#it was nice talking to her
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I updated the breeder on what's been happening, and she called Belphie out for being bald
#belphegor#it was nice talking to her#she said that in her 12 years of breeding she's only seen 2 cases of FIP#so it really was just extraordinary bad luck that Belphie developed it#also I think my ignorance played a part in me thinking things were normal for so long!!#I thought we were just in the bald phase of Devon Rex kittenhood#TURNS OUT HE SHOULD HAVE GROWN FUR BY NOW#AHHHHHHH!
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i'm really so curious how deeply tbhx is gonna go with its whole premise of "heroes are made and gain powers based on trust" because i really wasn't anticipating that
1) moon/xiao yueqing has teleportation-based powers but because everyone wants her and nice to stick together, her teleportation leads back to nice which was INSANE to me
and
2) lin ling is becoming increasingly more worried about being clean and perfect which is a side effect of nice's image of perfection which is indicating that this whole trust system can have mental effects??? and that's horrifying to me???
we are 2 episodes in, how deep is this gonna go
#pj talks#y'know this kinda makes how moon didn't rly fight during the first ep fight make a little more sense#'cause like if her only thing is being able to tp to nice and they're kinda in a very enclosed space#where the termination letters are getting shot out and all then she can't do much#also moon's entire job kinda being planned from the start even from when she started travel-blogging.......#we're probably never gonna see moon again after that episode and thank GOD for that go get your life back queen#but thank you for the bits of your life you did tell us#i'm eating this shit up#eh y'know what#to be hero x#need to see other ppl speculate on how bad this could get#also need other ppl to be rly deeply worried about the mental side effects thing w me#bc i was considering that#before the episode#is it possible for ppl to believe so hard in lin ling being nice that lin ling starts to just forget who he is#but i was like. pshhhhhh no right.#that couldn't happen right?? you can't literally affect his brain and sense of self right??#um well. i'll be the first to say i was Wrong
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Those were Vanessa's friends too in the FNAF movie
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa afton#fnaf vanessa#vanessa shelly#fnaf missing children#fnaf mci#abby schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#OKAY time for your daily angst now#I can not stop thinking about Vanessa’s story in the fnaf movie#it was my take away that the ghost kids were actually Vanessa’s friends#and that’s why she cares sm for them#she builds forts and checks up on them etc#the ghost kids even tells Abby that Vanessa is nice and they like her#SO I think those were Vanessa’s friends#and in some way she’s happy Abby can talk to them#cause she doesn’t want them to be alone#Vanessa I’m so sorry this all happened to you 🩵
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Those two were so unexpectedly sweet they just kinda adopted each other with the third game like yeah we're in this together now
#we don't talk about the gif quality#that team litteraly the best team#grandma's trying and she fucks up a lot but it is nice to see her try#and for hyun-ju to have more people who care about her#because she deserves the world and everything else ok#so heartbreaking that hyun-ju had to lose everyone in the outside world only to then find people who care about her in a death game#cho hyunju#jang geumja#squid game#squid game spoilers
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drawings from paleo expedition to dagestan, done right on the trip. sometimes messy when it was cold and rainy, but i won't correct it. i think it's cool to leave it just the way it was done, and not retouch it after. there will be more drawings later, but those will be done from home
#i need to draw for 2 museums at least to then send it to them as a gift cuz people there were so nice???? AAAA#and yeah im definitely doing back#maybe in autumn... who knows#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#and#paleoart#???#in a way it is i guess#also i usually don't share things from my sketchbook. but these drawings hold so many nice memories#of clouds that hide top of the mountains#of sitting on a rock#drawing and seeing a scorpion vibing next to u (tiny friend!)#of leaning on a big cow and almost falling asleep on a field with her after the rain#of... forgetting the pain too#of not wanting to even talk about the wonderful time i've had. because it was only for me to remember#so much happened up in the mountains that i'll never forget#thank u big rocks and soil and grass and apricot trees i love you#...#paleoland#fieldbook_barghest_land
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wanted to draw a woman tonight
#touhou#touhou project#koakuma#still really happy with this design#i just wanted to make her sexy. she deserves it.#i like to characterize her where shes Unknowingly alluring. she doesnt mean to be#she just wants to talk about a nice book she read or discuss ms patchoulis recent spellwork and how interesting it is to her
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Werewolf Steve who is in wolf form playing fetch with Eddie and Robin. Robin's tosses are high but not far, and Steve dances in circles under the stick until it comes back down and he can catch it. Eddie tosses far but not high, and Steve always has to dart to catch it before it hits the ground.
