#it’s gonna be awhile and im at least finishing up the year but ugh

[bassforte]

Here is to hoping my application goes through and i can get out by next year.

[nakedmossy]

Depth Over Distance - Part One [Rudy x Reader]

[A/N: I haven’t found a hometown Rudy fic yet soooo I wrote one. I have no idea where this story is going to go and I’m honestly finding it hard to get out of writing JJ and get into writing Rudy, but here we go anyways. I wanted to write something where the reader and Rudy were hometown friends before he moved to LA, and to explore the idea of how that would change/what it would look like when he comes back. Get ready for a S L O W. B U R N. my dudes. Peace and love, Mossy x]

The sky was grey and the air was wet - it had been raining for 4 days straight. You sat in your car with the heat cranked, your window down slightly so that the humidity didn’t fog up your mirrors. Living on the Alaskan coast was beautiful most of the time but horrible some of the time, especially when you had to waste gas just keeping warm and dry at 6pm in the beginning of ‘Summer’. 

You had never lived anywhere else aside from the summer you spent in Vancouver with your cousin when you were 19. Now, at 23, you were working full time at the local bookshop that was an 8 minute drive from your house in the winter and a 20 minute walk/skate in the summer. Your car was parked street side, waiting for your friend Lizzy to finish her shift at the cafe. The smell of the rain and the Ben Howard song on the radio made you nostalgic about the times you and your friends from high school had spent hours skating down these streets, beers in your backpacks, no helmets, dirty shoes and clothes, no pressure, no responsibilities, no cell service...no worries. 

Since graduation a lot of your friends had moved out of town, either to Anchorage or down to Washington, or further south. Your best friend Lizzy had stayed close to home, helping run her families business and working part time at the cafe. You had stayed local too...your dad owned a fishing guide business and your mom was an admin assistant for the MD in town, but neither made enough to cover all the medical bills you had racked up over the last few years. You figured once the debt was paid off you might leave...but you had no idea where you would go. 

You missed all of your friends, but you missed the boys the most, aside from Lizzy you didn't have a lot of female friends, and your boys had been like brothers to you. You spoke to most of them every few weeks on FaceTime, except Rudy. He had gone to LA for awhile and had kept in touch loosely, but after the first few months he started to drift. 

You felt the loss the hardest for Rudy. He had been your closest friend the longest, you had spent nearly every day of every summer together since you were 9, and every school year you worked the same part time job at the seafood restaurant on the water. Now, the last you heard, he was coming back for the summer to ‘reconnect’. You had low expectations and tried not to let yourself get excited, but truthfully, you wanted him to spend some time at home and be around his own kind again - he had always been a homebody and you were worried that being gone for 4 years would go to his head or change him.

Lizzy tapped on the glass, causing you to blink out of your reverie and smile at her. You rolled the window down and let her reach in and open the door from the inside (the handle had been broken since high school). She threw her backpack and skateboard in the back seat, climbing in and closing her door.

“Ugh.” She grunted as her teeth chattered and she rubbed her bare legs. 

“You know its only May, you shouldn’t even be wearing shorts yet. The snow just melted.”

Lizzy glared at you playfully and put her hand out to do your handshake. You did it, then put the car in drive and started slowly down the street, windshield wipers moving rhythmically.

“How was the shift?” You asked as you checked your mirrors and wiped some humidity off the rear view. 

“Same old” Lizzy leaned back in her seat and pulled the visor mirror down to fix her hair. “That old man Collins from the cannery keeps coming in and harassing me.”

“Jack? The one with the eye patch?” 

Lizzy nodded dramatically as she held the bobby pins in her mouth and started to twist her straight black hair off her face. 

“That guy-“ She finished placing the final pin and slammed the visor closed “-Is an absolute creep.”

You snorted a sarcastic laugh and rolled your eyes.

“He’s like...70. And widowed. Don’t be rude.”

“I’m not being rude. Im just...asserting my boundaries.”

“You literally have a 3 foot counter between you at minimum, at all times.” You looked over at her and raised your eyebrows.

“Whatever. All I’m saying is we need hotter men in this town. Like...soon.”

You nodded in agreement and felt your eyes wander all over the road, remembering the time you and Rudy had taken your longboards down it after a torrential downpour and you had crashed and gotten such bad road burn that he had to call his dad to come pick you both up because you couldn’t walk.

“Hey, Y/N, are you listening?” Lizzy cut back in, staring at you.

“No, what?”

“I said, speaking of hot guys, I heard Rudy is coming back for a few months.”

You pinched your face and looked at her then at the road, then back at her.

“Rudy is not hot. Rudy is....Rudy. What are you talking about?”

Lizzy looked at you disbelieving and closed her mouth, trying not to smile.

“What!” You repeated, smacking her arm.

“Hey!” She laughed, then shook her head and looked out the window. “Whatever you say man, I just think....” She grabbed her water bottle and began to screw off the lid “I just think...he’s not gonna be the same Rudy that left 4 years ago. He’s like...a movie star now.”

You couldn’t even begin to touch that one. You knew what she was doing...she was always harping on you about going on dates or taking trips with her to the mainland to hook up with the pilots during their layovers. You never went, and always insisted that you were just fine and were not interested. She never listened. Part of that was true...you were fine, and usually not interested. But sometimes, when the water was calm and the sunset was colourful and the fish were jumping and your beer was cold...you wished you had someone to share it with.

“I’m going up to Skagway this weekend with my dad” You said, changing subjects. “He’s short a guide and needs someone to drive the boat.”

“Lucky you” She said sarcastically, screwing the lid back on her bottle. “Another weekend spent with men twice your age who have zero ability to catch a fish and even less ability to smell nice.” 

“It’s good money.” You said flatly, annoyed that everything seemed to revolve around men with her. “And in case you forgot I’m kinda in need of that at the moment.”

Lizzy licked her lips and put her hands up, dipping her head. 

“Alright...noted. Chill out Kemosabe.” She giggled under her breath and looked out her window, drawing a small penis in the moisture on the window.

“Babe, seriously. You need to get laid.” You said, shaking your head.

“I know” She replied, working on the veins. “Trust me. Im in a state of national emergency by this time of year.”

Lizzy was absolutely one of the girliest girls (and most beautiful girls) in the south of Alaska, which was ironic considering the house she grew up in. Her dad was an overweight German restaurant entrepreneur who had opened a world class seafood restaurant in Juneau back in the 90s and had shacked up with her mother who was this drop dead gorgeous Haida warrior woman who you had literally seen kill and skin a bear with her own hands. 

They had forged this chain of restaurants local to Alaska that people flew hundreds of miles to eat at, but still lived in an off-grid cabin that hadn’t been insulated since 1960 and used wood heating. Not really the type of family that screamed southern belle femininity - yet somehow Lizzy came out of that union with a pink bed set, refusing to ever wear camo or sweatpants, and still had never shot a gun - which her mother reminded her of weekly. 

Lizzy had hit puberty at 10 and had used her breast advantage over every girl in your class for the next 3 years like some sort of distinction of better genetics, as if she needed boobs to prove that. Unlike you, she was naturally thin and tall (6ft to be precise), had long, thick straight black hair and olive skin, and perfect hips. You felt like a prepubescent boy standing next to her, with your uneven complexion and your frizz and your awkward thigh fat distribution. You were envious of her genetics - her mother graced her with the body of an athlete and the thick black hair, and her father had given her height and cheekbones that could slice through glass. You looked down at your arms, covered in freckles, pasty white from lack of sun, and cringed, looking back at the road.

You turned the corner leaving the main road and starting on the dirt road that led to your favourite part of beach access. Lizzy pulled her hoodie out of her backpack and took off her seatbelt, leaning forward to pull it down over her head. You leaned forward and looked up, this was your favourite part of the drive. The dirt road which was lined with moss and ferns and other foliage wound along the base of the snow capped mountain that was at least 1000ft in elevation. The mist and fog from the coast was thick and creeped through the tall cedar trees, black ravens and falcons flying overhead stark against the white mist. This was the most idyllic picture of northwest coastal living you could find.

When you parked at the trail head Lizzy slipped off her work flats and into her Teva’s, you grabbed your yellow Vans out of your trunk and slipped them on. You usually drove bare foot, a habit you had started in high school after Rudy had thrown your shoes off the dock at the restaurant and you had to drive home without any. You grabbed your sweater and your backpack which had the beer in it. As you were both gathering the rest of your things...beach blanket, hats, and rain cover, you heard a car pull up behind you. You stood up out of the trunk and squinted to see the car through the fog. It was a black ford pickup you had never seen before. 

“Who’s that?” Lizzy chimed in from behind you.

“No clue” You said as you lifted your hand to wave once. 

The truck had tinted windows and looked brand new. When it pulled up beside you, the drivers side window began to unroll, revealing Junior - your high school (ex) sweetheart.

“Holy” You said, eyebrows up, nodding. “Nice truck - where’d you steal it from?” He rolled his eyes at you dramatically.

“Whatever kid - its a rental. Got it to drive to the airport in.” His chest puffed out and his expression read so proud. 

“Airport?” You said inquisitively. “Since when does Alan pay you to drive new trucks to the airport?” 

“Since Rudy hired him for the pick up service and apparently is incapable of driving his own ass around anymore” Junior snorted and waved at Lizzy.

“Or he doesn’t have a car here anymore” You noted, rolling your eyes at him.

“Either way, I get this bad boy for the next 24 hours and I intend to give her the royal grand tour of our humble town.” He ran his hand up and down the steering wheel, stroking the new leather. “Wanna go for a rip?” He said, winking. You shook your head and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Well I do” Lizzy piped up from beside you, walking closer to the window. She smiled at Junior and began to put her hair in a pony tail. She nudged your arm as she began to walk to the passenger side door. “Come on, granny. Let’s go!”

She laughed as she climbed up into the truck, but you shook your head again.

“I’m good...you kids have fun. Say hi to Rudy for me” You said to Junior, who shrugged his head and muttered ‘definitely wont do that’ under his breath.

Lizzy blew a kiss at you and waved once before Junior put it in drive and started to go up the dirt road north of you. 

Junior and you had ended on okay terms, but he had concocted a theory that you had broken up with him because of another guy, and the unspoken suggestion was that that guy had been Rudy. Small town guys had a heck of a time with the idea of girls and guys just being friends. 

You sighed and watched as the truck disappeared around the corner, and turned back to your own car. You grabbed your backpack and slammed the trunk closed, walking down the path alone. You weren’t mad at Lizzy for going with him - she was flighty and bailed on you at the bar all the time - but you were mad the beer was going to go warm before you could drink it all. Not that you should even be drinking 6 beers alone by the water when you had to drive yourself home. Doubtful the 2 cops in this town would even be awake to see you though. Whatever.

You reached the end of the path and rounded the corner, revealing the coast line and the rocky beach. It was your favourite place to sit and think, sit and smoke, sit and be yourself. The beach curled in a U shape, giving you a private spot where the rest of the shoreline was blocked from view and all you could see was the ominous cedar forest that stretched up the mountain, the snow caps at the top, and the horizon over the cold pacific.

You had intended to share the joint you had in your pocket with Lizzie, but...well, her loss. You spread the blanket out on the softest patch of sand and rocks you could find (which still meant you were guaranteed to get at least 2 rocks in the ass) and placed your bag down, kicking off your sneakers. You took a deep breath for the first time in a few days and lit the joint, taking one long, deep inhale. You felt it tingle through your chest and your arms and legs almost immediately, relaxing you. Being here alone always sent you into a spiral of memories and thoughts that you worked hard during the day to suppress. Most insistent lately had been thoughts about your health problems. You called them ‘health problems’ but in reality it was just an eating disorder. You could go 2, sometimes 3 days without eating anything, and never felt hungry. It started after graduation.

You had lost weight, dramatically, going from a stable 120-125 to 95 at most and 90 at worst, in the span of a month. And for the next three years you had never gained it back, you had stayed at a relatively stable 95, which still left you looking sickly and too thin at 5’3”. Your frame wasn’t built for that kind of weight drop, you were Scottish and Cree, sprinkled with a little bit of German and Irish. A classic northwest cracker mix. You weren’t naturally small, you always had a bit of something to grab onto, but it was normal to your body, healthy. 

Some part of your brain knew that it had something to do with leaving school...and the pretence that came with that. The expectation...the responsibility. You were never that kind of person, and it never really bothered you, but suddenly it had. You never planned to go to University right away, but you had no back up plan. It wasn't something you and your friends really talked about. But suddenly Jacob had gotten into U of Washington, Dan had left to backpack Europe, and Rudy had not so graciously announced he was deferring his acceptance and scholarship to culinary school because he wanted to be an actor, and flew to LA the next month. You had been left behind, with Lizzy of all people, and it had hit you hard.

You looked around the beach, dragging on your joint quicker than normal, trying to knock the thoughts out of your head. An Eagle screeched above - scaring you - and you laid back on the blanket, closing your eyes. You needed to chill the hell out. This was the first time in a few weeks that you had gotten a night off from helping your dad with his guide business and you didn’t plan on wasting it riddling your brain with anxiety and worrying about your body.

You looked up at the sky and watched the mist and fog kiss the clouds, the sunset colours dancing across them. As it usually did, the rain had stopped just as the sun was going down, the clouds parting briefly and letting the smallest sliver of sunlight through, just enough to burn the grey light out of the sky and allow the pink and orange hues to fade along the horizon. You sat up and cracked a beer, enjoying the fresh smelling air and the rhythmic sound of the waves licking the shore line. 

Two beers in you had put on your jacket and placed your Bluetooth speaker next to you on the blanket, blasting a playlist that Rudy had made you for your graduation party.

Three beers in you took the jacket off, standing up and dancing by yourself on the beach to the music.

Four beers in you laid down on the blanket, balled your jacket up and used it as a pillow, and started looking for shapes in the stars.

Five beers in you fell sleep.

———

Many hours later, as the sun rose and was bright on the water and the early morning bird feed was in full swing overhead, you were drifting in and out of sleep to the squawking when a shadow came across your face, alerting you to groggily open your eyes.

“What’s up, Little Fern?” His voice had gotten deeper. Wait, what?

You opened your eyes and blinked, raising a hand to block the sun. There, in your very awake and very not dreaming state, was the unmistakable silhouette that you had spent the last 18 years dreaming about and 18 years being a friend to.

Rudy.

