#it's fully planned so it's not like i borrowed anything from the season itself

[gayformlessblob]

in the interest of whatever that panel was, can i interest the nandermo fans in my s5 fic where guillermo stays a vampire and he and nandor fuck by episode 4

(now updated with small in-credits scenes and an author that's actively working on it again)

it started as me wanting to predict it before it came out but now it's me writing in spite because i don't trust the writers very much . also if i have the time and motivation i will for sure make a s6

[saundraswriting]

Interior Design Chapter 2: Arrival

SUMMARY:You get to the Compound. You get a run down of what you are begin offered. You get the promised tour and meet-N-greet, and make a fool of yourself. But this is your dream job.

WARNINGS: NONE

NOTES:This is an everyone lives/no one dies, Living in the compound, Non Civil War compliant, No Sokovian Accords AU.

Previous / Next

At exactly 2pm a broad man with some facial hair opened the door to the car that had just pulled in front of you. "Ms. L/N. I am your driver, call me Happy. I am to drive you upstate to the Compound." He helped you in and tucked your bags into the trunk.

"Hello then, Happy. Call me Y/N. Thank you for the ride." You were trying to hide your nerves behind your manners.

"There are drinks back there if you want. Beyond that sit back and relax." Happy said pulling into the never-ending rush of traffic. You sat quiet, prepared for the slow-moving endeavor that was driving through NYC but Happy moved through alleys and side streets to move through and around the traffic, having seemed to memorizer the traffic light timing. It was impressive.

"Are you sure that you don't have some sort of driving enhancements?" You asked your companion.

"No. I just have spent too many years running errands for Mr. Stark." Happy said. He looked up at you through the rear-view mirror. "Not that you are an errand or anything."

"Happy, that is exactly what I am. Thank you though. I am not exactly on Mr. Stark's priority list to have him come and see me." You tried to ease his concern. You turn to look out the window and gape, Happy had some how driven you out of the city and on your way truly to the Avenger's Compound. You wanted to push on the Driving enhancement but kept it to yourself.

"Oh my. I am really going. I'm doing this." You muttered to yourself.

"Y/N, they are just people. Yes, super enhanced or gifted but still people. People who want a place where they can be themselves. You see superheroes? I see tired people with super burdens." Happy said. "Now, relax."

Happy's  advice helped significantly to calm you down. It was something to remember, you were helping them make their house a home. Someplace for them to turn off. You pulled out your tablet and pulled up your designing program to open a new project. You had a kitchen, living room, media room and about a dozen bedrooms in the project. The rooms were customizable to an extent but you chose to work with what was provided. It was simple but effective to help plan layouts of things. You added comments on each room of things you would need to look at or plan for. The kitchen and pantry needed to support the massive appetites that the team would have and each bedroom needed to be assigned for better focus. You did layout some basic things like beds and end tables such. You knew everyone would like it different, but you figured the rooms would be almost exactly the same build. After about 90 minutes of basic fiddling you saved it.

"Y/N, we are just about there. I believe in you. The idea of what you need to do seems scary and overwhelming but you'll figure everything out in time." Happy said. The car pulled onto a hidden road and you watched as it followed the curves and bends as a gate rose up to meet them. Happy pulled into what seemed the front of the building and helped you out of the car and grabbed your bags.

The two of you entered the empty foyer. "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you tell Pep and Tony we're here? And do you know where Ms. L/N will be staying?" Happy spoke to the open room.

"I already did. They are on the way. Ms. L/N is located in room 12." A disembodied Irish voice rang out.

"Well, you heard the robot lady. I'll leave you here for Tony and Pepper. I will drop your bags off. F.R.I.D.A.Y, introduce yourself. Y/N, it was a pleasure meeting you." Happy took your bags and headed off down the hall leaving you alone and nervous.

"Ms. L/N, I am F.R.I.D.A.Y. I am a artificial intelligence system designed and maintained by Tony Stark. I run the Living Areas for the Avengers and the Iron Man Suits." The voice spoke once more. You looked around for a camera or speaker to speak to but couldn't find one so you looked to the ceiling.

"Oh, nice to meet you Ms. F.R.I.D.A.Y. Please call me Y/N." You told the ceiling.

"Very well, Ms. Y/N. Welcome to the Avenger's Compound." She responded.

Oh, good you two already met. You turned at the voice of Tony Stark.

"Come on, we can continue this in my office." A willowy red-head was with him, who you correctly assumed to be Pepper Potts.

The three of you walked to her office while making small talk. Tony asked about your education and where you came from. You told them about your suspicions of Happy's driving enhancements. The two others laughed and Tony agreed with you. When you finally arrived at Pepper's office, you sat in front of it, her behind it and Tony leaned against it.

"This is going to be a quick as I can make it but there is a lot to cover. First, the contract is a long-term non-exclusive for your benefit. This is just to start, if you chose to extend it then we would make you a permanent employee. You will have to sign Non-Disclosure agreements since you will be dealing directly with the Avengers. You will have the time and means to work with you current and future clientele like I said before. Your current place of living is also your center of operations but we could move all that here for you if you would rather. The contract itself is for the initial decorating for the personal and common living areas for the Avengers. Then also the major holidays and change in seasons or trends or any requests of the Avengers. We would also have you on for light  maintenance and housekeeping mostly for when the Avengers aren't around, like vacuuming and changing a lightbulb. if you see something in disrepair either fix it, put in a work order or order new. We do have a team for more particular fixes, and the team takes care of a lot on their own as it." Pepper explained. You nodded along and made some jotted down some notes.

"What about supplies? Payment? Limitations? Labor?" You asked. Pepper smiled slightly, secretly pleased at your questions, you were thinking, that was good.

"We pay for everything. You have full rein, there are no limitations. Pardon the rooms, that is where you would work with each resident. WE are at your beck and call for anything you would need help with." Tony took over the explanation. "I will be completely honest. I want you to accept this contract, move in entirely and then extend your contract to be a permanent employee. I want that because I like you and I know that everyone else will but we can revisit that later." Tony said. Pepper handed over a copy of the contract. you placed it in your bag and jotted down Tony's comments

"Alright, then I will review this tonight and think about it. I don't like to make decisions in haste but I will tell you that I have no doubts about this. I am attracted to every single part of this including moving in fully. I only am worried about how I would get to and from the city, I make a lot of trips." You told them.

"So do we. Most days we make a trip to the city. But you can always borrow a car and head in. The Tower is SI's still you can park there and do your thing. A minor detail." Tony said. You nodded and shrugged, it was a minor detail. "Now we are going to go. I want to show you around and have you meet one or two people. I will be your personal tour guide while Ms. Potts runs my company." Tony pushed off of the desk and you took it as your cue to go. You held a hand out to Ms. Potts.

"Thank you Ms. Potts. I am grateful for the opportunity." You followed Tony out the door waving to the already busy woman as you left.

You followed Tony to the elevator and down several hallways. He talked a mile a minute about everything, you weren't even trying to keep up. You were sure he just liked to hear himself talk. You tried to learn the layout but you weren't sure. It seemed that the common areas he was leading you to were in the center of the right side of the 'A'. The personal areas seemed to stack on top of that point fanning out.

"So the first level is mostly common areas. Gym and pool and such, the living room, kitchen, pantry the size of a small country, all are down here. Then the next level is the second level is rooms, they kind of fan away from the common areas in groups of 5. The all lead to the small inclines that meet around the living room...like a funnel?" Tony tried to explain.

"Oh, so everything is connected but also has its definition? Good idea to help go from mission to home mentality." You commented. Tony snapped his fingers.

"I knew I like you. Sorry it is a little bit of a walk, Pepper's office is on the SI side, near SHIELD. We are almost there." Tony said. You nodded. "I also had F.R.I.D.A.Y put better more accurate blueprints on your tablet and laptop. So you can better plan. I figured then you can use your app to better prepare the rooms." Tony seemed hesitant. You wanted to be mad but it actually was a help more than a hinderance.

"I don't mind. That helps a lot, but maybe next time ask?" You said. Tony seemed to relax. You knew that he had your entire history but you knew that Tony wanted to help his team and protect them so you weren't upset that much about the privacy invasion.

"Very well. Now, your domain ma'am is everything you see before you. Welcome to the Avenger's Living Quarters Ms. Quartermaster L/N!" Tony waved his arm in a large sweeping motion. You were facing the living room from a behind diagonal, near the kitchen. The floor was an open floor plan. You could see beyond the kitchen was a long hallway. There was a door next to the kitchen, you assumed it was the country-sized pantry. The Living room was a large entertainment area. The kitchen and living room were divided by several couches-or one massive sectional-and on each side of the living room was a slight incline into what you assumed were the bedrooms.

Oh, it is nice." You said. You pointed to each point and Tony confirmed your thoughts, You nodded and beamed. There was nothing done to the space other than the bare minimum. A fresh clean slate with free rein. "I think I have some ideas." You clapped excitedly gathering the attention of the few people in the room. You froze seeing them see you.

"Hello! I am Y/N L/N. I am interviewing to be your Quartermaster. I am in charge of decorating your living spaces." you grinned and waved childishly.

"Oh! We talked about this this the other day. When we asked about who to contact, F.R.I.D.A.Y brought you up as did Pepper." A large blonde blue-eyed man came up to you. You knew the Avengers had gotten new members but you lost track around 2016 or so. Even so, you knew Captain Rogers. You knew that he and Tony had been fighting over his best friend the brain-washed assassin who had killed Tony's parents. but most of the others had fallen through the cracks. "Let me introduce these couch potatoes." Steve led you to the couch, Tony trailing behind. "This is Sam Wilson, Air Force paratrooper, AKA the Falcon. This is Clint Barton, Archery expert and 80% deaf, AKA Hawkeye. This is Natasha Romanov, Super-spy aka Black Widow."

"Hey there, girlie. Welcome to the team." Sam said.

"Well, I haven't accepted yet. There is a lot to consider." You shrugged.

"If you are here, meeting us. You've accepted." A deep voice rasped from the entryway to your right closest to the kitchen. You turned to face them and your breath caught in your throat. His hair was long, greasy and clumpy, his skin pale and dry, the bags under his eyes were deep, and his scruff was unruly. The man made his way into the kitchen barely looking at you.

"Sh. Don't say that too loud. I haven't told Tony yet." You stepped over to the kitchen, you head tilted in curiosity. Steve reached out to grab you but you ducked out of the way. You knew who this man was, you knew everyone considered him dangerous, but he looked so sad and tired. You wanted to try to help. "Sargent Barnes? Thank you, for serving your country all those years ago in the 107th. I am sorry you had to suffer so very much to get here. and well..."You trailed off and lurched into his space before your courage gave out. "Welcome home, solider." you mumbled into his chest squeezing as tight as you could. You felt him freeze under you and you let go instantly. You had pushed a massive line and didn't want to make it worse. You knew a hug wouldn't fix him but it might help in that very moment. You stepped away and saw Sargent Barnes was indeed frozen, looking at you with a mix of awe and relief on his face. His eyes were overly wet and his arms were raised like he didn't know if he should wrap them around you or push you away. You didn't wait for him to thaw before hurrying to Tony's side.

"Mr. Stark, Sargent Barnes was right. I will take the job. Also Captain Rogers, you should get him a plant or two. Coming from someone extremely depressed and still struggles with it, plants help. Something that depends on you to live without major consequences can do wonders for mental health. Sargent Barnes needs to care for something, now that he no longer has to protect you Mr. Super-solider." You tugged on Tony's sleeve realizing that you stepped over the line immensely, the embarrassment and anxiety causing you to shrink on yourself. Tony took the hint and pulled you down the opposite hallway Sargent Barnes came out of. You looked behind you one time to see Steve and Bucky locked in a hug both of them crying silently. The wall then blocked your line of sight.

Previous / Next

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Hello! I am an idiot who thought the key to happiness was another WIP. Let me know what you think!

[bettydice]

(Planning the Day) To Meet You

Wangxian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, E-Rated

[Read on AO3]

Chapter 8

Thursday, Wei Ying-less

Determined to get this paper done and out of the way of meeting Wei Ying as quickly as possible, Lan Wangji goes straight to work after breakfast. He wants to, anyway. Except… He finds it abnormally difficult to concentrate. His phone and his lockscreen are right there.

After thirty minutes of unproductivity, Lan Wangji calls his brother and asks him whether he can stay with him for the next few days to finish his paper without distractions. Xichen doesn’t even ask him what could possibly be distracting him alone in his flat and instead happily invites him over and offers to cook for him every day.

When Lan Wangji arrives at Xichen’s flat, his brother has already cleared space on his desk and made a pot of tea. Lan Wangji thanks him, hands him his phone for safekeeping and goes to work. This time, he is way more successful and only allows himself short breaks to hang out with Cloud and Jade.

He only looks at his phone after dinner, when he’s about to go to bed. He finds he has several missed messages from Wei Ying and eagerly props himself up on a pillow to read them.

Wei Ying Lan Zhan, good luck today! work hard! ^_^v

Wei Ying remember to take breaks too stay hydrated :)

Wei Ying you must be hard at work, hm? good good ❤

Wei Ying Still working? Lan Zhan, don’t overdo it! your brain needs rest too

Wei Ying it’s good you’re so diligent once you’re done, I’ll give you a reward ;)

Lan Wangji Thank you for your messages. Sorry I didn’t reply sooner. I don’t keep my phone next to me while writing. So I don’t get distracted. I’m looking forward to the reward. I hope Wei Ying had a good day.

Lan Wangji barely has any time to look at his lockscreen, because Wei Ying replies almost instantly.

Wei Ying ah that’s good to hear! You work so hard ❤ my day was mostly boring :( Wen Qing was home and was annoyed by me so I went to the library but the library is no fun without Lan Zhan!

Lan Wangji I missed you today.

Wei Ying Lan Zhan… ❤ ❤❤ You should rest now You have to work more tomorrow

Lan Wangji ❤

Saturday & Sunday, Wei Ying-less

Saturday and Sunday pass about the same way and not as quickly as he’d like. His brother stays mostly out of his way, but will occasionally bring him tea or some fruit or a bunny. It’s getting harder and harder to not ask Xichen to give him back his phone and call Wei Ying to meet him. Or at least message him. Or look at his lockscreen for a few minutes. All Lan Wangji can do is to try to write this paper even quicker. However, ultimately there’s only so much rushing he can do. His degree is still important to him, even though at the moment it may feel less important than kissing Wei Ying.

Every evening, messages from Wei Ying are waiting for him, sent throughout the day. Little signs Wei Ying has been thinking about him and keeps thinking about him. Lan Wangji tells Wei Ying every evening that he misses him, and he hopes Wei Ying believes it.

Monday, sadly Wei Ying-less

At 5:30 p.m., Lan Wangji is officially done with his paper. He’ll take another look at it tomorrow morning, making sure to catch all errant typos and the like, before he’ll send it off to his professor. Once that is done, he can finally see Wei Ying again.

To celebrate, Xichen has bought dinner at Lan Wangji’s favourite restaurant and a plate filled with dumplings and lightly seasoned vegetables awaits him. It tastes delicious, as does the jasmine tea Xichen brews for them after dinner. They take it to the living room and sit down on the couch, finally able to enjoy their first proper conversation this weekend. Lan Wangji makes sure to tell Xichen all about the forest playground. Xichen looks at the picture with A-Yuan and the dam and agrees that the dam looked very sturdy and A-Yuan adorable. In turn, Xichen tells him about a few ideas he had how to improve his studio and shows him a list of exercises he’s thinking about including in his repertoire.

After their last heart-to-heart, things have changed between them. No loud, obvious changes. A gentle shift in their dynamic that feels natural. Lan Wangji tries to say things before Lan Xichen has to ask and he thinks it helps Xichen feel like his questions are not unwelcome.

“You’re always welcome here, I hope you know that. I liked having you around, Wangji.”

“I liked being here. Sorry for not staying longer.”

“Ah, no, not at all. You need your own bed and you want to see Wei Wuxian.” Xichen smiles knowingly and Lan Wangji nods, slightly embarrassed, since he’s very right about both of those things. ”I have my first client this week anyway, I think it would be awkward for you to be around.”

“Xichen, that’s great. You didn’t tell me.”

“Well, a half-client maybe. Nie Huaisang asked me whether I wanted to, how did he put it, ‘practice on someone who’s just happy to get a massage’ to ‘get back into the flow’.” Xichen laughs softly and Lan Wangji can’t help but smile.

“That does sound like Huaisang. And like a good idea.” Lan Wangji feels a little bad when he remembers their last phone conversation. He should write Huaisang a message later and thank him.

“I think so, too. I’m excited to get back to work.” Xichen seems to really mean it. A part of Lan Wangji’s heart that has been tense for over a year finally relaxes a little.

“I’m glad.”

“What about you? What are you going to do with the rest of your term break? This was your last paper, right?”

“Mn. Have some reading to do for the next semester, but no papers.”

“I suppose you’ll be seeing Wei Wuxian a lot?”

“... Mn.” Lan Wangji smiles a little at the thought. Now there’s no reason not to spend as much time as possible together.

“You’re free to borrow my car any time.”

“Thank you.” If they could take A-Yuan to the forest playground again that would be lovely. Or maybe a longer day trip to the beach?

“Remember that uncle owns a cottage in the mountains. Maybe you want to take Wei Wuxian there for a romantic weekend trip?”

Lan Wangji is really glad he isn’t currently eating or drinking anything, otherwise he’d surely have choked. While the thought is not unwelcome, he didn’t expect his brother to say something like that, especially not while wearing such a delighted grin that can even rival one of Wei Ying’s tamer wicked grins.

“Ah, too soon for that? I apologise.” Lan Xichen does not look sorry.

“Mhm... “ Lan Wangji really wouldn’t mind at all. They could even bring A-Yuan, if everyone would be okay with that. Lan Wangji could cook for them and they could hike to the waterfall and A-Yuan could build and destroy as many dams as he would like. They wouldn’t have to say goodbye in the evening.

Xichen clears his throat and Lan Wangji is drawn away from his lovely thoughts.

“Mn. Too soon.” But maybe one day.

Lan Wangji can’t stop thinking about how it would be if he took Wei Ying to the cottage. All the way back to his flat his mind conjures visions of Wei Ying in front of the fireplace, face glowing. Wei Ying sitting on a counter top in the kitchen in one of his soft sweaters, collarbone showing, while Lan Wangji prepares dinner. Wei Ying closing the door to A-Yuan’s room after they’d brought him to bed and looking at Lan Wangji, eyes intense and -

He has to stop himself there, because he is using the subway and there are people around.

As soon as he arrives home, he drops his things, takes off his clothes, not even caring to put them away properly, and hurries to the shower.

When the hot water hits his skin, Lan Wangji is already fully hard. He closes his eyes and instantly returns to where he stopped earlier.

Wei Ying looks up at him, biting his lip. All day, anticipation has been building between them… Lingering looks and touching, ever growing in intensity. Tiny kisses pressed against the cheek or the corner of the mouth. And now… now.

Lan Wangji takes Wei Ying’s hand and drags him into their bedroom. He closes the door behind them and finally, finally they’re kissing. Hungry, open-mouthed kisses.

Maybe Lan Wangji doesn’t know what it actually feels like, but his cock is more than happy with what’s happening in his imagination. He leans against the wall and grips himself tighter, strokes himself quicker.

He takes off Wei Ying’s hair tie, light blue, and watches as his hair falls long and soft across his shoulders, down his back. He wants to keep kissing his lips but also all the other parts of him he can reach and -

Lan Wangji is almost completely undone already, heat blazing in his stomach and behind his eyes. He decides to skip ahead, so his imagination is on the same level as his cock.

They’re both naked, now lying down, the bed or the floor, it doesn’t matter. Wei Ying’s hand is on Lan Wangji’s cock and they’re still kissing and Lan Wangji is hot all over, so close now. Wei Ying moves to mouth at Lan Wangji’s jaw and squeezes him, just right. Lan Wangji gasps “I love you” -

- and then he comes all over his shower door. Again.

Tuesday, Eighteenth Day with Wei Ying

Lan Wangji has successfully handed in his paper and arranged a meeting - a date? - with Wei Ying for 3 p.m. His reward is apparently going to be some ice cream. Spending time with Wei Ying is a reward by itself, of course and the lemon sorbet last time was refreshing, but… Meeting outside, going to a park where there’ll be other people around, isn’t quite the intimate setting Lan Wangji has been hoping for. Maybe he can ask Wei Ying to come over to his apartment after, for… coffee? No, Lan Wangji knows he will not be able to invite Wei Ying with such an obvious excuse. He really wants to kiss Wei Ying, kiss him properly and deeply, but not like this, not with shallow phrases and the expectations and pressure such an invitation would bring. Another time.

Their ice cream date is lovely, as expected. Well, the lemon sorbet tastes as decent as last time and they’re able to find a bench in the shade, next to a little pond. Both very lovely. However, Lan Wangji can’t ignore how Wei Ying’s smiles have a little bit of an edge today, like on Wednesday evening, before they said goodbye. But nothing really tangible, nothing Lan Wangji can really put a finger on. Wei Ying is always fidgety, but is it worse today? He chatters as happily and quickly as he always does, telling Lan Wangji all about his weekend and often, he’ll put a hand on Lan Wangji’s arm and keep it there for a while.

Still, Lan Wangji can’t help but feel uneasy, but decides to finish eating his ice cream before trying to ask Wei Ying about it. Wei Ying seems to have been waiting for him to finish, too, because as soon as Lan Wangji eats the last bite of his ice cream cone, Wei Ying looks at him and cocks his head.

“So, what are you going to do, now you have handed in your paper? Immediately start on the next one?”

“No more papers.”

“Oh, good for you!” Wei Ying bumps his shoulder into Lan Wangji’s arm and smiles. Lan Wangji thinks he sees a hint of sadness? Melancholy? “I suppose that means no more library time for you! Freedom!”

“Mn.”

“Ah, good for you. Mhm, it was nice seeing you so often, but nobody wants to sit in those stuffy rooms during summer, right?”

Cold panic curses through Lan Wangji. Did he hear that right? Does Wei Ying think they have no reason to meet now?

Wei Ying is oblivious to this and quickly continues. “You must be so relieved to get a reprieve from my shenanigans, haha! No more shameless porn in the library!”

Oh.

Lan Wangji had simply assumed they’d spend even more time together now, as much as possible, preferably all of his time. But of course Wei Ying has his own life, his own plans. He doesn’t think Wei Ying means that he doesn’t want to see him anymore, but it’s hard to think calmly about this when his heart is beating so painfully in his chest.

“Wei Ying. Do you still have things to do in the library?”

