#it's all quite poorly constructed narratively imo

[rawliverandgoronspice]

So let me get this straight. TOTK!Rauru had repeatedly requested that the Gerudo join the ‘protective embrace’ of his kingdom, to serve him. Protection from whom? The monster clans? If anything, the Gerudo seem at the peak of their power! They have some measure of control over the molduga, the fiercest of the desert’s monsters. It’s also established elsewhere that the Secret Stones merely amplify one’s existing power—that one would catapult Ganon to near-unstoppable heights speaks of his already formidable might. With him at the helm, the Gerudo were ready and willing to invade Hyrule. Until Rauru demonstrated a superweapon that quite literally vaporized any notion of a military assault—a superweapon that Rauru (and his cohort) brazenly wears. Ganon is entreating a party wearing nuclear launch codes around their necks! And those aren’t even the only Secret Stones in Rauru’s possession, later handing those out as he sees fit to the Sages. Of course, the narrative portrays Rauru as someone who would never abuse that kind of power—he’s a Good King. But that’s a terrifying Sword of Damocles.

Yep. Pretty much.

Also I'd like to point out that apparently, Rauru's "sin", and what passes off as his character arc (so far, I haven't finished the whole game yet), is that he was too confident that he'd keep Ganondorf under control as a vassal? Like, okay what were the options otherwise? What should he have done that he didn't do? Like in OoT/TP beforehand: was Rauru supposed to simply imprison the king of a foreign nation just because he didn't pass the vibe check --or worse, kill him off? And then what happens to the gerudo? I feel like we've gone down this road before, and it didn't lead anywhere pretty...

This is what I mean about the poor character writing in this game: I think Rauru is supposed to be the emotional core of the story, and he might be the only one with an "arc" so far, but his flaw/regret is... a whole bunch of nothing? Unless you think he should have commited genocide to protect his kingdom from evil, according to the game that refuses to examine his actions/power, there's nothing he should have done differently besides... not having his wife be murdered? That's not a character arc, that's just an unfortunate event you participated in unwillingly!! To make a comparaison that is worth being brought up: the king of Hyrule in BotW worked much better in that regard, because he is indeed partially responsible for the fall of his kingdom through the pressure he inflicted upon his daughter and the prideful belief that he could control a force of nature (Calamity Ganon being treated as such in that game) through technology; both of these attitudes costing him everything, condemning his daughter to a century-long fight and said technology ruling the lands through terror in his stead. As a ghost, he haunts the wreckage waiting for the hero to wake up to try and finally correct his mistakes through Link.

I think they kind of wanted to do that again in TotK, but it extremely doesn't land in my opinion because Rauru has no flaw --beyond, apparently, not being bigoted enough?

[st-highwind]

...so three (3) of you were nice to me and i blacked out and word vomited two documents of scene mapping and worldbuilding. my ideas are still jumbled, so here's what i have ambitions for as copy-pasted from ren and I's dms:

long post, all non-canon, lots of blabbering, but i'm happy about it below.

reworked dark crystals, new dungeons, and new archfiends! archfiend names are open to constructive criticism lol

- mist pass: the still-in-progress passage that workers of both baron and damcyan attempted to construct after the collapse of the mountains per Rydia's titan summon. soldiers and workers kept disappearing, so eventually damcyan and baron just quit sending people there and deemed the place cursed. time passed as cecil and the crew ventured to try and save more crystals, and holy elemental creatures began making their home there. this includes Seraphitz, archfiend of light, a creature in possession of the light crystal that was corrupted by its holy power.

- adamant mines: different from whatever was in tay bc screw tay. the crystal of energy is kept well hidden in the labyrinthine mines that connect to the underworld as a sort of back entrance. the adamant ore is difficult to harness amidst all the lightning-elemental monsters, thus the mines are largely abandoned. ghostly automatons trudge around poorly-lit tunnels with too many corners, all of which condense and lead to statigge (stati-jey), archfiend of thunder and guardian of the energy crystal.

- serpent's lair: a winding undersea shipyard (in an underwater passage connecting the overworld and underworld) littered with many a ship lost to the sea. it is suspected that this was cagnazzo's domain, forgone as he took control of baron under Golbezemus' command. the deeper the party travels, the colder the air grows and the more ice monsters begin appearing. ghiaccio, archfiend of ice, has seized control of the area and is not keen on trespassers.

- the sealed cave: it pretty well stays the way it is, except the demon wall boss happens on the way *to* the shadow crystal, the prize of the dungeon. after the crystal is acquired, the party is revitalized by the crystal (and are confused by such) only to find malnotte, archfiend of shadow, waiting for them outside where the demon wall was originally fought.

other ideas:

- the tower of zot is actually a dreadnought protected by heavy winds from barbariccia, which is why it can't be seen on the world map. when barbariccia destroys the place after her defeat, the dreadnought falls into the sea off the southern coast of troia. it can be explored as an optional dungeon later (ruins of zot).

- something new has to happen with mt hobbs. it's so big with so little significance. i need to concoct something to happen there.

- i also want to revise travel mechanisms. i now need something for underwater travel, or perhaps rydia and leviathan can work something out and he can big snake bus the party down to the ice dungeon or ruins of zot. chocobos imo are underutilized, esp the black chocobo, as well as the hovercraft from edward. we get not one not two but THREE airships and only three narrative-required deviations from airships to reach dungeons.

- the devil's road should not be a mini-dungeon like in tay, but instead function similarly to teleport in ff2: the party loses significant health after passing through. it's killed people before, those who passed through and didn't possess the vitality, and that's why it was sealed off.

- if anyone has an ffiv oc, please let me know!! i want to write them in!! i want to give more life to the villages and towns. i already intend to write in some friends here on ffiv tumblr as shopkeepers, innkeepers, or just townsfolk!! you wanna be a hummingway? be a hummingway!!! LMK!!!!!

this is only a few ideas i have. please let me know your thoughts!

