#it really makes me wanna throw up sometimes

[nmbrtobio]

sunaxreader

fluff, angst.

********•********•*********•*********•**********

you’re staring at him.

he’s across the cafeteria laughing with his friends being happy like nothing had happened ever since you guys broke up a two months ago.

you can’t get over him. you can’t get over this brown hair, his eyes, the hoodie he’s wearing right now. the one that he gave you. he’s not wearing the necklace you gave him a year ago on his birthday, he’s probably wearing some other chain around his neck.

you wish he texted you. you wished that he’ll make eye contact with you right now.

sometimes you swear you feel his eyes on you but when you try to meet his, his back is facing towards you.

the boy you loved, and that you think loved you, is acting like nothing happened.

“y/n cmon we gotta get to class!” your friend yelled at you, and you nodded not looking away from suna. as you stand up and look up at him one more time you guys make eye contact.

one second. two seconds. three seconds. four-

your friend yanked you away and atsumu got in sunas way. you felt a pain in your chest. and hate, because that’s the first time he’s looked at you since these past two months.

———————————————————————

you went to a club with your four friends, all dressed in pretty skin tight dresses, and all dolled up. you’re wearing the black dress suna loved on you. you didn’t do it on purpose, your friends picked it out for you.

tonight you just wanna drink though and feel something, anything. maybe cause of the alcohol stored here, or for the cute looking guys around here. maybe someone.

you’re currently now on the bathroom counter kissing… what was his name again? you weren’t sure, but you weren’t turned on by this, or weren’t interested, and didn’t feel anything. he’s kissing down your neck and he made it down to your collarbone, before you made an excuse to walk away, “hey we should do this another time you know? my friends are looking for me it’s an emergency.” he looked bummed out but he let you go.

you went to the bar, and had a drink after drink, and now on the dance floor with your girls, laughing and having fun. you’re head is pounding a bit but it’s no big deal, you’re still having fun. but now you have to go to the bathroom and throw up.

“hey i’ll be right back.”

your speed walking to the bathroom now, and suna just keeps popping back up in your head. when you guys would go to parties together and dance with him and the others, or you’ll be dancing and he’ll make sure no one will come your way. or like when you drank to much he’ll hold your hair when you threw up.

it’s all coming out of you as your leaned over the toilet, throwing it all up. and now your crying, because you missed suna and he acted like everything was fine today, because he’s not here to hold your hand, or watch you as you dance, and maybe because he’s not here as your date, and not the guy you make out with in the bathroom.

your balling your eyes out, and there’s snot coming out your nose. your mascara is running down and your wiping your tears that’s repeatedly going down.

and all of a sudden your phone is in your hands, and you click on sunas contact.

ring…

ring…

ri-

there’s silence.

“hello?” you sniffle and start sobbing harder, cause you missed his voice so much.

sniff, “hi rin.” it just comes out so naturally.

“you know rin, i’m at a club, and i really miss you- likeim crying- i’m crying next to a toilet, because i miss you isn’t that funny?” your words are a little slurred. “rin i miss you. i fucking haye you i don’t get it why-why did you have to leave me. i could hate you but i can’t i can’t hate you, why do you act like nothing happened to us like we were never deeply in love.”

suna on the other line is still quiet.

“you know- i miss you, i miss us. please suna i can’t do this without you suna.”

“i love you y/n.” now your crying even more and suna hears you throwing up in the back, crying again right after, “where are you baby?” he says as you hear his car keys and the sound of his front door closing.

“you still have my location.” you say as you begin wiping the tears again. “suna don’t leave me please i’m not ready. you’re still always in my mind.”

“are you in love with anyone else? cause i’m not in love with anyone else, and what’s so fucking crazy is that it’s always been you.” your words are getting more slurred and your getting tired. “i’m almost there, can you walk out to the front for me? or do you need help?”

you slowly start getting up still having tears rolling down, and say yes. you walk out of the stalls with your heels in your hands and head outside, and you sit on the steps waiting for suna. he’s speaking to you but you fell asleep as soon as you sat down and leaned against the wall.

Sunas pov

Suna reached the club and saw you lying against the wall sitting on the steps. he hangs up the phone and rushes out of the car. he missed you so much.

he walked over to your sleepy body and woke you up, “cmon just walk to the car for me. i’ll hold you up.” you slowly opened your eyes and saw suna, “hi my love” saying in a whisper. and then your crying, again. he smiles and helps you up to walk towards his car, “please don’t leave me again, i’ll be lonely.”

as much as he doesn’t want to, he has to. it hurts his heart so much, that when he’s looking at you you’re never looking back at him, how he misses your hair, your eyes, your voice. he’ll say everything he wants to tonight, because he knows you’ll forget it the next morning. “i wish i could bring you everywhere with me y/n, and i wish you could love yourself the way i do. maybe once we both learn to put away our pride and learn how to communicate, i’ll run back to you. i always will.”

