#it’s not a perfect show and I am not a super fan

[astrangetorpedo]

IN INTERVIEW

Julien Baker, the interview 6/8/2016

At just 20 years old, Julien Baker gave us last year a first album of intense and rare emotional force, the superb Sprained Ankle reviewed here . A moving record that left a deep and lasting mark on me. It was therefore impossible to miss the young American's arrival in Paris and not to take advantage of the opportunity to try to get to know this outstanding artist a little better. A meeting was thus organized thanks to the invaluable help of Sean, her manager, in a café in the 12th arrondissement, two hours before the young lady's very first Parisian concert, on May 24. A one-on-one meeting that revealed to me an adorable and voluble young woman, incredibly touching and sincere, and above all determined to seize life with all her might! A moment of exchange and sharing that I am not ready to forget.

Hello Julien!

Julien Baker : Hello!

First of all, thank you very much for granting us this interview. I am a big fan of your music and it makes me really happy to meet you!

Oh, thank you! It's a great pleasure for me too, you know! I still can't believe that people like my music enough to want to meet me to talk about it. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, really!

Perfect! Let’s start at the beginning of your story. I read that you’ve been making music for a while now. Could you summarize the journey that led you to where you are today?

Yeah, sure! I started listening to music in middle school. It was rock, I was really into it with painted nails, black eye makeup, all that stuff! [laughs] Then I started playing in bands, punk bands mostly. Then I joined Forrister which is the band I still play in today. We were playing shows in cities around our area. Then I went to college and a friend of mine who worked in a studio there offered me to record with him for free. Since my band couldn't be there, I did it solo, without any specific plans. I put the album out on Bandcamp for $2 or $3 a copy.

That's when Sean [Julien's manager] contacted me and suggested we release the album in a more official and professional way. I told him that I was actually in a band, Forrister, and that no one would be interested in me as a solo artist. He insisted and even though I didn't believe it at all, I agreed to give it a try. I'll always remember the day he called me to tell me that NPR [National Public Radio] was going to play my single. I hung up crying and immediately called my mom all excited to tell her the news! But then, as things seemed to start to take off for me, I started to doubt myself. I felt guilty towards the rest of the band, thinking that they would resent me for doing this project without them. So I called the drummer and asked him what they thought and he said they were just proud and super happy and not mad at me in any way. So I kept going and here I am! I never thought I would come to Europe and do all this, it's crazy, really!

During the band's time, did you already have this desire to write your own songs?

I don't think I had any real unfulfilled desire to do this.

But you were writing?

Yes, I wrote my own songs. But not because the band was holding me back or preventing me from doing it within the collective. It's just that sometimes you write songs but they don't fit the moment. So I put those lyrics aside, like that, without any specific goal. I've always written and played in different bands. There was enough space for all that, things didn't have to be done exclusively in one framework or another.

Were your parents musicians?

Not really. Well my dad bought me a guitar and showed me how to play it. So I started playing by practicing at home on my own. I also took piano lessons but for a very short time. My teacher didn't really like me because I didn't work hard enough. I just played by ear without wanting to learn to read music and he didn't like that. So I taught myself. But my parents were big music fans. They played records all the time at home. When I was younger I wanted to go to a concert, my dad would come with me to make sure I was safe! He was the only adult in the middle of all these tattooed and pierced kids! [laughs] Oddly enough it never bothered me. When he made a surprise appearance at the Bowery Ballroom for my concert in New York, I was so proud! He and my mom have always been a great support!

This is really great!

Yes I know !

In addition to being an author and composer, you are also a student. Are you still going to university?

I just finished my semester. It's currently summer vacation. But I think I'm going to take a break in the fall. I completed the theoretical part of my literature course thanks to online courses. The last thing I need to fully validate my teaching diploma is the practical part, in school with students. I tried to do it last fall but it's complicated to carry out both projects at the same time: give lessons during the week then take a plane to California or New York on the weekend to play a concert, before returning to teach on Monday morning! So I'm going to take a break to devote all my time to music.

Do you want to teach one day?

I think I would really enjoy teaching. I love it. As a teenager I was a summer camp counselor, I love children. So yes it would be really cool to teach!

You studied literature. Did that influence your way of writing?

Yes, totally! I try to feed myself as much as I can from all these different ways of perceiving life and emotions that I find in books. It enriches me intellectually speaking. I have the feeling of learning new things about myself each time I discover a new author and this is then reflected in my writing I think, consciously or unconsciously.

Are you familiar with French literature?

Voltaire! I often joke with my professor friends that I would really like to have a big Voltaire and Cervantes tattoo! I already have a Gabriel Garcia Marquez tattoo [Julien then shows me his 2-part tattoo on the inside of his 2 wrists]…

Is he your favorite writer?

One of my favorites, I can't choose just one! And so when my students would complain that Voltaire is an old man who's not cool, I could show them my Voltaire tattoo and prove to them that it's really cool! [laughs] Reading Candide really changed my life. It was incredible! I think the translation of the title is The Optimist , which is quite ironic. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote and we have this word in English, "quixotic" which means optimistic but optimistic to the extreme, to the point where even if everything is going wrong in your life and you know it, you continue to believe in it despite everything. There is a really romantic and admirable dimension to that attitude I find. Same for Candide where there is this quote that I always come back to when I feel really bad and which says: "I wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still loved life" . I think I cried when I first read that sentence. Anyway, I could talk about literature for hours, don't drag me down that dangerous path! [laughs]

Haha, ok. So back to the music! Listening to your album I couldn't help but think of two other artists I really like: Sharon Van Etten and TORRES…

I love TORRES!

Me too! I even did my very first interview with her!

Wow! She's amazing!

Do you agree with this comparison even if the artists in question do not come from the same scene as you?

I totally agree with this comparison! As a teenager I only listened to punk and thought that anything that wasn't punk was worthless. Then I grew up as a musician and learned to appreciate all styles. When you really love music, you love an artist as long as their music is honest and good, no matter what the style. It doesn't matter if it's hip hop or country or whatever!

I totally agree!

And so I'm a big fan of TORRES! I loved her first album, the one before Sprinter . The song Honey is the very first one I heard from her.

The same !

And oh my god, what a song! I played with her in Chicago, I was added as the opening act at the very last minute, I felt so honored! On my way to the dressing room, I ran into her and as I was saying "Oh sorry, I don't want to bother you" she said "No, come on, this is a shared space, you have as much right to be here as I do" and she kindly invited me in. As for Sharon, it's funny because the first time I met her, she asked me to have lunch with her, can you imagine having lunch in New York with Sharon Van Etten! And she told me she was also going to invite her friend Mackenzie [Mackenzie Scott aka TORRES]. But our phones died and we couldn't get a hold of her. So in Chicago TORRES couldn't make the connection, I was just the little girl at the door!

Excellent! Are there any other musical influences that you would claim?

Do you know David Banzan?

Nope…

Ok. There's a band called Pedro The Lion and David Bazan is the lead singer. He influenced me quite a bit. And do you know Death Cab For Cutie?

Yes of course !

They were the first non-punk band I listened to. At the time I only listened to loud and fast music, but when I heard Transatlanticism for the first time it was a shock, everything changed. They really meant a lot to me.

Your texts are very strong and very personal. When you wrote them, did you think about the impact they could have on those around you first and then on the general public?

Well, at first, I didn't imagine that this solo album would lead me anywhere, I was convinced that my music would only be made with my band Forrister. So when I released the album on Bandcamp, I really thought that only my friends would listen to it. So I wrote all these songs like that, just for me, without really thinking about the scope of the lyrics. And I'm ultimately happy that I didn't think about it because if I had known what was waiting for me, I think I would have most certainly changed things, I would have probably been more reserved in my words. But if it's difficult for me to show my vulnerability, I realize that it's totally worth it when young people come up to me after concerts to tell me that my music has helped them in difficult times in their lives. It's of course a little embarrassing for me to share such intimate things but if these things make others feel good, then I think it's worth it in the end.

But isn't it a little scary to expose yourself so completely naked and transparent? It's so brave, I don't know if I could do it myself!

Well, you see, it's exactly the same for me, I'm not sure I would have been able to do it if I had known everything in advance! But now that it has happened, I feel that from now on I have the right, the license to be brave. Perhaps it was the plans of destiny or God, something like that.

And isn't it too difficult for you to sing songs every day that inevitably bring you back to painful moments?

I think there are two options. Option one: I can sing these songs every night, let them take me back in time and feel sorry for myself. Option two: there is the quote from this poet that I love who says that all the horrible things in life just need to be seen from a different and courageous perspective. Things that seem bad can indeed turn out to be good in the end. So I have chosen to let the dark and sad aspects of my songs become pretexts to be positive and happy. Because yes, all these things have happened to me but if that had not been the case, I probably would never have written these lyrics and I would not be here today in Paris talking to you, Laurence! In the grand scheme of things, everything has a meaning and works for our good in the end.

That's very beautiful what you say! [laughs] To talk about lighter things, this is your first time in Europe, isn't it?

Yes !

How do you feel?

I love it! I have such a good time. Well I don't sleep much... [laughs]

Is it the time difference or the excitement?

Well now it's the excitement! But a week ago it was also the jet lag [laughs]. Imagine, we traveled for over 30 hours straight to get here! I first took a plane to Richmond and then a train to Washington DC. We then took a flight to Iceland where we took another flight to Copenhagen. Once there we took a train but due to a problem on the tracks we had to take a bus that took us to another train! When we arrived at the hotel, we were totally exhausted! [laughs] It was 11 o'clock in the evening but at that time of year the sun hadn't set because we were so far north and my body didn't understand anything at all! But hey after a good night's sleep everything was better! And now if I don't sleep it's just because I don't want to miss anything, not a single minute you know! I thought I would never be able to afford to travel and once again it seems that Destiny's plans are extraordinarily kind to me. I feel so grateful and lucky!

And that's just the beginning!

I hope so! But you know, even if everything had to stop, well in any case it would have been much, much more than I could have imagined! I am so grateful for everything that is happening to me!

Are there any particular places you want to discover?

Sean has been here before and wants to show me places he liked. Today he took me to see the Sacré-Cœur which is beautiful. On my side, there are also places I would like to visit, especially in Barcelona, ​​because I am majoring in Spanish literature. I would like to go to the café where Picasso had his very first exhibition, long before he was famous. I would also like to see the Sagrada Familia, Gaudi's work, visit a museum, buy a Viva Cataluña t-shirt and eat paella. I am so excited to be able to do all these things!

That's great! But it's going to take you some time to do all of this!

We are staying there for the whole festival [Primavera Sound Festival]. So we should have some time. Of course we won't sleep much because in the evening I also want to attend the concerts!

You'll sleep when you get home!

Exactly! Since I am a big coffee drinker, one of my friends gave me a badge for my jacket that says "I will sleep when I am dead" ! [laughs] There are indeed so many things to experience in one life! [laughs]

And what are your plans for after the European tour?

We're actually going to be touring until the end of the year.

Will you come back to Europe?

We're going to Australia in November I think. I can't wait! We're also going to tour the States so as for Europe I don't really know... And then I hope to have some free time early next year. I'm always writing new songs that I play live. I must have 30 demos on my computer and I'd really like to record them. So it would be great if I could get into the studio early next year!

Last question: do you have one or more musical recommendations to share with us?

Lucy Dacus!

Oh I love it!

We played together in Washington DC. I had never heard her songs before Washington and I remember hearing the lyrics to Map On A Wall which say "I hope good comes from good and good comes from bad anyway" and I started crying all by myself watching her play. Her music is so beautiful, so powerful! And we have so much in common: questions of spirituality, sexuality and faith, questions about gender too and the place of girls in rock music. We are really like two halves of the same person. We have the same booker and were approached by the same label. And when I saw her again in Richmond I knew we operated exactly the same way. So our biggest fear is that we will one day become jaded and arrogant. We want to remain grateful, sincere and enthusiastic. There are so many people who do this for a long time and end up jaded. It's really great to find someone who feels exactly the same way you do, and that's the case with Lucy. We're platonic soulmates! She's a very, very dear friend.

You must tell her at all costs to come and shoot in Europe and in Paris because there are people waiting for her here!

Promise! I'll send her a message as soon as I have wifi!

Lucy Dacus! A perfect choice! Thank you very much Julien!

Thank you! It was great!

photos by jean-marc ferré 📸

interview by lolo from paris (who has great footage of that paris show on his youtube account) 📝

wayback link for the interview 🔗

[musical-chick-13]

Also I want to point out that there ARE some horrible women in fiction that I genuinely don't like. Like the girl from fucking Oreshura.

[swampjawn]

Dungeon Meshi Episode 7 was super interesting from an adaptation standpoint - this'll be a little different from what I usually write about (though I do still talk about the animation in the full video).

Studio Trigger have never done a straight-up manga adaptation before - and led by Yoshihiro Miyajima, a big fan of the manga who pushed hard for the adaptation to get made, and who has never directed a full series before, it was unclear if they'd be able to find the right balance between a simple panel-for-panel recreation and making something that's completely different.

And in the first few episodes, you could really feel the tension between the influence of a cautious young creative with great respect for the source material, and a studio with a unique established visual style. It kinda seemed like they were ping-ponging willy-nillily between the two sides of that spectrum.

But this episode showed that Miyajima (and series writer Kimiko Ueno) can take 3 chapters, slice them up and rearrange them into a cohesive-feeling episode while taking into account the differences between screen and page, and using them to their advantage.

Starting with the way the water looks. This line from the manga describes a faint magical glow to the water in this lake and you can see that the cavern fades into darkness above, but Kui's illustration style doesn't really define lighting and shadows very much compared to the cel-drawing style of animation. So the animators took the opportunity to use the water as the light source, and make a whole episode that's lit almost entirely from below. It really gives an otherworldly feeling to this area.

Particularly when the Kelpie shows up, that under-lighting works wonders to define its anatomy within the relatively simple line art.

What do you do when you can't show the immense fuck-off scale of a monster with a beautiful full-page spread like this?

Well you use what you do have: the ability to move the camera instead. This is such a great way to communicate the scale of this thing, AND such a great way to show some of Senshi's anime-original butt-cheeks!

This is one of my favorite shots from this episode - this whole sequence is super hectic, cutting quickly from character to character, but they use tricks like this to keep you from getting confused. This is framed much like it is in the manga, but with the moving image, they're able to use the trajectory of the fish head in the background to lead your eye directly from Chilchuck, right to the point where Senshi pops up in the foreground and transition seamlessly from one character to another!

Now, it's not all good - I am a bit disappointed that they removed Marcille's own Senshi-style soap-making montage, which was the perfect visual representation of the culmination of the character development and understanding built between Senshi and Marcille.

It's a shame to see it go.

I get more into that, what else was cut, and much more in this video where I broke down the entire episode!

Check it out if you feel like it. If you don't, jump in a ditch, cover yourself in leaves and jump out at people as they walk by.

Thanks for reading!

[fastandcarlos]

The Littlest Surprise : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: when your lack of presence around the paddock is noted, fans start to speculate. little do they know the real reason for your disappearance…

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, carlossainz55 and 2,483,608 others

charles_leclerc: always a joy to have my beautiful niece and nephew at the race and enjoy my biggest fans cheering me on ❤️🏎️

328,605 comments

username1: wondering at what point yn actually decides to show her face again…

carlossainz55: and there i was thinking you were waving up at me 💔

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 when you’re as cute as these two I’ll consider it 😘

username2: some support yn is constantly leaving you at races alone

username3: how come the whole family managed to be there apart from yn 🙃

maxverstappen1: it must be easy being the cool uncle with all that money to your name!

username4: the best uncle is gonna make the best dad too one day 😭

oscarpiastri: how come cousin oscar didn’t get to meet these cool guys!?

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri they only wanna meet the cool drivers 😂

landonorris: @/charles_leclerc you shoulda brought them over to me then 😎

username5: I don’t wanna be that person, but it’s been a long time since we saw yn on the feed…

pierregasly: it was so nice to see them both this weekend 🫶🏻

username6: can we all just calm down, I’m sure yn and charles are fine!!

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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 3,693,127 others

charles_leclerc: the race of dreams, so proud of how the whole team performed this weekend 🏆❤️

372,579 comments

landonorris: super race my friend, enjoy the celebrations 🎉

username7: a whole podium and still no sight of yn anywhere 🤔

username8: anyone thought that yn might just be busy??

maxverstappen1: btw I let you have this one 😂

charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1 yeah sure you did… 😂😂😂

username9: congratulations charles, so deserved this weekend 🏆

username10: at least the team is there to celebrate with you 🙄

carlossainz55: ik how much this means to you, couldn’t be happier for you brother ☺️

username11: I’m sure yn and charles will celebrate together, with privacy…

username12: I’m so proud of you winning your home race!!

arthur_leclerc: I’ve got the perfect plans for this evening don’t worry about a thing 🤔

charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc that immediately makes me worry 😬

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liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 2,979,261 others

charles_leclerc: enjoying the off season with my favourite people. just a reminder to mind your business during this off season, there’s nothing to worry about with me 🤍🌊

276,318 comments

username13: charles really telling us to mind our damn business 😂

oscarpiastri: if you need anything you know where I am!

username14: hoping this is charles’ way of telling us him and yn are fine 🙏🏻

landonorris: couldn’t agree with you more 👏🏻

username15: I always knew you guys would be alright!!

carlossainz55: I’ve got your backs always ☺️

danielricciardo: sending you both good vibes for the summer ☀️

username16: enjoy the break charles and the peace and quiet for a while!

arthur_leclerc: getting ready for the best summer ever 💪🏻

username17: hope you and yn get to have the rest you deserve ☀️

carmenmmundt: if yn needs me, I’m only a phone call away ❤️

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liked by charles_leclerc, iamrebeccad and 538,708 others

ynusername: we’ve been keeping a little secret. charles and i are so proud to tell you that baby leclerc will be with us in the new year. it’s been a far from easy process but we’re so excited 👼💞

32,129 comments

charles_leclerc: you’ve been so incredibly strong, I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you ❤️

username18: ah I’m so happy for you guys ☺️☺️☺️

username19: so pleased to hear you’re on the mend yn 💞💞

arthur_leclerc: present and ready to be the coolest uncle in the world 🎉

username20: I’m so ready for charles’ dad era!!!!

lilymhe: cannot wait to visit you and get all the baby cuddles in the world soon 👼

username21: shout out to all the people sending congratulations who were convinced they’d broken up 🙄

carlossainz55: I’m gonna be back at ferrari every week making sure I visit now 😂

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 can williams offer you an adorable baby like we can??

username22: this is the best news ever, cannot believe my fave duo are going to be parents…

pierregasly: ik just how much you guys have wanted this, couldn’t be happier for you both!!

username23: I’ve been dreaming of a post like this for so long and now it’s finally true 😭

oscarpiastri: buzzing to welcome another leclerc into our family 😂🫶🏻

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liked by oscarpiastri, pierregasly and 3,126,084 others

charles_leclerc: making sure to capture all the moments with my best friend and bump 📸

427,102 comments

landonorris: the caption said best friend…but I wasn’t on this trip with you??

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris do I have to explain this to you??

username24: it’s not fair how two expecting parents can be so cute ☺️

ynusername: thank you for choosing the photo where I don’t look like a swollen mess 😘

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername you look breathtaking in every photo I have of you!

username25: I bet charles’ camera roll is absolutely adorable rn 😭

arthur_leclerc: you better be taking care of the best sister in law in the world!!

ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc you’re only saying that cause I’m pregnant 😂

username26: I wish I could pull off pregnancy as well as yn omg

username27: the cutest set of photos I’ve ever seen in my life

maxverstappen1: make the most of all the peace and quiet whilst you still can!!

username28: now this just makes me feel incredibly single 💔

username29: this is the definition of living the dream now

carlossainz55: can’t believe you guys went out on the boat without me 😭

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liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt and 688,329 others

ynusername: one last race for me for the season, charles has officially now put me on house rest until the baby arrives 😂❤️

69,271 comments

username30: get plenty of rest baby mama… you deserve it!

charles_leclerc: forever cheering me on, see you at home soon 💕

username31: thank you for always being by charles’ side ❤️🏎️

georgerussell63: make sure if you need anything you give carmen a call!!

username32: what are we going to do without you in the paddock?? 😭

iamrebeccad: can’t believe we’re never gonna be in the same paddock again 💔

ynusername: @/iamrebecad I promise to come and visit as soon as I’m back 💞

username33: I can just imagine charles refusing to even let you lift a finger too!

username34: counting down til baby leclerc arrives now 🥺

lewishamilton: looking forward to being right beside you next year and babysitting 😂😂

username35: pls make sure you get plenty of rest, make the most of sleep whilst you can!!

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liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri and 2,787,134 others

charles_leclerc: making sure to not let these two idiots feel left out as we prepare for the baby to arrive…turns out they are actually quite needy 😂🥺

427,098 comments

username36: I love how needy the leclerc boys are ❤️❤️

arthur_leclerc: I will be round your house every single day don’t you worry 😂

charles_leclerc: @/arthur_leclerc changing the locks as we speak!

username37: they’re definitely not gonna be left out, they’re never gonna leave your side 😂

landonorris: I feel like I’m looking at promo for the next boy band or something… 🤮

username38: not emotionally prepared for these photos…

ynusername: my three favourite human beings 🫶🏻

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername I better be the number one!!

username39: I love the bond these guys have 🥺

oscarpiastri: seems you were forgetting an important part of the family here 🤔

username40: bet charles is secretly hoping for a boy to add to this trio!!

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liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55 and 693,172 others

ynusername: btw charles has been using this holiday to practice everything he knows about babies and doing nothing else 😂 according to him he’s perfect 🥺

57,183 comments

username41: the baby isn’t even here yet but I already know charles is gonna be the cutest dad in the world

carlossainz55: rebecca says these photos have got her in her feels…so kindly stop 😩

ynusername: @/carlossainz55: bets it’s you guys next 🥳

username42: look at how much of a natural he is 😭

pierregasly: btw he’s not stopped telling me how excited he is to become a dad 😂

username43: my heart can’t cope with the dad feels rn

charles_leclerc: thanks for flexing how good of an uncle I am 💪🏻

username44: thank you yn for blessing my timeline with these 🙏🏻

landonorris: were these just an excuse to post topless charles again???

username45: if you ask me, charles is most definitely perfect 😂

username46: can the baby just hurry up and arrive now pls…

lilymhe: you just wait until it’s your baby he’s holding instead 🥲

ynusername: @/lilymhe I cannot wait 🥺

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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 4,329,059 others

charles_leclerc: we are so happy to share that our baby boy is here…mum and son are doing amazing and i’ve just about stopped crying for now 🥺💕

576,301 comments

username47: crying. screaming. throwing up.

arthur_leclerc: I’ve never been prouder of the two of you than I am right now!!

username48: congratulations charles and yn, we’re so happy for you 🥺

oscarpiastri: welcome to the family little one 🥺😂

username49: another boy to add to the leclerc family 🥳

scuderiaferrari: welcome to the newest member of the tifosi ❤️🏎️

landonorris: I’ve been refreshing my feed all day 😂 so glad he’s here and healthy 💕

username50: his little face, I can’t cope with how cute he is 😭

carmenmmundt: glad to hear mum and baby are good, get plenty of rest you three 😘

pierregasly: it’s not fair, how do you guys manage to make such cute babies!?

username51: can already tell this dude is gonna be a heartbreaker one day!

lewishamilton: so pleased he’s here safely, congrats you two!!

username52: he’s finally here omg 🥺

carlossainz55: could not be happier for you guys, cannot wait to meet little man 💞

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[vbecker10]

Hey love, how are you doing? Hope you’re all good. Could you write a Bucky x fem!reader who has an eating disorder, but she hides it from the team and she does it successfully, but on one mission she passes out, which is weird because she’s one of the best. She says it was just because she didn’t feel well and everyone believes her, but not Bucky. He senses that something’s off and eventually finds out, because he leaves reader no choice but to tell him, and so she does.

I’m struggling with my ed and I would love it, but if you don’t want to write this, it’s totally fine! I am a huge fan of your work💚

I Want You to be Healthy

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N) - established relationship / reader has an eating disorder

Summary: You pass out on the way to the jet after a successful mission. The team quickly accepts the excuse that you don't feel well but Bucky knows you well enough to know that you're lying. As soon as you are alone together, Bucky pushes you to open up to him about what truly made you pass out.

Warnings: Eating disorder, passing out, denying you have an eating disorder, feeling insecure about your weight & body image, keeping secrets from your friends and boyfriend, relapsing eating disorder

Background: Female reader has an Eating Disorder (a combination of anorexia and bulimia). Reader has the following behaviors: Skipping meals, frequent checking in the mirror for precieved flaws, constantly using a scale and tracking their weight, eating alone and at odd times of the day / night, exercising more frequently and more intensely than needed, not taking rest days or days off for injury, using the restroom soon after eating, making their own meals rather than eating what the team eats, often complains about needing to be healthy and talks about having to lose weight or gain muscle, thinking they are in control of their eating habits

A/N: Hi my lovely anon, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with your ED, I hope you can focus on yourself and get the help you need. I'm here if you want someone to listen 💚 Thank you for trusting me with this, I tried not to focus too much on the specific type of eating disorder since there are a few but I found some similarities between them when I was doing my research. I used those symptoms for this to make it a bit general. I hope this is okay 💚

I didn't tag too many people in this because I wasn't sure who exactly to tag, I won't be offend if you skip this 💚

Steve walks at the front of the group, one hand firmly gripped around the arm of a captured Hydra officer, her hands cuffed tightly behind her back. The mission was simple enough and more of you had gone than was needed but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to be out in the field. It was the only place you felt you belonged, where you could show the others on the team you were good enough to be here.

When Bucky had knocked on your door earlier this afternoon and asked if you were free to join them, you agreed eagerly. It was a welcome distraction from what you had been doing for the last hour, standing in front of your full length mirror, scrutinizing every inch of your body. The flaws in your physique are so glaringly obvious to you, you couldn't help but fixate on where you need to lose fat or gain muscle.

Bucky had smirked when you answered your door to him in nothing but a towel, he assumed you were having a lazy day after a relaxing shower. You hugged him tightly and told him you would get ready for the mission. There was no point in telling him what you had really been doing. A super soldier could never understand your daily struggle with your weight or the constant drive to be perfect. None of the Avengers could.

Natasha and Clint follow the captain closely, another captive officer walks with his head down between them as they discuss dinner. They quickly decide that since its Friday, they should get take out when they get back. There was no reason to make an excuse of course, take out was the easy option. Most of the team was either too busy to cook or had simply never been taught how to.

This meant you had to be even more careful because the food that was ordered was never healthy. Soon after you joined, you learned that it was easier to prepare all of your own food and eat in your room. Eating away from the team also meant they couldn't ask why your portions were what they considered small or why you were eating much later than them. It was none of their business anyways, you had told yourself often. As much as you would have liked their company, it was better this way. You could focus on your weight and health instead of answering all of their questions or dealing with their concerned opinions.

Bucky chuckles as he slips his arm around your waist, unaware of your thoughts. "I'm voting for spaghetti and meatballs, not that anyone asked me," he joins his friends conversation but you are barely listening.

Natasha checks to make sure Clint has a firm hold of the captive then she effortlessly turns, walking backwards smoothly through the thick leaves. "What do you want for dinner, Y/N?" she asks you with a smile, pointedly ignoring Bucky's comment which gets a laugh from Clint.

You don't answer, too distracted by the pain that is spreading deep in your stomach, the one that means you've almost reached your limit between meals. When you get back, you'll need to find something to eat, even if that means more time in the gym.

"Earth to Y/N," the spy waves at you to get your attention. When you make eye contact with her, she again asks what you want for dinner.

You shrug in response, the pain in your stomach growing as you walk. You know the type of answer she is looking for. Pizza, Thai, sushi. You could easily suggest any one of a hundred things but you can't. If you did, you would be expected to join them and that isn't something you are willing to do.

"Don't bother," Clint says when you are silent for a few more steps. His tone is relaxed but you worry he can tell what you are thinking. "You know Y/N never eats anything we order. We don't get anything healthy enough for her," he reminds Natasha. "Too much grease and fat and deliciousness."

"It's not my fault I'm the only one at the Tower worried about my figure," you roll your eyes at him.

Bucky laughs, his hand squeezes your waist, a part of your body you've always been self conscious about. "Your figure is perfect, doll," he smiles and you wish you could believe him but it's not that easy.

Natasha turns back to Clint, not missing a step and pats his stomach once. "Maybe you could learn something from her," she jokes.

"Hey!" he calls after her, sounding like an annoyed sibling. She laughs, jogging lightly towards Steve to hold the female officer while he opens the hatch.

Your ears begin to ring and the trees in the forest around you blend together, becoming hazy. Bucky kisses the top of your head and asks you a question but you can barely make out what he is saying. His voice is just above the ringing that vibrates in your mind. He looks down at you, his expression quickly turning to concern as he says your name but you don't respond.

You're light-headed and suddenly feel cold as your vision blurs more of your surroundings together. You take one more small step and stop, unable to continue forward. Bucky's hold on you tightens but you can't make out his words. You recognize what's happening to your body but only a second before you lose consciousness.

"Y/N," you hear Bucky say your name softly as he runs his metal fingers through your hair gently. Opening your eyes with a quiet groan, the jet gradually comes into focus but everything is sideways. You turn your head to look up at Bucky and realize your resting on his lap. "Slowly doll," he says, helping you sit up in the seat next to him.

"You okay?" Clint asks from the seat across from you.

You nod, still a bit dizzy, "Yeah."

"You had us all worried," Bucky says, his eyes not leaving you.

You shrug, hoping a few simple lies will calm everyone including yourself. It's been almost three years since you passed out from not eating. The last time it happened, your eating disorder had spiraled out of control for the second time and your family urged you to get treatment. It couldn't be happening again though, you think desperately. You are in control of your eating habits this time, you had just accidentally gone too long without eating.

"I felt kinda sick this morning. I know I probably should have stayed home but this sounded like a really quick mission," you offer an explanation that sounds likely.

"Next time you tell us if you don't feel well enough to go out," Steve says sternly from the pilot seat of the jet.

"Will do cap," you plaster on a smile to hide the wince from the dull ache in your stomach and salute him. This earns you a huff and a dramatic eye roll from the blonde super soldier.

"Good, can't let anything happen to the second best spy on the team," Natasha says with a smirk as she opens some files on her tablet.

You force out a small laugh, "Second best?" Then you look at Bucky who still hasn't taken his eyes off of you. He doesn't seem to have accepted your excuse as readily as everyone else but he also knows you better than anyone. "Are you going to let her talk about your girl like that?" Hoping the joke with Nat will distract him from his concern for you.

Bucky responds with a smile almost as fake as yours and says, "Of course not doll."

"Hey," Tony says when he spots you coming towards him in the hall. "How are you feeling? I heard to passed out in the field today."

"I'm okay, just a bit dehydrated," you tell him, holding up your bottle of water as proof.

"Okay, just try to be more careful next time," he tells you and you agree to as you continuing towards your room. "You're not gonna eat with us? Nat ordered from this new Mexican place."

"I'm still feeling a little off," you touch your forehead lightly and he nods. It's an easy excuse and it slips out before you even realize you've said it. You take a few more steps down the hall then add, "I'll see you all in the morning for training, though."

"Only if you're feeling up to it," he says and you give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He smiles, shaking his head when you turn away from him again. "You're allowed a rest day you know," he calls after you. You continue towards your room without responding, you know that's not true.

A soft knock on your door interrupts your reading and you get up to see who it is. "Hi Bucky," you greet your boyfriend warmly but he doesn't offer you a hug or even a smile in return.

"Can we talk?" he asks in a serious tone and you nod, letting him in as your heart races. Those three words send panic through your body in an instant. You freeze as he takes a seat on the edge of your bed, rubbing his hands together anxiously. "Come sit, doll," he taps the bed next to him lightly without looking at you, his eyes still fixed on his hands.

You walk over and sit next to him silently. What do you two need to talk about that is making him this uneasy, you think. The only answer that surfaces is that he's come to end your eight month relationship, but why? Did you do something wrong, had you forgotten something, your mind races in search of an answer.

He takes your hand in his metal one gently and takes a breath to steady himself which only makes you more nervous. "Y/N," he starts slowly, "I love you so much, you know that right?" He lifts his head to look at you and you nod, too anxious to speak.

"I'm going to ask you this once," he says, "And please, don't lie to me." You bite your bottom lip, searching his face for any hint of his question. "Why did you really pass out on the mission today?" he asks.

You feel the smallest hint of relief that this isn't about your relationship but then you are instantly filled with a different type of fear. Has Bucky figured out what you've been hiding from him, from everyone? Does he know about your eating disorder returning and your worry that you're losing control? Your mind fills with all of your most easily accepted excuses, hoping that you can convince him you are okay.

Before you can open your mouth, he shakes his head. "I need the truth doll," almost as if he can see the lies forming.

"I-" your words stick in your throat and you look away from Bucky, your eyes roaming around your small room. You focus on the high tech scale positioned in front of the tall, full length mirror you spend so much of your time in front of.

He cups your cheek, bringing your eyes back to his, "Talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, Y/N."

"I'm fine, I promise," you tell him in the most sincere voice you can, kissing his cheek softly. "I told you, I was just feeling a little under the weather today. It's not a big deal."

"You didn't eat again today," he states, no hint of a question in his tone. You're in too much shock to begin defending your reasoning for skipping a meals when he adds, "You've been missing meals a lot lately, haven't you?"

You nod, suddenly feeling caught which makes you feel both guilty and embarrassed. Bucky is the one person on the team you have always been able to confide in, even before you started dating but this was something you wanted to keep even from him. It was the reason you forced yourself to eat when you went on dates with him but you always found a way to excuse yourself and use the bathroom soon after. Had he noticed that too, you worry.

"How long do you think you can go without eating?" he asks but you don't want to admit you know the answer. Since college, you've developed a pretty good sense for how long you can go between meals, today truly had been a miscalculation. Instead you simply shrug as you guage whether or not you can convince Bucky you missed those meals by accident.

"Y/N," he says when you are quiet. "You can't keep doing this."

You chew the inside of your cheek, this conversation reminding you too much of the one you had with your parents the first time they caught you hiding and throwing away your food. Your eyes flicker away from his and back as you start to realize you might be struggling more than you thought.

His jaw tightens and his gaze follows yours to the scale and mirror then he sighs. "I should throw those stupid things out," he says, more to himself then to you.

"No," you respond quickly and he furrows his brows when he looks back at you. "I need them," you try to explain, your body tensing at the thought of being without them even though they do nothing but cause you anxiety and distress. "I have to keep checking..." your voice trails off, you don't want to open up any further. You don't want Bucky you judge you.

"Checking what?" Bucky asks, hoping you will let him in.

"I have to keep checking my weight," you finish and you find yourself suddenly unable to hold the rest in. "I've always been just a little over from where I need to be with my weight." You look down at your body as you sit next to him, you can easily envision all the flaws you saw in the mirror this morning. "I'll get there, I'm close," you tell him as if he's the one you need to convince and not the small voice that dictates what you can and cannot eat.

You had been focused on your weight for almost your whole adult life and never reached your target. It doesn't matter that the target keeps shrinking anytime you are even remotely close. A few times, you had almost reached the number you thought would finally mean you were perfect only for the small voice to disagree. It would insist you could still lose more weight or you had put on too much muscle or needed more muscle or any number of things. Each time your goal changed, your eating habits became stricter and your workouts became more intense.

Bucky cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin lightly, "What are you talking about? You're in the best shape of anyone on the team. You're perf-"

"No," you shake your head, pulling free from his fingers. "I'm far from perfect, you of all people should know that. You're a super soldier, you were practically built to be perfect," you tell him and Bucky's metal hand twiches as he removes it from your waist. "I knew you wouldn't understand," you add with deep a sigh.

"I want to understand. I'm worried about you," Bucky says but you don't look at him.

"You don't need to worry about me," you say, shifting away from him on the bed. You feel yourself becoming defensive and worried he will want you to stop checking your weight and eat more. "I'm fine, I told you. Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Because you're not fine," he says, his voice raising a bit to show his frustration, not at you but with the situation. "You don't eat, Y/N, not nearly enough and I've seen the way you push yourself too hard when we train. I kept telling myself you knew what you were doing and you would stop if you needed to but then today..." he shakes his head as his voice trails off for a moment.

"Today was an accident," you insist but you're less sure of yourself then you had been. "I have it under control. If I had known about the mission beforehand, I wouldn't have gotten sick."

"You didn't get sick, you passed out," he says and you can see he's becoming more upset by the conversation and the fact that you will not listen to him. "What if that had happened in the middle of the mission? What if we had been somewhere more dangerous and I couldn't get to you? You've gone on solo missions, no one would have known what happened to you."

You get up quickly, needing to distance yourself from Bucky's questions and concern and the doubt they are creating in you. You pace around your room, trying to absorb his words but you don't want to believe he's right. You don't want to admit that you're not okay again.

Without realizing it, you walk towards your mirror and tap the scale with your foot. Bucky gets up, coming over to you but your eyes are fixed on the scale. You tap it again and it turns on, the zeros blinking slowly as you remember the number that stared at you this morning.

"I get that your worried about your weight-" he starts but you cut him off.

"Of course I'm worried about it," you look up, folding your arms around your body tightly. "You have no idea how easy it is to gain weight, one little slip and I could lose all my progress. I have to watch everything I eat and workout so I can be good enough to be here, so I can be perfect," you voice your inner thoughts to Bucky for the first time. "I can't just stop," you tell him.

He moves closer to you, removing the empty space you created between the two of you and you begin to feel nervous again. "I want you to be healthy," he takes your hand in his, pulling you away from the scale.

"So do I, that's why I need to do this," you argue but you feel defeated, as if you are only moments from admitting you know he is right.

He shakes his head, his metal arm rests on your lower back, pulling you closer to him. "What you're doing is the opposite of being healthy, doll. Can you see that?"

You look up at him, seeing the concern fill his eyes and you know you can't deny it any longer. You bite your lip and nod slowly, "I think I need help."

"I'm here doll," he responds softly.

"This isn't-" you struggle to find the words and he gives you time, holding you quietly. "This isn't the first time this has happened," you tell him honestly. Bucky holds you silently as you tell him about your struggles with your eating disorder and how you have relapsed previously after getting treatment. He doesn't ask questions or interrupt you, his hand moves gently up and down your back as you open up completely. When you finish, he wipes your tears softly and kisses your forehead.

"I thought I was okay," you tell him, your voice breaking. He pulls you flush against his body, wrapping his arms around you.

"You will be," he assures you and you rest your head on his chest, hoping he is right. "You are the strongest person I have ever met, you can do this. I will help you any way I can, I promise."

You pull away to look up at him, realizing you'll be gone for at least a few months for treatment. "What am I going to tell everyone?" you ask him, feeling a wave of shame wash over you. It was one thing to break down and admit to Bucky that you had an eating disorder but it was an entirely different thing for the Avengers to find out. "I don't want the team to know," you shake your head, worried about their reactions.

He cups your cheek and you look up at him again, "Don't worry about the team or anything else, doll. I will take care of them and everything else. The only thing I want you to do is focus on getting better, on being healthy again." He gives you a hopeful smile and says, "I'll tell them we're going to visit your family. Fury will approve the time off, it shouldn't be an issue."

You sniffle in response then smile slowly, "We?"

He nods, "If that's okay with you. I know there are things you'll need to do alone, but I want to be close, in case you need me. I want to be there for you, every step of the way."

You wipe a tear quickly with the back of your hand and nod, unable to express how much Bucky's offer means to you in words. Instead, you reach up and press your lips to his softly, holding onto him tightly. Pulling away slightly, you look into his eyes and tell him, "I love you."

He smiles, running his fingers through your hair gently, his metal arm still holding you close. "I love you too, Y/N. You will be okay, I promise you will get through this."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚

@soubi001 @mochie85 @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lulubelle814 @siconetribal @jiyascepter @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @dracoswhorexx @lokiandbuckysdoll

[wolfiesmoon]

When you suddenly cry in front of them :(

Riddle, Vil, Kalim, Malleus x gn!reader (riddle's and vil's are explicitly post overblot tho it's not super important)

i'm back to entering tartarus every day (school started again) so i thought i might as well distract myself with some hot twst guys :)

i havent been very active i know, i just cant get myself to do anything at all these days 😞i am so so sorry for making a kinda lazy short collection of blurbs but i need to get back into my writing groove somehow

(as a sidenote, i'm worried some of these might be ooc? i sincerely apologise if they are :( )

RIDDLE honestly doesn't know what to do with himself. He never really got the comfort he needed whenever he cried as a child so he had no idea how to comfort you now. He scolds himself internally for not immediately acting and just kind of freezing up beside you so he panics and tries to recall of all the times he saw someone else comforting others in order to end the extremely awkward tension as quickly as possible. He pats your back somewhat rigidly and says "There, there." In an all too awkward manner. You're caught off guard so hard by the sheer akwardness of Riddle's comfort technique that you burst out laughing, troubling Riddle even further. "W...Why are you laughing now?" The dumbfounded expression on his face is the perfect medicine for forgetting your troubles just now. Riddle unintentionally just cheered you up. After the incident, he seemingly becomes less strict with you and starts asking about how you're doing umprompted, which always pleasantly surprises you. Sometimes, Trey even shows up at Ramshackle dorm, holding a tart of your favourite flavour and saying he got orders from Riddle to deliver it to you.

VIL drops his usual strict nature for a bit. Of all people, he would be the one who could tell you were constantly acting strong and unbothered by everything going on around you. He thought of it equal parts admirable as he did foolish. Such intense emotion is not something to keep bottled up inside you and you made him realise that. His expression is surprisingly soft as he places one arm on your back, gently stroking it. He talks you through your feelings with a big sense of maturity and care and you're suprised by just how much he cares for you and your feelings. You don't exactly get that same impression when he's scolding you for not sitting straight or not wearing your uniform properly... regardless, you're very thankful for his words, even the harsher ones about needing to tell someone about things like this. "Tell me, if you must. I will always listen." After the incident, nothing much changes, really. Atleast from the perspective of others. He still gets on your case for not wearing your uniform properly, but he also asks about how you're doing when he gets the chance and does not accept simply "fine" or "okay" for an answer. You simply must elaborate why that is.

KALIM enters big brother mode. He's comforted crying siblings for various reasons before so what makes you any different? He gives you a tight hug, gently rubbing your back and trying to cheer you up with comforting phrases. He'd also try making jokes you to cheer you up and the puns are so bad you might as well start laughing. He didn't even start asking what's wrong but instead waited for you to tell him yourself. He surprised you with how mature (or perhaps just experienced) he is when it comes to crying people. You feel much better even only after a few minutes and you ask Kalim how you can thank him for hearing you out. "Seeing you smile again is reward enough!" He replies and you feel like crying again (but this time not from sadness or stress). After that incident, he always personally invites you to Scarabia parties, hoping they might inject a little joy in your life and keep your mind off things. If you're not a fan of parties, he takes you on carpet rides around the dorm instead.

MALLEUS is shocked into silence. You were smiling at him as sweetly as you always do just a moment ago... He knows how to comfort someone in theory, but now that he has to put it into practice, it feels like he's forgotten everything. He needs to show you that you can rely on him when it comes to your comfort, and that includes crying around him. This might just be one of the most heartbreaking sights he's ever had the displeasure of witnessing. He vows to himself that he never wishes to see you cry again (unless it's at your wedding) and would do anything to prevent it. He wordlessly pulls you into a secure hug, worried that if he does anything else, you might start crying even more. You hug him back and just sob in his arms, thankful for his warm embrace. "It will all be okay, child of man. I'm here, after all." And somehow, you can't help but trust those words with every fiber of your being. After the incident, Malleus ends up confessing what happened to Lilia and Lilia goes into one of those "Oh, how my baby has grown..." rants. But he also does say that Malleus should start inviting you to new places to keep your mind off things and help you let loose. So he does just that, with an added sprinkle of gargoyle-hunting and gargoyle facts. You're now very well educated about gargoyles lol.

[sidsinning]

I watched the Hazbin thing

It's not bad at all, most of the songs are really catchy, the universe and plot are both interesting, the characters are quirky and distinct. I am excited to watch the next batch of eps when I have caught up.

- it just feels super rushed? Tonally gave me whiplash at times too (please work on the transitions from dialogue to song 😭🙏) (Stayed Gone is perfect I ain't talkin about you dear)

I think it's bc this was made with the already existing fans of the lore and pilot in mind who were waiting for the answers to questions they've had for years about twists, theories, character motivations, etc. (Also feels like the characters are established in a way the show expects you to know who they are already)

Personally I enjoy the whole demon extermination plot but I wanna get comfortable with the hotel itself first and it feels like we haven't done that

Also sidenote does it make sense when I say this show is very Tumblr-coded

It's not a positive or negative just a vibe descriptor I'm a resident here as well

My fav is Alastor

ALSO

I very much appreciate an American adult cartoon that actually wants to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye

It's not ugly yay

[not-goldy]

Do you think Jikook's bond (whatever it is) is a goldmine to HYBE and they are trying to profit off it?

Thanks for such an intelligent question, having had one such mentally stimulating ask in a while.

Is Hybe overtly exploiting the chemistry that BTS has and that each pair has within the band, absolutely. I mean that bit should be so easy to wrap your head around.

Romance, bromance is one of the top selling genres of all time. The idea of BTS having a super strong fated bond between them is so commercially viable literal movies and songs have been written about them. 7 dates, bullet proof, and their recent Kdrama series etc to be exact.

And ships sell. I've said this since day one. The commercial viability of ships is just an offshoot of the commercial viability of bands as discussed above.

So yes, within that context, Hybe definitely would gravitate towards the two members with the most chemistry, who also happen to be two of the most liked members of the group, two of the most popular members and the most influential members of the group.

You don't go to war with your weakest soldiers.

Jikook is a very strong ship. We all know that.

They've had the most running in the group with some of the ships rising and falling over the years in terms of chemistry and popularity.

There's a lot to do with a pair like that. Reality shows, travel shows, documentaries, memoirs, tell all, cooking shows.

I watch a lot of reality TV and it's not hard to see how Jikook would fit right into that realm.

If BTS was love Island 🏝 Jikook would get their own spinoff after the season ended.

Fans love them, they get the most votes, the camera adores them and producers have so much they wanna do with them.

Am I making sense???

Going off with the Love Island analogy, just because Jikook are fan favorite, and the crew likes to follow them every where with a camera, and they are getting a spin off show of just the two of them don't necessarily mean their bond is fake that they are only existing for fan service or that the company is exploiting them.

There's just so much to do with them. They are fun entertaining adorable and a pleasure to work with.

So to answer your question I'll say yes and no.

Yes, they definitely a Goldmine for hybe in as far as content production goes.

No because they get to kill two birds with one stone. They can make money off of them, but also they create a safe space for Jikook to have that longevity to explore and nurture their relationship. They love being together. They love doing what they do. Hybe simply allows them to live their dreams and relationship much longer.

I've always said, if any queer pair in kpop were real you'd find them in a ship because ships would be their perfect cover for it. And we've seen jikook use this card very often to get out of trouble. Everything they do would be chalked down to fan service no matter how egregious they were. It can be invalidating and frustrating but In a way, it's also safe for them that way.

If I got paid to cozy up to my girlfriend, travel the world with her, eat as much as we can, hike, experience all and any culture- yall could call us anything you want I'm taking that offer🤣🤣🤣🤣

But we gotta give credit where credit is due because to me it's Jungkook that lay the foundation for all of this to be possible when he put of his first GCF with Jimin and later Jimin lay on top of him on a couch talking bout how they ought to do it again and how he would even model for him if filming is what he wanted to do.

I think they gave Hybe the idea of what it can do with them.

You can tell these things are things they both naturally want to do and have already done. During Run, they come up with a team name, they work well together, during rehearsals they stay behind and work on their routines tweaking it a bit, they come up with cooking shows to do, stay up all night doing nothing.

They are by themselves very creative and adventurous.

So like I said, I don't think this is hybe mining them but more so amplifying and giving them the production value to do what they already have been doing which they love, fans love and the company loves.

I'm sure if any other pair had this same organic pull towards eachother and wanted to be around eachother all the time too hybe would be just as curious and invested in them but as it turns out there isn't.

We are not stupid, we see them. And we see how some members act like they can't wait to get out of set when others keep it going even after they yell cut.

We see them all.

[mattsenthusiast]

𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖔𝖓 𝖈𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖆~ Matt Sturniolo

Word count: 5330

Summary: The reader gets hired as a photographer for her favourite band. Matt can’t help but be extremely interested in the girl, which leads to him making a bold move on stage.

Warnings: smut smut SMUT, smut with plot though, BDSM; slapping, hair pulling, tying up, blindfold, pain kink, exhibition kink and breath play if you squint, sub!Matt and dom!Reader, mommy kink, nicknames, use of vibrator, oral (m and f receiving), degrading, praising, finger sucking, cum feeding, face sitting, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), p in v, the bands name being ,,The Fingerers” is hilarious

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The feeling that was flowing through my veins probably could not be described with words. One of my favorite bands ,,The Fingerers” was having a show in my city, so how could I pass such an occasion? But just being there would not give me the satisfaction I needed, since I was a professional photographer, why not send my portfolio to the venue with proposition to be a scene cameraman?

I didn’t expect much but it was always worth a shot. So when I actually got an email back saying that they would gladly hire me for the time of the concert, I was on cloud nine.

The thought of being so close to them was overtaking my mind. The show was still a week ahead, but it didn’t stop me from planning stuff the whole time. I made sure that everything was perfect- from my equipment to my appearance. Come on I couldn’t pass a chance to look my best in front of the Sturniolos. They were insanely attractive so I obviously had to reach their level if I’m going to stand next to them. Also I can’t hide the fact that I have a thing for the guitarist Matt.

And here I am now, standing in the backstage and about to meet all three of the band members. I anxiously swayed from one leg to another and began fidgeting with the hem of my skirt that reached to my mid thigh.

I was very pleased with my outfit. It was an all black, considering that it was a rock concert and I didn’t want to be too out of place with some light colored clothes. I had a corset top that was paired with the skirt. I wore a big leather jacket over it to add this outfit a little bit more personality. The base was paired with fishnets and high, massive boots that made me taller than I already was and I also added some chains to top it all.

I felt super good with the way I looked today and it was definitely a big confidence boost.

Suddenly I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard the door opening and saw three familiar faces in the frame. Nick was the first one to enter the room, when he noticed me there he immediately started talking to me.

,,Hey! You must be the photographer for the show, am I right? I’m Nick and these two behind me are Matt and Chris” he said while pointing to the guys. I looked at them and Chris gave me a wave and smile while Matt just stared at me with his arms crossed on his chest.

Holy fuck and did he look hot as hell. His black, sleeveless shirt was exposing his toned, tattooed arms and collarbones that were begging for me to just bite into them. He also had a leather jacket draped over his right shoulder and a necklace dangling from his neck. I scanned down and my eyes landed on his hands, his fucking long fingered and ringed hands. I was sure that one touch from them could kill me and make me never want to have anything or anyone else touch me. He looked like an absolute daydream. My gaze landed on his face and my breathing stopped for a good second, he was wearing a fucking eyeliner that perfectly compliment his features. My heart could surely be heard from across the room.

I cleared my throat to get back to reality and looked back at Nick ,,yes I’m y/n I’m a big fan of your music guys, I can’t wait to take some damn good pictures for you” I laughed slightly to seem less awkward and he smiled back at me.

Chris walked up to Nick ,,Okay so we need to set up and we’re ready to go in a few. See you there” he gave me a quick hug and walked past me. It wasn’t long until the two other guys followed his lead, but I couldn’t help but notice Matt’s eyes piercing into me as he walked by. My mind was sabotaging me with all of the thoughts that were wildly running through it.

When I turned around and I couldn’t see them anymore I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Fuck this is going to be a long night.

Since I still had a bit of time before the show starts I decided to check if my camera was working. Just as I was about to snap a test picture I saw Matt appearing from the back of the curtains. He was humming a song, not looking into my direction at first, but when he picked up one of the last speakers and turned around to leave, his stare landed on me. He stopped right in front of my camera while I hit the button and the familiar snapping sound was heard. Without any word he just walked away with a smirk placed on his lips.

I looked at the photo I had just taken and fuck the camera was working well. Maybe a little bit too good even, I couldn’t pull my eyes from the sight on the screen. His damn arms are going to be the death of me tonight. I took a deep breath and looked at my phone to check the time. There was about 5 minutes left until we have to start so I took my camera, extra lenses and batteries just in case, and made my way onto the stage.

The venue was prepared fabulously, the lights matched perfectly with the vibe of the band and a screen behind the instruments was showing a big writing that said ,,The Fingerers” in a sharp font.

The boys were already in their places, waiting for the material to be lifted in less than three minutes. Chris was adjusting the microphone in front of him, Nick was hitting invisible drums with his sticks and Matt was tuning his guitar.

I gave them one last smile before making my way to the side where I was supposed to start filming.

The curtains were being lifted as the guys started playing their first song of the night. A huge wave of screaming fans could be heard along with the music. I was glad that I had some headphones on my head because otherwise a headache that would appear later would kill me.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t looking at Matt the whole time, the way his fingers swiftly ran across the strings of the guitar was filling my mind with so many unholy thoughts. I could feel myself becoming wet and had to press my legs together for a bit of friction.

I didn’t even notice when the first song ended and they smoothly transitioned to another one. I needed to take some individual shots of them all so I made my way towards the middle, starting with Nick and his drums. I made sure to catch a good shot of him head banging to the beat and spinning his drumstick in his right hand.

I started walking backwards and turned the camera towards Chris. At that exact moment his eyes were closed as he was gripping the base of the microphone, but when he opened them he turned his head towards me and smiled. After a second his whole body was turned into my direction and he took a step closer. I couldn’t say that it didn’t make me internally screaming because it definitely did.

Then suddenly I felt someone’s back being pressed to mine. I tilted my head slightly to the side only to see Matt’s face being inches apart from mine. I bit my lips and pulled the camera’s attention from Chris to him.

His hair was sticking to his forehead from the heat of the room and his eyeliner was slightly smudged as well. It was time for his guitar solo, but then he did something that I would’ve never expected. He looked right into my eyes and winked at me as he slowly made his way onto his knees, without breaking the eye contact. He flawlessly played the song while throwing his head back with his lips slightly parted.

If I wasn’t weak before then I definitely was now. I was practically fucking him with my eyes. The lust on my face was so visible and the wetness in my underwear was begging to be taken care of. The solo was coming to an end and right when he played the last cords he slightly lifted his body while still being on his knees and threw his head and arms to the back.

Not even five seconds passed when he looked back into my eyes while panting heavily and smirking sinfully. His hands made their way to the back of my thighs, right under my skirt to help himself stand up. Our bodies were so close I could feel him pressing against me. I let out a quiet gasp as he laughed and walked away, getting back to playing.

Matt was such a heavy distraction for me during the show. The glances and smiles he was sending me could easily put me into coma, but I had to stay on the ground for the sake of getting the money from my job. I was so focused on him to the point where I didn’t even realize that they played three other songs and it was time for a break. As the curtains were getting closed I started to make my way to the backstage, just to be stopped by someone. Of course it was Matt, how could it not be.

,,hey guys I’m gonna go to the van really quick because I need to get something. You don’t mind going with me, do you?” he said while looking into my eyes. The eye contact was so intense, I couldn’t even bring myself to let any words fall from my mouth so I just nodded my head. Just after I made that gesture he took my hand into his and led me somewhere to an unknown for me direction.

,,uhhhh sorry but I think the parking lot is on the other si-“ I got cut off by being pressed to a door and feeling Matt’s lips on mine. The piece of wood behind me was soon opened and he dragged me inside of the room, that later turned out to be a bathroom.

His lips were moving against mine smoothly yet so roughly. I could feel his teeth biting my bottom lip and our noses bumping together. If kissing Matt wasn’t a drug then it absolutely should be counted as one. I couldn’t pull away even if I wanted to. One of his hands was on my neck and the other one was grazing the skin under my shirt. We were panting heavily as my hands made their way from his neck to his hair. In the heat of the moment I pulled on it and I was cut off guard from the noise that has fallen from his mouth.

He just fucking moaned

This situation made me separate from him, as a smirk appeared on my face. ,,Looks like someone has a thing for having his hair pulled. I wonder if there’s more things that I can get out of you” I moved closer to his ear, so I can whisper to it. ,,Maybe if I slapped your pretty face then you’d enjoy it too, or if I tied you up and put a blindfold over your eyes so you’d have no control of what’s happening, would you like that? I bet you’d take it so well, like a good boy that you are. You’ve got such a innocent look in your eyes but deep down, you’re just a fucking slut, that would do anything just to have his face buried into something.” The words full of praise yet so degrading were flowing out of my mouth so effortlessly. It was easy to talk like this to a man that just looks like he could be destroyed.

His lips were open now and he was quite literally speechless. I couldn’t help but chuckled at his state and took an advantage of it and turned us around, so now his back was pressed to the door. I took one hand from his hair and brought it to his black pants. It was clear that he was already hard. As i was palming his clothed dick, my lips made its way to his neck as I started to leave wet and warm trail of kisses on his neck. And oh boy when I tell you that he was vocal. His moans and whimpers were music to my ears.

,,please, pleasee- fuck” he struggled to speak ,,If you don’t stop soon I’ll cum into my pants ma, please” he was begging so beautifully and it only encouraged me to keep giving him pleasure.

,,hmmm but you’d like that baby. Getting all dirty in your underwear and then having to get everything done for the night with that mess. You’d feel and remember what I did to you and then at the end of the day you’d beg me to take care of that for you.”

,,I get all wet just by imagining you like this. Fuck I wish I could just ruin you right here and now, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this. Every time I’ve watched your shows I would touch myself to the image of you and your dick poking out. Do you get turned on by performing? Do you come just from the sensation of being watched and praised?”

,,mfm fuck, yes” he whimpered painfully and he broke the eye contact.

,,yes what? You need to address me properly slut” I added and harshly grabbed his face, so he was looking up at me.

,,yes ma’am, yes I do find pleasure in being watched, please fuck I can’t take it”

I only smirked at this and went even faster. All I could hear from him were broken noises, that he couldn’t even try to keep in his throat. I stopped touching him for a moment, just to unbuckle his pants, but just as I was about to do it, we heard a knock on the door.

,,hey guys I heard a noise from there and just wanted to check if everything is alright? We’re about to get back on stage” a familiar voice asked. It was one of Matt’s brothers- Chris. I looked at the man in front of me and smiled mischievously. I started to palm him again and mouthed to him to be a good boy and answer his brother.

,,yeah- mmmm, yes we’re about to get out just, fuck, just give us a minute” he sounded so pathetic, barely being able to keep those louder noises in. All we heard was unsure hum of agreement and then a fading sound of footsteps.

,,you did so good, now we have to go back. But first let me just” I took a step back for a moment and reached under my skirt. When I found two strings on my hips that I was looking for, I pulled them down, making my panties go down my legs. Matt’s eyes widened as I stepped out of them and put them in the air to give him a better view ,,now you’re going to take care of them since I was so good for you.” I demanded as I put the piece of fabric into his pocket. A visible blush was place on his face and the bulge in his pants looked even more painful now.

,,Come on sweetheart, you have a concert to finish” I pet his shoulder, giggled slightly and started to make my way out of the room. He took a deep breath and followed right behind me like a lost puppy.

***

It was time for them to play their last song of the show. The lights were flickering, only adding the sensuality to this already arousing situation. The heat of the crowd make sweet drip down my neck and the dirty lyrics that were sang by Matt now were going straight to my core.

The fact that I didn’t have my underwear on was not helping at all. Besides the fact that I had a strong urge to just touch myself in front of all of those people, I found my gaze wandering to the place where I put the lace fabric. If you looked close enough, you could easily spot them in Matt’s left pocket, peaking just a little bit.

Oh I’m going to fuck this man so well after this ends

The minutes that felt like hours were passing by, when the finally awaited moment came. Nick played the last beats of the song on his drums and right after he finished, the fans went crazy. They were screaming and cheering for their lives, and I’m not going to lie that if I was there I would be doing the same. The boys lined up to bow and Matt straightened his arm to show me to go and stand with them. When I reached my destination I was met with his hand landing on my waist, putting a horny grip on it.

,,please go to the room 244. I’ll come to you right after I help the guys carry the equipment and tell them that I’m tired” he whispered to my ear and licked right below it. Just as the curtains were closing, he turned me around and tucked the card to the hotel room into my bra.

,,will do baby” I winked at him and ,accidentally’ brushed my hand against his hard on. Before he could even show me his reaction I moved past him ,,it was really nice working with you guys, you’re all amazing and I hope to meet you again in the future, you know hit me up if you need to take some pics” I sent a smile into their direction and went to the backstage to grab my bag.

After taking all of my belongings I started to make my way into the room. My head full of filthy scenarios that I would love to put Matt in and just make him cry and beg for mercy. I didn’t even realize when the door of the elevator opened and I got out of it.

I admired the beautiful design of the corridor. And holy shit, it must be expensive to rent a hotel here. The floor was decorated with beautiful, red carpet and the walls had multiple paintings on them. The frames were shiny and gold, just like the knobs on the doors. It took me a few seconds before I finally saw the number I was looking for. Gorgeous 244 was visible on the dark wood and I pressed the card that Matt gave me to the small screen. As it let out a quiet beep noise I opened the door and was met with darkness and a strong scent of expensive perfume and mint.

I turned the lights on and the inside had the same vibe as the corridor, golden elements and red, silky sheets. It was extremely spacious and had a big window that led to the balcony. There still was enough privacy though, because I was on the sixth floor. The king sized bed was facing a huge mirror with a shelf right next to it.

I kept admiring the space for a few more moments before I heard the door open. I was met with the sight of Matt, his make up smudged from the sweat and his hair a complete mess. He leaned on the doorframe with his arm crossed as a made a ,come here’ motion with two of my fingers.

He immediately obeyed, his eyes never leaving mine. As he was right in front of me, I grabbed his face and put my lips on him. The kiss even hotter and more desperate than before. He was grinding against me for some friction and lord I could already feel how huge he is.

I didn’t want him to get too confident though so I led him to the bed and pushed him, so he was laying on his back. His pink lips swollen from the previous make out and all I can say is that he looked like a wet dream.

,,I can finally have you all to myself sweetheart, spread out just for me and fuck you look so good on red” I couldn’t even hide my neediness, I was hungry for him and I knew that he felt the same way.

,,don’t think that it would be that easy though Matt. I’m so glad that I prepared myself and took more of my equipment, not just the camera” I took my bag that I put on the floor next to the bed and started to pull out ropes, blindfold, lube and a vibrator ,,it’s not much but once you come to my house with me I’ll make sure I treat you even better.”

With that being said I made my way on top of him, his lips immediately chasing to mine but I stopped him.

,,no touching baby, unless you want me to add more to your punishment, because of the shit that you pulled on the stage. You teased me with no permission and expected me to do nothing? Now be good and take your shirt off for me” I warned and I could see his eyes growing even darker with lust. He lifted the material from his chest and threw it somewhere across the room. I could see his whole body tensing from under me, flexing his slightly toned arms.

After admiring him for a moment, I took the long roped and put his hands to the bed frame. He gladly let me do it, not protesting once. A beautiful knot was being made on his wrists as I finished my work with a little bow.

,,is this okay love?” I made sure and kissed his neck.

,,yes it’s incredible, it feels incredible. Please make me feel good mommy please I need it. Need it so bad”

My eyes widened at the new nickname that fell from him but I wasn’t complaining. It got me a new wave of confidence to pleasure my boy.

,,poor baby, all worked up and I didn’t even touch you. The way you’re so sensitive is so pathetic yet so hot you have no idea. You were made to be used by me.” With that being said I slapped the side of his face. He was clearly caught of guard but the noise that me let out showed that he really enjoyed it.

,,now I’m going to put that blindfold over your eyes. You’re not going to be able to control anything and you’ll just lay here and let me have you however I want. Is this okay with you?”

,,yes you can do whatever you want. My body is all for you fuck” he whined out.

Nothing else had to be said and I tied the fabric around his head, making sure it’s not too tight but also puts some pressure.

,,if it gets too much just say ,red’ and I’ll stop. Otherwise I’ll just keep going so remember it baby” I kissed him one last time before staring to unbuckle his belt.

I was doing it slowly on purpose to keep him worked up. I then moved to his zipper and pulled it down with a harsh motion, so it rubbed right against his dick. He moaned loudly at the contact and lifted his hips up for some more.

I had to push it down in order for him to follow my rules ,,If I remember correctly then I asked you not to move, you’re such a slut that can’t even control himself” the degradation was getting straight to his bulge, making it aching even more.

Finally, I pulled his pants down in a swift motion, right along with his underwear. And when I tell you that he really was big.

He was about 8 inches long and really girthy. There was a vein that sat on the right side of it. The tip was red and leaking with pre-come. The sight of his was incredibly beautiful to a point where I just wanted to suck him off forever if that meant that I could be near him.

My eyes wander a bit up to his v line and I was met with a black ink decorating his pale skin. I couldn’t help myself and started licking and sucking along it. I could sense that his sweet spot was on it by the whimper that was ripped out of his throat. I decided to mark this place with a purple hickey.

Licking my way down to his thighs I was getting so close to where he needed me yet so far. He was tugging on the rope from impatience and neediness and I found it extremely amusing. I finally lick the side of his cock right to the tip.

,,fuck ma your tongue’s so warm, keep going please”

I chuckled and started to suck on his tip. He was enjoying it just as much as I was. I took him about half way in when I decided to reach for the vibrator right next to me. My eyes were literally glowing from the idea and I turned it up to a medium setting, putting it to the base of his dick.

His breathing sped up from this unexpected feeling and it was only going faster and faster as I put the toy to his tip.

,,please too much mmm, I’m going to cum if you don’t stop” his whole body was shaking and I just put the vibrator on a higher setting.

The screams that i was getting out of him were followed by a white liquid shooting out onto his stomach. He panted heavily as the first orgasm of the night washed over him. Matt was expecting me to pull the toy away but I didn’t. I just kept it at his still rosy tip as my other hand stroked the rest of his dick.

I knew he was already extremely sensitive from one orgasm so it would be easy to over simulate him.

,,im going to make you cum so well until you spent and dry. And then I’ll still lick you up to make you clean, do you understand?”

,,yes- yes mommy I understand please I’ll take everything you are willing to give me”

As he finished the sentence another string of cum was splashed onto his abdomen. I finally turned the vibrator off and threw it onto the bed.

Two of my fingers made its way into the pool of come and I dipped them into it. Then I brought it to his lips and slightly tapped them ,,open up for me”.

And that’s what he did. I put my digits into his warm mouth and he closed them and sucked onto my fingers, tasting himself from them.

It was definitely a sight for sore eyes. I pulled my fingers out and bent down to lick the rest of his cum from his stomach.

,,since you’ve already tasted yourself, now you have to also taste me” I made my way up to straddle his face. The fact that I already didn’t have my underwear was extremely helpful in this situation ,,put that pretty mouth of yours into good use now” those were my last words before I sat on his face. The sensation of his nose on my clit immediately made me throw my head back with a long whine. He stuck his tongue right into my core and started tracing circles over it.

He definitely knew what he was doing. I swear I could see stars from how good it felt. I started to grind onto his face, practically cutting his access to the air, which only hade him groan into me.

,,holy shit Matt you’re doing so good sweetheart, just a bit more, I’m almost done- yes yes right there” I made sure to leave little words of encouragement to let him know that he’s doing a wonderful job.

I put my hands into his fluffy curls to steady myself and he moaned. This brought me to the edge and I came all over his face.

,,mmmm baby you did amazing I’m so proud of you, made me feel so good” small whispers were leaving me as I took my time to steady my breathing. Finally, I lifted myself up to see the mess that I left on him, but to my surprise not only did his face was white but also his stomach, yes again.

,,awww did you just come from giving me head I can’t believe it. You’re even bigger whore than I thought” even tho I couldn’t see his eyes I knew he had tears in them from the humiliation. His face all red and he tilted his head to the side to hide it into his shoulder, since his hands were stuck above him.

,,ah ah no hiding there” I took his chin into my hand and turned it my way. After letting go of it I reached behind his head to untie the blindfold and take it off. ,,now listen carefully, I’m going to ride you and you’re not going to pull your eyes away from me. I need your dick buried deep into me more than anything”

With that being said I took off my shirt and bra to give Matt a show. His gaze immediately landing on my boobs and I could see his hands and mouth trying to reach for them.

I took the lube that I put on the bed earlier and squeezed some onto my hand and stroked him a few times before taking his dick and sinking right onto it.

We both moaned in unison and his face twisted in pleasure. It was already tears stained and with black make up running down his cheeks. After adjusting to his size for a moment I started moving up and down on him. The air was filled with the sound of our moans and skin slapping together. Sweat was dripping down my forehead as I went faster.

,,fuck you’re so tight around me ma I can feel you squeezing my dick” he whined out. I knew he was not going to last long because of his previous orgasms.

My hands were rubbing up and down his stomach and my nails were leaving red trails of marks on there. Those will stay on there for a long time and remind Matt who he belongs to.

With a few more moves of my hips I say his eyes roll into the back of his skull and his head being thrown back. The feeling of him shooting his cum deep inside me brought me to edge as well and I came right after him. I rode out our highs for a minute and lifted up from him.

,,wow that was intense” Matt chuckled breathlessly and smile was crippling onto his face.

,,I know baby, but you did so good. Such a good boy for me” I kept telling him sweet nothings while untying his hands and leaving soft kisses along his bruised wrists ,,now let me take care of you, I’ll run you a bath and you just rest here”

,,thank you so much angel. You’re incredible for me holy shit how did I even get so lucky tonight”

With those words being said I passionately kissed him on the lips and made my way to run the bath.

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I hope you enjoyed and that the grammar is not that bad😜 not proofread

[haflacky]

You will be missed forever 💔

I’m so heartbroken 😭 I loved this show so much and I always thought queer people are so lucky to have it, silly romcom about old gay couple?? So perfect. I live in country where queerness is literally criminalized and this show was giving me comfort I am not allowed to have irl. And now I just feel so bad, like important part of my life now is gone and I don’t know what to do with this, I won’t get this comfort anymore and there is no place to escape my super homophobic reality and I feel so alone. Thanks so much hbo for taking my comfort show away 🤪

I ofc will continue making content. This show and my beloved characters give me comfort and I really want to bring this comfort to you. If we can’t have official content, then it’s my duty to provide sweet fan content to you, because we deserve to have this queer couple happy 😤

[bokutosbabe]

I have no idea if this is where asks are sent but I am CRAVING some Oikawa or Ushijima figs rn 😍 OR EVEN DAICHI IM DESPERATE ID EAT UP ANYTHING YOU WRITE I BEG

AHAHA YOU FOUND THE PERFECT PLACE TO COME i love literally ALL of these characters but i chose to do ushijima since i’ve been wanting to write for him😻 i can always do the others if you want!!

Greatest in the League

a/n — i def put my own spin on this so i’m so sorry if it’s not exactly what you imagined😭🫶🏼 also made reader gn since a gender wasn’t specified . ALSO YES I MADE USHIJIMA OBLIVIOUS HE LITERALLY THOUGHT HINATA WAS GRIPPING ONTO BRAZIL BC HE WAS ON THE “OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD”

content — ushijima x gn! reader, ushijima and reader are married , fluff, set in time skip (at the olympics actually), secret relationship, honestly not much to talk abt, i think that’s it- lmk if i missed anything!

synopsis — Ushijima Wakatoshi, wing spiker and outside hitter for the Olympic men’s volleyball team, has a secret. Something only two people in the entire world know of, including him.

✿.｡.“ where’s the trophy? ”.｡.✿

one point.

one point was all that separated Japans men’s volleyball team from the champion title. a singular point that rested on Japans side of the net. Ushijima watched as the other team served

one. komori’s perfect receive- no one expected any less

two. atsumu’s terrifyingly beautiful set, every spiker they had running for the ball.

three. straight to ushijima wakatoshi.

the ball smacked against his palm, and boom. The other team had no time to even react as the wing spiker all but slammed the ball onto the other side of the court.

23-25

“AND JAPAN TAKES IT ALL!!” the announcers could be heard from the booth they were seated in. While the other team had shuffled off the court, the japan’s team was celebrating- many arms thrown around Ushijima, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

where were you?

The paparazzi had flooded the court, taking pictures of all the players while the giant trophy of the world’s best team was brought out, and yet ushijima needed to see you first.

“good job wakatoshi!” the males ears caught the three words, turning around as he heard your voice- spotting you standing at the railing that separated the many onlookers from the court.

“hey ushiwaka we need to take a pic with the trophy- hey where are you going?” he heard hoshiumi’s voice loud and clear, but his focus was on a familiar face in the crowd—yours. Without a second thought, he pushed through the throng of reporters and fans, his powerful strides carrying him swiftly toward you.

if there was one thing you hadn’t expected from ushijima after all the years of being together, it was this. you watched in awe as he came running over, the determined look on his face softening the moment he reached you. He didn’t say a word, simply enveloping you in a tight hug, causing many eyes and cameras to be turned towards the both of you.

After getting married two years ago the two of you had decided to keep your life out of the public eye, i mean- ushijima wouldn’t want his beautiful partner to get bombarded with all the questions that were sure to come their way, but as of right now he couldn’t care less.

ushijima wakatoshi was not a man of words, much rather showing his feelings through actions, so that he did. the star player leaned down before pressing a kiss to your lips, the camera flashes going off in the split second the two of your lips were connected.

“what’s with the photos?” he asked you as his hands rested on your waist.

ushijima wakatoshi was not a man of words, so when he had a post game interview with many bombarding questions about the person he had kissed, he’d decided actions would speak louder than words.

let’s just say, twitter and all news articles were buzzing about the outside hitters showing his left ring finger being adorned with a silver wedding band during the interviews.

✿.｡.“ he just comes running over to me ”.｡.✿

it’s super short and i actually hate it. i’m so sorry it took this long😭

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!

[lexirosewrites]

I have never done this before and am also not a good writer, so this will probably not be good, but I can’t get this idea out of my head.

Basically omega Steve is the really popular asmr creator chirpywhispers (don’t mind the egregious name my brain could not think of anything better lol) who specializes in omegan sounds as well as affirmations for alphas to calm down. He runs a really popular patreon where his highest tear subscribers can request a specialized 10 minute video each month. Basically he’s making bank and loves what he does, it allows him to indulge in his overactive instincts until he can find the mate of his dreams. He also thinks it’s the perfect job for when he eventually has his own pack of kids and how he won’t have to worry about leaving for work or requesting off.

Jump to Eddie who is an incredibly famous alpha twitch streamer that goes by BattyMunson (I’ll be honest I have never watched the guy but I feel that Eddie gives off Jerma vibes). He started doing streaming after his last year in high school as a way to connect more with his people, nerds and lost sheep. It started off super dinky with him playing Skyrim for like 3 people, but steadily his audience grew and he became part of the top 5 creators for the platform. He plays mostly fantasy and story based games but also occasionally streams Animal Crossing and hosts live DND events. Despite being incredibly grateful it’s also an extreme amount of pressure to perform and be “on” for so many people. So much so that he starts to have health issues from all the stress, which makes him realize that he needs to find a way to regulate and manage his issues.

Cue him finding Steve’s channel and getting a full night of sleep for the first time in over a year. At first he thinks it’s some kind of fluke, there’s no way that just the whispers and chirps of some random omega could be the solution to all his problems. Yet night and night again he is met with blissful dreams and a clock that clearly says he got a full 8 hours. Within a month Eddie is subscribed to that top tier on patreon for a very pretty penny with no regrets. This is how they first start talking since Eddie has to message what his video requests are each month. It’s not long before they are talking about things outside of video requests, eventually exchanging numbers and talking all the time. The more they get to know each other the more they start falling in love, but neither of them have the guts to risk the amazing friendship they had developed.

This all reaches a climax when Eddie invited Steve to come see him at the 2024 twitchcon and spend the convention with him. Steve of course agrees and happily counts down the days till his flight. They decide to meet a day before the con in Eddie’s hotel room so that they can meet and have time together away from the prying eyes of all the fans that have been scouring the hotels and convention areas. As soon as Eddie opens the door to his room him and Steve are hits with each others scents (peaches and cream for Steve, and bourbon and maple for Eddie) and are shocked to realize that they’re scent mates. This then results in them both falling into a false heat and rut in which they decide to fully mate right then and there. Since it was only a false heat once they exchanged bites it stops and they spend the rest of the day enjoying each others company and taking about the future.

What a shock if was the next day for the world famous streamer to proudly show off his new bite and Stevie love out of the blue…and even more shocking 3 months later when he posts a positive pregnancy test on Twitter.

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! SLICK SUNDAY IS ALL ABOUT KEEPING STEVE HARRINGTON SPREAD 👏BRED 👏AND MOTHERFUCKING WED👏👏👏

[thisismeracing]

Super shy | MS47

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x plus size!reader (she/her) ― Warnings: mentions of food, shy!reader, and tooth-rotting fluff. ― Summary: The one where your boyfriend is your biggest fan to the point of turning his account into a fan account or something of the sort. Or, Mick and Yn's relationship through the years. ― A/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

✷ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon masterlist ✷ you can support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment(don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

2020

ynusername

liked by ginaschumacher, jackdoohan, and others

ynusername what a beautiful season! super proud of my blondie :)

view all comments

mickschumacher thank you for being by my side through it all! I love you, pretty ❤️

user2 Yn you're amazing, but coffee with ice and milk is a crime!

collegefriend congrats, mick, the whole class was rooting for you!! 🥳

⤷ collegefriend2 the whole class: our friend group that happens to have seven people in it lol

jackdoohan send me the pics you took 🙏🏻🙏🏻

mickschumacher

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and others

mickschumacher Yes, we decided to adopt! Meet Angie Yln-Schumacher 🐶❤️

view all comments

jackdoohan omg you two look like a fifty years old couple sometimes 🥸

⤷ mickschumacher that sounds so single of you, I might have to ignore 🤨

ginaschumacher omg bring her to the ranch asap!!!!!! (also, you look perfect on this set, yn!!! ❤️❤️❤️)

⤷ ynusername love you, G 💖

user05 can Yn please share her skin care routine with us? home girl is glowing!!!

ynsfriend the shirt omg hahahaha I love you guys sm

username1 Angie is so cute!!

ynusername 🩷🩷🩷

2021

ynusername

liked by estebanocon, ginaschumacher, and others

ynusername went vroom vroom this weekend 💙

view all comments

user03 I am so ready for the paddock pics aaaa

mickschumacher love you, pretty!

⤷ ynusername love you more, blondie <3

oconzinho31 omg so this is his gf?? She’s stunning!!!!

mickschumacher

liked by estebanocon, lewishamilton, and others

mickschumacher had a great week ❤️

view all comments

estebanocon it was nice catching up with you guys

⤷ ferrarifanatic he says as if they weren't together every weekend lol

⤷ schumashoes nah but they were gossiping I'm sure, during the weekend the focus is racing

ynusername 💞💞

lancestroll 🥂🥂

charlesleclown I wanted to be Yn sm. Can you imagine being this pretty and also dating Mick Schumacher?!

2022

ynusername

liked by franciscac.gomes, lilymhe, and others

ynusername 💛 a little throwback time to Angie a year ago

view all comments

ginaschumacher omg I'm so used to seeing Angie that I didn't notice she lost her puppy face

lilymhe 🤍🤍🤍

1directionpaddock all of her dumps are so aesthetic, I'm in love

yukilover Yn you should show your face more, you're so pretty 💘

mickschumacher my princess and my queen ❤️

⤷ ynusername yeah, Angie is our little queen 💗

⤷ mickschumacher you're my queen, silly 😜

mickschumacher

liked by sebastianvettel, carlossainz55, and others

mickschumacher week's dump

view all comments

lancestroll where am I? 🤨

⤷ estebanocon you were gossiping with Yn and Albon

⤷ ynusername as if you weren't gossiping in the last pic huh

⤷ strollingaround LMAO get them, queen!

hamiltontouch can someone make a fan account for Yn clothes? I need all of her sets, they're too perfect!!

lewishamilton ❤️❤️

rbrvettel can we keep seb forever please? :(

ynusername

liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe, and others

ynusername It's the most beautiful time of the year 💚❤️🤍

view all comments

ginaschumacher one more xmas together 🥰

mercmick I WANNA LIVE ON THIS DUMP!

jackdoohan 💚

mickschumacher every time is the most beautiful time of the year as long as I'm with you

⤷ ynusername you're so cheesy

⤷ mickschumacher just for you 😚

monzasainz I wanna cry they're so cute

2023

mickschumacher

liked by lancestroll, danielricciardo, and others

mickschumacher month dump: sza concert, we adopted a sister for Angie, and we're moving to a bigger place 🤍

view all comments

estebanocon now you're a father of two

interlagoshamilton Mick account is actually a fan account for Yn I said what I said 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

⤷ tauritsunoda and you’re right, bestie!

happyricciardo I wanna be loved the way Yn is, get flowers, and praises, and have a man obsessed with me the way Mick is with her *crying in single*

hammert1m3 THEY'RE MOVING TO A BIGGER PLACE CUZ NOW THEY HAVE TWO DOGS, AND DKGJDKHJD OMG IM SO HAPPY BUT IM CRYING

ynusername I love you forever, blondie 💗 here to many more years together

⤷ mickschumacher I love you the most, Schatzi

lilymhe 🤎🤎 ily guys!

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, besties! I hope you guys like this piece! I wanted to write something fluffly, but didn’t have the biggest idea so I went with just fluff, that’s all there is to the piece, but I hope you like it! 🤍 make sure to let me know your thoughts by reblogging and leaving me an ask!

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mickslover @fdl305 @lunnnix @saintslewis @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @smiithys @crimeshowjunkie @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @f1kota @wondergirl101ks @shhhchriss @leclercsluv @karmabyfernando @baby-is-crying @crashingwavesofeuphoria @v1naco @cixrosie @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @thatgibbsygirl @the-depressed-fellow @darleneslane @skepvids @goldenalbon @nichmeddar @buckybarnessweetheart @nzygftoji @fastcarsandshit @scopeiguess @jamie2305 @balekanemohafe @callsign-scully @schumacheer @dearxcherry @princewis

✷ check here my main masterlist | patreon masterlist and my taglist  if you wanna be tagged on my pieces

©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work. do not repost on a different media platform.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Is the dress too much? I figure I might as well look good if I'm getting my boobs chopped off! Oh, did I not tell you guys? My bad, I've just been so excited! I think? I was going out the other day, walking along the boardwalk in my little blue bikini, picking up guys, normal Saturday. A guy approached me with a small film crew and started asking questions, telling me he runs a popular internet show involving beautiful young talent like me. He complimented my breasts and told me girls with 'oversized melons' like mine were exactly what he was looking for. He asked me if I liked being so big breasted, I said yes. He asked if I fantasize about my boobs getting destroyed or chopped off from time to time, I said yes, duh, what busty girl doesn't have that kink? He asked me if I've ever considered living out those fantasies, I said no, not really. He asked if I ever fantasized about having my clit removed, I blushed and said 'now I will, that's super hot!' He seemed very pleased by my answers, asking me if I thought girls like me ought to get their boobs destroyed for male pleasure. I asked him to clarify and he said if girls like me date guys who want us to get our boobs removed or reduced to nothing because it would turn them on, should we? I emphatically said yes!

He then revealed that he was gathering talent for his next online pageant. He told me it was technically adult content because his fans jerked off to it, but it was presented under the guise of a medical charity. That I and nine other girls like me would be paraded out into a packed auditorium of his fans. A staff of surgical students from a nearby university would be there, and he'd present the main event as a charitable pageant, of sorts. We'd walk out in formal wear, like any beauty pageant. Then we'd wear bikinis. After that we'd strip naked on stage and be lined up, sitting at a chair, with a sturdy tray in front of us. The surgical students would then numb our breasts, and we'd be forced to answer intimate questions about ourselves and our love-lives, all under the pretense of how being so big breasted has negatively impacted our lives and forced us to be oversexualized and overly sexual.

As we're interviewed, the surgeons in training would then remove our breasts, putting on a bit of a show.... playing with their food, basically. Cutting our boobs open vertically and showing the audience all the fat inside, any cysts or tumors (of which I maaay have quite a few, no surprises there!), for educational purposes, emphasizing how unhealthy they are..... piece by piece our boobs will be dismantled and tossed on a scale next to us. The weight of our breasts, how much was removed, apparently contribute a lot to who wins the pageant, so I should definitely stand a good chance of winning with these massive melons! After they're weighed our breasts are tossed in the trash, 'where they belong' the guy interviewing me made it a point to say. By this time in the interview I was straight up fondling my pussy and one tit in public, all caught on camera, available to view on his channel..... I watched the other girls get interviewed and they're so gorgeous, all equally excited to get their huge breasts chopped to mincemeat for this pageant.

It's only a couple hours away now, and I am a bit nervous. I obviously love having breasts this massive but the thought of doing this makes me sooooo wet! And seeing all these men comment on my video about how much they can't wait to jerk off watching my boobs get dismantled, I simply can't let them down! Wish me luck! I can't wait to stand on that stage with a bandage wrapped around my former tits, smiling and showing off my sexy new flat chest, along with the other girls. All for a good cause of course! How else do you make money to support breast cancer? Gotta show millions and millions of hungry eyes how dangerous and unhealthy my big fat perfect titties really are on the inside.... Ya'll are gonna flip when you see how many tumors and cysts these gorgeous fuckable titties have. I can't wait to show them off for you at long last! ❤️"

[tobyscloset]

I am going to talk about my favourite things from chaos theory and of course, the downsides, and my personal opinions!! (Opinions based around the benrius/yasammy topic) So major spoilers ahead under the cut!

Goodsides :D

While chaos theory is a kids show, it definitely displays more mature content, something camp cretaceous did not show! This includes blood, and visual character death (Daniel Kons was specifically gruesome), and description of mental issues, this is specifically PTSD, implied depressive states and breakdowns, the show dives deep into the world of surprise, watching it i was shocked in a good way when a scene came up. Kenji's breakdown was perfectly animated and portrayed.

Each character never faded into the background and they were all equally focused on throughout the season. The show also focused on relationships between the campers, and their families. Specifically Sammy's. Each character has their own comical relief line even when in a dangerous situation. The campers never matured, only grew, they stayed themselves and still act as a group! Same way they did on Nublar.

The plot twists are bonkers, I was not expecting the DPW to be up to sketchy business, nor did I expect suddenly blossoming romance between characters. The budget is definitely higher than it was with camp cretaceous, I couldn't tell if some scenes were animated or real. Beautifully portrayed landscapes.

Overall, the show deserved every amazing rating and my personal rating is an 11/10.

Downsides D:

My first itch was the one-sided romance with Darius and Brooklynn. It certainly was a plot twist but I feel that it was absolutely unnecessary and could've been kept platonic. I feel it would be more heartbreaking and deep if Darius sent her voice messages as a friend, telling her that he's sorry and telling her things about his day. That one scene threw me off on the episode, not because I'm an angry benrius shipper but because it very much could've been kept platonic and felt unnecessary, but was written and played into perfectly. I have absolutely no criticism of the actual writing.

(this was talked about on the discord) - It feels like Brooklynn used to be independent and a baddie in camp cretaceous until she started becoming the love interest, and then it felt like she just became dependent on Kenji and unable to do things herself, so I am hoping that if we get a season 2, that we really get to see Brooklynn not be the love interest and work independently. And I genuinely hope that it won't turn out into another klance situation with Brooklynn, because she was super overhated before, and some angry benrius/benji shippers WILL hate her for "getting in the way of a mlm ship", which is not the case.

My last point was with Darius' health. Darius never got that shine through and we really never got to see how he coped with Brooklynn's death or after the island. They show little cracks but never unpack his full health, which I do hope we get to see in future seasons.

Other than those three points, I really do have nothing to criticise because it was perfect.

