#it's fun to criticize Real Books but. the thing is. the authors are never going to SEE that criticism unless theyre specifically looking

[stardustizuku]

Unfortunately I came across a very strange and misinformed video about Black Butler.

It’s not good. Don’t watch it. Unless you wanna ruin your day, in which case have fun.

Despite it all, I watched it. What left me wondering, however, was how off the mark the person who made the video was on, well, everything.

From their insistence that the Book of Circus Arc theme or point is non existent, to reading Ciel’s character so badly they genuinely thought the Green Witch Arc did nothing for his character development.

While baffled, it also made me think on how someone could read Black Butler so badly.

Sure, you can say that there’s no real way to read or interpret something “in the wrong way” but interpreting The Hunger Games as a pure battle-royale action story would make you believe it’s bad.

“Why are we focusing so much on how the capitol preps them?” Or “Why isn’t Katniss winning everything?” Or “I wanna know more about the rebellion” All questions that miss the actual point of the story - which is criticizing (not solving or ignoring) the way that media distracts us from violence via spectacle.

The same thing applies here. While there is no “right” way to consume media, there’s things that the author makes clear they wanna focus when creating a story. Things that, if you understand, make the story you’re reading actually make sense.

And in Black Butler there’s three things that you have to understand to properly get what Yana is saying.

Sebastian is the protagonist

Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship IS the story.

And that relationship is, fundamentally, a positive one.

A quicker version of it would be:

Black Butler is a love story from the POV of Sebastian, and you have to ship it to get it

- but that’s not entirely true.

You can still look at it as a complex but ultimately positive rship and get in broad strokes of what it’s conveying. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Although, it helps much more than a platonic framing.

(That said, interpreting their rship as father and son, still isn’t the best way to go about it. Mostly because by its very nature of “soul consuming” their relationship is extremely sexually charged. And hey, if you’re into that I don’t judge. However, if you’re desperately trying to interpret their rship as NOT romantic to the point you fall back on heteronormative patriarchal ideals of nuclear familiar as framing device, I don’t think this interpretation bodes with you)

Now, having all that ground work:

Why do I say these are the key components to understand BB?

Okay so, first,

1. Sebastian is the Main Character. The protagonist.

There’s a lot of people who wanna argue against it, claiming he’s either the villain or the antagonist. Both wrong.

He does not function as an antagonist. Even if, and an emphasis on if, you consider Ciel to the protagonist, Sebastian isn’t a narrative antagonist.

If you wanna go back to Creative Writing 101, be my guest. An antagonist is directly defined by the protagonist. It’s the opposing force. If the protagonist wants A, the antagonist wants to stop them from getting A.

Sebastian’s catchphrase is “Yes, my Lord”. He never opposes Ciel, in fact quite the contrary. By the mere fact they’ve created contract, it means that they’ve both agreed in the inevitable outcome.

People want to frame Sebastian as the villain, because Ciel having his soul taken by a demon, would be a BAD END in the context of their moral compass. They see Ciel as a frail victim of abuse, who’s being tricked by Sebastian, who wants Ciel’s soul.

Which is an. Interpretation. A bad one. But still one.

The narrative (and whether the narrative fits your personal moral compass and lack of critical thinking is irrelevant) treats Ciel as an agent in his own destiny. The abuse he suffered was the moment in which he had no control. It’s only after he meets Sebastian that he can rid of both his guilt and his despair, and do what he wants.

In this case though, it’s revenge.

The famous “Asthma” scene shows this. If Ciel is taken back to his past, he becomes helpless. Swarmed with pain and memories that make it so that he can’t even react. Sebastian is his saving grace. If Ciel didn’t have him, and the power he wields to rebuilt what’s broken, he would crumble once more.

If Ciel has a panic attack, because of all the pain he has, Sebastian picks him up and says “you are not a helpless child anymore, you are not a victim anymore, you have the power to do anything. So, what do you wanna do?”

Ciel’s answer is to kill them.

A proper analogy would be to say that, if Sebastian offers a gun, Ciel pulls the trigger. They are both at fault. Sebastian, strictly speaking, is not here to directly cause Ciel’s downfall, but as a tool Ciel uses to plunge into the abyss.

If, again if, you were to frame Ciel as a protagonist, Sebastian falls closer to the “Voice of reason” character. Not a literal voice of reason, but a literary one. If you have a protagonist and an antagonist exchanging ideals, the Voice of Reason serves to engage with the protagonist on their own ideals.

That said, Ciel isn’t the protagonist. The story quickly falls apart if you interpret it as such.

Things such as Ciel’s character arc being…shall I say odd?

It’s not that his character arc isn’t there, but it’s never lineal. His goals stay the same, the only thing that happens is that we start to peel back the “why”s of his goals. Throughout the series it’s never about Ciel understanding himself better, he knows who he is, he knows what he wants, he knows why he wants it. He doesn’t ever need to uncover these, but simply remember them. Because it’s always about the audience understanding Ciel.

He knows he wants revenge.

In the Circus Arc: He knows that he needs Sebastian because without him, the pain of the abuse he suffered would be too much to bear. But WE are introduced to it.

In the Book of Atlantis: He knows that with this new lease he does not want happiness and peace, he wants revenge. The one being told this is the audience.

In Green Witch Arc: He knows that their revenge isn’t for his family, the real Ciel or guilt. It’s because he wants it. He’s angry, he’s upset, and this is entirely for him. The one being told this is the audience.

Except. Not really. The one either discovering or remembering these key moments - is always Sebastian.

Sebastian is the one who reassures him that he now holds the power of a demon to override the pain. Sebastian is the one who remembers that to override that pain, Ciel wants revenge. And Sebastian is the one who discovers that that revenge isn’t built out of grief or guilt, but for himself.

We are witnessing it all, through the eyes of Sebastian.

This is why we have an extremely vague idea of who Ciel is, Sebastian does not have the whole picture.

If you haven’t been reading this manga with your eyes closed, you’ll realize we have a better grasp at Sebastian’s character than that of Ciel. We get a lot of insight on how he thinks and what he values through light hearted dialogue he has with the servants. You even see the character development in these little interactions.

Think about how when he first arrived to the mansion he magically created food with no regards to taste, but when he meets Bard he states that food is created to see whoever will eat it, smile.

That is character development, more than you will be able to see from Ciel.

Because Ciel’s character, while not static, doesn’t go from point A to point B. Mostly, cause it doesn’t need to. He went through that when he lost the real Ciel and got Sebastian. Everything we are watching is the falling out.

Now, given the fact that I’ve told you that it makes more sense for Sebastian to be the protagonist/main character, and that he 100% isn’t either a villain or antagonist in ANY of the interpretations you can get:

Do you believe me?

If you don’t, you’ll probably believe Yana herself.

This is from the first Volume, where Yana herself describes the process of making Black Butler. The primary idea behind the creation of BB was a butler as a “hero”.

If you go back to the introductory chapter, you notice that Ciel is barely mentioned. He’s simply the one to give Sebastian impossible tasks and standards that Sebastian must find how to overcome.

Ciel is properly introduced until the NEXT chapter. The second chapter has this formula too, introducing Lizzie as a problem to overcome. Although, to Sebastian the best way to “get rid of the problem” is simply to indulge her.

The issue here being that the problem isn’t as simple as a business meeting but something directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s past. Each time that Sebastian has to solve a problem, it chips away at Ciel. While with Lizzie he shows a persona, once he’s alone with Sebastian he acknowledges the toll it took on him. It serves to build Ciel as Sebastian’s master, and how some problems aren’t as simple as discarding a tablecloth.

The third and the fourth, are a unified narrative, with a similar premise to the first chapter. Ciel gets kidnapped and Sebastian must find a way to retrieve him without raising suspicions.

If the first chapter is to set up what Sebastian must do as a butler, the third and the fourth serve to set up what he must do as a demon.

The entirety of the volume, and up to Book of Circus Arc, is about how Sebastian tries to follow the increasingly absurd orders that Ciel has - it is not about Ciel trying to solve them.

That’s how they work, we follow Sebastian for the most part, because he’s the one having to come up with the solutions.

If anything, in early Kuro, where the emphasis was more on a slice of life conflict, Ciel is the antagonist. He’s the one creating problems for Sebastian to solve.

What’s more, in the second volume, the very first chapter is one from Sebastian’s POV. So far, we hadn’t gotten an entire chapter from Ciel’s POV. In fact, I would find it hard to point to a single chapter where Ciel is the POV throughout. The reveal of real Ciel and the flashback is the closest contender.

But once we move past early Kuro, and into Book of Circus, this set up changes.

It’s fairly easy to assume that Ciel is the main character, because from this point on the conflict of the plot sorta surrounded him. We spend a lot of time with him and with his story. The enemies start being people directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s trauma. Rarely, if at all, we get to see Sebastian before he met Ciel.The framing device for the story, is Ciel.

This is where point 2 gets intertwined.

2.- Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship IS the story.

The story begins at the point where Sebastian and Ciel met. Who Ciel was before he met Sebastian, informs why he’s the way he is when he does. You have to know all he went through to understand why he’s a brat, why he lashes out. However Sebastian’s past doesn’t matter…because Sebastian himself doesn’t care much for who he was, before he was “Sebastian”. That’s also part of the narrative.

Unlike Ciel, he doesn’t seem opposed to revealing information from before the contract. He talks about how pets from where he is from are gross, he talks about how he knows how to dance because of other places he’s been to, and alludes to the life he's lived before.

Just that, to him, they're footnotes.

He makes allusions to a very bland, uninteresting life, up to the point he meets Ciel.

That’s why we don’t know more about his past.

As for why we focus on Ciel’s story…okay maybe we need Creative Writing lessons 102

I studied Dramaturgy for about 3 to 4 years. And something you notice is how play-writing is the quintessential story telling. It’s making it work with the bare bones of a story.

