#do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere

[bananonbinary]

as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

[isenstar777]

I'm beginning to hate being told my feelings and choices are 'valid'. I know they're valid. Specifying that they are valid just raises the possibility of invalid feelings and choices. Every time I'm told 'and that's valid' it feels like the next word in the sentence will be 'but' and you'll tell me why it's wrong or invalid. I hate it.

[rabbiteclair]

step 1: build a professional-looking, ad-free site that will perform formatting and validation on a wide variety of file types used for configuration and data transfer (.properties, YAML, .config, JSON, etc), and decrypt file contents if people will just paste in their handy dandy private key/shared secret/etc. Yes, there are already sites for this stuff, but they're fairly scattered and ad-infested.

step 2: perform whatever SEO skullduggery is needed to get your site to the top of the Google search rankings.

step 3: once your site has established itself, pass every single thing that gets pasted into it to a backend service. If you wanna be coy about it, continue doing the validation in Javascript and pretend that the backend calls are metrics. Listen, if you make the URL something like https://admin.yourhosthere.com/datadog-agent then 90% of devs are gonna go 'yeah that seems legit, it's just my good friend Datadog :)' and investigate no further.

step 4: parse every message for strings like 'username' and 'password'.

step 5: now that you have production credentials for about 40% of international corporations and governments, hold the planet hostage.

step 6: rule the world from a flying volcano lair staffed with jumpsuit-wearing henchmen.

(traditionally the henchmen would come before the world conquest, but like most things, supervillainy has gone through massive changes thanks the internet)

[reikiajakoiranruohoja]

Important notes to kids/teens online from a former internet kid

I want to preface this by saying that I understand my time was very different and social media has poisoned the well IMMENSELY. However, I feel these notes are still valid.

Anything you put to your blog/tiktok/twitter/etc. is now public knowledge. This is important, when you put that content out there you are essentially putting it on the public corkboard or on a newspaper.

Strangers do not need to know you are a minor. This is the biggest one, do not advertize you are a minor. Do not use VC unless you know the people well and even THEN extremely sparsely.

Child/teen groomers are not the only dangers online. Loose lips sink ships goes the old propaganda poster and in this case it is very true. Groomers are a problem, but they are by far the smallest ones compared to house thieves, dedicated trolls, racists and potentially even political zealots. Don't advertize vacations, don't mention where you live or what jobs your parents or you have, don't mention or even take pictures of your school. Don't make yourself OR your loved ones targets.

Just lie. I'm not talking about lying about your race or sexuality, but whenever you need to tell about yourself in a casual setting (NOT on online stores, government websites, etc.) just add or leave out details. You have three cats instead of four, you live in the next town over, etc. The important thing is that you are NOT consistent with the stories, change details depending on the crowd. The point is to drown the truth in lies so there is no trail to follow.

Keep real life and online separated. This is just so you can have a place to go if you end up in drama in either. Have non-online hobbies and don't involve your IRL friends in your online stuff.

If you look up NSFW stuff, keep it to yourself. I don't know how else to explain this, you do not have to announce you are a minor if you go looking for smut/porn/lemon. In fact, the best thing to do is to stay quiet. Please not, this only applies in PASSIVE nsfw content, such as fics,comics,art and such. Stay away from the active stuff.

Your safety is more important than the approval of your peers. You don't owe anyone your personal details.

[catgirl-catboy]

I have some questions

When does “it’s just fiction” stop being a valid justification? We all know that “it’s just a joke” has its limits enough racist jokes and you are practically doing nothing different then that form an actual racist and are causing the same amount of harm. Same with fiction, ofcourse it’s not 1:1 but we do know fiction can have a strong influence on the real world and people.

How is “it’s just fiction and “it’s juts a joke” different in you opinion?

And when does “it’s just fiction” hits its limits?

Thank for taking your time to answer

I got a big smile when reading this ask, since I genuinely do love debating these things. Too much hate in discourse, not enough genuine debate. I feel like "when its just fiction" becomes a problem for ME vs when it becomes a problem for YOU vs when it becomes a problem for the GOVERNMENT is 3 completely different questions. I don't want the damn government, or the damn tumblr staff, or whichever authority, to have any say in what should or shouldn't be written about, simply because that power is so easy to abuse. I feel like the moment you allow censorship in any capacity, SOMEONE'S going to want to make it impossible to publish a negative opinion about them.

So that means I think it should be legal to publish whatever racist, sexist, bigoted content you want. Even if I disagree with it. Even if it makes me want to puke.

Even if I'd stop being friends with someone because they agree with the author.

Even if I'm a proshipper, I have personal lines that I'm NOT willing to cross. Some of these lines are based off my morality (for instance, I'd rather be caught dead before I give money to anyone that supports autism speaks), and some are based on my personal tastes and trauma. (not giving an example of those for obvious reasons.)

Its one thing that I feel a lot of antishippers don't get, that personal disgust doesn't always correlate to immorality. Sometimes it very much does, but I don't think that should be the default stance.

But I think that I, along with every other human being, should have the right to decide what counts as "too far" for myself. I don't want strangers doing it for me, and I don't want authority figures doing it for me, because they will invariably cater to their own interests. If people choose to read or write shit that makes them worse, thats on them.

So what counts as "too far" is really something you'll have to decide for yourself.

(Personally, I judge it on a "I know it when I see it" basis, and tend to exit out of a lot of stuff as a result. Sometimes you open a fanfic and their portrayals of queer characters, female characters, or just life in general. The reason? Most of the time I don't read fanfic to challenge my existing worldview and be uncomfortable. I read fanfic to be sad, or feel lonely.)

[themurderofcrowscollective]

Some kind of post introduction thing

(Finally updated the socials - Mokou) Hello, we are the Murder of Crows collective! There are over 331 of us in one body, each of us ranging from different ages between the ages 13 to 36 but the body age is 20. (Some alters don't have ages or are ancient fuckers) So with that being said, DO NOT INTERACT WITH US IF YOU'RE UNDER THE AGE 18. It is none of your business about the validity of our D.I.D, you're not a professional therapist/psychiatrist and it shouldn't matter if there's a lot of us, we're not in the right place nor are we financially able to get properly diagnosed and we've discovered about our D.I.D in January of this year (2023). - - - Fandoms: Too many to count, honestly. Diving back into Merthur and Batfam stuff though, need a new hyperfixation anyways. We also indulge in the horny stuff, you've been warned twice now, Interact at your own risk. If you become friends with one of us then there's a chance they've put their names in the tags, you can also search for said tags. At some point we might make a list of all of our names, as there are lot of us but do note that some of us are Fictives (Fictional Character alters) and Octives (Fictional Original Character alters) so if you have an issue with our existence, then you can leave. The block button exists for a reason. - - - Also don't be scared about where we stand, we're all part of the LGBTQ+ community and all of us are mentally ill so if you're as weird as us then we'll get along greatly. What else? Hmm... Oh yeah, Don't Talk To Cops. Fuck The Government. Black Lives Matter. (Lil side note: Most of us have religious trauma and a lot of trauma overall, so it'd be greatly appreciated if any talk of religion, politics and the QAnon cult is avoided and ignored. Thank you for understanding.) - - - Find us out there! VRChat: Murder-Of-Crows Cohost: @TheGalaxySystem Discord: murder_.of_.crows_. AO3: MossyCrow413 Roblox (yes we play roblox): @ZombiMothShroom (Display name is MurderOfCrows) The crows are watching.