“Me? Haha, of course not! I only ever went there to… well… Uhm, I’m done with all my random reading.”

Only ever went there to… meet Lan Wangji? The cold that had gripped him before, slowly begins to thaw.

“Are you busy with other things?”

“Eh, I have this one project to finish before next term, but it’s boring and I can do that in one night. A-Ning might need help with a thing or two, but other than that… nope!”

“Then why…” Lan Wangji turns so he can look into Wei Ying’s eyes. “We can still see each other often then. Every day, if Wei Ying wants to.”

Wei Ying stares at him, wordlessly and stunned. It’s not quite his ‘Lan Zhan, did you just flirt?’ expression, it’s something more vulnerable. As if he’d never thought Lan Wangji would say something like that.

“Oh,” he finally whispers. Then he clears his throat and smiles, no edges this time, only relief. “Of course I want to. But you don’t have to! I’m sure you have a lot of things you want to do, now you have all this free time! Meet people, visit places, hug your bunnies, play your guqin or -”

Lan Wangji puts his hand over Wei Ying’s hand, because in the past it seemed to have helped him get his point across. “I want to spend my time with you. A-Yuan, too.”

Wei Ying stares again, opens his mouth and closes it again, before any words come out. Then he lowers his head, looks down at Lan Wangji’s hand on his hand and stays like that, silent, for a long time.

Lan Wangji tries really hard to be patient, to let Wei Ying work through whatever he has to work through, but the more time passes, the harder it gets. He looks down at his watch and decides to give Wei Ying another thirty seconds. After that time has passed, he entwines their fingers like Wei Ying did on the playground and softly says: “Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying finally lifts his head again and even meets his eyes. His own eyes are slightly red, though no tears seem to have been spilled. And he’s smiling, free of edges.

“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. You need to stop being so sweet to me, obviously I can’t handle it.”

“No.” If anything, this just proves he needs to be even sweeter.

“No?” Wei Ying looks taken aback for a second and then starts laughing, throwing his head back. “No, he says. Ah, Lan Zhan, you’re amazing.”

Wei Ying’s laughter eventually quiets down into a gentle smile and he leans against Lan Wangji’s arm and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Did you really say every day?”

“Mn.”

“Ridiculous.” But Wei Ying sounds fond as he says this and Lan Wangji can finally relax.

Wei Ying lifts their intertwined hands and presses a kiss to the back of Lan Wangji’s hand. Maybe it’s not the type of kiss he’s been dreaming about, but this feels meaningful. And necessary, so he can keep kissing Wei Ying in many ways, for a long time.

Wei Ying Lan Zhan ❤ Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow? 6 pm?

Lan Wangji Yes, I’d love to. Thank you.

Wei Ying don’t thank me haha Wen Qing has to work so she won’t be there to supervise cooking

Lan Wangji I could come earlier and help.

Wei Ying nooooooo no no you’re invited Do you like scallion pancakes?

Lan Wangji I do.

Wei Ying Oh great! I can do those pretty reliably. See you tomorrow Lan Zhan Sweet dreams ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Lan Wangji ❤

Wednesday, Nineteenth Day with Wei Ying

Dinner is just as lively an affair as last time, maybe even more so without the calming influence of Wen Qing. The scallion pancakes taste delicious, despite being burnt in a few places. Wei Ying drowns the taste in chili oil again.

Lan Wangji had hoped he’d get to listen to another one of Wei Ying’s good night stories, but after Wei Ying casts the Dream Spell over A-Yuan, Wen Ning is the one to tuck him into bed and Wei Ying takes Lan Wangji’s hand and pulls him into his room.

Wei Ying looks determined, as though he brought Lan Wangji here with a purpose. Once they’re alone, standing in the middle of his room, still holding hands, he looks intently at Lan Wangji, opens his mouth to say something and… falters. He averts his eyes and instead turns his gaze towards his desk. The flowers are still there, though they look decidedly less… alive.

“Ahaha, sorry. I didn’t want to throw them away, but they do look really sad now, don’t they?”

“I can bring you new ones. If you’d like.”

“I did like looking at them, but it’s such a waste to bring me flowers! Or any plants, for that matter. They’ll just die tragically.”

Lan Wangji makes a noncommittal noise, thinking he can simply take care of Wei Ying’s plants and flowers for him. Since they’ll be seeing each other often.

Since Wei Ying is still holding his hand, Lan Wangji tugs on his hand and waits for Wei Ying to look at him again.

“Ah, how rude of me! Please sit down, Lan Zhan!”

Nervous energy seems to have replaced all of Wei Ying’s determination; he lets go of Lan Wangji’s hand and gently pushes him towards the bed. They sit down next to each other, and Lan Wangji decides he will quietly wait for Wei Ying to calm down and tell him whatever it is he wants to tell him.

For a while, they sit in silence. Well, mostly. Wei Ying isn’t talking but he’s restless - always bouncing his leg or drumming his fingers against the blanket, looking everywhere but at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji isn’t someone who is troubled by silences, awkward or otherwise, but it’s hard to not be affected by Wei Ying’s nervous energy. Especially when he doesn’t know why Wei Ying is nervous. It feels different than yesterday, but again, Lan Wangji isn’t quite sure why he thinks it’s different. It’s just a feeling, after all.

“Dinner was nice.” Lan Wangji eventually breaks the silence with a pitiful - in his opinion - attempt at small talk.

“I’m glad! Good! Who doesn’t love pancakes, haha!” Wei Ying’s leg bouncing intensifies. “A-Ning is a good cook.”

“Mn. Wei Ying too.”

“Ha. Haha, thanks.” Now both legs are bouncing.

“Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji clears his throat and frowns when Wei Ying finally looks at him.

“It’s nothing, nothing. Don’t worry!”

Lan Wangji simply raises one eyebrow.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, don’t look at me like that! Just give me a minute or ten, okay!” He rests his hand on top of Lan Wangji’s thigh, but takes it away again, before Lan Wangji can hold it. Then he stands up. “I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want some, too? Ah no, you said you don’t drink. Ha, sorry. I’ll be right back! Okay!”

Wei Ying practically flees the room and when the door closes behind him, Lan Wangji sighs deeply. He’s a bit at a loss and he’s also getting frustrated. What is it Wei Ying needs from him?

Lan Wangji waits for several minutes. When he notices he’s bouncing his leg, he gets up and goes looking for Wei Ying. He finds him in the kitchen, staring down at a shot glass filled to the brim with tequila (according to the open bottle on the counter). Is this his first glass, or has he been drinking the entire time?

“Wei Ying?”

Wei Ying flinches, so deep in thoughts he didn’t hear Lan Wangji approach.

“Oh, Lan Zhan! Sorry, I’m coming!”

Wei Ying takes the bottle and the glass and sits down at the dining table. Lan Wangji doubts he has a Lan-like rule of “no food or drinks in your room”, so did he sit down here to escape the intimacy of his bedroom? Lan Wangji watches with ever-growing frustration as Wei Ying throws back the shot, grimaces and then sends a weak smile Lan Wangji’s way.

“Wei Ying. What is going on?”

“Oh, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. You’re really not making it easy for me you know? You look so handsome today.” Wei Ying points at him, as if accusing him of a minor crime. “That’s very rude, sidetracking me like that!”

“... I’m sorry?” Lan Wangji is wearing his favourite silk-blend shirt today and has most of his hair down, instead of tying it all back. Is this truly what has unsettled Wei Ying? It doesn’t seem likely.

Wei Ying laughs, almost a hysterical edge to it. “You’re also too cute! I’m suffering over here, you know?”

He fills his glass again and empties it just as quickly.

Lan Wangji isn’t quite sure how to react. Is Wei Ying deflecting with flirting again, or is he telling the truth in a way that doesn’t make sense to Lan Wangji?

Wei Ying fills his glass again and Lan Wangji suddenly has the pressing urge to slap it out of his hand. Instead, he grabs the glass and empties it himself. It tastes… abysmal.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying almost knocks over the bottle on the table, so shocked is he by Lan Wangji’s display of bad decision-making. Because that’s what it is. ‘Lans don’t indulge in alcohol’ exists for a good reason, as most Lans have a very, very low alcohol tolerance. But it’s not indulging if he hates every drop of it, is it?

Lan Wangji grabs the bottle, and fills the glass once more.

[bigtinyworldtravel]

How does one see Namibia?  Full of wildlife, massive sand dunes, and vast distances, there’s really only one way to see it all: renting a car and driving yourself.  Just be prepared to drive on the lefthand side of the roads, and be ready for very little pavement!

But then, where does one stay in this developing country?  You might find some resort-style lodges near the larger towns, but if you’re on a budget like we are, the best option is a campground.  Even in the winter, desert temperatures are mild, and precipitation is nonexistent in such an arid climate.

As adventure types, we don’t shy away from camping when we travel, but that activity requires quite a bit of specialty equipment – extra gear we didn’t exactly want to lug all the way around the world with us.  Fortunately, there’s a popular solution in Namibia to the needs of both transportation and accommodation.

Hop aboard and see what life was like spending three weeks in our 4×4 camping truck!

About the truck

First things first, let’s talk about the truck that sustained us for 20 days in the Namibian desert.

Our vehicle was like any other truck: four doors, manual transmission, diesel engine, two spare tires, two batteries, two gas tanks, and – of course – four-wheel drive.  Aaron was our brave driver for the entire duration.  By this point, he was quite practiced at driving on the “wrong” side of the road, and he wasn’t as preoccupied as I was with photography.  I spent most of my time in the passenger seat up front… unless I was scouting for wildlife, in which case I sat like the awkward third wheel in movies: dead center in the back (seriously, no one chooses that seat – especially if they’re the only one back there!).

All our gear could be safely stowed in the bed of the truck, secured by a hard canopy with convenient locking access panels on each side.  Aside from the occasional need to fill up and restock on food and water, we had all the necessary basics.

About the roads

Driving from the airport into Windhoek, proper, is misleading.  The entire route is tarred roads and highways, and the city appears to be quite developed.  Even driving several hours north to Etosha, we never left pavement.  But once you get into the park and venture elsewhere in the country, you’ll find nothing but dirt and gravel.

We quickly learned that the letters in the road names denoted (more or less) the quality of that road.  B roads are generally tarred highways; we really like these roads.  C roads are usually fairly well-graded gravel roads.  After enough D roads, we learned to look forward to these C roads.

And D roads?  Those are the ones we dreaded… small, bumpy, and less-frequently maintained.  They often traverse regular river and creek beds.  Though these were all dry when we were there (July), I could see these being rather treacherous in the wet season.  These are also best described as washboard roads (this is an interesting simulation on how they form), and some got so bad, we had to take breaks to combat motion sickness.  We groaned whenever Google routed us to a D road.

Now, some C roads are also washboarded – particularly the more frequented ones and those with faster traffic like the route into Sossusvlei – and some D roads are better than C roads.  And yes, there are E and F roads (these are usually barely paths across the desert).

Is a 4×4 necessary?

When deciding on a vehicle for Namibia, we debated back and forth on whether to get a 4×4 truck or an everyday (and far less expensive) car (or some combination of the two).  Most roads are dirt that a car could handle (albeit less comfortably), and we weren’t intending to do much off-roading.  In fact, we only used four-wheel drive once the entire time we were there.  So was the extra expense worth it?

Yes.  For a few reasons.

First, it was comforting to have the peace of mind should we get stuck anywhere.  We didn’t plan to do anything so extreme as to suspect we’d run into trouble, but in a place as unpredictable as Namibia, we felt better prepared.

Next, while roads could mostly be navigated via car, they’re almost all rough gravel (see above).  Four-wheel drive isn’t always necessary, but high clearance certainly came in handy on more than one occasion!

Third, we liked having the option of 4×4 for the one situation where we *really* needed it.  The road to Sossusvlei was deep sand and absolutely required four-wheel drive.  Being able to drive it ourselves meant we could skip the expensive and time-restrictive shuttle provided by the park.

And finally, it served not only as our transportation for our duration in Namibia; it was also our lodging.  While we theoretically could have slept in a car, the tent that came with our truck was far more comfortable.

What comes with the truck?

Every company will be different, of course, but ours came fully equipped with everything we needed to live out in the bush: pots, pans, kettle, dishes, can opener (for our favorite Koo Chakalaka), propane, chairs, table, lighter, spare water, a powered refrigerator/cooler, and even a braai (grill).

We were also given essentials like an air compressor, tire gauge, axe, spade, and extension cord.

But what about the tent and sleeping bags?

These come on top of the truck!  Yep!  No fears of a wayward hyena coming to sniff at tasty human burritos just laying on the ground for the taking in the middle of the night.  Sleep in comfort atop your truck!

The tent was surprisingly comfortable.  As it’s permanently installed on the roof rack, it can afford the luxury of a real foam pad as insulation.  Paired with military-grade canvas above, the inside is quite cozy.

Our truck came with two cool-weather sleeping bags, two full-sized pillows, and a couple of spare blankets should we get cold (we did a few times).  This all just stayed in the tent, waiting for us for when we next stopped for the night.

How do you set up the tent?

The setup was a breeze!  Far simpler than any other tent I’ve worked with.  Come nightfall, we just had to remove the cover, release the tie-down straps, extend the ladder, unfold the tent, and insert the support poles.  Boom!

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Teardown was similarly easy, effectively doing the same in reverse (and adding some fabric tucking action as you fold the tent).

It was all quite convenient!

Some tips:

The poles could be a bit tricky at times.  I sometimes found it easier to insert the bottom of the pole into the frame and then bend the pole to hook the other end onto the canvas (while we mostly saw everyone doing the opposite).

Climbing the ladder to insert the poles on the ladder side makes it far easier to do so.

Be careful that the ladder doesn’t come apart.  If the tabs that lock it into place get stuck in the up/open position, you might find you get half the ladder in your hands when trying to extend it (we did this a couple of times).

Mind the ladder that you don’t accidentally scrape the vehicle while setting up the tent.

Don’t try to drive the truck while the tent is deployed 🙂

Secure the cover inside the truck or somewhere out of the elements at night.  The wind often picks up a bit in the middle of the night, and having that thing slap against your tent in the pitch darkness is one of the most terrifying ways to wake up… trust us.

About renting

Renting one of these trucks is much like renting any other vehicle.  However, since roads are particularly rough, you should definitely have full insurance (either already covered by your policy at home or as an add-on with the rental).  And due to the strenuous conditions on the vehicle, you’ll have more paperwork to sign, promising you won’t speed (seriously, please don’t; it’s quite dangerous to do so) or go recklessly off-road.

It is customary for companies to charge a deposit on the truck.  This covers incidentals like any scrapes you might acquire while driving through bushes (which you really shouldn’t do because you should stick to the roads) and a gas top-off.  You could also be held liable for any accidents, flat tires, or cracked windshields (depending on your insurance coverage).

Some companies (including the one we went with) will even offer an airport pickup/drop-off service.  We had an extra day on either side, so we didn’t take advantage of this, but it is useful to not need an extra rental or taxi into Windhoek (where you’re most likely to pick one of these up).

Our experience

We rented our truck from Travel Namibia in Windhoek.  This is a small company, owned by a husband and wife team who are incredibly nice people.  They were in the process of relocating their office, so we picked up our vehicle from their residence.

When we arrived, Kato welcomed us into her home and offered us tea while we filled out the paperwork (standard liability agreements, fees for additional damage, etc.).  We talked about our travels thus far, and she was fascinated with our journey.  In fact, she ended up following our very sporadic social media posts of Etosha pictures while we were about and had a lot of compliments for the pictures upon our return.

She and her husband gave us some pointers on where to go within Etosha, and they insisted we call them straight away if we had any issues setting up the tent, if we broke down, or if we otherwise needed help or advice with any aspect of our excursion.  We even scraped a bush one of our first days in Etosha, and I was certain they’d use that as an excuse to charge the polishing fee (any other mainstream company would have).  But they looked at the paint and deemed the light scrape superficial.  I felt like we were borrowing a truck from a good friend rather than renting from a business.

The truck itself really did become our home during those three weeks.  It ran well and never let us down, despite the rough conditions we subjected it to.  And against all odds, we didn’t get a single flat (Kato said we were the first!).

The tent was remarkably comfortable, and we looked forward to crashing each night in its cozy interior.  All in all, it wasn’t a bad way to live for those weeks.

We loved renting from Travel Namibia, and we happily recommend them.  You can find their booking details here.

A day in the life

06:27 – wake up to the birds beginning to stir, along with some of our early-riser neighbors

06:36 – finally drag ourselves out from under the warmth of our comfy sleeping bags, apply some deodorant, throw on some extra layers, and don a hat or a buff

06:42 – Aaron pulls out the propane tank, a pot, and a couple of bowls to start heating up some breakfast: the usual chakalaka or beans poured over rice and spruced up with our all-purpose seasoning, paired with rooibos tea with honey.  Meanwhile, I pack up as much of the tent as I can without his assistance

06:45 – Aaron helps pack in the excess fabric of the tent while I slowly fold it up, and we get it all strapped down and covered.  Breakfast heats on the stove

06:51 – we scoop up breakfast and pack up everything else into the truck

06:54 – we take our bowls and tea cups up to the watering hole to hopefully catch some early wildlife while we eat; nothing comes

07:26 – we drive out to the camp gate to await the new day

07:28 – the gates are already open, so we’re off!

07:49 – we pull over to take some pictures of an early morning jackel

07:55 – we reach our first watering hole, where we spy a few hyenas

08:37 – we stop to photograph some wandering wildebeasts, ostriches, and the ever-present springbok

09:23 – we spot our very first lions! thanks to the help of some other stopped vehicles

09:37 – we stop to hang out with a giraffe for a little while

10:08 – we see a lone elephant off across the field

11:50 – we arrive at another watering hole and park for a bit

11:52 – a huge herd of zebras come into the watering hole, and we take loads of pictures

12:12 – another watering hole; this time, springbok and oryx

12:18 – we notice a hornbill in the trees!

12:51 – wildebeasts and zebras on the side of the road

13:10 – a new watering hole with lots of black-faced impala chasing each other around

13:21 – elephants race into the area, scattering the impala and taking over the scene

13:43 – giraffes finally have a go at the water as the elephants disperse

14:08 – we finally leave the watering hole

15:26 – we stop in at one of the campgrounds to break for lunch: some leftover rice and chakalaka

16:02 – we start to head back in the direction of our campground

16:26 – we spot another lone elephant in the distance

16:38 – we come across a single rhino nearby!

17:03 – we arrive early back at our campground, well before the gates will close at sunset at 18:30 and set up the tent

17:13 – we take a fast shower (only if it’s warm enough, as most showers are open-air)

17:39 – we heat up some quick dinner: mixing it up with some potatoes and beans with our special seasoning

17:58 – we walk over to the watering hole inside our campground for the evening show and see a herd of elephants are already there!

18:14 – a rhino also shows up on the scene

18:31 – the rhino gets a bit too close, sparking a confrontation with one of the larger elephant bulls

18:41 – a small feral cat skitters across the area surrounding the watering hole

18:48 – the elephants finally depart, leaving the rhino alone at the water

19:17 – a flock of birds invades the watering hole, raising a boisterous chorus where it was silent only moments before – a nightly occurrence

19:41 – we call it a night and return to our campsite to get ready for bed, the early sunset training us to tire much earlier in the evening

20:01 – we wind down the evening with a quick episode of anime on our iPad, at the perfect height when draped over one of the bungee supports inside the tent

20:42 – after what actually ended up being two episodes of anime, we finally turn off our solar-powered puff lantern (also conveniently hung from another bungee support) and snuggle into our sleeping bags to crash and get up early the next morning to do it all over again!

General truck tips

Stay alert while driving.  Distances in Namibia are quite long, and it’s easy to zone out.  Take regular breaks to take in the scenery and rest your mind for the next long haul.  This could also save you from making costly mistakes that could lead to rolling the vehicle or hitting something in the road.

Watch for wildlife.  There aren’t many fences to protect the roads, and you’re likely to encounter anything from springbok and warthogs to cows and goats.  They can appear suddenly, so always be on the lookout.

Don’t drive at night.  The abundance of wildlife is the primary reason.  There are no street lights, and animals are more active at night.  Besides, it isn’t much fun to drive at night (or have to set up the tent after dark).  It’s much more enjoyable to spend this time stargazing, instead.

Keep your windows closed while driving through cities.  Sadly, petty crime is quite common, particularly in the populated areas.  Open windows are an invitation for quick grab-and-run.  Even in smaller towns, many poorer citizens will take every opportunity to convince tourists to purchase their wares (usually handmade bracelets and other trinkets).  It’s easier to say no with closed windows (and only open them if you’d like to actually buy something from them).

Be mindful of areas where you can get out of your vehicle.  This is particularly true in Etosha National Park.  With the abundance of dangerous wildlife, you should stay inside your truck at all times.  Only exit in designated areas.

Resist the urge to speed.  With the road conditions in Namibia, this should be a no-brainer.  Washboard roads already aren’t pleasant at high speeds, and speed on gravel is a recipe for an accident (or a punctured tire).  Besides, the views are worth taking in – not passing by.

If someone passes you, slow to let their dust clear.  Don’t be that person who insists on being the fastest on the road (see the point above).  If someone wants to pass, just let them.. and then let their dust clear.  Hanging out in someone’s dust cloud reduces visibility and could increase your risk of a rock in your windshield.  We seldom even encountered other drivers on the road (usually other travelers), so it wasn’t an issue to just slow down when we did.

Carry your passport.  You should do this anyway.  But it’s particularly important in Namibia, as you might encounter periodic checkpoints on the roads.  Officers (sometimes pretty imposingly armed) might ask for your destination, identification, and if you’re transporting any produce.  Some larger vehicles were even stopped and inspected, though we weren’t really subjected to this.

Know the names of the places you’ve left and where you’re going next.  We were asked this everywhere we went: every new campground, park, attraction, and checkpoint.  Should you go missing, there is a paper-trail log of where you’ve been and where you intended to go next – much like a through-hiking registry.

Memorize your license plate number.  This goes with the above.  Every campsite we checked in at asked for this, and we were caught, on more than one occasion, needing to dash quickly outside to remember the elusive digits on our license plate.  It wasn’t until one of our last days that we realized our helpful rental agency were kind enough to jot this down right on the keychain.. doh!

When driving on dirt, open the canopy vent.  Thats right: open the vent on the back of the truck.  This sounded entirely counterintuitive to us; wouldn’t opening it let more dust in?  But no!  This actually breaks an otherwise vacuum situation, which would suck in dust kicked up from the rear tires.  We made the mistake of forgetting to open this only once, and our things were simply covered in dust.  There’s honestly no preventing dust, but this reduces the intensity.

