#it’s so nice we can literally talk abt the same things for hours and hours and circle back to them and immediately jump back in

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[alittleemo]

genuinely love my friends so much <333 I love rehashing the same conversations over and over it literally never gets old :]

[urbanfiltered]

:-)

[youlooklikeasixtiesqueen]

here are all my thoughts and notes from purcon!! not formatted for tumblr but readable!!!

Day 1:

Opening:

everyone was so happy to be there, and so shocked how many people were there!!! 2500!!!

they showed vids before bringing everyone on stage and continued that throughout the panels. it's a cute touch

Misha auto:

he smiled and i got shaky knees and giggled like a 12 year old with a crush

jensen was at the table next to him!!

very quick but there was a huge line

he signed my book!!

i said "hi misha" and he said hi back

he looked at my destiel shirt and smiled :)

Ty & DJ:

started by telling us thank you for the congrats on their engagement

you can see how much they love each other!!! no pda but the way they look at each other!!

plus they both said multiple times that meeting each other was the best thing that happened

dj has been obsessed with eastenders since the 90s, never missed an episode

ty told everyone not to smoke cigarettes

dj had a glass of wine (it was 1pm)

left 5 mins early to get the Darius auto

Meeting Darius:

so nice and kind!! gentle vibes, literally what you would expect from misha's best friend

i was 2nd in line out of four people

four people in the autograph group so he talked to us all for about 15 minutes as a group

he signed his name on the picture, then asked if misha was going to sign it as well. i said no so he asked if he could sign misha's name for him and we all laughed and i said yes and it literally looks like misha wrote it

he told us him and misha have a competition to see who can bring the other person to a bigger event - darius took misha to the oscars, misha took darius to meet zelensky, but now darius got invited to meet the pope!!

talked to us a bit about filmmaking and how the picture aspect is basically the same throughout film history, but sound changes every week

it took 26 weeks in post for the sound of metal to get the sound right

he's friends with emilia clarke??? and said that she was so upset over the got ending because so many babies have her character's name

he felt the spn ending was rushed

sooooo handsome in person and the nicest voice

darius is getting austrian citizenship bc his grandma was from austria but she had to flee

Mark:

only saw the last bit but he was of course wandering the crowd

talked a lot about mental health and how we're not alone

said the best place to have a panic attack is a spn convention

Sachin & Osric:

fun!! not that interesting but fun!!

sachin just learned about destiel. like minutes before the panel started

talked about being poc in the industry and how much better it has gotten

Jared:

it was fine but again not interesting

talked about pranks

talked about maybe being on the boys

talked about mental health

Misha & Jensen:

an hour late bc they made jensen do photos :(

they played the confession right before they walked on stage???

question queue was very long, they took about five or six not so great questions

someone asked what their fave gym equipment is (wtf) and misha said it's the towel to slap others on the butt with

but they were very fun!!

some people decided to tell a sob story at the mic which wasted time. like they know you love supernatural, they know you're nervous, you don't need to tell them.

they joked around a lot

three touches!! fingers, high five, hug!!!

you can just see how much they adore each other

darius was sitting on the steps but they wouldn't give him a microphone :( hopefully he'll come out at misha's panel tomorrow

Day 2:

Jared & Jensen VIP:

question abt Radio Company coming to Germany

Jensen says they're discussing it, his fave songs are Quarter To and City Grown Willow

Mario Kart characters - Jared Yoshi because he poops eggs, Jensen Blue Shell guy??, his 7yo plays Rosalina, JJ can beat him in Mario Kart now

Jared is 25% German (maternal grandpa)

Jensen wants to turn his next Purcon visit into a vacation

one person is talking so slowwwww

Jensen would want to reshoot Bugs without the bees

They had to do a bee allergy test where someone actually picked up a bee with tweezers and made it sting them

3 part question 🙄 with backstory 🙄 about their kids and if they can grow up normal and if they have a strategy if their kids read fanfic

Jensen played baseball in HS

His first school play was a musical

Mark:

thanked us for letting them do the panels in english without a translator

Crowley was more excited to spend time with Dean instead of being in Hell

Mark went upstairs and helped a fan who had a bad photo with Jared

Got a standing ovation

Ty & DJ:

DJ used anti wrinkle creme on his balls but he stopped when his doctor said it would make him infertile

Ty told us to listen to a 23yo Canandian who sounds like Johnny Cash (Colter Wall??? maybe??)

Ty listens to a lot of country, DJ doesn't really have strong feelings about music

DJ adopted a dog who pissed on his belongings for 10 years - he was supposed to live until about 2 bc of health problems

DJ says to watch the movie Overboard

several questions were asked yesterday

DJ, Ty, and Ty's daughters have matching tattoos (they got them drunk) it's a little skull

Sachin & Osric:

Osric is Timon, Sachin is Pumba

Misha:

couldn't do notes bc i was in line!! wasn't picked tho, because everyone rushed to the microphone before the last panel was over

one person spent five minutes monologuing

misha said people should ask him questions on their knees

Bishagate reference!! He asked a girl if she was coming out as an alien and she said "that's rich coming from you", Darius laughed so much (while he was still on the stairs)

Compared whipped cream to cum

Darius was on stage!!

Jared:

greeted us with Guten Abend, Guten Tag, and howdy y'all

said it's not a goodbye to spn, it's a see you later

said swan song was easier than sacrifice bc he was lucifer for swan song so he had to act... reminder: that's his job...

first question was not a question

second question was a prank question

trivializing the thing where jared put coins in misha's car!!! wtf

praising mark p ew

woman keeps talking about her alarm sound which is german dean

called out a woman's shirt that says "save an impala, ride a winchester"

looks like jared will be on the boys, he basically confirmed it

he likes mountains more than beaches

says they might do a beach episode in the future

talking about the finale and the dean death scene

wants to bring jdm to the next con

Jensen:

GIANT line to ask a question

first woman named her kid Dean Jensen

hates toy slime bc it's all over his house

danneel moves a creepy doll around the house to mess with jensen

question abt cas in the winchesters and cas returning!! how to address the confession!! jensen thinks the confession was a long time coming and beautiful and raw and real!! dean understands cas loved him!! said cas saying he loves dean was clear text (rather than subtext) said cas and jensen found each other and when they meet again cas' feelings are just understood

says demon dean is stronger than soldier boy bc demon dean has no soul

boys question - jensen talks about herogasm, jack quaid just told jensen good luck when he went on set, nobody on set knew what was lube and what was hand sanitizer, he was unprepared to see so many naked people, he was standing next to a guy when the robes came off and he "had to do the glance", couldn't help looking at people having sex "there's four people here in a position i've never seen before"

woman crying while asking a question

woman said dj said he wanted to exchange his husband for jensen, and jensen said he doubts it because ty is pretty great

woman telling bad jokes, one about how women having orgasms is like a snowstorm because you can't see it coming?? not true for either i think

jensen needs to do more solo panels. i could listen to him talk for hours

i can't believe i was in the same room as this man wtf

[stellas-starry-stories13]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA MATCHUPSSS