“to answer your question from earlier, no. i haven’t loved someone else because i still look for you through a crowd of hundreds of people. sometimes i still even check if you come to my volleyball games, even when you are there, i think your there for me and not for sakusa.”

he puts you in the passenger seat, and drives you home.

you forget everything the next morning, and suna told sakusa what happened. what you think happened last night is that you drank too much and you called sakusa to come get you.

.•.•.•.•…•.•.•..••..•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•..•.•.•.•.•••…

i did not go over this, so there may be some spelling mistakes and bad grammar. should i make a part two?

-nmbrtobio

[vers-1]

I’m so angry. I can’t for the life of me understand why people do terrible things.

I see these pictures and now that I kno, it’s just disgusting and I wish I finished the job. I wish I did so much worse. I wish you suffered more

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[foxgloveinspace]

I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.

[scattered-winter]

every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3

[stellacadente]

sometimes i think i'll never heal from my trauma

[pardonmydelays]

heyyy guess what

[ofallthingsnasty]

As someone who has a very 'laissez-faire' style when it comes to clothing, there is something so special about a yandere dressing you up, molding your appearance so that there is no doubt you're the perfect fit. I barely throw my outfits together, even when I go out for the night, how exciting would it be to have it all match? From the underwear to jewelry, daywear to sleepwear- if they care enough, you’ll have a special outfit for every single outing they could take you to (if you aren’t stuck in the basement until further notice, that is). Doesn't matter if they're more on the stylish side like Mirko and Hawks or prim and proper like Nighteye or Overhaul. Especially with someone who has the means to splurge on you and will do so with glee. Sure, some hold it over your head that you need a new coat - but some will find nothing but utter delight in treating you like their little dress-up doll. After all, there is the matter of you trying on every single garment and them being able to either ogle you shamelessly- or downright grope you, obviously finding faults with how the fabric fits around your shoulders, ass, legs.

One might just enjoy seeing you squirm around while you’re ordered to twirl and twist, another genuinely gushes over how good you look. One takes pride in having everything match with them, the other might try to veer your style into something entirely unexpected, might try to turn you into their perfect fantasy. And then you have the ones who either don’t care for getting you clothes or simply can’t afford a huge wardrobe. For them, keeping you naked or minimally clothed is an option as well, one that might be just perfect.

[pekodayz]

ig another reason why i dont rly post that much abt aini and oso

[vulpinesaint]

throws a book at the wall i'm SO fucking tired of putting emotional effort into relationships only for it not to be reciprocated

[skitskatdacat63]

Why do I say things like this. Like what was the need. Why do I feel the need to jinx myself. What was the reason.

[todayisafridaynight]

I gotta be honest I’ve been trying to stay away from rggtwt both because of the unnecessary beef and also because of the rampant whitewashing that seems exclusive to Twitter

Like I know it’s a problem with every fandom but I can’t help but scream every time i see shishido and co lookin absolutely ghostly

funnily enough twitter had been relatively lax on drama as of late, only recently it's been starting up again (tho ig thats cause of the release of gaiden and LAD8 interviews dropping that peple are given reasons to talk bout the games)

[redphrite]

the only times ive ever been sad about being a trans girl is when im playing tf2 and it get incredibly homoerotic in the voicechat. i want to join them so badly but i am A GIRL. and cannot "dudes rock" with them

[melto]

just got so weird and insecure on an irl ive had for years bc ive been avoiding showing them toku and gay media like i said i would bc im so inherently embarrassed about my interests and can vividly remember every time since i was a child when people would tell me im weird or that i seem like a freak on paper

[bisaster-energy]

genuinely i think we should mind our own business

[roostertuftart]

Look I dont think youre wrong about people not listening to jewish voices but I am uncomfortable with you advocating so strongly for some groups while being shitty with others like when you liked a post by a racist justifying their use of the nword in the past and never talked about it. Jewish people need to be spoken for but how you pick and choose is suspicious and you cant expect other people to admit their biases when you cant admit your own.

??? Are you seriously trying to say that my concern for someone who was clearly in the midst of a mental breakdown makes it so that I can't support another person trying to speak about how depictions of a character are somewhat problematic???? This is. pathetic but thanks for trying to word it in the most uncharitable way possible lol.

edit: god i definitely worded these tags aggressively so I'm probably gonna make a real apology though I'm not even certain I did what anon is accusing me of??? either way my aggression is more towards them for trying to twist this situation so grossly and not towards anyone genuinely affected by whatever I apparently did (And I am not denying I did... I genuinely don't remember but like... Yeah it was definitely not great on my part if I did what they're saying even if my intentions were different, and the fact that I'm unsure is evidence enough to me that I might have)

Moreover, i have a hunch this anon has sent me bait before and I think it's nasty they're trying to twist an issue about antisemitism into whatever stupid beef they have with me. like... nasty.

Final edit: Any more asks from this anon are being deleted. I wouldn't have even published this one but I feel like that would be sort of hiding any wrongdoing i may have done at any point, but I genuinely do not believe this person means anything they're saying and are only doing this because for whatever reason they do not like me. and I. do not care lol