#it's been 2 week and i'm still here

[meep-meep-richie]

´´ So you said before, that you don´t think i´m ready. The truth is, i don´t know what i´m ready for, but i am ready for something. And i think maybe that something could be with you. ´´

[askthekirbysquad]

Tragically, Tumblr doesn't allow enough options to include every game, so Dream Land 1 was removed </3 (and tragically I couldn't include an option for the spinoffs either </3 )

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 24

PREVIOUS

“What do you MEAN Smithy is in the hospital with a stab wound to his stomach?!” Nicky’s own voice is agony for his hangover but honestly, how the fuck else was he supposed to respond when he had asked Andrew where FF was and gotten that as a response.

“Calm down.” Andrew says and he looks tired, looks stressed, and maybe even just…a touch nervous?

Nicky isn’t as good as Neil at reading Andrew Minyard. He doesn’t think anyone will ever be as fluent in the language of Andrew Minyard as Neil Josten but Nicky has picked up some key phrases.

He can see when he’s making a joke that is a step too far. He can see when his cousin wants to kiss Neil but is holding back. He can see when his cousin is stressed.

He can see a guilty curve to Andrew’s spine.

“Andrew, answer me honestly, did you stab my sweet baby freshman?” Nicky asks and he’s not sure if the nausea he feels anymore is from horror or from the sheer number of drinks he had put in his system the night before.

Roland usually cuts him off before he gets this level.

Roland also has a habit of pouring heavier when he’s stressed.

Roland also also tends to make complicated fruity drinks that Nicky likes when he’s stressed.

Andrew’s jaw tenses but it’s Neil who speaks up, “It was an accident. It happened during a fight.” Neil says and Nicky throws his hands up in the air.

“You got into a FIGHT with my sweet baby freshman? Sweet little Smithy? The boy who made brownies that made me feel kinda straight for a dead woman?!” Nicky exclaims and sees Andrew and Neil open their mouths to say something but, “I promised him that if he wanted I’d get him something hard that’d mess his GUTS up but this isn’t what I MEANT.” He lets himself collapse dramatically over the table.

“Nicky, shut up!” Kevin hisses from his spot on the couch.

“When the fuck did Kevin get here?!” Because seriously, how fucked up was Nicky last night that he doesn’t remember Kevin coming on this Columbia trip? Where’d he sit? He couldn’t really remember coming over after Thanksgiving. Had Andrew put Kevin in the trunk? Had Andrew put Nicky in the trunk?

“He came with Wymack.” Neil cut in before Nicky started testing reality. “Wymack is at the hospital since he’s…uh…he’s the…”

“Medical Power of Attorney” Andrew answers.

“Yes! Thank you, the Medical power of attorney for Smith. He needed surgery and Wymack wanted to be nearby in case he had to make any pressing decisions.” Neil explains and yeah that tracks, he knows a little bit about FF’s family and knows that aside from his grandma on his dad’s side the rest can go take a long walk off a short volcano observation platform

“Okay, that explains why Kevin is here….how?! Despite all of the unwarranted advice, Kevin is not a medical professional.” Nicky says before turning to Kevin, “So Kevin, what insane Exy-related reason are you here? Don’t lie and say it’s because you want to sign the get well soon card.” He hisses.

“Fuck you!” Kevin spits, “I need to know how long Smiths is going to be out of commission and what his PT is going to look like. He was supposed to be starting during the spring season.” Kevin growls.

“There it is!” Nicky throws up his hands.

“Nicky, just calm down!” Neil pleads.

“How can I stay calm? Andrew stabbed Smithy! So not only is my favorite freshman in the hospital Andrew’s going to end up back on those god forsaken meds again!” Nicky shouts and buries his face in his hands.

“Smith isn’t going to say that.” Andrew’s voice is calm but Nicky can hear the slight edge.

“Oh yeah?” Nicky asks because he could see FF promising to never mention who stabbed him if Andrew would just spare his life. FF was going to be even MORE of a disaster when it came to his anxiety around Andrew. Nicky wouldn’t be surprised if his friend just straight up dropped out after this. His cousin is safe but he’s absolutely going to lose his friend.

“Because he’s saying Romero Malcolm stabbed him.” Andrew finishes.

Nicky sits up.

“Wait, what?” Nicky asks.

“Last night Romero Malcolm was at Eden’s.” Neil says voice even in a way that lets Nicky know that he’s trying to stay calm, “Smith recognized him, heard he wanted to grab,” Neil swallows thickly, “…grab one of my friends and saw them looking at…” Neil trails off and looks to Andrew who shakes his head, “…around for someone to grab.” Neil seems to decide and Nicky knows when something is being hidden from him but he’s more interested in the story than what Neil is hiding at the moment, “He got Romero’s attention so that he wouldn’t do anything bad in Eden’s and let Roland know to call help. He went out alone into the alley but Romero didn’t follow him.” Neil explains.