Eddie has the stick in his hand, looks at Steve then the stick and back a couple of times. And Steve, yeah he can be patient, but now is not the time for Eddie to contemplate! It is time for him to throw. Steve let's out a little bark that snaps Eddie out of his thoughts. Eddie winds his arms back, Steve wiggles slightly as he gears up to run. Eddie throws and Steve bolts-
Except there is no stick. It takes a full second before Steve realizes. He turns back and Eddie still has the stick in his hands. Robin is cackling, arms wrapped around her middle as she wheezes. Eddie is laughing too, tears steaming down his face.
Steve huffs and turns on his heels away from them. "Baby, I'm sorry!" Eddie calls in between laughter. The stick lands pathetically next to Steve. Steve glances down at it, makes sure they are watching, turns his nose up at it and walks away.
#Steve is like I didnt want to play fetch anyways thats a stupid game I'm more dignified then that#Is absolutely the one who wanted to play fetch and get energy out#Robin keeps laughing about Steve's face and her best representation is simply D:#Which Steve narrowed his wolf eyes and flattened his ears at her before huffing and turning away again#Eddie is apologizing and trying to pat his head (which okay feels nice but he is TRYING to be mad here)#Werewolf!Steve Harrington#Stranger Things#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson#Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson#Steddie#You telling me Eddie wouldn't be into a werewolf get out of here#Eddie is a certified monsterfu-#Jade is Talking
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Steve with crazy girlfriend energy but solely about his friends. He’s a pretty chill boyfriend, actually.
#Steve looking at a guy trying to flirt with Eddie: Yeah. he’s not going to notice bc im wearing my nice jeans my guy#Dustin: *canceling plans so he can hang out with Eddie*#Steve: *drawing a picture of Eddie just so he can gouge out his eyes*#Robin once mentioned a girl in band and Steve was hyping Robin up to go talk to her#until he realized that Robin didn’t want to date her. she wanted to be her friend and then…#Steve: well she sounds like a bitch and her laugh is annoying#Tommy and Carol fucking loved this about him btw#steve harrington
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Nobody has suffered at the hands of pokemon fans more than nice rivals in 3d games. Seriously nobody gave a shit about nice rivals until XY the worst I've heard is that helping Wally catch his ralts takes too long and May/Brendan's starter never fully evolves. They were both nice. Barry, lucas/dawn, Bianca, cheren, N, and Hugh were all nice. Silver and Blue were literally the only really actually mean rivals until Gladion. What about Shauna made people start frothing at the mouth. Everybody needs to apologize to Trace right now he wasn't even a replacement for Blue like Blue was in that game doing his own damn thing. And the audacity of some people to beg for mean rivals back and then treat Carmine the way they do. The nostalgia poisoning in the pokemon fandom is making people hallucinate.
#Pokemon#Mine#assorted musings#So basically right off my hau thing I saw somebody being mean to hop again#People just do NOT like Bede either??????? Like in one breathe I will hear people say how awful it is hop is nice#and act like Bede isn't literally in the same game as him. And shares most of her screen time with him. Guys...#This goes for gladion and hau too actually. 3d games have more mean rivals than 2d ever did WHAT are some of you people TALKING about
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Me discussing the necessity of masks with another masked individual
#covid conscious#covid memes#Hi I'm very tired but I had a scintillating conversation with a customer who insisted on masking before she interacted with me (also masked#It was so fucking nice ;A;#btw I do online pickup stuff so her window was rolled up until she got her mask on#We talked for a bit about how important masking is and I JUST. AH. ANOTHER EDUCATED SCHOLAR.#We are not alone my friends. Stay safe and mask up
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Jaiden: How did you guys even find out that, um... Chayanne's admin plays Cucurucho? [Reading chat] Ohhh, accidentally played the soundboard as Chayanne? That's hilarious actually. I wanna see the clip of Phil reacting to that.
