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#and thats not even CONSIDERING the research (both that ive already done for this and that id have to do) regarding like.
upsidedowngrass · 1 year
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wheres liam gets home fic . wheres liam recovery .. please
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casual-socks · 7 months
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HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking
WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i
youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options
1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.
2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)
and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.
now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.
SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH
so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.
GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!
NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man
now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.
gerard.
that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.
keay.
now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.
now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.
another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.
okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍
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anti-endo-haven · 1 month
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tw / ramcoa mention, polyfragmentation, dormancy mention, fusion mention, i hope this covers all the bases and these questions finds you well
we are confused by what complex splitting patterns are, we've split multiple alters in a short time but never more than one at a specified time
we have recently noticed that we have some fragments (usually emotion/trauma/sym holders ; and i believe some of them are splits / introjects of our host) and we have layers i think ( i visualize our system as a hotel / apartment complex ) but i cant seem to access these parts but i have an instinct that they are there (do with this what u will)
i dont know that we feel more fragments than "fully fleshed" alters but we have had mass dormancy and then split a couple after that (idk if thats info u need or not) and then came out of mass dormancy, we do not fall under the high alter count section but also most of our alters do not have *one* specific role and ive read thats a necessity
↑ would this be consider polyfragmented ? ove done alot of research but some of the vocabulary used is hard to wrap my brain around it
we have endured ra & oa but not mc are we still allowed to refer to ourselves as a ramcoa system ? and also do we have to be polyfrag if were ra / oa ? thank you so much!
Complex splitting patterns can be splitting in groups, splitting alters to hold the same trauma or memories, having a split that can take longer but holds more than one alter splitting, things like that.
With the layers, you can see about trying to form some of connection by trying to leave notes where you and your system frequent as a means of seeing if any alters from those layers will respond. Even if you can’t communicate with them or go to them, that doesn’t mean that you’re void of knowing that they’re there. Like for us, we have a different sidesystem that we only have one member we can talk to, but we know there are more but don’t know the details (and we aren’t pressuring them to tell us anything).
Sometimes you won’t entirely know the fragments or fully fleshed alters, and that’s alright. Even with the mass dormancy and then the come out, that’s still a very complex pattern and that can lead to polyfragmentation which is more than probable for you.
All of that does sound like polyfragmentation and more and likely is. But I also like to say that just use what you can and if it’s wrong, you don’t have to use it anymore. I also just say that complexities for splitting patterns can look different for everyone so some of the terms might not be something you experience but you experience other parts of what’s already there (layers are also a part of polyfragmentation as well as subsystems).
Even if you have only experienced one thing under the RAMCOA umbrella, you are still a survivor. You don’t have to experience all of the things in that umbrella to be considered a survivor. OA and RA make you a survivor. You are absolutely allowed to call yourself both a survivor and system (as you’ve experienced both ritual abuse and organized abuse).
You do not have to be polyfrag to be a survivor. It’s more common, but not a requirement.
I hope this helps you some, anon!
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echoalyssa · 3 years
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Phantom | Dick Grayson
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Authors Note: There’s some light language in this, but thats about all!
“Phantom to Nightwing, entering dead zone now. Start the clock and come in if I’m late. I love you.”
You now had an hour inside the base, unable to contact anyone. You were collecting intel and because you were the stealthiest and smallest, (Damian was too young for this particular mission) Bruce had sent you in.
Your boyfriend, Dick Grayson had wanted to come with you but Bruce had rejected the idea because two people was more risky than one.
Dick had been livid, it was more risky for your life for you to go alone. He was your partner even though you were all a team. Ever since childhood, the two of you fought together and somewhat seemed to share the same mind.
You push a vine our of your dace. Your black masks shows the digital map of the quietest places to step. Your hood is pulled up to disguise your features and skin tone that obviously didn't fit in with the darkness of the air around you.
You had left your mottled cloak behind, opting to only have to worry about your body and where you place it. 
Joker was extremely active underground lately, he’d evolved and Bruce had only your mission as a lead. 
Your mask displays your one hour timer on the left hand side of your vision. Fifty minutes to get into the compound and back to safety.
The compound comes into view, a flat stone building that just didn’t fit in with the forest that surrounded it. You creep forward, staying in the shadows and hugging the walls of the building until you reach the only vent.
The stone was practically flat but years of training allowed you to look your gloved fingers into a crevice and wedge a booted foot into the building.
You begin climbing, scaling upwards twenty feet. The screws of the vent are all different and you have to pull away from the wall, your body straining so you can unscrew the bottom two.
You’re small enough that you can pry the vent open enough that you can squeeze yourself in. Forty minutes your clock reads. You were going too slow. You crawl forward on your elbows, you trek forward, you should have asked for two hours. Shit.
You hit the record button on your wrist panel and pull the microphone out.
It’s a tiny one but the quality is amazing. You’re peering through a small vent above a research lab now and you thread the microphone and it’s wire through the vent. The audio feeds into your ear piece and also saves to the hard drive in your panel.
You’re holding your breath, only breathing when you have to to minimize any chance of getting caught.
“We need to move in now! He’s only getting more recruits and it’s only a matter of time before they find us again.” Says a voice.
“If they haven’t already! I say we try the new weapon on some unsuspecting crowd of bystanders now. Then they’ll be too busy trying to save those silly citizens to deal with us.”
“Yes but is it ready..?”
“It needs to be tested again and we need to find a more powerful energy source eventually.”
And then the joker walks into view of the vent. He’s holding a blueprint and he spreads it on one of the tables. It’s the paint schematic for the weapon because of course, the joker being the joker meant that everything needed to be green, purple, and white.
You raise a hand to your mask and tap twice. It takes a screenshot of your view of the blueprint and sends it to the bat hard drive.
“Did you have any luck with batons inner circle? Would anyone snitch?”
“A couple...” the speaker listens. It’s valuable intel and now Bruce would be able to feed false information to the rats.
You begin to tap their names away into the panel and then attempt to wirelessly hack into the mainframes. The firewall were strong and plentiful but eventually they all fall victim to you. Sixteen minutes your timer reads. Shit. The data downloading from their computers and into your drive is only halfway done.
It won’t be very detailed. Just minuscule bits of information because you couldn't connect physically to the computers. It’s a line of script here and there that didn't make much sense to you because you weren't super tech-y. Though every line counted and that you knew. Several addresses also pop up.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, your panel signals that the download is complete. Seven minutes reads the timer. Double shit.
You scramble backwards knowing that you’ve done all that you can. Somehow managing to turn yourself around in the small space. You’re almost at the vent when you foot clangs against the side of the vent.
You freeze, no alarms go off, but then again why would they? The timer is still ticking and you continue on, sliding out of the vent. You fumble with the screws, attempting to get them back in in case your cover hadn't already been blown. You then plant your feet, push off and flip down to the ground. You land nimbly in a rolling crouch and then pop to your feet and take off, sprinting for the tree line.
They come from the shadows. Dozens of them. All focused in on you.
You suck in a breath and draw your longswords.
“Bring it on Goonies!” You call and they surge forward all at once. Some with guns, electric batons, and swords.
You stalk forward, meeting them in the middle. You begin slashing immediately at arms, legs, torsos, anywhere that wasn’t too lethal. You weren't a killer.
Except there were just so many, the sword in your left hand falls from your grip and you pull out a disc, throwing it into the incomers. It explodes, blinding some and wounding others. 
You yank s taser out from your belt and stab it into an attackers neck while blocking an attack with your sword. And then it happens. A baton smacks into the back of your head and you stumble forward, dizzy. A blade slashes your thigh, splitting skin and muscle. A cry comes fro, your lips and you lash out desperately with your one remaining longsword. You're able to down the foe who had slashed you.
Two more take his place and then a dagger rips through your abdomen from behind. You scream, falling to your knees. Just as it gets put through your thigh, followed by your shoulder. You land in the grass face first and the world goes dark, sound fading out.
‘Dick.’ Is your last thought.
~~~
Dick is staring at the timer that is displayed by his make. 00:00:05. 00:00:04. 00:00:03. 00:00:02. 00:00:01. And the dreaded number... 00:00:00. It blares red and he stares at the forest, fists clenched. Where was she?
Tim steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder. “Give her five minutes okay? She’s smart. You know how these missions sometimes go overtime. She’s got this.”
“We never should have sent her in alone. It was too risky. Damn it!”
His fist rockets into a tree. He considers going after Bruce, giving him a piece of his mind. Then decides that it isn’t worth it and begins to prepare to go in after his love.
He makes sure to grab the miniature cauterizer and some other emergency medical supplies, stuffing them into the pouches on his belt.
“Wait, Nightwing, we’ll go together. We need a plan!” Damian calls.
His heart is pounding out of his chest and he can’t breathe. ‘What if he was too late? What if she was already gone?’
He doesn’t want to wait for a plan, time was ticking. He pushes past his adoptive brother.
“Dick wait!” Jason calls trying to grab his arm. But he keeps going, breaking for the trees to find her.
Jason and Tim look at each other, then they both look at Damian. “Stay here.” They say simultaneously/
“No way!” He yells back at his brothers.
The three of them take them off after Nightwing. And Bruce, having watched all his children run into danger, follows them in.
Nightwing is pushing through vines and branches, not caring if he makes noise or not. He knows the rest of his family will follow him, but quietly.
His mail enhances his vision in the darkness. He draws a thumb over his own panel and it activates the heat censor on his mask. Dick Grayson pushes forward quickly, scanning frantically for her heat signature.
And then he sees it. She’s always run cold. Her fingers and limbs always frozen. A small prone figure, running colder than the other surrounding bodies. He kicks up his pace, heading for her because he just knows.
“Phantom!” he yells, followed by, “Robin! I think I found her!”
He skids to a halt and falls to his knees, he can see the stab wounds. The way her blood has soared into the ground beneath her. 
Nightwing rolls her over, jamming his fingers under her neck to find a pulse. It’s there. But weak.
He rips the cauterizer out of his belt and drapes her body over him just as Jason appears. 
“Is she..?”
“Alive.” He grunts, “Not for much longer I need to..”
Jason helps him rip the uniform away enough so Dick has enough room to maneuver.
“Hold her down!”
Jason does as he’s told and Dick places the cauterizer to her skin.
“Only do what you have to, we need to get out of here. And soon.”
He pushes the two flaps of skin together and places the sparking tool to it. The heat melds the skin together. She’d need to be pumped full of antibiotics in case any of the blades were dirty and risked infection.
She only stirs slightly, too disoriented from her loss of blood. He talks to her the whole time he works on her.
He only does her abdomen, knowing that it’s her most serious injury. It might not even hold from the jolting and jostling that would occur in the journey back. Dick stabs a painkiller into her thigh, just in case she were to awaken.
He motions to Tim and Damian, who had been standing guard, to take up the rear. Grayson then scoops up his girlfriend, cradling her to his chest.
“Jason. Take point. Let’s get her home.”
~~~
He sits by her bedside. His hands are covered in her dry blood, along with his suit. He hadn’t bothered to change.
Y/N had needed a blood transfusion and he had offered immediately, hence why there was a needle in his arm funneling blood into girlfriend. Alfred had stitched do her wounds and hooked her up to an IV for hydration and anti-infection purposes.