Use four-wheel drive only when you need to.  This should be very rare.  We only used it once; two-wheel drive was sufficient for almost all conditions.  I could see our needing this more during the wet season, but we were fine during the winter.  And even if you do need it, familiarize yourself with how to engage it and which situations require which gears.

First, only switch the drive mode while the vehicle is at a complete stop.  Use four-wheel low when driving very slowly (generally over very uneven and solid, boulder-road situations), and use the high gear if you’ll require more speed (like the soft-ground situations we had going to Deadvlei).  Don’t push the engine too much while in these gears, or you might wear out the clutch.

Fill up as soon as you see the gauge beginning to drop below the F(ull) indicator.  Our truck had two gas tanks.  This meant we could fill up less frequently, but with gas stations being sparse on the desert roads, you really want to take advantage of them.  Our truck burned the spare tank first, so the indicator only moved once we started using the fuel in the second/primary tank.  We filled up every time we noticed the needle falling below F, which ensured we never ran out of gas.

Regularly check your tire pressure.  This is important to monitor for any impending flats.  If you notice the pressure declining, get it checked out (many gas stations offer tire repair service) before it becomes a more costly repair.  And as desert temperatures fluctuate drastically, maintaining your tire pressure within the optimal range could protect your tires from punctures.

Final thoughts

Fair warning: renting one of these trucks is expensive.  All in, our truck cost us about N$1586 ($110 USD) per day (for two people).  They’re very popular, and you will see countless others on your journey through Namibia.  But it’s clear to see why.  The places this truck took us, and the fact that it served as both our transportation and lodging (not including campsite fees) for the three weeks, it was well worth the cost.

Have you ever stayed in one of these trucks?  Tell us all about your experience in the comments below!

We were not offered any discounts or free services by Travel Namibia in exchange for a positive review.  While we later agreed to provide them some promotional materials and a mention on our blog – for which we are being compensated – we do this because we genuinely enjoyed our experience with them and would wholeheartedly recommend their services to our friends and family.

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We spent 20 days in a #4x4 #camping truck. Click to get the inside scoop on all you need to know about #renting and driving one of these trucks in #Namibia! #drivenamibia #desertcamping How does one see Namibia?  Full of wildlife, massive sand dunes, and vast distances, there's really only one way to see it all: renting a car and driving yourself. 

[marypsue]

Something Borrowed, Something Blues 8 / ?

Well, thanks to tumblr's absolute competence and excellent decision-making, I can't link to previous chapters posted on my blog and still have anybody see this post. So this seems like a great time to remind everyone that all my fics are available to read, in a convenient, user-friendly format, over on AO3! My handle there is also MaryPSue. 

Between this and the demise of tumblr fandom with the platform changes, I plan to phase out posting actual fic to tumblr at all. Next chapter will most likely only be posted to AO3, with an update notification posted here.

...

Once upon a time, there was a seed.

The greatest redwood forests start from a single seed, and so too it was with this seed. Dormant, it lay for decades in rich and fertile soil, waiting only for the right conditions to unfurl its tentative leaves. To put forth its questing roots.

...

The moment the words fell out of his mouth, Dipper knew he’d made a mistake.

But he’d been challenged! On his own ground! In his home, of all places, by one of his own creations! Who did the Woodsman think he was? The moment he’d seen those antlers twined into the branches of Henry’s apple tree - 

"Now hold on, hold on, back it up just a tick," Rosa said. "Who's this now?"

...

Once upon a time, there was a sapling.

It had grown from a seed, a seed nourished by magic both ancient and entirely new, a seed planted in rich and fertile soil. It was young still, its trunk no wider than a slender wrist, but its roots ran strong and deep.

The sapling grew tall and strong, entwined with the narrow trunk of an apple tree, so closely that their fruits intermingled, that they could not be told apart. Who watered one watered the other; what nourished one, nourished the other. Apple and sapling shared all things; water, sunlight, soil, the love of the one who tended their orchard, of those who sat in the shade and shelter of their branches.

And then, one day, the apple tree fell.

...

The apple tree arched shimmering branches overhead, laden with both delicate, almost translucent blossoms and glossy fruit so rich and red that Mira could swear they were dripping colour into the detritus of leaves and needles below.

In the strangest way, the scene was familiar. She couldn’t, if asked, have explained why, but - this tree was real and huge and healthy, and heavy with fruit, blossoms, and lush foliage (which, the closer Mira looked, seemed to be in all of the different seasons at once), but somehow it reminded her of nothing so much as the scrawny, spectral soul-tree she and Alcor had destroyed. 

She wasn’t scared.

That was strange, too. Maybe the strangest of all. Mira had the funniest feeling - maybe just because of the memory of that other tree, and what she’d seen and done that day - that she was supposed to be scared. And yet, the tree was unusual, maybe a little eerie, but it wasn’t frightening. In fact, just being under the canopy of its branches made Mira feel - warm. Safe. Sheltered. 

Protected.

Without, Mira realised with a start, the feeling of being maybe just a little bit...watched which came with the territory of being Mizar. She couldn’t remember the last time she hadn’t felt Alcor’s all-seeing eye trained on her back. It was a feeling she’d learned to live with, long ago, a feeling that had been a comfort at times, even as it had been a giant pain in the ass at others. She’d gotten so used to it that she hardly even registered it anymore. Hardly noticed it was there.

And now it was gone. 

Mira didn’t know whether to feel worried or relieved.

...

Once upon a time, there was a tree.

It stood alone, and yet not alone. A forest surrounded it, a forest of old magic and older growth, a forest filled with seeds of its fruit. The number of those who sheltered under its branches grew and grew with each passing year, as the forest itself grew, as its canopy enfolded the mountainside.

And yet, the tree still stood alone. No longer intertwined with another, its trunk seemed gnarled and twisted, its branches barren but for its curious stolen fruit. Its roots ran so deep and wide now that no seed dared take root near it. No other tree dared risk tasting the soil that nourished it.

It had become an exceedingly thin and bitter soil.

Without the apple beside it, the tree was but half a tree, roots and branches spreading ever outwards, seeking after something that, in its heartwood, it knew it had lost. Something that it needed to be fully whole.

...

The hairs on the back of Ian's neck were standing on end.

That probably had something to do with the huge tree-monster with burning blue eyes roaring at them. Or the aura of power rolling off of Alcor's disintegrating human disguise. Or the redheaded figures ringing the clearing like guards, peering balefully at them from between the birches. Or the fact that, despite Alcor's accusation, Mira still wasn't anywhere to be seen. There were actually so many things to be frightened or unsettled by that Ian was starting to feel a little spoiled for choice.

But it wasn't just fear. At least, Ian didn't think it was, though, judging from the way the other two humans in their party had drawn closer together, they might be inclined to disagree. He was vibrating with energy, both nervous and strangely excited - literally vibrating, he realised, fingers drumming a staccato tattoo against his bouncing leg.

The sheer ambient magic hanging around the forest was making his mechanical eye go haywire, too, Ian realised, looking around. It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to realise that what looked like indistinct red and green shapes when seen through his left eye, easily mistaken for drifting leaves or shaking branches or the dappled shadow on a tree trunk shifting, became ethereal, green-tinted human figures with shockingly red hair when seen through the right. 

But now that they were standing inside the ring of trees, what Ian could see through his right eye had gone practically psychedelic. One minute there was nothing there but the wind in the evergreens; the next, tall redheaded figures with greenish skin and unusually long fingers; the next, everything was black and white save for the fist-sized balls of blue fire hovering where the green people had stood, shedding leaves made of blue flame that shaded to autumnal yellow at the tips and edges. 

And it wasn't only the...dryads?...that Ian's eye had decided to warp. It flickered from the clearing in full colour, to black and white interrupted only by the glow of what Ian assumed had to be magic, to a greenish haze that made it hard to tell anything apart, to fire. The enormous tree monster in the centre of the clearing was now a slim, tall, antlered figure made of blue flame, now a pale human man whose eyes were black holes and whose antlers dripped with severed hands and feet, now a hideously gnarled, blackened tree rooted firmly in the earth and twined so closely together with the apple tree that stood at the centre of the clearing that they almost looked braided together. Alcor was now Tyrone, now a crackling ball of golden light as tall as Rosa with enormous wings sweeping out to encircle the clearing, now - Ian blinked, and it had vanished, but he could have sworn he'd seen a small, dark-haired boy, about twelve or thirteen, in strange, old-fashioned clothing, standing where Alcor had stood.

The view from Ian's left eye stayed constant, steady, while the view from his right jumped wildly from one vision to the next. It was enough to give a guy a headache.

And he was getting a headache. A slow, dull throb was starting to build behind his right eye, like the prosthetic was growing too big for its socket. 

It was a familiar feeling. Ian really hoped it didn’t mean what he thought it meant.

...

Once upon a time, there was a deep, dark forest.

It had stood for a hundred hundred years, and it would stand for a hundred hundred more. And, at the very heart of the forest, there was a tree.

It stood at the centre of a clearing, a clearing it had made for itself. And for years, for centuries, it stood alone.

And then, one day, a little rabbit came hopping along and nestled down in its roots.

...

"The hell kinda magic's goin' on around here?" Rosa complained, from somewhere behind Dipper. He ignored her. "Feels like I'm seein' double."

"You're not the only one," Ian muttered, and Dipper resisted the urge to turn and look. He was talking about his artificial eye and its artificial Sight. That was all. Nothing more.

"Oh, for - am I the only person here who isn't somehow magically sensitive?!" Sun-mi protested. "What's going on? Where's Mira? What is that thing?" Dipper was sure it wasn't his imagination that that last sentence sounded more curious than annoyed or frightened.

"Based on context, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's an ancient forest spirit," Ian said. "And that it does not like us being here."

Dipper could hear the grimace in his voice, and, despite the fact that clinging to a human mask was growing more difficult and confusing by the second, couldn't help but echo it. Ian was no fool; he'd probably worked out exactly what Dipper had. If the Woodsman was walking again, these days, it almost definitely meant he felt his forest was under threat. And what greater threat than...

"Wait. You never met the Woodsman, did you?" Dipper broke concentration long enough to ask. If any of the other three noticed that the movement of 'his' lips didn't exactly sync up with the words, they were too polite to mention it.

Ian gave Dipper an odd look, made odder by the way his prosthetic eye was flickering and roving in his head. "On the one hand, you're absolutely correct, but on the other hand, I get the feeling you're talking about something else completely that I don't know if I should be agreeing with."

Dipper cleared his nonexistent throat and nodded in Sun-mi's direction. Ian winced.

"Oh, what?" Sun-mi demanded, planting both hands on her hips. "Look, I'm not exactly an idiot. I know there's something here you all aren't telling me, and I'm getting pretty damn sick of it! Especially if it has some bearing on the mysterious disappearance of my best friend! You owe me the truth. Spill."

Ian glanced over at Dipper. Dipper met his eyes with a wince of his own.

"Gruargh," the Woodsman said, and Dipper started. He'd almost forgotten the big guy was there.

"Hold your horses, we'll get to you," he said to the Woodsman, whose eerie, sunken blue eyes somehow managed a kicked-puppy look, before turning back to the three humans with him. "Ian? Do you want to...?"

Sun-mi crossed her arms over her chest, fixing Ian with a penetrating stare. "I don't particularly care who it is, but somebody'd better start talking. Now."

Ian pressed his lips tight together, glancing down at the waving grasses to his left. He shook his head, but didn't speak.

"Fine," Dipper said, with a sigh that rattled the remaining particles of his temporary meatsuit. "I -"

He didn't get to finish the sentence.

With a roar that literally shook the clearing, the Woodsman lunged. His impossibly long arm swept forward, knocking Rosa off her feet, and grabbed Dipper by the throat, hauling him up into the air. The Woodsman drew Dipper up close to his face, seemingly oblivious to the screams and shouts from the humans below, until Dipper was eye-to-glowing-blue-eye with the Woodsman. Through the sudden fear that spiked through him, Dipper realised the Woodsman's head seemed a lot larger than the last time they'd seen each other. Like, a lot larger. Like, the Woodsman's head was as tall as Dipper's entire meatsuit larger. It seemed the Woodsman had been isolated out in the woods for so long that he'd forgotten human scale.

Either that, or, the way he was one with the woods now, he'd grown with them.

Neither, Dipper thought stupidly, spelled good things for his very squishy human companions down below.

"Oh my stars!" one of the girls was shrieking, over and over again. Dipper hadn't pegged either of them as likely to lose their heads in a situation like this, but then again, he supposed, you never really knew until you got somebody there. Well. He knew, of course, he knew lots of things, but...when humans were involved, they could always surprise you.

"Uh," Dipper tried, into the baleful glare of that actinic blue eye. "Guess that was the wrong response...?"

The Woodsman answered by opening the gash in his bark that served as a mouth and letting out another bone-shattering roar. Literally bone-shattering. Dipper felt his meatsuit buffeted mercilessly in the wind of that roar, could feel the particles stripping away in that wind like confetti. He tried to hold them in place, but it was no use. The sheer power pouring off the Woodsman shredded his human disguise like wet tissue paper, leaving Dipper scrambling to put on an appropriately humanoid face and rein his wings back in. He'd been aiming to intimidate the Woodsman when they were only visible on the magical level, but now, without his constructed body and with his power laid bare for everyone to see, he didn't feel like burning out anybody's eyes.

The short shriek Sun-mi let out told Dipper that he hadn't been entirely successful.

"Alcor!" she yelled, waving an arm in Dipper's direction. "That's Alcor!"

Ian grimaced. "Got it in one."

"That's a demon!"

"And now you're two for two," Rosa agreed, with forced nonchalance, though Dipper was pleased to note that she did at least look pale.

"And you all knew about this?" Sun-mi demanded, the shock in her voice starting to shade towards anger. "Oh my stars, did that poor schmuck he was possessing just get obliterated!?"

"What? No! That meatsuit was all mine," Dipper protested.

"No humans were harmed in the making of this motion picture," Ian muttered, under his breath. Sun-mi's existential crisis didn't seem to be holding his attention any more than the Woodsman did, though - he was still busy looking around, watching the redheaded dryads who encircled the clearing, jumping at shadows. Dipper wondered if he was feeling the tug of ancient, familiar power too.

And that was all he thought about that, for a while, because it was then that the Woodsman started to squeeze.

...

Mira's attention was so taken by the tree that she almost didn't notice the man standing under its branches. She wasn't sure when he'd appeared, wasn't sure whether he'd been there the whole time, standing almost inhumanly still and silent, watching her look around. The lush green grass and the laden branches waving around him made his stillness all the more pronounced.

Mira took a half-step back.

The man under the tree raised his head to look at her, but the dappled shadows of the tree's branches still obscured his features. He was tall, though, the top of his head and his shock of bright red hair hidden behind the leaves and flowers of the tree, and pale as milk. He seemed strangely familiar somehow, but the more Mira looked, the less sure she was of what he actually looked like. Was he wearing a plaid flannel shirt and jeans? A dark, formal suit? Leaves and birchbark? Anything at all?

She took another step back, and the man reached out an arm towards her. She couldn't make out his features, couldn't tell if his nose was large or small or if his eyes were wide-set or close together, but somehow she could swear that his expression was pleading.

Against all her better judgement, Mira stopped moving.

Slowly, the tall man lowered himself to one knee in front of her. As the top of his head came down out of the branches, Mira realised that it hadn't all been branches that she'd been seeing. A rack of impressive antlers, shaped like a deer's but gnarled like wood, sprouted from the man's head. Rich, red apples hung from the antlers, their colour so deep and true that Mira's mouth watered at the sight.

( - for a second, she could swear they were dripping with it, bloody drops splashing against the leaf-littered ground - )

Mira took a cautious step forward, and then another. The tall man's arm was still outstretched, but the closer Mira got, the easier it was to tell that he wasn't simply reaching out for her. Something was taking form in his fingers, and for a second Mira recoiled, thinking she was seeing a little brown snake crawling out of his sleeve (leaves?). 

But it wasn't, when she looked closer, a snake at all. It was a slender brown root, twisting and twining itself into an empty, elaborate coil. Almost like -

The tall man raised his head, then, and looked Mira in the eye. She still couldn't seem to pin down his features, but she found herself frozen in place by eyes that were the most vibrant midsummer-sky blue.

The tall man held the ring up to Mira. She couldn't see his lips move, but the wind in the leaves, the rustle of the grass, the low buzz and hum of the bees dipping into the flowers, all seemed to come together to form one sound. 

No. Not one sound. One word.

Stay.

[angeltriestoblog]

Your Comprehensive Guide to Passing the College Entrance Tests

College entrance tests season is a time in my life that I look back on with equal parts pain and fondness, which somewhat serves as a justification as to why I’ve been putting off this post for so long. Although I spent many sleepless nights re-absorbing lessons I never even got in the first place—all while having to deal with agonizing self-doubt and anxiety—I guess it’s safe to say that it was all worth it. After all, ya girl passed three out of the four universities she applied for: I have yet to find out if UP is willing to take me under their wing, but whether or not they want me, I can say that I am very much contented with my results.

Since I feel I’m in a position to speak on a topic like this, I’m back at it again and ready to help anyone about to tackle the beasts that are the CETs this year. I’m dividing this post into three parts, which will contain tips on how to go about everything before, during and after taking what most consider to be the most important tests of your life. 

Obligatory disclaimer: This is ridiculously long and not everything that I’ve written here will apply to you, but hey, if I were you, I’d start taking down notes.

BEFORE THE TEST

One thing most people fail to stress when giving advice on this topic is the importance of adopting the best mindset. Understand that the CETs are a very serious and urgent matter, for you are tasked with preparing for the succeeding chapters of your life all within a short time frame, but at the same time, don’t allow the pressure that comes with it to lead to overthinking and comparison that will ultimately distract you from achieving your goal: passing. Stay driven and positive, and focus on yourself.

Now, on to the actual studying part. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the best way to breeze through these exams without breaking a sweat is by being a good student all throughout high school. Be the type to maintain a stellar general weighted average, keep all notes taken down during the past four years in an expanding file folder instead of using them to wrap dried fish and join as many extracurricular activities as possible. If you’ve already failed at this, it’s time to proceed to Plan B: review school.

I personally didn’t enroll in any classes over the summer, because I thought they only took place during the month of April, which was when my parents had scheduled our overseas trip for the year. Well, apparently, I couldn’t have been any less well researched and by the time I found out, it was already far too late. So, I had made the decision to opt for self-study. For some reason, I was the only one in the household who was worried out of my mind: my parents were very much convinced that I would be able to handle reviewing on my own, and prove that review school was not a requirement for acceptance into prestigious universities. I was touched by their unwavering confidence in me, but every word felt like an additional kilogram I had to carry on my back.

I got by through borrowing old review modules from my dentist (Tita Meng, I have no idea how you’re ever going to read this, but thank you so much for saving my life… and also straightening my teeth) and downloading sample tests from the Internet for me to test my knowledge later on. My efforts never felt like they were enough for me though: I remember looking up the curriculum for each subject I needed to tackle on the website of the Department of Education, researching each sub-topic that was vague to me and Khan Academy-ing my way to proficiency. Definitely an unnecessarily extra way to tackle the reviewing process, but hey, my mind was very much laden with doubt and I was willing to do the most. I also put up cartolinas on my bedroom walls with formulas for different Math and Science subjects, which proved itself useful since I actually spend a decent amount of my time staring off into space.

If the thought of doing all of this alone is stressing you out, then maybe it’s time to go down what is considered by most to be the safe route: enrolling in a review school. Doing so will provide you with all the lessons covered during high school in the form of actual lectures with qualified teachers, and hardbound notes that often come with sample tests that resemble the real thing. It guides you through the application process as well as gives updates on the schedules of most universities, and helps in parts of the test that cannot be achieved by poring over textbooks such as essay writing and even techniques for plain old guessing. All these benefits seem to provide their students with the confidence boost to top everything off, and I admit that I did feel inferior to most of my peers at some point for this reason. They all just seemed so put together, so at ease with their binders and pastel highlighters that it made me go through a period of regret and resentment. Do not let the perceived advantage they have blind you, though: do note that even if attending a review school helps you ace the entrance test, it does not measure your aptitude nor your ability to handle the workload that you will have to face as you make your way in the university of your choice.

Because I had to do everything alone, I had firsthand experience when it comes to waging a war with time: it was truly my biggest enemy during this point in my life. It’s obviously crucial to create a schedule and follow it regularly. If you’re anything like me, you’ve read this in several self-help books or heard this over and over again on productivity podcasts but planning truly is key. First, list down all the topics that you want to cover, complete with the estimated time it’ll take you to master them. Then, distribute them per day evenly so you don’t end up overwhelming yourself and cramming so much information in your head that you barely get to retain anything. It’s important to have a contingency plan ready as well, in case you needed more time digesting a particular topic.

Eliminate all distractions while reviewing. This is a cardinal rule for studying in general, so it will definitely increase in importance during a time like this. One thing I found important is to tell yourself why you have to do it, so it’s easier for you to follow through. For example, I’m pretty addicted to watching YouTube videos, so having to cut down my marathons and look at the number of videos on my Watch Later pile up was a bit painful at first. But upon conditioning my mind into thinking that I’d rather spend my five month summer vacation before college binge watching all the videos I had missed out on instead of looking for a university that was still ready to accept me, it was much easier for me to cut down on it.

Remember to prioritize breadth over depth. Cover as many topics as you possibly can, going over the basic concepts and important formulas. Then, knock yourself out with practice tests so that you’re fully familiarized with them by the time CETs roll in, because you never know how even the simplest questions can be twisted around to baffle you. A common mistake most incoming seniors make (myself included) is overthinking what could possibly be asked and going too into detail when reviewing.  In my defense, it seemed like the natural thing to do during a situation of panic but if I had only known, I would have been able to save so much of my time and devote it to mastering everything I had learned.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if ever the need arises, whether it be from teachers, friends or upperclassmen. It might come off as a surprise to some of you, but there are many people who will be more than willing to help you, whether out of pity or genuine human decency. I asked tons of my classmates if I could borrow the notes they received from their review center, so I could learn more than I could have on my own (and maybe even compare their progress with mine). Sometimes, I’d disturb them at ungodly hours and call them up on Messenger to plead them to teach me the shortcuts in problem solving, mnemonics or acronyms. I was never the type of person to do that: honestly speaking, it felt like a direct blow to my pride to have to beg for something. But, it was my future at stake and upon remembering that, I no longer felt any shame [shrugs]

On another (but equally important) note: stay on top of your requirements for the different universities you’ll be applying to. Although they don’t normally start until July or August, it’s much better to get these out of the way as early as possible. Take it from me, who ran around Megamall looking for a photo studio a week before ACET apps needed to be passed. Stock up on ID pictures of different sizes, preferably 1x1, passport size and 2x2. Photocopy important documents like your birth certificate and grades forms, as well as your ID from the current or previous school year. Start thinking of who to ask recommendation letters from, brush up on your essay writing and interview skills and work on your CV if needed. Also, have a scanner ready if you plan on trying out for La Salle, since their application process is purely online. Be sure to keep track of your deadlines: don’t wait around for people to remind you, and please please please For The Love Of God do not cram everything until the very last second.