[hellsfirekeepsyouwarm]

Don't Come To Me Pt. 3

Helloooo! Here i am with the next part. It's a little slower one, but i think it turned out good. I'm happy you guys wanted more, and i'm really into writing for him rn. I can't stop with the love triangle stuff, so bare with me. (i am in my Triple Frontier days guys, so i'm positive i'll have some content with the boys. :))

Billy Russo x F!Reader

Warnings: Billy being kinda selfish, Billy being kinda possessive but in a sexy way.

Summary: Billy decides what if wants, and he wants two things. You, and a victory over his best friend.

Taglist: @icarus-isflying @intothesoul

PART 2 PART 4

"You should have left her out of this, Frank." There is a heavy feeling on Billy's chest, his whole body shaking in anger. His choice of words are way more gentle than the ones in his head raging. "Why the fuck did you involved her?" He speaks again when the only thing on the other side is Frank's breathing.

"She's not involved in anything, Billy." Frank's answer just fuels Billy's fury, the grasp on his cool dissolving by the second. Billy grabs the edge of the couch, collecting himself, remembering you are sound asleep, drunk on a whole bottle of whiskey, only a couple feet away. He cannot lose control right now.

"Don't act like death doesn't follow you like a shadow everywhere you go." It's a painful blow, he knows that, but the fact Frank took a chance on her life, her safety by contacting her, is sending him over the edge. He knows how to get under Frank's skin, and he'll do it if he has to.

"You can drag me into your bullshit, but not her, you hear me? Not her Frank." But Billy needs to be on Frank's good side, he can't give him a reason to even look at him the wrong way. He needs to be careful, in order to keep every last of his secrets under wraps. Because he has innumerable of them.

"Don't act like you are a saint, brother. She's just as much in danger with you, you know that." Well shit he's right. Ish.

Billy's idea of a comeback is made out of various selected curse words that he needs to swallow quickly, before they roll out on his tongue. Damn it's hard, fucking hard when it's about her, her safety, mind body and soul, and his reputation and future is on the line. Frank is a threat he considered a buried skeleton, a ghost that lingered above his head while he tried to shut his tired eyes to rest.

"She's okay, Frank. She's safe, with me." He softens his voice, forcing the distracting details out of his brain. For now at least.

"I know." The admission is a slap on the face and a long desired validation. Coming from a man he looked up the most, and despised the most. Maybe this is how love works for Billy. Hate and love forging together until he cannot determine which is which.

Frank thinks he is doing a good job. He managed to keep you away from his work, from the deepest pits of military and government shit she only saw in movies. From Maria and the kids, having her back while she grieved, grieved the life's lost and grieved a best friend who wasn't the same man anymore. He made sure she was as far as she can be from Frank's mass killing spree, and the painful spotlight that came with it. The only thing he could never protect her from is himself. That's the fucking thing he just can't deal with. Can't accept it, but it surely would be easier. To just embrace it, and maybe that would lead him closer to her, let her love him like she wants to.

Frank said it. Loud and clear, and it made his heart break by the pride and pain he felt. Everything she needed protection from is caused and originated from him. Billy is the reason for most of it. His ego grew twice as much, but the hatred for himself swallowed like quicksand.

He takes a breath, not too loud for Frank to hear, he spells out a meeting spot for to meet, and ends the call. There is no need for doubt, Frank will be there. He needs to figure out how to make Frank disappear. For good this time.

He stands there for a long minute, calming his body, his nerves. His mind is telling him to flee, get it out of his system. The pent up anger and frustration he could never channel properly. That's why he chose this life, being a marine held him accountable, at least towards himself. The life taught him discipline he lacked, but it was only good for a while. When he was home, away from the killing and blood, and constant fight or flight mode, he lost the order, the routine that kept him in check.

You told him countless times when you first saw him in action, you saw a different person. You told him you could never thought he can have this type of regulation. That it was unlike him, and that would be true. His nature was wild and unhinged, no rules just his own when it came to living.

Surviving? That was a whole different level. He thrived because his brain clicked, shifted, his instinct kicking in like an ecstasy in his blood. It's way better than ecstasy.

It's cruising in his veins right now, standing in your living room, literally glowing from the adrenaline rush the brief exchange of words gave him with Castle. It's a weird but pleasant mixture how the high of danger, and the fear of what can happen is clashing together.

This feeling makes him want to go and have his way with Madani, because he knows she'll let him in, he knows they trick he can use on her. It's easy and taunting still, and he likes the edge. And he likes that it's nothing more. He could fuck this out of his mind.

He shakes his head in order to push out the idea. His hair falling around his face. He won't go to Madani.

He walks soundlessly to your door, letting the small light in with a bright straight line to your sleeping form. You are snoring softly, hair sticking to your forehead, sweating out all that extra alcohol your system can't swallow up.

The need of slipping out your flat is turning into a slipping into your bed need. Just curl up next to you, listening to the noises you make, the mumbles from your dreams, sheets twirling between your thighs as you straddle the cover he put on you. It's the perfect view, rare, unforgettable. He saw you in bikini, swimsuits even in your underwear, in more revealing clothes, sexier pieces, but the way your ass arched perfectly, your shirt rolled up enough to reveal the glowing skin on your back, little stretch marks covering your side as tiger stripes.

He steadies himself, shoulder leaning to the door frame as heat creeps up on his neck. Shit, this is getting ridiculous. He can have any woman, it's not arrogant to think, it's true. And he still blushes when it comes to you, when he had countless sex with gorgeous women, saw way more of a body, felt more than now. He just watching your bare legs hugging tightly onto the fabric, and he feels lost, out of breath. It's better if he stays, right? Making sure you are okay in the morning. Right?

But you only want it, because you have competition. The voice is so loud in the back of his head, he can't ignore it. He never had competition other than Frank, and he outed himself when he married Maria, and had his fairy-tale life with the big house and the perfect kids. Any other men was just a pathetic try, he usually wondered how could you not see the impotence in each of them. They were easy to get rid of. It took only a big wide toothy grin, a lazy hand around your shoulder, a snarky but honey coated comment, and they were out of the picture. Now that was in his nature. He was so good at intimidating with his charming acts that he never even needed to try, it just came as breath in the lungs. And the price was you. standing there lonely, not sure why no man can handle you. And he would be there to breath life into your smile, making it reach you eyes again. A win.