She’d been changed out of her uniform after she was stable for cleanliness reasons and was now wearing one of his black shirts.
He’s holding her hand, his thumb tracing over the pulse point of her wrist occasionally.
It would be a long road to recovery for her though they all knew that she would bounce back and attempt to get back in to the field as soon as she could walk.
It’s days later when she finally wakes, her eyelids fluttering.
“Dick.” She whispers.
He’s right there, just like he had been, he’d only left briefly to shower but he ate and slept at her side. Jason had covered both of your patrols, with Bruce helping out.
“I’m okay. You’re okay, babygirl.” He places a hand on her face and she leans her head into his touch.
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tigerdrop · 4 years
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king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey
 listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased
so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."
envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon
ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching, 
if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny 
alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension
furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"
you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this 
Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched 
what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it
and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series
YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool
giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ
i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......
Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do 
Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam
its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate 
benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours
i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise 
gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop
a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when  gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you?  you sure about that one." 
tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real....... 
even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place 
knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly 
and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder....... 
maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair....... 
alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid 
eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here 
UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH
and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does 
eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red 
sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive....... 
He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING 
gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight 
benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"
trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in
benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-
thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable 
"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune
imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon? 
gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind 
its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz
probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish
new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides
benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something
i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health
you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again" 
i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks 
neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that
i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go
ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution
hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.
its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out
oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!
ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)
ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)
thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)
ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)
<3 w.a. 🐺
hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e
yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.
"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.
falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.
i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.
bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.
my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!
DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.
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Hi… I wanted to ask this on anon so I didn’t ask on your personal, idk if this is too personal or anything to ask but
Do you have a problem with people saying they have a mental disorder if they don’t have a diagnosis? Like for me so… I have been diagnosed with anxiety but I am like 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And like I know you can’t diagnose me so I’m not going to go into depth with my symptoms but ever since I was like, 11, I used to get very depressed to the point where I contemplated ending it but then i would snap out of it and I think for me my manic phase are hypomanic bc ive never experienced like the full range of those symptoms but my depressive phases get very rough esp if I have external stressors but it will go through what I assume to be these phases like sometimes within the day esp if I have a stressor.
I am in nursing school and I work at a psych hospital so like this isn’t coming out of nowhere, I am very familiar with all mental disorders and it was actually during my psych nursing class and learning about bipolar disorder that I was like… hm… why does this feel like a mirror right now. I am aware I should get to a therapist and get an actual diagnosis (if I had money I would lol) but like idk. Idk if it’s worth going to my doctor at my physical and being like “hey I think I have this” I am lucky enough now that I am in a good place and can manage my symptoms but I am terrified I will go through a stressor again and lose it so idk. I mean I feel like I already know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway to see your take :/
Anyway idk as a future medical professional I think self diagnosis got a bad rep and it’s like idk I think for mental disorders esp you can tell if you have anxiety and it’s a persistent problem. You can tell if you have depression. I know bipolar disorder is harder to diagnose but idk I think since I’m in the field it’s easier? Idk I felt like a sense of relief with learning about it and finding similarities and being like “well maybe that’s why I’m like that”. But idk now I’m feeling uneasy bc I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t want to be like, stepping over people who were diagnosed. Thank you in advance if you read all this and yeah I’m sorry I know it’s a lot and this is controversial
ok this is a long post so im putting it under a cut but tldr, no i dont have a problem with it. it doesnt matter if you actually have an illness, it matters if you find a solution to your problem. if treating yourself like you have a certain condition makes it easier to go through life, then keep doing what works for you, you are doing nothing wrong. this all goes for physical and mental illnesses.
im a firm proponent of self diagnosis. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have the confidence to research mental illnesses and advocate for myself. as someone who is extremely familiar with the medical profession on account of being the daughter of a doctor and a nurse and spending my childhood running around a hospital, im extremely privileged to even have the knowledge and ability to do so, and i try to bear in mind the understandable hesitancy of people without this advantage. i know that you are well within your right to refuse medication that makes you sick, i know that you can complain about a doctor that isnt listening to you, i know that you are allowed and encouraged to be adamant about things you are told dont matter, and in addition to that, i have a VERY well known doctor and a nurse in my corner, and i am STILL treated as though i do not understand my own experiences enough to have any authority more often than i am not.
the reason self diagnosis gets a bad rep imo is because people have constructed this boogeyman of the worst case scenario, people collecting mental illnesses they dont have for attention as opposed to what it is, people doing research into their experiences and making theories on what they have so they can manage it. youll often see the take of "i dont hate self dxd i just hate people who do it for attention" and i think thats very irresponsible considering a symptom of many mental illnesses is thinking youre faking it and doing it for attention, nevermind the fact that attention seeking behaviour is literally a symptom of many mental illnesses people often dont want to empathize with. gatekeeping whos illness is real just keeps people who need help out. i could go into an anarchist screed about democratizing health, but basically, as someone whos life has been saved by my insistence on self diagnosis, and whos life has been made significantly easier by treating myself as though i have the conditions that i theorize i have, self diagnosis saves lives, and i, as an advocate for disabled people of all kinds on my island, will never put any conditionals on self diagnosis. it doesnt matter if you find the right name for your problem, it matters if you find a solution that works. i have yet to meet any of these fabled people who never try to receive a professional opinion, only people who literally cant.
as for feeling guilty, ill repeat how i opened this answer: it does not matter what exactly your problem is, it matters that you find a solution that works. in medicine generally, there will be a wide spectrum of problems with overlapping treatments, things which are similar but distinct, things which look identical but are completely different and at different levels of concern. it doesnt really matter which grab bag of bullshit your brain is reaching from, it matters that you know how to deal with what it throws at you, whatever that may be. dont worry about getting it right, worry about getting it working. okay?
for advice on how to deal with doctors, its helpful to pose it as a hypothetical as opposed to an absolute. when i bring up things im dealing with that i have a theory about i say "i think i have x" or "i think i might have x" or "i have a lot of symptoms of x". doctors are often egotistical and are easily challenged so it helps to pose it at a problem they can solve as opposed to one youve solved for them otherwise they get spooked. in my experience posing it this way leads them to actually interrogate this line of symptoms, and theyll ask you why you think that, and you can bring up symptoms that led you to that conclusion, and ones that give you trouble especially. for example, ive said "i think i may have autism or adhd? or both" to several doctors, and they either agree with me (i believe its been put in my file as a possibility now although i cant get an official test done due to financial and resource restrictions) or they ask why i think so, and i detail what i believe is due to my autism. its small, but this reframing helps a lot.
i think this covers all you said but my head is empty as hell.
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justalitlecreacher · 4 years
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I’m here to prove that Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Spider-man/peter parker in The Amazing Spider-Man is objectively the best love action adaptation of the character. In this essay I will....(yes this is really happening)
Edit: 10/20/20- i want to indulge myself in spiderman content but finding non mcu spiderman content is exhausting so imma update this instead
TL;DR
Andrew Garfield is my favorite of the 3 Spider-Man actors. TAS’s Peter is more fun and dynamic than the cookie cutter “shy introverted nerd that has a crush on a girl who’s way out of his league” Peter in Tobey Maguire’s movies. I enjoy Tom Holland’s portrayal of the character, but hate the way Disney has written the movies.  I enjoy the characters, plot, and humor of The Amazing Spider-Man far more than the other 2, and i deeply wish we had gotten the third movie with the canon BIder-Man of Andrew’s (and my) dreams.
[DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT SEEN THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 OR ANY MCU SPIDERMAN MOVIES OUTSIDE OF CLIPS AND REVIEWS ITS ALSO BEEN A VERY HOT MINUTE SINCE IVE SEEN A TOBEY MAGUIRE MOVIE]
Characterization
  Most arguments against Andrew Garfield’s Spidey( AG’s from now on) begin and ends with “he was a good Spider-Man but a bad Peter Parker”. This references an outdated post comparing all three Spidey actors.(Id attach the image here but i dont want the post to be too long(thats a lie this is so long what am i doing with my life)) The post also claims that Tobey played a good Peter and a poor Spidey; and that Tom is good at both “roles”.(Honestly I think it seems silly that this seems obey the “third time’s the charm” rule but thats just me).  Most people using this seem to be Tobey stans who have forgotten or ignored the rest of the post funnily enough, but the ones that go further into the WHY AG is a poor Peter are also incorrect. This argument also ignores the idea that there can be more than one version of Peter Parker which is blatantly incorrect.  Just look at Into the Spiderverse or the PS4 game; these provide 4(5 if you count the pig) versions of Peter themselves, and that doesnt even include the comics. 
 Arguments that go further in depth claim that the AS Peter is too cool or well liked by his peer to be a “true” Peter Parker. The evidence for this seems to be that Peter has a skateboard.(which what? didnt realize that having a skateboard would instantly make you cool brb guys). Adding to that i dont really see where people get the idea that Peter is popular or well liked. While looking for complaints i found this qutoe from reddit(theyve since deleted it looks like but i’ll add a link in the notes) “He's angsty, pretty socially awkward, has an aptitude for science, and is kind of an outsider. He gets bullied by Flash and he gets his ass kicked after trying to stand up to Flash. He isn't a "cool" person in any way (until the ending, in which he's best buds with Flash, so I'll give you that). While Maguire is more accurate to the 60s comics where Peter in high school is just a fucking loser with basically no friends, in the ultimate comics, Peter is more of the kid who has a small amount of friends, but isn't popular.”. Honesty i fully agree with this because once again, other versions of a character are allowed to exist. You can dislike one version, but its silly to dislike something for not being exactly like another thing.
Ive also heard that Peter isnt “nerdy enough” in this movie which really doesnt make any sense considering the entire plot happens because Peter was looking into some of his parents’ research. If he wasn't interested in looking further into his father’s work what reason would he have to go to Oscorp where he’s bitten by the spider? Why would he have become Dr. Conner’s assistant? If he wasn’t intelligent how did he develop the web shooters?(something that Tobey!Peter doesn't have to do out of plot convenience might i add).  
 Another complaint i see is that the quips he uses in the movie(the first one specifically it seems) makes him seem like an asshole. Honestly thats a fair complaint, but i think its a good bit of characterization; espcially if he does get better about it in the second movie like the internet suggests.The Peter in this movie is a rightfully angsty teen; of course he acts a bit of an ass to criminals(also i feel like its important to mention that he’s like that to criminals? its not like hes being a dick for no reason).
  Compare this with the Tobey Maguire(TM) movies. Like i said i haven’t seen these in awhile but as far as i’m aware TM’s Peter doesn't really do anything particularly nerdy in the film? I may have forgotten something( ok in the scene before he gets bitten he knows a cool spider fact) but he doesn’t have to invent the web-shooters because they came with his powers and he’s only at Oscorp in the first place because it’s a school field trip that he appears to be taking photos for. This Peter does fit the definition of outcast(friendless and bullied for it), but honestly i just dont like him. He’s weird and something about the character makes me feel like i should be a little grossed out every time he looks at MJ at the beginning of the movie.  
   I honestly don’t have any complaints for Tom Holland’s(TH’s)Spidey. Tom is a great actor and from what ive seen i enjoy his portrayal of the character.( He made me cry when i character i actively dislike died).  
