#it's been the same two arguments for literally seventeen years

[bloomvalyria]

as a sparxshipping shipper, what annoys you about the behavior of extremely aggressive haters?

(sorry for the late reply, things have been a bit crazy)

honestly, anon, there's so much that annoys me that we genuinely don't have the time to go into it all. but i've learned that i find myself getting less angry and less annoyed now that i use the lovely little block button that tumblr has blessed us with. at the end of the day, everyone has an opinion whether you like it or not. and if you know a particular opinion tends to get under your skin, or you know a specific hater that's really aggressive about it, the block button is your best friend. my life is so much better using it.

of course, if i had to narrow it down based off my experience with them, i'd probably say the arguments bother me. and not in the way you'd think! people can argue about it all day, but my complaint is that it's always the same two arguments.

i'm not going to touch on the age gap argument. i'm just not. not because i'm unable to defend it, but because i'm tired of defending it to people who don't want to listen anyway.

my absolute favorite one though is when they come off with: "wow you ship them when he murdered her whole family?? cringe". it's beautiful. mostly because it's stupid. but mostly because it's inaccurate. like what do you mean he murdered her whole family? oritel and miriam are alive. always have been. there's a whole movie about it. y'all should watch it. if they're trying to say he murdered daphne because she's the only one confirmed dead (we're gonna ignore s5 for obvious reasons), we have never gotten any confirmation about who killed daphne. baltor killing daphne is actually a non-canon event that i'm pretty sure sparxshippers came up with (which should concern the haters more, if anything!). based on what little footage we have of daphne during the battle, it's actually more likely she was killed by the ancestresses. however, we have never had true, canon confirmation on who killed daphne. hell, it might've been no one! she could've gone out cersei and jaime style! WE DON'T KNOW!

... this response has spiraled out of control and will probably get me in some discourse. i'm going back to writing before i get myself in even more trouble.

[astroyongie]

Hey girlie! Can you write an angst for Seventeen Jeonghan please?

Thanks ❤️

-> warnings: Jeonghan x reader, mentions of mingyu x reader, angst, slight violence, mentions of cheating, mentions of smut.

It was inevitable. 

You had been in a relationship with Mingyu for the past 2 years. 

Jeonghan had been in a relationship with that girlfriend of his, for the past 2 and a half. 

But nothing could have prepared you for the unhealthy obsession you created within each other. You and Mingyu suffered a lot in your relationship, mostly because you had a hard time controlling Mingyu and his behaviors that were often problematic and suspicious. You doubt of his honesty but not once had you confronted him about it. You loved him. On the other side, Jeonghan loved his partner equally. Hell, he wanted to marry her. But something in you made him want to throw it all away.

The first time you both slept with each other was during last year’s tour. Both of you had come for a drink, after a heated argument with your partners. One drink turned into two and eventually into six and when you noticed, you were allowing Jeonghan to fuck you from behind. 

You had come twice that night, you had allowed this man to drink you up like a cocktail in the desert. And it happened again. Without Mingyu knowing, you had allowed his friend to enter your life. Quite literally. He had been there through the fights, through your teary sides. Jeonghan had drawn soft patterns against your skin as you talked to him, and listened to your breathing as you laid on top of him. He had seen that vulnerable part of you, that even Mingyu didn't had the privilege to. 

The worst was that you loved it. And you hated yourself for it. 

And Jeonghan loved you for it.

As you cried out from the orgasm washing over you, as Jeonghan groaned into your ear. You closed your eyes, enjoying the bittersweet feeling of your high as you felt him slip out and slowly lying by your side. Today has been hell. Mingyu had gone on vacation with Minghao, somewhere to Bali, next to the beach. He hadn’t texted you nor called you for the past 24h and you were scared of the worst. 

Ironic, considering that you had just allowed his friend to nut inside of you, for the 7th time. 

“We need to stop seeing each other” you murmured softly, not able to look at Jeonghan.

“You say that every time”

“I am serious, Jeonghan. I think.. I think Mingyu is catching up” 

Jeonghan went quiet as you spoke. He felt his heart tight, perhaps because he had started to grow close to you, perhaps because he had started to love the lingering perfume on his skin, the soft moans of your voice, or the way your fingertips felt against his scalp. 

“That would hurt” he said back, breathing accelerated from the post-release high.

“It would.”

He went silent again, considering your words carefully. He knew you were right. But he couldn’t help but be selfish. 

"Why do we always have to hurt each other like this?" he asked, 

"Because we don't belong to one another" you simply said. Jeonghan felt his heart twist at those words, jealousy creeping in. He wasn’t your boyfriend, and it seemed like he would never be. A simple bandaid, the same you were to him. 

So why did letting you go hurt so much?

[glitterypin]

STORY TIME!

I had a friend. We weren't very close but we were friends, not just acquaintances. For a few years I lived in a different city and whenever she was in town, we'd get coffee. One time she actually stayed at my place. We'd known each other for nearly seventeen years and had been friends for about twelve of these. Last year she came to my birthday party, had tremendous fun, thanked me for inviting her (I was like 'why the fuck wouldn't I invite you').

So, last December, it was her birthday and she decided to throw a small celebration at a restaurant not far from the place where I worked, on a Sunday. And she invited me.

But, that was around the same time my Big Clusterfuck Of A Job started getting really stressful and I was doing overtime like crazy and working during the weekends and I was basically an animated corpse who only came alive when placed in front of the editing suite, so when the time came, I didn't actually want to go. I had worked until Saturday and Sunday was going to be my one day off and I wanted to sit at home in my pyjamas and sleep and do nothing. I didn't want to socialize with strangers (her other friends) and I didn't want to essentially ride the same fucking bus to work on my one day off.

So, I knew I didn't want to go at all but I was still trying to persuade myself to just suck it up and go because I didn't want her to be disappointed. However, as I got home from work on Saturday, I did send her a message telling her I'm dead on my feet and I may not make it the next day. I said I'd try but there was a chance I wouldn't make it.

Long story short, she flew off the handle, started very aggressively insisting that if I truly wanted to go then I would make it, so if I didn't make it it's because I don't care about her and the rest is just excuses and she refused to take note of my feelings on the matter at all. My main argument was "I am dead tired, my job is kicking me in the balls and I need to fucking rest for one day because that's all I have" and her argument is "it's only once a year, I don't know what else to tell you".

And then she blocked me.

It was so fucking important to her that I attend her birthday that when I said I wasn't sure if I'd make it, she BLOCKED ME. Apparently, not going to her birthday dinner is the same level of harm to our friendship as BLOCKING ME. Mind you, we don't even have each other's phone number because we always made plans through messenger, so she blocked what was literally out only way of communication.

I was livid for a while but also somewhat relieved because if you're going to be one toxic, messy, tantruming child of a trainwreck, then, yes, please go be that somewhere far away from my life. So irrational and immature was her behaviour that I couldn't really find it in me to miss her afterwards and I was mostly angry that I ever fucking bothered with this person.

And then I moved on. This was eight months ago.

Half an hour ago, at 2 in the fucking morning, I got a text from her. She has unblocked me and she sent me a message that basically boils down to "hey, it wasn't a big deal, I just felt that you weren't up to hanging out with me, I hope you're doing well", smiley face.

EIGHT FUCKING MONTHS LATER

AT TWO IN THE MORNING

SHE TEXTS

AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZE?

instead she says that she felt I wasn't up to it? that it was somehow down to ME that she blocked me? because I didn't go to her fucking birthday dinner? (mind you, I haven't mentioned this so far but it's important to note that this woman is in her FORTIES. she's not twelve or anything.)

When God rained intelligence on the world, was she holding a fucking umbrella??

So, the big dilemma for this week is "should I deign to answer" and so far I think "better not" because I have a feeling my answer is going to be along the lines of "go fuck yourself, you self-centered twat" and that's not a nice thing to say at all...

[starlightxsvt]

Because I Love You I c.sc

pairing ➳ best friend!seungcheol x female! reader

genre ➳ best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, a good dose of angst, lots of pinning, fluff to heal your heart, a lil spice.

warnings ➳ cursing, jealousy(lots of it), Mingyu being a big dumdum, Halloween party( yes ik very well halloween is over), reader wears a slutty witch outfit, emotional constipation ig, they are both idiots, arguments, crying, heavy makeouts, them both horny.

word count ➳ 9.3k

synopsis ➳ harboring feelings for your best friend of years have never been this hard. now, when he shows up with a beautiful girl in his arms you aren't sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

playlist ➳ because I love you- gummy// lie- sasha sloan// in silence- janet suhh// teenage dream- katy perry// lean on me- seventeen// you belong with me- taylor swift.

a/n: hi hi everyone! It is here! A good dose of pinning and angst and jealousy is finally here! I had a fun time writing it and I hope y'all feel the same while reading this. Let me know your thoughts please 🥰

When you first saw Seungcheol, he was a floofy haired boy wearing this cute jumper and baggy pants. His cheeks were squishy and his smile was gummy which instantly warmed your heart and made you want to be friends with him. Which you did.

It was middle school then.

Now you are in college.

Seungcheol still has his squishy cheeks and his gummy smile but now they sit on a tall, well-built and dashingly handsome man. But he hasn't changed. He's still the same boy at heart, who welcomed you into his circle with open arms all those years ago.

If anything has changed though, it's your feelings for him. You two started as friends and soon became best friends, literally inseparable from each other all through middle school and then high school.

Now at 21 years and in college, you have realized how exactly deep your feelings run for your best friend. The wake-up call was when he showed up with Evelyn; a sweet, petite brunette at a get-together with all your friends.

That was the first time Seungcheol showed up with a girl anywhere and you realized it's serious as Seungcheol is more of a one-night stand and no relationship type of guy. He was smiling ear to ear, his usual cheerfulness more prominent and you discerned he must really like her.

Now two months later, they are still going strong and seeing them together everyday has given birth to a little green monster inside you. And you hate yourself for it. Seungcheol is your best friend for fuck's sake, you should be happy that he is happy. But you are not. At this rate, you wonder how long you can continue your friendship with him before you lose your damn mind.

"Hey, you alright?" Seungcheol's voice makes you jump out of your reverie.

"Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Really?" Seungcheol narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. You shift under his continuous stare because you know how well he can read you. "If something is bothering you, you can always tell me, you know?" He adds softly. "Of course I know Cheol. I promise I'm fine." You try your best to act unbothered.

He nods understandingly before a ping comes from his phone, alerting him of a text which he checks immediately. "I gotta go, _____. Let's hang out sometime, yeah? Just you and me."

"Hmm, yeah, sure." You give him a thumbs up as he jogs away. As soon as he's gone you let out a breath of relief, sagging back into the bench. However, your time to yourself is shortlived.

"_____!" A loud voice calls your name and you turn to see Mingyu running towards you, hand waving wildly in the air.

"If you are here for my notes then get lost Mingyu," you say dismissively before he can even come close. The giant man whines before sitting down next to you, his lips shaped into a pout. "Come on babe~ don't be like that. I just came to say hi."

"Mhmm," you hum, not buying his words.

"When are you gonna tell him that you like him?" He nudges your shoulder with a smirk on his face as you whip your head towards him. "What! I don't have a crush on Seungcheol!"

"I didn't say who," The bastard's smirk grows bigger as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You feel your whole face heat up.

Oh god.

Laughing at your flustered state Mingyu sighs, "I knew for years. You probably had a crush on him when you first joined our group. You keep looking at him with these lovey-dovey eyes."

"Shut up, Gyu!" You smack his arm. "If you tell Cheol a word about this I swear-"

"I swear my lips are shut," He holds up his hands in surrender. "But...you know, I could help you get him." He comes closer to you. You roll your eyes with a defeated sigh, "What are you trying to do, Mingyu?"

"Nothing!" He gasps, offended. But then he coughs, scratching the back of his head, "Well, there's this red-haired babe in your psychology class and I was wondering if you could set me up with her." You watch him, baffled. "Idiot, you don't even know her name! Besides, what am I? A matchmaking service?" You roll your eyes at his antics to get inside yet another girl's pants. Mingyu has quite the reputation around the campus for jumping from one girl's bed to another's.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that," Mingyu keeps whining like a child. "I help you, you help me. Or more like I help you get the man you've been in love with and you just hook me up with this girl."

"What is your grand plan to get me the man I've been in love with, may I ask?" You raise a brow at him. His face inches closer to yours and a conspirational grin appears on his face, "You see, there's this huge ass fancy Halloween party at Joshua's place this Friday. And you, my babe, are gonna show up in the sexiest outfit in town- hold up, it gets better! I am gonna act all handsy with you, ya know what I mean?" He wiggles his brow and you let out an annoyed groan, pushing his face away, "Yeah, that is like the worst plan in the history of plans, you dumbass. You really think you can make him jealous? He's in a fucking relationship, a very committed one at that!"

"Eh, I wouldn't be so sure," Mingyu shrugs, tilting his head. Your brows crease eyes narrowing on him, "What do you mean?" Blatantly ignoring you, the man continues, "Listen, you show up with me and then we get all touchy with each other in front of Seungcheol. When he sees me all over you, he should step in and if he does, bingo! That means he has feelings for you." You watch Mingyu with a bored face as he rambles on, wondering how stupid someone can be. It's truly a mystery why all girls go gaga over him.

However, later that night, when you lie down in your bed, Mingyu's words haunt you, and the more you keep thinking of it, the more convinced you feel.

How bad could it be? It doesn't hurt to try. It's harmless, right?

So somehow, you end up agreeing to Mingyu's offer, and the next day you both go out for outfit shopping where the giant man almost forces you into buying the skimpiest clothing ever, a slutty witch outfit. It's a black velvet top with the lowest neckline you've ever seen paired with a scrap of material they call a skirt. It also comes with mesh stockings and gloves and killer heels which are so long that you know your feet will be numb later on. When Friday comes and you stand in front of the mirror with the outfit on, you keep staring at your reflection with your jaw loose.

Why are you doing this again?

Sexy is probably the decent word to describe how you look. While doing your makeup you contemplate your decision and you almost chicken out, until Mingyu calls you to let you know he's outside your apartment. Asking the heavens for help, you walk out the door and when you meet him outside his jaw almost touches the floor as he whistles, "Holy shit, remind me why we're not dating?" You roll your eyes, "Shut up, Gyu."

Grinning evilly he laughs, "Just kidding babe. But you look fabulous. Real fabulous." Chuckling softly you move towards him complimenting, "You look fabulous as well." He's dressed in a vampire outfit, nothing too special, a white shirt and black cape and fangs, but he has the looks to make it special. "Shall we?" He extends his arm towards you and you grin, slipping yours in it.

When you arrive at the party it is going on in full swing, loud, full of not so sober students dressed in various outfits and it takes you a while to spot your friend group amidst the plenteous crowd. They are all relaxing in the backyard, drinks in their hands, laughing loudly over something. Your eyes land on him first, dressed in what you assume is a devil's costume, shiny black shirt paired with blazer and pants as the horns attached to a band are sitting in his hand.

"You guys are here!" Someone chirps but you don't pay attention, too busy looking at Seungcheol as he turns his head and stops his eyes on you before they dilate, probably in shock. Blatantly, he eyes you from top to bottom as you stand there shaking in your boots, realizing this was all a stupid idea.

"_____..." Seungcheol begins but gives up, professedly at a loss for words as he keeps on staring at you, making you feel only more flustered under his gaze. "_____! Wow, you look seriously hot!" Joshua says, appearing from somewhere with drinks in his hands. Evelyn, who is dressed in the prettiest angel costume ever, grins, agreeing with Joshua, "Seriously, you look bomb! That outfit? You're killing it."

"Thanks," you go demure with all the compliments and Mingyu decides it is the perfect time to get handsy with you as he throws a hand over your shoulder, pulling you close while almost smashing you into his huge chest and grinning, "Thanks, guys! I picked it for her!" You don't miss the way Seungcheol's brows furrow at Mingyu's reply and a faint hope blooms in your chest. Maybe, maybe he's jealous.

Seungcheol stands up, eyes on you as he saunters towards you. "_____, wow, you look...wow." You can't help the giggle that escapes you before you thank him for his compliment. Probably seeing Seungcheol talking to you, Mingyu wraps himself tighter around you, if that's even possible. You try to nudge him discreetly but he just keeps grinning like a fool before announcing, "I'll get some drinks for us. Wait here, babe."

Too busy glaring at Mingyu, you miss the way Seungcheol scowls at the interaction in front of him and as soon as Mingyu skips over towards the drinks, your best friend speaks, "Hey, can you spare me a second? Let's talk inside, it's too loud here."

"S-sure." Abruptly, he turns around and leans towards Evelyn to whisper something in her ear, and in reply, she nods, beaming at him. You follow Seungcheol inside Joshua's house, shuffling through the overflowing crowd all over and he leads you up the stairs and towards Joshua's bedroom, where you finally find some quiet.

"So...what's up?" You immediately plop down on Joshua's bed, thanks to the ridiculous heels which are nothing short of killing you. As if hesitantly, Seungcheol sits beside you, scratching the back of his head. "Did Mingyu really pick this for you?" He asks, motioning towards your outfit, and you nod, confused. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"No! No...I just- I've never seen you in something like this..." He murmurs and you see faint redness appear in his ears. You shrug, trying your best to appear unfazed, "Well, there's a first time for everything." Seungcheol simply nods and silence follow, making you chew on your lip anxiously. What's going with him? In your years of friendship, there has never been a time when things were this quiet and...awkward between the two of you. Awkward, right.

The air in the room feels extremely awkward, full of thick tension and you wonder why he is so silent when he called you here. You're about to open your mouth until he does. "Are you and Mingyu...a thing?"

"What?"

"Are you... like- dating Mingyu?"

"Why do you ask?" You question abruptly. Seungcheol looks taken aback for a while. "I'm...I'm your best friend. I am curious. I mean we recently had that talk about you dating and stuff and you appeared rather disinterested so I...I wasn't expecting to see you with someone...especially Mingyu. "

"What's wrong with Mingyu?"

He rolls his eyes, letting out a noise of annoyance, "Come on. You know how he is."

It is true that last week you and Seungcheol had a conversation about your rather plain dating life and him encouraging you to see someone to which you replied you'll think about it. So now, when you are seemingly dating, why is he so sour about it?

"I don't know what you are talking about, Cheol. Mingyu's pretty decent." You feign ignorance, adverting your gaze. Seungcheol rakes a hand through his hair, "You didn't exactly answer my question, _____. Are you dating him or not?" His voice sounds snappy suddenly and a frown comes over your face. You can't help the venom in your voice, "What is it to you, Seungcheol? Why are you so bothered? I can date him or just fuck him or whatever, what is it to you? Who are you, my dad?"

