#it was worse because we Had to put our cameras on and I also found out that this is a thing for EVERY CLASS

[fingertipsmp3]

The class went better and worse than I expected

[bejeweledreverie]

Where The Ocean Waves Met My Anxious Heart And Your Strong Embrace

wc: around 1.5k

warnings: reader almost drowning (as a flashback), mentions of fear of death, panic attack, written in 1st person, english is not my first language, ooc rafe?, fluff, not fully proofread

a/n: AAAA my first fic and i am not sure how to feel about it. truly hope it makes sense. comment if you want to be added to the taglist for future fics (ideally would love to put out one fic every week but we'll see how that goes ;-; )!! if you liked this, please comment and reblog <333

p.s. can't decide if the title fits this at all

~

I never liked him. In fact, I want to gag anytime the name ‘Rafe Cameron’ leaves someone's mouth. He had somehow (unsurprisingly) lived up to his title in the Outer Banks, the Kook Prince. An arrogant and cocky asshole was all that he was to me.

I never really cared about the whole Pogues and Kooks thing. I was friends with both, in fact Kie, Pope, John B and JJ were some of my closest friends. Just because I live in Figure Eight, doesn’t make me better than those who live on the Cut. That is what my parents always taught me, since both of them also used to be Pogues.

But I was never gonna live it down when it came to the eldest Cameron offspring. He always calls me ‘the rip-off Kook’.

Sarah and I have been best friends since forever, but I never got along with Rafe. Ever. Even when we were kids, he always annoyed me, trying and often succeeding at pissing me off or upsetting me. 

You would think that we would’ve grown out of our childish antics as time went on, but it only got worse. We could never pass each other without sending glares or saying snarky remarks.

It’s a Friday night in late June. My family and I are at Cameron's for our annual summer barbecue. 

I had left my camera there a couple days prior after a sleepover with Sarah. As always, I was tasked to document the gathering, so I went inside to look for it.

And that is why I found myself in Rafe’s room, looking for my camera, that Sarah had left there for some unknown reason to me.

I had been in there a couple times before, but I never had the chance to check it out completely.

I was surprised to find the wall behind his bed covered in photos. Was he also into photography?

My eyes drifted to the window that overlooked the front yard of Tannyhill. 

There was soft music playing, as our families were conversing, sipping on wine and enjoying the food. My need to capture this moment became unignorable. But as I turned to grab my camera from his desk, I saw Rafe standing behind me. I flinch from his presence.

“Jesus, can you not creep upon people like that?” I say.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, sweetheart,” he answers, a lazy smirk on his lips.

I roll my eyes at the nickname, turning back to the window.

“What are you doing in my room, Y/L/N?” he asks, as he moves to stand next to me.

“Came to get this,” I picked up the camera from the desk and prepared to snap the photo I was planning on taking before Rafe interrupted me.

“I find it hard to believe that you only came to take your camera, you wanted to snoop and find something to blackmail me with,” he says, jokingly accusing me with a smirk on his face.

“Oh Cameron, I have known you for over a decade, pretty sure I have enough dirt on you as it is,” I laugh slightly, as I adjust the camera settings.

“Really, because in all these years you have never used it on me.” 

“Knowledge is power, Rafael. Don’t expect me to play all of my cards out at once,” I say, zooming in a little bit on the party in the yard.

Once I’m finished taking the photos, I turn to Rafe, finding him already staring at me. I’m used to receiving glares from him, but this time his eyes held something else. An emotion I can’t describe. His gaze was intense.

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I turned to look at the photo covered wall.

“I didn’t know you were into photography,” I say, absentmindedly admiring each photo.

Rafe looks down at his shoes, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I, uh, always wanted to try it and I ended up liking it a lot.”

My eyes settle on one particular photo. It’s a photo of the ocean, which appears to be right before the storm.

I look at the date in the bottom right corner and my body freezes. 

I can feel the water filling my lungs and I can hear the storm again. The fear of death clouds my brain. 

All of a sudden I’m hiccuping for breaths and I feel my legs give out.

…

It was supposed to be a stupid dare, but my stubbornness knows no boundaries. 

When JJ jokingly challenged me to surf in the storm, I should’ve just laughed it off, but I didn’t.

Everything was going well, until the wave threw me off the board and I was pushed underwater.

The storm had gotten stronger, so did the waves, and I could barely breathe in when I came up, as another wave pushed me below the surface. Safe to say I was drowning. 

I was so scared, but I couldn’t scream out for help. My limbs were burning from trying to stay above water and slowly I gave in. 

Suddenly, I felt strong arms wrap around me and attempt to pull me out.

Then it all went black.

…

I felt Rafe’s arms wrap around me to keep me from falling as I choked out a sob. It was like I was experiencing that day all over again. I couldn’t breathe properly and I was shaking like crazy.

“Hey, Y/N, hey! Look at me. You’re safe, you’re not in the water. Just breathe.”

His proximity, my almost drowning, it was too much for me. I tried to wriggle out his grip, failing, as his arms around me only tightened.

“It’s okay, you are safe. I am here.”

I finally let myself collapse into him, sobbing into his chest. He started to rub my back soothingly, while whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

The blurry images of the waves crashing still flooded my brain.

“I thought I was gonna die,” I sobbed

His arms only tightened around me hearing that sentence.

Once I was calm enough, I pulled away slightly. Rafe was already staring at me, and once again, I couldn’t describe the emotion behind his eyes. Was it pityness? Worry? Or was it care?

No, there is no way he cares about me. We hate each other. Right?

I find myself staring back into his captivating blue eyes.

And then the puzzle pieces start falling into place.

“You saved me that day,” I state, my eyes widening with the realization.

Rafe looks away, his hold on me loosening. 

Oh my god. That’s why he knew what my panic attack was about. That’s why after the accident he didn’t talk to me for weeks. Does he actually care about me?

“Rafe, why did you never tell me?” I ask, my hand on his jaw, turning his head so he looks at me.

He sighs, before getting up and walking towards his photo covered wall. He takes off the picture of the ocean from the wall and gestures to me to sit on his bed. 

“I, uh,” he starts nervously, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want things to change between us."

I sat down in front of him, waiting for him to elaborate, nervous as to where this was going.

“Y/N, no matter what happened, you were always there to call me out on my bullshit, whether that was treating my sister poorly or bullying others. You always knew how to put me in my place and I didn’t want that to change.” 

I look at him, surprised. 

The boy who pulled on my braids in elementary school, the boy who knew which buttons to push to annoy me, that same boy was now sitting in front of me telling me that I am the only thing in his life that he can count on.

He worriedly flips the photo to the other side and hands it to me. I take it and look at the writing on the back of it.

Once I read it, it didn’t take long for our lips to meet for a gentle kiss that is filled with years of pent up emotions and feelings that we didn’t know were there.

His hands are gently cupping my face, as if he was afraid I would break.

When we break apart, a little breathless and dizzy, I once again look at the inscription of the photo and I know that I have never been so sure about something in my life before. Somehow everything that had happened over the last 10 years made perfect sense. And even the accident made sense, because without it, we wouldn’t be here right now smiling shyly at each other.

On the back of the photo, in squiggly handwriting, were written 6 words.

The day I almost lost her.

~

@winterrrnight @h34rtsformilli

[kaunis-sielu]

Bad Cop

You live in a safe part of town. Being married to a cop Steve wasn’t about to put his family at risk if he could help it. He’s worked hard, you both had, but he’d made Captain in department record time and then you’d had Thomas.

Thomas’s favorite part of the day was when Daddy came home. Steve would come in, his uniform a little less crisp than it was when he left, his smile a little sadder and his eyes a little more exhausted. He’d scoop up Tommy, swing him over his head and pretend to eat his belly, much to a scream laughing Tommy’s delight. Then he’d look at you with those tired, eyes and curl an arm around your shoulders to pull you in for a kiss.

You tried not to worry about him while he was at work. You tried not to talk about his work unless he brought it up. But it wasn’t easy.

Steve is like clockwork, so when you hear someone at the door you’re confused. He shouldn’t be home, not yet. You pull up the camera and to your horror see a man in a black ball cap trying to see into your home.

You’re calling Steve before you even process what you’re doing.

“Hey Honey,”

“Someone is trying to break in.” You tell him sprinting up the stairs and to where Thomas is sleeping.

“What.”

“Someone is trying to break in!”

“Buck, my place. Now.” Steve says, “where are you Honey?”

“Thomas’ room. He’s still napping.” You whisper you can hear him sprinting.

“If you hear anything breaking get him and get in the closet okay? We’re already on our way. We don’t want the sirens on because we don’t want him to know where we are.”

“Okay.”

“Two minutes Honey.” You’ve never loved living in a small town more. Then you hear glass shatter.

“Oh no. Glass.”

“Get Thomas, and get in the closet. Do not come out until I come get you okay?”

“Okay.” You whisper, you know he can hear the fear in your voice as you make your way to the little bed that Tommy sleeps in now and scoop him up. Whoever is in your home must not realize you’re there, he’s not being quiet by any means. You hope that Thomas will go back to sleep but when you look over at him those bright blue eyes are looking right at you.

“Baby, we’ve gotta be super quiet okay? We’re playing hide and seek and we don’t want to get found okay?”

“Daddy?” He asks sleepily and you shush him gently.

“Soon. But we have to be so quiet.” How aren’t Steve and Bucky here yet? Your heart is in your throat as you listen to the feet come upstairs. “Steve. Upstairs.” You whisper into the phone holding Thomas tightly. Luckily your two year old seems to understand something isn’t okay.

“I can see the house Honey. I’m going to hang up because we’re coming in hot. I love you. Stay there.”

Nothing in your life has sounded worse that the disconnect tone.

You hear Thomas’ door open and feet come into the room but quickly leave. The only real valuable item in the room is the baby monitor. Then you hear it.

“Don’t you fucking move. Put your hands up! Put your fucking hands up!” Steve yells and Thomas looks at the door and squeals,

“Daddy!”

“You picked the wrong ass house man.” You hear Bucky say just before the closet door is pulled open and your husband yanks you to him.

“Oh thank god.” He breathes into your neck before kissing Thomas on top of his head. Then he presses a searing kiss to your lips.

“They okay Cap?” A third voice calls as two more officers come upstairs. Bucky hands off the man in the hat to the younger officer, Parker you think, and you give Sam a little smile.

“We’re okay.”

“I’m taking the rest of the day.” Steve tells Bucky who nods then heads out of the house.

“You don’t have to.”

“Honey, he broke a window in the house, I’m not leaving you here with a broken window.” Steve says kissing you again, “Also, I need this Honey. Never been so scared in my life.”

“Daddy,” Thomas reaches for Steve.

“Hey buddy, Dad’s gonna change first.” He doesn’t love holding Thomas for too long with all of his gear on, which you appreciate. “Come with me?” He asks you and you weave your fingers through his. Steve presses a kiss to the back of your hand and leads you out of the room. You go to your bedroom where his gun safe is, this one only opens with his fingerprints because you didn’t want little eyes watching and figuring out a code. Even if he couldn’t reach now that wouldn’t be the case forever. Steve puts his mace, taser and gun all in the case then changes quickly. You and Thomas sit on the bed, well you sit and Thomas practices his body slams on your pillows.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks looking over at you.

“Yea, I just can’t believe it happened.” You tell him. “I’m glad the station is so close.”

“Me too.”

“Did you recognize him?”

“No, why?”

“I’m just wondering if it was a targeted attack or if it was really just bad luck on his part.”

“Until we hear otherwise it was just bad luck okay?” He says making his way to the side of the bed. “You did everything right.” He tells you cupping your face in his hands, you didn’t realize how much you’d needed to hear that. Steve leans in to kiss you when Thomas realizes that his dad is fair game to play with now.

“Put your fucking hands up Daddy!” You both freeze a breath away from one another.

“Did he?” Steve murmurs,

“Yup.” You affirm and he groans softly. You press a quick kiss to his lips. “This one is all you Rogers.” You tease as Thomas yells, “Put your fucking hands up Daddy! You’re the bad guy!” Steve groans softly dropping his forehead to your shoulder and you have to bite back a laugh.

This should be interesting.