Strive to finish reviewing over summer break so you don’t have to worry about balancing CETs and academics, which is an entirely different playing field. I’ll come clean and say that I failed to do this, because there were still so many topics I couldn’t understand and questions I couldn’t find the answers to, even with the guidance of the Internet. Let me tell you, it was absolute hell as I didn’t have the time or brain capacity to digest lessons both for school and entrance tests. Please have mercy on yourself and focus on the classes you are to take during the school year, flipping through notes and flash cards sparingly when you have free time.

Now for the part that will probably be most useful to you all: the actual subject matter to study, focused specifically on the entrance tests for the Big 4 universities. Don’t use this as the sole basis of your review, since it’s not a guarantee that the topics covered this year will be the same as the succeeding ones. I remember looking up this one CET tips thread which said that the ACET was going to have mostly geometry-related questions. Since Ateneo is my dream school, I spent a ridiculous amount of time cramming everything from theorems to tangents in my head. So, you could just imagine my surprise when I actually took my test and was greeted by a maximum of four geom questions and a predominantly Algebra II and Trigonometry-centered Math portion.     

ACET

Language proficiency

This test will assess your knowledge on basic grammar: correct usage of verb tenses, S-V agreement, analogy-type and a cloze test, where you are required to fill in the blanks with the appropriate word for the sentence. It also included an essay question about a particular word that differed from session to session. I had to make one on the word “superstition”, so I had written something on how I didn’t believe in them because I was raised by my family with a very strong faith in God. One tip people give out a lot is to try and relate your answer to either love for God or being a man for others, but do it only if it doesn’t come out forced. From what I remember, we were given 50 minutes to answer all of this, and I don’t mean to come off as boastful but English is and has always been my first language, so it didn’t serve as a problem on my part.

Mathematical ability

This test is feared most by previous test takers, and it was only when I crawled my way through it that I realized why it has that reputation. It’s composed primarily of basic algebra, algebra II and trigonometry questions, all of which are quite lengthy and require a decent amount of time to think through, especially if you’re not really the best in this subject.

Abstract reasoning

This test… Boy, what do I even say? It requires you to pick out the figure or shape that completes the pattern. There were 30 items all in all that needed to be accomplished within 10 minutes, and I couldn’t tell anything apart from each other. I feel anyone who tells you they took this test seriously and finished it without breaking a sweat is just messing with you. I don’t think there’s any way to answer this test without turning to our old friend (the shotgun method).

Logical reasoning

This test includes questions with a set of premises that you are supposed to analyze, and a list of choices containing possible conclusions that can be drawn from them. Your task is to pick the most logical one, which sounds like common sense at first. Apparently, this was a topic discussed in General Math, so there is a certain set of rules to follow. Not only did I not remember ever taking this up in my life, but I also skipped it during review so I had to borrow my classmate’s book and cram everything I could during ACET week (DEFINITELY NOT ADVISABLE). There was one part of the test that involved a lot of technical terms, which I did not read about or study but thank God ya girl was desperate enough and ended up finding hints in the instructions!

Vocabulary

Pretty self-explanatory type of test, with 25 words in five minutes. It seems overwhelming, but contrary to popular belief, it’ll be easy even for those who aren’t voracious readers.

Reading comprehension

This test will require you to fully understand the message of the text, and apply it practically or draw sensible conclusions from it. I breezed through this one as well, because I’ve been reading since I was in the womb, but this can prove to be difficult for those who aren’t used to it. I’ve been seeing this tip circulating that goes “Look at the questions first before the passage itself, so you know what to find” and although it can fool just about any lazy reader out there, I tried it for myself during the ACET because I was in the mood and it didn’t help me at all. If anything, it just slowed me down because I was doing twice the work: looking at the question then going over the whole thing to find the answer, then repeating the process instead of just reading the text once.

Numerical ability

This test was all word problems—age, work, mixture, speed—with a dash of ratio, proportion and variation. This was the last portion of the ACET, and not only was my brain fried to a crisp but I was also very eager to leave so this definitely made me want to scream as I was taking it. It could have been much easier if I had memorized the exact formulas, and practiced lots so I could work rapidly without sacrificing accuracy.

DCAT

Mema test

I don’t know the actual name of this test, but I called it as such because it was so all over the place it felt like the ones in charge of making the DCAT looked at the final draft, saw they were an entire subtest short and crammed these questions two hours before the deadline. It was a mix of both abstract reasoning and vocabulary, and was generally easy: the AR patterns were understandable and didn’t require a lot of analysis, while the vocab words were very few and quite common.

Math I

I read in this one CET tips post that this portion was, and I quote, “pretentiously difficult and time-consuming” and it’s absolutely true! It’s big on derivations of formulas and advanced concepts in algebra, it barely had any basics much to my dismay. My mental block during this part was at its peak: I didn’t know how to solve anything, so I simply substituted each of the missing values in the problem with a number and worked it around until both sides of the equation were equal. That obviously took a lot of effort, which stemmed from my refusal to let go of an item until I feel like I’ve tried my best in solving it. But, it doesn’t have to be the case for you, especially if you’re terribly pressed for time: don’t hesitate to skip if you can’t move forward!

Math II + logical reasoning

Undoubtedly the hardest part of the exam, because no one saw it coming and thus, no one was able to prepare for it. And to think I was already warned by my friends who took the DCAT the week before I did to review statistics: I went through my notes from Grade 9 on combination and permutation, completely unaware that it was going to focus on hypothesis testing and estimation of parameters, which we failed to cover in Grade 11. I thought I’d be able to get by, I remember even praying that there would be only a few items but the entire test revolved around it so I almost literally crawled my way through. As for logic, it was alright until they started using technical terms like I had no idea what modus ponus (hocus pocus?) is and I don’t think I’ve ever had to study that in my life, so I think it’s safe to say I didn’t perform well there.

Reading comprehension

This was pretty similar to the ACET, so the same description and tips apply. Nothing to worry about.

EAPP/Research

This test was the plot twist of the year: DLSU completely took out the traditional type of English subtest (identifying errors, vocabulary, cloze test, etc.) and replaced it with citing in APA format, the principles of academic writing and the parts of a research paper. I had no idea that this was going to be included, and thankfully, those who enrolled in review centers didn’t either so we were all pretty much on equal footing. But, I walked out of it without a scratch: I guess it’ll be easy for you if you contribute to the making of your research papers, but if you’re a freeloader, ayan diba sinabi ko sa inyo may araw rin kayong lahat O ETO NA YUN

Science

This test covers the four major areas: earth science, biology, chemistry and physics. It was so much easier than I expected, because it only centered on terms and definitions of important concepts. I was most worried about the physics portion, since I’ve always considered it to be my waterloo, so you could just imagine my relief when I saw that it was very formulas-based and could be aced by anyone who took it up in Grade 10. (Super long run-on sentence, I’m sorry) I definitely wouldn’t have been able to survive it without the help of Tyler DeWitt, the best Chemistry teacher anyone could ever ask for – I found him on YouTube during a moment of desperation and binge-watched all his videos the day before DCAT, and he is probably the sole reason behind my success.

Life skills

The easiest and best part of the DCAT, because it’s simply a test of your character. It provides you with a set of situations, and all you have to choose which one best applies to you—so, yes there are no wrong answers. It’s easy to think that the most logical way to answer would be to feign sainthood and pick which one makes you look like an Ideal Lasallian/Catholic/Person, but I advise you to stay as true to yourself as possible. Those in admissions have probably seen many people apply this strategy in the past, and will most likely appreciate your honesty and view it as a way of seeing a true glimpse of your character.

UPCAT

Language proficiency

I think I was only sure of about 75% of my answers in this test, and to think this was the easiest part of the UPCAT for me as language is supposed to be my forte. Although it revolved around the basics—identifying errors in sentences, cloze set, rearrangement of sentences to form a paragraph and vocabulary—it came in both English and Filipino, which really tired me out early on.

Science

Hardest test of them all, to the point that taking it felt like my brain was getting hit by different trucks all at once. It covered all four major areas, including earth science. There were a ton of tables, graphs and diagrams that needed to be interpreted, and experiments to be analyzed: it’s big on practical applications and understanding of concepts. Don’t memorize any formulas, acronyms and mnemonics as you definitely will not need it at all.

Math

This test ran through a little bit of everything: from basic algebra to geometry, trigonometry, word problems and even statistics, sequences and number theory. It’s important to memorize all the formulas and learn how to solve problems fast even if they’ve already been twisted around. Math has never been my strong suit, so at this point, I was very close to hyperventilating. I even remember shading the wrong circles for ten questions in a row because I skipped one item. I also took around three bathroom breaks at this point, and spent 30 seconds sat on the toilet praying.

Reading comprehension

This was the first time I ever loathed this kind of test, when it’s supposed to be my strong point. It’s just that the previous subtests were so mentally and emotionally draining, that I didn’t have the brainpower to tackle it. It didn’t help at all that the passages chosen for the UPCAT were not the usual narrative types that are actually entertaining to read, but were incredibly information and detail-heavy. (They made really good memes on Twitter, though: no one was over the patis, newsboy or Super Ferry 9 for a long while.) The best thing to do at this point would be to go for the easiest and shortest ones first, to give your brain time to repair and prepare itself.

USTET

Mental ability

This test seeks to assess your common sense through a mix of logical reasoning, analogical and basic language and arithmetic problems. I don’t think I have to give you tips about this part at all, because it’s that easy.

Science

This test also includes question on all four major areas, but the main difference is that there are close to no practical applications of concepts – surprisingly, UST only cares about the definition of terms. Thus, intensive review probably won’t be needed: you could just skim through your notes from junior high school and have a good grasp of what’s going to be included.

Math

This test had mostly basic algebra and geometry, as well as some word problems – nothing too difficult. One other fun thing was that there was so many of the same type of question, so if you have the formulas memorized and a certain technique in answering, you could get so many (if not all) correctly.

English

This test focused mainly on basic grammar, figures of speech and subject-verb agreement. There was also a tiny part about oral communication and research, which I wasn’t able to prepare for but it’s a good thing I actually bothered paying attention to my teacher in Grade 11 or else I wouldn’t have been able to answer a thing.

THE DAY BEFORE – DURING THE TEST

Now, normally people would tell you to rest the day before any big test: drop all books and notes and mentally psych yourself for the battle up ahead in the form of face masks and comfort food. Although it sounded incredibly tempting, I obviously didn’t follow it because I was running short on time and had so many things I had yet to fully understand. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t experience any adverse effects and even retained everything I had crammed into my head. So, you’re technically still allowed to review: run through flash cards and try a bit more practice problems if you wish. The only thing you have to make sure of is that you do not stay up late: sleep is crucial for memory retention and BASTA PARA DI KA LUTANG, and you do not want to realize that you’ve taken it for granted on such an important date.

Pack all your essentials the night before in (preferably) a small backpack that you can easily lug around. Bring two #2 Mongol pencils, an eraser, your test permit, a school ID just in case and food to snack on: my personal favorites of the season were seaweed crisps that I got for a buy one, take one deal in Robinsons Supermarket, raisins and trail mix. Scientific studies in the past have claimed that chewing motions can help stimulate your brain, but I just believe it just doesn’t feel right to engage in battle on an empty stomach. Coordinate with friends who’ll be in the same testing center as you, in case you won’t be able to survive in such an environment without someone to sympathize with you. Personally, I didn’t bother meeting up with friends for three out of my four tests because I wanted to feel independent and possibly run into new people.

If you’re anything like me and you hold on to God for dear life in almost every situation that brings you difficulty, don’t forget to pray for enlightenment and the capacity to accept His will, whatever it may be. As much as possible, try to hear Mass the day before your entrance test. Funny story, I was supposed to do this on ACET Eve, but we got stuck in traffic and missed the opportunity to. I ended up running to my parish while the staff were closing it (I didn’t even know that was a thing – what about the troubled souls who need guidance in the wee hours of the morning!) and muttering the most desperate prayer under my breath in a minute. I even lit a candle outside because I wanted to pass Ateneo that badly. Looking back, I found that it helped me lots because I was able to lift up all my worries to Him so I wouldn’t have to bring them along with me the next day.

On the test day itself, the best weapon to have in your arsenal is a good mindset. Walk into the testing center like you already passed, stroll along the corridors like it’s your first day in that university and look at every question as another step closer to freedom. Do not overthink or panic: I know it is much easier said than done, but it won’t hurt to fake it till you make it (sometimes, in situations like this, it’s the best option available).

Keep track of time limits: don’t be afraid to glance at the wall clock or your wristwatch from time to time so you can pace yourself properly. Don’t take too long on one item: if you don’t know what to do with it in 20 seconds, just come back to it when you have extra minutes to spare. If you’re not sure about the answer to an item, make the most intelligent guess you can by racking your brain for the very limited stock knowledge you have on that topic. Choose one letter to be your go-to choice if you really don’t know the answer: mine was C (for Christ, truly) although I don’t know if that’s still a wise decision because universities might start picking up on this strategy.

Look back on all your answers: if you have the luxury of time, re-read everything from the instructions to the passages to the choices provided, because sometimes, even if you were 110% sure of what you were answering during that moment, you may have missed something important. If you happen to be one of those beasts who come prepared enough and you’re completely sure of everything already, catch a quick nap to recharge those batteries instead of scouting for attractive fellow test-takers. I swear, there will be many more of them in college: at present, it’s best to exhaust all efforts into actually getting a university.

AFTER THE TEST

The minute the proctor makes you put your pencil down one last time and submit the questionnaire forward, let it go. Completely forget that it happened: don’t spend the succeeding days discussing answers with peers, as it will almost always end with you regretting things you can no longer change. Do not keep a countdown until judgment day ticking in your head either: choose to take this time to let your life return to its normal state. Shift your focus back to your academics for the school year, and be preoccupied with your interests once again during your free time. Remember to treat yourself as well, because we all know it’s not easy to study while simultaneously worrying about your future. After all my CETs, I made sure to eat out with my family and spoil myself with chick flick marathons and skin care products. Most importantly, be sure to keep praying as it is the key to accepting what happens in the future and regaining peace of mind. As cheesy as it sounds, trust in God’s plan for You and know that He has a reason for everything that is about to happen.

Now, on to the final stretch: the release of results. (This is a pretty timely thing to be talking about right now, since as of this writing, I’m waiting for UP to make a move within the week) If you pass your dream school—or any university for that matter—congratulations! Your hard work has finally paid off, and the promising future you’ve built up in your head is slowly turning into a reality. Don’t forget to thank all those who made this possible for you: God, your family, friends and teachers who believed in you through every sleepless night and mid-morning breakdown. Remain humble though, and be careful not to gloat in front of those who didn’t pass. I know you’re not really obliged to act a certain way to please them, especially during a time as joyous as this, but it’s all a matter of empathy: I’m sure you’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed. One thing you’re left to decide with if you’re lucky enough to pass more than one college is where you’re headed off to. Personally, it’s course over school: go for the program that suits you best and will help you pursue the career path you wish, since that will do you more good in the future than the reputation of any institution. If you are not entirely convinced by that spiel, do not hesitate to ask help from those you trust most: preferably family members, teachers and counselors. I left out friends, because I don’t think it’s a wise decision to choose a specific school just because that’s where they’re headed.

If you fail to make the cut, however, indulge in your right to cry right now. I’m sure that it must be disheartening, planning out a future in a school that ended up “rejecting” you in the end, but news flash: the race does not finish here! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get ready for the results of the other schools you have applied for. Be sure to surround yourself with only people who are capable of uplifting your spirits and helping you believe in yourself during such a trying time. If the worst case scenario happens and you are left with no college at the end of the day, it’s time to get hustling: look for universities that are still accepting applications (some schools out there have entrance tests every month, and results come out instantly), or send in letters of appeal if ever you truly have your eyes set on a specific campus. That’s not something I have much expertise on though, but almost everything you will need to know is on the school’s official website.

And, there you have it! Everything I could tell you about the college entrance tests! I spent approximately three days trying to kick my writing slump in the ass: my eyes hurt and I may be suffering from carpal tunnel but all of that means nothing as long as I’ve been able to guide one hopeless soul out of the dark. (Yes, I patterned that after my comprehensive guide to surviving Grade 11 – my brain is dying, and I have no time to think of an ending catchier than that.) I’m on summer break now and I’ll be going to Korea next week, so expect a lot of lighter and more amusing content!

Stay in school, kids!

Angel

[budgerigorous]

Suggested Methods of Dealing with Your Personal Enemies

Don’t.

Seriously, don’t. Don’t speak to them, don’t think of them, don’t leave your house. Don’t leave your bed.

If you must disregard my first two suggestions: When, out in public, you inevitably encounter your enemy, be courteous. Like, really, really courteous. It might not do anything, and they might still totally screw you over, but at least you can go to your grave saying, “I had enough self-control to keep my good manners around that asshole, and at least a few people might have seen.”

Through a chain of events too lengthy and mortifying to be fully recounted, drunkenly break into your enemy’s home by accident in a bid to return their escaped cat.

Consider the maxim: “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Strive to know your enemy as you know your most intimate friends. Steal your enemy’s diary, conduct an analysis, and construct a fantastic false self that fulfills your enemy’s most cherished and secret desires. Invite your enemy to go to dinner. Invite your enemy to see a film. Invite your enemy to go steady. Propose to your enemy. Marry your enemy. Buy a house together. File joint tax returns. Repeat this process with every enemy you encounter. Conceal them from each other. Live multiple lives. Years in the future, surveying your extensive network of deceived and hated spouses, realize that, perhaps, the real enemy all along…was yourself.

Consider the maxim: “Man’s greatest enemy is himself.” Strive to know yourself as you know your most intimate friends. Plumb the depths of human knowledge in your quest to fathom your own figurative Lake Baikal. Clone yourself. Clone your clone so that you can watch your clone interact with your clone’s clone. Clone your clone again so that you and the first clone can observe the second and third clones interacting. Clone enough of you to have an orgy. Clone enough of you to staff a restaurant. Clone enough of you to seize and inhabit an area of land the size of a small country. Years in the future, surveying your army of clones, realize that, perhaps, the real enemy all along…was other people.

Come up with a plan to confront your enemy. Gather with friends to discuss your plan. Remind yourself and your friends that your enemy is dangerous. Draw up a map of your enemy's living room. Memorize a list of self-defense mantras. Borrow your friend's pocket knife. Borrow your friend's kitchen knife. Almost borrow your friend's car, but decide against it after borrowing some of your friend's vodka.

Let’s step back a little. You’ve been trying to chase your enemy’s cat towards the open window it most likely escaped through, to no avail. You try the door, and it’s unlocked. The door creaks open. Your enemy’s house is dark. You are singing to the cat, trying to make it go inside. Stop singing when your enemy emerges from the darkness. Shrink back from the door when they gently tell you that you’re making everyone uncomfortable. Leave when they politely ask you to go home. Leave your dignity behind. Leave your alcohol behind. Leave half the sequins on the bodice of your seasonally inappropriate dress behind. You are vengeance itself! You are the night! You are drunk, and crying, and still worried about the cat. Two knives rest, forgotten, in the inside breast pocket of your coat.

[alldolleduppink-blog]

Tangerines

Season 1      Season 2      Season 3      Season 4      Season 5

Season 6 Mulder checked that the small citrus fruit he carried in the pocket of his overcoat was still there. He had grabbed it on a whim on his way to work that morning from the market a few blocks away from the Hoover building.

The good intentions of the store owner had added to his tardiness but Mulder had insisted he keep the one dollar bill he handed him in exchange for Scully’s favorite fruit. The old man had stared at him, mouth agape, wondering why anyone would pay that much for a tangerine. He didn’t have time to wait for seventy-two cents in change because he just wanted to get to work, to see Scully.

The tangerine would hopefully be in her possession before she got borrowed to help another department. That’s how it was lately if they weren’t knee deep in cases over fertilizer. It was a total load of horse manure that he couldn’t get the X-Files back after what had transpired over the summer. He and Scully had handed their case for their reinstatement, including the proof of the alien virus in the bee that stung her, only to have his life’s work handed to two people that would be set to destroy it. More so, he hoped Scully was as adamant and willing as he was to get back to their basement office.

The elevator didn’t offer the usual solace that it did. The other agents huddled towards the opposite corners casting side glances in his direction.

“Rough night, Spooky?” an agent he didn’t recognize mocked as Mulder exited the elevator to the sixth floor.

“I didn’t know little green men took swings at people,” another agent added as the elevator doors shut behind him.

The punch to the face he had received for kissing the 1939 version of Scully was healing nicely but it was still slightly noticeable.

“Gray,” he muttered already feeling like this Monday had gone on long enough. He had to find Scully and fast.

His hope renewed itself when he saw a flash of familiar auburn hair among the sea of employees. He tried to catch up to her but the obstacle course of bullpen members slowed him down. All too quickly, his hopefulness was dashed when he spotted the same redhead go into the women’s restroom.

Dammit.

“Looking for the missus?” a cheerful voice offered from behind which Mulder ignored with a slight groan when he recognized who it was. “She’s down the hallway.”

Agent Caswell was the type to utilize Mulder when he needed something such as fodder for office gossip or a profile on a subject. His intentions for a friendly rapport were transparent and shallow.  Caswell called him Spooky behind his back and lived in the camp that believed Mulder and Scully were sleeping together.

It was a rumor that Mulder would gladly make truth. What had happened, or what had not happened, outside his hallway kept him up at night and further ignited the fervor of his fantasies. However, returning from their ordeal and not addressing what had almost occurred showed just how complicated things were between him and his enigmatic partner. People like Caswell wouldn’t understand that what he had and felt for Scully wasn’t just about sex. If he ever found the opportunity to get Scully into bed, he expected it to be forever. She was his ‘happily ever after.’

“Hallway you said?” Mulder repeated pointing to his left and the other man nodded as if the information would be leading Mulder to a tryst with Scully in that instant. He glared at Caswell for his misconstruing of the facts about them. “Thanks.”

He made his way down the hall and scooped the tangerine out of his coat pocket in anticipation. His hand covered it whole so there was still an element of surprise. His eyes darted all over the place searching for her but turned up nothing. He glanced down and made a face at the fruit in his hand as if it would offer further instruction to her whereabouts. Suddenly he came into contact with someone else as their shoulders collided.

