#also told her abt everything abt the breakup and she was like oh you know that was biphobia . And I was like huh yeah it was !!

[alittleemo]

genuinely love my friends so much <333 I love rehashing the same conversations over and over it literally never gets old :]

[insxghtt]

reschedule — bella ramsey x reader

All you wanted was to go back in time.

warnings: hurt/comfort. i used they/them pronouns for bella (bc i see that it's what pedro uses) and it was kind of difficult bc english is not my first language so if i got anything wrong i apologize. also bella said that they don't rlly care abt pronouns so i guess if i use she/her or he/him is ok right? idk let me know in the comments.

this was based on two requests: "hi babe can you write bella ramsey x reader where reader and bella are in a relationship but reader believes bella will leave them and bella reassures reader that they love them sm" / "bella and reader have a massive fight and reader thinks it’s a breakup but then bella comes and they makeup?"

You and Bella had been together for three years and not even once you doubted that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. Bella was everything you’ve ever wanted. They were kind, funny, beautiful, and most importantly, they always made sure to make you feel loved. 

You knew how important their career was to them and you respected that. The Last of Us was a huge success and Bella was out a lot, doing interviews and even getting new jobs. You were so proud of them and just seeing that sparkle in their eyes was enough to make you forget any problem you had going on. 

Well, you had a few problems going on. You just released your second book and the book launch was awesome, except for a little detail. Bella wasn’t there. 

It’s okay, you thought. They were busy with work. It happens. But just because it happens doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt a bit. Especially when you found out that they didn’t show up because of an interview. Interviews can be rescheduled. Especially when it was someone like Bella. Pedro rescheduled an interview two times a while ago just because his sister needed some help with the children. He said that family always comes first. 

It was your second book. You had been writing it for two years, working every single detail of it. It was a big deal. Maybe she didn’t see you as family, you thought. That was when all the problems became to appear. All your insecurities, all your internal conflicts. You spent the whole book launch overthinking every part of your relationship. 

When you got home, you knew Bella would be there. They had your key and asked if they could go to your place after the interview. You said yes, of course. Didn’t matter if you were slightly hurt, you just wanted to be with them. 

“Hey! How was it?”, Bella smiled when they saw you walk inside the apartment. 

“It was good”, you smiled back and gave them a big hug. “I missed you so much.” 

Bella laughed at how muffled your voice was because of the way your face was hidden on the curve of their neck. “I missed you too, darling.” 

You let them go and they gave you a quick kiss. “I’m hungry. And really, really, tired.” 

“I know. It’s why I ordered some pizza”, they pointed to the box on the center table in front of the couch. 

“Oh, you’re the best!”, you throwed your body on the comfortable couch and sighed. “Is it pepperoni?” 

“Yes...”, they sat next to you and grabbed one piece, giving it to you. 

“Thank God... I mean, I know you’re like, a hater of meat eaters, but...” 

“I’m not a hater!” 

“You are kind of a hater. It’s why I appreciate this”, you grabbed the slice of pizza. 

Bella grabbed one slice of the other pizza, the one without meat, and looked at you. You two smiled at each other and toasted the slices before eating it. 

The time went by and considering how hungry the two of you were, it didn’t take long for the pizza to disappear. Between one bite and another, you told Bella about the event. You told everything, like you wanted them to see it. You really wanted them to see it. And when Bella realized it, they felt terrible for not being there. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” 

“You already said that”, you laughed and held their hand. 

You were with your head laid on their shoulder and you felt them kissing your hair. 

“No, I mean it.” 

You raised your head to look at Bella. “It’s fine, you were working.” 

“You’re not mad at me?” 

“No!”. 

You were a little mad, but it would pass. There was no reason to ruin that moment with a stupid argument. They were sorry, that’s all that mattered to you. 

“At least you read my book, it’s more than what my own mother did, so...”, you joked. 

But Bella didn’t laugh. In fact, they gulped. 

“You read it, right?” 

The response was the silence. All the walls you used to hide how disappointed you were collapsed right there. 

“You didn’t even read my book?”, you dropped their hand. 

“I was going to...” 

“I gave it to you, like, a month ago.” 

“I was going to read it, I swear! It’s just that there were so many things going on that I...” 

“Oh my God”, you stood up from the couch. “You really don’t care, do you?” 

“What?”, they stood up as well. “Of course I do!” 

“Yes, of course you do, but never as much as you care about your own work!” 

Both of you were angry now. Bella was feeling offended. It wasn’t like they were terrible all the time, Bella was always doing the best to make you happy. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“No, Bella, it’s just the truth.” 

“Imagine if I told you that every time you say no when I invite you to an event, how would you feel?” 

“It’s different, Bella. You’re great at what you do.” 

“And so are you!” 

“It’s not the same thing!”, you yelled. “People love you. You’re successful.” 

“So what? You want me to not be good at my job?” 

“No, damnit! What I'm trying to tell you is that we’re different. You’re on, like, a thousand tv shows”, you pointed at her and then at yourself. “My biggest achievement was a book written three years ago and after that, all I do is sit and watch while the world around me continues to move.” 

Bella stood silent, waiting for you to finish with tears in their eyes. 

“The one thing that kept me going was this stupid plot I had in my mind during a shower, a stupid plot that I worked so fucking hard for two years. You were there, you saw it! I fucking cried myself to sleep wondering if I would ever do anything good again”, you dried your tears with the sleeve of your sweater. “And I finally did it! I did it, and it’s so good, and I wanted you to be there so you could see how good I am. I wanted to give you a reason to be proud of me!” 

When you were done talking, Bella didn’t say anything. They didn’t even look at you. 

“I think I should go”, they said. 

“You’re going to leave? Really?” 

“I just...”, they sighed. “I need to be alone now.” 

Bella gave you no time to say anything. They grabbed their bag that was on the corner table next to the door and left. 

“Yeah, that is really fucking mature, Bella!”, you yelled before the door was closed and they were gone. 

The morning after that night was awful. You and Bella never had a fight like that. You tried to call them 2 times since you woke up, but it was useless. At first, you thought they were asleep, that’s why they haven’t answer. But the day went by, the night came again, and they still gave you no answer. Talking to their mom, you found out where Bella was. 

“Locked in their room”, she said through the phone. 

“Okay, can I talk to them?”, you asked nervously. 

“Did you guys have a fight?” 

“Ah...”, you were not sure you wanted to talk about this. 

“Alright, you don’t have to tell me”, she calmed you down. “Bella asked me to say that they’re busy, if anyone called.” 

Shit, they were going to break up with you. 

