#it's hard to wrangle optimists sometimes

[thornsnvultures]

For book asks 10, 14, & 15 please. 📚

10. answered here

14. do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

Sometimes, but I usually use a receipt bookmark.

15. Recommend and review a book

Oh goodness. I'll go with the book I'm reading right now, The Orc and Her Bride. It's a sapphic fantasy romance about a rakish Elf princess and a sweet, straight-laced Orc princess who are betrothed to be married to make an alliance between their two countries.

The Elf princess is spoiled and unlikeable but in like a "Ooh I can't wait to see how she grows and changes and learns to be better" kind of way, if that makes sense? lol She's not cruel or mean, but she's lived a kind of sheltered life and is stubborn to a fault about having things her way. Her father, the king, is pretty tired of her shenanigans and sleeping around and pretty much uses her for his own political gain by dumping her in this foreign country all alone.

Which is when we meet the Orc princess. She's adorable and such an absolute sweetheart. I love her so much and I'm only halfway through the book lol She's basically wrangling this brat around with her for the next 50 days (as is custom) until they're due to marry. She feels terrible that the king tricked his daughter into this sham marriage, but she's got this "let's make the most of it, maybe we'll grow to like each other" optimistic vibe to her that really makes up for the Elf princess' misgivings.

I'm only about halfway through the book now but I'm really enjoying it. The two main characters have such distinct voices and I love a fantasy novel that doesn't bog you down with lore and infodumping about kingdoms and customs. The way information unfolds between the characters feels natural, like they're actual people with wants and goals lol

I hope this makes any sense I'm cocooned in bed with a nasty head cold rn lol but I can't recommend this book enough. (I haven't gotten there yet, but if the ending blows I'll let you know lol) I read a lot of terrible romance and this book is so far hitting hard for me. Two thumbs up 👍👍

book asks

[riacte]

G-d mint is literally being slept on so hard, at least on reddit

The reason they don't have one like "s-tier/carry" like a lot of teams do is because they're all good! They have the potential to do really well and people are totally underestimating them (literally Joel's team came 9th in all stars and he still got 20th individual)

😔Reddit’s always like that lmfao, I’ve learned to live with it. (I did see one post in furious defence of “bottom” teams like Mint and Cyan I am not using cerulean or however you spell it)

Pssssh. People have been so used to the narrative of “builders (in particular hermits) only succeeding when they’re with S tiers”, which is only reinforced by hermit adoption memes, that the fact all four of Mint are good is glossed over.

Scott’s magic scoring for Mint ranking first still mystifies me but whatever. Mint is a solid team. At the very least, it’ll be an interesting deviant from the typical hermit + “carry” team dynamic. And I don’t think we should treat this team like Aqua12 (even thought they share similarities). All four of them are confident and much better players now.

ALSO as I said before, I’m interested to see how they’ll handle the leadership role. For Purple15, I think the builder trio were trying to lean on Illumina because he’s a sweat, he’s a PvPer, he’s amazing at the game, etc etc. But when Illumina understandably muted himself for HiTW, the other three got through the game just fine with chill yet clear comms, showing that sometimes they didn’t need their star player. (Of course this might just apply to HiTW, which is one of the most “individual” games in the roster compared to stuff like Battle Box when they actually need to fight.) Which led me to think— maybe they can actually pop off when they are “forced” to rely on themselves.

Like you said, we know Joel is perfectly capable of that, Martyn has been fairly consistent as well. False is the kind of player that specially benefits from the H/Pete boost, but she’s improving lots now. (This reminds me that we need a FalsePete team sometime soon. If Grian can team with Pete so many times, why not FalsePete ;-;) Ren is the type of guy who sacrifices his individual points for team points. Ren is a rare player who is not only ready to Risk It All for his team, can and will sacrifice himself (think of him throwing his armour at Fruit), but is also incredibly optimistic and motivating. Maybe his placements aren’t the best, but he is absolutely invaluable support.

I highlighted Martyn and False in particular because I feel Martyn has a good survival sense (seen in 3L / LL) and is usually quite vocal and can smoothly connect with people, which makes him a good leader. False is good at wrangling people (the All Stars Grid Runners lmao) and keeps the comms going. She explains things clearly and patiently (like the Twitch Rivals with X lol). Her comms skills are probably more useful then I make them seem on paper because I have been brought up on a strict diet of False/Ren POVs and Don’t Have Much to Compare With (“What do you mean efficient comms aren’t typical for every single team?)

Almost forgot to mention this but Ren absolutely popped off in his first Minedraft, he was practically leading his team, he was so excited and confident, and that was when he was on a team with strangers. I really liked watching him back then and it’ll be so good to see something like that again.

But then again the existence of this team is already a win— heck, having all four of them in a MCC is already a achievement (hermitblr we can stop crying now). Regardless of what place they’ll end up in, they’ll still my pov to watch (I say it like I don’t watch the False/Ren team every single time) <33

[aggressivelyclueless]

blood moon

in which danny needs a little help

contains: a portal

warning: some blood n stuff

The Halloween Night Fights were impossible.

Danny flew back, crashing through an empty storefront and landing amidst a flurry of splinters and broken glass.  He lay there for a second, wrangling soreness and countless cuts and scrapes and now the pounding ache where his head had slammed against the floorboards; he hauled himself up to his feet again, coming out in time to see the unruly ghost descend.

This time around, next-in-line to get a few hits in, was Ember.

She floated over him, her spirit guitar poised to blow the whole building down.  He hadn't seen her flaming hair dance that high in months - she wasn't just fighting, she was thriving, same as all the other ghosts in town on Halloween night.

All of them except for him, it seemed.

It was only because of the split-second that she hesitated that he was able to bring the thermos around and pull her in.  Maybe she felt bad for him - Kitty had felt bad earlier, telling him not to run himself too ragged - or maybe she had just been hoping he'd have stayed down.

And, fuck, he wished he could afford to stay down.

He drifted upward, casting a glance at the clouds overhead with a sigh.  He didn't even have the stars for good luck tonight; somehow, despite that it didn't really make any tangible difference, that hurt the most.  Maybe that was why he was getting his ass kicked so hard, he thought sourly.  If the stars came out later, maybe he'd do better.

If he lasted that long, anyhow.  He wasn't too optimistic.

He flew over the streets, hoping for a somewhat easier fight.  His thermos was only half full at the moment; he ran through a handful of names internally, trying to remember who he'd caught and who he hadn't, and who would hit the hardest if he left them for too long.  Skulker, probably.  There was a guy who could hit, and Danny's chances with him weren't stellar even on a normal night.