[masterthespianduchovny]

Tbh, nothing is wrong with two leads of a show or core characters getting together. Quite frankly, I’d argue that it works better from a writer and audience stance than it does to introduce a new character/love interest.

Imho, the issue isn’t that it’s done, it’s how it’s done.

Some shows can be incredibly lazy and obvious about their intent, which is what ruins that build up. Characters are immediately attracted to each other just because (and I mean in a way that is clearly contrived and doesn’t make sense to the narrative), and then all this work is done to either separate them or keep them separated.

Either the actors have no real chemistry or have chemistry, but the material is severely lacking.

Sometimes it’s just two good looking people.

And some tragic cases, it’s no chemistry, good looking, and subpar material.

Or they’re getting together because they’re leads. No narrative purpose, just “lead.”

When you watch poorly constructed romances; yeah, of course you’re tired and burned out.

There’s the argument that men and women can be friends, which I argue. However, I really don’t hear these same people loudly support and uplift the platonic m/f relationships in media. The only time they talk about men and women being friends is when they don’t want two people getting together opposed to chatting about the friendships they’ve enjoyed that was portrayed on tv.

The thing about shippers: we never shut the fuck up about our ship. Show could be off the air for 10 years and we’re still going hard. Where as the noromo crowd are quiet and only reacting to a ship opposed to supporting the platonic friendships they crave so much. Like why don’t I see viral posts about Ron and Leslie all that often? (If at all, tbh).) why don’t I see random tumblr posts about them or Twitter threads? Do y’all have to do that?

No.

However, some writers will go where they get the most support.

Tbh, I’d argue that many writers and show runners want to tell a love story. This example could age poorly, which is fine, but I think Ted x Rebecca from Ted Lasso was crafted with romance in mind. It’s quite weird to get upset at them not maintaining a friendship (if they get together) because “men and women can be friends without romance or sex” when the original plan (presumably) was for them to get together. In a sense, some are arguing that writers shouldn’t tell the story they want to tell because they like the first part of their relationship (friendship), but hate the other part (romance, despite it having not happened yet).

Imo, this series has clearly set up that this relationship is supposed to end in a romance, which if true, was always the plan. The writers have been upfront that everything in the show has been planned out before the show was even greenlit, which is why it’s ending after three seasons.

We know see this happening with The Bear. Some people are clamoring at the fact that Jeremy said Carmy’s not thinking about sex and sex is absent from the narrative. But the series is seemingly setting up something. And, if they are, that means that it’s always been the plan for Syd and Carmy to have romantic feelings. This show dropped all at once so it’s not like the fans pressured the show to do anything. And, yet, there are things in the narrative that hints at a foundation being laid for romance.

And this is primarily a prominent character syndrome. Whether or not they actually have a friendship, if someone even gets a sniff that they might end up together or they have shippers, it’s “why can’t men and women be just friends???” If the lead is shipped with someone else apart of the main/core cast, that’s fine.

I remember when many were afraid of Ted x Keeley being a thing, but instead they have a great friendship. Their friendship is hardly talked about, as in no one asking for it to be featured more and celebrating it. Instead, it’s “why do Ted and Rebecca have to end up (together” as these people pair Ted with his therapist ?literally because she did her job, I’m not joking) and are all in on Rebecca dating a player, despite her being the owner. They don’t even celebrate the Rebecca x Roy friendship that much or Rebecca x Leslie. Apparently, it doesn’t count because one of them are in relationships.

Even though Ted and Rebecca are close, I’m not sure if I’d define their closeness as a friendship. It’s very hard to define. Or, at least, I wouldn’t define them as besties like some people try to do. There’s a lot of weird elements that can’t be summed up to friendship that some are in denial about.

With The Bear, Sydney is only supposed to have a mentee/mentor relationship with Carmy, despite that not really being their relationship. Or a CDC/sous chef relationship, which again, that not really being their relationship although it’s their official label. The series sets up that they’re really partners before officially having Carmy ask Sydney to be his partner. They don’t have the dynamic people claim nor are they friends. Yet, the same people will ship Sydney with Marcus and Richie.

Disclaimer: I don’t have issues with other ships, however, there is a level of hypocrisy and willful ignorance behind many of these arguments. Like, someone may not see it for a ship, but when a series is clearly setting something up and the person is ignoring it, imo, they’re bad actors here.

The love interest who isn’t apart of the friend group or working closely with the lead shines in movies. It’s a tighter story with a tighter focus. The movies that do feature m/f friendships, again, tend to fall in the wayside of active support. Not money, but discussed platonic relationships.

Lastly, the most memorable and iconic couples are mostly either pairings from the core cast OR the couple was already established. In all honesty, this makes sense.

Romance or not, fans usually don’t take well to new characters popping up years later. You also have to integrate this person into the show without it feeling forced. We also want to be invested in this romance if that’s what’s being sold.

Not only does the writing have to be good and work on several levels, this person has to have chemistry with not just whoever they’re paired with, but the other characters as well depending on the show. The only show I know of off the top of my head able to do that was HIMYM. And it was considered a remarkable feat.

Where as building a romance with existing characters have fans more likely to invest, stick with, and root for the pairing. The romance is more likely to feel earned and natural to the narrative.

And I’m not saying there aren’t any love interest later on introduced who don’t work, I’m saying they don’t work as often as established characters.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

IMO Aziraphale immediately starts off on the wrong foot and that conversation never recovers: you're the bad guys. There's something so alienating and condescending in that statement that as soon as I heard it I KNEW this wasn't going to end happily. I love Aziraphale but you cannot hope to give an offer that opens with that and expect Crowley to not argue/refuse. It comes from a place of ignorance and wasn't meant to be hurtful, but its still damning.