“I though Pedro and Bella were supposed to be on a tv show today.” 

“Bella rescheduled.” 

Okay, so whatever Bella was doing, it was more important than you, apparently. 

“Oh...” 

Bella’s mom sighed. She knew the two of you enough to tell that something was off. 

“Honey don’t worry”, she said. “I’m sure you guys will figure this out.” 

It didn’t feel like it. 

“Okay”, you agreed. “Thank you, I'll try to call them again later.” 

“Bella loves you very much, you’ll be fine.” 

You thanked her again before hanging up. Not a second after that, you got a message from Pedro, answering one of your texts asking about Bella. 

“They didn’t say anything to me. Just that something came up and that it was urgent, so we had to reschedule the interview.” 

You couldn’t stop a tear from rolling down your cheek as you typed. 

“I think they’re gonna break up with me” 

Pedro was fast to answer that one. 

“Bella is crazy for you. Shut up.” 

You let out a sad laugh. Pedro was so sure of it that you were a bit jealous of that confidence. Bella never did that before. Honestly, it felt like it was already done. You could imagine them coming to your apartment to pick up their stuff and you could see yourself begging for them to stay. Were you being dramatic? Maybe, but it felt real. 

You laid on your couch, curled up in a ball of blankets that smelled like Bella. It was funny how much you missed them, considering that you saw each other last night. But this was different, this time they didn’t say the ‘I love you’ that they always said before leaving. No, they said ‘I need to be alone’. 

That was it? Three years of relationship thrown away because of a book. 

The sound of the doorbell brough you back to earth in a flinch. You stood from the couch and stared at the door. What if it was them? You didn’t want to hear it right now. You couldn’t handle it. Not now. 

“I know you’re in there, the lights are on.” 

Shit. It was Bella. Trying to be silent, you reached for the light switch and turned it off. 

“Did you just turn the lights off?” 

“No...”, you answered, soon closing your eyes and hating yourself for being so fucking stupid. 

With no other options, you walked to the door and opened it. 

“Why did you kill him?”, Bella asked. 

They had dark circles around their eyes and on their hands, was the book you gave them. Your book. 

“What?”, you were still trying to process it. 

Bella entered the apartment without even asking. “Why did you kill him? Do you know how sick and twisted this is?!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Your book!”, they pointed at it. 

You closed the door and continued to stare at them without having any idea of what was going on. “You read it?” 

“I read the first two pages last night and just couldn’t stop”, they said, gesticulating every word in excitement. “Why did you kill him? Do you know how much I cried?” 

And then you realized. She was talking about the main character on your book. 

“Well, I...” 

“I mean, do you have a problem with happy endings? This is the best book I've ever read, and you had to kill my favorite character?” 

You didn’t know what to say. “How did you finish it so fast?” 

“I was up all night.” 

Oh, so that’s why... 

“And you didn’t even think of, I don’t know, check your fucking phone?”, you yelled. “I thought you were going to break up with me!” 

Bella finally stopped talking and looked at you with confusion in their eyes. 

“Why would I break up with you? I love you.” 

You breathed in relief and closed your eyes. “You dumbass”, you whispered before wrapping your arms around their waist on a tight hug. 

Bella was still confused, but they hugged you back and ran their fingers through your hair. “I’m so sorry I made you think that.” 

You raised your head to look at them. With all the tenderness in the world, Bella touched your cheeks and kissed you on the lips. All the worries, all the sadness, it was all gone. When they pulled away, their arms were still around your neck and your faces were still close. 

“So that's what you were doing?”, you asked with the smile on your lips that Bella loved so much. They nodded. “And you cried?”, Bella nodded again. “Good.” 

Bella laughed and gave you another kiss. “I should’ve been there. And I should’ve read it the same day you gave it to me...” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Shut up, let me finish”, they interrupted, and you let out a laugh. “I am so proud of you. You’re so good at everything you do and this book...”, Bella sighed. “This book is just heartbreaking, perfect, sad, beautiful, thrilling...” 

“Yes, I got it”, you giggled, already blushing from so many compliments. 

“Exciting, original, sensational, fantastic...” 

“Okay!”, you covered their mouth with your hand. “You loved it, I get it.” 

Bella tried to say something, so you removed your hand. 

“Are we good?”, they asked. 

You answered it with another kiss. 

“Okay, I think we’re good”, Bella smiled. 

“Yes. Yes, we are.” 

[theflyindutchwoman]

It's pretty obvious Tim was "hiding" in 5a in his relationship with ashley from his feelings for Lucy. It was clear from 5x1 they wanted to be together especially tim who was ready to have the discussion, discussion we already saw he wanted to have in 4x22. Lucy we know she was scared and that's why she took the opportunity of tim's "everything that's happen undercover stay undercover." It was their chance to be together even if it was just for a moment before going back to "normal" including the relationships.

Ashley only appeared for the breakup episode for a reason. She wasn't important. That's why when lucy stayed at the hospital after the breakup he could smile. But that's also what the things who where on his mind after the breakup were. With ashley gone he didn't have the space to hide anymore, he was left with his feelings, what he really wanted, that's why we had that scene at the end of the episode where we see him looking back at lucy and chris, THAT was what bothered him.

I never had a problem with tim "I could see me married to her" abt ash because as you said he was surprised when lucy mentionned it and it was a hypothetical answer. We all have had peoples we could see ourselves married with because they're nice, we getting along well so yeah why not it doesn't mean yeah I want to be married with them. Tim told ash it wasn't in his plan directly and her answer gave him a little oh moment because we know he is someone who want those things in a relationship but him being able to be like ok yeah and move on as fast as he did tell us everything we needed to know. She was never the one so it wasn't important enough for him, it's like what tim said to lucy abt chris and him in 5x8.

They both were hiding and tim knew it the moment she said "he's not … (you)" that's why he had the discussion he wanted to have in the start of the season right after because he finally knew she wanted to be with him as much as him and said enough lol Woah sorry it was long, it's late, Im in my bed with nothing to do so and I thought why not sharing tonight lol

I mean I get where my previous anon was coming from. A lot of it was implied and it can lead to frustration since nothing is spelled out. At the same time, I can't say I minded it much because, to me, it also made sense storywise. Like you said, Tim was hiding his feelings… And historically the one person who has been able to help him was Lucy. Only in this case, that wasn't an option. Angela could have been a great alternative, but unless they're teasing the hell out of each other, they tend to stay clear of any relationship talk (her marriage none withstanding). Despite all of this, I thought that 5.01 really drive home the idea that wanted to be together. Actually, like you said, it did start in 4.22… Only it ended up being a false start since Tim lost his nerves and veered back to a safer topic. The third time was the charm.