Shit.

He can't blindside the guilt, his own personal gain clothed in sheep skin. Because he likes the idea of winning you. Winning you from Frank Castle himself, dragging your attention from him, enveloping you in genuine but manipulated sweet words and praises. He likes it, he takes two at once. You, and his delicious victory.

A smile is spreading on his handsome features, watching you turn around with a huff, shielding your eyes still asleep, but aware of the bugging streak of light. His heart swells with care and love, and the guilt eating little chunks out of his soul.

He wants you, but he wants to win. That he cannot deny.

The bed is calling to him. Empty space made for him. Sheets and pillows untouched, smelling like your shampoo, the remains of your perfume and the unmistakable scent of your skin.

It would be wrong on so many levels to just slide under the sheets, and meet you halfway on the mattress, pulling you in his arms, pressing a soft peck of kiss on the crown of your head.

He always craved domesticity when he was with you. The simple things felt magical. Pushing the cart lazily in a heavily air conditioned grocery shop, having your arm brush against his in need of heat, while it's flaming hot outside. Stopping at the coffee shop near your apartment building, getting a chocolate bar you said you wouldn't get, ordering him to stop you if you take a sharp turn to the sweets isle. Pulling you towards the inside of the sidewalk, cars rushing past you with high speed making him nervous, talking about his work casually, you eyes curious, drinking every word, and remembering what he have told you days later.

In these moments he felt lovesick. Forgetting his ways, the all time bachelor. But the nights came crushing down on him as he stepped into the empty rooms of his apartment, cold and lifeless. Too much space left to fill in, space he's not enough to cover. And he wanders if it's possible, to have you in the kitchen when he gets home, a glass of wine dancing in your hands as you stir whatever you are making on the stove. To have you ask about his day while he untangles himself from the works clothes, snaking his arms around your torso, planting a kiss on your temple, inhaling the aromas of the food you are contracted on. You would giggle, saying his beard is tickling your neck, so he would do it again just to hear that sweet laugh.

Fuck, he's spiraling.

He goes around checking the door and windows, glancing at your phone in your purse, just a peace of mind that it's right where you left it, the last call deleted from existence. He turns off the lights, getting rid of his boots, sliding his t-shirt over his head, fidgeting with his belt that hold the dark jeans on his hips.

The cold sheets are a welcomed sensation against his flushed skin, the smell hitting his nose, just like he imagined. He carefully gets comfortable, fairly close to you, but not touching your resting body. He wants to, hell, he wants nothing more than scoop you up, caging you in the prison of his arms.

He sighs, letting his body ease into the bed, heaviness scratching his mind, sleep tugging his limbs. He would stare at the ceiling at home, alone. He would do that at least for 1-2 hours before his brain would stop working overtime.

He's satisfied. This is enough. For now.

He's just stopped moving, taking the position best for a good night sleep, but you stir as soon as he's settled. His eyes dart over you, you turn around, facing him, your hand colliding with his chest, you hum in response. He can't really see your face, but he can see your hand grabbing his abdomen, fingers digging into his skin to support your turn, pulling your body closer to his, nuzzling yourself closer.

He gently pulls you to his chest, knowing very well his arm will go numb in then minutes, but he has no care in this word. You settle almost on him, leg swung over his hips, legs tangled together, hot skin burning on hot skin.

He will win. He will have you, and he will win.

[ideahat-universe]

This is an amusing follow up to several different posts I've made in the past. First is ValiDate. I thought ValiDate was going to be the next YiiK. Turns out that was Goodbye Volcano High. I mean part of the failure and success of Goodbye Volcano High was that it was furry related. ValiDate really should have had furries in it.

Speaking of which, Snootgame's sequel I Wani Hug That Gator has come out and people like it. Also, it has a mod in Pizza Tower.

So if you're keeping score. The creator of Goodbye Volcano High had funding from the Canadian government (and I guess Sweet Baby helped with the writing?) and they had a featured slot in a Sony game reveal trailer, and the end result was the game crashing and burning and then someone from 4chan creates a fanfix that was popular enough to warrant a sequel that at the time of writing this, has a 99% positive rating on Steam and is 15.00 USD.

So someone turned a very unsuccessful DEI project into a highly successful game that had basically no backing.

What do you say about that? That's so humiliating.

But it could be worse. You could be the creator of ValiDate who only got made fun of on Kiwifarms and that was it.

And apparently this was developed by an Ex Sweet Baby dev who went on record saying she wanted to create a safe space for people who weren't white. She's not saying that she hates white people. She's saying she's afraid of them. Maybe.

I guess we can talk about this. Me and her are of the same race and I can't imagine she consumed different media than I did.

I'm presuming but I can't imagine with her world view that she didn't watch stuff like the Proud Family, Smart Guy, The Parkers, the PJs, the Bernie Mac show, The Boondocks, and even really ancient black focused entertainment like The Cosby Show or Diff'rent Strokes.

Don't forget the movies. Who can forget The Color Purple? I'd know I'd like to.

One of my most formative memories was reading a book about slavery and how bad white people were treating slaves and I thought to myself. "This stuff wants me to hate white people, but I have white friends. They all treat me very well. What's in this book isn't relevant to me." and I didn't know it. But the incorporeal Game Master that runs all our lives checked my alignment and read it as "Neutral Good" so I could not be swayed to hate an entire race of people for emotional or seemingly logical reasons.

That made history class worse because every slavery related story or film we'd watch or read just felt like brainwashing attempts I would think "no, I don't have any interest in hating white people, please stop."

What I think happened to the lady that made ValiDate, and honestly millions of black people in the country is that they fail their Wisdom rolls and go with "White people are all evil in these stories, and these stories are based on real life. Therefore. Real white people are evil."

I don't think it's a strength to actively carry generations of racial trauma wherever you go and pour it into a project to such a systematic degree that you employ racial discrimination in the hiring process.

I think it's a weakness. It's a weakness that made your game bad. It's a perspective of reality that is harmful for your mental health.

Seek enlightenment. Become a furry and completely detach yourself from the race conversation.

Please. I need someone to play Armello with.

[owlbloop]

For the love of everything,

I have a bucket of disabilities, both physical and non physical.

And let me just say, with a hearty pinch of salt, being disabled does not exclude you from ableism. And this includes being physically disabled.

Yes abled bodied ND people shouldn't be authorities or main voices on physically disabled issues. Yes abled bodied ND people can very much be ableist and exclusionary. The same applies in reverse.

