#it only went on my leg a little
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yesterday's incident
#we were just tryna sip boba#and eat brownies#and a mf bird#SHAT ON US.#THE NERVE#it only went on my leg a little#i got lucky#it targeted my other friends#mackyzmusic
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you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl
#yeah this fandom been a little rocky in places but i would be lying if i said this community here wasn't special to me#so much love and passion and creativity to be around and be inspired by#so many people who have been impacted by this silly little heartwrenching game#devs who have poured their heart into it to deliver something genuinely incredible#its one of those strange things that really did fully change the trajectory of this little leg of my life#to think that until 3 years ago i hadn't even touched art in a decade#now there are lovely people who want to spend money on my work#3 years ago i bought my first (and only) refurbished ps4 to play this game and now im sitting on a fancy gaming laptop#ive said it before but vp has been such an important creative outlet too#its allowed me to live my dreams of being a film director. a cinematographer. a writer.#the whole game has let me be so damn self-indulgent sometimes i feel like a kid again just unashamedly playing barbie#finding the JOY of just. creating.#i learned so much about myself through an OC because of this game#it went from 'huh what is this feeling? gender envy?' to being like full blown 'oh yea. i get it now.' so much of my life makes sense kfslf#and i met people who mean the world to me on top of it all#woof anyways#i know i say it a lot but genuinely thank u to yall who have encouraged me and supported me and who enjoy the things that i make#youve made such a difference in my life without knowing it!
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Frogs!!!!!!
#sewing#handmade#plushie#frog plushie#frog#baby blanket#frog baby blanket#frog baby set for my neighbor’s niece#this frog is entirely handsewn#because until I gave up on waiting to improve with time and requested the breakthrough asthma meds from my doctor#I very much needed to sit the hell still#and I am not good at that#but handsewing keeps me sitting still for longer#I only accidentally dropped a frog leg on the living room floor#because I forgot I was sewing and that it was on my lap once#okay maybe twice#also I broke a needle hand sewing it and half the broken needle went down my shirt#did not get even a little stabbed by the needle though! and it did not break while inside the frog#all shards of needle are present and accounted for#(and are currently in the empty pill bottle currently designated for broken pins and needles so that they don’t stab anyone in the trash)
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this is going to be an annoying rant so feel free to ignore it but so actually are there no good universities in all of the united states that don't leave you in lifelong debt?????? like hello???????? everywhere i look at that seems interesting and doesn't have reviews talking about how no one cares about you and you're on your own the entire time you're there or the staff/students are -ist/-phobic or no one does work and just goes to parties or other such things they're talking about the expenses. i want a degree because i need one if i want to do anything but i don't know if i want it enough to be in debt for my whole life. and why is the us like this. i just want to go somewhere else this country does not seem worth it to me. i want to go back in time and find a way to sink every european colonizer ship that landed on the land of the americas
#genuinely the more i look at college prices the more reasonable it feels to just go overseas somewhere instead... japan#if i'm gonna be paying at LEAST 15000 a semester wherever i go why don't i go do that in japan where i'm actually passionate about the#language and have reasons to use it and a potential to do something with it and can get places without a car and. etc#and the 15000 semester is a 15000 YEAR#only reasons the idea of being in america has ever appealed in the slightest to me is that it's a little easier to be openly queer#in certain places. not all of them!#and it's probably one of the most racially diverse places#whenever i look online people say that degrees in japan aren't worth anything but i feel that might just be them being racist#surely there are numerous people who went and got degrees in japan and are living happily. and idk bc they aren't on reddit#or posting on blogs or anything#god i feel UGHHHHH i hate everything#i know that as a Country with History japan is not particularly better than the us i know#but it's just the small things like being able to get places w/o cars and not have to pay an arm and a leg to heal like a small cut i got#that needs to be stitched. or not paying my whole body to pay off the debt of going to college because getting an education is#just not what they. want from you. they want your soul and your entire life in their hands#why am i living in this world#1 am thoughts i know but god
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Dresses that are nice but they're only made to fit you if you're 5'5 T____T
#tried on THE CUTEST dress in a medium but the waist was too high up and the skirt wasnt long enough#tried a large then and the waist was too big and the skirt STILL wasnt long enough!!#its the kind of style of dress that's supposed to cover like half your knees. and it didnt. blah#always the cutest dresses that are like long flowy and psychedelic that i like are like that#i did get a nice little green velvet victorian/swingin sixties jacket oh it was SUCH a success tho#i always have good luck with tops but dresses. ugh#i can only wear MINI dresses. bc a mini skirt is supposed to be short on you no matter what#medium-length dresses i have the worst luck with. im not even that tall im 5'7.#tales from diana#there's something weird about the black jeans from old navy#i bought two pairs of jeans at old navy in march of last year. the flare jeans are a size 4 and fit amazing#theyre like stretchy but not cheap and extremely comfy. theyre a typical denim blue#then i also got a straight-leg pair of black jeans. the black jean material is just not right anymore. it's extremely stiff#i know old navy mustve changed their sizes bc i have pants from them that are 5-10 years old (since i stopped growing)#and theyre all different sizes. like. i have old navy pants that are a snug 12 or a loose 4. but it was at least consistent at the time#i was trying on black flare jeans and i had to get an 8. i went in wearing THE SAME jeans i bought back in march#same CUT and everything. and even tho im tall the pants are still longer than what im used to#(im also used to my jeans being somewhat short on me) (so i dont mind it) (its more like they just cover the top of my foot)#the waist. bc i got two sizes up (old navy doesnt do odd number sizes for some reason). it like goes WAY up my waist#tho i dont mind that. im glad we're living in a high-waisted bootcut era. GRATEFUL#but still yeah.#the black jean fabric is just so stiff it's harder to squeeze yourself into even if it fits in the other color denim. u needa size up.#i went shopping w my friend (and kaily) (and our mom) (and then we went out to lunch after) bc i wanted to get her some pants#she's like 5'2 and all the pants were too long on her i felt bad. i bought her some sweaters and shoes#the sweaters were clearance only $6 i was like oh i have no problem getting those for u#still i felt bad bc they didnt have petite sizes in that store. like when she asked they were like 'no only if someone returns'#some other time we'll go to marshall's or tjmaxx >:F
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I just fucking love it when someone has dogs that are too strong for them and one of them is dog aggressive and not wearing a muzzle. Just love it. And don't get angry when I need to physically kick your dog away after it bit both me and my dog, be happy my almost 40 kilo dog listened to me and did not bite back. Fucking hell.
#good morning!#I didn't even have my coffee yet#Roef is too riled up for me to check him properly for bites#he looks tough but he's easily scared and he's pretty shaken#even after we walked off the tension somewhat by walking for an extra 30 minutes#there was some blood on my hand when I felt his leg but I can't see anything#will check again when he's calmed down#haven't seen any more blood so I think it's not that bad luckily#I have a bruise on my leg and a little superficial hole so it's not that bad#that dog wasn't there to make friends#I'm ashamed to say I kind of lost it#I yelled like a fishwife and cursed like a sailor#pretty sure everyone in my street is awake now#I do feel bad about kicking a dog though but I think the kick was nicer than having Roef actually getting angry and biting#I don't think I really hurt the dog that bad and he did back off long enough for his owner to fetch him so it is what it is#I could have been kinder to the lady because I'm sure she didn't want this either but I was so fucking pissed and just went off#maybe I'll have a talk with her once things have cooled down she only lives a block away so I know where to find her#liedeke talks#dogs#animals#roef#my pets#my dogs
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sorry followers. I'm a cat person 😔🐱
#i only love. my puppy. and my loved ones puppies#i feel bad saying that but dogs hate me and im starting to hate them back#i be walking and the mfs start chasing me for no reason!! what!!#i walked by a tiny little kitty and i went to pet it and this dog came running from god knows where and tried to bite me!!#calm down bitch im not talking to you go away!!!#i still like some stray dogs but most of the time im just wary of them#i still have that scar from when i was walking home from the store minding my own fucking business#when suddenly a dog came running from a house a#and bit my ass#or the junction of ass-leg#i was at least three meters away from your house you bastard son of a bitch#literally for no reason#when you give cats bad vibes the fellas just walk away. i feel that. go for it lil buddy#but dogs destroy your ears and then try to bite you. why#im literally walking by#ok this turned into a vent post but idk why some dogs despise me. i cant be mature about it so ill despise them back#tessas txt
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Two Of Them
#one literally sat at the door of the studio and screamed until i went outside to pet him 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺#we only met once before. but he knew.. he knew i will scratch his little head#both of them kept running around and into my legs 😭😭😭 genuinely so cute
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im so sleepy is anoyone else so sleepy here
#i went swimming in da sea today twas nice#cold as balls but it was sunny so i didnt mind#first time i swum in da sea since i was like 14 o_O#tiring as fuck though i kept accidentally getting swept far away from the shore so it was a real workout making my way back#its ok though i lived#but after i got out my leg was red as hell and little red marks all over it#dunno what that was all about. its gone now but#strange very strange indeed#anyways im so sleepy but its only 6pm.#im drinking a pepsi to encourage consciousness#and litsening to my tunes#a day in the life of omtai...!
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my nightly routine before bed it to listen to music and pace my room to unwind and i cant do that tonight because i am just That Tired
#as much fun as ive had this day has been an autistic nightmare#went grocery shopping. to walmart no less#did quite a bit of driving in a very hot car. it was so sunny out to day (both a blessing and a curse)#cooked a meal with the groceries i got while someone was in the kitchen with me#ate said meal with that person (my mom)#and then cleaned the house with her#not only is my social battery drained entirely and im boarderline nonverbal#but my entire body aches. my legs hurt so bad#im going to be in so much pain tomorrow. and i still have so much to do#i have to do the dishes the laundry and clean to livingroom#we're getting a new couch this weekend so we have to deep clean in preparation for that#oughhh#i just wanna listten to my silly little playlists bro
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i feel like i own every conceivable pattern and then i go looking for something and it's not quite right
#libra.txt#what do you MEAN i only have one pattern for leggings and they DON'T HAVE SIDE SEAMS#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE POCKETS#(i'm not apparently)#gonna have to draft a vest pattern to get the look i want#which shouldn't be too hard bc i have loads of vest patterns and adding a little at the bottom would be fashion not fit#BUT i don't have any vest patterns that go up high enough#or a shirt pattern that crosses over right to adjust#AND i have no clue where my lantern sleeve pattern went#raine why did i decide to cosplay you 😭😭😭#IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT TO MAKE. I HAVE THE FABRIC I NEED#JUST NOT THE PATTERNS???????#i should not be surprised. i combined three different patterns to make my prom dress.#that's not even cosplay!!!!!!!#i did however get so wired ribbon so doing fi's tights shouldn't be too hard now 👍#just. need to draft that cloak pattern#and if all else fails i do still have link outfits i can do#who knows maybe i'll even do blue link
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my dog the SECOND we both gain consciousness: *sue sylvester voice* i am going to create an environment that is so toxic and uncomfortable for your legs *immediately lies in such a position i have to pretzel my legs to sit on my side of the bed*
#when i wake up i sit up in bed for a little bit until im fully awake#every morning when i do i like fold my legs up and i intend to do it just for a second to sit up and then id like to extend my legs again#my dog always IMMEDIATELY comes and lies right on my feet pressing her whole body weight against my legs so they have to stay folded up#and refuses to leave for like 15-20 mins#shes only like 25 pounds i COULD move her but i refuse shes my pubby she just wants snuggle times#shes doing it rn and i just made her move and as i stretched and extended my legs out she came and went under the blanket im using#and forced her way UNDER one of my legs so its like in the air#i have my ankle like folded back over my other leg so im not putting the whole weight on her but like. most of it is.#the ultimate weighted blanket is mommys leg
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Me when I notice a spider normally: awww, hi cutie
Me when there’s MOVEMENT RIGHT BESIDE MY HEAD ON MY PILLOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT: AAH! Jesus FUCKING Christ. When did you get there and why my pillow? *catching breath* *I gently shake them onto the floor* *i then have to pick up my laptop from where it slid off of my startled ass*
#emma posts#that species might not be deadly on its own. but the shock might have killed me#it was a chill little wolf spider. a species im familiar with#really common around here and there used to be a bunch where I would wait for the school bus as a teen#I have adhd so of course I would just stare at them until the bus showed up#this one was pretty big. about the size of a U.S. quarter coin#an impressive but not unheard of size#once I realized what it was and got them onto the floor I was fine#but I had to catch my breath and I think I bent my charging cord weirdly#my cat wasn’t happy with the sudden movement but SORRY FOR HAVING A HEART ATTACK I GUESS#not a literal one. but my heart was certainly moving#this all happened last night and I was reminded of it when I went to pick something up today#if it’s just one little guy that minds it’s own business I don’t mind having them around#but did they need to startle me that badly?#taking the lords name in vain and I’m not even Christian anymore#the guy was like all leg so it was a bunch of sudden movements out of the corner of my eye#and in a way that insects don’t. they only have six and they kinda move together you know?#but spiders kinda ripple#I hadn’t seen a spider in this place all year. okay? my guard was down in my room#I hope i don’t see a bunch more because the building doesn’t like them and they might call an exterminator
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Pining hell