Danny settled on one of the lampposts, which went dark at his touch, and scanned the streets.  The bad feeling in his gut twisted sharply, making him wince.  That went beyond plain and simple dread - it wasn't just that he was struggling.  Something was wrong.

The distortion in the middle of the road was slight, and he almost missed it.  He flew over, abandoning the lamppost in favor of an equally uncomfortable perch on the stoplight over the intersection.  It popped and went dark, and without the light Danny could make out the shape a little better.  Vaguely circular, roughly the size of the intersection itself - it wasn't quite solid, wasn't quite transparent, and when he drifted down to investigate it looked as if the pavement underfoot was shimmering like a heat mirage.  It declined to give way under his touch - but it felt somehow like he couldn't trust it not to change its mind.

A portal? he wondered.  He knew that the one in the lab at home wasn't the only one in existence - they came and went on their own sometimes, although he'd never actually seen it until now.

That would explain the bad feeling, then.  Anything could get loose through one like this.  Of course, Halloween was the night for it to happen.

What if he could get help, then?  His parents wouldn't listen if he flew home and asked, but if he texted them - if he said, perhaps, that there was a particularly scary-looking ghost lurking around - they'd come running.  And then?  Do what?  He wasn't sure if there was a way these kinds of portals could be closed, only that they appeared seemingly at their own discretion.

This one, at least, seemed to be on its way in rather than on its way out.  Once it was open - well.  Then it would be chaos.

The clouds overhead were thinning, and he was starting to catch winks of starlight between them.  It wasn't much but he wasn't going to refuse it - even a brief twinkle of luck was better than nothing - but it was as the moon began to show itself that it hit him.

A burning, bloody red, the moon stared down at him as if passing judgment, and the portal ripped itself open into a churning vortex of unearthly green.  Formless ghosts and shadows and wisps and phantasms crawled forth, mouths gaping and eyes hollow and black, and the pit in Danny's stomach dropped out.

He couldn't do it.  He had to find help.  He turned tail and bolted.  His first thought was Valerie - he knew she was out there, and had been purposely avoiding her earlier.  If it were up to him, he'd keep avoiding her, but this threw everything out the window.

Danny sailed over the rooftops, hoping to spot her.  It wasn't difficult; she was in with a handful of malevolent shadows, not unlike the one that Johnny Thirteen had domesticated, but by the time that he flew down to her she'd obliterated them.

And then the tip of her blaster was trained on him, and she fired before either of them could think.  Her aim was good; he felt the shot tear through him in an instant of hot-needled panic, and his hand came up to the hole that went clean through his chest.  That was the end of him, he thought dimly, this would make him stay down.

But it didn't.  He faltered, but rather than drop he drifted back up again, his fingers stained a furious green but the pain already becoming dull and distant.  The wet, gurgling sound of flesh knitting itself closed; then he was whole again, save for the gap in his suit to mark where he'd been hit.

The blood moon had done it.  How, he didn't know, only that the thin ring in his periphery that allowed him to see in the dark had turned from an irradiated lime to a burning crimson.  It was fueling him - more than that, it was fueling the portal, and it was probably what had been fueling the other ghosts all night.

Things were going to get very ugly tonight.  He still wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it on his own.

"Val," he said, with an extra distorted echo in his voice that wasn't there before, "Listen.  Please.  I need your help tonight."

"Do you?" said Valerie, who had watched him stitch back together before her eyes and still had her blaster trained on him anyway, "You don't look like it.  Why should I help you?"

Danny floated back, only a little, and looked down at her.  "Because neither of us can afford to be on our own.  Shoot at me if you want - tomorrow.  Things are about to get really nasty.  I want to have your back, and I want you to have mine.  Just this once."

Valerie hesitated.  In truth, the phantom gave her a terrible feeling - but part of her knew he was right.  The ghosts were tearing through town in hordes tonight, and if she was honest she didn't want to have to fight him alongside all the rest of them.  Finally she nodded.

"Fine.  Just this once - just for Halloween."

[ariadne-mouse]

for the meme: 🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

Tough question! There are a lot of things about writing that are hard for me.

One of them is writing when I'm not inspired, and then taking that mediocre work and trying to turn it into something I like. I find that doing this is an important part of my process and maintaining a writing habit (first drafts can be terrible, just write) and it's how I've finished many fics. But oh man, sometimes it is like pulling teeth. After I excitedly scrawled the exciting bits of my current polymorph fic WIP, for instance, the rest has mostly been fueled by stubbornness. Accordingly it needs very heavy editing! I'm optimistic but heavy editing is so much more work.

Adjacent to this - completing the last 15-20% of a longer fic where you have to pay off on a bunch of things you've set up and ideally wrangle sense, impact, and closure out of what you've written. (I am also @'ing a specific WIP on this one, haha.) I do enjoy the challenge of that kind of thing, though, and the reward of pulling off what I set out to do.

Thanks for the ask! :)

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2020 Day 13

Flesh - Fruit

I know I just did a sick fic, but let's be real here, you an never have enough of those, so have another one ;) 

Jiang Cheng wakes up to a blinding headache, a stuffed nose and a scratchy throat.

He groans into his pillow before he’s even really awake and then he blindly reaches for his phone. He pulls up his last conversation with Lan Xichen and then types out a message with just one eye open.

I don’t want to see you today, do NOT come over.

As soon as he sends it he realizes that it sounds entirely too mean without context, so he quickly types out a I’m sick and don’t want to infect you, too but before he’s even halfway through that message his phone lights up with an incoming call.

It’s Lan Xichen, of course.

“It’s too early for me to have done anything to make you mad,” is what Lan Xichen greets him with, clearly trying for a light tone, but Jiang Cheng can hear the underlining worry in his voice.

“I’m not,” Jiang Cheng rasps out, and his throat is not liking his attempts to speak, because a coughing fit wrecks him.

“You’re sick,” Lan Xichen says with understanding once Jiang Cheng caught his breath and Jiang Cheng doesn’t dare to speak again, so he carefully hums.

“Is it very bad?” Lan Xichen asks and Jiang Cheng opens his mouth, before his eyes fall onto the bottle of water next to his bed.

“Wait,” he gets out, and reaches for the bottle, taking big gulps and soothing his throat—however temporary—before he gets back on the line with Lan Xichen.

“Very,” Jiang Cheng agrees. “I feel like my head is going to explode.”

