#it’s THAT kind of executive dysfunction yknow?

[hamable]

“Don’t trust anything you think about your life after 9pm” I chant almost religiously as I consider buying a desktop and learning how to do VFX in Unreal Engine bc I’m spiraling about my current college/career prospects

[iidolomantis]

i’ve been trying this new strategy to get around my executive dysfunction by utilizing my anxiety. whenever i have a thought like ‘oh, i should go for a mental health walk today’ i replace it with ‘OH GOD OH FUCK I HAVE TO GO FOR A WALK RIGHT THE FUCK NOW’. faux panic. simulated urgency. i’m so good at being afraid of things that this leads to me instantly jumping up in a panic and taking the first few steps, which is generally the hardest part for me. once i’m started, it’s fine, i can do the rest of it as normal. if i find myself lagging, i just do it again. ‘FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS HOLY SHIT RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW HURRY.’ y’know? time will tell if this is effective in the long run. it’s certainly getting my heart rate up, but more importantly, i am Getting Things Done.

[bluesidedown]

😞

[bumpscosity]

Still fucks me up that my doc said I need to cut back on saturated fat like what is left after this? dirt?

[transmutationisms]

i have been very curious lately regarding your potential thoughts on the term 'executive dysfunction' - more saliently, is it helpful? i have a feeling you may fall more on the critical side, but i'm still eager to hear any insight you may have.

well yknow i would subject it to the same basic test as any other psy-scientific terminology, namely "is it useful?" with the corollaries "to whom?" and "for what?"

the set of cognitive processes referred to as 'executive functions' are fairly broadly defined as those that regulate other cognitive processes: the ability to self-direct, complete a task, regulate emotional state, &c. one might point out that, like the 'emotionally intelligent', the 'executive non-dysfunctional' is therefore not just someone who is not experiencing a specific kind of distress, but rather someone who is capable of being productive, socially adaptive, and cooperative in specific ways. indeed i would argue that 'executive dysfunction' is a good example of a label that can be and frequently is applied to people whose behaviours are causing them not intrinsic distress but impairment as a direct result of a social environment designed to be hostile to them. in that sense the term does a lot of work to hide the inaccessibility and lack of flexibility of our (capitalist) schools, workplaces, and so forth, and to instead package anyone who functions poorly within such constraints as individually pathological.

this is of course not to deny that some people struggle to complete processes of 'executive function' more than others do, or to deny that those currently identified as struggling with executive dysfunction could struggle in other social and political settings. (though of course, worth keeping in mind here that those identified as 'functional' in this regard are, like the 'dysfunctional', prone to excel at certain tasks and in certain conditions, and not others; one could imagine as a thought experiment a social environment designed to be more accessible to more people, but also one designed to produce more dysfunction in more people as demands on their bodies and minds become more rigid, hyperspecific, and so forth!)

[payasita]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that to get your ADHD meds (I can relate to some of it as a fellow ADHDer in Canada), but omg, your writing is so talented!

Your descriptions of how you went from one person to another and one medication to the next in the process are fucking hilarious! It gave me a lot of catharsis just reading your post because I was only diagnosed a few months ago as an adult, despite showing symptoms of ADHD for most of my life and getting mislabelled as “mentally disabled,” and I’ve felt a lot of that frustration

My psychologist even told me during my diagnosis appointment that I must have developed good strategies for managing my executive dysfunction during university or else I “wouldn’t have made it this far in life.” Sure, if you call chronic sleep deprivation to complete assignments at the last minute so I don’t fail even more classes a “good strategy” 🙃

Anyway, best of luck with the meds!

LMAO THANK YOU it was very cathartic to write ngl, that's prolly been building up for a good while now i think

i'm so sorry you went through that too. the fact is that people are really really adaptable when we have to be, but like, god, sometimes we just shouldnt HAVE to be, yknow?

fuck bad doctors, and hey while im at it: hey everyone, if struggling has become your baseline, that doesnt mean youre NOT struggling anymore. that kind of thinking is why it took me to my mid 20s to seek help at all! i didn't have to wait this long. but i didn't think it was that bad

it was! it could have been better! hopefully it will be now. i deserve that and so do the rest of us.

best of luck to you too, thanks for the kind words!!