I'm a girl and I'm looking for a pjsk matchup!

my personality?? um, god I'm an annoying motherfucker. when I find someone who's willing to listen, I will yap for hours about my interests. I have hpd, bpd(?), and adhd which is super duper fun totally 😐 but I think I'm funny maybe idk? I'm really insecure and I like actually can't find anything good about myself 😓 maybe I'm a fast learner? I'm sort of a nerd like, I'm in accelerated math 🤓

things I'm most sensitive to? idk what this means but ig I hate bugs and clowns and vomit and that shit. also when my s/o isn't giving me attention I would literally start screaming crying shaking.

my number one talent is simping. 💀 I have a shrine for 2 different people and when I have a crush on someone they're all I talk about 😭

my hobbies are drawing, writing, playing pjsk, and screaming lyrics of songs I like really loudly. I've also been getting back into dance lately that's pretty sigma. age range is 13-15 and there are no characters i don't want to be matched up with

what i want in an s/o? think of seo changbin from skz 🤩 jkjk (only slightly) i want a s/o thats nice to me, is at least slightly taller than me, (5'4), is funny, has decent fashion sense, and a real nice voice (but I suppose that's all the pjsk boys..)

what i don't want in an s/o is as I stated earlier, someone who doesn't give me attention, someone who puts me down, someone who brushes off my interests, and someone with a bad hairstyle /hj

yeah ty!! if this ask gets sent into the void I WILL cry!!!

' . < Project sekai matchup No. 1~! > . '

A/N: omg you do good in math??? You sound like a good s/o already. Girl if you like think think im sure you can find good stuff abt you. Liiiike you have a nice humor you made me crack a smile several times while reading this. Also idk youre just a fun person. ADHD? I xan relate. Its not confirmed but i probably do have it. Liek seriously whenever im doing my my math i just randomly start daydreaming and my mom always has to snap me back to reality. Thankfully she finds it funny lol and doesnt scold me for it. Also we're the same height so yay. Also same age range. We kin eachother fr.

Anyway! For the grand reveal, I match you up with....

` . < Rui~! > . '

A/N: Im sorry when you said you want someone who shows you attention i immediately thought of rui.

He will listen to every single detail of your rambles about your interests

Honestly finds it adorable

As someone who also rambles a lot about his own interests, he can relate

He understands that you have hpd and will give you all the attention in the world if you so desire

I like to think he will be very physically affectionate. With this mam, how could you NOT get all the attention in the world??

Finds your 'annoying' personality endearing

Sometimes just watches you draw over your shoulder without saying a word and then you just turn around and see him there and be like 'wth did you come from??'

Asks you to draw him

Loves to just watch you and observe you dance. Might even ask for you to teach him on of your dances. (Idr if it its canon that wxs dances but they prolly do, so)

Def teaches you one of the dances he performs

Im not sure if he has a decent fashion sense.. Idk depends ony our perspective

His voice though? Its the definition of nice. Like out of all the boys his is gentle and smooth. Sounds nice to me

[sollucets]

get to know me tag

as tagged by @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, and @troubled-mind! thank u everyone 💜🥰

do you make your bed? literally never!

what's your favourite number? 52. i picked it as a child and i don't remember why, but it pleases me still

what is your job? i'm a humble lil grocery store employee

if you could go back to school, would you? if i could quit my job and go to school and still have my same money, then yes, i should think so, but that's super not happening! it might be nice to have a second degree. i think history would be fun

can you parallel park? yes i can! i used to have to do it every day to park in front of my last house. >:c

a job you had that would surprise people? i think all of my jobs have been either rather generic or right on the nose for what people would expect of me so probably not. i was a nighttime gas station attendant for a fair bit of college, which could be a surprise i guess? everyone always goes ":0 but werent you scared????" and like, no, not most of the time, but sometimes you do it scared yknow

do you think aliens are real? yes, but real in a way that there are many real things i can't see and don't understand (protons, gender, etc)

can you drive a manual car? i could do that once and probably still can, but it's been a long long time since i practiced

what's your guilty pleasure? as far as media goes, i do my very best not to have things like this. if i feel bad about liking it i generally do not like it for very long. i would say the closest is being into kpop, but it's not like i keep that a secret, i just dont really want to engage with kpop fandom, so i dont often post or talk about it publicly. a real guilty pleasure is that i like cherry pepsi too much

tattoos? i have one; he's on my left forearm & he's an abstract little spaceman with a fern for a head. i call him my cosmonaut. i have plans for more but i never have the time or money lately

favorite color? we know this one already surely. 💜

favorite type of music? ohh, i don't like to discriminate hehe. my very favoritest songs usually have fun harmony or funky rhythms, though, and it's best if i can sing along

do you like puzzles? sure! i used to have a book of fairy puzzles when i was a kid that i love dearly even now

any phobias? i am afraid of all bugs, but i can be a grownup about most kinds of them. i Cannot be a grownup about moths or centipedes, which i am terrified of (using those words will cause this post to be filtered for me on tumblr). i try not to kill them if i can avoid it, since it isnt their fault i'm like this, but i,,, i really can't, i'm useless if i see one. when id find centipedes in my room at my last house i wouldnt be able to sleep.

favorite childhood sport? i did tennis all of middle and high school, explicitly because of ryoma echizen prince of tennis lol. i was on varsity! i also figure skated as a kid. both are still fun when i get the chance

do you talk to yourself? oh yes all the time. i keep odd hours so i used to accidentally wake my roommate cause i just kind of absentmindedly chatter abt everything

what movies do you adore? i am not really a movie person if i'm perfectly honest; i don't watch them often as an adult. from my childhood my favorite movies were kenneth branagh much ado about nothing, the princess bride, pokemon 2000, and return of the king

coffee or tea? neither, i dont like most hot drinks. apple cider is ok now and again but i usually drink it cold, and im horribly picky about hot chocolate

first thing you wanted to be growing up? i changed this answer all the time as a kid and i have records of me doing so in my old notebooks lol! answers i know about include "pilot", "author", "dragon", and "eowyn"

this one seems like it might be a little personal so im shy to tag people hehe. go ahead and put me down if you want to do it though; i will be happy to know :)

[lukkabloom]

Fun facts abt residents & castle trio according to Ikevamp Radio (ヴァンなま) Part 6

Episode 23: It's backkk!!