Shock colors your best friend's face and immediately you feel guilty. You don't know what made you spew those words and you instantly regret when you see him frown, hurt painted all over his face. "_____," he calls your name but then abruptly stops and you bite your lip.

Shit. How could you say those things to him?

You open your mouth, ready to apologize a hundred times when he stands up with a loud sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get nosy. I should go downstairs. They're waiting for me." His tone is flat, dejected and it breaks your heart into a million pieces. Tears burn your eyes but you're so choked up that you can't utter a word so you watch him leave.

-

"I fucked up bad, Gyu," you murmur in a hopeless tone. Mingyu, who doesn't seem all too bothered hums while digging into your leftover lunch. "I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix." He offers and you sigh, rubbing your forehead. "It's all your fault. If only I didn't listen to your stupid idea."

"Hey now! That's mean!" The puppy-like man pouts making you roll your eyes heavenward. "It was a fantastic idea," he continues. "If only you kept playing cool and didn't lose your temper." His words make you sigh louder and you feel like a deflated balloon as you sag against your chair. "Oh god, what do I do now. I was such a bitch. I'm embarrassed to even show up in front of him." You wail. Mingyu is about to console you when Seokmin appears, suddenly sitting down at your table.

"Hey, guys! What's up?" He grins, his usual cheery self. Mingyu sets his spoon down, "Oh, _____ is just sad that the love of-" You kick the stupid man underneath the table and send daggers his way, trying to get him to stop. Seokmin looks between the two of you, confused, before he rests his hands on the table and leans towards you. "Hey, _____. What's going on with you and Seungcheol? Is there any problem?"

"Huh? N-no, why?" You can't mask the tension and alarm in your voice. "No...it's just that yesterday we were talking and I brought you up and he seemed weirdly stiff. You also left the party all of a sudden that day. Is everything alright?"

"Uhm..yeah, yeah. We're good." You swallow. We are so not good. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Mingyu raising a brow at your obvious lies, sporting a smirk and you clench your fists. This sly bastard. You send him a threatening glare that says I'll deal with you later but his expression says that he couldn't care less.

That day after your classes you accumulate all your courage and send Seungcheol a text, asking him where he is and if he's free. A few minutes later, comes his reply in which he tells you that he's in the studio so you immediately flag down a cab to get there promptly.

When he isn't attending classes, Seungcheol spends most of his time in this studio downtown where he works on making music and choreo with two other guys named Woozi and Hoshi. In the early times, when he first joined the studio he was really shy and didn't tell you about it for almost two months. But you eventually found out and you and others in your friend group realized that he's got a knack for writing songs and rapping. It's been a couple of years since he joined the studio and he made a few good bucks by writing and composing some songs. When you asked him if he wants to make a career out of this and in reply, he told you he's still thinking about it.

The cab stops and you jolt out of your thoughts, quickly paying the driver and entering the building in hurried steps. You head straight for the practice room where you find Seungcheol sitting alone, busy with his- surprisingly because you expected others to be there too. Closing the door behind you, you tentatively step inside. "Hey."

He looks up from his phone, "Oh, hey." He sets the device down as you pad towards him looking around. "I thought others would be here."

"Yeah, I came early. They'll be here in a while," Seungcheol replies, stretching his legs. Nodding, you stand uselessly in front of him, hands busy fiddling with the hem of your tote bag. He watches you with blank eyes which magnifies your shame a hundred times. It was never like this between you and him. It was never supposed to be like this. With a deep breath, you take an attempt to get yourself together before gently sitting down next to him on the floor. Staring down at your lap, you speak. "I'm sorry."

Silence.

Unnerving silence is all you get and you are too ashamed, almost paralyzed to sneak a peek at him. Long, agonizing moments pass before you hear him sigh. "No, it's okay. It was my fault." Your head spins towards him, "No! No, it wasn't! It really wasn't. I was a total bitch. You were just asking your best friend if she is dating someone and she was a snarky rude bitch to you." Despite the situation, he chuckles softly before setting his eyes on you, gaze fond. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay. I'm your best friend. I forgive you."

Wow. That went easier than you thought. His easy forgiveness makes you somewhat more embarrassed. You whisper, "Thank you. And I'm really sorry, once again. I...I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay. I was rude too. If you genuinely like Mingyu, you should date him," he advises, his voice soft like silk. You chew your lower lip anxiously, "Yeah, about that... I'm not dating Mingyu." Seungcheol gapes at you in silence before raising a brow at you, "What?"

"Yeah... We're not dating. In fact, he has his eyes on someone else." Seungcheol sits in silence for a while, making you feel nervous for no reason. After a few bits, he murmurs, "Oh. Then why was Mingyu like that with you?" He frowns. A nervous chuckle escapes you as you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "I don't know either. You know how he can get too friendly at times. I didn't mind him, really."

Humming, Seungcheol nods before leaning back against the mirror on the wall. You do the same and like that, the two of you enjoy some tranquility and this time the air is much more comfortable, like old times. He hums a tune sitting comfortably next to you as you play with your bag on your lap, thanking the heavens for letting you overcome his hurdle with ease. The quietude comes to a halt when Seungcheol opens his mouth, his voice subdued as he utters the words, "Evelyn and I broke up."

You almost choke on your saliva because never in a million years did you expect him to casually announce his breakup. You turn your head to take a look at him and oddly find him smiling a little. He doesn't appear bothered or hurt and that troubles you further. "I- what? Why?" You whisper. "It just wasn't gonna work out, you know. We both agreed to that so we just split up." You don't have words to that so you nod your head dumbly, murmuring, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," Seungcheol waves his hand in the air. "It's alright. It's nothing to be sorry about. We separated on good terms. She was saying that she actually likes someone else and I totally understand, you know?" You don't but you just nod your head, still processing the news. After a few more moments of stillness, you attempt to joke, "Well, welcome back to the singles club, I guess." Seungcheol laughs, playfully smacking your shoulder as you join him, your face splitting into a grin. Your heart feels lighter and your mind a lot less burdensome and you wonder if it's because you made up with Seungcheol or because of his breakup.

-

The next day, on your way to class you come across Evelyn who stands by the economics building, looking around for someone you assume. At first, you think about not saying hi but deciding it'll be rude, you approach her with a slight wave. "Hey, there." Her eyes land on you and she grins, as sweet as ever, "Hey! _____!" Her hands move enthusiastically. "How are you!" You come to stand in front of her, "I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm great too," she smiles. Tentatively, you offer, "I'm sorry about the... breakup, you know. Seungcheol told me."

"Oh," she makes a face, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "It's alright. We broke up on good terms, you know? It's all fine. I also might like someone else." She grins conspirally. "By the way, have you seen Seokmin?"

"Huh? Seokmin? No, why?"

"Oh, he was supposed to go to the library with me but I can't seem to find him. He isn't picking up either."

"I have no idea where he is. Sorry." You offer "No, it's alright. He's probably sleeping. You'll get late for your class now. Bye!" She points to her watch, reminding you of the time. "Yeah, right! See you," you return her enthusiastic wave before walking into the lecture building still processing how casual their breakup really was.

-

Later that week when you and the whole group sit down for dinner at a restaurant, Jeonghan suddenly makes an offer, "Hey guys. The vacation starts tomorrow. Why don't we all go somewhere together this time." Chewing on his food, Mingyu agrees excitedly, "That's a great idea dude! We really need a break."

"My father's friend has this nice resort by the beach. I'm thinking we could go there. What do you say, babe?" Jeonghan asks, turning to his girlfriend, Iris who nods her head with a grin, linking her hands with Jeonghan's. Ever since they started dating a year ago, she has become a part of this group, and boy, do they not hesitate to get affectionate with each other in public. On cue, Jeonghan returns her grin, more mischievous as he leans over to press a kiss on the corner of her lips. Seokmin makes a noise of disgust, "Can we have one dinner without you two smooching each other?"

"Someone's jealous," Jeonghan teases, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while all of you chuckle. "But seriously, it's a good idea. We should go." You speak, taking a sip of water. Seungcheol hums his agreement from beside you and like that, everyone is on board with the idea. So a couple of days later you all get on Seokmin's dad's minivan as Seungcheol drives you all to the beach. It's not a long ride by distance but it definitely felt lengthy when Jeonghan and Iris started aggressively making out in the back of the van, which was positively intended to annoy all of you. Seungcheol turns the radio louder to cover their obscene noises and Seokmin covers his ears whining while Mingyu, being a sly, unashamed bitch, sneaks glances at them and you try your best to focus on the music playing and the view passing by. When it's dusk, you arrive at the beach and check-in immediately, starting your seven day vacation. Everyone gets separate rooms except the gross couple but you aren't so happy about it because your room is right beside theirs and you know they'll keep you up at night because you are pretty sure the walls here aren't soundproof.

The next morning you wake up fairly late due to the exhaustion of the journey and your general laziness. Stepping out of your room after quickly making yourself presentable, you head downstairs to catch the complimentary breakfast buffet. By the time you finish eating there is no sign of others so you call Seungcheol to know about their whereabouts and he informs you that they are at the beach. And by them, he meant just him and Seokmin because when you arrive at the relaxing area under a huge umbrella you find only two of them there. And Seokmin seems to be napping away under the sun, a straw hat resting on top of his face to sleep without hindrance.

"Hey there. You're finally up," Seungcheol smiles, yomping through the sand. He is dressed in a pale blue oversized shirt and white shorts but what gets heat steaming from your ears is how he left the top two buttons of his shirt undone, which gives a delicious peek of his silky skin beneath. Also, the sunglasses resting on top of his head doesn't really help with your mental health. Swallowing you quickly look away. "Yeah, I slept like a baby," with a sheepish smile you walk closer to him. "Where are the others?"

"Oh, Mingyu and the gross couple went to town for sightseeing and shopping. Min and I stayed," Seungcheol explains, kicking the sand underneath his feet. Nodding you gaze around, relishing the beautiful scenery and the perfect weather; the sun high up but not too hot, just perfect. As it is off-season the number of visitors is very low hence there are like three people besides you all on the beach.

"You look nice," Seungcheol juts his chin towards your dress; a simple pale yellow mid length dress with spaghetti straps. His compliment makes your heart flutter and your face burn. "Thanks," you reply as coolly as possible. The two of you sit down on the folding chairs and enjoy the waves crash and the blue of the ocean. As a thought occurs to you, you speak, "The other day I met Evelyn." Turning his head towards you Seungcheol takes off his shades. "Oh?"

"Yeah...she was really chill you know- not that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying. She also mentioned she likes someone else. Do you have any idea who it might be?" You turn to face him. "I'm so curious." Seungcheol chuckles softly at your desperateness, "Trust me I am too. When I asked her who it is she just smiled and said I'll see." You groan, "Ughhh, who could it be! I'm really curious who she left you for."

"Ouch," he feigns hurt, making you laugh. "I guess we can only wait and see. I wish the best for her. She's a great person." Nodding you nudge Seungcheol. "You're not so bad yourself," you tease.

The day passes by as you all play in the water when the others return and then eat some hearty lunch from a small restaurant nearby. After that you all lounge on the beach as the sky turned dark, sipping drinks and watching Seokmin and Mingyu be their stupid selves.

The next day is full of more sightseeing and sunbathing and taking pictures. After a really fun day, Mingyu sets up a barbecue at the beach as all of you assist him. With lots of side dishes and beer, all of you eat by the bonfire which Seungcheol and Seokmin worked hard on setting up. As you and Iris clean up the one-time plastic plates Jeonghan proposes to play a game. After a debate between him and Mingyu, it is decided to play truth or dare which Seungcheol claims is just childish. "You're just scared," teases Jeonghan with a suggestive wriggle of brows. The game begins with Seokmin who chooses truth and is asked by Jeonghan when did he lose his v card. The game progresses like that, full of silly truths and dares and Jeonghan's relentless teasing. At your first turn, you choose dare and end up doing or trying to do belly dance.

"Is there anyone among us that you have feelings for?" Jeonghan drawls, taking a sip of his beer, catching you off guard on your second turn. The look that he shares with Mingyu makes you realize that the bastard did not keep your secret.

He fucking told Jeonghan! That prick.

"Um..." Swallowing, you look around nervously, chewing on your lip. Half of you just want to lie and say no but you know for a fact that Mingyu and Jeonghan won't let you off so easily knowing your little secret. You take a peek at your best friend sitting next to you, his face concentrated on yours, and blowing out a loud breath you huff, "Yes." Seokmin makes a scandalous gasp as you feel Seungcheol shift next to you. The two evils snicker among themselves as you glare at them.

You're gonna kill Mingyu.

"Who is it?" Jeonghan smirks. You grit your teeth, "That was not the question, asshole. You asked if I was interested in someone and I replied. Done." Jeonghan, not one to give up says, "Okay then. Give me another truth. Who, among us, do you have feelings for?"

Oh god. You were gonna commit homicide.

"It's not my turn, Jeonghan." You hiss at him, sending daggers his way. Completely baffling you, Seungcheol speaks up, "No, _____. Answer it. Who is it?" Shocked you gape at your best friend.

Why is he doing this to you?

For a second you hope he's joking but the utter seriousness in his face tells you he's not. There are a few moments of stunned silence where you and Seungcheol stare at each other while four pairs of eyes burn into the two of you. Blinking, you murmur, "I'm out." Standing up quickly, you wipe the dust off your ass before marching back to the resort. You think they'll leave you alone but they don't- Seungcheol follows you with a call of your name. Annoyed, you turn around to face him, "What?"

"Is it Mingyu?" He asks, coming to a halt right in front of you. You can't help the tears that form in your eyes.

Is he really doing this? Again?

"Really, Seungcheol?" You whisper disappointedly. "No...just. Why don't you say it out loud?" He rakes a hand through his hair, frustratedly it appears as he huffs. "I mean, we're all friends here. You can just say that you like Mingyu. Why are you hiding?" Clenching your fists, you will yourself not to cry. "Well, you being like this makes me think maybe we aren't friends." Your voice is a breath above a whisper. You don't wait for his reply as you turn around and resume your walking, only faster this time, desperate to get away from everything, from him.

Maybe you shouldn't have come on this trip.

A night full of crying later you wake up to your phone ringing. There are a few texts from Mingyu and Jeonghan asking if you are in your room and are you okay and you realize it's almost noon. Sighing you quickly type out a reply to Mingyu before heading towards the bathroom, trying to wipe the tear stains on your face and your puffy nose. Just as you finish freshening up, there's a knock on your door and opening it, you come to face Seungcheol.

Immediately your throat tightens and you're about to close the door until he speaks, "Can I come in? Just for a minute?" His voice is soft as if he's addressing a child and swallowing the lump on your throat you step aside and let him in. He cautiously sits down on the small sofa by the bed while you gulp down an entire glass of water, trying to get your parched throat working. Wordlessly you sit down on the bed and look at him, awaiting him to speak, too tired to open your mouth.

If you're being honest you are too tired after last night to deal with him right now but since he's already here it's better to get it done with. "I'm sorry," he whispers. Expression bleak, you watch him. The silence is unnerving. Seungcheol stammers, "I- I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just- I'm really fucking sorry, ______. I crossed the line." Rubbing your forehead with a sigh you look down at your lap. Yeah, he did.

But part of you wonders, why? Why did he suddenly become so desperate, so... jealous? Perhaps...?

"Listen, I'm sorry for being an asshole. I just...I couldn't control my curiosity. I really wanted to know who you have feelings for. You're my best friend. I... wanted to support you."

Yeah...best friend.

With a soft exhale, you smile at him as your heart breaks with a slap of reality, "It's alright. I understand. Let's forget it." Seungcheol stares at you for a beat, a perplexed look on his face as if he can't believe you just forgave him. How can you not? You're so fucking in love with him.

"I- that's... great. Thank you." He stumbles over his words. "And sorry for barging in. You just woke up, you should eat." He gets up swiftly, murmuring an awkward goodbye to you, and heads out the door. Blowing out a frustrated breath you lie down on your bed, the tornado of emotions inside you becoming a bit too hard to manage.

You spend the rest of the day by yourself, locked up in your room, saying that you don't feel really good, which was true and opt to watch Netflix. Mingyu and others pay you short visits throughout the day, making sure you're okay but not pressuring you to come outside after last night.

The next morning arrives, all bright and shiny, sky clear, birds chirping; too much of a nice weather to stay cooped up in your room. So after having breakfast in your room, you head out in search of your friends who you find are all sitting in the lounging area by the resort pool.

"_______! Hey! We were just about to call you!" Seokmin waves his hand excitedly as he sees you approaching them. "Seungcheol is going-" He is cut off by Seungcheol who stands up swiftly and smacks his shoulder. "Hey, ______. Can we talk... for a second?" His nervous tone and everyone's weird attitude bewilders you, nonetheless you follow Seungcheol as he leads you to the indoor lounge.

"Hey, so umm," Seungcheol fiddles with his fingers, weirdly nervous which makes you nervous. "Seungcheol what's wrong?" You cannot mask the worry in your voice. Seeing you distressed, Seungcheol quickly says, "No- don't worry. I just um- I just wanted you to hear it from me.''

"Hear what?"

Seungcheol inhales deeply, "I'm proposing today. I...like someone. I've honestly liked someone for a long time." His confession makes your world stop, quite literally. It feels like you are free-falling, falling and falling and falling with no ground to catch you. Simply, breathlessly, you stare at him while he does the same, probably waiting for your reaction. Your brain completely stops working. For a while you draw blank, feeling nothing until your brain suddenly reboots and you blink a few times. Coughing you try to mask how crestfallen you feel and appear not at all heartbroken. "That's- um...wow. That was quite unexpected. I'm not even sure if I heard correctly."

Seungcheol gives you his signature gummy smile with a tinge of shyness. "Well, I've kept it hidden for a long time and...I just can't anymore, you know?" Giving him your best enthusiastic smile, you ask tentatively, "I'm really happy for you. Who's the lucky girl?" Shyly he scratches the back of his head, "Someone you know actually." Your brows shoot up, "In our friend group? Who?" He throws a teasing smile at you while you mentally go through all the females you and Seungcheol are aquatinted with.

Who could it be?!

"You'll know when I confess," is all he says and you don't prod him further because you don't really want to know who it is. You want to live in your fantasy for just a little longer, before everything crashes and burns. You manage a grin, "Well, congratulations, dude! I'm so excited and happy!"