[molsno]

me in therapy the other day: huh yknow now that I think about it my executive dysfunction induced depression is a lot easier to get through when I have a singular goal that I consistently work towards every day, like a project of some kind. maybe I'll set a goal for myself and make that my next project

me later that day: wow yknow what game I miss? the sims. now that it's free I should play it again (dedicates every waking moment of every day to making my sim lesbians have sex)

[summerlycoris]

I havent had a great day today. Gonna chuck it under a cut because its probably gonna be long and annoying.

So i volunteered to help set up and run my workplaces pride stall this year. Got excited to do it- even made some bracelets to put out on the table if they gave me permission.

But the hours were originally 9am setup. Luckily, i checked my work email on my phone the evening prior. Because theyd changed it to 8am.

I would normally work today, but arranged to take annual leave so i could do pride. And ultimately never ended up going because of a few things.

One being just. Executive dysfunction. Im always late for everything- even things i want to do. Especially when- and this might sound stupid- i hate that people expect things of me. Feels stifling. But i signed up for this? But i signed up for a 9am start not an 8am one. And this is my annual leave im using so i dont want to immediately jump out of bed and rush around like on a workday yknow? So even though i wanted to get going before 8am, it wasnt happening.

In the end, i get ready to go there for 9am because. I missed the time to get ready for 8am or even 830am so. On the bikeride over there i got so worked up thinking about how theyll be judging me- all these people who work in the office and i havent met before- they'll be thinking like 'oh summer. Didnt you get the email? This was supposed to start at /eight/. Well, we've already set up... we'll find something for you to do /i guess/.' And even if everyone acted nice to my face, they'd be thinking it and judging me. And i burst into tears halfway there and was just like. Even if i get there now, I'm gonna be crying all day so whats the point? People are just gonna look at me like im a weirdo. And theyd be right.

So i turned around and went home. Texted one of my coworkers that would be there that i wasnt having a good day and couldnt make it. So she'll be looking at me like im a weirdo at work tomorrow too! Cool! And maybe my boss will be judging me- like i went through all this effort to /not/ do something?

I just. Fuck. I dont know why i bother trying to do anything. I just disappoint myself and others.

I dont want other people tp have control over me. But not wanting that doesnt change the fact that they /do/ have control over me. Ive beholden to their expectations. And if i dont meet them ill be judged. Thats how the world works. That should motivate me to get out of bed right?

If anything, knowing that and repeated failures just ensures I keep failing. Keep failing to get anywhere on time- because its hard to fight against anxiety and bitterness, all in a combo one-two punch. Keep failing to /want/ to do things. Because i know ill fuck it up.

Am i making any sense?

Honestly i feel so shit. Might just ring in for work tomorrow too. Im so fucking tired.

And like. Im nearly 30. This kind of tug of war between success and failures been going on since i was a kid. I could actually see about getting diagnosed with adhd and see if /anything/ can help me but all the horror stories about getting diagnosed and what if im just. Wrong. What if its just me and nothing helps? Because i think its a mix of executive functioning issues, and bad mental tbh.

I dont know what to do at this point.

[nihiltism]

12 and 19!

12: how are you?

TIIIIIRED. tuesdays are my lab days where i get up at 7 and end up home at 6 and i feel like i have carried a thousand suns upon my back. so im kind of just curled up in my nest for the foreseeable future listening to the agonist until i pass out probably. yippie

19: most important thing in your life?

this is a really big question to ask somebody who's mainly getting through the weeks by spite, obligation and the promise of watching the next dungeon meshi episode with its friend every week. like i can say something sappy that Is probably true like nature or companionship or having little hobbies to show people but i dont. have enough time to appreciate them enough to be important. amidst College and the multiple hours each day i lose to executive dysfunction and how Tired i get from just being out in public every day yknow. so i guess the most important thing to me Right Now is still some transmutation of Companionship but more specifically people being patient with me and sticking around i guess. not even as high-commitment Being There For Me In My Hour Of Need as god knows im not good at reaching out anyway but just like. having people to talk at (in the direction of the void that is the internet). and hearing other people talk at me in that direction. and being seen by people and doing little waves at each other. maybe one of these days ill have enough time and deep friendships to value it deeper than that but i do still believe that little nods between people i know enough to consider friends makes It All easier

