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#it makes analysis of the show so fun to create and read about
fellhellion · 1 year
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Utena truly is a show best experienced imo by not stressing about trying to pin down any one piece of symbolism to a singular meaning. In fact, the show actively rebuffs that kind of approach.
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comicaurora · 10 months
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I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!
Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"
I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.
To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.
But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!
I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.
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part two of an odd textual mystery analysis (haikaveh focus)
(part one of my thoughts can be found here!)
immediately after wrapping things up at the house of daena, kaveh takes to finding alhaitham solely in order to tell him what went down regarding the book (i've heard that in the CN, kaveh apparently looked for alhaitham for half a day??? help. the dedication)
alhaitham is shown to leave his perusing of a book stall to approach kaveh when called, which is an extra animation? (for me this is similar to the extra animations in the flashback scene within their house in cyno's story quest ii, with alhaitham putting the book down when interacting with kaveh)
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kaveh teases alhaitham, making him guess what he has in his bag - to which alhaitham goes along with, with his own dry sense of humour, guessing that it's the book, to which kaveh counters, but actually confirms by telling him that it's The Book
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kaveh tells alhaitham about the circling of names being due to him as an inadvertent instigator, to which alhaitham replies that he knew something like this would happen, ever since he saw Kaveh having circled the murderer's name - to which kaveh questions, because kaveh recalls returning the book to the house of daena after doing so?
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only for alhaitham to reveal that he read the book (previously?/after?) in the house of daena.. and that kaveh left the book in the study, after he circled the name of the killer. meaning that alhaitham saw the book that kaveh took out of the library, and was comfortable enough to open it, because he knew kaveh would be fine with it, because the study is their shared space??
(this reminds me a parade of providence where kaveh stresses that it's fine to look through documents that alhaitham has left out, since alhaitham wanted kaveh to look through them, but now it seems that the study is canonically their shared place? im thinking of kaveh's birthday letter calling it 'my' study, due to him being so comfortable with his residency with alhaitham... oh :D)
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kaveh being embarrassed about being caught out, but not annoyed with alhaitham looking through the book. they really are at so much more ease with each other!!
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kaveh then asking if alhaitham if circled a name, to which alhaitham confirms, saying that the second one (green ink... being the complimentary colour to kaveh's red ink okay...) is his, all in order to signal a red herring to throw off the people checking out the book after kaveh, in order to avoid kaveh spoiling the killer
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kaveh then questions why alhaitham only circled one, in contrast to other people, to which alhaitham rationalises by saying that circling two names is more than enough to avoid a spoiler, considering that kaveh used permanent ink when creating the spoiler
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kaveh pulls alhaitham up on this and says that alhaitham only circled one name on the first page, too, because he thought it would be funny - to which alhaitham agrees, saying it's more fun that reading the book, and kaveh agrees!
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in the line with their new rapport in bickering in cyno's story quest 2, this truly is just inconsequential bickering, they're enjoying each other's responses and chasing it, not misunderstanding the other and actively getting hurt. they've improved so much!!
alhaitham congratulating kaveh on officially owning the book, to which kaveh dismisses dejectedly - the camera pans out onto the traveller and paimon, but we see alhaitham say something to kaveh, continuing their banter outside of the player's knowledge
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this quest essentially happened because alhaitham and kaveh are that comfortable in sharing things with each other, and believing the other to want to share things, such as alhaitham perusing through a book that kaveh checked out from the house of daena, and feeling comfortable enough to interfere with one of kaveh's actions - using permanent ink to spoil the killer, in order to avoid spoilers for the next person, and, perhaps dually, repercussions on kaveh's part. kaveh shows no upset with this action, nor alhaitham looking through the book he left in the study
it nicely ties together the beginning and the end - kaveh and alhaitham dually act as the catalyst for the quest in their actions regarding the book, and we immediately cut to kaveh going to tell alhaitham about it when the problem is sorted. we start with alhaitham and kaveh, although we don't know it at first, and we end with them? it's an inconsequential quest, v fun, and v silly, but i love how we get lil insights into haikaveh's life in their home outside of the player <333
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dododan · 8 months
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Thoughts about Alastor after the episode "Hello, Rosie"
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Perhaps first such a small summary for those who haven't read my previous posts about Alastor.
Alastor's deal with someone has worked out. Officially we don't know with whom, but my theory is that it is Lilith.
Alastor is obliged by the contract probably to help/protect Charlie. His intentions are not clear, and he harbours many secrets.
He is not fond of Lucifer. Theories are that he either sees him as a threat to Charlie's hotel and dreams, or he is redirecting negative emotions about his own father and how Lucifer treated Charlie onto him.
Alastor enjoys being in the company of women and probably likes/appreciates Charlie. Perhaps he sees himself as her mentor.
His help, although chaotic and initially incomprehensible seems to be having an effect and actually helping the hotel and Charlie.
Alastor has a weakness for jazz and alcohol, but we don't see him ever drinking alcohol in the series.
His enemy is Vox, but he is more annoyed by Lucifer (probably because he is stronger than him).
Alastor doesn't like to lose or be wrong.
Here you have a link to previous thoughts if you are curious.
Alastor’s true motivations? - Why is he helping Charlie?
Dad beat Dad - Alastor, what the hell are you doing?
Traditionally, there are loads of spoilers here!
From the outset, Alastor seems interested/intrigued by Charlie sitting in the room and spinning another plan. Clearly he saw an opportunity in. Charlie was alone, so he could talk to her in peace. A plan was already forming in his head.
On Instagram, one girl made a fair analysis of Alastor's facial expressions. What expression on his face signifies what emotion. Which proved to be very helpful in understanding him! Here you have ig: @/sasha_draws.bg She did a really great job! But back to Alastor.
When Alastor feels some negative emotion, lines/wrinkles appear under his eyes. Which is true when you pay attention to the previous episodes, but in this 'Hello, Rosie' it is particularly noticeable.
For most of the time in this episode, Alastor seemed concerned to me.
When Alastor was talking to Charlie I had the impression that he was provoking her. He made Charlie painfully aware of how badly her plans had failed, which seems cruel. Initially this could be understood as simply an opportunity to take advantage of Charlie and make a deal, but I think this is just an added benefit. Alastor is bound by his contract to the hotel and Charlie, so he can't leave her. But Alastor has besides made Charlie realise that she can't idly brood on the bed because she doesn't have that luxury. Her friends were waiting for a plan, they were waiting for Charlie.
Charlie gave up at that point, and Alastor made her realise that there was still a chance to make things right somehow. He exasperated her, and showed her that she couldn't give up - in a rather cruel way but still, it's not always kind words or words of support that help you up.
Sometimes the painful realisation of the truth is the best motivator to undertake change.
For a moment, Alastor seemed annoyed that Charlie thought she had him figured out because she smiles all the time. He made her realise that the opposite is true.
A smile can be a weapon on many fronts. You could say that he gave Charlie some cue about his own behaviour. His lecture about smiling shows a lot about him.
Alastor hides a lot - his emotions, motivations or goals. He revealed to Charlie that he himself puts on a mask. The smile gives Alastor a sense of control.
The question is, isn't Alastor also lying to himself in this way?
He is creating himself as a cruel overlord, a person without a conscience who inflicts suffering on others for fun. It makes me wonder if he hasn't started to believe himself in the character he wants to pretend to be?
Nevertheless, no matter how good Alastor's goals may be attributed to him, or that his actions have a good effect on the hotel and Charlie, he still made a deal with her. He was aware that Charlie would not give up her soul to him and would not do anything against herself. Their deal is that Charlie is to help him like friend to friend when he needs it without hurting anyone, and he will give her information. Quite a specific arrangement and very narrow. To me their deal is a bit of a lifeline for Alastor when he finds himself trapped by his own contract.
[As an aside, I've noticed that a lot of people think that the stitches appearing on Alastor's lips are a sign that he can't talk about his deal. I doubt this because of the design of his character. Alastor was shown at many points to be dealing with voodoo or somehow connected to it. This is indicated by the green symbols that appear when he uses his powers, and the stitching that appears on his mouth probably refers to the very design of the voodoo dolls, which also had their mouths stitched in this way. Ironically in my opinion, voodoo is generally good magic, focusing on healing or helping, which doesn't really fit Alastor. Unless one considers the distinction between white and black magic as it is known in New Orleans. But I also point out that I'm not an expert, but I'm just partly familiar with the subject of voodoo and just wanted to show a reference to Alastor's appearance here].
I think Alastor's worry or uncertainty is most evident when he leads Charlie to Rossie. You can see the look on his face and those wrinkles under his eyes. This could be interpreted as:
he's upset that the angels are about to exterminate in the hotel and the only person who can oppose it is preoccupied with his love problems rather than more important matters.
He is upset/worried that he realises he won't be able to help Charlie this time, so he leads her to the only person who is more knowledgeable about love than him: Rossie.
He is nervous because he sees that he might fail if the hotel is destroyed, and that this might somehow breach his contract.
Alastor and Rossie seem to have a very intimate relationship, which was implied in the episode " Scrambled Eggs" when they were at the Overlords meeting. Now we have confirmation that they are very close friends. Rossie can afford a lot in Alastor's company and he allows her to do so. It also seemed to me that when he met Rossie he relaxed a bit, as the wrinkles under his eyes disappeared for a few scenes.
All in all, I'm not surprised that Alastor and Rossie are friends.
Rossie is the opposite of Alastor in a way. She seems transparent in her feelings and genuinely cares about her cannibals. But she also has the strength and power to allow herself to do so. Alastor, on the other hand, plays and hides emotions all the time, and gains power through fear. Despite this, he gets along very well with Rossie, which may mean he's not quite what he makes himself out to be.
I also think that Rossie's words about it being actions that show true nature and feelings may apply to Alastor and his role in season two in the future. But we can already see this now, for example, in the fact that his duet with Lucifer, where Alastor sang that he wanted to replace Charlie's father, ultimately led to a reconciliation between daughter and father which Alastor seemed to be happy with.
We also have it made clear that Alastor is asexual.
Rossie commented that Alastor could learn manners from Charlie. It is possible that what is meant is that when someone annoys Alastor, he does not mince his words. He makes his opinion clear - Susan is a perfect example of this.
Alastor and Rossie really seem close to each other, such as when they look at each other when Charlie panics, or how they dance with each other or their negativity towards Susan. Additionally, Alastor must have had a close business relationship with Rossie since she had an assignment for him and when she said that he never let her down. I got the impression that this gave him considerable satisfaction. Plus it helped the image he wanted to create for Charlie - that he was reliable.
Alastor also seems to put his faith in Charlie after all. Rather than believing in her plan of salvation for sinners, he believes more in the girl's ability to draw crowds and motivate people to action other than through fear or deals. It is hard to say whether he admires this trait of Charlie's, but he certainly appreciates her for it.
Alastor supported Charlie during her song when she had to convince the cannibals to fight - either by giving her the microphone or showing her a thumbs up. I further related that he was slightly worried/nervous, but also pleased after seeing his actions bear fruit.