As for the breakup itself : another thing that I found telling was Tim's emotional journey when Ashley was breaking up with him. It was part disbelief, part sadness, part disappointment. But he looked more distraught when he told Lucy it was time for her to move on - at least that's how it looked to me. And his smile when Lucy stayed at his side at the hospital was so precious. It meant so much to him. And after the breakup, there were two scenes that clued us in on his state of mind : the longing look at the end, when he saw Lucy leaving with Chris, and the one at the beginning, when he barely acknowledged Lucy and Chris altogether. Just the idea of being in their vicinity was hurting him. Those scenes were there to show us that he wasn't just moping over Ashley. It was more than that.

The beauty of those scenes in 5.08 is that Tim really had Lucy's best interests at heart. He didn't insert himself in the equation. He just wanted to be a sounding board for her so she could figure things out… It was only about her. Which was the perfect contrast to Chris who didn't even notice his girlfriend's growing discomfort. And the moment she made it clear that it was also about him, that's when he took a leap. That part was a continuation of his two previous attempts : when he wanted to talk about their kiss but chickened out and when he got shut down in that hotel room and he didn't insist. This time, he didn't back down and put all his cards on the table. And it paid off because they were finally on the same page. No miscommunication this time around. And Tim's pure joy and relief was so palpable.

(And don't worry anon, sharing our different perspectives and thoughts are what makes this fun!)

[zenyye]

i am. so tired of my friend’s shit. like theyre always getting themselves into drama and i am tired

[cherryyharryy]

angst to fluff where y/n finds out she was originally just supposed to be a rebound type thing after he broke up with someone like idk something like he broke up with someone on the european leg of tour and she was supposed just be with him until he went on another leg but then he started to love her and brings her on the rest of tour with him and she finds out abt the rebound thing after the last show of tour where everyones drunk and celebrating and one person lets it slip

I tweaked it just a bit...hope that's ok:)

WC: 3.5K

****

“You look beautiful.”

I skim my nose across Harry’s cheek, his chin resting on my shoulder, and hum against stubble that wasn’t there this morning. “You’ve said that five times tonight.”

“And?” He slips around to face me.

His suit is a deep maroon, probably black if you’re far away, probably purple if you’ve had too much champagne. His chest expands when I slide my hand down.

“Love this dress.” He takes my hand off and pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to my head.

“You two forget where you’re at?” Another foreign voice surrounds us, well, foreign to me.

“Fucker,” Harry says to the man. They pat each other’s backs as the guy walks away. “Tyler Johnson.”

“Oh.”

“He worked with me on the last album.”

“Okay.”

It’s like the fifteenth person that I’ve been introduced to tonight, all of whom pass by with quick hellos, inside jokes with Harry, and little interest in me. The fast paced world of the rich and famous doesn’t slow down, even for charity.

“Harry, so glad you could make it.” Another voice, another man. This one lingers, long enough to receive my name, and offer a cliche compliment about my patience to put up with this beautiful bastard on my arm.

I thank him with the smile I’ve learned to speak through. These celebrities never stop smiling. Never stop posing. Never stop.

Then he’s gone too, and Harry’s whispering yet another name in my ear, of which I’ll forget seconds later because these people ultimately mean nothing to me. They all seem to pass through each other’s lives whenever convenience allows, playing house and acting like grown ups who get the privilege of not truly growing up.

I feel like the Gucci dress Harry had tailored to my body doesn’t fit. My posture sucks. I’m too scared to eat any of the finger foods being carried on silver platters through the hall. I haven’t learned how to smile through food I don’t like or not make a mess or take small enough bites. I swear, not one glass of champagne has any lipstick on it. They’re like magic.

I look at Harry. He’s stepped away to converse with a face that I do know. He and Jeff speak animatedly, Harry’s arms gesturing to whatever story he’s telling. I step over to one of the dressed tables and place what little weight I can onto the chair, needing to cling to something. When I look back up I smile, the two of them now laughing, and probably a little too loud for this charity auction.

“Y/n...right?”

I whip around, a man I’ve seen in pictures on Harry’s phone holds out his hand.

I straighten my back and accept his greeting. “Yes.”

“Finally we meet!” He catches my confusion and chuckles. “I produced Harry’s last album.”

Something clicks in my head, and he’s suddenly more familiar. “Oh! I knew that.”

Tom Hull...Kid Harpoon I process just as he introduces his name.

“I—”

An arm slipping around my waist stunts my question, Harry tipping back a red drink with his free hand while the other squeezes my hip. “Just tell this one to leave you alone,” he jabs.

Tom rolls his eyes, patting the breast of his green suit to look for something, only to show off his middle finger.

“Can’t believe the two of you haven’t met,” Harry says.

“I know, I guess we just missed each other.” Tom nods to me. “Heard you went to quite a few shows.”

“As many as I could.”

An uneasy sting travels down my spine. I did go to many shows, practically following Harry around his entire tour...all on his dime. Lord knows the man can afford it, but I still felt weird about him dishing out thousands of dollars to add me to each plane ride.

“Well I’m happy to see you two kids together,” Tom jokes, patting Harry on his back. “I’ve told him he needs to date women who will fuck him up. That’s where the songs are.”

He saunters off like he did not just say that. No. Absolutely not.

My face burns and it hurts to turn my head, but I still manage to narrow my eyes at Harry.

“Do you want another drink?”

I wait. I give him more than enough seconds to explain what the hell that was. But he’s clueless—ignorant.

“No. I do not.”

***

I do not bother taking my heels off in the car. My plan is to storm into our hotel room the second we park. Possibly locking Harry out...haven’t decided on that part yet.

The vague chit chat he makes with the driver stirs my nerves. It shouldn’t make me angry, and it’s not so much the act as it is his demeanor. He’s too cheery right now and it’s pissing me off.

“Okay,” he grabs my attention from Los Angeles flying past my window, the partition rolling up to leave us completely alone in the back seat. “What’s wrong?”

I bite my tongue, literally. “Nothing.”

“You seemed...irritated.”

“Did I?”

“Y/n.”

I turn to face him, inhaling sharply to calm my coming words. “Why are you with me?”

His face pales, and not a muscle moves. He just stares at me until he finally blinks and starts jerking his jaw around. “What are you talkin’ about?”

I roll my eyes. “The fact that you don’t know, bothers me even more.” I sigh, fighting back tears because I am determined not to cry in front of him. “Tom said that you should date people that fuck you up.”