[oscalesoffeeling]

hi i know i just followed u recently but. i wanted to say i appreciate u & ur ships. as someone who is Also and Enjoyer of old/outdated/obscure media it is nice 2 see someone else who ships in those kinds of things yknow especially as another resident Hammer and its Actors™ enjoyer. usually i am very anxious to reach out but i was talking w rook last night and he said to send an ask anyways so. here i am.

basically! i think u are very cool and u should tell me more about your ships sometime bc i would love to learn more and i hope you have a good day. ok bye

hello! my inbox/messages are always open but sometimes i just take a while to get to stuff bc of my schedule and anxiety/executive dysfunction 😅

tbh it can be kinda isolating sometimes being a fan of older media bc it just isn't as popular online as a lot of newer stuff, and even when it is, it can be harder to find other hardcore fans/people who actually regularly post about that kinda stuff, which i do on my main a lot (@/therevengeoffrankenstein for those unawares ! 🥰)

petey cush is one of my biggest special interests so i'm very glad to meet others who share my passion for him. OLD MEN FOR THE WIN !

lately i've been even more anxious than i usually am ! so i def get it. i've been having pretty intense paranoia with interacting with people online so i actually really appreciate you talking to me and sharing your thoughts 👍

i am a writer and i have a lore page on my carrd full of self ship lore for a few of my ships, but you can always send asks/messages asking for elaboration, fun facts, extra lore, etc.

[sabertoothwalrus]

snap u have anon turned off? I guess we’re just doing this then DHSJSK ok based on ur art and interests and blog and stuff the vibes I get from u are like:

chill and cool but also somewhat intimidating lmao and u like it that way. “be my friend but also fear me just a little, that’s sexy”

likes things that could be considered “cringe” but gives zero Fs what people think about it and elevates said cringe to a respectable art form while not actually really shying away from the cringe? haha

“I said what I said, die mad about it” energy

really creative thinker (like not passively involved in your interests but actively coming up w new ideas, exploring new paths/AUs that intrigue you and putting energy into developing them)

pretty self-confident overall (good for u queen)

bursting with Ideas at all times. kind of annoyed that your hands cannot keep up with your brain

some brand of lgbtq but I’m not rly sure what lol

gets frustrated with sitting still/being stuck

high expectations for yourself, maybe sometimes a little too hard on yourself

very thoughtful and intentional and skilled creator who puts a lot of effort into learning and improving

zero patience for whiney or close-minded people and not afraid to call them out

not afraid of anything, possibly

doesn’t really like kids? maybe?

has a specific beverage that u drink 80 servings of a day….like coffee or chamomile tea or diet doctor pepper or one of those sparkly flavored water things

a nice, loud, warm belly laugh and a big smile that shows your gums

ok that was a lot more than I intended, sorry lol anyway what’s my grade

OK PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY TOLD ME IM INTIMIDATING IRL AND??? I’m just a silly little goofball that’s so baffling

Ok I DO have no fucks being cringe, but it is one thing when you’re showcasing work you’re proud of vs telling a coworker in the breakroom at work “yeah I watch miraculous ladybug” GDHFJGKG there’s a time and a place yknow

LITERALLY YEAH ACTUALLY

I’ve been really lucky that this has been true for me for awhile!! I have had years-long bouts of art block where I can’t seem to produce anything, but this past year I’ve had more ideas than I can keep up with!

I am all or nothing when it comes to confidence, or rather I’m CONFIDENT when I CAN’T do things. Fun fact tho is I’m not really afraid of public speaking 🤷

Usually I just say gay/lesbian. Gender is: I don’t have a problem being Girl but you and I both know it doesn’t mean anything lol

I do get frustrated being stuck!!! Aaaaaaaa executive dysfunction!!!!!

Next couple are pretty accurate

the one about kids is FALSE I ADOREEEE kids!!! I look more forward to being a parent than having a spouse

ehhh I don’t really have a drink like this?? I’m a big slut for Martinelli’s brand apple juice/cider though 👌

I legit scream laugh gdhfjfjf esp in voice calls oof you shoulda HEARD me when they announced the Mario movie cast

overall you did really well!!! Thank you for putting my brain under a microscope Mar!! :) 👍

[sporesgalaxy]

What do you think adhd looks like in the game? I still gotta play it so idk if its portrayed in game

nope it hasnt been portrayed explicitly in the games!

I've been in the process of coming up with some mental manifestations of symptoms for weeks now, but I'm still not anywhere NEAR done. I've kind of got some of the major symptoms sorted into categories though?

