#it seems like an interesting enough story to be worth actually exploring

[qiu-yan]

2 and 21 for mdzs please?

sorry for the wait!

choose violence ask game

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

in terms of "compelling" arguments, i've got nothing. in terms of bullshit arguments i pulled out of my ass, though....

of course, the easy way out is to argue that jiang cheng is asexual and therefore would never come into sexual contact with anyone. an equally easy way out is to argue that jiang cheng is so rizzless that, even if he wanted to top or bottom, no one would do it with him....that's the easy way out of this question, though.

my own opinion is that, if jiang cheng were attracted to men and/or had a partner who was into pegging, he would have way too much internalized homophobia to give bottoming a try. even if he somehow got over himself enough to admit that he was into men (already impossible), he would still buy into the ancient-greek school of thought on homosexuality, wherein "ackshually it's only gay if you're on the bottom." he would be fully convinced that, if he were to bottom - and worse, if he were to enjoy it - he would become Less Man on an existential level. this would absolutely kill him inside, would make him actively more homophobic than if he were just straight or asexual, and would make him a nightmare for any other man to hook up with.

but of course, the more you adamantly refuse to even consider something - the more you fear something, in other words - the more you end up obsessing over it. if jiang cheng were actually hooking up with men in this scenario (entirely possible because he's like 6ft tall and probably can host because he's rich, which makes him a prime catch in the eyes of like 90% of grindr), he would adamantly refuse to bottom. he'd declare himself a hard top. but would he actually enjoy himself? or would he, as he topped in a lackluster manner whichever men were unfortunate enough to give him a chance, imagine himself in their position - first with disgust, as he told himself he was different than them; then with terror, as he feared that he might one day end up in their position; and then with something else?

because jiang cheng's fear - that he might one day bottom and enjoy it - would quickly mutate into a full-on psychosexual obsession with the concept of bottoming itself. because it's repression king jiang cheng we're talking about, said obsession would eventually become one of those things you're so afraid of that your fear ends up wrapping back around and turning into a fetish. because it's jiang cheng we're talking about, this would then lead to him actually bottoming one day. and then, because it's jiang cheng we're talking about and the universe hates him, he would actually end up enjoying it.

does his mindset change? maybe. or maybe he just becomes Worse.

i feel like i've ended up doing the opposite of answer the question.....sorry.....these are my honest thoughts, though.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

i'm going to get killed for this, but that's the purpose of this ask game, so i'll be honest....."lan wangji as Love Interest." of course, by this i do not mean to say "lan wangji himself." rather, what i mean is the way in which lan wangji is a "love interest" first and a "character" second. in my view, the story is only really interested in lan wangji as "the guy who loves wei wuxian and is unquestioningly devoted to him," rather than interested in lan wangji as a character in his own right.

of course, the story spills a lot of ink on how much lan wangji loves wei wuxian, how much lan wangji has sacrificed for wei wuxian, how unquestioningly devoted lan wangji is to wei wuxian, and so on. and while this is all true and good, in my view, there are also several other interesting angles in lan wangji's story worth exploring. however, these angles instead seem rather neglected by the story, which appears to only want to discuss "lan wangji's devotion to his One True Love."

some angles i consider to be interesting, and which i felt like went underexplored in canon:

how much of lan wangji's support of wei wuxian is because he believed wei wuxian was right, and how much of it is because he loves wei wuxian and does not want to lose wei wuxian again? where does lan wangji's personal romantic love end and his moral compass begin? the novel equates [standing with wei wuxian] with [being righteous], but it is exceedingly easy to design a situation where the morally righteous path entails sacrificing wei wuxian in some way - how would lan wangji behave in such a situation? if wei wuxian himself had not protected the wen remnants (due to canon divergence or whatever), would lan wangji have spoken up for the wen remnants?

to what degree does lan wangji agree with wei wuxian's actions and consider said actions to be morally justified? comparatively, to what degree does lan wangji consider wei wuxian's actions to be morally questionable, and simply wants to shoulder wei wuxian's sins with him out of love? does lan wangji know and/or believe that wei wuxian killing jin zixuan was a genuine accident? if he does not know, does he care?

what does lan wangji's relationship with his family look like? on one hand, in his failed bid to save wei wuxian, he injured 33 of his own sect's elders, which under confucian principles is a massive wrongdoing. have the injuries of these elders healed? does lan wangji feel guilty? on the other hand, lan wangji's family betrayed both him and the moral principles they espoused, by first nearly whipping lan wangji to death and then joining the first siege of the burial mounds. does lan wangji resent his family for this? does he resent lan xichen and lan qiren, or does he understand that they had argued the punishment down from execution? is that why, after lan xichen's world shattered at the guanyin temple in yunping, lan wangji was able to immediately leave the premises with wei wuxian in tow, without once checking in on his brother?

what does lan wangji think of his late parents? does he want to know why his mother killed his father's teacher, or would he rather not know? does his family keep the knowledge from him, or does he avoid the knowledge himself? what does he think of his father's actions - to him, is his father someone who fell from the path of duty and righteousness for the sake of love, someone who selfishly abandoned his duties and forced his responsibilities onto his younger brother, and/or someone who imprisoned lan wangji's mother against her will and perhaps even forced himself onto her? does lan wangji know whether or not he was conceived consensually? does this bother him?

given the whole history of lan wangji's parents, how does lan wangji view his own, how should i say, sexual interests? lan wangji did once pin down a struggling wei wuxian and forcibly kiss him; would lan wangji make a connection between the nonconsensual nature of this deed and the imprisonment of his mother? furthermore, wang and xian's relationship postcanon seems to have an element of d/s and noncon roleplay to it (which i'm not judging them for, good for them); would that also remind lan wangji of how his father and his father's sect brought about the imprisonment of his mother? or are these two separate things entirely?

in my view, these are all highly interesting aspects of lan wangji's story - and all of these are implied by details given in canon. however, canon shirks discussing these aspects of lan wangji's character in favor of focusing on him as the Male Lead: rather than explore any of these angles, which would further define lan wangji as a person, canon seems far more interested in single-mindedly focusing on how sad lan wangji was that wei wuxian died, how tragic the loss of his One True Love was, and how wholeheartedly happy lan wangji is now that wei wuxian has come back and returns his feelings.

to me, it feels like this guy got sanded down from a "full individual" to a "love interest." it feels to me like the story gives us some details about lan wangji's own life, but then nonetheless insists on reducing him from a person in his own right to a satellite that revolves around wei wuxian (the story's real favorite). because of this, MDZS the novel read as less the wei wuxian and lan wangji story, and more the Wei Wuxian story starring Wei Wuxian, in which lan wangji is a love interest first and a person second.

i forget if i said this before or if i read it from someone else's blog, but it does feel like, if you want to love lan wangji on his own, you have to do a lot of the heavy lifting yourself. or at the very least scrub all the male lead energy off of him first, so that the individual underneath can be revealed.

[seeminglyseph]

So. I'm watching a playthrough of Silent Hill: The Short Message. And I've seen the Jimquisition episode about it, and a handful of critiques about it first, and having seen the trainwreck that was the first attempt made at a Silent Hill return, and my overall animosity towards Konomi as a brand, I was fully keyed up to be all negativity all the time against The Short Message.

But, it may be my Bias as someone who like. dropped out of high school due to bullying and Girl World and the way some friendships can form unholy triads that will fully destroy each other with jealousy and insecurity. (I have been in multiple Triad friend groups and either been the third wheel or accidentally instigated and insecurity uprising by joining a stable duo and throwing off the groove. I am not saying "three's a crowd" is a valid mindset. but when you have three insecure and unstable people trying to make sure they're still special and important to each other. It can become a volatile mess of feelings especially for teenagers and pre-teens. This isn't some sort of commentary on Poly relationships. It's a commentary on my specific experiences with insecurity)

When I was in Jr High I had a teacher who referred to the group of friends I was in as "the witches of eastwick" which given the movie is a year older than I am and a 14A slightly raunchy comedy I'm not sure if it was the most appropriate joke. But c'est la vie. The point is, I feel like I can definitely like. Understand the concept of Short Message a little more than some.

Along with the concept of growing up somewhere that feels fully hopeless. My parents never put money away for me for University, but constantly talked about how I needed to plan for university. But also where I lived cut funding to a lot of stuff that wasn't trades related because Alberta decided the most important things locally were Oil and Trades. (and then the oil industry kinda shut down locally due to trade deals and people throwing hissy fits over elections, which fucked our local economy but I won't go into that) I had to go to work 20 hours a week minimum while going to school, which did damage to my grades, which effected my options, which pissed off my family, which left me feeling hopeless about even the chances of going to any University. I was put in classes above my ability because "that's what you need to be able to have a future" while destroying my body early working long hours and failing those classes because I had bullying, abuse, work and high stress toxic friendships to balance along with Universities that didn't really offer any options that would give me a future that wouldn't give me more of the same. And eventually I broke under the pressure and I got a high school diploma through continued education courses but never officially "graduated."

My body is permanently damaged in multiple ways from the stress and strain of trying to balance everything in that world. I have over 100 self harm scars from cutting and burning myself. My pelvis is permanently deformed due to Ankylosing Spondylitis, and standing for hours and hours and hours as my body developed. My hips used to dislocated with such a startling ease that I would be bed ridden for months and months on end in the worst agony. It's an autoimmune disease it's not going away, and the damage that was done overworking myself is never being undone. One of my eyes is permanently damaged and cannot be repaired. I carry stress in serious damage to my body in multiple ways, and multiple chronic illnesses developed in my teenage years. The future I carried a responsibility for fell through my fingers because of the strain of working for it.

There's times where the dialogue in the game is on the nose or too hammy or like... kinda silly. But. I feel like living in a dead end place... with a dead end mindset, where everyone around you also similarly has a dead end mindset... it eats part of you. And Teens and Young Adults get caught in a haze of it. I remember watching people react to Canada's Worst Driver, and like 80% of the people who end up on that show come from Alberta, and are people in their early 20s. And half these reactors were people who never lived in a Dead End place.

I especially remember watching Hasan and Kurtis something react to the show, and I remember the way they reacted being so striking to me, because they fully had no understanding whatsoever of the reckless drivers they were watching. And like, as a 35 year-old now I do have a like. "tsk. that's shitty driving don't do that" kinda attitude. And also I have always been an anxious driver and didn't get my license until I was 25 and literally do not drive now due to vision and brain issues, but. I've been in cars with people who are reckless drivers, especially when I was in my early 20s and I know exactly what mindset causes it. It's "This probably only only really effects me, and it doesn't really matter if I die, I don't have a future."

There's a suicidal ideation to it mixed with a drive to feel literally anything if only just a little bit of fun in driving a truck really fast in a way that sparks some adrenaline at an age where the consequences part of the brain hasn't finished developing.

I know it's so American, and I'm Canadian, but Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen seriously is one of my favourite songs for this reason.

In the day, we sweat it out on the streets Of a runaway American dream At night, we ride through mansions of glory In suicide machines Sprung from cages out on Highway 9 Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line Oh, baby this town rips the bones from your back It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap We gotta get out while we're young 'Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

It's iconic and I can't stop thinking about it sometimes.

I don't know that I exactly have a point, and The Short Message definitely isn't perfect. But. I think there's something to be said about what is being said in the game, and how it's being brushed aside. because I feel like it casts a really good spotlight on Dead End spaces, and the mindset that can take hold there, the almost contagious hopelessness of youths who don't feel like they have a future.

I feel like people in places like Toronto or Los Angeles lose scope of places that "don't matter." I've lost track of how many times I've heard Canadian Youtubers talk about how "nobody lives in the Prairies" or whatever. And that feeling of being somewhere that doesn't matter, and being the friend that doesn't matter, and having a future that might never happen... there's a reason for alcohol and drug use being such considerable problems in these areas, it's escapism people feel so intensely hopeless and without a future they just sink into any possibility of numbness. Plus since trades are most of the only jobs you can get most people have some kind of chronic pain. half the time undiagnosed and untreated.

