#it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.*

[bananonbinary]

as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

[youkaigakkou-tl]

Timeline of the main story

I actually made this blog to share stupid trivia i find while translating, so stupid trivia you’re getting.

Youkaigakkou is actually surprisingly clear with what happens when, although im not sure if thats the case with all school life manga, since i dont read school life manga that much lol

this is gonna get long real fast, so everything is under the cut

April

Generally the school year starts at the beginning of April, but it doesn’t actually get any more specific than “April”

In yoseito ch 22, its april 18 on hatanaka’s 2nd day of school, so school started on April 17 for him. It also says 200X, and this is 9 years before yoseito, so 10 years before main story, which means the year timeframe is 2010 to 2019.

Chapter 4 (MIki’s lesson) happens at least a week after the start of school

May

Chapter 6: we get a calendar at the end of the chapter!!

pretty shite calendar. why aren’t the columns labelled. honestly not quite sure how to parse this.

i believe ch 7 (spooking lesson + haruaki goes home directly after) happens on may 1st

ch 8 and 9 (the gang goes to haruakis house) happens on may 2nd

the end of ch 9 is the next day and the train ticket says may 3rd

ch 10 (run melos) is a week before midterms, so like, mid may? idk

ch 11 (senseis sunday), pretty sure it’s may 26. see the next point

idk what this is called but ch 13 sure gives us this.

this would be 2013 or 2019, this kinda lines up bc this manga started in 2014

but also theres no world where this lines up with the calendar from above so whatever

ch 13 is sports day prep, which is may 31, friday

ch 14 to 16 is sports day itself, june 2, sunday

June

No specific dates for anything that happens in june (ch 16 to 19)

ch 19 (zashiki and co sneak into school at night) happens a week before end of term exams (early july), so like late june.

July

ch 20 (momoyama perfume) happens right before sano’s birthday! (july 7)

we dont actually get a chapter about sanos birthday. wtf

we get another timetable in ch21, but its the same one as the one above so im disregarding it. this is called reusing assets, a very smart move

ch 21 and 22 (karasutengu troupe introduction) happen on the same day as ch20, just in the afternoon

ch 23 (amaaki impersonation) happens after july 7, thats all i know

everything that happens in july is before the 20th, since thats when summer vacation starts.

a lot actually happens in that small timeframe

ch 26 (teacher trio go to kyoto + reminisce) happens some weekend

ch 28 to 30 (spookology camp) happens at some point, idk

ch 36 to 38 (lost in tokyo) happens a week before summer vacation starts

summer vacation should be july 20, but i cant be sure since it isnt mentioned in any chapter, but the timeframe is around there.

August

ch44 and 45 (beniko haunted house) is august 10, and it says “middle of summer vacation” so the start would be around july 20, yeah...?

ch 46 (beach episode) and ch47 to 49 (miki house) happen on the same day, not sure what day exactly tho.

ch50 (august 31) happens on august 31. shocking!

we also get this calendar.

which would be 2016, which.... wasnt even the year this chapter came out on. this chapter came out in like 2019

September

anyway, second term starts september 1, which we do get confirmation on in ch50.

ch51 (haru and sano get handcuffed together) happens 2 weeks into september

my mans, can you be less casual about predicting the future like that

ebisu came to hyakki at the very least around 2.5/3rd week of september, since the above is already 2 weeks into september, and in ch52 he says “starting next week”

the timeline’s surprisingly tight around this time, since

ch55 (part time job)

ch56 and 57 (culture festival discussion)

ch58 and 59 (youkai train)

all happen within a week or less, and they happen on different days

the culture festival (ch61 to 66) is two days, and happens around 22 to 23 september. the second day of the festival is the autumn equinox/ohigan, which is 23 or 22 september depending on the year

the whole of the renren arc (ch 67 to 77) happens in one day

this one day is actually really tight. in ch67 u can see a clock, i do believe this is around 1:40pm and not 8am

and then another clock in ch70, which is 5:50pm. this is after haruaki was trying to come up w a plan for 2 hours and then actually executing his genius social media slander plan

and then this

and then the whole ordeal actually goes all night, and ends at sunrise

October

Unclear when exactly the school trip happens, but its sometime in october.

ch 83 until ch 90 (so far) has been the 2nd day of their 4D3N trip......

also, a fun bit of trivia:

ebisu’s festival is 20th october, so even when all the other gods are gone for kannazuki, ebisu is still available for worship in october.

the fact that the mangaka managed to line up the exact right characters and situation for this to happen and this detail to be relevant is kinda impressive.

thats all the chapters for now, heres how the months measure up

april: ch 1 to 7 (7 chapters)

may: ch 8 to 13 (6 chapters)

june: ch 14 to 19 (6 chapters)

july: ch 20 to 43 (24 chapters!)