Some other mediums have more finesse, more depth, or more spectacle - all amazing things that work for whatever they’re created for. But understanding a play, how and why it works, helps understand the fundamentals of any derivative story telling medium.

Particularly, conflict.

Conflict is dialogue and dialogue can take many forms. A story, in its essence, is a dialogue between two opposing ideas.

Take Batman, for example, who embodies the ideas of justice and order. On his own, he’s not a well rounded character.

If you ONLY present him, in a vaccum with nothing else, you don’t have a character. You have a list of characteristics that you’re supposed to know.

You only know who he is when you have dialogue with another character.

I say Dialogue, but it doesn’t necessarily mean spoken language at one another. Dialogue can mean fist fighting, playing tabletop games, talking to other people about the other, or even just a competition. The idea is to simply to compare and contrast both ideas.

If you want an example on how tabletop games serve as dialogue, watch the video “Well, Someone Had to Explain the Liar’s Dice Scene” by Lord Ravecraft

Another example, were we to retake Batman, you have him fight Joker. Who’s the embodiment of chaos and randomness.

In the following picture, you get far more information than the one previously shown. While the Joke fights with daggers and fake guns, Batman only uses his fists. He doesn’t use the tricks that Joker does. His serious demeanor, contrasted with Joker’s glee at the dangerous situation. The fact that Batman has a deathly grip on Joker’s shirt, while the Joker doesn’t, which shows a desperation to catch him.

You are being shown, through a dialogue, who Batman is.

It’s so much easier and much more effective to explore a character through another character.

This is the reason why Shonen has a tendency to make incredibly good gay ships. If you want to explore Naruto’s personality, and his feelings of inferiority, you HAVE to have him interact with Sasuke.

If you wanna understand Hinata’s passion for volleyball, you have him enjoy himself the most with the only other crazy motherfucker who’s as obsessed with volleyball - Kageyama.

And I think that originally, Yana had this problem.

Sebastian was the protagonist, but she had little room to develop him as a character in the confines of the manor, dealing with random enemies.

She likely tried to create Grell as someone of the same stature as Sebastian. Someone who could be this other person to engage dialogue with and show or allude to his past a bit more.

The problem being that Sebastian didn’t care for his past. Or really, engaging with anyone. He sees everyone as below him, but when confronted with Grell who isn’t below him, he doesn’t wanna talk to her.

So you’re stuck in conundrum.

How do you have dialogue with a character, that as a character trait, doesn’t really wanna have dialogue?

Well, Grell also solves the problem. Because only the moment she gets him to start any semblance of a dialogue - is questioning why he’s serving Ciel.

And this is the moment when it’s perfectly cemented that the focus of the story is their relationship.

Why is Sebastian here? Why does he stay? What did he see in Ciel that made him want this extremely convoluted contract?

THATS the dialogue.

THATS the conversation we’re having in Black Butler.

We need to know Ciel because understanding who he is, let’s us know WHY /Sebastian/ is here.

Then slowly, with the introduction with the Undertaker, we find out Sebastian’s conflict.

Which is…

He’s scared of losing Ciel. It becomes apparent with the constant imagery of the Undertaker taking away Ciel and at some point even obtaining r!Ciel’s body, that he’s worried it might happen.

But he can only be worried that Ciel might be taken away if he wants to stay near Ciel.

And that’s his character arc.

Realizing that he actually likes Ciel, cares for him and the role he plays a butler that he doesn’t want this to end.

In the first chapters, he doesn’t feel a need to protect Ciel anymore than what’s strictly necessary. Just don’t die, that’s about as deep as his involvement in chapter 4 gets.

But by the Green Witch Arc, he feels a need to protect Ciel from ANY harm.

This is why I also said

3.- Their relationship is fundamentally a positive one.

In broad strokes, Sebastian to Ciel is the person who allows him to survive. He’s not worried about giving up his soul since he’s already dead. While Ciel to Sebastian, is someone who’s making him have fun. He’s slowly becoming more and more attached to Ciel and the life he has with Ciel.

Their relationship is not that of just a predator and prey, but also of master and pet.

In the terms that Black Butler itself would call: Sebastian is a wild wolf acting like a collared dog.

Ciel is aware that the wild beast will eat him at the end of the day, but if he clings hard to leash for now, he might just be able to have Sebastian maul his abusers.

Sebastian as a dog, currently finds that he enjoys being a chained dog.

(This is demonstrated in the Green Witch arc where he quite literally says, he doesn’t wanna be a wild beast and prefers to be a butler)

And much like the actual DOG Sebastian, Ciel constantly interprets his attempts to get close and protect him, as an act of aggression.

This push and pull of Ciel’s perception of Sebastian and Sebastian’s true motives is what feeds the story.

And the briefs interludes were that isn’t the case (what other people call the “plot”, but I would refer to as the connective tissue) such as Sullivan and Wolfram, the other servant’s past, the grim reapers and the like, serve as a parallel to Ciel and Sebastian relationship. Either to signify how they care for each other, highlight their weaknesses or fears, or explore how they feel.

It’s no surprise that Sullivan and Wolfram are parallels to Ciel and Sebastian. A sheltered sickly child who seeks the protection of a cold hearted machine that only knew how to kill, but who eventually found he cared for her genuinely.

Undertaker and Claudia’s relationship being heavily paralleled with them, even though we aren’t 109% sure what they had but heavily implied it was a romantic attraction from the undead supernatural creature and a Phantomhive.

Everything is a parallel.

That’s why, like the approach of the terrible original video, is flawed.

Trying to interpret Black Butler as action scene after action scene, with mystery after mystery with the only connective tissue being the mystery of who burned down the mansion - is missing the trees for the forest.

That’s not the point.

And if you’re too much of a prude to engage with gothic horror in its gothic horror game, I see little point as to why you even bother to engage with it at all.

A lot of people, including the person who create the video, simply refuse to acknowledge Black Butler IS the story of Sebastian and Ciel as a close and positive relationship, romantically and sexually charged. The reason for it being that they’re “put off” by it.

Part of me wonders how much that is genuinely true, and how much is just performative outrage. It’s like ignoring the fact that Cersei and Jami are in an incestous relationship and try to frame it as “platonic love”, because the idea of it is THAT off putting.

But regardless of that, if you don’t like the fact that it’s as canon as canon can get, I would reccomend you don’t engage with the story at all.

As I’ve explained, the entirety of the series is about them. If you refuse to see Sebastian and Ciel as, at the very least, a duo that cares deeply for the other - you aren’t reading Black Butler.

I have no idea what you’re reading.Perhaps your own biases and subconscious stigma with British aesthetic. At that point, watch the fucking British Royalty Gossip Magazine. You’d find more substance there.

Just don’t be like the person in the video, please? Don’t play dumb. Don’t ignore the fact that Yana is a Shotacon, don’t ignore the fact Sebastian is a hero, don’t ignore the fact that the entirety of the story is based on Sebastian and Ciel’s dynamic.

Because if you do, you are ashamed. You are ashamed of what this story is about. You don’t wanna engage with the text, you want to engage with yourself. You wanna project into Ciel whatever traumas and experiences you have, for the sake a vanity project, where you come out as the morally superior.

You don’t wanna talk about Black Butler, you wanna talk about how good YOU are. How you “don’t sin” by watching it “without all the gross unholy stuff”.

Which is the exact opposite of what BB is about.

So, if you don’t want to, save us all the humiliation fetish and leave.

[dangerouslypassiveaggressive]

A Terribly Organized Almost-Essay About Suzanne Collins and Why I Think She Writes

Lukewarm take because it's been years, but here it goes: if there's anything I've learned over the years, it's that Suzanne Collins is not a people pleaser. (The author, at least. I don't know her personally lol). And she be pleasing the people, that's not what I mean! I just kept hearing the same question being asked over and over again. "Why Snow? Why him?? Why not anybody else? Really?? A prequel about HIM??" It really made me think.

And don't get me wrong! I'd slash someone's tires for a Finnick prequel just like the next person (Suzanne please!), but that has never been the point of her writing. The Hunger Games novels, and by extension, the prequel book The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, aren't just fun fiction reads. Yeah, they're gripping. The world-building is superb. Young people are at the center of it. And all these characteristics are great, but the thing that draws us in, that keeps us consuming her media like hungry little caterpillars, is that they are, time and time again, a captivating and accurate criticism, analysis, and deconstruction of the broken systems society experiences in the real world. I can only speak from my own experience as a Mexican American woman in the United States, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

The Capitol is colorful and fun and interesting and horrible and sadistic. And it is all those things because it is a symbol of our own real-world 1%, except our own glittering Capitol members here in the real world feed us the hope that we may reach their status if we only work hard enough for long enough. The Hunger Games system never makes that claim. In fact, they are fed the narrative that the system only works because they're stuck where they are. Suzanne Collins is taking everything one step further in her writing because it is a type of satire, a critique of the things we already know. So as an author, she blows it out of proportion so that her reader will say "look at this! How ridiculous! How would someone let the system treat them this way!" And it is ridiculous, it's downright laughable that an entire society, an entire country, would let itself be oppressed in such a cruel way by just a few people in charge instead of rising up and- oh wow, yeah, I see it. She wrote about us.

Suzanne Collins just organized everything neatly into boxes- well, districts. Because every district comes with some form of product that they manufacture, but much more importantly: a class. We go in order from 1-13. District 1 manufactures luxury items and District 2 makes weapons (but mostly trains Peacekeepers), so they have the most privilege and wealth. On the other end, Districts 11 and 12 are the agricultural and coal mining districts, respectively. That's back-breaking work. Not to mention District 11 puts kids as young as 12 to work, and District 12 is poverty-stricken and starving. "But what about District 13?" You may ask, "They make nuclear weapons! Why aren't they up there with 2?" Fantastic question. If we know, and the people of Panem know, that the hierarchy is very clearly set by literal number order, why would one of the most powerful and competent districts be given more power and be put at the top? Placing them at the end lets them believe that they aren't powerful or competent. I mean, jeez, look at 12 and they're before 13? I wouldn't believe I could make it on my own either. (We know now that's not how things go down, but it's a clever power move regardless.)