“You sound horrible,” Lan Xichen notes and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes—because duh—but even that turns out to be a bad idea, because it only intensifies his headache.

“I feel horrible,” he admits and Lan Xichen softly sighs at the other end of the line.

“Do you really not want me to come over? I could take care of you.”

“If you set foot in here, I’m going to sneeze on you and then you’ll be sick, too. And then who is going to take care of who?”

“Well, not you of me, because you’ll still be sick,” Lan Xichen teases, but then he gets serious again. “Promise me to at least call Wei Wuxian? Someone should check in on you.”

“You really don’t care about my brother, huh?” Jiang Cheng gets out before a new coughing fit hits him and Lan Xichen makes a concerned noise.

“I just don’t know him to get sick,” Lan Xichen corrects him. “I haven’t seen him sick in all the years he’s been with Wangji.”

“That’s because he gets sick exactly once a year, and conveniently always during the family retreat. I still maintain my position that he somehow does it on purpose.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Lan Xichen agrees and then sighs again. “Fine, I won’t come to visit you. But you’ll keep in touch when you’re awake, okay, or otherwise I’ll worry. And as soon as the worst has passed, I’m right there by your side.”

Jiang Cheng closes his eyes at that, unable to help the soft smile on his face, because he loves this man so damn much, it’s ridiculous sometimes.

“Of course,” he promises easily. “You can even call once a day to make sure I haven’t died.”

“At least once a day,” Lan Xichen corrects him. “But now go write Wei Wuxian and then go back to sleep, alright, my heart?”

“Mh, okay,” Jiang Cheng whispers, already more tired than he had been when he woke up, and it’s a struggle to keep his eyes open.

“Text your brother,” Lan Xichen reminds him again and Jiang Cheng gets to it right that moment, because he knows otherwise he’ll forget it and fall asleep.

I’m sick, don’t bother coming over, he types, even though he’s not very optimistic that Wei Wuxian will listen to him.

He’s almost a worse mother-hen than Jiang Yanli.

“Done,” Jiang Cheng mumbles, eyes already more closed than open and Lan Xichen chuckles softly.

“Good, my heart. I love you. Now sleep,” he instructs him.

Jiang Cheng has just enough awareness left to mumble “Love you, too,” before everything goes dark again.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng startles awake when the door to his bedroom is flung open with enough force that it bounces back from the wall.

“What the fuck,” Jiang Cheng gets out, his voice grating and not much more than a harsh whisper and it’s a real struggle to open his eyes fully, even though the adrenaline is coursing through his veins right now.

“Surprise,” Wei Wuxian’s obnoxiously bright voice yells out and it feels like he personally hammered a nail right between Jiang Cheng’s eyes.

“Fuck off,” Jiang Cheng groans and flops back into bed.

He really cannot deal with this right now.

“Won’t, can’t, shan’t,” Wei Wuxian brightly says and flings himself onto the bed.

“Go away,” Jiang Cheng begs as he tucks the blanket over his head, but Wei Wuxian doesn’t move.

“Still, won’t, can’t shan’t,” Wei Wuxian repeats and Jiang Cheng knows that he’s doomed.

If Wei Wuxian is in one of those moods, then it’s easier to make an elephant move. At least those can be lured away by food.

“What did I ever do to deserve this?” Jiang Cheng laments and peeks out from under the blanket, only to be hit by a blinding smile from Wei Wuxian.

“You’ll never know hoy you deserve to be this lucky in life,” Wei Wuxian solemnly says, but then he gets serious. “You really do look sick.”

“I am,” Jiang Cheng says, and as if to underline his point a cough wrecks his whole frame.

“You really are sick,” Wei Wuxian says again, as if Jiang Cheng would lie over text like that.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t deign to answer him and instead pitifully sneezes into his pillow.

“Gross,” Wei Wuxian mutters and then wrangles the pillow away from him.

“Hey,” Jiang Cheng protests, but Wei Wuxian isn’t deterred and simply takes the pillow away from him.

“It’s full of bacteria now, you’re not going to sleep on that anymore, I’ll get you a new one,” he rambles and dashes off to find a new one for Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng watches him run around in his room, a horrifying thought forming in his mind. He waits until Wei Wuxian comes back to the bed to shove the pillow at him, before he confirms it.

“You told A-jie,” Jiang Cheng says, and Wei Wuxian doesn’t even have to answer, the guilty look on his face tells Jiang Cheng all he needs to know.

“Why would you do that?” Jiang Cheng demands to know but Wei Wuxian only shrugs.

“You know how shijie is. If she finds out that you were sick and no one told her about it, she’s going to kill us both.”

“You didn’t even believe I was sick, why would you tell her?” Jiang Cheng incredulously asks but Wei Wuxian shakes his head.

“I didn’t tell her, though!” Wei Wuxian exclaims and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“Then who did?” he wants to know, but he can already guess what Wei Wuxian’s answer will be.

“Xichen-ge did,” Wei Wuxian says, and of course he did.

Of course.

“He’s such a worry-wat,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but secretly he is pleased that Lan Xichen wanted to make sure that someone is looking after Jiang Cheng. “He already forced me to tell you, he really shouldn’t have dragged A-jie into this.”

“Nah, don’t complain, you love that he worries like that,” Wei Wuxian tosses over his shoulder, as he leaves the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Jiang Cheng calls after him, completely ignoring how right Wei Wuxian is, and promptly starts to cough again.

“I come bearing gifts,” Wei Wuxian triumphantly says as he comes back into the room, burdened with two heavy looking bags.

“What is happening?” Jiang Cheng dumbly asks, because why the fuck is Wei Wuxian bringing him things.

“This one,” Wei Wuxian says and lifts the left bag, “is from shijie. It’s full of medicine and soup, so you get better quickly.”

“Of course it is,” Jiang Cheng mutters, but he holds out his hands to accept the bag.

Jiang Yanli really does worry too much about his health all the time, and it looks like she put all the medicine in her house into the bag. Jiang Cheng only has eyes for the containers of soup, though. The medicine can wait.

“Medicine first,” Wei Wuxian says just at that moment, as if he’s able to read Jiang Cheng’s mind and expertly steals the soup away from Jiang Cheng.

“Do not even think about eating that,” Jiang Cheng threatens him and Wei Wuxian looks at him with wide eyes.

“I won’t! Shi-jie will now and she will kill me. The soup is for you. But I am under very strict instructions to feed you medicine first, so open up!” Wei Wuxian cheerfully says and holds a pill to Jiang Cheng’s lips.