Jaiden: I love– I love the way that Phil laughs, it's just such a hearty, genuine laugh. The few times that I've made him laugh, I've felt really good about myself! [Embarrassed laugh] Because he makes me feel much funnier than I am, you know?
Jaiden talks about silly QSMP moments and laughter. 💜
[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
—
TRANSCRIPT
Jaiden: How did you guys even find out that, um... Chayanne's admin plays Cucurucho? Did they just tell- tell Phil? Did- were they just hangin' out? [Reading chat] "The same username"? Ohhh. [Reading chat] "It was a mistake"? ...Wait, what was the mistake? What do you mean "it was an accident"?
Jaiden: Ohhh, accidentally played the soundboard [Laughs] as Chayanne? That's hilarious actually. [Laughs] What di- what did he say, was he just like, "Ha ha ha"? [Laughs]
[Old clip of Bad, Fit, and the Eggs] Bad: –have one of the things I'm looking for. Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] HA HA HA Bad: What was that? Fit: You heard that too, right? Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] NO Bad: ...What the fudge was that. Fit: Wait–
Jaiden: [Reading chat] "He said 'no'" [Laughs] That's so funny. [Laughs] I wanna see the clip of Phil reacting to that. I love– I love the way that Phil laughs, it's just such a hearty, genuine laugh.
[Clip of Phil laughing]
Jaiden: The few times that I've made him laugh, I've felt really good about myself! [Embarrassed laugh] Because he makes me feel much funnier than I am, you know?
[Old clip of Phil and Jaiden] Jaiden: Oh, that's awesome! And then it– [She gets snagged by the machine] Jaiden: Oh– Ahh! Phil: Be careful! Jaiden: AAAAAᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ — [Her screams fade as she's dragged away] Phil: [Laughs] There she goes! [Hits his desk and laughs]
[Another old clip plays] Jaiden: [Singing along to "It's Been So Long" from FNAF] It's been so long, since I've last seen my– Phil: What is happening? [Laughs, then laughs more seeing Jaiden's mask] PFTTT– [Laughs] Jaiden: [Laughing] Phil: Jesus Christ–
Jaiden: It's just like, such a good laugh! I wish I had a– a like, more-hearty laugh. You know? You know what I'm talking about? My laugh is kinda like... Uh, you know how you guys compare Foolish's laugh to like, the... window cleaner? Like a– [Squeaky window-cleaning sound]
[Short clip of Foolish covering his face with one hand and making the squeaky laugh he's known for, slapping the arm of his chair as he keeps laughing]
Jaiden: I can't do it– [Laughs] It doesn't sound like that. I think mine is like... Because like, I do like, "Hee hee hee!" and I also like, breathe in, like– [Squeaky sound] You know? So I think– My laugh kinda just sounds like... Like, after you spray the window, and you're like, cleaning it. Like, wiping it down with a cloth. You know? That's what my laugh sounds like. I wish it was more of like a, "Ha ha ha."