“Oh!” exclaimed a woman’s voice but it didn’t belong to the one he was looking for. “Fox, is everything alright?”

Diana Fowley looked more than happy to see him yet attuned to his agitated state. Mulder didn’t have time to exchange pleasantries.

“Yeah,” he provided hurriedly. “Have you seen Scully?”

“Has she still not been able to find you?” she noted with a slight laugh. “She made quite a scene on Thursday.”

Mulder narrowed his eyes pensively and excitement coursed through him at the thought that during this whole time Scully was just as eagerly searching for him.

“She made a scene?” he asked with a smile playing on his lips.

“She barged into Kersh’s office, threatened Agent Spender and A.D. Skinner scolded her outside an elevator,” she said with another laugh. “It was all anyone was talking about on Friday.”

“Oh, that’s funny she didn’t mention anything when we-,” he started but decided he didn’t want to get into the details of his hospital stay.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “When you…?”

He shrugged slightly indicating that he wasn’t going to add anything else.  

“With the way she behaved, I doubt you can get the X-Files back,” she reproached.

“It’s my fault,” he defended right away. “She’s my partner and Scully was only trying to help me. She’s always had my back and if it weren’t for her-”

“I only have your best interest in mind,” she cut him off. Her hand reached for his but came into contact with the tangerine instead. “What’s this?”

He tossed the fruit up in the air and caught it with the same hand. “A tangerine.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked irritated at him for stating the obvious. He shrugged and made a face at her indicating that she was the one who had asked.

“Since when do you like those?” she questioned and there was another hint of disapproval in her tone.

That summed up their relationship in the past perfectly. She wouldn’t question the things that would challenge him where it counted but rather personal things like his taste in beer, clothes, and now fruit. They were the type of things that reminded him of the accusatory look in his father’s eyes as well as the disapproving but altogether indifferent expression from his mother when he told them he was joining the FBI.

“They’re sweet and I’ve been told the Vitamin C is good for my health.”

Diana stared back at him with a frown. “Fox, the only fruit you consume is the kind that comes in a plastic jug.”

He furrowed his brows in displeasure that she still recognized these type of relevant details about him. He hoped that the same things he knew about her could still be applied or his plan to get the X-Files back was doomed. He enjoyed a cup of orange sugar water now and then but he had changed in other aspects of his life. He was no longer the shell of a man she left behind for better prospects of a career. Mulder still didn’t have his sister and he had lost his life’s work, but he was a whole person now.

“It’s just,” he began but paused to gather his thoughts. He couldn’t forget the smile on Scully’s face and the look in her eyes when she shared why tangerines were her favorite. The fruit had been part of another treasured exchange with her father when she was a child. She had decided to let Mulder in with that little ounce of information and he valued it wholeheartedly. “Great things come in small packages.”

He tucked the tangerine back in his coat pocket and took a step to show he was returning back to his search.

“Your eye,” she interjected and touched the bruise. “Fox, what happened?”

Mulder winced from her touch and at hearing his given name one too many times in such a short period.

“It’s a long story.”

Diana reached for his hand again and began to speak when he noticed the undeniable profile of his partner by the elevator.

“Scully!”

She pressed the button on the wall and turned in his direction, their eyes making contact. He whizzed past Diana and reached her side feeling slightly out of breath at finally having been able to find her. His hand gently grasped Scully’s elbow before reaching its destination at the small of her back. He led them inside the elevator as its open doors welcomed only the two of them.

“What was that about?” she asked curiously but there was a tension in her tone and she slightly raised her chin upward.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he teased. He reached into his pocket and opened his hand with a similar flourish in which a magician would reveal a magic trick. “Tangerine?”

As of late, Scully had been on a bee pollen and yogurt kick and he couldn’t understand the need for that. Without the privacy that their old office provided she tended not to bring food with her and instead opted for the little cafe a few blocks away from the Hoover building.

“Thank you,” she said and looked into his eyes as she took possession of the little orange.

The expression on her face softened and he felt like he was going to get a gold star. She ducked her head and smiled, her lashes fanning over her eyes. He might as well have offered her a bouquet of flowers because it was the same reaction. It was endearing that a woman as intelligent, beautiful, and independent as she still managed to be so modest and unassuming when it came to personal things. This wasn’t the first time he brought her something that wasn’t a case file and she always reacted with a hint of ‘you shouldn’t have.’ He found it hard to believe that she wasn’t fully aware that she was constantly on his mind. At this point, saying I love you was an obvious indicator but apparently not for Scully.

“I’ve been looking all over for you. Where are you headed?”

“To meet with Agent Orosco,” she replied. “She wants to discuss the results of an autopsy.”

“Oh, she’s the one who just had…”

“Yes. A little girl,” she confirmed in a wistful tone. “It looks like I might be helping her out with her case for a few days.”

Mulder nodded and quickly decided on a plan to spend more time together.

“When do you think you’ll be done with Agent Orosco?”

“I’m not sure. Why, Mulder?”

“There’s something in Nevada I was hoping we could look at,” he said lightly as though she wouldn’t make the connection to Area 51 and government offices.

“Area 51?” she asked.

“Scully…” he whispered proudly.

“Mulder,” she intoned letting him know that this wasn’t a good idea.

“Just outside of Area 51,” he bartered.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow but her curiosity was evident. He wrapped his fingers around her wrist. When she didn’t pull away, he felt extremely grateful.

“I need you with me, Scully. As you can see I can’t be left to my own devices or…” He held up his hands in surrender and made a face indicating that he would be a goner if she didn’t come along. She looked up at him with uncertainty but he could tell she was close to complying. She licked her lips and his heart sped up. He needed to entice her further. “I’m sure there will be science things that need your attention.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” he asked but continued before she could change her mind. “I’ll pick you up at seven on Wednesday. I need to sort a few things with a contact but it should be fun.”

@ficlibrary  @today-in-fic

[renlyisright]

Season 8 Episode 3 - The End

The end of the world has come. We are doomed, doomed! No one can stop it!

Or can she?

This episode was movie-long, or would be if movies weren’t so much longer these days. And all of it was battle. Battle, fighting, loud noises, battle. It was exhaustive to watch at the last 30 minutes, I have to admit, but it was earned. After teasing the monsters for so long and setting up the battle for several episodes, this was the time. The show has long since moved on from the battles being quick fades to black to spare the budget, so there’s been a lot of them lately. And now this Promised One should be the biggest of them all, with all the 80 minutes received for watching people die.

Oh, and there’s still three episodes, several villains and the whole game of thrones to go. After the end of the world. Life goes on, which I guess is a positive message?

The episode starts with a quick heads up of where everyone is, and where the armies are, ready to fight. The only thing missing is the enemy. It is out there, somewhere in the dark.

Watching into the abyss. Nothing watches back, or not?

A lone rider approaches, but it’s not a White Walker. Melisandre arrives from the night and gives Jorah cryptic orders. Jorah just rolls with it at this point, and Melisandre makes every arakh of the Dothraki burst out in flames. I have to say, those are some well trained horses. Then Melisandre moves inside the walls.

I feel like I’m hitting the same dead horse every time when I ask about how much does the Lord of Light see beforehand, and what his end goal is? Everyone being in his religion? And since no one can pray for him if everyone is dead, he tells his priests how to save the world.

But the light of the arakhs gives the Dothraki the courage to charge straight at the darkness, which could hold anything, starting from holes in the ground, and that’s the end of them. The greatest cavalry in the world, Dothraki on the open field, snuffed out just like that. And the battle has lasted for a minute.

So, Lord of Light, did you know that would happen? And you did it anyway? Because you needed them - and Ghost! - dead, for some future purpose? To make Jon suffer more? Otherwise the Night King wouldn’t have come forward? Is that what you are going to go with if someone asks?

What I have gathered is that this is not the usual theodicy problem of “If the God is all-powerful and all-good, why do bad stuff happen?” No one has said that the Lord of Light is all-good, he likes human sacrifice. He is also not all-powerful, as his arsenal seems to be “Tell people to do X, and what is going to happen if they do or don’t”, and some tricks with shadows, fire and resurrection. If he was all-powerful, I don’t think he would have the patience for any of that.

Of course, if you can see everything that people will do if you tell them X, then that is very powerful by itself. What have the other gods to offer? The Old Gods, if they are real and the reason Bran has powers, show what happens now or in the past. The Lord of Light can see the future. Or just calculate well enough as to guess mostly right every time?

Anyway, trying to figure out the motives and methods of an extranatural being, whose only interface to the story is through what the priests say, is a fool’s errand. But I don’t like it if everyone turns out to be a plaything for some mysterious thing who is never seen and can’t be punched in the end.

The first part of the battle ends abruptly, a quick breath and here we go for the next hour. On my first watch I couldn’t figure out what was shown in that very short glimpse of the enemy before the camera moved back. On pause I see that it’s a giant wight. It felt like a whole wall of the wights, which put in my mind a funny visual. Think about it, them standing on each other’s shoulders, and then the whole wall of them falling on top of the Dothraki when they come near. Splat.

As they say, what you can’t see is more scary than what you can see… or more funny in this case.

Jorah survived the first clash. Ghost didn’t. Goodbye Ghost, I enjoyed your constant companionship and presence just out of the frame. Maybe he didn’t die, but went there. Just out of frame, living happily ever after.

The dead come out of the darkness and instantly wreck all the defenses the defenders have, catapults, shield walls, everything. That was expected, considering how well shield walls usually hold in TV (maybe ten seconds). Everything becomes confused, Daenerys and Jon attack from above. Why didn’t they attack with the Dothraki? Well, when the enemy leader can one-shot your dragon you don’t go blindly to the enemy in the dark, showing right where you are with fire. Unlike Jorah and the Dothraki. That was very stupid.

Jon sees the White Walkers on the border of the Wolfswood, but before he gets to attack them, the winter arrives. The Night King brought it with him. The winds of winter wreck everything even further.

Nice, I wondered what the Dead can do against two dragons who can burn thousands of the enemy in a minute.

In the confusion of the storm of swords, Sam gets to see one of his last friends die. I was certain that Edd would survive. That’s what he does! He’s the grumpy guy who somehow turns up alive every single time, no matter how unlikely he himself deemed it. And he was a delight. But no. At the same time, Edd represented the last of the Night’s Watch. Jon has moved away to larger circles, and Sam, while still a brother, has been training to become a maester. Edd was the only named character still fully in the black, and after this episode the Night’s Watch is not needed anymore.

In this story, I mean. Is this the end of the White Walkers? Or will they return, one day, when the nights grow cold and the kings forget… Was the Night King the first Night King? And how much of the strength of the Walkers now can be blamed on Craster, who outright gave them more members?

The wildling population has been decimated, and decimated again, and after this night the Walkers are as well, so what is there to guard against anymore on the Wall? I can see it falling out of use if the people think that the Walkers are gone and the Lands beyond the Wall are now empty (and could use settlers from the South side of the Wall, if anyone wants to move there anytime soon). There’s also the matter of the spells in the Wall’s foundations. Can anyone remake them?

The dead’s tactic is to just run towards the enemy in absolutely no formation and then kick, bite and hit it with weapons until it stops moving. I’m sure that there are ways to counter that kind of attack, if it can also counter the enemy having no concept of self-preservation and there being a lot of them.

The retreat happens, with the Unsullied making sure that it happens in good order. I read a bit about Spartan upbringing, which was absolutely horrible, and surprisingly ineffective in action. It was good for propaganda and to make the enemy scared of you, but abusing people for their entire childhood did not actually a supersoldier make. But in this universe it does, and the Unsullied are the best at handling the situation of standing your ground when thousands of moving corpses are pushing your shield.

And then Grey Worm sacrifices them, or would have if they didn’t die already before the trench got lit. Melisandre prays the Lord of Light to light it, and he takes his sweet time with it. To make sure that as many of the Dead are in the trench as possible? Which means waiting until all the Unsullied on that side are dead. Hmm.

Poor Hound, the best weapon they have against the Dead is also the best weapon against him.

Bran goes to borrow the ravens, and locates the Night King. He is just ordering his forces to walk into the fire and stay there. Talk about lack of self-preservation…

It works, they get through and start to make a pile next to the wall.

The next ten-fifteen minutes are a blur of a battle. The wights attack and get further and further into the castle, people die a lot, named characters get to show their great skillz and so on.

In previous large episode-long battles there has been people on both sides whom we have followed and who have their own dreams and plans, and season-long arcs clash in the battle which determines how the rest of the show will go. Comparing them to previous large-scale fantasy battles I watched before this show was a thing (LotR, Narnia, Harry Potter), the difference was exactly that. In those the other side was made up of existential threat monsters, and the possible defeat meant that everyone is dead now and the story is over as everyone is dead. In previous seasons it was clear that some characters would die if they lost, but the show wouldn’t have been over

But this battle, this battle is exactly that. Which is why I had no doubt of its outcome. The Dead have to get defeated, the last episodes won’t be Cersei hearing that the North has fallen and getting on a ship to another continent. But many will die, like in the next scene, where Lyanna Mormont is guarding the gate when someone knocks on it.

They should really get a giant-proofed gate to Winterfell, this is a second time that one has wrecked it. Of course, if all the giants are dead and unmoving after this night, it doesn’t matter.

Lyanna gets a warrior’s death. Shame she doesn’t get to grow old, she would have been a good bannerman and a leader, by the Northern culture’s measures. But she had the choice, and she picked this death and protected her people. Hopefully it mattered, I don’t remember seeing any other giant wights after this one was destroyed so maybe this was the last one and the crypt isn’t breached or Theon smashed to the ground too early because of Lyanna. Thank you.

Jon and Daenerys climb over the storm, and the resulting view is very background-worthily beautiful. Westeros is beautiful when it’s not covered in blood and excrement.

Aaaand there’s the Night King with his dragon. He attacks, and is then gone again, baiting Jon and Daenerys to come back to the storm. They comply.

Arya sneaks around in Winterfell’s library and other rooms, hiding from the wights. The situation has very Battle of Hogwarts vibes. The enemy is in the place which has meant home and safety for this character (for Sansa the Boltons poisoned the place a lot but Arya didn’t see that).

She can’t hide from the forever, and when they hear her, it’s time for screaming and running. And running again. This castle is really big. Finally she gets to Beric and the Hound, and it’s time for a Last Stand.

If Joffrey had been a nicer kid he would have gotten a great sworn shield out of the Hound, he does take the job seriously when he actually cares. But the Last Stand belongs to Beric Dondarrion, he has the most experience.

All three get to the hearth hall, but Beric is too wounded to live much longer. His final death bought the life of Arya. And Melisandre comes to tell that this was why the Lord of Light brought him back so many times. “You’ve kept him alive so that he can die at the proper moment”, Snape would say.

Arya gets the hint of what her role is according to the Lord’s plan. Nice callback to Syrio Forel. “What do we say to the God of Death?” And, as everyone has been saying, Death is what they are up against.

The Night King gets bolder. He goes to attack Winterfell himself. And gets immediately slammed by Jon and Rhaegal. And it’s the dance with dragons as the body of Viserion and Rhaegal go at it with claws and teeth.

The clash of kings ends as the Night King falls into the storm, annoyed. Rhaegal is hurt and goes to the ground, dropping Jon. No idea where it went after that. Daenerys finds the landed riders and starts blasting the Night King with everything she’s got.

Aaand… dragonfire can’t harm him. No idea if it would have worked with the regular Walkers, as in Hardhome that one Walker just walked straight over a regular fire. Anyway, now Daenerys gets to see how it feels when someone else does the same trick as her.

After being blasted by dragonfire, the Night King looks only annoyed. He has just two facial expressions, serious and annoyed. He was given simple instructions: Destroy humans, and now he just tries to do his job if people would let him.

Here’s Jon trying to get a final duel to determine the future of the world. Since the beginning he’s been the greatest swordfighter, who has practiced and fought with ser Rodrik, Allison Thorne, wildlings, Rast, Thenns, wights, White Walkers, Ramsay Bolton, more wights… and now when he meets the final boss face to face, one to one, on the apocalyptic empty battlefield… the boss doesn’t have time for this, he has his job to do, and he can pull thousands of new underlings to deal with Jon.

The feast for crows gets delayed, as the dead defenders rise for a second turn on the same map but on different colors. Now everyone still alive has many many more problems. And from the quick shots it can be seen that the named characters already are almost alone. How did they hold even this long? It’s because of the camera. When it’s not looking, everyone can relax. A long time ago Robert died off-screen but that hasn’t been a problem for characters for a long time.

The Walkers want to be a part of the victory and do some actual walking. And when they do walk, they do it very menacingly, so I understand why it’s their brand.

When the Walkers were seen for the first couple of times in the early seasons, they were usually shirtless. But since Hardhome they have used more clothes. Why?

It will stay a mystery, they won’t tell.

Tyrion spends a lot of time in the crypt thinking that if he just were up there seeing what was happening he would figure out something. Sansa thinks he would just die, and I agree with that, especially as he is so out of his depth nowadays. I didn’t figure out the twist of them being in the crypt and the enemy being able to raise the dead, as obvious as it is in hindsight. But Tyrion is smarter than me and he still missed it. And if I had thought of the possibility before it happened I would have waved it away thinking that the bodies must be too old by now to be of any use even if they could be raised. Well I would have been wrong, they are springy for their age. But Ned isn’t one of them, decapitation has been useful against the Dead. That’s perhaps a relief, Sansa wouldn’t want that kind of a reunion.

Daenerys rescues Jon but makes a rookie mistake of landing in the middle of an enemy-occupied battlefield. Drogon gets swarmed but gets off, without Daenerys. Luckily Jorah is savvy enough to know that Daenerys hasn’t yet not got herself into these situations every time she is in a battle, so he knows to be there to help her.

Music starts. First on piano, then other instruments join in. Last time that happened the piece was called “Light of the Seven”, and it ended with an explosion. So the end is near, the clock is ticking. 

The complete destruction of everything. Jon tries to get to Bran but the body of Viserion enters the arena. Now Jon gets to fight a dragon, on foot. You missed the big boss but here’s a dragon, you get to be a proper fantasy hero, just slay the dragon.

In the weirwood the wights stop attacking Theon, as the Night King has arrived. The rest of Bran’s defenders have died. Theon brought a small force of Ironborn to Winterfell, again, and they were no match for attackers, again. Theon has been deemed a failure and a loser by about everyone (including me back when he tried to be a villain but sucked at it), but he has succeeded in three things now: Saving Sansa, saving Yara, and now saving the world by holding the dead and the Night King back for long enough.

Bran comes back to his body to give comfort to this lost and found man. “You are a good man. Thank you.” Now was this Bran Stark who said that, or The Three-Eyed Raven Who Was Bran Once?

Theon takes his cue and tries once again. And fails. The Night King isn’t exhausted, and kills Theon with a simple stroke. And then it’s the end.

The Night King walks to Bran, and wants to show him how the fear is for the winter. He savors this final confrontation, which perhaps is allowed after so many millennia of trying. Similarly how this episode is the end of those eight and a half years the Others have lurked in my mind, ever since the first vision of them beyond the Wall. No wonder this is also my longest post yet. 

Just when everything was going well for old Nikey, Arya arrives out of nowhere, and goes all assassin on the Death itself. These blue eyes shut down now, and he becomes part of the winter landscape.

The Walkers explode as well, and the Dead fall. The sound of their screeches moves back to the songs and legends.

Epilogue: Now Melisandre is no longer needed for her Lord, so she gets to die. Of her own choice? Does she have any choice? She drops the necklace, and walks out of the castle, to be claimed by the ices of winter, with the fires of the rising sun harboring a dream of spring.

The End.

Or no, wait, there’s three episodes left.

Just how big casualties this battle had, anyway? Is there any sort of army left here for either Daenerys or Jon to challenge Cersei? Pretty much everyone in the end was completely swamped by the dead, it’s lucky there’s anyone left.

Stannis said once (only in the book if I remember correctly), that he used to think that he had to get the throne to save the realm, but then he realized that he had to instead save the realm to get the throne. And then he went and got himself stuck in the snow, because it seemed smart to him at the time.

Anyway, now Daenerys has saved the realm. The hole in the Wall and the giant pile of the dead bodies outside and in Winterfell (or a giant pile of burned bodies) should show to any doubters that it was real. How much of an opinion boost will she get from Cersei’s bannermen and allies for that? Or does it matter at all, as they seem to be happy being under Cersei even though she is, you know, Cersei. And blew up their religion’s most holy building.

So I don’t expect there to be any big riot that would topple her from the throne, the resolution (in the form of a big battle, of course) will happen long before the good people of King’s Landing can do that. I mean, they tried, in the form of the revolutionary High Septon, and it didn’t work.

I have become much more sympathetic to the old chap after his torturing, humiliation of prisoners and pressing for confessions are fading from memory, and Cersei’s reign is on the forefront. His end goal would have been breaking the wheel too, and seeing how the rulers’ main complaint of him was not that he was enforcing horrible laws in the name of his gods, but that he was applying those same horrible rules to them too (how dare he!)... yeah.

There’s not much room left in the show to build up for another Great Last Battle (and it would feel redundant), so Cersei, Euron and the future occupier of the Iron Throne have to be wrapped up without anyone spending a night wondering about the coming armies and the possible end of everything. After the Army of the Dead, how hard can it be?

[prixmiumarchive]

The Parabatai Oath

This may not be news to some of you, but my friend who brought me into the Shadowhunters fandom was unaware and thought it was really cool, so I wanted to write a brief meta post about it. (Thanks, @thethirteenthhouse!)

I should note that I am pretty much a show-only fan (full disclosure view expressed here) so I am only going by that portrayal. One can infer from the Shadowhunters television series that it is going with a worldview that posits that multiple mythologies are real, including one of a Judeo-Christian flavor. The notion of Nephilim is something that is borrowed and extrapolated from the Bible/Torah, etc. Given that, I think it’s fair to assert that Biblical mythology has a place in this world that is pretty solid.

Which brings me to the Parabatai Oath. I was watching 02x03 with thethirteenthhouse and when Jace began to recite the Parabatai Oath, I started to think... this is really... really familiar. And then it hit me.

Cut for length.

The Parabatai Oath is lifted straight out of the Book of Ruth, which is to my knowledge from both Jewish and Christian scripture. My perspective is a Christian one, so if anyone with a more Jewish background wants to jump in and counter my understanding of this passage from my religious background with the way it is viewed from another background, feel free, but I wanted to give a background ans summary for any who might be interested.