The whole offer in the first place is unnerving to me, even though I know logically WHY Aziraphale thinks it's a good thing. I'd never ask my queer friends to try to make peace with their homophobic families that disowned them- and that's the first allegory that came to mind for me.

oh there is no doubt in my mind that aziraphale wasn't also a chump in this dialogue too, anon, quite the opposite!!!

"you're the bad guys" as you mentioned, is a careless and thoughtless statement, especially now it confers a sense of superiority that you'd think aziraphale would have lost the majority of by now... i do have my very loose, poorly constructed argument as to what i think aziraphale actually meant by that line, but it's difficult to defend (because it is in fact largely indefensible), and so all i'll say is that i truly don't think he intended it as it came across - i think by this point in the narrative he is for the most part able to separate crowley as a person and crowley as a demon, and it is the latter to which he's referring to here. but in any case, still a really shit thing to say.

i do think aziraphale thought, whilst naively and in that naivety with carelessness, very innocently in offering what he did to crowley. the crowley he loves, wants by his side, is a good person. and heaven is inherently meant to be the side of good; by aziraphale's account, whilst it's currently a shitshow, its fundamental intention is truth, and light, and good. so why wouldn't crowley want to help him change it back to this? he's already halfway there to being an angel, in being a good person, and he didn't deserve to fall - let heaven make its reparations to crowley and offer the chance to be back in the fold! to help aziraphale remove the corruption and rot, and ensure that they and everyone else never has to hide ever again...?

we know obviously this was never going to happen from crowley's perspective, but we appear to know way more about crowley's trauma and history than aziraphale does. that is a big bit of context missing, and if aziraphale had that too, i don't think he would have even entertained the idea. would have rejected it in the room (or at the table). crowley might not be ready or willing to tell aziraphale that, for many reasons, but that doesn't make it aziraphale's fault either.

i won't pretend to speak as if i have any authority on the queer allegory, and especially its relation to religious trauma; im not queer and im not religious/was raised secular, and i think it would be disingenuous for me to comment on this as if i truly understood it (hope that comes across as i meant it, anon!!!💕)

but i do agree with you; i too would never ask that of my friend, my lover, whoever. but i think - and this may be my failing because of the fact im not queer and have never had this awful kind of thing happen to me - i don't see heaven as being a family. to go into how i see heaven (aziraphale/crowley's allegorical relationship to it) however would make this a very long post, so if anyone is in fact interested id be happy to elaborate on this in a different ask!!!✨

[thechangeling]

God id literally send all the violence asks if possible but for now ill limit myself to 1,6,8

For now-

Ok I'm assuming this is just in general and not limited to a specific fandom.

1. Which character does everyone always get wrong?

God I could list so many, but the main two that come to mind are Wylan and Ty (both autistic/coded characters hmmm I'm sure that's a coincidence!/s).

Right now I'm going with Ty. A lot if people just don't write him correctly imo and you could argue that's relative, but it becomes glaringly obvious when you change the way he speaks, making it way too formal or way too casual. And yeah you could argue this is me being picky, and yeah I've definitely screwed up the voices of other characters before like Kit. (I have such a hard time nailing Kit's pov and @sandersgrey makes it look so easy I want to bite him/j)

But anyways it bugs me when people dumb Ty down on certain things for the sake of convenience for the plot or make him less competent... again for the sake of the plot and so Kit has to rescue him. He is actually a good fighter and a good shadowhunter in canon! He just doesn't LIKE doing it. He would much rather investigate shit. He hates training but not because he finds it difficult, but because getting an autistic person to do anything they don't want on your schedule is like hearding cats.

Not to mention exercise leads to sweat, and sweat is a sensory nightmare. Also this may seem petty but Ty being bad at math is super important to me. We never get ANY bad at math autistics! So it pisses me off when people try and overwrite that because they're a math gay or whatever or even if they're a math autistic. You literally have tons of math autistic characters! Leave this one alone he's OURS!

Also just the general allistic person writing autistic characters vibes I get from a lot of fics. Either they completely steamroll of his autism and don't even include it in an attempt to not other him, or they play it up in weird and incorrect ways. Or sometimes quite frankly the vibes are just off, and that's annoying because I don't have any constructive feedback for that.

Also what's annoying is sometimes canon is ableist, so sticking directly to canon like the bible will lead to you putting ableism uncritically into your fics. A good example of this is the "nobody ever tells Ty things" phenomenon which still persists in the secrets of Blackthorn Hall. It's a good plot device sure, but ableist and annoying.

6. Which ship has the most annoying fans?

Honestly there are annoying fans in every ship I can think of. But the ones that bother me the most have gotta be Certain spuffy shippers (Spike and Buffy from Buffy The Vampire Slayer) who kind of steamroll over all of the toxic shit Spike has said/done to Buffy and pretend like he is always objectively right about everything he says about or to her. Plus the lack of acknowledging the racism of the narrative in the episode "Lies my parents told me" and immediately jumping to "Spike did nothing wrong!"

Like, if I as a white person can acknowledge how poorly Robin was treated in season 7, then I can only imagine how fans of color especially Black fans feel.

Sorry I know you don't have context for any of this but just trust me lol.

Also the handling of Seeing Red into season 7 was not good imo and a lot of spuffy shippers ignore that. I love their relationship from a narrative perspective and I love analyzing it and what it says about the characters and the story they're in, but I can't interact with a lot of spuffy shippers because they get under my skin.

8. What's one popular fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

I don't really know if it's popular but I've been seeing it a fair amount recently. The idea that Ty looking Kit in the eye is romantic or special in some way.

We gotta nip that crap in the bud right now. Eye contact, for a lot of autistic people is not just uncomfortable but physically painful. A lot of autistic people describe it as a burning or stabbing sensation. I experience it like a giant poker stabbing through the top of my skull. Most of the time we do it because we have to, not because we want to.