[Short clip of Cucurucho saying "HA HA HA"]
Jaiden: But, I mean, I'm not complaining. I don't think– I don't think "laugh anxiety" is something that I wanna– is not a path I would really wanna go down. [Quiet laugh] It's like- sometimes, you just gotta pick your battles. [Laughs]
Jaiden: [Reading chat] "You have a good laugh" Thank you. [Quiet laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#QSMP#Philza#Foolish Gamers#Cucurucho#QSMP Admins#(Sorta)#Phil#Jaiden#Foolish#September 5 2023#Timestamp: 13m 15s#Is this clip a little quiet? I can't tell if my clips are too quiet or if it's a me problem#Anyway – I've been thinking about this clip for AGES and finally stumbled across the timestamp the other day#Jaiden's got a nice laugh but I don't know how I'd describe it either#Anyways re: her comments; Phil does have a very hearty laugh. It's very warm and does make you smile#And since we're talking about laughs –#Quackity's another person whose laugh is very contagious#Pac's makes me smile too but I'll admit that's because I'm extremely biased#I'm rambling here but#If I were to very summarize those three's laughs (with my very biased opinion as a long-time viewer of 2 of them) I'd say:#Phil's laugh is very warm and friendly - and like Jaiden said - genuine#Quackity's laugh is very bubbly (for lack of a better word) It has so much energy you can't help but crack a smile too#Pac's laugh when he's embarrassed is very cute and it makes me smile
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⭐ HL x animal crossing ⭐
something for fun bc why not......i have free will their personality types?? maybe?? : seb = smug clora = peppy poppy = normal/sweet imelda = snooty ominis = lazy (or cranky tbh) leander = jock natty = sisterly
#when i was playing new horizons i bought SO MANY nook tickets on ebay bc i was desperately looking for julian..he was my bff on the 3ds one#i have his framed photo....but i never found him😔#im not 100% on the personalities especially cloras and poppys.... but what i do know is that natty is DEFS the sisterly vibe#and imelda is definitely snooty LOL. i almost put jock for her but they just talk about working out a lot and are too nice BAHAH#plus the personalities are gendered in AC so i tried to keep that the same#also i know poppy isnt mousey as a person/shes really brave and fearless but idk... she just gives me mouse vibes anyway🥹she smol#and natty was an easy choice bc i just copied her gazelle form...imelda was also super easy obvs LOL#for ominis i wasnt sure whether to do a cat (bc they nap a lot) or the chipmunk but i just think the chipmunk is cuter LMAO#and leander i almost did horse or anteater (for the long face) but the goat just suits him perfectly i think#omg wait anteater would be perfect for amit actually ....and garreth would be a lion#dont ask why seb is randomly the only one not in his uniform... (its bc the wolf ref i was using was also in a letterman and it works LOL)#choccyart#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#ominis gaunt#imelda reyes#poppy sweeting#leander prewett#natsai onai#sebastian x mc
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“Wow. You’re rather strong, Mydei. You must lift plenty of women if you’re so practiced.”
“Do you look for arguments in every corner?”
“I see. So you find me argumentative, is that it?”
Guys 🥹 guys look what my sweetest Manu sent to me for my one year anniversary of my littol blog 🥹 ily Manu and ily my little friends on here that I’ve made in a year
#[ selfships ]#[ myriv ]#selfship art#mydei#god organizational tags are so exhausting but I need them#anyway guys 🥹 talking to manu after a while was so nice I yapped to her so much for a bit skdjfsjsj#I missed her so much manu if ur seeing this ilysm I hope you are thriving and living ur best life u deserve it#I am so happy tumblr let us cross paths in this little universe we coexist in wahhh
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The hardest part of proper forcefem by far is making her confident
“these dresses pull to much attention” and you deserve it, you look beautiful in them and everyone who sees you will wish they could wear them
“I hate how I look” and I love how you look, truly you’re adorable, and you deserve to feel that way
“I’m not really a girl” well cutie you look like one, those little details in your actions, if you’re not a girl then I don’t know who is
But sadly making her internalise it means you need to say it over and over and over again, each time she accepts herself a little bit more
Until she finally knows that’s she a beautiful girl that looks amazing in feminine clothing and won’t let anyone tell her otherwise
#until then#all that can be done is continuing to dote on her#but that’s always a pleasure isn’t it?#.#forcefem#i-like-talking#..#sry for lack of posts lately!#(more and more stuff keeps getting busy! I might not be Aro x3)#I hope you have a nice day cutie!
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au where mel makes daily “day in the life” vlogs and they’re all cozy content like. romanticized med school/residency core. and frank has been watching them for ages before she starts working at the pitt. he’s kinda obsessed he doesn’t know what it is, he just likes the vibe and leaves comments all the time she’s his favorite youtuber he downloaded tik tok specifcally to see her videos. but all her videos are faceless so he doesn’t realize that it’s her when they start working together.
#i’m imagining she’s got a smaller following so she definitely recognizes the url of the guy who always leaves nice comments.#he’s always first comment he’s got the notifs ON#he watches her videos to sleep#kingdon#langdonmel#milky talks
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