It's true, you are. You are happy that your best friend has found someone to love while at the same time you are breaking into a million pieces on the inside because it is not you. You probably never had a chance, you stupid girl.

"Wait so, she is coming here? You are proposing today? What if she refuses?" You throw a series of questions at him, wondering since when was he planning to announce his love. Is this why everyone arranged this trip? How did you not know anything?

Seungcheol scratches the back of his head, "Yeah...um, I'm proposing tonight on the beach. Thought it would be romantic with the pretty scenery and stuff. So yeah, she's coming then. And if she doesn't accept me...well, then I don't know what I'm gonna do honestly." Nodding, you swallow the lump in your throat. "Wow, you've been planning quite a lot huh?" He laughs, his beautiful gummy smile on display as your heart shatters at his innocent giddiness.

Damn it, ____. Get it together.

Your best friend has found his love. He must know her well enough to call her here and propose. Surely, she will say yes. Oh god. Seungcheol won't be yours anymore. Fuck, he was never yours.

"You gotta be there okay? Others will be there too. Mingyu is gonna be our photographer. I'm planning on having dinner will you all after I propose."

Oh god, could this get any worse? He will propose and he wants you to be there, witness it firsthand? How cruel. Mustering your biggest grin, you say, "Of course I'll be there. How can I not?"

-

You regret saying that. You deeply, deeply regret that. You cannot be there without starting to bawl in the middle of his proposal. Shit. How could you become like this? When did you become so pathetic? Head in your hands you sit on the floor, back at your room after Seungcheol dropped the bomb. You feel like you're hyperventilating, losing your grip on reality. Half of you want to scream and cry and run away from here and the other half just wants to go to Seungcheol and tell him. Alas, you can do none.

Evening arrives too fast for your liking and as you begrudgingly put yourself in some decent clothes you contemplate on saying that your period started and you're having cramps. No, that would be the most asshole-ish thing to do. Seungcheol would definitely be sad. Swallowing you gaze into the mirror, making sure you do not appear like you are on the brink of losing your shit. Smoothening your hair and dress, you take a lungful of air before stepping out of your room and towards Seungcheol's. He opens the door as soon as you knock, dressed in a black shirt and washed jeans with a camo print jacket and he looks fucking insane. His hair; oh god his hair- is styled back with gel, a few strands falling loose, revealing his forehead and you go nuts. In a trance, you stand there like a lovestruck fool, too busy drinking him up. God his girlfriend is gonna be so lucky.

He motions you to come in with a smile, "Hey, I'm almost finished. I just need to put my shoes on, okay?"

"Mhmm," absentmindedly you hum. "Is she here?"

"Uhh, yeah. She's nearby. Will be here soon." There's that giddy, shy smile on his face as he talks about her. Your whole body burns with jealousy and it frustrates you further. You have no right to be jealous when you have been running from your feelings for years like a pussy. "Great," you manage a fake smile, watching him as he puts his socks and shoes on. When he's finally ready he grabs his phone, checking it quickly before turning towards you, the biggest smile plastered on his face, "Let's go." You literally see the excitement and tension radiating from his body and it makes you more solicitous. Your sanity is hanging by a thread now, as it all starts to feel extremely real.

It is happening.

Before you can stop yourself, you call for him, "Seungcheol?" He has almost reached the door at this point. "Yeah?" He takes a few steps back to meet your gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you." You breathe. Wait, what are you doing? Nodding, he takes a few steps towards you, "Sure. Go ahead."

Breathe. Just breathe.

You will yourself to just inhale and exhale while trying to not crumble down in front of him when saying the words that have been on your tongue for years. This is might not be the best time; in fact, it isn't, but you need to get this off of your chest or else you might actually die. So putting your big girl shoes on, you do the worst thing one can do to their best friend just before they are about to confess to someone- you confess to them instead.

"I love you." Your voice doesn't waver, surprisingly. It's loud and clear, no hesitation, full of candor.

"I love you. Not just in a best friend typa way. I love you as in you're the love of my life, Cheol. I've loved you for years. I'm fucking crazy about you. You're all I think about. I- I really had to get this off my chest, you know? I love you so much that if I didn't say it out loud I thought I was gonna burst." By miracle you keep going while Seungcheol watches you; first with a frown and then his face covering with shock as his eyes widen like saucers, his mouth hanging open a little. He gapes at you, like a fish, all wide eyes and unbearable silence.

And you just stand there, waiting to embrace whatever comes next to you. Still, when he utters one single word you realize you are not prepared at all for what he's about to throw at you.

"Fuck." He whispers under his breath.

Fuck it is.

Fuck, it truly is.

Everything is fucked.

It feels like a staring competition, you and Seungcheol just watching each other. You stay rooted to your spot despite just wanting to run to the farthest corner of the world. The realization has started to dawn on you- your untimely confession and Seungcheol response. Shit. Shit. How could you do this to your best friend?

"_____-" Seungcheol opens his mouth to speak but he can't manage to speak many words so he shuts it again and stares at you with that flabbergasted look. You try your best to save what is left of the situation which is nothing basically. "Seungcheol, I am so sorry. Fuck- Forget I said-"

"I hate you _____." Seungcheol's voice stops you in your tracks as you watch him like a deer facing a hunter's gun. Your broken heart breaks even more but you stand strong and soak his words up, knowing well how much you deserve it. Of course he hates you, genius.

"I really hate you, you know? You ruined my proposal. You just had to confess when I was gonna do it. Do you know how long I've been preparing for this? Do you know how stressed I was? I worked so hard to surprise you and now-" Seungcheol was sulking and rambling while you stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

What the fuck is he saying?

"WHAT?" You choke out, feeling like you are about to collapse any second. "W-what the fuck are you saying?"

Seeing your stunned state Seungcheol falls silent for a second before whispering, "I'm saying I'm in love with you too. I'm fucking crazy about you too." His face turns red at the confession and he groans, covering it with his hands, "Ugh! This is not how it was supposed to go down!"

While he is worried about the stupid proposal you feel like you've been running a marathon for the last hour. The air in your lung simply dissipates at his words and now you don't know whether to pass out, cry or laugh.

Seungcheol loves you? Choi Seungcheol, your best friend of eons, loves you? Are you dead? Is this heaven?

You're too lost in your head that you don't realize Seungcheol is standing right in front of you until his hands come up to hold your arms. "_____? Hey, you listening to me?" Blinking, you try to focus on him. "What the fuck Cheol?" You repeat once more, undeniably having a hard time trying to decipher everything but Seungcheol just chuckles at your incredulity. "You- you-" you stop yourself before you start crying.

"I know baby. I can't believe it either but fuck, am I relieved." Seungcheol pulls you into his chest, his strong arms snake around you in a secure hold. You immediately melt into a puddle, literally and manage to whisper, "Why...why didn't you say anything?" You hear him sigh, "I don't know baby. I was scared. I was worried we were gonna lose what we had, you know?" Hearing him call you baby makes you want to punch the air and jump up and down until the building is shaking but instead you swallow and wrap your arms tighter around him. Seungcheol holds you even tighter and together, you two just stand there, wrapped up in each other.

Unbeknownst to you, a tear slips down your cheek which Seungcheol notices when he pulls back, "Baby, why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Fuck. I- I'm just so fucking happy Cheol. This is...fuck. I can't believe it." You stammer with a shy smile. Beaming at your antics Seungcheol wipes the tear off before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. You watch him for a beat before whispering, "Can you...kiss me, please?" His eyes widen as he takes in a sharp breath and before you can feel embarrassed he presses his lips against yours. His lips are pillowy soft and you never want to stop kissing him- that's your first thought. They move against yours in gentle motions before tentatively, he slips his tongue inside your mouth. You can't help the moan that escapes from you as you grip his jacket tighter. You're about to climb on top of him like a horny teenager when he pulls back, a flushed yet cocky look on his face. "As much as I'd love to take this further, I still want to propose to take you to the beach. So we should get going. Besides, we have a lot to talk about."

"Can't we just forget all that? I don't care about the proposal." You whine like a child, clinging to Seungcheol. "Oh sweetheart, but I do. I worked so hard for it." Seungcheol coos at you. Huffing you bury your face in Seungcheol's chest as you remember you have to face Mingyu and Jeonghan. Hearing you sigh, Seungcheol asks, "What is it?" You shake your head, "Nothing. Let's get this done with."

When you both arrive at the beach, hands linked together, you find all your gang gathered in front of what you can assume is a decorated tarp. Mingyu and Jeonghan throw a dirty, knowing smile at the two of you as soon as they spot you.

"So...we missed the finale huh? Y'all are all done, no?" Jeonghan drawls, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while Mingyu snickers from beside him. Seungcheol watches them with confusion for a second before gasping, "Wait- you all knew? I- I didn't-"

"Everyone knew you liked _____. Expect...for her, I guess," Iris rolls her eyes. "Wait- What! I had no idea!" Seokmin wails from one side making others roll their eyes. "Of course you didn't, dumbass," Mingyu teased. "Well, I guess we better get going. Y'all probably have a lot to talk about. We can have that dinner tomorrow." Mingyu says dragging Seokmin with him as they all start to head towards the resort, giving the two of you privacy.

"Wait- Wha-" Seungcheol is still flabbergasted and Jeonghan pats his shoulder. "It's okay, dude. We've known you two for years. Y'all would look at each other with heart eyes and shit which it was impossible to overlook. You two are just huge fucking idiots." Jeonghan throws a cheeky wink at you. Inwardly, you're grateful they don't bring up your stupid antics and whining that you have done for Seungcheol until now.

"Wait- seriously? Those two are in love with each other? Like the I- wanna-have-sex with you type love?" You hear Seokmin say as they all take their leave and a smile appears on your face. However, Seungcheol has other plans. "Wait a minute!" He calls to the departing group. "So...at Joshua's party, were you purposefully flirting with her? To rile me up?" His question is directed at Mingyu who smirks proudly while you burn in embarrassment next to Seungcheol.

Your now boyfriend raises a brow at you, "Really?" You squirm under his gaze. "It was his idea!" You immediately point your finger at Mingyu who cackles. "What can I say? _____'s hot." He shrugs casually and your mouth drops at his straightforwardness. Seungcheol growls, "You little shit!" He attempts to throw his shoe at Mingy but the tall man runs away, poking his tongue out to him. Others chortle and follow him while Seungcheol guides you under the tarp murmuring, "I'll deal with him later."

Now that you're closer, you can really see how beautiful the white tarp is; decorated with fairy lights and lots of blankets and pillows to rest on. There's a little table at one side where a nice bottle of wine chills, along with some small snacks. The best thing about this whole arrangement undoubtedly is the view; the roaring waves crashing at the beach, the sound so soothing and melodic to your ears. Seungcheol silently watches you soak up the view with fond eyes. "Do you like it?" He whispers.

"I- I love it. I love it, Seungcheol. Thank you. So much," you whisper, almost breathless and a bit teary. Seungcheol quickly helps you sit down before engulfing you in his arms. He breathes into your hair while running a soothing palm down your back. "Thank you, _____."

"For what?" You whisper. "For choosing me. For loving me. I don't know...thank you for everything. I can't imagine a life without you."

"Oh Cheol," you melt further into him. "I can't either. I've- I've loved you for so long and now-"Choked up with emotions you fall silent and instead lean back and press your lips against him, softly at first. Then he takes the reign and the kiss becomes heated, filled with raw passion and desire. Somehow you end up on Seungcheol's lap while his hands wander underneath your dress, your lips connected all the time. Half consciously you start unbuttoning his shirt but Seungcheol seems to come out of the lust haze for a second as he grabs your hands to stop you. "Wait."

"Huh? Why?" You whisper, lips swollen, hair messy and heart pounding so loud you might die. "I- just...fuck. I don't want our first time to be like this. I wanna love you, be gentle with you." Even though his words warm your heart, the horny part of you pouts. "Well then let's get back to the hotel! You can love me all you want!" Seungcheol chuckles at your antics, "After I worked so hard to set this up? No baby, we have all night. Don't worry." He presses a kiss on your cheek as you sit there, grumping like a kid.

"Now let me pour you some wine. We have a lot to talk about. I can't believe you let Mingyu get all handsy with you!" The sulking in his tone is unmistakable and you can't help but smile. "Well, I had to get your attention somehow!" Giving you a playful glare Seungcheol hands you the wine glass before wrapping an arm around your waist as you both get comfortable against the pillows. "Well, you have my attention now and you're never getting rid of it." He whispers, pressing kisses into your neck, and you hum, a huge grin set on your face.

The night progresses as you both talk and reminisce memories under the tarp, snuggled closely. And when it gets too cold you two leave for the hotel where he ushers you into his room and spends the whole night kissing every inch of your body and cherishing you, whispers of 'I love yous' in the air.

Next week when all of you return after a fabulous trip, Joshua arranges a get-together for all his friends. You and Seungcheol walk into the restaurant hand in hand as the crowd erupts in cheers and teases. Under all their gazes, you turn shy but Seungcheol couldn't be more proud as he every so often presses kisses on your face and hands. You smile as he proudly shows you off and talks about you to everyone like you are the most endearing thing in this universe.

Your mind wanders back into that night, under the tarp, after you had a few drinks and Seungcheol had this giddy yet teasing smile on his face. You remember the way his fingers traced your heated skin and how loose lipped he became when he was just a little intoxicated.

"You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe you are mine, finally." He said, his hands traveling down to your breasts while the other cupped your cheek. "I'm never letting you go. Even if I become the most famous person in the world or a penniless, homeless man, I'm not letting you leave me. And someday, right here, like this, I'm gonna ask you to marry me. I'm gonna make you my wife and have way too many children with you."

"Seungcheol! You're drunk."

"Oh, you wish, baby. I know very well what I'm saying. I'm gonna marry my best friend one day. That's so fucking sexy, isn't it?"

The memory leaves goosebumps on your skin but you feel all giddy inside, like a lovestruck teenage girl. The past week with Seungcheol has been the best of your life and you can't wait to experience what's coming.

You're about to tell Seungcheol to stop his bragging when the restaurant door opens with a jingle, revealing Evelyn. Just as you are about to greet her you see the person accompanying her and your mouth falls shut. Along with you, your whole friend group falls silent as you all gape at the two people that just arrived. "What the fuck?" Seungcheol whispers from beside you. "You gotta be shitting me," whispers Jeonghan from some corner of the place.

Evelyn stands there, hands linked with the other person, a shy smile resting on her face. The same goes for the man, pink tinting his cheek as he scans everyone's reaction with a coquettish smile.

The man turns out to be Seokmin.

a/n 2: If you enjoyed reading this, please reblog and lemme know your thoughts! My asks as well as the comments section are always open so please spare a few seconds to let me know how you felt! Have a good day/night~

kofi | masterlist

Taglist: @haylo4ever @laconic-abditory @madamechoi @winterciella

[laladellakang]

Not Della Versus the Boys

masterlist | wattpad | requests / ask enhypen

2022.01.06

(italics dialogue = english)

requested!

della period episode

della unintentionally ignoring the boys

della vs the boys argument

della going to txt's dorm

della sleeping somewhere else and woke up in between jungwon and heeseung

woooooo lessgooo

Ah, it's that time of the month.

Or in my case, that time of the... couple of months- what?

Since the insertion of my IUD when I was seventeen, my period has almost completely stopped.

My last bleeding was literally just before I-Land, which has been over a year ago now.

My doctor said that it might stop completely and I was beginning to believe that it was my case but I guess my hormones still wanna act up. I'm glad I still kept emergency pads.

I've completely forgotten how painful it is.

More importantly, I forgot how sensitive it makes me.

Ever since last week, I've been crying a lot more on the smallest shit- it pisses me off a whole fucking lot.

The boys find it cute so they've been babying me a lot more. I guess they thought that it's a result of me opening up to them.

It was cute then, but it ain't cute now.

My period has officially started today. It hurts like shit and I'm extra fucking sensitive.

I'm lucky it came after school ended and I'm even more lucky that there's no work today.

I was planning on telling the boys after a hot shower, a hot drink, and a nap. I needed to recharge.

"Della, what is up with you? What did we do?" Jungwon asked when I just walked out of my room.

"Sorry, what?" my mind was still half asleep. I had an English dream so my mind can't process Korean right now.

"What happened to you? You've been ignoring us," Jay repeated. Oh everyone's in the living room.

"Wait- give me.. Wait.." I held a hand up and let myself zone out for a few seconds. "Okay, I'm awake. What were you saying?"

"What's the matter with you?! You've been ignoring us since you came home- what did we do?!" Heeseung exclaimed, making me jump a bit.

I have...? I didn't eat with them but I didn't think that was 'ignoring.'

"No I haven't-"

"You have!" Jungwon cut me off.

"Guys, I didn't mean to ignore you. I've just been- I'm not at my best, okay? Not today," I sighed, running a hand through my bangs.

"Why? Why won't you talk to us?" Jungwon asked.

"Do you still not trust us or something?" Heeseung sighed.

Okay, hold the fuck up.

"Of course I trust you. Why would you-"

"Then why won't you tell us?!" Heeseung exclaimed again.

"I was going to! I just wanted to take a shower first, drink tea, take a nap-"

"You didn't even eat with us! You dismissed us so easily earlier," oh so Heewon is steering this conversation.

It's rare seeing them like this. They're usually more calm when we argue. The only time they're like this is when they're arguing with the other boys, but never with me.

"I'm sorry, guys. I really am. You guys didn't do anything. I'm just not at my best, I'm on my period."

"How are you on your period?" "That doesn't excuse you ignoring us." Jungwon and Heeseung said at the same time.

I'm sorry, what?

The two looked at each other in surprise while the rest of the boys looked like they were ready to fight the two.

Guess the other five aren't mad at me anymore.

My calm conscience is telling me that they don't understand, that they don't know. Jungwon is a seventeen-year-old who knows nothing about IUDs and Heeseung doesn't have a sister.

But my sensitive, hormonal conscience is way too strong right now.

I scoffed with a sarcastic smile, looking away a bit with a small eyebrow raise.

"Del-"

"I want to be alone right now, okay?" I smiled. "No one come after me."

"Uhh.. oppa? I'm outside your dorm."

After a few seconds, the door opened to reveal a confused-looking Yeonjun.

"Bye, unnie. Thanks for taking me," I waved at Yunji when I stepped through the door.

"Have fun and tell me when you want to get picked up, okay?"

"Okay! Bye, be careful! Sorry for the fuss," I waved again.

"Aish, I'm the one who's sorry for being busy- take care of her, yeah? Yeonjun-ah?"