[taketheringtolohac]

simon for the ask game!

jshkajhja god victor i love him so much thank u for sending me this ok here we go (sidenote i know theres ppl who follow me who havent finished dd so if you dont want to get spoiled dont read this!! i talk about a LOT of spoilers!)

send me a character ask and i’ll answer!

favorite thing about them ok so heres the thing. i know that there is a lot to be said about him and just the way that he does like genuienly care for people even if he has a funny way of showing it but honestly? honestly? i LOVE a funny king. like his own brand of humor is just so good and when he laughs (at his own jokes, like a real Uncle Figure) he laughs with his WHOLE BODY which. yes king go get em. also hes sexy <3 not in a rat kinda way but he LOOKS like he should be just, outwardly, but simon blackquill himself is just a HOT MAN. yes im a lesbian and what about it.

least favorite thing about them this isnt about him but you know when aa fandom makes him a weeb? bad. stop calling urself/other ppl weebs in 2021 especially if u arent using the term critically/as a way to talk about ppl who fetishize Japanese culture tho most ppl who call themselves weebs dont realize theyre doing this anyways which. ok this isnt the post for this im just (rightfully) Mad

favorite line its not exactly a LINE, per say, bc i dont remember a lot of them, but remember when he shakes athena in SOJ and its like that kermit strangling meme? top 10 ace attorney moments EASILY

brOTP LITERALLY ATHENA AND SIMON BROTP LIVES IN MY BRAIN AT ALL TIMES LIKE theres so much healing that they both have to do from the 7/8 years since the incident and focusing on literally just that one incident and how to fix it (or in his case how to just like. live with it in a lot of ways) and they do some of it together but some of it they very much do NOT do together and i think like the setting boundaries that they do is just. its good. also i love the idea that he lived with her for a while after he was released like. just from a general perspective i love them sort of being a patchwork family but also just imagine being 18 and living on your own then suddenly you invite your 33 year old uncle to live with you who’s been in prison for the past 8 years. he doesnt rlly know how the world works from a cultural perspective and you dont know what its like from a “how do i use a can opener” perspective. together you’re a functioning adult.

OTP honestly i see him as very gay man in his 30s bachelor just living his post prison life and figuring stuff out but i’d be lying to myself if i said i didn’t read nahyuta/simon fics that shit is cute as FUCK and also ppl do a really good job of writing them like??? its about the understanding whats its like to go through an incredibly fucked up situation and not feeling the need to EXPLAIN yourself but to just understand that its beyond your control sometimes and gently helping them through without being making it about you because YOU wouldnt want that and. yeah.

nOTP if you ship simon with the phantom i’m knives out IMMEDIATELY i understand the want for angst but it makes me uncomfy and man has already been through enough please. also You Know What Else. i will not say it but it should be self explanatory.

random headcanon him and aura were REALLY close pre UR-1 incident. like i think they had a lot of issues but i think its just because they probably had to raise themselves in a lot of ways and pretty much really only looked out for each other for awhile. i like to think that he visited the space center a lot bc he was visiting her and thats how he got to meet metis and he was like huh maybe i could use this physcological stuff in court hmm and like thats how he became her student but i ALSO think that aura is just. SO mad at him for what he did about UR-1 and how he handled it because now SHE has to be alone and its not fair to him and she knows its not but she can’t help herself. Not just that but Simon hates seeing her lose it a little every time she visits him (which is often, he doesn’t get many visitors and even if he did he’d ALWAYS take her visits bc he misses her even if they don’t see eye to eye they’re all they’ve GOT) and just. seeing her become more cold and somehow thinking maybe its his fault and her not knowing if she does think its his in some ways but them still loving each other even if they have funny ways of showing it just UGH!!!

unpopular opinion he doesnt talk all posh why do ppl do that he’s literally a funny garbage man who like kinda hates himself a bit. also yes he’s emo but i think he would absolutely ROCK a printed neon button up with like. really loud socks specifically stupid steel samurai/anime socks. ik i said dont call him a weeb but theres a difference between liking anime/samurai/japanese culture and being weird about it. also he’s Japanese die mad about it

song i associate with them god i dont know i dont really listen to music but i GUESS i will say Mike Townsend (Knows What He’s Gotta Do) by the Garages because they’re very similar “i’m gonna do what I think is right to protect/save this other person and these people I care about even if the consequences are extremely detrimental to me”

favorite picture of them i will not say the simon shaking sprite again but you know that funky one with the bird? the one where he’s got taka just. perched on his arm. perfect photo i use it for everything <3

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? I don’t like anyone in that way.

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? No. The last one they celebrated with me was six years ago.

What’s the first word of the last text message you received? “Will”

Do you think you’ve changed at all over the past year? Not in a good way.

Is there a song that reminds you of your ex? Do you still listen to that song? Lithium by Nirvana. Especially a cover of it done by ThePeteBox.

Did you tag anyone in your last Facebook status? No.

How do you behave when you’re drunk? I was chatty and annoying I feel like.

What is your least favorite type of chocolate? Dark chocolate, blech.

When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? I’ve felt disappointed in myself these past few years.

Is there someone that can make you smile, even when you feel like crying? My doggo.

Is there a certain person on your mind right now? Tell me about him/her. No.

You’re getting ready to go to bed, and the last person you kissed shows up, what do you do? That would be completely random and out of the blue. I haven’t seen or talked to him in almost 6 years. I would certainly be surprised and confused and caught off guard. I wouldn’t go out and talk to him, though. I wouldn’t want him to see me right now. I honestly don’t know if I’d text him at least or not.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I don’t remember. My mind is a jumbled mess.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

Are you okay right now? I’m tired.

What time did you get up today? Sigh, like 930 after hardly sleeping at all.

When was the last time you saw your mom? Last night before she went to bed. She had the opening shift at work today so I haven’t seen her yet today.

What is the last thing you drank today? Water.

Do you dislike/hate anyone? No.

Where is your best friend right now? She’s at work.

When will your next kiss be? I have no idea.

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? 7AM is usually when I go to bed. :X

Does anyone completely understand you? I was just asked this in the previous survey I did, but no.

Who was the last girl you hugged outside of family? A friend. That was like 4 years ago.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? My doggo.

What will you be doing in 3 hours? *shrug*

How often do you straighten your hair? I haven’t straightened my hair in years.

What are you currently looking forward to? To when my mom gets off work because I’m gonna ask if she can get me a Starbucks on her way home. I’m also hungry and wanting a breakfast sandwich, so I’ll probably have one later. She’s not off for 5 more hours. D:

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day? What are you going to do? I don’t have anything out of the ordinary going on.

Who did you last hang out with? My mom.

Did anyone see your last kiss? Probably.

Could things possibly get any better? Uh, I sure wish they would.

Do you know who you’ll even kiss next? Nope.

Do you ever sleep in jeans? I haven’t in years, but I have before in the past. I don’t know how I did that. I’ve been living in leggings for the past few years and I can’t imagine doing that now.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? I only got like 2-3 hours of sleep.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Yesterday I got like 10 hours, which is insane. My brother came in and woke me up because it was after 6PM. I never get that much sleep anymore, so I have no idea what that was about. But now today I only slept like 2-3 hours. I tried going back to sleep, but couldn’t and now here I am. Sigh.

Are you in love lately? That’s a weird way of saying it, but no. It’s been a few years since I’ve had those kind of feelings.

How often do you see your ex? I haven’t seen him in almost 6 years.

Who was the last person to text you? My pharmacy.

Did you like anyone last summer? No.

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? All the time.

Who was the last person you stayed up with till 2am? My brother and I stay up late all the time, though we’re in our own rooms.

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Not at this time.

Are you currently in a relationship? No.

Do you use a full length mirror daily? No.

Would you be shocked if the person you have feelings for texted you? I don’t have feelings like that for anyone.

Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? Yes. I have to fix myself first, though.

What are you planning on doing after this? I’m waiting for my church’s livestream service to start in like 30 minutes.

Is there a girl you would do anything for? I’d do a lot for my mom.

Who IMed you on facebook last? I had been messaging a family friend a couple weeks ago about something.

How old are you? 31.

Do you love dogs? Yesssss. I don’t know how anyone couldn’t.

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? The first one came out when I was 12 and the last one came out when I was 22.

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? No, just the Disney ones.

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? Sure.

Have you ever watched an episode of "The Honeymooners"? Nope.

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? No, just flat tops.

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? I don’t own any rain boots.

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? Neither, but if I had to I’d choose the apple cause I don’t like oranges.

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? I can’t do either one.

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? Yeah, for choir and band concerts. Never by myself. 

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? No.

What size is your mattress?(single,twin,double,queen,king) Full size.

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? Not even close.

Do you sleep in PJs? I always wear leggings and graphic tees and sleep in that as well.

Do you prefer watching TV or listening to music? Depends on my mood, but I haven’t been listening to music lately.

Would you rather watch a movie in theatre or at home? There are some movies I love experiencing in theaters for the first time. 

Do you prefer brown or white rice? Neither.

Do you like spaghetti? Yes.

What about lasagna? Not so much. It’s the type of noodle I have an issue with. I’m weird and particular about my food and when it comes to pasta, I like thin noodles.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yesss.

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? No, it’s in November.

Do you like chocolate bars? Sure. 

what about ice cream? Sure. I haven’t had either one in awhile, though. 

Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? No, thankfully.

Do you get tired easily? I’m just always tired.

Or do you always have plenty of energy to spare? Hahahah, no.

Have you ever done volunteer work? Where? Yeah, I’ve done a lot of volunteer work. What about court-ordered community service? No.

Have you ever worn contacts?(even just to try them out) No. I’ve always been too scared.

Would you wear contacts on a daily basis? No. 

Are your ears pierced? How many times? Just my earlobes.

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? Yes.

Or were you born blonde? Nope.

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? Ugh, once I turned 30 they started popping up.

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? Nope.

Have you ever been screened for STDs? No.

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? Yes.

Did you have your tonsils taken out? Nope.

Did you have your appendix taken out? No.

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) I have both of them.

Would you(to save someone)?^^^ I don’t know if I could, like health wise.

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? skjflsfjklds nooooooo.

Do you like Harry Potter? I enjoyed the movies.

What about Twilight? I was really into Twilight back when the books and movies were coming out, but I outgrew it and find it kinda cringe now lol. How do you feel about Lord of the rings? I never got into that.

Are you going to see 'The Hobbit' when it comes out? ---

Do you have a glass that says 'Molson Canadian' on it? No.

Do you have any collector's glasses or cups or mugs? I do.

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? Black.

What size shoe do you wear? 6 in women’s (US). Each of my Adidas are actually a 3 or 4 in kid’s sizes, though.

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? Average, I guess.

Do you bite your nails when you're stressed? I pick and clip my nails constantly.

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? No.

Are you on the birth control pill? Nope.

Or are you trying to get pregnant? Absolutely not. I’m just not sexually active, so.

You'd rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? Black.

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? Shockingly, yes.

Can you swim well in water way above your head? I can’t swim.

Are you afraid of thunder & lightening? No.

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No.

What about a tornado? Nope. 

Are you closer to your dad?(more so than your mom) I’m closer to my mom.

Were you your parents' first born? I’m their first together, but not my mom’s. She had my older brother before meeting my dad.

Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No.

Did you trade stickers at recess when you were a kid? No.

How old were you when you had your first crush? Do you remember their name? I was 9 and his name was Philip. 

Can you even remember what the hell they looked like? Vaguely. 

Have you ever operated any type of motorized vehicle before? No.

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? Nope. I haven’t drank in 8 years and have no desire to.

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called "Mr. Dressup"? Nope.

What about the kids show "Fred Penner's Place"? Nope.

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? No.

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy.

What are those 'said' health issues? –

Do you collect DVDs? No. I don’t have that many.

Do you download music? Nope. I’ve just used Spotify the past several years now.

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? No, I have’t done that in yearssss.

Did you skip(jumo-rope) a lot as a kid? No.

Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? EW, noooooo.

Didn't you just LOVE art class in elementary school?! Yeah.

Have you ever played dodgeball? Ugh, yes. I hated dodgeball. I don’t find having a ball thrown at me to be fun at all. I was always scared of getting hit in the face.

What about Red Rover? Yes.

Have you ever played "What time is it mr. wolf?"? It doesn’t sound familiar.

Do you hate your weight? Yes.

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? I do.

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter, hands down. I don’t get the hype of Nutella.

Have you ever stepped on a snail? Gahhhh, I’ve run over one before.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? I like both.

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? I only wear ankle socks.

Last movie you've seen in theaters? The Invisible Man. That was almost. a year ago now. I miss going to the theater.

What is your oldest sibling's middle name? I’m not sharing that.

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? I have been to Disneyland several times, I love it. I’d love to go to Disney World someday.

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? No.

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I definitely wouldn’t go alone.

Do you like breadsticks? I do.

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? I never wear shorts, I’m a leggings gal.

What state were you born in? California. 

Have you ever had a nose bleed? Nooo, thankfully. I would freak out.

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Still live there.

Do you have a weak stomach? Yes.

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes.

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No.

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? No. Definitely not cut out for that.

Do you *really* like donuts? Yesss.

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? Not to me.

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? Uh, NO, absolutely not. The only people I text and text me are my parents, brother, and my Nana....

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Food, coffee, clothes.

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? I don’t like anyone in that way.

What do you usually order on a pizza? *finishing this hours later from when I started* White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, crumbled meatballs, and pesto. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? I’m single.

Who's the first person with the letter "m" in your contacts? My mom.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy. 

How old will you be on your next birthday? 32.

What color are your underwear? Blue.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Yes.

[crownedbyluke]

Long Road Ahead (Chapter One)

Estelle Finley has been friends with Ashton Irwin and Luke Hemmings for three years. When the boys bring her along on a jam-packed road trip to Cape Cod with the rest of the band, their adventures are just beginning. Through long hours driving, exploring cities, and hidden secrets, something more is bound to happen on this journey. How will this road trip change Estelle’s friendship with the friends she’s come to love so dearly?

Word Count: 3,480

Masterlist.

Luke’s blue eyes and Ashton’s hazel eyes were staring at me. I was used to their weird looks, but there was something in them I hadn’t seen before.

“Whatever it is, you might as well tell me before your eyes burst out of your heads,” I said while walking over to my desk.

“What are you talking about?” Ashton asked, a hitch in his voice giving him away.

“You both are staring at me, which usually means you have to tell me something. So come on,” I said, looking through some of the papers that were out.