august: ch 44 to 50 (7 chapters)

september: ch 51 to 78 (28 chapters!)

october: ch 79 to 90 (12 chapters so far)

[magnoliamyrrh]

see i agree that oversharing w random strangest isnt particularly the thing to do all the time, but i also feel at times that maybe if we all stopped pretend to be so "okay" and "normal" all the time, things would be a bit better and wed all feel a little bit less.... alone?

idk this wasnt a strangers situation bc we got to know each other well, but i often think back to the two women i met the second time i was in the psych ward who i came to rly care for and get close w

and like. i came to find out one of them was a cutter and felt like a freak for it, and the other one..... had taken sexual trauma response to such a level that she started essentially mutilating herself, like,,,, removing,,,, small parts of her body level of mutilation,,,,, like,, i aint even gonna say on here what she did but ufff

and i was the first person shed ever actually told that she did all that to, bc she didnt trust therapists much (too impersonal, they didnt get it and she was smart enough to do it with surgical precision and not let it get infected so docs knew some of it, but not the full extent) and other ppl in her life just hadnt been that open. but i was just there sharing my trauma and how fucked up my brain gets at times v calmly and openly and without sugarcoating and hiding things

and lol at some point in this entire days-long conversation the three of us were having, i pulled parts of my clothes down and showed them - how my arms and breasts are covered in scars, how my thighs are covered in scars and i look like a zebra, how i still have scars above my pussy from the times i was young and would shave and cut there. to show them that like,,,, theyre not alone, and if they dont think it makes me nasty or ugly or gross, than it doesnt make them either. and that someone understands

and idk. it worked 🤷‍♀️ the second girl in particular anyway told me that spending that week talking to me had done more for her than decades of therapy or psych ward hospitalization or anything else had done, and i was rly honored and glad to hear that

...... so like. idk. i do really think being open abt stuff like that can help. everyones hurting anyway, everyones been through shit and has got issues. weve all got shit that makes us feel like freaks anyway, even the people who pretend otherwise

[bugintheruins]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ty for th ask love 😌🙏🙏

bear in mind none of the details are concrete all of this has just been mush in my head for idk how long and its hard to put it all into word and fit together dhshjsdgfhj so i thing a bit of it is wrong

THE CHARACTER!!

Morel Oakbloom, age unknown even to themself, once halfling turned tiefling suffering with a curse thats slowly turning them to wood!! married to their beloved Tessie, with whom they own a joint business of an inn-bakery tavern thing.

after an incident one night, they have an encounter with what they believe to be Bloom, the goddess of nature in the nearby forest. this goddess, themself and their town worship, and after some chat she offers idk exactly what yet but smth along the lines of power or a wish or a favour or smth, and in return, they will owe the goddess a favour/service or something to that effect. coincidentally, tessie was dealing with some kind of illness at the time so morel agreed and as a result of this entities power, they mutated?? ig?? into a teifling, sprouting a tail horns and painfully over the course of the following weeks, grew over twice their original size.

unbeknownst to them at the time, the deal was made to a malevolent deity, Blight, patron of rot decay and trickery, and sibling to the goddess of nature it was impersonating ;~; SO morel must go workin for blight. with tessie with them, they head for their first “collection” however, they dont get very far into their adventures before shit goes bad. stop number one, a strange circus in the middle of nowhere, controlled by a supernatural force traps them in a hellish gameshow like set, about to incorporate them into its everlasting show, Blight appeares, displeased with morels performance in their work and sets stricter measures for them, tearing their hair, shattering thir horns and committing to staying by their side while theyre serving it. tessie is ripped away from them and sent home, in blights words, “for practicallity”. they serve blight for a time, until they manage to fend it off for long enough that bloom can step in and assist somehow and free them. they return imediately home.

after many years they become a cleric of Bloom and with her assistance, attempts to break out of the deal with blight, as thechnically whatever “contract” they were bound under was never broken. htis lead to themself and tessie being cursed, morel slowly becoming rotted wood, and tessie crystalising. bloom tells them this is curable by a potion, and so the two set out again, this time of their own accord. its around this time that they also unwillingly kind of adopt a small halflling fella by the name of moss (the story’s protagonist) and then shit goes down w him n yeah after a few years he helps out in the bakery and with potion experiments and the like :]

i feel like im forgetting loads but also this is too long already ;-; 

oh yeah also morel dies before the end of the story there wasnt enough of the cure for both themself and tessie, so they leave it to her

ALSO also i didnt mention anything about the root!morels that serve as messengers from blight but yknow thats a whole other post i think