"We will. Thank you, noona," Yeonjun smiled before shutting the door. "Guys! Della's here!"

The two of us made our way to Yeonjun's room with the four members joining soon after.

"I know we said that you can come over whenever but what happened?" Beomgyu asked, sitting beside me on the bed.

"We got into a fight- well.. I guess I've automatically made up with the others but Heeseung and Jungwon..." I folded myself with a groan. "I'm on my period and they said shit that offended me. It's too much for my sensitive ass right now."

"Can I ask what did they say?" Kai sounded like he was being really careful. He's so sweet.

"Jungwon said 'how are you on your period?'- I have a device that helps pause my period so I haven't had it in over a year- and Heeseung said that me being on my period doesn't excuse me ignoring them," I sighed, sitting back up.

"Oh wow," Soobin mumbled. "Wait do you want warm tea? Are you hurting?" Ah Soobin..

"Thanks a lot oppa, but I'm okay for now," I smiled at him. "I feel horrible. I shouldn't be pissed. I know that they didn't mean to offend me so I just needed to get away or I might say something I'll regret."

"Heeseung said you've never gotten mad at them before," Beomgyu said.

"Annoyed yeah, mad no. It's not my thing," I shrugged.

"You're so chill, it's crazy," Yeonjun chuckled, pushing my head a little.

"But when she's actually annoyed at something like at the company or mean comments for example-" Beomgyu's comment was followed by a chorus of 'woo's. "Scaryy."

"You know- you would've suited with us really well!" Kai exclaimed. "Ahh she should've debuted with us!"

"That would've been so cool," Taehyun looked at him with wide eyes. "Yo! Imagine!"

"It would've been cool but guys- our maknae and only female member date all seven members of Enhypen? Are you serious?" Yeonjun asked with raised eyebrows, causing us to laugh.

"Anyway, Della. You shouldn't dismiss your feelings like that, you know? You're annoyed and it's okay," Yeonjun assured. "I would've been so mad, whether I was on my period or no," the other four made sounds of agreements.

"Arguments and all that are a part of relationships. It's okay to get mad or annoyed. It just shows that you care," Taehyun added.

Ugh, these two and their relationship advices.

"It's us versus the problem not me versus them," I mumbled while playing with my necklace.

"Oh wow! Write that down! We have to remember that!" Kai's eyes widened while Taehyun immediately opened the notes app on his phone to type the 'quote.'

"Us versus the problem..." Soobin nodded slowly.

"I'm sure Heeseung and Jungwon really regret what they said but I'm also sure that you already know that," Yeonjun continued.

"So what's your point, hyung?" Beomgyu asked.

"My point is.." he took a deep breath. "They all love you."

All of us stayed quiet for a few seconds before Taehyun spoke up.

"This is why you don't have a girlfriend."

I didn't go back to the dorm that night. Yeonjun suggested for me to push their buttons a bit. I slept on Soobin's bed while he slept with Yeonjun.

I would've slept on the couch if they had one.

Kai and Taehyun also went to fetch me some pads and a toothbrush from the store. These guys are so cute.

I told Jake where I was and even though the boys were upset, Jake, Sunghoon and Sunoo advised for me to stay here.

In Jake's words; 'Provoke them lmao.'

It worked a little too well.

Because I woke up in between two bodies, Yang Jungwon and Lee Heeseung's.

It's not the first time I slept with two of the boys but Soobin's bed is not as wide as mine so it's.. fairly cramped.

Both of them were still asleep, with Heeseung spooning me and Jungwon's legs tangled with mine. My gut tells me that it's still dark out.

How did they manage to join without waking me up?

I shifted my position so I would face Heeseung, causing the two to awake.

"Lala," he whined while tightening his hold on me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to dismiss your feelings. I was worried and scared and it got to my head and I know it's not an excuse and I kno-" I cut his ramble off with a kiss.

"I forgive you. I'm sorry for worrying you and I'm sorry for ignori-" this time, he was the one who cut me off with a kiss.

We stayed that way for a while before I pulled away when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry too, Lala. I didn't understand and before that, I was worried and confused and afraid because you've never been like that before and..." I waited for him to continue. "Why are you not stopping me like Heeseung-hyung?" he whined.

Heeseung and I laughed before I turned around to give the younger a kiss as well.

"Better?" I raised an eyebrow when I pulled away. "I'm sorry too, Wonie-" and he cut me off. Just like Heeseung.

"The others said sorry too, by the way," Heeseung mumbled against my shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you," Jungwon pulled away to tell me.

"I love you both, so much," I held both of their faces. "I can never be mad at you guys," the three of us adjusted our positions in a way where we could comfortably cuddle.

"By the way, Wonie- I know you guys are the Twinz but why are you two twinning so much today?"

taglist! @hoonstrology @jaetint @afiaaaa19 @1-800-enhypenbibi @studioreader @woopetals @sarang-wonie @sleepyenhasasha @ilyxion @toriluvsfics @i90snoo @fairydosii @danyxthirstae01 @seulgifted @clar-iii @hiqhkey​​

[kiriluvbot]

first kisses because i am. a sucker and also a bitch.

for my favorite ships.

krbk’s first kiss is aggressive. it’s bakugo taking kirishima by the shirt collar and smashing their lips recklessly and thoughtlessly. there is no elegance, there is no tenderness. it’s a fight to see who has the most pent up yearning to let out (it’s bakugo) and a fight to see who can figure out how to kiss properly first (it’s kirishima). it’s kirishima pulling away first with stars in his eyes and a breathless, “woah, dude.” it’s bakugo pulling him close again, crimson on scarlet, and saying, “don’t fucking call me dude.” it’s kirishima cupping his face and slowing him down, it’s kirishima teaching him to be gentle. it’s kirishima learning how to kiss bakugo slowly, carefully, without knicking bakugo’s lips with his teeth.

tdbk’s is also aggressive but not in the same way. it’s aggressive in that these two bastards have been pining for so long because they’re both too goddamn stubborn to admit how they feel to themselves, let alone to each other. it’s years of built up tension until there’s literally too much of it, until the dam just fucking bursts and everything comes pouring out at once. it’s bakugo making a snappy comment and todoroki responding in his usual passive, but secretly bastardly way that makes bakugo purse his lips, then away so the two toned boy can’t see him flush. it’s an argument after sparring, it’s getting in each other’s faces, it’s that cutting, sly comment todoroki makes. it’s bakugo raising a brow, spitting out, “oh yeah? you wanna fuckin’ bet, pretty boy?” and it’s todoroki not backing down. it’s a heated kiss that is all anger and yearning. it’a grabbing hands and tousled hair and battered sighs. it’s them tearing each other apart by touch first. they learn gentleness later. much later.

bksr’s first kiss is all frustration, exasperation. it’s a slow, slow burn because bakugo is stubborn and sero is patient. it’s bakugo refusing to acknowledge sero makes his stupid heart soar, what with his stupid smile and his stupid questions asking bakugo if he’s alright, if he ate breakfast, if he wants to hang out after dinner. it’s sero staying patient, sero mever toeing past any lines, until bakugo is tired of ignoring how he feels and tired of not knowing what sero’s fucking cherry chapstick tastes and feels like on his own lips. it’s sero, on the floor of his room talking about something kaminari did, and bakugo staring at him. it’s sero catching him staring, and bakugo surging forward before he can second guess himself. it’s a burst of energy, a brief peck, until sero pulls him closer and asks him to do it again.

srrk’s first kiss, i’ve written ten different ways. it’s quiet, careful, tender. it’s fearful and hesitant every time. it happens after a realization, every time, that they’ve been in love with each other the entire time. it’s realizing that momentous thing, and todoroki outright asking, while right beside sero who is reading the dialogue of his manga under his breath, “can i kiss you?” it’s sero short circuiting before closing the gap. it’s a gentle brush of lips, before the manga is lost and suddenly theyre touching in seventeen different places and todoroki is wondering why he hasn’t asked sooner. it’s breaking apart after, out of breath, and sero saying, “shouto. my boy.” before returning to his manga. their relationship doesn’t change, but there’s bonus kissing. everyone thought they were already a thing long before they actually became a thing because. well. sero and todoroki are both kinda dumb.

[huihuiheart]

Flufftober 2021

Navigation

October 2021 Schedule

Please read before continuing: A new fic drops at 7am EST everyday. There will be warnings if necessary, some may have a tad bit of angst or something of the sort. In all though this will be your fluffy cliché fix for the month. All works will be SFW!!! All works will be tagged: Flufftober 2021

Continuation Requests: 0/3

Key: 💜 - Gender Neutral 💗 - Female Reader 💙- Male Reader

1. Home - Seventeen - Summary: No one is strong enough to do everything on their own. Luckily for you, you don’t have to. Not when you have an amazing safe place and just as amazing people in your life. - Warnings: Mention of beauty standards, negative body image, breaking point, mental/emotional break down, crying. - 💜

2. Moved In - Jacob - Summary: Not too long after moving in together you and Jacob have a little hiccup with your relationship. Nothing the two of you can’t get through though, especially when you two share the same two braincells. -  Warnings: Mentions of a minor argument/disagreement. - 💜

3. Caught - Jisung (NCT) - Summary: Maybe getting caught in the rain with your crush wasn’t such a bad thing. - Warnings: Mentions of nudity (they get changed in the same house, but different rooms and never see each other naked apart from Jisung’s bare chest). - 💜

4. Tough Love - Yanan - Summary: Yanan is starting feel left out and it’s kind of making him regret getting you a kitten to love instead of him. He’ll get his attention soon enough though.Warnings: Scratches and biting (from a kitten), that’s it I think. - 💜

5. Rivalry - Mingi - Summary: Being the top two sports captains at the school meant that everyone had their eyes on you, of course sharing the spotlight wasn’t easy. Or at least that was the excuse you two made up for your little rivalry. -  Warnings: Teasing, competitive nature, rivalry stemming from a secret crush, mutual pinning for a little bit, betting (literally just bet like a date), cursing, mentions of sex nothing explicit though. - 💜

6. Grand Opening - Kun- Summary: You’d been walking by the new bakery taking in all the wonderful smells and developing cravings for the mystery desserts, so of course you had to step in the day that they opened. - Warnings: Reader is blatantly flirting with him. - 💜

7. Flustered - Changbin - Summary:  Ask anyone else and they would say that Changbin is much higher on the social food chain, and yet he wasn’t the one who seemed to have the upper hand here. - Warnings: None? - 💜

8. Thief - Yuto-  Summary: Yuto’s finally figured out who’s stealing his clothes, and he’s not having it anymore. - 💜

9.  Misconceptions - Q - Summary: Misconceptions and jumping to conclusions can cause all kinds of problems, but nothing you couldn’t handle. - Warnings: Slight angst, mentions of cheating (no one actually did there’s just a scare), cursing, crying, mentions of sex. - 💜

10. Rescue - The Boyz- Summary: The message they get from you has them panicking, but they’re more than ready to come to your rescue.  - Warnings: Hospital themes, injuries. - 💜

11. Never too Late - Lucas - Summary: It had been a long time since you had last seen Lucas, but that didn’t mean that feelings had changed for either of you. - Warnings: Mentions of a breakup (years in the past). - 💜

12. New Thing - Seungmin - Summary: You and Seungmin were still new to being a couple, that meant you were still in the mushy stages. - Warnings: This is cliché and kind of cheesy. - 💜

13.  Day Off - Yunho - Summary: Yunho and you finally had a day off together and he was very adamant on how he intended to spend it. - Warnings: None? - 💜

14.  Fix a Heart - Jaehyun - Summary: You couldn’t just stand around and let Jaehyun suffer alone, not when you could do something. - Warnings: Mentions of a heart break, kind of one sided love, Jaehyun is drunk (wine drunk at that). - 💜

15. Homecoming - Felix - Summary: You and Felix decided it was time to visit your family, even after all this time he was still nervous about his impression though. Especially when you had news to share with them. - Warnings: Pregnancy. - 💗

16. Good Guy - Ten- Summary: Ten gets a little self conscious when he sees just how different he is from your ex. You convince him he has nothing to worry about though. - Warnings: Mentions of prison, mentions of exes, mentions of insecurities/self-conscious. - 💜

17. Teddy - Byungchan - Summary: Byungchan had been practicing late and it was starting to weigh on both of you, so you decided to visit him and try and convince him to get some well needed rest. - Warnings: Slight overworking. - 💜

18. Sleeping Beauty - Kihyun- Summary: Kihyun shows up unannounced, but you weren’t one to complain. - Warnings: None that I can think of. - 💜

19. Frosty - Yoongi- Summary: Yoongi knew you were stubborn, but at least that meant he knew you well enough to come prepared. - Warnings: None? - 💜

20. Something Different - Dino - Summary: Chan steps up to help you when you start feeling self conscious after a change in your appearance. - Warnings: Feeling self-conscious - 💜

21. Angelic Amaryllis - Hyunjin - Summary: When you first met Hyunjin you thought he was just an annoying, cocky playboy. Now you think he annoying, cocky, but also adorable as all heck.  - Warnings: Hyunjin is a little playfully (annoyingly) cocky, and reader teases him a little bit. - 💜

22. Planning Ahead - Jungkook - Summary: Jungkook has been thinking about the future and he wants to be sure he has what it takes for what you two have planned for the future. - Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy. - 💗

23. Cuddle Season - The8 - Summary: It was easy to be clingier when the weather got cold, or at least easier to make an excuse anyways. - Warnings: None? - 💜

24. Puzzle Piece - Jongho - Summary: Something reminds you both how you fit together so perfectly. - Warnings: None? - 💜

25. Overdue - Jeongin- Summary: Some time just the two of you was long overdue and you weren’t going to let your boyfriend’s playful nature keep that from happening.  - Warnings: Playful teasing, teasing threats, I think that’s it. - 💜

26. Morning Memories - Juyeon - Summary: Juyeon was lucky enough to snag you, but he’s not sure he realized just how lucky that made him until this moment. - Warnings: None? - 💜

27. Creative Process - Seungsik - Summary: You both had creative minds, drawn to your muse yet pulled apart by various schedules. The push and pull of your lives common place now, and something you found little ways to account for. - Warnings: None? - 💜

28. Happy Anniversary - Jeno - Summary: After three years sparks still flew the same way they did when you first met, as unexpected as this relationship was he wouldn’t change it for the world. - Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, heights. - 💜

29. Caught - Younghoon - Summary: You’d been missing your favorite hoodie for months, conveniently the same amount of time that Younghoon had been away on tour for. - Warnings: None? - 💜

30. Unexpected Surprise - Seonghwa - Summary: Trying to build onto your little family of two was proving to be harder than you thought it would be. Not that you could be happy like this, but you were just waiting for that little something special. - Warnings: Themes of pregnancy, trouble getting pregnant, some crying, being taunted and somewhat harassed by family members, cursing, some themes of self doubt, throwing up/morning sickness. - 💗

31. Petal Parade - Pentagon - Summary: When you’d accidentally shared something about yourself thinking it wasn’t that big of a deal you didn’t expect them to react like this. - Warnings: Some slight anxiety (like social anxiety), but I think that’s it. - 💜

[bigskydreaming]

I will forever squint suspiciously at a fandom that overall makes a bigger deal out of Dick Grayson expressing he didn’t want to replace his father when he was still young and actively grieving than they do Tim Drake literally hiring an actor to be his fake uncle and saying no to Bruce’s first actual offer of adoption.

Like, if you can get on board with Timothy Drake-Wayne after that, because Tim changed his mind after he was further along in his grieving process, you can get on board with the idea that at some point after the age of ten or twelve Dick similarly changed his mind about thinking a second father would be an insult to his first father’s memory.

*Shrugs* I just don’t get how hard some people go to bat for the idea that Dick never wanted or needed someone he viewed as an actual parent at any point after he was eight. Because you can’t deny that whatever Dick has said about that in the comics, he’s NEVER made it nearly AS big a deal as most fans who cite it at all do. Like, when you run with the most extreme extrapolation of that but gloss right over Tim’s far more extensive efforts to keep Jack Drake the sole father figure in his memory at first, I feel like something else is going on there.

(And I’m not trying to turn this into a Tim vs Dick thing, btw, I’m honestly just using Tim’s story there as a benchmark for how a clearly parallel sentiment is overwhelmingly referenced in regards to just one character but not another. My issues with the way people engage with this particular idea in regards to Dick like, exists without Tim being in the equation at all. That was simply an example of the fact that there IS a discrepancy.)

But point being, as all roads in this particular direction of thought almost always seem to lead to Dick being slotted into some nebulous category separating him from the rest of his siblings, where he’s only partially Bruce’s kid but not FULLY, not like the others....I am the Wary. 

Because whatever the surface intentions behind that, it almost inevitably voids some of Bruce’s responsibility to him as a parent, while at the same time making it easier to heap parental or caregiver style responsibilities for the others on Dick. If Dick’s more like Bruce than he is like his siblings in the overall family dynamic, this not only lessens the need to show him on the receiving end of Bruce being a parental figure, it simultaneously heightens the urge to make him a parental figure to the others to pick up Bruce’s slack there, because they’re more partners than they are father and son, see. So why wouldn’t Dick pick up Bruce’s slack and help him out there, and why would he need Bruce to actually be fulfilling that very role with him instead?

All the things people are critical of Bruce for in his parenting with Dick aren’t quite as bad, right, when Dick’s not fully his son or doesn’t quite view Bruce as his father....its easier to reframe it as fights between colleagues. Or recast Dick’s estrangement from Bruce as not actually a failure on Bruce’s part to reach out and cement exactly what Dick meant to him every time Dick flat out says “I want to know what I mean to you, give a name to it, give me an explanation for why you made these choices that isn’t that you don’t want me because all I see when I look at those choices is you expressing you don’t want me.” 

Because if Dick doesn’t actually want that explanation ever, if Dick doesn’t actually want that rock-solid expression of Bruce putting a name to what he feels for Dick and what he views him as, then the arguments between Bruce and Dick in his late teenage years DO become two-sided. Its just them butting heads back then. Rather than what they actually WERE in the comics, which was Dick clearly expressing insecurities about his place in Bruce’s life and Bruce repeatedly letting him leave or outright telling him to leave without actually giving it to him.