“O—oh. That’s all?”

I squint, curling my lip. “What do you mean, that’s all? Is that not enough for you? Because that was a lot for me to hear tonight.”

“Baby, he was just messing around.”

I don’t budge.

“Really, it’s nothin’ to think about.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup my jaw. “Promise. It’s just like when people told you that you could do better than me, or insult me to compliment you.” He shrugs. “It’s just party talk.”

I process his words, supposing he’s not wrong. He did receive quite a few insults in lieu of my praise tonight. Maybe I was just on edge because of the setting; being surrounded by the rich and famous while I struggle to pay my rent each month isn’t exactly grounds for positive thinking.

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for.” He leans over to kiss me, stroking my face as his lips skim over mine. “Did I tell you how stunning you look tonight?”

***

It’s funny how your brain works. How emotions swoop in and corral your thoughts, like a salesman who pretends to care about you so they can get what they want. My mind was desperate for relief, from hearing Tom’s nervy comment, and I naively allowed Harry to take what he needed in that moment.

Something’s not quite right. I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it.

I’ve been mulling over Harry’s words in my head all weekend, playing them on repeat, hoping they’ll start to make sense, but if anything their value keeps dropping. What worries me the most, is that I don’t know whether he’s trying to protect me or himself. I don’t know if one is any better than the other.

It’s golden hour when we pull up to the beach. I can hear the music before I even open the car door; a volleyball shoots up over the rows of bushes hiding the party, disappearing and popping back up a moment later.

I don’t really want to be here, but I also don’t want to be the girlfriend who won’t support their boyfriend.

“Ready?” Harry asks, and I nod.

The closer we walk, the clearer the music becomes. Harry’s voice takes over the private beach, and I wonder if they’re playing his entire album or just Golden on repeat.

A good bit of the people drinking and chatting I recognize form the event the other night, but there are still plenty of new faces. I take some fruity drink that was offered to me and down half of it before my feet hit sand.

And so the routine continues. I’m introduced to someone, they compliment me, laugh with Harry, congratulate him on pretty much everything he’s ever done, and then repeat with a new face. I do manage to find Sarah at one point after I’ve detached myself from Harry, and the two of us head for the water.

“Are you feeling okay?” Sarah asks once our toes are wet.

I hold my breath and count to five, finishing whatever the hell I’m drinking before I can answer her. “I’m great.”

“Harry said you weren’t doing too well after the auction?”

“Yes, Harry does a lot of talking with people when I’m not around.”

“Alright, spill it,” Sarah says.

I trace the rim of my glass, flicking my eyes over my shoulder to make sure we’re far away from the party. “It’s stupid, really, I’m just a little...I don’t know...Tom said something the other night that rubbed me the wrong way. And Harry doesn’t seem to care.”

“What did he say?”

“Just something about how Harry needs to have relationships with people who will fuck him up.”

“Ooh,” she nods, seemingly well versed in the statement. “Yeah that’s an Iggy Pop quote. Tom mentioned it in Rolling Stone when he was interviewed.” She sips her drink, eyes growing small over the rim. “It was just a cheap line of advice he gave Harry after he was torn up after his last breakup.”

“Wait, so he actually did say that before? Like before the other night?”

Sarah drifts her eyes up in thought, nodding. “Um hm. After him and Camille broke things off.” She shrugs, and gestures to the party exploding on the beach behind us. “Fine Line.”

I have no idea what I’m feeling. No clue what is coursing through my veins, but it’s not blood anymore. The corners of my jaw tingle until my face starts going numb, my breathing shallow and chest tight.

“You okay?”

“I uh, I gotta go.”

Sarah calls after me but I let my name die in the breeze as I march back to the crowd. It’s nearly dark now, and finding Harry among all his people will take forever. I try to look for him, but I’m so distraught I can’t concentrate long enough to make out faces. I give up and head back to his car, only to find it’s locked. The asphalt is warm on my legs as I lower down to the ground, careless to the dirt I’m getting on my clothes and the scratches on my skin.

I’m not in this position for long. Not long enough, at least. Harry rounds the corner of the bushes, speeding up when he sees me.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

He moves to sit down beside me, but I jump up before he can.

“You’re a fucking liar.”

“Whoa! What!? What’s gotten into you lately?”

“I told you! What Tom said the other night!” I’m yelling, too loud for public, I know. But a small part of me wants someone to hear. I want to disrupt the bubble Harry lives in.

“And I told you that it was just nonsense.”

“And that’s why you’re a liar! Sarah just told me, that he said that to you after you and Camille broke up.”

“Okay...and?”

I inhale as deep as I can. It makes me dizzy, adds to my headache. “And, what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? With the knowledge that the only reason you’re even with me, is because I’m gonna fuck you up so bad you’ll get songs out of it?

“Y/n,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’re taking this waaay too literally. Trust me.”

“You’re not in a position right now where I even want to trust you.”

“This has gotten completely out of control. I cannot believe you’re this upset over something so stupid.”

“Right there, Harry!” I point at him. “You keep dismissing how I feel! You don’t even care that this upsets me! That I feel like I need to reevaluate our entire relationship!”

“What is there to evaluate!? I haven’t even done anything! You’re blowing up about something that someone else said!”

“But you listened to him!”

“What,” he shrugs, “what do you want?”

“I don’t know what I want, Harry. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” He pauses, swallowing. “Us?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, us. I can’t be with you if—if you’re just waiting around for me to ruin you emotionally.”

“You’re seriously gonna let someone else’s words do this to us? You’d break up with me because of something another person said?”

“Harry, if I break up with you it’s gonna be because of what you’ve done. I don’t care that he said it, I care that you agree to it. And quite frankly, it’s pretty insulting to Camille. You spent a part of your life with that girl, and you just capitalize off of it. I’m not gonna let you do that to me.”

“I’m not capitalizing off of anyone! What the hell am I supposed to write my songs about? I’m just supposed to not date then?”

“It’s the fact that you sought out a relationship in order to fuel your writing.”

“No, y/n, that’s not what I did.” He narrows his eyes at me, and even in the dark I can see his anger. “I sought you out because I was devastated after me and her broke up. You were only supposed to be a rebound.”

I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. The music overhead blurs into noise scraping my eardrum, my vision grows weak and foggy. He wanted to hurt me, and he did.

“I expect a thank you when you release your next album.” I spin on my heel and head towards the main road, yanking my phone from my pocket to call an uber. For the second time tonight, my name trails behind me in the wind. I can hear Harry’s steps pick up, and as fast as I walk, he still catches me.