“I’m going to bite you,” Jiang Cheng threatens, but Wei Wuxian only takes that opportunity to drop the pill into his mouth.

Jiang Cheng swallows it on reflex, but he would prefer to spit it out at Wei Wuxian again.

“Okay, and now something for your stuffed nose,” Wei Wuxian says and holds out a spoon with some syrup on it.

Jiang Cheng eyes it suspiciously.

“I don’t think so,” he finally says and Wei Wuxian pouts at him.

“Do you want me to do the airplane thing?” he asks and Jiang Cheng glares so hard at him that his headache flares up again.

“I will sneeze on you,” Jiang Cheng warns him.

“Gross,” Wei Wuxian cheerfully says and then simply stuffs the spoon into Jiang Cheng’s mouth.

He almost chokes on it, but in the end he survives. He wishes he didn’t, though, with how foul it tastes.

“Better tell me what’s in the other bag,” Jiang Cheng says, once he’s sure he doesn’t have to throw up anymore and Wei Wuxian smiles at him.

“This,” he says and lifts the bag, momentarily forgetting about the medicine, “comes from your boyfriend.”

“Oh, really?” Jiang Cheng asks, curiosity piqued and he makes grabby hands at the bag. “What did he pack?”

“Fruits,” Wei Wuxian says with a shudder. “Lots and lots of fruits.”

Jiang Cheng smiles at that and looks into the bag when Wei Wuxian finally hands it over.

“He said he trusts that shi-jie had the medicine and soup part down and he’s adding the vitamin c you need to get healthy again,” Wei Wuxian explains and makes a gagging sound as if he and Lan Wangji aren’t just as sickeningly sweet to each other.

“And he packed all my favourites,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and blindly reaches into the bag and pulls out one of the fruits.

“Ew, wipe that love sick look off your face, I don’t want to see that,” Wei Wuxian gags, and Jiang Cheng sticks his tongue out at him.

“Go find your boyfriend and be disgusting with him then,” Jiang Cheng says and Wei Wuxian nods as if that is the best idea ever, and promptly leaves without a word of goodbye.

Jiang Cheng knows that he will be back in the evening to check if he ate the soup and to pester him with more medicine again, but for now he revels in the blessed silence.

Jiang Cheng bites into the fruit in his hand, his teeth sinking into the ripe flesh, and he hums when the flavour hits his tongue, thought he’s barely able to taste it with how sick he is.

He continues nibbling on the fruit as he reaches for his phone and calls Lan Xichen again.

“Did my package reach you?” is the first thing Lan Xichen asks and Jiang Cheng bites into the fruit again, trusting that the sound will carry over the phone.

“Ah, I see,” Lan Xichen says, and he must say it with a smile, because Jiang Cheng knows that particular voice.

It’s the voice he loves best, after all.

“I thought your sister had the rest covered, but I know you get a craving for fruits every now and then and I didn’t want to risk you not having any.”

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng whispers and quickly swallows the rest of the fruit, before he lays back down in bed.

“How are you feeling?” Lan Xichen asks, his voice low and gentle and Jiang Cheng’s eyes are already going heavy again.

“Better, now that I’m talking to you,” he mutters and Lan Xichen huffs out a laugh.

“You sap,” Lan Xichen accuses him, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind, because after that Lan Xichen stays on the phone and talks to him until he falls asleep.

And it’s a very sweet sleep for Jiang Cheng, with the voice of his light in his ears.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

Brothers with a Gardener Poly!MC

I kill everything I plant...but mc? Mc has a green thumb.

I wanted to write how the brothers react to this hobby. Why? My mom planted a ton of tomatoes and I harvested them all. It made me feel like a true Missouri farmer.

Lucifer

He's very glad you're around.

No, really, because the house needs someone who can wrangle weeds AND Mammon at the same time.

(^Mammon steps on everything. It drives the entire house crazy)

Doesn't mind if you decorate the house with plant clippings. Please clean up your mess though!

Preserves any flower you get super excited over. This is down with magic, of course. Luci cannot be bothered to actually use any other method.

Probably won't get down in the dirt with you. He will water the plants on occasion, but even that's a stretch!

Mammon

You know why they invented electric fences? To keep Mammon out of gardens.

It's like the opening scene in Heather's. He absolutely tramples plants when they're in his way.

Really likes to pick fruits and vegetables. Give him a bucket and he'll make sure that every little thing is picked clean.

If you give him a broom, he'll begrudgingly sweep off pathways and the patio.

Really likes to take leaves and jump in them, but he tends to tear up the garden with his rake.

Levi

He isn't a big fan of the outdoors. I think we can all agree on that.

But...maybe he'll tag along...

He won't do much of anything, but it's nice company.

Usually he'll use the time to just talk to you, whilst playing on some portable game system.

(^After all, he rarely gets time with you, but he has a reputation to keep up online. Time to add those two things together!)

However, he wouldn't get too upset if one of his brothers joined in the conversation. Unless it's Mammon, of course.

Might talk your ear off.

Basically just lounges whilst you work.

Satan

Isn't afraid to get down in the dirt.

Researches different compost options, fertilizers, ext. Hopefully his findings help the garden!

Probably loves to aggressively pull weeds. It's only a little bit helpful, seeing as sometimes he pulls too hard and leaves the roots in the ground.

Like Levi, he uses this time to bond with you. However, if another one of his siblings were to come out and join the conversation, he'd get pretty mad.

Can he not just spend time with you alone??

(No)

Asmodeus

The way to this demon's heart is flowers.

He loves all kinds, so you don't have to worry about a preference.

Asmo will mostly take pictures in front if them. If you allow him, he'll also take clippings to decorate his room.

Buys you cute little garden gloves in an array of designs. He'd get you a sun hat as well, but it's kinda useless.

He'll probably be the most enthusiastic.

Decorates the garden with string lights and cute little statues. Lucifer does not like this.

Might get annoyed by all the dirt though.

Beelzebub

Most hands-on.

His favorite activity is to pick ripened produce. However, he eats most of them. You'll need to remind him to grab a snack before and after he starts.

Tends to get drenched trying to set up sprinklers. It's all good though. He'll just give you wet hugs.

Always does the heavy lifting.

Which is one of the biggest reasons why he's a really great partner to have.

That and he's adorably optimistic.

Gets mad when Mammon tramples things. Please calm him down.

Belphegor

Usually comes out only when both you and Beel are working.

He'll just sleep on a bench the majority of the time.