[beescake]

i am in love with your sollux i think

sollux love party :]

if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye

as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall

as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.

his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.

while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.

his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.

the Bit in question:

his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.

considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.

but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.

but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.

compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.

the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)

conceptually-speaking,

at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise

thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.

but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures

meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.

those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:

zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)

or

far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.

which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.

dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3

[prettyboykatsuki]

wyll, in my opinion, gets the standard fare treatment for characters that are unequivocally good. i.e. people think he's boring and uninteresting. standard fare might be kind actually given the level of racism and unexplained slander (which is often just more thinly veiled racism). his reputation about being boring is not helped by the very blatant neglect of his storyline post his rewrite and release. as a wyll enjoyer i am hyperaware of the sorry state of his current story in all three acts

despite all of that and the glaring flaws - i still believe that wylls storyline is worth of being engaged with and explored.

one of the reasons (not the most major one, but one) i think wyll experiences so much neglect as a companion stems from a wider idea that "goodness" is always the uncomplicated, easy choice.

it's something i see a lot. wyll is boring because of his archetype as a princely and universally righteous guy. and this is interesting, because it always seems to functions under the assumption that wylls moral character is innate. that his heroic and righteous actions are in some capacity, uncomplicated.

uniquely among the male origin companions, through the course of wylls story - there is never a point in which he is at risk of making a truly 'bad' choice. both gale and astarions story have them at risk of making choices that are ultimately bad for them and others (especially tav when each character is romanced). gales godhood and astarions ascension are their in game moral failings. they are the result of having not broke the cycle and are 'bad' choices for the individual character.

wylls main choice is however his pact and the choice to break that pact. notably - wyll is never at risk of making a bad choice, only a selfish one.

from the critique i see of wyll - it seems like this is the element of him people find most egregious. he's too smooth, not rugged enough, not gritty enough. but i don't think wyll's character needs grit, necessarily.

if you take any time to dissect wyll at all, based on dialogue and character interaction, many of his choices put himself at the forefront of sacrifice. the game strips wyll of a lot of agency, but wyll also always abides by and sticks to his core belief. so often towards his own detriment.

not only does wyll bear the consequence of being turned into a devil (stripping him of the last remaining shred of identity he's ever had and one of the most important things in his life), he bore the burden of being banished when he made his pact, and was willing to do the same for the sake of his father when he is taken to moonrise.

and unlike gale (who i adore, to be clear) who's concept of self-sacrifice stems mostly from a low self-worth - the belief that dying is the best he can do - wyll truly views that it's better him than them.

wyll does not think twice about allowing himself to be the one to take the fall. he can play any part, take any role, even when these choices haunt him so obviously. wyll claims that he forgives his father, but opens up to you about fearing his feelings of missing him are one-sided. he believes that making his pact was the right choice, the one he would make again - but doesn't deny the obvious pain and solace that came along with being a wandering traveler and banished son.

wylls goodness is so deliberate. he is so staunch in upholding and acting on his beliefs that it is always narrative to his own detriment. when you view wyll like this , and view his choices with regards this character attribute, it is imo very hard to hate him.

wyll's goodness is his double edged sword. it makes him heroic, brave, fearless. and it makes him scared, uncertain and lonely. again, the story itself is bare bones and i understand that - but it is so very beautiful to me thinking of him and tav or just his general romance.

as wylls romance partner, encouraging wyll to break his pact is as tragic as it very beautiful. tav is wylls one selfish thing. one of the only reasons that would move him to not give himself up. one of the only reasons he is okay with forgoing his beliefs. he loves tav enough to break his own oaths, and make choices for himself and no one else. not as the blade, or as a ravengard - but just as wyll.

and that aspect of him is in my opinion, enforced, by the mindflayer tav ending. in which wylls monster-hunting and morals are made exceptions with / for tav. my enjoyment of hero corruption might be speaking for me, but i digress.

in every way though - i truly love wyll as a character. and while im well aware of the critical flaws in his in game story state, i think it's both unfortunate and unfair that people call him boring. to me he is anything but

[balioc]

Thinking about your hero/maiden/monster trinary again; it really spoke to something lodged very deeply in my soul. I'm pretty sure I'll do something centered on it at some point.

Specifically I'm thinking about how really laying the trinary bare and analyzing it seriously - fully acknowledging its basic arch-regressiveness but also studying it on its own terms and exploring the possibility space of building interesting variance or subversion on that foundation - really puts to shame the pop feminist media criticism that's seemed to me for much of my life to be increasingly hegemonic. This movement, I think, is rooted in possibly-deliberate failure to understand the hero/maiden/monster trinary, and specifically the maiden role.

Funnily enough, I remember experiencing a similar distaste for/discomfort with/"interrogation" of the maiden role when I was a small child, but this was very clearly my own culturally enforced gender-insecure girls-are-icky-ness talking. I think pop feminism does something very similar but for different reasons, exaggerating the passivity of the maiden role (and throwing in a whole lot of empty mockery, highlighting bad or just tired writing) to build a case that it's a degrading, inferior role that adds nothing to the narrative. Although this memeplex is commonly accepted at basically face value even by people who don't generally consider themselves aligned with pop feminism, it does strike me as a very bad thing for someone's ability to comprehend and create narrative.

Once you've actually comprehended the hero/maiden/monster trinary, the popular refrain that the maiden can be replaced with an inanimate object rings entirely hollow; it's no truer of the maiden than it is of either of the other two roles. The inanimate maiden is the MacGuffin, sure, the golden idol that the hero and the monster are both trying to get. But the inanimate hero is just the deus ex machina, the chandelier that falls on the monster and lets the maiden escape, and the inanimate monster is just the crisis, the well that the maiden's fallen down and the hero needs to get her out of. This monomyth still "works" in maidenless form just like it still "works" in heroless or monsterless form. Perhaps it reflects on the shallowness with which popular media has approached the maiden that popular media critics don't see what value she adds to the story - but I think it notably also reflects on the immaturity of the popular media critics, that they're only able to perceive the bluntest and most kinetic interactions in the story (those between hero and monster), not the exquisitely artfully subtler touches the maiden brings.

...I encountered this very old ask while looking through my archives. Right at this moment I don't have a particular response to offer, but...unsurprisingly I like it, and it seemed substantive enough to be worth sharing with the class.

[damnation-if]

I just want to say, as a certified monster fucker, I'm already in love with your story hahaaa <3 I'm glad we're getting more adult stories and the themes in this one are so intriguing, can't wait for the rest ! Alsooo, I really liked the way you describe things? I do not know how to explain it haha but I could easily visualize what was happening and the general atmosphere you're going for and I thought that was neat :^)

thank you so much for your kind words!! i truly appreciate them and i'm so glad the descriptions were to your liking! i have at least some level of aphantasia, so i'm always worried that i'm not describing things enough haha... glad that doesn't seem to be the case!

i was actually talking to my friends just yesterday about how there's relatively few Creacher-y ROs around... so for whatever reason, i guess because it's on my mind, i thought i'd take a bit of time/space here to mention all of the Monsterfucker Approved (TM) ROs that i could come up with, in case anyone else might be interested. this list isn't meant to be exhaustive (in case i miss anyone) as sadly i am yet to become all-seeing and all-knowing 😔

Creacher (Alien)

Rhaxa and Imxa from Project Hadea by my beloved @nyehilismwriting. spikey, scaley, bitey, etc. 👌i also love and appreciate the attention to detail put into worldbuilding for the different ways their species communicates and thinks and so on, showing the culture gaps between them and humans. quality buggies!

Creacher (Eldritch)

Roach from The Passenger... the mc is also an eldritch creacher in this one, which may add or subtract to the enjoyment for various different people lol

Sysba from Attollo; i also think this game in general is pretty monster friendly, with a bunch of monstrous side characters and so forth. the cool kind of neo-gothic vibes give it a feeling a bit akin to a cyberpunk Penny Dreadful... it's about as Monsterfucker as cyberpunk gets i think!

Beacon from Stygian: The Abyssal Lighthouse by my good friend @salty-stories. this one is probably the most Lovecraftian of the eldritch creachers i think, heavy Call of Cthulhu vibes. it's still in progress but i'm personally willing to wait haha

Creacher (Parahuman)

Lorelei and The Other from The Golden Harp; pirates and sirens and mermaids, oh my!

Danny and Isla from When It Hungers by the wonderful @roast-ifs ... the game is still on hiatus but it still lives rent-free in my head always... the monster mcs are So *chef's kiss*

Oisein from The Nameless; due to the sheevra mc there's a Lot of really cool exploration of the boundaries of humanity and stuff like that... we love a "nonhumans shouldn't be able to feel/do this" story... we love it a Normal amount for sure.

Creacher (Indefinable)

Trace from Greenwarden by @fiddles-ifs; an iconique creacher... the game itself also has excellent kind of Appalachian gothic/supernatural vibes and a dark undercurrent of Lurking Monster Foreboding.

Games with Applicably Creacher-esque Vibes

Virtue's End by my beloved friend dani... the ROs might be human, but the mc most certainly is not<3 dark fantasy and sumptuous Monster vibes, what more can you ask?

anything by the extremely talented @thirtybythirty (links to their games in their pinned post). everything they write has a compelling undercurrent of... eldritch existentialism. perhaps the creacher is in fact the Narrative... or maybe the humans were the creachers all along...

the fabulous OFNA: Birds of a Feather - it has the perfect combination of things Not Quite Human and Not Quite Right to create a rich and ominous atmosphere, well-worth playing even though everyone is Technically human lmfao

anyway sorry for rambling on and i'm sure there's a bunch i have missed but. i do feel like it's worth giving praise where it's due for games and writers that we appreciate! thank you again for your kind message (and for giving me a chance to talk about this a bit lol)

[shoyastars]

Villain Mistin au

Where Mistin was ‘convinced’ to stay as a villain by their ex girlfriend, somehow making it to the point they’re both Fiancé’s. However Ray seeing them on the street after years of searching, he decided to make his move.

His plan was simple, they can fall for him or Binary Star… but one problem… they’re fiancé didn’t seemed to like this, and not in a, “don’t steal my future partner” for example… it seemed more predatory, as if they were going to try everything they can to convince and control Mistin, not to get with him.

It clicked, she wasn’t just using them… they were also trying to get into Mistin’s older brothers good graces. He was known to have a healing ability… but as much as they’re brother can heal…. He can also hurt…. And kill…. They’re brothers ability was unclear in how it works to Ray, the NAHA is still pondering whether it’s a good idea to find and capture alive or kill on site.

However Ray’s problems were not connected with the NAHA, it was with Mistin’s ‘fiancé’ and how they’re practically brainwashed into thinking they love her. So the new plan was to get them out as soon as possible… out of the relationship, out of the soon to be ‘special day’ even if it seems wrong, he won’t stand by while they see Mistin look miserable without knowing they’re miserable.

Getting to know them is easy, growing closer to… however, taking off the red tinted glasses? Not so much.

Will Mistin be able to take off those glasses and see the signs in front of them? Or will they simply cut Ray off for they’re future ‘Partner’?

We’ll probably never know….

And that’s all the details I think I’ve shared for this lol! Anyway I’m kinda interested in others oc’s villain au’s I wanted mine to be kinda slow burn, yet like super reasonable as to why Mistin doesn’t just get up and leave. Because I did mention before they’re ex girlfriend was very manipulative and controlling, she even resorts to violence if she sees she’s not going to get her way… in this au, they’re more ‘convincing’ than ever, she still resorts to some kind of violence if not given her way, however I believe that is enough you want to hear about her.

——————————————————————————

Possible questions

——————————————————————————

Why isn’t Mistin with double?

Mistin always saw him as a friend, they never really saw him as dating material when growing up. More like a third brother to them type way. The way they look out for him and help him out when being messed with by the older kids. They didn’t know he thought of them in such a different way, until he eventually told them.

Does the toxic fiancé/Girlfriend have a brain wash ability?

Hm, I’m not too sure… that would seem too easy, so I’m going to say no, I haven’t really thought of the ability because they’re in the main story was someone of the past who changed they’re personal take on a relationship, the person who only saw their relationship as beneficial than actual love. Mistin feelings were never returned because it was never real. Mistin wanted to be loved… not used…

How come they aren’t so aware in this au?

They didn’t think they’d be able to find someone better, also… they’re self worth was beaten down many time in their times being a villain. Meanwhile with Ray they’re slowly regaining they’re self confidence again.

How did Ray become aware of Mistin’s family?

Oh come on, I’m sure Ray took background checks on us.

Will we get a fanfic of the au?

Depends if when i finally get the Ao3 writing done, I might consider making it. It might go more in depth with my characters and possibly mention more upon what relationship Mistin and their ex have from then to now. It will include a toxic relationship, an unhealthy dynamic between her and them. Maybe even exploring more family lore behind Mistin.

That’s all! Have a lovely day, afternoon, or night wherever you are!

The next chapter of The Star Hero & The Misty Crook will come soon.

Next chapter is called…

Is It Really You?