Ok first of all I'm just going to go ahead and coin a bullshit term Ive been using for myself: mental ecology. It's exactly what it sounds like-- the interactions and interdependancies between constructs of the mindscape, and between those constructs and the mindscape environment itself, and how those things change in reaction to each other.

ADHD is definitely one of those things that would be an irregularity of nearly the entire mental ecosystem rather than any single entity or population of entities acting out of line.

mental environmental changes: (a little too nebulous to credit one symptom for these but I hope it Makes Sense)

especially nonlinear/irregular/difficult to navigate layout of mental structures and locations

overabundance of Stray Thoughts*, with overactive connections

mental entity changes:

potential for much lower, or underactive, or highly irregularly distributed Censor population (poor impulse control/ self regulation)

potential for much higher or overactive Bad Idea, Enabler, and Personal Demon populations (poor impulse control & poor emotional regulation)

commonly much higher populations of Doubts, Regrets, Judges, and Parasitic Guilt (RSD/comorbid anxiety/depressive disorders)

all populations of mental entities populate the mind with extreme irregularity. In any given area, there will most likely be either an unmanageable hoarde of entities or none whatsoever. (emotional dysregulation)

other/needs more work:

Time Bubble mechanics would play an important role in the ADHD brain. potentially time just IS slower or faster in certain areas? And to navigate them you'd use time bubble to move at normal speed. (executive dysfunction/time blindness)

the manifestation of intense emotional lows from ADHD symptoms is covered by the pre-existing mental entities/mechanics, but intense emotional highs (i.e. hyperfixation) are not. I'm working on this, but it also seems likely to vary a lot from mind-to-mind. It is also probably related to harmful mental connections reinforcing risky behavior. Like what happened to Hollis, but, yknow, less.

*Stray Thoughts continued: today I was playing around with the idea of a Brain Storm where the mental landscape is consumed by exciting new mental connections. Definitely how it feels to lose focus on what's really happening and get lost in your thoughts lol...maybe this over-the-top version of mental connections would be an ADHD symptom

this has all just been what Ive thought of from memory during class, I havent actually crossed referenced w a full list of adhd symptoms yet, which I do wanna do at some point to make sur emy bases are all covered lol

[motherofqups]

I really feel like I have three almost separate relationships with the Arcana at this point:

The fandom: A mixed bag of very high highs and *very* low lows. I’ve met some wonderful people (some I readily call friends) and gotten avid support for my fanworks; I’ve also seen criticism and misunderstanding spiral into toxicity, alongside straight-up bullying and mob mentality, alongside a complete lack of gray and nuanced thinking. Some folks are hilarious and have me cry laughing at their HCs, their memes, and some discourse is so detailed and thought provoking that I’m amazed at how people just... *think* differently than me, know so much more than I do about certain topics and are willing to share with the world. And some of the diskhorse makes my eyes water with how insipid it feels, largely a flimsy mask for straight up character assassination and fandom tribalism.

The work (my work): Fuxj, dude, I love writing, and I loved - LOVED - writing the Oracle. I mean it when I say that the Oracle kept me alive the year I was writing it. But I wrote it largely in isolation from the fandom, only dropping in on AO3 to leave anon-likes on my favorite fics. I have written far less once engaging more with the fandom HERE because it feels, some days, absolutely exhausting to keep up with the constant drama. This is not to point a finger at the fandom for my own executive dysfunction - it’s more to highlight how distracting it can be from, yknow, the actual art that people are making and producing and consuming, and not actually creating an environment that encourages and nourishes that creation. When I’m in my zone, just writing and dreaming and problem solving and editing, it all melts away. When I’m responding to the largely positive comments on AO3, I’m light and sweet and full of gratitude. But when I open tumblr to do the same, to market the work and support my fellow creators, I’m bombarded with negative energy. It’s barely worth the squeeze. Discord is the same: I left one because I felt so unwelcome and my opinions and perspectives unwanted; another was straight up Yeeted into the ether because of drama. (I’m in yet another that is absolutely lovely and supportive and full of fine folks, if much, much smaller and quieter.)