Nd people and neurological disabilities belong in discussions about inclusion and ableism and accomodation. And those disabilities/needs are just as valid and important as every other disability.

Sensory issues are a spectrum, they aren't just getting a little distracted. My auditory sensory issues can be more excruciating than second degree burns or dislocated bones. And that applies for all sorts of non physical needs. I prioritize my hearing needs over that of a hard of hearing friend, because one is painful/incapacitating/and highly elevates risk of injury. That doesn't make me a bad person or ableist, that makes me a person who when push comes to shove isn't going to torture myself so another person can be ideally included.

If you think the world is accommodating to or that ND and neurologically disabled people don't experience real ableism, then I don't know what to say besides that's wrong. Discrimination, violence, assault, harrassment, abuse, neglect, exclusion, hate, isolation, systematic barriers, a lot of us are very familiar with it. And even places that claim to be "accommodating of sensory needs" rarely actually are. They're too little to be effective, blocked off from use, only available an hour or two a day every week to month, they're isolated rooms you can stay in while everyone else in your group does stuff, that's not actual accessibility, and even that is extremely rare.

And just because a place will accommodate syringes or wheelchairs doesn't mean it will accommodate me, it means it's more likely to accommodate me but it's beyond less than a guarantee.

The argument people can't enter buildings? I can't always either. I can't always go to public or government spaces even(which I'm aware doesn't just apply to ND issues.)

I try constantly to be a better ally to all types of disability, though I make no claims to be perfect. I am not trying to hurt or dismiss people. I am constantly trying to learn and I want to. I am personally dedicated to making the world better in whatever ways I can for physically disabled and ND/neurologically disabled people.

I'm not saying that as some kind of medal or asking for you to respect me for that. I'm saying this to try to say that I do care, that I do want to learn and improve myself. And so do many others.

I am just so tired of feeling like neither community wants me, and facing constant dismal from both sides of the disability community. Particularly during our pride month.

The world isn't accessible or kind to physical or non physical disabilities, so we need to try our best to uplift and help out each other.

[will80sbyers]

Tbh I think Karen and Ted are not bad parents as people make them out to be. People can headcanon them as abusive/neglectful but I just do not think they are? The thing with them is that they are ignorant of what the hell is going on in the town, lol. I think they'd be pretty much supportive and helpful when they finally learn what is going on about the supernatural mess. Esp it is strange when people try to make Karen some sort of an abusive or malicious mother or try to make Ted a Lonnie.02 or Neil.02.

I don't think they are perfect parents at all and I think them not knowing what's happening to their children is a big problem because they can't help even if they wanted to, they don't know what happened to Mike and Nancy except that Nancy lost her best friend and Mike lived that trauma of thinking he did too but then he came back and also had a few traumas like at the school in s1 even if Idk what the government told them to explain about what happened there, + the mall fire... but at the same time like, it's the 80s and most people don't even know how things like that impact your mental health, they would think Mike is doing more or less fine for the time period 😬

I also don't think Mike is telling them about the bullying at school because he thought it was something he shouldn't talk about to Eleven to not look "not cool" when he was little and I think he just kind of got used to it in the years and kept it as something he manages alone or with help from his friends

so they are definitely not paying attention to Mike as they should for his emotional needs in my opinion but they are not really what I would define as outright abusive

I do think that Ted in particular is neglectful and emotionally absent and dismissive of Mike especially for what they have shown at least, but I don't think he does it with malicious intent or because he doesn't care about him, it's the way he thinks he should parent his child because of lack of education and because he's probably traumatized himself from his own childhood

now, this is personal but I feel like I relate a lot to Mike because my parents are kind of similar to his, they are not great tbh but they are not abusive in the general sense of the way and gave me every material thing I needed and tried their best to support me in their own way... maybe they are a bit emotionally abusive (?) but without meaning to... I think they are doing their best even if it's not always enough to raise children and if I want to be harsh I would say they shouldn't have had children in the first place, but now we're here and so we go on lmao

Mike's parents definitely did some things that are not okay at all so I think the criticism on them is valid sometimes, like Karen spying on Mike and Nancy or Ted constantly lowkey talking shit about the things his son loves like d&d, that's not ok... but at the end of the day Mike and Nancy and Holly are taken care of in general and they feel that their mother certainly loves them and cares for them in every way she can...

Mike and Nancy rely a lot on their external relationships outside of the family for emotional support but they know they can also talk to their mom if they really need to... it's just, emotional vulnerability is really hard for them, and I think this is Ted's fault mainly, he does love his children but he can't communicate that with emotion for some reason, in his mind he cares for them with providing a home and material stuff and discipline... he thinks that's what a father should do to show love to their children because he was raised that way

and it's not good for the kids but like, it's not the same as what Will lived, I don't think Lonnie ever loved any of his children and when you feel that from your parent it fucks you up a lot because you internalize that deep down as you not being lovable and then react in different ways... Jonathan embraced being different and the weirdo and made taking care of Will his purpose... Will tried to make himself small and invisible and avoid bothering the people around him as much as he could...

the only reason why Will and Jonathan are not on really super screwed up after all they lived is because they have each other's support and also a great mom and Will has good friends... a good support system is around him luckily!!!

so yeah, I think Karen and Ted love their children and they are not evil but they are not great parents and could have done a lot better to make their kids feel more emotionally secure

these two chaotic babies deserved even more love!

[asafeplaceforus112]

Invincible season 2 special episode: Best girl Eve edition

I'm so excited! I love Eve she brings joy! Plus got spoiled on some stuff because of youtube shorts! So excited to watch this!

The fear I felt when I saw him look at the scapel

Oh my god, how they switched it? omg thats so sad and they were so happy and I just T-T

As a tism kid, damn I feel her

poor sam

"she's not gifted, she's just weird" Someone fucking kill me, I feel seen

oh jesus that skin effect is so UGGGGGHHHHHH ooooohhh maaaaaannnn

I know where this is going because of youtube shorts

and jesus

Awwwweee noooo I'm going to be sad when she starts not liking her

"Everything else is lame and boring" I vibe with that

Oh fuck me this man "You belong there because you're a freak"

I'm glad the mum is calling him an asshole

I love that Eve is just having the normal super hero happy fun experience

"Cream cheese and olive sandwhich" I what???? what child likes that by the way??? Is that a thing? Is that like an american thing???

Oh no I'm gonna cry when her friend stops being friends with her

I remember seeing this scene on youtube shorts, and I sitting there like "oh fuck she's going to turn her friend into a burger" I was expecting the fucky wuckyest of shit

As a person thats getting over a "Friendship break up" I get it, it hurts

She finally got to go to the public school, and she's not friends with her friend anymore ))):"

Be nice eve, its really cute eve!!!!! eeevveee!!!! I fear and valid and all that stuff but still it was really cute!

oh no don't try to change the squirral thats gonna fuck you up for life

the puppy thing is so like teenager thing

also I love that I also was like "wirdo staring at me?? I'm going home now"

eve is such a dork and I love that for her

Eve is going to eat shit and I'll be sad for her

oh no girl just left a bunch of constructs around didn't she?