“I told you she’d know,” Luke said making me laugh.

“Ugh fine. Estelle, stop being in teacher mode” Ashton teased making me laugh more.

I raised my hands up in surrender before turning to face them. I met Luke’s eyes and a shiver ran through me. I should have been used to it, but no matter how many times it happened in the three years we’ve been friends, it still took me by surprise.

“We’re going on a road trip and you’re coming with us,” Ashton said taking my eyes off of Luke.

“What? No I’m not,” I said shaking my head.

“Yes you are. You’re coming with us, Mikey, Cal, and Crystal. Oh, and you should really start packing because we leave tomorrow at six in the morning,” Luke said, an unexpected confidence in his tone..

“What? No, you two are kidding,” I argued, not believing them for a second.

They loved playing pranks on me and if this was their latest one, I had every intention of making them regret it.

“We aren’t. Completely serious. No pranks and no jokes,” Ashton said, his eyes lit up.

“For how long?” I asked, turning back to look at my calendar.

As much as I wanted to agree and let them sweep me away, I had lesson plans to prepare.

“Well, it’ll take us fourteen days to get there and then we’ll be at our final destination for three weeks,” Ashton said, moving his fingers as if he was counting midair.

“Es, we’ll get you back in time to prep for school. I promise,” Luke reassured, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders.

There was a calm that came over me with his touch. It made it impossible to not give into them.

“And what am I supposed to pack?” I asked, tilting my head back to look at Luke.

The smile that lit up his face met those ocean eyes and I was sold on whatever we were doing.

“Lots of summer clothes, some swimsuits, but also a couple things that are warmer for nights,” Luke said quietly, his fingers squeezing my shoulders.

“Well if I know where we’re going, I could pack properly,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

“Nope. That’s a secret. Now, remember what Luke said, but put some nicer clothes in there too,” Ashton said, giving me his thousand watt smile.

I rolled my eyes at him before looking back up at Luke. There was something in his eyes that made me melt into his touch even more.

“Get to packing little dove. We’ll see you bright and early tomorrow,” he said, giving my shoulders another squeeze.

The blush came across my body from the pet name. It didn’t matter how many times he called me that, it still caused the same reaction. Ashton came over and gave me a quick hug. It felt like I was still in a trance when I heard them close my apartment door.

“Shit,” I mumbled before going to my hall closet door.

I pulled out my biggest suitcase and dragged it to my bedroom. The sound of my closet doors echoed against the walls. My wardrobe was still being transitioned to summer, but I had most of what I would need or at least, I hoped. My eyes wandered over the clothes before I pulled out my phone.

E: Crys, what the hell am I supposed to pack?

My fingers ghosted over my favorite white top, fond memories coming to mind. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

C: Plenty of shorts, tees and tanks, at least three swimsuits, some sundresses, some skirts, coverups, sneakers, sandals, and like one hoodie/sweater.

E: Oh my god. I’m guessing you won’t tell me where we’re going either?

C: Nope. Under strict instructions not to.

E: Damn it. Okay. I guess I’ll get packing then.

I sighed before tossing my phone onto my bed. I took the top I had been touching off the hanger and gently placed it on my shoulder.

“Only like forty more to go,” I said, my hands falling to my hips before getting started.

                                                         ➢➢➢

The blaring sound of my alarm woke me from the peaceful slumber I was in. I hit the button and checked the time. The red numbers flashed five in the morning. I pushed myself from my bed and headed to the kitchen. My finger pushed the start button on my espresso machine after placing a mug underneath it. My feet carried me to the bathroom for the shower I desperately needed. After ten minutes, I stepped out and got dressed in my comfy clothes for the drive. I quickly put my hair into a fishtail braid and went back to the kitchen. I added milk and ice to finish my iced mocha. I glanced down to check my watch. 5:20 A.M. I went to the fridge and pulled out the vanilla greek yogurt. After chopping up a banana, I started eating as quickly as I could so I would be ready in time. I checked my watch again. 5:40 A.M. I cleaned my dishes and went to my front door. The suitcase and backpack that I packed last night already by the door. I pulled on my gold sandals and black wide brimmed hat. Just as I was clasping the last sandal, the buzzer sounded.

“Ready Es?” Ashton’s voice crackled over the speaker.

“Yep. Come on up,” I said, finger pressing to let him up.

The sun was starting to peek through the linen curtains. I cracked my door for Ash before walking over my balcony window. I snapped a quick picture, the calm of the view washing over me. There was a part of me that just wished I could stare at the sunrise for an infinite amount of time, before I was brought back to the world around me.

“Let’s go Es,” Ashton said from behind me.

I walked back over to him and grabbed my backpack.

“Still not telling me?” I asked while locking up.

“Nope,” he said, giving me a wink over the shoulder before heading down to the elevator.

We left my apartment building, a gray Range Rover idling by the curb when we walked out. Ashton hauled my suitcase into the back while I opened the door.

“Good morning little dove,” Luke said after I opened the door.

“Good morning giraffe,” I said, crawling in.

I found myself between the window and Luke with Calum on his other side. Ashton climbed into the single seat in the back.

“And we’re off!” Michael cheered from the driver’s seat.

Crystal cheered from the passenger seat to encourage him even though it was early. Her phone was hooked up to the aux, making her the DJ for the first portion of our trip.

“Mike and Crystal are driving until noon, then Cal and Ash will take over for three hours,” Luke said once we pulled away.

He was reading from a notebook that had different times written in it.

“Do I get to do any driving?” I asked, testing him.

His laugh rang in my ears before I saw his smile.

“Maybe later, but you don’t know where we’re going so you’re gonna have to wait,” he said, nudging my shoulder.

I groaned before looking out the window. California was passing by and it was hard to believe that I was really doing this with them. My ears caught the bassline of Move On by Mike Posner. My head bobbed along to the song before Calum and I looked at each other. We moved in sync with the bassline, both of us appreciating it for exactly what it was. I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up when Calum tried dancing along. Luke looked at us like we were crazy before joining us in the groove. I caught Ashton filming us and gave him a wink. We laughed once the song was over.

                                                          ➢➢➢

Time was flying by. Luke was driving and I had a sleeping Ashton on my shoulder, Crystal nodding off next to him. I still had no idea where we were headed, but now that it was dark, it was harder to tell anyways. No matter how hard I tried to get it out of everyone, they wouldn’t tell me. I knew we had been driving for awhile, but there was no indication for how much longer we were going to be. I caught Luke’s eye in the rearview mirror. It was simple, but it made everything I was feeling more complicated. I tried ignoring and figuring out how I felt about Luke so many times. Each time, I came up with no concrete answers. What it always came down to was that he was one of my best friends and to jeopardize that because of some feelings wasn’t something I would do. My thoughts faded away when I heard the guitar from I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly and Ed Sheeran. My eyes met brown this time, a strange feeling of understanding between me and Calum flooded my senses.

“It’s Crystal’s turn,” Calum said, breaking the moment between us.

Luke nodded.

“Let me find a gas station,” he said, eyes searching the signs to find one.

I adjusted a little so Ashton’s head wasn’t digging into my shoulder.

“Well, Estelle is my co-pilot because you lot keep hogging the passenger seat,” Crystal said, making me laugh.

“Ash,” I whispered, gently squeezing his shoulder.

“Essie?” he asked, eyes still closed.

“I have to get up,” I said, threading my fingers through his hair.

“But you make such a good pillow,” he almost whined.

“I know. You can use my pillow if you want,” I offered, smiling down at him.

There was a fondness I felt for Ash in that moment. He looked so young and stress free when he was asleep. I ran my fingers through his hair one more time. Luke pulled into the gas station parking lot.

“Coffee Es?” Crystal asked while opening the door.

“You know it,” I said, getting out of my seat.

I put my pillow in Ashton’s lap and pressed a quick kiss to his temple. Crystal and I were the only ones that went inside.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom quick,” I said, heading to the back of the store.

I passed a rack of postcards making me stop instantly. Colorado landscapes and greetings from Colorado were everywhere. I went to the bathroom quick and picked one out. I grabbed a few snacks before heading back to the car. I put the postcard on the dash.

“We’re in Colorado,” I said getting Luke and Crystal’s attention.

“Shit. Okay, yeah,” Luke said, sighing a little now that his surprise was ruined.

“Luke, just tell her,” Crystal said, adjusting the seat a bit.

“Okay okay. Currently, we’re heading to St. Louis,” he said, a hint of relief in his tone.

“And I’m guessing that isn’t our final destination,” I said, taking a sip of the coffee Crystal got me.

“Nope. We’re in St. Louis for two days and then we’re off to Myrtle Beach for three days,” he said trailing off.

It was one of the many things Luke did when he wanted to keep things a surprise that drove me insane.

“Keep going,” I encouraged.

“Then in New York for four days,” he continued, the same trailing off happening.

“And then?” I asked, fully aware that there was more.

“We’re gonna be in Cape Cod for three weeks,” he said.

The excitement rushed through me causing me to turn around to look at Luke.

“You mean my number one place to visit?” I asked, thinking that I was dreaming.

“Yeah,” he said, a smirk on his face.

“Oh my god, Luke, this better not be a prank,” I said, my words coming out fast while I stared at him.

“Not a prank. I promise,” he said, holding out his pinkie.

I linked mine with his, the touch heating my skin. I turned back around, a giant grin on my face.

“DJ, please hit me with some jams,” Crystal joked, aux cord in hand.

“Well of course,” I responded, taking it from her and plugging my phone in.

It took me a moment before I found a song that fit the mood I was in. King Of the Clouds by Panic! At the Disco played through the speakers. I let the song wash over me, the words and vocals taking me away.

“I wanted to tell you when you texted yesterday, but Luke and Ash really wanted it to be a surprise,” Crystal said, bringing me back to reality.

“I’m glad it was a surprise though. It makes it that much better,” I said, unable to stop smiling.

“Look at them,” she whispered, turning the music down.

I looked in the rearview to see all of the boys asleep. Ashton had my pillow pressed against the window in the single seat while Luke, Calum, and Michael were lying on each other, their heads crooked into each other in different ways.

“They’ve gotta be used to sleeping in cars by now,” I said, looking over at her.

“You would think, but I know Mikey still struggles with falling asleep in cars. He always needs adjustment when he comes back,” she said, pushing her hair back.

“So does Luke. He usually stays at mine or makes me stay at his when he gets back because he hates being alone after tours,” I said, a small smile coming across my face.

“You sure that’s not because Luke has a thing for you?” she asked, taking me by surprise.

“What? Luke doesn’t have a thing for me,” I dismissed, waving my hand at her.

My heart had picked up when she said it, but I had to push it away.

“Estelle, you’re joking right? I’ve known that boy for awhile now. I’ve seen him go through love and heartbreak. I know when he’s into someone,” she said, her eyes glancing over at me.

“Crystal, I’m telling you, he isn’t into me. We’re best friends and that’s it. That’s all we are now and all we’re ever going to be,” I said, a hint of frustration in my voice.

I had already convinced myself of this. As much as I wanted to believe Crystal, I couldn’t. That road lead to far more hope and rejection than I was able to handle.

“But the way he looks at you-”

“He looks at me like he’s always looked at me. Besides, if he did, the feelings wouldn’t be mutual,” I lied.

The words felt like they were burning my tongue as I said them. I turned to look out the window, my head full of daydreams that the smallest part of me wished would come true.

                                                        ➢➢➢

“Okay Ash, overnight shift,” Calum said after pulling into a gas station.

Calum’s voice woke me up, causing me to move my head off of Luke’s shoulder.

“Who’s my co-pilot?” he asked while getting out of the car.

“I’ll do it Ash,” I said, tying my hair into a loose bun.

“Essie, you were asleep,” he argued, staring at me.

“I’m awake now. Give me a coffee and I’ll be good,” I said getting out of the car.

“Fine. Let’s go get some snack too. It’s you and me for six hours so we should stock up,” he said, leading me into the gas station.

“I’ll get snacks. You get refreshments,” I said before we high fived and split up.

I grabbed chips, granola bars, some candy, and a couple sandwiches. Ash and I met at the counter, his arms full of drinks. He grabbed plenty of flavored water for me and soda for himself.

“I’m grabbing two coffees quick,” he said to the cashier.

He ran back and gave the short brunette the thousand watt smile. She blushed under his gaze. We took the bags from her and went back to the car.

“You are ridiculous,” I said while we settled in the car.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he laughed.

“Oh please. You flirt with everything that has a pulse,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Excuse you, but that’s Luke. I didn’t mean to flirt with her, but she was cute,” Ashton said, laughing again before pulling away from the gas station.

“You’re right, Luke does do that a lot,” I said, picking up my phone.

“Is that some jealousy I’m hearing?” he teased.

“No,” I said, hitting play on Nintendo Game by Alessia Cara.

“I’m kidding Essie,” he said.

“Yeah I know. Why did you guys pick Cape Cod?” I asked, taking the subject off me and Luke.

I opened a bag of cheddar sour cream chips and took a sip of the coffee Ashton got me. The bittersweetness ran over my tongue, just the way I liked it. Ashton always made sure the coffee he got me tasted just right.

“Well, I was personally tired of the same California beaches every summer and Cal wanted some place that was warm, but still pretty chill. Luke pitched Cape Cod and we all agreed,” he said with a shrug.

He made it sound so simple and easy, like it was just a walk in the park for them. Then again, the boys were always like this and it was always an adjustment at first, but I had found myself getting used to it.

“Who’s idea was it to bring me?” I asked, quickly eating a chip so he wouldn’t sense the nerves I had about the situation.

“Luke’s. He remembered how badly you wanted to go,” Ashton said like it was obvious.

“Yeah. It’s been my number one since high school,” I said quietly.

“I don’t get why you never went,” he said, taking a swig of his cream soda.

“My parents never wanted to and then during college, I just never got the chance or there wasn’t time. Now, yeah my career allows for vacation, but I didn’t think anyone would want to go,” I said shrugging it off.

“Well now you got us,” Ashton said giving me a smile.

“Yeah I do,” I said returning the smile.

                                                          ➢➢➢

“Ash, your shift is over. You two need some sleep,” Luke called from the back.

Ashton got off at the next exit. Despite my best efforts, I was exhausted. I climbed into the middle seat while Luke and Crystal took over. Ashton climbed in next to me.

“Get some sleep Essie,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my temple.