But after all this, would it hurt Suzanne to give us a single book just for fun?

Yes, I believe it would, that's the whole point. We're not meant to fall for the Peeta/Katniss/Gale love triangle. We're not meant to be interested in Finnick's secrets and early life. We're not meant to want to know the morbid details of how Haymitch won his Games (with double the contestants! Ooh. Aah.) We're meant to be horrified at every turn, at every story. We're meant to ask ourselves how things got so bad, how anyone let this happen. Suzanne Collins has written wonderfully fleshed out characters that grip us and make us want to know more, but the point has never been them or even their loved ones. It was never about Katniss or Prim or Peeta or Finnick or Annie. It's always been about the systems that let this story happen, and where Suzanne got her inspiration: the very real lives we lead. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes shows us the same thing.

So why Coriolanus Snow? Because he is the catalyst to a broken system that only serves the powerful. If Suzanne were to write a novel about any of our much more beloved characters, then she would be writing the exact same book over and over about the same oppression happening in the same system. She does not write for the sake of bringing her very well-written characters to life, but to flesh out the poverty, the starvation, the power struggles, the horrors they experience. We know this because she writes a lot of her characters as symbols. (Coin, for instance, as the symbol for a power-hungry figurehead, or Prim as the innocent during war.)

Snow is living in a slightly different biome than what we know from The Hunger Games series. He has to make sacrifices and decisions for him and his family, but it's different. It is a view and critique from the inside looking in. This is not Katniss getting to experience the Capitol for the first time and understanding just how terribly unfair everything is. This is someone who is very aware of the way things work and playing the game to stay in power and keep their privilege. Not only that, but it's someone who feels entitled to all of it. In this novel, Suzanne plays around with power and people's position in it. What if a mad scientist was in charge? What if the creator of the thing that brought a semblance of peace was just as horrified as the reader? How far is one person willing to go for power? What if we saw the dawn of a world we're already familiar with?

So I hope she keeps writing, because I love seeing our world through her eyes and the parallels she writes from our world to hers of the injustices happening every day. Even though we'll probably never get the stories we crave, but that's okay. Keep putting those kids through hell, Suzanne.

[hornystiel]

once again seeing shit on twt and i saw it here multiple times too and i just have to say

the passage that 'you write/draw/make edits for yourself in the first place and it's fun as it is!!! and you shouldn't want attention or gratification!! otherwise you're somehow a bad person!!' - sucks ass

i'll hide the rest but i want to write it all down because it's been bothering me for a while

it may be surprising for many but many published and famous authors also write because of money it brings them? and fame? and recognition? shocker right. yes, not only because of this (tho some do it mostly because of all of the above and that's why many books are shit yes come at me bro tell me i'm no critic etc etc idc) same with artists etc. and it's okay people have no problemo with it, it's actually expected for them to get paid and praised. another example - youtubers. they create shit, they are monetized, they have income etc and yet i think you heard them say at least once 'i'll release the next vid once the previous one reaches ~~~likes and comments'. and again it's nothing really. it's always your choice whether to buy that book, see that film, watch that vid, leave that comment and like. you do it or you don't

in fandom we do everything for free (i'm not talking about commissions) and yet when many creative people ask to simply reblog our stuff for it to be seen because it's how tumblr functions - we're met with the whole ass lecture that we can't Demand anything from people, and that well if you don't get shit then you're not as good because greatness always finds a way, and basically we should be grateful for what we have and shut it. it's like a Scandal every time this topic is brought up. how dare. feels like i'm running here with a gun pointed to their heads and shout at them to reblog my stuff or else. and then those same people and many others are surprised there's lack of content except screencaps and texts we've all seen a hundred times and that people left for other places and fandoms

if i wanted to create only for myself i would've never posted anything here or on any other platform. why should i, i'm only satisfying myself, right. fun! but it so happens that i also want connection with fandom, and yes, boo me, i want attention and maybe even praise sometimes. and that isn't some vile thing to want. we are all humans and we thrive on such things and yes nobody suffered from a good comment or a reblog with excited shouting

and surprise, when i see that my stuff is doing well and people reach out and people are happy or sad or just experience the emotions i wanted from them - i want to make more things quicker and i want to progress and i want to share. double win

nobody owes anybody here. you don't want to engage at all? it's your right i won't hunt you down. really, i will make my stuff regardless, it's just i don't owe anybody here either and i can choose to share only with those who are interested? and way more popular people can do the same? because why spend the energy if people only consume things silently or just glance at it and scroll down and get real defensive about their right to only like stuff on the reblogging site. dw i won't do it i'm too much of an attention whore for it and i'm not afraid to admit it. anyway it's not a ~threat~, i'm simply stating that people who create stuff can do whatever they want with it, they created it for free, 'for themselves in the first place' and you can't get deathly offended when some of them move places, change fandom just because they get what they always wanted from it, remove their stuff or lock the next chapters of a fic for the people they want to see it, especially if you were a silent spectator this whole time

idk i'm not going anywhere really with this i'm just mad how we really are 'content creators' in the eyes of many. only here to throw up our 'content' - art, fics, edits, gifs - for it to be consumed silently in some abyss, reposted, stolen, and be grateful not to be eaten by it

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

-

reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

-

watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

-

playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

-

making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

[antifainternational]

REVIEW: WE GO WHERE THEY GO: THE STORY OF ANTI-RACIST ACTION Shannon Clay, Lady, Kristin Schwartz, and Michael Staudenmaier 2023, PM Press Reviewed by K-Dog In February I read the excellent new book WE GO WHERE THEY GO - The Story of Anti-Racist Action written by Shannon Clay, Lady, Kristin Schwartz, and Michael Staudenmaier, with a cool graphic-style Forward by Gord Hill - and published by PM Press. This is the first-ever in-depth history of the influential direct-action anti-fascist youth movement - and the authors do a great job of trying to organize that story into chapters covering the defining struggles and evolutions of the network - including the turf battles between anti-racist skins and nazi boneheads, the protracted struggle against the Ku Klux Klan's organizing efforts, ARA 's innovative and effective work in Canada, and the fierce opposition to both anti-choice fascists and sexism within our movement. The book is driven by interviews with over 50 ARA veterans, fellow travelers or first-hand observers who provide quotes, reflections, and war stories - often with a biting sense of humor.

I spent a good part of my teens and twenties building ARA in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Detroit, Chicago and supporting other chapters across North America. It was my university. So it was fun and sometimes emotional to read stories of fights we were in or see quotes from friends who have put in the work and paid their dues in this movement. I always knew that what we did mattered - even if it wasn't often treated that way by the mainstream left - not to mention broader society. But I have to admit its rewarding to have the history treated as something significant, even crucial. More than giving props to the OG antifas tho - what's really meaningful is that this book will help a new generation, confronting new forms of the fascist threat, find inspiration and lessons in both our successes and failures.

A few things off the top of my head that I thought the book did well was: 1. Quantify the victories against the fash - a surprising number of fascist organizations went out of business after sustained campaigns by ARA - a material contribution to the fight against white supremacy 2. Deal openly and honestly and without hype with the question of political violence - both its efficacy and dangers 3. Emphasize the role of culture (not just the bands - but yes the bands) - the way the movement LIVED and FELT and WORKED 4. Skillfully review the disagreements and controversies within the movement without trying to score points or dismiss points of view 5. Argue for the need for movements that are both militant AND outward facing - radical AND popular 6. Letting the people speak! This isn't a book of academic citations or leftist rhetoric - its the voices of regular, mostly working-class people, mostly without college degrees sharing their thoughtful insights, compelling stories, and clever anecdotes

My criticisms of the book are really more criticisms of ARA. Did we really never articulate a thorough understanding of what fascism is? Or at least establish some solid competing positions? Did we never find a way to talk about strategy beyond the various direct action campaigns we were running? Did we never propose ways to further embed ARA within wider sections of the working-class - and especially relate to communities of color more consistently and systematically? Looking back, some of our short comings are embarrassingly obvious.

For me Anti-Racist Action was a real living example of a genuine "United Front" - the concept of different groups, tendencies, and individuals working together and having each others backs in struggle DESPITE many real and important differences. A United Front does not mean everybody is all happy with each other all the time - quite the opposite, it means we're all often annoyed, angry or arguing with each other - but we don't sulk away when we lose a vote or don't get our way or face some criticism. We do appreciate what other folks are bringing to the table tho, we give them their respect, and we recognize the common goals we are fighting for - because those goals actually fucking matter.

The other thing about ARA I'd like to highlight was the de facto method of leadership - the anarchistic "leadership by example". Instead of a top-down structure where a few intellectuals dictate strategy and tactics on the larger mass - ARA chapters made their arguments by producing real world examples of what they were talking about. Think we should all do Cop-Watch patrols? Show me what that looks like. Convinced we need to make feminism a core part of our culture? Build a crew that exudes that vibe. Want economic demands as part of the program? See how we are doing it in our town, etc. etc. etc.

I have a lot of love for the hundreds of young people who organized and fought for ARA; for the few elders from the 60s/70s generation who embraced ARA, helped build it and make it more sophisticated; and the bands that saw what we were doing and kney they could help by promoting the work on tour and on records. ARA was a militant movement - we took risks and took licks - and gave 'em back too. I remember once calculating how many arrests ARA had taken over the years and by my loose tally we were well into the many hundreds when I gave up counting. Many of us got stitches and casts, relationships got tested and burned, and two of us were murdered by nazis in the desert. Now in my 50s I'm still unsettled and angry about a lot - and I'm still active on a few fronts - will be 'til the day I die. But I have a calmness when I'm around my ARA homies with our jokes, arguments, scars, and PTSD. My people. Virtual book launch of WE GO WHERE THEY GO, hosted by Asheville, NC's Firestorm Books: Tuesday, March 28th @ 7pm. Register here.

