#it’s about loss it’s about divine punishment

[all-yourn]

Dean Winchester and Lot’s wife

Feeling Backward: Loss and the Politics of Queer History (2007), Heather Love / 11x21 / In the Dream House (2019), Carmen Maria Machado / Genesis 19:24-26 / 6x20 / The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet (2019), saltyfeathers / 15x18

[sillyandquiteawkward]

people really do equate morality to hair huh. ppl see a boy balding and say thats actually a sleazebag and creep who doesnt know personal hygiene. ppl see a man wearing a toupee or combing over his hair and make fun of him for trying to hide his true colors of being secretly an ugly balding person. ppl see a shitty person who happens to be bald or balding and say their disgusting ugly offensive hair is their divine punishment for their actions/personality. ppl see a girl whos bald, balding, or just has short hair and pity her and mourn her perceived loss of feminine beauty. ppl see a women with thin hair or receding hairline and harass her enough to make her start wearing wigs and hats or even undergo cosmetic procedures to fix herself out of fear of further harassment. can people stop being so fucking weird about the perceived morality of hair loss that literally almost everyone and their mother has. hair loss is not a bug its a goddamn feature

[genderkoolaid]

expand on ur "mental asylum Marxism shit" thing about children & grief?? from what you've said im pretty sure i will relate from my own experiences as a grieving child. also it sounds interesting!!

so i was thinking about how weird it is that, when a child has to deal with the death of a loved one, they say something like "no child should have to go through this! no child should have to even think about death!" which strikes me as weird because i was a child who dealt with the deaths of multiple close family members, very close together. the first was my great-grandmother, who i lived with and who was my best friend. death was never foreign to me (my mom has always been very death-positive on top of all that). grief was just part of my life like everything else was.

but i realized that its because people think childhood should not have any flaws. you should be 100% happy and fulfilled all the time. any time a child experiences anything painful, its bad. not "children should have access to love and support," but "children should not have basic life experiences because the idea of childhood being anything other than fluffy purity scares me."

because children in society are fundamentally not people. especially in a society structured around christian beliefs in natural law theory, that what is natural = what is good, healthy, and Divinely commanded. so on top of children being the property of adults, they are also forced to be the symbols of Nature. whatever is the most useful to whoever needs them. which means we built up this idea of children as tabula rasas, pureness incarnate. like a magic mirror where if we look into it, we'll be able to catch a glimpse of the true face of humanity. every single thing children do can be scrutinized for some grand truth about humans as a whole. and then, the ways children are treated also reflect how we think humanity should interact with its own nature.

example: the idea of humanity as inherently sinful and wicked, with that urge needing to be suppressed through state violence (hello hobbes) = the idea that children are annoying and shitty on purpose and need to be forced via punishment into being Good Citizens.

this is also why children cannot be trans, even though all trans people must prove that we were trans children. being queer must be unnatural; and even if not, its inherently sexual, and sexuality is dirty and bad. so children can't be trans, and they also can't read books on puberty until their parents decide when and what exactly they are allowed to learn. child victims of sexual assault only matter to the extent that they can be used as a symbol of a cultural threat; calling Jewish or trans people pedophiles means saying that they are foreigners attacking basic human nature, and indirectly, Divine command. if you aren't the right kind of victim, or when you inevitably reveal yourself to be A Person with complicated experiences and opinions, you are no longer of use to the agenda.

it sucks that bad things happen to anyone. aspects of youth can exacerbate the pain sometimes, but sometimes it does the reverse: I wish I could have spent more time with the family members I lost, but I know other people who are glad they loss family members young, because they weren't really hurt by it. I think the main thing is that, even sometimes when we talk about our past selves, we project this cultural idea of Child As Purity and ignore the actual person having the experience. when we "empathize" with children by projecting Purity onto them, we aren't actually connecting with them.

[hellyeahsickaf]

You know how you look back at past shitty connections, friends, family dynamics, and relationships and you're like "I can't believe I let them treat me that way"? I think it hits differently with disability because when you're disabled you don't always even know that you're being mistreated and/or abused in regards to it.

I know statistically disabled people are more likely to be abused but sometimes there's an additional type of abuse that's hard to identify even in hindsight because no one tells you how abusive it is.

But ableist abuse relating to your disability can look like:

Pushing you to do things beyond your limitations despite their awareness of them.

Blaming you for the "inconveniences" brought on by things beyond your control (ex: missing a movie because you had to wait for your pain meds to kick in).

Not allowing you to take breaks or antagonizing you when you do.

Bullying or making fun of things you can't help like gait, a lisp, an embarrassing symptom.

Trying to "cure" or "fix" you, often framing it as "helping" you. Sometimes they look similar and you might be able to tell by their reaction towards lack of improvement.

Holding over you the things they have to do for you (cooking, cleaning, driving, working, etc).

Giving ultimatums that demand things of you that you can't do (getting a job, keeping up with multiple chores).

Using insulting terms, language, and/or slurs that you have not permitted them to or in a context where there is intent to harm you.

Interrogating you about your disability or trying to find discrepancies between your experiences and what they've heard/read/seen about it.

Implying or saying anything along the lines of you faking, being lazy, or exaggerating. Reducing you to a hypochondriac, saying you enjoy being disabled because you seem to like having things done for you, or that you're lazy or abusing them by depending on them for things.

Asking you about it not to learn more, but to use it against you in some way.

Having a martyr complex, acting as if they're a hero for giving you the support you deserve.

Calling you a burden, implying you to be one, or treating you like one.

Acting like you owe them a debt, sometimes even demanding some kind of repayment. Keeping track of money they spend on you that you won't be able to pay back, feeling entitled to things like control, sex, a portion of government benefits, etc.

Self victimizing. They act like you being disabled causes more suffering to themselves than you.

Accusing you of being addicted to your medication. If you genuinely develop an addiction a normal response is concern not rage, finger pointing, etc. if you don't have one baseless claims are very harmful

Trying to force you to stop "depending" on things you need like medication and disability aids

Comparing you to others that are doing "better" than you. Maybe showing you inspiration porn of someone with no legs for example doing incredible things- which is great for them but the "I don't let my disability stop me so you can do anything" shit is harmful. Some of us will get very unwell if we try, and some just can't.

Trying to make others also see you as dramatic, faking, or lazy. Often embarrassing and mocking you as well.

Withholding things you need like medication or disability aids as a punishment

Saying your disability is karma or something inflicted by a divine entity/religious figure. Maybe as punishment for not praying, being queer, or something else they disagree with.

Saying that it's a result of being "promiscuous"/LGBT. For instance if you have HIV or ME/CFS that was a result of something like mononucleosis ("kissing disease").

Shaming you for things related to your disability beyond your control or expressing embarrassment over these things. including but not limited to: appearance (general but also things like say a lupus butterfly rash or weight gain/loss), having to lay down in public (ex: with POTS), inability to keep up with hygiene, etc.