I adjusted slightly until my head was on Ashton’s shoulder. A nudging woke me up a few hours later. I slowly sat up, my eyes adjusting to the new light.

“Welcome to St. Louis little dove,” Luke said, our eyes meeting in the rearview yet again.

I looked out the window immediately. A gasp escaped my mouth as I took in the view. There was water shining in the sun and the big arch took over the sky. Brick buildings and greenery were everywhere. It was absolutely breathtaking and one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Luke parked in front of a brick building with two arches framing the doors.

“We’re here,” he said, eyes gleaming as he looked at the building.

“This is where we’re staying?” I asked while following everyone else’s lead at getting out.

“Yeah,” Ashton said handing me my suitcase.

We walked into the condo, the white walls taking me by surprise.

“Luke and I will take the double beds,” Ashton said.

I stopped in front of a single room with a gorgeous view of the city. I could see the water from the window and there was something about the way the arch was reflecting on it that made me smile.

“Estelle’s got this one!” Luke called after following Ashton.

I slowly walked into it, my breath gone again.

“Well, I guess this is real now,” I whispered, my fingers ghosting over the soft bed sheets.

It had felt like a dream until this moment, but everything about it still felt like I needed to be pinched. If it was all a dream, I never wanted to wake up.

Let me know if you want more and want to be added to the taglist. 

taglist loves: @thruheavenandhighwater @notoriouslyhood @24kcalum @bbycal @cashton-queen @thebookamongmen @tommossoccer @slimthicccal @a-little-international @irwinsx

[fuck-customers]

Had to apologize to a 14 year old in front of the whole store for telling him to pick up his trash

TW: caps So i had just finished picking up silly string someone sprayed everywhere, 80% sure it’s the only kid in here. Im cleaning and he threw a package on the ground, and starts using the head massager!!!!! (And treating this store like a playground but whatever) So I’m like, uh hey are you buying that? And he hesitates and says uh...yeah.. so I said well your gonna need this back then and hand the trash back to him (Don’t @ me I know it was kinda petty but ppl get angrier when I straight up ask them to pick it up.) Later a lady approaches me all huffy, and I just know exactly what she’s gonna say. “Did you talk to my kid?” “Uh, yeah.” “You didn’t have to be so rude! You should have come to ME and come to get me!” She gets way too aggressive which just makes me shake but I also know I’m right and she’s a crazy helicopter parent and she asked why so I’m like, “your kid threw trash on the floor” “You should have told ME! I don’t care that he littered!ME!” FIRST OF ALL LADY he’s been in here quite awhile! I have not seen you once near him! I know parents who send their TEN YEAR OLDS in here alone! I could be alone And dropped off at 14! I’m not going to go, is your mom here young man I need to find your mom so I can tell her to tell you to pick up trash. 🙄 My minds a little fuzzy on exactly went down bc I was so stressed out and genuinely surprised at this reasoning. She keeps insulting me, I keep trying to walk away as I’m like, okay ma’am. Okay ma’am. WhAt she said that pushed me over the edge to turn around and counter her I don’t even remember. Being pecked at like that nonstop just triggers something in me from my childhood. Starts demanding I apologize to her son. I was like, because i insinuated he pick his trash up and not play with stuff and contaminate it he’s not buying? Haha no! And so she does the whole, I’m speaking to ur manager! So I said okay fine do it already oh my god Instead of speaking to my manager she just starts insulting me in front of her and in front of my coworkers and other customers. Does my big pet peeve of “you aren’t a parent so you don’t know what it’s like! You can’t tell me how to parent!” And she says I have the brain of a 5 year old, my parents didn’t raise me right (like is she even hearing herself?) I shouldn’t have a job, and all this other demeaning stuff. Manager just wants me to apologize so she can leave. So I get petty and I’m like fine I’ll apologize :) and I tell the kid “sorry I told you to pick up ur trash” and the mom says thank you? Like I was being serious? But i realized I was only exasperating the situation and dragging it on after I stopped seeing red Either way she leaves, my manager apologizes, gives her a freaking survey to fill out about me like she wasn’t the one attacking me but whatever I know she had to apologize but a survey? 🙄 panic attack makes me lose feeling in my arm. I say, maybe I shouldn’t have talked back (more like defended myself but whatever) And my manager just said “Nah she’s a b—. “ And agreed with me. So at least My coworkers agree she went way too far. Even though no one stood up for me. Not looking forward to being reprimanded but tbh I’ve been tired of this place for a long time and pushed around enough to be okay with being fired. What a great lesson for him. Mommy will bail me out and protect me, I can do what I want. Ugh.

[kissydolans]

the boys forget your birthday- dating Grayson imagine.

NOTE: hope you guys like this, if you’re interested in a part two PLEASE let me know :) my requests are open. xo

Warnings: cursing, pg-13 smut nothing detailed.

“ughhhhh” an annoying buzzing sound wakes you up and you know even before you open your eyes that it’s coming from your phone

“hello?” you say still not having opened your eyes

“happy birthday y/n!”

“haha thank you mom. Though i would’ve liked to sleep in as a present”

“sleeping in on your birthday is overrated; there’s too much celebrating to do!” you smile at her optimism this early in the morning, but your mom had always been a morning person- a trait that was not passed to you. “so did i make the cut? was i the first person to wish you a happy birthday?”

“well seeing as how you woke me up, yes you were” you sit up and decide to be awake

“Get up and call Grayson, i’m sure he was waiting for you to call first so he wouldn't wake you up.”

“you’re probably right because he actually loves me.” you say jokingly

“oh honey, i love you too, he’s just nicer than i am. we still have plans this weekend to celebrate right?”

“absolutely mom, love you”

“love you too, honey. happy birthday”

“thank you, bye mom see u saturday”

Birthdays stopped meaning something to you a few years ago but your mom always loved birthdays and tried to make them special, you don't know why you stopped liking them, it was kind of something that just happened after awhile. you didn't dislike your birthday it just wasn't something you expected much from.

feeling awake you decide your mom was right and call Gray

“Good morning babe!” he answers slightly out of breath. You can tell by the way he’s breathing and the noise in the background that he was working out.

“Morning!” you give it a few seconds of silence before you realize he’s not going to say anything else and it’s technically your turn, plus, you called him. “well, uh, i just wanted to say good morning, i know you’re busy so i’ll let you go.”

“ ok baby, i’ll text you in a bit?” he said it like a question, you tried not to overthink that.

“yeah of course. i’ll be here”

“ok, love you. bye” and the call ends. “bye”

you try not to be disappointed because you’re the one that doesn't make your birthday a big deal but this was your first birthday while dating Gray. Last year when you and Gray and Ethan were all just friends they had a big party at their house and it was great. They had a cake and they didn’t push you into the center of attenion. It was just a good time with everyone; it was exactly what you could ask for. Gray and Ethan love birthdays so you were surprised he hadn't said anything. Your mom had invited both Gray and Ethan to her house for dinner this weekend for your family birthday celebration just this past weekend and they had both agreed to come.

your morning went by fast from showering and getting ready deciding on a cute outfit incase you decide to go out but it was secretly because you were hoping Gray did remember and you wouldn't have to change when you go out.

you decide to go out to the kitchen and see a ‘it is your birthday.” banner that you and your roommate always used when it was either of your birthdays because the office was always something you watched together. it made u smile and you snapped her a pic and captioned it with a heart so she knew you had seen it. she snapped u back almost immediately in her work uniform and a cheeky smile on her face captioned ‘check the microwave’. Chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite. you ate in glee and checked the time on your phone. it had been almost 2 hours since your phone call with Gray and he hadn't texted or anything. you swallowed your disappointment but decided to continue your morning like it was any other day. After a couple hours of watching tv and obsessively checking your phone you got a snap from Ethan and opened it. “come over when u get up and come hang out with me, Gray isn't here and I'm bored, plus i have something for you”. You smiled to yourself as you grabbed your keys and ran out the door.

your mind raced as you drove over there, maybe Gray did remember and he and Ethan were going to surprise you, or, at least, Ethan remembered. He was one of your best friends after all.

When you got there you went ahead and walked in, the boys would always give you shit whenever you knocked.

“E?” you yell in the unusually quiet house

“NO! FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? FOURTH?! I WAS SO CLOSE!”

you rolled your eyes and smiled, you knew exactly were that was coming from

“fortnite? why am i even surprised. did u even go to bed last night?”

“okay mom.” he replied and you mocked him and stuck out ur tongue back at him.

“your room is filthy” you say looking around at the laundry and water bottles literally everywhere

“ugh u sound like Grayson” he said laying back on his bed and u sat on the foot of it.

“yeah were is he anyway?” you asked, realizing that gray really wasn't there.

he shrugged his shoulders “he went to work out this morning and said something about meeting up with Bryant but other than that i have no idea.”

“hmm”

“i need to get out” he said sitting up before continuing “do u wanna go get lunch or something?”

“yeah sure that sounds really good, i haven't ate since this morning. April went all out and made pancakes” you said hoping he’d take a hint.

he didn't catch on “okay i’ll drive because u drive like a tiny old woman and i would like to get lunch before dinner.”

“choke” u said jokingly, squinting your eyes at him while he laughed back at you.

“before we go, you said u had something for me? did i forget something or..?” you were trying to play coy but once again Ethan didn't catch on.

“yeah actually-” he reached over and grabbed a yellow sweatshirt from the nightstand next to him “-gray said you accidentally left this here and if u came over, to give it to you because you would want it back.”.

you took it from him “oh, right, uhh thanks” you said a little let down.

“no big, lets go.” he said getting up and walking out.

lunch with ethan was nice, but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. you guys did this pretty regularly. after your quick trip he decided he was going to take a nap before Gray got home. you considered staying there, maybe taking a nap in grays bed or something but you started to get upset. Ethan and Grayson were your best friends and neither of them remembered your birthday. Grayson was your boyfriend and he didn't remember. you decided to just go home and take a bath. you tried to get in a better mood but it didn't work, you were mad at yourself for being mad and you were mad at the boys for forgetting. your phone buzzed.

‘hey babe sorry we haven't talked much today, no real excuse just planning a shoot with Bryant for the new merch. maybe I can come over later ;)’ the text was sweet enough but it just left u disappointed. you decided not to answer for now and put in your earbuds and started to clean the apartment, for whatever reason, cleaning was distracting for you. and time consuming. by the time u had finished the sun was down and the stir fry you had made for dinner was done. your stomach was in knots and you decided not to eat but you texted your roommate that you had made dinner and it was in the fridge for her when she got off. you decided to sleep it off deciding that you just wanted the day to be over. it was a bit earlier than you usually went to bed but today that was fine with you.

April beelined her way straight to the fridge when she got home from work- not even bothering to warm up the stir fry before starting to eat. She was surprised that you had been home to make it in the first place. The apartment was silent when she got home so she assumed y/n was out with Grayson. She saw your yellow sweatshirt on the counter and decided to throw it on your bed for you because she knew it was the one that she liked to wear to bed because you always said it smelled like Grayson. when she got into your room she was shocked that you were in there asleep, not only that, but you were alone.

“Ape?” came a tired voice from a mound of blankets

“Hey birthday girl! sorry i didn't know you were home, i was just gonna leave out your sweatshirt for when you came home”

“ ’s okay” y/n said sleepily.

“why are u home? its only like 8:30 i figured you’d be out and stuff? Where’s Grayson? Did you guys get in a fight?”

“not really”

“not really?”

“he forgot”

“he forgot what?” her eyes widened in realization “HE FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!?”

“yeah, can we just talk in the morning? i just want to go to bed. thank you for my pancakes” you yawned

“yeah in the morning”

“mkay” you said already falling back asleep

April walked out and closed the door “im gonna kill him” she said to no one in particular already pulling out her phone.

Grayson decided to head over to y/n’s. April had sent him a weird text telling him to come over because he had forgotten something. Y/n still hadn't texted him back from earlier but he assumed that she had just forgotten or maybe something had happened to her phone since April was the one telling him to come over.

A wave of nausea froze his chest whenever he walked into the apartment and saw the banner.

“oh fuck”

April was sitting at the counter on her laptop when he walked in “yep.” she replied cooly “she's asleep in case you were wondering”

“i knew- i knew i was forgetting something today. I thought maybe i had a training session this morning or that i had made plans with Bryant or something. i knew it. FUCK! DAMMIT!” he yelled, practically pulling out his hair. he couldn't forgive himself for this. his beautiful girlfriend had spent her birthday all alone because he had forgotten her birthday. he felt so awful he could cry.

“did u not just hear me say she was asleep?” april hissed then rolled her eyes and sighed, deciding to take pity on him because he looked genuinely sad.

“i’m not the one you need to explain to.” she said taking a kinder tone

he ran a hand through his hair and practically ran to her room

she was asleep just like April said, her hair almost entirely covering her face but Gray could tell she looked sad. Grayson wanted to evaporate, but mostly he wanted her to be in his arms, he wanted a whole do over on this day. another wave of nausea hit him when he saw that she wasn't wearing his sweatshirt that she always wore to bed, she must be really mad at him, he felt the tears well up in his eyes and he walked over to the bed.

You woke up to someone lightly brushing your hair away from your face. You knew it was Grayson, it was something he did all the time to wake you up.

“Gray?”

“it’s me”

“hi”

“hi baby”

“it was my birthday today” you don't know why you decided to tell him, the day was almost over and it didn't really matter now, but you wanted him to know all the same. most of your anger had faded in your sleep just like you had hoped but you still felt a bit sad.

“i know baby” you could hear the sadness and guilt in his voice

“you do?” you yawned. “april,  she-“ he decided not to explain “y/n, i am so sorry i am so so sorry”. “its okay” you pulled him closer as he sat down on the bed, he was warm and he smelled good and you looked up at him and realized he was on the verge of crying.

“it’s not okay, i forgot . i just forgot?! how could i forget? it was your birthday. and you didn't wear the sweatshirt and i know you’re mad at me and I'm so- I'm so sorry”

you sat up and wiped Gray’s eyes “i was mad, i-i’m not anymore. I didn't not wear it on purpose, i was just tired. and now I'm freezing. Could you pass it to me?”

he hopped up quickly and passed it to you at watched you strip from your shirt and put the sweatshirt on and pull your hair back. it made him feel better, but only slightly.