[ryansjane]

1st quarter of 2024 shows ranked

n° of shows watched from january 1st to march 31st: 13

1. analog squad: 9/10

I deeply regret not watching this one in 2023 when it was released bc it would've been my number one favorite show of that year ;_; it's such an original and touching show with one of my favorite tropes (found family) and some of the best characters I've ever seen. definitely already an all-time favorite and a comfort show for years to come <3

2. cooking crush: 8,5/10

y'all know how much I love offgun, and while this was no not me or theory of love, this show really brought me back to my early days of watching thai dramas and freaking out over any cute interaction on my screen & I love it for that! while this show has a lot of flaws, most of them are easily forgettable when faced with such great characters & one of the cutest relationships ever! I truly thought offgun's chemistry had reached its peak in not me but I was wrong, these two never cease to amaze me they really can play any role to perfection <3

3. ready set love: 8,5/10

this show really surprised with how pretty much flawless its execution is! it's hilarious but also deals with very deep & interesting topics well, and day might be one of my favorite female leads ever! a super solid show that is honestly gonna become a classic for me, I can feel it :)

4. love for love's sake: 8,5/10

this was a super sweet show that's very well done, I was dubitative of the plot at first but it really managed to pull me in & make it worth my while! one of the best kbls out there :)

5. the believers: 8,5/10

this is definitely one of the most innovative thai shows out there, dealing with a topic (religion) that I didn't think anyone would dare touch. the story had me hooked all 9 episodes & the acting performances were amazing, however I have to say this didn't pack as much of a punch as I expected it would. it's a very good show, but it stays a little surface level & doesn't explore its characters enough for me...

6. sing my crush: 7,5/10

this was very much adorable, however two things bothered me: 1) I didn't like the time jump from ep 1 to ep 2, I wish we could've seen the friendship between the characters developed more, and 2) I feel like them not revealing their feelings for each other felt a little forced & random. apart from that it's a very cute show!

7. intern in my heart: 7,5/10

this was a really enjoyable romantic comedy that I had a lot of fun in front of :) is it much more than that? not really. pretty basic but with charismatic performances that carried the show well!

8. perfect propose: 7,5/10

really sweet show that I wish was more developed & gave me more, but a good time nonetheless!

9. sukiyanen kedo do yaro ka: 7/10

this show got me, lost me then got me once again lol. I thought the chemistry for an established relationship was some of the best for a jbl, and the story was simple but endearing. but tbh something was kinda lacking for me, which made this ultimately very forgettable imo.

10. the outing: 7/10

I was SO looking forward to this show without much expectation but it still managed to disappoint me lol. the acting was very solid but there's too many characters that get introduced too late & I failed to really understand what the point or purpose of the show was. it seems to me as if this show took all of the worst points from remember 15 (the sex, the chaos, the betrayals & annoying characters), without the substance that remember 15 actually had. it's not a terrible show, and I was intrigued during it, but tbh it could've been so so much better.

11. love class season 2: 7/10

this had some of the strongest and most interesting ships I've seen in a kbl, however the writing & execution of the show was very frustrating. early on the characters barely get introduced & we struggle to understand how they're all linked together, leading to a lot of confusion on my part. it's sad bc it had a very solid story but bad execution imo :(

12. chaser game w: power harassment: 7/10

this had me very excited but sadly didn't deliver at all for me. the story is kinda all over the place & while the chemistry was really good and it's important to have japanese characters clearly labeled as lesbians, I found the acting kinda over the top as well... but it's a start for gl I guess 🥲

13. sahara sensei to toki-kun: 6/10

this is the kind of show that I managed to watch until the end... for whatever reason. but the age gap icked me out & I found that the main ship didn't have much chemistry. overall this story is very empty & didn't add anything for me, but I really liked the character of toki & would've loved to see him in a better show & ship.

[iwonderwh0]

Hiii :) I've been wanting to get into more android or artificial intelligence related media lately, got any suggestions or faves? Movies, shows, books, anything really!

Heyy, sorry for late response, I was trying to think of maybe a bigger list, but huh, here we go

I'll start with the classic that although obvious is still among my most favourites

(Upd.) A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) – I'm updating this list to put this movie at the top.

Ghost in the Shell (1995) – among the absolute best of the genre. Doesn't place technology as something opposing humanity, but explores how it can become part of it.

Do androids dream of electric sheep (Philip K. Dick) – I recently reread the novel and yeah, I still love it. Also both blade runner movies (all three are completely different stories. First movie is nothing like a book (not worse or better, just completely different), second movie is nothing like the first. All three worth checking out (tho my favourite if Blade Runner 1984)

The Murderbot diaries (Martha Wells) – a series of books with probably the best example of how can a non-human character be written in a way that doesn't turn it into a story about "becoming human" or some other cliche. Network Effect is my favourite, I was literally screaming here in my posts as I was reading it because FINALLY it is a book where author properly utilises the fact that the main character is partially a computer. It processes multiple visual inputs at once, uses drones as the extension of himself and pings and hacks everything that moves.

Her (2013) – while I hear people talking about how some other movies/novels are the most realistic portrayal of our nearest future I get annoyed because in my opinion THIS is the closest one (among those I've seen anyway). It's practically reality. Even the job the main character has – I was thinking the other day that it seems like something that would be done by AI, but then I gave it another thought and now I actually consider it to be quite valid – a human protagonist doing a job supplying the demand for human sincerity while writing letters for people he doesn't actually know, but somehow it doesn't even matter as long as it's good work of fiction that just *feels* real, even if everyone on the receiving end knows it's not. Melancholic portrayal of this digital loneliness that doesn't read as a condescending story about some big scary AI that will destroy all humanity. No, scratch that. This movie is actually telling a story and doing it amazingly.

After Yang (2017) – it's a movie that should be watched alone, as it's not really good for collective watch. There's little action and some will probably call it boring, but oh man, I really really loved it. A family with adopted daughter has an android "sibling" whose role was to "connect" the little girl to her heritage (she's Chinese while her adoptive parents aren't). One day he shuts down. The rest I won't spoil. I must admit, after playing D:BH it weirds me out how some sci-fi has conscious AI that has no autonomy and somehow it coexists without conflict. One thing that I really liked about this movie that I NEVER saw mentioned anywhere else is how an android character struggles with identity not in a sense of whether he really is human, but whether he is really Chinese. Loved that.

Animatrix (2003) – it's animated take on Matrix that shows more context around the whole humans/machines resisters timeline that at the beginning is really similar to how it went in dbh. It consists of short parts, each animated in different style. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I didn't even know this movie existed and find it interesting enough to recommend.

Electric Dreams (1984) - I LOVE THIS MOVIE, it's one of my absolute favourites that I can't recommend enough. This is actually a romcom, not "serious" sci-fi, but to be honest I feel like even silly and goofy as it is this movie is far superior as a sci-fi than a whole bunch of "serious" ones that are just using AI for the sake of a blockbuster or some cliche story about humanity. Seriously, it was filmed in 80's and has so much fun with the concept, it ironically feels really ahead of time in how it portrays it. It was surprisingly accurate too, like there's a scene on how this computer learns to imitate sounds and it really does look like a process of how neural networks learn to imitate the input they receive. It's actually ridiculous how a romcom got more accurate depiction of artificial intelligence than most sci-fi movies.

EX Machina – I don't actually like this movie and find it incredibly boring and cliche for the 90% of its length, but the ending 10% makes it worth watching.

Android (1982) – I like it more than EX Machina but once again I mostly like it for the plot twist at the end than as a whole.

I probably haven't yet seen and read a lot of great movies in the genre so anyone can feel free to add to this list your favourites.

Actually, I'll add one more

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) – although it's not technically about an android character, I feel like this book is like the mother of the whole genre. Definitely worth checking out, even if only because of how significant it is in the pop culture and how often people reference it with some absolute horseshit takes that hints at how they've never actually read it. There's a great audio version on YouTube too.

[wardenparker]

Sassenach and the Spaniard - Epilogue

Pero Tovar x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Delirious with sickness and near to death, Pero Tovar finds himself on the doorstep of a village outsider who nurses him back to health just before the winter snows descend. With a black cat for company, a mask on her face, and a biting wit that intrigues him, Pero comes to find out that his new companion is more than what she seems.  ✨  Inspired and influenced by Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series. ✨ Reader is described as disabled and having hair long enough to cover part of her face.  

Rating: Mature, but as always this blog is 18+ Word Count: 7.5k Warnings: **Blanket warnings for this fic include cursing, food mentions, references to previous sexual assault (multiple characters).**  Apologies for the possibly dubious Spanish in this chapter, and a little suggestive dialogue up front, but no other warnings. Summary: The first people you and Pero meet in Spain come bearing remarkable and unexpected surprises. Notes: Immense thanks to all of you for following along with this little trip through time. It has been such immense fun to explore in two universes at once, and so gratifying to build a family that very literally stands the test of time. Every time we embark on a new story we take a chance by stepping into the unknown, and every time it’s wonderous to see how lovingly you all respond. 🧡💛✨

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14

Nine months was honestly less time than you thought it would take to get everything ready to move, especially with Beth and Will’s wedding planning underway. But their wedding was now an entire month ago, and you have unpacked every box in the ‘new’ Tovar farmhouse which is still well over a hundred years old. All of the amenities and utilities are up to date and the contractors had done an amazing job redoing the kitchen prior to your arrival, and Pero’s adventure in building permits and historical society red tape have led to some interesting situations in restoring the thousand-year-old farmhouse that he was born in.

First thing every morning - all four of them that you have been here for - he goes out to the old farmhouse and works from after breakfast until sundown clearing out all the many years’ worth of muck and build up in the place. It had been a barn for centuries, apparently, and then a storage shed, and there are stacks of things inside that require going through before Pero can start in on replacing the roof with an approved, historically-correct thatched one like it had when his parents lived there.

You have been setting up the main house room by room, with the bedroom and the bathrooms coming first, and today you’re tackling the kitchen. The fact that everything is unpacked just means you have towering piles of things on the countertops to find homes for, but you turn on the radio to a local station and get to work. If all goes well, you’ll have things put away and be able to make it into town for groceries to make Pero an actual home cooked dinner for the first time in your new home.

Pero opens the door to the kitchen, sweating and already in search of a drink. Stripping off the thick leather gloves, he walks directly to the refrigerator that he loves and opens the door to grab the carafe of cold water you have taken to keeping in there for him. “It is nearly cleaned out.” He grunts, looking around for a glass. You scolded him when he drank directly from the bottle, so he doesn’t do that anymore.

“Glasses are in the cabinet right next to the fridge,” you tell him, busy on the other side of the kitchen figuring out how to make all of your cookware fit in the open-air shelving. “That was fast, amor. Was it not as bad as we thought?”

“No, it’s bad.” Pero finds a glass and pours it full. Gulping down the liquid in great gulps that seem to echo in the still empty kitchen. “I will have to dig out the flooring— if it’s still there.”

“But the clutter will be out soon, which will be good.” Years of Tetris come in handy when trying to organize cabinets, and you slide the last pot into place before setting your cauldron on the shelf beneath it. The big, cast-iron pot was a gift from Pero and you have every intention of bringing magic back to this home as soon as possible.

“Disgusting.” Pero murmurs, a scowl on his face as he pours a smaller glass. “Using it as a fucking storage building.”

“It will be restored again soon.” You don’t care about sweat or warmth – Valencia’s summers are definitely warm – you wipe your hands and move across the room to hug him. “Your parents would be proud.”

“I hope so.” The area where his mamá had been buried was long since grown over, the plain markers gone. But Pero had cleaned the area up and has plans on marking it with a stone to remember his parents by.

“I’m sure of it.” You would certainly be proud if it was your son returning home after a thousand years to return his homestead to what it once was - you cannot imagine his own mamá is anything less as she looks down on him. “Do you want to walk down to the church later to light a candle for your parents?” According to what you had read, the current stone church in the village was built on the same foundation of the ancient one after it was destroyed sometime in the late Middle Ages, which means it won’t be the same church he was baptized in, but it’s in the same place. “It would be nice to make friends with the priest and see if he will let us look through the old records for your family.”

“Sí.” He knows they have caused a stir, returning and buying the land. But he doesn’t know if any from Arwena and Briac’s brood survived past bearing children or what became of them. It would be good to learn.

“In the meantime…” You give him a concerned look. “Is there anything I can do to help you? I don’t have to do the kitchen today. I can help you in the farmhouse if you want.” Bowie has been at his side all morning, but he isn’t much help with cleaning.

“You do not want to shovel shit and mud out from the house.” Pero shakes his head. “I appreciate it, amor.”

“I would do it if you asked me.” You would do anything he asked you. Even clean through shit and mud. “It’s not like I have a job to go to. I’m at your disposal.” Quitting that god awful office job had been so freeing that you had actually cried. Pure relief at being free to do whatever brought you joy has been a very odd feeling to adjust to.