It's not an ideal sleeping space, but you two are here, and that's all he needs.

If the sprinkler hits him, he won't move. Doesn't give a shit.

Loves to watch you work in your element. It makes his heart very warm.

Despite his love for the garden, he's toally the type of person to pick flowers. No matter what you tell him, he either doesn't care or doesn't remember.

He'll make you take breaks just to cuddle.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Love and Hate

Summary- 2.7k Mike Weiss x You. Another hotel, another fight, and another making up. Maybe you were just a much an addict as he was. It only seems okay, if you two are fighting with one another. Warnings- Drug Use and Fucking one another. Smut. Messed up and unhealthy relationship. Written for @donutloverxo​ @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ and @captain-a-rogerss​ 3rd week challenge- song fics. Choice I used was Eminem (cause I love the bastard) and Rhianna’s, Love The Way You Lie. 

A/N- I love the dysfunctional relationships, the ones that just are self destructive toxic messes. I doubt Mike could ever truly be in a healthy one, although maybe some day in fanfics. I can't claim to know accurately what certain drugs will do, so when reading this, its simply my interpretation. Don't expect the highs and lows to be accurate.   

“So he never had any intention of fixing those trucks, he sent them with broken pipes, claiming to now know they had busted pumps.” Mike snorted clearing his nasal passage, as the coke flooded his mind with an endorphin rush. It was almost as good as sex with you was for him. Almost. What was better? Was if you were here with him. He missed you, but you didn’t approve of this. This process helped him think. His name might come after - Danziger, but he could see the process almost as it was unfolding before him much clearer than his partner, especially when he was at his peak, right now. The only way to make it better,  if you were here. You baby was his ultimate weakness.

The people he wrangled into the room, the dealer neighbors, and crack whores he called to his hotel room, mainly hoping to score those couple grams, willingly share with them. All sitting there with there stick-it notes to there shirts, it finely clicked in there slightly slower minds. There oohs and aahs, the sick fuck statements that filled the room left him nodding in agreement. “Guilty… he’s guilty.” 

The fire chief is not the only one guilty, Mike, oh he burned you over and over, that was how you described it every late-night you came searching for him. I’m at friends, working with Paul, got a trial I’m working. That was how he described it. Just like how he described it tonight on the phone to you. And yet, when you pulled in, the upper room door wide open to see Mikes silhouette bent over the table, and then he reared back his head, bouncing like a boxer might, his nose scrunching up. 

You’re just gonna stand there and watch me burn. 

Mike never heard you slam the car door, or go up the steps, nor did he notice you standing in the doorway till one of the dealers said something. “You looking to join the party sweetheart?” 

Mike spun around to take you in, just as you did with him. You could see it, the way his body was thrumming from the drugs. The intense high that left him jittery, with tense muscles, his biceps straining, the veins in his neck standing at attention, and his face, he took in every bit of information, filing it away in case it was necessary for another time. How had he explained it to you? Oh yes, he was hyper fixated on all details, he was smarter, faster, stronger when he was high. 

It was the crash though that would leave him half dead, so many times you had found him on the verge, but never quite crashed. 

That was just a man playing a dangerous game. It was just a matter of time. 

“No, I’m fucking not looking to join.” You snarled as you entered the room, and Mike took a step forward, trying immediately to appease you. 

“Baby, It’s just for work.” 

“Shut it, Mike, all of you, get the hell out.” 

The girls, the ones you could only begin to guess what they were here for, started bitching immediately. “Hey, we don’t know who you are lady, but we brought the goods, and we’re not leaving till were paid.” 

Your voice might have got shrill when you grabbed your purse off your shoulder and Mike tried to stop you with “Baby, come on, stop, they don’t know any better.” You ripping your purse open and yanking out all the cash you had, your anger now uncontrolled. Throwing those bills at the girl’s faces. “There! Now your fucking paid!” Mike’s hands grasped your arms to prevent you from throwing anything else, the group behind you started to band together, getting mad. The tension in the air between you and the people behind him leaving Mike the barrier. The drugged high barrier protecting each other from one another. 

“Get out! Get out! GET OUT!” You’re now screaming, and Mike looks over his shoulder, his grasp on you so tight it would bruise your forearms. You don’t notice though. Not at this point, You rarely do. 

You like the way it hurts. 

“Get out guys, I got her.” Your rage turned towards Mike, the anger seething just at him now, He got you… Did he get you? 

“Yeah man, she’s killing the vibe.” One of the others said, and Mike pushed you into a corner of the room while your screaming at him, the people passing the two of you, and the door closing with a sharp slam. Leaving the two of you alone. 

“Y/N! Stop it! Fuck, calm down!” Mike yelled right back in your face and you wrench your arm from his hold, slapping him in the face. 

“Let me go.” 

Mikes eyes snap at you, slamming you back into the wall hard enough so your head bounces off the cheap hooker motel, the one you knew he was dipping into the savings to pay for, along with the lines of powder smearing across the nightstand on each side of the bed, and god knows what else was scattered around this room. 

Mike, god he tried to make you understand, it was the only way he could work, that he could keep the thoughts straight. He loved you, so much that it was painful in its own messed up way, one that he lived for. 

Right now it felt like a steel knife was being held to his windpipe, he couldn’t breathe. The way your anger edged on hate, hate, and love was such a fine line he danced on for you. 

Sometimes you were just such a fucking bitch to him, blaming him for all the wrong in your lives. Sometimes you brought him so fucking high, it was a drug all on its own. 

High on his life for you, but drunk on his hate at the same time. 

Mike twisted you onto the bed, dropping you down, and caged you in as he straddled your, biting kisses on your lips and pining your hands above your head, growling into your mouth. “Why you always give me a hard time Woman? It was nothing, Nothing.” 

“Then why you hiding here and not in our home?” His kisses just fueling the hate simmering in your chest, even though your body pressed into him for more. Pulling his head back enough to glare down at you, still, lines of white dust were streaked across his nose, and he bared his teeth at you. 

“Cause I know you hate me for this.” 

He wasn’t lying, you did. Fuck you loved him and hated him at the same time, and it was a constant war within’ yourself. You shake your head with conviction, no no no. He caught your jaw in a hand, fingers digging into your cheeks, probably leave bruises there to. 

“I love the way you lie.” 

Then in a flurry of tugging clothes, the quick demands Mike had on you matched his passion he had discussing his case earlier. He needed you, needed to feel you clenching around him as he debated that he deserved it. Taking whatever he wanted. 