(I decided to put timestamps so ppl can watch/skip certain sections if they want to)

So apparently Morishi has officially taken over Makki’s role as MC as Makki is nowhere to be found haha.

Anyways we literally have 3 special guests in this video Horie Kazuma (Comte’s VA), Kamio Shinichiro (Faust’s VA), and Kijima Ryuichi (Charles’s VA) bc they’re celebrating Comte’s JP route release & the start of Act 2 of the game

Kijima & Morishi gives off the same vibes lol

Morishi introduces Faust’s character profile. The four start talking abt how if there was a person like Faust irl, they would not want to be friends w him even when he is good-looking

(38:00) There’s a new (?) segment called “Faust & Charles, What would you do?” where you (MC) are placed alone w Charles/Faust in a certain situation, and then the VAs will say the line out

The situation for Faust’s is… “you are falsely accused of stealing an art piece in a museum and are feeling down. Watching you, Faust says something to you. What does he say?” the options that the audience votes for are 1. “If you are feeling guilty for your crimes, I’ll listen to what you have to say… Haha, I’m kidding. If you continue to look so down, I’ll bully you even more” 2. “I know that you are innocent, but your struggling expression is  nice, too” 3. “It’s cheap! It’s cheap! The tuna’s cheap! Miss, if you have time to contemplate, go buy our tuna!” If the people can vote on the correct answer, the VA will say the line, but if they choose the wrong line, Horie will say the line instead (not as Comte but as a random dude)

(41:20) Option 2 was chosen, and it was not the correct, so Horie said funnily lol. Kamio says that the viewers are kinda dumb (baka)

(42:58) Morishi has Kamio say Faust’s line, so he says line 1 anyways

So apparently, there’s a second situation haha. Setting #2 is “It’s been around an hour deciding which glasses would fit you the most. You can’t decide which one would be the best. Faust says one thing while watching you struggle. What does he say?” 

The options are 1. “It's cheap! It’s cheap! The squid’s cheap! What about you use the squid-ring-fries as your glasses?” 2. “What about it? It’s one possibility to match glasses with me” 3. “How long are you going to ponder on for? Your face will not change, so just be who you naturally are” 

(45:34) The chosen line is… the third one!! Kamio says it yayy!!

(46:24) Onto Charles’s situation #1!! “An illness? It might be the flu… You’re not at your best and you zone out for a bit. Watching you, Charles tells you something. What does he say?” 1. “Are you okay? Here, come on my bed. Lay down, I’ll give you a hug… I’ll warm you up.” 2. “You’re sick? Then I’ll catch it for you. Get better soon” 3. “Why’re you catching a cold! If you have the time to catch a cold, you should finish making this sashimi!”

Horie will be reading the line if the audience chooses the incorrect one. (I feel like Kijima will be reading the legit one either way lol)

(48:30) The chosen one was… the first one!! Which was the correct one, therefore we get good voice lines :)) 

(49:13) Horie says the sashimi line haha

(49:45) Situation no 2 is “You’re eating out with Charles. You casually say ‘What really is love…?’ Replying, Charles says something. What does he say?” 1. “Hmm… I don’t really know, but is it love when I want to eat you? I don’t mind if you take a bite off of me.” 2. “What is love? Why don’t you try to find the answer… with my body.” (OMG I CANT THERES NO WAY I TYPED THAT lemme wash my hands and eyes) 3. “What is love? I don’t know. Go ask Nishino Kana or something! You wanna see me so much that you’re shaking? Then I’m shaking all year! I’m dying from the cold in the summer!” HAHAHA

(51:17) the correct answer was… answer 1!! Which was chosen as well

(51:57) Horie’s version AHHAHAHH he says line 3 he’s so funny

We get more lines from the two VAs since we got them correct (ignoring the mistake on Faust’s first one) (53:02) Faust says “Hmm? You have good instincts. I’m more curious about you. I’ll adore you like a guinea pig, so just roll around on my palm.” (53:57) Charles’s line “I had a feeling you were able to understand me. From now on, let’s spend a lot of time together. And then… you can love me even more”

(58:39) “I love yu” segment woooo. It’s a conversation between Faust and Charles, so no Sebas or Comte. (Wait they have baths at the castle?? Why am I surprised at this point)

Charles: “Doctor~ Would you like me to wash your back?” Faust: “I’ll be leaving” Charles: “Wait! Wait! Since we're together, let’s hang out.” Faust: “...How many times have you done that when I’ve been bathing? There are others who are willing to spend the night with you or hang out with.”

Charles: “Sigh, I had a feeling you were going to say that, so I’ve hidden the Doctor's clothes. If you leave the bath, you’ll be out naked” Faust: “Doing something without my permission… Well, the only people living here are men, so a single towel would do. I’ll be leaving.” 

Charles: “Wait! I got a message from Lord Vlad. He said ‘It’s the first time this castle’s bath-situation will be released. Be nice to the young ladies across the screen’” (So Vlad’s like Sebas that he can break the 4th wall… hmmmm) Faust: “‘the ladies across the screen?’ Oh, so that’s what that means. That old goat has finally gone senile, hasn’t he?” (the way Faust calls Vlad an old goat “じじい” is way ruder than I thought he says in Eng) Charles: “Kings are a bit different than us, so I don’t know what he’s saying either.”

Faust: “By the way, Charles, I smell a hint of blood on you. Did you attack someone today?” Charles: “I didn’t attack them! I just bit them and made them feel good.” Faust: “to feed off of them as an act of service…” Charles: “To me, that’s the same thing as an act of love. When do you feed off others, Doctor?” Faust: “When I feel like it, I’ll look for an opening and bite. That’s all. If they have interesting traits, then more the reason” (“interesting traits” may not be a good translation. Faust said 捕食対象 which is like traits of prey, kind of?? A bit difficult to translate)

Charles: “I’m curious what kind of person the Doctor's attracted to…”

Charles wants Faust to flirt w the audience or else he’ll sell Faust’s clothes out (Charles doesn’t know there’s an audience he just says ‘there’s someone out there that might be interested’) they say their lines (1:02:25) Faust & (1:02:57) Charles

Charles asks Faust if his glasses don’t cloud over the bath. Faust: “that’s a taboo question”

(1:09:20) Kamio: “Are you guys stupid??” LMAO when the audience doesn’t get the answer right

(1:22:44)”I love yu” segment w Comte & Sebas! The theme of today’s episode is “Teach me Comte! Secrets of an adult!”