“Y/n, please, let’s go back to the hotel. You can hate me and not talk to me, but please don’t leave.”

I ignore him, trying to set up my ride. “Where the hell are we?”

He glances at my phone, and I can tell he considers keeping the answer to himself, so he can keep me to himself. He drops his voice, much weaker than before. “Carbon Beach. Canyon road.”

Ten minutes.

“Y/n—”

“I am not interested in discussing this with you.”

“I’m so sorry. I—I was mad and was just trying to win the argument. Whichever way I could.”

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Y/n, please, honey. I don’t want to lose you.” He drags his hands down his face, keeping his palms dug into his eyes. When he lets them drop, there are tears spilling down his cheeks. “I can’t lie and say you weren’t, but yes you were a rebound for me, but that went away. Literally weeks after we started dating. I care about you so much. I wouldn’t drag you to every show and event I have if I didn’t. I’m so proud to call you mine. The last thing you are to me is—is just grounds for my writing.”

I stare out across the road. A jeep speeds by and the gush of wind it brings sends chills down my arms.

“Harry, I just...it’s a lot. You’re a lot. Your life is a lot.” I sigh and slowly turn to face him. “It feels like the significance of us being in each other’s lives are so different.”

He kicks a rock across the road, dust flying up around us. “Fuck. Y/n I’m begging—”

“They’re here.” I nod to the headlights approaching us.

“Baby, please.”

“I think I need to be alone right now.” I get in the backseat. “Enjoy your party.”

***

I text him when I’m back at the hotel, having nowhere else to go. I didn’t think my plan of leaving through, because he’ll come back here before the night’s over. But I’m hoping he’ll stay away for a bit, long enough for me to process everything at least.

Deep down I know there’s not as much to the comment as I thought. And Harry’s not that type of guy. But the lack of concern over my feelings...the fact that I was just used as a warm body while he got over Camille...that’s what hurts the most.

There’s a fine line between being sorry because you’ve been called out, and truly being sorry. How sorry can he be when he got what he wanted? Even if I’m not what he envisioned past a few quick fucks, he still comes out on top happy.

I feel like the lifestyle these people live is embedded with secret codes, all of which I’m not wired to pick up on. The money, the mistakes, the adoration... Everything is a lot, and playing catch up is nearly impossible.

I don’t get the alone time I’d wished for. There are curses and clicks of the doorknob right before Harry comes in. He stands at the entrance, staring at me on the lounge chair like he’s unsure if I’m real.

“Wasn’t sure you’d come back here.”

“Where else can I go?” I nod to his phone in his hand. “I texted you.”

“I was driving.”

I sigh, flinching when he turns the lights on. “I know you wanna talk, but I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to,” he says, dropping his keys on a table to come sit beside me. “I’ll talk though.” He inhales, holding his breath for a second before forcing the air out. “I know that me saying I’m sorry means shit to you right now. And to be honest, it probably is coming from me...in a way. You’re right about everything. And whatever you’re feeling, once you figure that out, you’re valid about that too.”

“How would you feel if you were only meant to be temporary in my life? You never mentioned why you were interested in me in the beginning. And no, I never would have gone out with you had I known. I would never want to be someone’s rebound. There’s just something sneaky about that.”

His head drops into his hands, and his shoulders shake right before I hear him cry. “I know, I—I get so caught up in myself sometimes. I’m such a fucking prick.” When he looks up, his eyes are burnt red, glassy and defeated. “I don’t deserve you, and I really don’t deserve anyone.”

“Harry,” I chastise, not expecting the downward spiral he’s ventured onto.

“I swear I care about you. I want you to be happy, and I want to make you happy. I don’t want to be the one to treat you this way. Ever.”

I inhale as deep as I can, holding my breath until it hurts. “I know.” I take his hand in mine. “And I know your heart, and I know you care about me. I—” I sigh, “I’m not comfortable with...just forgetting all of this though. I can forgive you, but I think we need to take a couple steps back. I’ve gotten so swept up in your life and your world, I’m losing my own.”

He nods slowly, accepting my words with a pained face.

“I care about you too.”

He looks up for the first time, catching the last few tears with the back of his hand. “I know you do.”

I offer a small smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. His eyes fall closed, and blindly he turns to press his lips to mine. Our kiss is salty and urgent.

“What did you say to everyone when you left?”

He frowns in thought, like the memory is too far away. “Nothing. Jumped in my car and prayed this is where you’d be.”

I take his hand and pull us both to our feet. “We should go to bed. It’s been a long night. Too long.”

We’re quiet and slow as we shed our clothes and brush our teeth, slipping into bed around two a.m.. Harry doesn’t waste a second in pulling me into his warm chest, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug that has me burying my face into his neck.

We lay there, silent, but when I know I don’t have much longer before sleep overcomes me, I kiss his shoulder, whispering how much I love him before I close my eyes.

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[ivyisms]

       - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, 24, CISFEMALE ) I just bumped into IVES "IVY" SERRANO the other day while walking down NORTH Kingsboro, where SHE lives. I hear they can be SEDUCTIVE and MANIPULATIVE, but when I think of them I immediately think about ROSE PETAL BLUNTS, STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, AND SIX INCH STILETTOS.

hi hello it’s tay back again w another one of my demon spawn muses !! apparently chaotic bisexuals w fcs from elite is just my brand™️ but anyway ivy is probably my favorite oc i’ve ever made so i have A Lot to say abt this messy bitch !! if u go H E R E i have a very long stats/bio page with pretty much everything i could think of BUT i will try to summarize the main points semi-concisely

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born natalie rose serrano, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name poison ivy and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts... she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

she’s probably been in kingsboro for a few years, living in a super fancy one bedroom apartment that she definitley doesn’t pay for ( she doesn’t even know how much her rent is tbh )

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing or whatever, but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like... super serious about it ya know ?

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on... everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality !

she’s a real two faced bitch... she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side... good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like... deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial 

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms ... gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe... she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes... i want the Angst so bad..

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

neighbors ... mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

[lunarhorrors]

my analysis of hwykiynt

track 1: don’t cry 2020.

- feeling sad about growing up

- nostalgic birthdays

- “years go by whether you want them to”

- but it’s about living life and getting through it and not crying because you’re getting older but accepting the inevitability of aging

- they used to want to grow up and now it’s scary :/ story of my LIFE wow

- basically an existential crisis song BUT also with the message of appreciating life and going with the flow

- SADNESS RATING: 😭😭😭/5

track 2: boyfriend.