[genericpuff]

Dude…You.. are truly a mean spirited person by the way you attack Rachel and her comic. I was hoping to see actual valid criticism on this blog that are good takes and respectful…but all I see is a savage, hate-mongering being; projecting your own personal fears on fictional Greek gods, with loads of malice; accusing RS of so many things that’s not even an issue in the slightest.. like bro are we reading the same story?? Bc I’d assume you’d dislocate your shoulders from all the reaching you do, to just cherry and nitpick the comic so much; at this point I think you’re dedicating your life’s work to shitting on this comic with asinine accusations?? hell, I get the comic aint perfect but the way y’all shit on it damn near has the same level of hate you’d normally have for a fucked up, white supremacist manifesto…. have you ever sought inner peace or?? what’s the problem,,,

Your views are truly horrid and y’all are why ppl are scared to come out with their own series bc of malicious people like you getting kicks of punching down an author and mocking them instead of being more civil with your views. Probably haven’t considered creators like RS with ADHD have RSD too huh… maybe haven’t considered how ppl with RSD got symptoms where it’s pretty difficult to take criticism…lmao.. aaaaand yet you antis are just as barbaric as obsessive LO stans and y’all just won’t leave well alone smfdh

Heaven help you fr. Hope you cease your obsessive hate for a fictional story and seek actual help than pouring all this hate on a book and pointing fingers at issues that’s nonexistent in the series.😒

Ooh yay it's been a while since I've gotten an ask calling me out. Love to see it :3

So here's the fun thing - I do have way less "spicy" takes on the comic (because let's face it, the definition of "valid" in this context is often... very subjective, I've seen people call the most respectful criticisms and reviews of LO "hate" plenty of times before) but I also just enjoy dunking on it because it's fun and it's how I engage with this comic that, believe it or not, I did genuinely used to love. I don't talk this much shit about comics I've never cared about. Boyfriends and Let's Play are also both godawful but I never loved them quite as much as I loved LO back when I used to read it religiously, so I just don't feel like talking about them as much as I do LO. Saturday nights used to be my favorite night of the week but they became dreadful after a while as my love for the series' drained relative to its decline. Now I have to find other things to look forward to on Saturdays, so I've gone ahead and made my own things, things that have rejuvenated the feelings I used to feel reading LO.

Here's another fun fact, in case you're new to Tumblr and don't know how it works - this is just my account that's dedicated solely to LO stuff. There are other things that I do besides shit-talking this comic and using it as fuel to create my own interpretations of it, but you don't see that here because this blog is, again, purely for my LO related stuff. I also have a day job that's completely unrelated to webcomics, and draw webcomics that aren't related to LO. I spent like.... 6 hours playing Slime Rancher today. I know it doesn't look like I have a life outside of this when you sift through my anti-LO-themed blog of queued posts all in one go, but I do lmao

Sorry I don't have a more satisfying response than "it's fun!" I have a great time in this community, everyone in it has been genuinely sweet and caring and accepting. Many of the people in this community are genuine friends now, who I go to for things outside of LO, from comic discussion to real life talk.

You know which community doesn't make me feel safe or welcome? The core LO community that's come at me in my inbox, snuck into our fan groups to spy, and even outright made bots to breach our privacy. As soon as I had even the slightest bit of criticism for the comic, back during the trial arc, they decided I wasn't "one of them" and I realized I was terrified of being an "anti" because I knew how anti's were treated by the community. I had to find ways to accept my own feelings as they were changing and having the antiLO/UnpopularLO community accept me the way they did... really changed my perspective on the whole "fandom" thing. I can take part in both sides in the anti/unpopular community - praise and criticism. Maybe consider for a second the only reason the criticism is so loud... has to do with the fact the comic itself isn't worth praising anymore.

All that aside, it's fine if you don't like my takes or don't agree with how I choose to spend my time! There are both better and even worse takes out there from other people just as pissed as I am about the turn LO has taken. None of those people, myself included, do what we do to "make" others hate the comic or hate on Rachel. None of us are encouraging outright bullying directly at Rachel, we're literally just curating our own space for discussion and memes and art and writing surrounding this dumb little comic that many of us did find enjoyment in back when it first started. And I don't think any of us are saying that because we don't like this comic, that means we're gonna automatically trash on anyone else's just for existing? Because, again, none of us encourage direct bullying, and if anything, all these accounts have inspired more people to take up comic creating through AU and fanfic content of the source material that they wish could have been better. If anyone's legitimately "scared" to go into webcomics because of a few strangers' opinions on the Internet about a massive commercial comic that's completely unrelated to their own work and far above what most creators will ever make... well, I don't know how to fix that or help with that. Maybe apply your own advice that you're giving me in your ask and stop caring so much? I'm just a person engaging in one of their many hyperfixations on the Internet and there are others who happen to share in my interests and enjoy my takes, whether or not that includes the saltier ones. There's nothing special enough about me to warrant any sort of finger-pointing like what you're doing. I'm not a monolith nor am I the end-all-be-all to webcomic creation or discussion lmao

It's honorable you want to defend Rachel, or people with ADHD/RSD. I can't shame you for that. But coming onto my blog that's themed around antiLO/unpopularLO content and doing the same thing you're claiming I'm doing (which I'm not because again, it's not like I'm going directly at Rachel with any of the things I say or do and I would never encourage anyone else do that either lol) is a little... hypocritical, don't you think?

But - sass time - what do I know. I'm just someone who's also ADHD. Autistic with RSD too! Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, as none of us can speak on behalf of the entire neurodivergent community.

Appreciate the crit though, thank you for taking the time to write <3 Sorry to hear my blog didn't turn out to be what you expected but... I don't recall ever setting those expectations in the first place. At least not when I started. Now that Rekindled's a thing I suppose people aren't gonna expect blatant trashing when they find it but that's why I'm also trying to move away from purely trashing on LO so that I can put my time and energy into more productive stuff (even if that "productive stuff" is making a comic that started as an LO-spite project LOL)

But at the same time... I mean, is it really that surprising? Like I guess this can serve as a general "heads up" to anyone else who's new here, but I do not go easy on LO and have a lot to say about it (and I'm very loud and disgruntled about it) but I figured most people would realize that's the amount of spite needed to redraw the whole thing as I'm doing right now LMAO Like c'mon, you think someone who only dislikes LO mildly would really put in all this work? 🤣 I do it because I can't stand to see where it's gone, and I want to give myself and others who were disappointed alongside me the closure we all deserve. Trying my best, at least (～￣▽￣)～

That's all for now! Have a good one :' )

[1eos]

its really funny you say the author drew from real life bc recently one of her negative reviews got a lil bit of attention on tik tok for that book & it just tears into her for basically writing a self insert among other things.

i got this ask a few days ago and didnt quite get it but finishing the book and reading the reviews i get it now......it seems that the more you know of rfk the more you'll hate yellowface 😭😭😭 which is interesting....the main valid criticism ive seen so far is that she's been accused of colorism and her self insert was too and it was hand waved away....like that's weird....that's suspicious. and i get what ppl are trying to say...rfk uhhhh poking fun at her critics is annoying and i guess i could see it as trying to change the narrative or point the finger in a different direction but the themes in yellowface aren't wrong? and i don't think an author having a self-insert is inherently bad? at least not in this case....

like. at the start of the novel athena is propped up to be a saint after death even tho no one liked her and then it was revealed she leeches off pain. not good. but she also was a victim of the singular minority thing in publishing but she also didnt go out of her way to uplift other asians in writing. she's a complex character with a lot of faults its not like rfk made her a mary sue that was confirmed to do no wrong. so ppl are mad that she drew from real things and is probably putting some of her real feelings into the mix but i feel like every character gets a HEALTHY dose of reaming and what's 'hand waved' away is real life. like? 😭😭😭😭 cassandra clare is a freak and a half and had a booming career. idk ive read ego inflating self inserts and this didnt really feel that way to me bc EVERYONE is painted as in the wrong you know? the critics are right but they also thrive on negativity. the writers are often awful ppl but theyre also victims of hate mobs. twitter hate mobs are trying to uphold morality bc theyre stupid and twist moral causes into reasons to be hateful. etc. its hard for me to say that rfk was poking fun at anyone specifically just the industry itself...and it is a fucking goofy racist mess lol but i guess it can be seen as hypocritical to critical of the system you're a part of even tho thats the only way u can get critique

scrolling thru more 1 star/2 star reviews i see ppl saying the quippy more fun writing isnt for them which is fine. totally valid. but im seeing a lot of ppl be like 'the characters are ridiculous' and l i think a lot of ppl hate that june is like obliviously racist towards asian ppl the whole way thru and doesn't 'learn'. but i mean that's real life. a lot of white liberals are racist and never want to admit it bc they believe they're good. i dont even think rfk went TOO overboard. that rambly compliments turning into racism thing is just what white ppl do 😭 i saw a few other ppl be like 'why is this book so confused w twitter spats' like?????? are u aware of how writers are now????? they are terminally online and they do weird stunts and actually a yter i like has a series called authors behaving badly and a lot of them are....terminally online white women

anyways reading the negative reviews has been interesting.............theyre REALLY mad abt the self insertism kalgklgkagklglkakglaklkglkgak like damn y'all better not lift from real life for a character or the readers WILL be mad. personally as long as its not egregious or playing the victim i don't mind bc im messy LMAO

[leojurand]

house of niccolò reread rambling thoughts: niccolò rising edition (final part)

writing this like a week after finishing the book because i'm lazy but hey! at least i'm doing it!

i think niccolò rising is a great introduction to the series. it's not as emotionally gripping as the game of kings, but it is way more polished and easier to understand and get into, i think.

that being said, it's still one of my least favourite dunnett books. which says a lot about the quality of her novels because i still really, really love it.

so yeah, a couple of reread thoughts before i (eventually) move on to book 2 :)

1.