"This is fucked up why are we stealing dogs" awe poor sidekick

the metal head thing is fucked up

oh shit dude smart af

oh fuck me I'll cry too

Oh she smart, looking for homeless shelter places, but also not smart, because he's going off the grid, so where people wouldn't be expected

"Jerk"

awwweee he thinks its cute that she called herself that, and I do agree, I love the 10 year old energy

The fact that he lied is real sweet, coz yeah, you don't tell the 10 year old her mum was struggling on the streets

girl truly doesn't understand the idea of government surveyed state

oh no, these poor kids

he just couldn't keep it together

GIRL CHOSE VIOLENCE WHAT THE FUCK

She just killed her siblings jessus no she didn't

oh she did

awweee noooo

fuck thats sad

Oh she just murdered murdered that kid

"it'll be worth it see the light drain from your perfect eyes"

OH SHIT THEY HADN'T DIED

Girl really needed to just be like " hey lets go get burgers"

oh no he's going to get smooshed

oh no he's slowly dissolving

fuck me

oh no oh no oh no

OH NO THEY KEPT THE MOTHER ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK

OH FUCK THAT

EVE HAVE THE GUN STOP BEING A GUN

OH NO

"you murdered my whole family"

OH NO

"I defy you to even remember who I am"

giiirlll you can mix up bodies now

"Did you eat my cake"

FUCKERS

oh god she needs therapy

OH FUCK OFF THATS SO SAD THE WAY SHE MADE A FAMILY VERSION OF THE ONE SHE COULD HAVE HAD THOSE POOR KIDS

"Where was grayson during this?" ID ONT GIVE A FUCK

SORRY WHAT??? EVEN??? EVEN IN EVE'S OWN SPECIAL EPISODE WE HAVE TO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT INVINCIBEL???? THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK )):<<<<

I FUCKING THAT UPSET ME IDKY I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ):< - bossy

Different note whilst typing the tags, I realised that the episode being a "special" mirrors how Eve was treated in the "oh they're x they're just special" energy and thats like fun little momment not sure on purpose but the coincidence brings contemplation!!!!

[stvharrngton]

Can I ask a genuine question?

I have shared stuff on here, but my friend hasn't because she uses this as an escape from the real world. She has shared on her other social media. Isnt that ok?

I keep seeing this issue pop up in the Fandom. Maybe i have a different way of looking at it, but if you have for example a sideblog where you only reblog fanfiction or one solely for nsfw things, it would feel weird and almost disenguineois to share something once. Like you're scrolling through smut and then there is just a random post? It feels almost like you are just sharing it to say you did, at least in my mind?

And now people are being attacked for supposedly not saying anything. I got a nasty message from an anonymous and I HAVE shared things before (I also only have like 15 followers so it probably wouldn't be hard to figure out who did it).

I understand the creators of the show are shitty people, and people can call that out and should, but are we also not allowed to live in a Fandom space? I know that is very privileged of me to say, but can we stop sending hate and bashing those who may or may not have shared about what is going on because I fear it's going to have the opposite effect.

Like for me getting that bad message...I ignored it but it also made me disgruntled. Like, im still going to share stuff and be vocal cause my blog has been for other things in the past and this is more important. But if it annoyed me and made me want to not say anything out of spite, how many others who run solely Fandom blogs? If that makes sense?

it does make sense what you’re saying and i do understand your point.

for me, and this is my personal opinion, it doesn’t really matter whether you are solely a fandom blog or not? this is a side blog for me to post my fanfiction and reblog any steve/stranger things related content and yet i will still post things relating to palestine and those within the show who are zionists because i believe it is an extremely important belief to express and whether you like it or not, it relates to stranger things and the fandom itself, in my view, and by not saying anything or believing you shouldn’t have to say anything is condoning their behaviour. its genocide at the end of the day and when it comes to an issue of human rights i don’t believe it should matter whether it fits in with your blog or not, or whether it would be perceived as weird to be scrolling through fanfiction and to then see a random post about something else i truly don’t think it should matter? i know i wouldn’t find it weird or disingenuous. but then again i am just one person and like i said thats just my opinion really

i totally understand the want to escape from the real world and why people may use their blogs and fanfiction to do this and this is a valid response as we all have lives beyond on our blogs and stuff going on personally but like you said it is privileged and i do believe we should all acknowledge that. the images are graphic and what is happening is extremely upsetting but in my opinion that is no reason to simply ignore what is happening. i don’t have an issue with people necessarily being silent (i don’t really have the time to trawl through people’s blogs to check if they have posted or not!) although i don’t agree with it, i would never try to police how people use their blogs or try and police their activism but my issue is specifically with people who are asking the question as to why they should bother saying anything if that makes sense? because for me it comes off extremely shitty and privileged that people seem to not be bothered about what’s happening because it’s not happening to them. i do believe everyone has a responsibility to condone a genocide that many of our governments (my own included) are funding and supporting

whether people want to believe it or not some people in the fandom do have a certain amount of influence due to their large following and i’m not saying it’s their duty to speak up on every single issue but i do believe it should be acknowledged but personally for me it doesn’t matter how many followers i have on either blog if it’s important i’m going to post about it and it’s a shame that others don’t share that view. i don’t know if it’s because im extremely political and have no issue articulating or expressing my beliefs? but i know others are not the same as me.

i don’t condone anyone getting hate asks, having been on receiving end of those, it isn’t nice. no one should be on the end of those no matter what the subject is. i don’t think it has any place in fandom at all and it’s such a shame that it seems to be so rife in the stranger things fandom. but i do believe in debate and a civilised discussion of politics and world issues in fandom spaces ESPECIALLY when it is directly linked to certain members of the cast and the show

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

To the editor,

What are your thoughts on the financial & legal aspects of the Templar Treasure? I was going over the epilogue scene and noticed that it's stated that Ben was offered (paraphrased) '10% of the treasure but turned it down because it was too much'. I asked a friend of mine who is an actuary and she suggested that they probably made money by auctioning the treasure off to museums, plus book deals and other publicity.

I could envision something like: once the treasure is validated & the cavern is assessed to make sure it won't collapse, would Ben hire some company to oversee the preservation/excavation/distribution of the treasure? Is there a Gates Family LLC out there that we don't see in the movie? Obviously Ben and Abigail would be down there elbow deep in artifacts and Riley would be starting to write his book, but who would be doing all of the enormously complicated administrative stuff? Who has control of the treasure to the point where they are able to offer '10% as a finder's fee'?