“baby please come home with me, we can sleep in my bed and watch a movie. i could make us dinner or we could still go out? its only about 9:30 and this is LA things will be open for awhile!” he was rambling already grabbing for his phone. you walked over to him pulling him into a hug. he relaxed into you and rested his chin on your head “ i love you” he breathed just hoping you’d say it back. “i love you gray” you replied with no hesitation. He leaned back to look you in the eye and he kissed you gently and quickly “i’m so sorry”. “i know” you put your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss you deepening it this time, you had missed him today. His hair was soft and his lips tasted like peppermint. you pulled him to the bed with you and he layed on his back and you rested your head on his chest like you always did. “let’s just sleep here tonight, we can think about the rest tomorrow.” he nodded and softly rubbed your back and kissed your forehead, you both fell asleep quickly.

the next day Grayson woke you up with a breakfast he made ‘all by himself’  to which April yelled from the kitchen ‘LIAR!’, “ignore her she’s slowly losing her mind, it’s really sad” he joked and you smiled back taking the plate, and he leaned down to kiss you which you happily returned. “Baby i just wanted-“ “Gray you don’t have to apologize again. i know you’re sorry i forgive you.” you said, and you meant it. You knew Grayson loved you, and you were a little embarrassed of how angry you had gotten even after claiming that you didn’t care about your birthday. He looked at you in such a loving way that it gave you butterflies you wished would stay forever. he sat on the bed and urged you to eat while the food was hot, you happily obliged. “i know that you don’t care about your birthday but i do, i love birthdays, you know me! And i love you i want you to have a great day everyday but your birthday is supposed to be special and i just- i fucked up. Even though u forgive me i did fuck up. and i want to fix it.”

you wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do anything but your mouth was full, you went to cover your mouth to speak anyway but you were interrupted “no talking with your mouth full you’ll choke. We’re doing this today, no excuses. you smiled and swallowed. “ok bossy what’s on the agenda first today, then?” he smiled at you but it quickly changed into a naughty lip bite and he wiggled his eyebrows and you felt your core begin to warm. “i was thinking-“ he paused to take your plate and put it on the nightstand behind him before climbing on all fours to hover above you, your faces almost touching. “-i could fuck you, right here until your toes curl and you lose your voice screaming my name” it was barely a whisper and your faces were almost touching. you forgot how to breathe. “Or-” he said rolling off of you, your throat immediately betraying you by softly whining. He laid on his back next to you, smiling and put it hands behind his head to look up at the ceiling “we could go mess with E and tell him what a bad friend he is for forgetting your birthday.”. You immediately climb on top of him, straddling him, stripping off the sweatshirt to bare your chest, catching him completely off guard. You smiled to yourself and leaned down to whisper in his ear “What would you rather do?”. You kissed down his jawline to his adams apple and looked up at his shocked face that immediately spread into your favorite smirk. He grabbed you flipped you over so he was back on top. 

There was no need for him to answer.

[bigskydreaming]

Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids. 

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’. 

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids. 

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever. 

And he’s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way. 

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

[chelinka93]

Building a Nest - Hello, my Name is... - Part 1

Ugh, not happy with this one, its been ages since I’ve done a PoV swap so im... ehhhh... Hope I was able to do Ochaco at least some justice though.

Ochaco Uraraka liked to think she was made of sterner stuff.

Since she was little she had the dream of becoming a hero to help her parents, if she was a popular hero both them and her would could leave their financial troubles behind and they could live a good, easy life.

But before all that, she had to actually become a hero first.

And the best way to do that?

UA.

Since middle school she had kicked it in high gear; training every day to get in shape, both physically and quirk wise. If she wasn’t training, she was nose deep in her books because UA was no slouch when it came to academics either and she needed to be on her toes to excel.

So both mind and body being trained there was the third, and most daunting obstacle: money.

Her parents insisted that if she wanted to go to UA they could pay for it, but she saw that the bags under their eyes got a bit darker during her junior high years.

They were working hard so she could pursue her dream.

She wasn’t going to let them do all the work, this was her dream, she was going to help make a reality any way she could.

So she began to cut back.

She still ate of course, limiting her food intake would only make her weaker and worry her parents, something she really wanted to avoid if she could. She cut back in small ways: having the lights off for as long as she could and refusing to turn up the heat until she had to in order to save on the bills. Reusing old notebooks that were almost full already, (no point in wasting paper!) keeping careful track of her pens and pencils so she wouldn’t have to buy new ones when she lost them. Small things here and there. But the biggest she could do?

The shopping.

Her parents worked so hard, and often late. So Ochaco took it upon herself to do the shopping whenever she could. She did her best to learn what was a good deal and what wasn’t, trying her best to make sure she could save whenever she could.

It was a little hard but now looking back, she considered it all worth it.

She got into UA.

She could afford to go to UA.

She would have to move though, her home with her parents was just too far away to make the commute each day. Something that made both her and her parents sad to think about.

But…

She got into UA!

Departure aside, she was ecstatic and so were parents! They even threw her a ‘Going Away to UA’ party.

And it was a great party.

Even though there were some tears mixed in with the laughter.

So with much excitement, she jumped feet first into her life as UA student. The first day was a little out there; who just has a quirk assessment test with the threat of expulsion throw in there?! (her new home room teacher, apparently.) She did her best to get into it; she’d worked hard for this and wasn’t about to let a second go by and not be thankful for it.

She made friends too! There weren’t many girls in 1A, seven in total including herself, but they all bonded quickly and she was thrilled to be friends with them. She enjoyed hanging out with all of them but she found that she talked most to Mariska (though she said she was okay with Mari).

She found out that Mariska lived on her own like her, so it became a common topic between the two of them to talk about all the ups and downs of living alone and any tricks the other might have learned to make it easier. It was generally simple things like how often one should do laundry, was it a good idea to hide a spare key in case you got locked out, the sort of little things like that.

Then one day, they got into the topic of shopping and Ochaco launched into all the things she learned and when Mari asked where she learned these things, seemed to be impressed that Ochaco taught herself mostly.

“That’s amazing! I tried to learn myself actually but it didn’t work out that way.”

Ochaco furrowed her brow, confused. Does she just order her groceries online? pay someone do it? She asked but Mariska just snorted.

“No, I picked up a shopping teacher, a rather unwilling one at first though.”

“A… Shopping teacher?” Ochaco asked confused again. That was a thing?

Mariska grinned and launched into a tale about one day trying to do her shopping, minding her own business when suddenly a snarky, grumpy looking woman told her she was doing it wrong. And even after the shopping was done, they still met up again and decided (with Mariska’s instance) that it become a regular event.

Mariska told the story with fondness (and more then a slight bit of exasperation in a lot of parts) and Ochaco was both curious about Mariska’s shopping friend, who’s name was Varis apparently, and slightly wary. Mariska didn’t sugar coat Varis’ language and the image Ochaco got of this woman was more then a little scary.

As she thought about Mariska’s possibly (probably) terrifying teacher, she didn’t notice the smirk that had bloomed on Mariska’s face.

“You should come with me next time!”

“Huh?”

“Come with next time I go shopping! I’ll introduce you and you can learn from her too!”

“Well, I don’t want to intrude, this seems like a personal thing. And from what you’ve told me of her, Varis might not like have more people around.”

At this, the smirk grew wider and Ochaco was not ashamed to admit she was kinda worried.

“True, but she owes me! She’ll grumble and probably try to intimate you but she’ll get over it.”

Ochaco hesitated slightly. The fact that Mariska easily admitted that this Varis would openly try to intimidate her did nothing but confirm further her second hand impression that this woman was scary.

She shook her self mentally, what was she thinking? She had gotten this far hadn’t she? Shed made it to UA and was in class 1A! the forerunner in terms of future heroes! She was made of sterner stuff then this! she had a chance to not only spend more time with her new friend but also the opportunity to learn how to shop even more effectively and save more money for her parents.

When she put it that way, it sounded pretty fun actually!

“Well, if its okay with you, I’d love to!”

Mariska beamed, clearly happy that she had agreed to come and faced with that bright smile, Ochaco found herself smiling again too as they both gathered their things and headed out to the train station.

‘Yeah! I’m sure I’m jumping to conclusions about this Varis lady, I’m sure she’s perfectly nice!’

“So you are you gonna let her know I’m coming?”

“I could, but just thinking of the scowl on her face when we show up together is far too good to pass up.”

‘…At least I hope she’s nice.’

 ‘Nice’ it turns out, was not the word to describe Varis in the slightest.

She’d met Mariska at the station near the store she told Ochaco about. and for awhile, the two of them chatted happily about this and that as that as they made their way to the store where Ochaco would get to meet this Varis Mari had talked about.

…the one who didn’t even know she was tagging along.

She did her best to contain her nerves as they made their way inside but her nerves quickly came to a front when she actually caught sight of Varis.

Mariska called her name and a woman near the rice turned, a slight expression of amusement on her face as Mariska made her way toward her with Ochaco in tow.

That expression quickly turned into annoyance when she caught sight of Ochaco.

‘Mari forgot to mention how tall she is.’ Ochaco thought faintly as she tried not squirm as the woman examined her almost like a bug under a microscope. She felt Mari’s arm wrap around her shoulders as she introduced her to her mentor of sorts. Said mentor continuing to unabashedly size her up and Ochaco couldn’t help but stare back.

Tall, gray hair cut in a pixie cut, and she had her sleeves rolled up to her elbows so Ochaco could see toned arms as well.

‘she looks she beat us both up and not even break a sweat.’

Her apparent panic got even worse when Varis casually threw out that she had expect worse for the death threat.

‘A DEATH THREAT?!’ Ochaco began to seriously consider her routes of escape for Mari and her but Mari didn’t even seem phased, even jokingly correcting her on her wording!

She was just thinking she should try to edge toward that particularly heave bag of rice to try to use it as a weapon, when the next words from Mari stopped her.

“She did say those things yes, but she was only worried about me. and when she didn’t get the reaction she wanted, she pouted and stole my newspaper in a tantrum.”

‘…What…?’

Varis seemed to notice Ochaco’s turn of emotions and quickly the menacing aura she felt was gone and this woman, who she had been rather terrified of a minute ago, was now openly pouting.

Ochaco was confused to say the least but wasn’t given time to really think about it when said pouting woman spoke again, this time to her:

“So kid, whatcha know about properly shopping?”

 Ochaco’s head was swimming with new information. While she thought she was a decent shopper Varis had simply listened quietly as she talked about what she knew and was silent for a moment after she finished talking before saying:

“Not bad, for a beginner.”

Nothing more after that, she just spun her cart around and began walking toward the next isle expecting Mari and her to follow.

After that it was a lesson in each isle; Varis explaining certain tricks and explaining ‘traps’ (anything she considered to be a waste of money, usually always something with a sales sticker next to it) that many a shopper fell for. She was curt when Mari or Ochaco asked her anything but didn’t belittle them for it.

“What if I like this brand better?”

“Then cough up the yen to get the biggest tin of it so it last longer.”

Ochaco learned a lot. Which she was kind of thrilled about it, anything to help save money for her parents.

She also learned a bit about Varis too.

While rather curt and blunt with Mari and her, Mari seemed to enjoy the barbed exchange. Often even teasing Varis when she got vehement over certain things.

Like protecting her choice of snacks from Mari.

“I don’t care what you think, brat, I like em and Im gonna get em!”

“I can’t believe you still stomach that crap!”

“I like what I like, stubborn brattling!”

“Stubborn American!” Mari puffed up, and seemed to about ready to go into a rant before Varis leaned over to flick her on the forehead.

“Id rather you not throw one of your Spanish tantrums, especially in front of your friend.” Varis said before leveling a pointed look in Ochaco’s direction.

Realizing that she was being put on the spot, Ochaco tried to think of something.

“O-oh! Weren’t you saying earlier something about a big order for cupcakes coming in at work, Mari? How’s that coming along?”

Looking briefly at Varis, as if attempting to glare holes in the woman, Mari conceded this change of topic and started talking animatedly about a ridiculous number of cupcakes ordered for an equally ridiculous reason.

Relived that the distraction had worked, Ochaco went along with it, listening and chatting with Mari about the idiocies of people with far to much money and time on their hands willing to throw a party for a quarterversiry (whatever that was).

When she looked up briefly, she could have sworn Varis winked at her.

 After that, things were quiet until Mari had to run ahead and grab something she forgot. Leaving Ochaco alone with Varis.

Before she could even think of what to say, (should she say something? or would she prefer silence?) Varis beat her to it.

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Earlier, little bird gets in such a snit every time I try to buy any sort of processed baked good, especially snack cakes. It was nice to avoid it this time.”

“Your welcome!” To her horror, her voice squeaked, but Varis didn’t seem to notice as she turned toward her.

“Try to keep your footing with her, hmm? She’s a bit of a whirlwind, try not to let her sweep you away too easily.”

“Uh, I’ll do my best!” She replied, not real sure what say.

“Good on ya kid.”

For a split second, Ochaco thought she saw an actual smile on Varis’ face.

But as soon as it appeared, it vanished just as quickly as Varis began to move forward to meet a grinning Mari, returning triumphantly with item in hand.

No, nice wasn’t the word Ochaco would use to describe Varis.

She tried to smother a giggle as Varis lightly bopped Mari on the head for something.

‘She’s grumpy for sure’ she thinks

‘but…’

‘also a good person’

This was suppose to be short, but apparently Ochaco had a lot to say.

So here we go! its the start of a new Arc, per say. This one I’m going to focus primary on introducing more of the MHA cast. Mostly from Varis’ point of view, but I may switch it up to another PoV if I’m feeling bold. and as always, thanks to @bnha-love-imagines (who’s a v good bean, the sweetest bean) for letting me use her BB Mari, who’s a little shit this time.

And because I love this part, have a preview of the next chapter:

‘This is it, I am in hell. It must be the reason for this.’

One child is already enough, the second one is alright because shes not an ass like the first... but she thought she made her dislike of more tag alongs clear!

...Apparently not because two is now three.

“You seem to be thinking awful hard about something.”

“What I’m thinking is whether or not i should pin you down and smother you with that bag of peanuts!”

[bobcathoneybee]

i think i already knew. i just wonder when it started. a bunch of other questions came to mind after we hung up. but of course he’s not going to share details, and wasn’t sure if i wanted to know, but i had a feeling, esp after the NYE plans comment. i also noticed that he has this look on his face in one of the screen grabs. like one of those fleeting subconscious facial expressions that came to the surface for just a little bit. easier to read with screenshots. 

keep personal finances to self; anything with money to self really. that’s key. many ppl can come out of the woodwork if they know too much. 

pls be safe. you know how a lot of ppl are with... being/claiming they’re being “safe”

-----

-is that my scarf (that i got you)? YES! i wore it on sunday, but you didn’t notice. how were the cookies? the strawberry one was really good, what was the other one, wasn’t sure what it was bc the flavor was a little light.

in no particular order, as i was about to get off the phone to finish dinner. and no wonder he didn’t immediately go to the microwave when the food was initially heated through.

-i wanted to talk to you about something. it’s not something we’ve really discussed after we broke up so i’m not sure how you would feel about it. im sort of seeing someone.i didnt know if you wanted to know or if you didnt want to know or how this would affect our friendship. what i wrote in the card is true. you’re my best friend and the best person in my life. what about gio?! i duno what to do with him, he even moved down to florida!

-we’ve always worked so well together. you get me. you’re the only one i still talk to as often as i do. *thinking (until she replaces me). that’s bc you’re the grumpier version of me! LOL i guess that is true

-i think i sort of knew tho, especially after you made the comment about not having to tell me anything when i asked (about the friend group it was), like whoa okay i’ll back off...was not expecting that reaction from you. yeah i realized that i probably should tell you

-i dont talk to any of them like that, we’re also not as close and i dont keep in contact with them, one bc shes married and that would be weird. I didnt speak to her much after we broke up. didn’t you wish each other happy birthdays and holidays stuff? they let you know they’re moving or their sister got married, the major life events? yeah

-after this past year, my intent was to eventually get back together. what i want to know if that’s even a possibility (or if that door is completed closed). i think there could be a possibility, but i dont want that to prevent you from seeing other ppl and figuring out what you want. 

-look, i’m probably going to be alone at 65 okay? don’t you think you’re just making it a self-fulfilling prophecy? yes, but still. 

-you dont even like people! i know! you dont know how exhilarating it is to just shut off your phone for the weekend and not talk to anyone. yeah, but now you’re going to make time for her. *pause, that’s true

-i didn’t want to feel guilty about not telling you and not being upfront about it. i respect you too much not to give you a heads up. i want us to meet ppl and figure out what we want or dont want. i dont know if this is going to go anywhere; it’s been slow-moving but i wanted to let you know. 

-i wasn’t sure if i wanted to tell you bc i didn’t want to see you cry. 

-you know you would say things like i’ll stop smoking WHEN i have kids (not if, when). i know i had to work through that myself too (about not having kids or getting married). i know but with all the weddings and kids the last few years... i think you needed to figure out what you wanted.

-it’s actually kinda hard dating (her) sometimes, it’s not the same. bc you can’t have chicken feet around her? LOL yes

-you just understand me so well. but i also dont want you to think i was using you to help me with measurement plans (for pitches) LOL. (this kid helps me with so much too.)

-you introduced me to new things all the time! you didn’t even like going to these places. i always grumble bc we have to leave the house but i still go when you suggest new places to check out (bc theyre usually always good!)

-i thought you were dating already. huh how do you mean? from the boat noodles comment. when i asked you about how you heard about it, you said some guy. LOL oh it’s bc i didnt know what it was and wanted to know if you knew/had it before. so did you go get it? no! it’s in astoria, why would i go to astoria?! was he asian? yes. it was one date. they’re so good! i shouldve had my mom make you some (when we were still dating) *side eye lollll sheeesh i tacked on that date with another appt i had in the city and it was on the way home! OH 

-in case you’re on a date and such, i wouldn’t want to be calling you all the time. lollll my dates are probably on weekends, when you dont talk to me... oh that’s true

-how did you guys meet? app? NO i would never put my pictures up there. okay i’m assuming neighbor friend during one of your brunch gatherings. (assuming she’s brunch girl as nickname or something brunch related). don’t you have friends (who can introduce you to ppl)? NO everyone has a SO and we don’t go out bc covid, we’re on apps! it’s just A LOT of talking. i’m literally trying to pick the best of the bunch at this point. ah i was afraid you’d say that (picking among the bunch)

-ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE KNIVES! (superstition) OMG YES IT DOES. i purchased a knife set for jacob back then too bc his knives sucked and look what happened! LOL do you replace his actual name with jacob now? YES bc it’s funnier!

-you just need to lower your standards back down bc i’m the anomaly in your dataset! i’m wayyy up there at 1000, but the norm/avg is prob way down there so you’ll need to adjust. are you padding yourself up?! YES! but i’m awesome! it always happens that way. sheesh. 

-ugh now i feel tied to my job even more. after the last big purchase? yeah. are you having buyer’s remorse? YES!

-my head hurts so much. it’s not as bad as yesterday when i felt like i had to go to the hospital. i was thinking about calling an ambulance. omg did you do the head squeeze?! that didn’t work at all! it felt like a large knife repeatedly stabbing my head. you know that area i press on behind your neck at the base of your head/skull, that area between your neck tendons and the one going up the sides, press on both points and push upward. i think you need to lift your head a bit from your neck *POP POP do you hear that?! IS THAT A KNOT?! ugh the massage place around the corner hasn’t opened. i think they’re done. it’s the only one i trust bc my mom went there so  i know for sure they dont offer happy endings. LOL i dont think they do that where you are

-you should go see cindy. your health should be the one thing you prioritize this year. does she make house calls? yes she does. sometimes goes to brooklyn and used to go to UWS for friends. i wasn’t sure if you wanted me to stop seeing her (bc she’s your friend and our PT). i would never make you do that. shes the only one who seems to help you. besides, her office is closing, the guy is being sued for not paying rent... oh what?! yeah but try to see her twice a week, i’m not sure max once a week (once a month) is really doing anything for you.

-do you think i can just get surgery to fix this? LOL no! she said you weren’t a good candidate! see her more often. but she says what i’m doing now is more preventative (so it doesn’t get worse). it might be fixed. my mom’s PT/tui na people made that ball (from using mobile phones) behind her neck go away. try to see her twice a week! your health is very important.

-should i take another advil or aleve? what did you take first? advil, then take another advil. i mean i took it at 10am this morning. oh! okay then you can switch to aleve. hmm 2016 or 2018? can i still take it? probably, it’s less effective tho. okay i’ll take 2018. 

-ive been taking heart burn meds. what are you lying down immediately after you eat again? ...noooo....? uh huh. you are, aren’t you”? either on the chaise or the bed? ..no..... if you’re gonna do that at least wait 30 mins and lay on your left side bc you know the of the stomach right? there’s that cup to the left for the acid to stay in so it doesn’t potentially open up the end of the esophagus iike when you lay on your right? ... maybe you should look this up on google! LOL other ppl don’t eat as much as i do! it won’t work! just try! ok fine.  

-it’s been awhile (since we broke up) and so i think it’s time. im here if there’s anything you’d want to share (about anyone you’re dating), we can always talk about it. *thinking sheesh why would i want to tell you that (it’ll make you even better for her). 

-i meant it when i said i’ll always be here for you

-i miss you a lot. i love you. *even tho i didnt say it back during FT, was still in some level of shock, i love you too. 

[kwamiwayzz]

as someone who used to engage in the yuri genre as a teenager, i was pretty darn desperate to find/watch/read anything that had some girlxgirl romance happen in plain sight, like i didn’t give a shit about quality of the story or whatnot because back then there wasn’t much actual femslash i could engage in within the US so...i took whatever to satisfy myself: 

Kannazuki no Miko - guilty pleasure, but i still enjoy it to an extent despite the bad writing

Strawberry Panic - i think the writing is just as bad and i think everything about it is trash but i appreciate it for being the first yuri/shoujo ai anime that introduced me to yuri overall

Girl Friends - okay this one is actually good...or at least thats what everyone says, but unfortunately im not a huuuge fan of the style and while the main couple develops rather nicely and realistically, the manga isn’t something i can find myself reading over and over again

Candy Boy - i think i remember this one having twincest in it (*thinks about my two incest ships*) and while it looked cute, it was simply okay, nothing really too special IMO 

Sono Hanabira (OVA) - guess what I only watched that for...  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sasameki Koto - I literally only watched this, never finished but i skipped around, and i found it be kinda boring (if y’all like fluff then i can see why ppl like this)

Aoi Hana - i think this one is worth a watch (if not, then read the manga) at least for the way it handles the topic of homosexuality and developing feelings for your friend; though i wouldn’t say its the best written cause the anime decided to stop before any “real” progress could occur between the main couple (or idk wtf i dont remember its been awhile and i think i was starting to get bored with the yuri genre for how repetitive it kinda got)

skip to about 5 years later and there’s a fair amount of yuri i could go back to or start reading again and when i tried to...i just couldn’t? like people who’ve read a fair amount of yuri/shoujo ai say that Kase-san is one of the best out there, and i can see why, but i just couldn’t get invested into it. NTR (Netsuzou Trap) is another one out there thats pretty popular, but i tried it out and honestly while people say they’re repelled by the cheating and unnecessary bullshit drama that goes on, i kind of found all of it to be really boring, ironically

The only few yuri/shoujo ai that I’ve come across and found myself enjoying were:

Hanabi and Sanae/Ecchan from Scum’s Wish (Kuzu no Honkai) - which don’t watch for the yuri cause you’re only gonna torture yourself and spoiler to anyone who hasn’t read the manga or watched the anime, they don’t end up together TT_TT

and 

Citrus - which I’ve been reading since the day it came out, and despite it being riddled with so many cliches and tropes and unnecessary drama, for some reason I find myself coming back to the manga...and yes I know there’s going to be an anime adaptation and prays it does well (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)

In the end, I’m pretty much doomed to continue waiting for the US to make more worthwhile animated canon femslash pairings, and shipping pairings that have the chemistry but are unfortunately not canon (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡ (see: Madohomu, Elsanna, Diakko (eyy), YumiKuri (i know they’re canon, but see ch. 93 of AoT manga) etc.). 

Anyway, I think the point I was trying to come across was simply just I wish there were more yuri/shoujo ai that have a bigger story to it rather than just being set in your typical all-girls school or being simply a slice-of-life or just be focused on as a straight-up romance. The last thing I mentioned is fine, but...ugh I think at this point from anime, I want something along the lines of when Victuri (Yuri on Ice) became canon.

[lupin-bun]

Whatever. I’m bored.

200: My crush’s name is: Des ( @thezombiewithglasses will understand this one) 199: I was born in: 1991 198: I am really: .......???? Tired!?......A VAMPIRE!?!? What is this question asking????? 197: My cellphone company is: Vodaphone 196: My eye color is: Hazel (Green with brown flecks) 195: My shoe size is: 8 (yes, I’m a kangaroo) 194: My ring size is: Fuck knows 193: My height is: 5′8″ 192: I am allergic to: Certain cleaning fluids (and literally almost suffocated at work once. That was fun) 191: My 1st car was: PAH HA HA HA!!!! ME BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A VEHICLE!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! GOOD ONE!!!