Story
  I cant really say much for TAS story. It’s interesting but nothing special really. However, there is one scene that i don’t think i’ve seen anything like since( the closest would probably be the train scene in the original trilogy). 
 The crane scene. Early in the film Peter saves a boy from a car that has fallen off of a bridge, and at the end of the movie this becomes relevant again when it is uncertain that Peter will be able to get to the lizard to stop him in time.(as Peter is already injured and pretty far from the lizard’s location). The boy’s father is then revealed to be a construction worker who recognizes that Spider-man is going to need help to get to the lizard; he remembers how Spider-Man saved his son and organizes the rest of the construction workers to build a path out of crane arms for SM to swing from. All of them are putting themselves in danger by not evacuating, but SM’s actions in the first act of the film motivate them to do what’s right. 
  I love this scene primarily because it highlights something that i think is a really important part of Spider-Man’s character; his connection to the people he saves. SM is often shown interacting with and chatting with the people he has saved after the fact. One comic shows Peter accidentally scaring some bullies and then taking the time to ride the bus to school with them to continue their conversation and educate the students on bullying.( There’s definitely more but this is off the top of my head).
  Another scene in TAS that i love is shortly before the crane scene when Peter is originally attempting to make his way across the city to stop the lizard, and he is shot down by the police. They manage to unmask him before Peter comes to his senses( he had just been shot and fallen pretty far out of the sky in his defense). From there Peter is able to deal with the police while keeping any of them from getting a good look at his face. The one cop he cant take out happens to be Gwen Stacey’s father who had previously had an argument with Peter about Spider-Man(Peter obviously on SM’s side and Mr. Stacey against SM). Peter turns and allows Captain(?) Stacey to see his face. I believe that this is an example of an unwilling identity reveal done right. i really enjoyed this moment because Peter had just shown that he likely could have gotten out of this encounter with his identity in tact as he had just taken down however many men. This implies that it was an active choice on Peter’s end to trust that Captain Stacey would ultimately do the right thing and allow Peter to go fight the Lizard, rather than a final desperate attempt to get away unscathed. Whether or not this interpretation of the scene is correct or not it still gives the character a bit more agency than some versions have done with their identity reveals.
  In Spider-Man 2 Peter starts to lose his powers because he’s having internal conflict about wether or not he should be Spider-Man. Honestly thats kinda neat and i might want to give that a rewatch. As for the one i have seen i don’t have any complaints. I do however prefer the way that Peter was bitten in TAS because it was a result of him poking around where he shouldn’t’ve been rather than him just happening to be standing in the right place for a spider to land on him. 
  Onto TH’s movies; the way Disney has treated Spidey in the MCU is why TH’s is my least favorite version of the character. I feel like too much of the story revolves around Iron Man; Iron Man made Peter’s suit and equipment, Iron Man introduces Peter to the MCU(via blackmail but thats another rant for another annoyingly long post), its Iron Man that “makes” Spidey in this universe rather than Spidey being self-made. In Homecoming(which remember i havent seen outside of clips so bear with me) most of the conflict is cause directly or indirectly by Tony’s refusal or inabilty to communicate with the teenager he’s meant to be mentoring
 For one the entire incident with the ferry could have very easily been avoided had Tony bothered to communicate with Peter enough to tell him that the situation was being taken care of. On top of that at the moive’s climax Peter is shown trying to get in contact with Happy(from what ive picked up isnt he a chauffeur? like idk his deal i just know he’s someone Peter got pawned off onto after Civil War). Peter even goes as far as to somehow hack into Happy’s phone(i think thats what happened it was a weird tech thing that shouldve been a red flag that the call was important though) but instead of listening; Peter is ignored. If this was a different kind of movie Peter literally could have died and itd be the fault of Happy and Tony like..... A large portion of conflict comes from characters being incompetent and not communicating and thats just poor storytelling.
Before this turns too much into an anti mcu rant id also like to say that the way they did Civil War was really dumb considering that Peter defects to Cap’s side in the comics, but whatever.
 Also i loathe the way they handled the identity reveal at the end of Far From Home. With MCU movies most people know to expect an end credits scene by now, but typically that scene is not important to understand what’s happening in the films; they just aren’t important. Putting an identity reveal here makes it seem significantly less important than it is. On top of that i dislike their use of J Jonah Jameson for this scene.
  JJJ is a character who has been repeatedly shown to have a genuinely good heart. All of his anger comes from a place of love for his city(he even says this hemself in the ps4 game when May writes in to tell him that he needs help). He hates Spider-Man because SM reminds him of the masked man who killed his wife; JJJ has never been able to get past that( and Peter’s antagonism of him definitely doesnt help) However, JJJ has been shown to care for people; he has a son who he often brags about, and one comic shows that JJJ is paying Peter for “amateur” quality photos because he knows that Peter is having a hard time and “just need some help”. JJJ has even learned Peter’s identity before and kept his secret for him(seriously though i cant remember the name of the comic but its defiantly worth the read), and in the original trilogy when Goblin threatens JJJ he claims that he doesn’t know who sends in the photos of Spidey because he does it via email( this is a lie). The MCU will have a very difficult time convincing me that JJJ would ever out a teenager’s identity and put him in danger like that. It goes too far against his character.(this could be hypocritical of me to say considering how i just insisted that multiple versions of a character can exist but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 
This is accidentally turning into an MCU rant but id also like to say that i hate the lack of a TH!Spidey origin movie because it gives you no motivaion for Peter becoming SM or explanation of his powers; most people will know these things but if youre unfamiliar with the character its bound to be confusing(and im a sucker for origin movies)
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jimlingss · 4 years
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pt.2 of yesterday
I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!
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anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)
“this is madness” LOL
You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!
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anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)
Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)
while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon
You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>
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Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1
Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2
Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3
Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4
Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5
Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6
Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.
((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))
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backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.
asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!
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youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.
oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL
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Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓
Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)
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joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️
LOOOOOOOL
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haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.
Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.
The me in ten years will certainly be better now.
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Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤
Thank you :’]
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Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all
Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗
LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 
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bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)
tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.
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justanoutlawfic · 5 years
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You’ll Be In My Heart: Chapt. 2
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Summary: Robin explains his proposition to Regina.
Also on AO3
It had been 5 years since Robin had seen Regina Mills. She had worn suits every day over the year long court battle and always looked so put together, despite having a toddler at home. He always commended her for that. She seemed so strong, until the verdict that was. He watched her break down into Daniel’s arms, looking more devastated than he had ever seen anyone.
 Now, she looked a lot more relaxed. She was wearing a pair of lounge pants and a long-sleeved shirt, her hair shorter. God, she was more beautiful than she had any right to be.
 “I don’t understand,” Regina said, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I tried for over a year to get him back. It’s impossible.”
“A lot has changed.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’ve been taking care of Henry for the past 4 years.”
Regina tilted her head. “I don’t understand. Emma was the one that got custody after the case.”
“Emma died a year after the verdict.”
 Regina’s eyes widened and she stepped away from the door, gesturing for him to come inside. He stepped into the house, looking around the comfortable yet meticulously decorated living room. On the mantle piece above the fire place were a few pictures, some of her and Henry, but most of just him. He had never seen baby pictures of his nephew. It was hard to think that he had once been a squishy little baby. In the pictures where he was held by his former adoptive mother, he was looking at her with all the love in the world.
 “What happened?” Regina asked.
“It was a car accident, her and my mom were in Spain together.”
“Was Henry with them? Is he alright?”
Robin had to hold back a laugh. There was so much he wanted to tell Regina, but his lawyer had advised him against it. “No, Henry was with my sister in California at the time. Emma barely took care of him anyway.”
Hurt filled Regina’s eyes and he couldn’t blame her. “So, you have custody of him now?”
“That’s the problem. After the accident, my father was given guardianship, but he was barely around to take care of him. Mary Margaret was doing her best to help, but she was just starting college. So, I took over. Henry lives with me.”
“I’m still a bit confused where I come in.”
 Robin sighed. Admitting his faults wasn’t his strong suit, he was pretty sure it wasn’t anyone’s.
 “Henry is a very smart little boy. He’s the type to do tons of research and ask for help when it comes to answers he can’t find. We spend a lot of time reading books or going over Google.” He let out a tiny chuckle. “I’ve learned more with him, than I did over my 4 years at Vassar.”
Regina shifted uncomfortably. It should’ve been her bragging about his accomplishments and he knew that. “That’s great.”
“The thing is, he’s starting to remember things. A lot of it is hazy. He can’t remember Emma at all, but he talks about you.”
“Me?”
“He says he remembers crying and holding onto a woman with dark hair. That you gave him lots of kisses and told him it’d be okay.”
Regina bit her lip. “That was the day he was taken away from me.”
“I figured. He’s been asking about why we don’t have baby pictures of him and where he was those first few years. I’ve done my best to explain. I’ve been doing my best period, but I know that Henry needs more than me, he needs a mother. Not just any mother…he needs you.”
“Well, that’s what I argued for two years. Your family didn’t care, they ripped him from me.”
“They were wrong. Mary Margaret and I tried to talk some sense into them, but nothing worked. You have to believe me, I never wanted this.”
“I don’t see how I can help you. What are you trying to say? You want to convince Leopold to give me custody? He wouldn’t do that 5 years ago. What’s going to change now?”
Robin let out a deep breath. “I’ve been fighting for the past couple of years for my father to let me adopt Henry. He’s called me “Dad” a few times and I can tell he wants to on a permanent basis. The issue is, Leopold doesn’t think that I can do it alone. He’s old fashioned, extremely so. Even though he’s a single man, he knows that one day he’ll die. He wants Henry to have a mother and a father, like he would’ve had if my mom hadn’t died alongside Emma.”
“So…what are you trying to say?”
“If we got married, he’d let us both adopt him.”
 Regina’s mouth dropped open and for the first time since he met her, she truly seemed speechless. He couldn’t blame her, he knew that this wasn’t the most conventional way. Robin had gone over it a million times in his head before he decided to open up this can of worms. He wanted to do the right thing for Henry and this was the only way he was going to be able to do it.
 “Marry you?” Regina asked incredulously after the shock wore off. “I barely even know you. I hate your family.”
“I know, and I don’t blame you. I’m not doing this for me, I wouldn’t expect us to even share a bed. It’s all for Henry.”
“You honestly think your father is going to let me adopt him again? After everything he did to take Henry from me?”
“I’ve discussed it with him. It was never about you, he didn’t want to hurt you and Daniel personally…”
“Well, he did! This entire thing ruined my marriage. I’m assuming you know that, or else you wouldn’t be here.”
Robin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hired a private investigator to look into you. I’m aware.”
“Of course.”
“Look, Leopold isn’t a great guy and that’s why I took Henry. He’s getting sicker by the day and I know he doesn’t have much longer. I want him to consent to the adoption before he dies, or else there’s going to be an uphill battle. He’s made it clear if I don’t get married before he dies, Henry will go with Mary Margaret and her husband. Which I know they would do, but it’s not what they want. They’re still young, not even ready for kids of their own, let alone an 8-year-old.”
 Robin could tell that Regina was actually considering it, which both surprised him and didn’t at the same time. He wasn’t asking for himself, he was asking for the little boy that they both clearly loved with everything in him.
“You’re sure your father approves of me?”