Sebas: “Hmmm… I thought I heard a conversation from another bath that was not ours… Was that my imagination?” Comte: “You’re spacing out. Is something the matter, Sebas?” Sebas: “Right, I’m sharing a celebratory bath with Comte today, but to think I’ve been wondering about other people’s bathing situations…” 

Comte: “Celebratory? Is there something worth celebrating?” Sebas: “Of course there is! Congratulations on your route release, Comte.” *clap, clap*

Comte: “Route release? That’s an unusual word. What do you mean by that?” Sebas: “What are you joking about? You were happy when we were celebrating the other’s route release! Finally, the Comte’s secret is to be revealed, and I’m so dyungyun excited.” 

Comte: “Was there ever so much excitement concerning myself?” Sebas: “Yes, yes. Your past, for example.” Comte: “Born a noble, grown as a noble” Sebas: “Your relation with the pureblood, for example” Comte: “Oh, Vlad, right? He is an old acquaintance of mine.” Sebas: “Your previous relationships, for example” Comte: “Haha. Relationships, huh? A past lover once or twice. Something everyone is familiar with”

Sebas: “It’s as if you’re answering, but we’re not gaining any information, Comte. This just makes me more curious about your route”

Comte: “My past aside, I want to cherish the time that we spend in the mansion.” Sebas: “Of course. It’s not the mansion without you, Comte. Moments of kindness, moments of strictness, not forgetting the punishments on the residents when they’ve done something bad. What you would expect from the mansion’s papa.” Comte: “Haha. It’s not like I was planning to become a papa. The residents are filled with those who have strong characters.” Sebas: “They are unique, you can say. However, there are other moments where you show your ‘papa-ness’”

Comte: “Like when, for example?” Sebas: “According to my observations, when you send her a mountain of dresses and you’re caring for her, your ‘papa-ness’ is at its max” Comte: “I-is that so? I’m the one who brought her here to the 19th century. It bothers me sometimes. But being called a ‘papa’ gets me.”

(1:27:35) Sebas’s line (1:28:14) Comte’s line (i usually dont translate these lines cuz they’re so long sorry)

(1:29:10) Sebas calls Comte an “adult celebrity”

Another new segment called “Butler Skill: Improvement Lesson” where everyone will practice certain skills, which in this episode, is improving the skill of drawing. Morishi will draw Horie, Horie will draw Kijima, Kijima will draw Kamio, and Kamio will draw Morishi. They will try to draw each other as cute as possible. Presents each other’s drawings at (1:32:47) 

Good night voices start at (1:43:35) with Sebas, Comte, Faust, and Charles in this order

[surrealsunday]

hey jaime, how are you??

i just come by to wish you a happy new year! (kinda late but it’s still january so it still counts 😌) i hope you have a great end of 2023 :))

also with a friend we were talking and we suddenly thought abt punzel!lucas/elu and we were wondering how these two lovebirds were doing and what would they be up to now, according to you 🤔👀 lowkey miss them now ngl sjdbdh (as well as the canon version of course)

can you believe this year is marking the five years of skam france s3, 5 YEARS OF ELU…

BTW HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW MAXEL CONTENT RECENTLY??? well literally all january we were being fed really well (individually and tgt) 😌 AND WE ALSO GOT MAXEL SELFIES IN BIG 2024 I VANT STOP SMILING THINKING ABT IT (sorry i’m freaking out again sjdbdh) their friendship is just so special and warms my heart sm every time it crosses my mind 💙

anyways i’ll stop my rant bc otherwise i could go on for hours 😭 wish you a wonderful evening/day and sending you lots of hugs and strength and luck 🫶🏻

Marieeeeee hiiiiiiiiii 😊❤️❤️❤️❤️!!! It was so nice to see a message from you! And a happy new year to you too!

I'm ok - I both can't believe it's gonna be the end of January and also can't believe it's still January 😂. Work has not stopped being insane since I took over this new position but I'm thankfully still loving it. And I'm especially loving living in a place where I am no longer dealing with -40 celcius through the winter 😅. I hope your holiday season and start of the new year has been going fabulously for you!

And 5 years? 5 YEARS?! How is that even possible omg 😭😭😭. That calls for a rewatch, I think. My babies 🥹. And the Maxel content yessss! I love you for linking posts thank you! One of my friends thankfully sends me things because I would end up missing them on social media otherwise. Honestly the joy their friendship brings me. 5 years and those boys are still tight. I love them so much. Also the fact that Rocco was looped into their little friend group and we have actual pics of Maxence with Rocco AND Axel? Truly... life has been good to us 😌😂.

And Punzel babies? Well, they're living their happy life together in their flat. Eliott definitely refers to Lucas as his husband even though - as Lucas insists - they're too young to get married. Eliott thinks that's nonsense because he's been waiting what amounts to their entire lives and obviously they're going to be together for life anyways. But for that same reason, he's not too fussed about it - official papers or not, they are married in his mind. They've definitely added to their little fam and have a cat in addition to their pup Pascale. The cat absolutely rules their home (as cats are known to do) and is the only one who can get Pascale to stop being mouthy (Huskies you know 😂). Lucas would definitely complain the cat doesn't like him and play up that they have some sort of nemesis relationship. Only Eliott has caught Lucas curled up asleep on the couch with the kitty on his chest wrapped up in his arms more than once. Eliott would be a little jealous about the fact that he's the one who dotes on the kitty but she still seems to be an utter suck for Lucas... only, he's the exact same way so he can't blame her 😌. Second to Lucas, her fave is Idriss. Because this cat has ✨taste✨. I'm trying to think what they would name their kitty... probably something Rapunzel adjacent because they're saps... but I don't have a name popping to mind just yet.

And of course there are the fun dynamics of their relationship that they will probably always be figuring out. Like Lucas realizing (and relishing) in the power he has over Eliott and the way he can make Eliott's brain short circuit in any variety of ways (like saying something incredibly explicit in the middle of much more innocent activities like cooking dinner). Then Eliott will remember he no longer holds his Punzel in the 'look but don't touch' category and things work out quite nicely for both of them 😌. Basically... they're living their best lives figuring out adulthood and now jobs together ❤️.

Sending you all the love and hugs back!