Personal opinions/hopes on ships :3

I really do hope we get to see more yasammy content specifically how they build up their relationship more, especially comforting scenes like we got in Ben's soggy van. And Sammy telling Yaz about her family not being in contact, and I would really love to see their relationship play out further and elaborate on the family situation!! :)

-

As I autismed a little too hard and have had a hyperfixation on Benrius since 2021(?), it's not to say I didn't have my hopes up for their relationship in chaos theory, but I also can't say that I expected them to be canon. What maybe the directors could've done is provide that teeny bit of fan-headcanons, because from what I've seen, alot of people from the fandom headcanoned Ben as a gay man, so instead of a girlfriend he would've had a boyfriend. Or they could have Ben lie about the girlfriend because he may have worked out he likes boys, and has internalised homophobia. But back to benrius, they had ALOT of chemistry in camp cretaceous, and for me it was a little disappointing that their relationship dwindled down a little. What I am hoping (manifesting) is that Ben realises his feelings for Darius, and has issues coming out to him and confessing.

Despite my opinions and criticism, the show is definitely worth the watch and deserves every thumbs up from the viewers. I thank everyone who worked on chaos theory and put their best effort into it. 11/10 show. Thank you.

[mrsdesade]

Power looks good on you;

Pairing: Homelander x fem!super (I used Ophera as usual) Trope: slow burn, fluff, mutual teasing TW: mention about a shooting and blood, bathroom setting but not so smut, you can find inside a link to another of my one-shot Timeline: The Boys S1 Words count: 2,5k Note: just a self-indulgent one shot that has been in my drafts for too many days, I hope you don't mind reading about a version of Homelander more vulnerable than usual but don't worry, he's always the blonde manipulator we all love

What a very, very particular morning.

During one of your events, a man had jumped out of nowhere and started shooting into the crowd. Anything just to get your attention. The attention of the most desired woman in America.

In a normal situation you would always have chosen a diplomatic path, but you couldn't let him hurt your audience. It wouldn't have been a problem If it weren't for the thousand cameras pointed on you.

After that event, Edgar had called you back to his office, to discuss how impulsive your action had been. And the consequences for Vought's public image. But the real problem was that you didn't feel guilty at all. He deserved it, for interrupting your show, for hurting your fans.

Homelander shrugs nonchalantly at your worried words.

''Come on, Ophera, you're overthinking things. Edgar, what a joke. He can't do a damn thing.''

You reply silently, sighing and taking your gloves off your uniform, your hands are still covered in blood.

''You know, I felt this power coursing through my veins when he begged me, it was intoxicating. I couldn't stop my desire to destroy that man.''

Homelander seems almost intrigued by your words, his eyes shine with a mischievous gleam.

"Ooh yes. I know that feeling, that sense of power. There's something incredibly fulfilling about destroying someone who tries to stand in your way or challenge you.''

You continue to look at your hands stained with dried blood, not knowing whether to feel satisfaction or remorse.

''I don't know what this feeling of brutal vanity is, or where it comes from. I just know that I have a lot of it inside of me.''

"You see, Ophera, it's not just a feeling. It's deeper, it's primal. And beautiful. Some people are just built for it. That bloodlust in you, embrace it. It's a sign of power.'' he approaches you and grasps your hands, inspecting the stained skin with a twisted fascination. He knows what you're experiencing. A cruel and brutal satisfaction.

''A sign of power you say, do you think I'm powerful?''

''Powerful? You possess the skills to conquer anything that comes your way. And that bloodlust, it's the icing on the cake.''

Your smile becomes more amused, almost flattered by his words, a light laugh comes out of your bright red lips.

''Ahww. That's so kind of you. But you're right, I'm actually extraordinary." as usual, you hide anxieties and insecurities behind a facade of vanity and perfection, and you do it very well.

Homelander smiles, amused by your narcissistic facade, but he's not deceived by your act. He approaches and cups his hand under your chin, tilting your head up.

"Oh, I know you're extraordinary. Power looks good on you, Ophera."

''Coming from you it's for sure something else. But you know what else would look good on me now?'' you say letting go of his hand, sliding away from him, and unbuttoning the zip on the back of your suit.

''Enlighten me. What else would look good on you, doll?''

''A long, relaxing, hot bath to remove all this blood I have on me.''

Homelander watches you with a satisfied expression, his eyes lingering on your body as you walk, clearly appreciating what he sees. He follows you towards the bathroom and leans against the door frame watching you.

''A bath, you say? And may I ask, am I included in this relaxing experience?''

''Oh you, of course...'' you leave the sentence hanging while you take off the knee pads and the protections on your forearms, implying that the answer is yes, but then you conclude it with a teasing tone. ''...of course not.''

Homelander raises his eyebrows, somewhat intrigued and annoyed by your teasing response. His eyes still fixed on your body, he lets out a low chuckle, as he can't hide a hint of desire.

''You're playing a dangerous game, Ophera. Toying with the world’s greatest hero's patience.''

''Me? I'm not doing anything at all...'' you mime a gesture with your right hand. Implying that he doesn't have to watch as you take off your uniform. You turn on the water and it begins to fill the tub, meanwhile remove the top part of your uniform.

''Yeah. Nothing at all.'' his tone is dripping with sarcasm.

After a few minutes of silence, you let your uniform fall on the marble floor and enter into the big floor bathtub, showing a satisfied expression for the warmth of the water, from the window a beautiful sunset in the city can be admired. You turn towards him, and you smile kindly at him with unexpected sweetness, almost appreciating the fact that he has contained himself up until that moment.

''So, won't you come and keep me company?''

Homelander's expression softens for a moment, taking in the sight of you immersed in the water, and the beautiful sunset in the background. He can't help but be momentarily charmed by your unexpected sweetness.

"Well. How could I resist such an alluring invitation?"

''Don't make me wait then...'' you immerse yourself in the water up to your shoulders and move to the corner near the window to admire the view.

Of course he's not usually used to people ordering him around, but in this moment, he actually enjoys it. He approaches the tub, removing his suit and dropping it on the floor next to yours. Then he steps into the water with you.

''Look at the colour of the sky, these shades of red are so beautiful...'' you say remaining deep in thoughts.

The peacefulness of the moment allows him to let his guard down and experience a sense of tranquility that he doesn't often allow himself.

''Almost as beautiful as you are.''

Despite the flattery, you are focused on looking at the sky, he can see your bare back, with still some small signs of the fight you had in the morning and some small splashes of blood that the water will soon wash away.

''I want a dress of this exact color for my next show, I like city sunsets.'' you have a thought that is as frivolous as it is spontaneous.

''Ah, a dress as beautiful as this sunset, huh? We'll find the finest dressmakers in the city work on it. You can have anything you desire, you know that Ophera?''

He's well aware that your desires are probably quite expensive, after all he knows that you're not exactly the type of woman that is satisfied with modesty.

''Everything I want you say uh? Then I would like to no longer be afraid of heights, and to be able to get closer to the colors of this sky... maybe one day.'' what a ridicoulous spontaneous answer from you.

Homelander raises an eyebrow in surprise at your response. He wasn't expecting such a sincere and heartfelt reply from you.

''Of course you can have all that you want, you're a super! Maybe I could take you to the tallest skyscraper in the city, take you to the terrace and show that you have nothing to be afraid of.''

You immediately turn and show a slightly sarcastic expression.

''Oh yes? The last time we were on a skyscraper together, you threatened to throw me into the void and then save me at the last minute to see the adrenaline on my face. I don't know if I want to go on the top of the Tower with you really soon.'' you remind him in a playful tone of the event from a few months earlier, which however had truly terrified you.

''Oh come on, doll, don't go holding a grudge. I was only teasing you. Just a bit of fun.''

''Yeah. Yes of course, and I believe you...'' you reply sarcastically again and then you lean close to him.

You allow him to hug you, you lean your back against his chest, sitting between his legs.

He envelops you in a warm embrace, wrapping his arms around you as you lean against him, your back pressed against his chest. The tension of the battle still present on your body, as well as the blood on your hands and your glittery red painted nails.

He rests his chin on your shoulder, a smile playing on his lips as he looks at your stained hands with curiosity.

As he rests his chin on your shoulder, you put your hand back and caress him, letting yourself go into a moment of kindness, trying to understand how complicated and profound his person is.

Homelander feels a sense of contentment as you place your hand on his cheek and caresses him with genuine tenderness. He hadn't expected such a sweet gesture from you, but it fills him with a sense of unexpected warmth.

He closes his eyes for a moment, relishing the moment of connection, as he allows himself to be vulnerable. Behind the strong and arrogant facade, he has a complex and troubled soul, and your touch seems to reach a part of him that rarely experiences such gentle attention.

''You know, I'm not used to this. Being relaxed. Or allowing myself a moment of peace. But when you touch me like this... "

You continue to gently caress his face, and Homelander remains quiet, finding an unusual comfort in this moment of peace and intimacy. But you're still curious to know how he will end up his sentence.

''When I touch you like this...?''

Homelander's voice still carries a hint of his usual arrogance, but there's a sincerity in his words.

"When you touch me like this... I feel a sense of calm. It's like all my doubts and worries momentarily disappear. It's strange, unusual, but it's not so unwelcome."

You listen intently as Homelander, the usually strong and intimidating Homelander, confesses that your touch brings him a rare sense of tranquility. This honesty surprises you, as you didn't expect him to open up so easilly. It's almost too easy. You continue to gently caress his face, and as you speak in soft tone.

"Well If my touch has that effect on you, then maybe we should make these moments more frequent from now on. Until you don't decide to throw me from a building...'' you laughed.

Homelander's heart rate inexplicably begins to increase as he hears your words of comfort. That's... strange. He had expected you to take advantage of this moment, not to comfort him in such a gentle way.

He reaches up and takes your hand in his, holding it, his expression is filled of dubt and sudden distrust, due to the fear of showing himself vulnerable, his tone is calm but it could change to aggressive at any moment.

''Why are you doing this? Why are you being so... caring, so gentle? You've always been so relentless and fierce. Is there something more to you than you've shown me up until now?''

While he holds your hand, you know that one wrong answer would be enough for him to break your wrist.

The truth is that you don't know, that moment of serenity was created spontaneously, and you, who saw him as a tormented man with an enormous ego, decided to indulge and give him a light caress.

''No, of course not. I'm not hiding anything from you...I did it because I wanted to do it. I wanted to make you relax with me. That's all, If you didn't like it just say so, and I'll stop immediately."

He stares into your eyes, trying to find a hint of deception or manipulation, any evidence that you're trying to play games with him. But he sees nothing but sincerity in your gaze.

Then, in a sudden change of tone, he laughed at your expression, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, but not in anger. It's more of a challenge.

"Oh you cheeky little thing. So you think you can just waltz into my life and flip everything upside down, huh?''

''To be honest, you're the one who started being in my life. Wanting me as a fake girlfriend for you interview and then becoming so... clingy.'' you raise an eyebrow, quite amused, but you hear his tone being playful again, so you can resume your usual manners.

''Clingy, huh? Me? Let's be real now. I wasn't the one who decided to turn this arrangement into some sort of twisted romance. You're the one who keeps throwing these mixed signals out. How am I supposed to act?''

''Mixed signal? Oh you're terrible! As if I had a choice!'' you turn around a little with a mix of ridiculous amazement and disbelief.

He's putting the blame on you, how shameless!

He lets out a hearty laugh, a genuine amusement sparkling in his eyes at your indignation.

''Choice? Ophera, dear, you don't have any choice at all against my decision. But well, no one is forcing you to be here, to sit in this tub with me. You invited me. Don't deny it, you get some kind of kick out of our little games, I'm sure. Maybe you even enjoy being around me. Admit it.''

Still continuing this power play between the two of you, you get up from the water, and he remained seated. You turn a little in his direction, showing a sarcastic expression that has always distinguished you.

''Well, no. And you know what? I'm leaving. My decision. It's final.''

Despite his attempt to maintain a serious demeanor, a hint of excitement sneaks its way across his face. But still, he decides to play along with your little game.

''Hey, doll, wait a minute. Did I say you could leave?”

''Oh,I say so.''

Seeing your fearless expression, Homelander can't help but feel a mix of admiration and annoyance. No one else would dare to challenge him like this, but you are a different case.

''So you think you're in charge now?“

''For sure I am.''

Actually you're not at all, but you're having fun, you feel like you're playing with a lion. He could kill you, yes, but then he would miss your attention.

''I must remind you that just a few hours ago...'' you lower yourself a little, bending down to his level, water falling from your body and your black hair.

''...I killed that man without no effort at all? This makes me very dangerous, don't you think?'' you continue to joke with him, knowing well that that comparison doesn't make much sense.

Definitely, he's not a fan of being challenged, but he can't deny the thrilling feeling of your rebelliousness. He looks up at you, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Oh, you're definitely dangerous in more ways than one. But you claim to be a fiery spirit with the power to destroy me? How very interesting.''

Reaching out for you, he grabs your thigh and, remaining seated, he moves closer.

Placing a kiss on your hupper leg his eyes look up at you, glowing red.

''But don't get too cocky. Or I'll have to put you in your place. And believe me, I would do it with great, great, pleasure."

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Hope you enjoyed, feel free to leave a feedback, kisses! <3