“Although,” said Tobie, “we’ll never know, will we, what brought it on? Relief or disappointment?”

i think it's fascinating that after 8 books, and considering nicholas is one of my favourite characters of all time (possibly even my number 1!), i still can't 100% tell if something is a part of his plan, or fate making those things happen.

did he always plan to marry the widow? on paper it seemed like a last resort because he didn't want her to sell the company, and it gave him status so it was, mostly, a win/win situation (if we ignore the fact that she brought him up and he was ten, which i definitely can't ignore, but i do wonder if it bothers nicholas especially considering his childhood).

did he want felix to die, even if he wasn't happy about it? he was the one to encourage felix to go to battle, though trying to convince him not to go would've had the opposite effect. and right before felix gets shot, julius was thinking that people on horse make an easier target (something nicholas would know because the dauphin's men threw him off his own horse before that). so maybe if nicholas hadn't tried to save felix, felix would be alive. but who knows!!

and i love this. i think some readers are frustrated by how little they understand of nicholas as they read the series, but to me that just makes him more complex and more real. it's a testament to dunnett's prowess as an author that she can create a protagonist like this, and not only does she make it work, she keeps adding layer upon layer as the series continues. and nicholas is already super complex in this first book! by the end of his series there's so much going on with him, and somehow it's not chaotic at all. or, well, it is a chaotic, but a controlled and deliberate sort of chaos.

i could talk about nicholas's characterization forever. and i will in this ramblings 😁

let me finish this part with THEE quote of this book for me:

Nicholas said, “I thought of a way to do it. That was all.”

“And did it,” said Adorne. “Why?”

“To see what would happen,” said Nicholas flatly.

2.

For himself, Julius felt neither anger nor envy but a growing pleasure, and a growing curiosity. For whatever reason, it had begun. And now, what would come of it?

i know for a fact there are fans who don't like the julius reveal in gemini and don't think it makes sense on reread. i can't say i loved it when i read it, and i don't know yet how much sense it does or doesn't make, but at least i can say that in book 1 it was super fun to look at julius under a microscope.

i think i've mentioned this in my previous post, but julius was one of my favourite characters in the series because i think he's funny, and i love his reactions to the things nicholas does. because most of the time he's out there winning the idgaf war while everyone else is horrified. like tobie, he fulfilled his role in the story perfectly, but he was never that deep; and i was never going to write essays about him. he was just a silly guy.

but julius going from an amoral, selfish, entertainingly idiotic jerk, to a perfect example of lazy and opportunistic evil (while still being all those other things lol)? i do criticize dunnett's choice of leaving the reveal for the last half of the last book, but i do think that's really fun. and whether or not there are enough clues, or if they don't add up or only add up when dunnett wants them to, i will judge for myself. either way, taking a character that i enjoyed a fair amount on first reread because he was kinda dumb, and making me look at him really closely on reread... well i think that slays and i commend dorothy for it

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I've been listless for too long, wasting my life by following the path of least resistance, but I've decided to take initiative and go back to school to get a degree that isn't worth less than the cardstock it's printed on.

Math was my passion growing up. It was fun and exciting to me, like solving a puzzle, and I wanted to be an unspecified brand of Scientist™ someday; my mom wanted me to be a mechanical engineer like my grampa. She decided my natural aptitude for math wasn't fast enough for her liking, so she skipped me ahead from algebra straight to AP calculus without geometry or trigonometry. I was completely out of my element, miles behind every other student, so she made me take two year-long homeschool courses in one month to help me catch up before I flunked out. It didn't help, it just made my existing course load even harder. I was burned out and I barely coasted by with a C- and a newfound hatred of math.

I never managed to grok calculus, and promptly forgot everything about it the second I graduated. When I learned that the major my mom wanted me to take in college would require more calculus and physics, I said fuck that and settled for something easy. I bounced around for my first two years, got my AA, and finally chose to pursue English (the greatest mistake of my life) because I had vague ideas of becoming an author, but my university had a shitty English department that didn't teach me anything. All they offered were glorified high school courses, "read a book, write an essay, take a multiple choice test, repeat. Congratulations you're an English major." I never learned grammar or style, I still don't know how to punctuate certain clauses, I completely wasted my final two years taking the most bare bones credits I needed to get a degree with no real goal after graduating. I went to college because it was expected of me, but my plan evaporated in high school because my mom pushed me too hard and even though I passed all my classes I feel like I failed miserably.

I want to go back. I want to retake the high school math I missed in my own time then reapply to my alma mater for another bachelor's program. I want to go into astronomy/astrophysics because all the science classes I took as electives in school were as fun and exciting as I'd hoped they would be, and I remembered that I loved to learn. I want to go back and try again with a real goal this time, to major in astrophysics so I could get a job, a career, doing what I'm good at and enjoy. It's not going to be easy, but I've been taking it easy my entire adult life and I'm trapped in my home town working as a cashier at a side-of-the-highway tourist trap motel at 26. I need to apply myself. I need to live up to the potential I had in high school. I need to go to the moon in this d'cade and do the otha things, not because they are easy, but because they are hahd!

Astronomy and earth/space science were my favorite classes in college, but I never took any beyond the 1000 level, and the suggested semester plan for a BS in astrophysics requires advanced 3000 and 4000 level calc, physics, mechanics, quantum mechanics, electromagnetism, optics, stats, and differential equations to name a few, so I have my work cut out for me. I need to buy some textbooks this summer and relearn prerequisite math before I can even hope to jump into this field. I'm not gonna enjoy it, it's not gonna be fun and exciting all the way, I'm gonna wanna give up, but I need to prove that I'm capable. I need to push myself to do what I don't want to do. I don't need to be a savant, I just need to pass. Cs get degrees. My little sisters are in college now, and both of them are taking a relaxed schedule, part time credits, only a couple classes per semester, however long it takes. The full astrophysics major requires 120 credits, but only 62 are critical, the other 58 are gen ed, and I already have my BA so I can skip those. 62 credits is 2 years of full time work (year and a half if I take a summer semester, though that's four months of work in half the time, so I'd once again risk burnout), but I could bang it out as a part-timer in 3 or 4 years. Hell, if I went back full time I could take a bunch of fun gen ed classes for a minor, or even a double major, but I'm getting WAY ahead of myself.

Start small.

I need to brush up on

Algebra 1

Geometry

Algebra 2

Trigonometry/Pre-Calc

Calculus

It's too late to apply for fall semester this year, and I wouldn't want to anyway because 5 high school math classes are a lot to get through in 3 months. They don't allow spring applications either, so the earliest I could start is fall 2024, 10 years after I started college in the first place. That gives me over a year to master the maths I missed. That's plenty of time! I'm fairly competent in algebra and geometry, so I'd only need to relearn trig and calc.

This is doable.

It's never too late to start over.

[genlossneg]

Oh my god I literally cannot convey to you that stumbling on this blog felt like seeing the sunlight again after being trapped underground for months. I thought I was crazy for finding fault with genloss because I have not seen any actual valid criticism anywhere and I thought I was losing my mind for not seeing the glory that is the, ‘next wave of indie horror content’.

Please.

There’s more horror in an average retail store on any given weekend than this entire series has in its three episodes.

Christ I don’t even know where to begin with this thing.

I’m not a film student but I’ve read the other film student anons’ posts and they are so incredibly right. There is so much about the series that felt hastily thrown together and I also loathe the phrase ‘intentionally bad’ when it’s something that’s been hyped up for as long as it has and yet, fell so incredibly flat. I have never been more bored, irritated, and confused watching a piece of media before, and have continued to feel this way as I watch diehard fans of Ranboo tout how great of a series it is?

Hey, Boobers- cmere, let me tell you a secret, genloss ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s a lukewarm, lackluster production at best, and if I didn’t know going in that this was supposed to be Ranboo’s passion project, it literally feels like a school assignment he had only the bare interest in putting together. God this thing has no soul. It has no spark. And it hurts so much to know that this is what this great incredibly hyped-up project became, because from how they talked about it, it's obvious Ranboo loves this thing, and I wanted to love it too.

But it ain’t good. And someone should’ve told him long before now it needs massive edits, and I get it, getting hard criticism is painful and isn't fun, but if it makes your end product better, your piece of entertainment content more enjoyable for the consumer, then you gotta listen and bare it.

I’m an author and I know they do it because they love me, but whenever my editors are like ‘ayo this shit is whack wtf you talking about’ it does hurt my pride but!!!! But!!!!!!!! I go back and take a harder look at that section and sometimes I stand by what I wrote, but other times I now see what was wrong with it and make the edits. Sometimes entire concepts have to get cut to trim down the story and make it more cohesive and that also sucks, but you just tuck those ideas away for later or another project, and tbh I do not feel like anyone did this with the genloss concept.

This entire story feels like it is stapled together and there is literally no through line!! It is a random bag of ideas mashed together to form what I imagine an AI would generate if you typed in ‘mall, horror, evil cooperation’. Fuck it hurts. It hurts so much to be someone that is so passionate about storytelling and writing to see genloss get the attention it has, and for Ranboo to be praised for their ‘excellent writing skills’.

I do understand this was probably their second real attempt at writing a story for public consumption (first being his character’s arc in the dsmp), and like, nothing anyone writes on their second attempt to tell a story is gonna be great. Mine wasn’t, no writer’s is, and that’s okay I really genuinely get that, my problem is how the production was hyped up, how the budget was apparently blown on so much wasteful crap, and then how no one with experience telling stories took a look at his concept before production began.