Of course this isn't true for everyone. Every autistic person is different, it's a spectrum. But Ty is cannonly someone who rarely makes eye contact, presumably because he doesn't like it.

Now unfortunately CC has contributed to this problem by having Ty occassionally make eye contact with Kit or other members of his family in intimate situations, creating this idea that Ty putting himself through pain or discomfort for the people he loves is something we should admire and romanticize. But it's not.

Honestly you could solve a lot of this by actually having Ty's pov, because then you would know how he feels about it.

So yeah. Those are my hot takes lol.

[yamayuandadu]

For the character breakdown, I’d love to see hadad, anat, shapash, yam, mot, athtar, kothkar and khasis... really any of the ugaritic pantheon, of course you don’t have to do all of them >.<, I’d just love to see your hot takes

I shall rise up to the challenge! I’m the only person on this site obsessed with Ugarit as far as I can tell... I covered everyone you asked for plus Ashtart and Yarikh. As much as I like burrowing through jstor and academia edu and persee and so on, I kind of wish there were more people approaching Ugaritic, Mesopotamian, Hittite etc. myths the way many do with Greek ones tbh - sometimes i’d just like to see which figures people think would be into gossiping and so on or which tacky modern fashion they think suits them equally as much as I want to find out if Yarikh’s portrayal in Ugaritic poetry owes more to Nanna/Sin or to the Hittite moon god. ALSO as far as this sort of light hearted takes go, there are two japanese artists on twitter who draw Baal cycle fanart: here and here.