Tag list:

@foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @annielr @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @patzammit @wonderlandfandomkingdom @abschaffer2 @capsiclesdoll @killcomet @sass-masterkittenmama

[slut-taylorsversionnn]

summary: part 1 of tom blyth x med student (idk how many parts this will be so just enjoy!) also this is taking place pretty much modern day when tom is filming part 2 of season 2 of billy the kid.

mackenzie blaire was my best friend and roommate. we met our sophomore year at nyu when her boyfriend had broken up with her OVER TEXT and i found her in the bathroom at a bar sobbing her eyes out. i was at the time getting over a very toxic situation ship so we immediately hit it off and have been roommates and best friends ever since. she was currently pursuing her acting career while i was in my 4th year of med school. mackenzie had starred in billy the kid alongside tom blyth and ever since then let’s just say i had developed a crush on him. me and mackenzie had gone to see the ballad of songbirds and snakes in theaters together and let’s just say my crush had gotten ten times worse. so tonight was the people’s choice awards and tom and mackenzie were both nominated for season 2 of billy the kid. and of course mackenzie picked me to be her plus one!

“i am soo nervous.” i said pouring mackenzie and myself a cup of coffee.

“you will be fine and tom will be obsessed with you by the end of the night, trust me!” she said.

“but kenz you are the outgoing and bold one, me not so much. this is why you’re the actress and i’m still in college.” i sighed, med school was super interesting and everything i thought it would be but sometimes seeing how successful kenzie was kinda made me jealous.

“ok first of all, you are like the smartest person i know. and you are so funny so please don’t get yourself down. you are so positive about everyone else, it’s time for you to be happy for yourself!” kenzie always knew what to say.

“you’re so right. i am just going to enjoy myself and we are going to have the best time regardless that i might get rejected by the single hottest guy on the planet, tom blyth.” i laughed.

i was enjoying my coffee and reading my book when my phone buzzed. i picked it up to see that tom blyth started following me on instagram. i sprinted into mackenzie’s room.

“TOM JUST FOLLOWED ME ON INSTAGRAM!” i pretty much shouted at her.

“oh my gosh y/n! this is huge!! i have been texting him on and off today and i told him you were quite the catch soo….”

“what exactly did you say???” i love how she just casually brought up that she was texting tom blyth like what.

“just how charming and sweet and funny you are. i guess that made him want to go check out your insta and he must’ve liked what he saw.” she said eyebrows wiggling.

“now i literally cannot wait to get to see him tonight! this is actually insane am i dreaming right now??”

she laughed, “i’m so happy for you! looks like its time to get ready, tom won’t know what hit him when you get onto that red carpet!”

we walked into our shared bathroom. it was perfect to get ready because of the huge double sink vanity.

“kenz you have no idea how excited i am! the nerves are like completely gone and i just can’t believe i actually get to come with you!”

“yay, y/n i am so happy you get to come too. like who else would i want to party it up with on a red carpet?” she laughed and we started putting on our makeup. i loved getting all glammed up and mackenzie curled my hair. i finally put on my yellow floor length dress that was absolutely stunning. it hugged my body perfectly and had a slit that came up the side. i then slipped on my gold heels and stepped out to see mackenzie in her gorgeous coral dress.

“omg y/n you are STUNNING! tom isn’t going to be able to take his eyes off of you!!” mackenzie exclaimed.

“mackenzie you literally look like a disney princess right now, that dress was made for you!!” we definitely picked out our dresses to match each other and man we were going to kill it on the red carpet.

we stepped out of our car and i was immediately overwhelmed by the flashing of cameras and the amount of people at this event. i felt like a celebrity myself with all the pictures being taken of me and mackenzie. all of a sudden i heard someone saying mackenzie’s name. i turned around and bam there was tom blyth.

“tom!! it is so great to see you!” kenzie said leaning in for a hug. oh my goodness he looked even better in person if that was even possible. THE tom blyth was hugging my best friend. like obviously they had acted together in billy the kid and every time i watched it that felt insane to me but seeing this in person was crazy.

“mackenzie! it is so so good to see you darling.” tom said in his accent which was the hottest thing ever. then those blue eyes found their way to mine. “you must be y/n! kenzie won’t shut up about how awesome you are, it is such an honor to meet you in person.” he said. my shocked face was blocked from his view as he pulled me into a hug. oh my gosh i am hugging tom blyth right now at the people’s choice awards. he said it was an honor to meet me. is my life even real right now?? my mind was spinning.

“it is such an honor to meet you! you were so amazing in billy the kid and the hunger games, i’m glad people are understanding the tom blyth hype now.” i gushed, im sorry but i was completely fan girling like how could i not??

“oh the tom blyth hype? are you a supporter?” he questioned, was he flirting? was i flirting with tom blyth?

“i guess you could say that.” i blushed. now keep in mind somehow during this conversation kenzie had abandoned me so it was just me and tom on the red carpet which i guess i should thank her for but i was also very flustered.

“do you ever get used to these cameras?” i questioned tom as the cameras flashed at us.

“not really, but it’s easier to get through when you have company.” he winked. that sent butterflies erupting in my stomach. so what exactly had mackenzie said about me that made tom so flirty tonight??

“may i?” he asked wondering if he could slip his arm around my waist to pose for some more pictures. i just nodded and giggled. he laughed and snaked his arm around my waist.

“that dress is gorgeous on you, i can’t believe this is your first red carpet. you are such a natural at this.” tom whispered into my ear. feeling his breath on my neck sent shivers down my spine.

“i think it’s because you are doing all the work. i’m just standing here and looking pretty.” i shrugged making him laugh.

as we neared the end of the carpet there were stairs we had to climb down. and tom being the gentleman that he was, went down quickly so he could hold my hand and help me down the stairs. the lyrics from slut! by taylor swift started playing in my head ‘in a world of boys he’s a gentleman.’ we made our way inside and there were so many tables i had no where to go and i froze. tom smiled and placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to our table. gosh he was hot, funny, and so sweet.

“y/n! you made it. i see you and tom had a fun time on the carpet.” kenzie said as me and tom sat down. my seat was perfect - i was in between tom and mackenzie. other actors that worked on billy the kid were also seated at our table such as daniel webber and josh cruddas.

“y/n is quite the natural on the carpet. she was cracking jokes and that was the fastest the red carpet has ever gone for me, i think she needs to come to all of my events.” tom gushed.

“i wouldn’t mind. getting all glammed up is pretty fun and you were the one cracking all the jokes. i feel like i just stood there laughing the whole time.” i smiled. how were me and tom acting like old friends already, we just met? the chemistry was wild.

the lights started to dim signaling the show was about to begin. they were announcing action movie of the year and the ballad of songbirds and snakes won!! i shot out of my seat to congratulate tom. since he was right next to me i got to hug him first hehe.

“congratulations tom!!” i cheered as he hugged me. he smiled and went to hug kenzie and then he went up on stage with the rest of the hunger games cast. rachel zegler started her speech saying how thankful she was for the wonderful cast and the amazing fans. then tom said how this was such a wonderful opportunity and he was so thankful for the franchise and everyone showing so much support. i clapped and got a little teary eyes at their speeches.

tom returned to his seat and the rest of the table said their congratulations. the show continued and rachel zegler won the action movie star of the year. taylor swift won lots of course, loved her so much.

then billy the kid won an award and the whole table stood up except me and made their way to the stage. mackenzie and tom said a few words of thanks and i was so proud!

after the show we headed to the after party and me and kenzie headed over to the bar.

“what could you have possibly said to tom?” i questioned her, “he’s been all over me tonight!”

“i don’t know, he must just be in love with you, i mean who wouldn’t.” she replied. “now let’s party it up! i heard there was gonna be some karaoke too.”

i was sipping on my drink and mackenzie had wondered off to talk to some other friends of hers and i was content to people watch. that’s when tom walked up to the bar and asked for some whiskey.

he smiled at me and asked, “how is your first red carpet after party going?”

“well i heard there was going to be some karaoke so i figured some alcohol in my system would give me the confidence to go up there. i love karaoke but im just some random med student at the people’s choice awards.”

“would it help if we were to do a duet?” tom offered eyebrows raised.

“that would be so fun! what song are you thinking?” i was grinning so much right now.

“i’m up for anything, the point of karaoke is to not know the words anyway.”

“umm definitely not the point of karaoke but we’re just going to ignore that flaw of yours.”

“flaw of mine?? i feel personally attacked on that one l/n.” he said.

i rolled my eyes and held back a giggle, “ooh! i have a song idea, but no making fun of me blyth. why don’t we we do what makes you beautiful by one direction! that would be a great duet and the crowd would love it.”

“you would be a one direction fan.” tom chuckled.

“i told you no making fun of me. and you are so a fan too, i can just tell.”

“fine you caught me. i love listening to one direction.” tom says.

i grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the sign up sheet. kenzie came up to us, “you got tom to sign up for karaoke??” she exclaimed.

“oh yeah! we’re doing a one direction song, it’s gonna be great!” i replied.

“be ready to be blown away.” tom said laughing.

before i knew it, it was time to go up and sing our duet. “you ready for this, darling?” tom asked helping me up on stage.

“oh i was born ready tom.” i giggled.

the song starts and i start singing:

You're insecure, don't know what for

You're turnin' heads when you walk through the door

Don't need makeup to cover up

Bein' the way that you are is enough

then tom starts singing and i forget about everyone watching

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we sing together and i walk closer towards him

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

tom sings looking at me the whole time

So c-come on, you got it wrong

To prove I'm right, I put it in a song

I don't know why you're being shy

And turn away when I look into your eyes

then i sing back to him

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we both sing dancing around the stage

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

i sing and turn towards everyone watching and blush when i feel tom’s eyes on me

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know you're beautiful

both of us:

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

You don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

everyone is cheering to loudly and i feel like i have just had my high school musical troy and gabriella moment with tom. i looked at him and he had the biggest grin on his face and i knew i looked the same way. we got off stage and tom goes, “did we really just do that?”

at the same time i go, “that was incredible.” we just start laughing. mackenzie runs up to us.

“guys that was literally straight out of a movie. you guys had every single person at this party invested.” she said.

“i think that was my best karaoke performance yet.” i said grinning.

“i think it’s time to quit acting and me and y/n can take this show on the road.” tom laughed.

“such a great idea.” i said laughing and grabbed his arm to stabilize myself in my heels.

kenzie dragged us onto the dance floor and at some point rachel zegler, josh rivera, and hunter schafer joined us on the dance floor. what?! my mind was blown as they all said how amazing me and tom’s performance was. we danced and drank and laughed and boy was it a blast.

the party winded down and mackenzie and i were making our way out.

“wait y/n!” i heard tom call as i was about to climb into our car. i turned around as he jogged up to me.

“tonight was so fun and i just wanted to say it was a blast getting to know you, can i by chance get your number?” he asked sheepishly.

“yes of course! i had the best time too, you really know how to party!” i said laughing. we exchanged numbers and he hugged me good bye.

“see you later tom.”

“hope to see you soon l/n.”

author’s note: hope you all enjoyed! i can’t wait to continue this series. leave suggestions for other stories you want to read and i will get to it!

[theliterarywolf]

Oh my God it happened! I had my first ever Karen parent encounter today. Wolfy! *kicks door open* Holy FUCK!

Story Time.

It's spring break so we're doing room by room detailing (Custodian Guard!), not quite the deep scrub of Summer where it all smells new at the end but more like doing a solid once over with a vacuum and a pleather touch-up

I have the fire doors at the end of the hall closed since the school technically is open but they're not supposed to go beyond the office without a chaperone. I hear this ungodly banging. Like someone is trying to actually break through a union rated fire door. I was shown the mess of where one of the SpecEd kids had a sensory over load and wigged. Ended up running body first into the door and then puking all over it from the pain of...something or other. I heard collar bone and also dislocation and also head trauma. I DIGRESS! Bang, bang, bang. At the door Wolfy! I go see WTF and poke my head out. This 5 foot something of a pants suit wearing business woman with a fucked up hawk cut (looked kind of like that ugly fug from the Lorax) rips the door from my hand and barges past. THIS FUCKING BITCH ignores me as I keep pace demanding to know what in the world she thinks she's doing. She stops at a locker, points, and tells me to open it. I said No. And oh NO, uh oh, round the fucking merry go round we go! This bitch explodes! "This is my child's locker and if it's my child's locker its my locker now open it!" Or some such. Honestly she was pitching into my tinnitus and I just started tuning her out. Shrills of property rights, and police, and I let her wear her self out when the door opens again and there's my HoF, El Jefe. It's spring break, the HBIC up behind the big desk put him in charge. He already looks like he's ready to take his crock off and knock her block off LA CHANKLA style.

No, he's a true working class gentlemen. Friendly, but authoritative; assertive, but even handed. Asks her how she got in, what she was doing, why she was doing it. Would not let her talk over him. She accused me of cursing. I said check the cameras. We go and see the display in the security office and since our cams capture sound as well everyone got to see an awesome rendition of Cotton Candy complete with booty dance (I'm doing my job I don't give a fuck), before we find out she had tried the office, they denied her entry, so she just went looking for an unlocked door and barged her way past a delivery that was in progress, made her way to my hall, and began knocking, pounding, then attempting to break her way through the fire door and her entire tirade is caught on persistent media device. Nobody clapped because this bitch is throwing insults at everyone. Then I found out WHY she was so upset. I said I was going to explain that I couldn't open anything without my bosses approval, but she launched into a fit and that's when El Jefe showed up. So we call the HBIC and she's pissed because she's using actual vacation hours to ensure a spring break for her kids and tells us to take security and open the locker. Kid was vaping. Cart box fell out soon as I opened the locker. Peaches n Cream cool hit single cart. 10 year old kid. Fuck. I know I did nothing wrong but I told her I understand her shock and empathized any ways. Knowing that your kid is doing nicotine and god knows what else from these prepackaged crap packets. Security takes pictures, emails are sent, CC'd, forwarded, in duplicate, witness statements, police were called but no charges pressed she was just walked off the premises with little coaxing. I think she was just processing at that point. Found out later through the break-room telephone that the kid ended up in a local Psych hospital...I honestly feel worse for the kid knowing that. The places we have in this town are just...fucking scams.

See, you got the 'fun' unhinged Karen, I always got the 'how dare that teacher say something not perfectly squeaky clean to my precious baby! I demand to be let on campus so I can beat her ass at ONCE!' Karens.

Even though the 'not perfectly squeaky clean' comments were:

High School - *in response to a kid shouting 'I like my bitches silent' across the classroom several times during class'* "You probably shouldn't call someone else a bitch when you're acting like a bitch yourself, now get out.'

Middle School - *in response to a kid being disrespectful and saying that they don't even want to be in school* "You know, back when I taught high school, sometimes the best advice I could give to people with your point of view was 'maybe you should just drop out'."

*in response to the class refusing to settle down after utilizing literally all of the school's call-to-actions and calls-for-silence* "Okay, I want it as silent as a corpse in here, thank you..."

But, I have to say, I was laughing at your Cotton Candy booty-shaking antics... Then I got sad near the end.

[worldsbiggestnerd101]

i will forever be grateful that the mascot horror of my choosing - welcome home - is not a video game or even a show, but is, in fact, an interactive website with many secret elements that hide the horror. look what happened to fnaf, to tadc, hell, even poppy playtime now that chapter 3 isn’t complete and utter sludge. like, can you imagine how much worse the welcome home fandom would be if we also had over saturated content farms to deal with?

i was into tadc for a week or two (hyperfixation go brrrrr) and part of the reason i lost interest was because of the fucking content farms. tadc isn’t just an indie animated show with horror elements now, it’s something content farms milk to hell and back! i’ve found my little siblings watching shitty tadc content farm videos! can you imagine what would’ve happened if welcome home was executed in any other format other than its current website? the characters are perfect in terms of color and designs for content farm exploitation. it would’ve absolutely wrecked welcome home as a whole and it would’ve never taken off in the way it did if it’d been in a game or show or anything other than its website.

i keep going back to tadc but it’s just the perfect example of content-farm-ification. tadc lost relevance after, what, a month? sure, it’ll likely skyrocket back up into tumblr’s trending whenever episode 2 drops, but compare tadc’s 40k tag followers to welcome home’s ever climbing 1.2 million tag followers. the welcome home tag absolutely just blew up and kept blowing up after its initial rise to fame in march 2023, but tadc’s tag is still similar in followers to the number it had back in october. i blame it on the fucking content farms. sure, tadc has millions of views of youtube, but how relevant is it really?

sure, the welcome home fandom is generally regarded as shitty thanks to all the fucking idiots who couldn’t listen to clown’s guidelines on nsfw content for the few months before they created a tag for that specifically and because of all the weird as fuck aus people have created, but at least we’re not that. at least we don’t have content farms like fucking lankybox completely sucking the enjoyment out of our media of choice and over saturating the search results we get when looking up the names of our hyperfixes.

i cannot stress enough how grateful i am that welcome home’s main way of being interacted with is its website. lankybox and all other content farms can’t milk that. what small child would want to watch them aimlessly click around the website and try to find all the secrets? how is that marketable? how can you make putting in letter combinations into the url and clicking on everything pops up something to scream at your camera about? answer: you can’t. that’s what’s so great about it. there is almost no possible way anyone under age, what, ten? would want to watch someone interact with the website and uncover its lore which makes it practically useless to every single content farm out there.

so, yeah. once again, thank you clown for making your funny little puppet show horror project a silly website with its own secrets and codes rather than a video game. thank you for executing mascot horror in such a great way that content farms have simply not found a way to milk it in the almost year since its initial explosion in popularity. don’t forget to wave up high!

[justplainwhump]

Making Angel - A documentary

I didn't intend to do something for the @bbu-on-the-side Community Days today, but well. I did. Have a transcript of in-BBU-media. Contains minor spoilers for Tyler's story, but then again, could be an AU.

[Angel's story]

Content: BBU, kidnapping, presumed death.

Making Angel - A documentary on the WRU pet system by Tara McKenzie.

Opening shot is a long drone shot of a rich hillside suburb, lush vegetation, large mansions in big parks.

[Before Angel] a subtitle says; [Danielle]

Cut to a video obviously taken by a smart phone, a group of young women lounging by a pool. In the center, there's a tall woman in her early twenties with long blond locks in a white swimsuit. She grins and waves, like people do who have their photo taken, then frowns at the camera. "Are you filming me?"

The person behind the camera laughs, a woman's voice. "I am! Want to remember you like this, before you'll go start corporate work and forget all your friends."

The camera zooms in on the blond woman. Her face is specked with freckles, and her amused grin has a dimple appear in her left cheek. "I'll never forget you. My best friend who is violating my personality rights by filming me without my consent."

"May I film you, babe? Please? Just some words to future generations, before your first steps of becoming the superstar and role model for female CEOs?"

"Fine, fine. Hi everyone. I'm Dany Hammond, I'm a little tipsy because my friends wanted to throw me this party, I'm 22 years old, have a bachelor's degree in psychology and I'll start my position in corporate management next week. As an intern, though, an intern, which my friends refuse to understand, whatever they tell to this camera. And uh- oh, come on, turn this camera off?"

"What can you tell us about your private life?"

Danielle throws her head back and laughs. "That's what you're going at? Find out if I'm dating via an interview?" She winks at the camera. "I'm not dating anyone, boys out there, but if you have both a brain and a nice biceps, call me. Also, I'm a very competitive tennis player, if you think you can beat me at tennis, call me as well, and, well, we'll see where it leads-"

The video ends.

Now there's another young woman in an interview chair facing the camera.

[Olivia Voss, Danielle's friend]

When she speaks, you recognize her voice as the woman filming before. "That's the last time we saw her, before... Well, she did die, in a way, didn't she? For six years, we've been convinced she'd died for real. She... The footage of that kidnapping was on all news stations, but it had been resolved, right? They found who did it, within just days. But Dany... Dany stayed dead."

Pictures from a news station show up, showing black and white surveillance videos from the street in front of an office building. The blond woman from before, in a business dress, with a man walking by her side. A van stopping next to them, people with guns, the woman frozen in place, her companion putting a hand on her shoulder, all but pushing her in the van, and then all of them gone in the van, bystanders watching in shock. "Danielle Hammond, daughter to influential businessman Stuart Hammond, appears to have been abducted in broad daylight yesterday in downtown, right by her father's company headquarters. To our reporters, officials mentioned a conflict in organised crime, now reaching the higher levels of management."

Another news video, some days later, the moderator in front of two photos. "Danielle Hammond and her bodyguard Frankie Mueller, who had been abducted in one of the city's most notorious kidnappings just last week, have been confirmed dead. Their remains have been found burned in a car just out of town."

Cut back to the interview room and the woman from before. She's sobbing. "I believed it. We all did. And it was horrible. I... I could never have dreamed, she was alive and she was... She was going through something so much worse."

Cut to another drone video, filming a company logo - WRU - on a small sign in front of a nondescript office building; flying up to show a big building complex in the desert outskirts of another town.

[WRU High Security Training Facility 002]

The name [Danielle] shows up again, is then replaced by [002238] in the same font.

There's a man in the interview chair now, probably around thirty, tall, broad shoulders, long dark blond hair tied up into a bun. He seems nervous, foot tapping onto the ground, finger running over a scar on his neck, but his gaze is evenly on the camera, or the person behind it. "Assisted walk-in, we called them," he says. "Involuntary Acquisitions. 238 was a custom order, and it was my job to get her ready for it."

[Tyler Parker, former WRU Romantic Handler]

[anmarifromearth]

Chapter 6: Into the Labyrinth

Note: You can read the finished version on Quotev, but for Tumblr, I'd like to upload the chapters one by one.

WC: 2.2 K -- Masterlist -- featuring art by @amalthiaph

She leaned in closer, a mischievous gleam in her eyes, "since this house was built long ago, did you know that there were passages in between the walls?"

We gasped once it was out of his bag, and he immediately dropped it on the table.

Charles hovered over on the table to see if what we're seeing is real. Zach quickly picked the phone back up, and examined if it was really his. He pressed the lock button, and it opened, with only a few amount of battery left. 

"The wallpaper," he said, it was a picture of a bookshelf. "It's the same. This was my bookshelf back at home." He swiped it open. It showed his home screen which was a picture of him, facing their mansion, his back on the camera. It also had the same notepads with our schedule on them. "This is mine." He took in a deep breath and let it go, "Who put it here?"

I blinked, thinking of any other possibility, "Are you sure you dropped it in the first place?"

"Yes, I am," he said, still examining the phone.

"The video! The video!" shouted Charles.

Immediately, Zach opened his phone and went to the video player. He scrolled down the screen to reveal the latest. Most of them were just movies and series and of course, that video. Zach opened it with a tap, and it loaded.

"We are here," Zach's voice came from the video. "I can't believe we are inside it!"

"Don't you think it's strange that the doors are unlocked?"

"Maybe they just forgot about it."

"Yes, for The White Room, the might have did. But how about this door? Why would they leave doors to the 'secret passages' unlocked lest it would no longer be a secret."

"I'm thinking maybe Christina is helping us."

"Maybe the reason she is trapped in this school is because no one has ever found her body. Perhaps she just wanted someone to find out what exactly happened to her so that she'll be able to find peace."

"We are now heading back to the dining hall. This is the wall that divides The White Room and the kitchen."

"Alright, alright, what's up?" my voice came from the distance. I remember that that time, Charles and I were left behind.

The camera went to me and Charles, who were both terrified. I know I'm terrified then but I never expected our faces to look that much terrified. The camera then turned to where we were looking at and landed on the skeleton.

This is worse than watching a horror movie, I thought, feeling my heart pound hard knowing what's to happen next. I was a lot more scared then than I was now.

The camera lowered down. I bet Zach got afraid then, well, who wouldn't? With shaky hands, he aimed the camera again at the skeleton, very slowly this time. It showed the skeleton, then Christina's legs, and slowly her face. She was staring right back at us and this time, I noticed that her face looks as if challenging us to come to her, or luring us somewhere.

With only a second of her face, the camera dropped to the ground, the screen on the ground and the rear facing the ceiling.

We heard footsteps coming closer to the camera, and a hint of blonde hair. "Christina," Charles whispered. A hand grabbed the phone and the video was over.

Zach looked at me, me to him and him to Charles. "I have a feeling she's the one who put it on your bag," Charles said.

Zach nodded as he felt the phone vibrated. It was too low on battery. Charles pulled out his power bank and offered it to him. As Zach was plugging in his phone, he opened his mouth to say something but hesitated. Charles didn't notice but I did, so I pressed on.

"What is it?" I asked.

"If Christina is the one who returned it," he began. He now had Charles' attention, "I was thinking why?" His black eyes met mine, "Maybe she isn't here to scare us. Maybe she wants us to see something. Discover." He breathed. "I suspect she was killed, and no one found out."

We waited until the end of classes to resume the video. Zach hesitated to use his phone while charging always saying "I don't want to damage the battery" as if he cannot buy another one out of his allowance. We were gathered around in my room again, with Charlotte on her bed, listening to music. I always wonder what must be going on inside her head; she was always there and she sees the map for sure, but never asks.

We hovered over on the phone which lies on the floor. Footsteps can be heard from the video. Then a hand is seen. My heart is pounding in my ears. I can feel that it was the same for them. Every second of the video just made my heart pound harder, afraid of what I know that's going to happen. I see the phone being lifted from the ground.

My heart pounded harder, as I saw the hand slowly move away from the camera.

I saw blonde hair.

And a face.

Blonde hair, pale skin, narrow nose, and thin lips.

Then, darkness.

"That was the end of the video," Zach said picking his phone from the floor. "She must have turned it off."

"How could someone from the 1800s know how to stop a video from recording?" teased Charles. "When you come to think of it—Iris?"

I can't feel anything other than my limbs shaking, and my heart pounding harder feeling as if it would burst out my chest anytime. I fell down face first on the floor as my shaking limbs gave up. I felt two arms pick me up. I looked up. It was Zach. He is giving me this "What's the matter?" kind of look.

I turned my eyes to Charles who has the same face. I opened my mouth to speak. But no voice came out. I was still tensed. I knew that it was Christina who picked that up, yes. I knew that that would be the ending however, "Have you seen her face?" I finally said, or managed to say.

Zach nodded.

"Blonde hair, pale skin, narrow nose, and thin lips," I continued. They both nodded. "Who does that look like?"

"You," they both said.

"Well," Zach broke the silence which I think lasted for hours, "We do not know if she looks exactly like you. I mean, it was dark. And the terrible lighting adds up to it. Also, I don't think she has blue eyes." I smiled. His words are very comforting. Although I know that they're all to calm me down, we still can't rule out his points.

"You know," Charles began, "They said that there are about six people who have the exact same face as you. And there is a change that you'd meet at least some of them in your lifetime."

"Yes, but its better if it isn't someone who's already died in the 19th century whom you'd met in a secret passage between the walls of the boarding school you attend, standing beside a skeleton," Zach said.

"Keanu Reeves has a look-a-like who existed in the 14th century," Charles added.

I laughed. Charles always has a way to make Zach and I happy. But it's true though. I mean that 14th century Keanu Reeves look-a-like. I've seen that on 9gag. "They said he was a vampire because he never ages," I joked, only to entertain myself. "I wonder though, maybe he is. And that 14th century guy is actually him."

We entered the dining hall which welcomed us with the delicious smell of Italian cuisine. I was amused on how they were able to give us quality meal every evening, given how many students are here.

We all ended up on that same table we sat on yesterday, like an unspoken rule in every school cafeteria. Charles was already there. Zach and I put down our things, his phone and mine and took only our ID cards to the counter. Zach, always the gentleman, fell in line after me. They were serving Bolognese this time. I honestly don't like it. Zach seems fine with it though.

"Do you really have to put that much cheese in it?" Zach asked as I looked at him, never ceasing to put grated cheese on my Bolognese. It came with garlic bread and iced tea.

"Yes," I said, already poured half of the jar on it, making it more like cheese with Bolognese than the other way around. "I love cheese on pasta."

Charles was already halfway through his meal, since he came here before us. "Aren't you worried," he began once he had swallowed his pasta, looking at Zach, "that your phone is lying there on the table for every crew to see?

With that, Zach immediately dropped his fork, still flawlessly though, and took the phone to hide in his pocket. Unfortunately, he was a millisecond late, as we heard Mr. Phillips' voice boom across the dining hall. "Mr. Stratmann" he began. Zach tensed. We waited for him to reach our table before we all look up at him. He towered over us, eyes fixed on Zach's hand with the phone in it. "Didn't I forbid you from going back inside?" He didn't actually specify inside "what" since all the students around us are watching, and he doesn't want anyone else to know about it.

I looked at Zach. This is the first time I've seen him so tensed. He was still uptight and regal though you could smell he is really nervous. I kind of know what he was thinking. He's stuck between telling him that he just "magically" found it in his bag or he could just lie and tell that he did come back in the morning. If he said the truth, it's either Mr. Philipps won't believe him or the man would start to question Charles and I. If he decided on the latter, we would all get in trouble.

"I just found it in my bag this morning."

My eyes widened. I was certain he would choose the latter, for it is easier to believe. And given the kind of guy Zach is, he was willing to sacrifice himself any time just so that we wouldn't get in trouble. Then it hit me, the reason why he said the truth; his family name. Breaking the rules like that would surely cause Mr. Philipps to phone his parents and tell them about it.

"Did any of you leave your bedrooms to get it before we do?" That was all Mr. Philipps asked. I didn't expect him to react like this. I was expecting him to tell us that we would see each other again tomorrow at detention. But that?

"NO," the three of us chorused.

"Alright, then," he just said. Again, I was surprised. He believed us just like that. He looked at his clock, turned around and left.

ZACH: So, I watched the video again for god knows how many times.

CHARLES: And?

ZACH: I was reconsidering our theory that maybe Christina was helping us. Because if that's not the case, she would've left the phone there for Mr. Philipps to find. But instead, she took it before they can retrieve it. Because she's afraid that they might not return it to us.

CHARLES: Or delete the video.

ZACH: Or they might delete the video. Yes. @Iris Gardner Say something.

CHARLES: The skeleton though. *cringes

ZACH: Yes. About that skeleton.

IRIS: Why is Christina standing beside it? Can she be guarding it?

ZACH: Or maybe she wants us to notice it. Because we are likely to replay the part of the video when we saw her. And she wants us to repeatedly watch that part again and again until we notice that...The skeleton is clutching something.

CHARLES: Then, of course, we'd be curious.

IRIS: And we'd look.

And I know that from the other side of my phone's screen, they are making the same face as that of mine. 

Something has been bothering my mind since dinner; Mr. Phillips' response. Knowing his cold, always suspecting self, I still find it hard to believe that he just accepted Zach's claims that easily. It's as if he'd be angrier if we choose the more believable and not to mention, possible choice.

I can't handle it anymore. I opened my phone again and went on Messenger, with hopes that Zach is still online. And thank whatever entity, he is. I tapped on his name and chatted:

IRIS: Don't you find it strange that Mr. Phillips believed what you said? I mean, it's impossible. Also, he didn't even question us after we said no when he asked us if we left our rooms at dawn, although it is the more plausible reason.

ZACH: True. It's as if he'd be angrier if we lied and said 'yes, we did take it even if you forbade us to.'

IRIS: I was thinking of the exact same thing.

ZACH: It's like he knows that we didn't leave the room. And it wasn't really us that retrieved it. I saw his face. It was like, so it has begun.

IRIS: What has begun?

ZACH: His race to the truth against Christina.

[crystalsnow95z]

Technically, a continuation of another story but how it's written you should be able to understand without part 1. Bangtan are attending a music festival, but Taehyung isn't feeling so good but doesn't want to ruin everyone's fun.

It ended up way longer than I thought, I cut out quite a bit already. Hopefully, it's not too long.

I don't think it needs any warnings, but it does have a nightmare.

"Everyone ready to go?" Namjoon does a head count, leaving out Jungkook who was staying behind.

"Ready." J-hope answers, hanging his camera around his neck.

"A few staff members are staying behind so don't worry about Jungkook. Just focus on enjoying our vacation." Namjoon ushers his children out the door, making sure everyone gets situated.

"What was the name of the festival? I want to see who's all playing." Jimin asks.

"Ah, I think I have a flyer somewhere around here." J-hope digs in his bag, handing him a crumpled piece of paper giving it to Jimin.

"I don't recognize half of these names.. I'm excited." Jimin smiles. "Who are you most excited for?"

"I'm not picking favorites ." J-hope tuts.

"Ah look, Txt is also playing..!" Jimin points to the page where he sees their name. "I'm glad they are getting their music out there."

"I didn't see their name the first time I looked." J-hope leans in to look.

"They got it written really small." Jimin frowns. "They still haven't made a big fanbase overseas."

"We'll have to cheer them on." Namjoon joins the conversation.

"If we get there early enough, we can see them before they return. Seeing familiar faces should help ease their nerves." J-hope throws out ideas.

"Maybe we can hang out a bit before they depart." Jimin says, passing the flyer to Namjoon's out reached hand.

"They'll probably be tired. We don't want to burden them. We can if they suggest it, but if we do, they might feel pressured to say yes because we're older." Namjoon explains.

Taehyung doesn't join the conversation already aware of who's playing because he had been texting two of the Txt members, opting to take photos of the scenery instead to rest his sore throat. It was only six, but he already felt tired. He tunes out the conversation, feeling the start of a headache forming. (Maybe I should've suggested staying at the cabin with Jungukkie, but Beomgyu seemed so excited when he found out that they were in the same area.)

"Tae are you okay?" The sound of jimin's voice gets his attention.

"I was just enjoying the scenery. It's been a while since I had time to take photos." Taehyung says, giving him a smile.

"It is really pretty here, but you didn't answer my question." Jimin presses for answers again, looking into his eyes. They showed how tired he was and the pain he was feeling. Taehyung looks away, pretending to be distracted by J-hope playing music on his phone.

"Is that Txt's newest song?" Taehyung asks.

Jimin sighs. (I know he's just trying to make us not worry, but he shouldn't push himself. I should've tried to get him to stay.) He sends a text to Namjoon.

I don't think Tae is okay, but he won't admit it. He looks worn out and his voice sounds off to me.

Namjoon looks at the message, whispering to Yoongi sitting next to him. "We need to keep an eye on Tae. I think he got sick, too."

Yoongi nods and passes it on, everyone becoming aware of the situation.

"Tete, wake up, we're here." Jimin shakes his shoulder gently.

"Hm?" Taehyung sits up, rubbing his eyes. (When did I fall asleep?) His neck was stiff from laying on it wrong.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jimin asks, running a head through Taehyung's hair.

"Yeah, I'm okay.. I guess I was more tired than I thought..I think I put a kink in my neck though.." Taehyung lies. The dull headache turned into a painful pressure behind his eyes. (How can I feel worse after napping?)

"I'm watching you." Jimin informs him, pulling up his face mask and putting on the black bucket hat he borrowed from Jungkook. "Let's go try to find the babies. If we keep covered up, we should be able to go unnoticed for at least a little bit." Jimin tries to massage the pain away for Taehyung, walking behind him, rubbing his thumbs across his soulmate's neck.

"It might be easier since all six of us aren't here." Namjoon notes, leading his members through the crowd. "English only."

"Did you find out what one they are in?" RM asks.

"N..yes. The third one is on the left of the stage." Jimin says, looking at the text Beom-gyu sent him quickly remembering to speak English.

The boys go through the crowd unnoticed, reaching the dressing room of their hoobaes. Jimin knocks, Beom-gyu opening the door, bowing deeply. "Hello."

Jimin pulls him into a hug. "Hello, how are you?"

"I'm excited, but nervous. We've never done a music festival before.." Beomgyu replies, ushering bangtan inside.

The other txt members group members bow deeply, the two groups warmly greeting each other.

"Where is Jungkook-hyung?"Taehyun asks when the six visitors settle in.

"He caught a cold, so he stayed behind. Don't worry. He'll be back on his feet in a few days." Namjoon replies.

"Oh no. I hope he recovers quickly." Taehyun frowns.

"He's super stubborn. I bet he'll fight it off by tomorrow." Yoongi says with a small smile.

The two groups catch up with one another, talking about their recent tours, the new songs they were working on, and the struggles they've been having. Taehyung tried to keep his energy levels high, putting up a front, not wanting to worry the younger group before a performance. (I'm happy that they got their confidence up again knowing we're here to cheer them on..) Taehyung doesn't regret his decision to go, watching his little brothers go from balls of nerves to playfully teasing one another.

"It sounds like the show is starting." Kai peeks out of the room.

"We should find a place to watch then, and you guys can continue getting ready." J-hope hugs each of the txt members, and the other members follow suit.

(Taehyung-hyung feels warm.) Beomgyu hugs Taehyung whispering to him. "Take it easy, hyung. Thank you for the advice and for coming to visit.."

"{They look more relaxed.}" Jimin smiles. "I know they'll do well. They practiced hard." His voice is drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

The group goes to watch quietly, keeping close together. They only brought two body guards, trying not to draw a lot of attention. The boys were using their phones to film.

The boys happily enjoy the show, busy watching the stage instead of Taehyung. He tried to cheer loudly for Txt when they made it on stage, following the fan chat, but halfway through, his voice was cut off by coughs. His health grew worse as the time passed, the heat of all the people surrounding them making him feel overheated and weak. He leans against Jin's broad shoulders, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Jin doesn't think anything of Taehyung's sudden affection, just leaning his head back on his for a moment.

They made it to the last performance, and decided to try to beat the crowd. Jimin drops his mask a bit to drink water, unaware on the mayhem it would cause.

"{Is that Jimin?}" An unfamiliar voice speaks.

"{Oh my gosh, I think it is.}" Another fan speaks up.

"{It is! That's Namjoon next to him!{"

Their fans have found them, causing an uproar. A teenged girl reaches for Jin, touching his cheek. Jin backs up, running into Yoongi, nearly knocking him over.

Their bodyguards push them away when they try to reach for them. "{Don't touch. Stay back.}" They speak, putting the boys in a tighter circle.

"Leave them alone. They came here to enjoy the show. We shouldn't bother them on their private time." A new voice tries to roar over the chaos.

"Namjoon-ah...!" Taehyung tries to call out over the crowd, but his voice is drowned out by all the others screaming much louder than he could, his voice coming out weakly. "Yoon-..!" He tried calling again, but when he tried shouting, it broke into a cough. (They can't hear me. My voice is gone..) His heart raced with panic, unable to see them through the sea of people. Within the chaos he got separated from the others, nearly getting trampled by all the people pushing to reach the others. He gets pushed to the ground by a man trying to lift his young daughter so she can get a peek at bangtan. Taehyung tries to stand again, but vertigo hits him hard, making him fall to his knees again. A woman steps on his hand amongst the chaos. "Aiish..." He rubs his hands across his injured fingers, trying to ease the pain.(Hyungs.. Please.. i can't do this alone..) He pleaded silently in his mind. He puts his hands over his head, trying to protect himself, too scared to try to move.

"Taehyung-oppa?" A young female voice startled him when he feels them touch his shoulder. She was no older than eleven, looking at him with worry.

"Shh.. don't say my name.. you might get hurt if they notice me on my own." He speaks softly but notices the girl just looks at him with a puzzled expression. (She can't understand me..)

"{Are you okay? Are you scared? You're shaking.}" The girl continued to him speak, trying to pull him to his feet.

"{I'm..lost.}" He speaks English to her the best he could. "{I..need to go..there..}" He points to where the other members disappeared, anxiety piking when he sees no sign of them.

"There's no way you'll be able to break through the crowd. Why don't we go to the side and you can call them?" She tries to make motions with her hands, making an X when she points to the crowd and an okay sign when she points to the opposite direction pointing to her phone then him.

"{Okay, okay..I go..}" Taehyung let's the little girl lead him against the sea of people, trying his best not to stumble. (I don't feel well at all..I feel like if I don't sit soon I'll faint..) He stops trying to catch his breath."{Can't..need rest..}"

The young girl helps him sit in the dirt, digging in her bag for a waterbottle covered in kpop stickers. "Please.." she speaks the best Korean she can."{You must be dehydrated.. you don't look so good..}" He pushes it into his hands.

Taehyung takes the water gratefully, lowering his mask to take a sip.

"{Oh wow. You look even prettier in person.. oh! Sorry.}" The girl blushes, hiding her face. Taehyung giggles at her reaction but a dry cough stops him.

"{Poor bear. That was rude of me...}" she rubs his back slowly, trying not to push her boundaries. She looks up korean words on her phone. "We need to get you to the others}"

Taehyung looks around, feeling safe enough to try to contact the others, but when he reached into his pocket he feels nothing. "Aiigo.."

"{Did you lose something?}" The girl asks.

Taehyung nods. {Phone.. phone gone.}"

"{It must've dropped when you fell. I'll go see if I can find it!}"

Taehyung shakes his head, but the girl already runs off, and when he tries to call to her, no words come out. (They're probably trying to call my phone.. they would've had to get escorted to the van. I wish she would've stayed, though.. I don't want to be alone..)

"We need to find him. He's not answering his phone. What if something happened to him?" Jimin speaks quickly, looking helplessly outside the car window.

"They'll find him. We just gotta wait here. Going out to look for him would just cause more problems. They got the security looking for him as well as our staff. Taehyung will be okay."Namjoon tried to believe his own words, but his voice shook, showing his fear.

"He probably can't hear it over all that chaos. I'm sure he's fine." Yoongi says squeezing Namjoon's hand.

"This is my fault. I blew our cover." Jimin puts his head in his hands. "I should've waited until we got back inside the van. Now Tete got lost in the crowd.."

"Don't say that. You didn't know they'd react that way. We've gone to public events before and didn't get mobbed like that." Jin smacks Jimin in the leg. "Calm down. He'll turn up."

"{Gina? Gina where are you?}" A man calls out for his daughter. "Gina!" He looks around, running up to Taehyung. He backs up, eyes widening in shock when he grabs Taehyung by the wrist."{You. That's my daughter's bottle!}"

"{Please stop.. let go..}" Taehyung's voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. He tries to pull away, his breath picking up.

"{I'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you. Have you seen my daughter? That's her bottle you're holding."

"{The girl.. that way..English..not so good..}" Taehyung points to where the girl went.

"{Hey.. you look like the boy in the poster in my daughter's room.. V. You're V.}" He loosens his grip on Taehyung, just staring at him in disbelief.

"{Daddy! Daddy you found Taehyung too!}" Gina returns with a police officer.

"Gina! Oh, thank God you're okay! I thought you got hurt by the crowd!" The man hugs his daughter to his chest.

"{You are Kim Taehyung, right?}" The officer asks offering his hand to him.

"{Yes.}" Taehyung takes it, the officer helping him to his feet.

"{Your friends are looking for you. Let me escort you.}"

Taehyung sighs, relief washing over him. "{Thank you.}"

"I'm sorry. {I couldn't find your phone, but I found help.}" Gina bows to him.

"{It's okay.. you help.. Thank you..}" Taehyung hands the water bottle back to her, then removes the baseball cap from his head, putting it on her. When she hugs him, she can feel the heat radiating off of him. "{Taehyung-oppa? Are You okay? You feel hot..}"

"{Need..sit...}" Taehyung sways, closing his eyes. Gina's voice sounded far away, his body finally reaching its limit. (Everything is spinning..) he took a step back to try to stop himself from falling on top of Gina, his body meeting the ground.

"They found him.. he's with the police now.." He covers his phone to speak to the other members. "{Thank you so much sir..}" He speaks into the phone. Namjoon's relief is only short lived though, the officer telling him what happened.

"What? What's wrong?" J-hope shakes Namjoon's shoulder trying to get answers.

"He fainted. He's running a high fever, and his hand his really swollen." Namjoon breaks the news to them. "They're going to take him to a hospital for x-rays."

(Where..am I..?) Taehyung's eyes fluttered open, gasping in surprise when he feels a set of arms wrap around him. "Taehyung-Ah! You're up! You had me so worried!"

"Jiminie you're squishing me.." Taehyung couldn't get his voice higher than a whisper and even that was painful.

"Are you feeling any better Tae?" J-hope sits on the other side of him, running a hand through Taehyung's sweaty hair. "My heart skipped a beat when they said you fainted.. why didn't you tell us you felt so awful. We would've gotten someone to take you home."

"It wasn't bad until I got separated.. I was so scared I couldn't catch my breath.." Taehyung's heart raced at the memory, recalling all the voices screaming and pushing, squeezing Jimin.

"You're okay now Tae. I'm so sorry we lost you.. we noticed right away but we couldn't do anything about it. As I tried running towards you there were so many people grabbing at me.. i didn't know Army could be so scary.." jimin squeezes Taehyung back.

"A few people got hurt..including you.. next time we'll have to bring more body guards.." Namjoons heart feels heavy with regret.

(Hurt?) Taehyung looks over himself, noticing his fingers were wrapped on his right hand. "Someone stepped on me.. an Army girl had to help me get away from the mob.. she was so nice.. she wasn't even a teenager yet.. she led me away from the crowd... I gave her my hat as a thank.." Another round of coughs stop him from telling his story.

"Shh..stop talking..You're going to completely lose your voice. We can talk more when you're feeling better.." Jin scolds him.

"{Excuse me but visiting hours are over now}" The doctor tells him.

"{Sorry we lost track of time. We'll get going, but please could someone stay as a translator? His English isn't good..}" Namjoon bows to her. "{I'm sorry to ask, but I'm worried about him..}" Namjoon hated asking for special treatment, but with Taehyung's history of night terrors, his heart broke at the idea of him being terrified with no one able to speak Korean to help him calm down.

"{We usually only let family stay, but since he's in a private room, I'll allow it considering the circumstances. Only one person can stay.}" The nurse responds with a kind smile, seeing the stress written all over Namjoon's face.

"{Thank you so much. I'll stay and send the others back home.}" Namjoon bows once more turning to the others. "I'll stay with him tonight, but everyone else has to go."

"I'm so relieved someone can stay with him..." Seokjin sighs. "I can't believe we lost him in the crowd like that... Keep him safe for me. Okay Joon?"

"I'm sorry Namjoonie-hyung.." Taehyung whispers, watching him try to get comfortable in the chair. "Do you want to lay with me instead? There's enough room for..." His words are interrupted by his own coughing.

"Taehyung-ah, I'm scared to hurt you. Don't worry about me, I'm fine."Namjoon tries to quietly drag the chair as close as he can to Taehyung's bed."I told you not to talk. You need to rest your voice. I'm right here with you. Do you want me to sing you a song?"

Taehyung nods.

Namjoon thinks, then starts softly singing.

"We're born in the moonlight.Ain't no fantasy. Can't breathe in the sunlight. Gotta hide your heart. We're born to be sad, sad (whoa-oh), sad, sad.

Suffer to be glad, glad,whoa-oh, glad, glad

Come on, ya'll, moonchild, moonchild. That's how it's supposed to be. Yeah, all these pain and all these sorrows. That's our destiny, see?" Namjoon stops singing when he notices that Taehyung has fallen asleep, breathing deeply.

"Good night Tae.." He says yawning, not taking long to fall asleep.

(Trigger warning. The boys get hurt, but it's just a dream)

"Taehyung-ah! Help!" He hears the members calling to him, the boys getting trampled by faceless people, reaching out for him. Jimin was covered in bruises, Jungkook's arm lays limply at an unnatural angle, J-hope was holding his ribcage, coughing. He can't even spot the others, but he could hear them calling for him.

Taehyung tries to call him, but no sound comes out. No matter how many people he pushes through to reach them, he gets pushed back. Namjoon-hyung.. He spots him for a split second before the crowd makes him disappear again, the same thing happening with each member, the bloody arm of Jungkook, the bruised neck of Jimin, the bloody nose of Jin, until he couldn't find any of them anymore. I can't save them..

Taehyung wakes up screaming, making Namjoon bolt up to rush to the bed. The machine that tracks Taehyung's vitals starts beeping loudly.

"I'm here Tae, I'm here.. It was just a nightmare.. You're okay..it's okay.." Namjoon gently wraps his arms around the trembling vocalist, pulling him to his chest. "Breathe baby.. you need to take deep breaths.." He strokes Taehyung's sweat-soaked hair over and over. "You're safe.. You're okay.. It was just a bad dream, you're okay now.."

Taehyung tries to breathe but can't stop coughing. "Nam...Nam..joon..." It hurts..I can't breathe..

"Taehyungie please..you have to calm down.." Namjoon begs, feeling Taehyung trembling in his arms not slowing in the slightest.

Taehyung manages to get a few deep breaths in, dulling the pain.

A nurse comes into the room, turning off the machine. "{What happened?}"

"{He just had a bad dream. I think his fever spiked though..}" Namjoon tells her, feeling the heat radiating off of Taehyung's body. He runs his hand down Taehyungs back, softly shushing him, only letting himself relax when he feels the tremors running through Taehyung slowly die down.

The nurse takes his temperature. "{I'll need to get some medicine.}"

"My head hurts so much.." Taehyung whines softly finally finding his voice, hiding his face back in Namjoon's chest. It feels like someone's trying to squeeze the life out of me.

"{He says he has a bad headache..}" Namjoon explains, to the nurse, relief washing over him when he hears Taehyung's shaky voice. He's calming down at least a little.. "{Could he have some water?}"

"{The medicine will help with the pain..I'll bring some water.}" She leaves the room quickly.

"The nurse will bring you medicine to help.. are you still afraid Tae?"

"Ev-ev-eryone w-w-waas hurt, and...and I cou-coul-coulldn't help them.." Taehyung sobs. Namjoon forces him to sit up, drying Taehyung's eyes with his sleeve. Namjoon regrets asking, seeing the tears rolling down his little brother's cheeks breaking his heart.

"Everyone is safe at the cabin, and I'm fine..see? I'm perfectly healthy." Namjoon tries to soothe him, stroking the back of his neck. "It was just a dream.. okay?"

Taehyung nods, sniffling to try to stop the snot from dripping. "I'm sorry.."

"Don't be sorry.. it's okay. You had a really scary experience and you aren't feeling well. I understand..." Namjoon hugs him back to his chest, not caring about his clothing.

The nurse returns, adding the medicine to the IV drip and putting water on the side table. "{Do you need anything else?}"

"{No. I'll take care of him from here.. thank you.}" Namjoon bows the best he can with Taehyung squeezing him. She awkwardly bows back, leaving the room.

"You want to drink some water, Tae? It might help your throat.." Namjoon holds the cup out to him, putting the straw by his lips.

Taehyung picks up his head, taking big sips. The cold water helps ease some of the pain. "Tha-thanks hyung.."

"Don't drink too much, you'll upset your stomach.."

Taehyung nods, letting him take away the cup. "C-can..We..we call the others?"

"Ah, Tae, hospitals don't have good signal and neither does the cabin.. Tae?"

"Oh.." Taehyung looks down, worry still knotting his stomach. I know they are okay, but I just want to talk to them.

"hey Tae, guess what?" Namjoon asks, trying to keep him distracted until the medicine kicked in, seeing the fear still hasn't left his eyes. "Taehyung-ah.."

Taehyung's eyes were unfocused not registering that Namjoon said anything until the second time. "Huh?"

"Jimin sent a message. Your phone was turned in. He's going to bring it in the morning. Until then you can use my phone.. look Tae, there are messages for you."

Taehyung looks at the phone, scrolling through weverse.

I hope you get well soon Taehyung.

We love you Tae, take care of your health.

Those people weren't really army. Please don't think we're all that way. I love you and respect your privacy.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't believe anyone would act that. I saw the footage online and cried. I hope you recover soon. I love you.

"Footage...what footage?" Taehyung asks, trying to cover a yawn.

"Someone caught what happened on their phone. It got uploaded online." Namjoon answers reluctantly, not wanting to even mention it.

Taehyung didn't want to relive that memory again, continuing to scroll through the messages, stopping when he saw a photo of Gina wearing the baseball cap he was wearing. "She wrote a lot.."

"Who?" Namjoon asks curious about what got him so focused, seeing his eyes dart back and forth.

"Namjoonie-Hyung that's the girl who helped me.. Gina.. she's really mad at the other army..they are calling her a liar though.." He says showing him the message. "It's in English so I can't read it well.."

"A lot of army are really upset about what happened.. I want to thank her. Let me see it. I'll handle it."

Thank you for taking care of Taehyung when we got separated. I'm taking care of him now. Love you, Gina.

Namjoon goes to give the phone back to Taehyung after his comment, but he already fell back to sleep. "Rest well Tae.." He kisses the top of his head. "Love you.." Namjoon takes a quick picture of Taehyung laying on his chest, accepting his fate becoming his body pillow. What am I going to do with you? Namjoon smiles fondly, drifting to sleep himself. Both boys have had a long day...

[sapphic-space-syren]

okay below the cut is a summary of sorts of the ridiculous quasi-relationship I've been in since the end of last year because I need to put this somewhere (links are to my own Tumblr posts, no nsfw images)

no trigger warnings (except maybe infidelity? not sure on that one) but this is a story about sex

at the end of 2022, I moved back with my parents and got a barista job while I waited to see if I'd got into grad school. at said job, there was another barista who was friendly and always told me I was doing a good job (lonely, insecure me appreciated this very much). nice.

after a few weeks, we exchanged numbers and he started sending me... poetry. which became kinda kinky poetry. which became sexting.

which became 'do you wanna get a room'

which became meeting up to spend a night at a hotel on the edge of town. and then when the deed was done and we were waiting for food delivery, he decided to tell me that he's actually a felon who did jail time for [redacted].

might have appreciated knowing that before I drove to the middle of nowhere to fuck you in secret, but alright.

anyway I found out the next day that I was accepted into grad school and would be moving across the ocean within weeks. before I left, he snuck me into his parents' house in the middle of the night for one more ~night of passion~ (this is insane I genuinely can't believe I went along with this) and met me at a tea shop to give me an admittedly lovely set of farewell gifts.

and he told me he loved me. (we're in February now, 2 months after the texting began)

so then I fly away forever and I think good, we'll gradually drift apart and I won't have to deal with the drama of long distance or being with someone who can't even legally travel to my home country because of a criminal record. also he smokes. in general there are a lot of red flags and this is easiest way for it to just... fall apart on its own.

except it doesn't.

the thing is, I've got used to texting him every day and I'm not very good at making new friends within my grad school cohort. I'm still struggling with bipolar symptoms I can't really talk about with anyone but him because there's no-one else in my life who gets it. (he's bipolar too) The fact is everything kinda sucks, school and moving aren't what I thought they would be, and talking to him is the best part of my day. and he calls himself my boyfriend. fuck.

around May-ish, he asks if I'm still planning on visiting my parents soon because he has.... a friend...... a woman.... who he's mentioned in passing but I've certainly never met or spoken to..... but she's seen photos of me and thinks I'm cute.... and she wants to have a threesome.

well, alright then. I'm like... tentatively into it.

except my symptoms are getting worse, a family member died, I'm not handling school very well, so my visit to my parents is postponed a few months. until it's august and I come in bottom of the class, I can barely function, and we decide it's for the best if I take a medical leave of absence.

and fly back to my parents.

so, I'm back! he's so excited! except it takes 3 fucking weeks for him to see me because he keeps ghosting me. or cancelling. or standing me up. so that feels great. and when we do finally meet up he has to go shopping for shampoo for this woman he mentioned earlier. so that's a bit weird.

we spent another night together (his parents were out of town this time, but I still had to dodge their security cameras) and then I don't see him for another month because he keeps. standing. me. up. every other day I drive somewhere only for him to call and cancel while I'm still in the car, or just not appear at all. no explanation.

he does tell me he takes time off work for a hotel night with our alleged threesome partner, though, because (wait for it) she's his GIRLFRIEND and it's their 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY.

which he NEVER told me. not when he was flirting with me. not when he was sexting me. not when he was fucking me and not when he told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me.

now I'm not opposed to polyamory, but it would be nice to be aware I'm practicing it.

anyway.

I've seen him... once in the last month. He gave me jewellery and kissed me and promised he would see me soon and apologised because he had to leave early because his (other?) girlfriend (who I still have not met) needed him.

I have not seen him since. He never calls when he promises, sometimes barely texts, and it drove me absolutely nuts for a bit but I've been trying to just... disengage. I've stopped asking when I can see him, stopped texting first. I'm alone in this town with no friends or social support but I'm starting to think his company is just not worth it.

He promised weeks ago that he would see me this weekend. I haven't asked if he remembers. Stay tuned. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[black-arcana]

Taylor Momsen: My life in 10 songs

October 24, 2022 Words:Steve Beebee

Taylor Momsen has been facing the cameras since the age of two. A child model turned actress, she found her true calling on discovering Soundgarden in her teens. It was a road to Damascus moment, a crossroads where she chose to walk away from a successful career to pursue the thing that made her heart sing: rock’n’roll.

Though embraced by an ardent fanbase almost immediately with hits like Make Me Wanna Die, Taylor’s path with The Pretty Reckless hasn’t always been smooth. The band almost derailed in 2012 when a hurricane destroyed their studio, and – worse – Taylor sank into depression when her long-time collaborator Kato Khandwala died in a motorcycle accident in 2018. But through all the heartache, it has always been her own music that pulled her back to the light.

This is how...

Make Me Wanna Die (Light Me Up, 2010)

Taylor was just 17 when The Pretty Reckless released their debut album. This first single and video was so impactful that it’s now racked up nearly 113 million views on YouTube.

“It was the first burst of inspiration for this band and I still feel that every night onstage. It’s strange because sometimes you can play songs for 10 years and they start to feel old, but Make Me Wanna Die isn’t like that. It feels fresh every time. It has probably changed over the years, but only because it seems to renew itself. There’s a different kind of energy brought to it, depending on what show it is.”

Miss Nothing (Light Me Up, 2010)

The core of the song is about losing your identity – easy enough to do, you might think, when you’ve been modelling for photoshoots since you were a toddler…

“That’s still what it’s about but, again, songs tend to transform over the years, especially when you’re playing live. When you’re making a record you’re almost living inside the song – inside those emotions. It then goes further and you put it into a live setting. It’s not necessarily about the thing that I was initially writing about; it has become a more fun take on that. Of course it’s still very much about that feeling of losing your mind, but as time goes on it gets almost grander, if that’s the right word.”

Going To Hell (Going To Hell, 2014)

Title-tracking their crucial second album, this anthem was written in the wake of 2012’s Hurricane Sandy, which effectively destroyed the band’s New York studio.

“We lost everything. All the recordings, and all the gear. The studio was literally underwater. I’ll never forget writing this song – I spent 12 days sitting in my little shithole of an apartment with no power and freezing cold. I had just 12 candles – 12 days and 12 candles – and the song was written during that blackout. When it was finished it truly tied the album together. It was the title and the song that suddenly made all the other songs make sense, a fortunate burst of inspiration at a time that was otherwise tumultuous.”

House On A Hill (Going To Hell, 2014)

A more sensitive track and an epic departure for the band, here was a song that captured the political fire of its day.

“The world felt like it was in a chaotic place, and House On A Hill came from living in New York and feeding off the vibe and the energy of the people. There was a feeling of a great imbalance of power – you could almost sense that a revolt of some sort was going to happen. It felt like there was a weight on the world. The song is based on how people deal with inequality – and where that takes us in our lives.”

Take Me Down (Who You Selling For, 2016)

This organic blues and gospel-fuelled number revisits rock’s age-old story of making a deal with the Devil at a crossroads…

“I didn’t actually sell my soul to the Devil, but I definitely did give my life to rock’n’roll. I love the video for this – it was directed by Meiert Avis, a dear friend who also directed the video for Audioslave’s Like A Stone. This song was a departure for us – we wanted to create more of a band dynamic. A lot of it was recorded live. On Take Me Down we all just jammed it out in one room, kinda what rock’n’roll should be. It captures a mood that can’t be imitated. That vocal is actually just my demo. I was sitting in the studio just singing along – I tried it later but I couldn’t beat that initial take.”

Oh My God (Who You Selling For, 2016)

With Soundgarden and Nirvana clear in its genes, a bottle of pure rage and self-doubt gets uncorked in spectacular, stress-relieving fashion...

“I was lashing out in frustration, and songs that come this easily are few. It was like a journal entry where I was clearly in a state of some sort. I gave the words to the band and we worked on making a song that sounded how I felt. It has a lot of different emotions – anger, aggression, confusion and self-doubt. But it’s also a fun song to play live because I just get to scream it all out.”

We Will Rock You (with In This Moment and Lzzy Hale)(Mother by In This Moment, 2020)

There’s a Queen influence evident in The Pretty Reckless hit Heaven Knows, so when Taylor was offered a chance to sing on this cover of a classic, she didn’t have to think for long...

“I’ve known Maria [Brink] and Lzzy for a long time. Maria told me they were doing this cover for their new record and would I wanna sing on it. I was like, ‘Err, it’s fuckin’ Queen, of course I wanna sing on it!’ Do I like We Will Rock You by Queen? Of course! So I went into the studio, sang my part and sent it over to In This Moment. They then transformed it into the total gem that it is now. It has a different kind of sound for sure, and it was really fun for me to jump into their world for a short time.”

Death By Rock And Roll (Death By Rock And Roll, 2021)

The death of producer Kato Khandwala pushed Taylor to the brink of despair. The album that eventually resulted – and this title-track – was pure catharsis.

“When Kato passed I fell heavily into depression and substance abuse. To be bleakly honest about it, I gave up on life. The scariest part was that I was content to fade into nothing, but clichéd as it might sound, music saved my life. Writing is the place where I feel most free, and this song and album pulled me through into wanting to live again. The title Death By Rock And Roll is a phrase that Kato often used, and we ended up all saying it as a kind of motto – like a battle cry for life. When he died, that phrase resonated with me in a new way. And the first thing you hear when you push play – those footsteps – those are Kato’s.”

And So It Went (Death By Rock And Roll, 2021)

While the album also featured Kim Thayil and Matt Cameron from Soundgarden, on this belligerent firestarter no less a guitarist than Rage Against The Machine legend Tom Morello stepped up...

“You can tell it’s Tom – that unique sound. I felt this song was crying out for a solo by Tom – the voice he has through his guitar is so distinctive – and we were thrilled by what he did. Having grown up with a father who’d make me mixtapes, I then discovered bands like Soundgarden and RATM in my teens. It was pure and emotive and aggressive and sensitive all at the same time. The song is partly about young people taking a stand – it’s a different time period to House On A Hill, but history tends to repeat itself, and that’s also what made me think of Tom. You can sense that edge of revolt starting to happen again. I stay away from the word ‘political’, but it’s certainly social commentary.”

Harley Darling (acoustic) (Other Worlds, 2022)

There is beauty and humanity in imperfection, as this raw take on a song originally recorded for Death By Rock And Roll proves. It’s the most sensitive of tributes to Kato…

“It’s very much my love letter to Kato. We made it more of a duet, with me and Ben [Phillips, guitar] singing dual harmonies. It was done in one take, so what you’re hearing is essentially fully live. There’s also a new part in this version, because emotions are ever-evolving. Bereavement is something you never get over, but your feelings are continually transforming. The first time I ever sang that new part is on this very recording, and you can hear my voice crack. I bawled my eyes out after it was done.”

[coochiequeens]

How many women being drugged could have been prevented if the cops did their fucking jobs?

By: Kristian Lopez

Posted at 3:54 PM, Jan 06, 2023 

and last updated 8:51 PM, Jan 06, 2023

DENVER — It’s been a few days since Denver7 shared the story of Mia Mainville, a woman from Denver who was seeking justice after being roofied at a downtown bar.

Mainville said she was denied a drug test at the hospital and turned away from Denver police while trying to file a report.

After our story aired, several women have reached out to Denver7 sharing similar experiences.

Mainville said she’s had that same response.

“In the last like two days, I have probably had 60 or 70 people reach out to me, as far as you know, telling me that they have had a similar story,” she said.

Two other women, Colleen Mitchell and Kyra Swarts, saw Mainville’s story on our newscast and reached out to share their stories as well.

“It has been absolutely horrific and heartbreaking to see there are so many women, who, for the most part, have been gaslit into believing nothing happened to them or whatever their story is, doesn’t matter,” said Mainville.

“I was drugged without my consent at a bar. And I had no control over myself,” said Colleen Mitchell. 

Mitchell said she believes someone slipped antidepressants into her drink. She ended up breaking her nose that night. 

"I fell down and I injured myself, you know, something way worse could have happened if my roommate wasn't there to take care of me. That's why I went to the police, so that I could hopefully prevent this from happening to any other women. And when I said that, they said, 'Well, you know, there's nothing we can do unless we get reports from more women,'" said Mitchell. 

“I was essentially told the same thing as these ladies. It was very much, ‘You’re one of the lucky ones, there’s no assault, there was no rape, so we don’t really have anything to investigate,’” said Kyra Swarts, who said she went through that experience a year ago. 

She found the courage to speak up after seeing Mainville's interview earlier this week.

"It was kind of heart-wrenching a little bit to, to feel like you had gone through it, you kind of got past it, you were like, 'OK, I've, I've put it away, it's gone. I can move forward, and then it kind of brought everything back to the surface, like, 'OK, maybe it's not gone. Maybe I do need to deal with this a little bit more.' And definitely just feeling like you've been pigeon-holed by the hospital, by the police department. All those things you're just made to feel like, well, you're one of the lucky ones, so to speak. And don't think any of us feel lucky," she added. 

These women are now calling for police and hospitals to change the way they handle these situations.

“The fact that the simplest things were completely overlooked because we just look like drunk party girls that came in because we couldn't control ourselves," said Swarts. "My discharge paperwork — the very first sheet has all the basics, my vitals, what I was brought in for, any medication I was given, the next six pages are about rehab and detox."

Mia said her paperwork also stated alcohol intoxication and included information on how to seek help with alcohol issues.

“Even though, you know, a lot of us have been turned away or not heard, I think that we just really need to continue making as much noise as possible. And sharing all these stories with each other and not letting, you know, the people who failed us get away so easily,” said Mainville.

Denver7 pressed DPD and some of the hospitals involved for more information. We repeatedly asked Denver Police for an on-camera interview. They did not offer one but sent this statement:

“The Denver Police Department strives to ensure that victims of crimes are heard and feel comfortable reporting any type of incident to our officers. It is regrettable that it appears the experience of these victims did not align with the mission of the Denver Police Department. Generally, if an individual believes they have unwillingly or unknowingly consumed a substance that caused them to become unconscious or affect their motor skills, they should report the incident to police. The Department is reminding our officers of the appropriate report-taking processes for these types of incidents to help ensure they are investigated and documented properly.

We understand that these victims may be resistant to reporting it again, based on their initial experience, but the Denver Police Department encourages them to call so that they may speak with a detective.

With regard to your follow-up question about only testing for someone only claiming they were drugged and not sexually assaulted, it depends on the circumstances, because different hospitals may have different procedures. But generally, if a urine sample is not taken by the hospital, the victim can file a police report and DPD would help to obtain a sample for testing.”

In a statement from St. Joseph's Hospital, officials said: 

“Providing the safest and highest quality care for our patients is a top priority, and the hospital aligns its medical protocols to support the most appropriate and effective treatment. The toxicology test we perform onsite in the Emergency Department does not specifically screen for Rohypnol and may not detect other drugs that could also be used by those with illicit intent. When a patient reports they suspect illicit activity has taken place, our care teams facilitate the involvement of law enforcement or other relevant agencies who can assist individuals using their established protocols in getting support and resources to address the issue while we ensure that their immediate medical needs are met."

AndDenver Health provided this statement:

"Testing for a specific drug like Rohypnol would be coordinated with law enforcement.

Denver Health’s core mission is to provide our patients with high-quality care. When people come to Denver Health’s emergency department, providers focus on the assessment and treatment for acute medical needs. Depending on what the patient reports, a test may be performed. The drug testing available in the emergency department cannot determine if someone was potentially drugged. In those instances, drug testing must be coordinated through law enforcement and performed in a certified specialty lab."

The three women now vow to be a voice for others who have had similar experiences and speak out to make a change.

"I'm really, really glad to be able to talk to so many women and just let them know, like, you know, I'm really sorry, that that happened to you. And you know, I want to help you in whatever way I can. And I want to, you know, hold the people accountable who have turned us away for the crimes committed against us," added Mainville.

Editor's note: Contact7 seeks out audience tips and feedback to help people in need, resolve problems and hold the powerful accountable. If you know of a community need our call center could address, or have a story idea for our investigative team to pursue, please email us at contact7@thedenverchannel.com or call (303) 832-7777. Find more Contact7 stories here.

[beautywithindarkness]

I'm 3 years sober! September 15th 2021. The day I stopped letting the demons win.

part 5 - The end of my relationship/my breakdown/the final stages of the addiction

I think I was around 5 months sober before I started drinking again. I thought I could drink normally now that things were good in life. How stupid was that. I drank one night when he took me to a fancy hotel for the night. I was violently sick, the next day too. I thought to myself "never again!" But I did.. again and again. Our relationship was rocky now because I'd found pictures of his ex and previous girls he'd been with on his phone, so the paranoia had kicked in and we'd argue. (again, I'll save that story for another day.) We started to argue a lot, so I drank more and more as that was the only way I knew how to deal with my problems. Of course this only made things worse. We broke up but we would be back and forth, never quite leaving each other alone. This fucked with my head massively. A lot of mixed signals and confusion. In love but not together.. why?! Trying to move on with other people etc. It turned extremely toxic and quite frankly abusive in ways. I was heartbroken, thinking life couldn't get any worse again... and then my mum moved my brother back in when he got out of prison and I had a mental breakdown. Another suicide attempt because I couldn't go through this again. I was terrified. I was put in a psychiatric ward that night. No blanket, no pillow, just a thin mattress on the floor in a room of cameras. This was it.. mental health at it's lowest, the love of my life didn't want me anymore. I was back to having nothing and back living with someone I was convinced would kill me one day. Back to feeling alone, unloved and unsafe. Again, this went on for a while. I started to drink HEAVILY. So much so I started to experience severe alcohol withdrawals if I didn't drink. Withdrawals that almost killed me on a couple of occasions. I was having severe blackouts where I couldn't remember anything and I also became a completely different person. Even violent and aggressive at times. I was putting myself in danger. I'd wander the streets alone and drunk when I wanted to go get more alcohol. Meet people because I was desperate for company and not to feel so alone. I got assaulted. My life wasn't worth living and I wanted it to just end.. or did I...

[lindsaystravelblogs4]

March 8-12 More of Port MacDonnell

8 March

It was another very hot day so we stayed around the van all morning.  We had some washing and a few other jobs to do but we tried to stay inside out of the heat as much as we could for most of the day.

It cooled down a little later in the afternoon and the wind was not as fierce, so we had a delightful walk on the beach, starting from the caravan.  We walked east for about two kilometres and it was quite fascinating.  I saw quite a lot of birds, particularly at some partly-submerged rocks where we turned back, but the seaweed on the beach was incredible.  A lot of the beach was covered in weed because the high tides seem to encroach close to the dunes at present, and the colour and variety was simply amazing.  A lot of the weed was brown – kelp-like colours, but still with lots of variation, but there were also lots of smaller patches of colour from a range of weed – bright greens, yellows, orange, reds, pinks, black – and a few white shells amongst it all.  We chose a completely arbitrary square metre of beach and counted at least ten species of weed, plus sponges and a few shells.  (We also found a hermit crab that was happy to watch us and wave his legs at us when I picked him up, but he retreated back into his shell as soon as the camera came out.)  Given that there were at least another 20- or 25-thousand square metres of beach that we could have selected, I reckon there must have been hundreds of species of seaweed for us to explore.  We brought back some sea lettuce to put with our veges for dinner, but we really couldn’t taste it much at all.

9 March

We drove back to Mount Gambier to do some supermarket shopping after breakfast.  It was a fiercely hot day with howling winds to make things even worse (the wind seems to be almost constant at Port MacDonnell) but we did what we needed to do and topped up with fuel, including a couple of small jerrycans at a fully automatic station.  We have used these automatic bowsers plenty of times before, but this one was very different from the usual routine, and it needed the collective intuition, intelligence and guesswork of several other impatient people before we all figured out the system.