“He knows at this point, he can’t be choosey.”
She rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean. Look, I love Henry. As much as I wish they hadn’t taken him from you, he’s become my entire world. If I lost him…I don’t know what I’d do.”
“Well, I already did.”
“And this is your chance to get him back. This marriage doesn’t even have to be forever. It’s just until my dad dies, then we can work out custody and all of that.”
“You’d be willing to split custody with me?”
“It’d kill me not to see him every day, but I want to do what’s right for him. That starts by marrying you.”
 Robin reached into his pocket, pulling out the black velvet box that had been burning a hole in it the 5-hour flight. He knew it was a long shot, but he had to pray that it would work. Flipping open the box, he revealed the diamond that he had selected.
 “Regina Mills, will you do me the honor of becoming my nephew’s mother…again?”
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batgirl-87 · 5 years
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So @mdeenise “challenged” me to answer all of the questions from this Hogwarts Mystery Asks: MC. I’ve already answered some (can check ‘asks’ or ‘ask game’ tags, I’ll also link them in my Masterlist) so I’ll answer the rest I haven’t been asked yet here because
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1. What is their whole name? 
Nereida Adelyn-Keira LaFontaine Black
5. How is there relationship with Jacob?
Keira and Jacob were very close - it was them against the world! They’re very protective of one another, they can get/have gotten into a lot of trouble together, both with a rebellious, mischievous streak; but they are also siblings so there’s teasing, embarrassing each other, lots of physical ‘play fighting’ - they’re very much like I can be mean to my sibling but if you’re mean to them I’ll hurt you. Clearly when he ‘disappeared’ it was devastating for Keira and she felt completely alone. 
6. How is their relationship with their parents?
Both Keira and Jacob loved their mom who was their primary caregiver. Keira honestly doesn’t really remember her dad much but Jacob hates him. She has a vague recollection of him and Regulus and Sirius, a bit better memory of Sirius who kept in contact with her and Jacob even after they moved to Canada, possibly to spite his parents but Keira thinks he actually cares about his younger half-siblings even if it was something that started out from spite or curiosity. 
When their mom died of course Jacob and Keira were very sad over their loss. They were then taken in by their mom’s close friends and moved to Canada from Ireland and while there was an adjustment period they both appreciate the care they provided, and while Jacob and Keira didn’t exactly feel like they belong in this ‘family’ their mom’s friends were great parental figures and they do care about them and appreciate everything they’ve done for them. Their dad was nonexistent in their lives after the passing of their mom (he passed soon after the next year, after the death of Regulus) but when they arrived in the UK to attend Hogwarts they did find savings left for them from their dad in Gringotts (safe to assume without his wife’s knowledge). 
So both love their mom and ‘adopted’ parents (unofficially adopted =p) and while Jacob hates their dad and views him as a manipulative, selfish, neglectful arse, Keira is pretty neutral and apathetic about her dad since she doesn’t really remember him all that well. But she appreciates the money! =p 
8. How’s their relationship with their family?
Ahahahahahaha - I’m cackling =p
Unfortunately, the family on Keira and Jacob’s mom’s side are all pretty much passed or they have no idea who they are =p Their mom and mom’s parents are passed and their mom had no siblings since her mom died relatively soon after her birth (undines...) As stated before, Jacob and Keira appreciate and care very much for their mom’s friends who took them in after her passing, although a bit of awkwardness since it’s not ‘really’ their family...
As for the Black side of their family *more cackling* Orion seemed much more interested in their mom than them and didn’t seem to want much to do with them, at least according to Jacob. Walburga hates them and this whole situation, of course! With good reason! She honestly probably would of had them killed. She focused most of her energy on ensuring this scandal did not get out into the public and was probably very relieved when they moved across the pond. Of course when Jacob returned to attend Hogwarts he was done living this lie and didn’t care who it upset and went by his Black family name, encouraging his sister to do the same - this family would not win! Walburga could try to deny it all she wanted but a paternity test (which I’ve done some research on Wizarding World paternity tests and some interesting ideas came up!) just proved it.
Despite this, Walburga and the rest of the Black family continued to ignore their entire existence. Andromeda may have been left out of the loop considering she was disowned from the family as well but when Keira and Tonks realized they were both related to Bellatrix Lestrange, and therefore related themselves, Keira was so happy to be accepted by some members of the Black family. Sirius also was accepting of his younger half-siblings and stayed in contact with them even after they moved to Canada. He may have only gone to see them at first out of curiosity and then continued to visit and communicate with them out of spite to his parents but he probably did care about them and enjoyed them more than Regulus because they weren’t brought up in a pureblood elitist household. Probably wished their mom was his mom which would just upset Walburga. And if Walburga didn’t hate them before, after she passed, Keira, now more spiteful and daring with everything that has happened, moved into the now empty (well except for Kreacher) 12 Grimmauld Place which would just piss Walburga off! How she convinced Remus, no idea - basically she was like I’m doing this and Remus had to go along with it =p
Wait, is Kreacher family? Keira and Kreacher argue a lot and she will not stand for him being mean to Remus or any of her friends and will threaten to kick him out although it’s an empty threat because she wouldn’t actually kick him out and make him homeless! Kreacher of course thinks she’s invading some place that does not belong to her but because she is a Black she sort of does belong there and while not related to his previous Walburga, she is to Orion so he has to put up with her =p They eventually reach an understanding. Kreacher is free to stay there and does not have to do any chores or cleaning up after her or Remus, as long as he’s nice... or just stays away from her friends and Remus. 
I’m not sure how Regulus felt about them, maybe neutral? I think discovering his dad’s affair would be a shock to him, he might be curious as well to meet them and I like to think did meet them at least once, possibly while their mom was passing (like Orion went to see her and Sirius and Regulus decided to go as well because, hey, it is their younger siblings whether they like it or not and it’s a hard thing to go through) but I think he was more worried and concerned about Death Eater affairs and tricking Voldemort =p
So while Keira is close with Tonks, and probably her parents as well, and both Keira and Jacob are accepted by Sirius, and maybe even Regulus, who knows =p, most of the Black family still pretends they don’t exist. Although I like to think Keira later bonds with Draco and they become close and overall these next generations are going to be better. And while Bellatrix may refuse to acknowledge Keira’s relationship to her, deep down she actually really likes Keira because she’s a strong, tough bitch who isn’t afraid of her and would have killed Dumbledore without even being a Death Eater if asked =p Seriously, Keira knows she’s actually Bella’s favorite. 
(This also pretty much works for my original HP OC bio where she was Sirius’ daughter because besides Tonks, Andromeda, and Ted, the rest of the Black family wouldn’t really acknowledge her existence either)
Does Remus count as family? Of course he does, he’s “Uncle Remus!” =p Remus and Keira had an instant bond, they are incredibly close - I like to think of it as two people who felt completely alone in the world found each other and now they were not longer alone. Keira is very much like Sirius, and Jacob can be very much like James actually, so it was actually nice for Remus to be around them if not bittersweet. I actually have a post about Keira and Remus’ relationship so I won’t say too much more besides they are very close and Keira is suuuuper protective over him.
9. Do they have any other siblings?
Sirius and Regulus Black
11. Do they have pets?
Keira has a Siamese cat and Jacob had a Barred Owl named Archimedes which I guess is hers now too? Jacob also wanted a dog or crup but then went to school so their ‘adoptive’ parents are taking care of it =p
14. Any crushes?
Charlie Weasley.
She won’t outright admit it but it’s obvious to everyone else besides Charlie. Wasn’t even aware of it herself for quite awhile! =p But fortunately she plays it pretty cool and isn’t a stuttering mess around him so maybe he has no idea she likes him because she’s so chill and nonchalant about it. Although she can be flirtatious but she can be like that with a lot of people =p (She’s related to Sirius she can’t help it! =p)
16. Have they ever dated someone before (Either back at their home or at Hogwarts)?
Rumour has it during her summer before Sixth Year, where she spent most of it in Canada, and going into Sixth Year she was dating someone. Has not been confirmed nor denied. 😜
(I think that’s all of them? Wasn't that much actually, I expected more =p But I still wrote a lot more than intended so sorry about that! Hope I explained things well enough! If anyone has any questions or want to talk about MC’s more hit me up! Thanks for your challenge! 😉💙)
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swayinghummingbirds · 5 years
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i feel like i need to blog more stuff out of me to research my own thoughts ignore me or help me either is welcomed. 
so like i was diagnosed with mdd , panic/anxiety disorder so i know how it goes and how it feels and all that jazz. used to be on medication and not for almost two years. i can usually cope well since while i was on medication ifound many ways to do so. but now ive come across season affective disorder and i gotta say i am not a fucking fan. i cant bring myself to do the coping mechanisms because im fucking cold and there is no sun ever.  
this time last year i felt the exact same way and almost moved back to fl but didnt want to give up on tn yet. but im wondering is it maybe time to give up on it? i have no family here. and my family is expanding and growing without me. which makes it worse. 
ive been where i am for almost a year now and its been good. but there are no sidewalks like anywhere? im so tired of sharing walls. sure, its a townhouse and its pretty big and two floors and fire place but my neighbors are so annoying and for some reason in tennessee so many people think its absolutely okay to let their dogs out with leashes? 
knoxville is a really cool city and ive loved living here but idk if i can stand the winter. and its just a mild winter, idk how yall in the north handle it. i see now why when i moved abck to pa for 8 months my mom had it by the time march came around and we moved back to fl. 
a part of me feels like i might even just get bored with where i am after a certain amount of time considering how i was brought up. i have moved 17 times, which is wild for a child. probably why i have a hard time making friends too. 
tried leaving work yesterday after i got my list done (usually isnt a problem for my manager but the ass. manager always fights me with it). i told him three times i already had 2 1/2 hours of overtime and ill be leaving when im finished but bitch never listens to me and acts like he didnt hear me say it to his damn face.Usually i ask just to be polite and make sure but this time im telling him. kind of snapped on him because the day before i just cried all fucking day and had that feeling in my stomach and felt the same way when i woke up. old me would have called out, one because the position i was in was easily fillable but now im actually needed so i go to do my job and if i get done early that means im working my ass off and sweating like a pig to get done three hours early. (and the girl who does the work on the two days im off never gets the shit down or sets the room or anything up in order to have a good morning because the whole thing is very time sensitive and its very frustrating. also she called out like three times this week and made my week shittier than it needed to be.) like bitch no that doesnt mean i want to stay and help with other things after exerting so much energy that i dont even have in myself to begin with. so anyways i cried and then the manager came and talked to me and was understanding because he is aware of my mental health issues and i forgot steve- the ass manager (assistant manager , but also ass because he can be an ass) was not aware. so all in all i talked to my manager and told him and he was very supportive and then i went to apologize to steve and he reassured me i was valued and adored here which was nice. and i had to basically tell him if im trying to leave early it usually means because im feeling like a crazy bitch whos on the break of a mental breakdown so. quit fighting me. 
so anyways. 
even if i did move back fl ive finally gotten myself where i wanted to be in my job but i guess if it was meant to be the universe will take care of it just like it did when we moved here. 