Hadad: How I feel about this character: one of my fave mythical protagonist. I think I genuinely only like Inanna more. Going from a very relatable desire to get his own house to triumph over death is quite the journey. The relative powerlessness many interpreters point out is interesting, too - the fact he mostly gets somewhere because of allies and because even if El was the king of gods, Hadad’s attributes made him the king of people’s hearts arguably, so he has to win against overwheming odds. All the people I ship romantically with this character: Anat, Ashtart/Astarte/however we transcribe her name this week... Kothar? My non-romantic OTP for this character: given the Seth-Baal equation in Egypt and the uncertaininty over whether Astarte papyrus is about Seth or Baal under Seth’s name it’s funny to imagine them as friends. Also I’ll talk about it more underneath but since Dagan was a god with similar purposes further inland (and is attested earlier iirc) and Ugaritic texts - even though they rarely feature him - call him Hadad’s father - it would be cute to assume he also taught Hadad everything. My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m a Dagan parentage truther against all odds. It was the norm outside Ugarit! I think “Dagan isn’t in Ugaritic myths because they take place in Ugarit but people thought Dagan lives further inland in Tuttul based on prayers etc.” is enough to explain his absence from myths, and also note that in the epic Baal is “Dagan’s son” even when he’s at a low point (ex. when Yam demands he gives up his freedom or when he’s dead) and only El’s and Asherah’s son when he’s victorious for the most part (ex. during palace construction) - imo this makes it plausible that Dagan is his real dad and El and Athirat are only his parents in the way vassal rulers called emperors fathers. Likewise I think any references to siblings can be interpreted in the light of ex. kings of Ugarit calling kings of Carchemish or Alashiya brothers. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I really like how corny the Hittite/Hurrian storm god cycle is with Kumarbi constaly raising new challengers to attack Kummiya and dethrone Teshub/Tarhunna, I actually wish the Ugaritic one was longer too via a similar plot device. Also I wish Dagan actually appeared in myths alongside his son - Noga Ayali-Darshan had a theory he was in some oral tradition predating Baal cycle as the god announcing Yam demands a tribute since in Hurrian “Song of the sea” and in Egyptian “Astarte papyrus” a grain deity does this but a possible reconstruction isn’t much... Anat How I feel about this character: well, she’s not Inanna, but she’s still pretty good. I mostly like the parts of the Baal narrative which show her unpredictable character, like her probable parents being afraid of her, listing various never shown enemies she vanquished, or Mot’s death. Aqhat myth doesn’t interest me much. That myth fragment where she and Ashtart pity Yarikh because other gods treat him poorly is interesting, too. All the people I ship romantically with this character: Baal, Ashtart, that’s it I think. My non-romantic OTP for this character: she seems to get along really well with Shapash during the segment of the Baal cycle where Baal is dead. My unpopular opinion about this character: I really hate the speculation popular among bible scholars which amounts to making her, Ashtart and Athirat interchangeable to justify her irrelevance in the iron age. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: honestly? I wish an “Anat cycle” existed. She pretty clearly had a fair share of own adventures considering Baal enlists her help on the account of past accomplishments. Yam How I feel about this character: out of all antagonists in the basic middle eastern “storm god vs sea” narratives I think he has the most fun personality - Hedammu is barely a “character” and Tiamat lacks the more human dimension Yam has. All the people I ship romantically with this character: nobody, he has to move past the Astarte papyrus characterization and learn some respect for that smh My non-romantic OTP for this character: his nameless rude messenger who refused to bow down when speaking to the assembly of the gods My unpopular opinion about this character: contary to what this (very good) paper says, the Yam battle is more thrilling than the Mot one - the strength of the Mot part of the narrative comes from the visceral descriptions of Anat’s emotions but Mot is a flat villain compared to Yam. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: he had a seemingly positive role in cult and there are 13 known people with Yam theophoric names (out of 6000 or so people from Ugarit known by name) so I sort of wonder if there’s some lost myth where he’s the hero or something. Mot How I feel about this character: if nothing else, feeling offended by being offered bread and wine instead of corpses is pretty funny and a great introduction. And the pathetic attempt at a comeback shut down by Shapash is All the people I ship romantically with this character: unshippable by design tbh. My non-romantic OTP for this character: if the theory about Horon - the god from the “anti-snakebite text” and the “may horon crack your skull” curse - being a cthtonic god too - just a generally benign one - is true I think they could have a lot of comedic potential. My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t understand where the idea of a nonexistent myth about Mot kidnapping Shapash and Yarikh comes from and I wish it wasn’t all over the place online. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: some more detailed description of the afterlife - Mot, rephaim, Horon if he really lives there - would be useful... Shapash How I feel about this character: she seems severly... underrated? There are maybe two papers about her (and one underlines the fact there isn’t much research on her) and yet she’s the second most prominent goddess in the Baal cycle AND has her own narrative in the anti-snakebite texts! She might actually be more remarkable than her Mesopotamian counterpart - with all due respect for Utu/Shamash, in myths he’s the boring sibling between himself and Inanna/Ishtar... All the people I ship romantically with this character: I don’t have any real ideas, some papers assume she and Horon were a thing but this is disputable and Horon is pretty nebulous himself... My non-romantic OTP for this character: “Kothar - your close friend!” from that one hymn has that covered. Since she’s basically a divine herald perhaps they travel together? My unpopular opinion about this character: I suspect the reason why she isn’t studied more is because many researchers are stuck with some sort of false “good mother goddess - evil sex goddess” dichotomy of ancient middle eastern religion and while you can force Athirat, Anat and Ashtart into these roles, Shapash with her aura of a divine equivalent of a mundane earthly official doesn’t fit into it and as such is ignored. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I said I hate the false Mot myth spreading online but I actually do wish there was a myth or at least a cult text of some sort showing what sort of relation existed between her and Yarikh - safe to say it didn’t mirror Shamash and Sin... Kothar-wa-Khasis How I feel about this character: huge fan of artisan gods and he seems genuinely nice. One of my Ugaritic b-list favorites. I like that he’s a reneissance man - armorer, architect, even a musician... The theory that he was developed based on Ptah since Memphis had a large foreign population is great. All the people I ship romantically with this character: Baal sort of? I imagine Baal is actually relatively knowledgeable about architecture given the length of the window debate in the Baal cycle... My non-romantic OTP for this character: Shapash, as I said earlier. My unpopular opinion about this character: based on the tale of King Keret some researchers argue he’s meant to be ugly like Greek Haephestus, but since I like the Ptah theory and his appearance isn’t described elsewhere AND King Keret might be satire where everyone is their worst self possible, I prefer to imagine him as handsome One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: supposedly from Caphtor and yet we never see Caphtor (Crete) in Ugaritic myths... come on, ancient scribes, surely someone went there? Maybe even recorded some proper Minoan myths? Ashtart How I feel about this character: she’s my favorite Ugaritic figure of limited relevance. An Ishtar/Inanna equivalent who seemingly curses other gods and presides over political pacts is a pretty solid premise! And it’s funny she rebukes Baal seemingly for insufficient dedication in battle. I wonder if the Egyptian fragment which implies Yam acted lecherous towards her is a factor in this tbh. Perhaps an earlier oral tradition had both these elements...? All the people I ship romantically with this character: Baal (her title is “face of baal”/”of the name of baal”, c’mon...), Anat (almost always listed together!) My non-romantic OTP for this character: Keret curses his son with a formula invoking both Horon and her so perhaps that’s who she’s learning curses from. My unpopular opinion about this character: I hate that “Astarte is Asherah” is widespread just because people want to defend the historicity of the biblical Jezebel narrative which probably even the biblical compilersdidn’t view as historical. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish she didn’t vanish from the Baal cycle after Yam’s defeat :C Attar How I feel about this character: this sure is... a guy. He’s so pathetic in the Baal cycle it’s hard to even see him as an antagonist - sorry, Handbook of Ugaritic Studies... All the people I ship romantically with this character: nobody, Shapash points out he’s single as the reason why he can’t rule and i don’t think that changes in any subsequent texts? But then Marriage of Nikkal and Yarikh iirc mentions he has a daughter... My non-romantic OTP for this character: again, nobody. My unpopular opinion about this character: he’s actually a pretty vital part of the Baal cycle and the fact he gives up on own accord makes him more interesting than the other “failed god” in a similar narrative, Ashtabi. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: a god with the same name was prominent in present day Yemen so I guess finding some direct connection would be nice - it fits with him leaving to “rule elsewhere” in the myth! Yarikh How I feel about this character: he’s so pitiful in the fragment which compares him to a dog begging for scraps... His main myth is pretty good too, tbh it’s the best middle eastern marriage myth imo - I actually don’t care for Dumuzi much, but Yarikh is cool. All the people I ship romantically with this character: only Nikkal-wa-Ib My non-romantic OTP for this character: given his mistreatment and Nikkal’s father(?) saying he could be a son in law of Baal I assume that in some unknown texts they must have been allies. Note that the Hittite storm god has the sun and moon gods acting as his metaphorical eyes warning him against Kumarbi’s new plots in song of Ullikummi. Also I assume Anat and Ashtart must consider him a friend given how they help him when nobody else does? All around he feels like a god in Baal’s orbit even though we have 0 direct proof for it. My unpopular opinion about this character: I think trying to correct him to Nanna is a doomed endeavor tbh. Their wives have similar names but Yarikh doesn’t give the impression of a “Father of gods” type deity in what little we know about him. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more myths. None we know show him as the moon even though it’s literally his name! I am afraid I don’t have anything interesting to say about El and Athirat. Handbook of Ugaritic Studies has an amazing El summary that I generally stick to, I can post a cap if you are interested.

[kinetic-elaboration]

The 100 Ask Game

Tagged by @thelittlefanpire --thank you! This looks like fun.

