wasn’t working with you but with the music in the bathroom you felt a sense of calm. You fixed the bracelet you were wearing and adjusted the jacket you had put on over one of your more formal dresses.
Hannibal looked in his mirror, buttoning up his shirt. This was a day he had presented himself to attend for a while. Although he wasn’t quite sure how it would turn out he was prepared for it. Perhaps.
Will had to look at the bars in his cell and hope that his tie was on correctly. You did his ties and he had never actually properly learned. But he was more worried about how the day was going to go. 
The three of you took a deep breath at seemingly the same time in three different places. 
-
The courtroom was cold. You walked inside and caught the eye of Hannibal who had an empty seat beside him. You wanted to sit next to Alana or someone but you couldn't’ see her. You just didn’t want to sit alone. 
You weren’t sure if it was appropriate but you walked over to him and sat down wordlessly. Hannibal glanced at you but you just held your clutch in your lap, looking forward. You could feel Hannibal look over at you.
“I hope you don't' mind,” you whispered. He shook his head.
“I understand.” 
One of the side doors opened and Will walked in. His eyes looked elsewhere and you wouldn’t blame him if he was off fishing somewhere. He caught your eye and Hannibal’s. He gave you no emotion but you gave him a small reassuring smile. 
  By the time the trail began you were already on edge. Hearing words come out of a ladies mouth, speaking the worst of your boyfriend was something you never imagined you’d do. 
Eventually Jack came out and you leaned against Hannibal, almost involuntarily. Hannibal turned to you a bit but didn’t say anything, perhaps just reading your emotions. 
“Rather than being tormented by the work he did, Will Graham enjoyed the cover his role at the FBI gave him to commit his terrible crimes,” Marion Vega, the lawyer said to the courtroom. You tensed but Will didn’t seem to react. Granted you couldn’t really see his face.
“I don’t believe that to be true,” Jack said. You raised an eyebrow. You turned to Hannibal and he looked equally surprised. 
“Did Jack just say something...sane?” you whispered so only he could hear. Hannibal scoffed quietly.
“Agent Crawford?” Vega asked. 
“Will hated every second of the work. Didn’t fake that. His girlfriend harped on me for weeks and continues to do so. She didn’t fake that. He hated it and I kept making him do it,” Jack stated. You nodded, agreeing despite no one looking at you. 
“Why then, when you gave him the opportunity to quit, did he refuse?” she asked.
“Because he was saving lives. I was warned by more than one person if I pushed Will, I would break him. I put checks and balances in place, then ignored them. And here we are.” You were astonished. 
“Looks like he did hear you,” Hannibal muttered. 
After Jack stepped down everyone started to file out. You weren’t sure if you were allowed to talk to Will but when his lawyer ushered you over you came happily. 
“Leonard Brauer, you’re the girlfriend yes?” 
“Last I checked.”
“She’s the girlfriend,” Will said, rather stoically. 
“I want you to be prepared to testify. I don’t have you on right now but I’m hoping to get you in to testify for character,” he said. You nodded quickly.
“Anything I can do. I’m working with Alana as best I can,” you said honestly and Brauer nodded as well. 
“That’s much appreciated.” You turned to Will and he met your eyes. You gave him a kind smile.
“I like your hair,” you said. He laughed quietly.
“Thanks. I like your dress.” 
“Thank you.” 
Brauer got handed a package and he started to open it. He dumped it out on the table as you and Will stared at each other and an ear fell out. You were barely surprised.
“You know, if I had a dollar for everytime I saw a severed ear…” you said quietly. 
-
The ear laid in front of you. You were standing beside Hannibal, Bev, Price, Zeller and Jack who all were looking at the ear curiously. 
“One thing’s for sure. Will Graham didn’t do it,” Beverly said. You nodded although no one expected anything else. 
“Although, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Zeller said. You let out a stiff sigh and Hannibal nudged you a little.
“The timing is deliberate, choreographed to drop the ear at the start of Will’s trail,” Jack observed.
“Such a gift has great significance,” Hannibal observed.
“A gift,” you muttered. “Interesting way to put it.”
“From who?” Jack asked.
“Wil claimed someone else committed the crimes he’s accused of,” Hannibal suggested. “It’s what Y/N believes.”
“Will said that someone was you,” Jack whispered.
“Perhaps he was half right,” Hannibal said and you turned to him, glad to hear that. You and Hannibal were not in the best speaking terms right now but you understood you had a common goal. Zeller looked annoyed. 
“You gotta be kidding me.” 
-
Hannibal sat across from Will at a table. 
“It seems you have an admirer,” Hannibal suggested. 
“It seems you kissed my girlfriend and suggested she love us both,” Will said, his voice monotone. 
“Yes.”
“You aren’t going to deny it?”
“I care deeply about you and Y/N. I believe that someone else may have committed these crimes and I believe we may have aligned wishes.” 
“That gives you no right to kiss my girlfriend.” 
The two of them stared at each other. Hannibal noticed that Will did not seem to be angry. He seemed more confused, perhaps even amused.
“That is not the priority here,” Hannibal stated simply. “You got an ear in the mail.” Will nodded.
“Are you assuming I’ve given you permission to continue to pursue Y/N?” 
“Are you?” 
Will was caught off guard a bit but bounced back quickly. 
“I don’t know.” 
A beat of silence.
“How far would you go to help me?” Will asked. 
“It hadn’t occurred to me to send you an ear,” Hannibal said quietly. “But I’m grateful and intrigued that someone has.” 
“Gratitude has a short half-life.”
-
You walked with Hannibal into a charred house. 
“Wanted to give us a warm welcome and still leave something to find,” Jack said as you looked over the dead charred body over antlers. It heavily resembled the pictures that you had seen on your kitchen table, just after the copycat killer stuck. The murder that presumabley Will had done
“An arresting piece of theater,” Hannibal said.
“It’s Will Graham’s greatest hits,” Zeller said.
“Are we addressing the elephant in the room? The charred, mutilated elephant right over there,” Price said. 
“Could we have been that wrong?” Jack asked.
“Yes,” you whispered.
“No. We couldn't,” Zeller countered. 
“The evidence we found was immediate and almost presentational. May as well have been gift-wrapped,” Bev said.
“That’s what Will said about Cassie Boyle when she was found in that field. “Field kabuki.””. Jack was having doubts. You could feel it.
“There wasn’t any evidence before Will was apprehended and there hasn’t been any since,” Bev muttered. 
“What impact could this have on Will’s trial?” you questioned. Jack took this and thought about it before a moment. 
“Hopefully a lot of impact.”
-
You stood in the room with Alana, Will and Brauer. 
“I’m confused,” Alana said. “We are-”
“We are heading one direction and now, we are heading another,” Brauer said.
“You’re going to abandon your defense strategy, the entire case you’ve built...mid-trail,” Alana muttered. She turned to you. “You’re okay with this?”
“It makes sense to me.”
“Exciting, isn’t it?” Brauer said, walking over to the table that you were all sitting around. “Not only reasonable, fashionable. There’s a killer on the loose, demonstrating all the hallmarks of Will Graham’s alleged murders. Somebody out there likes you,” he said to Will. 
“This is just because you honestly don't think he did it,” Alana said, only to you.
“I am a woman of my word,” you said. 
“She somehow got it where she wanted, which she does often enough,” Will said and you nodded happily.
“Did you kill someone to do it?” Alana asked sarcastically. 
“No but someone did. Someone who likes Will enough,” you muttered.
“I won’t have to call you in the stand,” Brauer said. 
“Who will be taking the stand in my place?” 
-
Hannibal took the stand. You watched the hope crash and fall before your eyes. The defense was ruled inadmissible and you felt an anger in your heart that you hadn’t felt in a while, if ever.
You stood up as the court was dismissed for the day. You walked up to the judge as Will was taken out. 
“May I talk with you?” you asked. You put on your best girl smile.
“About this case?” 
“Perhaps?” He let out a sigh. He wasn’t supposed to but you were pretty. Perhaps this would go in his way. You tried to look as ditzy as you could as he nodded a little.
“Come to my chambers.”
-  
You couldn’t think. Your hands were bloody and you were shaking. The door behind you swung open and Hannibal stopped in his tracks at the sight he was looking at. 
You, blood on your hands and the bashed in head of the judge. You shook your head and continued to shake, the blood staining your clothes.
“I..I didn’t…” you started but you were such in shock you couldn’t say anything. Hannibal walked forward. He wasn’t going to say that he wasn’t coming to kill this man but seeing you with his dead body was something he was not prepared to think about this afternoon.
“I’m surprised it isn’t Jack Crawford,” he said quietly. You had enough heart to scoff at him. 
“He was gonna kill Will,” you said very quietly. Hannibal nodded and looked down at the body.
“I’m going to clean this. The BAU are going to come and look over a crime scene that I made for this and I’m going to make it look like the man who is recently trying to help Will out. You will not come with me to see the body.”
“I have to. You can’t go without me,” you whispered. Your eyes seemed elsewhere. Hannibal took off his coat and put it over you.
“Wait in my car.” 
-
Forty five minutes later you were in Hannibal’s home, freshly showered and wearing his clothes. You were staring at your hands, trying to figure out how you had killed somebody. Your anger had gotten the best of you but how? Bashing someone’s brain in...you could barely think about it now.
“I want Will,” you pouted, voice breaking. Hannibal walked up to you and sat beside you on the couch.
“You can’t tell him.”
“I have to. I tell him everything,” you said, looking at Hannibal. 
“Don’t tell him this.” 
You shook your head and looked over at Hannibal, still feeling like you were shaking. Hannibal put his arms around you and you put your head on his chest. He held you until you fell asleep.
2x04
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marymccartneyphotos · 3 years
Text
Paul Weller in conversation with Mary McCartney: ‘We used to pinch a lot of Beatles songs’
For this Woking-born son of the 1970s, there were four father figures who underpinned everything, from his first guitar to an inspirational career that continues to expand and explore more than 50 years later. On the release of his latest solo record, his third in three years, we asked Paul Weller to pick through the past with an artist who knows better than any how The Beatles shaped the generation that followed. By Dylan Jones; 4 June 2021 from British GQ Magazine
(edited for Mary McCartney content only)
For Weller’s latest GQ appearance, we thought it would be good to put him together with an old friend, the photographer Mary McCartney. Which is what we did...
Mary McCartney: So, Paul, when did you become a Beatles fan? When you were 12?
Paul Weller: When I was five years old. I had some of the singles, because my mother bought them, but the first time I saw them was the Royal Variety Performance in 1963, when I was five. From the time I saw The Beatles I loved music and then when I was around age 12 I started trying to learn to play guitar. Me and my mate had a few lessons for a bit and got a few weeks in, but the guy was trying to teach us how to read music, so we got bored with that. And as soon as we learnt enough chords we stopped the lessons and we just start doing it ourselves.
MM: When did you actually start writing songs?
PW: As soon as we – me and my mate Steve Brookes – learnt the three or four chords. I’m still mates with him now. We started a band and we just learned together and we just kept swapping whatever we’d learned in the week, swapping back and forth. It was just me and him and then we just gathered up people as we could find them. There was never any doubt in my mind that’s what I would do and, even at around 12, I thought that was definitely what I was going to do for a living. Well, I didn’t know it could be a career, I just knew I was going to do music. So by the age of 14 we were playing pubs, working men’s clubs and social clubs with The Jam. But your dad’s band was the catalyst for all of it.
MM: You know, I’m directing a documentary about the history of Abbey Road Studios at the moment, so I’ve been taken back to those times. There is a photograph of me aged three months on one of the sofas in the studio, so I was there before I can remember being there. Whenever I walk in through the doors I still get a funny feeling. But I’m learning a lot about The Beatles’ recording process, though. What was your writing process in the early days?
PW: When we started to write songs we just used to pinch a lot of The Beatles songs. They were very basic, just us taking our first steps as songwriters. I was actually very passionate at the time, but I didn’t have the skills to articulate that passion. That kind of developed. Our first songs would have been nonsense songs, just “My Baby Love Me” stuff... But, like every other fledgling songwriter, I just started off by aping other people, like The Beatles did, like Dylan did. Everyone starts out copying other people.
MM: I assume you recorded your new album during lockdown?