a week before almost moving back to fl my grandparents came to visit and we were in crossville, which is the half way point from here to where we were living at the time and i was like hey lets try knoxville and the next day we went to look at apartments and as we were looking this place went up for rent almost as if the universe here, ask and you shall receive. because i was only looking at places that was in between the three stores that we could have possibly transferred to because i had no idea which one it was going to be i just new it was going to happen. and then when trying to transfer we my fiancees assistant manager knew the manager at this store here and said that he would take both of us and needed help in the area i wanted to be in and i was like wow amazing its all working out. and it did and it was great and then it got cold. and then holidays came. and birthdays came. and i ive learned so much about myself and i feel like yes i needed this part of my life. and now im not sure if istill need it. 
we have a vision of owning a little home a nice big plot of land near the mountains with a spring and creek on site with woods around. if we kept it up and really searched when the time came yeah im feel like we could find it. but what if i still feel this way when were there? then weve bought a home and it would be harder to get rid of. i have a vision of my own business with yoga. i find myself in capable of moving between the months of decemeber and march. then what. even when i get on to the mat i cant get into the flow. 
and what if we move back to fl. would he resent me for giving up on our dreams? will i be tired of people demanding my time and energy? will i bitch about the heat all the time and the fact that neighbros are every where? probably, yes, yes, and yes. 
but will i resent him for not moving back to spend our lives with our families? will i resent myself for not listening to the feeling in my stomach? or would i resent myself if i did listen to that feeling and gave up on the mountainous dreams. 
i know we would welcomed back with opened arms and i know not many would miss us here. 
the mountains are beautiful and so mystical when there. i wonder how it would be to live there. i always end up feeling so creeped out at some point of hikes because i feel like something is watching us, and i know there is, there is always is whether its and animal or a spirit. but sometimes those spirits, or beings, are just so strong of a force. what if we bought a property with one of those that wouldnt be able to make peace with us? i always imagined if we ended up with a property with strong entities then we would make peace and ring singing bowls and plant luscious plants for them. but what if they hate it all. and what if our neighbors down the street end up being cannabilistic cult people? what if some animal tried to maul my dog (which already happens frequently, shes a chihuahua everything is out to get her). what if something happens at oak ridge? i had no idea i was living next to a giant nuclear power plant thing. 
but then its like okay what if theres a giant hurricane that tears my house down (i had a tree fall on my house during matthew which is one reason why we left) or the storm sturge sweeps my house away. trey is scared of tsunamis, not that one has happened there probably ever, idk but it is a weird fear of his. surprisingly tornados do happen in tn too. 
and a day like today, where trey is working all day and i have the day off. there isnt much to do. its cold out so i cant sit on my patio for a few hours like i would in the summer. i dont like to go shopping. i dont have a friend to hang out with, which is my own fault people im really not a big people person. i have hung out with a couple a few tiems, and idk ij ust would rather not. but if i were in fl i could go hang out with my brother, or treys sister, or the few friends i have there. or go to the beach and sit on my own, because its not fucking weird to sit alone there and usually you dont have to worry about getting mugged. i cant go to the parks here on my own. i cant take my dog for walks around here because there are no side walks and people just look shady af everywhere. 
when i went to visit for my brothers wedding in october i realized how i did not appriciate the plant life naturally around all year round when i lived there for 11 years. i guess mostly because it wasnt until two years ago that i really got in to plants but omg i cant stop imagining what our yard would look like if we were in aplace where things could just be outside all year round. i would take cuttings of my plants andjust put them every where have my own little tropical paradise in my front and back yard. 
i know this all is really sounding one sided atm but this time last year i was having the exact same visions and the exact same thoughts. and i thought about how what if my brother has kids and im up here well hello here we are now and thats happening. i feel like i need to be there. theres even a house for sale on the same street as him and all i could was fantasize what i would do to the house and how i would baby sit for them and be able to see my dog that i left with him because ultimately she was is but we co owned her together and just to be there. and be with my mom. shes living in orland with her boyfriend and i feel like the fact shes goingt o be a grandmother might sway him into moving closer, she hates the city and i imagine shes just as depressed as i am to be away and to be in a city where you dont feel safe to go outside alone. we are creatures of nature and both pisces and very sensitive to everything. 
and what if trey and i have a baby at some point? we have no one here to help us. i was thinkg about how our wedding date is a year and like two months away and i have no one here to help me plan. and for a long itme i always imagined myself getting married at this place called sugar mill gardens, a botanical garden that i had always loved in my home town there. when trey and i got together we would pokemon go there and take clippings, and i still have those plants today. but then this new vision came where we would get married on our future property. i feel like we are still a long way away from buying a house here though. idk if we would be there in time. and since we went back in october all i can think about is getting married in sugar mill. he reproposed to me when we were there and that was so sweet and just made me want to be there instead for it. 
this is very long but these are my constant thoughts that all happen at once and it feels nice to get them out to piece them together and not feel so overwhelmed with all them at one time in layers upon layers of thoughts. sometimes my vision even goes out and i dissociate and just work blurred vision cross eyed for ten minutes, who knows maybe its an hour. im back there by myself for eight hours a day idk. 
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osmw1 · 5 years
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Head Over Heels from the Scarf I Lent Her  Chapter 5—The Warm Sun, and Lunch
“So? What happened afterwards?” “What are you on about all of a sudden?”
Ōyodo Jun—my classmate who sits in front of me—leans his arm on the back of his chair and turns to me. It isn’t unusual for Jun to start rambling about something incomprehensible, but it sounds awfully as if he’s talking about Satsuki. She’s a total lifesaver for cleaning Tooru’s room. Jun lets out a dirty smirk and looks at Tooru.
“Something had to had happened, right? She’s totally fallen for you.” “What, do you think I’ve got the balls to do anything to a girl as cute as her?” “… you’re being serious. Well, I guess not.”
For some reason, Jun dejectedly pouts as he shifts his arm from the seatback to Tooru’s desk.
“What a letdown, man. You gotta get better stories to tell.” “Why do I have to make sacrifices just to amuse you?” “That’s the way how things work. Hurry up and get a girl.” “Ow, cut it out.”
Tooru pushes Jun away, who was smacking him on his head, and then places his elbows on his desk too.
“First of all, you don’t have a girlfriend either. You better check yourself first.” “Gah! Straight through the heart! You don’t mince words, do you?”
Ignoring his exaggerated reaction, Tooru instead overhears the conversation of another group.
“Didja hear about Miyamoto Amane’s little sister?” “Yeah, dude. They she’s a total babe, unlike Amane. Go hit her up.” “You crazy? I’m not about to poke the bear, thank you very much.”
Already famous on the second day of school, eh? Well, she was well-known to begin with anyway, so no surprise there. Seems like everyone is so scared of Amane that no one is willing to get close to Satsuki. That was Tooru’s plan too, but somehow things ended up this way.
Luckily, Amane is another class so Tooru hasn’t got mixed up in her business at all. Unlike Satsuki, there’s not much noteworthy about how Amane looks, save for her chest. She’s probably number one in school in that aspect. It’s a mystery what she thinks about her younger sister, but Tooru isn’t about to march up to her and ask. And why does Satsuki look so down as well? It’s gotta have something to do with her family, but she didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it. As he’s just her acquaintance, Tooru can only remain an outsider—whether for her sake or his own. Seems like Jun has overheard the other group too. Still sitting backwards on his chair, he faces Tooru.
“Must be tough then.” “It’s not too bad. We’re gonna be going home separately.” “Huh? You two are planning to meet every day?” “Ah…”
Tooru had dug his own grave and Jun has a shit-eating grin on his face.
“You’ve finally showed your true colors.” “It’s not like I’ve done any—” “Shut up! And treat me to something with your paycheck!” “What?! Why do I have to?!”
Tooru dodges Jun’s attacks and then sits back, spacing out. Satsuki’s face pops into his mind. They’re friends or something or other now, right? She’s not alone anymore like that winter day, right? His daydreams are cut short by the bell.
  Tooru always eats lunch at the same place—a sunny spot behind the school. It’s his daily routine to sit on the concrete outside of an unused classroom on the first floor. And of course, if it’s raining or snowing, he’d eat lunch inside instead.
But today, the warm spring air lulls the sandman. To have lunch while basking in the sun was Tooru’s thing and this is his place. Or was. He spots a familiar figure and waves.
“Hey, Miyamoto. Fancy meeting you here.” “Wha—?!”
Satsuki was sitting there about to open her lunch box. Her face is bright red like she was taken by complete surprise. After making sure not a single other soul was around, Tooru sits down next to Satsuki, leaving but a little room between them. On the other hand, perhaps still surprised, her face was still flushed red.
Sitting side by side again, Satsuki is small. She’s probably not even 160 cm tall. On the other hand, Tooru passed the 180 cm mark already. Sure, the average height of high schoolers is going higher and higher, but Tooru himself didn’t even think he’d grow this much.
That’s why it was natural for him to be able to look at what she has for lunch. Wieners cut into the shape of octopuses, omelette, and veggie stir-fry with a small portion of white rice. You could even say that this is the traditional Japanese packed lunch. On the other hand, Tooru’s lunch was fried chicken from the freezer section and rice. He had just had an earful from Jun, saying how he’s soon going to get fat. So, Tooru retaliated with a punch.
“Your lunch sure looks good.” “Oh, you think so?” “I’ve only got some previously-frozen chicken and rice. Probably isn’t doing my body any good.” “That’s true…”
Though he would’ve preferred her saying otherwise, Tooru relaxed after seeing Satsuki strain a laugh. He’s not sure what to make of it, but Satsuki suddenly waving her hands around.
“Umm, I would still like you even if you get a little chubbier too, though!” “Et tu, Satsuki?”
Tooru was at a loss as he opened his lunch box. Is that my future? I’m destined to be overweight? But even then, he’s busy in the morning getting ready for school and busy at night studying. He just wants to keep his grades up is all.
Still, how scary it would be to get fat before graduating. Like, actually. Not wanting him to feel down, the seemingly flustered Satsuki gives him a little fist pump.
“It’s okay. If you’re worried about it, then I’ll help you out!”
Satsuki bursts out with absolute energy. He had been hanging his head down but looks up at the girl so full of enthusiasm and responds like a burnt-out boxer.
“Support? What kind of support?” “How about making you both lunch and dinner?!” “Huh?!”
Of course, he was shocked. Not only is Satsuki bound to be busy in the morning, but wouldn’t she be like his mom packing him a lunch? He hesitates to put such a burden on her.
“No way I can do that to you…” “It would not be a big deal. If anything, it’s hard to cook just one portion, you know?”
He could only nod back. It doesn’t seem like she’s even half-joking. Tooru isn’t familiar with cooking enough to have a sense for that, but it sounds plausible.
And this would be good for his health too. Tooru could avoid the whole getting fat thing. However, he couldn’t just ask for this favor all of a sudden; it’s a lot more time and effort. Isn’t there something he could think of? Satsuki looks up at the thinking Tooru. Her youthfulness really felt like as if she were his younger sister. He’s seriously contemplating ideas, but still almost reached out to pat her head.
Needless to say, though, Tooru had neither the guts nor the feelings for her. He shakes the thought off and keeps thinking. And then, an idea, though a trivial one.
“In that case, I’ll pay you for each lunch.” “But, you’re…” “You’ll be using your own ingredients, right? It’d only be right for me to pay for my share.”
Satsuki looked like she wanted to say something, but she lets out a small breath and nods with a smile.
