#it’s because of stress and insomnia

[vydumaj]

it’s so frustrating to constantly feel that I’m not operating at my max, or even normal, potential right now. I hear things in lecture, I read things, I kind of take them in and understand most of it but I retain next to nothing. plus I have no energy so I can’t spend as much time practicing as I need (much more time required than I would’ve needed just 2-3 years ago)… I don’t know how to get back to my normal levels of… brain efficiency, or how to make myself able to…remember things again.

[chaocollective]

Apollo was info dumping about the best way to make cookies (Klavier has no idea what hes talking about but thinks its hot anyway)

[xysidhequeen]

Current count since I last slept: 41 hours.

I think I've capped out at 46 before, I'm not sure because my worst fit of insomnia had me in no position to check times. But I'll say 46. So if we hit 48 we're setting personal records!

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

[focsle]

The one unfortunate thing about GTW being inked digitally instead of traditionally is....traditional hatching was really one of the best insomnia solutions I had.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just pencil up an 'in case of insomnia' piece. But the premeditated element of that seems like it'd just trigger insomnia. It was nicer when it was cos I had a behemoth project that I could keep working on but would also put me to sleep.

[afterthefeast]

i think i have played skyrim for probably a total of five hours in about five years but for some reason whenever i’m feeling particularly fragile it is the thing to calm me. there must just be something inherently soothing about it because it’s not as if i have any particular nostalgia for it. jeremy soule what did you put in this soundtrack

[bitchfitch]

I think I've finally figured out how to feed all three cats in the same room without Conflict happening.

Prime and Two know to go to their plates when I'm getting ready for bed, and they've been good about doing so for years. Three has been the Problem.

He knows where his plate is, but he doesn't want His food, he wants Prime's food, or he wants to eat with her as a bonding thing because he loves her despite her being like. I can not stress this enough, Consistently avoidant of him and Mean when he gets her cornered (Three is about 5lbs 5months, Prime is 12lbs and 5years he is not a threat to her, she just fucking hates him)

Two Loves Three, but does he ever want to eat with Her? no. Because he has a rock in his skull. Anyways.

The method is, Pick up 3. get a scoop of food and put it on his plate, put him down so that he is facing the wall.

Get a scoop for 2, put it on her plate, tell her she's pretty and that I love her. She will not eat if I don't do this.

Pick up 3 and put him back at his plate. tell him he's a sweet baby and pet him if he wants it. This is for me, he usually doesn't want pets at dinner time

Get Primes food, put it on her plate. Put 3 back at his plate facing the wall. Pet Prime until she is ready to eat, she will not eat if she doesn't get her dinner petting and it's the main reason I can't go on trips that are longer than 2 days because after day 2 of not getting her dinner pets she just. stops eating until I get back. Put 3 back at his plate.

Go to bed, say goodnight to 2 beside the door because she likes to walk me to my room before she finishes her meal. Go to bed.

also to clarify: There's at least 5feet between all three cats and prime and three are on opposite sides of the apartment. it's not a short distance he's going in his quest to bother her.

I haven't had to break up any hissing in a few days so I Think not drawing Three's attention to Prime after everyone is settled is working.

[kohakhearts]

not to be Hashtag serious about anything because that goes against my principles but this was the first year since i was 18 that i didn’t take antidepressants at all and the first time since i was 16 that i didn’t attend regular therapy (or at least Think i Needed to attend regular therapy) and yeah i wouldnt say i had a Good mental health year but. But. thats a big step for me actually and one i am very pleased with. go me

[makeitpoppy]

about the last thing i reblogged, the stress one

YOU GUYS

i've always been a sensitive human bean in terms of allergies and having sensitive skin, AND i already knew im basically a little walking bundle of stressed out angry nerves

but my body literally decided to rebel against me and let me tell you, one more problem and im going to wrap myself in bubble wrap or become the modern real life bubble boy

[proto-language]

don't know how i am meant to keep track of it all (essays presentations applications abstracts meals dishes laundry money societies sports relationships showers dissertations proposals sleeping more than 3 hours a night) without losing the will to fucking live

[angryborzois]

okay i need to like stop panicking every fucking time i cant sleep by a certain time

[stormyoceans]

Have a nice day, Monica🌸 How is your health? Are you not bothered by insomnia or are you feeling a little better? Question: did you receive the mystery box you ordered? PS. Happy upcoming birthday! I hope you spend this day in a wonderful mood🌸

hello, dear anon!!!!

i did get my jimmysea mystery box in the end!!!! there actually were A LOT of issues with the delivery because the italian mail system SUCKS to say the least, like it took exactly 5 working days for the package to get from thailand to italy and then it got stuck for two months in a warehouse near my city, so to bring it home i had to contact the connected post office and go physically retrieve it myself after work. i hope you guys can forgive me if i didn’t share it before but that day i was really tired and then i….. was kinda embarrassed by how bad the pictures i took turned out to be ;;;;;;;;

GUESS IT'S FINALLY TIME TO SHARE MY SHAME BUT ALSO WHAT HAVE BECOME SOME OF MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS (under the cut because this got long)

OKAY SO here's the actual content of the mystery box (feat. my grandma style duvet and the glare of my ceiling lamp):

the fact that they put only the puen plush in the box and not talay is so outrageous to me like GMMTV ARE YOU INSANE YOU CAN'T SEPARATE THEM!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!! (if you think i placed my puen plush so he's staring forlornly out of the window as he waits for talay to come back WELL YOU CAN'T PROVE IT) [but you'd be right ;;;;;;]

this is why i've decided to get the talay plush too, i can't leave my puen alone!!!!!! also while im not particularly fond of these plushies because they all kinda look the same and some of them are a bit.... bad, you would not believe just HOW SOFT they are, that was such a surprise!!!!!!

i understand if for someone this wasn't worth it, especially if we count how expensive the shipping fees were and all the time it took to bring the box home, but since i didn't have anything jimmysea related this made me ridiculously happy ;;;;;;

also when i ordered the mystery box i bought the talay's version of the friend credits shirt as well AND IT'S SO NICE!!!!!!

the size is a bit bigger for me, but i can use it while i sleep. the shirt also came with this lovely postcard that i would frame and hang on my wall if my family didn't come visit pretty often

I LOVE WHEN SOULMATISM TRUE LOVE AND FOREHEAD TOUCHES HAPPEN TO ME

[kodigobacktosleep]

I really did need to treat myself to some fun. Wonderful cure

[hamartia-grander]

Me: hey I'm struggling with this thing

My mother: *blames the meds I'm on that help me with another thing*

[druckkugelschreiber]

Me: okay, I can do this tired it‘s not a problem and anyway I should still get enough sleep

My insomnia: wanna bet?

[tcfkag]

The worst kind of insomnia is the kind where you are exhausted all day and manage to even get a nap. And almost fall asleep at your "normal" bedtime. ... But, for whatever reason, you DON'T fall asleep, and then suddenly it's 1:30 in the morning and you're still awake. It's like my brain is like "well, you missed your chance to fall asleep so I guess you didn't REALLY want to." Add not feeling great due to an unclear malady (possibly a multi-day migraine....possibly something else) and a 19-month-old and you have a recipe for a very shitty day tomorrow. Luckily Monotasker is WFH tomorrow so at least I'll have a chance to sleep in or take a nap despite Peanut not having daycare. And I might get to go out to lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while (as long as I feel up to driving) so that will be great. I think my insomnia is somewhat caused by how much of my days with Peanut keep me kind of constantly "on" without being able to use my computer or anything so I end up sacrificing sleep to get that time at night. 0/10 - not a strategy I would recommend.