Soooo okay, first, full disclosure: I haven’t watched S5. I stopped watching toward the end of S4 for Reasons. So there might be a little bit of salt and/or confusion in some of my answers. But only a little; this blog is still a positive space and it is, of course, Show Night: a big fandom night regardless of my personal participation.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Hmm. Well I have farmers and factory workers in my family but I don't know which end of a wrench is up myself. I guess I'd probably be from one of the stations we know nothing about like Hydro or Tesla. It would be cool to be from Mecha but I'm not a mechanical person in the slightest lol.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Probably theft. I'm not a thief in real life but I do like eating and comfort and I'm p. sure the only way to get anything above subsistence-level rations on the Ark is to do some law-breaking.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

I'm too much of a rule-follower to do it on my own but I would definitely be a sucker for Bellamy's "take off your wrist band as payment for some delicious puma meat" plan. To heck with this silly piece of metal, I want to eat.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Some sort of large cat. Or small cat, not picky.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

If Wells counts as a minor character, then Wells. Otherwise...perhaps M'Benge. He looked like a promising delinquent.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. This is partly practical--I do think they're the smartest/most capable members of the group--but also partly about the Narrative. They're my favorites.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

I guess Trikru based on where I live? Or again, some clan we know nothing about. I don't know anything about Trikru's non-warriors so perhaps I could be one of them.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Skipping this one because I don't give my real name or any variants online, sorry.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Okay. My general thought on Finn is that he had an appropriately sized role in the narrative--which is more than I can say about a lot of other characters, many of whom, imo, were either killed too early, or too late/not at all when they should have been, or who take up way too much screen time, or are given way too little for their worth. But Finn contributed decently well to the first season--sometimes oddly, in that, once he outlived his usefulness as a love interest, he was shoe-horned into a Peacemaker role that probably should have been Wells's. But at least he was contributing a needed and consistent POV. And while I go back and forth a bit on how realistic I find his season 2 breakdown... I think it is more realistic than not, at least narratively. He seems like the sort who would have a breakdown after a battle, and the short timespan of 2A makes it more likely, not less, to me, that he would spiral quickly into something so atrocious: no time to cool down, to get perspective, to heal. Also, he had a completely unique story, which is also pretty rare on a show that likes to reuse its plot points. (Sorry! It does though.) I can also honestly say that Finn's death and funeral still ranks as one of the most resonant and heartbreaking moments of the series, for me. I have a hard time with any sort of capital punishment story line usually but I really felt for this one and I think it was very well done.

So basically what I'm saying is that I think Finn was decently well used as a character--like B+ narrative role, docked for the random interest in peace and the occasionally annoying nature of his personality. Because he could be annoying. He and Clarke didn't have much chemistry and he and Raven had surprisingly little, too, given how important they allegedly were to each other. And one of the good aspects of his death was that, not only was the event itself well-constructed and moving, but he wasn't exactly missed, by me or by the story, after he was gone. He served his purpose. I'm glad he wasn't on the show longer. (Except for that post speculating on a Finn/Murphy redemption arc/love story, which I would have watched and cheered on for sure.)

I don't hate him, though, and it does annoy me a little that he almost always shows up in fic as the 2d villain, the shitty ex/boyfriend, the annoyance. I mean, I get the appeal of having a readily available character like that (ngl I've used him that way at least once myself) but like.... it's not my fave trope, let's put it that way.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I've thought about this some, not so much as it pertains to me, but in comparison to some other Failed Utopia plots in other fiction, and because my sleeping beauty au involves Clarke taking the chip, and it was very hard for me to bring her to a place where I felt like she could realistically, and in an in-character way, make that choice. But it's also been a while since I watched S3 and it's difficult for me to remember at what point different aspects of the CoL became obvious to the characters. Certainly, I can see the appeal. I think anyone can. It's an interesting concept and one I actually wished had gotten more time in the show... I think anything that obviously perfect (live forever in a wonderful city, away from pain and death and hardship!) should immediately cause warning bells: what's the catch here? Taking the chip without knowing the answer to that question is an assumption of the risk sort of situation, except you can't predict what the risk is, and the stakes are enormously high. Not exactly smart, and I like to think I am smart. I also have a great fear of AI and VR, which would make me wary.

On the other hand, I'd do poorly in the impoverished landscape of the post-apocalypse, which might make the chip more tempting. Also, if ALIE and friends tortured me or someone I loved, I would take the chip like that. No question, I am weak.

11. What character do you relate to most?

I relate to the intensity of Jasper's feelings, and to Monty's method of shutting down emotionally as a survival mechanism.

Generally I wouldn't say I have much in common with any of the characters, though, and I don't really watch because I 'relate' to anyone, personally.

12. What character do you like the least?

My first instinct is to say I dislike a lot of the characters, which is true but... I also spend almost no time thinking about the ones I dislike. My fandom experience at this point is very much about retreating into the aspects of the show/canon/fanon I like, and ignoring everything else. That said... probably M/di and J/rdan because the whole concept of a Next Generation down from the delinquents offends me, and also because they're both so universally loved that it's quite hard to avoid them. Also b/c J's name corresponding to that of my fave character makes blacklisting really obnoxious lol.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Mmm, something comfortable. A nice jacket, like Clarke or Bellamy's S1 jackets, or Jasper's pilot jacket. Nothing with weird patches like Murphy's S1 or Jasper's S3 jackets. A shirt with something interesting written on it like Jasper's Earth Day shirt. Big boots. A nice heirloom necklace. Multiple layers. Knitted wristlets like Clarke has in early S1. A sweater with thumb holes like Monty has in S4.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