“Okay then, if you’re fine with that.” “Alright, it’s a plan. Thank you, Madam Miyamoto, for saving me from obesity.” “You’re exaggerating… and call me like you normally do.”
Satsuki waves her hand as if she were a little embarrassed, making him want to protect her even more. Even if she might be feeling down from her home situation, it doesn’t seem like it’s such a big deal to her.
“Anyway, shall we eat? Lunchtime is almost over.” “You’re right. I salute you, frozen food. You have served me well.” “Frozen food sure is handy.”
Tooru responds with a quipping laugh as Satsuki teases him. And then, once again, he looks at her lunch. It looked good the first time he looked, and it still looks good now. He’d love to try a bite. Seeing through him, Satsuki grabs a piece of omelette with her chopsticks and looks up at him. Her hair flows to the other shoulder.
“Want some? A taste-test.” “Uhh, you sure?” “Of course. Consider it research to see what you like.”
Oh, thank you so much. Even Tooru was doubting whether his chicken was enough for lunch.
“Oh, you don’t have to feed me it… it’s a little embarrassing.” “Oh, really?” “Aren’t you…? Anyway, you can just put it in my container and I’ll eat it myself.”
Satsuki’s face turns bright red again after hearing what he said. Then, she silently puts the egg on top of his food. So, it wasn’t on purpose yesterday after all. Tooru then looks down at the omelette.
It looks well-made and smells slightly sweet. There’s no way it won’t taste good. He opens his mouth and stuff his cheeks with the omelette. Tooru looks over to his side to find Satsuki with a nervous look on her face.
His eyes open wide.
Delicious. It’s perfectly seasoned with both salt and sugar. There’s even slight undertones of broth to it. Tooru has never had an omelette this tasty before. It’s even better than his mother’s.
“Miyamoto, this is amazing.”
He tells her with his mouth full of food and Satsuki chastises him for being improper. The tension had been completely cut and she relaxes her shoulders.
“Thank you. I’m so glad you like it.”
Her smile is as dazzling as always. Tooru didn’t think she could smile this brightly at first, but now he knows better. Swallowing his food revealed a light aftertaste of sweetness and broth. She’s even accounted for aftertaste.
“I’ve got great hopes for tomorrow’s lunch now.” “Look forward to it, okay?”
Their time together was soft and comfortable, if over too soon.
contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /next/
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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years
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gah another 5 am post eh fellas
fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now)  and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it. 
saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now. 
so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it.  i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so  i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess. 
okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have  a ballet company idk. 
all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could  be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love  a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents  and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim. 
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kvothe-kingkiller · 6 years
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When is Nephelai set?
So if youve read my story about gay scientists (first of all, thank you) you may have noticed that I never actually mention the year its set.
this is mainly because Ive seen too many things where people set a year then in that year its kinda funny to look back and see the predictions. Often people predict stuff will advance a lot faster than it does. eg 2001 a space odyssey or back to the future 2
another reason though is that a lot of the technologies available would be feasible after extremely varying time periods or would never, so far as we know, be available. So heres some of the technologies with my estimates on when they could be available, if ever.
Self driving cars- soon. probably within 50 years or so they should be kinda widespread, in the story they’re still only owned by people with a good bit of money. Id say like electric cars now
EM drive- a good bit in the future before we have one of those up and working but we have the concepts down. There is going to be a small space probe of sorts pushed by a laser that projects onto a sail, thats already planned out. EM drives will just be advancing that technology and applying it on a bigger scale.
Graphene- you can actually make graphene yourself if you take a bit of graphite (like pencil lead) and some clear tape and stick it on then peel it off. You should get a fine layer of graphite, which is graphene. However getting those layers to stick together is hard, no idea when we’ll get that done lol. but a lot of research is going into it currently
also btw I have animals that are able to make graphene from graphite and that would NEVER happen. you would need a lot of energy to do that, more than any animal can spare. 
Passenger space ships- probably going to be a good while before we get these. It took me a while to figure out how to even get passengers into space given that rockets are vertical while still maintaining a plane cabin appearance in air (or space) then how to rotate everything so centrifugal force creates a form of ‘gravity’. Anyways lets just say that itll be a while before we have this sort of infrastructure up and running.
terraforming- placing ammonia at the poles (a tactic Brenley mentions) is actually something people have considered. Same with covering a planet with dark colored extremophiles to heat it up. But we have to get to mars first... then cart a million tons of ammonia. Then we have to wait Ages as the damn thing heats up. So terraforming mars is going to take a good while, not to mention proxima centauri b (which is Salus in the story)
Beyersdorf- fucking never lmaoo. the whole concept of the beyersdorf is harnessing the power of a black hole to bend time and skip ahead. Harnessing the power of a black hole is never going to happen, or when it does we’ll be so far gone from humans we’ll be an entirely new species.
manmade wormholes- uh... see above. This is Never going to happen. I have no idea how man made tools could manipulate space like that and the whole beyersdorf wormhole thing is one of the few times in this nerd book where I wave my hands and say ‘fuck it.’
Synthesizers (aka Krupin machines)- the point of a krupin machine is that it makes cells from scratch, from the elements. Now I could maybe possibly see this working? If you did a trillion organic chem reactions. The thing is though, there are trillions of molecules in a cell and billions of cells in the body. We might be able to make like... a vacuole at some point in the future? (just a circle of cell membrane really) but anything more were either gonna need a hell of a lot of time or a way of time travel.
Cancer cure- Hopefully fairly soon in the grand scheme of things. theres some promising research in this field. In nephelai I never really explained how synthesizers cured cancer so here: basically they both make embryonic stem cells from the persons own genetic code to replace any cells lost then they engineer B and T lymphocytes to recognize the markers of a mutated cell and attack it. since the concept of a krupin machine not only includes making cells from scratch, but being able to edit the DNA like a code, then plug it into the machine and that cell is made.
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Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
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im 15 and i know you can get a licence at 14. do you have to take a test?
""In college, moving out, do i have to change my car insurance?""
ok, i am 19 i go to a college in my hometown and currently live with my parents. i am planning on getting an apartment 2nd semester and found one for 550 per month with utilities which will be divided among 3 guys. my dad says that as long as the car insurance on my car is under his name it cannot move to a different address without being under my name which jacks the price up some $1800 a year. that ends up being almost triple my rent and there is no way i will be able to afford it. apparently saying it still resides at their house is not an option although i do not see why, its less than 3 miles away. facts, suggestions, loopholes anyone??""
Car Insurance for young driver?
Hi, I'm currently doing my drivers licence and should get it by the end of next month and I'm just confused about the cost of insurance.... I'm planing to buy small Fiat which is Insurance Group 5 and I looked up for costs through money supermarket and the cheapest deal was over 9000 for a year and that's just ridiculous so I'm a bit confused about it and don't know if i did something wrong when filled the information but anyway what the average cost should be like? Thanks in advance""
Car insurance went DOWN after accident?
I was involved in a one vehicle accident and had a failure to control and hit a guardrail. I called today to get my insurance back and its lower ?? I thought it would go up? Also I ...show more
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Health insurance for seniors?
My parents are seniors now and my father doesnt work anymore but he owns a restaurant so he cant apply for Medicare.. Does anyone know how and where I can find a affordable insurance that I can have for them. They need to apply for health insurance asap because both of them have diabetes Please help me!
What are some cars with easily tunable engines and low insurance?
i need a car that i can make faster but i don't wanna pay alot f insurance. specific models please
Can anybody help me find the Greyhound Bus Auto Insurance ?
2 week ago I was in auto accident in NYC but I live in New Jersey a greyhound bus hit my parked car door as I opened it, I had a clear of view when i opened it, my car is beyond damaged (97 Honda Accord) thank god I didn't lose my hand, I finally got a official police report, I have the greyhound bus driver licence plate #'s and insurance policy #'s and the insurance code Texas Liability Insurance (not the insurance company name) I called Grey Bus company customer service and corporate office based out of Texas, both phone numbers keep giving me the run around and is a complete waste of time. I called my insurance, and they cant help me , i try google, waste of time as well, please help, all i am trying to do is file a claim and fix my car ASAP!!""
How much could motorcycle insurance be for a teen in California?
My mom has geico, how much could it possibly cost for insurance? and I'm also a good student, so can't I get the good student discount? and my mom also has a great driving record.""
Can i drive any car with insurance?
Alright I asked a question earlier and i didnt provide enough information Im 16 and my dad just got me insurance on our car, a toyota camry. He said that i can drive any other car as long as i have the insurance card of the camry, i have my 'own' car (acura) that i dont know that i can drive or not that is under my dads name.. but that car isnt under our policy. is it true that i can drive the acura with my camry's insurance?""
Cheap full coverage insurance?
My brother is buying a 2008 Kia rio 5 and has to have full coverage. He is 20 years old. Where in Kansas is a good option for affordable full coverage insurance?
California motorcycle/moped laws?
Hello, I'm moving to california from florida in a month to start college, and I intend to sell my car here and get a moped or a motorcycle over there instead to save a little money. I don't know the laws on motorcycles there? i know in florida if its less than 50cc you don't need a motorcycle license or insurance. what about california? if you need insurance how much $/year are we talking? I don't know squat about motorcycles and I've never even rode one or understood the whole gears thing. if someone could recommend a few brands or even whether to get a motorcycle or a moped/scooter (is there a diff?) i have a tight budget (1-1.5K) any advice would be awesome!!!! <3""
How much is insurance on an 89 camaro?
how much would it be a month? im 20
3 Insurance Questions for a young driver?
(What coverage package would be recommended for a young driver?) 1. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that your car is stolen? 2. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that you have an accident that is your fault? 3. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that your car is hit by an uninsured motorist?
""16 year old guys, how much do you pay in auto insurance every month?""
im tired of filling out online quote forms, just so it can tell me to call a customer service rep. i dont even have a car yet, but im planning on getting one, and im just wondering what the average for 16 year old guys is for auto insurance how much do you pay for insurance per month, how old are you, what do you drive? is it like $150, $200, $250, $300""
Would it really cost me a lot more insurance?
I have a 93 camry and I'm trying to look for a new car to replace it. I asked my insurance company about the cost of insurance for a 2009 honda civic EX sedan 4 door and it was 536 every 6 months. Researched that car more to find out it was in an accident so scratched that car out of the picture. I found a 2007 honda civic EX coupe 2 door and no accidents and i see nothing wrong with it. They are both EX but the coupe is older. Would the insurance be much of a difference?
How much will my first car and the insurance come to roughly?
i can start driving lessons in January. How much, on average, would my first car cost? and how much on average would the insurance be? Also.. What would you advise for a girls first car? :) Leave your answers below please, Thanks!xx""
Where can I get an insurance quote for my Toyota hilux?
GoCompare and other sites don't list it when I try to quote car insurance... Im in the uk
Someone hit my car...will my insurance rise?
Someone hit my car last week and got a ticket. She received a ticket. Someone also hit my car a few months ago. Their fault. Is my insurance going to go up because of this second one. I imagine it wouldn't since her insurance will take care of my car but I'm not sure.