Lacking boundaries and acting as if they are entitled to information or intrusion of your space/belongings due to the power they hold over you and assistance they may provide.

Implying/saying you're living an extended vacation. Maybe one they say they wish they had because they have to do x y z while you "sit around"

Abandoning you solely for your disability (ex: because you can't hang out, they don't want a disabled partner, think you're faking, etc)

Note that someone doing one or two of these things a few times doesn't always mean they're abusing you (also depends on which). It's about the patterns and frequency of this behavior as well as refusal to improve once aware that they're hurting you. People who care about you don't want to hurt you and the normal response is to do their best not to repeat the action that negatively affected you

There are more examples and you can feel free to list some

✨This is about physical illnesses and disabilities, please don't derail✨

[vivmaek]

Can you pleeeaseeeee make a post on solar return chart observations?

SOLAR RETURN OBSERVATIONS

These observations are based on my own experiences.

Neptune in the 10th House - Feelings of confusion arise in regards to the general direction your life is taking. It is hard to set goals and stick to them. For me, the future seemed so undefined that it became stressful. Idealism is getting in the way of setting up proper plans. It is best to just sit back and watch things unfold during this time. 

North Node in the 12th House - I found myself isolated. My spiritual understanding grew immensely. I turned to meditation and nature walks. I became comfortable with being alone. 

Pluto in the 8th House - All the dark and hidden aspects about yourself are going through massive changes. You redefine your understandings on sex, intimacy and trauma. This is a painful process that is usually started through loss and rejection.

Chiron Trine Pluto - This is the start of a healing journey. It seemed like every day I was reminded of the trauma I’ve experienced. I couldn’t escape the pain I had been running from for so long. I had to face these wounds in order to heal them properly. 

Capricorn Ascendent - You might go through this year feeling as if you are constantly being punished. I spent more time at work than anywhere else. 

Venus Square North Node - Massive breakups and heartbreak. People who no longer serve you will be cut off, even if you don’t want that. 

Mars in the 11th House - Tensions begin to rise amongst friends. Expect arguments or even the feeling of competition. 

Mercury Square Saturn - I didn’t know how to use my voice. I found myself saying “I don't know how to talk to people anymore.” Under this influence I was silent. I felt like I had nothing to say or offer. Every social interaction seemed so awkward and I felt terribly misunderstood. 

Saturn in the 7th House - If you ask someone out, you might get rejected. Either way, there are some tough lessons to be learned in regards to relationships. 

Moon in the 4th House - This is all about finding your home. If Mercury is also in the fourth, it calls for a significant move or change in residence. 

Mars in the 12th House - Seriously watch out for hidden enemies! There are people who are secretly angry with you. 

Venus in the 1st House - This influence is so much fun! This was the first time in my life in which I could look in the mirror and call myself beautiful. My confidence skyrocketed, I started to wear all the things I had always wanted to wear. My style became defined and I was literally playing dress up every day. I engaged in a lot of social activities during that year, and ate a lot of great food! A significant partnership also began during that year, and I fell in love for the first time. 

Mars in the 4th House - Feeling argumentative and restless around the family and home. 

North Node Trine Neptune - Divine intervention, stepping into what's aligned for you. I felt like I had found my mission. 

Mercury in the 3rd House - During this time, I would recommend taking up walking rather than driving everywhere. Suddenly the neighborhood you live in is going to become the most interesting thing, there is a lot to discover within the surrounding area. 

[pythoria]

astarion is such a great character but one reason that stands out to me is how he turns the vampire stereotype on its head. vampires from their inception have been metaphors for sexuality, back in ye olden times when religious and cultural dogma repressed people's desires and forbade acting on them. they've always represented latent sexuality and people's increasing desperation. they were a fantasy that allowed people to imagine not being bound by societal rules, but by their internal hunger, giving into it and how that might feel, but more than that, how it might feel to be a victim of that. women, especially, were not allowed to express any desires, so the vampire taking whatever they wanted, as well as being desired for something as intrinsic to your being as your blood - that's a powerful fantasy. at its core, vampirism is about loss of control, and people who hold onto control very tightly in their lives will find themselves drawn to vampires as a form of catharsis.

but that's where astarion comes in and flips it around. he's far from the first character to explore the negative sides of vampirism, but as a long-term fan of many fictional vampires, i think he does it best. primarily because his story delves into the sexual aspect and the loss of control much more, while maintaining a lot of realism. his vampirism is very grounded in reality; he has real human feelings about it. the idea that people would find the powerful vampire overpowering them alluring is contrasted by the very obvious (to us, a modern audience) issues with consent involved. if the vampire cannot control their hunger, if they have no control over the desires they act on, that might sound appealing to someone who has never been allowed to act on *any* desire, but the reality of it is horrifying. it's being a victim of assault at your own hands. it's people using you and you being unable to express any discomfort, because what *you* want is always backseating what the vampirism demands. the liberating feeling of being able to act on your desires turns into the claustrophobia of being unable to deny them at all.

vampirism always came with downsides, of course. not being able to walk in the sun (being exiled from the world and polite society), not being able to see your reflection (a loss of self), dying and being reborn, but not coming back quite the same, never being able to return to the person you once were (giving up life itself, but not arriving in a religious heaven, rather staying on earth past your time, defying god, giving up the chance at eternal bliss for the inherently sinful continuation of the flesh), eternal life (losing everyone you love, seeing everything end) akin to eternal damnation in hell. all of these downsides, and yet, with astarion, even the good bits are tainted, or turned into something negative.

on top of that, the choice to damn himself for any supposed benefits of vampirism wasn't even given to him. he was turned against his will, kept against his will, had his freedom - the only thing worth anything to a vampire - taken away. he didn't escape from a life that boxed him in, he was ripped away from a life he dearly misses. but then again, considering his actions as a magistrate, it's also a sort of divine punishment by proxy, one that is entirely disproportionate to his crimes, in a way only something as extreme as vampirism can be.

obviously the proxy for all this is cazador, but he is merely a personification of the dark force vampires are slaves to. cazador exists because it's much easier for an audience to understand how little control a vampire has over his actions when they can point to someone and say "you're at fault, astarion is innocent, you forced him to do all of those awful things". but the truth is, cazador doesn't have to exist. cazador's compulsion could be replaced by an amorphous urge, coming from inside astarion, outside of his control, and his character would make just as much sense, except it would be harder for everyone (including astarion himself) to separate the actions from the person. imagine a dark urge character who wanted to be good, but the urge wasn't something they could resist. imagine an evil dark urge run, killing everyone, but entirely against your will. would you defend that character? would you be able to redeem them if one day the urge ceased? would you even be willing to wait, to give them time to break free? or would you just kill them, as a mercy on the world? there's no surprise that most people would stake astarion on sight. maybe he can be redeemed eventually, but what about the time inbetween?

yes, this all comes from dnd vampire lore, so it applies across the board, not just for astarion. vampire spawn exist as a different entity from a fully-fledged vampire because it allows the spawn to keep a part of their humanity, their soul, and have their morality exist separately from the call of the blood. all of this makes astarion fascinating, and also somewhat easier to analyse.