You couldn’t keep up with Mike, your body just moved where his hands pulled you apart, shoving down of your pants gave him access to your cunt, long fingers making you weak underneath him, as well as him mouth, your wrists released enough to grab onto his suspenders, dragging him back to your mouth. 

Maybe you were inhibiting him, catching that coke and whiskey taste lacing his tongue, dirty and filthy, wherever he was through the day filling you to, and his grunts plunged into you just as much as his fingering you was doing. Pulling you apart, he was always pulling you apart and leaving you in pieces. He jerked you in place, hitting against the headboard, making you cuss at him. 

“Shut up Y/N, you’re fine,” Mike said through hissing words against your neck, and your fingers scratch at his back, and grab onto his belt, pulling it, working to the front to start unbuckling it while Mike is yanking on your shirt, knocking your hands loose to lose it over your head, falling back over you to keep you scattered, unable to walk that line you followed. The one where you loved and hated him. There was a rolling of both, you loved to hate him. 

There was venom in your words you spit at him, even now as he was making you thrust on his fingers, stroking your clenching walls, your arousal slicking you ready for him to break you into the mattress, jerking his fingers from you and bringing them to his mouth, pulling away from breasts he left scattered in bites and sucked on his fingers. 

“You always taste best this way.” He groaned and you ran your hands over your face, so fucking on edge from this evening events and him, that your body was still humming to be pushed over the edge. Mike worked his belt open, opening his pants with a yank and the force snapped a suspender lose, giving him enough room now to free himself from his confines. Throbbing and angry to fuck you. 

“Mike, just fuck me already, would you?!”  He slapped at your ass and grasping it, pulling you onto him and wrapping an arm around you to keep you where he needed you. Pounding into you, just as you predicted, this time he was unhinged. Still high, still wound. What started as pain soon was a pleasure and once more you were lost to Mike. 

“Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, right there.” You whined to him, scrambling to match his movements, but there was no way, you just let yourself get railed over and over till you were arching under him, fingers clutching at the hair at the back of his head. “Don’t you dare fucking stop Mike.” 

You two punished each other, push and pull at each other’s hair, scratch and claw at each other, bite at one another till teeth sink claiming into flesh. Screaming into his tense shoulder when he hit your sweet spot, over and over again, trying your best not to give him what he wanted. Cause that was all this was, his way of seeking that satisfying high once more, the one that the drugs couldn’t give him. 

Maybe this was your high? Fuck if you knew. 

Whatever it was destroying you. It destroyed you once more when you came for him. But damn it all to hell if it didn’t give you your own high, in this cheap hooker motel, clutching your destructive man to your body like he was the very air you breath while your eyes rolled back, and your jaw went slack, that look of triumph coming from Mike pissing you off in that second, but then he matched your expression, you both falling, falling into pleasured oblivion. 

Fuck you hated him and loved him, you thought as he smothered you, gasping into his neck as his arms circled around you, keeping you in against him. Mike knew he couldn’t loose you, you were probably the only thing keeping him alive still. Better then any upper and downer he could ever divulge in. Better then any bottle of alcohol he could consume. Better then any hooker he could fuck. 

You were it for him. All your loathing hate and passionate love were what kept him alive. As long as you come back for him, fought against him, loved him. Only you two could live so destructively together, tearing each other apart, and putting one another back together.

Light streamed through the heavy nicotine stained curtains as Mike’s phone screamed in the early morning, making him push off you where he passed out the night before and roll to the edge of the messed up bed. Running a hand through his hair, he dug into his pants pockets, half held up with a remaining suspender and yanked out his phone. 

“Shit, I’m due in court.” He started yanking clothes on, occasionally rubbing at his face in a distracted manner while you groan, and roll in the bed to see his back, head lowered against his hand to try and dispel the pain that came with the after-effects. Pulling up, you take the undone suspender and lope it over his shoulder which he grasped and reattached it to the front of his pants, and looked over his shoulder. 

“Yesterday is over Y/N, today is a different day.” Mike stated while moving to a stand, grabbing his brightly colored shirt and snapping it straight, dropping the straps from his shoulders to put the shirt on. “I will change, I promise. Last time.” 

You move to a stand to take over buttoning his shirt, his fingers shaking to much. Lack of coffee he would normally tell you. Today he didn’t even bother with that lie. So many were spewing from him already. Yours were steady, one at a time fitting them through the holds as you went up, till you reached the end and flipped his collar. 

“Whatever you say, Mike.” You glance around and pick up his tie, fitting that around his neck as well, and looping it around till it sat perfectly against his chest. He grabbed at the back of your neck and tilted your head to look up at him. “I fucking mean it this time Y/N. I’m sorry, okay.” How much truth did he have in those crystal blues? None, none at all. And that was okay. You were just as fucked up as he was cause his chaos kept you alive. Kept you coming back. 

“Okay Mike, I believe you. Go… You have court, and I will see you tonight at home.” Leaning up to place a kiss on his lips, your hands lifted to brush through his hair to fix it. “Go.” 

Grabbing the last of his things, and shoes, he was out the door, leaving you to gather whatever was left and abandon the night before behind. 

In the coming weeks, it seemed to change. His habits became bearable after withdrawals. The first time you experienced them, they scared the hell out of you. Now, now you were familiar with them. Hours to days, days to weeks, Mike woke up with you and went to sleep with you every night, he became an attentive gentle lover, and you two seemed happy. 

It was all wrong. Both of you pretending this way, a happy life. It wouldn’t last, it never did. He hated it, the way his eyes wouldn’t look at you anymore, but skating over you, your fake laugh over the dinner table at a joke he made, making him grind his teeth. Maybe just one last time? He loved you and hated you, he couldn’t ever leave you. But maybe it could be more bearable. Bring back your anger to feed off, feel something good again. He picked up his cell phone and made that call. 

“Yea, how much? That’s good, that’s fine. You be over in an hour? I will have your cash.” 

You wanted him better, healed, himself. But at this point, you didn’t know who was Mike really. You’ve always known him in all his other stages, and this one, he seemed so… fake. Even you were faking your way through the days to show him support. How wrong were you, to miss that destructive piece of shit that made you so mad you wanted to sink into nothingness. Which is what he was able to do for you too. Pulling up to your house, lost in your thoughts and feeling yourself suffocating as you went up the steps, and opening the door, there Mike was, and that pit in your stomach collapsed into the fire, trickling up your spine. Now, this… seeing him humming before you, his words running together to whomever the dealer was, his whole body rigid in excitement. 