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You do have a job, amor.” He corrects you. “Tinkering with your herbs and setting up your kitchen. That is your job today. Just like mine is going to be making you cum on that countertop when it is clear.”

“I think being a lady of leisure might suit me.” If a life of tinkering and witchcraft and sex is what it has in store? Yes, please.

Pero smirks, more of a leer as he winks at you. “Happy to provide your deepest wishes, amor.” He promises before he sets the glass in the sink. He still hasn’t gotten the hang of a dishwasher and is scared of breaking the delicate glasses in this time.

“You’ve been doing that since the very beginning, amor.” Leaning across the counter to kiss him again, you huff playfully when the knocker on the front door can be heard loud and clear. “Who could that be?” Whoever they are, they’ll be the first people you’ve met since getting here besides the previous owners of the small farm and your contractor.

“I don’t know.” Pero tenses, his hands automatically reaching for the knife that is always on his body unless he is naked with you. He has relaxed quite a bit since coming to this time, but he’s not sure if he will ever not be on guard when surprised. “Do you wish for me to open the door?”

“I’ll get it. Don’t worry.” Any gossip that’s gotten around will say that the newcomers are from America, so you figure you might as well give the people what they’re so curious about.

Pero moves with you, not trusting anyone who calls unannounced so he will be a hulking shadow behind you. A warning to not try anything with his soulmate.

Neither of you is expecting the heart attack that is waiting for you on your doorstep. At the end of the stone path lined by flowers that leads to your little house, right at your front door when you pull it open, stands a cheerful young couple with a covered platter in their hands and curious smiles on their faces. But more remarkable than anything else is the young woman...who is the spitting image of Arwena Tovar. It's all you can do not to exclaim when you open the door, realizing it isn't actually her only by her height - she is a full six inches taller than Arwena, if your memory of the petite girl serves correctly. "I—um—" Shake it off, you tell yourself, realizing you're staring. "Hola." When you can finally get a single word out, more mercifully following. "Qué tal?" Hi. How are you?

Instantly, Pero knows this woman is related to your family. “Mierda.” He whispers, making the stranger’s eyes flicker to him before she offers a friendly smile.

Alana Tovar nods politely. “Buenos días. Queríamos darle la bienvenida a nuestro humilde barrio.” Good day. We wanted to welcome you to our humble neighborhood. If she is shocked to see an American – she can tell by the accent – she doesn’t show it.

"Gracias, gracias..." You feel like you can barely keep your eyes in your head, but you step back and wave the young couple inside as politely and happily as you can. "Entrasteis, por favor. Vos gustaríais una bebida?" Come inside, please. Would you like a drink?

Alana turns to Jorge and nods when he gives a small nod himself. “Sí.” She murmurs before she offers the platter in her hand to you. “Para usted.” For you.

"We speak English." The gangly young man who steps in after the woman offers you and Pero a lopsided smile. Through his thick accent, he sounds almost like sunshine. Chipper, yes, but also warm.

“Then we will speak English.” Pero murmurs, introducing you first. “My wife, and I am Pero Tovar.” He waves them both towards the chairs you had insisted needed to be in the kitchen and starts clearing off the space in front of them.

“Tovar?” The young woman seems to move as gently as a tree bending in the wind. Clutching the platter still in her hands, she stops halfway to the seat she is being offered and sways on the spot. “I am Alana Tovar.” She introduces herself, obviously surprised by the shared name. “This is my partner, Jorge Reyes. We live just across the street.”

Pero nods, already knowing that she must be related due to her looking so much like her ancestor. “Are you from this area?” He asks, looking over at her curiously. It’s amazing the small differences now that she’s closer, but she could be Arwena’s sister.

“Sí.” Alana nods as Jorge takes the platter from her hands and sets it down on the counter. “My family has always lived here. Please…this is for you. A coca de llanda with orange. It is a family recipe…you would call it a kind of cake, I think?”

Just from the name of the cake, Pero’s eyes light up. “It sounds delicious.” Pero tells her immediately. “We must have some. With our drinks. Tea, or coffee?” Coffee has become a beloved drink for Pero despite your love of tea, so there is always both. “We do have ale, too.”

"It is best with coffee." Jorge chimes in, rubbing Alana's shoulders in an act of both pride and encouragement. The young man eyes your Nespresso machine happily, seeing that it is already set up on the counter while you reach into the cabinet above it to retrieve a few cups and plates. "We are curious," he begins, almost like he's unsure if he should ask. "We heard that the people buying the farm were family. But Alana did not know she had any family in the United States."

"Until recently, I did not know I had any family in Spain," you explain, wondering exactly how to tiptoe around the topic. "Of course, my husband was born here."

Pero is ready for the questions, feeling the eyes shift to him. “My family moved around quite a bit when I was younger.” He tells them as if his parents weren’t buried in this very earth less than three hundred yards away. “I have heard stories of family but never met anyone.”

"You are...both Tovars?" Alana has set about cutting slices of the delicious looking cake after you pulled out a knife and forks to go with the plates, but pauses to look between you and Pero.

"Sort of?" Setting up a little assembly line at the Nespresso machine, you start to make drinks for everyone. "We are both descended from the Tovar clan very distantly. Many generations back, we each branched off from the main family tree. I was not born a Tovar at all."

Pero chuckles, wondering what they would say if they knew he was the patriarch of the family and yet not related by blood at all. You are— but that is a different story. “We did not know of the connection when we met.” He explains. “We were just…almas gemelas.” Soulmates.

“So are we.” Jorge boasts, placing his hands on Alana’s shoulders again and puffing up his chest proudly. “I knew the second I saw her. Like…like a fairy tale, no?”

“It is.” Pero grins at you, well aware that your story could be a movie thing that you love making him watch. “The Sassenach and the Spaniard.” He teases, reaching out and squeezing your hip.

"Sassenach?" Alana asks, recognizing the word from her favourite American television show but not knowing why he has said it.

Pero rolls his eyes over to you, smirking. “It means outsider.” He explains. “She called herself that when we met. After insulting me and sparking my interest with her witch’s tongue.”

"He also calls me bruja," you volunteer, laughing about it slightly as you pass out demi cups of espresso. A part of you is curious about just how many witches are even in your family line, but you pass it off as a joke for now. There's no use in raising alarm bells with your neighbors and far-flung cousin right off the bat.

Alana nods knowingly. “If you are a Tovar, that is a part of your charm.” She chuckles. “We come from a long line of brujas, though most of the knowledge is lost.”

"Are you—?" Not expecting her to be so forthcoming, you must look as shocked as you are excited. "Do you...practice magic?"

Jorge’s smile turns a little defensive, a move Pero recognizes instantly. He is not magical, but he is protective of his soulmate. He understands it, even today there is a stigma.

“I have managed to—”

“Cielo.” Jorge whispers, shaking his head warily. You are strangers after all, even if you are distantly related.

"It's okay." You promise him, realizing that there are plenty of people in the world who would judge Alana for the gift she has inherited. From under your shirt, you pull a necklace that bears a pendant with the symbol of the triple goddess stamped in pewter and show it to the younger couple. "I have practiced for a very long time." That is an odd sort of understatement. "You have nothing to fear from us, I promise."

Alana reaches over and lays her hand on top of Jorge’s. “I have a feeling about them.” She promises her soulmate, giving him a look that said more than what her words could.

“We both practice.” Pero offers, although he does not wear the pendant you do. “What is a soulmate bond if not magic? Anyone who will judge for having more is simply stupid.”

"Actually, I have something you might be interested in." Glancing back at Pero, he gives you a nod before stepping aside, knowing what you intend to show this new girl. She reminds the two of you so much of Arwena that he understands your eagerness to share with her, even if he would probably be more guarded by himself. "Not all of our family's knowledge has been lost. And my Spanish is not good enough to be able to read everything in this book. Pero has read through things with me, but you might, well..." You shrug, producing a large box from the cabinet beneath the open shelves where you had been storing cookware not twenty minutes ago. "This belonged to my grandmother, and she left it to me."

The gasp Alana let’s is overshadowed by the sound of breaking porcelain. “Mierda!” She hisses, jumping up from where she had dropped her coffee cup and shattered it on the ground. “I am so sorry! perdóname!” Forgive me!

"Está bien. Calmate." It's okay. Take it easy. Though you hadn't necessarily expected that big of a reaction, you can absolutely understand it. Pero jumps forward to clean up the broken cup and you put your hand on Alana's arm in reassurance. "I do not believe in coincidences anymore," you tell her and Jorge honestly. "Everything that has happened in my life has happened for a reason. So perhaps one of the reasons I have this is to be able to share it with you."

“I have—that book.” Alana is emotional and nearly tearing up. “I have heard stories about the book my entire life.” She explains. “My mother told me that the book was not shared anymore because one side of the family traveled away. But that it would come home someday.”

"I looked into my ancestry." The grimoire is heavy and delicate, but you lift it from the box and set it on the clear counter with care. "My branch of the family left Spain hundreds of years ago and has traveled extensively. So there is more than just English and Spanish written here, but...it is all our family."

“You did not keep the Tovar name?” She asks, curious as to how your ancestors worked. “On my side, there is a tradition if it was the last daughter, the soulmate would take the name Tovar.” She tilts her head. “Although your family kept the tradition of naming a girl after the original soulmates.” She hums turning Pero. “As did your parents. There is a generation of boys and girls with your names in our family for as long as I can remember. I was upset as a little girl that my sister had your name.” She gives a quiet laugh and shrugs. “But Alana suits me.”

“A—a tradition?” Trying not to seem overly gobsmacked, you can’t help the wonder in your eyes as you reach for Pero’s hand and hold on tight. “I had no idea…” How could you be so entirely clueless as to these traditions and yet be at the very center of them? There are swaths of boys and girls in your family named after you and Pero and yet you had no clue. “My mother kept me entirely separate from our family. She…she believes magic is dangerous. But I think it is a miracle.”

“She must have believed at some point.” Alana’s heart hurts at the idea of being kept separate from her family and she reaches out to clasp your hand over the cover of the grimoire. “Otherwise you would not bear our ancestor’s name. The stories say she was a powerful bruja. Her and her soulmate.” She bites her lip. “I have the history of our family, the ones who stayed in Spain – if you would like to see it.”

“Oh yes.” Nodding immediately, you place your other hand on hers and squeeze gently. Reassuringly. “We would love to see that. A-and…to hear the stories? If you know them?”

Jorge chuckles, making Alana fluster. “My soulmate loves collecting stories about the family.” He promises, reaching over and rubbing her shoulder affectionately. “She will talk about it all day.”

“We would love to hear them,” you promise her, water rising slightly behind your eyes as you look up at Pero. To think that Arwena and Briac founded an entire family line – a proud one that still exists in multiple forms to this day – is both mind boggling and somehow unsurprising. As if their love had reached through time and twined your family together all on its own. “Any time you would like to come over and look through the book and tell stories. Please…we are family.”

“I was curious and happy when I leaned a Tovar had purchased the property.” Alana admits with a smile. “We had wished we had been able to afford it, but this better.”

“We were meant to be brought together; I think.” She truly looks so much like Arwena that you just want to reach out and hug her, but that intimacy must be built first. Something tells you it will not take long, but it is still best to give it time. “I will make another coffee and we can sit together? Share stories? The grimoire has many of them. And perhaps if we sit long enough our cat will come out of hiding to say hello.”

“Cat?” Alana perks up and smiles. “Have you found another one? There are so many running around the properties.”

“We found a few living in the old farmhouse.” It had not thrilled Pero at the time, but a stray black cat is a thing close to your heart so he had just huffed and shooed them out - only to put water and food out for them by your back door later on. “We also brought our cat from the US. Bowie is around here somewhere.” Probably mousing, as he has already discovered plenty of prey to chase. Or else exploring his new home.

“We have always found black cats around the property. My abuela said that the familiar of your namesake became her daughter’s and they are all descendant from her. Binx.” Alana chuckles. “My own cat is named Binx.”

“They’re all from Binx?” The few seconds you take to steady yourself while reaching for a new cup and saucer from the cupboard isn’t nearly enough, but it allows you to share a loaded glance with Pero. “The original soulmates…” you ask when you turn back around. “Do the stories say what powers they had?”

“She had the power of fire, healing.” Alana smiles dreamily. “She saved Pero’s life. He was a warrior and fiercely protective over his bruja when he learned who she was to him.” It’s a story that is often told at family gatherings like weddings, so she is very familiar with her favorite love story. “He was different. He had no magic before her, but he learned. He could move things through the air. And—” She gives a small laugh. “You will say it is crazy, but the legend says they could travel through time.”