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

[chryzuree]

i’m nosy asf actually so i wanna hear your answer for gorgeous 🫵

gorgeous; what do you like in a person?

this is going to be very generic & include things that might be more platonic versus romantic, BUT i rlly rlly like ppl that can talk abt their interests & also listen to me talk abt my interests!! being passionate and also excited abt other ppl’s passions is sooo appealing to me!!! also, i have found that i feel a bit awkward and guilty whenever i’m the only one that rants, and i’ll also feel real frustrated when ppl don’t listen to me rant.

i also rlly like ppl that are super nice and don’t… expect too much?? if that makes sense?? like in a demanding way! for example, when i’m rlly exhausted and annoyed, i can say that i’m rlly exhausted and annoyed and i want to be alone, and that person will understand.

ALSO, I NEEEEEED PPL THAT ARE FRIENDLY AND FUNNY AND OUTGOING 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 esp since i’m super solitary at times (i only hang out w juno a lot bc we are literally in the same household..). i will assume that nobody wants to be around me ever & vice versa if ppl aren’t outgoing!!

& someone will always have a leg up on getting close to me if we’re willing to do away with the conventions of small talk abt hour two of meeting each other. obvi small talk can be useful, but… yes, please do tell me the top five funerals you’ve gone to and why… i’m very fascinated 😍

i also love readers?? a lot?? like ppl don’t need to be reading 100 novels a year or anything, but someone that i can talk to abt books in general are nice. would prefer if they aren’t into ya though, on account of the fact that i have some scathing opinions on the matter & i don’t want to hurt their feelings ;;;;;;;;;;;;

AND A GOOD COMMUNICATOR. GOD ALMIGHTY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hey Dani, a little rant cuz I don't have anyone I can talk to abt this lmao.

Little background because I think it all factors in d problem

My mom is not that well educated, She can't speak English very well and it's her biggest insecurity specially because we live in a city and a society that gives it soooo much importance. She never pursues any interest. Had an arranged marriage and she always says she feels very lonely. Lmao while I'm writing this I realise I wanna tell u so much but il try to keep it short.They are both nit that physically well. Mom's got hepatitis B, dad's got diabetes and stuff.

She has many friends but like they are all typical gossip aunties, even my mom is one haha. My dad on the other hand is well, more educated, goes to the office and stuff but he's VERY introverted, doesn't talk much at all, you literally have to beg him and like coax stuff out of him which can get super tiring and annoying ngl. Today, they fought again and their topic is always the same

Mom- I AM ALONE ALL DAY AT HOME, I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TOA DN THEN U COM FROM OFFICE AND JUST GO AND WATCH TV AND YOU UUST TALK ABT WORK BLAH BLAH

I have tried to talk to my dad and well he says he ll work on it but he never does or maybe he just can't so I tried to tell my mom to try new things independently and not depend on my dad so much. Obviously neither of them listen to me but they make me losten to their shitt. I'm just so tired at this point. Don't know what to do. Today my mom said that if this goes on, either one us (mom or dad) will not remain. And I'm like wow dude such a nice thing to say after coming back from 5 hrs of college and 4 hours of travelling with no food.

At this point, Idk who's wring or who's selfish. Me, my mom, my dad or all 3 of us. Thank god my brother is not involved in dis shitt.

Oh, sweetie, this is such desi daughter trauma and i am so sorry that you're caught in the middle of it.

I'm proud of you for protecting your brother and for trying to do something about it.

But it's not your job to fix your parents' marriage but i totally understand why you feel the need to do so.

Something that might help (and definitely helped for me) is to help your mom find some hobbies that might make her feel less lonely. It should be something new and something she'll enjoy and something she can look forward to.

A lot of our moms don't have a life of their own (because they were told their life is about caring for someone else) so their loneliness is very valid - but, i repeat, not your responsibility.

Something you can also do is perhaps organize some kind of activity you all do as a family together at least once a week (yes this is a headache i know), it could be cooking a meal together or watching some stupid reality show (this is what we did at home) and or just whatever that comes to mind.

You're not selfish at all. I hope this doesn't interfere with your studies. If it does, PLEASE tell your parents about it. Sometimes parents stop fighting when they realize it's affecting your grades (desi math istg).

Sending lots of love!

[skitskatdacat63]

okay, i don't know why, but i have ALWAYS been like you described. i have so many movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, songs, etc that i want to experience but do i? nope, just put on another F1 race, please. i don't know if it's fear of the unknown (hello, flood of unexpected emotions!) or not wanting to challenge myself or also wanting to watch F1 and F1 just wins out, but here we are. i suspect it's part of my OCD? or some other ND thing that hasn't been diagnosed in me yet??

in fact prolly the only reason i watch F1 is bc i watch it with my sister. it is a lot easier to do new stuff with someone else...which deludes me into believing that if i just got a partner, we could open the floodgates and watch everything i haven't seen together, but lord knows it don't work that way 😑 in any case, i don't know what's wrong with us, but you're not alone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! 💕💕

(Reply ramble under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected)

I think I just struggle to start anything new or to finish anything. I totally agree with what you said about it being the fear of unexpected emotions/the unknown! Like for race seasons for example, I just spent a significant amount of time immersed in 2005 which is a specific set of information(you know: rules, strategy, drivers, etc.), so to start a new season would be a completely different set of info. As I said in my earlier tags, some part of me likes the anticipation more and also I always get way too hyper about things and that energy is overwhelming 😓 And I also feel like I have a fear about how much time I'm going to spend(which is stupid because I'll spend like way too much time aimlessly scrolling for the same amnt of time it'd take to watch a race.) Like the idea of specifically putting aside two hours to do only one thing is stressful to me, which is why I often used to like watching races when I literally couldn't do anything else(waiting for a class.) But now I'm stuck back in the cycle of not wanting to start something new, even if 2009 isnt exactly new because I've watched a lot of racing at this point, but still new enough to me that it's hard to convince my brain to start it. Like once I get into the groove of things, I can float through and enjoy myself, it's just that beginning barrier that's hard to get through.

I also definitely agree with having to watch it with someone else. I either have to binge watch things super quickly or watch them with other people, if not, I'll just end up never starting it or abandoning it. I think it's because it's really nice to be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings abt it with another person and not just be stuck with a million thoughts bouncing around your head(which is why I tend to make posts and then rant in the tags LOL)

I think thats why ive been able to get into F1 to such an extent and why it's been so fun for me. It's a live experience(with a strict time constraint, i.e. you can only watch it right here, right now) where there's a bunch of people watching and interacting. I love tumblr during a race weekend so much, I don't think I'd be obsessed with it as much if not for the ability to see everyone's reactions and interact back with them. I think that's why I struggle to start old seasons, because it's literally just me obsessing alone in my room and I can't talk about it to the extent that I can with the current season. Watching F1 as it goes along in a current season is just a perfect experience I guess, because the schedule pushes me along and I don't really have to rely on myself to keep going.