All the mutants! I really feel like the show missed some good opportunities in the irradiated-animal department. Take some $$$ from the explosion budget, or the Boring Side Character payroll, and invest in some more two-headed beasts. But if I had to pick one, I'd say Lincoln's two-faced horse, because the image of him saving Clarke and Finn in late S1 is so underrated but so iconic.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I don't think I have many useful Ark skills. Archivist, perhaps? Member of their proto-justice system? Probably that, though I don't know what sort of jobs, specifically, make up that unit. Though I have some ideas; see: a fic I haven't yet actually written.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Gross. But probably if I had to, I'd force myself to.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I gotta tell you, I literally do not care, nor have I have ever cared, about the commander or Grounder leadership in the slightest. They all seem pretty incompetent. They should cede their power to the Sky People, who are marginally less terrible at running things.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

You'd never know from my obsession with alternate states but I have never been high, nor intoxicated in any way, so I really can't say. Hopefully calm and happy like M'Benge in the broom closet. But probably miserable and confused and afraid of my inability to corral my thoughts.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Interesting question. I actually think the Charlotte story line was one of the best of S1, probably the show as a whole, and I kind of wish it had played out more long term, instead of just being, in retrospect, more of an excuse for some drama. I mean that is one of the central dilemmas of a new society, as the dropship camp was starting to be at that time: what do you do with people who break the rules and/or are dangerous? They had roughly three options: execute the wrongdoer (which eliminates the problem pretty efficiently, if brutally); ignore the issue entirely through immediate forgiveness; or apply some punishment in between, like imprisonment. This situation in particular was more complicated because, first, technically, they had 'no rules' at the time (killing is just, uh, obviously wrong), second, the actual perpetrator was a child, and third, she was so obviously unstable as to seem a likely continued threat. And in addition to all THAT, Bellamy and Clarke were such tenuous leaders (Clarke wasn't really a leader at all, so really I should say Bellamy was a tenuous leader) that any option that didn't go along with the will of the majority could cause a complete break in legitimacy. So it's really a delicate scenario. One I can't say I have an answer to.

I will say I think banishment is literally the worst thing they could have done, for either Murphy or Charlotte, if she had lived, and I think the narrative bears this out. It looks like a good compromise but it's cruel and it's dangerous. Cruel because they have to assume the banished person would die in the wilderness, and if you believe he deserves death, shouldn't you just execute him? Have the courage of your convictions? Take on the full moral weight of your decisions? A hanging death is probably less awful than slow starvation or being eaten by a wild animal. And dangerous because if he doesn't die, he's an obvious target for...who's that? Your enemies in the woods? Which is exactly what happened? They brought that whole bio-weapon story line on themselves, tbh. I think it was an in-character decision for a couple of dumbass kids, but that's not the same thing as saying it was smart.

I like to think I would have sided with Bellamy early on, in being careful about what information goes out to the camp as a whole. I mean, it's not perhaps the most moral decision, but it's practical--and certainly inciting a riot, as Clarke ended up doing, is neither practical nor moral, so there's that. If the actual perpetrator had been found before Murphy was caught up in the mess... I guess some sort of middle-ground punishment is the best you can do. Imprisonment, shitty work shifts. Showing consequences for bad actions and trying to keep the group safe. Hopefully if there was enough tact in the beginning of the process, the crowd could be convinced to go along with it. I don't know, though. It's tough.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Bellamy.

Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy.

Honestly, watch the first season, or even, arguably, the first three, and tell me that ultimately becoming Chancellor wouldn't be a neat, logical, and emotionally satisfying conclusion for Bellamy's arc.

Obviously, it would take him some time to get there. Before then... I don't know. If I had to pick among one of the former Chancellors, I'd go with Abby I suppose.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Oh gosh they're all terrible lol. I guess I'd pick Kane as the least of the three evils. He certainly was in the right once Pike's anti-Grounder agenda went into play, but I don't exactly think he had the ear of the people prior to the election, which is why I'm not enthusiastic. But, still. You gotta get through the Dark Times to get to Chancellor Bellamy, I guess.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

I'd grab up some interesting books. Possibly a stuffed animal because I like soft things. A nice piece of art.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Lol I don't care what universe we're in, I'm never getting a tattoo. Hair: probably something simple and loose. War paint: pass, as I wouldn't be a warrior.

24. Favorite quote?

I suppose Jasper's quote about wounds needing to heal before they become scars.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I've never read or watched the Hunger Games but I'm nevertheless going to say Raven. She's just been the deus ex machina too many times.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least favorite: M/rper

Favorite canon: ummmmm idk not excited by most canon ships tbh. Probably Jasper/Maya, maybe Mackson or Briller.

Favorite non-canon: Jonty

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF DURAN DURAN

Lol, Idk. Something poppy and 80s would amuse me, though. In part because the show needs to take itself at least 75% less seriously.

I don't have any opinions on cameos.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Hopefully make friends with Murphy.

29. You're an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Something painless and quick?? I don't know. Poison?? Nice dramatic non-bloody death?

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

JASPER. OBVIOUSLY.

...Lol I think this question is really about plausible character flashbacks and if so.... well first off ANY flashback about the Ark is 100% my thing, and flashbacks about almost any delinquent would be great. We're still not in the realm of the plausible, though, imo.

Raven, perhaps? Always want more Raven.

31. A character you’d bang?

Raven. Even though she'd intimidate me a lot.

Monty (as an adult, ofc).

A lot of the characters are bangable tbh. Might be faster to name those I wouldn't...

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Uhhhh none of the above??

I suppose the bunker. (This answer is based on the concepts of bunker/space/alone on Earth, not what actually happened in S5.)

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Read a lot and make friends. Idk if I'd follow Octavia since I just don't have enough data on the season... but from my understanding of her recent arc, probably not.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

???

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

I wouldn't last a year in space with such a small group of people but hopefully Raven and I would hook up before I spontaneously expired.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Definitely less than a year.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Eligius ship? I don't know her.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

???