(I’m not even talking about NTT #55 for once, I’m actually talking about when Dick went to Gotham after he found out about Jason being Robin now. And as the events of that issue get referenced a TON in fandom, its HIGHLY suspect that one specific part of that issue gets rewritten in particular: where its acted like it was Dick that stormed off in a huff there or Dick who didn’t want anything more than to confront Bruce about Robin. It really doesn’t get addressed enough IMO that yes, Bruce said outright that he did it because he missed Dick....and then two panels later, Bruce literally asks Dick to go now. Says I would like you to leave now. Bruce is the one who blew up and lost his temper, literally smashing something while Dick was just heated because he was understandably upset, while Bruce somehow made it like he was the one being hurt by Dick and asking for space from him. Yeah, he said I miss you, but he never DID anything with that and in fact just turned around two seconds later and drove Dick away again, like Holy Mixed Signals, Batman! Y’know? Like what exactly was Dick supposed to do with that? “Oh, so Bruce misses me, but also he didn’t want me there, like I was literally RIGHT THERE for the first time in seventeen months and he missed me so much that....he didn’t even ask me to stay for dinner? Or call or reach out to me afterwards? So....my conclusion is.....what, exactly?”)

Ultimately though, my big beef with the stuff about adoption or Dick not wanting to replace his father, its not even about those specifically. Its about that period when Bruce very visibly was NOT in Dick’s life....and that was BY BRUCE’S CHOICE. That is the thing that needs addressing in my book, and far too often goes unresolved. No matter what the particulars of Dick’s views or wants re: adoption, there is literally no confusion about the existence of comics where Dick is repeatedly the one to reach out to Bruce, at a point in his life where he no longer had any legal ties to Bruce whatsoever.....and clearly express in one way or another that he is there and willing to talk, that in fact he WANTS to talk about why Bruce doesn’t seem to want HIM, specifically. 

It was Dick who brought up the issue of Bruce adopting Jason but not him and asked WHY at that one issue with them at a party. It was Dick who returned to Gotham and asked Bruce WHY he made Jason Robin when he hadn’t wanted Dick to be Robin - (and for the record, NO version of events where Bruce is the one to make Jason Robin aligns with Dick voluntarily giving up Robin.....the one and only continuity in which Dick did that, HE made the choice to pass Robin on to Jason. Mixing and matching continuities specifically to make Dick unable to claim hurt or resentment for the identity he crafted for himself being given away to someone else without his approval because ‘he was the one who said he didn’t want it anymore’ is yet again, suspect, as it serves absolutely no purpose other than to lessen the hurt done to him and abdicate Bruce’s culpability in hurting him when he did that). 

It was Dick who returned to Gotham after Jason died with no intention but to express his condolences and share their grief, and it was Dick who returned to Gotham to check on Bruce after Tim said he was worried he was going to get himself killed, as well as again more longterm in order to help with Tim’s training.

And in each and EVERY one of those situations.....it was Bruce that ended those encounters, and ALWAYS without ever offering Dick any actual resolution or change in their dynamic. Despite Dick’s very presence in each of these being a very clear sign that Dick was unhappy with their estrangement and wanted a change to it or else he wouldn’t even be there, he would be off being comfortably estranged somewhere else and totally content with that.

THAT’S the bigger issue and always has been, I think. That no matter how else you parse it, Dick repeatedly looked for and asked for reassurances, some kind of actual TIES to Bruce, and that Bruce for whatever personal reasons of his own, repeatedly did not give....even when Dick walked him right up to the perfect opportunity to just fucking say “I would like you to come home more, I want you here, I want you as part of my family even though you’ve already aged out of our existing legal bond.”

Bruce still just WOULD NOT SAY IT. Dick was very clear about needing and wanting something from Bruce that Bruce DID NOT GIVE HIM. Bruce gave him basically nothing to work with in these encounters more often than not. 

(In the interest of not being disingenuous here, I do admit that at the party when Dick asked Bruce why he’d adopted Jason and not him, Bruce did give a fairly touching response about how by the time he thought Dick would be open to it, he thought that Dick was too old to actually want or need it anymore. BUT, problem is, even with that it does absolutely nothing to change or address how the very fact that Dick was expressing insecurity about this now meant that Dick WASN’T actually too old to want or need it. It was literally a smack in the face that Bruce’s conclusion was wrong and not actually about Dick’s wants. And Bruce knew this, even referenced it at later points when he threw it back in Dick’s face to accuse Dick of resenting Bruce adopting Jason and not him.....which is a clear indication that Bruce knew it was something Dick still wanted or else there would be no reason for resentment, and THAT is the issue there. That no matter what Bruce said at that party about his reasons for not adopting Dick sooner, that very conversation itself should have been reason enough for Bruce to rethink his stance then there....but he didn’t. Also he ended up adopting Dick like five years later soooooo.....if he could do it then when Dick was even older, that doesn’t work as a barrier for him not doing it then.)

And that’s the troubling part.....how many people try and make that period of their lives unclear with no other visible purpose than to make the fact that Bruce WOULD NOT OUTRIGHT CEMENT DICK AS FAMILY OR ASK HIM TO STAY, like.....less problematic.

And as I’ve said before and will no doubt say again.......that logic process bugs the hell out of me, because it ultimately tries to claim the responsibility for Dick’s unhappiness in this regard back then is at least as much his fault as Bruce’s. That it was some kind of fight between equals, or that it was something Dick initiated or that Bruce had no power to resolve on his own via just his own choices or gestures.

Because it wasn’t! That’s not remotely what all of that was! And like I’m also always saying, you don’t HAVE to stick with the canon by any means. You can literally rewrite things so Bruce adopts Dick before he’s eighteen and they never HAVE that period, you can rewrite things so that Bruce reaches out and ends that period early on by DOING THE WORK of being the parent in that situation, you can ‘fix that’ by any number of means......yet over and over we see that period of estrangement repeatedly upheld as a thing that exists in the history that fics and headcanons reference having happened......but with the only ACTUAL change from the comics being that its framed as though it was just growing pains or Dick being stubborn or a dozen other things that somehow keep coming back to Dick doing something wrong there instead of repeatedly standing in front of Bruce asking for him to clarify their relationship and Bruce changing the subject or asking him to leave.

Again. THAT’S the problem.

You want Good Parent Bruce Wayne? Then WRITE Good Parent Bruce Wayne. Don’t just write Stubborn Teenaged Asshole Dick Grayson who btw doesn’t even really want Bruce to be his parent so there’s absolutely nothing Bruce could have done to bridge that gap back then anyway. 

(As that’s an equally critical part of the equation here as well. See, since Dick DID clearly express a want for a clear connection to Bruce back then, acting like Dick never really wanted a second father is a super convenient way to write over the part where Dick spelled out for Bruce how to bridge the divide between them and make things good again.....by demonstrating an actual WANT to have Dick in his family!)

But writing Stubborn Teenage Asshole Dick Grayson Who Did This To Himself.....that is something entirely different from writing Good Parent Bruce Wayne. You haven’t actually done or said anything with BRUCE’S character by just making Dick the fall guy for every conflict between them as though they were just equals all along and there was never any kind of actual parent child relationship or even a DESIRE for there to be a parent child relationship. Where the responsibility for being the PARENT like, lands on the....y’know. Parent.

And for the record, I don’t think this issue is confined just to this period of the comics, I think rather that its kinda the point of origin of a very large recurring problem in Dick’s conflicts with other people.

Because like I said, it was abundantly clear that Dick was expressing a want to be acknowledged as family, or just flat out acknowledged by Bruce at all, during this time. And if people can somehow make THAT period into just his fault.....then of course it should be no surprise that they can make any conflict he’s part of into his fault. Its a freaking blueprint for doing just that! 

And that’s exactly why this pattern recurs so damn often with EXACTLY the same fanon beats......whatever role the other character plays even in initiating a conflict is shifted onto Dick and somehow made into his own proactive choice and not something he’s actually reacting to. Thus Dick does double duty as both the CAUSE of the conflict and the resulting EFFECT - aka how he reacted to that thing that originally, he did not actually cause or initiate. While meanwhile, the other character not only gets off scot free bearing no actual culpability....no, now since DICK is the one making all the actual choices in the conflict from start to finish, now the other character is actually his VICTIM in it as well.

And that’s just.....so....blegh.

[xiyao-feels]

@hqfeels

Oh man, as someone who loves 3zun, and thinks the mess of intertwining relationships is what makes it interesting, I really should not have read this post - while I think you make some interesting points for a different interpretation of the Nielan relationship, I would also caution against basing your interpretation so closely to the words of what is a translation

e.g. when you discuss LXC not framing things in terms of the sworn brother relationship, you point to the use of “one of his sworn brothers” vs “my” or “our” - chinese doesn’t always use pronouns, so it could very well be the translator having to fill in

I make note of this, not as a nitpick, but bc I think it goes to the heart of the framing of the relationship. Because I think Xiyao is fundamentally framed within the 3zun context - after all, what does JGY call LXC to show they’re close? Er-ge. “2”, not just Ge. NMJ, as Da-ge eternally haunts their relationship. The point of rejection from LXC? You don’t have to call me Er-ge anymore.

So, hey! I appreciate that you said you shouldn't have read my post, but I thought your points were worth addressing, and since you left comments in the notes I figured it was reasonable to respond. If you don't want to read this post, I completely understand, and I've left a bunch of empty lines after this paragraph so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The point about relying too heavily on exact shades of meaning is definitely a good one. Reading over my post, however, I think there are only three places where I do that; the point identified, later for one point in my discussion of QHJ's teacher, and actually later in the temple when I talk about the "sob" of Liebing as some evidence for LXC's grief for NMJ.

I think it's worth asking: how much does any one of these points contribute to the argument? They're definitely not irrelevant, or I wouldn't have pointed them out, but even so there's only so much wiggle room. No matter what pronouns he uses, for example, LXC only spends one clause of that speech directly on JGY killing NMJ, and it's in the context of, well, a general lack of reaction of personal grief. If—not even if he actually said 'our sworn brother' or 'my sworn brother,' I do think that would be some evidence of personal betrayal, even if it has to be considered in light of the rest of his reactions and non-reactions. But if, in the original text, the Chinese simply didn't specify the pronouns such that "his" is the translator's best guess—I just don't see that as a serious blow to the argument, given the consistency of the pattern as a whole, and I think it's kind of cherry-picking to suggest that it is.

Second, I don't think the pronoun there is ambiguous as is suggested. Consider the phrasing; it's not just "his sworn brother," it's "one of his sworn brothers." Supposing that "his" wasn't present in the original text. "One of my sworn brothers"? "One of our sworn brothers"? Neither really makes sense. Of course, perhaps they might make more sense in Chinese; but that's a little further than "what if the translator had to pick a pronoun."

Now, I think the above points are worth considering on their own merits, which is why I brought them up first. However, I have to say: I did, actually, check the Chinese, for the "one of his sworn brothers" and indeed in multiple places. I didn't mention it in the post for the same reason I usually try not to rely on it in my posts: because I feel like I'd end up setting myself up as some kind of authority when I'm very much not, and because I'm frequently fairly confused XP I have, what, one term of Mandarin, some amount of self-study, and Pleco installed on my phone. But I do often look at the original text and try to work things out, and sometimes I learn stuff that's been lost in translation, and often I can go well, my best guess aligns with the translation. If you want to confirm for yourself, and I encourage you to do so!!, then you can look at the text here: https://www.kunnu.com/modaozushi/. It's in chapter 64.

This is the clause about JGY killing one of his sworn brothers: 他设计杀害了自己的一位义兄 ("that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers"). The pronoun before "one of his sworn brothers" is 自己, which is a pronoun referring to the subject of the sentence—in this case 他, he, JGY. Now, could I be wrong? Of course! Should anyone rely on uncited statements from a total stranger? No! I strongly encourage people to check this out for themselves, and if someone who actually does speak Chinese wants to offer some guidance I'd be very grateful. But given that it matched the translation from people who do actually speak both Chinese and English, it seemed enough to allow me to rely on the translation.

On that note, actually, I'll admit I missed a trick. "我父亲的一位恩师", one of my father's teachers—"teacher" there is 恩师, which Pleco gives me as "mentor; one's kind and respected master (or teacher)." So it does have more of an emotional edge, and I'll edit the post to acknowledge this. Even so, I think it's worth remembering both that it's one word, he's not adding lots of adjectives about the teacher, and most importantly that the teacher simply isn't lingered on. The effects of his mother killing the teacher, yes, and the contrast between his memories of his mother and the fact that she did kill his father's teacher...but the teacher himself is just not dwelled on.

(For completion's sake, the "sob" of Liebing in ch 107 is "呜咽", which Pleco gives as 1) sob, whimper 2) (of water, wind, stringed instrument, etc) weep; wail; lament; mourn.)

But again, quibbling over phrasing is to some extent a distraction. The important thing is not so much any one incident as the pattern they form, considered together; this is why my original post was so long, because I was trying to consider the overall pattern, and I think the comment about framing is pointing at the same thing. So it's worth asking: are xi//yao framed in terms of the 3//zun relationship?

In fact, I think this divides into two questions. First: does the text frame xi//yao in terms of the 3//zun relationship? And second: do xi//yao understand their relationship fundamentally in terms of the 3//zun relationship? I think you could make more of an argument on the first one, or at least, xi//yao and NMJ are part of their own narrative in the text and often show up together. But in terms of the actual relationship, it's the second question I'm interested in here, and I think the answer is very much no.

First of all, a note on timelines. In MDZS, LXC and JGY knew each other for about seventeen years; they were sworn brothers with NMJ for about four. To put this another way, they were sworn brothers with NMJ for less than a quarter of their overall time together. Moreover, they had significant time without NMJ before they all became sworn brothers, as well as after his death. Now, much of their relationship is revealed to us through Empathy, which necessarily limits us to when NMJ was alive, and moreover shows us only those of their moments together that he happens to see, so it's understandable that these years dominate our view, but I do think it's important to remember.

Okay, now let's consider what we see of their relationship. Given how much of it we see through NMJ's eyes, it's in fact remarkable how much it isn't about him. In the first conversation we see them have together, LXC is proposing that MY stop being NMJ's deputy and go serve his father in Langya (though only after confirming that's still what MY wants, note—and which he knows MY had wanted because MY literally told him!). When MY says he does want it but he owes NMJ, LXC says he thinks NMJ will understand but volunteers to talk with NMJ himself if he doesn't. Neither of them have told NMJ they know each other; after NMJ comes in, when he seeks to find out how they do, asking LXC and then ordering MY to speak after LXC refuses, they don't tell him. I'm not saying either of them are unhappy with NMJ here—quite the contrary!—but there's no sign they see the other, or their relationship with each other, fundamentally in terms of him. (For a close reading of the scene, as ever, I recommend confusion-and-more's post here.)

Furthermore, in MDZS, after MY flees from NMJ in Langya and becomes a spy, he starts sending LXC letters with information, and LXC works out who it is. As with pretty much everything we see about them, this suggests a quite astonishing intimacy—that MY was able to trust that LXC would work it out, and that LXC did. Not only did NMJ not know who the spy was, in MDZS he didn't know there was a spy at all—LXC concealed it from him entirely. Now, this is obviously very solid practice for spies, but again—you have xiyao together, and NMJ apart. (I'll also note that in MDZS LXC is exchanging blows with NMJ sword to saber until the very end of the post-Sun Palace confrontation, even after MY steps forward; he definitely does not seem to think that NMJ has any sort of right, here.)

At the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, we see them together but, again, not with NMJ, and there's no suggestion that LXC had socialized with him particularly—JGY is aware of how much prey he's taken, but of course JGY is running the hunt. Then when they both go off at the end of the scene to expand the hunting grounds, LXC asks LWJ if he'd like to help, but there's zero suggestion that they're going to seek out NMJ, even though he's part of the reason JGY needs to expand the hunting grounds.

In chapter 73, LXC and JGY are talking after the conference. Then NMJ comes over and comments disapprovingly about JGY. Again, LXC doesn't actually speak a single word after NMJ joins them. This... really does not suggest perceiving him and JGY as fundamentally part of that triad, imho.

The guqin scene: LXC and JGY are very much focused on each other. Only LXC talks with NMJ at all, and only once, briefly, answering his objection. NMJ is described as looking up before his objection, which suggests to me that he/wasn't/ looking up before. Meanwhile LXC and JGY are complimenting each other's playing, LXC is offering to teach him exclusive teachings, and JGY is telling LXC about his mother. You could reasonably say LXC teaching JGY the Song of Clarity is or is partly about NMJ—his desire again for them to reconcile—but in their interactions they are focused on each other to an almost absurd extent, and not NMJ.

The discussion conference mentioned in chapter 30? We're told NMJ wasn't originally planning to go; it seems likely that we would have been told if the same was true of LXC, given that LWJ is the one telling us about it. So, again, we have JGY and LXC together, and NMJ only coming in for outside reasons.

At the beginning of the stairs conflict, when NMJ comes in and calls JGY out, we see that JGY and LXC are discussing something, with "notes of all colours" on the desk before them. WWX is later going to realize they're discussing the watchtowers, which even now, well before he's Jin-zongzhu, JGY is trying to convince his father to build; there's no sign, on the other hand, that NMJ even knows what they're working on.

Their last interaction before NMJ's death /is/ about NMJ, with JGY very upset and LXC defending the idea that NMJ hasn't rejected JGY completely. But again this doesn't suggest that they view their relationship fundamentally in terms of their relationship with NMJ, and as we've seen it's not what they're usually talking about.

I talk here about two patterns of 3//zun interaction in the Empathy chapters: broadly, MY/JGY and LXC talking privately and NMJ coming and interrupting them, and NMJ attacking MY/JGY, and LXC intervening.

Looking over their interactions, the text does not, to me, suggest that LXC and JGYview their relationship fundamentally in terms of NMJ or of 3//zun.

And again—LXC doesn't bring up NMJ in the temple, and he only reacts to NMJ-as-NMJ three brief times.

Now, it is of course true that JGY calls LXC er-ge as a sign of closeness, and that he's 'er-ge' because NMJ is the first brother. However, a few points.

First, I would argue that it's a recurring theme in MDZS (and /especially/ for JGY) that the form of a relationship doesn't necessarily match what the relationship actually is; the form, therefore, might be an interesting point to consider, but it must be considered in light of the evidence we have about their actual relationship.

Second, JGY calls LXC er-ge a full thirteen times in the temple chapters. Once in chapter 99, when he's responding to LXC about JL; twice in chapter 100, discussing NHS; in chapter 105, three times leading up to his explanation of the letter; six full times when answering LXC's questions in chapter 106; and then once in chapter 108 when he is literally asking LXC for protection from NMJ's fierce corpse.