“Oh thank god.” Nicky sighs.

“Because he’d alerted Jackson Plank was lying in wait to ambush him.” Neil continues.

“Oh dear god.” Nicky exclaims.

“He uh…” Neil looks to Andrew who shakes his head again, “okay we don’t know exactly HOW Smith managed to do it but he beat Jackson up pretty bad.” Neil explains.

Nicky feels his brain stop working.

He has watched FF trip over his own feet, walk into four different trees, and almost sprain his ankle walking across a flat surface. He knows FF has been watching self-defense videos and had even gotten some pointers from Matt but even Matt had told him his better bet was probably just to yell “WOW WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?!”, point behind the attacker, and run as fast as humanly possible away from a fight.

Neil is still talking.

Nicky boots back up quickly.

“…a gun. He tackled Romero into Andrew and Andrew’s knife ended up in Smith’s stomach on accident while they were wrestling for the gun. Smith is the one who said he’s going to tell everyone who asks that it was Romero. He even said it to me.” Neil says with an awkward laugh.

“And you believed him.” Andrew says and there’s warmth in his cousin’s eyes as he looks at Neil and teases him.

“And I believed him.” Neil confirms.

“Okay, so you swear to me that you did not INTENTIONALLY stab my BFF?” Nicky asks looking at Andrew seriously.

“BFF, seriously?” Kevin asks.

“Best Freshman Friend.” Nicky answers quickly, “Don’t worry Kevin, you lose out to Matt in all regards for my Best Senior Friend.” He says.

Kevin just flips him off but Nicky turns his attention back to Andrew, “Andrew, I need to hear it.” He says .

“I did not intentionally stab Smith.” Andrew confirms.

Nicky lets the horrified nausea leave him with only his hangover nausea.

“Okay, we can work with that.”  Nicky leans back. “Have you heard from that Agent?” he asks looking at Neil.

Neil nods but then looks nervous and shoots a look towards Kevin, “The FBI is sending Browning and a field office agent to talk with us but…Ichirou also contacted me.” He says and Nicky watches as Kevin perks up.

“He did?!” Kevin squawks looking around like he expected the head of the Moriyama family to appear from the shadows.

“He wants to make sure we do our part to keep the Moriyama name out of this. He is going to deal with Romero and Jackson himself.” Neil says looking nervous.

Nicky clenches his eyes shut, “Well you’re not going to mention them right?” he hears Kevin ask.

“Of course not Kevin.” Nicky hears Andrew hiss.

“Good.” Kevin says.

There’s silence in the wake of Neil’s statement.

Nicky takes a deep breath and wishes his head was a little less agonizing. “Why aren’t we at the hospital to see Smithy?” he asks because he has nothing he can do about Ichirou so he may as well put it out of his mind.

There is some grumbling.

“Wymack said that he’ll just make us sit in the waiting room without any updates.” Neil says. “We’re picking up Smith’s grandma from the airport and she’s our ticket to getting an actual update beyond ‘not dead yet’ from Wymack.” He adds.

“What, you really can’t get updates without Wymack?” Nicky asks.

Andrew looks at Nicky and Nicky can’t read a single thing his cousin is thinking.

“What’s Smith’s first name Nicky.” Andrew asks.

“Oh God fucking Dammit.” Nicky’s head hurts too bad for this.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

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The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[nulltune]

——  hakuno jumpscare !  

( staring ominously at ur muse. )

[suddencolds]

~

[herd-reject-arts]

I recently moved (away from my abusive ass mother! Huzzah!), and it's been really bittersweet because me and my dog lost our bestest bud in October. So, like, out of a bad situation, but I don't even get to enjoy it with the coolest dog ever. But the dog I still have (10, half-blind) has been super upset. Like, I'll be gone 2 minutes to check the mail and I can hear her anxiously screaming all the way from the boxes. And I don't have it in me to get another dog, because it feels like replacing the chilliest, sweetest beast that ever lived. So I'm like ok, what about a cat? Old doggo is great with kitties. Apartment doesn't care.

So I went and got this the other day

And my dog's anxiety has gone down so much, just by having another living thing around the house while I'm away.

Her name is Juniper. She's slowly becoming friends with my dog, Clio. I've had her a little less than a week, and she's been a great cat so far. Only thing I could possibly complain about is that she's so lovey that I keep having whatever I'm holding knocked out of my hands by a cat eager for attention.

But the most important thing is she's helping ease the anxiety of an elderly dog who only has her right eye, and that's super slay of her. I don't exactly like introducing new friends into a situation like what I have going on, but it's working out so well and I have the means to take care of her. She's adjusted amazingly, and I'm hoping I'll have many good years with her, and a bunch more with my old doggo.