This was the Mike you knew, had missed, loved, and hated all at once. Maybe you were just as self-destructive as him. But oh baby, were you ever ready to crash and burn with him. 

Mike swung around, and cursed, preparing for what was to come. 

How fucking much did he miss this? Since the last time. 

Both of you destroying each other in the worst of ways. 

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

But that's alright, because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

[lampmeeting]

Hey I’m working on a fic and I really like the way you write Toki so I wanted to know if you had any advice for capturing his voice

oh wow!! :O this is really flattering and SO sweet, thank you fish! yeah, lemme see if i can organize my thoughts in a way that makes sense (i apologize in advance if i don’t, which... yeah i probably won’t haha)

Let’s bust out the capital letters and write this properly though. All right, so here’s a collection of things I think about when writing Toki:

he can be hypervigilant at times due to his childhood trauma, looking out for other people’s emotions

he’s also optimistic to a stubborn degree and sometimes gets carried away with that without meaning to (I think the intense optimism is a protective measure he developed as a kid)

he feels very deeply but doesn’t always know how to express that, which can lead to frustration and second-guessing himself

he’s smart but due to spending most of his life either in an abusive household with no proper schooling or in a mansion with servants, he’s got some serious gaps in his knowledge and social skills, so he can seem weird/spacey/stupid at times

enjoys activities that make him feel “grown up” since he’s not used to being viewed as a capable adult (i tend to write him older, too, so it’s especially difficult for him being constantly treated like someone much younger than he is)

The thing about Toki, too, is that he still has these very innocent, childlike views and opinions. A kiss and a hug should make things better. Ignoring a problem might make it go away. When someone is mad, they must be mad at him. He can be very reactionary, unless he doesn’t feel completely safe, in which case he might feel everything the same way, but be much more subdued and observational, or if he feels VERY unsafe might even retreat into himself entirely to try and escape (I also think that when he feels safe with someone, that’s when his playfulness/brattiness can sometimes pop out, which is why he’s like that a lot with the boys because he feels comfy around them).

And then of course he IS prone to just wildly explosive episodes of anger. No one can keep up the :D 24/7 with without a good outlet for negative emotions. I like to think art and making models can sometimes help him zone out and deal, and of course we know he can abuse alcohol to cope with bad feelings, but when he doesn’t have any of those outlets readily available shit can sorta boil over. It’ll always seem to others like it came outta nowhere, but Toki was probably feeling it build for a while until he finally couldn’t take it.

I feel like I’m not doing a very good job of this haha... sorry. My thoughts are always really scattered and trying to wrangle is difficult. I also tend to put a pretty fair amount of myself and my own thought process into Toki because I’ve come to relate to him the older I get, so things tend to get a bit muddled.

Basically, to me, Toki is a sensitive, socially-stunted adult man who desperately wants to be perceived as someone capable and worthy of respect, but he also wants to cuddle his teddy bear and sing silly songs and fall in love and be a mushy, goofy motherfucker, and I think he’s always trying to figure out how to find that balance that allows him to have it both ways.

And as far as, like, his actual dialogue goes, I tend to keep him in shorter sentences just because they’re easier for him (and let’s face it, me) to deal with. A lot of his “dialogue” tends to be nonverbal, too (I think? or at least it is in my mind). Expressions, what his hands are doing, how he’s positioning himself, etc. I try to keep the plurals as minimal as I can while still staying true to his canon way of speaking. If I could get away with season 1 Toki, I would, but unfortunately by the time the later seasons and Doomstar happen, he’s talking more and more like Skwisgaar (and throwing in a random 3rd person just like Dr. Rockso does...). And then it’s always fun to try and have him use words he can’t really remember how to pronounce, or maybe he uses a similar-sounding word in place of what he means to say (”blowjob” instead of “nosebleed”).

Just for like...example purposes I guess, here’s my favorite lil’ bit of Toki dialogue I’ve ever written (from What You Need, near the beginning when he’s out with Magnus):

“Thanks for coming out with me, man.”

“I’ms the ones what should be thankings you.” Magnus gave him a curious look and Toki blushed and kept talking. “Well, um. Ams just nice to gets away from everyones for a while.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said slowly, rattling his ice. “How’s that all going?”

Toki didn’t want to think about it too hard. The alcohol was making it sting. “Nots great. Nathans and Pickle ams still hatings each other. And I can’ts works for Murderface anymore ‘cause of thems photos on the news.”

Magnus stifled a wheezing laugh behind his glass, cleared his throat. “I, uh. Saw that. Just terrible.”

Toki put his head down on the table and groaned. “Whats ams gonna happens to Toki, Magnus?”

(I love sticking in those little bits when he refers to himself in 3rd person, it’s so silly and cute.)

Anyway, I hope this helped in some way?? Sorry for writing you a novella here. If you have any follow-up questions I’d love to take a crack at ‘em! :D And thank you!!!

(PS - also I should mention that @sourbat writes an exquisite Toki that really inspires me and they’re phenomenal at explaining their thought process, so if you’d like another perspective you should totally hit them up)

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- THE LION AND THE SERPENT

Lily wished she had a whistle herself to get the boys attention sometimes, but finally she'd wrangled them all around one table which did nothing to cease their desire to talk about that room.

She even engaged in a few of their more reasonable questions, like speculation of what would happen if more than one person asked for different things of the room for something at the same time. Harry and his friends were all asking for a similar request, but would the room have two doors appear, combine the two requests as it did for the trio, or remain empty until one more solid thing was asked of. While no one had an actual answer for any of this, it was still fun to speculate. When the meal was over Lily happily nursed baby Harry and laid him down for a proper nap, and when she finally settled down to continue it took the boys a moment to realize she was reading without their even paying attention. It took James pleading with her to start over so they could all hear.

Harry felt as though he were carrying some kind of talisman inside his chest over the following two weeks.

"A worthy secret then," Sirius grinned for his old memories of feeling the same.

A secret that kept him smiling through Umbridge's useless lessons as he easily met her bulging eyes.

"A miracle I'm not sure I could share," Remus crinkled his nose.

The DA's magical ability only grew from their first meeting, Harry often reflecting on their progress while pretending to read the assigned text for his Defence class.

Lily was watching Harry preen with more pride than she'd yet seen, and it was for others accomplishments. She'd loved her son the moment he was born, and seeing him glow with pride at seeing others accomplishments after just a little bit of help from himself truly made her realize he may have found his own calling in this field.