- this girl is obviously a cheater who’s only booty calling chase (idk if it’s from his real life experience)

- “you got my number wrong” sort of insinuates that she calls up many guys and chase knows so he’s like “lol bye”

- she’s pessimistic: “stay away with your sad songs” and probably calls up boys when she’s sad and lonely

- he knows she’s toxic tho and won’t be with her when she needs company so you go dude!!

- SADNESS RATING: 😭/5 bc it’s still a breakup song

track three: talk too much.

- song abt being on a date!!

- chase seems insecure abt talking too much tho, i hope whoever he’s with is actually listening and not complaining :/

- flirtatious, about kissing and being in love maybe idk

- happy beat, happy song

- SADNESS RATING: 😭/5 bc it sounds like chase is insecure abt being talkative

track four: i don’t wanna dance.

- high school dance :)

- he’s awkward and insecure and worried about being a bad date :/

- doesn’t wanna dance at,, a dance?

- happy music though

- “i let you down, i know it. i let you down over and over” is so sad????????? like he’s giving up he’s like “i let you down all the time may as well do it again nothing even matters anymore” like fUck, my poor heart

- SADNESS RATING:

😭😭😭😭/5 for the upbeat-sounding-ness

track five: hannah.

- this girl must’ve wronged him!! another cheater wow

- but he doesn’t seem that mad

- he’s like, “sorry hannah, i’ve got other plans, so keep on dancing into the arms of another man” he’s like, “you do you, girl.” i love it.

- then he’s giving her encouragement? “hold your head up hannah, hold your head up high” he’s like get over me, you’re good

- it’s got this “lived in the same small town my whole life” vibe bc he talks abt her complaining about the same skylines she sees every night, meaning she wants to leave but won’t

- maybe he leaves her and the town? bc he talks about her being bored about being in the same town all the time, then he says to stay with another guy, and “how will you know if you never try?” maybe it means taking chances and going places!! wow wow wow

- so it’s like she won’t take chances and leave and he needs new things djdjfjfn

-but it’s not that sad

- SADNESS RATING: 😭😭/5 bc she wants to leave and he leaves her

track six: are we alone?

- sad!!!!!

- he wants this person’s attention and they’re just on their phone!!! look up!! don’t ignore him!!

- “there’s no one here but you and me, so tell me, would you rather be alone?” they’re cheating!! gotta be.

- i know the fucking signs. “i see you hiding behind a flickering screen” fuck youuu “then you light up, who’s keeping you company” YUP! next you check for multiple phones and then you know they’re cheating mmhmmm

- he can’t even get their attention! why would anyone ignore chase?

- the relationship is failing and chase wants to talk to the person but they aren’t paying attention ):

- SADNESS RATING:

😭😭😭😭/5

track seven: heart eyes.

- he loves this girl! but she’s a wild one and she talks to strangers

- she’s got “a cartwheel heart, never running out of room” she’s a dream, she loves with her whole heart

- but she’s always out and she’s never really home, so is she as committed as he thought?

- she’s got heart eyes but she’s not coming back to him. she’s everything he wants but she doesn’t seem to be into him as much as he is into her and they’re fighting and he just wants her to come back.

- the song doesn’t resolve! we don’t know if she comes home! the piano doesn’t resolve! there’s no satisfying conclusion note! the end part sounds so sad!

- SADNESS RATING:

😭😭😭😭😭/5

track eight: lately ii.

- so this song’s origins are so sad! this and lately,,, fuck

- this is from an interview: “This is the sequel to ‘Lately,’ from our first album. It’s about the same day, about me losing my nephew. He only lived for 24 hours, unfortunately. With ‘Lately,’ I had to get that out. It was written from my sister’s perspective.

- “She had another child and ‘Lately II,’ which is written from the perspective of my brother-in-law, is about getting over that, but still being hung up on the loss. It’s about being okay and being happy, but still not understanding why that happens. 

- “The first song ends with the new baby’s heartbeat, and the second one begins with the new baby’s heartbeat and ends with the other baby’s heartbeat. My brother-in-law hasn’t heard it yet, but he sent me a picture a few weeks ago of himself listening to ‘Lately’ and it wrecks me every time. I can’t even listen to that.”

- that’s all i need to make my verdict

- SADNESS RATING: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 even though this song is about moving on I REFUSE TO CHANGE THIS RATING

track nine: feeling.

- like a “this love is bad, i want you but i don’t want you” song

- it’s contradictory bc it’s like, “i miss you but i wish i didn’t know you”

- “call it heartless attraction at best”

- so it’s another one where the singer is more in love than the person the song is about

- it’s a good anti-love song bc “i left it all back there” and “i don’t wanna be where you are” meaning that the singer got over this and even though he misses them at times he knows the love was toxic

- SADNESS RATING: 😭😭/5 it’s bittersweet

track ten: miranda beach.

- about a crush!!!!! this song is lovely

- he’s so shook by this girl’s beauty, this song is great

- he wants to talk to her but he can’t say anything right and she’s got him messed up and he’s so awkward and falling for her

- “she’s got me feeling undone and she knows it” indicates that maybe this isn’t the best love or maybe chase is just like “she has to know what she’s doing to me!” then there’s “you’re so unaware accidentally” like she’s clueless

- she’s in his head and she’s all he can think of and he’s desperate

- this is a bit sad bc he’s Distressed™️ but it’s also about a crush so not super sad

- SADNESS RATING: 😭/5

track eleven: malibu 1992.

- DO I EVEN NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW? THIS SONG IS SO SAD I DONT EVEN NEED TO ANALYZE IT,, BUT I LIKE ANALYZING THINGS SO I WILL ANYWAYS

- okay first of all the music is sad and nostalgic and like the epitome of the sad beach music aesthetic they’ve got going on

- he’s thinking back to this girl he was dating in high school and how she moved so far away and he thinks about her all the time and goes to a place that was significant to them sometimes but he thinks she probably doesn’t think of him

- she moved for money reasons and now that she has it she hasn’t come back to him

- “and i’m sure you think i’ve outgrown you but i couldn’t” and “oh i did it again, i must still want you”

- he’s not over her!!!! bitch!! tearing at my mcfreaking heartstrings!!!! “i told my mom she’d love to meet you but it’s too bad she won’t get the chance to” is like a punch to the gut every time i hear it! so much pain!!!

- “oh i must still want you... and i might be part to blame.” HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR THEIR BREAKUP AND HER LEAVING AND WHY THEY DONT TALK DJDJDJ

- she’s a trophy wife with loads of cash and now she doesn’t care about him :( my heart aches so much, this sad beach song is so nice and yet so overly sad

- i’m EMO! coin, why did u do this?