39. Would you Spacewalk?

No. But actually. Probably yes. I'd totally freak out about the idea, swear a million times I'd never do it, then get cajoled into trying by my beautiful girlfriend Raven, and I'd love it so much I'd immediately want to do it again.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Algae?

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

There's no way I'd make it this far in the narrative in real life. I didn't even get there in fictional life.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

I guess the thumb drive thing sounds less disgusting.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

I don't have any siblings (well, no siblings with whom I have a real sibling relationship) so, yeah, sure, why not lol?

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like M/rper?

Leave my body behind on Earth, please, where it belongs.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

New planet? I dunno what that means lol.

[whifferdills]

"The Pyramid at the End of the World" quicktakes:

the Previously On/Now intercutting was a neat trick, i like it

Bill/Penny are adorable. i love that Penny very much does not believe Bill's story, but hangs around anyway

also i love that the simulation only got it slightly wrong - interrupting UN, not interrupting pope. and that instead of just running, Penny excuses herself. still 'fuck this i'm audi 500' but less of a door closed between them, and less - depending on how the simulation was really constructed - less informed by Bill's fear of, or expectation of, abandonment

'straight and narrow' lmao

12 playing something twinkly and mournful on the guitar while monologue-ing, i am weak for this

is this the new American Football album? delete all your rock star AUs, 12 clearly is an Emo. they filled in as guitar player for Christie Front Drive once, pass it on

forreal tho that shot from the floof to 12's stupid face like i want to stay gen here but

(the untucked shirt with unbuttoned collar and cuffs is not helping here. this rumpled can't-be-fucked poorly-put-together boy. and is the red shirt matching the monks' red robes like a Thing orrr?)

12's continuing championing of Bill gettin' some

it's the butterfly effect 12 was making fun of Bill for suggesting in "Thin Ice". i am not smart enough to know what this means. good editing, tho, i like how the glass-breaking glasses-breaking inserts pop up as punctuation

Erica is great, can she stay? (i'd imagine the casting of a little person was deliberate, 'the right person for the job' isn't enough to change what a default, average character looks like. but the role really could have been played by anyone, so the fact that we got Rachel Denning is just, it's nice, it's good, the bar is very low but still. representation matters. casual off-handed no big deal rep doubly so.)

”What do you depend on?” “Air, water, food, beer.” you and me both Nardole

"Are you following me?" the AV Club described this bit as vaudeville and, yes, it's such a corny old-school comedic beat, and PCap and Lucas sell it, or undersell it, as a direct bit of physical comedy that's goofy, yeah, but not unreasonably so and it’s so nice

(i do kind of enjoy it when PCap chews the scenery but his ability to toss away lines has been a highlight of the past three seasons and i'll miss that, in addition to all the other things i'll miss about 12)

Peter Harness, what are you trying to say here? love is consent? is this About something? This feels like classic Harness, like i can see all the shit he loves and insists on taping onto Dr Who, a place where What Peter Harness Wants doesn't quite belong. the big world-trotting set pieces, the conception of Humanity as a vague blob represented by archetypes, the ill-advised attempt at following real-world rules, the grand metaphors that get fucked to high hell somewhere along the way. none of the stuff between the military leaders rises above 'acceptable i guess', and it's mediocre in a way where i can tell it's meant to be Deep and Insightful, but i can't figure how. i do know that the aesthetic rubs me the wrong way

i will admit that the Doomsday Clock is absolutely the sort of thing DW does well playing off. just it doesn't quite...doesn't quite land.

12 knowing Bill has a Look on her face - like that they know how bullshit of a move this is, and that Bill - as kind of the stand-in for their conscience - will disapprove

bit of an Arrival vibe here, huh.

and a bit of a "End of the World pt II" vibe - the evil defeated, the Dr is doomed by something small. here it's 12's flaws that nearly do them in, the lying and hiding, the hubris. compared to 10, whose death was the good in them coming out, just made noisy by their flaws

Pearl Mackie hit that ending out of the park, a solid donger. no Harness episode complete without an iffy moment sold by the acting. (it's not bad, or out of character, and far less obnoxious than "Kill the Moon" or "The Zygpon Fuck You", but it's got that same sort of...like the Big Moment was conceived of first, and the character involved was shoved into it. it works better than it deserves to, imo)

“tell you what, old man, you’d better get my planet back” ok so maybe some lines are worth contorting your narrative to lead up to cause DANG

and PCap, too, that mix of refusing to admit things are fucked and the dawning realization that things are fucked and the ‘yeah ok so this is how i go” anyway when 12 regenerates into 13 i will Die

has anyone done the gifset comparing "you look at me and you don't see me" of "Deep Breath" with the I Can't See A Single Ding Darn Thing 12 of these past few episodes

s/o to whoever designed the 'putting the sonic glasses on' sound bc it's not too much but just There enough to underscore the movement

the strands-of-your-story, the three fates (ish) prop for the simulation thing is quite nice.

i do appreciate that 12 isn't given, like, Daredevil superpowers, just sunglasses that sort of know the layout of a room and the basic stats of the people inside it. yes their blindness is handwaved away, but

what is Nardole i mean really

his “okay here we go” when the Dr nearly comes clean

is it wrong that like. i’m upset that the next episode is kind of a reset, okay, so we don't get the Dr panicked and swooning over a dying Nardole?

and what is a Twelvedole god the two of them ok

"i’m not just sexy" awjgfeghagfwFG

“oh, and tidy up your room” like i’m not saying Twelvedole is canon but

Bill getting that moment of 'actually fuck you and fuck this what is wrong with you' AND the 'screw you i'm saving your ass' beat it's so good

so the Monks are Cybermen right like this is where this is going

NEXT ON: Missy! Bill reverse-fridges the Dr! Missy! my heart probably is just gonna fucking explode