It makes me sick to know that box cost 18k. Do you know what I, and many other small creators, could do with that kinda money?

This was a few weeks ago? Maybe last week? But Ranboo said over here on the tumbles that they were thinking about genloss in written form, IE a book, and I think I literally blacked out I got so angry. I am also writing a book (hahahaha hi it is not easy!) and I honestly don’t think it's half bad, but I have still been fighting tooth and nail to get eyes on it and nothing makes me angrier than knowing Ranboo could slap some half-baked shit into a word doc, get whatever kind of fancy printing they wanted, and sell more copies than I likely ever will.

I don’t wish anything ill on the dude, he seems like a nice person and I hope he succeeds, but jesus christ, someone needs to be real with them on their writing and story construction. TBH I think a large part of the problem is how rabid his fanbase is, so any kind of criticism gets buried under threats and just, people blowing smoke up his ass, and that is not helpful to him as a creator!! Dude wants to grow and improve, stop telling them genloss is the best thing since sliced bread!!

Let him get his feelings hurt over this, let them take that and make it their drive, let him know he can do better.

If you keep settling for mediocrity, you never push yourself to do something great.

But that’s just my two cents. Thank you for letting me word vomit in your inbox, I have been going crazy and I will likely be back <3

-the author anon

this blog is collecting anons representing all the creative aspects of gen loss like pokemon. first film student anon. now author anon.

but in all seriousness i'm glad this blog is a breath of fresh air for you <3 you're right! my first couple attempts at writing (mostly fanfiction, some original) i am very glad they do not exist online. part of writing well is being kind of really bad at it for a bit. ive taken a writing class (in college) and the entire foundation of that class was "we will write and then your classmates will give you feedback" and it made a lot of my work so much better. feedback is like. how you get good and i feel like you're right, the fanbase does drown a lot of that out (hence me making a dedicated blog!)

i hadn't heard of the gen loss book concept before this but. i can't imagine it would be super great at the current form of gen loss is in. and writing is so much more than "here's the plot" like. establishing a good setting and sense of place and making us actually connect with the protagonist and. author anon that awakened something in me

Let him get his feelings hurt over this, let them take that and make it their drive, let him know he can do better. If you keep settling for mediocrity, you never push yourself to do something great.

anyways. great thoughts! reposting that quote for those in the back :)

[squirrelno2]

Actually no it pisses me the fuck off when people are like "this is for kids we can't hold it to high narrative standards" yes the fuck we can??? That's when we should??? And that's definitely when we should examine the implications and impact of a work, not just the intent behind it or the surface level stuff, because it's for children. They do not have the critical thinking skills that adult readers (hopefully) have developed, they are learning, and they will absorb a fuck ton of learned behaviors from story without ever realising. You have to look at kids media like "this has to be that deep actually" because kids are going to listen! Adults tell stories! Adults are authority so story is authority! There's an entire Sondheim song about this!!! ("Careful the things you say, children will listen" anybody???)

Cressida Cowell is my favorite example of this because her How to Train Your Dragon books almost definitely Weren't That Deep to begin with. (With the caveat that I am not her and so cannot be sure.) The first few books were very much "haha funny dragons, isn't it fun they can talk" - and then you can kind of watch in realtime over the course of the books as she realised the implications of having an entire group of sentient beings with their own language and culture be regularly kidnapped as infants by people who keep them as pets/weapons/tools - and instead of asking her child readers not to look at that, to pretend it's not that bad, she turns around and asks us to look closer. To consider what all this means, that the characters we know and love who don't seem like bad people have also participated in this all along. There are no easy answers! It's absolutely stomach turning, and though she speaks simply to the child reader she never pulls her punches! I'm sure there are people who have issues with her execution and I'm not here to say it's perfect but god. That's how to handle children's media with unfortunate implications. Lean into it, don't tell the kids to ignore it. That's how they learn to ignore all the real world shit, they end up with so much practice.

Just because something is how it is doesn't mean it's not worth looking closer. Teach children that from the start. Don't shy away from your characters participating in fucked up systems just because you think they need to be the good guys. If they're going to be good, make them good, and make them deal with the fallout when they're not.

[distant--shadow]

get to know meme

lil thing where I'll give a bit too much detail so it fills its purpose, honoured honestly to be tagged by three of my favourite writers in this space @sharkodactyl, @unicyclehippo , and @astoriacolumnstaircase - anyone reading this should be reading their works instead.

favourite colour: brown(s), like a mid to a dark tone, i like them to have a bit of red involved. like our old-boy chet, I love the wood. my dream home would be all wood-panelled with built in inlayed and set back shelves and nooks a plenty and yeah just full of brik-a-brak. otherwise my favourite colours are navy blue and greens that are more mixed with blue than yellow, teals and emeralds and once again generally around the mid tones. green makes me very happy. moss and outdoors and all that.

currently reading: fic. haha. (suss my recommend reading tag) I did venture out to my (very) local queer bookshop and asked them for something that won't send me on a spiral if I'm already on one/provide some escapism and they reccomended river of teeth by Sarah gailey. anyone I've said about it to seems real enthusiastic about it, I am not well read at all when it comes to published things, tend to just get really into a few fandom authors works and picking them apart (rereading a lot) . still haven't started it but maybe I'll try take it out to the park in the next week or so. I'm dabbling in reading (and unfortunately writing) poetry thanks to @picturesofthegoneworlds and @blorbotomy 's influence, those mini books are fun to keep on you when out and about, poem or two on a tree stump or boulder with a grand vista and a brain that wants eyes on a phone screen.

last song: last song I consciously (not background music) listened to was:

I went on an early lord snow stint the other night because the air smelt crisp and there was a nice chill. they have remained my favourite heavy (as a broad term) band for a decade now.

I used to have music on all of the time, whether that be cd's at home or in my mp3 player (that I still take out with me) but these days I find listening more of an intentional activity and I prefer to have people just nattering when I'm at home and want background noise. think it's where my heads at and I've just got more sensitive to being overstimulated I guess. I was also pretty good at going to a live gig at least once a week before I did my back in, looking forward to getting into that habit again.

last series: I don't watch much stuff outside of critical role, least other than YouTube videos I'll put on whislt I'm drawing. oh wait yeah I ordered 3 seasons of xena on ebay because it's like a couple of quid a season and it is a real good comfort show and fucking amazing. I hadn't seen it since I was pre teen and it was on day time TV and I'd catch it on sick days. the amount of people I've brought it up to these past few months who've been so stoked to be reminded of it/eager to watch it with me is actually hilarious.

last movie: uhhhh God movies I watch even less. I haven't been to a cinema in over 12 years now, just not my thing, and it's funny caus my mum used to work in the film and TV industry and we had shelves and shelves full of VHS growing up (mostly bootlegged) and she can just ramble about pretty much any early era film up to the stuff from the 80s (when she was working on em) for days. never could sit through em, never felt satisfied with how the story went. guess that's why actual play appeals to me. but saying all this I did rewatch Bound for the first time since I was like 15 last month or so, enjoyed it a lot more than I did back then.

sweet/savory/spicy: savory all day. I am a salt fiend. I used to think I'd be fortunate enough to die from my salt intake. I'll put it on anything. cereal, toast, fruit. I think the other day I noted the one thing I wouldn't put it on, but I can't recall that right now honestly. it's gotta be decent salt too, sea salt or rock salt that has some texture and delicious flavour, I'm not fucking with that table salt shit. I carry salt with me in a mini mason jar everywhere I go, saves when you only have access to bland cold supermarket food. one of my earliest memories is when I was like 6 I had had my daily 1 glass allowance of squash/fruit cordial in my white Tom and Jerry printed beaker with the accordion bendy straw and so when I was pouring myself a glass of water from the tap I put salt in it caus I wanted flavour that would not show through the white translucent container. it's all been downhill from there, although I also, luckily I guess caus otherwise I would be really fucked, do drink a lot of water.

currently working on: myself and healing. hah. I never realised how much paperwork and phone calls came with this maintenance shit. I'm still out of work, and my mental health has taken a huge hit from not being able to do the things I usually would. so right now I'm just trying to keep everything together. I can draw again though, so sorry about that.

I never know who to tag in these things caus I don't think everyone wants to do them. so I'll go with this being open invite as always. hope anyone who read this far is having a good week, and sentiment is still there even if you didn't read this (unless you don't deserve my well wishes, then fuck you.)

[rjalker]

"you should talk more about what you like about The Murderbot Diaries instead of just complaining about the bigotry and bad writing!"

It's funny, it's entertaining. That's about it.

They first 5 books, chronologically, are extremely episodic and insular. There's no real overarching plot or anything to seriously connect each story besides the existance of the character, and the episodic parts are so shallow there's really nothing to talk about besides just summarizing the plot.

That's why I liked this series. It's light reading. Takes no brainpower.

Until of course we get to the two absolute failures of novels, but that's another thing entirely.

There's no worldbuilding for me to talk about, the characters aren't actually deep enough to explore without making everything up.

The Murderbot Diaries is funny. It's easy reading. It's entertaining.

What else do you want me to say? Should I summarize the plots? Should I waste my time doing worldbuilding that Martha Wells refuses to do herself when I'm not getting paid for it?

Sure, speculation can be fun, but not if I have to do literally all the work, which is what The Murderbot Diaires is demanding of me. And if I have to put in so much effort as to build the entire setting from the ground up from scratch because it just straight up doesn't exist in th text, I'd rather be putting that effort towards my own original characters and settings.

Martha Wells didn't even bother to tell us that Murderbot's fingers are metal until seven whole books in. And we don't even know anything about the rest of its body, besides that its feet don't look like human feet in some way we're never going to get specifics on.

