i have so many things to say but at the same time i am speechless.
i've been sobbing and crying for the whole day straight.
i have never thought a day would happen when i would feel this way because of a person i have never even known in real live
the only regret i will have is that i didn't have a chance to meet him in person and just say "thank you. for inspiration. for dreams. for everything". i wish i did discover them much earlier but alas.
Reita, my dearest, may you rest in peace 💔
you will rock forever 🔥
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honestly i wish i could meet up w online friends but i am so filled w terror that my anxiety would make me so offputting and hateable instantly n then i wouldnt have any friends left HBJJBA,,,,, like,,, i cannot express just how bad my anxiety is between my avpd and never learning how 2 mask my autism i am probably the most naturally unlikeable person in existence n then id have to live w that maybe if i had just figured out how to fix myself first and make myself perfect n palatable then i wouldnt hav fucked it up like every other interaction irl
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au where majima fly kicks the doc for having the gall of getting romantically involved with a patient. thats a break of the medical code of ethics bro.
NO DUDE TRULY TRULY I SAID THAT /IMMEDIATELY/ WHEN I GOT TO THAT POINT IN 0!! I quite literally like. Live messaged my friend my whole playthrough and I just said "UM? That's unethical as all shit what the fuck?" Like Makoto is recovering from a gunshot wound, regaining her vision and she's just lost her brother- and here's this little doctor who is almost certainly at least a good few years if not maybe a decade older saying he's in love with his patient? Nah. Wack. Someone smack him or I will.
Also a tiny detail that makes me even sadder is that Makoto tells Majima when she's massaging him 18 years later that not even her husband knows that story, I.e the story of what happened to her- and I know the writers at rgg probably weren't thinking too deeply about it but to me that detail is heartbreaking because that means Makoto has carried this big, tragic history around on her shoulders in silence all this time- not even her husband knows... That's just why I can't agree with everyone who says Makoto got a happy ending. She lost everyone, every single person dear to her and not only that, but she can't even share the full truth of it with anyone.
And then on Majima's front, I can't even be truly mad at him for this because it just shows how low his self worth is- Any random civilian is more worthy and safe for Makoto than he is, so he'll stiffen his upper lip, tell the guy to hurry up and admit his feelings and quietly walk away into the street, his heart in shreds because, again, Makoto deserves better than him. And surely a doctor is better than him? It's a respectful profession- A profession of good men, men not like him. so sure this random doctor who is claiming to be in love with his traumatised patient must be better for Makoto than he ever could be... Oh Majima, I don't know if should kick you or kiss you.
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City people long for the countryside and green in such a cute way, they lay on the grass in parks with their little blankets, the sunbathe there, the sit under the shadow of a big tree, go in walks in the park, the park is always full, all of them are no matter the area, people are touching nature constantly, the plants are on the window or on a small terrace where their pots barely fit, there are countless flower shops and decorations with plants both real and plastic.
As obvious and stupid this may sound for people living in the city it actually surprised me when I went to the capital, in all green areas with grass there was someone laying there like a lizard catching the good hours of sun in the morning. I live in a small town, few people and surrounded by nature, it's not exactly green and grassy and field like but I can sure take of my shoes when I go on walks and go barefoot without any concern, I can sit on any rock I want and under any tree, I know their names and species and some of their history. I know the places that hold water and where they are, I know where rabbits, snakes and foxes live. I see them everyday. People in the city don't, they don't know how that feels on a daily basis, they seek nature because they lack it, I seek the noise and activity of the city because I lack it too, but when it becomes too much I can go back home where the air is clean and my dog is fat and my other dog jumps off the most ridiculously high and dangerous places and lands perfectly, where everything is dusty and the almond trees are growing their gorgeous slick leaves and fuzzy fruits. Where do they go when life is too much? Does the grass make them feel connected to their own nature?
Does it hurt when they go back home after the park closes?
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