- SADNESS RATING: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[ollie-oxen-free]

Fucking FanFiction.net, Man

Thanks to @crushingonsans for tagging me in this because hot damn if this wasn’t fun to do. mine aren’t as good, but whatever. there’s only so much a man can do :’c

Razz (SFS)

Fell (UFP)

Lust (ULS)

Pink (ULP)

Sans (UTS)

Error

Blue (USS)

Papyrus (UTP)

Stretch (USP)

Red (UFS)

Slim (SFP)

Ink

-(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9). (1), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (11), has an unhappy breakup with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Razz and Blue are in a happy relationship until Blue dumps Razz for Stretch. Razz, brokenhearted, goes on one date with Slim, has an unhappy breakup with Ink, then follows the wise advice of Sans and finds true love with Lust.

I mean…… I don’t know man,,,,.,.,. I was excited for a split second with the rottenberry and then it fucked me over (although i do like razz/lust)

-If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

(Papyrus)

he he

I’ve had this one for a while in all honesty.

-3 told you that she will soon be getting married to 2. What is your reaction?

(Lust, Fell) 

*looks at crush and fresh’s roommate bros rp* cool

-When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

(Sans) 

Hmm i mean,..,., idk man its hard to find a good fic with this character in it, he’s just so rare i mean.,.,

-6 kidnapped you, why is this?

(Error) 

Hey crush, we both got kidnapped by Error, high five! also it’s probably bc im very gay, ngl

-Does anyone on your friends list consider Three hot?

(Lust) 

I mean some people may be in denial about it but im pretty sure that everyone thinks that he’s hot lmfao

-If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what warning would it have?

(Razz, Error, Ink) 

In all honesty if i did it would be Razz getting kidnapped by Error for being a “glitch of a glitch” so maybe kidnapping? Though it would probably involve a lot of memes and bad humor too so maybe not too much bad? Mostly just Razz being annoyed that the supposed god-like beings of the mulitverse fight and argue like little children.

-6 is extremely pissed off about something, why is this? And what will you do?

(Error) 

He’s always angry so im not gonna ever grace this one with a response.

-Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

(Sans/Stretch or Sans/Red) 

the second, definitely the second one, im glad at least something in this fucking nightmare is normal, jesus shit

-You and 9 get trapped in an elevator together. What happens? And who are the other random people with you two?

(Stretch) 

I swear to god if i hear one more pun about elevators i will not hesitate to kill myself

-Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

(Fell, Error) 

,,,,.,.,.,.,..,,.,.no.

-8 confessed to be a part of your family.

(Papyrus) 

welcome home, son

-4 and 5 are having an argument. Why is this?

(Pink, Sans)

“Stop teaching my bro how to make sexy spaghetti!”

“Well, it’s that or how to be successful in the royal harem. Which would you prefer?”

“I’m tired of finding condoms in my pasta, do whatever the hell you want.”

-Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

(Razz, Papyrus) 

i think i read a fic about it before once, but it was less fluff and more Paps calling Razz out for his shit or something of the like

-2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, and then kisses you on the cheek.

(Fell) 

you’re drunk, go home buddy

-What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?

(Blue, Fell, Ink) 

I mean i like to think that when Blue walks in on anyone kissing he immediately begins to critique their form and then rates their passion on a scale of one to ten, so take that as you will

-Do you think Four is hot?

(Pink) 

yes

-7 cooked you dinner.

(Blue) 

oh thank god, a night where i dont have to eat cold ravioli from a can or undercooked ramen god bless

-Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?

(Blue/Ink) 

The Colors We Show

-9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together.

(Stretch, Razz) 

They both take one look at each other and then immediately run away, Razz going “to the bathroom” and Stretch jumping out of the nearest window. Blue and Slim are sitting in the bushes outside the restaurant and wondering just how their plan went this wrong.

-8 gets angry and starts cussing at 6 very loudly. 7 is watching it all and is interested…but why is this?

(Papyrus, Error, Blue) 

Papyrus is cussing. End of story.

-Do you recall any fics about 9?

(Stretch) 

*looks at the huge fucking pile about Stretch being a creepy fucker* yea, im aware of a few of them

-You are about to do something that will make you feel very embarrassed. Will 9 comfort you?

(Stretch) 

this bitch would encourage me to do it, honestly

-Does anyone on your friends list read 3?

(Lust) 

i mean, we all have our guilty pleasures. Read: of fucking course.

-Would anyone one of your friends list write about Two/Four/Five?

(Fell, Pink, Sans) 

i have never seen this and thinking about it gives me a headache. Maybe Galli would? They’re all about rarepairs (and they’re also really great too so go check them out)

-You’re lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos.

(Razz, Fell, Stretch) 

*discreetly pulls out my phone and takes a picture*

-It’s storming outside and 4 allowed you to stay with her at her place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is?

(Lust) 

Put your dick back in your pants I’m walking home in this fucking tornado, bitch.

-Have you read a 6 / 11 fanfic before?

(Error, Slim) 

No, and i never want to

-5 wakes you up in the middle of the night.

(Sans) 

go the fuck to sleep you bitch, i hate you and your fucking off-kilter sleeping habits

-1 asks to talk to you privately. When you are both alone, he admits to you that he is gay.

(Razz) 

no.,..,.,? really.,..,, wow i,..,.,,., never would have,.,.,.,., guessed

-5 gave you a teddy bear.

(Sans) 

it has a sound box in it so that every time you squeeze it, the bear makes a fart noise. Thanks, sans

-You and 10 go out for a picnic. Everything is peaceful until 2 crashes it by showing up and inviting you to go hang out at a cafe. Would you go with 2 or stay with 10?

(Red, Fell) 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,,,..,......i mean,,..,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,.dont make me answer this, im passing

-1 walked in on you while you were showering. What is your reaction?

(Razz) 

i mean i’d be cool bc this shit happens all the time with my housemates, but im honestly not sure how well Razz would react

-What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

(Ink, Papyrus) 

*megalovania playing in the distance* *paperjam quietly cursing bc “for fucks sake, not again, hope you dont abandon this kid too”*

-You catch 10 looking at questionable material on the internet.

(Red) 

*google search bar is open with the history being just the word “tiddy” 278 times*

-Make up a summary of a 3/10 fanfic.