Alastor also made it clear to Rossie that he valued Charlie and expected nothing less from her than to thrill the crowds. But the important thing is that he referred to her as the Princess of Hell, not Charlie. Alastor has made it clear for the first time that he wants to fulfil Charlie's potential, this shows that despite the faith he has in her, he still only sees her as the Princess of Hell and not Charlie as someone who is more than just a princess.
A break for now, as it's quite late at my place, so expect the rest of the analysis tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow at the furthest.
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I need your thoughts on Martyn.
Jesus Christ in heaven where to start.
I was planning to write massive essay posts about each of the winners sooner or later, I guess Martyn can skip the queue. As a treat.
BAD traffic series martyn analysis post don't read. LONG POST
note: rules I'm operating by are to keep the analysis primarily traffic-based (although this one's kind of an exception because. mr watcher lore) and I'm not rewatching entire POVs so stuff might be wrong so on so forth
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Why is he... Like that?
So before I even start talking about 3L I feel the need to address Martyn's background first because, not unlike alot of the other members of the cast, Martyn's previously established relationships from series like Evo have a significant impact on how he behaves.
This is kind of difficult for me to talk about because it breaks my "no material outside of the traffic series" rule for these essays specifically, but I think it's honestly just more fun incorporating Martyn's off-series lore drops and such into his character instead of leaving them out.
So here's the basis I work from -- Martyn is the most unreliable narrator in a full cast of them. His lore is his character's version of events, not an unbiased retelling.
Whether the Watchers exist and whether they're the same entities present in Evo doesn't matter all that much, since all we know is that they are very real to Martyn, at least. Taking the lore as Martyn's POV also helps iron out some of the more awkward creases it creates when viewing the series as a whole (e.g. Grian's involvement with the Watchers surely means he would reference them himself, yet he doesn't) and lays the groundwork for some really interesting things about Martyn himself when you try to put the dots together on how he arrived at these conclusions. I'll be referencing these as they come up chronologically.
So, without over complicating things, here are the rules I'm playing by when it comes to pre-3L Martyn:
Evo did really happen with the same people, however the exact details are muddy.
Martyn knew Jimmy prior to the games and the two already had some sort of personal connection going in.
We're not trusting a word out of his mouth. Especially if he says them on stream. But we are going to acknowledge what those words are.
With those parameters set, let's move on:
Third Life, and the guy who gets a little too into it
Like Grian, Martyn immediately acclimates to the game's survival-based mechanics. Martyn spends a good chunk of the first session of 3L seemingly aimless, but he makes observations and choices throughout that show he has survival at the back of his mind (e.g. him quickly establishing an alliance with Grian and Bigb while sneakily putting them in his debt through the diamonds he finds early -- even if this doesn't end up paying off to anything).
Unlike Grian however, Martyn less desperately clings onto a need for an edge to survive and seems almost comfortable in playing the game. A running theme for him throughout all the seasons will be that he seems to feel most comfortable when he has some amount of unspoken power over others, whether that be something as silly as testing the waters with his creeper soundboard or later when he starts playing 4D chess with himself in regard to his loyalties.
"Power" might be not exactly the right word for what Martyn yearns for, but it's the best word I can find to really describe it. He's always the one with a card up his sleeve or a plan B or, arguably most importantly, the one with control over the situation and responsibility over his own and others' wellbeing.
In my mind, at least, I think it might be a consequence of Martyn actually being quite sensitive in terms of relationships and having this very deep-seeded need to protect his loved ones from harm but lacking the emotional intelligence necessary to allow himself to be vulnerable about those feelings and communicate properly. So instead he finds some way to protect himself emotionally (usually overdramatic and makes him way worse) and treats everyone including himself with a level of un-seriousness that alleviates the tension for him.
If I were to dig deeper into this specific point I must say Martyn seems to have chosen to perform a very specific breed of masculinity, with his constant agonizing need to protect and lead while not having to confront his own perceived weaknesses, and alot of his insecurities and frustrations come from being denied that husband-y role to play.
His interactions with Jimmy early on in 3L portray this side of him quite plainly. After seeing Scott hit him around at Renchanting, Martyn gets Jimmy alone and asks him if he's okay but after Jimmy dodges the question, Martyn quickly becomes frustrated and starts acting very overdramatic (e.g. threatening to cut Jimmy off, "I can't look at you", so on) even as Jimmy keeps insisting they keep talking.
In my humble opinion, it's clear to me from how he speaks to Jimmy in this scene and further on, and from his referencing of their Evo relationship, that this is these two's established dynamic - the way Martyn dramatizes everything feels almost as if he were making a joke of it, teasing Jimmy, almost akin to how an older sibling or very old friend would act. It's possible that Martyn didn't expect Jimmy to take any of his threats seriously (although he definitely was laying on the pressure to try and get him to agree in the moment) and that's why he's so taken aback when Jimmy does act almost afraid of him from this point forward.
Not once does Martyn ever verbalize his own feelings regarding the matter. He never says that he's scared or worried for Jimmy, or even makes any sort of subjective judgment on Scott's character for hitting Jimmy in the first place. He makes it all about Jimmy, never communicating *why* he is doing what he's doing which ends up giving off the impression he thinks he knows what's best for him, which of course never communicates to Jimmy that Martyn cares for or loves him and ends up pushing him away as a result.
Speaking of Scott, despite Martyn clearly not approving of the way he treats Jimmy (judging from the aforementioned conversation and his later lore streams where he essentially calls Scott and Jimmy's marriage a sham), he does not ever act antagonistically towards Scott. Which I think is indicative of another key trait of Martyn's - an almost uncanny ability to push aside his own feelings at least momentarily for the sake of the game.
Martyn does not speak badly to or about Scott. He even explores the nether with him very early on and the two literally joke about trapping the Flower Valley and killing Jimmy together.
I think there's an understanding and perhaps a level of respect, on Martyn's end, towards Scott. One of the first observations he makes about Scott's base, after all, is its defensive location and Scott, like Martyn, values his own competency and likes to pretend he's more emotionally unattached to his partner than he really is (the parallels between Martyn/Ren and Scott/Jimmy are even somewhat lampshaded by Martyn himself when he refers to them as "my red" (Ren) and "your red" (Jimmy) later).
It seems that Martyn doesn't dislike anything innate to Scott's nature, and even has love for his manipulative traits. If it were anyone other than Jimmy Scott was hitting, I'd argue, Martyn wouldn't have raised a fuss about it. Not to mention, there's also a sense of "keeping your enemies closer" when it comes to these two, as both seem acutely aware the other is useful on their side and a threat anywhere else.
I'd argue despite the fact he's able to push his dislike towards Scott aside, he definitely still feels spiteful towards him, as he ends up hunting him down pretty mercilessly come the end of the series (after Jimmy dies too - so perhaps there was also a level there of feeling the need to put up with Scott beforehand as he was Jimmy's only ally, but now that Jimmy's gone there isn't any need to be friendly with Scott anymore.)
Now onto the heavy-hitter Martyn 3L relationship - his dynamic with Ren.
I'll be honest I think most treebark shippers have summed up their relationship way better than I could. You could probably go into the tag and see thirty eight analysis posts more indepth and accurate than mine. However I will say that one thing I see rarely mentioned is this very obviously being Martyn's first time meeting Ren (I'm talking about characters here but here is your acknowledgement this is definitely a result of this literally being the case for the CCs).
He's not used to Ren's mannerisms -- during their first meeting, Ren says his usual "ex-squeeze me" (instead of "excuse me") and Martyn responds "no thankyou, I'm married". Not to get too into it as this is The Martyn Post but Ren's POV would imply the same since he sees Martyn's name in chat and he immediately starts theorizing about what kind of player he is.
I think Ren essentially being a stranger to Martyn at the start of the series makes it easier for him to act manipulatively and keep him at arm's length, as well as be in denial about the whole emotional attachment thing. For so much of their alliance during 3L Martyn is acting, performing to match Ren's vibes, except he's not.
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^this quote and the concept of freudian slips informs like 88% of my worldview, if anyone's wondering why I'm. like that.
"The Hand" is very much not how Martyn naturally acts or behaves, down to the change in speaking patterns. It's a persona that I think both Ren and Martyn never take too seriously or mistake for Martyn's authentic self, but it's also something Martyn uses to express his innermost feelings he disallows himself from usually. Yes it's all silly even in-universe but I think there's something special about how he constantly expresses his devotion as The Hand, even if he's doing it with a layer of irony. Plus, I think it says something that, jumping later in the timeline, his flashbacks in LimLife are much more true to the character of The Hand than Martyn himself.
This section is already long enough but I do have to mention Bigb, Grian and Scar or I'll explode.
Earlier on, I touched on Martyn giving Grian and Bigb diamond swords early and it being an attempt to leverage an alliance between them. This I admit might be a slight reach however the reason I say that is Martyn continues to pursue Bigb and Grian as allies throughout the season.
Bigb is cut and dry enough, he ends up floating around the outside of Dogwarts as a not-quite-member after the siege in which pretty much half the sever were antagonized by Grian and Scar. I'm probably not the person to thoroughly dissect Martyn/Bigb but there's something interesting there about how alot of people tend to have this general fondness towards Bigb and Martyn is no exception.
As for Grian, Martyn acknowledges that Grian is responsible for the siege, possible moreso than Scar, but keeps questioning how "gone" he is, worded as if he believes Scar is manipulating him. I've seen people compare this to how he acts towards Jimmy and Scott which I can definitely see the throughline. However, I think while both are an example of Martyn's protector/saviour complex, they are innately different due to Martyn's relationships with both the perceived victim and captor in each case.
Despite Grian also being an ex-Evo member, Martyn does not act towards him with the same familiarity he does with Jimmy. He also brings up Grian's welfare with Bigb and not Grian himself, with Bigb being the other person involved in their earlier established sword alliance. To me, it feels as if Martyn is more testing the waters for if he can still get Grian on his side than out of any genuine concern for Grian, although it is possible he's projecting some of those leftover feelings regarding Jimmy's situations onto Grian and Scar.
The other reason is, I think, Martyn might genuinely be afraid of Scar himself and villainizing him as a result. Everytime Scar shows up in Martyn's POV he's paired with tense music and sporadic editing that makes him appear more unhinged. Martyn has also said on tumblr he found Scar intimidating at the time, which is of course a dubiously canon source but I find it applicable enough.
It makes sense, too. When you compare Martyn's treatment of Scar vs his treatment of Scott. These are both people he has recognized as real threats and he assumes both are manipulating their respective partners, but while he remains friendly (at least outwardly) towards Scott he's constantly wary of Scar, drawing weapons on him pretty much on sight even before the siege.
I think Martyn fears Scar because he doesn't understand Scar. Scott is someone like him who he knows the inner workings of, or at least that's what he believes, so while he doesn't care for him he doesn't feel a need to keep him away. Martyn always assumes a level of coordinated malice from Scar that is more than often either completely unfounded or a result of something originating from Grian (my favourite example of this is, right before the siege, Scar wanders over with his bee on a lead and Martyn starts yelling "he's got a bee! what does that mean?!" as if expecting the bee has some pvp reason behind it. when scar just wanted to have a bee).