[treecove]

the struggle of trying to communicate with your long distance bf thatyou had only just shared real feelings with right before he had to leave

via SENDING. meaning its like. 25 words max. to share what's happening to you or to hear from him and you can only do that twice a day. and that uses spell slots so you cant use it every day if you used those slots. and you cant use them at the start because youre the healer and people need those slots. so there's so much you have to leave OUT.

and u got all of these muddled feelings u didnt know u had or even were supposed to have or what they meant and JUST finally started understanding those with your bf but then he LEFT. and there's some nice dudes w man tits that ur suddenly able to notice bc of those new unrepressed feelings and it's like. well he's kinda reciprocating. is that bad. i'll ask my kinda? bf? the person i spent years with understanding emotions and learing social interaction and coming out of my shell with? and shared a mutual confsession of feelings and first ever kiss with? to verify that i shouldn't be? wanting to pursue that? because thats obviously not okay to do if we have a thing right?

but can't even explain the situation and that youre asking because you genuinely don't fucking know, youve never done this before, you always asked him or deferred to him, and youre asking because you dont want to make an assumption and wind up hurting him or end up missing a chance to learn something, or express the feelings of 'i was so repressed until you and now i can't even resolve or do anything with all of this and it's driving me insane because youre NOT HERE'

and then EVEN IF U DID. in 25 words it's so hollow and impersonal and you can't even say that you keep getting worked up bc men hot but you wish it was Him. there's so much you want to say and do and it's all new and exciting but he's not here.

and in 25 words you accidentally end up making him think you spent years making him pine over you and FINALLY share something, only for you to jump to the next dude the moment he wasnt there. and you dont even know that's what he's thinking.

[fuyuesu]

are metamorphosis,,, like cute friends or fucked up or,,, what are the dynamics

they're friends!! i love fucked up and evil relationships sooo bad but once metamorphosis get past the awkward "strictly business relationship" mindset they become actual friends

hiiro was the most openly friendly from the start while kaname and momoko were MUCH more closed off. if it weren't for him it probably would've been a Lot more awkward and impersonal for a Lot longer (if not forever possibly) but he just has a way of easing the tension

once theyre past that first stage of their relationship and become actual friends: kaname and momoko are both most fond of hiiro, but hiiro isn't picking favorites between them they are both his friends :) kaname and momoko also get along really well but they're also both fairly cynical and spiteful people and can end up enabling each other in that regard if you leave them alone together . which happens Often because hiiro is also the leader of his own unit and can't always be there for metamorphosis so . whoops i guess ??????

hiiro starts off thinking of metamorphosis as less of a priority compared to alkaloid, but then they both become equally important to him, and he wants to be there for them both! as the most experienced idol in the unit (at least in the case of the current ensquare era, which kaname wasnt around for the start of) he's often helping them with things he didn't understand at first, so kaname tends to rely on him . sometimes he and momoko spar and probably break a wall in the process its all in good fun

kaname has fun reactions so momoko likes good naturedly messing with him while hiiro can prompt fun reactions from him completely unintentionally . theyre both freakishly strong while kaname is very weak and he loses his mind every time they do smth that shows off their strength. he complains abt them but he loves them even if he wont say that out loud. i like giving kaname friends and putting him in funny lighthearted situations he deserves them after the hellhole that was his entire life up until this point

momoko is the most closed off from the start and takes the longest to come around but once she does she comes around HARD. its an honest possibility that she may hold more love in her heart for metamorphosis than kaname and hiiro combined. unfortunately you'd probably have to hold her at gunpoint to admit that (and it especially affects her when it hits her that metamorphosis is supposed to be temporary and she's not supposed to stay with them but . yknow ^_^ it gets resolved eventually don't worry about it)

im cutting myself off before i become worse because honest to god i was not meant to spend this long talking about their dynamics i was literally just gonna say smth like "Yeah they're friends ^_^" and move on but . you know how it is with spaghetti. so in summary Yeah they're friends ^_^

[honeststuff]

Thestor waited patiently for meesha to say something, she was quiet today, quietter than usual. She spoke up " my head hurts."

"Why, what happened? Are u stressed about something?" He asked

"No" she replied shaking her head.

"Then what?" Thestor prompted.

"Leave it. It doesnt matter, its not big of a deal. Tell me about your day." Meeshtha didnt want to spoil the mood, she was already sad enough and didnt want Thestor to be upset too.

"My day today summed up in animal training. I examined ruby and emerald and i think they are almost ready now" she liked how he named his dogs after jewels. He never showed but she knew he would love to have his own dog companion. If it was in her right she would have bought him one already. If only life was that simple.