“Oh my god…” This time it’s you who drops the dainty cup from your hand, but it clatters onto the counter with no harm done as you reach for Pero beside you.

“Did you— have you heard a version of this?” She asks excitedly, leaning forward with hope shining in her eyes. “Isn’t it romantic? The story my abuela told me was that Pero learned magic so he could follow her. She was sick – unable to be healed and went to a time where she could be saved and he followed when he learned how.” She sighs softly and reaches for Jorge’s hand. “The story is told every time someone gets married in our family.”

“Every time?” You look up at Pero in wonder, wrapping your arms around him before looking back at Alana. “Do the stories say what time she traveled to? By any chance?”

Pero crushes you to him, overwhelmed by the realization that the two of you have been immortalized into this family’s legends. Stories are told to little ones, much like he had been told as a child. His breath catches and he blinks several times, his eyes wet. The two of you may have never had children together, but you are the matriarch of generations.

“That part gets complex.” Alana huffs. “No one can decide. Some say they lived in the 20’s but I believe they must have still be yet to come. How else would she be able to be saved if not for modern or future medicine?”

“I suppose it depends on what she was sick with.” The way you and Pero are holding on to each other is like you’re clinging to a lifesaver in the middle of the ocean. “But that is…it’s not so unbelievable, is it? If magic is real, then surely anything is possible?”

Alana contemplates that and nods. “You are right. I wish I could know what it was like, what they were like. It must have been amazing.”

“I think it must have been very scary.” Terrifying, in fact, but you don’t know how these two sweet young people would react to knowing that it’s you they have been hearing about for so long. “Imagine being stuck out of your own time like that.”

“So you think that it is true? That she was a time traveler?” Alana smiles happily, having been met with disbelief if she talked about it with people outside the family. “Then if he followed her, he would be outside of his own time.”

“Yes…he would.” You look up at Pero again and a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “And think how happy he would be to come home again.”

It takes her a moment. A long pause as Alana thinks about your words before there is a small, but poignant inhale from the younger woman. Her eyes are bright and shiny, and she nods knowingly. “Yes, I think that it is beautiful.”

“It would be nice if it could happen.” Jorge concedes, shifting in his seat beside his soulmate. He sees the happiness in her eyes but knows how attached to the love story of her ancestors she is. “But I would be overwhelmed, I think, if I were him. A whole modern world? Qué terrible.” How terrible.

“It is not that bad.” Pero huffs under his breath. “This time has indoor plumbing and ice cream.”

It takes a second, but Jorge’s eyes slowly move up to Pero’s in shock. “You mean…?” He croaks, fingers digging into Alana’s shoulders. “Dios mio, it’s true?”

The cat seems to be out of the bag, so Pero sees no harm in admitting it. He turns towards you, his frown would seem harsh if it weren’t for the softness in his eyes. “I would have torn time apart to be with my bruja again.”

“Te amo.” The words are soft in spite of your fierce pride in him, and you angle your chin up to kiss him before turning back to Alana and Jorge. “If you require proof, I understand.” Honestly, it would be insane for them not to. “The box on the end of the counter? That is my handwriting on the outside. Compare it to the first dozen-ish pages of the grimoire.”

“It is—” Alana nearly leaps off her seat at the counter to compare the writing. Not because she doesn’t believe you, but because she wants to.

Jorge is half a breath behind her, dragging over the box bearing your list of items inside written neatly on one of the flaps. It was how you kept organized during packing. “It is identical…”

Pero hums, knowing that they will want to see proof that he is who he says he is, so he turns and walks out of the kitchen, making his way to the safe that contains the clothes that you and he arrived in this time in.

“It’s true that he saved my life.” You tell the younger couple as Pero makes his way to the basement to retrieve his proof. “When I arrived at the hospital in this time, the doctors said another day or two might have been too long.”

“Is it true that he could not come with you? That he had to learn magic to follow you here?” Completely enthralled, Alana has a million questions for you. “I— this is rude, no? Asking you this? You do not have to answer if you wish.”

"It's okay." It's actually a relief, in some odd way. To meet family that you can share this part of your life with. To be connected to Arwena and Briac again, even a thousand years apart. "You can ask. If I'm able to answer, I will." The slices of cake and cups of coffee sitting on the counter have been neglected but you pick up your fork, deciding that food and drink makes everything a little more palatable. Socially, at least. "Yes, it's true that he had to learn magic to follow me. He spent a year learning before he traveled back to the Stones to follow me through history."

“Oh my god, it’s true.” Alana squeals, clearly overjoyed to learn that the stories that she had heard growing up were true. “I— how long has he been here? How long were you there?”

"I was there for eight years." Your first bite of Alana's torta is shatteringly good, and you muffle a groan while you chew. If this is a family recipe, you want to go back to whoever made it first and thank them personally. "He's been here for...almost a year now. Alana, this torta is amazing."

She beams, smiling happily under your praise and picking up the newly made coffee to take the first sip. “I will have to give you the recipe, unless you created it too?”

"No, your baking is far better than mine." Although you will definitely do your best to replicate this one. It's sensational. "Sugar still hadn't come to Europe then. Pero's discovery of sugar and chocolate has been a lot of fun for him."

“It is the best.” He groans as he comes into the kitchen again, the clothes and armor on his body rather than just showing them. “But I am getting fat.” There had been a snugness to his armor that wasn’t there before.

"I have a feeling that fixing up the old farmhouse will be plenty of exercise." Still, you can't help but smile at the sight of him in his armour. The lopsided expression on your face is both fond and soft. "There's my mercenary."

Pero turns towards the couple and sees their eyes widen. “This is what I am used to wearing. Spending my days on a horse and fighting for coins.”

"Increíble..." Jorge stands from his seat, jaw nearly on the ground as he gravitates closer to Pero with an eye toward inspecting his armor. "Like you just stepped out of a movie..."

“Movie. Yes, I know what that is.” Pero nods, nodding towards the man to let him touch the armor. “This is real, that – the strategy is shit in those movies. No one risks their ass like they show in them.”

"That's how he looked when he dropped off his horse onto my doorstep, near dead with tuberculosis." You tell Alana, shaking your head with the kind of fondness that only time and distance can give a memory. "We saved each other. First him, and then me."

“How did he save you?” Jorge questions, looking up from the armor before he rolls his eyes at himself. “Of course. He sent you back. How did he do that without magic? How did you travel through time?” That has been his burning question whenever Alana would talk about it.

"This is going to sound ludicrous." Telling the story from the outside really does feel a bit crazy, but you shrug slightly when Alana and Jorge both look at you expectantly. "But have you ever seen the show Outlander? Or read the books?"

“Don’t—” Alana gasps, covering her mouth and shaking her head in disbelief. “Do not tell me that is real!” She all but squeaks out her comment and Jorge laughs.

“She loves Outlander.” He confides. “Thinks the Jamey guy is…hot.”

"Last October I went to Inverness with my best friend to see the Stones at Craigh na Dun." You can't help but laugh, realizing in retrospect how silly the whole thing sounds. "I was gone for eight years, but to my friend it was only a few minutes."

“A few minutes…” Jorge shakes his head. Alana looks just as dumbfounded. “This is amazing.”

"And I will never regret it, because it led me to Pero." His hand reaches for yours at the same time you put your hand out to him and you link your fingers together tightly. "But I cannot safely say that anyone should ever try to travel through the Stones. You have no idea when you will arrive in time and when you get to wherever it is you are sent, you could be in immediate and very grave danger. It is...more than I bargained for. I'm just lucky that it turned out well for me."

“If it is not too rude…” Alana twists her hands together. “Is that why— your scar. Did you have it before you went back?” She asks, wondering if it’s a sensitive topic for you. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

"I got it while I was there." You nod slightly, fingers tangled in Pero's tightening slightly. "Before I met Pero. There was...a man that thought he could take advantage of me. He was very wrong."

“Bastard.” One thousand years dead and it still would not be enough for Pero. If he could be certain where the man’s grave was, he would piss on it. “My bruja managed to defend herself, and give me a scar that made me even more fearsome on the battlefield.” He sounds proud because he is proud of you.

"An example of why I would never recommend that anyone travel through the Stones." Beyond the scar and the loss of sight aside, the assault that you had endured was reason enough to caution anyone and everyone against putting themselves in that position. "Best to stay safe, well-fed, and cared for on this side of the timeline."

“I am so sorry.” Alana murmurs, looking horrified by the idea that someone would hurt you. “Hopefully he got his just rewards.”

“He got what he deserved.” You nod solemnly, looking back to Pero. “My husband made sure of that.”

There is a moment where Alana and Jorge just stare at Pero, in awe of what he must have done to put the terrifying look of grim satisfaction on his face. Alana ducks her head. “I am sorry for bringing up painful memories. My – curiosidad – it gets the best of me.”

“Things are better now.” You put one hand softly on Alana’s shoulder and offer her a smile. “To be able to return here, and to see what our family has become? That is worth everything.”

Jorge frowns. “Wait…if you were only there for eight years…did you leave your children behind?” He asks, confused about how they can be Tovars and still have created this legacy in such a short time.

“Your ancestors are a young couple named Arwena and Briac.” If Alana knows so much family history, she may already know this, but you tell her anyway. “They were soulmates, and Wena’s father forbade them from being together. But…we helped them. Briac learned to wield a sword and farm the land from Pero, and I taught Wena to read and write and wield magic. They…became our children, without ever any intention of the thing. When the night came that they needed to run away together, we packed up and left the village with them. From then on, we were a family.” Talking about them brings a wave of nostalgia you hadn’t been expecting and you wipe a tear from your eye. “You look exactly like her,” you tell Alana. “I knew you had to be family the second I saw you.”

“I do?” Alana very nearly tears up at the idea and reaches up to touch her own face. “Is that why you looked shocked when you opened the door? I look like the original Arwena Tovar?”

“You’re taller, but that’s the only real difference.” It’s sweet, how dearly Alana seems to take that fact to heart, and you nod. “It’s probably why I felt we could tell you all of this so easily. You just…you look so much like her I couldn’t imagine that that could have happened by accident.”

“I promise this will not be a tale that I spread.” Alana assures you, not wanting you to be wary of her spreading your story and perhaps having people look at you as if you are crazy.

“Thank you.” You didn’t think that she would, but it’s nice to hear the confirmation aloud. “I am, actually, your distant cousin,” you explain. “I’m also descended from Arwena and Briac. Just…a different branch of the family.”

“The side that apparently went to America.” Alana shakes her head, amazed at how the family has branched. “It’s amazing. A paradox. You are the matriarch and yet you are the descendant.”

“I don’t quite understand it myself.” It’s all too grand and smacks of too much consequence, and every time you think about it too much you reach a point where you start to get wrapped up in it like it’s the plot of a fantasy novel instead of your actual life. “But…all of it led me to Pero. And that’s more than I ever could have asked for.”

“I cannot believe that your soulmate is from a different time than you.” Jorge exclaims, unable to deny that is what you are because of the matching scars over your eyes.

“We usually say that we met while I was on that vacation in Scotland.” Pero chuckles into his sip of espresso when you say it and you shrug slightly. “It’s not like we can tell most people what really happened.”

“She tells people I am…” Pero looks to you when he cannot remember the word. “Antisocial.” He huffs, smug that he remembered it.

Alana and Jorge choke on this revelation for a minute before busting out in a fit of smothered laughter that makes even you giggle. “It’s true, amor. You are most of the time. But you love your family.”

“I do not trust anyone but family.” He corrects, frowning at your judgement of his character.

“Social expectations have changed in a thousand years, that’s all.” Alana points out. “And being able to trust your family is not always automatic. We are lucky to be able to trust each other so quickly.”

“I do not understand why.” Pero shakes his head. “Family should be the ones that you trust most. They are…family.”

You know he’s right, in many ways, but explaining to him that your mother would never accept the truth about who he is and when he is from – that she would probably try to have both of you committed if you told her the truth – had been a very long conversation. Of course he trusted you to know best, but he didn’t like the idea that you could not fully trust your parents to support you.

Pero moves over towards you and his hands slip around your waist, his lips kissing the juncture of your neck and shoulder softly. “I will change back.”

“Be comfortable, amor.” You nod slightly, knowing he will feel the movement next to his head. “I know that tunic cannot be more comfortable than your t-shirts. My sewing was never that good.”

He chuckles quietly and can’t deny that modern clothes are more comfortable. Less itchy than the ones from his time. “I will be back.”

“So what about you two?” Turning back to Alana and Jorge, you feel the slight loss of no longer having Pero at your side, knowing he will be back quickly. Taking off armor never takes as long as putting it on. “What do you do? How did you meet?”

Jorge smirks, his own pride for his soulmate evident on his face. “University.” He explains. “We were taking a class together.”

“I still do not know how we managed to pass,” Alana laughs, sending him a gentle, fond smile. “We did not exactly study.”

“It is not an exciting story, but it was almost as if we knew right away.” Jorge boasts. “The connection, I mean. It – it is beautiful.”

“Every love story is exciting in its own way.” And really, yours is not for everyone. “It is a new beginning. The start of a life together. That is its own kind of adventure.”

“How is he handling it?” Jorge asks, imagining that despite the advantages of this time, the other man must be having moments where he struggles to understand the world he lives in now.

“There are always new challenges,” you admit, wishing as always that you could simply smooth the path that Pero walks in this time. But you know you cannot do everything for him, and he doesn’t want you to. That doesn’t stop you from wishing you could take away the things that make him unhappy. “It will do him good to have friends here. Family. People he can be his true self with. And…more than anything, I think coming home again will be good for him. The barn out there? Or, what is now a barn? That is the house he was born in.”

"That was the house?" Alana's eyes go comically wide, and she whips her head to the side to look out the window that overlooks the stone structure. "That is – it is a thousand years old and is the house that your soulmate was born in? The one where Arwena and Briac lived and raised their children in?"

“Yes.” You can’t help but chuckle a little at how excited all of this makes her, and you’ll admit that a good portion of it is some kind of relief. It had been a worry of yours that making friends here might be difficult – but clearly the opposite was destined to be true.

"That is – wow – amazing." She lets out a chirp of happiness and looks back out the window again. "He has been working out there. Is he – will he turn it back into what he knew it as?"

“He even applied for the permits we need to restore the thatched roof and stone floor.” It is a particular point of pride for you, that Pero is working so hard to restore his childhood home. He’s working so hard and you could not be happier for him.

"Wow." Now it is Jorge's turn to be impressed and he nods. "I will ask if he needs help." He decides, looking eager at the prospect of learning techniques from a thousand years ago. "It would be beautiful to see a perfect example of how a home from that time would be set up."

“Jorge studied architecture.” Alana tells you, her own pride evident in her voice. “You should see the castles he designs and builds for Binx. They are spectacular.”

“You build castles?” Pero steps back into the kitchen, his brow arched high, and he is very interested in the other man’s skills. The fireplace in the old home has been removed and he wants to rebuild it. “They are still being used in this time?”

“For our cat.” Jorge laughs, slightly embarrassed at the mix-up. “Towers for her to climb and scratch shaped like castles. But I build other things. And design them.”

“Alana was saying that Jorge studied architecture,” you explain.

“And I am a builder.” The younger man nods. “Whatever help you need in restoring your home, it would be an honor to help you.”

Pero rubs his jaw, nodding to himself slightly. “I need to rebuild the hearth.” He tells the younger man. “Some bastard ripped it out and boarded over it. Do you want to look?” He offers, knowing that someone who builds for a living might be a good thing since the bastards to tell you what you can and cannot do with your own property have pissed him off several times.

“Absolutely.” Jorge nods and drops a kiss on the top of Alana’s head before hopping off of his stool at the kitchen counter.

“I’m going to show Alana the grimoire,” you tell them, glad to see Pero making a friend so easily. You’re certainly not going to get in the way of it, especially not when Jorge is practically family. “Come in when you get hungry and maybe we can share supper together tonight?”

Pero nods and moves over to kiss you again. “Do you wish for me to start the fire outside?” He asks, knowing that he had planned on roasting some meat you had bought from the grocery store. While it was not the same as wild game, it was still delicious. “Or do you wish to do something else?”

“No, we can cook outside.” One kiss is never enough, and you steal another easily. “We have plenty enough for four, and we can show Alana and Jorge how we used to do things. It will be perfect.” To not have to hide, or to lie, or to pretend at all is a great gift that you did not think you would ever be given in this part of your life. But as always, as if some wonderful force of the universe is looking out for you – you have gotten the blessing that you needed in spite of undertaking something scary. Whatever else comes during your life in Spain, you have Pero at your side and family to spend time with. There is nothing more you could want.

______

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[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 22 - The Employees: A Workplace Novel of the 22nd Century

This was a fascinating book. Another one I probably appreciate as an art object more than as a story, per se, but in this case that’s not really a knock on it. Or at least, I believe the whole project began as the written accompaniment to an actual visual art display. Which I really rather wish I could have seen, it seems like the right sort of setting and accompaniment would have made this a lot more affecting.

Anyway, the basic synopsis of the book is that, sometime in the future, a massive space vessel called the Six Thousand Ship is launched from Earth and ends up in orbit over an alien world, where strange and vaguely eldritch objects are retrieved and brought on board. The story is told through a series of anonymous employee testimonials to some silent and anonymous survey/study/HR board. Crucially, some large fraction of the crew is not human but humanoid, synthetic workers created and programmed by the organization who own the ship.

The entire thing is perfectly designed to convey a very particular sense of corporate alienation, right down to the polite euphemisms used for murder. Especially at the beginning, everything from obsession to grief and nostalgia over never seeing Earth again is always framed as how it might effect ones productiveness as an employee, and to figure out everything that really happened in any given statement you usually have to first decipher the thick layer of corporate HR-ese its buried under. The packaging provides a sort of antiseptic distance that kind of clashes interestingly with what is actually happening at any given point.

Which is, I’m sue, all making a point of the alienation and inhumanity of the modern workplace and the absolute horror of a life that is nothing but work – I think I first heard this book mentioned in the context of people discussing Severance, and I can absolutely see the relation between the two. I’m sure it’s incredibly uncultured of me, but the whole framing device (especially as things moved towards the climax) also just seemed incredibly reminiscent of the audio logs and scraps of text you would find in a video game, providing the backstory of how whatever environment you’re exploring collapsed into the ruined state you found it in. Which is, certainly, an interesting effect to go for in a book.

The objects themselves are almost certainly weighted with deep symbolic meaning that flew entirely over my head, but the effect they had on the various employees is definitely interesting. Things definitely do happen, but in terms of page count the inner musings and angst over the human(oid) condition and how interaction with the objects effects different individual psychologies is what the book is actually really interested is. Being allowed to care for the objects in the way they seem to like becomes an intense preoccupation for some of the crew involved, even moreso than the allocated time with holographic recreations of children the organization starts providing as an incentive at a certain point.

I’m not entirely sure it really does anything with it, but all the ways the book gestures at transhumanism is at least interesting. The humanoids themselves, with their probably immortality and regular mental reuploads and lack of anything outside the Work to contextualize or complicate their life (at least until the objects show up), as well as plenty of mentions of add-ons that the Organization provides its human workers as needed. And just very oblique mentions of ‘transfers’ to positions with very different mental architecture or sense of self or physical/mental autonomy. It’s all a great/creepy vibe, at least.

On the whole book left me slightly cold, but that’s really a me problem more than the book problem. Short enough to be worth a read if it seems interesting, at least.

[dustteller]

I just finished watching all the available episodes of The Apothecary Diaries, and I have to say that it surprised me!

The premise of an apothecary working for the emperor's consorts and solving medical mysteries is already a gun one, but the execution really elevated the concept past entertaining romcom to genuinely fantastic storytelling. It's not revolutionary, but it's certainly deeply endearing, and I really enjoyed how it found a balance between lighthearted comedy and acknowledging the awful aspects of sex work and being a woman/lower class in a world where neither are valued. It doesn't explore the darker side in detail, at least not so far, but it still does a fantastic job in making the horrible parts feel like a real part of the setting while still making the choice to focus on the women's joy even when faced with hard situations. I guess I just appreciate these things being openly discussed without immediately having it be a psychological story about dealing with trauma?

The characters are also soo good, and while most lack depth (its been nine episodes, so for a cast this big, that can be excused), usually their schtick is strong enough that it can easily carry their appearances. You also get the sense that while a lot of these characters do fill out comedic roles/archetypes, there's a lot more going on beneath the surface. Their schtick is fun, but its not all they have, its just there to help the audience familiarize themselves and bond with the charcaters while their entire personality is unearthed. The entire cast is genuinely absolutely delightful and reasonable and feel incredibly real while also being really funny.

The romance portion is also really really fantastic. Both Maomao and Jinshi are hilarious little freaks, and their dynamic is so fun to watch. Maomao is such a good take on the cold, blunt, genius character, who is socially challenged but very far from frigid. She's practical and logical while also keeping a very strong emotional core founded in empathy and genuine care for the people around her. Her obsession with poison is also pulling triple duty, as it 1) serves to break her cold facade and provides comic relief in the form of an ongoing gag, 2) gives the reader a strong understanding of her guiding motives/desires, and 3)gives her role as a medical investigator narrative justification. Of course she'd know what was used to poison someone, that's her whole thing! Jinshi himself is a counterpart to Maomao's colder tendencies, being very clingy and emotional. This show is not afraid of making him a pathetic little obsessed man, and it's all the better for him. Unlike other possesive and obsessed male leads, Jinshi manages to mostly stay away from the creep factor by being so uttely pathetic and cringe that he never really comes across as an actual threat. Couple that with him actually being very respectful of Maomao, only engaging in light flirting, and how he never actually wants to change her (most rapey MLs try to break the FL out of their feisty charcater or demean her for it while showing her how they're more powerful), and Jinshi makes for a very good love interest that also feels like a very safe comfortable person, which I feel matches the tone of the show very well. He's also as much of a freak as Maomao ("she wants to crush me like a bug <3333🥰🥰🥰), so they're very well matched there, too. He's such a petty loser, and that makes him a stronger character.

The story seems to be ramping up, and while I don't think it'll ever lose the lighthearted tone, I'm excited about how it already seems to promise a more in-depth exploration of the world it's set up the scaffolding for. For what it's worth, I also think the show has done a very good job at making the world feel expansive and mysterious, while also balancing that wholesomeness, which for a show centered around sex workers is quite the feat.

Anyways, long story short, I think the nine episodes that are out so far are really great, and the story thrives through how utterly endering it is. I am charmed by the world and the characters and what the plot has promised us, and while I don't expect it to revolutionize anime or whatever, it's still a masterclass in narrative shorthand and the act of balancing its heavy themes, especially when it comes to the characters themselves. There's so many of them that are so fun and memorable that I didn't mention, but who absolutely deserve their own posts, and that's only nine episoded into a comedy show, which I think goes to show how strong of a start this series has. Overall, I'd rate the show so far an 8/10, and I'm really excited to see what will come from the next 15 episodes.

[tatjana-fantasy]

Why Little Hope’s most mundane interpretation is still amazing

You know what’s amazing about Little Hope’s story? That even its most mundane explanation – everything being an imagination and nothing more – still makes for a heartbreaking experience. This is why I decided to look through the events of the game from the basic “Anthony walks through the town” perspective, and analyze the various places he visits throughout the game, and why they were important to him. Because I believe this may be another way to interpret Little Hope’s story: Anthony coming to town to say goodbye to every place he loved.

(For the sake of argument, we’re mostly going to ignore everything that isn’t “real.”)

We start at the Bus Crash Site, where Anthony is perfectly greeted by the “Welcome to Little Hope” sign. I don’t think the place itself is actually important, but it does force Anthony to head into town, so I think it’s worth mentioning. Similarly, the fog forces him to stay on his path, which is likely Anthony’s own subconscious, guiding him to familiar places.

(Side note: I think it’s very fitting that Anthony can find Eric’s and Rachel’s car here, a reminder of another horrible accident that took place at the edge of town.)

Eventually, Anthony makes his first stop at the Black Cat Bar. Here, he meets Vince, the only other real person in town. It’s quite clear that Vince visited the bar regularly, but I wonder if Anthony visited it, too. We know that he was only an adult for about two and a half months, so he might’ve shared a drink with Vince during them; but even if he didn’t, he likely knew that Vince was a regular customer, which probably inspired him to visit the bar in the first place.

Afterwards, Anthony follows the Main Road, which is basically the red string of the story that ties all places together. Here, he makes a short detour to a vantage point; I can’t pinpoint its exact significance, but it’s easy to imagine that he had certain spots in town he liked to visit whenever he wanted to be alone.

The first bridge Anthony comes across is the part where the fictional characters in-game decide to split up. It’s like a metaphorical bridge for Anthony that allowed him to sink deeper into the depths of his mind; beforehand, his imagination only went so far to imagine all characters relatively close together, but now that he’s deeper in town, his imagination grows.

Meanwhile, Vince glimpses into Anthony’s story every so often, as if to remind him of the reality he doesn’t want to accept. Fittingly, his first cameo happens at the intersection, which can easily be seen as the intersection between imagination and reality.

Shortly afterwards, Anthony comes across a hut with a gun inside it – which raises some interesting questions about whom the hut belongs to, and consequently, who the owner of the gun is. Because of the book you can find inside, I believe it could be Vince, but it’s hard to say for sure since he doesn’t seem to recognize the gun later. There’s also the possibility that Anthony himself deposited the gun here at some point, but I don’t think that’s very likely.

Either way, Anthony continues to the Little Hope Police Department, which is obviously an important place for him, considering he was briefly imprisoned here and made the Crude Doll. But before we actually get to see him explore the place, we jump to Daniel’s POV – and the question of how real the events outside Anthony’s own perspective are. Does he imagine the other characters visiting these places or does he visit them himself? Personally, I’m leaning towards the latter.

We get a look at the Little Hope Middle School, which Megan likely visited, and the Playground, where one of her drawings can be found. It’s quite horrifying to think that all that time, Megan drew her experiences with Carson, but no one paid enough attention to her in order to do something about it.

Anthony enters the General Store next, whose nostalgic value is shown in the comic, where he mentions that he used to buy comics and candy there. Nearby, there’s also a small shack with some runestones and candles, but similarly to the hut above, the owner is difficult to pinpoint. Was it Vince’s and Tanya’s place to practice their Pagan beliefs? Or was Anthony himself a regular visitor? It’s hard to tell for sure, but I think both explanations are likely.

Either way, he explores the inside of the police station next, which must be a painful experience for him. He looks at all the memories he rather wanted to forget, reminds himself of everything he lost. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been for him!

Exiting the police station, he comes across the Little Hope Bridge, where Tilly Johnson’s memorial makes me wonder about her existence, while Dennis’s band poster reveals more details about the Clarke family. Following the most mundane explanation theory though, this could potentially reveal a very heartbreaking fact about Anthony: That the memorial and the poster didn’t depict his family members, but he sees them anyway, like he can’t stop thinking about the people he let down.

This can also be seen in the Little Hope Graveyard. Because of course Anthony would want to visit his family’s graves; a part of him wants to confront the harsh reality he cannot yet accept.

When it comes to the other graves (like Wyman’s or Abraham’s), I suspect he got inspired here and decided to use their names for his story. It’s also interesting that Anthony comes across Vince right after, because this basically confirms they barely missed each other when visiting the graves of the people they loved.

Continuing to the Woods, I have to wonder about their significance. Sure, the Witch Trial is located here, which is likely a place Anthony was interested in, but I’m not sure if this is the only explanation – especially because the Woods are visited later as well. Is this another red string for the story, like the Main Road? I honestly have no idea, so I’d like to hear your thoughts!

Anyway, after a quick scene on the Main Road where we get a glance at the sewers, Anthony enters the Little Hope Museum. It’s easy to imagine that he used to come here regularly, and in the present, he even visits it twice. The first time, his own mind influenced the things he saw, but his second visit showed him what was actually real. Maybe a part of him knew it all along, so he went back to confirm it.

Following the Main Road, several historical plaques of places and events can be found here, alongside Tilly Johnson’s house and the Execution Site near the Church. The Execution Site is probably part of Little Hope’s historical town tour, while the Church is not only the place where Anthony bumps into Vince again, but also the place Reverend Carson resided. Which is interesting because after a short climb to the Bell Tower, you are free to either explore the church or simply skip everything that might remind Anthony of Carson. It’s the only place that allows that, like Anthony doesn’t want to be reminded of him anymore than he has to. He was probably a regular church visitor, and might’ve confided in him a couple of times, which only strengthens the betrayal he must feel.

Outside Church, Anthony makes a return to the Woods, where he relaxes for a bit and continues on the Dirt Trail, whose significance I honestly can’t tell. However, it does lead up to Mary’s grave, and most interesting of all, the Derelict Building. Since Abraham is properly introduced here, the building has to have a meaning, but what exactly? Was it always abandoned and Anthony came across it one day? Was it a functioning building before? In the flashbacks, Joseph seems to live there, so maybe James used to live there as well? I’m really curious what you think, because I believe there has to be a reason why Anthony wanted to visit this building in particular, I just don’t know what it could be. So, what are your thoughts? :)

Continuing to the Factory and another meeting with Vince, Anthony can find multiple remnants of the past. In the comic, it’s the first building he visits, spending quite some time there, reminiscing of the past and the physical memories it left behind. It’s also obviously the place his father and Vince worked at, so it makes sense that he would want to go there at some point.

From the Factory Grounds, you have to walk quite a bit through the Woods and a small tunnel until you come across the Ruined House, and the Back Yard associated with it. It’s notable that Vince’s old car stands here, like he never moved it away after the fire. And in the Ruined House itself, Anthony finally reaches his destination: Home. Now, he has to decide Mary’s/Megan’s fate, he has to come to a conclusion. But interestingly enough, his own story only ends here if he fails to forgive Megan and/or fails to let his family go; it’s only when he saves at least one person besides Mary that he can continue to the Main Road, where Vince determinantly brings him to his last – and in some ways, first – destination: The Diner. No matter which ending you get, Anthony’s story comes full circle and he leaves the town forever.

Imho, just viewing Little Hope as Anthony wandering around town and nothing more still makes for an interesting, heartbreaking story, and one I personally love – regardless of the interpretation you choose to believe. :)

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader

content warnings: none really for this chapter, mentions of anxiety & depression

word count: 2.5k

find chapters 1-3 RIGHT HERE on: wattpad

summary of book: Jean Kirstein has no interest in girls. He'd tried dating and found himself often bored before the end of the evening. Competing for captain of The University of Trost's lacrosse team, there is no shortage of women available to him but he'd rather be on the field. Unfortunately for him, it's the off season. (Y/N), however, found herself feigning ignorance about her desire to love deeply and be loved even deeper. After her first day at college, her hopes for the school year diminished greatly until she grew to know Jean.

summary of chapter: It’s (Y/N)’s first day at the University of Trost. Having gone through most of highschool keeping to herself, she suspects that college will be just the same. However, she runs into an old friend and discovers that college may not be as easy to avoid people in. (Y/N) begins to suspect she’s going to have a long year at college, thanks to her picking what would be the worst seat in psych class.

note: this is going to be a slow burn with many chapters, i am hoping for at least 30. although this is a jean fic, i will be potentially exploring a connie plot line. this story will contain topics of mental health/illnesses, suicide/death, grief, violence, drugs & alcohol, sex and other sensitive subjects. i will do my best to give you a warning ahead of time.

_____________________________________

of lilacs & lacrosse

chapter 1.) first day

 I'd say the funny thing is that I'd say I'd never given too much thought about how I'd fall in love, but that would be too much of an easy lie to spot. Love was all around me. It was in the movies, the songs, it was on the train and in the grocery store. I was frustrated when it didn't come to me in highschool, when a mysterious, pale man hadn't approached me, like the media had taught me. Where was my love and was it worth the wait?

————————————-

I've known these people since middle school, of course not every single one of them, but the ones that mattered, I'd known them. Hell, I'd even been friends with them at some point. Why was it so hard now? Was it the fear of saying something silly or more simply, the fear of being less than enough? More than enough?

These thoughts kept me up the entire night before the first day of college. I'd woken up in sweats, in screams even. I told myself, college would be no different than highschool and I'd be alright.

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Beep, beep, beep.

That's it, it's time.

I yawn, my ears pissed off from hearing the never relenting alarm of my phone. Panic filled me.

Why?

I've been settled into my dorm for quite some time, it was nothing special but nothing to be ashamed of either. I pull the blankets off of me and swing my legs over the edge of my bed, which seemed to not want to let go of me, but very well could have been my own reluctance wanting to keep me in place. My bare feet hit the ground and I inhale.

It's just an 8 a/m class, (y/n). Just an 8 a/m. No matter the first day or not.

I tiptoe across the cold, hardwood floor. Opening my closet, I'm surprised at the lack of options for my first day of college, even though I was the one who had done the lack of college shopping. I wasn't going to complain, I'm not the type of person who cared so much about clothing and having the newest things. I was okay wearing clothes from highschool. It's not like anybody would actually notice. A simple outfit would do for the day. A black t-shirt, a pair of ripped jeans, and nothing more, except for a hair tie to keep half of my mess up. And shoes, of course shoes. My black and white converse sat on the floor, under my massive collection of black clothes. Pick me, they called. I grab my sneakers and bundle my clothes under my arm, shutting the closet doors behind me. I slip my choices over me and look in my bedroom mirror. Smoothing out non-existent wrinkles, I can't help but let my mind think. My eyes meet my own.

Was I afraid? Was I confident? Would anyone else be able to tell?

Stop it, (y/n.) You'll get nowhere, I tell myself abruptly.

My clothes are satisfactory enough. There is nobody I need to impress today and I'm okay with that. I'm not looking to make friends, just looking to make it through one class. I look at myself in the mirror, tugging my hands over places I'd hope nobody would look at. My steps to the bathroom are as sad as I'd imagined they'd be last night, trying not to make any sound although I'm the only one who could hear. Makeup bags sit on the white bathroom sink with various beauty products strewn about. I grab my go-to bag and unzip. My fingers fumble in the makeup bag on the counter. Mascara, foundation, eyebrows, lip gloss.

What if they don't like you?

Mascara, foundation, eyebrows, lip gloss.

Who's they, (y/n)? You don't actually really know anybody. Besides, I thought you weren't looking to impress anybody and you were just fine with that.

Mascara, foundation, eyebrows, lip gloss.

My hands tremble with the mascara wand.

"Fuck, shit." My lips part before I know. Dots of black cloud my eyes. In the mirror, I frown. I bite my lip, I'd already fucked up with nobody around. I feel a growing black cloud in my brain.

No big deal, (y/n). Clean it up, it's alright.

I grab a q-tip, quickly turn on the faucet and wet it under the water. I begin to blur away my mistakes. I bring the q-tip up to my face, relentlessly poking at the lingering black marks upon my face.

Go away, go away, I'll be late, I plead.

Eventually, the gods oblige to my demands. My eyelashes, and myself, are happy. My fingers find themselves once again fumbling in my makeup bag for a probably expired foundation. Even though I don't remember the last time I had actually gone and bought foundation, I don't have the heart to check the date, but there's no way I'm going to my classes on the first day without any face makeup. I pour a bit of my foundation on the back of my hand to warm it up before applying it straight to my face. I dip my beauty blender into the cream and bring it to my face. I'm staring straight into the mirror.

Who is this? It's me, idiot. It's always been me. Stop thinking.

I tune out the rest of my thoughts before I finish my foundation. I place the container back into my bag, and dig around for my eyebrow brush. Not like I actually do anything to my eyebrows, but somehow brushing them out creates a false sense of security.

Brush your eyebrows, (y/n), nothing bad will happen today. Oh please, brush your eyebrows (y/n), you've saved the world from eternal damnation.

My eyebrows are clean, sleek, and saving the world from an intergalactic attack. Eyebrow brush back in the bag, I search for my lip gloss. It was nearly a clear, transparent lip gloss but hey if it made my lips shiny, someone was bound to notice, right?

Right.

I'm looking in the mirror, I'm satisfied. My lip gloss is good and the shade of black my shirt is, well, black. No time to reflect on that. I head out of my bathroom, which I am grateful for the fact there's nobody to share it with. I'd somehow gotten lucky finding a cheap apartment I could afford without having a roommate and didn't have to settle for a college dormitory. This, however, did have its downsides. The place is quiet and I find myself staring. My kitchen is missing a sense of home. I shake away the fact and think about what I want for breakfast.

Pancakes? Eggs? Both? Nothing? Oatmeal?

There's no use. I hate the kitchen. I don't want to make anything for myself. I don't want to use any of my good, hard earned money for breakfast. I grab my black Jansport backpack that I purposely left on the counter last night. I would have forgotten it if I left it in my room but I can always count on myself to have a good old fashioned kitchen crisis. I stand in my kitchen, looking around.

I hate this.

I grit my teeth, unsure of how to be a person without anybody else around me. I made the heavy decision that heading out the front door is best for me. My steps to the door are heavy, unchanging and solid. I shut the door to my apartment. The hallway is cold and unforgiving of crimes I've never committed.

I'm sorry, college apartment, I'll never do it again.

Another thing I had gotten extremely lucky with regarding my apartment, was that I could walk to the campus in under ten minutes, five if I decide to really put some pep in my step. Outside my building, the leaves are still green and wanting to hold onto the summer. I stand under the overhang and pull out my phone from my pocket.. The weather app tells me it's 79 degrees, which is typical for the beginning of September in Trost. Maybe even a bit cooler. I pull some earbuds out of the mesh bindings on the side of my backpack. Untangling them is a challenge but the bigger challenge is deciding what to listen to.

[play: To All Of You- Syd Matters]

The campus is bigger than I expected. Maybe it would have been smart to have come by earlier and taken a look. The main building looks like a museum, it's built of brick and there are students everywhere I look. Most people are smiling and walking with a friend. I take everything in as I walk. There's a girl with purple hair sitting at a green metal picnic table, the kind that had holes and people would get their fingers stuck in. Her fingers are free as she dances a pencil across a black notebook. The leaves are blowing and I try not to think about the fact that nobody else is thinking about me. The grass is very green and for that, I am thankful. Nothing is dead. My steps are silent to me as I near the entrance. A boy walks in before me. He is wearing a black sweatshirt with the number nine in white on it. I cannot see his face and he doesn't look back to see mine. He does not hold the door for me. Upon reaching the door, I am cruelly reminded that nobody waits for you. I am alone. The door handle is cold in my grasp. My first and only class today is psychology, because who doesn't love their brain being fucked with at 8 am?

Nostalgia hits my nose when I step inside. It's cooler than it was outside and the lockers are blue. The floor is tiled and white with gray specks underneath my black shoes. Students are leaning against lockers, some people are completely frozen in time and others are bustling. I scurry to the side of the hallway to stay out of the way. I pull my phone out and look at my lock screen that I had previously set to a screenshot of an email reminder from my teacher. My psych class was on the first floor in one of the lecture halls. The time at the top of my phone reads 7:50. I put it back in my pocket and make my way down the hallway. I am able to find the room quite easily.

Nobody stands out to me as I pass through the doorway. It seems to be mostly carbon copies of the same brainless girls who would spew about how they'd change the world with their non-existing compassion. My eyes flicker across the room, trying to find a spot that would be the least painful to sit in. I don't want to sit completely alone in the back but I don't want to sit directly next to anybody either. I found a seat in the somewhat crowded room. It was towards the back but closer to the middle section and it was an aisle seat, closest to the wall with nobody occupying the seat next to it. A girl with brown hair sat just next to the empty seat. I wonder if she made the same game plan as me. I walk up the steps to my seat and sit. Quickly, I turn my head, wanting to see who is sitting with me. I can't see her face. Her head is tilted down and her phone is resting on the desk. She is focused on whatever it is she's doing. I turn my head back and take my headphones out of my ears then unplug them from my phone. 7:59. The professor was not here yet.

"Y/n?"

My head instinctively whips to the right, completely startled. My eyes zooming across the features of the person who called my name.

God, who knows me here? And who was it that remembers me?

Her skin is sun-kissed tan, or maybe it was natural. Blurts of freckles were clinging to her slim cheeks and small, pointy nose. Her hair is brown and brushed out of her face into a ponytail, a few pieces escaping the clutch of the loose hair tie. Eyelashes dark and the bags under them too. I have to peel my eyes away from her face. She's wearing a baggy black shirt and jean shorts. My eyes travel back upwards to look at hers. That's when I recognized her.

"Oh my god, Ymir?" She smiles and tilts her head at me.

"It only took you about, hm..." She looks down at an invisible watch on her wrist. "Thirty minutes."

Ymir and I were friends when we were younger. Actually, we were really close. She was even my first kiss. We used to be inseparable but I grew up and she grew mean. It was when highschool came around that I began to hate being around. She was just cruel to me, to herself, and to others. It was draining to even just exist in her cesspool of hate. Ymir could be sweet when she had wanted to be but it was rare to receive any love or support. However, when she loved me, she really loved me. She'd hold me so tight I was afraid I'd shatter but without her arms around me, I'd have shattered anyway. It was sophomore year when she had met a girl. Meeting Historia was the complete end of us. We weren't in love or anything simple of the sort, but it would have been nice of her to think about me first, or think of me at all.

"I'm so sorry, you surprised me, that's all." I hope my eyes aren't as wide as I think they are. A smirk still lingers on her face. She really was beautiful even after all these years. Ymir put her arms behind her head and stretched a bit. There was a tattoo of a triangle right above the inside of her elbow. I wonder what that meant.

Was it just a triangle? Maybe she had a matching one with Historia. Side note, I completely forgot her and I have matching shitty tattoos, just little stars by our ankles. We'd always wanted to go to a shop together to get professional ones but Ymir's garage was as classy as it got.

"How've you been?"

"Ah, (y/n.) I knew you'd be here, I bet your brainy ass is already psycho-analyzing me." She put her arms on the table in front of us.

Would she ever stop smiling?

"Why are you here? And I've been good, thanks for asking." I don't know if I'm making a playful joke or being snarky.

"I wouldn't mind learning a few tricks to get into people's heads. Besides, this class looked the most entertaining and you're here, so it must be my lucky day." She slides into the seat next to me. She leaned in close to me. "Are you wearing makeup?" This was going to be the longest class of my life.

click here to continue reading

[princeescaluswords]

I've been thinking about Munroe and wondering what about season 6 could have been different if her supernatural trauma was related to the nogitsune and the oni instead like in the hospital attack. I think it would be make her hatred of the pack a bit more compelling because they, especially Scott, actually did choose to save and protect Stiles regardless of the danger to other people and they could do something interesting with Scott and Stiles' guilt over it all. I also feel like it would be more believable for her to have supporters if they were other survivors who saw what they thought was the sheriff's son do something terrible and then have it completely covered up.

Do you think that's something that would have worked? How do you think it would have played out?

I think that your musings are inadvertently neglecting a very key part of Tamora Monroe's story. Unless I am mistaken (and feel free to correct me if I am) you're arguing that if her trauma had been directly connected to something the pack chose to do rather than something that they failed to stop, it would have made more of an impact. I agree that it would have certainly made her hostility toward the pack more personal.

However, I consider the fact that it wasn't due to a specific decision is vitally important dimension to her story. As usual, I'm going to preface my remarks by making it clear that Monroe is a villain, and my exploration of her motivations should not be taken as approval of her actions in any way.

To me, the central premise to Tamora Monroe's story isn't that she experienced trauma. A lot of people in the show experienced trauma and reacted to it in ways both good and bad. No, Monroe's fury arises from the way the main characters reacted to her trauma. She may have completely recovered from the damage the Beast did to her. She may have mourned the friends she lost on that school bus. What she can't accept is how unimportant the reaction made her seem. Something terrible happened to her but it was a side effect, a background detail to a trap made by a monster for others she saw as monsters.

In a bit of clever meta-narrative (with a bit of clear social commentary thrown in), Monroe existed as a minor victim, an extra designed, as T. S. Eliot put it, "to swell a scene or two." Her words to Corey in Said the Spider to the Fly (6x11) establish not only things about Corey's character but also hers.

Tamora: Look, I understand the need to keep up, to be recognized or noticed. Everybody feels invisible sometimes.

What Monroe went through wasn't given any importance. The bodies in the school bus were bait and afterwards, they were carted away never to be mentioned or dealt with again. If she hadn't survived, no one would have given her a second thought.

But she did survive, and even though she did, she still wasn't given enough importance -- enough value -- to be told what really happened to her. She figured it out on her own, and that is where her anger comes from. Her life didn't matter. That type of dismissal can be enraging, and she takes out that rage on those who she sees as acting that way in Raw Talent (6x12).

Monroe: I'm sorry. I should've told you. It's wolfsbane.

When I first heard that line, I was confused. Why would she say that to a werewolf she was hunting? However, it's clear on reflection that this line speaks directly to her motivation. Wolfsbane is dangerous to werewolves, so she should have told Brett that there was wolfsbane in the lacrosse ball, just as the Beast was dangerous to her, and she should have been told about the Beast. She is claiming an eye for an eye.

Her speech to the Sheriff in Werewolves of London (6x17) is also worth analyzing.

Monroe: Understand each other. Do you wanna know what I understand, Sheriff? Do you wanna know what I see in your little show and tell?

She speaks passionately because this is what should have happened way back after she survived the Beast. She should have been allowed to understand what was happening. She should have been listened to, but she didn't have any power. Only now, when she has power, are the people responsible willing to talk. She'll say that exact thing to Scott in After Images (6x13). Now that they're listening, she's going to do the talking.

Monroe: I see a sheriff unable to control the violence in his own county. A county he's sworn to protect. I see the same sheriff in way over his head. And not ready to believe the truth that's been staring him in the face for years.

It's clear that she thought she feels that people like the Sheriff were operating under false premises. They were supposed to keep the monsters away from people who couldn't protect themselves.

Monroe: I was told I was the victim of a wild animal attack. A bear. I was lied to. You lied to protect them over us.

The attack itself doesn't matter as much as the disregard. She was treated as a second-class citizen as opposed to monsters who can heal from stab wounds in a matter of minutes and grow claws and fangs at will. She was made to feel invisible, powerless, and unimportant.

Until she wasn't. Until she had enough power and enough followers to make them treat her differently.

So, what pushed her into become the woman who callously ordered Edgar the Werecoyote disposed of as trash? Well, she wouldn't be the first woman in Teen Wolf manipulated and used by a particularly selfish man to further his own ends.

Gerard: Someone who has been doing this a lot longer than you, but also someone who recognizes raw talent when he sees it.

Gerard had obviously been studying Monroe and figured out what I argue up above. It's not the wounds, it's the lies. It's the ignorance. Notice how many times during Season 6B Gerard emphasizes Monroe's importance or emphasizes how much she needs to learn, or emphasizes that this is what happens when the supernatural is unchecked. He's honed in on her psychology and uses her as a tactical advantage, one he's more than willing to discard once she's outlived her usefulness. Just as he did with Kate. Just as he did with Allison back in Season 2. It's the same thing -- take their feelings and twist them into action.

Monroe fit into Teen Wolf perfectly.

[cosmicjoke]

I am so glad anon asks are open again. I love talking to you and think you’re a great person but I am shy sometimes :(. Anyway I wanted to know your opinion on Armin. I think he’s a great character and he doesn’t get talked about a lot. Levi put his faith in him when giving him the serum and that was such an important part of Armin’s journey, I wonder if deep down he ever thought about Levi’s choice considering he probably really looked up to him as a leader/captain.

Hi there, and thank you so much for your kind words! That means a lot to me.

I love Armin, honestly. He's truly a great character, and highly complex.

I think his role in Levi's decision during the RtS arc gets severely overlooked and dismissed, usually with the intent to make it seem as if Levi cared more about Erwin than anyone else. But Armin plays a significant role in Levi's choice, which I actually wrote about here, if you're interested:

Basically, I think Armin was always meant to encompass this role in the story of hope. He symbolizes in many ways the hope of humanity, the possibility of a world without conflict, either internal or external. Like his conversation in the Paths with Zeke, he speaks about not needing to see any great purpose or object in life in order to also see the value in it and the value in being alive. Just being here, in and of itself, life's mere existence, should be enough to advocate its worth to anyone and the importance of preserving it. It shouldn't have to mean anything more than what it is to justify fighting for it.

Armin never really wants for anything to the point that it detracts from his happiness. He has dreams, but he's willing to forego those dreams and accept the possibility that they won't come true, too. And Armin's dream is a simple one. He wants to see the ocean. He doesn't want to change anything, he just wants to explore what's already there. There's a real sense of innocence and purity to Armin. He's extremely accepting and nonjudgmental. The world is what it is and he's okay with that.

Not that Armin doesn't have flaws or doesn't make mistakes. Speaking with one of my mutuals recently, they explained to me how while Armin was able to give up his dreams, the one thing he wasn't really able to give up on was Eren, and it's that failure on Armin's part that leads directly to the Rumbling happening. Because he consciously refused to accept that Eren intended to do harm or that his intentions were bad, he convinces everyone else to aid in getting Eren and Zeke to make contact. They actually fight to get Eren and Zeke together, because Armin couldn't accept that Eren was a bad person.

So he isn't able to accept everything the way it is wholesale. He's not perfect. He accepted the world for what it was, but he couldn't, at least until the end, accept Eren for what he was. In the end, though, Armin DOES accept Eren for what he is, and he still loves him, despite it all. That's true friendship, I suppose.

Anyway, yeah, those are just some thoughts off the top of my head, as a general assessment of Armin. He deserves more appreciation, that's for sure. He's vital to understanding so many themes of AoT itself.