[asumofwords]

Smoke, Fire and Ash

Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. Angst, grief, sorrow, fighting.

This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.

Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)

Masterlist

Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.

Note: Hello angels, here is the next chapter hehe, bit of a sad one but what do we expect from SF&A at this point? Lmaooo. I've almost completely finished writing the whole series, so updates may become more regular as I pump it all out for you. What a journey this has been! Enjoy <3

Chapter 92: Burn Together

To say that things went back to normal would be a farce.

It was all a farce. 

The fake smiles. The small nods. The words of affirmation and condemnation. The false sense of security and even falser acts of content. It was all wrong. It was all changed. And it was all too much.

You spend much of your days in the Garden, sat where you were usually seated, staring out at the water as you tried to uphold some sense of strength. Tried to show some vision of superiority and that the loss of the child was divine intervention. As though the anger and hurt had gone, as though the sadness and regret had left, because you knew it was for the better, or perhaps the Gods had told you so. 

Words came to you rarely as you began to shrink into yourself again, but with each shrinking moment came the bursting strikes of life. Not happiness or joy, not frustration or longing, pure and uncontested rage.

Rage that it happened.

Rage that he had done nothing.

Rage at your stupidity.

Rage at your desire for more.

Aemond did not try to pry words from you, nor did he even try to touch you. He simply let you exist around him, giving you the space to come to him when needed. Late at night, in the darkness of the chambers you would roll to face him, and the most bitter of sobs would leave your lips. 

At first Aemond had been uncertain, and stayed still amongst the sheets, unsure of whether or not to hold you or offer you support. But when you had rolled and pressed yourself into his side, his arms had curled around you in a way that felt natural, as though your body was made to fit between his in such a way, and let you cry against his chest. 

Your clothes, your maids noticed, had begun to wear large on you, finding that you had no want to eat nor any appetite to do so. Even with the gentle encouragement of them both, you still did not find the heart to do it, looking at the bowl of star fruit in front of you, stomach full of lead. 

But Aemond allowed you to do it. 

He allowed you to grieve, but at some point, everyone has their limit, and it seemed that tonight was the night for his. 

“You need to eat, Y/n. You need move past this grief. Do not let it consume you.” He implored, grasping at your cheeks.

You pulled away from him, looking up at him with a shaky lip, “Nothing you do will ever make this okay! Nothing you say will take away what you have already done, or what you are to do.”

“What are you talking about?” He questioned, deep lines in his brow.

“This! Us!” You broke, “All of it. It seems as though the Gods have destined us with nothing but pain and agony, and how much more must I bear? My heart cannot take it, Aemond.” A tear slid down your cheek, “I am tired, but more than this I am so alone. So very much alone even with you standing in front of me. Even as I can reach out and touch you with mine own hands. Even as you promise me sweet nothings, I know that it will never be enough to satiate the hungers of the punishments I will soon be lashed with.”

Aemond shook his head, stepping forward towards you again, “Do you think I am going to hurt you? I’m not going to punish you for losing the child. It was not your fault.”

A sob fell from your lips, “Then why do I feel one coming? Why do I always feel as though I am one hair away from your cruelty? We take one step forward together and five steps back. I have given you everything, and yet what do you give me? Nothing. You did nothing. You stood there and watched as I was brought before Aegon. What if it had been me? I thought it was going to be me! And you stood there like a craven and just watched.”

His violet eye blinked at you, the sapphire beside it, still.

You sucked in a breath again, “You watched as your precious wife, the mother to your child, was brought to the throne by force. You watched as Aegon threatened to take my tongue. And what did you do, Aem? You stood there and did fucking nothing!” Anger rose within you, bubbling viciously beneath your skin, “You stood there like a craven as your brother accused me of treason! Your wife! Your supposed love! Your one childhood companion who did nothing but defend you, no matter the odds or punishment! It has always been me. I have been the only one to ever love you. The only one to ever care. The only one to ever defend you. How many times did I do that for you? From the training yard, to the dragon pit, to the Sept. And when the time came for you to defend my honour, you were that same, scared little boy who would hide in the tunnels after his brother would tease him.” Heat rose on your cheeks as you looked at your uncle, his face stern and his eye narrowed.

"You expected me to do what?" Aemond snapped, "What did you expect me to do in that moment? I was not even told you were being brought to the chambers. I could not have possibly done anything that would not have made it worse. If Aegon had seen me react, he would have delighted in the sight and been moved to do more."

You scoffed, “I am burdened with being wed to a coward who hides behind the illusion of duty. A man who cannot even stand up to his drunken, pathetic, whoring brother.” You forced out a humourless laugh, watching as Aemond became irritated, “My husband who rides the largest dragon in the world, my husband who is a skilled warrior; sits and waits to be told what to do like a dog. Doing everyone else’s bidding.” You stepped closer to him, eyeing him down, “If I had not seen your cock, I would have suspected you were a eunuch.”

“My duty is to my brother, to my mother. To my blood.” He sneered.

“And what of my blood, Aemond? What of our union? What of the prophesies from the Gods? Did they not command you to act as you watched me be dragged by men into the throne room? That babe may have been the Prince that was Promised, and now it is gone. Because of you.”

Aemond huffed, “I could do naught! He is my brother. He is the King.”

“And I am your wife! And the blood of the dragon between us runs thicker than the water of the womb you have shared. Like a scared little boy. Never have I seen you so pathetic. You left me for dead.”

Aemond scowled, “I would never do that to you.”

“And yet, you did. You left me at the hands of your brother. And you watched. You have only lost one eye, yet you are so blinded by your duty to them. I feel as though I have died already. I died the moment I watched you do nothing, as those men touched me, as the pain creeped into my womb. I died the moment I realised I meant nothing to you, and that you would let my fate fall into Aegon’s hands. Is this a cruel joke from the Stranger? Is my true reality too grievous for my soul to take? Am I destined for all eternity to love a man who does not love me back?”

“I do love you.” Aemond insisted, frustration in his tone.

“Then why do you let them hurt me?!” You cried, “Why do you hurt me? The Gods play tricks on my mind and my body, and punish me for your actions. She was your whore. Your bastard. And yet I was punished for it. Not you. Me.”

“I lost the child too, do you not think that it pains me so?”

“I know it does not! You did not feel it as I felt. You did not feel the life leave my body, or the pain that came after. You did not feel it pass through me.” You sniffed, another tear falling.

Aemond’s lip twitched as he looked down at you, voice dangerously low, “I thought I lost you both.”

“And that is where the sickness and depravity of the Gods come to fruition. It is a never ending cycle of hurt and be hurt. I do not know what they have planned for me, but I fear it, Aemond. I fear the path they have paved for me. That child was from them, I know it. I felt it in my bones. And yet we lost it. Will they punish me now for being so careless? Will they punish us both for not ensuring its birth? I cannot continue to wreak the consequences of the men around me. I will break. I will break like poor Helaena did. But even to that, there is nothing I can do because I fell in love with a man who’s actions wound me most terribly. There is this small, foolish piece of me still holding onto hope that the Aemond I grew up with would still care for me as he did.”