They talked for hours. Sharing their intermixed personal and impersonal thoughts. However it was time to go now. She always hated saying goodbye, but it was necessary. "I need to go now." Meeshtha said interrupting thestor.

Thestor wanted a little more time, few more minutes perhaps. But he knew, he cant, he had no right, afterall he was all but a friend. He nodded his head once, acknowledging their time limit. "When will i see u again?" He asked but never got the response. He felt her hand slide away from his and heard sound of her footsteps fading. He wanted to see her badly, stare into her eyes so that he could read the depth of her emotions, but he never can. It was stolen away from him 'the power to see' among other things. He should be bitter about it, he should be angry, he should be many things. But he was just stone. He refused to waste his time on thinking things that would never change.

Meeshtha returned back, thestor gave her some solace but it wasnt enough. She brimed with the desire to revenge, revenge for what had happened to her. She knew all so well that there was no reasoning woth half wit and neither would someone blame him. So she took matters into her hands. She creeped her way into half wit's chambers and found his most prized possession - a wooden helicopter. It was ray's father last gift to him and the only thing ray gave a fuck about. It was time to teach him a lesson. She took the wooden helicopter out. Set it on ground anf blazed it. It looked mesmerizing. Fire grew and grew. The glow of burning it soothed her soul. She disappered from the scene. Soon people gathered around fire. She looked from the distance, the moment half wit registered what it was. She heard him crying, bawling his eyes out. She waited for a flicker of regret to come but nothing her heart was empty. It was not fair, she knew that.

But then again whoever said life was fair didnt live long enough to enjoy all the fairness.

It was a payment, payment for hurting her. Soon everyone would know what she did. Some would fear her, some would criticize her. It doesnot matter. Everyone was bad guy in someone's story and she rather enjoyed being villan. She went to the lake where her family had gathered to complete last of the rituals of day. She looked into the river. Her reflection stared back at her. In past she would have been horrified at destroying something. However now her thoughts are somehow changing from an empath to a sociopath.

"Did u enjoy it?" Beatrix came close to her and asked. Ofcourse, she was the first to guess, she always is. Wheather it was a twin thing or not but meeshta shared a deeper bond with beatrix, sometimes telepathic even.

Meeshtha shrugged in response. She had no desire to small talk. She sucked at it anyways.

"Father knew where you went today." Beatrix told.

It wasnt a secret. Everyone knew going to high required blood and pass. Her father was at high position and he monitored everything at haveli. So it wasnt a big surprise that he knew.

Meeshtha shrugged again.

"Mother was talking to him, she thinks its time for your another session" beatrix continued.

"So soon?" Meeshtha asked with tremor in her voice.

"Yes, they also suspect that something is going on. They are afraid that you will become just like kaj."

"Kaj, there is nothing wrong with him. Dont you dare speak that way about our brother."

"I am just warning you of what's ahead. You need to get your act together." Beatrix emphasised.

"I dont give a fuck about it" meeshtha yelled angirly.

Gr8! Once again she had turned spotlight on her. She need to get away from here. She took two long steps and heard Beatrix calling,"run, run meeshtha like you always do. But remember there is only so far that you can go."

Wasnt that the bitter truth. This place only offers an illusion of freedom, there's no way out. Unless! 'No don't think about it'

She was just about to step into her room when she heard her mother calling," meeshtha come here, your dad wants to have a word." She laughed internally. A word. No its a session. She knew it. She trembled in fear thinking about what would happen this time. Whenever it was time for session, she lost a part of herself. She didnt know how much more of it she could take it. Suddenly, she thought of Thestor, she desperately wants to go to him, tell him she needs him. But she cant. It was all just wishful. She steeled her spine and refuse to cower. But no matter how much she convinced herself, every step she took weakened her resolve.

[exobrasiloficial]

Things i liked in hotd:

Most of the costumes are much better than the ones in GoT. They gave us vibrant fabrics, weird cuts, funny looking heraldry, everything a medieval setting needs. And dont even make me mention the over the top armors looking straight out of the book pages.

Casting was spot on for all the characters. I thought i wouldnt like matt smith as daemon but he does a good job. Highlights for me were paddy, olivia, emma and ewan.

The dragons' designs are amazing, they all look beautiful and unique and COLORFUL and each has a distinct personality. Overall a huge improvement over GoT's copy paste trio. I especially loved the idea of making different breeds, that was something i wasnt expecting.

Im gonna sound like a broken record, but i cant get over aemond's character design, he just looks so cool. Such a refreshing design for the series. Im glad they embraced the over the topness instead of going the euron route like in GoT.

The emotional core of the story is very good. It was gut wrenching to see rhaenyra and alicent go from loving, to falling out, to almost reconciling and now to deeply resenting each other, all bc of wrong decisions and situations beyond their control.