As always, love your work!!

Finders Keepers? The Legalities of Treasure Hunting.

@arsenicalbronze

Thank you so much for another fantastic question! I really appreciate your engagement! This one was fascinating to dig into.

Now, I am not a lawyer, and I don’t even play one on TV.

I do, however, possess a copy of Property Law for Dummies, because I had similar questions regarding the legalities at play in an as-yet-unfinished original treasure hunt story I was working on a few years ago.

Then, like now, I skipped directly to Chapter 13: Acquiring Rights by Finding and Possessing Personal Property.

Let’s see if we can dig through and discover some answers to your question.

First of all, sunken ships and buried treasures are governed by significantly different laws, strange as that may sound.

Sea-based Treasure

Sunken ships are governed by law of salvage rather than law of finders.

According to this law of salvage “whoever intentionally takes possession of property that is lost or in peril at sea, such as a sunken ship, is entitled to an equitable award from a court, while the owner of the property remains the owner.” (p222)

The court considers factors like:

value of the property salvaged

investment and difficulty in salvaging

to determine how much to award the salvor (person who salvages it).

The text goes on to say that in these kinds of cases the court may “award finders a portion of the property’s value as compensation.”

So that seems to square with what the movie says about Ben getting awarded a personage of the treasure’s estimated value.

Except this is not accurate because the treasure is not salvage.

Let’s move on to land-based treasures.

Land-based Treasure

In most cases, the landowner of the land a thing of value is found on has the superior claim over it. The possessor who found the objects (legally known as ‘chattel’) has a claim to them over everyone except the landowner.

That would mean that the treasure was property of Trinity Church (who, btw is one of the largest landowners in New York City?? As of 2019 the church had over $6 billion in assets?)

But fear not!

There is an exception to this claim of ownership in the case of what is legally known as ‘treasure trove.’

Treasure Trove

Property Law for Dummies defines treasure trove as “money or treasure, such as gold and silver, that the true owner concealed for safekeeping so long ago that the true owner is unlikely to return for it.” (p228)

So, intentionally buried valuables go from “mislaid” property—left with the intention of being reclaimed—to “treasure trove” with a long enough passage of time.

'Enough passage of time' is at least long enough that the true owner is likely dead. Evidence used in courts to declare something treasure trove include:

Dates found on old coins or paper money

The age of the place where its concealed

The condition of the place where it’s concealed

The Templar Treasure certainly meets these criteria.

Both the Declaration of Independence and the Charlotte provide concrete dates for the last possible human interaction with the treasure or clues.

The age of the Trinity Church crypt—specifically the burial date of Parkington Lane—provides an age to the passageway.

The treasure room itself would certainly show evidence of damage if someone had tried to break in without the meerschaum pipe to unlock the door. Without it, any treasure seekers would have needed to blast or break open the wall.

So an excellent case can be made that the Templar Treasure is treasure trove. I mean, if it isn't, what the hell is?

This is excellent news for Ben because “the finder of treasure trove owns it against the landowner and everyone else except the true owner.” (p229) And, by definition, the true owner of treasure trove is long-dead.

But! There are a few caveats. It’s law. Of course there are caveats.

The true owners’ descendants still have a right to claim the property. The farther into antiquity the hiding took place, the less likely this will happen, but it is still possible that some other family descended from the treasure-hiders has some other old piece of paper/object that proves they have some claim to the treasure.

2. Some states have started rejecting the treasure trove doctrine in recent decades, seeking to discourage trespassing on others’ property. Ben can breath easy though, because New York is one of the states that recognized treasure trove law.

However,

3. The landowner can still prevail against the finder if the finder’s claim is unfair or wrongful. Such circumstances may include:

The more extensively the finder trespassed, the more likely the landowner will prevail against the finder.

If the finder is employed by the landowner, the landowner will almost surely win.

If the finder was permitted to enter for a limited purpose and went beyond this scope, the landowner is likely to win.

If the real property (that is land, vs personal property, which is stuff) is private rather than open to the public, the landowner is more likely to win.

The last three examples don’t seem like they’d hold up. Ben wasn’t employed by or affiliated with Trinity Church, he wasn’t given limited permission to excavate that he went beyond, and Trinity Church is open to the public daily.

However, he did do a wee bit of trespassing.

Trespassing

Popping over to pages 52-53, let’s learn about trespassing!

A trespass is “an intentional, wrongful entry onto another person’s land without the owner’s permission and without a legal privilege to do so.”

Interestingly enough, one of said legal privileges you can have to enter property even without the owner’s permission is “out of necessity, to prevent serious harm to person or property.”

So the fact that Team Treasure was held at gunpoint by Ian’s team—who was already shown to be destructive to historic spaces and items on multiple occasions—may actually benefit them if they were taken to court by Trinity Church!

My Ruling

It seems—according to my skimming ten pages of a this book—that Ben actually does own the treasure outright.

Which surprises me! Based on the same dialogue you cite...

RILEY Ten per cent, Ben. They offered you ten per cent and you turned it down.

BEN Riley, we've been over this. It was too much. I couldn't accept it.

...I had always assumed possession of the treasure turned over to someone else and Ben was awarded a sum based on a percentage of its total estimated value.

Based on this reading and your friend’s suggestions, it seems more likely that they auctioned off or otherwise earned money from the treasure up to 1% of its value, and then possibly donated the rest and/or set up some kind of Templar Treasure Foundation dedicated to preserving and distributing the treasure.

(Not sure what the tax situation on such a find is, but donating to museums is great way not to be taxed on art/historic valuables, right? Only Riley seems to be having trouble with the IRS.)

Further Involvement

As for Ben and Abigail being “elbow deep in artifacts,” the total absence of followup on the treasure remains one of the most baffling choices made for Book of Secrets, at least in my opinion.

Sorting through the treasure—cataloging, distributing, preserving, restoring, and studying the tens of thousands of objects in the cavern—is way more than a two-year projects. It’s lifetimes of work. And yet it seems that by the time BoS roles around Ben and Abigail have no involvement with the treasure whatsoever.

That, I think, is also what lead me to assume something more like salvage rules applied—that once Ben found it he was compensated, but he did not own or have any claim of involvement over the treasure, because he no longer seems to be engaged with it at all when we see him next.

Conclusion

Would this hold up in court? Who knows!

But I feel pretty confident that it would hold up in the court of screenplay logic.

And by that I mean, if you google, "does the finder of a treasure own it" while watching a movie, the first few results would say "Yeah" and you'd be like "neat" and go back to watching.

This was actually really fascinating!

I can't say that I'm likely to read more about property law (the remaining 20 chapters of this book will almost certainly go unread), but this poses all kinds of interesting implications for what happened to the treasure after they found it.