But yeah who knows!! Brain just being brain as always I guess, but it is annoying that it prevents us from doing things we want to do! But I will say, still, its so stupid that I procrastinate over watching 10 minute long YouTube vids LMAO, like pls I get the hesitation with a 2 hour race, 2 hour movie or 100k fic but, 10 minutes, seriously brain???

[linabirb]

OK OK SO. 3 16 24 (i was LITERALLY gonna ask abt 6 and 7 but taru beat me to it LMAOAOAOAO) ummm i wanna see for twst and milgram pls <3

HEHEHEHEHE thank you for sending these sol!!

3. "screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr"

twst: OHHHHHH THERE'S A LOT. but i'll keep it short. again, that one bday vignette line and also people saying that riddle will grow up just like his mother despite the character development he got. that one hurts me so much because again, i had said it many times, i have anger issues myself and one of the many reasons why i like riddle is because of how much i relate to him and because he feels so human and not just. you know. "haha angy boi". so seeing things like "ohhh he should never have children because he will treat them like he was treated when he was little" is so. painful.

milgram: tbh there's so many that my brain just kinda refuses to process them anymore ALSO SINCE THE FANDOM IS KINDA SMALL. I FEEL LIKE ALL THOSE POSTS ARE EASY TO FIND but again i'll keep it short: mahiru is NOT a stalker/kidnapper/etc, stop saying she is, she literally said she's not one and i doubt it was a lie and also hhhhhhh i have my. own opinion about whatever is going on with kazui but i don't wanna go into detail but basically. before he himself said that his crime wasn't related to cheating, there were some people who were like.. very passionate about voting him guilty because he's a cheater and like. i'm sorry this is so funny to me like we have a guy who killed a child and MANY different animals, we have a guy who cyberbullied a teenage girl into committing suicide, MIKOTO, SHIDOU LITERALLY ASKED "WHICH ONE" AFTER HE GOT A QUESTION ABOUT HIS VICTIM(S) and cheating is where you draw the line?? 😭😭 ah and also whoever says that it was his wife's fault <3 i'm in your walls right now.

16. "you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)"

twst: HMMMMM LET ME THINK ABOUT IT. okay okay let's see. well, first of all, i'm not a fan of the time loop theory simply because i'm not a fan of time loop tropes in general. i'm pretty sure there was a time (i think it was like.. late 2000's-early 2010's? maybe even earlier) where like ALMOST EVERY SINGLE VISUAL NOVEL, GAME, ANIME, MANGA, ETC (but especially vns), used that trope AND I HATED IT SO MUCH. i love it when time loops are used to make a character go through the same painful event over and over again to completely change their character, but most of the time (haha get it) time loops feel like.. basically it's like writers use them to just explain everything that doesn't exactly make sense in-universe. why does this character say mc looks familiar to them and doesn't elaborate? well that's because they've seen them before in previous loops! why does mc know how this world works even though they've never been there? well that's because time loop! why do these two characters are in love with each other even though they've never even talked? well that's because they were in love in previous loops! i can talk about my hatred for that trope for hours, honestly.

okay, let's talk about characterization. tbh there's not much i can say because.. let's be honest, even though twst characters are definitely deep and interesting and fun, their personalities feel a bit "limited"(?) mostly because of their disney counterparts or because of how strong certain traits of their personalities are. and i'm not complaining.. mostly. i really wish some characters had more personality traits. but what i really hate is when some writers just.. throw away all the "ugly" or "unlikeable" traits of those characters to make them more "imagines-friendly". like i'm sorry, but sometimes i just read some fics and go "he would NOT say that". i know that people love the "OH BUT HE'S NICE TO Y/N" trope, i use it too sometimes, but like.. some people just really forget that this game is about characters who are literally based on disney villains. like it's okay, let them have flaws. and i don't mean those flaws that are like "omg he's so shyyyy >///<" or "hehe he can ramble a lot <3" NO. I MEAN ACTUAL FLAWS.

milgram: it's okay. it's okay guys. i promise it's okay that somebody can't see that character being gay or ships them with someone of an opposite sex. it's okay. and that's coming from someone who has almost no straight ocs.

like, listen, i'm a 0104 shipper. i see their relationship as romantic but i absolutely have nothing against platonic interpretations. but when people see something like ship art and go "muu is literally a lesbian btw" i'm like. i have so many hcs too but it's one thing to say that "hey i think this headcanon is very plausible and i think it's very neat" and to go "IT'S LITERALLY CANON" unironically and not as a joke. like idk, i'm just that kind of person who has lots of headcanons but until i see them actually being confirmed, i won't try to make people change their mind. (and just so you know i'm not trying to deny that she's attracted to girls. she has that vibe and she literally says "i love you" when she sees a girl and her pupils become bigger like?? but come on. it's okay for people to ship her with a male character until she literally says that she's not into boys in canon)

kazui is a whole different thing, i really was interested in the whole "yeah he's gay actually" theory and i love the memes, but now that people are saying it's "officially" canon and lowkey just. kinda being annoying, yeah, i don't even want to look at the tag anymore because i want to see actual theories and i don't want to see another "yeah he's gay so vote him inno". i'm not here to say that it's a dumb reason to forgive him, since we are literally allowed to have all kinds of reasons to forgive a character, but i think it's a weird thing to say when this guy really does seem like a very deep character, but i can't take him seriously anymore because of those theories that don't even sound like theories (and i mean it in a bad way and not bc they sound so canon)

24. "topic that brings up the most rancid discourse"

twst: honestly, this fandom mostly has like.. people-related drama, like this artist/writer/etc did something problematic, things like that. but i think if i had to choose a topic that annoys me the most.. these two topics kinda go together but i'll start with mc's gender. it actually doesn't get discussed that often, since we're supposed to see them as a self-insert, but i've really seen people say things like "mc is obviously supposed to be female" or "mc is obviously supposed to be male", etc.

i'm not going to pretend that i don't have my own opinion and i'm going to say that tbh i see twst mc as being male (one of the reasons why my mc is a guy), but that's mostly just because i usually prefer to play as a guy when it comes to games like that. (honestly if i have a choice, i choose fem mcs very rarely, stelle is like one of the few exceptions) however, i never try to prove why i'm right, i just kinda go "eh you do you". but i'm not gonna lie, those who believe that mc is female are the most annoying ones, like i get it, of course, a large part of twst fandom are women who are attracted to men, but also. there are. so many otome games. no literally a huge reason why i often don't feel comfortable playing otome games is because I HAVE NO IDEA WHY but i really just don't want to play as a girl and i don't want those characters to see my mc as a girl. (i rarely see my mc as a self-insert btw and almost always see them as their own character) LIKE I DON'T KNOW CAN'T PEOPLE WHO SEE THEIR MCS AS MALE/NB HAVE SOMETHING. like i literally love twst and obey me (i really should play it more often but again. my phone doesn't like it and idk if it will run on my tablet) exactly because of how "genderless" their mcs feel and that i can just see them as whatever gender i want them to be. and idk it just.. doesn't feel good when people are trying to remind me that "btw mc is obviously supposed to be a girl" especially when i already kinda know that considering the audience/demographic.

the second topic was probably more popular to discuss when i first got into the game and when it first came out: character x mc or character x character. i was a big character x character enjoyer and didn't really care about character x mc at first until i got interested in riddleyuu and malleyuu. but yeah, watching those sides fight was like. guys you both are losing. like some character x character fans were being mean and hating on self-inserts and some character x mc fans were saying things like "y'all just want more guys to ship". and like. there's nothing wrong with both of those things like calm down. i still can see people arguing because of that, but i just try to ignore them now tbh.

milgram: *clicks on the tag* .. yeah whatever is going on right now.

[hanarchy]

really fascinating that it seemed to be so easy for you! stayblr is the most unapproachable fandom i've ever experienced in my time (and that were quite a lot of them actually). not in a mean way, people are nice on a surface level, but underneath it all it is very cliquey and such a tight-knit group that it's nearly impossible to befriend anyone. don't know where i'm going with this, i guess i'm just tired of being ignored when i've been making the first step countless times haha.

ah anon i’m sorry it’s been a bad experience for you :/

i’m gonna be honest here, i don’t talk to everyone who follows me and they don’t all talk to me. there’s people i’ve been mutuals with for a year now and we never talk and there’s people it clicked with immediately, like i hit follow and we had the first chat in the same hour.

there’s also people on here i have blocked and i’m sure a few have me blocked too. i’ve lost some mutuals and i broke off some of them for various reasons, one of the last ones was literally just that i don’t care abt txt that much and i was seeing a lot of them on my dash.

i think you’re right actually that it can be weirdly cliquey and i know that i’ve contributed to that in some ways. there’s certain attitudes i don’t share (some people really don’t like sexualising idols, i personally feel like that’s not an issue with grown men who are attractive for a living) and certain ones i do share (i don’t like self-insert fic). i think these things contribute to that.

i often feel that these disagreements are the surface level starts to the cliquey-ness. i ended up talking to a lot of people on here early on because i love complimenting people and i enjoy even the surface level stuff usually. but these disagreements are persistent and they do make it harder to make friends. most of the time we only talk once or twice and thats it. i don’t really know where i’m going with this either but i guess what i’m saying is like… i talk to 4 people on here regularly, that’s it.

i think some of these friendships can seem a lot deeper than they are because people tag each other and interact and i really like all the people i tag and i would and do call them my friends but please don’t think that it’s constantly going on outside of the dash. most of what you see on here is the whole extent of our interactions. like fundamentally i don’t know much about anyone on here. i love doing tag games and getting asks but i’m not likely to invite anyone here to my wedding (i’m literally the most single person alive and not looking but u get what i mean i think)

again i’m sorry that it’s not been good for you and if you ever wanna chat on or off anon, i would love to do that!

[szczekaczz]

1, 17, 38!

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

first and most important thing would be learning english at the age 12... because it truly opened so many opportunities it's crazy. being able to access the information from such many international sources and to read the points of view of everyone who too can speak english really broadens your horizons for sure. especially when you're from a rather small country :') not to mention all the books that are either extra expensive to get here or there are simply no translations available..... so yeah learning it so early was literally life-changing

second one.. or rather someone is my philosophy teacher from high school. at that time i saw a lot of myself in him and it gave me a much needed peace of mind that ppl like me can truly live the life that gives them happiness. philosophy was his true life passion and his lectures were filled with so much emotion and excitation, it was really freeing to see him talk so openly about something he loves and being madly respected by us for it. his second love was exactly one particular mountain range which he called his lover and hearing him talk about it too was wonderful... and he loved working with teens and was the most respectful adult towards them i have ever met, plus his honest curiosity towards what we think and wanting to truly understand what we mean were a very good lesson for learning patience and respect for others even if u think at first they're talking bullshit. i could talk abt him for hours so let's just summ up that seeing an adult aspie being happy and content with his life really gives you hope for the future when you're an angsty teen haha

three hmmm the plague dogs. especially the movie because i still can't bring myself to actually read the book ending [*] but the ending is one of the reasons why i find it so important <3 because this book/movie shaped a lot of my art preferences and art is important for me sooo... it has just the right level of anthropomorphication, dogs don't behave like they're literal people put into canine bod, as it sadly feels to me in most of the media, but there's this nice blend of dog and human way of thinking and perceiving the world. very interesting! the characters' relationships, the way snitter's hallucinations are described in the book, voice acting in the movie... and the ending feels like a perfect tragedy for me, meaning that i really can't see their fates ending in any other way they end. and i love a good tragedy haha, all enormously inspiring when it comes to creating my own works too <3

17. name 3 things that make you happy

1 dogs always forever.. my own dog, all the dogs i've ever known and formed a relationship with, learning about them in any way, observing them irl and on the vids other people take and share, talking about them, everything <333

2 birch trees, the amount of happiness i feel each and single time i see them is incomparable ;;❤️ i need to hug a birch really soon or i'll go crazy and i'm not joking

3 nature simply and living in city after many many years by the forest and meadows and in the quiet really made appreciate it even more. i've seen people calling it "small" joys in the "mundane" but for me it's truly big and special. rays of sunlight, the grass, the wind, the animals, everything... anything you can experience with any of your senses. if i had to define the meaning or the sense of my life it's experiencing as much of nature as i can <3 nothing heals more

38. fave song at the moment?

there's even a decent translation, would only change "not so much" into "so little" just for it to sound better, the meaning is the same. it may be corny or whatever, i didn't find such themes very personal in the past but a war in a neighboring country changes many things in one's perception of the world. it somehow comforts me these days :)

[cavefairy]

work (and also just. everything) sucked today wough. rlly rlly long vent under cut ig

tbh we shouldnt have even been open its a fucking holiday. it wasnt even that busy all things considered, but we were wildly understaffed (there was literally 5 of us in the entire arcade. which is the minimum we need to function. so already Not Good) and i was exhausted after staying up late last night. so i get there 20mins early, stop n chat with the person on dark ride (bc hes super nice and rlly good to talk to and i like working w him. he went home when i clocked in tho), and im having a decent day at that point. we had taken down the christmas stuff in the morning and toast had been extra vicious bc ig she wanted to play w all the ornaments n shit, but anyways. i kill time, then drop my shit under the golf shack counter and clock in. i havent even been in redemption for 2 minutes when one guy is like 'hey [person at laser tag] wants to know if youll head over to laser tag' and im like 'yeah okay' and i go over there and that person is going on her break. and the other person that was on laser tag swaps to dark ride. so im by myself, which isnt allowed, we have to have 2 people on laser tag at all times. so that... wasnt great. the other person thats supposed to be at laser tag was a few minutes late, but they were there in time for me to run the game that needed to start. so we're doing fine, we're alternating games, and then im like 'hey, im gonna take over dark ride when their shift over there is up' and the person with me just looks at me. and now im getting nervous like i fucked up. and they say to me 'well whos gonna be on laser tag then' and IM CONFUSED bc they were scheduled for laser tag and i dont understand what they mean. so i responded 'arent u scheduled over here' and they say 'yeah but i was gonna go to redemption with [person who had asked for me to come to laser tag] after her break'

and at that moment. im like. oh. we're gonna play musical shifts bc you two wanna work together. got it. so i dont argue it anymore bc i have a game to run and we cant discuss it anymore at that time. after i came out of that game, the guy who was on dark ride swapped with the person who was on break, and he went to redemption. so im still at laser tag with the same person. and we go back to our alternating games and talking shit abt the schedule bc HOLY FUCK. we cant be doing this with only 5 people. anyways, we do that for a while and then the person on dark ride asks if i can close it tonight. and im like yeah okay, i hate doing it but i can if i need to. and then instead of waiting until closer to 8 so im only there an hour, the guy that had started at laser tag comes back and asks me to head to dark ride at 630. so the person at dark ride goes to redemption, that guy goes back to laser tag, and everyone is technically where they were scheduled to begin with (dark ride is a 'you sign up for a shift during whatever ur scheduled for' so with me being technically scheduled for redemption i was also kinda supposed to swap out for dark ride at some point). and i hatehatehate dark ride. its loud. i need my earplugs in order to be near it. thankfully i usually have them, so i was okay, but i was running it for 2 and a half hours. 630 to 9, and we close at 9. it didnt go awfully, everyone that came thru was rlly nice and it was fairly chill. but then closing happened. now, one of the 5 people that were in arcade was one of the leads. i love her dearly, shes awesome, but she was scheduled to get off at 9, so she didnt help w closing stuff.

so the 4 of us remaining closed the whole arcade. i did all of dark ride's stuff, and gathered all of the arcade trash. and therein lies the biggest source of holy fuck i cried. because. not only is that like, 10 trashcans, but i kept running out of trashbags. so the first trashcan, it had soda in the bottom. no big deal, i just have to go dump it out and clean it (running a bit of water w soap into it and swooshing it around, and then drying it with a rag). okay, great. i get that, get thru a few more cans, and have to wash out another. the second one, i accidentally get some of the icky cleaner-water on my jeans and one of my shoes (my favorite sunflower slip-on vans). so that rlly just. put me right on the edge of my breaking point. i get thru the rest of arcade's trash EXCEPT for laser tag, and i run out of trashbags. all of them. and im like well what the fuck do i do now. so i ask the manager thats supposed to be closing us out (i like him, hes nice), and hes like 'go see if [place over by bowling area] has some'. so i go take 3 of their 4 remaining trashbags (had to grab one for the person who was cleaning the bowling area, she needed one), and take my 2 to laser tag to get their trash. lo and behold, a third trashcan i have to clean. im fucking DONE at this point. i cant do it anymore. my eyes start watering, im stomping into the kitchen to go clean it, the manager comes in and is grabbing something and i just. id started ranting out loud and tbh i dont think he minded i think he understood why but i was just like 'im done im quitting i cant do this anymore. i cant do it. today fucking sucked im done i cant do this' and then i started crying. the first time, anyway. hes nice abt it and he just gently asks me to turn the lights off when i leave the kitchen and its FINE its GREAT i take the now-clean trashcan back to the laser tag area and go to take the trash to the compacter. and man. there is a bigass pile of bags and boxes in front of the garage door where the compacter is. so i open the door to dump the trash in, and wow. the compacter is full. and not working. so i cant do anything. i go back, ask the manager, he says to just leave the trashbags on the pile and bring the big trashcan back to where it goes. so i do. and im upset and im done and im holding it in and he comes over to dark ride while im grabbing my bag and the walkie and he asks 'are you okay ?' and i just. snapped. i wish i hadnt said it the way i did but i just went 'no !' and the tears started up again. i was full-on fucking SOBBING at work. the person id been at laser tag with, one of my favorite people, she comes up to me bc im heading into redemption to put the walkie away, and she asks whats up and walks with me and lets me vent at her for a minute, and on the way out she stopped me and told me to breathe and talked me thru most of the tears and hyperventilating enough for me to talk clearly again. she hugged me and just let me cry for a sec and then made double sure i was okay to drive, and then we parted ways at the door. i headed to walmart cos i had to get stuff for my car (gotta change my oil this weekend), and walking around helped. i got a snack and things were alright for a while.

yeah. something else had to go wrong. abt 15 mins out i got a fucking flat tire. i live an hour from work. i was 45 minutes from home. and i stop, i look at the tire, yep its flat, and get back in the car to call dad. no answer. call mom, she answers. i apologized for waking her up, told her i had a flat, and she woke dad up to come take a look. she talked to me for the whole 45 minutes it took him to get to me. i ate my snack, told her abt work, and finally dad showed up. i let mom go back to sleep, and he looked at my tire, and yeah. it was unfixable, at least in the dark. hes gonna have to go rescue my car and take it to get new tires tomorrow (technically, today. all the car shit went down at 11pm. its currently about 130am). we just got all my important stuff out and locked it, and left it where it was bc we couldnt fix my tire. he drove me home, and here we are. im exhausted, im gonna sleep in tomorrow, and im gonna try to have a chill day. i cannot take another thing going wrong right now.