[hecatesbroom]

Last day at work before the summer holidays (& my final day at work in this place specifically) and ohh. the mixed feelings :')

[kuromi-hoemie]

feeling v proud of myself for eyeing something and thinking “that seems like it's 70 inches” then it was 😌

[incesthemes]

so the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell.

and i want to postulate on this concept of the righteous man. both john and dean are considered by this prophecy to be "righteous men," and of course they are both candidates for michael's vessel. it's in their blood.

but at the same time, this is a destiny that must still be fulfilled. action is required to create a righteous man—aka, they have to be sent to hell in the first place. they have to become worthy of being michael's vessel through their participation in starting the apocalypse.

john dies in 201. he's at peace; he's accepted the terms of his deal, and he's accepted his fate. his soul and the colt for dean's life.

there are two conflicts presented across season 1:

the first is on the topic of revenge. ultimately, the conclusion is that revenge is pointless, it will lead to no positive outcome—the past has already happened, and once blood is spilled there's no getting out of it, no stopping. knowing what happened to her brother didn't make kathleen feel better about his death. max killing his family didn't make his pain go away.

the second is on the topic of family. it's a more subtle theme, i guess, suggesting that family will invite destruction to everyone around them. the tagline "the good of the many outweighs the good of the one" is proven to be erroneous and ruinous: by choosing the family, by choosing to protect loved ones, great harm will inevitably come to the outsiders. we see this foreshadowed in 111; we see this exemplified when dean shoots and kills an innocent man in 121.

so choosing revenge and choosing family are both bad choices. but the conflict of season 1 is revenge vs family—sam as the protagonist has to choose one or the other. he's not given a third option.

john, however, finds that third option. he abandons his quest for revenge by relinquishing the colt to azazel, and he abandons his family by sacrificing himself. the act of sacrifice is seen as a selfish one (see: crossroad blues), one committed by a man who cares more about his own feelings than that of the person he saved. this is the recurring narrative throughout seasons 2 and 3—it's not something that john did for his son, it's something he did for himself. and in fact, his act of sacrifice puts sam and dean in more danger by leaving them without a weapon to combat azazel and without any of john's knowledge about the demon or sam's fate.

he doesn't choose revenge. he apparently doesn't choose family. he found the third option: he removed himself from the story.

so he managed to choose both "correct" options: he avoided ruin by abandoning his revenge, and he avoided ruin by abandoning his family. and he went to hell.

he became a righteous man, set to break the first seal to the apocalypse.

dean ends up following these exact steps at the end of season 2—the difference is that doing so is dean's fate and not necessarily john's. the other difference is dean is not at peace with his decision to die. john went to hell but he had accepted it. he was ready and willing to go, and he took what was given to him. even in all hell breaks loose, he's happy and serene in death, in hell. it's his commitment to his actions that separate dean and john.

but dean, through sam's influence, second-guesses himself, and his own shame and hypocrisy stir within him doubt and uncertainty. he doesn't want to die; he doesn't want to go to hell. when he gets there, he screams out for sam, wanting to be saved.

dean breaks. john doesn't.

obviously dean going to hell and breaking the seal was part of his destiny—that much is obvious. but i think it's important that it's dean's actions and decisions that lead him down that path, that he's not a passive receptor for his fate. it doesn't happen to him; he chooses it. sam has to act and decide in order to fulfill his destiny, so dean should be beholden to that same thing. which is why i like this interpretation that it's this selfish sacrifice that creates a righteous man—by dean's own hands he creates his destiny and starts the apocalypse.

john was able to escape this because he's not faced with the same conflict dean is. he's able to find peace and take himself out of the story, choosing both "correct" options and being okay with those decisions. dean makes those same "correct" decisions as john (in dean's case, the conflict he is given is not revenge vs family but duty vs family, and he abandons his duty and his family all the same), but he lacks the conviction that john has. he can't remove himself from the story, he's filled with doubt and unresolved tension, he can't let go fully. there is no peace in dean's story, and the righteous man broke.

and as he breaks, so shall it break.

[vynnyal]

Unga bunga these take 3 hrs to make

[bi-disastersoup]

Shifters - Part 2

I realize it has been almost a whole year since I posted part 1. I did some experimenting to see if I could get it all into one post this time instead of having to do two separate posts. Hopefully the formatting goes through okay...

Also, this probably goes without saying, but this was all done pre-DT.

Part 1

God I hope that posted in the right order lol

Anyway, I'm trying to work on crossposting stuff again. Wish me luck.

(Part 3)

[basiltonpitch]

on losing a mother

[quaranmine]

i can't believe i spent two weeks in a country infamous for its rain and ill-tempered weather and it rained more back home in Texas than it did on me in Iceland

[slopdoughnut]

My bitchass cat- 80 ft up in a goddamn tree

It has been a day

[saminthea]

Is it appendicitis or just fibromyalgia and a stomach bug? Guess we'll see in the morning!