The canon: I can’t open the app without getting frustrated, without feeling a deep sense of disappointment. These last three routes have been an absolute train wreck of bad writing, pandering, and - to me - a lack of any kind of romantic spark. (Except for Portia’s - she has some REALLY GOOD moments interspersed with some extremely meh chapters and interactions.) The beauty of the first three was the mystery and the worldbuilding, however flawed - and the characters are so rich and delicately intertwined. The last three have felt like utter hack jobs in comparison - and those characters, certainly, deserved the expert craftsmanship the others received, because they were BUILT UP so much in the first three routes. All the spark that attracted me to the narrative at first is just - gone.

All of this is to say - I don’t know where to go from here. I want to write W&M, but every day the fandom seems to degrade more and more, and there seems to be less and less interest in alternate routes, esp routes that don’t follow the ‘canon’ to the letter. (I use canon loosely here - I don’t take any Dev Ex Machina or Word of Dev as canon, which I know is not the sentiment of the rest of the fandom.) I am also very, very much grieving the loss of someone who was essentially a parent, and all of THIS *gestures at everything* is colored by THAT.

Idk man, maybe what I need is a real tumblr hiatus too and just write in relative fandom isolation again. But I’m getting too old for this shit. How do y’all do this and keep going

[unproduciblesmackdown]

prompt catchup

April 20th: What are some things that allistic people do that you find confusing? yeah again it's like because allistic people can move through their Social Worlds with no awareness of ways they can mess up interactions b/c from their perspective this isn't any obstacle to them so it must be a non factor they're just objectively Socially Competent yet yknow can be acting like a jerk to people left and right and being inconsiderate and never trying to connect with other people on their terms but yknow it's nd people who are Socially Inept(tm) lmao like. well let's say this Confuses me. simply operate on the presumption you can and do misunderstand ppl w/o realizing

April 21st: Do you stim? If so, what are your favourite ways of stimming? What does stimming feel like for you? yeah it can be like, grounding, more comfortable, a way to burn off some sort of [intensity], and/or to be conducive to it, and like just enjoyable in a Vibing kind of way, like yknow, allistic people knowing what stimming is in a way like that rocking chairs are fun and pleasant in a way that nobody has to try to describe, or how they can sort of pick up on things like a fidget cube or weighted blanket as nice and/or helpful, even if most people are just kinda regarding these select stim Accessories as yknow sorta a casual novelty / superfluous indulgence.......always was big on spinning as a kid lol, enjoyed that via dance as well, there's some sort of In Between stuff i'll do like oh i'm around other people and i've simply been Moved To Energetically Stroll To Nowhere, or woops i was thinking hard about something and got excited and simply said some probably unrelated word as the hypothetical Start Of Something Someone Might Say to nobody lol, i have nervous(tm) fidgets and like, fidgeting with Objects, playing with whatever or messing w/stuff with notches or dials or just generally like, that small amount of resistance, if i'm Enthused about something it's like. i gotta get up and pace or flop over or shake out my hands....out here listening to a song for hours on end if i feel like it, enjoying Hot Drinks whether or not the heat has the practical purpose of warming me up, i will, put the end of a paper towel between my upper lip & teeth or roll/twist paper, shoutout to its versatility. might make funky noises to express or announce myself lol. plenty of stuff i'm sure i do including like total classic "oh yeah i love to do that" which i'm completely forgetting because it's just sort of hard to notice this stuff lmao. Vibing

April 22nd: What are some things allistic people can do to better support/accommodate autistic people? could be an essay which i'm sure there's like preexisting such essays / articles / etc that are gonna do it way better but just like a couple things you could do is. social model not pathological model and. listen to autistic people instead of other allistic people say about autistic people

April 23rd: How specific is your routine? Does it vary slightly from day to day? Do things have to be at the exact same time, or does just the order matter? How important is having a routine to you? it varies, there's some sorta usual stuff that it feels like A Whole Thing to maybe move around or omit, and i guess just generally it's like, if i'm doing something, i have to have kind of created through that plan in my head beforehand of Here's What's Gonna Happen, that expectation can kinda play into the motivation of even doing it in the first place, and i might have those ideas kinda hours in advance like "here's what i'll do at some point later" or like, having an idea of what i'm gonna do in a particular day, and/or what i'm going to do Next......then if things get thrown off, whether b/c something gets in the way or it's disrupted or something else ends up being done, it can just kind of be like, well yeah now i'm thrown off, and depending on how Unexpected things are, how much i'm prevented from being able to anticipate what's gonna happen relevant to my day or whatever, etc, it can get somewhat distressing thanks like. i love living in suspense