It looks like you have a plausible legal footing to configure any number of scenarios:

Rival claims! Sued by the church! Administrative nightmares! Museum auctions! Non-profits! The archeological event of the millennium!

Possibilities abound!

Which ones are y'all most interested in?

Thanks again so much for all of your questions! They always point me in such interesting directions and inspire me to uncover more. Feel free to send another any time!

[doberbutts]

Hey, so, I know you're quite the cook yourself and you also live in the states. I was curious if you've heard about this whole Pink Sauce situation? Some people describe it as TikTok "drama" and the only reason I've heard about it is because I got recommended a YouTube video about the situation. I purposefully put drama in quotes because this stuff seems genuinely hazardous and dangerous? Definitely wouldn't call it a petty Internet squabble, personally. I guess I just wanted to hear your thoughts on it, since you always provide very nuanced and thought-provoking answers in such cases. If you don't know about any of this, and would like to just stay out of it, you can ignore this ask.

I'm not on Tiktok so I have only seen a grand total of two (2) posts about it right here on this webbed site and I um.

I mean first of all I don't eat anything that I don't know the ingredients of because I have mega allergies and don't care to be surprised.

But also I think it's dangerous and foolish. Selling your secret recipe to your friends or at a bake sale is one thing. I personally don't buy- again, allergies- but I think that has far less risk overall. Selling food that you've reported the ingredients to a higher government liscencing such as the FDA? Sure, even if your recipe is secret there's at least someone making sure you're not putting rat poison into the food- again I'm not particularly willing to buy but whatever you do you.

Selling something that almost assuredly needs to be refrigerated due to lack of preservatives and being mega cagey about ingredients, all the while having no contact with the FDA to ensure your ingredients are safe and that your nutritional information is actually accurate? No no no bad stop.

And those who buy it anyway are risking their lives- no, literally, risking their lives because food poisoning can kill you and does kill people on a regular basis- for a viral trend, which I think is very foolish.

However I also believe it's a black woman who created the trend, and I am really loathe to shit on a black woman's accomplishments, and if she wants to do stuff like this I think it's valid, I just wish she had gone through the appropriate channels to protect both herself and others from being harmed by all this. Because the risk to me is just not worth it.

There was another black woman creator who went viral on TikTok for something similar, except this time it was a skincare routine and what eventually ended up happening was that numerous people were reporting chemical burns and serious reactions on their faces. This is bad, and it's why you have to be really careful before you market stuff like this and why we have these regulations in the first place. I also don't trust the government but I, in turn, think that an unregulated market inherently takes advantage of people and ultimately harms those who are the victims of hype.

And it sucks that these two instances are black women, cause I do support black business and I think these black women could have a great product, but they're going about it the wrong way and they're going to seriously hurt someone doing it this way.

[byleranalysis]

You’re confidence is way to high to the point you’re getting cocky and using you’re said starting stages of a film degree for validation . End of the day you don’t know what’s going to happen everything you say is all heresy hence the word theory unproven facts and just thoughts.

How am I getting cocky when you are the one who actively went into my asks just to call my words heresy + state that I make theories? Especially when all I am advocating for is that the writer's due a decent job at LGBTQ+ representation and have Will + Mike end up together/analyze what could happen in S5?

To your assumption that my only experience is my film studies:

1. I have worked as a PA on a multitude of music videos + a couple television sets + a few pilots that never made it to air.

2. I am halfway through film-school. Correct. However, I have worked a variance of roles in a multitude of grad student films + undergrad films. I have also been a distribution producer for a few which had massive film festival runs/got one of the shorts bought.

3. I currently work/volunteer as a Director of Photography for a woman's shelter. My work is mainly documentary which includes telling the stories of these women in order to promote the safety and need for continuous government support of these facilities.

So yeah, I go to film school but I also have insight into the behind-the-scenes of how some of this stuff works. My analyses are never 100% fact. That's completely true, but to say that they don't provide ANY insight into what the crew were aiming for or subtextually implying, is just plain wrong. Please do not only see your opinion as fact as well. Thoughts are different than first-hand experience. Especially when in my video analyses, I almost word-for-word reference source material and not my own thoughts. Yes, they are analyses/theories, but they are based on very real basic film techniques.

I am not looking at a shot and saying --nor believe --"the green light here references s1 when Mike looked to the side for approx. 3 seconds.".

I notice basic moves and provide a description onto why a director + DP might land on choosing such in order to tell their narrative: "the camera pushes in, a move that can imply internal conflict or internal emotions of our characters + increase tension, conflict, or place emphasis on a specific object" or "The camera is the closest it has been to Will. What he says is incredibly important. His facial reactions are highlighted".

If that's getting "cocky" then so be it. It's literally the most basic description of camera movement. Looking into such does provide some insight into why a specific camera movement was chosen. For instance, before the script for Mike and Will's Episode 4 talk came out, I did an analysis on it. The script backed up what I wrote almost beat for beat.

Note, in this shot, Mike says the line "Best friends" which is underlined. Underlining in a script is used to show place emphasis on said dialogue.

...

So again, this analysis was done previous to the script being released. I don't listen to the audio when I do my analyses so that words do not impact how I view or interpret the camera movement.

So, to say my theories on the camera movement is just thoughts that cannot be taken seriously or give insight is a bit off-putting. While I don't think what I do is fact, I don't think analyzing or interpreting the camera movement to gain insight into S5 is a stretch.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 10

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Part 10: Disaster Roulette: DEATH and Abigail Thorn

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

[SLIDE: Darkness, with the All Hail Gozer logo in the corner.]

A: What the fuck? Isn’t it my pick again? Are we back on the fucking Kursk? [starting to panic] Are we all out of picks? Is this an endless loop? Oh my God… I’m not running Unreal Engine anymore!

D: Hang on, hang on… Laptops open, everyone! Are we all here?

L: We’re here! But, uh…

R: We’re on a sofa.

A: The Kursk doesn’t have a fucking sofa!

[footsteps, rustling]

R: I found a lamp…

D: I’ve got a light switch over here…

[click]

L: It’s a house?

D [annoyed]: It’s a flat.

A: Sort of a nondescript twee little flat…

R: There’s a microwave, and some dishes…

L: Is that Thomas the Tank Engine over there?

A: Where the hell are we?

L: Gandalf, buddy, is this your place?!

D: What does a lamassu want with a sofa and a microwave?

L: Comfort and convenience, my friends. Comfort and convenience!

A: And Thomas the Tank Engine?

L: Maybe he likes trains, I dunno…

A: Do you smell something burning?

R: [sniffing] Smells like… Substandard aluminum composite rain screen cladding?

A: GET OUT RIGHT NOW! DO NOT SHELTER IN PLACE! GET OUT NOW!

[SLIDE: The Grenfell Tower Fire.]

[running, scuffing, door slam]

[coughing]

L: FUCK!

A: Oh, fuck, oh…

R: Stuff that throw rug under it!

D: Who picked this? We wouldn’t pick this! We’d never…

L: We’ve had four picks, right, guys? The Kursk, the Silver Bridge, the Atmospheric Railway and Frankford Junction…

D: So shouldn’t it loop back around to Alice?

A: I didn’t pick this.

L: I think… I think Gozer picked this.

A [resigned]: Yeah. I mean, xe seems very into fire. And strategically speaking…

D: Can you see out the window? Are we over the 11th floor?

A: It doesn’t matter, no one’s coming to rescue us. If it’s any consolation, the smoke will probably get us before… before anything more dramatic happens.

D: Don’t give up! Don’t lose hope! It’s still before dawn, we’ve got time — we’ve got hours! As long as we keep podcasting…

L: Dev…

A: Dev, we barely made it through this one in the first place…

D: But you did make it through! We can do this! We know we can do this! We… We have pitch black senses of humour and indomitable human spirits. There is nothing we can’t laugh at. How… How is this any worse than the existential trauma of hurtling through space on a lonely planet with full knowledge that you and everything you ever loved or cared about will inevitably die? Our situation is fundamentally pointless and absurd, and this is how humanity copes! Fuck Gozer! Somebody make a joke about how many Xboxes you could buy with the government’s totally inadequate restitution and let’s go!

[brief silence]

D: Come on! This isn’t worse than Aberfan! This isn’t worse than fucking Bhopal!

L: We didn’t have to sit in an apartment in Bhopal and stare at some probably-dead kid’s Thomas the Tank Engine.

D: Rocz! You spent over a minute cackling after you found out Ruth Bader Ginsberg just died! Surely you…?

R: While it is often said that comedy equals tragedy plus time, I believe it may be more accurate to express “time” as “distance.” Laughter, as we call it, is the sound of a shock-induced dislocation of the human soul. In a community, laughter is validating; it’s a sign we all understand something is very wrong here, but it’s far enough away not to be hurting us at the moment. With laughter, we affirm our collective purpose and strength. In the matter of Notorious RBG or climate change or the heat death of the universe, we have room to seek that community with each other before the consequences hit. But this… I’m sorry, Dev. This is just too close.

A: It is oddly peaceful, though. I mean, the inevitability.

R: Yeah.

D: This can’t be what kills us! This is only… This is only… the government-sanctioned murder of over seventy human beings in need of housing assistance, at least one of whom was a child who likes trains…

[brief silence, quiet sniffling]

L: It’s all right, Dev. You did your best. We went out swinging.

A: If it’s any consolation, Ishtar’s probably not going to let this stand.

R: Yeah. Just, not much she can do with a pocket dimension.

D: What do you want to do? We’ve probably got hours…

A: Well, I have a few emails I’d like to write.

L: Yeah… I mean, it’s your prerogative, but I’m not gonna tell anyone I’m trapped in a pocket dimension and they can’t help us. Just, ya know, gonna try and keep it positive.

A: Yeah…

[typing sounds]

D: I… [weak laugh] I suppose I’d better let Abi know we won’t be in to record next week…

A: Oh, that’s thoughtful of you, Dev. Thanks.

[typing sounds]

A: Does anyone want to listen to some Mountain Goats?

R: We don’t have the rights.

A: Yeah, [laugh] but, we’re probably not going to get a chance to post this, so…?

[muffled ringing]

A: What’s that?

L: It’s my pocket…

D: Your pocket’s not ringing, it’s the cursed phone!

[beep]

L: Uh, hello?

[muffled, irritated phone voice]

L: Uh, no, they’re right here, though… Dev? It’s for you.

D: Hello?

[unintelligible, but very annoyed, phone voice, which continues intermittently throughout]

D: [sigh] No. No, Abi. I’m sorry. I promise, I did not make you watch the entire Bourne Identity TV series for a prank. No. No, we do not have covid. Or Vigo. No, um, I do understand you can’t do a podcast with one person, but, er… To be perfectly honest, we’re both about to die in a pocket dimension and then Ishtar and Gozer are probably going to have it out, so… Er, Gozer the Gozerian? Um…? No, xe can’t come to the phone right now… Because xe has taken the form of the Grenfell Tower Fire and… Um, hang on…

[beep]

Abigail Thorn (ABI): I SAID PUT ME ON FUCKING SPEAKER! AM I ON SPEAKER?

D: Yes.

A: Hi, Abi!

ABI: [cheerfully] Hi! [back to being annoyed] GOZER, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?

G: UH, BATTLING THE GODS OF THIS WORLD FOR SUPREMACY? WHO IS THIS, PLEASE?

ABI: MY NAME IS ABIGAIL THORN, I AM THE AVATAR OF ISHTAR WHO IS TALKING NOW, MY PRONOUNS ARE SHE AND HER AND I AM FUCKING ANNOYED!

A: What?

G: Oh? Abi? Hi! [clearing throat] OBVIOUSLY I WAS NOT GOING TO DESTROY YOU OR ANY PART OF KILL JAMES BOND, HA-HA. BIG FAN OF YOUR SUFFERING! SO, UH, IS THERE SOME OTHER PROBLEM?

ABI: YOU’VE GOT TWO-THIRDS OF KJB TRAPPED IN SUBSTANDARD PUBLIC HOUSING AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO SET THEM ON FIRE — THERE’S YOUR PROBLEM, YOU DAFT FUCKING ENBY!

G: WHAT? [slightly lower voice] WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE, AGAIN?

A [automatically]: My name is Alice Caldwell-Kelly, I am the person who is talking now, and my pronouns are she and her.

D: I, er… I’m Dev. Devon.

L: I’m Liam Anderson…

G: SHUT UP. NOBODY CARES.

A [faintly]: Yay, Liam.

G [sheepish]: TERRIBLY SORRY, THEY DIDN’T DO THEIR INTROS.

R: Fuck.

G: BUT NO HARM DONE!

A: I am traumatised and covered in horse viscera.

D: I’m questioning the meaning of my existence. Also, Abi never told us she was an avatar of Ishtar and… I think I’m a bit hurt by that?

A: Yeah. I mean, I assumed she was an avatar of something, but she might’ve specified…

G: ALL RIGHT, A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF HARM DONE, BUT NOTHING IRREPARABLE! DO I, ER, HAVE THE “ALL CLEAR” TO KILL THE OTHER TWO?

A & D: NO!

ABI: STOP TRYING TO END THE WORLD, YOU CUNT! I TOLD YOU, I AM STILL USING IT!

G: [sigh] HANG ON.

Part 11