Things i didnt like:

Alicents costumes are beautiful and i live for the headpieces, but some of the fabrics and styling looked a bit too modern to my tastes, to the point of bothering me. There were a couple of dresses of hers that reminded me of cersei's styling in s6 onwards, which i dont like.

Whats up with the foggy, greyish filter they use? Ngl i much prefered the high contrast and warm lighting of the early seasons of GoT. Also, the extremely dark night scenes where i cant see shit is a HUGE no for me, have they learned nothing from the long night fiasco?

Time jumps. Yeah, ik, everyone dooked on them, but it cant be overlooked. The time frame depicted in eps 6 and 7 SHOULD have lasted longer and not just bc of the amazing kid actors. We needed more time to get used to all the new characters and relationships they presented. I would have loved to see more of the politics of the kingdom now that alicent has not one but 3 sons, as well as the dynamics between all the children and their relationship with the adults. What did rhaenyra feel for her siblings? What did they feel for her? Did rhaenyra have more supporters then? Did the population know of the bastard rumors? We DONT KNOW.

Far too many ignored and rushed characters. Laena, laenor and harwin were used as simple plot devices. Halaena and especially baela and rhaena have very little to no personality and we know nothing about how they feel about the events and other characters. That is a direct problem of the nature of the book being adapted. Asoiaf has many characters, but each serves a purpose and makes an impact. F&B doesnt have characters, it has a bunch of names grrm crampled in there so he could make a dragonrider civil war.

I already mentioned it, but we DID need to see rhaenyra and her siblings properly interact. Some will say the wars in asoiaf can be impersonal, like tywin and robb having the biggest rivalry in the first half of the story and never once sharing a scene, but that doesnt work here. The dance of dragons is a family infighting and the show goes out of its way to portray it as an event caused by human relationships getting in the way of politics and vice versa. We needed to know what the two monarchs fighting for the throne think of each other. Think of stannis and renly, for example.

There are more but i'll have to rewatch to properly talk about them

[bunnyandcomet]

hiya i saw ur tags & since that post is a bit older now i'd like to add yamete kudasai & kannagi are both series songs too!! yamete kudasai is most similar to laboratory in that she's also pretty focused on her own loss of self/disappearing, she's also not able to continue BUT she's blaming others & bitter that they're all kind of being pushed into that ending as the reasonings & decisions the other people tell her make it very easy to become impersonal & just feel like a task to do & of course as per the rules once they stop doing things of their own will they dont get to continue. so theres no main motif in this one either. i need to stress that even though shes VERY upset she's no where near as aggressive or mean about it as the unplanned apoptosis chara. kannagi on the other hand DOES have the main nami no ne no motif as well as a second motif the rute furute wo a thats also very noticeable in both kyuuyaku hankagai & shuuen touhikou! unfortunately the lyrics are no where near standard japanese to the point theres comments from native speakers joking the song is what jpn sounds like to foreigners. theres a decoding effort going on on the jpn atwiki but last i looked it still wasnt enough to definitively say the songs direct meaning so all i can say for sure is its linked heavily to the other songs. sorry for the long ask but i thought u might be interested if u didnt already know

Sorry for the late reply but thanks so much for the info! I discovered this series from kannagi being in vocacolle and it was such a banger I fell down the rabbit hole into the rest of their works. It’s suuper interesting and right up my alley but also difficult to find the meanings and connections between the songs, so I really appreciate all your analysis!

[silasbug]

dream log Nr. -007

26/04/2022  (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

just had the meanest teeth falling out dream ever, because I was 100% convinced that I was awake, ughhhh

My dream kind of impersonated yesterday a little- I was at work, having a regular day, when weirdly two of my teeth started feeling loose. I was just checking out customers, then there is this lady who says that she got vaccinated recently but isnt happy about it, and that she only did it to be able to safely walk around outside without a mask & she wasnt wearing one. As I laugh and am about to do the "softly agreeing with them to avoid discussion, offense, or anything of the sort" the lady customer (she had a daughter with her) kind of interrupts me as I am talking. So I let them talk while I notice that my conveyor belt isnt working as usual, that it keeps turning through even though the merchandise has reached the point where it should stop automatically. So while they're talking, I notice those two teeth on the bottom left side of my mouth becoming loose. While this is happening, I notice Kevin is checking out in the lane behind me. As the vaccinated lady leaves & I turn back around the lady and her daughter are gone. I'm confused but?? Ok, happens sometimes when they go back to fetch something they forgot. So I start checking out this man who I remember had shopped with me (IN DREAM) before already and had these weird fruits- they were like green skinned kaki with patches of kiwi-like fuzz on them. I ask him what they are and he tells me "Citronella" so I remember him and say that I remembered him (as he’d bought the same fruit at my register before) and kind of apologize for having to ask again. As he is checking out with me, Kevin kind of comes over and we banter like we did yesterday when I was actually at work (incidentally we did so while I was cleaning the orange juice machine and it smelled very citrussy lol).