(Lust/Red) 

“Red had picked him up off the street, one time, just looking for a night of fun. His Boss didn’t approve of his escapades, of course, but when you’re the center of a crime ring, not much you do is ever approved of. He’d become accustomed to seeing the scantily-clad skeleton walking the streets, a sultry gaze and ecto-body formed, letting himself be pulled and used in any way for a wad of cash. Maybe that was why he was so surprised to be walking past a flowershop one day and seeing the guy standing in the window, smelling a large bouquet. Cleaned up, not covered in various fluids of previous customers and dirt from when he was rejected and thrown against the ground, he looked really, really cute.

Fuck. Boss was gonna kill him.”

And now i want to write/read it. Great. I’m already swamped with shit so if anyone wants to pick this up then feel welcome

-All the listed characters get into a very epic and all-out battle. Who will be the last one standing?

*papyrus standing over eleven other unconscious bodies* “NYEH!”

-7 is having relationship problems, 4 tries to help him out but her advice isn’t helpful. Your thoughts about this predicament?

(Blue, Pink)

“I don’t think that I’m the best at making Sexy Spaghetti.”

“Then try making, erm, Tantalizing Tacos!”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea either.”

-Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?

(Slim) 

I mean.,,., not really.,.,.,., my poor meme-ing son doesn’t get enough love, imo. There’s a few fics abt him, but not a lot where he’s extremely prominent.

[nrfdxnwr]

Recovery Phase

Welcome to my 2 years worth of recovery story.

The ones’ who’ve known me way before 2015 will know why. But this ones’ for the one who prolly is reading this and dont know hahahaha

I was the girl who loved her ex way too much & is willing to do anything & everything for his happiness. Was supposed to get married but yeah... the longest time ever to move on.

Here’s what everyone didnt know and kept telling me that i always deserve better, when they havent been hearing what was it that is really happening to me, & us. Yes, im gna tell everything that has been happening for the past 2/3 years, till now.

My relationship with my ex was perfect. Prolly the only time i started acting up was when he left me to Brunei, for 9 months.. (yes im also the girl who cant stand being away from my boyfriend for too long) and when i say acting up, i mean, i start being crazy cause i miss him. Hahahah well it was pretty easy cause i had work distracting me. He is honestly a nice, lovely and caring person...

But he had someone else.. oh we were 3 1/2 years together. I knew he had someone else but i kept forgiving him for all that he did cause i loved him & it was too hard for me to let go. & i kept on telling myself that it’ll get better. But i was wrong.

It honestly got worst. It got worst cause i start drifting away from him and do my own stuffs. It really hit me on the night he asked me “b, do you really still love me ?” Cause i know that i was really drifting apart & i also knew what i did what i did... was wrong. Here is what everyone doesnt know... i let guys in.. i let guys be close to me. Only because i wanted to know if he felt what i felt.. if he felt the pain i felt. But nope..

So i stopped wtv i was doing. And he got mad over what i did. I saw him with another girl in his house. I broke up with him. Everyone thought that I actually broke up with him cause he was with another girl in the house. But nope. I broke up with him cause i know the more i hold on, the more shits I’ll be doing, & it’ll be more painful for me. And i knew what was my shortcomings, i knew why the other girl existed. I knew why he did all those. I accepted fate, and left him.

After the break up, i found myself going back to him everytime. I dont even know why. It was hard. Reaaaally hard. I tried Tinder. Met all sorts of guys. Cant seem to forget him still.. then i told myself that maybe i should spend more time with my girlfriend & bestfriend. It worked. But truth to be told, there were times of the day where I’ll rmb him and think of him. I just dont wna start again with someone new... yknow ?

Okay.. the duration from the breakup till i found a boyfriend.... i gained so much weight. It was weird. Serious. Still met my ex a couple of times, just to see how he’s doing. Aight, here’s the part where i start moving on..

I met Anwar.

Not as my officer. But as a guest to my family event. Yep, the first time we met was at my family event.

I was dating his friend...... before i know him.

Something happened and he got me. My life is so confusing.

It tooook meeee sooooo muchhhh to open up to someone new again. I had trouble telling him what is wrong with me, that i tend to just shut myself up. Still checked on my ex once in awhile.

Yes, i treated Anwar like shit for the first 3 months of the relationship. He made so much efforts to heal me, to fix me, to make me love him. He had all the patience which i doubt anyone has. He is really one of a kind..

I started 2016 = i started loving him.

Cause i found out that there was sth else that my ex did wayyyyy before the break up. And I realised that it’s rlly not worth it anymore to think of/abt him. I got engaged to Anwar, mid of the year. I think twice if this is rlly what i want. Yes, i wna settle down but am i doing the right thing ? But as time goes by.. Anwar really showed me.. he guided me all the way, and has never given up. I know right at that moment that he deserves everything in this world. Everything seems to be going really smooth from then on. Gotten over my ex and what he did. Yes... until......

2017 happened. Ally Marcia existed. And it happened again. This girl gave me the shittiest time of my life ever. Im not saying she’s fully at fault. I did scold Anwar for what he did.. he regretted it cause he knows & sees what a minah i can be, when im fucking mad 😂

I felt really empty and useless and worthless. Like why is this happening to me again. Do i really deserve this kind of shit. And again, i shut down from Anwar for almost a month. Zero sayang, zero ‘i love you’, zero kisses, zero attention. I just dk what else to do. I really feel like i wasn’t good enough, no matter how hard i tried.

Tbh, even up till today, just by hearing her name or knowing anyth abt her, can make me feel like i wna kill her... still. Yes. Its really that bad.

She didnt wna give up on trying to get Anwar, even aft 5 months. Even i myself give up on getting mad. Sampai maki maki. Okay im not the kind of person who always curse. But this girl.... i rlly cannot tahan. Can you believe it, even when i sound her and told her to stop it, she still wna disturb my rs and still wna teach my Anwar to lie to me just so she can meet Anwar ? Ridiculous.

But anyways... ive forgave anwar fr all that he did and yes it took alot to make me trust him again. But his efforts is A++. Anwar & I are happy now, with what we both have & with wtv we had faced previously. He has been putting so much efforts in our relationship,to make us work. He did everything for my happiness. He did everything for me. He supports me in everything that i do. Yes, he is my forever & always.

2 years of recovery.. because.. there is existence of 2 unnecessary girls.

Im so glad its the end of the year cause i rlly wna forget all these and put all of these behind. I really love Anwar & ya if you girls wna be close to him.. for no apparent reason, kau standby je kene satu penumbuk. I hope we will get better and better as days goes by.

I love you potato, always 💖

Thank you for existing in my life & making things better for me always.

#nrfdxnwr