#in recently memory i have not wanted something with the intensity that i wanted to close the distance of 5 centimeters and press our sides#together. we were SO close. gravity was literally on my side we were sitting in a playground slide hiding from the sun my legs were swung#over the side she sat at the base and all i had to do was relax a little and i would have slid right into her#and she would have let me#when i saw her again for the first time in years she called to say she was walking down the street towards me and we would see each other#soon and i ran. i wanted to see her so bad so i ran and we ended up on opposite sides of the highway with no crossing#hi#from across the telephone line#and we talked like that until we got to the traffic light and she crossed to meet me and i wanted to hug her and look at her all at once#i looked at her. she'd lost some weight. she wears flat shoes now instead of the heels she adores. she cut her bangs#some time between the shared plate of french fries and the rose bushes we walked past time started moving again and i thought about the#future. for once looking forward to it. where would i go? what would i do? i didnt know before but i knew then i wanted it to be with her#ive always kind of known that#i used to think about her constantly#over the years i thought about her less and less but still often enough to maintain contact#hi it has been *checks timestamp* SIX DAYS?!#only six days since i wrote all the above and istg i felt time slowing down and stopping the longer i went without her#until i just kinda. settled back into living without her#six days ago it was unbearable#now im just as i have been for the past several years#and its kind of sad seeing that play out#but also by nature of getting used to it i cant even really get sad about it#its like listening to someone else distant from me talk about a foreign concept#love‚ i think i understood it just a little bit a week ago#it seems to have felt great#i dont remember it all that well anymore#talking tag
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do u ever see comments on posts and artwork full of effort and thought and passion etc and like. think about that post that talks about how people have the darndest time interacting with art without trying to crack a joke about it. is it really so boring to take someone's art seriously? is it necessary to demean someone's efforts, however unintended, for a 'joke' that consists of you being like "ooOOoOh how weird lol!!" like i don't want or mean to be a killjoy. but i think about that post a lot. like y do u need to add a punchline to something that doesn't need one. who asked u. why does it need to be funny. and u don't even have the decency to acknowledge its merit ;/
#wynn speaks#don't get me wrong i love being silly it's 1 of my most valued traits#but like. idk.#imagine seeing a genuinely cool animation of how a feathered dinosaur might look in a jurassic park-esque movie#and you comment that it looks like a big bird creepypasta. like rlly u couldn't keep that to urself?#sorry it's probably not that serious. i'm just extremely petty and that comment annoyed me and now i am in my petty mode#i went to check the artist out (they're on twitter @wobblyworks) and turns out dinosaurs is their Whole Thing#tbh the feathered dino animation reminds me of like#so i went to this science museum to chaperone my little sister n her classmates and they had this fun li'l thing#where a guy was in basically a full-body puppet which was a feathered t-rex#and they treated it like a 'real' t-rex while talking abt dino facts#they let kids throw a light ball at it to 'play' w it it was very cute#and like you could See the puppetteer u could see their legs and shoes and stuff#but even middle schoolers were able to look past that and see how genuinely fucking cool that was!#like yes they made jokes abt the sneakers and how a human crawled out the rex when the show was over and they had to put the suit away#but they were in so much genuine aw it was rlly cute. and it makes sense bc the suit was really well made! it had a moving mouth/jaw#and i wouldn't be surprised if it had a mechanism to blink its eyes#but i digress#i'm not saying that u can Only interact with art with complete seriousness. like jokes r fine#but idk. becomes a problem when that is the only way u interact with art. and also if you're unfunny and personally annoy me#and i'm not saying that person is the kind of person to do that. bc idk them. i'm just like#kind of annoyed with seeing repeat instances of comments that r like 'hmm this art... what if i made it about how funny i am!''#i say kind of but then i look up and there is an entire wall of tags that r just me griping about it and a detour about a dino puppet suit#sorry besties i just needed to get that out of my system ily <3#btw the dude's part of a project/kickstarter called 'forgotten bloodlines'#and it seems to be an animated documentary about prehistoric creatures#i recommend u check out the trailer it looks soo cool
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wheres liam gets home fic . wheres liam recovery .. please
#crying shaking and wailing#i want to see him OUT and REALISTICALLY affected#i want to see him get HOME and START healing . and it be hard because thats not easy. but i wanna see him START GETTING THERE A LITTLE BIT#yeah i could write it myself . but alsi i have no energy . drawing is slightly easier bc its all visuals and its smth im much morefamiliar#with#and writing is fun but i can only do it every now and then . like im good at analysis but the moment i have to like#write a narrative my brain explodes#but perhaps that is the price i will have to pay for a liam recovery fic.#that uh. doesnt immediately throw in shipping#idm shipping and i think its occasionally cute but its certainly not what im looking for#and every fic ive seen lean into this ultimately decides to start makin characters kiss#like i said idm but its one of those things where its like. right off the plane i dont think liam needs a partner i think he needs therapy#and more general support if that makes sense?#these fics are generally still good! its just that i still havent found any fic that captures what im looking for which is liam HEALING#anyway. i went on a tangent. ill probably try to write it myself even though i am a pretty. slow writer (esp with narratives)#and thats not even CONSIDERING the research (both that ive already done for this and that id have to do) regarding like.#the legal aspects. ehat to do abt his leg bc how he gets home can very much affect that. etc
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