Eventually Kevin leaves and I finish up with my customer, the lady still is nowhere in sight. Until suddenly one of my teeth feels so weird, I try pushing it back in or something and instead I kinda spray-cough blood into my hands and the tooth comes out. The lady is suddenly back and looks disgusted. Then she is just gone again and so is her Einkauf (the items she wanted to buy, her haul?). I kind of run to the bathroom (in the dream I was just suddenly there) and look into my mouth, the teeth arrangement was weird but felt totally normal to me, so I get over myself and pull out the second loose one as well and kind of cry about it but take solace in the fact that they are now even on both sides. It still emotionally fucking sucked. I pocket them and go back to the register. Somewhere in between I am also talking with Kevin again about my teeth and I tell him that I have dreams about loosing my teeth and that I am certain I am not asleep right now because otherwise I would've already woken up. I try to wake myself up by lightly slapping my own face but it's not working, so here I am sleeping and 100% convinced that I am awake. Fuck. I better call the dentist after my shift to finally make an appointment after years.

So I sit back down and there is this guy and a girl, the girl has really nice long, straight brown hair and looks, in hindsight, vaguely like a musician that I like (Ethel Cain). On the conveyor is this weird little toy and an Ü-Ei cracked in half. I'm confused but eventually figure out that the toy came from the Ü-Ei and that she'd just already cracked it open for it. She goes to tell me the price since the barcode on the wrapper is too badly damaged. THIS weirdly leads into the second part of the dream where I am no longer in the store and become aware that I am actually dreaming.

In hindsight there were some things that should've given away it was a dream but it seemed to normal- my register looked way different than it usually does, it was just conveyor belt until the end and not the end it usually has where the ware pools when youve scanned it. The lady's shopping just disappearing into thin air. Fruit that doesn't exist. Me having already missing teeth.

So the next part of the dream went completely wild off of that little Ü-Ei toy which was a Pokemon toy (another giveaway- there never was anything good or cool in those things). I was on this weird hike with some people and there was a girl who was going to leave the country soon- she was apparently french (didnt speak german) and was going back home. I know there was something else or a segway to this part of the dream but ofc I dont remember that. So we walk thru the forest which is really prettily lit with oranges and yellows, we stand on some rocks, appreciate the nature and such. Eventually we get to this clearing where there are some strange pokemon-looking figures or plushies in the middle. I can't describe it exactly, but eventually it turns out it's a ritual site, the girl with the Ü-Ei from the dream reappears and kind of puts a spell on us, where we all stand in a circle and become spiritually attached to one of these pokemon and she chants something along the lines of power, feeling it, accepting it, having to choose it. It was very empowering to be honest lol because it was basically like "You can choose to allow yourself to feel empowered, you dont have to accept that this world has made you feel weak", but it was also overwhelming in the dream so I cried, but also in sadness because we were trapped and being bound to pokemon, and the french girl was left out because there werent enough totems and she just.. vanished

then I woke up, good times

[carouseldreamdiary]

05.05.23

sum bullshit happened and i was with kim and for sum reason bear was talking to me thru my phone and i was like how is that right hes dead so after a long time we coaxed him to call us and i was

talking rly gently to them and trying to get them to speak so i could hear if it was actually bear or not and finally they spoke and it totally wasnt him . and i think i cried and redacted hugged me and the guy pretendign to be bear was like "oh yeah bear i remember u

tellin me about him who was he let me look back oh yeah u said oh man u said he killed himself oh man im sorry" like BRAH .. how could u not know who u were impersonating then i hung up the phone and i ran away from redacted cuz i was so upset and i was in valencia metro

i was pushin past ppl trying to get out and this older lady pushed me back really hard and i turned around and screamed at her like not sayin anything just screamin like an animal and she spat at me so i spat back at her and she got SO ANGRY . so i started running up the stairs

to get out but once i was out she kept spitting at me everyone in the street seemed to think this was the funniest thign ever and was just watching her chase me and laughing . even when i tried to hide in the crowd they all just told her to come over here and gave me up

i eventually crawled into a house and i met kim again and we wandered thru the backstreets of valencia most of the day and noticed that lady (i think her name was eva) had started a campaign against me . she had these massive lilac floats w her face on them spitting on me

in the space of a day she had gained the popularity of like a political figure everyone loved her and were patrolling the streets for me . we finally decided to rest on the doorstep of this shop with steep steps that reached like 5 metres in the sky and as we were sitting there eating pizza a bunch of her supporters were parading down the street and idk why i didnt move but they spotted me and all started joyfully yelling for eva to come over and her huge lilac float turned down the street and then i think i woke up

the float posters were like this

[merakiui]