Once and only once, on the last er-ge in chapter 105, does LXC respond to being called er-ge, though we're told he did so earlier off-page. And—well, look at the paragraph:

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer the need to call me ‘Brother.’”

This is not only not framed as an essential rejection, it's framed as explicitly /not/ that: "Lan XiChen wasn't able to turn against him yet." And again, as I pointed out in my post, we're explicitly given a reason for it that has absolutely nothing to do with NMJ! 'Don't call me er-ge because you killed da-ge' would be very natural; the fact that it's explicitly not about that suggests strongly to me that they simply don't think of 'er-ge' in terms of its relation to NMJ, despite the form.

[blush-and-books]

AH CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWERS you deserve it queen!! i literally hate myself for this but uh can i do cannonverse, angst, confession, fight ?¿ y do i want an angsty emotional love confession in the middle of a fight. y am i this way

you’re so lucky i had been thinking about juke angst with @willexx a week ago or i would not have had a substantial idea for this lmao. thank you for your love and support!!

Flynn is Julie’s best friend. She loves Flynn, so, so much -- but sometimes, she is too much of a realist for Julie to not feel like she is about to lose her mind.

It’s pretty consistent, too: “Julie, I just don’t want to see you heartbroken when he crosses over.” “He is a ghost, Julie! You two could never have a real, normal relationship.” “And what do you do when you’re aging and he’s still a seventeen year old boy? This is only going to make you unhappy in the end.”

But Luke makes her happier than she’s ever been. 

Every time her and Flynn argue about it, Julie finds herself pulling away from Luke subconsciously because every time she gets close to him, her best friend’s voice shrieks in her head to stay away. But then Luke will smile, and the echoes will end, and she will find her way back into his arms where she knows she should be. 

Only, one time, the fight gets a little more vicious than Julie ever expected. 

“Have you ever even considered if it’s worth it, Jules? Is this dumb boy really worth it? When your heart breaks over something that you both knew was coming, you aren’t allowed to come cry to me when I’ve only been trying to help this whole time.”

Julie’s never raised her voice at Flynn so loudly as she did in that moment. “If you have to ask me if he’s worth it, then you clearly don’t know him or me. He’s worth it, and he’ll be worth it tomorrow, and he’ll be worth it if I had the choice to avoid it or relive it over and over. No one is more worth it.”

And that’s how Julie finds herself in the arms of her other best friend, Luke Patterson, with tears in her eyes over the fact that she hasn’t spoken to Flynn all day. 

“I’m sorry you guys got into a fight,” Luke mumbles warmly in her ear as they sit on her bed. “Can I ask what happened?”

Julie hesitates before answering, because technically, her and Luke haven’t actually talked about their interesting little relationship or whether or not it should move any farther. She suspects that both of them want it to, but… Every doubt Flynn has ever raised to her probably isn't new to Luke either. 

But she wants him to know how she feels. How much she loves him. 

So she bites the bullet, and tightens her arms around his torso. 

“She’s worried about you and I. She doesn’t think it's smart for you and me to be together, and she thinks I’m just going to end up heartbroken, and yesterday I was just- I was just trying to tell her how you were worth all the risks.”

Luke’s hands, which had been running slowly up and down her back, still. “You’re getting in fights with your friends because of me?” “Just Flynn, she’s the only one who knows about you.”

“Well, she’s a pretty important friend.”

His tone is insistent, and almost argumentative, and dread pools in Julie’s gut like she’s about to have to defend her feelings about Luke to Luke. Worried, she lifts herself off of his body, and meets his eyes. 

“Yes, she is, but if she cares about me she’ll have to understand.” Luke looks at her, uncomfortably, like she’s crazy. “I’m sorry, have- Have I misread something? If Alex or Reggie came to you and asked you if I was worth it-” Her voice catches. The tears in her eyes should have been expected. “Would you not say yes?”

“This isn’t about whether or not it’s worth it, Julie. You’re unhappy because of me. You’re fighting with your friends because of me. I don’t know if I want to be worth it if it means you’re just going to be isolated!”

No. No, this is not what she wanted to hear. She wanted the opposite. She wanted Luke and Julie, Julie and Luke, the two of them against the world, the two of them against heaven and earth. 

“No, Luke-” He starts climbing off of her bed, and the both of them know he could just poof out, but there is a point to be made here. “Luke, please don’t go. I don’t know how you don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“You make me happy!” It shocks the both of them how her voice raises two octaves through her now falling tears. “You could never make me unhappy, ever. You are one of the only things that makes me happy. And I don’t care if you cross over tomorrow, because I have you now, and that’s what makes me happy!”

Luke remains six feet away from her, staring at her with confliction in his eyes that she never wanted to see in a discussion about the two of them. 

“But- But if you don’t feel the same way,” she whimpers, “if you don’t want to try… Then that’s fine.”

It’s not. It’s not fine, she’ll be heartbroken, more heartbroken than if he crossed over then and there. 

But it’s looking like she doesn’t have a choice -- until Luke poofs across the six foot distance and is finally swiping his thumbs across her cheeks, looking down at her like he’s about to cry himself. 

“I want to try every day,” he hisses into the air between them. “Every time I see you, every time I look at you -- of course I want to try. But I don’t want there to be an issue if we do. I don’t want it to cause more problems.”

“It won’t,” she shakes her head in between his hands. “It won’t. Please. Please, just… Tell me it’s worth it to you.”

His forehead is soft and impossibly warm as he tilts his head down to press against hers; and she brings her hands up to wrap them around his wrists. She wants his hands to stay there, she wants to feel him, she wants him to love her.

As Luke leans in, right before he finishes the journey to her lips, he whispers it: “It’s worth my life, Julie.”

[sapphirelass]

I’ll be by your side - Remus LupinxDaughter

Hi!! Wooow I’m a slow writer XD To be fair though, I am graduating in June, so there’s...quite a lot to do. Anyhow, this is part 3 of my imagine deal? so I’d recommend reading that one and part two first. Remus is my favourite HP character, so this mainly focuses on the relationship between him and his daughter, but I guess it’s slight HarryxOC as well ;)

Deal? (Part 1) | Oh, darling... (Part 2) | I’ll be by your side (Part 3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count: ≈ 2200

Warnings: Battle of Hogwarts, Angst, Blood, Death :(

Enjoy! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“But, dad! You can’t go yourself and then expect me not to come along!”

“Yes, Bree, I can, and I will!”

He was desperate to go join the rest of the Order, and searched frantically for his old coat.

“Bu-”

“Darling, listen, this is not your fight, okay? You’re staying with Tonks and Teddy this time, and I’ll-”

She had grabbed his coat and was holding it behind her back, out of her father’s reach.

“DAD!!”

Remus stopped for a moment and took a proper look at his daughter for the first time since receiving the message about the upcoming battle.

“Look, I’m seventeen years old. I’m an adult now, and most of my younger friends are fighting. There’s literally no reason for me not to!”

“There is a perfectly good reason and you know that! Besides, your age is completely irrelevant! It wouldn’t matter if you were fifteen or seventeen, twenty or thirty, I don’t want you fighting!”

His voice was stern, which admittedly wasn’t too uncommon, but it lacked the normal comedic undertone and not even a ghost of a smile could be seen on his face. This did make Breanna feel quite uncomfortable, but she was not giving up. She couldn’t leave everyone else and just sit quietly on the sidelines. Surely he understood that, right?

“Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not your choice to make. I know you don’t like it, but I’m going.”

She gave her father his coat and picked a jumper for herself, but stopped abruptly when approaching the front door. Remus had stepped in front of her, and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Please, darling… I can’t have you injured again - or worse! Stay.”

“Dad, I promised you two years ago that I would pick my fights more wisely. We made a deal. And I am choosing this one.”

“Breanna, it’s not the same! Seeing you hurt back then caused me more pain than you could possibly imagine, but this will be worse. Far worse. An-”

“Don’t you think I know that?” It wasn’t her intention to snap at him, but they didn’t have time for this argument. People were waiting. “I know it’s for real this time, it most definitely was two weeks ago, but I honestly thought you would have more faith in me. I’m not five, okay?!”

“Bree, don-”

She pulled out of his embrace, tied her shoes and apparated. Leaving him in the middle of an argument like that broke her heart. She knew the chances of them both making it out alive were low, unharmed close to none. They did, however, not have a choice. There was no time to waste. Voldemort could be attacking the castle this very moment, and Harry, Dumbledore’s army and the rest of the Order would need all the help they could get…

~~~

Breanna ran down the stairs, desperately searching for any familiar faces, and eventually spotted one she had really longed to see.

“Harry!!”

He turned at the sound of his name and smiled - really smiled - when their eyes met. They weren’t more than a few feet away from each other, and it didn’t take long before they met in the middle.

“Bree! You alright?” They hugged each other tightly and enjoyed the feeling of safety, if only for a few seconds. “What happened to your arm?”

She followed his gaze and found her sleeve torn and shoulder covered in blood. It wasn’t too bad though, she hadn’t even noticed it before Harry pointed it out.

“I-I don’t know, it’s fine. How are you feeling?”

He looked down at her and used a bloodied and scarred hand to push some of her hair behind her ear. He wanted to say “fine”, but it would have been a lie.

“Scared”, he admitted, “But also ready. Let’s finish this, once and for all?”

She nodded. “You’re right! How can I help?”

“Well, some people are trying to evacuate all the younger students through the room of requirement, think you could lend them a hand?”

“Sure! Good luck Harold, see you!”

He shook his head at the nickname, but smiled nonetheless.

“Right, good luck. And Bree?”

“Yeah?”

“Stay alive, will you?”

“I’ll do my best on one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“You do the same”

He gave her a nod before continuing up the stairs.

“And Harry, we don’t have time for the full story, but if you run into my dad, let him know I’m sorry, will you?”

~~~

Sure, Breanna loved Hogwarts, it was her second home, but this was proper chaos! Most of the younger kids were finally safe, but the battle was far from won. There were death eaters everywhere. She stumbled behind suit of armor, narrowly avoiding a flash of red light, and suddenly remembered something her dad had said the other night:

“It is the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers”

She knew it was meant to work as motivation, but thinking about it now just made her feel sad. How could she be so stupid? She fought her way through the corridors, but after turning a corner, she found herself facing an empty hallway. A chill went down her spine as the booming voice of Lord Voldemort could be heard all throughout the grounds. He was ordering his followers to back down, hoping to get Harry to come directly to him. Great! Now she had two people to find before it was too late...

~~

Entering the great hall this time felt nothing like it had almost seven years ago. There were people everywhere. Students, teachers, children, former graduates and parents - all in this together, mourning, comforting and healing.

Breanna would have noticed Fred Weasley surrounded by the rest of his family. Neville and Oliver Wood carefully moving Colin Creevey out of the way. She would have seen all of them, had it not been for a certain old, brown coat in her peripheral vision.

Her world fell apart, she found herself unable to breathe and didn’t realize she had sprinted towards her father before she felt two, strong arms wrap around her. Breanna struggled and tried to push them away, but didn’t have enough strength to do so. She crumpled to the ground and was pulled into a tight embrace.

“Bree…”, a soft voice mumbled. “I’m so sorry. Can you try to breathe slower, please? Deep and easy, alright.”

She realized that someone was speaking to her, but she didn’t recognize the words. They held no meaning, almost as if he spoke a different language, or stood very far away. Breanna eventually stopped hyperventilating and tried to ease the shaking as she slowly turned to check who it was, sitting with his arms around her. Her eyes met a pair of emerald green ones.

“Harry.”, she whispered, still crying but trying to keep her focus on him. There was so much more she would have wanted to say, but she was unable to find the right words. “Please tell me.... Tell me he’s no-...”

“‘m sorry”

They sat for a few minutes before Harry picked a small vial from his pocket and asked if she’d be okay.

“Bree, I’m sorry, but I have to go. It’s not over yet.”

She took a deep breath.

“It’s fine, I get it. Go. I’d love a moment alone anyways.”

~~~

She sat by her father’s side for a while, but felt unable to look at him, not wanting to fully accept the reality of the situation. It was when the fifth person came up to her to give their condolences that she got up and left the great hall. She couldn’t take it, and besides, it should be fine. The death eaters had left.

She walked the familiar path towards the Gryffindor common room, but nothing seemed... real. It felt like a nightmare, only this time she couldn’t talk it through with her dad over a cup of tea. This time, nobody would be there to convince her it was just a bad dream.

This time, no one would wake her up…  

The very moment that thought crossed her mind, a dark chuckle shattered the otherwise eerie silence.

“Avada kedavra”

She barely had time to register Antonin Dolohov with his wand pointed in her direction before an intense flash of green light caused her world to go dark.

This time, she wouldn’t wake up.

~~~

*Darkness*

*A flicker of light*

*A flicker of... hope*

*Warmth?*

~~~

It was a weird feeling. She didn’t feel happy, but rather… at peace. She sat up slowly and let her eyes adjust to the brightness as two voices simultaneously asked:

“Bree?!”

She turned around and found herself face to face with a rather tall, red haired wizard, and a slightly older man with longer brown hair.

“Fred? Sirius?”

Fred skipped over and held out his hand, helping his younger friend to her feet. He immediately noticed her dried tears and pulled her into a tight embrace. Sirius remained a few feet away with a pained expression on his face, but was unable to stay quiet for long.

“What happened?”

Breanna pulled away and met her godfather’s worried gaze.

“I… It’s my fault. I thought all the Death Eaters had left the castle. They were waiting for Harry in the forbidden forest and I just needed some air...”

“Did Harry go?”

A couple Breanna had only seen in pictures, but knew to be James and Lily Potter, had appeared behind Sirius.

“I’m not sure. He left for Dumbledore’s office about fifteen minutes earlier. I’m sorry I didn’t even try to stop him but, with all due respect, he would have gone anyways. It’s impossible to change his mind once he decides on something.”

To her surprise, none of Harry’s parents looked very worried, but shared a smile instead.

“Don’t worry, Breanna.”, said Lily gently, “He’ll know what to do when the time comes.”

“You’ve both come so far”, added James, “Things will be fine in the end, and if they’re not fine, then it’s not the end.”

“I hope you’re both right…”, she mumbled quietly, “sorry, but is dad…?”

James smiled sadly and nodded before turning to call his old friend over, however Sirius got there first.

“Oi! Moony! Get over ‘ere.”

Remus had been discussing something not too far away, and Sirius’ comment made him chuckle as he approached the other marauders.

“Easy, Pads, you make it sound li-”

That was all he had time for, as two arms wrapped themselves tightly around his torso. He would have known who it was even without looking. He’d recognize that hug anywhere. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry, but all it took was one word.

one. single. word.

“Dad!”

A single word before hot, salty tears filled his eyes. It wasn’t possible!? He was completely lost for words. Didn’t know how to react, what to say or what to do. He just stood there, his arms wrapped around his only daughter, unable to process the fact that she was… dead. They both were.

“Dad, I’m so so so sorry! I shouldn’t have shouted, I shouldn’t have taken my anger or fear out on you and above all I shouldn’t have left!?! I… I..”

“Bree”

“And now Teddy won’t have his father-”

“Bree!!”

“And I swear I tried to find you, but I couldn’t and then it was too late and it’s all my fault a-”

“Breanna Lupin!!!”

She fell silent but didn’t let go.

“I’m s-”

“Darling, calm down! What’s done is done, alright. I still wish you hadn’t gone, especially given the apparent outcome, but I understand. Are you okay? Nothing broken?”

“No, I’m good, actually… Nothing hurts at all, but-”

“Good!” He pulled away and put his hands on her shoulders. “Would you mind letting me in on what happened?”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, not really wanting to talk about the last few hours, yet knowing she owed her father that much.

“I… I entered the great hall and saw… you. I don’t quite know what happened, I just… broke. Then Harry showed up and we just hugged, I guess?”

Lily and James looked at each other and smiled.

“Then we both left and Dolohov appeared out of nowhere and… well that’s that.”

Remus shook his head sadly, immediately understanding the true meaning of his daughter’s words. HE was duelling Dolohov earlier that night. HE lost that duel. Had he won then maybe, possibly, she would still be alive too. His fault... as always

“Remus? Rem?”, James mumbled, putting an arm around his friend’s shoulders, “It’s not your fault. You tried, and that’s the best either of us can do.”

~~~

Things didn’t go according to plan, but perhaps they were the way they were always meant to be.

Her body next to her fathers, as they rested peacefully in the great hall. Her soul next to her father, as they wandered through the deep valleys of Nangijala, awaiting the day lost friends and lovers would come join them. No matter in this life or in the next;

I’ll be by your side

~ L

Masterlist

[blueoctobass]

The link between Rylie and Prisma

At this point, the comic has made it pretty clear that those two are linked somehow… They look extremely alike, Prisma recognizes Rylie and even knows her name.

Alright so, what do we know exactly ?

I’ve made a handy relationship chart, and I even included some more people that will be talked about when elaborating the different possibilities :

So why would Prisma and Rylie look so alike ?

The main possibilities are :

They are Family

They are reincarnation of the other

A mix of both

However, we know there are at least 1000 years separating them, so direct family might be tricky, unless…. 

But we’ll get to that later.

Here’s the list of all the theories I will explore in this post :

Rylie is Prisma’s reincarnation

Rylie is Prisma’s descendant

Rylie is Prisma’s reincarnated child

Rylie is Prisma’s child

Rylie and Prisma are sisters

I won’t address the reason why Yellow wants Rylie dead and why did Amadeus do that to Prisma because we simply do not have enough informations. 

Enough rambling, time to dive.

Rylie is Prisma’s reincarnation

From the looks of it, this is the most obvious one. They look like each other, they live 1000 years apart, and reincarnation has been ‘‘confirmed’’ in canon. It’s even part of Stratoverse’s culture.

Purple states that : “I assume me, and anyone else who changed color are somehow related to the Mancer’s servants”. He doesn’t say it’s reincarnation, it could be a bloodline “curse”, but going off what we know, reincarnation is very likely. 

Upon seeing Violet, Rylie’s first reaction confirms that they looks like Purple. That could be proof enough that Rylie is also a reincarnation, except the reincarnation of a Mancer instead of a Color. 

But there’s one detail that ticks me off.

Names.

Rylie’s name reveal is pretty important. Names in gloomverse, more often than not, have meaning pertaining to their magic abilities. Rylie remained unnamed, solely known as “Assistant”, until after she got her magic. But as opposed to the Colors, this is mostly for symbolic (and comedic) purposes, as she had a name before that, and it also started with R. Meanwhile, the Colors had their name overwritten after gaining magic. 

This hasn’t been made explicit in comic yet, and sure, some gloomversians have weird names like Triangle or Pi, but that would be an enormous coincidence, wouldn’t it ? Especially for the colors whose countries have particular naming trend (for example, if Orange was their birth name, wouldn’t it be Egnaro ?). 

Virga also mentions to Yellow that Madame President “has Red, Blue, Indigo and Violet… though he goes by Purple.” so Purple did change his name, yet he kept the color naming trend. Sure they could all have decided to change name after gaining magic, but like I said, that would be a pretty big coincidence.

Let’s go back to Rylie. Her name didn’t change to Prisma after getting magic. She didn’t change color, and she didn’t change names. Prisma even calls her ‘‘Rylie’’, not Royletta or Greenwitch, but Rylie. Her preferred name. For me, this seems like a statement that she is her own individual, and not a reincarnation. 

However, her middle name is ‘‘Greenwitch’’, and Prisma is a green haired and eyed mancer, a green witch. It’s quite possibly Prisma’s last name. Maybe only that name was passed down to her ? If that’s the case, it seems more like a “they’re family” than a “they’re reincarnation” proof.

Another point is that Prisma looks very much alive and conscious, albeit trapped somewhere. For a reincarnation to happen, you would need the individual to be dead. 

TL;DR : Rylie is not Prisma’s reincarnation, because Prisma is not dead, and Rylie still has her own name.

Rylie is Prisma’s descendant

Yellow has been seen with a baby during Rylie’s nightmares, and in the most recent chapter, she is currently in labor. There’s a lot of emphasis on that baby, it would be weird if they weren’t relevant to the story somehow (see Chekhov's gun).

We don’t know the identity of the other parent yet. Violet is a good candidate, they seem worried, they have the parental stress, it could make sense. But for this theory and the next ones, we’ll say that Prisma is the parent. She literally arrives screaming about Yellow, asking about her health, clearly upset that she isn’t at her side. (And like friends pointed out, it would make Prisma a transparent, a very good pun that i love).

 We don’t know if the baby survived Amadeus’ attack. Maybe they didn’t, maybe the same thing that happened to Prisma happened to them, or maybe they got to grow up and live their life, have a family and die of old age. 

Yellow has been tracking someone’s family line. There’s a lot of generations here, probably enough to cover the lineage of someone for 1000 years. We know she’s been tracking the Colors, and she’s been looking for someone, who happens to be Rylie. She recognize her instantly. She’s shocked, she’s sad, she’s nostalgic. She’s seeing the face of an old friend for the first time in many many years, photography being a recent invention in Gloomverse. 

But after this many years, and this many generations, why would they look so alike ?

Well, Purple looks like Violet, he might be their descendant like Rylie is Prisma’s. His face didn’t change when getting magic, he still look like himself as a kid. But in his case, he is most likely a reincarnation of Violet, and thus has the same face and features, while Rylie is not a reincarnation of Prisma, just a descendant.

One thing to note : 

Yellow learn Rylie’s name (Royletta) by looking at the journal : she doesn’t recognize the name, she hesitates when saying it. The journal calls her Royletta G. Biv, and not Royletta Greenwitch Biv, so we don’t know if she would have recognized the name Greenwitch. Meanwhile, Prisma knew that her name was Rylie. She has no ways of knowing this, except if she’s been spying on her or listening to some conversations. Perhaps Amadeus can still talk to her.

TL;DR : It’s very likely that Rylie is Prisma’s descendant from the same family line that Yellow is tracking. However it doesn’t explain why they look alike.

Rylie is Prisma’s child’s reincarnation 

This theory is based of the previous one, and the arguments are mostly the same. 

The difference is that instead of being Prisma’s descendant from a bloodline perspective, she is the reincarnation of Prisma’s child, the baby Yellow was holding, but not necessarily a direct descendant.

We don’t know what happens to Yellow’s child after Amadeus is done with Prisma. He just murdered some people, why not a baby ? In her first nightmare, the dark figures turns towards Rylie and says : “Now… It’s your turn.” and she feels as if it’s addressed to her, even though it was likely aimed at Yellow and the baby. 

Yellow is still here. The baby is not. 

If the baby is dead, then they can reincarnate, and just like Purple ended up looking just like Violet, Rylie looks a lot like her past baby self’s mom, just like a daughter can looks like her mother, just like the baby would have looked if they had the chance to grow up.

Makes sense right ?

Well I have an objection. 

The Colors changed hue after gaining magic, and the fact that they reincarnate might be due to how the alphas got their magic. Harold changed color scheme when the dark overlord gave him a hat and magic that weren’t “his”, so maybe that’s what happened to the Colors ? 

Because the baby was too young to have magic, I don’t think they would have reincarnated if they died like that, without magic. 

TL;DR : While it would explain how they look so alike, we don’t know if Prisma’s child could have reincarnated when dying as a magicless baby

Rylie is Prisma’s child

The simplest solution : Rylie looks like Prisma because she’s her direct daughter. No reincarnation shenanigans going on.

But how would it possible with 1000 years separating them ? Rylie is seventeen in the comic, and we even see her parents. 

Let’s start with the 1000 years problem :

Thanks to the recent appearance of Prisma, we know that she’s not as dead as we first thought. She disappeared without a trace, but Amadeus didn’t completely destroy her. She seems stuck somewhere, a timeless space, a dream or a memory. Amadeus can hide hats in shadows, he can summon lemon kids from shadows, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hide people in those shadows. 

After making Prisma disappears, he looks towards Yellow and the baby - its their turn now.

If he can keep Prisma alive in a timeless prison for 1000 years, he can do the same for a baby ! But why free her now ? 

Petunia ask him if its not “getting harder for you to do” and his answer is not very convincing. He could be getting tired, or weaker over time, and decided that keeping a baby prisoner like that was maybe an overreaction, and let her be. 

That turned out well, didn’t it ?

And this is pure speculation, but spending this much time in a pocket dimension made by a dark overlord might have changed her appearance. It would explain why she has black hair and eyes when Prisma and Yellow don’t.

What about Rylie’s parents ? She looks like them, there’s no reason to believe they’re not her parents. Well she could be adopted, it’s common for couples to adopt a child that looks like them. And if you’ve read beta gloomverse, you might remember that Assistant’s dad tells him he’s adopted. It could be a lie, it could have been written off, but its not negligible. 

TL;DR : Rylie is Prisma’s direct child, that Amadeus kept locked away for 1000 years before letting her go and she got adopted by her current parents.

Rylie and Prisma are sisters

This one is a bit more complicated than the others, but bear with me.

Let’s start easy with : Who would be the parents ? 

In this theory, Yellow would be Rylie and Prisma’s mom, with Rylie being the baby she was holding, the little sister to Prisma. Siblings tend to look like each other, and the 1000 years difference can be explained like in the previous theory.

Alright then, who's the other parent ? Amadeus, or Hobo as we’ve come to know him. Yes I know, this is a bit crazy, but I like exploring possibilities.

So we would have this kind of Family tree !

What are my proofs then ? This is kind of a crazy looking theory ! 

Well I don’t have any, really. We know Amadeus was alive at this time period, and that Yellow knew them by name. 

Rylie has some of Amadeus features, black hair, and her eyes even turn red on occasions, like his ‘‘dark overlord form’’. Rylie and Prisma’s skin color is an intermediary between his and Yellow’s, and Prisma’s green hair show that she has ecoversian roots despite coming from Stratoverse, which confirms that Yellow could be her mom.

It would also make Rylie, Harold and Wallis siblings, which has been alluded to already. In the dreamscape, Rylie imagine them as kids, sharing a childhood, like siblings. 

As much as I think it was worth mentioning, I don’t like this theory. Mostly because it destroys the meaning of the line “We may not be bond by blood...but we’re still family... no matter what.” by dream!Wallis. It throws the message of “found family can be more important than blood family” in the garbage by making them blood family.

Also at this point, Hobo would deserves the worst father award for his very bad parenting techniques. 

TL;DR : If Rylie and Prisma were sisters with Amadeus and Yellow as their parents, the found family trope would die.

And that’s the end of it ! Thank you for reading it all, it turned out extremely long. Don’t hesitate to add stuff, theories, opinions, or corrections !

[sankyeom]

thank you for tagging me june!! i love these things, i loved reading your responses and i love you cutie @buttabomma 💛

why did you choose your url?

my ult groups used to be ateez and seventeen, and my biases are san and dokyeom! so san + dokyeom = sankyeom. i’ve thought of changing it a few times bc i no longer ult those groups but so many people know me by sankyeom so i think i won’t change it

do you have any side blogs?

this is actually a side blog! my main blog is @sankyeoms-replies

how long have you been on tumblr?

i first got tumblr in like 2015 or 2016 for when i wrote fabrication for harry potter, marvel and more. i’ve had this blog for two years now!

do you have a queue tag?

i don’t! but i want to come up with a pun from lyrics to a kpop song, something like “say queue love me” like 0x1=lovesong by txt but idk if it’s lame lol

why did you start your blog in the first place?

because wattpad, quotev and other fanfic sites don’t have the community that tumblr has! plus there’s amazing creators that make gifs and other things that don’t really exist anywhere else

also i only had 1 irl friend who listened to kpop and i needed more!! now i have lots of lovely mutuals and at least 5 irl friends who like kpop

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because i’m a giant hoe for ji changmin and he looks so damn handsome in black and white 😍

why did you choose your header?

i picked my ult bias and my most recent bias at the time!! plus changmin and heeseung have a similar vibe visually, if that makes sense? and once again, they’re so damn pretty in black and white

what’s your post with the most notes?

i think it’s my soobin fic he loves me, he loves me not! right now it’s sitting at around 1.7k notes which is literally insane, thank you guys so much 😳💗

how many mutuals do you have?

i have about 40 people that i consider my mutuals, but i’m a bit shy so i don’t talk regularly to all of them

how many followers do you have?

just over 3.5k!! once again, that’s crazy, thank you guys so much 😭😭💛

how many people do you follow?

i just checked and apparently i follow 400 people, which is a lot. i’ll probably have to go and update that soon but i do stan a lot of groups so that’s probably why! especially since i don’t just follow writers i also follow gif makers and other creators

have you ever made a shitpost?

i don’t think so

how often do you use tumblr each day?

i check my notifications really often in case i have messages or if i need to add people to a tag list, but i post less often than i check it

did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

i’ve never fought with other blogs but i’ve fought with anon hate before. i feel like the fact that some loser is taking the time to send anon hate means that i already won lol

how do you feel about those “you need to reblog this” posts?

in the context of raising awareness for social issues, i try to reblog them as long as they aren’t triggering. in terms of those posts about luck and money i just ignore them

do you like tag games?

YES !!! i love to read about other people’s lives and blogs and i love to share it with anyone who is interested in me in the same way! plus i love to be tagged 💜

do you like ask games?

even more than tag games!! especially ones about kpop songs or idols because my boyfriend likes to play along

which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

@kwanisms @chaoticdeobi @stealerz @lsangyeons @deobienthusiast @buttabomma

you guys all give famous vibes for sure i see you guys on everyone’s blogs all the time!! (also i’m a big fan of you 🥰)

do you have a crush on a mutual?

literally all of them and i hope they have a crush on me bc i’m a leo and i thrive on attention

tagging: @lsangyeons @uwu0clock @lilacdreams-00 @multihoe-net @httpsohnpouts @mochi-ficz @sunbrry if you guys are interested!! 💗

[gisachi]

hmmm i'd like to see how desperate they can be. Kiss prompts #14 for shinran, maybee? thankyou 🤟

Thank you for the request! Wanted to do a trope and this is how it turned out. Hope this is an enjoyable read. 💖

14. A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished. (2,374 words)

.

.

.

In her seventeen years of existence, Mouri Ran has never met a person as infuriating as Kudou Shinichi.

She isn’t a particularly spiteful person. In fact, she’s always so welcoming and positive. Her well-earned reputation in school as the top of her class and her father and mother being one of the best detectives and lawyers in town do not in any way inflate her ego and turn her into an arrogant prick. If any, others spite her, never the other way around. (Though no one - ever - has brought it upon themselves to hate on the ray of sunshine that is Mouri Ran.)

As nice as she may be however, Kudou Shinichi always seems to get on her nerves.

Perhaps the only thing he inherited from the world-famous but humble Kudou Yuusaku and Fujimine Yukiko are their physical attributes. Sharp jawline, charming eyes, straight nose, pearly teeth, prominent Adam’s apple, broad shoulders, lean body…in short, fine. Good-looking. Hot maybe, yes. But she cannot let just that overshadow his absolute cockiness.

For instance, Ran is grateful for people who correct her mistakes, however seldom they may happen, but everytime Shinichi does it - in front of the class, brandishing a proud smirk at the end of it all - she feels the veins on her temple pop. She never cared at first, but when done habitually (and consciously?) by the same person, an underlying urge to punch him straight on the face arises. She knows she is nice but her patience isn’t eternal.

The rational half of her tells her to ignore him, but the petty half of her screams at her to give him a taste of his own medicine. So she revels inwardly at the hooded stare he gives her back whenever she contradicts a portion of his answer in Japanese History class, and restrains her satisfied grin when she corrects his negative integers into positives on the board during Math.

The class takes the toll in this twisted brain battle, because one-on-one debates between the top two students lead to extended fourth period and lesser lunch time. On the bright side, the lazy and unprepared don’t get to recite, so they let the two be.

Their academic tension spills even to athletics. Admittedly, he’s great at soccer, no surprise for an Ace. Her attempts at scoring a goal every time he gate keeps always end in failures, but what irks her more are the deafening screams of his fangirls behind the rails and his annoying wave like he’s some celebrity, beaming proudly like she hasn’t given him a hard time. (She hasn’t.)

But if he has soccer then she has karate. His powerful leg muscles are no match for her deadly roundhouse kicks. Shinichi has begged for his life once - when she has him pinned down between her legs on the floor in front of their classmates for a test of strength. Then he hasn’t brought that up ever again. That’s her win, not that she’s counting. (But really, that’s her win.)

He breathes, she’s annoyed.

When their gaze meets in the hallway, she is tempted to hold it and see if he’ll turn away first.

When he utters her name (“Mouri-san”, husky and sonorous), she wants to utter his back with twice the spite and snark. One that can bite. Tingle. Keep him up at night.

“Sometimes I wonder if you want to kill each other or kiss each other,” her best friend Sonoko brings up during lunch, and that’s just about enough to turn Ran’s mood into sour.

“I do not want to kiss him!” she reacts in a guilty way, and coincidentally they hear a resounding “I do not want to kiss her, barou!” along the corridor, only for Makoto and a grimacing Shinichi to appear on the door frame the next second, and their eyes meet, only to look away immediately.

“Maybe it’s you and Kyougoku-san who want to kiss each other,” Ran says bitterly, attempting to get back at her friend upon seeing her and Makoto exchange knowing glances.

“Mm, yeah maybe we do.” Sonoko grabs a bite of tamago sushi from her bento. Ran rolls her eyes.

“What? At least I’m being honest,” she chides, but Ran is already too engrossed glaring (rather salaciously, in Sonoko’s opinion) back at Shinichi to hear her or even notice her being an audience to their subtle eye makeout.

What do the other girls see in him? He’s a conceited, competitive brat who likes to pit with her for the fun of it. Sonoko says he’s not as annoying as she makes him out to be, which is about the only time she doubts herself because Sonoko does get annoyed easily. But Ran sees Shinichi in the hallway and she recalls the shameless bites and banters and sparring bruises and classroom debates and yep, her blood boils for this lad.

On Valentine’s Day, Ran makes chocolate.

More like, she helps her mother make one for her dad. For everyone’s sake and their stove’s. Since there are excess ingredients, why not? She doesn’t know for whom and why though, she just makes it.

(“Oh, you have a boy in mind?” “None, kaa-san.” “Let me guess, Yukiko-san’s son?” “NO!”)

She’s greeted by girls pooling outside the classroom. Sneaking a peek at the tag of a daintily wrapped box one of the underclassmen holds, she isn’t surprised to read Kudou Shinichi’s name on it. The subject appears behind her, and the girls line up and squeal in glee, and he greets them all while she huffs, not sparing a second look at the commotion as she makes a beeline for her seat.

She doesn’t understand why he always ends up alone with her after class when they both know that’s not the best idea. Their homeroom teacher just cannot read the atmosphere, because this is the third time he’s designated the two as class reps for student affairs work. This time, it’s a campus tour for visiting students. She hates it because she and Shinichi can never agree on anything.

“I’ll sketch the route, you do the tour,” she says.

“No, you do the hosting, I do the planning,” he counters.

“Aren’t you better at talking?” Ran sneers, remembering the chaos of fangirls and all annoying flowery words he’s probably said back. “Or don’t tell me it’s just the confidence and charm overcompensating for the lack of substance?”

“I can plan and I can host well, but I do the planning now ‘cause I did the talking in our presentation last time while you rested at the back and let me do the bulk of the task but thanks,” he rises from his seat and leans his body on the desk next to her, “for thinking that I’m charming.”

“I didn’t— I wasn’t—!” Ran’s cheeks heat up in fury or embarrassment or both. “I’m just saying this task is the best time to utilize your charisma!”

“But aren’t you charismatic yourself, Mouri-san? As expected from the daughter of a lawyer mother and a detective father?”

“No- I mean, yes, whatever, but we need charm and-”

“And I have it? What do I say? Is this your roundabout way of making me admit that you’re charming too?”

“I wouldn’t do anything like that, baka!”

He holds her challenging gaze, long and hard.

“In any case, I refuse. I plan the routes.”

“No, I plan the routes, you do the talk. No ifs. No buts.”

“This is just a simple assignment, Mouri-san! Why can’t we agree for once?” he snaps, stepping forward.

“Exactly! This is just a simple task, Kudou-kun! Why do you have to be so overbearing?” She steps forward.

“I am not overbearing. You are!”

“No, you are! You’re the hardest to deal with! I can’t even stand being near you! You’re the absolute worst! You’re—”

And then he’s hovering over her, sealing her lips shut with his own.

It happens lightning fast. He's in a respectful distance one second and then he’s hogged all her space and claimed her lips the next. Her heart rate has already gone up at the start of the bicker but now it’s literally flown off the charts.

“Kudou-kun—!” Ran gasps when her back hits the wall of the classroom, disconnecting their lips for a second. “I’m... not done...speaking—”

“And we’re not done kissing,” Shinichi angles his head for another searing kiss and that is enough to turn Ran into a puddle of melted flesh in his arms. Doomed they will be if students outside the window look up their floor and catch her back pressed suspiciously against the glass with his body the only thing keeping her upright. She can only pray they won’t. Because she doesn’t push him away.