There's not really any way to talk about what's good about The Murderbot Diaries besides saying "it's funny, it's entertaining, so far it respects touch averse people and aroace people".

Because anything more than that would literally just require me to spell out the plots for each extremely simple book. And it's not even like the plots themselves are particularly good or interesting.

Like, these are novelas that don't even put in as much world building as any random short story from 1930. What am I supposed to say about them besides the basics of "I liked reading them over four times now and I'll reread them again in the future?"

I know no one wants to admit it, but this series, excluding the two trainwrecks of full-length novels, is extremely light reading.

They're quite literally not that deep in terms of worldbuilding and characterization. Murderbot could be replaced with any other Martha Wells protagonist without any changes to the plot.

It's such light reading I could probably convince my mom to read the first book if I really wanted to. And that's saying something.

If you want to expend your creative energy doing all the work that's literally Martha Wells job, you can. But if I'm going to be expected to create an entire setting from the ground up and take characters from 1D blatantly Mary Sue concepts to round character...I'll just create OCs and get paid for my hard work.

I'm willing to spend a lot of energy on fandom creations if there's actually real world building and real characterization for me to work with. Not if I have to do literally all of the work myself because the author's too lazy to do it themselves.

There's not a lot of things to praise about The Murderbot Diaries without just straight out listing out the plots of each story, which is nothing but spoilers anyways, because the good things are subjective, and very shallowly written, but there sure as well are a lot of things to criticize that don't require specific spoilers.

whatcha want me to do, summarize the plot like a chatGPT?

[child-of-hurin]

my love @kareenvorbarra tagged me to share 5 books read since September that I have loved.

Clarimonde (La Morte Amoureuse), Téophile Gautier -- I don't have a single criticism to make about this book :) A wonderful read, I especially loved the execution of the part where the protagonist doesn't know which life is real and which is a dream. I listened to the old Brazilian Portuguese translation available on the Conto um Conto podcast feed and thought it was excellent, e uma amiga leu a belíssima edição da editora Wish e também elogiou bastante -- fica a dica pros lusófonos daqui :)

Le Cycle de la Belle Dame sans Mercy, David Hult & Joan McRae -- It's an anthology of poems and/or contemporary literary endeavors related to La Belle Dame sans Mercy (Alain Chartier), and it's very interesting, and a lot of fun to read, even if sometimes one can't help the exasperation at how much our titular character has to go through for the crime of... being the object of an extremely insistent suitor's obsession :P It's really interesting to see the ways in which many different readers reacted to it though, and a nice contrast to the Roman de la rose that I had just finished. And the poetry itself is lovely -- I wish there was audio or video available of someone reading it out loud, but if there is, I can't seem to find it :'(

Antes do Baile Verde, Lygia Fagundes Telles -- A collection of short stories, I think most of them are available individually in English but the collection itself doesn't seem to have ever been translated into this language. I recently got obsessed with The Hunt (one of the stories), and after listening to every single recording of it I could find, I decided to read it for myself, and ended up reading the whole book, and it's really excellent, I love the way she builds and holds (and almost never resolves) the tension... One of my favorite short story writers ^^

Vita Nostra, Marina and Sergey Dyachenko -- I LOOOOOVED this book, so much that I do not know how to talk about it. I loved it and I haven't stopped thinking about it since I finished reading it. I am on the verge of rereading it though I know I should wait longer... Anyway if anyone has read insightful conversation/reviews of this book that go beyond praising it, please let me know, I'm very interested!

The Obelisk Gate, N.K. Jemisin -- It's such a wonderful experience to read an author who has both a vision and the technical skill to pull it off! My favorite thing about this specific volume were the visuals, I really think they were incredible. I have already forgotten parts of the plot, but I think I remember vividly every single scene with a stone-eater. I'm also sooo pleased by the way she looks at greater social power structures! Been A WHILE since I read original setting fantasy with an actual spine. TBH I was 100% burned out on that specific genre for a while and The Fifth Season is what brought me back. On the side of things I didn't like, there are a couple (that "magic" vocabulary scene was genuinely cringe imo...), but mostly I wish there was more commonplace tenderness, both in-narrative and on a meta level. If it wasn't for Hoa as a narrative element, this book would be unreadable (to me ofc).

Tag uuuh @ourlightsinvain @imindhowwelayinjune @thelioninmybed @bamboocounting @vardasvapors @anghraine @yavieriel @medievalcat @seagodofmagic @hadrianspaywall @nelyafinwe (are you in the room with us giulia...) @hoeratius & anyone else who feels like doing it :)

[quaranmine]

Book Reviews with Quara

Since I keep talking about audiobooks, now I want to do a sort of mini book review of the books I've read since starting to "seriously" pick up reading again last year. Also I just like typing about things. I'm skipping Fire Season by Philip Connors and Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams because I've spoken about them already. Keep in mind I am not super-super critical of reading material; generally if I enjoyed it I'm giving 5 stars. If I disliked it though I get a lot more critical because then I want to start analyzing what didn't work for me. Now go forth and learn about what my reading taste is when I'm not reading/writing angsty mcyt fanfic!

Books I loved, aka 5 stars:

Cold Storage by David Koepp

This was the first book I checked out from Libby and it was a banger. I am still trying to replicate that high tbh. When I gave my mom access to my library card in Libby (her rural library has nothing and my city library has everything) I made her check it out too. The narration on the audiobook is fantastic. My mom raved about the narration and basically says she doesn't want to check anything out that wasn't as good--regularly her reviews to me are "good narrator, not as good as that Cold Storage book" lmao. You may know David Koepp as the guy who wrote the Jurassic Park screenplay. This is his first novel.

It's about a mutated fungus that is a sci-fi version of the very real Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, which is more commonly known as the zombie-ant fungus. In this book, a version of Cordyceps can infect all lifeforms, including humans, and has been locked away deep in a former US military vault that has since been sold and converted into an underground storage facility. The plot follows two unlikely protags who work in the storage facility, as well as the two retired military people who are the only ones to have seen the fungi in action, as they try to prevent it from being released into the world. It's funny, horrifying, and gory.

They are making a movie of this book. The release date is tentatively 2024, but I worry about it because I have heard so little news on it. They did do filming though. I have high hopes because they cast Joe Keery as a main character, which I think is perfect casting for the guy in question. I have low hopes because they cast Liam Neeson, a white man, as a character who was originally Hispanic and (as I just noticed while writing this) changed the character's name to be more white. Ugh. Who is Robert Quinn and what did you do with Roberto Diaz???????

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

What if you got kidnapped and woke up in a parallel world where everybody knew who you were, but they think you're someone else? What if you're just a quantum physics professor, but this other version of you is a successful theoretical researcher? What if your wife never married you in this universe, and your son was never born? How do you get back home? This book is constantly pulling out interesting new questions, twists, and places to explore. Also I liked that while it does feature romance pretty prominently, it's about a guy who just really loves his wife of 15 years and wants to see her again. I just like it when men love their wives.

Also, a fair amount of Goodreads reviews poke fun at this author for having way too much fun hitting the enter key on his keyboard, but since I listened to the audiobook I never had to deal with any annoying formatting choices lol

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

I feel like we all know about this one already, tbh. If you don't, heavy tw for child abuse and eating disorders. Tread carefully. It's worth it though if you are confident you won't get triggered. If you haven't read it I recommend the audiobook specifically because Jennette narrates it herself and that gives the book so much extra. It was a 6 hour audiobook and I was gripped by it all day.

Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister

BACKWARDS TIMELOOP BABEYY!!! This one was great. It's about a Mom who witnesses her teenage son kill a man. Every day she wakes up in the past again until she can solve why this happened, the mystery leading up to it that entangles her family, and try to prevent it. First she ways up the day before, then two days, then three, then a two weeks, then a few months, then a few years--until her son hasn't even been born yet. I enjoyed it. Also a plus for British accent narrator (can you tell I'm American....)

A Rip Through Time by Kelley Armstrong

This one was fun. I checked it out because it was longish and I had to drive like 8 hrs roundtrip for a work trip, so I listened to this the entire way. It's about a (Canadian) woman named Mallory who was a police detective in the modern day, who gets attacked while out for a jog in Edinburgh, Scotland. The attacker strangles her and she goes unconscious. When she wakes up, however, she finds herself in someone else's body--in the Victorian era. She's now a 19 year old housemaid, and has to adapt as quickly as possible to avoid suspicion. She quickly finds out that she works for a man named Dr. Duncan Gray, who is a medical examiner. And there's a person who's been murdered in a very similar way to how Mallory herself was attacked. And she's quickly finding out that the person who's body she's in was not well-liked.

My favorite part about this one is the emphasis it has on early forensics in Victorian Scotland. Dr. Gray is a fantastic character and it is so interesting to see him doing his lil cutting-edge forensics research (which Mallory, being educated in modern times, wants desperately to help him with.) Also the narrator, while being Canadian, does Scottish accents for all the Scottish characters. I'm not the best person to ask as someone who isn't Scottish but I thought the accents sounded pretty good lol

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

My mom recommended this one to me. It's also a lot of fun. The title is, mostly, accurate. Ernest Cunningham (protag) is a writer, who mostly creates how-to books for mystery novelists he sells on Amazon. No, he doesn't write mysteries, he just writes the how-to books. But he's very well-versed in the "rules" of how to write a classic mystery! He promises that, as the narrator of this story, he will always be an entirely reliable narrator. The book itself is obviously fiction but within the narrative of the book, it is being told like a nonfiction account of something that the main character is writing down. This book is sort of a bottle mystery--strange murders while everyone is snowed in at a ski resort during a family reunion, anyone? The main character is funny and breaks the fourth wall often. I am convinced that there is a separate audiobook specific version since the narration within the book references it being an audiobook. The main character will be like "so, you probably realize this isn't the real killer, since we still have 4 hours of the book left to listen to" lol. I almost want to check out a print copy of this to see if the text is different.