190: My 1st job was: Waitress 189: Last book you read: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett 188: My bed is: Wonderful 187: My pet: A tuxedo cat called Thomas <3 186: My best friend: Char-char!!! <3 <3 <3  185: My favorite shampoo is: Anything by Fortune Cookie Soap 184: Xbox or ps3: Neither. PC 183: Piggy banks are: For people who are better with money 182: In my pockets: Fluff 181: On my calendar: Dentist on Tuesday and Doctors (AGAIN!!) on Thursday 180: Marriage is: *Non-committal noise* 179: Spongebob can: ??? 178: My mom: Is amazing and beautiful! 177: The last three songs I bought were? HAHAHA!! “Bought” HAHAHAHA!!! 176: Last YouTube video watched: Making Art with Ketchup by Fun2Draw 175: How many cousins do you have? 7 174: Do you have any siblings? 2 brothers 173: Are your parents divorced? .... Technically yeah but I call my stepdad “dad” so... 172: Are you taller than your mom? No! My mum’s a freaking giant at 5′11″ 171: Do you play an instrument? Piano 170: What did you do yesterday? Worked and got stressed out [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: Honestly.... I don’t know. I think so. 168: Luck: Yeah 167: Fate: Definitely! Fo sho! 166: Yourself: ....Pass 165: Aliens: Yup! 164: Heaven: No and... 163: Hell: ...no. Afterlife, yes. 162: God: I’m a Pagan so GodSSSS!!!! 161: Horoscopes: Yyyyyeah. I think there’s some truth there. 160: Soul mates: Yup! 159: Ghosts: Yes. We live with one 158: Gay Marriage: YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 157: War: Fuck off. No. 156: Orbs: *Gropes chest* .... Er.... yes? 155: Magic: Yeah. I’d like to think so [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs 153: Drunk or High: Neither. I’ve only been both of these once in my life and hated both 152: Phone or Online: Honestly, neither. Both scare me. 151: Red heads or Black haired: Redheads 150: Blondes or Brunettes: I don’t have a preference 149: Hot or cold: Cold 148: Summer or winter: Both my least favourite 147: Autumn or Spring: Both my MOST favourite 146: Chocolate or vanilla: Depends what it is. Chocolate CAKE but vanilla ICE-CREAM 145: Night or Day: Night 144: Oranges or Apples: Apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: What even...!? 142: McDonalds or Burger King: Eew 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: So I’m choosing between “annoying as hell” and “ouch”... I choose ouch 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: We talking about looks or personality here?? Because if they’re a nice person, I don’t care what they look like 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: Set adrift on a flaming boat into the sea 134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: ??? 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ????? 131: Small town or Big city: ????????? 130: Wal-Mart or Target: I’m a Brit 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller 128: Manicure or Pedicure: 127: East Coast or West Coast: 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas (I’m mentally 7) 125: Chocolate or Flowers: I’d say chocolates but I WAS given an amazing rainbow rose once <3 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney (what’s the other one???) 123: Yankees or Red Sox: [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: It’s a waste of time, money and lives 121: George Bush: Twat 120: Gay Marriage: 100% for it!! 119: The presidential election: You had 1 job, America.. 118: Abortion: If it’s necessary for whatever reason, who is ANYONE to judge? 117: MySpace: Dead 116: Reality TV: Trash 115: Parents: Mine are pretty cool :)  114: Back stabbers: Can suck my ass 113: Ebay: Good for a lot of stuff but tread carefully 112: Facebook: A curse 111: Work: Long hours for little pay and way more stress than it’s worth 110: My Neighbors: Awesome 109: Gas Prices: Thanks but I’m not 80 yet. I don’t really have an opinion 108: Designer Clothes: If you want to pay £200 for a pair of sunglasses, you go for it. I’m cool with my holographic skull Halloween shades I got on Ebay for 99p 107: College: Nyeehhh.... NYEEEHHHH. Bad time in my life so let’s not go there. 106: Sports: *SNORE!* 105: My family: Supportive and cool 104: The future: Honestly... bleak [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: About 3 minutes ago 102: Last time you ate: Am currently eating 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Like... 4 months ago or something 100: Cried in front of someone: Yesterday 99: Went to a movie theater: Last Friday 98: Took a vacation: May 97: Swam in a pool: Last Tuesday 96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND WILL NEVER 95: Got my nails done: Also never 94: Went to a wedding: Bleh. I dunno. 8-ish years ago 93: Broke a bone: Does breaking my tooth on a humbug in April count? 92: Got a peircing: Never 91: Broke the law: I stole a monkey nut from a health food shop when I was 6... 90: Texted: About 6 hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: CHAR! 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Already left home and I really miss my old bedroom and also my cat 87: The last movie I saw: Hotel Transylvania 2.... what? I told you I’m mentally 7 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Holiday to Cornwall in September 85: The thing im not looking forward to: Dentist on Tuesday  84: People call me: “Oi... thingy!” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: Pretend to be happy. WHOOPS!! That’s literally in my job description!!! HAHAHA!!! *Cries inside* 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Don’t own a car so... 81: My zodiac sign is: ...Wait. Zodiac or Starsign? My zodiac is the sheep and my starsign is Pisces 80: The first person i talked to today was: The lady who runs the canteen at work... that’s depressing 79: First time you had a crush: When I was 5 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My mate Brandon!! I swear that guy’s psychic!! I’ll THINK my face is neutral but I’ll suddenly hear “What’s wrong? I’m getting negative vibes here.” 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Craig asked me for a coffee just as I’d opened my mouth to ask if he wanted a coffee about half an hour ago. Does that count 76: Right now I am talking to: The internet, like a fucking loser 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I WANT to work as a concept artist in films 74: I have/will get a job:.... Again, what are you asking me? 73: Tomorrow: ...Saturday 72: Today:..........??????????????????? Ok, I’m lost 71: Next Summer: WHAT!? 70: Next Weekend: ...-_- 69: I have these pets: I TOOOOOLLLLLLLD YOU THIS ONE!!! 68: The worst sound in the world: Open-mouth eating 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: *Coughs* 66: People that make you happy: My friends and my family xx 65: Last time I cried: Last night 64: My friends are: Awesome 63: My computer is: A pain in the butt 62: My School: [Sings] My house... in the middle of my street... my house... (I was home-schooled by the way) 61: My Car: Uuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! 60: I lose all respect for people who: Need a list..? 59: The movie I cried at was: GotG2 58: Your hair color is: Currently mousie but I’m gonna dye it blue 57: TV shows you watch: Not connected. I don’t watch TV 56: Favorite web site: Youtube, I guess...? 55: Your dream vacation: Anywhere I can see cool animals and go swimming.... so, Australia! XD 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Physical or psychological? 53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium 52: My room is: A rubbish dump 51: My favorite celebrity is: Danny Elfman for reasons 50: Where would you like to be: Part of your wooooorrrrrllllllllld! 49: Do you want children: NO! 48: Ever been in love: Yes 47: Who’s your best friend: You’ve asked me this... -_- 46: More guy friends or girl friends: Actually, now I think about it, the majority of my friends don’t identify as EITHER! XD 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Finishing an art piece 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My mum. I didn’t get to see her on her birthday 2 days ago 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: The only thing on it is “Buy a house”... 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yes. Including “swim with sharks” 41: Have you pre-named your children: Yup. “Invisible” if it’s a girl and “Non-existent” if it’s a boy (Of course, they’re welcome to change it to whatever they wish if they grow up to realise they’re a different gender) 40: Last person I got mad at: A customer who fucking WHISTLED AT ME to get my attention 39: I would like to move to: The country but that will never happen 38: I wish I was a professional: Concept artist [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Mini eggs 36: Vehicle: Pirate ship! 35: President: Brit 34: State visited: Brit 33: Cellphone provider: Ugh! 32: Athlete: Andy Murray 31: Actor: Don’t! I have no idea! I have so many! 30: Actress: Ditto 29: Singer: Danny Elfman, David Bowie or Michael Jackson 28: Band: Oingo Boingo 27: Clothing store: Thrift stores 26: Grocery store: Sainbury’s (but only because it’s closest) 25: TV show: Red Dwarf (I have the DVDs) 24: Movie: Can’t choose! 23: Website: See question 56 22: Animal: Birds (I don’t know WHAT bird. That’s too specific) 21: Theme park: Uh uh 20: Holiday: Newquay Cornwall with my family in 2013 <3  19: Sport to watch: None 18: Sport to play: HAHAHA! Ok... 17: Magazine: Nope 16: Book: Harry Potter (any) 15: Day of the week: Whatever day I have off that week 14: Beach: What?? The one near my parents’ then I guess 13: Concert attended: Stiff Little Fingers at The Waterfront in Norwich 12: Thing to cook: Pancakes. They’re fun, even if I do end up with floppy quesadillas most of the time 11: Food: Depends on my mood 10: Restaurant: Bella Italia 9: Radio station: Again... not 80 8: Yankee candle scent: I don’t know if it was technically a Yankee candle but I recently bought one that smelt of pomade that was pretty nice 7: Perfume: The Captain by Fortune Cookie Soap 6: Flower: Sweet peas 5: Color: Aqua blue followed closely by purple 4: Talk show host: They’re all tossers these days 3: Comedian: Billy Connelly 2: Dog breed: Labrador 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Mostly.... ¬w¬

[thegeminisage]

more botw blogging, SUPER spoilery

this is a real long post sorry normally i break these up and this time i didn’t

and finally, off we go to a new province

this time im making its tower my first stop, since i can see it from here

i tried to paraglide across the river but i didn't have enough height so i landed on the cliffside and ITS RAINING!!!!! for fucks sake

i cant believe this game actually got me to hate rain..........

not only that but when i died in the water it didn't reload me back to where i started to glide from but a bit of cliff i stood on lol so #struggles right from the first minute

rain for the next 3 hours.......and i gotta climb it in the rain....jesus

i guess i could fast travel but i'd have to walk all the way back there :/

hmm. maybe the gae's throwing me the rain on purpose. an npc mentioned this river was notoriously difficult to cross :///

yep as soon as i turned away: it cleared. Great

well i see some bridge-like things further downstream i guess i'll check that out

lol jk i managed to glide across a different part and climb

like i saw my forecast change but then it changed back to sun so w/e i'll take it im up here now

aaaaah i can see so many cool things from here!!!!! i cant wait to explore them all!!!! that #new province feel

i hate like, feeling obligated to track down every last bit of stuff in the old ones when you're seeing new exciting stuff

but i love the feel of getting to a new one and not even knowing which cool thing to check out first

ohhh my god lol there's a big-ass bokoblin camp on the way to the tower i think i see a moblin but im not sure

aaaand im dead

at least there werernt any moblins!

tbh it isnt a difficult camp i just wasnt vigilant about healing

me every time i see something new: what the Fuck is that!?

in this case it was an ice wizzrobe which made it snow EVERYWHERE oh my god

That Was Difficult

if i didn't have my fire arrows and lynel bow it would have taken way longer

i died again!!!

those weird pattern bokoblins have SO much attack power ):

come on i have to clear out the camp AGAIN? and kill the wizzrobe?

naw dude i am skipping this nonsense i am going straight up the fucking cliff

HA i sniped them from above >:3

w

there's a zora on top of this tower!!!!!!!

omg poor thing he can't get back down i wish i could carry him on my paraglider

man i love the tower cutscenes and music and the way they unfold it's so cool

BIG SHINY NEW PROVINCE YYYYEAH!!!!

oh hey i found another zora down near these bridges

they all want me to go see their prince haha noooo i have too much to explore!!!

oooh it's so easy to get all turned around on these bridge thingies

man i love this province it's SO pretty

ah i found a goron on a sandbar!! how did you get out here with all this water...

nooo the blood moon again i knew it was coming the music has been funny all night >:(

lol jk the music faked me out its 2am and i warped to the stable for nothing (i was trying to get that one dude's reaction)

i came back and did the shrine and found another zora!! lol they all really want me to go see that dude

there's a thing i need to climb but ugh rain

while i was bored i chopped grass and attached octo balloons to things

now i am in the wetlands which are AWFUL to walk through i can practically feel the mud squishing between my toes and i want to die lmao

there are horses here!! i miss mine ):

ive done enough shrines now to get another upgrade but i dont feel like doing all that backtracking blegh

oh noooo i see a guardian out here, a moving one ;_;

ah it's been awhile since i failed to fight the still ones on the plateau...i wonder what the start screen meant by "the right tools" ive got a lot of damn tools!! did they mean arrows??

lol yet another zora telling me to meet with the prince.........dude

this prince must be either desperate or spoiled

uh

okay maybe its a glitch but i think?? i see?? a flying island in the distance? What The Fuck

wait no it looks kind of like a ship or giant bird??

my pins don't stick to it, it's definitely moving around

jesus fuck

AHAHAH FUCK THE GUARDIAN SAW ME

HAD TO TAKE REFUSE IN THE FUCKING SHRINE

jesus christ i hate those things!!!! you can't kill them!!!!!!!

NO oh my god there's a hinox over here too

why this Why This

lol the hinox fighting music is giving me trauma flashbacks

actually that wasnt so bad with a defense elixir on

maybe it's just me but this province feels kinda small? i feel like i could finish exploring it p quickly, which is nice

not that i'm not having fun but i know i'm going so slowly ):

me every five seconds: i miss my hooorse i want one to ride around to go faaaaster

i guess...i could catch...one of these

and like. not register it bc the stable is 10000 miles away but

a temp ride. let's see if i can. need to use up some of my sneak potions anyways

i caught one and rode it awhile, but my heart's not in training it...i want My Horse

oh my god wait i hear town music!! is this a stable right here!! AAAAAH

so i did catch a pretty black one and named it luna - had to let the first one i caught go lol but it didn't have great stats and i only rode it once so it'll be happier in the wild probably

KASS IS AT THIS STABLE IM SO HAPPY SO IS HESTU

he's playing epona's song i'm gonna CRY

I MISS EPONA IM DYING

oh my god he had a story for me!! the same one that impa told!!!!! man

the music is still so good. fuck.

lmao i was talking to one dude and he was like well might as well head back inside ugh that place is so filthy and the women so free you might as well call it a manfill

UM?? NINTENDO??

i can see hyrule castle super close from where i am and it looks super scary and i super want nothing to do with it rn

i get the feeling you can like, go in there whenever? maybe even do the endgame stuff early? but oh my god i Dont wanna

OMG i just mounted a bear

i read that you could ride things other than horses but holy shit lmao

i mean

it killed me after i got off, but man

sadly i must now board my horse and continue with The Story see i explored the non-story bits of that province SUPER quickly dang

oh no

this shrine is called a minor test of strength

Oh No

Why, God

oh. that was actually like SUPER easy compared to the other two haha phew

this lady at the crossroads said the prince was creepy omg i knew there was something, ahaha, excuse me, "fishy"

whoa i love his music theme!!

lmao i always get so SHOCKED when they talk!!! even still!!!!!

voice acted cutscenes of this game are like fmvs of final fantasy games in generations 5-7 lol

oh my god...the wink/sparkle thing...he's such a HAM

he's flattering me TOO much omg dude what do you want.......

ok, ok, i like him

he doesn't seem very trustworthy but since his people are in trouble i'll cut him some slack on that one

oh nooo i gotta climb this in the rain......

ah, it's sunshowering tho! that's kinda neat

i just got attacked by octoroks and my heart wept a little because traveling up zora's river dodging octoroks to get to and save zora's domain...I've Been Here Before

listen, i could write a book on this

(lol i did write 300k on this but shhh that was a long time ago)

like...if link is actually a reincarnation does he get flashes of memory

oot happened in every timeline but i know wind waker didn't

but do you think assuming this is in the same timeline as wind waker something in him feels at home the first time he sails a raft again

or hears kass play epona's song at the ranch

or ducks an octorok on his way to zora's domain

people treat the incarnation thing as a kind of tragedy - the world will never be free of evil so long as ganon/ganondorf exists

but maybe there's happiness in it too

no matter what happens, no matter how sad the ending - i mean hell, in this very game, link and zelda LOST

no matter what though, it's guaranteed that they'll see each other again

over and over and over without end, link and zelda are gonna meet and be together for awhile while they defend hyrule again

frankly if that's not a soulmate idk what is

and frankly i'm perpetually offended that they don't develop ganondorf the man more like they did in wind waker...that was the Peak tbqh

i would kill for something like that again

anyway

i love how present the current here is, like with the stuff floating down the river, thats a NICE touch

tbh it's actually really nice that he keeps uselessly checking on me on the way up the river

like, i've been so lonely

even now i miss my companion going "what's WITH that guy" like they probably would if i had one

so this is nice. tbh.

i know it was probably a deliberate choice and makes the game stronger but a companion for this game, someone to share it with...that would've been cool

even just zelda as the protag, she could do some internal narration

but the whole thing is just so quiet.

this place is so pretty tho?? in the distance i see these like, pink coral looking plant things, and the blue columns and bridges are gorgeous

OH NO LIGHTNING GOD WHY

i think its an area thing too i cant just wait it out lmao im gonna Die

oh jk it's just rain now

idk why my entire forcecast changes to a particular type of weather and its only like that a few seconds...super weird and annoying

lol sidon all "you're almost halfway there i believe in you!!" and not helping fight and link's little "k" wave

i love link as a silent protag even if i did have him talk in my writing like it's so endearing

i wonder if link is like sgr like "i am 100 years old what is this zora kid even doing. what is he EVEN DOING."