PW: I did. I had about four or five tracks left over from [last year’s] On Sunset and they were just lying around, unused. So I started working away, chipping away, trying to put together a new batch of songs. As ever, I recorded them all in the studio down in Surrey, just me and a guitar singing along to a click track. If I couldn’t record with the band, I’d send the recordings to them and they’d play their parts and then send them back. It was a very odd process, but it worked. However, when we could finally all record again together, it was like the first day of school after the summer holidays. It was great. The writing process was actually the same as it always is, but because I knew I didn’t have any live work for the foreseeable future, we just created all this space. I think the lockdown was actually hugely influential in a way, as all the quiet made me appreciate nature in a way I hadn’t done for quite some time, maybe ever. I could really feel and hear and see nature again, it started to take over. I loved hearing the birds sing and not seeing any aeroplanes in the sky. It helped me think about things I would never normally think about in any situation. I felt more in tune with nature. I had a thought that if we weren’t here, if we all disappeared, which I’m sure we will do one day, the earth would just reclaim itself and that it will always be here and we won’t.
MM: It was such a nice feeling, actually stopping and looking and appreciating, not rushing around. I was lying in bed one night in the middle of London. It was 2am and it was so quiet it felt like we had gone back 100, 200 years. I couldn’t hear the rumble of the underground and it was almost as though cars hadn’t been invented.
PW: How was your lockdown, Mary?
MM: Mine was good, but we’re not here to talk about me. I’m grilling you today. But mine was good. Well, I say it was good, but it was unnerving. I think, on a global scale, it was just unnerving because it was like living in a science fiction movie. I think the main thing a lot of us benefitted from was having to slow down and not being able to just go and do things. So, in that sense, it wasn’t a bad thing. I was obviously worried about people’s health and the economy, but, like you, I really got in touch with nature. I did a lot more photographic work outside. And, of course, I started to prep for the Abbey Road doc. What’s the perfect recording scenario for you?
PW: Well, I love my studio and, to be honest, I’d be quite happy to never come out of the place. I could quite happily stay there forever. I bought the building in 1999, but it’s only really been the past 15 years or so that we’ve really got it together, with the sound and the vibe and the equipment. I’m continually making little acoustic adjustments to the room. We’ve got a drum kit set up all the time, as well as a mic’d piano, so it’s always ready to roll. I can play guitar, obviously, as well as bass and piano, but I’ve never really enjoyed playing the drums, because I can’t sing and drum with any conviction. It’s a different art altogether, playing drums. I like drummers who play the song, who can play the tune and who aren’t trying to do their own thing. That requires a certain amount of discipline, a different discipline: not playing too much but playing the right thing. Your dad is a good drummer.
MM: Yeah, he is. Mum introduced me to a song he played drums on years ago, called “My Dark Hour”, by the Steve Miller Band. He’s credited as “Paul Ramon” and he does backing vocals, guitar, bass and drums. It was recorded in Olympic Studios in London towards the end of 1969, after an argument Dad had had with the others over Allen Klein becoming their manager. The others had gone off and he said Steve Miller walked in and asked if he wanted to play the drums on this track he was recording. I think the drumming on it is so good, but you can tell he’s letting out a lot of tension.
PW: I love that first solo album of your dad’s, the one with you as a baby on the back. That’s probably one of my favourite records. It was lo-fi before lo-fi was even talked about.
MM: I love the rawness of it, as it’s just so personal. I still listen to McCartney and Ram a lot. They shot the album cover up in Scotland. They were horse riding and he zipped me up in his jacket. He put me in the jacket so I was safe, as he was going riding. I love that picture from a photographic point of view as well, as it’s very real. It’s taken at the end of the day, during the golden hour. It’s so natural.
PW: Now, what was it like growing up, then, as a daughter of a Beatle?
MM: Well, it was more like growing up as a daughter of Paul and Linda, because they were such a great couple. But,
also, they were such adventurous people. So, we were kind of following them around and going on lots of adventures. We went on tour with them and we really only stopped when we needed to go to school. So I have lots of memories of travelling as a girl. I even remember going on the double-decker that they used as a tour bus in 1972. The seats on the upper deck were replaced by mattresses and bean bags.
PW: I assume it was your mother’s inspiration that made you want to be a photographer...
MM: I think so, as I think I just always saw her taking pictures. She had such a casual style too. She didn’t do a lot of setting up and neither do I. It’s just so much nicer when you connect with your sitter and when you just casually take pictures. I much prefer that and I certainly know that you don’t like to have your picture taken in a very set-up kind of situation. What really got me into becoming a photographer was looking at Mum’s pictures from the 1960s. They were about her being with someone and taking pictures and very much not “This is Jimi Hendrix”. Again, casual. When I became a photographer, I took Mum’s talent for granted. She would take pictures out the car window and then they became these books or a print on the wall. When I started doing it myself I’d put the camera up and I’d be like, “Dad, can you turn the car around so I can take this picture?” And he’d be like, “No.” She would take pictures so effortlessly and I didn’t realise there was a knack to it. Mum and Dad would treat everyone equally; I do remember that. We were always surrounded by people, so I suppose that’s why I think I am a bit of a people person. I like meeting people and I like connecting with people, but I still find I’m quite shy about it. I find it stressful, but I like it. But I could never in a million years get up on a stage, ever. Even thinking about it makes me feel like fainting. When did you first walk out in front of a big crowd? How does that feel? Is it just feeling that adulation and love and appreciation and then giving that back? Does that feel really healthy? I always think when it works perfectly, it just must be such a healthy feeling.
PW: It’s almost a weird thing, because just prior to going on stage, especially in the hour before, I’m in bits. I’m so nervous and so don’t want to be there and want to go home, and then within minutes of actually being on stage, as soon as that first tune strikes up, I automatically feel as though this is completely where I’m supposed to be. It feels like the most natural, most comfortable, Zen-like place you could possibly be, it’s so weird. I’ve always felt nervous before going on stage. That’s never changed. I mean, it’s got a little bit better as I’ve got older, but not much. I think I need to have that feeling. It was weird, because there was a time when I tried to stop drinking – before I stopped completely – and when I stopped I suddenly wasn’t nervous before going on stage. And I didn’t like it. It felt really odd.
MM: Isn’t there something superstitious about this?
PW: No, I don’t think so. I just think it gives you an edge. Those nerves can make you edgy and I think that’s important for me.
MM: And then did the nerves come back?
PW: When I started drinking again they did.
MM: But now you’re not?
PW: When I finally stopped drinking it took me at least two years to get used to that feeling of going on stage totally sober and straight. And now I love it. But it took a good two years to get comfortable, as it was really odd at first. I’d be on stage and I’d notice so much, like there’s a guy in the front row who’s wearing a green shirt or something, and now I don’t feel that at all. Now it feels natural and I have a greater appreciation of it. That’s the other thing as well, getting more from it and being more conscious of what we’re doing.
MM: Growing up, watching Mum and Dad on stage just felt natural. But I’ve seen you play a few times and it makes me realise how much I couldn’t do it myself. There is such great energy and it’s really entertaining and you look completely natural, but I wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable in that position. Also, to me, it feels like your music has to be played live. I went to a concert before lockdown and the person was so vacant and not connected to the audience and, because of that, it made me nervous. You could tell they were going through the motions, that it was an act. They had no connection at all. Whereas when I look at Dad on stage he’s all about connection. I think I had taken it for granted before that, but when you see someone who doesn’t connect, you realise how important it is.
PW: I know some people who turn up just before they go on stage and as soon as they finish they get in the car and they’re off. I don’t understand that either. It’s a far bigger thing than that for me, because I’m looking for that connection. As much as the audience might be, I am as well, and my band too, because I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes and there are some nights where you get so connected together by an audience that this thing just grows and grows. It transcends the moment.
MM: It’s like magic.
PW: It’s something special. The last time I played at the Fillmore in San Francisco, a couple of years ago, it was like that, and it wasn’t because of gear. It was almost like we took off, like the whole room just lifted up.
MM: Have you got a ritual for after the show?
PW: No, not really. No.
MM: My dad has this sandwich and a Margarita, because he doesn’t eat before he goes on. He waits until after.
PW: I have a cup of tea these days. In the past, I would have got off my nut, but I don’t any more. But if you have a gig like that and that becomes your benchmark, you’re always looking to get back to that moment, which is not always possible. But that becomes the thing you’re always searching for, to find that connection. We’re always striving for the spectacular. It’s the same with record companies. Sometimes you have to compromise, but what you really want to do is pursue your own passions. It was more difficult when we first started, because the record company tried to step in more and tried to guide us to do this or that. In the early days of The Jam they even suggested we cover a 10cc song. We said, “No fucking way is that going to happen.” You’ve got to stick to your guns. You’ve got to pursue what you set out to achieve.
MM: Fashion and clothes feel important to what you do, maybe because they make you feel a certain way to be able to perform?
PW: Yeah. But although I was too young to be really involved in the 1960s, I still lived through that time and that whole thing has never gone away for me. I love that period and it informs a lot of what I do, including how I dress. The whole look and sound of that time is just really formative. I don’t feel I’m stuck in that time, but it will always be the cornerstone of everything I do. I just thought it was such a brilliant time for music and fashion and art and all that stuff.
MM: What do you think it is about it? Is it experimentation?
PW: I think so. It was those postwar years, coming out of all that austerity, that bleak black and white, grey world – large parts of the country were still like that in the early 1960s. There were still bombsites. There was still slum housing. So it took a long time for Britain to become modern, but when it did, it was explosive.
MM: Dad describes it as it all suddenly going technicolour.
PW: Yeah, I think that’s true and you just see the clothes and music expanding. Men stopped wearing demob suits and started wearing all these bright-coloured clothes.
MM: And the pill came about and made life a lot easier.
PW: Then the other pills came a little bit later and helped expand everyone’s horizons. These people were pioneers. And also look at the art world – Peter Blake, David Hockney, Bridget Riley. It felt as though everything was becoming more modern and opening up and becoming different and colourful. I was only a very tender age, but, nevertheless, that influence was of great importance and value and always has been. Punk was probably the first time I experienced that freedom. We missed out on the 1960s, had a lift with Bowie, but after that it was largely a cultural wasteland. I was always looking for when I thought it was going to be our term. The 1970s were still very much in the shadow of the 1960s until punk. And then it all blossomed. Then it all started to make sense.
Fat Pop (Volume 1) by Paul Weller is out now.
Producer: Grace Guppy. First assistant: Pedro Faria. Digital technician: Alexander Brunacci. Make-up: Jane Bradley. Retouching: The Hand Of God
32 notes · View notes
floralseokjin · 4 years
Text
;good2me (m)
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Hoseok has been your friend and one of your roommates for over a year. That’s fine by you. In fact, most of the time he’s getting on your last nerve, even though you love him half to death. He’d agree. But soon you both find out there’s a very thin line between friendship and potential lovers... Are you prepared to cross it? 
pairing; jung hoseok x reader (slight kim seokjin x reader)  genre/warnings; friends to lovers (idiots to lovers), roommate au, bartender! hoseok, romance, bearable angst, a small infidelity, some mature content, implied smut  words; 15,351
author’s note; i started watching new girl again and got inspired by jess and nick’s relationship! Late, but for hoseok’s birthday 🥺💖
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“Ohhh!” Hoseok hollered as you walked into the living area, looking up from where he was sat on the couch, flicking through the television. “Mama’s looking sexy!”
“Thank you. She is,” you said, trying to put on your best sexy voice. You did a little spin, before squeezing your cleavage up. “Got a little breast on show. A little booty if I bend over at a ninety degree angle.” You didn’t bend over the whole way, but he got the picture. 
He laughed, genuinely amused. “What is the occasion?” 
Trying to keep your bashful smile away, you failed. Big style. “Seokjin’s taking me out on our very first official date.” 
“Where to? Somewhere fancy no doubt.” 
“It’s a surpriseee.” 
You were giddy. Had been all day. You and Seokjin were finally happening, after all this time. Three months ago it seemed impossible. You had met in a quite unsavoury way, as in, you’d been determined to go out that night and have a one night stand. The one night stand had sure happened, but make that a multiple night stand. 