An interesting thing happened while Heather was in one of the shops.  A car and caravan pulled up near where I was parked and the woman who got out seemed a bit lost, telling her husband to drive a little bit forward, then back, then forward, trying to ensure cars could exit the carpark but so they were not taking up too much of the kerbside parking.  I tried to assure her and then noticed that they seemed to be driving our car.  Their van was nothing like ours, but the car was the exact same model and colour as ours (but a few years younger) with the same configuration of two spare wheels on the back (the only similar 200-series car I have ever seen like that).  The bull-bar was identical, as were the roof bars - down to the two orange bog-mats tied down over the driver with orange tie-downs.  They had the same built-in back section and even identical reversing cameras.   Chatting with the driver, they have also done every other modification, upgrade and addition to their car that we have done on ours.  Even the number plate had most of the same characters in it (but in different order).  It was almost creepy.  And an hour later, we passed them again on the other side of town as we were pulling into the fuel stop.  Six degrees of separation? Maybe two or three at most.

On the way back to Port MacDonnell via a more scenic route, we came across Little Blue Lake (as opposed to Blue Lake in Mount Gambier).  It was another sinkhole but open to the public and there were at least a hundred people there.  The carpark was very crowded and lots of people were swimming.  Many of them were also jumping off the lip of the sinkhole into the lake below – about twenty metres at a guess.  It was not our thing at all, but we took a few photos and left before the many lightly-clad bathers and onlookers shocked us beyond recovery.

We drove along the coast near Port MacDonnell and visited most of the places we had missed on our earlier coastal jaunt a few days ago.  In view of the 40-degree temperature, we did most of our sightseeing from the comfort of the car, even taking most of our few photos through the windscreen, rather than braving the ferocity of the elements outside.  The road only went about ten kilometres or so, with a few short tracks down to small parking areas and walking tracks to the beach – we checked out the views from all the parking areas but never went down to the beach.

We debated going to the pub for lunch but eventually settled on the caravan – getting a parking spot may have been a challenge too far.  We enjoyed the cool of our air conditioner all afternoon.

10 March

We had two (maybe three) longish walks today – depending on whether you count two walks in one area as one or two walks.  We started with a visit to the Germein Conservation Reserve, just a few kilometres out of town.  There were a number of walks there and we started with a loop walk through a bush area.  There weren’t many birds, but the trees were quite varied and interesting.  Some of them were Yellow Gums (Eucalyptus leucoxylon megalocarpa), a subspecies apparently not found in many other areas.  They are quite amazing.  They are really big trees with branches that twist and turn in incredible directions.  The forest was quite dense overall, and they looked to me to be trying to find their way through, or simply explore, their environment, with their branches winding in and out and through and around the rest of the nearby bush.

We then drove to another part of the Reserve, Clarke’s Park, the starting point for a few other walks.  We decided to do the short Frog Pond walk but must have walked about a kilometre before we even found it.  Then we were side-tracked to a reed-clogged lagoon and via a circuitous route back to where the Frog Pond walk started.  We had originally intended to do the Boardwalk walk, but by then, we had had enough, and it was way past time for lunch anyway.  The signage all around the Reserve was very poor, and much of the internal route signs have been removed from their posts, making it very hard to know where you were at any time and which way you needed to walk to get to your intended destination.  We reported this at the Tourist Information Centre a few days later and they promised to try to have the problem remedied.

We had a drink at the pub on the way back through town.  It was wonderfully cool in there but we eventually went back to the van for an hour or two before taking another long walk on the beach.  It wasn’t as good as our previous meanderings, with cars, people and unrestrained dogs everywhere along the beach.  We walked a kilometre or so and then headed back to the van for some great seafood and to watch Episode 1 of a new series (Hinterland) on DVD.

11 March

We spent almost all day in the van today.  It was another sweltering, blustery day so we didn’t want to go out more than necessary.  Despite this, we spent a bit more time out in it that we intended.  There were a few jobs that we needed to do to around the car and van, as well as a bit more washing, all of which had to be done outside in the heat.  And with the wind blowing a gale, I spent almost as much time retrieving things that blew away as I did actually doing the work.

I wrote quite a bit for this blog, but we have virtually no internet here so I am not sure when I might be able to post it.  There is very little data access here and I can’t even connect my PC to the internet via the hotspot on my phone.  I can occasionally connect via Heather’s hotspot but emails literally take minutes to download or send, and accessing a website might take ten minutes or more before I get a message that I have been timed out.  There is effectively no data access and we have been told that the only good access is from inside the public library.  In this day and age…….?  It is very frustrating!

We had been cooped up in the van, hiding from the heat all day, so as it started to cool a little around dusk, we went for a short drive – just along the beach area and out along the rock groin as far as we could go.  It was lovely and cool in the car, and we saw quite a few birds, particularly along the groin.  Then it was back to the van for another excellent meal.

12 March

I ‘lost’ my glasses yesterday and we spent (literally) hours looking for them.  We turned the car and van inside out (not literally, but almost) looking for them, all to no avail.  I remembered that I had them as we went out for our drive last night so I was sure they were either in the van or the car but we couldn’t find them.  We both went through both my bags and every drawer and cupboard, even searching the fridge – nothing!  It was so frustrating.  I got up quite early this morning and drove back out to the end of the groin – the only place I had opened the car door during our drive – thinking they may have fallen out there.  Nothing!  Then this afternoon, we were looking for a small booklet and I rechecked my bag for at least the tenth time – and there were my glasses in a pocket of my bag that I never use because it is so hard to find.  And a moment later, we found the booklet in another bag that we had both also searched five minutes earlier.  I think we might both need new glasses to find my lost glasses.

Yesterday was about 40 degrees with a burning westerly making everything feel even hotter.  Today is 17 with a freezing easterly, chilling our bones.

We decided to walk into town to post a couple of parcels (family birthday gifts) and while there, we decided to have lunch at the pub, despite getting our planned lunch out of the fridge before leaving the van.  We shared a small pizza and a bowl of chips and still brought a doggy box of Happy Hour food home for later today.  It was a five kilometre walk and despite the chill, we really enjoyed it, looking at birds and plants and historical and other local signage along the way.  Our timing was perfect – it started raining just as we opened the door of the van when we got home again.

We spent most of the afternoon in the van and made our own version of paella for dinner.  It was delicious despite us having to substitute a few ingredients for others that we didn’t have.  Creativity is the mother of invention and we created a truly great Dweag Paella.

[recentlyheardcom]

OKLAHOMA CITY (KFOR) – An expert hired to get rid of a snake seen slithering in a South Oklahoma City mobile home park found that the python was 13 feet long and had been in the neighborhood for around five months.“We’re talking, that thing has been eating opossums, foot-long rats, and cats,” said Trevor Bounds of Red Beard Wildlife Control. “The mouth on that thing is the size of your foot and when it opens up you’re going to be able to fit something pretty large in there.”;elm:context_link;itc:0" class="link ">| Sizeable snake seen slithering in OKC neighborhood creates a python problem >On Friday, KFOR reported on the snake seen in Burntwood Mobile Home Park and how staff there told residents to be on the lookout throughout the week. The alert sent also said that they would be taking care of it soon.Experts say that more than likely the snake was a pet that either got loose or the owner let it out.“The constricting is what can be the dangerous part,” said Bounds. “You can’t have small children or pets going near this thing that’s why this should’ve been tackled a whole lot sooner. Things could have gotten much worse.”Red Beard Wildlife Control was hired and started to check out the snake last week. Bounds said that it had been around that area since June and had survived since then.“We were using our thermal camera last week to find it but because it is cold-blooded we had to just look for an outline of him,” said Bounds.Bounds said that the snake is an albino Reticulated Python which is one of the world’s largest species of snake. He said that it looked to have crawled and survived underneath one particular home.“They can get up to 24 feet if you let them, maybe longer. The body on this snake is like Mike Tyson’s bicep but 13 feet long,” said Bounds.The picture of the snake was sent by staff with a warning for residents to look out if they see it around the neighborhood. The warning was sent to KFOR from someone wanting to remain anonymous but wanted to understand how they were handling the problem.The snake started causing problems, Bounds said when half of the cats in the neighborhood started going missing.“That home is pretty long and so getting two people in there in like a foot-and-a-half crawlspace to fight a 13-foot snake is just impossible,” said Bounds. “When we looked underneath the floor at the home it created that’s when we started seeing a bunch of carcasses of large animals.”Bryant Elementary School is next to the mobile home park and a large portion of the land doesn’t have a gate protecting the kids from the potential of a giant python.“They have an animal that large and I can imagine that each one of those cats put up a nasty fight. So, when it’s been attacked that many times and to that extent, the nice non-aggressive pet snake we once knew is no more. This thing is dangerous now,” said Bounds.Bounds said that he has created a trap around the home and has a 24-hour live feed watching it at all times.“As soon as that thing makes a move the camera alerts my phone and then I’m able to get out there and take care of this thing,” said Bounds.You might recall, that Bounds and his crew tackled a skunk that snuck into an Edmond Walmart last year. He said that situations like this snake don’t happen too often but enough that he knows exactly what to do. LOCAL NEWS: 8-year-old sent to hospital after crash in Midwest City “The park’s staff told me to do whatever I can to take care of this problem, they were very adamant about getting this python out,” said Bounds.There’s no exact timeframe on when the snake will be captured and taken away but Bounds said he would let us know as soon as it is.If you or someone you know has any sort of animal issues or needs repairs due to wildlife Bounds said you can call them at 405-919-8101. For the latest news, weather, sports, and streaming video, head to KFOR.com Oklahoma City.

[paulfleischering]

god i miss you so much. i feel like i need to scream it to the hills but i can’t tell it to anybody, least of all you.

i lost the most special thing i could ever have found with you and what’s worse is knowing it couldn’t have been. i love you. i wish i didn’t hope that it will work out in the end—that years from now it will be you and me, true blue, together forever. it felt like that was what was meant for us, even when i know it wasn’t.

this is the first real heartbreak i’ve had. it’s also the most confusing one. how can i remember how fiercely i loved you when i never even touched you? or does that make it more real? our hearts and minds connected before our bodies ever could. maybe that means we were more genuine. i still wish we had had that chance. you used to talk about the day you’d get to kiss every inch of me eventually. that you’d lay next to me, run your hands along my skin, feel me breathe. feel that i was real. the closest we got was watching each other sleep. you were so cute, you know that? you would smile in your sleep and clutch the plush i bought you so tight, and sometimes you would tuck your face into it and i wondered what you were thinking. i just wanted to kiss your forehead. i would zone out looking at you.

i loved when you asked to watch me sleep, too. that was the best sleep i ever had. i would prop myself up just so you could see my face and put on that orange light so you could see me in the darkness. you were working, and you always had to go eventually, but when i woke up and you had gone it didn’t matter because i knew you would be back.

i keep thinking about kissing you. i know how it would have felt. i can feel you on my lips all the time. sometimes i look at the gaps in between my fingers and imagine your hands there and then i have to look away. it hurts a little more every day — like healing in reverse. i know it will be okay eventually, but i really thought i’d marry you one day. i’ve never understood anybody so much. i’ve never been so throughly understood. you knew how my mood was, always, even when i tried to hide it. i always had my tells and you always remembered them.

i think about when you or the situation used to make me cry and we’d still be on the phone while you were at work. you knew i was upset and you felt guilty and you stayed and when i said i was going to sleep you asked me to stay, with my camera on, and when you had the chance to talk to me you’d always try your hardest to make me laugh — you kept me up and i didn’t mind. when i closed my eyes id always start crying again and suddenly you’d be there and you’d tell me that i wasn’t allowed to sleep until i was laughing again. that was the most intimacy i’d ever experienced with anybody, ever. you were perfect, you know. you made me so happy despite everything. i know if circumstances weren’t what they were it would have been you and me together, like we promised.

i wish you were the sort of person who’d stay with me, but you’re not, and i love you all the more for it because it means you’re good. regardless of everything, regardless of wanting to hate you or beg for you to be with me, you’re a good person. you loved me and i loved you and it still exists but never again in the way it was. those versions of us — us, together — are suspended in time now, but they existed, and that means a lot to me.

i’m glad you were mine for a while. i wish i had said it more often, while i had the chance.

i love you.

- your blue