Starter Villain by John Scalzi

First one on the list that I didn't listen to as an audiobook. Honestly, I probably read this book in 4 hours flat. Three of those hours just dead-focused while on a plane (with the book's hold expiring as soon as I landed and took my phone off airplane mode.)

I don't really know how to explain this one. I don't think I understood what it was about until I actually got like 4 chapters in and then I couldn't stop. It's just off-the wall ridiculous. There are talking cats. There are dolphins that want to unionize. There is a volcano lair. There are explosions and assasination attempts. There is a reasonably bleakly accurate capitalist picture of what "villainy" means in our world. There is a poor main character in over his head as he learns he's inherited all this from an uncle he never saw. This book is like...satire comedy. Comedy and outlandish but you're also depressed about billionaires a little while reading it.

Books I thought were Okay (3-4 stars but actually I gave both these 4 stars I think)

The Poisoner's Ring by Kelley Armstrong

The second book to the book I mentioned above. Honestly, I remember very well what the first book was about (i typed the summary by memory) but I have trouble remembering specifics about this one. It's a bit too long as well, at 14 hours. I don't have anything bad to say about it, I just didn't enjoy it quite as much as the first one.

But honestly I do remember it was still a good time. I just really like Dr Gray as a character and the setting, early forensic science focus, etc. These books are also setting up to be an EXTREME slow burn romance between Gray and Mallory, which I don't mind. (Literally by book 2 the most we have is that she thinks he's attractive, so at this rate it will take us 3 more books to get anywhere lol.) I will be checking out the 3rd book when it is released this spring.

Someone Else's Shoes by Jojo Moines

Also a book that suffered from being too long. It's a 12 hour audiobook but I think that it could have been 8 or 9 hours and gotten the same point across. My mom recommended this to me. It's narrated by Daisy Ridley, who does a good job. I enjoyed it, but I also started to feel like I really wanted it to be done?

Also unsure how to describe this one. Slightly-contrived-but-cute plot about how a bag switch up in a gym connects two women's stories. One is a, frankly quite annoying, American woman who married rich but has now been completely cut off from her money (and even passport) by her ex-husband who's cheating on her with a younger woman. One is a British woman with low self-esteem and a bad job who is struggling to keep her family afloat while her husband suffers from severe depression. I think my favorite was a side character named Jasmine who brought light to every scene imo.

Books I disliked (2 stars but after writing this review I almost want to make it 1 star)

Aurora by David Koepp

David I really believed in you after Cold Storage. But imo, this book isn't it. It throws away every interesting part of its apocalypse-level plot to focus on the characters. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good character-focused plot, except I never connected with anyone in the book. I just kind of didn't enjoy any of them. This is a story that is supposed to be about a solar flare taking out all electricity and communications for most of the world. And it only covers like a few days after the disaster AND THEN TIME SKIPS LIKE 8 MONTHS UNTIL EVERYTHING IS HAPPILY SOLVED NEIGHBORHOOD UTOPIA STYLE. I'm sorry????? Assuming I can believe that this little suburban Illinois cul-de-sac has managed to set up subsistence farming in a few months and is living perfectly happily, why would you....not show me how that happened.....

Also the "everything fits together" character moment at the end felt unearned. I was like yeah, okay, I guess this slots together. But the author didn't earn that moment for me. Instead of connecting with the characters and the plot and getting invested I felt like I was just being....told that everything worked out?? Or told that this was an important moment instead of actually Feeling the moment? It's hard to explain but I was like ok great thanks let's all go home now.

Sigh. I just can't get over the whole "throwing away the most interesting part of your setting" part. Again. Why would you spend a significant time setting up the science and how much of a disaster the solar flare is and then not show any of the characters figuring out how to survive it long-term....?

Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

This book has such a high rating. It's very popular right now. It took me like 12 weeks of waiting for my hold to come up, and that's with the library having 7 copies.

It is, supposedly, about a smart octopus named Marcellus who helps an elderly lady solve the mystery of her son's disappearance at sea when he was a teenager.

In practice, it is about one minute at a time of Marcellus (the best part of the book) and extended sections of characters that I don't care about at all. I assume all the pieces of the story were supposed to come together later, but I was just highly bored. I was so bored that I DNF'd at 25% when my hold was up. I do not care enough to wait weeks to check it out again. Based on the one star reviews I read, the characters I didn't like did not develop into better people later and remained similarly annoying. Now, I don't need characters to be good people of course. But I do expect to be interested in them. I still don't know how the son's disappearance factors in because I felt like I heard barely anything about the supposed main character woman.

I feel vindicated because my coworker also checked out the book and told me a few weeks ago that she was at 50% and there still wasn't anything happening in the plot. I will ask her tomorrow if she finished it or not and if it ever got better.

Write an entire book for Marcellus the octopus and I'll check it out...

Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn

This book had so much potential. It's about a group of four women who were formerly assasins but are now retiring at 60. To celebrate retirement, they go on a cruise and then realize that they're the new targets for assasination, presumably because they know too much about the organization that used to employ them.

In execution....very meh. I actually had a Libby glitch on this one, where I think I missed about 1.5 hrs of narration total because the book skipped twice. I have no concept of which parts I missed. What I do know is that, the book was already so cobbled together before the first skip that I didn't realize I had missed anything until the end. Like sure, parts didn't make sense, but I was ready to accept that it was just Like That since the rest of the book was like that. After reading a bunch of reviews of this book I am convinced that there is NO way that all of its flaws can be explained by me missing a small part. After all, I did listen to 8.5 hours of it still.

The characters never felt their age to me. I felt like they either acted like they were 80 or 90, or like they were 20. It just seemed odd to me. The characters also felt very 2D, like the author wrote down three traits per person and called it good. There's a younger woman who appears to know the main character and conveniently helps the group, but I literally never figured out where their relationship originated or how they knew each other. Maybe I missed that too. By the end of the book I still didn't know who anyone was and couldn't remember which person was the main character. The plot jumped around to new locations constantly and often with little transition--this happened even on the parts where I definitely didn't get a skipping glitch. The main villain was a guy I literally had barely heard anything of til that point, although perhaps he came up in the 1.5 hrs I missed. They described the same painting in excruciating detail THREE separate times. It was...too feminist? Feminist in a contrived way where I have to be reminded every 5 minutes the characters are women? Like, I know, I am reading a story about women. Please don't mention it several times a chapter. There are ethical and moral considerations about their profession and chosen organization that never really get given the weight required. There was a love interest for the main character that I hadn't heard of once until he was introduced like an hour from the end--maybe I missed more about him in the parts I skipped? Unknown.

ANNND THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!

[why-is-james-on-here]

I just finished a shitty Christian fantasy novel. Rant time!

I wish I could start this review with some snarky comment making fun of how awful this book is. I wish I could talk about how it murders the English language on every page or how it made me feel mental anguish on par with physical pain. I can’t though. If Leviathan was the worst book ever, that would be something. Instead this book is… empty. It’s a tale based in Christian mythology, all about the life of Noah when he was a young man, long before God told him to build the Ark so he could escape the Great Flood. It takes place in a world filled with angels, giants, dragons (actually dinosaurs in this world), and at the center of it is a man chosen by God to do great things. Does that sound cool? Well, yeah, I thought so too. There are 2 issues (at least 2 big issues, there’s plenty of small ones) that prevent this book from being… anything. 1: The author believes that all of this is literally true. He genuinely believes that the Earth is only a few thousand years old and dinosaurs lived with humans in Biblical times. That’s hardcore stupid on its own, then you realize it means that R.M. Huffman believes this book is all true. Maybe parts of it are fictional in his mind, but which parts? It’s impossible to say. Imagine if J.R.R. Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings under the impression it was real. He wouldn’t be writing it to make interesting characters or a cool world to explore or a story with heart, he’d be writing it with religious reverence. He’d be copying something someone else already made without any new ideas or themes added and expecting everyone else to admire it as much as he does. And if anyone doesn’t admire it, it’s because they hate God and Christians. No need for self-reflection or taking criticism, because this isn’t actually a fantasy novel (in his mind). The issue here is not that the author has different beliefs than me, or even that he’s clumsily pushing them in his book. The issue is that there is nothing here beyond his beliefs, which brings me to the next point. 2: There are maybe 6 events that transpire over the course of more than 400 pages. This isn’t an adventure, or even a series of adventures, it’s just Noah. Noah hanging around at home and basking in everyone talking about how great he is and how he’s destined for great things. Noah going to get help for his town without running into trouble. Noah coming up with brilliant plans to defeat villains such as “If we want to kill the Leviathan we have to break it’s skull open with an ax!” Great plan, mate, no one else could have come up with that. That might be fine if Noah had any personality or interesting things to say/do, he doesn’t though. He’s just the hero because the author made him the hero, and the author made him the hero because the Bible did. There’s a final battle near the end which, to be fair, isn’t half bad. It would be better if the protagonist actually did things instead of just knowing how to win without effort, but y’know, I’ve read worse. The only real entertainment value it has is to remember that the author believes this is all literally true. He’s an insane dipshit who believes humans and dinosaurs lived together, this isn’t a fantasy world for him, its existence is a religious fact, never to be questioned. And if anyone does question it, they must be attacked/silenced. So I can’t even act like this book is the worst thing ever. I want to channel my inner Roger Ebert to roast it until it’s reduced to ashes so I can scatter them on the wind. I can’t though. And even if I could, this book isn’t worth it. There is nothing here, not even anything to mock. I know Christian conservatives would say that dog shit tasted like candy if the dog claimed to love Jesus first, so I expect at least some hate for this negative review. I don’t care though. This book isn’t bad because it’s Christian, it’s bad because it’s bad.