lol just had to dodge some rocks rollin down a hill

you see this is what i mean. there's a weird sense of familiarity and nostalgia if you've played the games a lot. i wonder if the spirit of the hero feels that way with each new adventure, too

like if he's okay doomed to an eternity of fighting and parting with zelda over and over

because in the end he always gets to do this again

like i can see the spirit of the princess/goddess being high key miserable about those circumstances but i wonder if the spirit of the hero is maybe secretly glad

because part of him will always yearn for the next adventure

he never COULD be happy settling because this is what he was born for

WE love doing this again and again and again, maybe it's not such a stretch to think the spirit of the hero does too

or maybe i'm projecting so hard onto him because undertale has so successfully blurred the line between the player and the game for me LMAO

oh man i just noticed all the names on this map

lulu, mikau ;_;

i miss them!!!!

just once i wish zelda games would feature the same side characters in two or three titles

we never got to see saria or darunia or lulu again

we get to come back to the world but every friend we've ever made has been gone

like some narnia shit i swear to god

lol this is why i should never do story all i do is rant about My Zelda Feels, which are literally endless

oh NICE battle with a blue moblin on the bridge!!!!

ah i like the zora history here too please give me all the worldbuilding i wanna know everything about this world that i can bc rn all i know is "we got Fucked"

i guess i also know about the automans but i need More

i say, while procrastinating on getting to the story

in other news i have an ice and lightning rod which i havent bothered trying to use

bc when i tried to use the boomerang i failed utterly lol

but these? holy shit dude these are Powerful when you actually land a magic hit like Dang

i Love them im never avoiding another wizzrobe again (thats where they drop from)

oh wow

i finally made it, and

man. oh man. it's so beautiful

i wish i could see if better

jesus the zoras always had the prettiest parts of the games imo

OH NO THE MUSIC

OH NO!!! im gonna cry omg

it's the same melody from oot i think!! oh my god!!!!!!

omg there's a zora here named rivan who says he knows me?!?!

omg no he's listing some of link's old pals from Before im so sad why can't he remember

OOOH i shouldn't speak to the elderly bc apparently i am "guilty" of something?? i love this development PLEASE tell me more

i love that they all age so slowly #nice

am i walking into a fucking execution lmao sidon don't play me......

omg the little zora kids are adorable!!!

omg there's a statue of the zora champion ;_;

man this is all so cool i wanna know EVERYTHING about what happened back then!!!!

lol the shrine here was SUPER nerve wracking god you had to like, roll the giant ball down a hill and stop time at JUST the right moment skjghf

oh my gosh ANOTHER zora who knows me (lol "linny")

im so ;w; they all know me!!!!!!

i slept on the blissful water bed at the inn and was mystified and alarmed by the sound effects but i got an extra stamina wheel and 3 extra hearts!!! god damn you can't beat that shit

im so amazed at how many people knew link and like, blame him? i wanna know so bad what happened, i wanna know more about mipha

ten bucks says she's still alive and like trapped in the divine beast but corrupted

or a ghost or something like the old man ;_;

aww zoras sleep in the water aw aw :3

i'm loving this theme of link sleeping for so long like at first i thought of sgr but i just realized it's also like oot (and i can't believe i didn't make that connection first...)

like in oot the people who knew him Before are so happy to see him again and are sure he can help them

but in this game it's a bit mixed

and in this game we don't know the details of 100 years ago yet ;_;

zora's domain here is like. so GLOWY. reminds me of waterfall from undertale tbh lol i wanna paint it

so i'm talking to the king and this one elderly zora goes "the hylians abused an ancient society's power to turn hyrule into what it is today" & like...tbh my dude you have a point. if they had never gotten those guardians out then they couldn't have turned on them

oh my GOD

i just got my first look at a divine beast and i can't believe i was calling them jaegers

my jaw dropped irl holy shit

like that thing truly looks both divine and beastly (this one is an elephant)

is mipha still in there as like a ghost ;_;

it's so clear how much everyone misses her

and she seemed so sweet in the one short memory i recovered

every time sidon does his sparkle smile i love him a little more

i didn't trust him at first bc he seemed a little too eager but now i see he's just doing his best!!!!

especially as someone who thinks radically and progressively in a society where elders stay around hundreds of years

YESSSSS I GOT ZORA ARMOR!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

SWIM SPEED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omfg and it's an engagement thing just like the sapphire

MADE BY MIPHA?

thats right that other lady said link was supposed to choose between her and mipha

listen mipha seems cool and all but i've been shipping zelink for 19 years, so

oh NO, mipha had feelings for link

oh no poor mipha...oh my god

WAIT AM I ABOUT TO GET ANOTHER MEMORY??? OH MY GOD!!!!!

duuuuuude

"no matter how bad the wound i will ALWAYS" heal you and then link wakes up in water

did she do that!!! did she save him ;_; oh my god im going to cry

"you are quivering like a hatchling" PLEASE protect my poor son

muzu is making me sad dude he misses her so much and he hates this so much

ooooh i have to fight another lynel for shock arrows...good Lord im not looking forward to that

I KNEW IT

"calamity ganon took control of the beasts and trapped the champions inside" yep either she's still alive like link and zelda or her body is in there and so is her fucking ghost

DUDE!! i just swam up my first waterfall and it was AWESOME!!!!!

so im at shatterback point now hwere lynel is just bc i wanted to swim up a waterfall but probably he will kill me quickly lmao

apparently you can mount him too which. sick.

but idk i dont have any good food or elixirs or weapons ready im just up here for science im probably gonna knock off soon i gotta Draw

Oh Fuck There He Is ):

it's super tedious to have top go back and delete every fucking picture i take for my copendium one by one those shouldn't save in my album automatically come on dude im trying to take a picture of this lion centaur thing here

aaah there's a rainbow here too #nice

ah well got him about a quarter pf the way down before i died :/ not bad for being completely unprepared

tbh i only had one defense food?? had i had more i could have whittled him down eventually

anyway thats all for tonight!! i doubt i'll play anymore tonight bc i have drawing to do

lol this is a long post but it's all in one bc i'm typing them in notepad now and don't have to worry about them getting too long

[fourteenacross]

so, like, i know youre a busy person, but if you get time, could you write martha manning meeting the squad and maybe molly??? -Myah

At some vague point in the future, the gang is going to a conference in the UK where they’ll meet Martha and her girlfriend (and John’s ex and his fiancée), but that’s not for awhile yet.

In the meantime, here’s some other stuff.

*

“Look,” the boy on the other end of the phone says, “I wasn’t saying that was gonna keep me from doing it, just pointing out a fact.”

Martha bites back a smile. “Alex?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, hi,” he says. “Martha. Mattie. Can I call you Mattie? John always calls you Mattie. Or–John calls you Mattie when he’s not thinking about it. When he’s consciously starting a story about you he always goes, ‘My friend Martha,’ like this is the first time he’s mentioning you. Or–I guess also he’s making sure I’m not mixing you up with his sister? But. Anyway. Hi?”

“I really thought he was exaggerating how fast you talk,” she says. “It’s almost all he’s said about you, really. Normally I can’t get him to stop talking about his men, but he’s coy about you.” She stretches out on the settee--she can hear Jo banging around in the kitchen, impatient to go out and meet the rest of their friends.

Across the ocean, John’s Alexander is quiet for a moment. She’s rather sure this is an uncommon occurrence. “Really?”

“That’s how I knew how much he liked you,” she says. “He answered all of five questions before changing the subject to badger me about my love life. All I got is a picture and the fact that you’re loud and obnoxious and passionate and mean in all the same ways he is, but also very sweet.” 

“’Sweet?’”

“And he got all flushed and stammer-y when he said it. Believe me, I’ve comforted John through quite the parade of terrible boyfriends. He likes you.”

“I know,” Alex says. She can hear the smile in his voice, the tremor of happiness. “I love him a lot. Like...a lot. Like....”

“A lot?” she suggests.

He snorts. “That’s proof, okay? That’s solid proof of how much I love him: he’s literally the only thing in the fucking world that can leave me speechless. I wrote a fucking essay about the hurricane that destroyed the town I grew up in, I filled an angsty tween journal with my pain when my mom died, every new exciting discovery in my field gets thousands of words of dissection, but then this stupid, beautiful asshole steps in front of me and--bam! All I can do is stare and babble and make like...vague hand gestures.”

Martha knows from stammering and vague hand gestures. She glances, unconsciously, at the kitchen again. Jo is standing on a chair to rifle through a high cabinet, scowling with determination. Martha’s heart aches.

“So,” she says, pushing through her own troubles. “Tell me about you! Like I said, Johnny was vague and secretive.” He’s told her a little more than she’s letting on, but those conversations feel more private, for some reason. mattie i’m so fucking scared of how much i love him ive only known him for like a month and a half i think Im gonna throw up.

“Uh, I’m twenty-one. I’m in the same program as John. I’m an immigrant from a tiny island in the Caribbean that you’ve probably never heard of. You’ve seen pictures, so you know what I look like. I’m pretty smart. I think John has shitty taste in beer and I don’t know how he can stand to put those dumb sci-fi movies on when he’s working. Um, my favorite color is green?”

“Favorite novel?” she asks.

“Uh, To Kill a Mockingbird. Or maybe White Teeth? Or Oscar Wao? This is a hard question. Uh, John gave me The Doomsday Book, but I haven’t read it yet. He also gave me Guards! Guards! and told me if I don’t at least appreciate it, he has to break up with me, so I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.”

“Ugh, of course John wants you to start with Guards, he’s obsessed with Vimes. Ignore him, if you’ve never read any Pratchett, start with Equal Rites.”

“No, tell him to start with The Amazing Maurice!” Jo yells from the kitchen. “I mean--I’m not eavesdropping!”

“I barely followed any of that,” Alex says. “Is there someone else there?”

“Yeah,” Martha says, “my friend Jo is waiting for me to finish up so we can go meet some people. But she’s fine waiting until I’m done with you.”

“To a point!” Jo shouts, but she’s found whatever it was she was looking for in the top cabinet and seems distracted again.

“Anyway,” Martha continues, “favorite film?”

“I don’t know if I have one? I didn’t go to the movies a lot as a kid. Maybe...um--I feel like this is a test.”

“It is, to a certain degree,” Martha says. “Okay, we’ll let you pass on that one. Are you a big partier?”

“I like people, I like socializing. I don’t know that I like partying. We go out to the bar on Fridays and have a pretty good time. Sometimes we go dancing. As long as it doesn’t interfere with my work--I’m kind of a workaholic, but, you know. I make time for my friends. I make time for John. You know we’re already dating, right? And like...living together. And while I understand you’re close, I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna dump me if I don’t pass your test. Not that I wouldn’t get lost of he did dump me. I mean, unless he was doing one of those dumb self-sacrificing things he does when he’s depressed.”

And there’s the heart of it. He’s clearly seen what John can be like when he’s down and he’s still here and he’s pledging to stay through those times. That’s all Martha can really ask for. She’s an ocean away, he’s pushed away his family, and he’s all alone somewhere new. She needs to know there’s someone on his side. She needs to know that someone is taking care of him when he’s too bloody stubborn to take care of himself.

“Well, it’s fine because you’ve passed,” she tells him. “Your prize is taking care of Johnny when he’s being a pill.”

“That’s kind of a lousy prize, seeing as how I’m already doing it. But I also get him when he’s brilliant and excited, so I guess it evens out.”

“Brilliant,” Martha repeats. Her smile is downright giddy as she thinks back to all of the idiots John’s dated for the past five years.

“So brilliant,” Alex says. “And just--passionate. Brilliant and passionate and thoughtful and dedicated and...and...just...fucking radiant. He’s just--this is what I was saying, this is what I was telling you, I don’t have words, okay?”

“Okay,” Martha says, still smiling. “Well, it’s been lovely chatting with you, Alex, but I think my friend is going to disassemble my kitchen if we don’t leave for the pub soon.”

“Yeah, John should be done soon, I can hear him bitching at the doctor from here. Just one last thing--’Johnny?’”

“Did he tell you he covered for me when we were fifteen and pretended to be my boyfriend for a family visit?”

“No...”

Jo is tapping her foot impatiently by the door. They’re not even late yet, but that’s Jo--insufferable when she’s bored. Martha would strangle her if she wasn’t so pathetically smitten.

“Very quickly, then--my mother and grandmother were trying to set me up with an eligible boy back home. This was before I had even really admitted to myself that I was gay. So, while I was on the phone with them, panicked, John told me to tell them I already had a boyfriend, which I did, and then when they asked who it was and I panicked more, bless him, he pointed at himself and I told them it was him. Then, of course, when they came to visit for a family week a month or two later, we had to actually pretend to be together. Johnny was out to everyone, so there was a lot of bribery going on that week to keep other students quiet, and he was so very awkward, so everything was over the top.” Alex laughs and so does Jo, who’s leaning forward against the side of the couch to listen, now. “I called him ‘Johnny’ in this treacly voice and even after my parents went back to London, it stuck. It was a lifesaver, really--he even fell on his sword and kissed me a few times, which is what really confirmed my lesbianism. You don’t have a boy like that kissing you and feel vaguely disgusted if you’re even the least bit heterosexual.”

Alex laughs again. “Don’t I know it.”

“So, very long story short, he hated Johnny and declared that only ex-girlfriends get to call him that when Francis and some of our other friends started picking it up, which limits its usage to me.”

“Good to know,” Alex says. Then, “Hey, baby, you good to go?”

“I’ve got a script to fill, but fuck that, the ER visit’s gonna cost me enough as it is.” That’s John, unmistakably, and Martha misses him terribly all at once. 

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“It’s just pain stuff. It’s basically extra strength Advil, I’ll be fine without it.”

“Yeah, whatever, don’t think I’m not gonna call Mrs. W and get her opinion, because--”

“--are you on my phone?”

“Um.”

And then grunts and grappling and muttered curses and then, panicked, “Shit, Mattie?! How long have you been talking to him? What have you told him about me? What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, darling, Jo and I are late for drinks,” Martha says, grinning. “We can make up our FaceTime date tomorrow, yeah?”

“Mattie, I swear to fucking god--”

“I love you, Johnny!”

He’s still cursing when she hangs up. Jo’s staring at her, one-eyebrow raised, which gives her one last pang of missing John, who shares that genetic quirk.

“Does he get to give your girlfriends the same interrogation?” Jo asks.

“Well, I’ve not dated anyone seriously enough to find out, yet,” Martha says, grabbing her bag and shoving her mobile into the middle pocket. 

“I’m sure you will soon,” Jo says, squeezing her arm and leading the way out of the flat and down to the street.

“I’m sure I will,” Martha mutters glumly, watching Jo leave for one long, miserable second before she grabs her coat and follows.