“I do. I love you deeply. I would do anything for you, surely you know this.” Aemond began, stepping forward to hold your face tightly in his large palms, thumbs brushing the tears that fell from your cheeks.

“It is okay,” You heaved a breath, “Please just tell me if it is a farce.” You grabbed his wrists almost desperately, “If you only say it so for the treaty. I will understand, I will even make my peace with it.” You said desperately,  “But please, I cannot survive my heart being torn apart by you any longer. I cannot do it, Aemond. I won’t. I will throw myself from Maegor’s Holdfast, I promise you this. I will set you free from these marriage bonds if you so wish, and my spirit from this earthly plane.”

Aemond stepped towards you, grabbing your shoulder and neck, fingers framing your chin, “Avy jorrāelan.” I love you, “Eman va moriot jorrāelatan ao.  Kesan va moriot jorrāelagon ao.  Se qēlossās kostagon ropagon hen se jēdar, se nyke iēdrosa jorrāelagon ao.” I have always loved you. I will always love you. The stars could fall from the sky, and I would still love you.  

Aemond’s eye narrowed as he spoke, brow furrowed in a way that creased the scar at his brow, “Eman jorrāelatan ao pār nyke ēlī ilagontan laesi va ao.  Se kesan jorrāelagon ao ēva ñuha mōrī jelevre.” I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. And I will love you until my last breath.

A loud sob left your lips as your heart clenched in your chest at his words.

"Hen se gūrēñare yard, naejot se havor tistālion, ēza va moriot issare ao.” From the training yard, to the kitchen, it has always been you.

“Aemond.” You hands tightened around his wrists in a way that would have been painful as you clutched him for dear life.

The Prince pulled you forward towards him, clutching you against his chest as he let you cry, wrapping his large arms around you, blanketing you in a feeling of safety that only he could bring to you.

You cried into him, feeling the last of your resolve fall away, and the rawness of your grief exposed to the chambers. He held you to him tightly, afraid to let go, your hands tightly wrapped in the front of his tunic.

When Aemond finally pulled back, he brought his lips to yours. It wasn’t burning with passion or desire, it wasn’t laced with regret and grief, instead, his lips moved against yours like a gentle whisper of assurance, a smaller whisper of truth, and the almost invisible whisper of a promise, all of which was overpowered by one thing, and one thing only.

Love.

Your uncle pulled away, looking down at you with nothing but adoration as he spoke again,“Lanta rōvēgrie zaldrīzes perzyssy, hēnkirī hae mēre. Spool hen kasta, spool hen zōbrie. Iā rōvēgrie ropagon naejot letagon lanta hubon. Vējes naejot zālagon hēnkirī.” 

Two great dragon flames, together as one. Spool of green, spool of black. A great fall to tie two threads. Fated to burn together.  

Tears continued to fall, but not because of grief. Not because of the sorrow that swallowed you into its dark pit, its wispy tendrils pulling you beneath its icy surface. Not because of the regret that you had, or guilt that you felt for the Maester.

You cried because you knew it was the truth. 

You knew it to be.

It had to be. 

All of this could not be for naught.

“Avy jorrāelan.” I love you, He whispered again.

You gave him a sad smile in return, “And I love you, but I don’t think I will survive this.”

“I will not let them hurt you.” 

You looked at Aemond carefully, watching as the words left his mouth, at the way his eye held conviction, at the way his mouth held an almost Godly truth.

The way he said it to be true.

As though speaking would make it so.

“You already have.”

Aemond dipped his head towards you again and kissed you, pulling you against his body once more as you wrapped your arms around him, sighing into the kiss, feeling relief in his touch, safety in his arms, warmth in his reach.

Slowly Aemond moved you backwards towards the bed.

Your heart did not race nor skip, your breath did not hitch, and you went with him willingly, hands reaching the bottom of his tunic to begin unclasping the latches that held it together. 

When the last clasp was undone, your hands skated beneath gently, softly, slowly, and moved up his torso, feeling the hard lines of his body, and the warmth of his skin, and the subtle breaths that he took as you made your way to his shoulders, hands moving beneath to slide it off his his body. It fell to the floor, the next his under tunic, and before long, your hands reached forward to unlace his breeches. 

Aemond spun you softly, pushing your hair away from your neck and forward over your shoulder, kissing the bare skin as he unlaced and the back of your gown, the heavy material sagging on your body until it slid to the floor beneath you. 

Breeches and chemises were lost, boots and stockings tossed, until finally the two of you laid atop the green sheets of your bed, his callused hands skating over your skin in reverence, with undying patience and care. 

First he took you with his mouth, bringing you to your peak with the help of his long fingers, stretching you open for him and whispering words of praise against your slick skin. When you peaked with a cry, he kissed his way up your body, through the valley of your breasts until he hovered above you, seeking permission to move as he lined himself with your core. 

You tilted your head upwards, chasing his lips as he slid inside of you slowly, the both of you moaning into each others mouths. Pleasure coursed through you with every thrust, heat blooming in your core as he made love to you for the first time.

It was not possessive or rough, violent or haste, it was slow, and sensual, hands mapping out bodies, savouring the flickering sparks that spouted beneath your skin. The small sighs that he made, the moans as he dipped his head into your neck.

All of it devastatingly pure.

The tears came without you even noticing them there, Aemond finding them upon your cheeks with a moment of concern. He brushed the tears away from your cheeks as he stilled, the length of him throbbing inside of you, desperate to keep moving. 

“Are you hurt?”

You shook your head vehemently, “I wish we hadn’t wasted so much time apart.” You whispered, hips moving up to meet his, encouraging him to move again, “I wish the war had not happened.” Aemond slid through your folds as you babbled beneath him, “I wish that we had not done the things we had done.” 

Aemond bent his neck to kiss you again, tongue chasing yours before he pulled away, the breath having been stolen from your lungs.

“We cannot go back, we can only move forward.”

You nodded, weakness and sorrow buried down beneath you as you looked at him with determination.

“Burn together.”

Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3

Tag List:

@izzicle @ej-shitchats @may-machin @alegria1580 @witchy-jadda @videovampire @inkdelicious @queteimporta39 @virtualsweetsqueen @fo-cus @auratiqs @feyres-fireheart @queenofshinigamis @asoiafwh8re @teasandcrumpets @shesjustanothergeek @grungegrrrl@queenofsarcazm @marihoneywk @curlszx88 @virgogaia @loser-keiji @asoiafwh8re @whore-of-many-hot-men @vipervixxen @theonewiththeimaginaryboyfriends @watercolorskyy @lavendervisions @mazmack666 @chokefrog @orangejump-suit @nik2blog @serrhaewinin @ohemgeewhat @winxschester @cryptidsrcool @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @celestedonut @bloodyvelvet777 @iamapersonthatsalive @av-sos @yentroucnagol @sanzu-s @opheliaas-stuff @bellameshipper @maviee @persephonerinyes @neytiri-09 @ensnaredinwonderland @xbluegracex @sotragedynut @nattieot7 @shesawaywiththefairies-blog @coffedraven @prettycutebunny @celestedonut @the-jess-life @ssulfurr @out-of-life @madislayyy @crazylokonugget @cicaspair418 @katwmk @relminnie @milovart @teagrex @visenyaverse @bellameshipper @toodlesxcuddles @tempt-ress @dontmindmereading7 @qyburnsghost @55gyi53vtnquwziq5 @notnormalthings-blog @maidmerrymint @qyburnsghost @madislayyy @chelseaouat

Bold is who I cannot tag!

[mintflavouredwhump]

God Whumpee

It's honestly shocking how little there is on divine whump or more specifically, gods getting whumped so here's a list of some of my own ideas:

Consuming poisoned offerings

Another god trying to usurp their domain

Undergoing a slow demise due to the loss of their religion/domain and knowing they can't do anything about it

Committing a mistake and all the other gods turn against them because of it

Watching a demigod suffer and feeling guilty about it

Being punished by having their godhood stripped from them

Ruling over a domain that is feared, despised or mistrusted

Cursing someone (e.g. a worshipper, a demigod, a fellow god) in a fit of blind rage and regretting it later as they watch the consequences unfold

Their reputation is unfairly tarnished because their followers keep misinterpreting their instructions for their own gain

Being betrayed by another god they trusted or didn't expect it from

A human suffering the process of deification as mortal flesh and brains can barely withstand so much power and knowledge

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hi! since your req box is open again can i ask for a reader who is a fallen god x the yandere archons? :3

this was a really interesting one, really got me thinking haha :D i hope you enjoy :3c

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, being held against will, being mocked, being treated poorly, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Venti with a beloved who is a fallen god would find it amusing. You were so weak that you had fallen from grace, leaving you nothing more than a weak, helpless human now. He’ll of course take advantage of this, because while he no longer is at full power himself, he still has more power than you do.

If falling from grace wasn’t enough torment for you, the loss of your power, your divinity, your everything, somehow Venti made it worse. He had been the one to find you, finding your bruised, battered body lying beneath the Statue of Barbatos at Windrise. It was like it was destiny, fate, whatever sick twisted game Celestia was playing that day. Not only had you fallen beneath a Statue of Barbatos, but you’d fallen right into Barbatos’ hands. He had taken care of you, nursed you back to health and made you believe he only had your best interest in mind, but really he was doing this for himself. After all, you were perfect and he refused to let you leave.

Yandere!Zhongli would feel no differently about you. Whether he finds you after having just fallen or meets you afterwards and finds out, it doesn’t change his opinion of you. He is still well aware of the power he holds over you, sure of himself in being able to keep you in check. You were powerless now, nothing beyond a human at this point. He was still an Archon, even if he was gnosisless and currently away from the place of power.

Zhongli sighed as he sat across you from the table, sipping his tea as he watched you push the food around your plate. It had been a while since you’d last eaten and to ensure you actually ate he decided to sit and watch you. Setting his cup down, he sets his hands in his lap, watching you for another moment. When you show no signs of eating anything, he gently raises his hand, clenching it into a fist before slamming it onto the table. He stares down at you from his seat, watching the way you jump and his teacup rattles loudly. “Eat.” His tone didn’t need to be harsh to spur you into action, his glare and actions were enough to remind you who held the power here. Him.

Yandere!Raiden would chastise you for it, telling you that you fell for a reason and not that you belong to her, you’ll do as she says. You aren’t good for anything else with your lack of powers so you may as well serve her, after all she’s the closest you’ll ever get to divinity at this point.

“Walk faster, I have things to get done.” Raiden’s tone was even harsh as she spoke, more calm-mannered and flat as she ushered you to move faster. She kept you on a tight leash, demanding you kept pace with her stride as she moved about Tenshukaku, strolling the streets at her own, swift pace. Anything she didn’t want to hold would be passed to you, any task, chore, or favor she didn’t feel like doing she would order you to do, and any person she did not wish to deal with would be sent your way. All this was done under the expectation that you would still manage to remain by her side, perfect and quiet as she demanded of you. Even a single thought of breaking order would result in punishment upon returning to her palace.

Yandere!Furina would find it humorous, often bringing it up just to get a laugh as she mocks you for your weakness. She thinks it’s funny that you had messed up so badly that you fell from power and while she didn’t exactly earn hers, at least she was able to maintain it. 

Another loud cackle from Furina echoed through the dining hall, her boisterous laughter bouncing off the walls as you painfully swallowed your food. Ever since falling from grace, being banished from Celestia, Furina hadn’t let you live it down. She thought it was funny that you couldn’t even hold on to the little power you had before this, often bringing it up at random times just so she could get a laugh. You didn’t know how she seemed to find it so funny everytime, you’d think she’d have gotten sick of it the first five times, but as the number steadily creeped up on twenty it was clear she wouldn’t change her point of view on it anytime soon. Dinner no longer seemed appetizing as she continued to laugh loudly, her fist hitting the table as she even snorted occasionally. As much as you wanted to ask her to stop or simply excuse yourself from the room, you knew you were not allowed, forced to endure the endless mockery.

[tossawary]

Details of the System commenting on Shen Yuan's minor actions and thoughts to enforce the OOC lock in Chapter 1. Specifically when he smiles at Luo Binghe at the end of the chapter and when the System apparently causes him physical pain in front of Yue Qingyuan at the start.

"This smile was purely unconscious - but Luo Binghe felt like he'd been pricked by a small, fine thorn. He quickly averted his gaze and became increasingly awkward, unsure of what he was feeling.

Very soon, Shen Qingqiu couldn't bring himself to smile anymore.

The System had delivered a notificatiob. [Violation: OOC. B-Points -5. Current B-Points: 165.]

Sayeth Shen Qingqiu: "Even a brief smile warrants a deduction?"

Sayeth the System, most righteously: [OOC is OOC.]"

Chapter 1, page 61.

Shen Yuan rolls with his transmigration relatively well, even seeming keen and happy about it at times, and he argues with the System and talks at it when he's bored and accepts point losses when he's determined to do something. He's not moping around and I wouldn't say exactly that he's AFRAID of the System at this point, but mentally, at least unconsciously, it has to be messing with him.

Having something monitoring whether or not you're allowed to smile has got to fuck you up in the head a little. Even if you choose to ignore it! And Shen Yuan cannot always afford to ignore it! Even if Shen Yuan only had to put up with the OOC lock for a couple weeks, I feel like this experience of something commenting on your every move would be pretty awful.

Shen Yuan resolves to go OOC immediately upon his transmigration and the System reacts to those thoughts like this:

"Henceforth, he had to avoid any critical errors!

First eliminate any mistake at the root.