What are the different types of life insurance?
and which ones are better to get, middle age ,non smoker""
Can i get motorcycle insurance without a license?
i live in massachusetts and was wondering if i could get insurance without having a motorcycle or car license all i have is a permit but i do not know if i can get insurance thanks
How much would it cost for insurance for a 18 year old with a 2001 toyota celica? Monthly and yearly?
In Canada not US
I am thinking of get a Honda Accord (1996-2001) in fl was wondering how much is basic inserance?
I am thinking of getting a Honda Accord between the year of 1996 and 2001 was wondering how much is it gonna cost for minimum insurance if I am 16 about to tern 17
Ive had my car insurance for a year with no claims.?
now i want to switch insurance company as new one is much cheaper. can i get a letter / email from the old one saying that ive had no claims during the year??
""How much would an insurance company give me to repair Keying damage, three hood dents, and 3 areas of chips?""
My car was badly vandalized about a month ago and i made a claim to my insurance company. I originally decided to take my car into one of their many One Stop shops, where i would only have to pay the 250 dollar deductible and have my car completely repaired. Since then i was laid of from work and have been going through alot of money trouble. I have been considering just having an adjuster come out and write a check for the damages and repair only some of the damage at a friends shop. My question is... how much would the adjuster write off for... Deep key scratches down to the metal, a line all around the car. (20 feet) Three dents on the hood (about 6in diameter) three areas that where hit, and began to chip( about 5in in diameter each) It seems desperate. I know, because i am. I would appreciate any answers, please do not judge me and this situation, i'm just curious if it would be a somewhat wise decision. If you have nothing nice to say, please refrain from commenting, im depressed enough as it is. Thanks!""
Do I need an insurance broker?
What is the role of an insurance broker, simply to find you the best insurance price without having to do it yourself? Do I need to have a broker? I ask because I am trying to lower my insurance costs, but none of the insurance companies my broker deals with can give me a price I am happy with. I have got quotes from insurance companies outside of the ones my insurance broker deals with that are much more appealing financialy. So I guess my question is do I need an insurance broker? Or can I just cancel my current insurance and start a new policy with one of these other companies who can offer me cheaper insurance. thanks""
Car insurance?576568687?
ok just wondering, why do you get pulled over for not haveing car insurance if all it does is help you out if you get into a crash, is it actually required to have it while driving? and why....""
Can a 73 year old man get life insurance for $100K? What would the approx premium be if so?
I know it would be expensive-anyone have an idea? Thanks so much!!
Car insurance pay out?
Sombody hit my car the insurance wants to pay the value of the car. I can not get another car with the small amout of the pay out
Will my insurance rate go down when I get my license? I have my learners permit?
I have my learners permit and i was paying about 120 a month in insurace, If I go get my license, will my insurance go down?""
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Which of these cars in cheapest in insurance?
Out of these 6 cars, can you list in number order from most to least expensive in car insurance? 1. Ford Mustang 2. Infiniti G35 3. Dodge Charger 4. Nissan 350Z 5. Cadillac CTS 6. BMW 3 series""
A question about car insurance in California?
The other day I recieved a letter in the mail that said I need to go get my car insured or it could be suspended. I want to get the cheapest insurance possible (state minimum). What company has the cheapest insurance and how much can I expect to pay per month?
Does anyone know any cheap car insurance companies for new drivers?
I am coming up to 19 (1 week) and have had my UK Full Manual license since December 2012, it's now May 2013. I have tried everything to find cheap car insurance online and it's virtually impossible! I don't know if it's my area that I live causing it to be so high, or my lack of experience with driving. I have tried different addresses (i.e. family members) not in to be fraudulent but to see if it is the area, which is proving to be quite true. But I've tried insurance comparison websites and asked friends who they got their insurance from and still no good. My cheapest quote is around 2,000 which I just can't afford. I am going to university in September and will be going on various placements within the weeks I am there, so a car would really help get me to places easily. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on lowering the cost of insurance, somehow? I've tried all these telematic sites but it's still too high. Also, could anyone recommend any sites I could try for my insurance quotes? N.B. I haven't purchased a car yet (as there is no point if I can't afford insurance) but is there a year which can help to lower the cost of car insurance? Such as, rather than having a 10 year old car (03 reg) having a 3-4 year old car? Any specific year? Thanks very much.""
How much money do i need to save up for my first 6 months of insurance?
I will be 16 or 17 at the time of receiving car insurance and right now I am 15. This summer i will be getting a job and will buy my own cell phone and pay my own cell phone bill($130 for the phone $42 for the total bill). Let's say I receive minimum wage ($7.25) and am payed around $800 a month. If I begin putting aside money out of each pay check ( which will be roughly around $400) for car insurance and do this for around 12 months how much money will i need to put aside out of each paycheck ($400) to be able to pay for 6 months of car insurance? Also, my mom is going to let me buy her car in payments (at most it will cost $2000 altogether), how much should I put aside for that, so i would be able to buy her car at one time in 12 months?""
Is it cheaper on insurance to make payments on a car or buy it straight out?
Is it cheaper on insurance to make payments on a car or buy it straight out?
How can i find the lowest car insurance rate for my car?
How can i find the lowest car rate for my car All the insurance companies advertise they have the lowest
Is there a motorcycle insurance company that lets you have full coverage during the summer months?
and limited coverage during the winter months? I live in NY so naturally, I wouldn't be driving during the winter months, so why pay full? Thanks""
Insurance Rates Of Past Years For Different Genders?
I am doing a data analysis project and i would like to find average insurance rates in canada or the states from the 1900s till present for different genders. I cant seem to find any statistics for the insurance rates at all. helpppppp : (
Please help with this health insurance problem...?
As an immigrant to the US with no job or citizenship, only holding an American Visa, and in a month to have a Green Card, what can you tell me about getting a health insurance? any information available and any websites please.""
""Insured car, uninsured driver?""
I have a free-loading bother in-law and I was just wondering. If he uses the family car which is insured but he does not have car insurance, can he be liable in any accident situation? Please tell me yes, so I have a reason to refuse my car to him. Anything from if he is at fault or not at fault, injury, coverage, or settlements... Thanks""
How much are typical monthly home owners insurance rates?
i am doing a school project and the only way to figure it out is to call and talk to a reprisentitive, and i would really rather not. I just need a ballpark figure... $500? $1000? any ideas?""
How much cheaper is health insurance in Texas?
Does anyone have data, did Tort reform lower health insurance costs? I mean isn't texas having a surplus or perhaps a surge of doctors since passing such law? Let's prove to the liberals this works by using the facts for a change.""
I'm planning on getting affordable coverage for my dog. what would be best recommended?
okay well the question explains most of it. I'm currently doing some research on what company has the most afforable coverage for my dog. But there is so many to chose from: ...show more
What should an 18-21 year old pay for motorcycle insurance? liability only?
if i were to get a motorcycle i would have to pay the insurance and i would like to know the cheapest but smartest way to do it.
How to provide proof of auto insurance?
How to provide proof of car insurance? I have been offered a generous stipend for graduate school. One of the documents they ask for is proof of car insurance. Does anyone know how I can provide proof of car insurance? (I know for a fact that my parents have bought car insurance). It would be helpful to know what document I should be looking for, what it looks like, is it just my AAA card or is it a form. Thanks a lot for your help!!""
What would happen to my dad's insurance?
My friend was driving my car and he has no insurance when we got pulled over. The cop asked for license and registration. My friend gave his license, but he gave my insurance information and my registration information (which is under my dad's). Would we get penalized for it? Would my dad's insurance rate go up?""
""No license, but yes insurance?""
What happens if you drive a car that does have insurance but you don't have a license, and, lets say you crash.""
Does anyone know of any life insurance companies that will let you take out a term life policy for one age 69?
My grandfather and I are really close. He keeps telling me that he wants me to get a insurance policy on him which makes me feel bad, because I get the feeling there's something else serious he is not telling me. If something happens to him I don't want to be in a situation where I can't afford to bury him & I know that that type of stuff is important to get taken care of. I have checked into it a little bit online, but from what I have read & been told....when someone is over the age of 65, life insurance companies will not let you get a term policy for someone that age. My grandfather is 69 years old and will be 70 yrs old this month. I really don't have a whole lot of money to pay for whole life insurance & believe that I can only afford to get a term life insurance policy. The problems I think I am going to have is that he smokes & is 69 yrs old. Does anyone know of any good insurance companies that will let me get term life insurance on him being that he is already 69 and smokes?""
Dodge Charger Insurance?
I am 16 years old and I am about to get my license and I was wondering how much the cheapest insurance for a dodge charger would be a month! Please no comments saying that I shouldnt start of with the charger, but its just my aunt said she would give me hers that way my parents wouldnt have to buy me a car (shes giving it to me for free) We would just have to be responsible for insurance and any problems the car would have in the future. Im in the L.A area""
How do I go about getting car insurance?
I'm 19, my car insurance now is under my parents name and they pay for it. I want to by a Mustang and I want to pay for the insurance myself. So do I go see an agent? Or do it online? I tried to get a quote online and I'm not sure how to answer certain questions.....I DID get in an accident 3 years ago but my insurance company never caught me on it, so will they find out if I try to get my own insurance now? Should I use a different company to not get caught and have to pay higher rates?""
""Wrecked best friends car, no license, I'm uninsured, 18 and terrified! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!?""
So, I am 18, and yesterday my cousin was planned to come in from the UK at the Sky Harbor Airport in, Arizona. On my way there I was driving at a close speed limit of 50, speed limit was 45, approaching a red light, I was slowing down, when something abruptly ran across the road, close to the car, causing me to slam on the breaks, losing control of the wheel, and I tumbled 4 times over the street, busting the side window, scraping some paint, and cracking the windshield. Thankfully, I was not hurt, no neck, back, leg, or any body injuries for that matter. The police was near by, so helped me out, firefighters took care of me, to make sure I was okay. And then the report happened. I told them the honest truth, they said that I won't be arrested, or given a ticket, but I do have to go to court to prove I had no insurance. I don't know what to do, I know it was completely idiotic driving without a license, and no permit, with no insurance, but my friend has insurance on the car. I have the police report, and I don't know what I have to do, but I will help him with anything as this is my best friend, and I am not straying away from this situation. Will his insurance cover this? Do I look okay is this situation? PLEASEEEE! Someone help me! I'm desperate for advice, I've definitely learned my lesson, and I have no family here in Arizona as they are all in Georgia, I am here for school at ASU, please tell me his insurance will cover this!""
Were would i find price range for car insurance?
im doing a power point on insurance and i need to find the best price range for car insurance
I have 1 pt on my license for drive at a speed not reasonable and prudent how much insurance rate will i pay?
I pay a high rate now for 1pt for just liability and they told me it can be really 4 pt is that true? What should my rate be for 1pt
Car insurance lapsed in CT what would be the steps to reregister car & get insurance?
Do i need to contact an insurance company first or the DMV?
Collector Car insuance for 17 year old? Possible?
My 17 year old son wants collector car insurance for his 67 Chevelle that he heavily modified and uses it only for hobby and pleasure. He puts 4,000-4,300 miles a year. We live in California and were wondering if there was a collector car insurance like hagerty, american car collector, etc. that would cover a 18 year old or younger? Any Possible plans? Thanks. PS. He locks it up in our secure garage.""
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Prelude vs Subaru on Insurance ?