A summary of the Book of Ruth (colored by my own perspective) is that it is the story of one of Jesus’s ancestors who was a foreigner to Israel. It tells us that there was a woman named Naomi (later Mara) who had gone to a country called Moab with her husband and two sons. They established a life there and settled down to form permanent roots. Eventually, Naomi’s husband died and left her two sons. The two sons married women of Moab and they continued to live there about ten years. Eventually, both sons die as well while Naomi is yet living, leaving her two daughters-in-law widowed. 

While in grief, Naomi decides that she will return to the land of Israel because she has heard that the Lord has blessed Israel with a good growing season and an abundance of food. One of the ways Israel’s social system at the time was set up to care for the poor was a rule that employed grain harvesters were not allowed to pick up any grain they mistakenly dropped or which fell from whatever vessel they were putting the grain in. Any grain which fell to the ground was free for the impoverished. I assume, then, that even though Naomi was an older woman (or at least middle-aged) her plan was that at least there she would not starve. And yeah, it sucks, but basically the expectation was that most women did not have jobs or professions sufficient to fully support themselves, even if they were capable of some trade. 

Anyway, Naomi’s daughters-in-law pack up to go with her, widowed as they are. And she tells them to go back home even though she loves them because she cannot provide a good life for them. Presumably, they had effectively become her daughters through marriage to her sons, but she had no more male relatives. In this largely patriarchal society, male relatives were not only empowered to but were (at least ideally) obligated to care for their female relatives. This might include sisters, nieces, widowed mothers, and so on. It was heavily reliant on the practice of levirate marriage, however. This is a practice where if a woman’s  husband dies without leaving her a male heir, she is obliged to marry her brother-in-law of nearest suitable station and age (even in cases where it may cause polygamy to my understanding) basically forming a social contract, if not a conventional marriage, where he is supposed to take care of her and attempt to give her a male heir. Then, presumably help care for that male heir, his son, until he is old enough to take on the male responsibility for taking care of hims mom or something like that. And I know, I know, this is gross to any modern feminist sensibilities we have, but bear with me.

The above circumstances explain why socially and economically it was pretty impractical and a mutual burden to take on for Naomi and her daughters-in-law to stay together, even though they were very much family-by-marriage in some sense. Naomi tells her daughters-in-law that whatever their sense of obligation to and love for her, they should return to their home and their families and gods because she cannot hope to provide them with future husbands, or a surrogate father, or anything like that. Orpah (not Oprah) agrees and lovingly tells her mother-in-law farewell.

Ruth, however, cannot stand it. She clearly has a deep bond with Naomi that she refuses to break, whatever the consequences. She loves her absolutely and would forfeit and forsake anything for her. I’ve seen a handful of arguments that this is an example of wlw or sapphic love, and while I’m not here with an axe to grind, I would argue instead that we see a bond that is every bit as strong and deep as a romantic one but which is different in quality. (On the other hand, I would 100% argue that it’s really, really hard to read David and Jonathan as bros, but I recorded their narrative here a long time ago.)

In Shadowhunters, it is said that parabatai being in love with each other is not a good thing. It is my understanding that it is because it would place an undue strain on the bond that is already so powerful and produce dark magic or something, but ask thethirteenthhouse to explain that to me again. So, I would argue that Ruth and Naomi’s bond is the Type for this kind of bond, drawn from the mythology from which the Angel and other things are drawn. Basically, it is a love that supersedes practical reason or practical intent -- it has nothing to do with practical companionship, with romantic love and a cessation of loneliness, with procreation (in the case of people who can procreate together). Instead, I would posit, the parabatai bond is the equally beautiful, altogether more rare bond that forgoes practicality. It promises nothing in return for itself except the fierceness of its own commitment. It is a commitment and love that, while it may strengthen the bearers at times, seems more liability than benefit in a lot of other ways. I would just point to Alec’s straining and suffering when he has been at odds with or looking for Alec as an example. Mutual,committed romantic love is a series of implied promises made to another person that, hopefully, hold that person up, in exchange for those same or similar promises and support and a gratification of longing for that person. It would seem that being a parabatai comes with none of those stipulations or fringe benefits (though I am certainly not belittling them). Being a parabtai is a promise of oneself and oneself alone. Being a parabatai has need of a person as a consequence as much as a prerequisite for the commitment and continuation of that relationship. Being a parabatai would seem, to me, to be a kind of commitment and connection that calls for and promises nothing except you and me against whatever should oppose us and that alone and that is enough.

And so, I leave you with the Parabatai Oath (also known as Ruth 1:16-17):

16 And Ruth said: “Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.

17 Where thou diest will I die, and there will I be buried; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

And the Parabatai Oath adds: “The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

[fallen029]

His Coat

"I can tell why you like this thing."

Laxus was, at that moment, busy flipping through a book of spells over on his couch and didn't spare the woman a glance. "Can you?"

"Mmmhmm," Mirajane hummed as she pranced around in his apartment, the early dawn light filtering softly through the windows and giving her a far better look than the darkness of the night before had when she'd stumbled in there with the man. Across her shoulders, of course, laid his coveted fluffy coat that, honestly, Mira had wanted to snag since their first date.

It just so happened that the two first began seeing one another right at the tail end of winter. The season was growing warmer and, before Mirajane got a chance to accidentally forget her jacket one breezy March day and need his to keep from freezing to death, it was April and warm and, well, that was the end of that.

And it wasn't like they could get caught in a Spring shower or anything and her take it then because, obviously, it wasn't a rain coat. When it did rain, the thing got soaked and Laxus had to take it home to wash it. No chance for Mirajane to disappear with it and never give it back.

Not that that was her plan or anything. No. No way. She wasn't going to like, steal the thing or something crazy like that. Just borrow it. And wear it. Constantly. Around other people. To show them just who had tamed Laxus Dreyar.

Ugh. That in itself was a story, honestly. The man was not someone who was easy to get close to. Coupled with his avoidance to any close relationships and his inwardly self-absorbed persona was the Thunder Legion. And even though Mirajane had long earned their respect, that meant nothing when it came to dating their fearless leader.

Slowly though (and through a lot of breaks as he left on jobs or she just got swamped with work), she found herself becoming less his infrequent date and, somehow, his only one. In return, she said she'd make him the same for her which seemed to irk the dragon as, honestly, he'd thought he was.

The naivety that he had at times was one of the cutest things about him.

Another challenge quickly presented itself not soon after that in Mira's seemingly never-ending struggle to acquire Laxus' favorite coat. Namely, they never went back to his place.

Never. Not even when she was just the occasional date/hookup. Always motels or her house which, honestly, didn't bother her much. She knew that he was a private person and, if for whatever reason he didn't want her there, then fine. It was his apartment, his rules.

You know, until she became the one and only. Then it was more or less a demand that he stop coming over to her house, arguing with her brother, pestering her sister, and, somehow, always messing up at least one room. Usually the bathroom.

Instead, she decreed, they would begin going over to his apartment occasionally. It was only right, after all, for him to invite her there. She was a lady. He should treat her as such.

"Unless, of course," she teased at one point, "you got a secret family there you don't want me knowing about."

He didn't think that was funny, but then, the slayer was rather hard to get a smile out of.

That was part of the fun though and Mira rarely griped. Most every other guy she knew just laughed at her lame jokes in hopes of her letting them get into her pants. It usually worked too. But the fact that Laxus was resistant to this route not only made him all the more alluring, but also a rather fun puzzle to figure out.

At the moment though, there was no studying or analyzing the man. Just one glance at his face told her all she needed to know; he was late for something.

"Do you have something to do today, dragon?" she asked as, slowly, she came to join him on his couch. Laxus didn't glance at her and only turned the page in the book with a grunt.

"Is it practice or something?" She snuggled into the coat, wrapping it tighter around her. If it was too large for him almost, it was humongous on her. "With the Thunder Legion?"

Another grunt and page turn.

"Or is it something else?"

Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly before saying, "I was going to go speak with Gramps about something."

She tried not to look too disappointed that their morning together was ending before the sun was even fully up.

"Oh."

With a shake of his head, he went back to his book. "But it can wait."

"If Master is waiting on you-"

"It was just something I wanted to talk about," the man told her simply. "Not him."

"Was it important?"

"A bit."

"I'm sorry. Do I need to leave?"

Page flip.

"Did I say that?"

That brought her grin back as she bounced slightly, there on the couch, which actually disturbed him and got her a glare, but Mira only gave a sheepish grin in return. Rolling his eyes then, Laxus went back to looking up whatever spell he was trying to find as Mirajane only sat there, knees on the couch as she faced him, looking around after a moment or two.

"I honestly always assumed that you lived in some sort of swanky apartment in the heart of the town with tons of cool lacrimas all around and really expensive furniture," Mira gushed as he only sighed and, still not finding what he was looking for, turned the page.

Then he frowned.

"Swanky?"

Nodding, the woman repeated, "Swanky."

"Yeah, well," he replied with a slight shrug of indifference. "I'm not here a lot. I travel. What's the point of buying anything more than a couch, a bed, a dresser, fridge, and coffee table if I'm never around to use them? Huh? These? What's here? I used when I'm here. And only these. Anything else would just be wasteful."

"But still," she kept up, his coat nearly falling down one of her shoulders as she still continued to glance about. "I just figured you'd want really sleek looking stuff. You know, for when you entertained."

"Sleek and swanky?" Snort. "And I don't have people over."

"I meant, well, you know, women."

And for some reason, she stumbled a bit over that part which was just silly. They were exclusive in the moment, but to pretend like they weren't before was just childish. Laxus had had more than his fair share, she was certain, just as she had.

Another snort. "I don't bring women here."

"Why not?"

"Look at the place." He dropped the still opened book into his lap so that he could motion around.

"Looks fine to me," she remarked.

"Yeah, because I knew you were so keyed into comin' over that I had Freed and Ever detail the place for me. Spotless. Every other time it's filled with beer bottles and clothes everywhere."

Mirajane blinked. "Really?"

"Really," he told her, picking up his book once more. "Demon."

"I always took you as neat freak."

"Nope."

"Huh." Slowly, she sat back on her butt, her eyes keyed in on him then. "Well, I guess you have been alone for a long time. Lived alone, I mean. And if you really don't take people back here-"

"I really don't," he reiterated.

"-then what would be the point in cleaning?" Mira hummed then. "I'm very into cleaning though. As you know."

"If this is about your stupid bathroom, it's your fault for hiding the plunger."

"I didn't hide it, Laxus. It was in the cabinet beneath the sink."

"Should be right next to the toilet. Problem solved then."

"Or you could have just asked."

"And admit what I did? Yeah right."

"Oh and me finding it when you left was so much better."

"It was," he agreed as she only gave him a look. "You know, before you brought it up again. Constantly."

"Because it's disgusting."

"As if you've never clogged a-"

"And that wasn't the point. You left water on the floor for your shower, a wet towel as well, and had shaved without washing your hair out of the sink-"

"I'm a dragon, woman," he growled slightly, if not all together playfully. "A rogue. I know no boundaries."

"Or how to pick up a sponge and wipe out a shower."

"I told you," he complained, "that I had fallen into a mud pit and had to clean off."

"Doesn't excuse you leaving all that crud in the bottom of my shower."

"Can we find another topic? Please?"

Mirajane only got to her feet then, being sure to keep the coat around her as she did so. She was fearful that it was truly what Laxus was waiting for, that if she put it down, even for a second, he'd snatch it up and be out to the door, off to see his grandfather. Honestly she thought that she should just force him to go. How much longer would the man be around to just pop in on anyhow?

But she was greedy, as it was turning out, with the little time she had with her dragon. The closer that they grew, the more she wanted and, though the feeling was returned, Laxus just had none to give her. He was a wanderer at heart and, fine, Magnolia would always be home, but he wasn't someone to sit around and just enjoy it. No. Earth Land was wide and expansive. What would he look like, being (in his mind) the most powerful man to ever walk it and choose to hardly ever leave his childhood home?

And their relationship had been nowhere near long enough for Mirajane to stake any real claim to him, much less make demands of the man. It was fated to end poorly to begin with, they both knew; why give it a further push?

"Do you have anything for breakfast in here?" Laxus heard Mira call from the connecting kitchen. "Dragon?"

"Protein bars."

"Laxus, you can't be serious."

"Do I look like I cook, woman?"

"You look like you eat."

"You-"

"Here." She was coming back into the tiny living room then with the previous bars he'd mentioned. "Want one?"

She only tossed it at him though as she passed and he watched her head into the bathroom then, though it was just to take another peek. She'd seen it the night before, after all, right before they finally, truly called it a night. Laxus was kinda glad then that he'd forced the Thunder Legion (minus Bickslow) to tidy it up; if she thought he left her bathroom dirty, she'd have died if she saw how he usually kept it.

"I like the tile in there," she offered up as she came to, once more, join him on the couch. Only that time she sat on her butt, not facing him, focusing more on her breakfast. One thing about sleeping over at Mira's was that she made him breakfast if he managed the whole night. Once finding that out, he almost always did.

"Yeah," Laxus mumbled through a mouth of protein bar. "It's really...tile like."

He felt the eye roll. He just did. Don't ask how.

"Anyways," Mira sighed after a long pause in which Laxus turned the page a bunch more. Whatever he was looking for (or at least pretending too) must have been rather serious. "I suppose I should take off soon."

That time she got a slight shrug.

"Do as you wish," he told her simply. "I'm not forcing you out. You only pined after this place for months, after all."

"I did not pine."

"You pined."

"Oh, whatever."

Again, they both fell silent and Mirajane, still bundled up in his coat, slowly found herself snuggling up to the slayer. He allowed this, absently looking over page after page in that dang book. Finally, Mirajane found herself asking what he was searching for.

"It is quite the advanced book," he informed her. "There's a mage I encountered out on my last job and I cannot place his magic. I was going to ask Gramps about it."

"Oh. That was all?" Mira settled into him even more. "So I am truly not keeping you from something?"

"Believe me, demon," he grumbled, "if you were, you'd be gone by now."

She didn't, but that was okay.

As more light flooded the room and the sun only rose higher, Laxus got no closer to finding what he needed and just dropped the book in his lap before staring up at the ceiling with a slight moan. Cuddling closer to him, Mirajane shut her eyes in contentment.

Then Laxus spoke.

"I'm gonna catch a shower," he told her simply though he did not move to do so. "And then head out to see Gramps. I wished that I could figure this out on my own, but why waste time when the old coot might actually know exactly what it is that I need, huh?"

Mirajane only hummed. "I should be on my way too. I work the afternoon shift, after all. I want to go home and take a long soak in the tub and just relax. Not to mention my do...stray that I see occasionally is probably in need of something to eat."

Grunt. "I will see you at the hall then, later."

"See you."

And Mira was the first to get up, though that was to go to the bedroom and gather her clothes. She had, after all, been wearing only one of his button up shirts back out there in the living room. Even with her dress back on, however, Mirajane put no thought in slipping the slayer's coat right back on and heading first out of the bedroom and then towards the apartment door.

"I suppose," she heard Laxus complain from the couch where he was still very much so seated, "that I should keep the place clean from now on?"

"You mean have your slaves do it for you?"

"They gladly do my bidding."

Heh.

"If what you're asking," she sighed as she only stood at the door, one hand on the knob, not looking back at him, "is if I liked spending the night, then yes. Your bed is...comfortable."

"Told you, I never get much time to spend in it."

"Mmmm."

"We can stay over here some," he told her simply then. "More often. I just… I'm not big on taking women into my space."

"But you're all fine with screwing theirs up."

"Mira, you're gonna have to get over this bathroom thing."

Uh, no, she wouldn't. He'd have to get over the idea of her getting over it was more like it.

"See you at the guild then, dragon," she sang as he still only sat there, watching her leave. "Tonight."

"This afternoon," he corrected and, with a giggle, she took that as her cue. She was just turning the knob, however, when he spoke again.

"And demon?"

"Yes?" she sang, pausing once more.

"You're really intent on taking that with you, aren't you?"

"Oh, this?" She dropped the knob to reach out and pat the coat around her shoulders.

"Yeah." His voice had no play any longer. "That."

"I'm thinking about keeping it until tonight."

"Really now."

"Uh-huh."

"I'll be getting it back...right?"

"Do you not trust me, Lax?"

"You've only taken five of my favorite shirts and both of my favorite watches."

"You left those shirts over at my house."

"For you to wash! But now you won't give them back."

"I have to have something to wear to bed."

"The wat-"

"And to keep time with."

"They don't even fit your wrist!"

No, but they looked really nice among her jewelry on her dresser. Expensive.

"Dragon, I have to go. I know that you just want me to, like, move in and keep you company-"

"What?"

"-but please, be understanding."

Growl. Then, "Take it. You thief."

"I'm not a thief. I'm a borrower."

"Oh, sure."

"It's true." And that time she opened the door to head out. "Ask anyone. This is just what a girlfriend does."

And she was one hundred percent right, she thought. Until, well, a few weeks later when Laxus found himself back at her place once more.

"What are you doin'?" Mira yawned tiredly as the man got out of bed in the early pre-dawn hours. His moving hadn't woken her, but rather the sound of him going through her dresser in the corner of the room. "Lax?"

"Oh, nothing. Go back to sleep."

"Mmmm." She snuggled back into her pillow. "Lose something?"

"Nope." He got to the drawer he was looking for then and stared into it with a slight smirk. "Found it."

"Huh?"

"What I's lookin' for." Laxus held down a yawn as he slowly pulled out the first pair of underwear, looking them over. "I'll just be taking these and, ooh, these lace ones right here and, demon, why don't you wear these for me right here? Hmmm? You been holdin' out on-"

"What are you doing?" And suddenly, Mirajane was wide awake. "Laxus? Put those down. Wha- Don't put them in your pockets."

"Oh, no, yeah, they're mine now." He shoved a few more into his jean pockets before glancing back at her. "Since we're taking shit."

She frowned. "Am I dreaming?"

Nope. He'd just been laying there though, thinking about how much he'd hated his most recent job and, not because he'd failed at it, but rather he hadn't had his damn coat to make him look imposing and awesome. And, well, if he couldn't get his coat back then he was at least taking a few keepsakes of his own back to his apartment.

"I think I'mma head out, Mirajane. Sun'll be up in an hour or so and I'd just feel dirty, you know, walking around the streets with pockets full of panties."

Yeah. Somehow he was able to say that last sentence without breaking into a chuckle. Laxus was a truly committed.

"You're crazy. Come back to bed."

"Nope. These are mine now."

"What are you even going to do with-"

He turned then, just to look at her in the darkness. "Do you really want to know?"

And they both just stared. Then with long sigh, Mirajane said, "I take your things because I want to wear them and feel close to you and let others know how close we are."

"Nothing says close like me jerking one out in your underwear."

Still no cracking. Laxus was void as ever.

Mirajane, however, wasn't.

"Get out."

"That's sorta what I'm trying to-"

"Laxus, just… Fine. You want your coat that badly?"

Arguing with him had woken her up somewhat and, with a groan, she moved to tumble out of bed and go get it from the closet, where she'd hung it at the end of the night. When he didn't stay over it usually wound up in bed with her, as a blanket, even when it was far too hot for such a thing.

"Here." She even threw down a sniffle as she went to hand it over. "All I wanted to do was wearing it. You'd think you'd like that."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know." He'd taken the coat and was turning then to put her underwear back in its drawer. She watched in displeasure. "You like it when I wear your shirt."

"Meh."

"Laxus-"

"I don't get it, Mira. Why do you have to take my stuff?"

"Because it's...I don't know. I just like being close to you. You're always gone and I get so lonely."

Grunt. Then, "I get lonely too. Hence the panties."

"Alright, I let it slide before, but seriously, I'm about to kick you out."

Heh.

Closing the drawer when he'd put all the panties away, Laxus glanced back at the woman.

"You want my coat that badly, woman?"

"I don't, like, have to have it. I just like wearing it to the hall and around town and talking in a deep voice to people, like I'm you or something."

That last part was news to him and Laxus had to blink. Then he sighed and handed her the coat.

"Keep it then."

"Laxus-"

"It's still mine." Turning back to the dresser, he snagged his watches. "And so are these."

"I like looking at them though."

"Mirajane."

Sigh. Snuggling his coat towards her, she watched sleepily as, with his watches retrieved, the man went to go pull on his discarded shirt from the night before as well as his boots.

"You're really leaving?"

"Early training session." He put on one of the watches, admiring it, before glancing at her. "Go back to bed. I wasn't really going to leave with your underwear."

'You were too."

Maybe. But just to prove a point.

Still, Laxus waited for her to get back into bed, snuggled up with his jacket, before he left. Going over to her bedside first, he grinned as he patted her on the head.

"You really like it?" he asked softly as she only grinned up at him. "My coat?"

"I love it."

That was the first time that that word had been used between the two of them and, for a moment, Laxus' face tensed and Mirajane worried she'd said the wrong thing. Just as quickly however, he was leaning down to gently nuzzle his forehead against hers.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I love it too."

And she blinked, still clearly tired, but Laxus only straightened before, with a slight wave, turning to leave the room. Even after he was gone though, Mirajane only laid there, snuggling the coat to her as she drifted off once more.

Mmmm.

She really did love that coat. A whole bunch.

Except when her panties were involved. Err...eh. Maybe even then.

[3ennyj]

Randonneuring on a brakeless track bike.

I never knew what a randonneur is or does till about five months back. Heck I couldn’t even pronounce the damn name. A randonneur is a chap who rides long distances unsupported within a specified time frame, with distances starting at 200km unto 1200km. A seasoned randonneur would classify a 600km brevet as “difficult”, which usually entails two nights and a day of continuous riding, the idea being to complete the course within the 40 hours time frame. Me being the chap I usually am decided do a 600km brevet, my “first” brevet, on my everyday steed, a brakeless track bike in gods own country, Kerala, aptly called the Exotic Malabar Coast 600 BRM which runs from Cochin to Payyannur along the beautiful malabar coast of Kerala, known for a lot of amazing things, of which the one that really stood was the Biryani! To me Calicut was this place I’d always heard growing up, Thallaserry was a name of a restaurant in Bangalore, Mahe was Union Territory in Kerala that I read in my geography books and Payyannur was this quaint town up in the north of Kerala which I had only heard of since my friend was from there and that they we were famous for this crazy ritualistic dance called Theyyamm and that they love repeating letters in words there. In summary this is one gorgeous route to ride not to mention I rode an entire night in the rain, torrential thunderstorm type of rains. It’s monsoon season in this part of the land. That being said, this was going to be my only other long distance ride since my ride to Goa this New Years on the same track bike, difference being, the ride to Goa was a 600 kilometre trip spanning three days covering a little more than 200 kilometres each day with ample rest (in lodges) and an awesome ride partner and friend. While this time around, I was doing a solo, 600 kilometre trip (brevet) which was timed event with a time limit of 40 hours on an unknown route (though I am originally from Kerala).Unlike my Goa ride, I was using an easier gear ratio of 48x19, which meant that I’d have to spin more (more pedal rotations) as compared to the 48x18 to maintain a comparable average speed, based on my experience riding to Goa, I was hoping to benefit from this, I’d soon find out.

I never knew endurance riding is something I was going to get into, I mean I love riding bikes and I guess that’s the only pre requisite you need. You can basically do anything on a bike, be it commuting, racing, touring, tricks or just aimlessly riding. Riding a brevet is something else altogether, it needs a bit of preparation since you’re self supported and self sufficient, which means any sort of mechanical or biological failure, and well that’s the end of it! I had about three days to prepare for this as this was a last minute decision I made as with all my decisions. I borrowed lights, mud fenders, frame bag, saddle bag, and a drop bar from friends in Bangalore before I drove down to Kerala with my folks and my dog. Since my last training ride I did was way back in May, I decided to ride from my grandparents house in southern Kerala to Cochin which was a good 110kms, complete with hills, potholes, violent headwinds, cross winds, crazy traffic, mixed with city and highways and awesome flat sections. Training done! During the registration process the organisers and other folks there were quiet baffled when they learned this was my first brevet, more over the bike I was using had just one gear, a fixed gear and that it was brakeless, my beard length was probably secondary now. I checked into a motel nearby and had a sound nights sleep.

The first leg

Started with a final few checks to my bike with the mechanic at the LBS in cochin called The Bike Store which was also the start point for the Brevet. 4PM was departure time. Since the city routes were unknown to me, my new friends asked me to stick with the guys upfront, who planned to ride out fast and hard to beat the traffic, as checkpoint 1 and 2 were within the city itself. Ride hard and ride fast we did. I stuck to the wheel of the fastest kid on the block, this young lad who I feel has a very promising career in the Indian road cycling scene. We covered around 30 kilometres in an hour and 10 minutes in the thick of Cochin’s crazy traffic. The next checkpoint was a 100kms away at Ponnani, and so had begun the solo leg of my brevet. I rode close to 85% of my ride solo, the thing is you get to ride at your own pace which I feel is a very important requirement especially when you’re participating in an endurance sport which pushes you to your limits. My ride to Ponnani was a first of many sorts, it was the first time was riding in the night for such a long distance, fully loaded and it was also the first time I did an all nighter while it rained cats, dogs and fishes! It was definitely a night of firsts. I managed to reach Ponnani within four hours of leaving my last checkpoint, which was quiet frankly a decent pace as one of the volunteers admitted. I was amazed myself. I treated myself to a sumptuous dinner of boiled rice, dal and mixed veggies at a local restaurant near the check point. Since I was still high on energy I made this a quick dinner break, complete with an Instagram update and an excellent Kattan Kappi or black coffee. 

Next stop was Calicut which was a mere 70 kilometres away. I planned to reach Calicut by midnight, but that wasn’t going to happen. Little did I know the road to Calicut was 70 kilometres of potholes, narrow streets and off the grid sort of navigation through little unknown towns and villages. To top it all the rains picked up pace and I was literally caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. So here’s the thing, I love the rains, I love riding in the rain, and I hate the day after which means, cleaning my bike. So riding in the rains wasn’t much of a problem. Riding a fixie in the rains is way more comfortable and I swear way more controllable compared to a free wheeling bike as you can feel the road and thus gauge the traction off the wheels. There were sections that were pitch black with no working street lights, and since these were borrowed lights I had them in a single mode which gave me lighting of sorts such that I didn’t misjudge the sides of the roads and jeer off into the slush that was accumulating with the continuous downpour. The last 20 kilometres to Calicut we were back on the paved NH17, which fortunately/unfortunately had poor lighting, smooth roads and lots of truckers. For a brakeless city rider this wasn’t intimidating but it sure was high. A good fucking high! I would do mental computations in my head calculating distances and average speeds to my final destination by reading the milestones and check the time on my G-Shock as I did not use a Garmin for this ride. I wanted to keep the ride as equipment free as possible. Little did I realise this actually worked, and helped me with my concentration. A biker pulled up next to me and started talking to me, the rains had subsided now and was only a minute drizzle, the types you feel when you spray a perfume or something. I picked up my pace hoping that he’d understand that I want to be left alone, but he stuck to my side and started asking me questions. He turned out to be a good chap, and we spoke for the next 10 kilometres up until I reached Calicut limits. The outcome was fantastic as I had upped my pace, averaging a good 30-35km/h, and the biker was astonished for the fact that I was managing to pull off a speed like that, he was even more amazed that I was doing this on a bike with just one gear for 600 kilometres. He asked me the value and I told him it was worth 15,000 bucks, all I had to do was divide the original value by 25! Nonetheless, with the rains back I was now entering Calicut city, I asked an auto wallah for directions and here I was at checkpoint four, beach side, four hours later and drenched to my mittens! I love the beach. It gives me immense energy, just what I needed. The volunteers did a fantastic job of organising home cooked meals they had veggie options thankfully which I devoured, they they also gave a lot of inputs regarding the route, road conditions up until the turnaround point which was now just 120 odd kilometres away. This was the fastest time i had taken to complete 190 kilometres, just under 10 hours, which was record of sorts for me. I ate, rested and chatted with a couple of other riders who had reached before me which gave me  a total of 35 minutes off the bike. I did notice some of the riders were facing mechanical failures, snapped chains, slippery brakes, muck and sediment deposits on their derailleurs and of-course punctures. I had no so such issues, thankfully! Now energised I was on my way to checkpoint number five which was around 70 kilometres away at this place called Thallasery, known for its unique biryani, this route would take me via Vadakara and Mahe, as these were the waypoints I locked on to maintain my timing. It was around 0200 when I left Calicut and my objective was to reach Thallasery by 0400-0430 in the morning and reach the turnaround point by 0630-0700, thus giving me three hours of sleep by which I could hit the road by 1030. Such a wonderful plan I was thinking, except that it was still raining cats and dogs, it was pitch black with street lighting off and on, with truckers providing me three seconds of that glorious runway lights and that I was getting exhausted with every passing kilometre. I kept myself occupied with these mental math calculations to keep me focussed and awake. Believe me I suck at math, like I’m slow at calculating, and for the first time in my life, being slow to calculate actually helped! I was now going to pass Vadakara, and I remembered what the guys at Calicut told me, avoid the bypass and cut through the city. Cut through the city I did, it was like passing a ghost town, there wasn’t one soul on the street, no life absolutely. The road was like a roller coaster too, massive uphill climbs followed by rolling decents, this was just the start as the terrain was now changing from a moderately flat coastal route to hilly coastal route up until Payyannur. What I did notice entering Mahe was that being a Union Territory, the road which is also the NH17, it was littered with alcohol shops, I mean that one street would put Bangalore to shame! I breezed by Mahe just like every other town I was passing by, the rains had subsided by now,  it was funny, as though the gods were joking around with us. I was now nearing my next check point of Thalleserry, and I was well past my initially calculated time of arriving there by 0400-0430. I finally did reach Thallasery by 0515. On arriving the volunteers were fast asleep inside their car which was this gorgeous sea facing hill. I woke them up, stocked up on chocolates, water and was back on the road within 20 minutes. I was now less than 60 kilometres away from the turnaround point at Payyannur. Back to mental maths again, usually on a ride to the outskirts, I’d average around 30km/h which means two hours to the turn around point, so I gave myself time until 0800 to reach which would still give me two hours of sleep as I wanted to get back on the road by 1030. I was satisfied with the way things were panning out. My next point of interest was Kannur or Cannanore, I think that’s the place St Francis landed in India and brought Christianity to the sub continent, I was passing by some historical places on this route, but all I cared was to reach Payyannur and take a nice warm shower and sleep! By now my left knee started to pain. I had this pain while riding to Goa as well. Little did I know that this pain on my knee was going to hit a new threshold. I guess the pain was bound to happen, I mean I’ve ridden 260kms with no chance of coasting, basically I earned every kilometre by rotating my crank 46,000 times until now. By the time I reached Kannur, the sun had risen and I was now seeing people on the road, it’s so refreshing when you see life on the streets. I was watching the TV show last man on earth and I kind of know what he meant by seeing life on the streets. I had to do something about my knee pain, with the pharmacies all closed I was on the look out for a hospital en route. I finally found a hospital on my way out of Kannur and hurried to the pharmacy to get myself one of those pain reliving sprays. I didn’t know that if you spray this on a sweaty body it burns like it would burn Count Dracula! After a few minutes of jumping around I was back on the bike and, now just wanting to reach the turn around point at Payyannur. The organisers and the volunteers had told us riders about a detour via the inner roads that would bring us right back on NH17 onto the turnaround point which was a hotel on the highway, which could help us by shaving of 3kms and save us the cruelty of the hilly sections up ahead, on the contrary I missed out the left turn which was long gone as I had now stumbled across another rider who told me the left turn was up ahead instead. I took my phone out and swung right into Google Maps exploring the options I had, there was a left turn ahead, but and it was through the insides which I wasn’t sure of, I took it nonetheless as I was saving a good 3kms to reach my destination. The next 45 minutes was one of the most toughest times of my life, with an aching knee, a busted ass, exhausted and 300kms into my ride, I was navigating through some crazy hills and potholed ridden roads. I was now looking for a store that had some vaseline, as my ass was now sore. I remember seeing a board that said six kilometres to Payyannur, my mental maths was now telling me that’s the distance to MG road from home, 20 minutes more and you’re there, finally I see the board I’ve been looking for, Green Park Hotel, 500 metres away! Man the happiness I felt! Once I was 50 metres I could see the volunteers waiting with smiling faces directing me to get into the hotel. I finally reached at 0805. One of the guys helped me find my way into the convention hall which the organisers turned into a makeshift sleeping space for the riders, complete with a mattress, cooling fans, pillows and a nice warm blanket. I found my way to the showers, cleaned up, got into a set of new clothes and jumped right into bed. I set my alarm to 1030, with a planned departure by 1045. And boy did I pass out! Never have I slept so well!

The return

1030 the alarm goes off, I did a few calculations again and decided to sleep for another 1 hour, yeah right! I finally crawled out of bed only by 1200 after much hesitation. The three and a half hours of sleep was much needed. I later sync’d up with another rider who is a legend of sorts in the randonneuring business, and we left the hotel together in search of a lunch spot to carb up for the return journey to cochin, another 313 kilometres. I had 19 hours and 30 minutes until cutoff. Easy, I thought. We found a restaurant near by and belted a veggie thali that costed a mere 70 bucks! As we got back on the road we bid adieu as I really needed vaseline for the arse. Lubed up I now continued on the regular NH17 route, not the one I’d taken earlier in the morning, which had the most horrendous roads and an utter waste of time. This section did have some serious climbs, but hey nothing like a “bit” of climbing to start the day with. I find myself pushing much harder on climbs than on flats for obvious reasons, you’re on a fixed gear bike, with no option to gear down, so the only option is to push your ass off the seat and climb that hill. I love that feeling, and once on top, the best part is descending. Since I was on a 48x19, I was spinning out on a few sections, and that’s when we fixie fuck boys do something called “hill bombing”, get your feet of the pedals and just let the bike fly down. Deceleration is controlled by smashing your shoes above the tyre and burning rubber and synthetic. The feeling is surreal! I did get a boat load of stares by passerby’s, a few of them were quiet amused at the sight of a bearded guy going mental on a bike that they were recording this sight. I wonder if there’s any way of sourcing those videos. 20 kilometres of rolling hills and descents did an amazing job of setting the tempo for the rest of the ride, my legs were now in jello mode. However the searing pain which had started to develop on my knees was still there, in-fact my right knee started to develop this pain as well now. I was in for a beating as I still had close to 280 kilometres until Cochin. I had noticed a kid on a MTB up ahead, but he didn’t look like he was a part of the brevet, as I couldn't see his bib number, nonetheless this kid decided to draft behind me, which got me thinking why would he do that. I mean I was on this fixed gear bike battling it out on the climbs and here’s this kid riding off my wheel, which in a way helped me, as I started pushing really hard. The poor chap must have clung of for a few minutes before he dropped back. I didn’t stop pushing though, I passed by four other riders before entering Kannur, I was making a good progress. My next checkpoint was back in Calicut which was now 90 kilometres away. I planned to pit stop at Thallasery which was around 25 kilometres away to grab some of their famous biryani and get some rest. While leaving Kannur I found a tender coconut seller, it’s funny that I didn’t see anybody else selling tender till now. The guy was kind enough to give me route advice and told me to take an alternative route bypassing the highway which went through two small towns instead which would give a 3km advantage basically. Apparently couple of other cyclist had passed by him earlier this morning and he’d given them the same advice. Being a Sunday, these small towns were empty, hardly any one in sight, which was good, as there was virtually no traffic. In an event like this, every kilometre shaved off adds so much additional time over the long run. I had plans of reaching Thallasery by 1500, the time was around 1400 already. I had to step up pace. It was only now that I was able to yonder at the beauty of the Malabar! Rolling hills along the coast of the Arabian sea dotted with coconut tress on both sides, the sounds of the ocean which was drowned out last night because of the incessant rains, I was now witnessing the beauty. In an endurance event like this, I feel one of the key requisites is that you appreciate the beauty of your surrounding around you, it adds a whole new dimension to your ride. Every time I peeked into the horizon, I would temporarily feel free, thoughts of the remaining 250 kilometres would disappear and the searing pain on my knees would suddenly feel painless. These were the moments that kept me going. I finally arrived at Thallasery at quarter past three. 

I found a sea facing restaurant adjacent to the checkpoint I’d stopped last night, and ordered a veggie thallasery special. Took a few snaps of the bike facing the sea and I was back on the road within 20 minutes. It’s funny how fast a hungry, and tired human can gulp down a massive plate of biryani, even the waiters were looking at me in astonishment. I was now 70 kilometres away from Calicut. I planned to reach the checkpoint by 1800 effectively, but that for obvious reasons was not going to happen. By the time I reached Vadakara, my knees were literally felt they were going to pop open, I had to stop and get a painkiller, else this wasn’t going to work. The same quiet ghost town from last night was now bustling full of people. I found a pharmacy right next to the local government hospital and explained my situation to the pharmacist. He gave me four tabs and told me not to pop four within a days time, and that I should space the consumption of each tablet by a minimum of six hours. He also wished me luck and was thoroughly impressed with what I was doing. Within minutes of popping the first tab, I could feel a sense of relief. Once on the highway I noticed that traffic movement had slowed down. I mean the last thing you’d expect is a traffic jam on a single lane highway! Traffic jam it was. By the time I got myself out to the front, I had already lost 30 minutes of precious time, I couldn’t figure what caused the traffic jam, as there was no accident, I’m guessing however there must have been a VIP/minister going past one of those small towns out there. I was also quiet surprised that my bike was into shape, despite the muck on the chain from last nights downpour and the lack of lubrication, she was still moving, not as smooth though. No flats till now. I had well crossed 1800 and still no sign of Calicut, I pulled over next to a traffic cop and asked him how far was Calicut, his explanation was quiet simple, cross three bridges and take the right to head no to Calicut Beach Road. It’s always a love hate feeling when approaching a checkpoint, you’re happy for the fact that you’re so near, and you’re mad that despite being so near, you’re still not there yet, that sense of frustration keeps working against you and I swear that battle is worse than the physical battle. I usually get on to my drops and go full gas at moments like this, and that’s exactly what I did. I remember flying past these two riders who I’d later meet at the Calicut checkpoint and would end up riding with them until Ponnani. I finally did reach Calicut at 1900, one hour behind schedule. I had 13 hours and 173 kilometres to my destination and final checkpoint.

Sufferfest

The Urban Dictionary describes sufferfest as, “A workout or race in the arena of endurance sports that involves prolonged suffering on the part of all who participate”. I believe my sufferfest was only about to start now. In the next 20 kilometres to be precise. The two riders who I’d passed by and later met at the Calicut checkpoint were now riding partners, since they were local Calicut lads I decided to stick with them to guide me out of the city which is a disaster to ride in on a Sunday. We made a quick pitstop to carb up yet again at a local restaurant. By the time we left Calicut it was 2030, they were good company talking and telling me all about the routes and their experience so far on this brevet. They were mighty impressed with the fact that I was on a fixed gear bike, that too brakeless and were in disbelief when I told them this was my first brevet. The ride out from Calicut is quiet confusing, in-fact the previous night when I found myself self directing myself into Calicut, it all seemed so different now. It felt like a weird LSD trip in all honesty. I had no recollection of the number of turns, I had taken through the narrow winding roads that led to me to Calicut, all I remember was the road to Ponnani was atrocious and rigged with pot holes. I was ready for the challenge. Once we got onto the highway we bid adieu and I increased my pace as I was doing a moderate pace to keep with the guys guiding me out. Ponnani was now about 50 kilometres away. The thing about bad roads is when you’re riding a track bike which is built with the most stiffest aluminium composites and when you run 23c slick tyres, its asking for trouble. No trouble for the bike, but trouble for your bike. My back, my arse, my legs, my knees and my palms were at the receiving end of this torture. To top it all the rains were back and my front lights packed up too. My average speed dropped from a smooth 26km/h to less than 15km/h based on my awesome calculations I was doing. This felt like the longest 50 kilometres I had ever done my entire life, in-fact I didn’t really care if I reached Ponnani at all. All I wanted was good smooth roads. I cursed the Government of Kerala for the duration of my ride to Ponnani. I couldn’t understand how corrupt and useless they could be. I later learnt that the organisers had recce’d the route just two weeks prior and the roads were in perfect conditions. Within two weeks of the monsoons the roads were back to square one. Some sections were so bad that I was literally playing the game two dots. Finding the perfect link across a golf ball dimpled road. Believe me I’m not exaggerating on the road conditions. A lot of abuses were hurled. I finally reached Ponnani around  0100. It took me more than four hours to cover a distance less than 50 kilometres. I decided to stop over at the same restaurant I stopped over the previous night for food and a kattan kappi. To my surprise the two gents who escorted me out of Calicut also stopped by the same place. We were now 99 kilometres to completion. I entered the restaurant completely exhausted and left the place jumping with energy. My knees were clobbered by now. I popped my second painkiller. I offered a tab to one of the guys who passed the offer, while I later learnt he regretted doing so. The suffering and pain was getting real to be honest. The last 99 kilometres felt much like the opening stage of a trip on magic mushrooms. Everything felt different. I remember meeting the four riders who were ahead of me for the entire duration of the race, we teamed up and formed a pace-line. We must have been doing 33km/h for a good 20 kilometres, when I peeked back I realised I dropped the guys and was doing my own pace. It’s odd that in your last few kilometres, how the mind overcomes physical pain. The phrase “Shut up legs” makes absolute sense. In-fact it was more like shut up knees, shut up back and shut up arse! I finally reached the end of my ride at 0550 at The Bike Store, Cochin. I completed my first ever 600 brevet in 37 hours and 50 minutes on a brakeless track bike.

[pkgam]

The Evil Of Video Game Microtransactions And Patches

Yep, this is the post that the Zelda Season Pass inspired me to finish. It’s like the one about pay-to-download games, which is similar, but not the exact kind of topic. Also, my posts about Microtransactions on Nintendo’s Miitomo and Konami’s bologna and talk about Cow Clicker. aren’t super detailed or anything. So it’s truly time I finish this one because it’s more important than ever. In fact, if there’s anything that I utterly detect about the game industry right now it’s this.

Let’s paint a picture. Let’s go back... back to the past... *holds flashlight in front of face* OoooOoOoOOOOoOooooooo... Gaming once did not have DLC. When you got a game, you got it as-is with no DLC, patches, etc... So companies had to put everything they wanted or could get in it in that one cart’s release and polish it to boot. So they could not release a game unless it was actually finished-finished. Occasionally devs will knock off a few bugs in revisions, but that just meant there were two or more versions of games (the first version, then tweaked copies) on the market and not a game with intended content another one didn’t have. However, the thing about it was that the first version was still perfectly playable. Ocarina Of Time on the N64 had three for instance if you want a notable example. Heck, Pokemon Red/Blue/Green/Yellow were some of the glitchiest games ever but they are well loved. It’s not glitches that make a game bad, it’s gameplay-hindering glitches and bad design that make a game bad.

This of course led to a lot of notable delays in the production of the best titles of their time. Games that were rushed out to meet a deadline such as games based on a movie being released or something were often sucky, buggy or even completely broken because it was less about the quality as it was trying to meet demand. So a game that was released bad, stayed bad with no fixes or whatnot. While the concept of not fixing up a bad game may seem archaic to many modern day gamers, there were still great games to be played. See, you’d think that there would be better quality games on the market now than there were back then because if you released a stinker, you could at least patch it to a semi-good quality. But that sure isn’t the case is it? In fact, it’s not unheard of for a patch to break a solid game, lol! In those cases they’re usually rectified by a simple rollback or re-issuing a fixed patch fast of course, but what I’m saying is that patches aren’t really making the overall gaming experiences you can have better than just releasing them in a good state to begin with. Unless the game is broke to begin with of course. But that brings me to my next point...

Both Microtransactions and patches have been quite the sneaky little moneymakers. What a lot of people aren’t realizing is that they are often paying a lot more for less. Which is astounding since game price has gone up in itself from $50 to $60 (Not all games of course, but I mean the general price of console games) AND in order to get all you could for a game, you have to pay for their online and downloadable extras. Some do online for free like Nintendo, but that of course is about to change not because they can’t do online for free of course since they have been for years, but likely because it’s just more profitable. So what game publishers are doing when they pull that is selling incomplete games at a full price (often just to release games as fast as possible for maximum profits) and charging you more to get them complete and/or playable through online. Some “retail” games are actually not even physical in that they only contain a game code or only a small part of a game so you have to download the rest to play it too. So what’s even the point of retail in those cases other than to sucker in people who don’t otherwise buy digital that just so happened to not read the box?... That trick won’t work forever. Mind you that there are still games made out there that are great on their own without downloadables, but the thing about it is that game companies know that these sorts of things are highly profitable because people are oblivious to how much more they’re spending overall. Even just $5 per game, if you got just 12 DLC packs, that’s $60 or the price of another whole game (again, it varies. :P). They aren’t only $5 either as DLC varies greatly in price. Online services alone are usually START at $10. PS4′s is at $9.99/month, but you of course get discounts at longer terms. :P

The patch thing also has a funny way of making more “versions” of games than ever before as well because there are games that people have never patched or did any microtransactions for, there are games people have fully patched and paid for all the DLC. Plus everything in between and every combination. So there can be an awkward division of sorts as well in that people rating a game better with a patch and someone not being able to get a patch for some reason (no net connectivity, online patch services canceled/shut down, etc...) that will end up creating forever bad games in the process because they put out junk and games not patched get shut out. There’s also the inevitable end of online patch support for a game to tangle with in the future. Meaning if people get a game that is no longer supported and it’s a stinker that could be patched into something better, they are stuck with the stinker unless they sell it to someone who is not in the know of the need for a patch or they locate or create some sort of fan-made hack-patch out there.