I LITERALLY WASNT EXPECTING U TO WRITE ALL THAT FOR MY YAN TWIN OBGYN ALBEDO ASK BUT OMFMFMMGT IT WAS SOOOO GOOODDD

now presents the question how on earth will real albedo react when he comes back? darling will obviously be more comfortable grinding into his finger when he examines them again and he just ??!! gets slightly flustered but tries to maintain a professional visage but keeps questioning why your breathy pants are increasing when he’s barley touching you.. that’s gonna be a hard one to explain

I’m happy you enjoyed it!! :D The idea of his twin impersonating him from time to time and you never notice it is just so good…

(cw: yandere, nsfw, pregnancy)

It’s so hard to explain, but nothing’s harder than his dick because he is struggling. >:( Either you’re being a tease or your hormones are especially wild today. He just manages to keep his composure despite the fact that your breathless, needy whines and movements have his dick straining against the fabric of his boxers. He hasn’t even started the physical exam yet and you’re already begging him to stick his fingers inside. He’s not sure if you even hear what you’re saying and he almost doesn’t register what you say at first when you ask him for a kiss.

“A kiss?” He raises a brow, perplexed. Of course he wants to kiss you. But…why? What’s brought this on?

“Like you did last time,” you mumble, avoiding his stare out of embarrassment. “Sorry, I know it’s probably not professional, but it felt really nice when you kissed me. I was hoping we could do it again…”

He’s never kissed you before. As much as he has fantasied about it during check-ups, he’s never actually initiated it because that would be inappropriate, especially since he’s meant to be professional about everything. With you it’s just so difficult to resist. There’s so much he wants to do to you, but he knows he can’t.

But if you seem to believe that he kissed you, who is he to let such a good opportunity slip away? And he takes advantage of this moment to truly kiss you and feel your lips on his own. It’s a moment he’s always thought about and now it’s finally real. And after the both of you pull away, he finds himself going in for one that’s far hungrier than the last. Maybe it’s okay if he allows himself to be greedy just this once. After all, he’s held back for so long. Surely he deserves a little reward for all of the days spent relieving himself to lewd thoughts of you after each and every check-up.

In the back of his mind, he wonders why you’re suddenly wanting to be so intimate with him. And then it hits him. How could he forget? It’s not him you want to do these things with. It’s someone who you thought was him—his twin, the one who he thought knew nothing about you. Well, this hasn’t done much harm. You still believe it’s Albedo who kissed you; you still trust him. It’ll be okay. Although that doesn’t mean he won’t have a long talk with a certain someone later…

But for now he’ll savor this moment because it’s something he’s been waiting for. And maybe one day the both of you can do more than just kissing. :) He can certainly hope.

[rommahh]

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

[melancholycatastrophe]

Why Dream Isn't Manatreed, A Semi-Serious Theory:

okay hear me out

Dream isn't Manatreed, but he knows who Manatreed is. This is because "Ollie" is an irl friend of Dream who wants to get into streaming. Dream is known for wanting to take his friends with him when it comes to success, as we can see from how often he involves his friends in video ideas and adding them to his popular streaming services. So when this irl friend, who we will call "Ollie" for the time being, although I am aware that this can be a fake name, mentioned his interest in streaming, Dream devised a plan to get him as much clout as possible before he can even make a twitch account.

This explains why "Ollie" follows not only Dream and Sapnap (who follows him back, which is strange because Sapnap isn't known for following random people who pose as his faceless best friend) but also their friends. He also follows Elon Musk but that's okay, nobody is perfect. And why Ollie knows about dteam inside jokes.

Additionally evidence to Ollie being a friend of Dream:

his first tweet was made on june 18th, the same day as the infamous best friend quiz discord podcast. Remember how Dream left almost immediately after finding out he was a little bit in love with George? What if this wasnt him hiding back in the closet but he instead needed to help Ollie set up his account and make an introductory tweet.

He has 7 tweets in total, and 4 of them aren't Dream-related. Furthermore, it seems that he only posts on days when Dream was noticeably active. I think this is because Dream helps him figure out what to tweet.

If you scroll through his likes, 99% of them involve Dream or Sapnap in some capacity, which is odd considering he follows over 100 people but only likes things about Dream.

this is his first interaction with George. If it really was Dream, he would've interacted with him earlier. This is why I think Ollie is someone who actually knows Dream and by extension Sapnap, and not just a fan.