Second: from now on, cling madly to the male lead's thighs.

Third: be a good mentor and helpful friend who is earnest and gentle in his teachings; meticulously show the male lead every kind of concern.

The moment Shen Qingqiu had these thoughts, a long string of alarms erupted in his mind, as if one hundred police cars carrying one hundred shrieking divine beasts were zooming past. It was so cacophonous that he shuddered, clutching his head in pain.

"Shidi, does your head still hurt?" Yue Qingyuan asked worriedly.

Teeth clenched, Shen Qingqiu didn't answer.

[Warning,] the System shrilly notified him. [This proposed plan is incredibly dangerous and qualifies as a violation. Please do not attempt, or the System will automatically mete out punishment.]"

Chapter 1, pages 19-20.

His thoughts aren't private anymore! The System's alarms can be so loud that they cause him physical pain that other people notice! It's messed up.

[soltheocracy]

The road to perfection

In which Albedo is too attached to his darling to let them go, no matter what.

He’s done it. He’s finally done it.

With an undisclosed liquid dripping down his forearms and powdered chalk coating his gloved hands, he leans over his creation. His creation, concieved of fear and obsession.

His poor, pitiful darling, ever so generous, so kind, loyal, perfect, and still so terribly ill-fated. It is truly the fate of all mortal creatures by nature, he knows all too well. Afterall, there’s no stopping the hand of Celestia when it extends towards you, intended on taking you away.

He watched your body deteriorate by time, clutching your wrinkled hand tightly as your conscience peacefully drifts away from you. Laying in the arms of your beloved, you pass on, unaware of the lives your fleeting presence will influence and consequently bring to ruin.

Your abscence left an abysmal void in him. How could a human come and nestle themselves so deep into his heart, only to leave without his explicit permission? Wallowing in despair at the loss of his beloved, he wandered the streets of Khaenri’ah as if the never-ending stroll would exhaust his being and he’d eventually join you in the afterlife.

But then he saw you again. Sure, you looked different in a few ways; your hair wasn’t as shiny as before. Oh, Archons it wasn’t even the same color, but it had to be you.

Approaching the person in a feverish manner only to be met by denial and rejection, Albedo was stunned into silence, looking at the extension of you he had falsely put together in his mind with a cold glare. Surely you’re just confused, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You love him.

Even after his relentless efforts, ‘you’ still continued to deny him. ‘You’ shut down his advances each time he tried as much as touch you; but that’s all he craves, beloved. And if you won’t let him do whatever his heart wishes, then he might resort to taking unsavory actions.

————————

But he couldn’t. No matter how much you resisted him, he could never hurt you. So, with a heavy heart and shaking hands, he let you slip away from him once again. And so, the cycle continued over centuries.

It continued until it didn’t. He had enough of going so far into your relationships, only for you to selfishly leave him to suffer in his ever-consuming loneliness.

But no longer would he stand for this. If his beloved thought they could escape him using natural causes as an excuse, he would prove them wrong. He would go above and beyond for his beloved, no matter what it took.

No matter what kinds of crimes against humanity and even Celestia itself he had to commit, he couldn’t even care for the divine punishment he was bound to receive once word of his experimentation got out.

He would make his darling permanent. He only needed to figure out how to make them perfect.

————————

He always did like Starsilver. The colour of it- when extracted- could make an elegant hue of blue for his portraits. The leftover grains from the mineral gives texture, personality; something that his creation lacked so far, but he was determined to change that.

You didn’t even have the consciousness to form a single thought. Perhaps he should keep you this way. So pliant and motionless, without a single urge to resist his desires, but then again, he does miss having meaningful conversations with you.

This way, you’ll be just like him! The perfect couple, isn’t it so romantic?

Caressing down your cold, artificial leg, he nuzzles his cheek into your still limb lovingly. Albedo marvels at the way your skin reflects the gleam of the frigid moonlight, the way your hair - which he religiously combs day after day- cascades around the stone table you were laid on.

He can barely wait until you wake up.

————————

Although you gained your conscience only a moment ago, your eyelids felt so heavy you couldn’t open your eyes. As sound slowly fades in, you hear quiet humming accompanied by glasses clicking against eachother. The freezing temperatures that would otherwise bite your skin now feel merely comfortably cool, the air filling your aching lungs stung as if you haven’t taken a breath in a million years.

Unbeknownst to you, during your painful inhale, you let out a strained gasp. You only realized your mistake when the humming stopped and pure silence set in.

Your breathing -however excruciating it feels- accelerates in panic, the rise and fall of your chest giving you away clearly. You dare not open your eyes in fear of what you might see once you do.

But you couldn’t hear anything other than your own hushed breathing. No humming, no glasses, footsteps… No sort of sound whatsoever. Perhaps whatever put you on edge has been finally driven away by your presence. Waiting for a few more moments in anticipation of something, anything happening, but still nothing.

Opening your eyes, you’re met with a face only inches away from you. Albedo’s hair frames his face and drapes down, tickling your skin. His dazed, icy eyes gaze into yours, as if searching for a soul.

“You’re finally awake, my beloved.”

“I missed you.”

“Welcome back~”

[nerdsleaze]

SQUARE ENIX ANNOUNCES NEW MANGA AND ART BOOK RELEASES FOR SPRING 2025 😍

English Translated Editions of New Manga Titles, The Apothecary Diaries Art Book, and FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH Poster Collection Available for Pre-order Starting July 6

SQUARE ENIX® has announced seven (7) new manga series for English-language publication from the Square Enix Manga & Books imprints in Spring 2025. The hotly anticipated The Apothecary Diaries Art Book and the FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH Poster Collection were also announced for release in 2025.

The Otaku Love Connection, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

A hilarious slice-of-life rom-com about one high school's gorgeous power couple and the romance otaku who stan them! Life has its simple joys, and for geeky fanboy Wataru Otonari, that’s admiring his gorgeous classmate Yuzuru Kakoi and her equally gorgeous boyfriend, Chihiro Kawai. As Wataru encounters other students who stan his favs just as much as he does, every day turns into a rollercoaster of emotions for this obliviously beautiful boy failure!

Wash It All Away, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

With an endearing protagonist and luscious art, this seaside slice-of-life story offers tranquility in the chaos of the modern world. For two years, Wakana Kinme has run a laundry service in the seaside resort town of Atami, where she’s built a fulfilling life making friends with the locals and visiting hot springs. Although Wakana has no knowledge of her own past, her cleaning services safeguard memories imbued in customers' precious items.

The Emperor’s Caretaker, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

A statesman's daughter finds herself swept into the world of palace intrigue when she's chosen to be a court lady in this richly illustrated period fantasy! Linhua, daughter of the Chancellor of the Right, is as gifted with caring for children as she is at playing the ehru. Her talents catch the eye of Souren, the highest-ranking regent, and suddenly Linhua is swept into the vibrant world of the inner palace as a new court lady—and the young emperor's personal caretaker!

Assassin & Cinderella, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

A sexy spy and an elite assassin enter into the world’s sweetest, deadliest marriage of convenience! Neneko is a spy blessed with catlike charms. Her mission? Seduce the ace assassin of a rival organization and expose his weaknesses. The problem? She’s blown her cover before learning a thing! But rather than dispose of her, the target makes an indecent proposal: marry him, since he can’t keep his hands off her body!

The God-Slaying Demon King, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

The strongest demon king in history returns from the dead and embarks on a grand adventure to find the god of all demons...and kill him! When demon king Hiram defied the demon god, resulting in divine punishment, he cast a spell that would reincarnate him years later with all his powers intact. With his life restored, Hiram begins a grand adventure to find the demon god and kill him once and for all!

On and Off: Work-Life Imbalance, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

A lolita boy and a punk girl form a fashion-forward bond without realizing they already know each other from work! Outside the office, coworkers Sotaro Amata and Akira Hanku don outfits that metamorphose them into completely different people. So what happens when they form a connection after hours…without recognizing who the other person is?

Love in the Palm of His Hand, Vol. 1 (English Edition)

Through sign language and acting, two young men seeking their places in the world discover a connection that transcends the spoken word. Fujinaga is a university student who dreams of becoming an actor. When he meets Keito, a fellow student with congenital hearing loss, he’s introduced to the world of sign language. In a place beyond verbal limitations, can two people yearning to be understood forge a bond they never expected?

FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH Poster Collection  (English Edition)

A collection of 32 premium-quality removable posters featuring the stunning character art of FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH. Printed on heavy, press-varnished card stock, this compilation of frameable, full-color art prints showcases artwork of Cloud, his comrades, and other unforgettable characters encountered in this thrilling installment of the FINAL FANTASY VII remake project.

The Apothecary Diaries Art Book (English Edition)

Experience all the gorgeous art from the first fourteen volumes of the best-selling The Apothecary Diaries light novel series, which inspired the hit manga and anime! This jacketed, hardcover volume includes more than 300 lavish pieces of art from light novel illustrator Touko Shino, as well as previously unpublished character designs, promotional and exclusive art, and an interview with the artist.

You can get more information on the releases by visiting nerdsleaze.com. I honestly want them all 💘

[ejoym]

What is the backstory of Frankenfoot? Now I'm curious.

The short, spoiler free answer:

I thought it would look cute on her! So, I decided that she lost her foot during the final events of The Dark Urge’s storyline. I think it’s a fitting way to symbolically represent what she lost/gained to overcome her haunted past. And very sweetly, Astarion helped her stitch the corpse foot in place (which I might draw in the future)!

I also just like this dumb joke that she now has “one foot in the grave.” 

The longer, Dark Urge plot spoiler heavy answer:

Devlin doesn’t have many scars. As The Dark Urge she was a child of Bhaal and also his most loyal cleric. He granted her power over life and death so she could always cure wounds before any rigid scar could mar her sacred flesh. 

It is her bloodkin Orin though who leaves her with the greatest physical scar–the loss of her foot. In the climax of Durge’s story, Orin challenges Devlin to a final duel. Orin transforms into the slayer and immediately chomps Devlin’s foot clean off during this fight. Devlin, in excruciating pain, barely manages to kick Orin’s face in. (As the player, I had to get so creative because OMG ORIN HITS FUCKING HARD IN THIS FIGHT. I barely got by with strategically timed uses of Sanctuary, Hold Monster, Spirit Guardians, and Harm. It was brutal.) Through ingenuity and sheer luck, Devlin buys herself enough time to land the final spell that ultimately ends Orin the Red.

Orin melts into a puddle of her own flesh…and takes Devlin’s foot to the grave with her. 

Devlin had little time to process this before Bhaal appeared with his ultimatum. She rejects his offer and is punished by death.  Granddaddy Withers shows up and does the ol’ cleave body to soul thing for Devlin, resurrecting her to her almost former glory...sans foot! As a funny note: it's now granddaddy Withers who is lending his divine favor to Devlin but he refuses to answer any of her questions, so she's functionally an agnostic cleric now. Since she was killed by Bhaal after her foot was already lost, it became a permanent feature even upon Withers’ resurrection. But, with her cleric powers still intact, she has the bright idea to franken-foot a replacement! She scoured the temple of Bhaal to find a comparably sized foot (which did not take long, let’s be real). She painstakingly stitched the dead foot on with a little help from the nimble hands of her embroiderer boyfriend. She sealed the suture with her highest level healing spell and used a little necromancy magic to reanimate it! Thanks for the asks! I just posted that line about franken-foot for the lols but I actually appreciate the genuine curiosity from ya'll. 🖤

[divineintervention-comics]

When did you first read the myth of Ganymede? And why did you chose to make a comic for this myth?

its a long and convoluted story but im happy to share. in 2015, i was in middle school, i made horror character designs based on the zodiac signs and those later became OCs (i have never read homestuck, everything i know about it was forced upon me by my friends in school). i used the myths as backstories for the characters when they are living constellations. i wanted to make a RPG and they were stars that fell to earth when the gods got too caught up in their bullshit and neglected humanity and the earth and now they have to save the world.

i was immediately attached to Aquarius (who is now Ganymede), he was always an androgynous perpetually dissociated character even before i knew the backstory. i was a teenager myself at this point when i really got into it, and i found the Zeus and Ganymede myth to be disturbing since i was his age. it stuck with me, to the point where i struggled to find the other constellations myths less compelling.

i dont know how to code and didnt know how to make games, i already felt like i was losing it bc its been in production hell since i was 12 and i was 17 at the time. i felt like before i make the game, i should make backstory comics for ALL 12 CHARACTERS (how i thought i would be able to do that when i only cared about 2-3 of the characters in the series who knows). i couldnt stop thinking about Ganymede, i couldnt stop thinking about a story where he is a character and not just an object in the narrative.

in 2020-2021, i made my first draft beta version, it wasnt called "Cupbearers", it was "Divine Intervention: Cupbearer". i just found the myth so compelling in a "i need to make a horror story out of this" way, i needed to cope with my own fears of kidnapping, sexual abuse, human trafficking, loss of bodily autonomy, transformations, immortality, and being stuck through this myth inspired comic.

Ganymede, even as Aquarius, has always been a cathartic character for me, both as a 12 year old and now as a 21 year old. i grow up but he is cursed with immortality, cursed with eternal youth, the world keeps moving on and he will never be able to catch up. stuck in the same spot, never moving forward, never moving backwards, just stuck working for the man who stole his life until the end of time, eternal punishment viewed as a gift by those who bestowed it upon him. how could you be so ungrateful? we gave you a gift. we took you away from everything you've ever known, we've taken away ownership of your body, we've turned you into a beast like us, being tortured by me is a gift, it is a privilege that i chose you, you ungrateful meat-thing.

but he is just a kid, i want to protect him, i want to draw him having fun, i want to draw him enjoying a good meal, i want to see him find any comfort in the horror that is immortality. he's only a kid. just a baby, barely even though puberty, his brain isnt done developing, he had a future, he could have grown up and chose his own life. i think about that a lot.

i just generally have a lot of thoughts, everything i write and draw for this project has a point, it has a purpose, its not just needless suffering i dont write despair. (some zeus x ganymede shipper vagueposted about cupbearers being needless wallowing without purpose bc i dont write fluff fics between a grown man and his child slave)

i really appreciate this ask!!! thanks for asking me about my thought process, i have so much going on in my head and i need to get it out somehow

[crushedsweets]

Bing bong, I got a question.

What is Dina like in your AU?

Also, Merry Christmas!

-Bing Bong Anon

MERRY CHRISTMAS IM SO LATEE!!!

i realized i have no good footing for what i want dina to do in my AU. and so i kept putting this off. but i decided if i just talk, something will get out. so i got this.. THIS COVERS MY REWRITE OF DINA AND LAZARI!! <33

tw for cult topics, suicide mention, death, etc etc

i know i want lazari and dina's stories to intertwine.

i want them to be born into the same cult

dina is born to the leader. her birth is ceremonial and important, immediately she is treated like the second coming of christ. as she gets older, they begin to view her like a prophet of some sort - she's often referred to as a guardian angel just by existing, like her being keeps the cult intact and safe. blessings are attributed to her presence, loss is attributed to her absence.

as a result, she was kept under constant surveillance and incredibly isolated. she wasn't allowed friends, aside from some half-siblings who were still treated as below her. constantly being praised and treated like you are some sort of celestial being . . . really messes with someone.

in turn, lazari is in the same cult, but her mother was infertile, which the cult sees as a complete failure of a woman. so her mom sought out new forms of conception, and a demonic ritual involving zalgo took place. zalgo is lazari's "father", but she is raised by her mothers husband.

for opposite reasons, lazari is kept under constant surveillance and incredibly isolated. her mother is constantly doing rituals on her, trying to 'beat the demon' out of her daughter, as she regretted her actions the second lazari was born. she felt no love for her child. around age 7, lazaris mother does kill herself in front of her daughter. demonic tendencies begin breaking out for lazari

when dina is about 13-15, she begins sneaking out more often. it's just things like sitting on fields and talking to some random boys in the cult, something she'd NEVER be allowed by her parents.

one day, when she's out doing things she shouldnt do, she bumps into lazari. lazari is completely out of it, red eyes and black bloody oozing out of her mouth, all her veins are pure black and it looks fucking scary. and she bites dina. the next day, lazari looks normal.

dina doesnt tell anyone. she wasnt supposed to be out, she'd be in more trouble than it was worth to snitch on lazari. but shes scared, and she begins noticing changes in her own biology

her own veins darken, at night she wakes up black liquid fogging up her vision (crying a bit will get it all out), she is constantly ill, convulsing, etc. her own parents begin getting scared, and the rest of the cult begins whispering

and dina is fucking pissed. shes been given the entire world on a silver platter her entire life(aside from freedom), and lazari took it away in one bite.

after a couple months of dina's health and image deteriorating, dina is overcome with anger. she stumbles her way to lazari's little home, convincing her to go on a walk. lazari is suspicious but was raised to never deny authority, so they do.

dina guides lazari to the forest, deciding it her divine right granted by god to take lazari's life. completely convinced she is allowed to cast judgement on this 11 year old girl as punishment.

it doesnt work, very quickly they get physical - this 17 year old is trying to kill this 11 year old, but lazari is literally half demon. the second blood spills and lazaris adrenaline spikes, dina is slaughtered in the middle of the forest.

lazari tries to run away. but she is a product of zalgo, and zalgo is trapped in the forest due to slender pages decorating the perimeter. she'll stand at the edge of the forest, trying to get out, but there's some barrier that wont let her escape

and all the while, dina's corpse is being overtaken by zalgo

now lazari and dina are stuck in the same forest.

[nicolovespancakes]

Time I added something to the Sebaciel train-

The band Ghost, whom I love dearly and have seen live, (I have a limited edition black batwing hoodie with the Grucifix on the back, it was over 100 dollars 🥰😭), which I have heard every song of,

Is literally just Sebastian-coded. Specifically Sebastian @ Ciel coded.

Mary on a cross? Absolutely about Sebastian face-fucking Ciel Phantomhive. Get recked.

"If you choose to run away with me, I will tickle you internally, and I see nothing wrong with that."

Square Hammer? Absolutely about the moment they made their contract, from Sebastian's Point of View.

"Living in the night, 'neath heavens torn asunder, you call on me to solve a crooked rhyme. As I'm closing in, imposing on your slumber. You call on me as bells begin to chime.

Are you on the square? Are you on the level? Are you ready to swear right here, right now, before the devil?"

Call Me Little Sunshine? Absolutely their bond.

"You will never walk alone. You can always reach me. You will never ever walk alone. All you have to do is call me,

- Ease up to the hunter from the prey,"

Cirice? Sebastian's view of Ciel when they first meet, and whilst they make the contract.

"I know your soul is not tainted, even though you've been told so. Can you hear the rumble? Can you hear the rumble that's calling?

I can feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart. I can see through the scars inside you. I can feel the thunder that's breaking in your heart. I can see through the scars inside you,

A candle casting a faint glow. You and I see eye to eye,

Now there is nothing between us. From now our merge is eternal. Can't you see that you're lost? Can't you see that you're lost without me?"

And I cannot HELP but think of Rats as Sebastian seeing what's happening at the Kelvin Mansion at the end of BoC, and the servants subsequently killing the circus troop.

"Into your sanctum. You let them in. Now all your loved ones, and all your kin, will suffer punishments beneath the wrath of God. Never to forgive,"

Kiss The Go-Goat is self explanatory. Ciel fucks a demon. Moving on.

"Osculum Obscenum, *kiss*"

Ritual is Sebastian being summoned by the cult.

"Tonight, we're summoned for a divine cause. Remembrance, no. But for their future loss.

This chapel of ritual, smells of dead human sacrifices, from the altar."

Spillways is what I feel like Sebastian would think of his and Ciel's ever-evolving game, and Ciel's revenge.

"Through benediction, you tried to rid your mind of malediction. But through all this time, you try to peel it off, and it's such a ride.

All your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain't over now. And I ain't talking about forgiveness. All your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain't over now.

It's the cruel beast that you feed. It's your burning yearning need to bleed."

Phantom Of The Opera? Reminds me of when Sebastian is ordered to commit acts of violence or savagery.

"I'm standing in the wings. There I wait for the curtain to fall, and knowing the terror and holding I have on you all,

Yeah, you know that I'm gonna scratch you and maim you and maul, and you know you're helpless from my mesmerizing catcall."

ANYWAY,

IF I MADE A PLAYLIST, FOR THEM, ITS ALL GHOST SONGS

LMAO.

That's all.

My contribution to the Sebaciel fans. Yall are lovely. I adore you.

Mwah.