That isn't to say that Scar isn't malicious - Martyn is right like 90% of the time that Scar's not-so-subtle friendly hellos have some sinister plan behind them, but he doesn't ever truly get that Scar isn't the evil mastermind he thinks he is.
I'd argue this fear is what also makes Martyn not pick up on the fact that Grian is the more manipulative one out of the two - something that even Scott seems aware of - because he never spends enough time with them on friendly terms to be aware of that dynamic.
Last Life AKA big brother syndrome in full blast
Okay that was a long ass section sorry lmao have to establish everything there. Everything from here on is gonna be a lot cleaner I swear.
The Southlanders could honestly have their own ultra-long post about how they're the perfect disaster team-up lord of the flies esque situation the series has to offer.
Impulse, Grian and Martyn are all similar in that they understand they have to play the game a certain way through keeping their loyalties dubious while Mumbo, as a newcomer, is extremely naive and goes along with whatever the more assertive members of the group say. And Jimmy is Jimmy.
Martyn takes on a leadership role within the group, being the one to constantly spearhead their humour and come up with new often disruptive plans (usually targetting Scott because he totally isn't spiteful still, albeit in a very playful way). After Joel traps their base with tnt minecarts, Martyn is the one to keep everyone else back and disarm them, a huge contrast to 3L's siege.
Their group embraces the rules of the game - if you turn red, as Grian does early on, you are kicked out from the group as a threat. There's this sinking feeling throughout all their spyglass shenanigans and life-trade trust exercises that this is still an alliance in a death game and if you prove yourself to be a detriment, you will be kicked out.
It's no wonder than why Jimmy, who gets his usual bottom of the barrel treatment, tries to run away with Martyn's life during one of their trust exercises. He's been shown at this point he can't fully trust the Southlanders to protect him forever -- how could he, when Martyn, again, never slips in any sign of affection between the teasing?
To Martyn, however, this is a betrayal of his trust. His plea to Jimmy to return sounds a lot like their conversation back in 3L on the snowy mountain regarding Jimmy and Scott, except this time Jimmy accepts Martyn's offer and Martyn tells him he was lying, calling him an idiot for believing him in the first place. This is probably the harshest Martyn acts towards Jimmy in the series, but it's worth mentioning that to Martyn the timeline of events goes he offers Jimmy his protection and alliance--> Jimmy refuses--> Jimmy dies (which Martyn probably sees at least partially due to said refusal) --> he gets Jimmy back and does everything in his power to keep him safe --> Jimmy does the equivalent of *killing him* and tries to get away with it.
Martyn still obviously cares about Jimmy despite being upset at him, as after his usual dramatics and declaring a trial for Jimmy in which each of the Southlanders vote on his fate, Martyn still votes to keep Jimmy in the group (again, something Jimmy is never made aware of).
Possibly partially because of the Jimmy incident and the overall dog-eat-dog culture of the Southlanders, Martyn does to them what he never managed with Dogwarts - betrayal. At least, on some level.
Ironically, it's Ren he betrays them for, forming the Shadow Alliance and even giving the life Jimmy had attempted to steal from him to Ren instead. My read of this has always been that it supported Martyn truly being happy enough for Jimmy or someone else to have his extra life, but Jimmy's act of betraying him itself being what hurt him.
I think now's a good time to start mentioning the Watcher Lore, as here is where it starts kicking into gear. Martyn's claims of emotional bonds not carrying over from previous seasons is not only a very natural progression from his emotional distancing in a coping mechanism sense, but also enables him to betray Ren too later on and not have to confront the guilt that comes with that when he tries to lead him into a tnt trap in the final 1v1v1v1. However, he still cheers for Ren as a ghost and even says that he would be happy to see Ren win, indicating he really does not hold any malice towards him.
I've seen people make jokes about the watcher lore being Martyn schizoposting and I'm sure I've made similar jokes in the past but. Speaking very genuinely here Martyn's questionable sanity is a big part of his character to me.
His Episode 8 of LL literally begins with him acting out the usual running joke of him stealing Mumbo's intro, except Mumbo and Jimmy are dead at this point and he is doing their voices and talking to himself. When the illusion is broken, he panics and the video immediately cuts to him running around obviously distressed with a disembodied voice demanding things from him.
I'm obviously not authorized to diagnose every single one of Martyn's many mental illnesses, but I think mentally breaking down in a timeloop death game is a fairly average thing to happen to someone, and Martyn might be especially susceptible due to his aforementioned need for power and responsibility in every relationship (i.e. I'd like to think he feels some helplessness/guilt over Jimmy and Mumbo's deaths, leading to this sequence).
Not to mention, someone who is emotionally vulnerable coming up with a nebulous Group of Evil People who are the source of all the bad things in a helpless situation of violence is. Something that happens historically quite alot. To try and find reason in the madness is just a human instinct, I think.
One thing I feel like I should mention is his "marriage" with Mumbo which. I honestly don't see as anything more than a gag. Not that Martyn isn't a massive hypocrite but "marrying" Mumbo would be very much contradict what he has to say about Scott/Jimmy's situation. I do think he cares for Mumbo and potentially Mumbo's naivete served as incentive for Martyn to put on the usual assertive/provider role but I don't think there's much more than that (no hate to the shippers, tho, if they knew eachother for like a week longer they would've kissed)
Double Life. Oh no
Double Life Martyn is one of my favourite POVs in the series because it is. Hilarious. Unfortunately.
To start off, he is one of the players who almost immediately accepts the soulbound system as romantic and his views on Cleo/Scott's relationship are heavily based on that (I love that one clip where he mocks them in front of Jimmy).
Him acting flabbergasted at Cleo rejecting him despite pretty much having no relationship with her prior to this season is a really funny contrast to Scott and Pearl, especially when he continues pursuing her like they're recently divorced and Cleo's just like. rolling her eyes. It's all very performative on Martyn's end and why I mentioned his sense of masculinity at the start, because in theme with DL being The Feminism Season TM this is when it comes full throttle in display with the way he treats Cleo.
Martyn keeps referring to himself as a "provider" and refers to Cleo's relationship with Scott as "childish" -- Martyn trying to win over Scott's partner to his side, assuming he knows best for the partner and calling their relationship a sham? Does any of this sound familiar?
Cleo is not like Jimmy, however, and is very clear to Martyn in terms of what she wants from him - which is an apology, no diamond swords or heart-shaped houses, but Martyn in all his emotional denseness can't understand this and keeps assuming there must be some hidden strings attached.
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I couldn't find the original meme I had in mind but these are within the same genre. The one I remember had captioned something like "dads don't say "i love you" but they will buy ten boxes worth of the fruit they overheard you say you liked once", which pretty much sums up Martyn's emotional intelligence to me. He would much rather give you way too much of something he thinks you need (e.g. with Jimmy the playful teasing, with Cleo the acts of service) than just say "I love you".
Cleo's blunt honesty serves as a stark contrast to Jimmy and brings something out of Martyn that we rarely ever see -- a genuine, vulnerable interaction in which he has to admit he's hurt. Cleo immediately denies him the role of rescuer he wants to play by telling him directly that she, not Scott, was the one who came up with the idea of teaming up and even gets Martyn to verbalize he's hurt by their actions and cares for her.
Once that illusion is shattered for Martyn and Cleo even admits she's acting manipulatively towards Scott, Martyn realises he and Cleo are more alike than he initially assumed and that he doesn't need to take care of her like he always tries to with his relationships. Ironically, the one relationship he has that is born almost entirely out of government mandated performative romance, is the one that gets him to examine how he views people especially his romantic interests the most.
This is, of course, all said with the fact that following this very heartfelt moment, the next time he speaks to Cleo he pushes her off a fucking cliff and kills her in mind. And the fact that he was very much beating the shit out of her and even called their relationship "toxic" himself early on in the season.
It's kind of hard to gauge Cleo and Martyn's relationship from this point forward but Martyn definitely chills on the namecalling and cooperates with Scott and Cleo for the main part going forward.
I think it's also worth mentioning that, despite Scott once again being the object of his spite, Martyn is once again friendly with Scott all season. When he catches Cleo and Scott mid-axe crit, it's Cleo he starts hitting and not Scott, despite them both being responsible. Behind his back, Martyn will claim Scott is "ruining" Cleo but to his face Martyn is always respectful. He actually even calls Scott "pretty"/"hot" in the last episode, which has some implications I'll talk about more in the Limlife section.
Martyn, like everyone else, is weird about Pearl. Uniquely in his case, Pearl isn't a witch nor demoness, but rather a non-factor he seems to have had written off and her triumph in the end comes as a shock to his system.
He dismisses her concerns over and over in the first episode as they are exploring together and, instead of seeing her as a natural source of allyship, doesn't value her enough to keep her around as an alliance even after Scott and Cleo dump them. In his heart to heart with Cleo, he even very randomly speaks badly of her, although he immediately seems to feel a bit of guilt over it.
He never seems to view Pearl through a sympathetic lens despite the two being in the same circumstance and, again in the same conversation with Cleo, they both agree that she could act as essentially a pawn (an "extra healthbar") for them like Cleo uses Scott.
I feel the need to clarify that while, yes I do believe Martyn is Weird About Women, I also do think he's honestly above average and sees them more as people than some other men in the series (note: my standards are not very high)
He sees most people as nothings that can be manipulated or competition that also can be manipulated, it just so happens that all the women in the series so far land squarely in the former and it took Cleo saying to his face "I'm taking advantage of Scott" for him to realise she wasn't a victim. However, even afterwards, he never treats her with the same competitiveness he has for people like Scott and Scar (albeit it makes enough sense in this season since she's attached to his healthbar, but this remains the same for future seasons). And as a reminder, he holds respect for those he deems as threats, which might have something to do with why he feels comfortable hitting Cleo but not Scott.
As for Ren and the Broken Hearts Club, they didn't get a lot of time together this season since both were preoccupied with their own soulmate dramas and being awful to Pearl but what we do see of them ranges from heartwarmingly nostalgic to a little bit hollow. Martyn saying to Pearl that they're the same at this point doesn't really read to me as him being truly sympathetic since this is post the "you should go use pearl as your second hp bar" conversation and Ren is way too busy to deal with the emotional turmoil of what's going on between himself and Bigb to really pay attention to Martyn.
Ren is still very kind to Martyn, especially considering the last time he saw him in LL Martyn was trying to kill him, but there's an emotional gap between the two that's very noticeable at least to me when compared to 3L and LL.
I think Martyn, at this point, convinced of his own "emotional bonds don't carry over seasons" logic, might be a bit too comfortable on relying on Ren. In both DL and LL he runs to Ren when his current alliance gets shaky and Ren is a source of definite comfort for him (as he said so himself on stream). Ren, as a source of comfort, is not a threat to Martyn aka not someone he needs to keep tabs so when said source of comfort falls through the gaps, you get:
Limited Life. The one where he compares himself to Joffrey from GOT
I don't think I have much to say about LimLife Martyn that hasn't already been said.
I will say I don't necessarily think Majorwood is purely his rebound relationship from Ren, the Mean Gills forming is very much not OOC for either Scott or Martyn (this is pretty much how they acted with eachother at the start of 3L) and their resulting give and take coworker-esque dynamic is a very natural place for them to end up from their previous interactions. Scott, like Martyn, tries to shed his emotional attachments with each new season so they are, in a very literal sense, making eachother worse by reinforcing that habit by normalizing it to eachother.
However, the parallels to their respective 3L partnerships I can't blame people for pointing out, right down to Martyn killing both Ren and Scott in the seaons he was teamed with them and the latter being happy about it.
I think it's time to say what I've been implying with Scott and Martyn throughout this whole thing and that is that they are eachother's ideal ally. They are both aware of the game, play the game, emotionally distant, manipulative and make themselves suffer more for that mindset. I don't think there was ever a moment in their allyship where either assumed the other wasn't going to stab them in the back later, despite the mutual respect they have being very real.
Martyn spends a lot of time this season just wandering around talking to various people, alot like how he acted in 3L before he and Ren became an official thing. It's almost as if, without Ren there, he loses his default go-to guy and is once again sizing up the competition around him.
The one exception I would say would be his interactions with Cleo, who he seems genuinely friendly with, even offering himself up as a "godfather" for the Clockers before the whole server became some form of extended family. You'd think this alliance would also have some basis in the ever present Scott/Cleo alliance but Scott's constant sacrifices for the Clockers are never discussed between him and Martyn, in fact the two of them rarely talk about anything ever past base-building and dolphin-wrangling, and the Clockers seem to treat them as two seperate entities rather than an alliance (e.g. Bdubs seems almost entitled to Scott's life after a certain point, but none of them ever even consider asking Martyn for time).
That, and of course the fact that Martyn kills Scott very unsympathetically towards the end, really point me in the "Martyn is still spiteful towards Scott" direction -- after all, alliance or no alliance, I don't think Martyn would want to be in the conversation with Scott where he tells him about his "love you back" exchange with Jimmy. Martyn certainly respects Scott, loves Scott I'd even say, but I don't know if he actually likes Scott.
I think it's also interesting that it's this season where Martyn's Watcher Lore interludes make a return, just in time for his source of comfort (Ren) to be missing.
Re: the watcher lore the comment Martyn makes about swapping out souls of players who are too "damaged" is very in line with his DL seeing women (and "weaker" men like Jimmy, Mumbo and, of course, Ren) as default victims as, knowingly or not, he implies through this that all the women in the series have souls too weak to withstand the horrors. This also in turn implies that he himself is not broken, which I think he'd like to believe.
Secret Life. It's happy again :D oh wait no
Secret Life starts with Martyn kissing Jimmy. I feel like we moved on from this way too fast in general I mean on the cheek or not he did kiss him he did literally kiss him.
I'll be honest I think the Big Dogs POV is the one I'm least familiar with out of all of these but from what I do remember it's very nice to see Martyn and Jimmy settling back into what seems like their Evo dynamic or even their pre-horrors LL dynamic.
Unfortunately Jimmy is not Cleo and thus cannot get Martyn to be the slightest bit vulnerable, so their dynamic remains stagnant and neither acknowledge the awkwardness that still resides between them.
Jimmy is at least very clearly holding onto some discomforts, judging by his behaviour late in the series when he acts aggressively towards Pearl and celebrates Lizzie dying. He even chases Scott down with a sword on horseback earlier on and, very early in one of Pearl's episodes, he quickly switches between sounding sad and angry.
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It's clear to me at least SL Jimmy has reached some sort of breaking point, and this never gets acknowledged by Martyn (I like to think he just lacks the EQ to deal with it). This all cascades into Jimmy attempting to kill Martyn and running away before dying.
SL Martyn feels almost like, to me, the 3L Martyn who successfully convinced Jimmy to team with him and the disaster that comes with that. Martyn certainly has continued to be his survivalist self, not trusting outsiders to the point where when the Wither/Warden combo is unleashed, he immediately assumes they're picking off reds and goes to hide.
Weirdly enough, his protective tendencies towards Jimmy are pretty much gone. It's almost as if when he doesn't see an active threat (e.g. Scott) he assumes things must be good enough and leaves it at that, which also implies he can't comprehend that He might be detrimental to Jimmy himself.
Obligatory. Yes he still misses Ren. Him literally basing his alliance concept off of dogs is. hilarious. I'm so sorry babygirl.
Real Life is, again, non-canon to me but turns up the "dad who buys you 45 mandarins" energy to 11 with him being Ren and Skizz's pseudo-dad. I love Ren having a crisis about his own RP btw it's the funniest thing and he does it like. Everytime.
Uh yeah I hope that's long enough
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zepskies · 2 months
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Hey Zepskies! I'm a small writer but I'm starting on my ficlet about an oc x ben (soldier boy). I've read so much of your work and just think you are a very talented writer. Do you have any tips on writing ben? it can be vague and I know you're busy so I don't expect a response. :)
Hey there!
First off, welcome and thank you for reading my stories (and for that lovely compliment). 💕
As for your question, writing Soldier Boy (Ben) can be very tricky. It took me a while to fully figure out how to write the character, and I will say, it's a challenge every time I do dive back into this (loveable) asshole.
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😂 That said, here are 3 main tips I have for writing his character:
1. Comparable archetypes:
When I started trying to do a character analysis of this guy, I started with who he would've likely looked up to and tried to emulate: Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, John Wayne, Indiana Jones, John Winchester, and even Dean Winchester to an extent -- the strong, stoic, man of action archetype.
AKA: The Big Swinging Dick™️ in the Room.
These men are leaders, a "man's man," show no pain, weakness, or vulnerability. (So shove those "soft" emotions down your gullet as much as humanly possible. Real men don't cry, amirite? 🙄)
But the fun thing I find about guys like this is, even though they have a hard shell, being able to pierce the armor somehow and get to the creamy center of their heart can be a very rewarding story indeed.
2. The balance of SB's personality:
Based on what we got in season 3 of The Boys, I find that Soldier Boy's personality is a delicate balance of a few key things:
Arrogant Narcissist: He's a massive ego, selfish with a conflated sense of his own importance. Especially before his capture, he's reached the pinnacle of fame. He's bought into his own hype and the backstory Vought created for him, and he assumes that everyone in his life loves him for it.
As Jensen said of his character in Supes Ain't Always Heroes (check out my review of the book here if you like):
“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)
Womanizing Misogynist: That entire scene with SB and Grace in Nicaragua tells you all you need to know about how Soldier Boy talks, treats, and views women. 🙄 Again, he's a narcissist, so he assumes women are going to be into him because he's the world's biggest superhero, because he's handsome, because he's that guy.
The problem is, he is devastatingly handsome and impressive as a superhero. And my headcanon is he can be very charming when he wants to be. Again, using his skills as an actor and channelling that old-world debonair charm to get what he wants. (i.e. Cary Grant, etc.)
Violent and Indifferent to Collateral Damage: This is a key one, because this is part of what makes him different from Homelander. SB is not a psychopath. He doesn't necessarily enjoy hurting people. He just doesn't care about the collateral damage.
He also can't tolerate a perceived slight to his masculinity or status, like when Black Noir tried to rise up in the ranks and come into his own as a movie star. Soldier Boy, in his selfishness, saw that as Noir trying to come for his crown, in a sense, which is why he ultimately showed his mean streak through violence.
When he gets back to the U.S. after escaping Russia, he's on a warpath of vengeance against his team who sold him out, and anyone who gets in his way.
"If they have it coming," he tells Hughie.
3. Soldier Boy is both less and more than what he represents: (AKA: His insecurities)
As we know, Soldier Boy didn't really storm Normandy or fight the Nazis. He falls short of every definition of a hero. However, he's also not just a caricature of toxic masculinity.
Ben has deep-seated insecurities that he buries under all the bravado and the Soldier Boy persona. He was also emotionally abused by his father, who set exacting standards for what it meant to be a man.
It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.
He won’t be one to easily admit he’s wrong, or need help, or express emotions he deems are “soft.” He doesn’t want to look weak or demean himself, let alone be genuinely vulnerable.
He uses coping mechanisms like drugs to mask and dull his PTSD, but even in his heyday, I think he drugs and parties hard just to pass the time, and to mask how actually empty he is inside. He has no real love in his life, and no family. It's why he admits to Hughie that he wanted kids. Deep down, he wants a family to fill that void that fame, booze, drugs, and meaningless sex can't fill in his life.
So with all of that flawed, internal mess that is Soldier Boy, the biggest challenge I find as a romance writer is trying to keep all of these aspects of his character, while trying to show the glimmers of the humanity in Ben -- the chink in his armor showing just enough softness to the one person who's brave enough to "try" with him.
That said, I hope all of this helps! 💚
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lgbtqiapnfreak · 2 months
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Why I think Byler is endgame
Before we start, you must know I'm really skeptical about theories and all. I like to read and have fun with them, but believe them? It's really hard for me as a 20 years old queer person. Since young I've suffered being queerbaited by mainstream series, Stranger Things wouldn't be the first nor the last to do that.
I know today things are a little bit better, but for the sake of my poor broken heart, I'm always expecting a deception. Yet, I can see byler happening in season 5.
Here we go to the reasons why.
The existence of Robin
I've heard a lot of straight people say, before season 4 and even now, that "Will can't be gay because Robin is the gay person in the show. There is no reason for another one".
Like? The show can have 38272 straight, developed and important for the plot characters, all of them with love interests and happy endings, and one gay character inserted as a comic relief is fine. Two? To much to deal with.
I know, I know, disgusting. BUT what if I say that Robin was not a character added to the show only for a comic relief or identity representation at all? That she was presented for the watchers to consider the existence of a gay character in the show. For them to recognize some queer coded things that, without Robin, they wouldn't be able to?
Robin was presented to us in Season 3. As we must know, the third season of the show is mainly dedicated to character and relationships development. Thanks to it, we got to see the characters way more cylindrically, their fears, mistakes, who they are in their normal daily life. Mike, El, Hopper, Joyce, Erica and Steve gained many new layers in this season, but Will had the most special one: the first explicit hint of his sexuality.
And then, Robin appears. At first we are conditioned to think she likes Steve, the Duffers play a game with the watchers' heteronormativity using the dubiousness of their dialogs. And then, boom! She is lesbian. Not only lesbian but repressedly in love with a girl - at least was - and jealous of Steve.
Thanks to this coming out scene
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The interpretation door was open to see this as Will being in love with a boy, repressing his feelings and being jealous of the girl the boy is dating with.
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Will's jealousy and feelings for Mike back then stamped the background of everything, it was being slowly built inside the show - but not inside the character, remember the Snow Ball script? It was always there, just unseen.
Until here we are only remarking that Will is gay. But what Robin has to do with byler as a ship?
Well, if she is the queer character created to open this door for Will, created to gain the sympathy of the general public as comic relief character who bonded with two of the most popular characters of the show - Dustin and Steve - since s3, showing the watchers the struggles of a queer person in the 80's in a "light" way and making the viewers to cheer for her love life, of course her character holds a big role with byler building a romantic relationship.
Robin appeared in Season 3 because the viewers wanted Milven to happen in season 2 - thanks to the heteronormativity and kids sexualization I may say - when it wasn't going to, it wasn't scripted like this and it's not going to be endgame. So Robin's creating a scape route for the writers.
The hints given about Will being called a f@g and Mike over protective and supportive behavior with Will were not enough to create this bridge between friends and lovers as we know very well.
Movie Date and Schrodinger Cat
Moving on. We know Will is gay. Okay. What is still uncertain in the show is Mike's sexuality and required feelings towards Will. Here, we are focusing in the required feelings part.
I read a lot of analysis about the "movie date scene". I remember people discussing the blushing frame and the holding hands theory even before s4 coming out and at the time it sounded like joke to me - as I said I'm really skeptical. Yet, after rewatch the part and reading a lot (especially @greenfiend 's one about the holding hands thing), I feel like I finally understood why the scene is so spoken of.
It's pretty simple, it's another open door. Not like Robin who is there to guide us to read between the lines but as something that is open to interpret and rely on when they finally get together. It was made for when people start to question "where did this relationship came from?" and create assumptions like "it came out of the nowhere".
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In the scene, Lucas, Max, Mike and Will go to Starcourt's movie theater to watch a horror movie together. When arguing about Mike's behavior, Lucas remarks that he is spending romantic time with his girlfriend by going there. When they are finally inside, lumax and byler sits separately, then things start to get really fishy.
The construction of the whole next part, when they are inside the movie theater, from the beginning of the movie to the black out and end of the scene, are basically hands. Hands everywhere. In the close ups, in the people around them and even in the movie. Why? For us to see it, to think of it, to imagine. To imagine what? It's up to you of course, but we know people hold hands at movie theaters, specially when watching a horror movie, and we also know byler is the main focus on that scene for some reason.
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But they didn't show us their hands, did them? No. Because of that, no one can really say they were holding hands, but the same can't be said about them not holding their hands. The construction of the scene deliberately leads us to question the possibility, however there is no true answer. Like the Schorodinger Cat, they are holding and not-holding their hands.
Also, the "are you okay?" Mike says, the camera play and Noah's acting leads us to think that, if they are holding their hands, it was Mike's initiative, not Will's.
The whole scene is purposefully dubious.
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Noah looks down at his hand at the end of the interaction, up again, and then smiles. It's there but they don't show us! At the same time, if it was an unromantic moment, they would've shown us they were holding hands as they did before, so why not? Why do they keep the whole thing subtle, calculated, and masked by the MF plot if not to hold a secret meaning behind it all. A secret meaning for us to discover yet.
Like pleaseee, I swear this is some kind of torture for us gay people.
Mike's character construction and Finn's acting
I'm a ST fan since the beginning. I was here when the major public liked Jonathan better than Steve, when Mike was the favorite member of the party, and Finn was treated as one of the best child actors of the show. Looking back, it's pretty obvious things changed a lot since the third season.
Why things changed? In the last two seasons, Finn was accused of being "out of the character" and "having a bad acting". And Mike turned into a douchebag in public eyes.
The truth is: the way the writers had chosen to show us Mike changed. He still is the same insecure, paranoic, loyal, compassionate character who is a jerk sometimes from the beginning, but we didn't get the chance to see his POV since s2.
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Mike is a character trapped in the expectations of the viewers. They expected him to date El, to love El as a girlfriend, to treat her the way she deserves - what he can do, but clearly not as a boyfriend. Their relationship wasn't scripted the way it happened, so his character needed to go through some changes to remain himself. And, of course, for mlvn to end, the viewers needed to hate his version with El. Again, it is a scape route.
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His character is still the same, but the way we see him is different. The truth is the viewers expected Mike to acts towards El the way he did with Will after they started dating: unconditionally supportive, trusting, and understanding, but guess what? This was never on Mike's character to begin with.
He doesn't understand, trust, or support people unconditionally. They are showing how much he is inflexible and selective in what he wants to believe since the very first episode, we can see that in the relationship with his family and friends. Just remember his fights with Lucas in s1, s2 and s4 and Dustin in s2 and s3, they are his CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, but even them don't have the pleasure of Mike's unconditionally support and trust. The only character he is truly open to is Will.
These changes were made for us to see the difference between Will and the rest of the world for Mike. In season 3, when he appears to be a jerk to everyone, no exception at all, the only person he seems to retract this behavior for is Will. In season 4, Mike fights El and Will, but again, the only one he seems to understand and retract from his defenses for is Will. Again, the only person he is really open with.
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Now, speaking about sexuality, the other reason for people to blame Finn's acting is the awkwardness in kissing and intimate scenes - like the first I love you he heard from his girlfriend.
I don't know about you, but for me, it is almost painful to watch them kissing. Not only kissing, the whole dating thing looks like a performance, and it's not a good one, if I may say. But here is the thing, it's on purpose! The same goes for the looks he gives Will's and Eddie's body.
Don't even think that every look, expression, or camera play is not calculated. These people spend so much money in the show for it to be half assed by bad acting or misinterpretation of the script.
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seirei-bh · 2 months
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Jason Mendal's facade. Deep analysis about him: his past, traumas, ideologies and subsequent development -Theories
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I'm going to try to do a deep analysis here about why Jason is the way he is and how he became the person he is now. At least the little info que got about him until ep 5. Before start to read, you have to keep in mind that although there is some canonical data here, there is also a lot of speculation on my part, so these theories may be refuted in future episodes.
I am going to talk here about all the possible reasons for how his behaviour is today, applied to his business, as well as to his relationships of rivalry, friendship and romance. About his ideas, mentality, his heart, and everything related to the little we know about his childhood, personality and way of behaving. It will be a long analysis with many points to discuss.
Backstory and possible traumas
To begin with, another theory about Jason that I have after ep 5 that I'm going to add to my huge list of theories about him (you can read them in some of my previous posts, like this one and others in my Jason's headcanons post) is that, regarding the big number of brief romantic partners he had, and why he doesn't want to have a long and stable romantic relationship with anyone, I think one of the reasons to that fear may also be related to the death of his father and with his own actual “perfect” life in general.
First, I mean the fact that his father died when he was a teenager has made me think that perhaps Jason's emotional situation could be similar to Anthony from Bridgerton series, who after losing his father and seeing how much his mother suffered from that loss, that created a trauma that made him never want to fall in love for fear of losing someone else whom he loves again and suffering for it.
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Perhaps his mother had depression after the death of her husband, maybe because of this she neglected her son or even lost her job, so they even had financial problems, and Jason having to deal with tons of responsibilities since he was too young. That also made Jason become a person more focused on getting money and power at any price and as quickly as possible.
We do not know how his father died, it is most likely that it was due to a car accident or some serious illness. About Jason and his mother, I wonder if maybe they never got along, or if their relationship deteriorated after his father died. But regardless of that, the death of one of your parents in your teenage years is something that can affect you greatly. This makes me think about what kind of situation Jason would live in high school, I’ve the feeling that he wasn't very popular, or at least not at first, and that he was one of those people who go from being one of those who suffered bullying to those who end up bullying others as a wrong way to show that he could be stronger and thus create some popularity with which he would stop feeling alone and unprotected. I bet his "charming personality" started to come through here, and the death of his father had a lot to do with it. Being a person who did everything possible to try to fit in, even if he had to destroy others to do so.
I also wrote a long time ago in another post that it is possible that other children made fun of Jason at school for having white locks, and that he perhaps dyed his hair all brown for a long time, and that perhaps his poliosis was also a consequence of Waardenburg syndrome, which can have other consequences. Which would only add more insecurities to that little Jason and cause him to accumulate more resentment.
He saw all those popular boys at high school who were very confident guys, seemingly charming (even though they were really jerks), rich, dating with all the pretty girlfriends they want, and who had everything going well in their lives, while him, being a good and nerdy boy couldn't achieve anything and who felt more vulnerable than ever after losing his father, so he told himself that to succeed and be stronger that was the law of the jungle that prevailed and that he had to be not only like them, but better, imitating them and also later going further than them in life, whatever was the price to pay. Succeeding the unpleasant way.
To add here something more: Chinomiko said originally when New Gen was still in the previous High School ideas, Jason was a character like a “stupid comical villain”, so at least we can imagine he ended been being a jerk in his teenage years for sure. Probably the typical pathetic bully who likes to bother others, but since his character had the best glow up I also guess that now he's more complex than before too.
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And all this will also manifest itself in being obsessed with the ideal of perfection and in projecting an image of himself of absolute self-confidence. Which would also make him start faking a perfect image not only at high school, later at work, but among his “friends” and with his romantic partners, so it would be exhausting for him and would end getting bored of them and don’t make him feel happy. But by the other hand, he’s afraid that a woman could find out his true self and be disappointed, so he prefers to hide his insecurity and prevent them from seeing them, ending the relationship as soon as possible.
It could also be possible that Jason's father, before he died, was a very humble and good man who had high expectations for his son and convinced him that he had to reach very high levels professionally, either because he positively supported this and had great dreams and hopes for the future of his son so he could have the better chances in life he couldn't achieve, maybe even his father was the one who had the dream about “Goldreamz” and had the desire to start his own company one day, OR on the contrary, because he was a cold man who put a lot of pressure on him to achieve excellence, because he had no expectation that his son couldn’t achieve anything like him (I think it's more probably the first option than this second one because the second one is too similar to Nathaniel's father, but who knows). Both which also led Jason to want to achieve a high professional goal, either so that his father could have been proud of him and make their dream come true, or because he wanted to show him that he could be better than the low expectations that his father had.
Someone may think that Jason getting "daddy issues" and most of his problems being caused because of this is very cliche or simple, but we have seen that before with other Mcl characters, whether due to negligence and parental abuse (Nathaniel's parents), due to little attention and abandonment (Castiel's parents, Nina's father) or due to the death of their parents or one of the parental figures (Lysander, Armin and Alexy's biological parents, or Violette's mother), so I think it wouldn't be so strange for Jason to have a trauma related to that and that a lot of things that he try to goal in his life were in some way related to that, same about why he has that behaviour in his relationships.
Another thing: Jason mentions in ep 5 that his parents were not millionaires, and his birthday was rather modest. He is quite dry and serious when mentioning this, which makes me think that it is a detail of his life that he doesn’t like to talk about, since he may consider it a weakness. And it doesn't surprise me, since Jason couldn't set up the company alone, he needed the help of various private investors to whom he now owes money and favors. Also in his description he says that he likes expensive brand clothes and numbers (I guess this refers to money, not maths XD) So the fact of appearing to be a man with a lot of money is something that probably has him obsessed, and that it has cost him a lot of sacrifice to achieve, and he may also have still debts to those investors, but he does his best to pretend that everything in life is going very very well. He won’t want his rivals, his companions, or any flirt to find out that there are things in his life that are either not going so well or have not gone well in the past. (I’m not saying he’s broke, but I mean he’s not so rich as Amanda, despite of he tries to do his best to look like that, especially because all his company investors are probably rich men of very high category, high social standards you know), basically about this Jason is a bit like Jordan in The wolf of wall street movie, in the sense of someone who started very low in the social scale and ended up climbing to the top, according to him with clean methods, but who knows if he or any of his investors actually have any illegal secrets about his finances, and I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case and Jason purposely ignored this, since he himself said in ep 5 that he didn't know how some of his workers did their jobs and that he "wasn't interested in knowing it." He said this about Danica, but I think it really implies that he applies it to everyone who works with him and for him.
His business ideology:
There is a saying in Spanish that is quite famous in the world in marketing and great finances and that can be applied perfectly to Jason to explain and summarize his behaviour in business and his way to see the life: it is said that in business you need to have a "mentalidad de tiburón" (literally have a mind like a shark), this refers to a white shark, if it doesn't move it sinks, and means this is the mentality that an ambitious man of business must follow in order not to sink and continue continuing with his goals and dreams, the mentality of a person whose main motivation is money, who does not mind jumping the limits of ethics and morality in order to achieve it.
The equivalent in English here is “wolf-like mentality”, it’s similar to what I’ve explain, but includes too the saying of “divide and conquer” and to clarify this even more to understand Jason’s character, here I add all the main points it includes, something that can perfectly fix in Jason’s character to understand him better, a very Maquiavelo-like:
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This can also apply to his personal relationships (romantic ones included), this way of thinking can explain it very well too what could be other of the reasons why he feels he cannot have a long romantic relationship: because his business are the first, and also can explain why perhaps he lost the interest in women very quick, because he’s mostly focused in the mentality of immediate results and thinks maybe the other choice is a lost of time + the fear for the previous trauma about the attacked and losing someone I’ve mentioned before.
And about wolf mentality and his rivalry and work…
Now let’s talk about the matter of his rivalry with Devon.
Maybe the answer is just a simple as: Jason was just frustrated for not be able to achieve his dreams for all the stuff I’ve been wrote before, which led him to steal the project from Devon (whether it was stealing it by himself acting alone and by himself in a desperate act or because some third person manipulated and convinced him to do it), but even if those were the main reasons, I still think there's something more here we still don’t know. Something more that happened between them before or during the town hall project thing, something more personal and complex than what we've been told, or at least that there's something more here that Devon doesn't know.
Maybe could be also for envy too. Devon was a good person and didn't have to pretend to be perfect to achieve his dreams like Jason did to have friends or a romantic partner and Devon seems to had a loving and stable family, maybe they meet each other since they were teenagers, but we still have no confirmation about this, so maybe I’m wrong, the only thing we know for sure is that at least they didn’t meet each other since childhood, since Chinomiko said it on Instagram long ago. But still this doesn’t feel enough (to me at least) to explain Jason’s behaviour.
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For now, I also keep other of my old theories about there is possible a third person involved in all this problem. We’ll see what’s the real answer to this question.
Although here I want to add one more point, and that is that Devon and Devenementiel curiously represent the exact opposite of Jason and Goldreamz in the business approach, the called “sheep mentality”, and these are the differences between them:
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Ironically, today in the competitiveness of modernity in business, it's considered that in reality the best entrepreneurs are neither one nor the other, but a mix between both types of mentality. Does this mean that there will be a time in the future when both companies find themselves in a delicate situation and decide to collaborate in order to mutually triumph against a greater enemy (Ioann and his company, f*ck Ysa's ex boyfriend, I hope we can punch him, that Ioann is gonna be the new Debrah and main villain mark my words) by overcoming their differences? Well, only time will tell...
Now, about Ysaline-Jason:
There is the small detail that Ysaline comes from a rich family, or at least her mother became rich and famous in her work in recent years, and thanks to that Ysaline was able to do private and expensive studies abroad (and Jason clearly knows this, he's an stalker who got her number and email easily XD and other characters like Thomas and Amanda knew Ysaline's mother was rich too just searching some info about her on internet). And that may also cause some insecurity in Jason, fearing that perhaps Ysaline may be disappointed if she finds out that he's not as perfect as he seems or at least that he was not at all in his past. Maybe he even had an ex girlfriend who, after she found out that, felt disappointed about him and left him, and that made him more superficial and cautious with her subsequent love conquests, or maybe since he only get romances once he started to put on his popular guy facade and succeed, he thinks he needs to impress and seduces her in the same way he did it with other women, because he thinks she will only be seduced by him by superficial stuff like his charms, attractive, money and work. Until Ysaline shows him what she wants is really get to know him, with all his weakness, in heart, mind and body, and until he realizes he really wants to know her better just because he loves to spend time with her and she makes him happy, and we know that will happen.
I've read some theories from different people and social webs that some think that Jason wants to use Ysa's family's money to invest in his own company, but I think his intentions are not in that way, but rather:
I think also one of the reasons why he agreed to help in ep 5 her was not only to seduce her or to show her Goldreamz so that she would want to work there with him, but also because Jason is able to see her potential, since a person with her studies, her family money, all the important contacts her mother has, and with the previous experience of having worked in a big important company and who has also shown him face to face that she has a competitive and brave side, she can undoubtedly go very far, and obviously he wants her to go far having her by his side, but of course he will also have a conflict here since I don't think he is the type of person who is comfortable mixing love with business, not like Ioann, the hell with that shitty man.
Obviously he also wants to manipulate her or at least bother Devenementiel somehow with all this. The little we have seen of Danica in ep 5 is that she is someone very efficient and fast at her job, Jason saw that and brought her to his side, now Jason sees that although Ysaline has failed in one of her projects, she still has potential to become a great event organizer. He also wanted to closely observe how she works when she is motivated and has someone guide her in the right path, when she is herself, and maybe even Jason sees in her the person he was before he achieved excellence. And Ysaline has ambition, she herself told Devon in one of the previous eps (if you follow Devon's route) that she dreamed of one day becoming a big star in the world of events and had the goal of being one of the best at her job. Even in one of the dialogues you can get in ep 2, Jason asks Ysaline "Aren't you willing to do anything to achieve success?" Jason knows that they are both similar in that way, and he wants to take advantage of that.
However Ysaline not only has ambition and a competitive will, but also a certain level of morality and feeling of unity with her co-workers, boss and her family and friends. And although it is still early to assume this, it's quite possible that she is the character that represents the perfect mix between the two business ideologies, both the wolf and the sheep. I'll call that fussion "the kitten mentality" because I can.
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Of course, returning to the relationships issue, one thing to try his best to seduce her and make her work for him or at least have her as an ally and briefly as lover, and something very different is what we know will happen: that he will fall in love with her and both will want more, but he will feel that he cannot and shouldn't go further.
So we have here all this matter about his fake perfect facade of rich, charming and popular man of business + his humble origins + wolf-like mentality + his trauma about the losing of his father and more people in the future. A perfect cocktail to be afraid to have a stable relationship.
Greetings to all Jason fans like me who have him as a route and loves to suffer. In this house we love traumatized fictional men with red flags.
And let's add of course there will probably be many more problems that will make him fear having a relationship with Ysaline once he falls in love with her, because problems already numbered in more than 2000 words weren't enough first because he will try to convince himself that he only wants to manipulate her so that she change sides and join to Goldreamz, and to seduce her so that she'd end up in his bed (and she maybe would believe that too), but then when he finds out he's in love with her, and she with him, Jason will have to make the decision about whether to go ahead with his revenge against Devenementiel or not, because he knows that will end up hurting her, since she could suffer if her colleagues and boss find out about her relationship with him and distrust her or if that even ruins her reputation, which is was already bad in her previous company because she slept with her previous boss, and above all because she will never forgive him and will hate him if the Devenementiel closes and all his friends and her loses their jobs because of Jason's actions. And having a relationship with him makes her feels more guilty for what happened, like believing she was part of his plans and she helped him in some way, and then she could believe she was nothing except another more of his conquers and everything was a lie (her ex-boyfriend trauma attacking again here), or at least she wasn't as important to him as she thought.
And perhaps, even if he tries to stop those actions, and not harm Devenementiel further so as not to make her harm her, perhaps, by then, it will be too late to stop those revenge plans...
So he will lose another person that he loves and wants in his life. The only person who accepted him and loved him exactly who he really is and who really knows him. His biggest fears making true, again.
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but this is an otome game, guys, everything will be solved at the end and everybody will be happy, don't worry!
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etoilesombre · 2 months
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You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)
-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "
-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "
-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"
I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.
Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!
But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.
Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?
Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!
Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.
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almightygremlinblob · 4 months
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Gojo Satoru HCs - Canon & Fanon!
⚠️CONTENT WARNINGS:⚠️ None, for the first part. Under the cut is when stuff gets weird. So minors and those uncomfy with anything remotely sexual don't click the "Keep Reading/Read More"! Will put another warning, tho. Just in case.
This is for my fellow Gojo girlies, platonic and romantic, because WOOOW 261 MAN. Sukuna's up next and then I'll probably dip again lmao. 💅🏽✨
Word Count: 855
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Gojo Satoru HCs - Canon Gojo
A mix of HCs and character analysis, if Imma be honest.
1.) His arrogance is an act - both to himself and to others; although a part of him IS actually crazy. He grew up a spoiled rich kid, yes, but the weight of what he represented in the Jujutsu world has been ingrained in him since…well, he could conceptualize things. He is the strongest, and as such he is responsible for the world's safety (at least against curses) - it is in danger if he isn't. He's the strongest because he also HAS to be. 2.) Is definitely a boy dad to his students - guy OR girl. Though, like Nanami, he does try to make sure his female students feel comfortable around him; he's just more obnoxious about it. Not condescending...just obnoxious. Calls out and makes fun of the male students that make the girls uncomfortable, gives them more breaks if they specify that it's their time of them month and they need it, calls them a cab he can monitor to get them home safe (though he does this for all of his students, to be fair), or other stuff along the likes of that. 3.) Bisexual and Demiromantic, but his first and currently only love was Geto. 4.) Is apathetic to the weak because thinking about them would only weigh him down. Moreso than Suguru's betrayal, I think the deaths of his friends - who were arguably the weaker ones - really solidified in his mind just how important it was to be the strongest because it was so personal to him. The more he cares about the weak, the more he thinks about that instead of BEING it - it's an unnecessary weight. He only needs to focus on being the strongest, and then he can be there for the weak if they need him. 5.) HOWEVER, Geto's betrayal and Nanami's initial quitting only further served to isolate him, to prove to him that strength = loneliness. This is probably where his dream of creating more sorcerers equal to him in strength came from. Guy knows how lonely it is at the top, and doesn't want that for anyone else.
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Gojo Satoru HCs - Fanon Gojo x Reader
These can be read as either platonic or romantic. Reader's gender and sex isn't specified.
1.) Teacher has a faaaavoriiiittee…(if romantic then favorite other teacher, random person, sorcerer, NOT student)… 2.) Despite how bold he often is, Gojo shows that he cares and looks out for you in very subtle ways - whether that be gently convincing you to take a break when you clearly need it, standing in between you and the road, giving you his umbrella when it's raining (he doesn't need it - he kept it for you in case you ever did), carrying extra meds you may need on hand, or even just getting you a snack, coffee or tea when you need a pick me up. 3.) Congratulations, you now have access to a luxurious mansion(s)! Gives you the keys to one of his many estates. Come and go as you please. 4.) If anybody makes you upset, he won't do anything drastic per se but…he WILL embarass them, somehow - though he often disguises it as a harsh joke at the expense of the other. 5.) Grew up as a weapon, basically, and when he finds someone that actually treats him like a person - he sticks to them like glue, without even realizing it.
Alright you know the drill. Minors and anyone uncomfy with anything remotely sexual DNI, and just scroll past. Don't click the "KEEP READING" if you don't wanna see all the sex-y stuff, and just go on with your day, furendo!
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Fanon Gojo - Romantic
⚠️Further Content Warnings!⚠️
Honestly, not much LMAO - I'll save that for the actual fic in, like, 10 years from now. Mostly Gojo fluff, some mentioned sexual activities, and Sub!Gojo.
1.) Inexperienced with women. As much as I love the fanon interpretation of Gojo, he has probably never once touched a woman in his life, even if he and Geto were popular during their younger years. Guys though? Yeah you guessed it - he and Geto had each OTHER. 2.) Adding on to the point above, this guy is LOOYAAAAL when he finds someone that he truly loves. Just look at him and Geto. He has YET to move on after Geto 💔 3.) A golden retriever boyfriend. AND shares his sweets with you but he has to feed them to you. He HAS to. 4.) Guy is a needy, WHINY sub in bed. Loves to please and can stay seated in between your legs for HOURS as long as you praise him. Loud AF too and is absolutely shameless about it - it ruins everyone's day (except for you and him). Loves the wear the marks you leave on him like a crown and it's awkward for EVERYONE. 5.) Because he has so many responsibilities, and the Jujutsu world won't give him a break, you guys don't actually spend much time together - even moreso if you're a sorcerer, too. Expect missing anniversaries, cancelled plans, mismatched schedules, even nights without each other. Despite this, Gojo does try for you, he really does. He calls and texts whenever he can, sees you the moment his schedule allows, and brings home something for you every time.
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I LITERALLY CAN'T WITH THE LEAKS PLEASE JUST TAKE THIS
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literallyjusttoa · 26 days
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Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!
But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)
And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.
Ok now for big Project Time!!!
I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.
I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:
BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.
Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)
Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)
Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)
Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.
And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.
Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)
Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation
the ability to request topics for videos
Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)
This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.
Discounts on commissions
A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.
All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh
Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?
If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3
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penncilkid · 6 months
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Hey there, Redacted Fic Community! Wanna help me with a final project?
Short Version: I'm looking for Redacted fics to read and rate/discuss/analyze as part of my final project for a queer-centered class of mine (specifically mlm pairings and such).
Extended Version: My final is basically going to be me analyzing the way in which masculine queerness is conveyed within fandom via fanfiction. To do so, I need fic recommendations! Because it's focused on masculinity and how that intersects with queerness, I'm looking primarily for mlm pairings. However, polyam pairings are welcome as are pairings featuring listeners, provided: A) there are two speakers involved and/or B) the listener is specifically indicated to be masc. I'll be coming up with my rating/analysis via something similar to a "Get To Know My Ship" template as well as a Redacted Fic Bingo Card created by me.
Note: This will all be in good fun and any analysis I make in regards to a fic will be kept private unless requested directly. I don't fuck with the idea of unsolicited critical feedback, and I'm not about to switch up now.
That said, this is me formally asking for recommendations! They can:
Be submitted by the author or by a reader (We love self-promo here)
Be explicitly rated / NSFW (SFW is also welcome and encouraged)
Feature Polyam Pairings / Speaker Headcanons / Listener OCs (Preferably masc. unless paired with two or more speakers)
Be sent in via reblog, comment, ask, or dm to me
Be non-canon (Including AUs)
Be any length! (One of my all-time fav fics is less than 1K words, I'll eat it up regardless)
Depending on the number of recommendations I get, I won't be able to use every fic. But I would love to see them regardless because there are so many talented writers in this community and I wanna show them some love!
Thanks again to anyone who helps me out with this project!
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lurkingshan · 9 months
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Favorite BL Tumblr Shticks: 2023 Edition
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Whenever I start thinking about end of year round ups, I get overwhelmed with how many awesome people are on here making my days so delightful, and how I could never capture them all in one solitary list. So I thought this year, instead of listing all my favorite blogs/people (which would be a ridiculously long list that would almost certainly break tumblr), I would instead share some of my favorite shticks that I came to rely on from fandom besties. 
Some of us (me) just post kind of randomly and inconsistently about shows. Will you get a pithy one liner, a photo essay, or a thesis from me on any given week of a show’s discourse? Who can say (certainly not me). But some of y’all decided you were going to claim the mantle for a specific type of analysis or creativity on here and delivered consistently, and I just think that’s really fucking cool.
And so, the time has come to pay respect to some of my favorite bl fandom blogs who commit to the bit (with our patron saint of finding your niche, Tankhun, looking on approvingly). Note: if you are reading this and NOT following any of the fine folks listed below, you really should correct that. Onto the squad!
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@bengiyo stray thoughts
@blmpff favorite shots
@colourme-feral location spotting 
@dribs-and-drabbles Thai communal wardrobe
@gabrielokun throwback gifs
@my-rose-tinted-glasses mission posts
@ranchthoughts kissing multiverse
@respectthepetty color analysis
@sparklyeyedhimbo live blogs
@troubled-mind manga comparison sets
@waitmyturtles OGGMMTVC
@wanderlust-in-my-soul bl tropes collection
@wen-kexing-apologist long ass gay analysis
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Special category shoutout also to the squad, in addition to a few folks above, keeping Bad Buddy meta alive and well nearly two years after the show aired: @chickenstrangers @dimplesandfierceeyes @dudeyuri @grapejuicegay @miscellar @starryalpacasstuff @telomeke-bbs. Watching Our Skyy 2 with y'all was some of the most fun I had on here this year. And to @chicademartinica and @negrowhat whose crack combination of comedy and lust make me laugh on this website just about every day.
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And I must end with an extra special shoutout to my La Pluie meta squad. I created the meta round up for La Pluie specifically because its brilliance was being overlooked and/or misunderstood, and I really wanted to encourage the folks who got what the show was doing to write more about it in the hopes of bringing more of the bl audience along. A very successful Shan Scheme, if I do say so myself. I'm so glad @bengiyo and I decided to give ourselves brain rot over that show and got to know you all better as a result @ginnymoonbeam @neuroticbookworm @slayerkitty @solitaryandwandering @sunshinechay @syrena-del-mar @wen-kexing-apologist.
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angelsdean · 8 months
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a lot of issues in the fandom stem from the fact that there are various different types of fans and viewers here. and we're all lumped together into this space and we cross paths but many of us are not doing the same things or engaging with the show and characters in the same way.
you have the people who do serious meta and analysis, who delve into canon and do frequent rewatches and are really familiar with the source material. then you have your more casual viewers, people who haven't rewatched much and their recollection is hazy. they forget details, fill things in with fanon. then there's the spn fandom-fandom people, people who aren't all that interested in the show, maybe haven't even seen it, they're just here for the fandom. maybe they read fics, but most of their knowledge of the characters comes secondhand. then there's people who don't even really LIKE the show (some of them are fandom-fandom people), who are just here for shitposts. some flavors of these fans also come with weird parasocial actor-hate that then bleeds into their perceptions of the characters. and of course then you have the different x-girl factions, the rabid deancrits who can't stand that most of the general audience and fans love dean. all these people, all in one place, all making posts abt the same show but coming from wildly different ways of experiencing the show and these characters.
so then you end up with people in headcanon land coming onto posts from the analyzing-canon people and arguing abt stuff that is Real To Them bc they're experiencing the show in a different way, maybe not even watching it. and they feel righteous that their headcanon / interpretation is correct, but the canon analysis people are gonna go "wtf is this nonsense? that never happened! those claims are unsupported. i'm not incorporating this headcanon into my beliefs about this character." and headcanon people get mad bc they're so married to this idea of the character they've created in their minds. and then we all go round and round arguing abt it.
like, people need to accept that their headcanon may not be shared by others. your interpretation is not my interpretation, especially if you made it up! i'm under no obligation to believe that.
people can play in their sandbox forever, headcanon what they like, but there's a real problem with some people going onto other people's posts / inboxes (usually when someone is discussing canon) to argue their headcanon, often in a negative way. and then these same people get mad when the person they went to with their argument responds negatively. and then there are some people who take things too far, who send threats and harassment to others for simply having a different opinion abt fictional characters. that's not a normal response to have. yet somehow it's the people responding to the hate / negativity they get that are called "bullies."
anyways, people need to accept that others are not living in their head, sharing their headcanons and we're all experiencing this show differently. some posts aren't for everyone. sometimes you can just scroll away when you disagree with something instead of making an addition or being negative abt the post in the tags. we're all here to have fun, at the end of the day.
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essycogany · 1 year
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Why I Ship Sonic The Hedgehog and Amy Rose?
Hi! I’ve been a Sonic fan since 2022 and wanted to give insight on a beloved pairing from someone who’s only FRESH in this fandom. So I could give a somewhat recent perspective on something others might’ve grown up with.
Disclaimer: This is just my merriment of cartoon madness. Done for fun. It has my everywhere all at once speculations, and opinions. Spat into one big MESS. No problem if you disagree. I wish you all the best in whatever you create with your preferred take on these characters.
I take 0 credit for anything displayed in visuals.
Now, let’s get started!
Reason 1: What Got Me Into Sonamy
I want to recommend people who not only helped me understand the dynamic better, but did so while giving good insight on Amy’s character. Which is one of the most inconsistent in the ENTIRE franchise. Here they are! In no particular order.
Why Amy is a “Strong Female Character” [Sonic The Hedgehog Video Essay]
Channel: Taro Marshmallow on YouTube.
She helped me understand Amy’s character as a whole. I believe it’s important for people to comprehend Amy’s character in order for them to understand or like Sonamy. No one has to, but it sure was eye-opening for me. So, do of it what you will. I advise people to give it a watch for the AMAZING character analysis alone.
Molinaskies: On Tumblr, this person goes into serious analysis on Sonic’s emotional characterization, and Sonamy too. Words can’t describe how much I appreciate this ship the more I read about their dynamic from someone I can tell has fun doing it.
Sherrydoodlez: This person is the reason I became a Sonic and Sonamy fan at the same time. Once I saw her videos, I was HOOKED. She makes cute, fun, and outstanding Sonamy content on her YouTube channel. It’s mostly Boom!Sonamy animations with voice actors on some occasions. She makes other random Sonic animations as well. It’s a feel good channel you can watch to calm yourself as you head into a romantic cafe of servings you never knew you needed. Give her content a watch. It’s a jolly ride.
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IDW (Specifically Issue #2 Page 21): I believe this is the statement which changed Sonic’s view about Amy. At the beginning, the blue blur was still on the run when Amy came around. But after fighting robots together and helping the villagers, Sonic admitted having fun. It could mean he grew more comfortable. Or just loves to fight robots regardless of who’s joining him.
Afterwards, Amy realized their negotiation about Sonic coming back to the resistance was a loss. She happily accepted it and accepted Sonic for who he is. Which made the feelings mutual on Sonic’s part in my opinion. He was even bashful while offering her to join him. Showing he didn’t mind having Amy around a bit longer. I know someone else stated this better, but I hope you get the point.
Sonamy is also the one ship that gets the most hints and jokes. From official writers, voice actors, (ESPECIALLY in Japan. Sonic and Amy’s VAs literally sung a love song IN CHARACTER for crying out loud.) X, Boom, Prime, artist, some of the games, and Sega themselves with their marketing.
Fact check me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure in Japan, Amy’s been called Sonic’s “Girlfriend,” plenty of times and some even theorize they're already together in the Japanese version of Sonic Frontiers.
(Which I’m positive is very intentional)
Can’t forget the creator of the characters Naoto Oshima stated on twitter, “Sonic has the eternal heart of a boy, but were he to one day mature, he’d choose Amy.” I believe if any ship in this franchise at least makes the most since, it’s Sonamy. I’m only scratching the surface, but we’d be here forever if I continued.
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Reason 2: The Dynamic
I believe Sonamy works romantically and platonically. Sonic and Amy are best friends so their bond is already close in that regard. I think in times of peace they hang out. Which has been shown in IDW in the retail incentive covers of issue 1, 5th Anniversary.
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The reason I think Amy’s the best choice for Sonic is because she can always keep up with him. She understands him and reads him like a book.
(Sonic doesn’t express himself very well, so that’d be a huge benefit.)
She brings an array of emotion out of him, and accepts him for who he is.
Amy wouldn’t slow him down because they’re relationship wouldn’t change at all. She’s always just as down for going out and exploring as he is. Being a hot-head, she’s not adverse for a bit of head busting with her hammer. Amy allows Sonic for a chance at a relationship he couldn’t get inattentive or tired in.
They’d go on their usual adventurers and might only tell a few friends about their relationship.
(Or keep it a secret)
After that, they’d travel together or Amy would leave Sonic to whatever he needed to do. In Sonic’s case, he would appreciate Amy’s understanding and return the favor by giving her flowers. Maybe even show minimal affection.
Like in Sonic X when he gives Amy a rose in episode 52. X also had moments where Sonic constantly protects/holds onto her. Not to mention willingly laid on a pile of hey next to Amy. And kept the bracelet she made him in episode 9.
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Sonic X isn’t canon, but IDW has moments of Sonic hanging out or fighting alongside Amy too. Point is, the couple would be an updated version of their friendship. A “POWER COUPLE,” to be specific.
Romance doesn’t always mean you have to be lovey-dovey. You can treat your partner like a best friend as well. Sonic and Amy have a unique relationship because they’re subtle about it.
Reason 3: Why?
I believe it’s important to get this out of the way since these are my weird BIGGIES when it comes to shipping. Why Sonic might have a crush on Amy and why Amy loves Sonic?
Sonic’s (Alleged) Reasons: Amy doesn’t want to change him. She can keep up with him. She’s super compassionate and energetic.
(Sonic stated she was “sweet’ before.)
He respects and might even values her ways of thinking. In TMOSTH, he said:
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In Prime he admits she’s, “Pretty great.”
And, he said in IDW Issue #58:
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These can be seen as platonic compliments, but it’s the “Accepting Sonic for who he is” thing that homes in the mutual romantic feelings head-canon.
I’d even argue ever since Unleashed/Black Night he had a little crush on her, but felt unsure of it. That is, until IDW. He might still have no clue what to do next.
Sonic lines in Frontiers : “Amy, I should’ve made up my mind sooner.” and “Wish we were sharing an umbrella, Amy.” are huge examples of that and his reciprocated feelings.
Fun Fact: Sharing an umbrella as a couple in Japan is considered a romantic expression, and teens often draw an umbrella with their name and the name of their crush, the way one would in a heart. A very old tradition.
Sharing an umbrella has been seen as a romantic thing in a few American movies as well.
Here’s another detail I find hilarious. I LOVE in instances like Amy being, “The Lady Of The Lake” in Black Night. The time she ran away from Sonic in Unleashed, and became split versions of herself in Prime. The blue buffoon acts as if he grew more fond and I’d even suggest “attracted” to her. He either flirts with her or gets disappointed. To me, it’s a check on the, “Bringing a wide range of emotion out of him,” point.
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In issue #2 of IDW it’s similar. Sonic asked Amy to join him. Then she admits being away from the resistance for too long. I’d say it’s a weirdly consistent thing. The times Sonic acts ready to “open up,” he and Amy end up having to save the world and go off to do their own thing.
(That panel in The Metal Virus with Sonic reaching to Amy while she’s freaking out, still hurts.)
Is this a sign they may need to take their time? Fortunately, we have additional content with them interacting outside those situations. I guess the hedgies are allowing each other to be their own person before committing to anything.
Like a “when they know, they’ll know,” situation.
Last thing. Sonic hugs Amy in both IDW and Frontiers. Never happened in official canon before, so his feelings must’ve changed into something.
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Amy’s Reasons: He’s her inspiration and motive for loving adventures. Sonic gives Amy an excuse to show off her skills. And she admires his personality.
By the way, can we just appreciate how Amy loves Sonic for the right reasons? Not looks, popularity, or fortune. He always and forever will be her number one.
Reason 4: Conclusion
This isn’t everything, but I’m sure new content will give me new reasons to love this pair. I just wanted to take MOST of what’s already established and use it for a basic understanding.
As basic as overwhelmingly extra can be.
I don’t know whether or not Sonamy will be canon and that’s fine. To me, it’s semi cannon already and there’s a bunch of talented people who create Sonamy stories.
In actual media, their relationships grows stronger and stronger. Which I’ll dub, “Untouched reciprocation,” which is common in videos game ships.
I see Amy and Sonic as best friends with crushes on each other and find that very fascinating. The hedgehogs can just be.
Though on twitter in February 2023, someone asked about Sonic and Amy’s relationship. Then Mario Kishimoto (The director of Sonic Frontiers ) answered, “Sonic is single. But what about a lover? What about Amy? I’m also looking forward to seeing what kind of love Sonic will have in the future.”
Doesn’t prove much, but it could mean Sonic Team is interested in developing this relationship more. Whatever that indicates, I’m intrigued.
All in all this is why I love Sonamy. Hope you enjoyed my over analyzed essay
Stay Creative! 💙💖
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jon-withnoh · 6 months
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Give me the hot Elisabeth and Rebecca takes!
Sure thing! (Oh boy this turned out long.)
Elisabeth disclaimer: this is purely based on vibes. I have some knowledge of the historical background, but it’s not really my field of study.
Rebecca disclaimer: this is my field of study and I have very strong opinions on it, though I do not claim that I am always correct. I do however maintain that I could back up many of my claims if I had the time to do proper textual analysis and read secondary sources.
I genuinely think Elisabeth (the musical as it was written) is a masterpiece. The framing device, the way certain melodies mirror each other to foreshadow events or indicate character development — it’s amazing! Plus, the music is ridiculously good. 100/10. I love this musical.
Most stagings/recordings of Elisabeth since 2012 though? More than questionable. Levay/Kunze musicals in general appear to be following a pattern where the original production and a maybe one or two productions after it are full of nuance and complexity, only to have that complexity broken down and reduced over time. That is no fault of the musical itself, but a worrying trend of not trusting audience to be able to handle nuance and trying to make every element of a production more palatable and easier to handle. I hate it. Both the 1992 and the 2005 Wien productions have so much to recommend them (I can’t speak for the German productions but would humbly turn over the questions to more Elisabeth-versed mutuals like @fitzrove), but it all seems to be going downhill.
HOT TAKE: I think bringing on more and more “Broadway-sounding” performers to do both Elisabeth and Rebecca is a mistake. For me, Levay/Kunze shows have a very specific sound to them, a sound that fits into European musical theatre and makes sense for when and where they were created. Hiring almost exclusively people with a way more modern, belt-y sound is not a direction I personally like for these shows. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about any specific performers, it’s about trying to change the sound of these shows into something more akin to a big Broadway musical and that really doesn’t work for me. Both Elisabeth and Rebecca are so idiosyncratic in how they sound and how they’re written, trying to make them fit into a mould they don’t belong in does them a disservice. (Looking at you, VBW.)
Maybe not a hot take: but I love the 2005 Wien production of Elisabeth so much. It was my first exposure to the musical and remains my go-to cast album. It certainly has faults and I totally understand why people might gravitate towards different productions, but since I haven’t listened to the full 1992 Wien and 2001 Essen (?) productions yet, I can only compare it to 2012.
REBECCA HOT TAKE: Michael Kunze has stated that he views Rebecca as first and foremost a love story and I think he is WRONG. Daphne du Maurier herself would probably think he was wrong (seeing as she hated the story being described as a romance). This is a core problem with Rebecca das Musical. There are many things to love (Danny, Danny, Beatrice, and did I mention Danny?), but in my opinion, the whole “this is a great love story” angle does it a huge disservice. Let’s make it weirder! Let’s make it as bleak as it fucking is! (Probably not a crowd pleaser but let me have my fun).
Rebecca the musical could have done with some serious editing.
The Magdeburg production of Rebecca, which I am aware was not very accessible to a lot of people, might be one of the best productions of Rebecca ever. Kerstin Ibald absolutely knocked it out of the park with her Mrs Danvers and gave her all the nuance and emotion we so desperately crave. Her Danny is so broken, so lost. Patrick Stanke’s Maxim strikes the perfect balance between the haughty upperclass Englishman who takes kind of a fatherly tone with his young wive, and the haunted, jealous husband who absolutely did murder his first wife. Also in this production Maxim and Ich finally have some chemistry! This production’s Ich (Sibylle Lambrecht, I think) has such a great character arc and it is completely believable that she is into Maxim, even (or especially??) after his confession. Plus, the set design was amazing!!!
More Rebecca hot takes that I’ve definitely brought up before: I know we all like to write Ich as a repressed queer woman who ends up not being all that into Maxim, but honestly, she probably is very attracted to him. We can speculate about the why, but like, it is strongly implied that they have sex for the first time shortly after Maxim’s confession. She wants him.
I maintain and will die on this hill that making Danny sing “Ich liebte sie, doch sie hat mich verraten” is a mistake. I mean, yes please let Danny tell us she loved Rebecca, but come on. Danny doesn’t lose her faith in Rebecca. She doesn’t stop idolising Rebecca. Whatever her reasons for setting Manderley on fire may be it’s not that she thinks Rebecca betrayed her. I don’t even think Danny thinks highly enough of herself to even consider feeling betrayed by Rebecca. Rebecca is god to her.
I definitely have more, but this post is really long and I’m running out of steam… Hope you enjoyed!
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