April 24th: Are there things that seemed to come naturally to others that you had to try to learn over time? yknow nothing comes to mind in particular right now lol. can say "hm everyone seems to know how to interact in a certain way from the get go and i don't" but that's just picking up on people being nt and you don't learn Being Nt, even if you learn to mask as a draining defensive maneuver

April 25th: Do you experience executive dysfunction? If so, how often? What is it like for you? What do you wish neurotypicals understood about it? yeah like every day lmao sure am not just doing things b/c "i want to" or "i think i should" or "i intend to" or "i understand the reasons i ought to go ahead and do x thing" and the actual process of Trying to do [whatever] is sure hardly smooth or effortless or necessarily doable......like oh oops more time than i expected passed, i do things at a certain pace which took longer than expected, i kept meaning to do whatever but getting distracted, i got distracted repeatedly As i was doing x......the lattermost is like, i can't really excise that from any Process lmao, there's very very very rarely going to be any Unbroken Focus w/o any breaks and if it's happening, idk how long it's gonna last, not very.......like i Cannot draw things in under an hour, non detailed / cleaned up / elaborate stuff is still taking hours on hours likely, if something was a mere like. < 4 hours it was a Very Special Occasion and just happened to be forces aligning in ways i can't predict or simply decide to evoke, and it's like, well can i say this Really took 2399238 hours when plenty of that time was me Losing Focus / doing something else for a while, but it's like, well yeah, that's just how much time it takes b/c that's how the process goes for me, and i'm the one making this stuff. but also always struggling to Start to make it on any given day, the hours of "here i go" [hours later] "Here i go for Real" [hours later] [etc] and like, i'm always having to Shift Focus to Something, even if i want to start focusing on Task I Want To Do, i'm not actually yet focusing on it, so i keep getting caught up in like, oh but here's what i'm focusing on more immediately.....but yknow also just that Executive Dysfunction is really broad and can involve a lot of different experiences re: different processes so there's always more stuff for anyone to understand besides that it's Just like, about having difficulty Starting A Task.........but yknow i think a good thing to absorb about stuff is that it's never a matter of like, well, you can Simply Solve [whatever difficulty / Obstacle] because "you can just x" like no. none of this is a matter of You "Just" do whatever okay. like oh wow great that an nt person solved everything by pointing out everyone's else just too dumb of ass to have no difficulty with something, like them. love all people having the exact same experiences as everyone else re: everything

[its-a-journal-of-ideals]

I decided I should, yknow, probably properly introduce myself since I've been here over a month now. So, hi. 

You can call me Nick or Nicky, I'm genderfluid(he/they/she in that order of preference), asexual, poorly/partially diagnosed ADHD*, almost not a minor, and above is... kind of what I look like. yeah I really do smile like that, yes I really do have weirdly sharp canines. The hoodie is omnipresent. I forgot to draw my ring, though, it's a black band on my middle finger. It's also omnipresent.

I like people, so if you want to say something to me, go ahead!

Major tags of the blog: 

#pls feel free to ask me abt my wing au :3 is pretty much what it says on the tin, the designator of a post about wing au and remains an open invitation to ask me literally anything about it. Please, ask me about my wing au. I will infodump your face off.

#imomtal -insert activity here- designates something I made. The nickname was earned on discord because I was assigned immortal mom energy for diligently trying to make people even twice my age go to bed at reasonable hours their time, thus, imomtal.

#star speaks designates something my sibling made. 

#random scraps of internet means it's not bsd but I did want to put it in my little online house.

#IMPORTANT. is exactly what it says on the tin. Probably offline stuff, but keeping people safe/happy/healthy is always a good thing.

*the adhd is very there (rsd, emotional dysregulation, fucking memory issues, all that good hard-to-manage stuff). the psych-whoever lady only told my mom executive dysfunction.

[mytimeatlautia]

fun fact: i actually have another MTAP sideblog that I’ve not revealed yet that’s for content of the more...saucier kind.

i genuinely enjoy writing ‘not safe for portia’ stuff but my one reason for not revealing it is that i would totally take headcanon requests but i still haven’t got through my request pile on this account because executive dysfunction is a huge bitch so yknow

*insert picture of person putting on clown makeup here*