Which one is typically cheaper? Between a 97 - 01 Prelude and a 00' Subaru 2.5rs Iv heard prelude insurance is expensive. I know wrx insurance is insanely high but im thinking the 2.5rs must be cheaper since its not turbo'ed.
Would this affect my car insurance?
Would having Grand Theft Auto on my record increase my insurance, or would it do anything at all? Its a really long story. I know my insurance is going to be high anyway because I am 17 and a guy. I was just wondering if having a Grand Theft Auto charge would affect it at all? Thanks!""
Car insurance coverage question...?????
I have state farm. there's an expectation of a severe storm with softball size hail heading our metroplex. I'm in the middle of switching car insurance. The coverage will expire april 10, 2008. Will state farm covers me if I have hail damage on the same day it's expired?""
Why is car insurance so higher in UK than other countries?
In my home country, I did not even think about car insurance cost when I bought a car. It was just a small amount of money. In UK, when I try to buy a cheap secondhand car, the insurance cost higher than the car price. 2002 Nissan Primera cost 900 pounds while insurance quoted me 1169 pounds for that car. Why insurance cost more than the car price? I am not intending to claim by knowing the amount of excess money (higher than the car price) I have to pay in the first place if I want to claim.""
How much would i pay for car insurance? Estimate?
I know that it depends on a lot of factors but can you estimate how much i would pay for car insurance on a monthly basis - I am 18 years old - will be driving either a 1999 or 2000 model - will be attending college after the summer - clear background - this will be my first car - I live in a very wired and exotic place called MARYLAND
What is the best way to use technology in comparing insurance premiums for MEDICARE costing?
Many of the baby boomer generation will shortly be reviewing insurance costs for our retirement years - health, medical, prescription and the like. We will need to make decisions based upon retirement income and expenses. I have done some preliminary research and it appears I need to do a lot more. The data for health and medical costs is easily available however there is a ton of it. For this reason, I intend to use spreadsheets to crunch through this and any other tech tool I can locate. One of the problems with this approach is that just about every quote is proprietary, that is each quote has its own bells and whistles which make it more or less expensive than the next company. Although I have spreadsheet skills, I can visualize that any template I make must provide for more assumptions than I want to make. From the above it's clear to me that I need some kind of generic (FREE) spreadsheet template that is not proprietary, combines monthly income and expense (insurance premiums counted as expenses), is not locked in terms of making formula adjustments, and has the ability to forecast. If this is as clear as mud to you, welcome to the crowd. Surely, there are fill in the blanks templates dealing with MEDICARE comparative cost determination. If there are and you are aware of them, please let me know. I would be in your debt. Regards, Rich F. Florida""
How much would insurance cost for a 2011 mustang v6?
I am 18 years old, I currently have an 03 Tacoma 4 door Prerunner and my current insurance rate is around $210 a month. I live in Louisiana, I average around a 3.0 GPA and I have saved up and I am really close to owning a 2011 mustang and I was curious if someone could give me an estimate on around how much the insurance might cost. Thanks""
2 questions on car insurance?
1) I'm looking to buy a car soon after I pass my driving test in 2 weeks. I'm 20, I'll be turning 21 in November. I seen that the insurance price for a 17-20 year old is around 2400 and the price for a 21-24 year old is around 2000. If I were to get insurance 2 months before my 21st birthday, would I be able to pay 2 monthly rates of the 17-20 year old price and then convert onto the 21-24 year old price? Or am I stuck with the 20 year old price for one year? 2) If I were to set the voluntary excess to a higher amount to get a lower premium, would I be able to change the voluntary excess when I renew my car insurance? Or is it possible to change it every month if I chose to pay monthly? Thanks.""
Need help with car insurance!!?
i am new with the whole car insurance thing so i need help. how much is car insurance for an 18 year old just got my licenses and with a 1996 pontiac sunfire SE..how do you pay for car insurance please help thanks
Did you get Affordable Health Care?
My husband & I have insurance & it didn't change but my daughter & family got Affordable HC. Their previous insurance was $1,200 a month. They are now paying $325 so there's was a very positive experience. We're in California. They had a really hard time getting into the wed site but persevered & are happy with the plan. It covers their eldest son who is in college & has Type I diabetes & their youngest son who suffers from asthma. Does anyone else on YA have a positive experience to share? What State are you from.""
How much is car insurance usually?
and what makes it change? car type and age of owner?
How much a rental house property insurance should cost?
I rented a house and the mortgage company says I need to have rental insurance. I do not want to cover my tenants stuff, just the house in Nevada. Thanks""
How long does it take for car insurances to determine fault?
I got into an accident a few days ago. It's pretty cut and dry that it was the other persons fault, however the police don't determine fault and leave it up to the insurance companies to figure out. Those who have been in a similair situation, how long from the time of the accident did it take for your insurance company to find fault in the accident. I'm curious because I'm having to pay a $1000 deductible and car rental fees. I want to make sure I get it back if its the other persons fault.""
How much roughly would car insurance cost for a 17 year old new driver in the uk?
about what price would a 1.4l engine cost for a female 17 year old cost? is a 1.4l engine too large? the car that my grandad is interested in buying me is a 3dr 2007 1.4l polo. is this suitable for a new driver?? any answers would be really helpful thankyou x
Car insurance for a 17 year old?
Hi, ive just passed my driving test and now want a car. The plan was to buy a clio/corsa/punto as i thought they were cheap insurance. When i put them into car insurance comparers though its coming out at like 2500. Even thought im a lad i though it would be cheaper than this. Can anyone suggest where to go to get cheap car insurance or what car to buy were its cheap insurance or any tips any information is helpful thanks a lot xx""
How much would my insurance be?
I am 15, i took driver's training when i was 14. and I just got my license. i was wondering how much it would be to insure a ford focus. I get good grades, about a 3.5 gpa so i dont know if that will help lower my insurance.""
Can I remove 17 yr old off my insurance policy if not driving my car at all?
Long story short (hopefully)...My 17 yr old step-son got his license just after his b-day last yr and my husband stupidly bought him an undeserved car (we have had nonstop issues with him for over 2 yrs with his disrespectful and insulting/criticizing attitude, refusing to follow house rules, his very poor, negative and selfish behavior on top of his constant lies and his drug and alcohol use and continues to bring it around my 4 yr old son). Needless to say after receiving 4 tickets under 6 months for either having too many kids in car or driving past allowed hours to be driving because he refuses to follow our rules or the law and feel they do not apply to him. He completely trashed the car, it reeked of cigarettes and pot, we found empty beer cans and other cans used to smoke his pot. We took the car away and cleaned it the best we could and after a few months of him still continuing his behavior and habits we sold the car. He bullies his mom and sister (always has) and took his moms keys and her car from her and will not return it. I know we are legally responsible for him until he turns 18 which isn't too much longer BUT he is getting worse with everything, my husband has given up on him and just lets him come and go as he pleases and do what he wants (he claims he will kick him out on his bday but no one believes him b/c of many past threats not followed through and his kids know it so they continue to play him), I'm told to stay out of it because he isn't my son yet he is still on MY insurance and driving his mom's car while drinking and smoking pot and continuing not to follow the law with his restrictions either. I can't wait for this ungrateful punk to be out of my house. He constantly badmouths all of us with lies to everyone and blames us when things don't go his way. He has always been extremely lazy and does not want to work, he keeps forcing his mom to give him money which she does b/c she claims she is afraid of him, he has NEVER helped with anything around the house, he has already been in trouble a few times with the police as young as 12 when he wouldn't follow skateboarding rules. This kid needs a major attitude adjustment and a kick in the *** but no one will do it and I'm not allowed to say anything to him about anything but I'm so sick and tired of having to keep my mouth shut and watch everything he says and does to his family yet I am to provide insurance for this a@%hole. He's not supposed to be driving anyone's car but he took his mom's and won't give it back to her, he lives with us even though he is NEVER here (DYFS took the kids away from their mom about 4 yrs ago and placed them with us immediately) (oh, the issues have been going on a lot longer than these 4 yrs but not to this degree). By the time we file and the court allowed for emancipation he will be 18 so that is no use. He HAS to live with us until then but I don't want my insurance going up anymore than it has and want him off of it. He refuses to hand over his license too. I am at my wits end with this kid and don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any ideas on any loopholes on how to get him off my insurance? If we force him to stay here he gets violent toward everyone, constantly picks fights with all of us, storms around the house cursing and complaining, slamming everything, purposely makes messes and leaves it until he gets his way and I definitely do not want that behavior around my son. My husband has told him he is no longer a part of our family and it doesn't faze him at all and he just does not care about anyone but himself. Please no criticizing me. I have been his step-mom for almost 10 yrs now and have never been allowed to discipline my husband's kids at all and always told to not get involved in anything b/c they are not my kids yet they both walk all over their dad (and their mom), are spoiled rotten, no responsibilities or chores at all and never any consequences when they do something wrong. For those of you who actually read all of this thank you. Yes, I am venting but really need it and this still is not the whole story but it's too much to go into.""
A Lady hit my car and we decided not to go through our insurance...?
I told her i would call her as soon as i had a estimate on how much it was going to be. This happened back in april but i have been so busy with work and school to be able to get this done, now that i have the time i want to call her and let her know, but i am afraid it might be too late.. Is it to late?? I have all her info except her insurance info (I know bad me but i was nervous) Also im going to need a car rental is that part of what she should pay me?""
Homeowners Insurance in Florida?
I am looking to buy a house for the first time. Insurance seems high in Florida. Does anyone know what a possible insurance price would be for an 1800 sqft ranch with a pool? I have seen over 2200 a year!
What happens when you don't pay cancellation costs for car insurance?
Un-named popular car insurance provider added my 22-yr old son to my policy without my permission. Said it was done internally, couldn't take him off policy. So I canceled. I should say that before I called to cancel this policy, I started a new policy w/ a local company. Progressively, I received a bill for cancellation costs of $120.00. What happens if I don't pay?""
Question about state farm auto insurance?
My payment was due on the 1st, and now it's the fifth. I just paid it today through online banking. The bank says it may not be processed until tuesday, but i have to get to work before then. Am i fine, since it was technically paid today, or am I just f*cked?""
Switching car insurance providers?
am i able to switch car insurance providers before my year is up? i have 8 months left but i have had a cheaper quote elsewhere which saves me 900 a year!
Car Insurance Question?
I'm a 16 year old girl with a car, and I wanted to know how much my car insurance price will range in. I'll be driving a white sedan (say a Corolla/Mazda 3, 2005-2007). How much will be my car insurance?""
Do I need Car Insurance to drive with a learners permit?
i live in Pennsylvania, i was told that i do not need car insurance to drive with a learners permit and i am 16. can anybody confirm, disprove, and/or explain more in depth?""
Illegal car insurance?
My EX boyfriend went behind mine and my moms back and illegal put insurance on his car in my mothers name. I guess he knows a employee at a insurance automotive and illegally put it in her name without her consent. His friend who was driving the car hit some car today and called my mom and told her everything and now she wants to claim fraud. Who gets in trouble? My ex boyfriend for doing it illegally? The employee who let it happen? His friend who hit the car? Or my mom because they may not believe he did it illegally? BTW; my ex boyfriend owes money to his insurance thats why he couldnt put it in his name
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
Ragland Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 35131
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