This also has a way of making it so that games are becoming less and less your’s. See, certain sections of the game industry hate stuff like the used game market and game sharing because they don’t get sales from after-market stuff. If a retail disc is just a key to get a game’s full download that you can only use once, you basically can’t resell or let someone borrow a game. The Xbox One back in development was going to be just like that until massive backlash hit them over it. As a matter of fact, that happens with a lot of publishers who try to pull that because people of course don’t like the idea of not owning what they buy, for good reason. So instead they got a bit... sneakier with it. Games that you buy digital for instance are locked to that system and if your system goes, so does the game, well, when they stop supporting it online. Think DLC/patches are any different? Think again.

I’ve seen people argue that the microtransactions are only to extend the life of a game engine and whatnot, but that’s what SEQUELS are for! Instead though a great increase in patches and paid downloadables on the very first day of release happened. Star Wars Battlefront was probably one of the most notorious examples of this in that the game was made to be small and to get everything you’ve gotta pay upwards of $100 total. Compare it to a fully complete game such as Ocarina Of Time and you can tell that there’s issues. Speaking of Battlefront... EA did it again with the next Battlefront, only FAR worse than before as you need to play 4,528 hours to unlock everything or $2,100 to “conveniently” speed things up ON TOP of the retail price of the game. That’s ludicrous! Then there was a whole debacle after that they they were going to fix it and semi-did, but this has happened with so many of their games in the past that you can basically see it as a cycle by now. They release a game > people point out how much of a ripoff it is > they “apologize” and “fix” it > they do it again with the next game. Why people even buy into it after all these years of them doing it I have no idea as it’s illogical. Maybe it’s like... an addiction or masochistic tendency. But they take advantage of that sickness like predators. Even a good chunk of those who aren’t addicted to it may not make much of it because it never seems like a lot to pay  few bucks for some DLC but when so many do it, it adds up for their profits gained on basically lies.

Talking addiction of course means it’s time to cover these bad boys: LOOT BOXES! They can be cleverly disguised as anything from Pinata Llamas to Trash Cans. But when I say “loot box”, I mean “you pay for something and you don’t know what you’ll get”. They have been largely equated to gambling which I couldn’t agree more with because it’s like rolling a slot machine’s wheels: The adrenaline of whether you win or lose is what is addicting but most of the time you will lose as the items you are going for in these monstrosities often only have less than a 1% chance of showing. So people who get addicted like with gambling addiction often open up hundreds and hundreds of these boxes to no avail. People who do this, even if it’s just over a bunch of DLC and whatnot, game publishers have called “whales”. Yes, they actually have a term for it. Not only that, but they also have a “science” to getting people to pay for such things. Behold! The hold grail of all things bad in the industry. The original video I linked to was removed, but you can still see it at 3:42-4:37 of this video, though you may want to watch it all anyway as it’s pretty good:

“Turning players into payers” huh?... They aren’t the only ones to do it either. Activision actually patented their own little scheme in 2015 (which amazingly they claim they never used) and you can bet that many others also have sneaky little plans of their own.

There are some extra tricks I haven’t went over yet that may still sucker people. Like remember the extra levels/stages/areas/gear/etc... that could have been added to a game before release by just delaying the game like they used to do? They could just put it on multiple discs/cards like they used to as it wasn’t uncommon for games to have 2 or more discs. But they don’t. Why? Well at this point you can guess there’s something extra sneaky about this one because the extra data doesn’t go on the disc, it goes on the game system’s hard drive or some other storage space. As the MBs add up, you need to buy more space. Who then gets in the market to sell more space? Game makers of course. While people can get stuff like external /hard drives and SD cards from other sources, you can bet that game publishers will partner up with someone that makes them (I have a Sandisk SD Card for my Wii with “Nintendo Wii” on it for instance. :P But for game data backup, not downloads.) or make em’ themselves.

Even if the DLC or online service is free, chances are it’s not entirely “free” anyway as you often have to see a bunch of advertisements to tempt you to spend money on other stuff. For instance, Call Of Duty WWII has a mission where you watch others open loot crates... But if you have the willpower and time to sit through that junk, it’s officially free I spose’. Again though for all of this they know not everyone can resist the temptation. It all keeps rolling back to tempting people in these ways really:

How badly do you want to fix your game?

How quick do you want to make progress?

How much more content do you want for the game?

How unique do you want your character to look?

How much do you want to play with others online?

How much do you want to play the same game as others?

How close do you want to be to your friends progress-wise?

etc... to make games cost far more than ever by having you pay for it.

But free online gaming even though companies clearly can do it and free DLC is not how the industry has shaped has it? Instead they have you pay for it with a grin basically saying “see you there because we know you won’t resist!”. The temptation thing ended up screwing everyone over, even people who resisted, because they are losing out on the content. All at virtually no extra development cost because it’s often already made and they just held it back.

Yes, I know some is genuinely made after a game if they feel there is more they can add, but it’s such a common “business model” that you just never know who is doing it. Though some slip up like Capcom, lol! But in any case, why not at the very least release extra stuff for free? Not make you pay for the online on top of the DLC. I mean logically they “should” be getting profits from online service sales to support further development of games as it was proven they are able to do online for free. If not, they are doing a pretty bad job.

I don’t see those unethical business practices changing any time soon either because they have been remarkably successful. It’s giving companies a lot of bad PR, but they don’t care as long as they get more money than ever. Which is a really sad state because it means that you no longer have to make a good game to profit off of it, you just have to make something that hooks people enough to get them to pay into it. Many indy devs are guilty of this too of course (especially the shovelware makers that put their crappy ((often copied)) games with paid DLC on every platform they can), so don’t think I’m ignoring them. I’m just using some of the most prominent examples here.

Now for some common rebuttals I hear:

-“But you don’t have to pay for it! It’s optional!” You also don’t have to pay for the game. Companies should be honored and humbled that you are interested in buying a game so they should offer you the full package, not a watered-down version of something and taking you for granted.

-”It’s only appearance DLC like clothing. It doesn’t affect the game!” Oh, but it does. Not having them is actually taking away a whole section of a game that people find fun: Character customization. Maybe it’s not gameplay-related, but it’s certainly something that people love to do and thus affects their experience. Games used to have stuff like that hidden in them as unlocks (See Bomberman 64 Custom Parts as an example), not as paid DLC.

-”They NEED to make more money because games nowadays are more costly to make!” How do you know? Games like Cave Story and An Untitled Story (6th from the bottom) are free and extremely well designed. But I’m also seeing a ton of asset-flipped games in that companies are basically re-using engines and whatnot. In any case, assuming they are pricier, then it should be in the initial cost of the COMPLETE game, NOT made up in DLC. You tell me that all of Battlefront 2′s content is worth $2,100 and I’ll call you a liar or blind because there’s no way they put that much work into it and there’s no way anyone should have to pay that much for a SINGLE game.

-“But there’s just so much content they didn’t have time to put it in at release so they offer you the service!” Yet they are able to magically churn out other games at the same time along with said DLC. Funny how that works right? Again talking EA as an example because they are just do good at providing them, they create a “new” sports game yearly (Madden, FIFA, NBA, PGA Tour, NHL, etc...) with the usual DLC, oftentimes of stuff that was in past installments of the game with the same engine.

-”They are companies, so of course they are trying to make money.” Nothing wrong with making money, it’s “how” you make it that’s the issue. When there’s a whole “business” model built around lies and deceit, I’d argue it starts to lean towards the scam side of things.

Your thoughts? Thanks for reading and have a good one!

[swipestream]

SUPERVERSIVE: Even “Death Note” Needs a Hero

So I wasn’t going to do another post on “Death Note” – and I can promise you this will be the final one – but I decided on this topic because I realized that the flaws actually had a lot to do with the superversive philosophy. So I think this will be instructive even for people who aren’t necessarily fans of the franchise.

“Death Note” is basically two different animes with one title (as usual, this is my catch-all for both the anime and the manga, though in this case there are actually some instructive differences). The first half is an absolute masterpiece of concept, characterization, and (particularly) plotting, with multiple iconic moments and a level of consistent suspense that would make Alfred Hitchcock turn green with envy.

The second half is…meh.

I am sure fans of the franchise know where I’m going with this, and it’s really impossible to avoid spoilers if I’m going to discuss it. If you haven’t seen the show yet, do so before you read ahead.

…

…

Ready?

All right, let’s do this.

The death of L was the end of the franchise’s golden run. What happened is actually fairly common, and I’ve seen it before. The franchise decided it was going to go with a totally unexpected, game-changing move in order ratchet up the suspense and surprise people. “Sherlock” did the same thing in “The Reichenbach Fall”, and “Justified” did the same thing in the season 4 finale, “Ghosts”.

In all three cases, the actual episode was brilliant; for all of “Sherlock’s” flaws “The Reichenbach Fall” is the best episode of television I’ve ever seen. Yet in all three cases, there was a problem: the writers had no idea where to go from there. (“Breaking Bad” actually made this sort of thing its stock in trade; one of the main selling points of the show is that the writers would pull these sorts of massive game-changers constantly and follow the consequences to their logical and often brutal conclusions.)

In “Justified’s” case, they frantically tried to ratchet things back to the status quo, resulting in a mostly entertaining but sloppy season 5, and the show never fully righted itself until season 6. “Sherlock” did the same thing (twice, in fact), and even more sloppily; unlike “Justified” it never fully recovered despite a couple of good outlier episodes stuck between some real disasters.

“Death Note” is an interesting case. While it did accept and work with its new status quo, this caused a different problem: The new status quo simply wasn’t as interesting as the old one.

The problem with killing off L is that L was the hero. The writers put a hell of a lot of work and thought into L. After the Lind L. Taylor scene, we’re already impressed with him (Light’s “This could have been interesting if you were just a little smarter” is a great line). We watch as Light alters his actions in an attempt to throw L off his trail, and how L figures things out and reacts accordingly. We meet him, see his habits, his personality, the way he moves and thinks and eats. We see him take enormous risks and watch as he very carefully and slowly, but inexorably, tightens his net around Kira.

And we watch him die. We watch him lose.

This was a great episode…and this was where Death Note lost people. Because it lead to a lot of problems.

You see, everyone wanted L to win. And when L dies, we cut to…4 years later.

4 years later? So it was all for nothing? His work went nowhere?

And then we’re introduced to Near and Mello, or as I like to call them, punchable L and crazy L.

Near is left, Light is center, Mello is right

Near and Mello are introduced to us as L’s successors, but everything about them falls flat. Near is – and I don’t know how else to put this – just a terrible character. He looks and acts like L, except that he doesn’t do anything. L was active, he took risks, he threw himself directly into an epic mental battle with Kira. L put absolutely everything on the line. Near just sits there and works out stuff through a computer, then acts all cocky about it. He’s like L if L was lame.

Mello is actually, in his own way, an interesting character, but the way he’s used is just terrible. He’s supposed to be the “active” side of L in contrast to Near’s “intellectual” side, but the writers use him as a plot device who occasionally shows up, wreaks havoc, then completely disappears for long stretches of time. What is he doing? How is he running his own investigation? We don’t know and don’t get any explanations for silly things like him getting access to an actual missile. And he’d be a somewhat sympathetic antihero (though not nearly enough to make up for L’s death) if we didn’t see him straight up murder almost the entirety of Near’s task force for no reason other than spite.

The idea the creators had was to make Near and Mello the two different halves of L – Near being the intellectual half and Mello being the half that moves and take action. But this leads to two other problems.

First, splitting L into two halves does nothing but create two distinctly unlikable characters. If L doesn’t make moves and take risks, we don’t respect him, thus Near. And if L is a maniac who acts impulsively and murders people out of spite we don’t like him, thus Mello. You’re sacrificing one great character for two weak ones.

Second, if you’re going to use two “halves” of L solve the mystery anyway…why did you kill off L at all? Why not just use L?

The obvious answer to “How could you have L win the game without making it appear too easy?” is a simple but effective one: L wins, but sacrifices his life to do so. Thus the victory is accomplished with the proper sacrifice. The second Death Note Japanese movie actually accomplishes this in a suitably clever way, and I’d say – hesitatingly – that if it was extended a bit it would probably be superior to the way the anime/manga ended.

There is even a way Near and Mello could have worked. Flash forwarding to four years later was a mistake. It cements the fact that L lost, and again, people need a hero to root for or “Death Note” becomes unpalatable, coasting along solely on the fact that we want the maniac Light to die. And there’s really no way to go through a new investigation without rehashing things we already went through in the first half of the anime. The only way to avoid that is for the plot to become increasingly outlandish and ridiculous. The first half of the anime is expertly plotted. It has nearly no exploitable holes, and any that you can find are so subtle that the odds you’ll even notice them the first time around are extremely low. The second half is so woolly I’m still not entirely convinced the ending even make sense.

For Near and Mello to work, they need to be an extension of L. Once again – L can’t lose. This is very different from saying L can’t DIE. L can definitely die, so long as HIS plan and HIS work leads to Kira’s ultimate defeat. So here’s an idea:

One of my only issues with the first half of the anime is the reaction of the anti-Kira task force following L’s death. L dies IMMEDIATELY after saying he believes the 13 day rule – the rule that if a Death Note is not used for 13 days, the owner will die – is fake. And the shinigami Rem disappears directly after L’s death. So why does the task force not investigate this idea further?

The answer I THINK the anime is trying to get you to buy is that they are starting to believe that L is fixated on Light – that he has been proven conclusively innocent but L refuses to let the idea go. This is the tragedy of L – he KNOWS Light is Kira, but nobody believes him, so it’s clear in the final episode that he knows he’s living on borrowed time: Kira has no reason to keep him alive anymore. He’s been completely cleared. Hence L’s impatience when he realizes he’s hit upon the crucial clue that will unravel the whole thing but the task force is unwilling to test it.

So what if we see L secretly contact Near and Mello before his death, tell them he’s going to die soon, but that the 13 day rule is fake? Then immediately after L’s death we don’t flash forward to four years later but instead see Near and Mello DIRECTLY advancing L’s work, and it is L’s final deductions, and his secret hand-off to Near and Mello, unbeknownst to Light, that ultimately leads to Light’s downfall. If we do this it allows us to more properly accept Near and Mello as true successors and to see L as the ultimate winner of the game, providing the necessary closure to his story – because ending it with his death and the unraveling of all his work is the opposite of closure. It’s moving back to square one. We can hit home even more L’s current involvement in the story if we see Near and Mello having “conversations” with their image of L inside of their head, which allows us to see L’s continued impact even more clearly.

This is speculation, of course, though I think it could work; I’d imagine it would be more simple just to end the whole thing with the end of L’s story.

So that’s my diagnosis: For “Death Note” to work you need a hero, a man to root for, because without that the story is no longer satisfying to watch. If you don’t care about any of the people Light is facing off against, why do you care if Light wins? “Death Note” managed to coast along to its finale on the strength of the promise of Light’s downfall, and even then only barely.

One last thing: I will note that the final two episodes, where L and Near finally have their stand-off, are immensely satisfying, though I must admit to strongly preferring the ending of the manga to the anime. Light doesn’t deserve dignity in death; he deserves to beg. But both versions work fairly well.

To close out my “Death Note” series, I leave you with this surprisingly awesome song from the surprisingly awesome “Death Note” musical; skip to a 1:25 to see the real fun start.

SUPERVERSIVE: Even “Death Note” Needs a Hero published first on http://ift.tt/2zdiasi

[epchapman89]

Pod Complex: April Coffee’s New Capsules Are Surprisingly Delicious

Courtesy of April Coffee

Specialty coffee in 2017 is a pretty big tent, qualitatively speaking. Over the past few years, the coffee industry has broadened its focus to include modes of preparation that have historically been seen as inferior. From pre-ground coffee packs by Blue Bottle to instant coffee from Voila and Sudden, from the super-automatic machines like the new Eversys e’Barista System (spokespersoned by one Matt Perger) to ready-to-drink cold brew by, well, practically everyone at this point, the modern wave of coffee is out to prove that the dichotomy between quality and convenience is a false one.

One of the major entry points for specialty coffee’s forays into the world of high-grade, convenient coffee comes via pods, most notably Colonna Coffee’s Geisha offering and the 100% compostable pods from Volcano Coffee Works, the sister company to London’s Assembly Coffee. The newest brand to take on the capsule challenge is Copenhagen’s April Coffee Roasters, who (and you may start to see a pattern here) also teamed up with Eversys to provide coffee for the e’Barista System. Roasting in a more Nordic tradition, April has created a seasonally changing line of pods compatible with Nespresso capsule machines.

Before going any further, I should say that I’m extremely skeptical of new things. The highest praise I’d expect a coffee pod to elicit would come with a qualifier: “…for a coffee pod.” I mean, could Nespresso systems even accurately get water to an appropriate temperature for making coffee? Aren’t pods kind of the enemy?

What I found though was that the April pods were really good. Full stop.

After borrowing a Nespresso machine from a kind neighbor, I spent three days tasting each of the April capsule varieties—a washed El Salvador, a natural Brazil, and a washed Kenya—in all the formats the pod machine could make: ristretto, espresso, and lungo, coming in at 25ml, 40ml, and 110ml, respectively. For my palate, the pods worked best in the lower volume range of the ristretto and espresso, creating really nice sweetness and providing the more syrupy body one would expect to find in espresso (that said, the Kenya as a lungo made a pretty incredible coffee shot).

But what was most surprising was the April pods’—specifically the Kenya—ability to deliver origin characteristics. Let me repeat: THERE WERE ORIGIN CHARACTERISTICS PRESENT IN A COFFEE POD. Drinking the 40ml was not just good “for a pod” or even just a good cup of coffee, it was a very good cup of distinctively Kenyan coffee.

Courtesy of April Coffee

Patrik Rolf is the founder of April Coffee as well as the roaster. I sat down for a chat (via electronic communiqué) to discuss these surprisingly delicious coffee capsules and some of the challenges in roasting coffee specifically for pods.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Hey Patrik. Thanks for sitting down with us. Give us a little intro into what April Coffee is trying to do with their coffee pods.

The quick answer is that we want to make it easier for people to drink tasty coffee. Pods are a very user-friendly product. That being said, as with everything in life, it is not perfect. But we’d rather invest and try to change the game by being a part of it instead of sitting on the sidelines and argue about something we don’t really have insight in.

It is remarkable how many companies that are investing serious money in trying to improve every aspect of the capsules and we are very happy to be able to be a part of that.

I have a lot of questions. Who is the target audience? Whose palate is this designed for? Is it pod drinkers, specialty coffee drinkers, somewhere in between? Are you trying to convert pod drinkers into specialty drinkers?

April’s goal is to offer the tastiest version of any category of coffee we are working on: filter, espresso, espresso with milk, capsules, or fully automatic. We are creating taste experiences for people with an interest in taste.

Would it be correct to say that you are going for a more progressive/specialty coffee flavor profile with these pods? Is the flavor profile itself more geared towards those who are specialty coffee drinkers?

For April, the ambition is always to showcase the flavor potential in coffee. That goes for the pods as well. The feedback so far from any capsule drinker, with or without specialty coffee has been very positive. It is geared towards people that appreciate tasty coffee beverages.

How does the roast profile change from the whole bean coffee to the pods?

Roasting for capsules have been the most fun aspect of these and one of the main drives behind the project. I am a coffee roaster and the opportunity to have to tackle roasting in a new way is very exciting. The roasting differs a lot. It took me about six months to figure out how I want it and I am still improving the approach for every batch I produce.

At first, the focus was on roasting the coffee to be as soluble as possible, which at this point actually doesn’t make much sense. Give me a few more months and I will share some proper roasting data on it.

What were some of the challenges you faced when creating the pods, that the average coffee drinker might not expect?

The biggest challenges were in understanding the material function of the capsule, grinding, degassing, and how everything correlates. The project turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought it would be.

Was the water temperature of a Nespresso machine a concern? Presumably it can’t get up to the 195-205°F (90-96°C) range the SCA recommends. Did it affect how you approached making the pods?

How the coffee will be brewed is always a concern when picking green coffee and roasting. We believe in diversifying as much as we can when it comes to roasting for brew method—that is the only way to maximize the result. It was more of a challenge than a concern. That being said, it took about six months of trials before we started to get anything tasty. It has been a very tricky process, which is part of why it has been so much fun to do.

Were there any concessions/changes you had to make to how you would normally do things in order to get the pods to taste how you wanted them to?

We tried about 20 different doses with a few different grind sizes on each dose before we ended up with how I like the coffee the best. Furthermore, it’s challenging to make a coffee that needs to fit into such a set-parameter of brewing since the machines aren’t very flexible yet—I am sure that will come. But a volume out of around 38-40g seems to be the most solid. I still don’t think the “longer” versions of the capsule coffee makes any sense. But the “shorter” versions are getting tastier and tastier.

The two Central American coffee pods I tried were very solid, straight forward espressos, but the Kenyan was one of the best shots I’ve had in recent memory and the flavor profile was definitely outside of what you would expect to get from a pod. Is the plan to always have at least one more progressive pod available for the adventurous coffee drinker?

The idea is that every version should be as tasty as it possibly can be. We here at April tend to like more “progressive” taste in our coffee and that is where the capsules are moving towards as well.

How frequently will the selections rotate?

Every third month. The range will get bigger and bigger as we go.

Courtesy of April Coffee

Are the pods environmentally friendly?

That is the money question. Today they are not biodegradable, simply because those versions of the capsules don’t taste good and have too short a shelf-life. But April is committed to make the capsules a lot more user-friendly before 2018 or we will stop working with them. And we have some good stuff on its way so I am confident we will get to that point.

The capsules market is today one of the fastest growing markets in coffee and there is value in making sure that the market grows using good, ethically sourced coffee in the capsules rather than commercially traded coffee.

Thanks Patrik!

April Coffee Capsules are available for order via the April Coffee Roasters website.

April Coffee Roasters is a Copenhagen-based coffee roaster. Visit their official website and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Zac Cadwalader is the news editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Zac Cadwalader for Sprudge.

All photos by the author unless otherwise noted.

Spros Disclose: April Coffee Roasters is an advertising partner on Sprudge Media Network

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