Maybe she doesn’t care so much about being seen? Or maybe she doesn’t have the mind to think of anything else when his scent and his taste and his touch take over her senses and it still isn’t enough. This she realizes as her hands cup his warm cheeks to deepen the pressure of their connected lips, both red and swollen from the fiery mutual exchange. She kisses him with no intention of stopping. She kisses him like she’s making up for the moments her subconscious wanted to but didn’t. The tightening arms around her waist and desperate push of tongue in her are all she needs to understand that Shinichi must be thinking the same thing.

(“Mouri-san,” he sighs in her mouth. “Mm, Kudou-kun,” comes her lush reply.)

Only when she feels herself blacking out from lack of oxygen - or the fact that she feels hands untucking the hem of her school uniform from her skirt - does she unconsciously push his chest away, giving them an inch of space.

Stunned and breathless, they separate with the thought that what they share may have been too much for a first kiss. Achievers always aim for too much; anything less and they die. Too much is always too good.

For a first kiss, theirs is pretty characteristic.

“Huh.” She utters low. Any sound will do to kill the awkward silence that has stretched on for too long.

“Well.” He speaks, a little strained, but coughs his throat clear and gets himself together. “If you may...continue with what you’re saying, Mouri-san.”

For someone who’d just kissed her heatedly in an empty classroom in the middle of an argument and was so close to successfully getting his hands under her shirt, Ran is pretty impressed at how he manages to remain courteous in addressing her.

“Y-You’re the absolute worst,” arms still wrapped around his neck, she begins, but doesn’t remember what she’s supposed to say next. All coherent thought has flown out the window when his lips meet hers five minutes ago. She has no choice but to rely on the power of impromptu speech. Like Shinichi said, she’s good at that, kind of. He can probably hear her pulse palpitating on her wrist as she speaks.

“You’re...You’re such an airhead and you think so highly of yourself just because you have so many fangirls. Kuroba-kun or Hattori-kun from the other class are better and much more handsome than you, would you believe? You’re not the only charming guy in this school, Kudou-kun! And you don’t have to correct my flimsy academic mistakes in front of the class for a moment of schadenfreude, damn it! You annoy me to no end! I was this close to giving you my chocolate but good thing I didn’t because you know what? You’re annoying. Truly. You’re so full of yourself and I don’t like you for that and, y-you’re annoying and...and gods I hate you so much I’ll kiss you to death—”

She’s ready to tiptoe but his hands on her waist hold her still.

“What?!” she snaps, not sure where she’s more pissed at, the guy she’s about to kiss or the guy she’s about to kiss stopping her from kissing him again.

(A third option is herself but she’s already established her seething self-loathe when she chose to kiss him back.)

“I-I should be asking that, Mouri-san, what?” he stammers over her lips. “I... Give me your chocolate.”

Ran blinks, partly confused, partly surprised. She tries to comprehend how that is a proper response to whatever she just said (which by now, she’s already forgotten - or at least, in the process of forgetting).

“Give me your chocolate and I’ll eat it even though the chocolates I make with mom surely taste better but I’ll take what you made for me anyway. Don’t even get me started about how much I think it’s funny that you’re thinking about me as you make your chocolate, I mean, wow, there’s always that possibility, but still, wow. I-” he catches his breath, continues, “I’ll give you a better one on White Day. So please give me your chocolate.”

She doesn’t know what to make of the string of words that spew right out his mouth, but she can feel her face tightening to a grimace. Surely now, she knows she’s better at impromptu speech than him.

“You really expect me to give you my chocolate after you insult me? Wow, you really are an ass!” she shouts, as if she hasn’t mocked him the same.

“An ass who’s rejected every single chocolate given him except for one,” he says. His gaze locks her eyes, then her lips, then her eyes again. “And he’s even begging for that one chocolate, how ridiculous is that.”

Ran holds her breath, feels her face burn from his blazing irises.

“You don’t say-”

“I do say.”

His lips twist mischievously, too handsome for her heart to take.

“And you did say something else a while ago. Something equally interesting.” He cranes his head lower. “You said you hate me to death?”

Ran feels her toes tipping to balance.

“...Yes,” she lets go of his nape, hands sliding down to the plane of his chest and crumpling his shirt in her fists. “I hate you so, so much.”

“Oh by all means,” he leans in to swoop her lower lip gently between his teeth, smirks as he pulls it for a soft tug, “hate me all you want.”

.

.

.

[devil-in-those-eyes]

One Day Part 2- Rudy Pankow

GUYS, I am SO sorry. I didn't think it would take me this long to get to part two, and I would have finished it yesterday, had I not lost my documents to do with this story, so I actually lost a few people that wanted to be tagged, so if you find it and you’re not there, please message me and I will get you added. This part isn't what I originally wanted, I wanted more added but I didn't want to overload you guys, so it’ll be continued in the next part. 

I hope you guys love this part.

Taglist: @thebendslikebendover @awkwardnesshabitat @dpaccione @danicarosaline @infinityspacesuniverse @pogues-never-say-die @poguescollins  @collectiveuniverses @jjmaybankx @diorsfxck @1d5sosddl @k-k0129 @popcrone818 

~

           “You literally promised.”

           “Something came up,” you tried again, looking up from your plate of food and at Henning, who had stolen a chair from a table that an older couple was sitting at and made room for himself as you sat at a little café with Kennedy, Zoe and Jamie for breakfast.

           “Something came up?” Henning echoed, leaning his elbow on the arm rest and leaned closer to you. “You promised me and Jamie you’d come.”

           You did promise him and you couldn’t deny it, but you also couldn’t tell him the real reason why you were suddenly going back on your word. The Pankow’s were having their yearly family cookout and they always extended the offer to you, despite the break up because they adored you. This year, when Jamie and Henning begged you to come, you agreed. Except, when you agreed Rudy wasn’t home. And you two didn’t have an argument on the back porch of Jamie’s cabin.

           There was no way in hell you could go, but again you couldn’t tell Henning that his older brother was the reason why. To Henning, Rudy was absolutely everything. Rudy and Alec were idolized in his eyes, they were the reason the sun shined and the moon and stars came out at night. To you, Henning was still the little kid that ran around pulling your hair and annoying, granted he still actually did it, he didn’t fully understand what happened or why and you didn’t expect him too. You kept him in the dark because it didn’t concern him and you didn’t want to make him feel like he had to pick sides when you were still showing up to his soccer matches and joining Jamie and Penny and Andrew to his high school graduation. He was too young when you and Rudy broke each others hearts and he never experienced love like what was between you and Rudy, he just wouldn’t get it.

           “I just can’t,” you said, lifting your coffee and taking a sip.

           “Y/N, we live in freaking Alaska,” he said in a bored groan, “you work for your mom and dad, what could possibly have come up since two nights ago?”

           “Henning, I just can’t,” you said, your voice a little loud. You closed your eyes briefly before turning your eyes onto Henning and you instantly saw Rudy in him. They couldn’t be more opposite, but he did the same thing Rudy used to do when you guys fought.

           His jaw clenched, as if pushing his tongue against his teeth, before slowly dragging his eyes up to look at you, filled with disappointment. He was looking at you the same way that Rudy looked at you at the party. “Fine, Y/N.”

           You sighed as he pushed the chair back, “Henning, wait.”

           But he was gone, walking away in easy and long strides, heading towards his car. Your chest caved in on itself because you hated disappointing Henning.

           “Y’know that Penny and Andrew are doing it for Rudy, right?” Jamie said softly, to your right. You looked at him to see him lifting his mug, “Penny would be upset if you bailed, especially since she asked if you’d come.”

           If Jamie wanted to jab a little harder and add a little guilt trip into it, then adding about Penny was the freaking way to do it. You all but groaned at his words as the guilt suddenly washed over you.

           You were totally aware that Penny would be upset if you bailed. You were also aware that it was for Rudy, you just didn’t know it when Jamie and Henning asked you to be there.. You didn’t know that Penny and Andrew were planning it in celebration for their son in the beginning, but now you could see it clearly. You also knew Penny would be upset if you didn’t show your face. Penny was like the mother of all mothers, in everyone’s eyes she was perfect. She was the one anyone could tell anything too, she was your mom when yours wasn’t picking up the phone. She had all but adopted Jamie when he and Rudy met in elementary school. She opened her arms wide when Rudy came home and announced you were his girlfriend and she kept those arms open when you broke up.

           Penny and Andrew never made you feel awkward, or as if their son was better off without you. She was always warm and had a colorful aura about her, it was like she ignored the heart break you felt because all she wanted to do was act like the break up never happened. Sometimes you wondered if she was still silently rooting for you and Rudy and it made it harder, because you had to stop wishing for it.

           “Jamie,” you started but then stopped yourself, looking down at your food. In all actuality, you didn’t know if you could see Rudy after two nights ago. It brought back too many feelings, too many memories and for some reason, you just couldn’t shake him, even years later.

           Why would you subject yourself to it? Subject yourself to his judgmental eyes as he questioned your taste in men? He couldn’t judge, or speak on who you decided to date because it wasn’t his concern, he made it perfectly clear the type of friendship he wanted to keep with you. And that was the type of friendship that never spoke.

           “You don’t even have to speak to Rudy,” Kennedy tried, trying to smile but failed miserably.

           “What the hell, yes she does. It’s his party, dumbass.” Zoe argued before looking at me, “Listen, pull on those big girl panties and just go, for Penny.”

           Zoe’s jab about quit being a pussy was softened by bringing up Penny, almost made you smile. Nothing bad could come out of going, right? Alec was finally home and you hadn’t seen him in years, it would make your week to see Penny and Andrew. And who knows, maybe Rudy will be so busy with talking with family and entertaining Chase that he wouldn’t even notice you there.

           All you had to do was go, show your face to his parents, shove it in Henning’s face and stay for an hour. Tops. Then you can retreat back to your safe haven of a home and pretend like you were well on your way with moving on from Rudy.

           Lying to yourself will get you no where.

           You ignored the little voice in your head and said softly, “Fine.”

           Jamie and Zoe looked all too smug that they had guilted you into it. Kennedy just sat there, raising her glass of water to her mouth, using her swallow of water to hide her smile. She might not have done as much as the other too, but she sure as shit was happy you’d be there.

           While they went on with their conversation, talking about what they wanted to do this summer as a group, besides work and prepare for an upcoming final year of school. While this happened, you sat there silently and couldn’t help but start to feel like the world was sinking around on you.

           What good would this bring you? Zoe and Kennedy understood where you stood with your feelings on Rudy, but for some freaking reason they were pushing and you didn’t understand what they were pushing for. Were they that blind, did they honestly believe Rudy would somehow stay longer than a week? Or two weeks? No, he wouldn’t. His life was now in California and yours was here, thousands of miles away. You were living separate lives and it was too different to pull off long distance… right?

           Typically, summer days went quickly for you. It had a lot to do with the fact that you were either working or with your group of friends finding things to do, but today just seemed to drag on. You were stuck inside your head and couldn’t get out, wondering how tonight would go with Rudy somewhere nearby, your stomach was constantly swirling with nervous butterflies, heart thumping heavily as you slowly pulled up to the Pankow residence. Hands trembled and knees shook as you parked your car among the others that littered the street.

           Just breathe.

           It wasn’t like Rudy would be upset that you were going to show your face. It wasn’t like you and Rudy left Jamie’s porch angry at one another, in fact you heard the pain inside his voice and saw the sadness drowning his blue ocean eyes. You saw the way his eyes avoided you, could barely look at you as Tucker wrapped his arms around your shoulders, as if he could barely stomach the idea of you being with someone that wasn’t him.

           Rudy being home threw you off so deeply that you hadn’t really talked with Tucker the last few days. You’ve been so stuck in the memories and living in the world of what if that Tucker hadn’t been on your mind, but he didn’t seem to mind. You and Tucker weren’t officially together, he wasn’t your boyfriend, you two were just dating and having fun. Or attempting to have fun.

           Just breathe.

           The backyard of the Pankow residence was swimming with people. Lots of them you recognized from his family, his uncles and aunts and cousins and family friends, teachers that Rudy had bonded deeply with. But no where did you find the familiarity of Zoe’s deep green eyes, or Kennedy’s blonde hair, of Jamie’s laugh that seemed to calm you as you stood, sticking out like a sore thumb.

           You wiped your sweaty palms over the thighs of your ripped jeans, tugging your light sweater closer to your chest, looking around for them.

           A blur of short, light colored hair and blue dress moved around you but then whirled around after seemingly catching sight of you.

           “Well, well, look who decided to grace me with her presence.” Penny teased, coming to a stop in front of you while carrying a big bowl of salad.

           Your cheeks flamed as she grinned at you. “Hi, Penny.”

           “Aren’t you a sight,” she said, taking you in. “You aren’t the skinny little seventeen year old anymore, are ya?”

           “Oh, god, please stop.” You groaned, your hand covering your cheek, attempting to stop the blush. You hated when she did this, giving compliment after compliment when she saw you. You didn’t think you changed too much since seventeen, but apparently you did. You gained a few pounds, thank you college, hair longer and better choices in clothing.

           Penny laughed and stepped towards you, “Bring it in, hon.”

           Penny balanced the bowl on her hip and opened an arm wide, you couldn’t help yourself in feeling giddy. You always loved Penny. You had a great relationship with your parents, but Penny was Penny, and the idea of seeing her smiling at you was part of the reason why you got out of your car.

She rubbed your back and pulled away, “You’re not leaving this house until we catch up, so have some wine and food and I’ll find you.”

           “Deal,” you promised her and watched as she walked away.

           For the first time all day, your lungs opened up and a steady breath filled your body. It released in a heavy puff, but you finally felt somewhat comfortable being here. Now, all you had to do was find your friends.

           “They’re in the kitchen.”

           You nearly fell over by the sudden voice that appeared behind you, startling you and making you whirl around to find Rudy standing there, with his hands in the front pockets of his light jeans. Your heart screamed at you as one hand reached up and slid through his hair and rested on the back of his neck, “Kennedy and Zoe dragged Jamie inside to make margaritas… that’s who you’re looking for, right?”

           He looked so handsome in his jeans and white button up shirt, that was tucked into the waist of his jeans. You felt your heart thump to a soft murmur of his name. Rudy.

           “Why am I not surprised?” you said, finally finding your voice.

           “Yeah, apparently Zo and Kenn don’t like beer?” He asked, “and my aunt brought long island mix and that’s out of the question?”

           As Rudy spoke, your face twisted into a grimace and your stomach twisted. Rudy smiled immediately at your face and you said, “We learned real quick at college that long islands are not our thing.”

           “Yeah, Zo said something about snow angels in the dead ass of winter?” Rudy said, seeming to get rid of nervous tension in his shoulders and relaxing as he looked down at you, still grinning.

           “Listen, the bartender was really nice but we didn’t know that those contain every liquor on shelf.” You defended, remembering the first winter break you guys had come home from college and ended up at a bar outside of town where the bartender didn’t card. “It didn’t hit us until Jamie and Collin tried getting us home.”

           Rudy chuckled lowly, “god, what a sight that probably was.”

           “I don’t actually remember doing the snow angels, but I woke up shivering and throwing up, massive hangover.”

           This time, Rudy’s laugh was loud and you suddenly felt a swell inside your chest that resembled proud. Proud that you made him laugh like you used too, the type of laugh that had his head tilting back and his eyes closing briefly. He looked back down at you and shook his head, “Baby-” Rudy caught himself, quickly recovering, “Y/N, come on. You shouldn’t have trusted the bartender.”

           You almost didn’t catch it, but you were paying such close attention to him that it was clear as day. The last few minutes felt too closely to old times that it showed you he still hadn’t broken the habit of calling you baby, you almost begged him to say it again, just to hear it roll off of his tongue.

           The idea of hearing it again had you blushing and looking down. You cleared your throat before lifting your head and motioning to Rudy’s porch, “In the kitchen?”

           Silently, still watching you, he nodded. You moved around him and started making your way inside. Rudy followed you, and suddenly you went from being calm to your palms sweating, all because he called you baby.

           Your friends were where he said, standing in a corner of the kitchen next to the blender. Jamie stood with Rudy’s friend, Chase, with beers in their hands while the two girls looked excited for the mixed drinks, a bottle of Patron sat next to the blender.

           Kennedy was the first to see you and a broad grin broke out on her face, “Best friend!”

           You laughed as Zoe’s head whipped around, her arms widening at the sight of you. “Bestie!”

           “Friends!” You exclaimed excitedly and left Rudy, bouncing towards your friends and giving Zoe a tight hug, despite just seeing them this morning.

           “Good lord, we just saw her,” Jamie said as you let go of Zoe and faced Jamie. You felt less nervous as you were surrounded by your three friends, despite Rudy took the spot between you and Chase. You reached and grasped either side of Jamie’s face and planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Yeah, yeah, get off.”

           Despite telling you to get off, Jamie’s arm wrapped around your waist. You laughed and smiled at him, “Good to see you, Jamie.” You said as his arm finally unraveled and rolled his eyes. You finally took your spot between Rudy and Zoe again, your arm accidently brushing against Rudy’s warm skin and almost halting you, but then you felt the light glide of his fingers through the sweater and shirt, against your lower back.

           “You must be Y/N,” Chase said, turning his eyes onto you.

           “Hi,” You said, giving him a smile, which only made his warm one grow. “Chase, right?”

           He nodded, “Nice to finally meet you. Rudy’s told me a lot about you.”

           You almost groaned with a slight grimace, “good things?”

           Chase grinned, “great things.”

           You slowly lifted your eyes to look at Rudy, and could have sworn that his cheeks had gone pink but he covered it up by lifting his beer and taking a sip. He didn’t meet your eyes and you felt a small twinge of disappointment, so while your friends went on to make plans for hiking tomorrow, you faced them and tried to engage in the conversation about wanting to show Chase around.

           Rudy slowly leaned in, his heat filling up your side as his mouth dropped to your ear. “How could I not talk about you?” He whispered, making your heart stop inside your chest. When he pulled back a few inches you tilted your head to look at him, no smile or humor filled his face. His bright eyes were just watching you, taking in your eyes and blushing cheeks, pausing to look at your parted lips while the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip.

           “I always talk about you,” he whispered again, finally drawing his eyes up to yours.

           It was like you could hear his heart pound with two words. One Day.

[moonscriptsx]

WRITING MASTERLIST:

UPDATED AS OF: 9/01/23

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