It was just casual sex for a few weeks. You didn’t know much about one another—more detail would mean this thing would just get deeper, and it was supposed to be the most casual of casual. You had come out of a longterm relationship at the start of the year, nearly 30 and very unsure what to do now when it came to dating. You’d met a couple of guys along the way, but you kept making the same mistake. You kept getting into relationships with them. You were sick of being Serious Sue, you wanted to be Fun Fanny. The nickname wasn’t the most desirable and you quickly stopped announcing that to potential hook ups you found at the bar. (Hoseok said you were giving off vibes you really didn’t want to be giving off.) 
Seokjin was a bit of a closed book back then, you didn’t know his story, why he wanted to keep things so casual. The guy was super sweet, really attentive and amazing in bed, but you didn’t pry. He hadn’t asked for your history, so you didn’t ask for his. Until you found out he was a doctor. A kid’s doctor. Or if you wanted to be official, a paediatrician. The dude was actually perfect, and that’s how you started to fall. 
It didn’t end well. When you confessed your feelings and implied you wanted more, he took off. He was sorry about it, apologised profusely, but he still left. You were heartbroken. But not just because of the rejection. It was because you’d fucked up again, wanted something serious, even though you’d sworn this thing with Seokjin was just a hook up. 
You managed to shake your dark mood, but you couldn’t shake the fact it felt like Seokjin was the one that got away. The one who was husband material if the situation had been different. It still felt like that nearly two months later when you ran into him at a Christmas party. However, to your surprise, he came at you with a thousand apologies. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d let go. He couldn’t concentrate the regret was so deep. He’d just come out of a shitty relationship when he’d met you, he’d gotten hurt and the idea of getting into a fresh relationship so soon had half frightened him to death. But the truth was he really liked you and wanted to be with you. He wanted something serious now, but he totally understood if you told him where to go. 
You very nearly did. You’d put your heart on the line once and he’d stomped all over it. Maybe it was just the stubbornness in you, seeing as you’d secretly held out for this. You’d needed time to think and Seokjin understood. It was actually Hoseok in the end who’d encouraged you to give it a shot. He knew you were frightened of getting hurt, but you deserved happiness and Seokjin could give that to you. (The dude’s perfect, were his exact words. And rich. Bag him now, before I do.) 
“Well, have a great time,” Hoseok grinned, taking a moment to get another look at you. “You look stunning. He’s gonna be blown away.” 
Your phone dinged in your hand. It was Seokjin, he’d just pulled up. “That’s him now.” Your voice was an unusual pitch. All high and excited. You were nearly at the door when you stopped, remembering what you wanted to tell Hoseok before you’d gotten distracted. You turned back. “Thank you again, Hobi.” 
He groaned. “Quit thanking me. I just gave you my opinion. You’re the one who made the decision.” 
You nodded, smiling softly. You were a broken record by now. “I don’t think I’ll be coming home tonight so don’t wait up.” 
“Ew.” He wrinkled his nose, feigning disgust. “Get out of here!” 
You laughed and opened the door to leave. Yeah, you were big style getting laid tonight. “Have fun with the guys!” You called, managing to get a grunt in reply. 
Living with three males was interesting, to say the least. Definitely not how you imagined seeing in your thirties. But when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. Life had dealt you a lot of lemons (Read: blows. Lemons = blows) these past twelve months. The breakdown of your eight year relationship had resulted in you moving out of the home you shared. Living with your best friend Joy had been fine at first, but it was always a temporary thing in your mind. That’s how you found yourself here, in loft 4a, living with three guys. Your mother had always told you not to trust an ad on Craigslist, but she lived 100 miles away. What she didn’t know wouldn’t harm her. 
There was Hoseok, of course, who you were closest with. It didn’t make any sense, most of the time you were like chalk and cheese. He was hard to read, kind of judge-y on a bad day, but somehow he got you the most. Maybe it was because just before you’d moved in he’d gone through his own similar breakup. Another long term relationship with a woman you’d meant once when she was picking up some of the things she’d left at the loft. You hadn’t known him well back then, but now you did, and you’d seen first-hand what the separation had done to him. It made him insecure. In himself, in his capabilities and in his job. He worked in a bar down the road, had for a few years after he dropped out of law school, and even though he’d never said it outright, you think that was the parting dig Minah, the ex, had left him with when she’d walked out. But despite that, Hoseok could be fun and easy to be around. That’s why you liked him the most. Because he’d always made you feel comfortable. Right from the beginning. 
Next, there was Yoongi. A radio host for the local station in your area. You might think he was aloof if you didn’t know him any better, but the guy was very much similar to a cat. Slight in his affection but that just made it all the more sincere. You’d never forget the time he’d kicked out this lame-o you’d thought you were exclusively dating, when in fact it turned out he was seeing three other girls too. Yoongi found you in tears in the living room, jerkface trying to apologise for the misunderstanding. He was out on his ass in under five seconds. From that night on you knew to call him a friend, much to his chagrin. He was a big softy really, and very loyal. That’s why Joy had fallen for him pretty early on. One introduction, a few weeks later and Bam! They were an item. There went her vow to never date a guy shorter than her. Plus, Yoongi was very smug about dating a model. Thought all his Christmas’ had come at once. But yeah, they were very much in love now. Pretty sickening really…
And last but not least, there was Namjoon. He was the brains of the group. The only one with a master’s degree, and the only one with a “proper” job. A high school science teacher. Well, technically you were a teacher too, but it wasn’t particularly the same when you taught a bunch of adults creative writing. Namjoon was the sensible one. The one who kept the lid on everyone’s antics when they were in fear of getting out of control. Although boy could be erratic when he wanted to be. More often now that the woman he’d been dating on and off for six months had finally ended things. Heartbroken Namjoon was not fun. Nor was the depressing music he played at 2am in the morning. But you were there for him because you loved him. You, Hoseok and Yoongi. 
3 guys, one girl. Best friends until the end, living in loft 4a. 
Ew. It could be a sitcom. 
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“I don’t understand why you had to meet me outside,” Hoseok said to you. “I work here, it’s not like this place is new to me.” 
You hummed, not really wanting to answer him, but also severely distracted. It was a good few weeks later now, winter was pretty much over, life had long and resumed after  Christmas. In fact, it was the middle of February and today was Hoseok’s birthday. The last but one of you to turn the dreaded three-oh. You were pretty nervous right now, inside the bar a whole bunch of people ready to celebrate. Hoseok thought it was just you, the guys and Joy joining him for a few drinks… There was minor detail you’d left out and ignored: Hoseok hated surprises.  
Walking through the bar entrance first, leading the way for obvious reasons, you were met with darkness. Hoseok stopped dead behind you, and you heard him mutter oh, god, aghast. Your stomach dropped out of your ass but you flicked on the lights, yelling SURPRISE! with the rest of the partygoers filling the dingy room. 
“Happy 30th birthday, Hobi!” You exclaimed, hugging into him slightly. You pulled back, a grin on your face, eyes wide as you tried to gauge his reaction. He wouldn’t make a scene, surely? You watched with slight dread as he tried to stretch one across his face too. His eyes were piercing though. Piercing into you with complete and utter disbelief. You then watched as he turned his head and addressed his guests. “Thanks, guys. What a lovely surprise…”
Frick. He was definitely using his fake voice. 
.
.
“What is this?” Hoseok hissed at you. He’d finally been able to corner you an hour in, and you stood huddled together by the restrooms. “I told you I didn’t want a big deal. You said it was just going to be a few lowkey drinks at the bar!” 
“It is,” you insisted, before muttering that next part. “Just with an added 20 more people…” 
“I don’t even know half of them!” He looked around the room, and you joined him. 
Okay, you had to admit, after the first five people you’d added to the list it was pretty hard to think of more. In the end you’d had to improvise. Invite acquaintances or just even friends of a friend… You wouldn’t admit that though. “Sure you do,” you shrugged. “There’s Yoongi and Joy.” 
“She’s your best friend.” 
“There’s Namjoon.” 
“They don’t count.” He frustrated. “They were supposed to be here! It was just supposed to be them!” 
“There’s Mrs. Choi from our building–”
“You invited a 60 year old lady to my birthday?” 
She had a soft spot for him. Of course she should be here. “There’s Brian, your-your boss…” You admit by now you were struggling. 
“He’s just here because he works every night.” 
“There’s…” You glanced around again, desperate to see a familiar face of Hoseok’s. Finally, you found someone. “THERE’S NARA!” You shouted pretty loudly, excitement taking over. She drunk at the bar a few nights a week. Hoseok had become a little enamoured. 
He jerked his head in her direction. She was sat in a booth with Yoongi, Joy and Namjoon. The latter chatting away with her. “Oh, my god. You invited Nara?!” 
“Of course I did. You like her.” 
“No, I don’t.” He was quick to refute. “I don’t like her. How do you know I like her?” He was also quick to give in. 
“You find a way to bring her into conversation every single time. Ask Yoongi.” 
He sighed dramatically, rubbing his his temples. “Well, that’s just great. Now she knows I’m 30. She knows I’m old!” 
“Shut up,” you scoffed. “She’s close to 30 too.” 
His head shot up. “You know her age?” 
“Yes. I know a lot about her.” You smirked, feeling powerful. “In the five minute conversation we had while I was inviting her, I found out way more than you have in the past three weeks you’ve been into her.” 
“I like to take my time.” He fumed. You were close to bickering, you could feel it. Hoseok said you were a butt-er in-er. You took control of things that weren’t your job. This was probably a classic example. However, this time around he relented. He wanted in on this info. He lowered his voice, leaning in. “What did you find out?” 
You shrugged, pretty nonchalant. If it wasn’t his birthday you’d make him pay you ten bucks for the facts. “Her surname. Her age. Where she was born. She prefers cats over dogs. LOVE that,” you exclaimed. Hoseok rolled his eyes, speeding you up with hand motions. “She’s only had one serious relationship in her life. Kinda like me. Although, who knows now that me and Seokjin are an item.” 
You found yourself easily on a tangent. Your relationship with Seokjin the biggest distraction in your life right now. Things were going amazing. Just over six weeks in and you were finding that domestic bliss you and your ex never had. 
“I don’t care about your life. I care about mine.” Hoseok rudely interrupted. “What else did you find out?” 
You glared at him but replied. “Not a lot after that. Bottom line is I love her. We’re a lot alike actually.” 
“No, you are not,” he insisted, a little bit of nausea in his face. You knew better than to get offended. “Hey, how did you find this all out in five minutes?” 
You tipped your shoulders. “People feel comfortable around me. They can open up, y’know?” 
He grunted in response, before his eyes widened in horror, thinking of something. “You didn’t tell her I like her, did you?”
“No,” you scoffed. “What do you take me for? An idiot?” The look he gave you was a yes. You rolled your eyes and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You’re going to tell her. Tonight. That’s why I invited her.” 
He swallowed, now looking scared. Talking to girls was never his forte. The last “relationship” he’d had since the big breakup had lasted four weeks. He had a lot to learn. You tapped his back encouragingly and he gave you a tight nod. Damn, maybe he really was about to get his flirty flirt on with this woman. You smiled at him and he looked around the bar one last time, shaking his head with a chuckle as he realised something. “God. You threw me a party at the bar I work at.” 
When would you ever win?! 
.
.
An hour later you were making your way back to the apartment. Hoseok in tow. You wanted to convince yourself it was because you could see the party wasn’t his style at all. You mean, you could see that, but the real reason you were in the elevator right now was because you’d been hit with another, even better idea. In fact, you wished you’d just thought of this first. 
“They’ll be fine back there. They won’t miss you,” you tried to reassure Hoseok, stepping out into the hallway. 
“Gee. That makes me feel so amazing on my birthday. Thank you.” Sarcasm all day, everyday. You didn’t deserve it. “Thank you for gathering a bunch of strangers to celebrate that I am one step closer to death.” 
See? It hadn’t been that hard to get him outside and convince him to walk you home because you were feeling a little lightheaded. It was like taking candy from he baby. Hoseok was dumb. 
“What happened to you?” You glared his way. “The guys always tell me you were so full of life before I moved in.” 
He raised an eyebrow. “I think you’ve answered the question yourself there.” 
You tutted, letting it go over his head. “Thirty is not bad, at all. I turned it a few months ago and I’ve just felt amazing ever since.” 
“You cried all day.” 