He's from Florida, where Dream and Sapnap live now. On his Instagram, he only follows 22 people, most of whom are dream and his friends.

His twitch account is barren. If it really was some random guy, why hasn't he streamed yet? He has the clout, whats stopping him now- unless he has to wait until Dream tells him.

this is the first instance Dream denies that Ollie isn't him. Dream is usually quick to deny people who impersonate him, so why would he wait so long to do so? In a way that makes fun of something Dream would definitely do? Also bestie, where's the /srs?

And the most damning thing of all,

why would dream reply to a tweet from June 27th? How did he find it? There's no mention of Dream's name anywhere, unless he already knew about this tweet and decided to start his plan to get Ollie as much clout as possible.

in conclusion, Ollie isn't Dream, but he is an irl friend of Dream who wants to get into streaming and is doing so by participating in a batshit plan to get him as much clout as possible. Other ccs know about this plan, which is why they're joining in the jokes about Ollie possibly being Dream. George participating is also proof that this isn't a stranger because he never replies to random people on Twitter (or at least not as often). Of course, my theory is subject to change as more information is unearthed, but these are my preliminary thoughts.

[sundropglass]

1, 12 & 26? 💜

Hi blue!!!thank u <3

1. Do you have an inner world? If yes, is it something you consciously made? What is your inner world like?

we do! its consciously made. When I was young I figured out that since I'd never have a home to feel secure in, I can make a safe place in my brain to come home to.

It's based loosely on a valley I saw in the Rocky Mountains once, wide and expansive, but mountains on all sides keep in in a sort of landlocked bubble? It's all flowers in the middle(we call it the flower meadow)! there's a forest with tall, dark trees behind the Cottage. (The Cottage is where we all live, and its more like the size of a church than a cottage. there are no front doors, only back doors in various places)

there's a little stream, and a greenhouse tunnel from the forest to the cottage, and a windmill that's a work-in-progress. It was a suggestion from my fiance to have something we can look out for parts with, like a high-up place to look from. I might integrate that into a tower addon to Mr. h's room, actually..

There's only one place I didn't purposefully make in the cottage, but I guess it helps to have a visualization of what trauma stuff looks like

12. Do you have any other identities that make your experience with your dissociative disorder different, such as neurodivergency, other disorders, or gender/racial identities?

Not from what I know? I'm autistic, but so are a lot of my other dissociative friends

I have no sense of identity, that's the disorder oTL

26. When would you tell someone you have a dissociative disorder? How do you explain your DID/OSDD?

rlly, rlly long and full of shame response!!!!!!

eugh, shamefully, it is not a well kept secret and nearly all my friends who are close enough technically Know. My Symptoms are a pretty serious and overt problem. I cannot understate enough how I do Not have anywhere at all to go or be thats not around my family IRL, even nowadays, so I don't have that social masking a lot of people do(IRL at least). Blatantly put, I'm disabled by my DID and I need accommodation most the time(for at least my PTSD symptoms...ohhh the shame shame shame!!!) so my fiance and I just have the agreement that if I'm going to be around someone very closely for an extended period of time, he can explain for me.(he doesn't mind) I don't like being there for that(shame shame shameeee) but I trust he explains the bare minimum to get the point across (Probably something like "she has pretty severe PTSD and can easily have a weird episode" or something like that)

ANYWAY, when its on my own its probably for someone else's sake most the time (like helping my sibling's partner understand my sibling's fragmentation with my own examples, ect ect) so I actually have an impersonal explanation that goes like this:

"everyone has parts! the you at work, the you in a social situation, ect. My parts are separated by dissociation and amnesia from childhood trauma"

Depending on the situation I might elaborate more on my personal experience or on what I'd read about the disorder. I usually feel very shut off from it, so when I get the 'o no im sorry u went thru that', I get confused like ???? No, I am Telling You Something, shut up (all the autistic emphasis on Telling, not sharing. I am Telling, there is not an emotion behind this and I'm not looking for a response!!!!!!)

I try to keep it to the bare minimum or to not say at all, but when it comes to hindering my relationship and I can't shrug it off, I usually at least explain the chronic time loss thing, and as much as I try to work around it, I'll keep slipping up for small things and I need some extra patience, I'm sorry

im sorry this is so long!!! I'm really ashamed that people Know. this is not a come-out-to-everyone situation for everybun ofc, just...I did the hiding it thing and it wasnt enough to cover the 'bunny what the fuck is wrong with you' thing, and I just don't care anymore. It turns out when I was more honest with the people I love and needed accommodation for, suddenly I had a strong support system who understand me more. And the people who have hurt me by knowing about my DID are weighed out by the people who love and protect me

[maccreadysimp]

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant