#it sounds dumb but it’s true

[whumpy-wyrms]

hey how’s the next chapter of tllr coming along ?

hi anon!

honestly i feel like it’s around 70% done (at 4k words, it’s gonna be a long one lols). but honestly i’ve had like no motivation to write at all for the last couple weeks :( i’m trying tho

some encouragement would be nice i feel.. i Know my writing is good but my brain is making me think it’s shit >:( i hate feeling this way about the stuff i make

[sergle]

yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

[showtoonzfan]

So let me get this straight:

- Eve the original woman is a villain who wants to break up Lucifer’s relationship with his wife to get back at being blamed for taking the apple, so she disguises herself as Lilith and somehow Charlie and Lucifer don’t know this apparently.

- Alastor is no longer an interesting character with mysterious motives that are twisted/morally grey, but is just a good guy who all along was working with the real Lilith to protect Charlie

- Rosie is Lilith in disguise for some reason

- The big bad other than Eve is the “Root of all evil”- aka “Roo”, who looks like some random cowgirl

Viv is really something, I need to know what she’s on to come up with these dumbass ideas.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[this-aint-massachusetts]

[ciderjacks]

ocd is weird bc I definitely still have it, I just got really good at identifying it and shutting it down. Like I was taking down a gross medical sticker on my wall that for some reason I stuck up there last year, and my brain was like “no don’t do it. You’ll die if you do that” so I put it back on and my brain was like “or…maybe life will get way better if you take if off. And if you leave it life will get worse. Want to make that choice” and I was like really stumped over it, then suddenly I was like ohhhhh ocd you tricky devil… and tore the sticker off. I go thru this exact experience about thrice a week.

[shooteranatomy]

bro im tryna sleep can my neighbor not drill shit at 8am..... hes been doing it for a while now is this how dahmers neighbors felt

[haarute]

it's wild to me when people assume the things that i say are whole and concrete and not just part of an ever shifting process of consciousness that changes literally 5 seconds later with the following rumination.

you're telling me most people just have straightforward thoughts that they then just simply communicate? what???

[rage-mode-138]

TMA spoilers for episode 123 and beyond. If you haven't listened to the podcast, I recommend it, but this is my own therapeutic rant about how @jonnywaistcoat made me feel.

-

-

-

-

-

So. I have listened to the magnus archives three times at this point, and each time episode 123 gets me really hard. Johnathan Sims, the archivist, falls into a coma of six freaking months. While I did not experience six months, I did experience it for 50 days.

When I woke up, I had no idea what had really happened. I was vague on the entire situation, and I woke up in the middle of Covid with the world in its own tiny freaking apocalypse.

The voice acting John has in this scene is brilliant at expressing the feeling. Everything has continued around you. Things have changed the entire situation, has freaking changed, and you have to play catch up!

I missed Easter of 2020, but I didn't realize I had until 2021 because I got confused about what had happened to it the previous year. I had to be freaking reminded that it happened during my coma. While I was recovering my voice, my ability to move everything the world kept going. And you know what.

"There was just this great... gap of time where I wasn't". Where I wasn't appart of the world and God was that a terrifying thing to come to terms with.

There's this chunk of time before the coma, and after the Coma, that's so fuzzy to me, and being in rehabilitation until 2022 made everything seem like it didn't happen for 2 years. Like I wasn't part of the world. It's still hard to wrap my head around from time to time.

It hurts how vivid my dreams were in the coma. I had full on screaming matches with my mother, my bestfriend (ex girlfriend at the time, currently my girlfriend now) died in the dream, the world was coming to an end and I talked to a sweet little old lady who I am sure as heck was the grim reaper. It lasted from when I fell into the coma to when I got out and ironically my brain though I had spend 6 months in that coma, telling me it was the middle of October when it was only May.

I'm going to touch on that last dream because the conversation with Oliver in episode 121 it's Erie to listen to.

In the dream, I believe I was vaguely aware I was in a hospital asleep. I remember my mother fighting tooth and nail to keep me from being transferred, but when the hospital staff said that no more visitors were allowed, she scolded me. She told me I wasn't allowed to die. And I tried my hardest not to.

I had this older lady with a bob of white curly hair on the top of her head, and black scrubs came into my room. I remember her scrubs having fruits on it. Apples, bananas, and grapes. It was such a weird detail. But I remember because I was staring her down for what felt like days. I was exhausted, I wanted it to stop, but every time I would close my eyes, she would move closer. When I opened them again, she would move and sit back down in the chair by the door, smiling politely at me like she wasn't there to take me when I dropped my gaurd. After days of this routine, her standing up, inching closer to me, and me being reluctant to give up. She laughed at me. It was a small laugh, one of a parent who was aware of how fruitless a fight I was putting up before going to sleep. She said to me, "You really are determined"

Her voice was soft and soothing. Telling me it was alright. That I could trust her. I knew it was a lie, and I shook my head. And said I wasn't ready to go. That I didn't want to leave.

"Why?" That's all she said was why. A single word, but it was a lot to me. Why would I fight so hard. I hated my life, I didn't take care of myself, I had tried to leave the world before. So why, this time, was I so stubbornly holding on.

I was crying, and the tears hurt my eyes in the dream, but I told her I wasn't ready to go. That I wanted to try again and that I could make it different this time. She nodded at me and finally walked over without that ommission aura she carried over the rest of the time. She touched my cheek and told me, "Alright. You have this one shot. If I see you back here again, there won't be a next time." I nodded and she left.

I woke up after she talked to me. After I made my promise, my choice... like Johnathan did. She was my aspect of death, and i have a feeling I will be seeing her the next time I get ready to leave this earth.

Brains are funky squishy meat sacks that don't know reality. And I still struggle from time to time to process if this is reality. I have to check in with my friends and my loved ones if any of this is real.

But yeah. So I know how John felt after his coma. I know that desperate feeling to want to be near the one you love who you have been pushing away. And I know how it feels for people to move my freaking stuff while in my coma

Sleeping people don't need pens.

But I digress. That's it for this post. Maybe I'll post one on the other dreams I had during the coma. I have never really written them down because they are personal and a bit embarrassing if I'm going to be honest.

Thank you, jonnywaistcoat, for writing a damn good show. Thank you, @rqbossman , for producing it. I'm so happy I found this strange podcast by accident. I look forward to seeing what happens in The Magnus Protocol.

[growling]

Me whenever anybody interacts with me in a neutral-to-positive way for more than a few seconds: They are in deep romantic love with me. They think I'm the sexiest gender demon they ever met in their entire life and will come home growlussyless feeling empty and unfulfilled. They think about about me every day. We could have had so much more. I must be prepared for the moment they just can't take it anymore and confess their undying affection for my person, and I will turn them down initially but keep around as a test of their devotion so then I c

[sskk-manifesto]

!

[23meteorstreet]

you could tell me that literally anything happens in sunny and i’d believe you but if you’d have told me when i started season 1 that after mac comes out he immediately starts having dreams about almost kissing dennis i wouldn’t have believed you

[sleepygaymerdisease]

does henry know that henricus can turn into that cat or is it a secret

thats a good question. it's a secret for like, 2 years (the reason for henri keeping this a secret is a long story LOL) but henry eventually does find out and he thinks its like the most awesome thing ever. because like, henry likes the idea of animals but he is very nervous all the time and doesnt know how to interact with them and he worries that they wont understand him. which is normally true (sad) but henricus going cat mode means that he can get used to the idea of a cat in his house. and henricus trusts henry a lot so he will tenatively accept pets.

[clowninthecoffeehouse]

i want to draw so bad but i can’t focus because my head hurts and i know i will be in less pain if i get off my phone and out of bed but i can’t stand up without feelings violently dizzy i am going to explode i want to do something instead of wasting all my time

[lathrine]

when i say hexadecimal would be a smash hit with the queer crowd, this is what im talking about

[daz4i]

every time a native english speaker or someone who grew up in a culturally christian society belittles me for not knowing something that's obvious to them, they should owe me 500$ i think. your experiences are not fucking universal bitch. don't be a cunt