Goddamnit. “They were happy tears. Now,” you changed the subject, because yes, he was calling you out, but also he was pulling out his key, about to let himself in. You pushed him to the side, grabbing yours from your purse. “Just let me go do it,” you announced loudly. Almost like you wanted someone to hear you. “Just getting my key. Pushing it in the lock.” You continued the description. “Arriving home!” 
“What are you doing? What’s going on?” He was bound to be suspicious. You weren’t exactly being discreet. 
“Nothing.” You shook your head, now pushing the door open. 
“Nothing? I—
“SURPRISE!” 
Hoseok didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, door swinging open to reveal the guys. Namjoon pushed forward to slip a ’30 Years Old’ banner over his head, and he had the audacity to glare at you. 
“I specifically said don’t make this birthday a big deal and instead you throw me TWO surprise parties in the span of a couple hours.” He was in disbelief. “Don’t you listen to a word I say?!” 
“This is a better one though.” You whined. “The one I originally should’ve planned. It’s just friends.” 
“Hi again,” a little voice sounded from behind Namjoon. 
“And Nara.” You grinned, watching Hoseok’s face light up a little. “See Nara came. I invited Nara.” Success. Namjoon had followed instructions. Get the woman into the apartment. 
Hoseok finally smiled at you, stepping inside the loft. “Nara came! Hi, Nara!”  You’d take that as his seal of approval then. This place was much better for getting to know her. He’d failed miserably at the bar, you wouldn’t allow it here. You were going to play matchmaker tonight. 
“Baby!” 
The sound of Seokjin’s voice in the hall distracted you, and you shrieked a little when you saw him walking towards you, dressed in all black. “Yay, Seokjin! You made it.” He hugged you straight away, landing a kiss on your lips. 
“We managed to get someone else in for the night. I escaped.” He cheered, still holding your waist as he turned his head towards Hoseok. “Happy Birthday, man.” 
“Thanks, Jin,” he smiled, before shooting a misplaced compliment. “You’re looking very handsome. As always.” 
You rolled your eyes, laughing a little as Seokjin pulled a confused face at you. “Ignore him, he’s already a little buzzed.” You still didn’t understand Hoseok’s obsession with your boyfriend’s looks. But the guy wasn’t wrong, Seokjin did indeed look very handsome tonight. As always. 
You glanced around the room, Yoongi and Joy had managed to put up some balloons and a banner in record time after you’d frantically text them the plan half an hour ago. Alcohol stood on the dining table, a few snacks in bowls. Definitely Joy’s doing. You clapped your hands. “Music please! Let’s get this party started!” 
The room erupted into cheers. 
.
.
“Okay, I have an idea,” you yelled into the room. It was over an hour in now. This party was popping, much better than the one happening in bar you bet. You were drunk. Not wasted or anything, but definitely merry. “Let’s play spin the bottle!” 
You’d already played Pass the Balloon, thinking of games from when you were a teenager in desperation as you tried to hook Hoseok and Nara up. The balloon one was going well until Namjoon and her had found themselves in some difficulty. Then it was just a wasted ten minutes as you watched them fail to give in. At least Joon was having fun though, it had been a while since you’d seen him have fun, let alone laugh. 
“We’re not in high school,” Hoseok grumbled from beside you.
Nara piped up from the kitchen. “I think’ll be fun.” 
“Yeah. Yeah. Cool.” Hoseok soon changed his tune. “I think it’ll be fun too. Cool.” 
“Great!” You took the bottle Seokjin had been drinking from and swigged the last bit much to his amusement. You hadn’t told him what you were up to yet, but he was going along with your crazy ideas anyway. He always watched you with fondness, which was sweet considering he also called you the wackiest person he knew. 
“Everyone, get in a circle and sit!” You ordered. They listened. You grabbed Hoseok just before he took off. “You, come here.” Dragging him out into the hall that lead to your bedrooms you tried your best to whisper. “Sit next to Nara.” 
“Huh?” 
God. Was he dumb? “I’m helping you here. Setting you up.” 
“I don’t need you to,” he exasperated. “I got this.” 
You knew for a fact he didn’t “got this”. “It’ll be your turn first, birthday boy n’ all.” You carried on like you hadn’t heard him. “Spin it ever so slightly.” 
“That’s so obvious.” 
“You want to make it obvious.” 
He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine.” 
You smiled in triumph, grabbing him by the arm. “Remember: ever so slightly!” And with that you dragged him towards the circle. You were pretty feisty when you needed to be. 
“It’s Hobi’s turn first because he’s the birthday boy,” you told everyone as you pushed him down between Nara and Joy. You sat to Nara’s left; convenient to keep an eye on everything, plus you were next to Seokjin too.   
“It’s so cute how you call him Hobi,” Nara commented, leaning into you with a smile. 
“Oh, really?” You were a little caught off guard. “Everyone calls him that. No big deal.” You tried to think if that was true… You must’ve heard it from somewhere else why would you have started calling him that…?
“Are there rules?” Joy asked. 
“Yes! Rules!” You suddenly realised. You racked your brains. Hoseok and Nara couldn’t kiss in front of everyone. That would just be odd. Hm, maybe this was too obvious. “Whoever the bottle lands on, that’s who you kiss! But there’s a twist. It has to be in my closet.” 
“You got cameras in there or something?” Namjoon piped up, Nara laughed loudly. 
“No,” you said slowly. “Because it’s the biggest. You can’t come out until the deed is done.” 
“Isn’t that like seven minutes in heaven?” Yoongi asked. 
“Yoongi, just shut up and listen.” Why couldn’t people just be excited? You were trying to hook up their friend! “It’s not like that because I don’t want people having sex in my closet.” You nudged Nara and giggled. She slowly laughed back, a little confused. You caught Hoseok shooting you a look but ignored him.
“Kissing only,” you continued. “And we need photographic evidence.”
“What?” Hoseok sounded like he was about to run off any moment. 
“Just a quick pic,” you shrugged. If truth be told, you wanted Hoseok to have the memory of when you set him up with the girl of his dreams forever. That way he could always thank you. 
“Is the guy to girl ratio a little skewed?” Yoongi pointed out. “I’m not kissing Joon.” 
You ignored him. “TONGUES.” You shouted instead, clapping your hands. “Almost forgot to specify: tongues!” 
“I’m not tonguing anyone bar my girlfriend.” Yoongi was adamant. 
“Whatever.” You sighed. Didn’t he realise this wasn’t about him? You didn’t care who he tongued or didn’t tongue. It was about who Hoseok tongued! 
You stretched over and handed the bottle to him. “Hoseok, spin.” You were careful not to use your, no, the, nickname. There was nothing cute about it. 
“Okay. Kinda nervous.” He was practically shouting. If this was his way of trying to sound casual, he was failing. “Don’t want to mess it up.” Thinking about it, this was a very stupid idea. He was about to spin a bottle four inches to the left. You watched feeling a little sick. 
The sick feeling turned to one of horror in a nanosecond. You watched in slow motion as the bottle passed Nara. It wasn’t four inches, it was eight. He’d landed on you. 
“No.” Hoseok spoke into the room. The denial was strong. “No. No. Nope. No.” 
You could hear the room cheering. Yoongi laughing, saying something about how amazing this was. The game had backfired on you. But in truth you weren’t really listening, too busy having a minor breakdown. 
You looked at a Hoseok. “No.” He said it back. You looked around at everyone else, eyes wide. In denial and begging for someone to say you didn’t have to do it. “No. No. HA,” you forced a laugh. “I have a boyfriend. I can’t kiss anyone else.” 
“If you were going to make me kiss Joon, you’re kissing Hoseok.” 
“Baby, it’s just a game,” Seokjin chuckled, hooking his arm around your shoulders. “It’s fine.” 
“No.” You were adamant. “I would call that cheating. Wouldn’t you?” 
��I would.” Hoseok piped up. At least someone was on your side. No one listened to him. 
“Relax.” Seokjin rubbed the back of your neck. “Come here.” He dipped his head, capturing your mouth in a soft kiss before pulling away and winking. “That’s to remember me. Now get on in there!” 
The guy physically hauled you up. You perfect boyfriend had no problem with this. Damn him. Damn him for being so reasonable and laid back. Yoongi made a beeline for Hoseok. The glee on his face was pretty frightening. 
“To the closest! To the closet! To the closet!” The chanting wasn’t necessary, but it happened any way. Frog marched into your bedroom and pushed into the closet. Surrounded in pitch black before you reached for the light switch. 
“You overshot it,” you hissed. 
“I was under pressure!” Yelling in whispers was hard. “You do not know how stressful it was!” 
You groaned, rubbing your hands all over your face. “Don’t do that you look like The Scream.” Hoseok commented.
You shot him a look before stomping your feet and pointing a finger at him. “I can’t believe this. You were supposed to be in here with Nara!” 
“Why the hell did you sit next to her?” 
“I don’t know. To keep an eye on you!” In hindsight it was a very bad idea, but what would have happened if you hadn’t? Hoseok would be in here with Seokjin? That was even more weird! 
“You guys kissing yet?” Yoongi asked through the door. You could almost see his Lenny face. 
“Oh, god,” Hoseok muttered. He sounded faint. 
“Yeah. We did it!” You yelled back. You were getting you both out of here. “Was super wet. Hoseok has a freakishly long tongue. Yuck.” 
“Hey. No, I don’t.” 
“Send the pic. Did you take a pic?” Yoongi sounded way too excited. 
Shit. The stupid picture?! Why did you even come up with that rule… “Oh, would you look at that. I didn’t hit the button. Oh well, doesn’t matter,” you shrugged, moving to turn the door handle. It didn’t budge. Almost like someone was holding it shut. “Hey, let us out!!” You yelled. 
“No evidence, no escaping.” That was Namjoon. He sounded overly amused. 
“Namjoon!” You shrieked in surprise. You twisted and tugged on the handle, hoping you he would relent, give up so you could get the hell out of here. “Let us out. Let us out! I’m claustrophobic!”
“Kiss and take the pic!” Joy shouted. 
Joy?! That was it! Friendship over. Come to think of it, where was Seokjin? Maybe you could appeal to him. He’d give in surely. You were about to open your mouth when fresh chanting started. “KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” It was so loud you swear you’d wake up with a noise compliant. But more importantly, you could hear Seokjin’s voice along with the rest. Goddamnit. You were really going to have to kiss Hoseok. 
You turned back to him, defeat on your face. He’d been oddly quiet since you’d tried escaping. “Let’s just do it,” he shrugged. 
“What?” You mean, you’d been planning on saying the same thing, but you’d thought it would take some cajoling. 
“Get your phone out. Let’s just get it over with,” he told you. “You want to get out of here, right?” 
“Okay.” You nodded, telling yourself it would be fine. “Yeah, we’ll just kiss. It’s no biggie.” 
“Nope, no biggie.” He stepped closer. You were suddenly sweating. It was really hot in here and you swear the floor was shaking because of how rowdy they were being outside. 
“Hey, remember when I saw your boob that one time?” Hoseok laughed. “It popped right out of your towel when you were talking to me as I brushed my teeth.” He made a popping sound to emphasise, his hand flopping from his chest in an unnecessary reenactment
That had actually been particularly mortifying for you. Especially seeing as it was only a month into living with the guys and you’d just flashed a boob accidentally. “What does that have to do with anything?” 
He looked at you, releasing his mistake. “It doesn’t. Just if I’ve seen your boob, I can kiss you.” There was no correlation at all. You wanted to point that out but now he was a few inches from your face. You were going crosseyed trying to look at him. “Okay, let’s do this,” he murmured. 
“Ew. What did you just do?” You startled, stepping back. 
“Huh?” 
“You licked your lips.” He’d licked his lips and moved forward. He was about to put his wet ones on your normal ones. 
“Of course I did. Do you want dry lips?” 
“Yes! I want dry lips,” you insisted. 
He pulled a face, more than puzzled. “These things can get pretty chapped, but ok.” Before you could say anything else he had his hands on your face, lunging closer with his eyes closed. 
“No. No.” You ducked from his grip, darting to the other side of the closet. Had it always been that small in here? You used to think it was massive. 
Hoseok sighed. “What now?” 
“You cupped my face. You did this thing with your eyes.” 
“What, closed them?!” 
“Don’t kiss me with your eyes closed.” 
“So you want to be staring at each other the whole time?” He thought you were crazy. Could tell by the tone of his voice. He exhaled, voice calmer when he spoke again. “You don’t want to kiss me, do you?” 
“Of course I don’t. It’s weird as hell.” You caught the look on his face. “Oh, come on. You cannot be offended. Does the idea of kissing me not gross you out?” 
“No, it doesn’t gross me out. That’s a bit drastic.” 
God, he was not guilt tripping you right now. It worked anyway. “Fine! Let’s kiss.” He looked startled, probably feeling dizzy by your back and forth. “C’mon. Kiss me, Jung.” He didn’t budge. You started chanting. It was the only way. “Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!” 
“Ok, okay.” He yelled over you. “Shut the hell up.” You continued. You always did like pissing him off. 
In a split second he was in front of you. “Come here.” His cupped your face again and you instantly shut up. Your eyes were locked on his, and in this pretty dismal lighting he looked beautiful. It made your insides feel funny. For a moment there you caught yourself puckering. You caught yourself actually wanting to kiss him, and then in the blink of an eye it was gone. Almost like it never happened. He murmured your name and pulled away, shaking his head 
“What?” 
“I can’t do this,” he admitted. “It’s too weird.” 
“Ha! See!” You were triumphant. “It is weird!” 
He shook his head again, chuckling quietly. “No, I mean… This is not how it’s supposed to go.” 
“What?” There was silence. He didn’t try to elaborate. “Supposed to go?” No matter how much you tried to make sense of that, nothing worked. “How’s it supposed to go, Hoseok?” 
“Forget it. I didn’t say anything,” he tried to backtrack. “It came out wrong.” 
“Hoseok.” He didn’t tell you. He just stared at you, unable or unwilling. “Hobi—p”
“You guys win.” You were interrupted as the door burst open, Yoongi grumbling like a giant baby. 
You blinked rapidly, not used to the bright lights. Everything felt a little weird, like you’d been in that closest for years. You walked out first, not looking behind you. You felt a little shaken up. You couldn’t explain why. 
Seokjin wrapped his arms around your shoulders and laughed. “We were sick of waiting.” He smelt of beer and his eyes were unfocused. You hadn’t realised before but he was drunk. Way more than you were. 
“Get back in the circle,” Namjoon ordered, leading the way. God, this game was still going to continue? You’d all be here until tomorrow morning. “You guys are spoilsports.” 
“What’s a little kissing among friends?” Yoongi piped up, which was rich coming from him. “Okay, Nara’s turn,” he said once everyone had gotten back into place. She took the bottle eagerly. “Spin it, girl!” 
You all watched it go. You totally forgot to pray it landed on Hoseok until it was too late. The room erupted into cheers and wolf whistles as it stopped and your heart sunk. 
“NAMJOON!!” Yoongi yelled. “Get it, Kim!” 
You shot Hoseok an apologetic look. 
.
.
“Hey.” You said, stopping by the sofa where Hoseok sat. “I’m sorry about tonight.”
It was a fewhours later, the party was over and you were in your pyjamas ready for bed. Seokjin was already tucked up on his side and you’d just gone to get a glass of water. You didn’t want a headache in the morning. You were surprised to see Hoseok still awake and in the living room. 
He shook his head, laughing a little. “It’s fine. I actually kinda enjoyed it in a strange way.” 
“You did?” 
“Yup. What better way to see 30 in. Trapped in a closet with you.” 
You laughed at his silliness, making your way over to the sink to fill up your glass. You gulped the water down, thinking to yourself. You didn’t care if he was just trying to make you feel better. You were still relieved he hadn’t totally hated it. There were worse people to be stuck in a closet with. You hoped. 
As you placed the now empty glass down a faint banging appeared. Like something hitting against a wall. It got louder and then slowed away. “What’s that?” You asked Hoseok, turning around and genuinely puzzled. 
“Oh, that,” Hoseok chuckled. “That’s Namjoon and Nara. He’s giving it to her good. Real good.” 
Your mouth dropped open, just as the banging re-emerged. Yes, it was definitely coming from his room. His headboard. Then the guilt kicked in. “Oh my god. Hobi, I’m so sorry.” How had this happened? How had you not seen the signs? It was pretty obvious now, thinking back, Nara had been totally into Namjoon. All that hushed talking, giggling and touching. The game of spin the bottle. That girl had rigged her own spin for it to land on him. Only she’d been a good shot. Hoseok on the other hand… 
Hoseok raised his hand, brushing your apologies away. “He asked for permission. He needs this.” Maybe so. This was the first woman Joon had shown an interest in after Sookie. Hoseok was too understanding.  “Besides, I oddly don’t care.” 
Or maybe not. 
“You don’t?” You instantly kicked yourself for prying. Prying and being nosey had been the downfall of this night. Yet here you were itching for more info. 
“Yeah, I just…” He trailed off and shrugged. “Maybe I don’t like Nara that much. It was just a stupid crush. No big deal.” 
You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to ask what made him change his mind so suddenly? Made him realise? But that seemed inappropriate. You nodded instead, letting him know you got it, and turned to leave. “Goodnight.” 
“Wait,” he called. “Hold up.” He jumped up and you turned to face him again, waiting like he’d asked. “I want to say sorry too. I made that weird. The game.”
“Oh.” The closet. The awkwardness had slowly disappeared through the night and now you had a sickly feeling it was about to come back. If the look on his face was anything to go by. 
“What I meant was,” he was talking slow, a little stunted. “If I was ever going to kiss you, it wouldn’t be like that. Because of some stupid game.” 
His words took a moment to process. Perhaps you had another hundred questions to ask but they seemed impossible. You should just take what he said and accept it. The game was over and you’d never play it again. You’d never get in a closet with him again. You felt strange, but you didn’t admit that. Instead you smiled. “Okay.” 
That feeling was creeping back. The one from the closet, when he’d been holding your face and staring into your eyes. The one where he’d looked so good under that weird yellow light. Hoseok was handsome, you’d always thought so, but in a way where you’d never actually thought of it, if that made sense… In that closet, you’d thought it. 
“Come on, I’ll walk with you,” he told you, interrupting the butterflies in your stomach. You walked side by side, down the corridor. Your rooms were directly opposite one another. Had you pointed that out before?  
You stopped when he did, forcing yourself to say something. It was just Hoseok. You talked to him all the time. You yelled at him all the time. And laughed, and fooled around. He was your friend. “I promise I’ll make next year’s birthday better.” 
He smiled gently, head tilted, voice soft. “You don’t have to promise me anything. Night.” 
“Goodnight, Hobi.” 
You made to turn, hand nearly on the door handle, but then he pulled you back. One hand reaching for yours, the other curling around your waist. Your mouths met in such a rush you didn’t realise until you felt the warmth of his tongue. It was passionate and eager. The kind of kiss you see in the movies, where no one comes up for air, where their bodies move on their own accord. 
There were no thoughts, just feelings. The feeling of how good this was, and how much it took your breath away. The feeling of his lips on yours and how you should’ve been feeling them a long time ago. The feeling of his arms wrapped around your waist, clutching you tight, and yours around his shoulders, holding him close. 
When you finally pulled away, no choice but to, you were trembling. Boneless. Hs breath fanned across your face and you were sad. You wanted more. You wanted to kiss him all night. Slowly, more deliberately, you pushed your lips against his, savouring the feel. He kissed you back just as softly before breaking away for good. 
“That’s how it would go,” he murmured. He was breathing heavily. “How I imagined it to be.”
And that he was gone. To his room, door shut. 
You stood there dazed, lips tingling and you brought your fingers out to touch them. There was silence all around you, and slowly, the haze began to lift. In its wake brought panic and guilt. Seokjin. Your boyfriend was asleep just behind the door.
What had you done? 
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You got hardly any sleep. Your brain wouldn’t switch off. The guilt twisting your gut, even more so when you kept thinking of the kiss and how good it was, and how short lived it was. Seokjin centimetres away from you, clueless. You rose early. Everyone else was still asleep, the loft silent. Still in your pyjamas you poured yourself some cereal and sat on at the counter, munching away sombrely. 
Hoseok was the first to wake up. Of course. You should’ve just stayed inside your room, but you couldn’t bear to be near Seokjin. He strolled into the living room casually, making his way to the kitchen. You tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped because you didn’t know what it meant. Were you angry, panicked, something else? 
“Good morning.” He greeted casually. 
Angry. You were angry. It rushed up your body. How dare he be so casual. As if nothing had happened. “Seriously? Good morning?” You retorted. He was making himself a coffee. “What’s good about it, Hoseok? You kissed me last night!” 
He gave a little shrug. “I know I did.” 
You were flabbergasted by his gall. Had to force yourself to continue. “Well,” you stared at him. “Aren’t you going to explain yourself?” 
“I already did.” He spoke simply. “I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to show you how I would kiss you.” 
Nope. You weren’t feeling guilty over this any longer. Not when he was acting so unfazed. He was the one who had kissed you. This was his doing. And he didn’t care at all. “To what? Prove a point?” You demanded. 
He scoffed, dropping a teaspoon into the sink. “No, not to prove a point.” He turned to face you, back leaning against the counter. “I wanted to kiss you.” 
Your mind was beginning to reel. “I have a BOYFRIEND,” you said slowly, unable to keep a lid on your anger. “Who I had to sleep next to last night.” 
Right on cue, Seokjin came from around the corner, still half asleep and rubbing his eyes. You froze, feeling instantly sick. You hope he hadn’t heard anything. 
He hadn’t. He smiled when he saw you both, making his way over. “Morning, guys.” 
“Seokjin, hey,” you breathed, feeling a little trembly. You pushed your bowl away, not hungry now. You caught Hoseok’s eyes. 
“Morning,” he nodded, turning to look at Seokjin but averting his gaze. 
Seokjin leant down and kissed your cheek, rubbing your shoulder. “Did you sleep at all last night? You were tossing and turning like crazy.” 
You felt yourself panicking. You needed to cool it. “Ah, I think I was still pumped from the party.” You laughed lightly. 
Seokjin joined in. “You guys sure do know how to have fun. I think I’ve drunk more in these past two months than I have in my entire life.” You heard Hoseok gave the lamest laugh back. It sounded more like a scoff and you shot him a look.  
“Hey, wanna go to the zoo today?” Seokjin suggested. You’d been on about going for weeks now just hadn’t gotten around to it. “I’m not due at the hospital until tonight.” 
You forced yourself to smile. Hoped it seemed natural. “I’d love to.” 
“Perfect,” he grinned, reaching to kiss your lips. They twinged, and you remembered the feeling of Hoseok’s mouth. You were also very aware he was a witness to all this. You pulled back quickly. “Wanna shower first?” Seokjin asked. 
“No, it’s okay. You go.” 
You couldn’t bear them to be alone together. Hoseok was acting weird, you didn’t trust him not to tell Seokjin. As it would have it though, by the time you looked across at the counter, Hoseok was gone, already walking off back to his room. 
.
.
“What’s wrong?” You asked Seokjin as you made your way into your room. You’d showered straight after him. Gotten dressed in the bathroom because you did not fancy bumping into Hoseok wrapped in a towel. Even though you had many a time. 
Seokjin looked a little sad, you could tell by his face straight away something was up, and  delayed, you felt dread begin prick at your spine. What if Hoseok had told him? 
“Bad news. They need me at the hospital.” He sounded guilty that he had to let you down. 
While you felt instant relief. He didn’t know about the kiss and your guilty conscious was happy you wouldn’t have to spend all day together. You felt terrible at the realisation. Maybe you should just tell him what happened. But… not like this. Not today. You were a serial put-er off-er.
“That’s okay, it can’t be helped,” you told him, making your way over to the bed where he sat perched on. You rubbed his shoulder. You both liked doing that to one another. Thinking that made you sad. “I feel bad for you though. You haven’t had a proper day off in weeks.” 
It was true, Seokjin worked harder than any person you’d met before. You didn’t know how he did it. More sadness filled you. You couldn’t explain why. This time it wasn’t the guilt over the kiss, but something else. Everything had changed. 
“You’re cute,” he smiled. “I’ll be fine. Always am.” Those words stuck with you. “I’m sad we can’t go to the zoo. Rain check?” 
“Rain check,” you nodded, smiling slightly. 
“What will you do instead today?” He asked, before chuckling. “Hoseok’s here all day. Keep him company.” 
Your eyes widened. “You’ve been talking to Hob–Hoseok?” Damn that nickname. He didn’t deserve to be called Hobi. 
“Yeah, while you were in the shower.” 
Change the subject. “I think I may hang out with Joy.” It was the weekend after all, and Yoongi had work this afternoon and then he was going out for drinks with some coworkers. Joy would be free. “We can have a girly day. I could stay over maybe.” You were babbling. Trying to make this believable even though it wasn’t a lie. “Face masks, pillow fights, all that sleepover stuff.” 
Seokjin looked at you funny and laughed affectionately. “You’re really trying to relive your high school years, aren’t you? You’re cute,” he repeated. He always called you cute. He wrapped his arms around you waist, pulling you a little closer. “—and weird. That’s why I like you.” 
Yes. Sometimes you did think you were a little bit “too much” for Seokjin, but he always seemed so endeared by you. Usually this kind of talk made you happy, but you felt strange inside. Like everything was slowly dying. Seokjin kissed you, it didn’t bring you back to life.    “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Promise I’ll be free.” 
You forced yourself to smile. Any more and your lips would start aching. “Can’t wait.” 
He rubbed his nose against yours, voice low. “You can come over. Maybe we can play seven minutes in heaven…” 
You giggled, but in your mind you couldn’t stop thinking about your kiss with Hoseok. 
.
.
“Hoseok kissed me last night.” 
It was a few hours later, not even twenty four after the kiss, and you were finally telling someone about it. You weren’t built to keep secrets. Joy knew that. She knew you the best out of anyone. She’d been your best friend for over twenty years. That’s why it was her you told. Curled up on her sofa you blurted it out. No lead up, no ‘Hey, can I tell you something?’ Just straight out with it. 
She turned her attention away from the television, a look of confusion spread all over her face. “During the game or?” 
You breathed out. “After. Once everyone had gone home.” 
Her eyes widened, but she spoke slowly, as if she was trying really hard to understand. “I’m confused. Was it a drunk thing?” 
“I don’t know why he did it,” you admitted. If you had a solid answer maybe you could get your head around it more. “He said he wanted to show me how our first kiss would go.” 
“Hold up.” Now Joy had come to life. Still in shock, but needing explanations. “He imagined a first kiss? Does he like you?” 
“No,” you exclaimed, pulling a disgusted face. “It’s Hoseok. Me and Hoseok.” 
“Do you like him?” 
Was she crazy? “No.” But that sounded too mean. “Yes. I mean, of course I like him, he’s my friend.”
“Christ. He kissed you,” she muttered, shaking her head a little in disbelief. 
“I kissed him back.” Had you left out that minor detail? It was all very well saying Hoseok kissed you, but you’d let him, and you’d kissed him back just as hard. The memory had your insides feeling funny again. 
Joy looked a little in stunned. You didn’t blame her. You and Hoseok kissing? His mouth on yours, his hands on your body, his tongue in your mouth… You needed a cold shower. Where was your guilt now?! 
“What was it like?” She asked hesitantly. Curious. 
“Really good.” You couldn’t lie. And you couldn’t keep the truth in. You just needed to be honest with yourself. “I’m so confused. Joy, I cant stop thinking about it. I’m so mad at him but it was just so… It was just so hot. But out of this world. Like, I saw through time and space, and it was Hoseok doing it!” In what world did that seem realistic? He was your friend! 
“Damn, Hoseok has game.” Joy sounded half impressed. 
You sighed sadly. “I think it was the best kiss of my life but it can’t be because…” There she was. The guilt. She settled in your stomach, heavy and sickly. “Seokjin. I have a boyfriend. One who I’ve liked for the longest time.” 
You remembered how much you wanted to make it work with him while things were still just a hook up and how heartbroken you’d been when he’d told you he couldn’t give you that. How confused and kind of mad you were when he found you again and confessed his feelings and how happy you’d been when you’d given him another chance. When Hoseok had encouraged you to give it a try. Nothing made sense. Everything had changed after one kiss.  
“Are you going to tell him?” Joy asked. 
“I don’t know. I was going to forget the kiss ever happened but I don’t think I can do that,” you admitted. Seokjin deserved the truth, but selfishly, more than that, you couldn’t live like this, so conflicted. It wasn’t black and white. You’d kissed Hoseok back. 
“Just think it through, okay?” She told you gently. “If you tell him it’ll make things awkward. You’re friends with Hoseok. You live with Hoseok.” 
You didn’t think Joy got it. You didn’t think you got it. You couldn’t forget about the kiss. That’s why you had to tell Seokjin. “No, I should tell him.” Your voice was a little shaky. “I kissed Hoseok back. It wouldn’t be fair to blame it all on him. Seokjin needs to know.” 
.
.
You slipped through the door, trying to be as quiet as possible. You turned left, towards your bedroom and began creeping. It was past midnight but you still wanted to go as undetected as possible, praying Namjoon and Hoseok were in their rooms already. 
“Hey.” You winced when you heard Hoseok’s voice, freezing. “I was waiting up for you. Where were you all day?” 
You turned back slowly, trying to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. If truth be told, the last person you wanted to have a conversation with right now was him. “At Joy’s. I was going to stay over but Yoongi got drunk and she had to pick him up.” 
“You were going to stay over because of me?” He asked. You stayed silent and he sighed your name. “Look, I’m really sorry I did this. Made things awkward between us. It’s the last thing I want.” 
Your jaw tightened in anger. Then why the hell had he kissed you? “I don’t feel awkward. Do you feel awkward?” 
“I feel a little awkward.” He admitted, hands in his pockets. You stayed a few feet apart. “You left the house all day to avoid me.” 
“I’m not feeling awkward. I’m feeling…mad.” 
“Mad?” He had the cheek to sound surprised. “At me?” 
“You kissed me when I have a boyfriend.” You explained like you had to. “Did you not think of the consequences?”
He lowered his head, sheepish, yet he still didn’t apologise. “Are you going to tell him?” He asked instead. “Just don’t.” 
“What?” Your voice was low, anger rising. 
Hoseok shrugged. “Just forget it ever happened.” 
“Forget it ever happened?!” You exclaimed. “I can’t.” You shook your head, the memory of the kiss pushing its way back into your head. No. That wasn’t why. “I can’t lie to him. You’re asking me to lie to him?” 
“It’s not lying, it’s just not telling him something happened. He’s oblivious to it anyways.” 
“What the hell?” You couldn’t begin to explain why you felt so frustrated. So offended. “I can’t do this.” You voice shook. You were blowing up. “I was happy before last night. Like really happy, and now everything is ruined because you kissed me!” He stayed silent. You couldn’t read his expression. 
“Like jeez,” you laughed in frustration. “It doesn’t make sense, Hoseok. You were encouraging me to give him another chance and now what, you like me?” You mocked, instantly regretting it by the way his face fell. 
“Is that funny to you?” He scoffed. “Is the possibility I like you so hilarious you feel the need to laugh in my face?” Oh no. “Or are you laughing because it seems so crazy? Impossible?” 
You could feel the dread prickling your skin, but all you could do was watch him in horror. “I like you.” The way he said your name afterwards made something inside of you long. You pushed it away, because otherwise your legs might give way from under you. 
“I like you a lot. Way more than a friend and I don’t know for how long.” 
You couldn’t speak. Just watched him struggle to find the right words himself. “It-It’s just one of those things. You came into my life like a bulldozer and I kept thinking, how had I gone through nearly thirty years of my life not knowing you?” He scoffed. “It sounds stupid, but it’s true. Slowly I just began thinking maybe one day it’ll be our chance. It wasn’t urgent. Just kinda there in my subconscious. Most of the time I didn’t even think about it.” He shrugged. “I was okay with waiting. Okay with watching you date other guys because it wasn’t our turn yet. One day,” he sighed. “One day it would be, and I’d get to kiss you like last night.” 
The kiss was back behind your eyes. The feeling of his lips, the taste of his mouth. The touch of his body. For some reason you were angry. 
“That game messed it all up and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not sorry for kissing you. I won’t apologise for that.” 
“No.” You finally said something. It was final, but your voice shook. “No. You can’t be doing this right now, Hoseok.” You pointed at him, accusing him. “I’m happy. For the first time in a long time I was happy. I like Seokjin. He’s the first guy I’ve really felt something with since Seungwoo. Do you know how important that is?” He should understand that more than anyone, with what happened with Minah. 
“You expect me to throw it all away because one day you see yourself with me? One day?!” You were a goddamn after thought. One of those pacts friends made. If we’re still single at 40 we’ll get married. Was that what you were to him? You blinked away frustrated tears. He was one of your best friends and that’s how he saw you? 
“Oh, please,” he sneered. He sounded hurt, but mad. You’d never seen him angry before. You hated it. You’d bickered many times, but never to this level. “You’re always choosing shitty men.” 
“You’ve known me for a year!” 
“Yeah, and in that time it hasn’t been great,” he scoffed. You thought of the handful of men Hoseok had witnessed you date and cringed. He was judging you. Two could play at that game. Childish or not. 
“Oh, and you have such a great taste in woman. If I remember correctly, one robbed you after you slept with her!” 
“That could’ve happened to anyone!” 
Whatever. “Seokjin is not a shitty man!” He was kind, and sweet, and probably way too good for you. 
“You were his fuck buddy for weeks and when you told him you had feelings for him he ran away only to come back with his tail between his legs. He had his chance and he blew it. You deserve better.” 
“You were the one who told me to go for it!” You exasperated. He wasn’t making sense. He was the one who encouraged you to give Seokjin a second chance. Without Hoseok, you wouldn’t be together right now. 
“I regret that now. What more do you want me to say?” 
Really? You stared at him. “I want you to say you don’t know anything.” 
“I don’t know anything?” 
“Yes, you don’t know anything about anything.” He just said things, did things, without thinking of the consequences. He was thoughtless. “Seokjin might’ve been the one, but now it’s all ruined!” 
“He’s not.” 
Fuck him. He sounded so sure. What did he know? “It’s ruined because of you!” You shouted in frustration. “I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel.” All you could remember was the kiss. “I was happy and now I’m not.” 
“Well I’m sorry for making you unhappy,” he sighed. “That’s what I do.” He threw his hands into the air and laughed bitterly. “I’m sorry for thinking me and you could be something great. I’m sorry for not having my life together. Not being rich, or for not being devilishly handsome—which I may add,” he shot, “is freaky. No man should be that beautiful!” 
For god’s sake. What was he trying to do now? Guilt trip you? “What are you going on about? Those are your insecurities. I don’t care about all that stuff.” Was he trying to say you were shallow? 
“Of course you do,” he insisted. “Seokjin has it all. What do I have? Nothing. I’m 30 and work at a bar. I dropped out of law school and forget to shower some days. I don’t own my own home. I live in a loft with two other guys and you.” 
You? Why did he say it like that? For someone who supposedly liked you he wasn’t doing a good job of showing it. From the seems of things he didn’t like you. 
“Do yourself a favour and just don’t tell him. Forget about me and be happy. Fall in love with him, marry him, have tons of super pretty babies.” 
Jaw tight, you sneered. “This is why we wouldn’t work out.” You told him. “You’re childish.” He wasn’t relationship material. He wasn’t what you were looking for. “You’re selfish. You’re mean.” 
He scoffed. “I’m mean?” 
Your bottom lip wobbled, eyes filling up. “Yeah, you really are.” And then you stormed off. Down the hall and into your room. Just in time to hide the tears that slipped down your cheeks. He couldn’t see you cry. He couldn’t see he’d gotten to you. 
He yelled your name, calling you back, sounding regretful, but you didn’t listen and he didn’t follow you. 
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The next morning you didn’t see Hoseok at all. He was either in his room when you finally emerged from yours, or he was already at the bar. You were thankful either way. You didn’t think you could handle facing him. You were still so mad, but more than that you were upset. Confused. 
You showered and got ready with a struggle. Forced yourself to go grocery shopping even though you had no appetite for food, and then you just tried to keep yourself distracted. You caught up with some marking that needed to be done by tomorrow, meal prepped for lunches and tried to seem normal around Namjoon who was milling about the loft too. Then Seokjin messaged your asking if you still wanted to hang out this evening. You replied yes with a heavy heart. 
On your way there you’d convinced yourself that you weren’t going to tell him. Yes, you had kissed Hoseok back, but he was the one that had made the move. You could forget about it with time. You could be happy with Seokjin again. Your guilty conscience would go. 
But sitting with him on the sofa, his arm looped around your shoulders and his soft laugh rumbling in your ears every time something funny happened in the movie you were watching, you realised something. The only reason you didn’t want to tell him was because you wanted to spite Hoseok. You were being selfish. The same thing you’d accused Hoseok of last night. 
Seokjin deserved to now, whatever the outcome. For him, for you, for Hoseok… 
“I kissed Hoseok.” 
It didn’t sound like your voice, but you’d said it. 
You felt Seokjin move and you automatically wriggled out from under his arm. He paused the movie, looking back at you with a bemused expression. “You kissed him?” He laughed slightly. “Why didn’t time say? We would’ve left you out sooner.” 
He’d mistaken what you meant. Just like Joy. You closed your eyes softly, sadness filling you. You wanted to say yes, in the game more than anything, just not to hurt him, but that wasn’t the truth. You’d kissed Hoseok off your own back and you’d enjoyed it. “No,” you said softly. “We kissed after the party. Later on when I went to get some water. He kissed me, but I kissed him back.” You didn’t take a moment to pause, needing it all to be out. 
Seokjin was silent as he absorbed the information. Shocked being a given. Finally he said something. “You kissed him while I was in the loft too? In your bed?” 
When he worded it like that you felt sick. You nodded sadly. “I feel terrible, Seokjin. I do. I just couldn’t not tell you. Hoseok said to forget it ever happened but I… It–We…” You fumbled over your words and took a moment to compose yourself. “We argued last night and I’m just… I’m really confused.” 
Two nights ago everything had changed. You’d been in this perfect new relationship. It had promise, it was going somewhere and you were over the moon. Then the kiss had happened and you hadn’t been able to see a future with Seokjin anymore. No matter how small. 
His face was unreadable as he looked at you. You wanted him to get mad. You wanted him to yell at you and tell you how much of a horrible person you were. You deserved it. But that wasn’t his style. Instead he breathed out some kind of little laugh. “There’s no need to be confused. I get it now. You like Hoseok. Of course you do.” 
You were too surprised to even think about refuting him. Of all the things for him to say, you had not been expecting that. “Seeing you guys together,” he carried on. “You always bicker, get on one another’s nerves, but now I see it.” He chuckled. Sadly amused. “It was chemistry. You two just bounce off one another so well. I don’t know, maybe you’re frustrated too, mad you’re not together.” 
You let his words sink in. Trying to think of every interaction you’d had with Hoseok since you met him. It was pretty much an instant connection. You’d always thought so, but did that really mean… You couldn’t let yourself think here. In front of Seokjin, after you’d just confessed to him. But everything was flooding to the forefront of your brain, and it was hard work trying to stop it. There was no point trying to deny it. Not now. 
“I never wanted to hurt you,” you told him instead. Meaning it sincerely. You hadn’t even realised anything yourself. Not even when it was right in front of you. When Hoseok was telling you he liked you. 
He smiled sadly. “Better for it to happen now, right?” 
“I really care about you, Seokjin. These past few weeks have been amazing. Even before, when we were…” You stopped and shook your head. “You’re the best and I’m really sorry.” You truly did mean that. No matter how lame it sounded. 
“You’re a really great girl, remember that,” he told you. “Maybe if I’d figured out my feelings months ago things would be different, but then again,” he shrugged, “maybe you’re just meant to be with him.” 
Meant to be with him. Hoseok. Were you meant to be with Hoseok? 
Seokjin took you hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m done,” he murmured, his eyes kind but firm. “I don’t want to be second best.” 
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You had déjà vu. You were slipping through the door again. This time you didn’t try to creep into your room though. You made your way into the kitchen, needing a glass of water. Just to take some time for yourself, needing to find some clarity. You found it as soon as your eyes landed on Hoseok walking from the direction of the bathroom. Everything fell into place, began to make sense. 
He stopped dead when he saw you, awkward and probably panicked after last night. “Hey,” you said gently. “Where is everyone?” It was strange for the loft to be so quiet on a Sunday night. 
He cleared his throat. “Namjoon has Nara over, Yoongi‘s still over Joy’s place.” He was already beginning to walk away.  “I’ll be out of your way, just going to bed.” 
You opened your mouth to call him back. You had so much to say, but… But was tonight a good time to start? Your head was still whirring. Sadness and guilt over your breakup with Seokjin but you also felt giddy at the sight of Hoseok. You wanted to say sorry for the argument, for all the things you said, and most of all you wanted to tell him that you—
“Aren’t you supposed be staying with Jin tonight?” Hoseok had stopped, turning back with the afterthought. “Namjoon mentioned it.”  
He didn’t need to explain himself. You didn’t care how he knew. You didn’t care about a lot right now. Only one thing. “He broke up with me,” you replied. “I told him about the kiss and now it’s over.” 
Hoseok’s eyes bulged, visibly shocked. “What? Didn’t you tell him it was my fault?” He walked over to you. There was still a distance but it was a start. “No,” he muttered. “Why would he break up with you? It’s not your fault.”
Sweet, caring Hoseok. You smiled at him, the words that left you almost bubbling into a laugh. “It is.” 
He looked mighty confused. He was probably thinking you’d lost it right now. You hadn’t. You’d only just found it. You took a deep breath. It was now or never. “It’s my fault because I like you too.” 
Silence. He looked stunned. It seemed strange to say it out loud but also sort of invigorating. Nothing made sense in this world, bar one thing. Your feelings for him. You laughed, more words now rushing out. “I really like you. And I don’t know for how long. Maybe from the beginning,” you shrugged, “maybe from the kiss. I don’t know.” 
You’d been trying to pinpoint the exact moment on the ride home. Going through each memory you had with him in an attempt to understand when it happened. There was no real answer. It had snuck up on you, wanted you to be oblivious. And you think that was how it was for him too. Why last night had been so confusing. 
You were mad at him because you liked him too. You were mad at him because you thought he didn’t like you enough. He didn’t like you like he thought he liked you. God, you were a mess. Your thoughts weren’t making sense. What were you trying to say?
“I don’t know,” you repeated. “My head’s a mess and I really have a headache right now.” You rubbed your temples and then remembered something. “I also have a flat tyre. I think I drove over a nail on the way here. I don’t know how I’m going to get to work tomorrow morning.” 
“You could borrow my ca—
“Hobi, I don’t care.” You interrupted, laughing again. You felt funny, like you were floating. It felt good to call him that again. “I don’t care about anything right now, except you.” His eyes flashed at that, something changing on his face. He moved forward, closer to you. The counter was the only thing that separated you now. 
“I don’t understand anything and I’m really confused, but I know one thing,” you insisted, finally giving into the urge that had been raging your body for nearly two days. “I really want to kiss you.” You swallowed, tasting the memory of him. “Again. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss. It was the best kiss of my life.” 
He rounded the counter in the blink of an eye. He’d stayed silent for the majority of your confession, except for offering you his car, the idiot. You almost laughed again; why was he so sweet? Yeah, you would’ve laughed if he didn’t look so irresistible right now. So serious, so desperate, so intense. He was breathing heavily, almost panting, eyes blown black. 
“Can I kiss you now?” His voice was rough, broken with desire. 
You parted your mouth to reply. To say yes, to say please, to almost beg, but his lips were already on yours, hands cupping your face. Hungry, needy, eager. He pushed you against the counter your back was to, and you let out a gasp, maybe more of a moan. He took the opportunity to swipe his tongue against yours. He tasted like toothpaste. You hated spearmint, but now you loved it. 
You grasped him, letting your hands roam over his back. You wanted to touch him, feel him, never let him go. You grabbed the corners of his t-shirt with your fists and pulled him closer. He stumbled forward and your head feel back against one of the overhead cupboards. You didn’t care, clung to his mouth as he tried to pull back and check on you. “Don’t stop,” you whined against his lips. 
He chuckled but it trembled, probably had something to do with the way you were pressing your body into his. He gave up in the end, needing to get his hands on you too. He moved to your waist, hands gripping around the small of your back, holding you tight and pushing just as much into you, because he wanted to feel you against him too. To get as close as possible because there had always been a stupid, unnecessary distance between you. 
You felt hot, a little sweaty and out of breath, unsure how a kiss had got you this wrecked. It was just as good as his birthday—no, better. It was better because now you both knew what you wanted. 
“Hey—I know—this isn’t r-really the–mm–time,” Hoseok was trying to speak but he couldn’t stay away from your lips long enough. Words blurred and getting caught short, but you just kissed him more furiously. “But I really f-feel guilty about—last night. All the–the stuff I said–”
“It’s fine,” you got out, but it was enough to begin distracting you. 
He pulled back successfully, gazing at you, eyes warm and sincere. His breath fanned across your face. “I just feel really bad about all that stuff I said about Seokjin. He’s a good guy, I just—
“Let’s not speak about him now,” you interrupted softly. You took a deep breath, slipping your hands up his sides to rub his back. You were both coming down from that high slowly. 
He sighed weakly. “Yeah, I know, I just,” he paused, struggling, before giving a small shrug. “I was jealous of him.” 
“It’s okay,” you reassured. But now Seokjin was back in your head. The guilt was still there. Of course it wouldn’t go immediately, no matter how understanding he had been. But these emotions were conflicting. Plus, you knew you and Hoseok couldn’t be this simple. There was still so much to talk about. From both of you. 
“We need to talk before anything happens, right?” He read your mind. You smiled and nodded, feeling a little sad. 
And right at that moment a familiar banging appeared again. You caught Hoseok’s eyes and you both burst out laughing. Trust Namjoon to ease the moment.   
Hoseok pulled you upright, wrapping his arms around your waist now in a slight hug. You wrapped yours around his neck and he grinned. “We should go on a date tomorrow. We can talk then.” Your eyes widened. A date? Hoseok didn’t do dates. Not proper ones anyway. 
“I want to to this properly.” Again with the mind reading, you smiled to yourself. “I’ll take you out for dinner and we can, I don’t know, talk about what this means.” 
You grinned, Namjoon’s headboard still hitting the wall. “I’d really love that.” 
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You were giddy all day. Couldn’t concentrate in work. You were still replaying last night in your head. After the kiss you’d watched some television together, like you always did on Sunday nights. You sat close, but not entwined, too afraid Namjoon would pop out of his bedroom—hopefully fully clothed. You couldn’t explain why that fear hadn’t been there when Hoseok had your back against the counter, but whatever, you weren’t ready for the weirdness that would unfold, nor the conversations that would need to be had. You hadn’t even talked it out yourselves yet. 
That was for tonight. Hoseok had text you just gone midday to tell you he’d gotten his shift for tonight covered and he’d booked dinner at a restaurant for 8pm. After that it had all felt too real. You were nervous, scared and excited all wrapped up into one. You were going on a date with Hoseok. Your friend Hoseok. The one who you’d bumped into this morning in the kitchen. The one who’d handed you a coffee with a shy good morning because he couldn’t say anything else with Namjoon rummaging around in the fridge next to you, totally oblivious. 
And later on, once you were home, getting ready for the date was a whole new experience all together. You know, living with the guy in question and all. You bumped into one another in the bathroom, brushing your teeth together with awkward giggles. He met you outside of your bedroom once you were dressed, eyes wide, cheeks a little flushed at the sight of you. Maybe the fact you were dressed up for him now turned him speechless. “You look beautiful,” he’d managed to splutter finally. 
He didn’t scrub up too badly himself. He was in a shirt for one. Loose at the neck, no tie, but a shirt nonetheless. And dress pants. Where exactly was he taking you? You didn’t have time to ask because you had to ninja your way out of the loft before you got caught. 
Dinner started off awkwardly at first. Stumbling over words, small talk drying up, lots of nervous laughter, but gradually you both found your groove. How could you not? It was you and Hoseok! All the history and chemistry you had didn’t just disappear because of one date. You were soon giggling together when you noticed a man accidentally walk into the women’s restroom. Childish, yes, but who cared? That’s who you and he were. 
By the main course you were both ready to open up, talk about you guys and what this meant. 
“I’m sorry about yelling the other night,” he apologised, pushing some spinach around his plate absentmindedly. 
You gave a little shrug.  “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I was mad at myself more than anything.” 
“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t have to do that.” 
“Do what?” 
“Blame yourself.” He looked across at you. “You were mad because I kissed you when you had a boyfriend. I mean, it was a pretty dick-y thing to do and I feel really bad about it.” 
You smiled, that meant a lot to you. It was a complicated situation. The suddenness of it all the sole problem. 
You didn’t want to talk about Seokjin. You didn’t want to compare the two men, even though throughout the day your mind had tried to. In all honestly, both were very different, but both were good men. There was no winner, there was no loser. It just happened that you couldn’t ignore this chance with Hoseok. Not when he had been there first. Maybe looking at it now, you and Seokjin were different kinds of people. Maybe the relationship wasn’t as perfect as you’d thought. Not your perfect anyway. It could’ve worked out yes, but you knew he deserved someone better than you. Someone different to you. 
You realised something at that moment. Seokjin had always found your quirkiness adorable, but Hoseok found it normal. You didn’t know what that meant, but it made sense in your own head. It made you happy. You were here, in front of one another, on a date. Nothing else mattered.  
“If you hadn’t have done it we wouldn’t be here right now.” You told him. It was no good just thinking everything in your head. You needed to tell Hoseok some things. You wanted to tell him how happy you were. “On a dateee.” 
He laughed, relaxing into his chair. “We’re on a date!” 
He couldn’t quite believe it still. You laughed at how cute he was being and looked around. “You chose the fanciest place.” 
“Yeah,” he murmured, looking a little sheepish. “Did I go over the top? Feel like I did.” He stopped and then laughed. “I hope your heels aren’t too high, we gotta run outta here when they fetch the bill.” 
“Hobi,” you whined. He didn’t need to make a joke like that. Then you thought of something else. You hoped he didn’t take you here because he thought you expected it. Any restaurant would’ve done. “Hey,” you said softly. “I hope you don’t still believe all that stuff about you just being a bartender.” He shrugged a little sheepish. “I teach adults how to write fiction and I’m not too hot at it. Half of them are failing.” 
He chuckled at that, picking up his glass of wine. “I think the problem probably lies with them not you.” 
You looked at him, needing him not to laugh this off. You wanted him to see you didn’t care what job he had. “My point is, my job isn’t all that glamorous. It doesn’t have to be.” You thought he liked his job. It should never be used as something to separate you. 
He sighed softly, giving in. “I’m sorry I laid all that stuff on you. They’re my insecurities not yours. It’s just after… Just after the breakup with Minah. The stuff she said to me really stuck.” 
You reached for one of his hands, grasping is fingers. The warmth was all you needed. “I get that.” You still had some insecurities left over from your breakup with Seungwoo, but with Hoseok none of those things mattered. “I’m sorry for calling you childish, and selfish.” 
“And mean. Don’t forget mean,” he joked. 
“And mean.” You looked away sheepishly, before realising you needed to look him in the eyes for this. “I don’t want you to be insecure around me. I like you for you.” 
He chuckled quietly, squeezing your hand. “Thank you.” 
“I think it’s cool that you work at a bar.” You wanted to lighten the moment now, shrugging. “But maybe that’s because of the free drinks you give me.” 
He laughed, both of you pulling your hand back to carry on eating. “I’m actually not allowed to do that, but you’re so pretty how could I not?” 
You felt your cheeks flush at his casual remark. “You think I’m pretty?” 
“Very much so. Plus other things…” 
You smiled shyly. “I find you pretty too. Huh?” You noticed the face he pulled. “Is that not a good thing?” 
“I’m not pretty,” he baffled. 
“Are too.” You insisted. You’d always thought so, especially when he smiled. “I think you’re sexy too. Very sexy.” 
“Oh yeah?” He seemed to like that one better. “What’s so sexy about me?” 
You looked down at his wine. It wasn’t the right alcohol, but it made you remember something. “I like the way you drink beer. You gargle it a little.” 
“I do?” He looked puzzled. 
“Yeah, you do, and I don’t know, it’s kinda hot.” He looked chuffed at that. “What about me?” You added. 
“Hm,” he thought out loud. “It’s not really sexy, maybe a little misogynistic,” he laughed, “but I like when you struggle to open things. Like that bag of chips last week. When you ask for my help, I don’t know, it makes me feel good about myself.” 
It made him feel good when he opened a bag of chips for you? You awed loudly. “That’s so sweet, Hobi.” 
He scoffed, a little embarrassed. “Oh.” He remembered something. “I like when guys mistake me for your boyfriend.” 
You cocked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? I like that too. And vice versa.” You had never been able to pinpoint why in the past. It was usually gone before you could even try to explain it, but it had still been there. Numerous times. You’d just been clueless. 
“Isn’t this scary?” You asked. It was new and exciting, and you were happy, but it was also weird to be here. Sat opposite your friend, your roommate… the man you had feelings for. The man who up until a few nights ago, had a crush on another woman. No wonder he hadn’t really cared when Namjoon asked if he could bone Nara. And he, well he was sitting opposite you, who up until last night had a boyfriend. Talk about whiplash. This was crazy. 
“It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted. 
“We’re like best friends, but is it because we’ve always had feelings for one another?” 
Hoseok upturned his shoulders. “I honestly have no clue. It makes sense, but…” 
“But at the same time it doesn’t?” You finished for him. He nodded. If he had never kissed you that night, then this wouldn’t be happening right now. Maybe it would’ve never happened. You would’ve kept missing one another. The moment never there for him and you probably oblivious until it was too late… 
But that wasn’t the case now. You were both here. Suddenly and maybe not in the best of circumstances, but you were here. That’s all that mattered. Was there really such a thin like between friendship and lovers? You tried imagining kissing Namjoon but couldn’t do it. It made you feel weird. Not the same weird you’d felt locked in the closet with Hoseok. 
“I don’t want to ruin what we have already but I can’t ignore these feelings I have for you.” Hoseok explained. “I’ve been repressing them for so long they’re uncontrollable.” He chuckled. 
“Same. I think.” You were beginning to realise that love didn’t have to punch you in the face immediately for it to be the real thing. “If I ignore how I feel about you I’ll spontaneously combust. I know it. I will.” These feelings had hit you full force and now you couldn’t ignore them even if you tried. 
He chuckled at your passion. “I don’t want you to spontaneously combust.” A thought popped into his head. “What will Yoongi say? Namjoon?” He groaned, rubbing his temples.  “What do we even tell them?” 
“Maybe we won’t tell them for a little while?” You suggested. You didn’t want to share this new, uncertain thing with other people just yet. The loft wasn’t the best set up in this situation. “Just until we work out what’s going on between us?” 
“Like keeping it a secret?” 
“I know it’s not ideal but I don’t want to mess this up.” He nodded, agreeing with you. “If we try and fail our friendship could get ruined. That terrifies me, Hobi.” You wanted to be honest here. All cards on the table. “I love you a lot. I don’t want to jeopardise anything.” 
“Hey, hey, nothing will get ruined, I promise you,” he reassured, reaching for your hand with both of his. “We’ll take it as slow as you want. This is new and if we do it properly then everything will be okay in the end.” He gave you a gentle smile. “Whatever the outcome. If we decide to move forward or decide to just stay friends, we’ll be okay.” 
Maybe that’s why you’d never realised your feelings for him. Why he’d never said anything. Your friendship meant too much to one another. If that was ruined somehow it would kill you both. But it didn’t have to be like that. If you both saw the potential danger, you could avoid it best you could. You shouldn’t be thinking of the potential end if it was only just the beginning. 
“You’re right,” you smiled back. 
Letting go of your hand he relaxed back into the chair again. “But for tonight, let’s think of this as a new thing. It’ll take the pressure off us.” 
“How do you mean?” You asked, curious. He had a giant smirk on his face. 
He shrugged. “Maybe we met on Tinder. Decided to go for a drink.” 
Oh. Okay, you saw where he was going. A little bit of make believe. That sounded fun. You and Hoseok always messed around like this. Why would it change? “Yeah,” you nodded, getting into it instantly. “We liked what we saw. I liked the way you dress.” 
He snorted. “You hate my dress sense. You told me I dress like a twenty year old hipster.”  
“I like it!” You insisted. You mean, in your defence you’d only said that because he’d said you dressed like a granny. He’d started it. 
“Thank you.” He was satisfied, you both could commence. “I liked your glasses. Reminded me of the librarian kink I had in high school.” 
“Eww.” You wrinkled your nose. “Weirdo.” You both laughed loudly. 
.
.
“Goodnight, pretty lady. I’ll see you in the morning,” Hoseok murmured. The night was over, the loft was empty, the guys probably already in bed, when you got back and you both walked down the hallway to your rooms, stopping outside to say goodnight. 
“Lame,” you scoffed, but he could tell by your face you loved it. “Night.” 
He leaned in for a kiss. It seemed like he was trying to keep it brief, nothing like last night or two nights before that, but no matter how hard he tried, it lingered. It was painful pulling apart and walking into your bedroom. You knew he was trying to be chivalry, and patient, and whatever else, but there was an itch inside you that screamed to be relieved. 
You pressed the back of your head up against the door, closing your eyes and taking a few breaths. Praying the desire you felt would ebb away. You heard movement from the other side. 
“Slow, we should take this slow.” Hoseok almost whined from outside.  
You opened your eyes immediately and flung the door open. You were on him in an instant, kissing him eagerly. Thankful your rooms were the other side of the loft from Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s. There would he no explaining this, and you didn’t want to share this with anyone else yet. Not to be careful, not just in case, like you’d originally thought, but because you were selfish. You wanted Hoseok for yourself. 
“I really want you. Like so bad,” you panted, hands all over his body. You wanted him out of his shirt. Out of his pants. Thoughts and images jumped into your mind. You were a woman possessed. “I’ve waited too long already. Please.” 
“Don’t beg like that.” His voice was so low, maybe even a growl, and it did things to you. 
You didn’t want to take this slow. Everything was already perfect. No matter what had happened to get here, it was all perfect now. 
You couldn’t wait a moment longer. You needed to be with him. 
“Pleaseee,” you said purposefully. 
He growled this time. For real. “I said don’t–ah, fuck it!” You exclaimed out loud as he picked you up from the middle, legs dangling alongside his as he walked into your room. He let go and cupped your face tight. He was breathing heavily. “I really want this, I really like you. I’m sure of it. Now that this is finally happening. Now I finally had the guts to make a move. This is for real.” 
You blinked. “Forreal for real?” 
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” 
And then he was kissing you again. You never wanted it to stop. With shaky hands you took his and began to lead him backwards towards your bed…
*bonus* 
“Morning,” Hoseok smiled from above you. 
You’d only just woken up, eyes still blurry, but you rubbed them and rolled onto your back. “Good morning,” you smiled back. 
He rubbed his hand over your waist under the covers, now grinning like he couldn’t stop it. “We did that.” 
You were still naked. So was he. What a thought. “We really did that.” 
“Twice.” 
You hummed, reliving last nights antics. It was just so natural. The sex you mean. No awkwardness, no nerves. It was just…perfect. Giggling and messing around, just like you were as friends. Nothing had changed. Only now you were probably going to be bumping uglies on the regular… It was only right to make a new suggestion now. “Wanna make it a third?” 
“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, dipping his head to kiss your neck. You let yourself sink, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment until you remembered something. 
“Wait, wait—!” Your eyes flew open. “What’s the time?” 
Hoseok stopped and looked back, craning his neck to catch the time on your alarm clock. “Twenty past 7.” 
You groaned. “I have a class in 2 hours.” 
“Uhh,” he started awkwardly, pecking your lips. “This is new n’ all but I don’t want to get your hopes up so early into this. I will never be able to last two hours. You’ll be fine. You won’t miss class,” he chuckled. 
“Shut up,” you groaned, kissing him just to roll him on his back. The thought of leaving this bed today was depressing. “I’m just going to call in sick anyway.” You told him, pulling away.
He stroked his fingers through your hair, smirking. “Oh, a bad girl, huh?” 
You narrowed your eyes. If he wanted you to be bad, you could be bad. “Get a condom, Jung.” 
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