  It became nearly impossible for their group to have a fixed schedule what with accompanying three separate Quidditch team practices and the paralleling weather, but this Harry supposed as a good thing. If anyone was watching them, it would be impossible to pin down a non existent schedule for their meetings.

"Indeed, unpredictability is always better," Sirius agreed enthusiastically.

Hermione even came up with a better method of communicating when these would occur by handing out fake Galleons at the end of their third meeting, causing Ron some excitement at first.

"Did he think she'd come into inheritance and was being generous, donating to a worthy cause?" James chuckled.

Lily shushed him and kept going curiously how a coin helped with this.

Hermione explained to the whole group about the numbers around the edge, normally just a serial number, but she'd designed them to all be exactly the same. When Harry changed his numbers, that would be the corresponding date of the next meeting, and the Protean charm she'd placed on them would make all of them change with his.

Lily finished with utter exasperation at herself for still being so impressed with Hermione. Doing a sixth year potion in her second year had been impressive enough, now Hermione was showing how advanced she was in Charms as well, was there any subject, anything she couldn't do without putting her mind to it?

The Marauders were just as impressed. They'd never thought they'd find anything more impressive than fifth years being able to pull off becoming animagus', but it was clear enough to them Hermione would have already been able to do this as well if she'd set her mind to it, and that meant far more to them than any grade she'd ever get.

Hermione was met with stunned silence from the DA, Terry Boot from Ravenclaw demanding how she could perform a Protean Charm, that was NEWT level magic, how come she wasn't in his house.

"We've all been wondering that since her first year," Remus rolled his eye.

"I suppose she asked the hat for Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw and got Gryffindor anyways?" Harry recalled a previous conversation about how the Marauders guessed people got put into houses.

"That would be our guess," Sirius agreed. "As far as I can tell, even after everything we've seen of her, she still seems to value intelligence over, well everything."

Harry said back in defense of his friend, "After the rules she's broken? The laws? I know Hermione puts much more value into our friendship than her grades ever could."

"That's not just a Gryffindor trait though, Ravenclaw's have strong bonds of friendship as well," Remus shrugged. "It's what the hat perceives as the way you'd learn best, and being brave enough to put up your opinion put her in with her lot."

James and Sirius exchanged an amused look but stopped arguing the point. Lily had kept her mouth shut because she'd never liked the idea of sorting at all. One particular Gryffindor coming to mind who most anyone would have called a Slytherin if they knew what he'd done, Lockhart was a blithering idiot, Zacharias Smith had already proven to be an arrogant little thing from the humble house, and her favorite teacher in school had been all the qualities Slytherin house prided itself on without turning into a Death Eater. She would never think of anyone as something just because of what house they were in.

Hermione agreed the Sorting Hat had seriously considered putting her into Ravenclaw,

"Why would she call me the Sorting Hat?" Sirius asked while ducking on instinct, though Remus only rolled his eyes that time.

but obviously she'd been put in Gryffindor instead. Then she kept focus, asking if everyone agreed on using the coins. There was no argument, and as they each took one and Harry examined his own, he told Hermione these reminded him of the Death Eater's marks, how Voldemort touched one and they all reacted.

"Maybe the Order should invest in something like this," James said as he thought it through. "These really can come in handy, so long as you don't lose them."

"Or accidentally sell them," Sirius chuckled.

"How do you know about meetings now?" Harry asked.

"Fawkes appears to us when we're alone with a note," Remus grinned. "How he always knows when to appear away from everyone I've only been able to guess at."

Hermione agreed she'd gotten the idea from that, but she'd seen this better than branding members.

"So much more deniability if you get caught with it," Lily said grimly.

Harry agreed he liked this better, only danger in these was a chance of spending them.

Ron said sullenly he wasn't worried about that, he didn't have another one to mix it up with.

They all winced hard for that line, wishing there was something they could say, knowing there wasn't.

DA meetings were put on hold two weeks before the first match as Angelina was demanding nightly practices. Tension between Gryffindor and Slytherin was always high, but was now turning into daily scuffles as well between the two houses. The teachers were trying to show they weren't taking sides, but Harry realized how much McGonagall cared about this game when she abstained from giving them homework in the week leading up to the match.

Sirius and James whooped with laughter at Harry's face as he got to partake in their old head of house's favor for her Quidditch team. Both of them were giddy with such excitement for finally getting another game they'd yet to complain about the fact they hadn't gotten this chapter.

When this announcement was met with stunned faces in class, she turned grim eyes to Harry and Ron and told them to use this extra time to train hard, she'd grown too accustomed to seeing the Cup in her office.

The other three joined in the laughter as well, all imagining how many times McGonagall had looked to that Cup and smirked.

Snape was no less obviously partisan;

"But that part's not unusual," James grumbled less harsh than normal because he was still grinning for his own head of house.

he had booked the Quidditch pitch for Slytherin practice so often that the Gryffindor's had difficulty getting on it to play.

"Wait, I thought you said the staff couldn't book the pitch for the team!" Harry yelped furiously.

"I, thought they couldn't," James's euphoria was instantly wiped clean in frustration. "At least, they used to not be able to, I can't imagine why Madam Hooch is letting him."

"I wouldn't even be that surprised if he was doing it around her noticing," Sirius grumbled in disgust.

He was also the worst in pretending no such fights ever took place, such as when Alicia Spinnet got put in the hospital wing because her hair was growing so thick and fast it was obscuring her eyes and mouth. Snape refused to punish the Slytherin who'd done it, despite the fourteen witnesses saying Bletchley had. He instead insisted the girl must have put a hair-thickening charm on herself and messed up.

Harry scowled in agitation that McGonagall hadn't been able to do anything either because the complaint had been set to Snape, though he didn't know why Alicia had done such a thing.

Lily saw red for a moment, hating this vile creature who continued to act like the very thing he'd hated as a child.

Harry still felt optimistic about their chances, as he'd never lost to Malfoy. Ron still wasn't up to Wood's old standards, but he performed very well when not under pressure. The problem turning out to be when he blundered once, he was far more likely to continue doing so.

"That is a really, really bad start," James muttered, bouncing in place as he tried to work on some advice in his head he'd offer Ron for that.

When he was on point though, Ron had shown off some spectacular saves, such as one memorable practice where he'd swung free from his broom and kicked the Quaffle so far away it went into the other team's hoop instead.

"Wow, sounds like Ron pulled off a Starfish and Stick," Sirius grinned for the talent.

The whole team had praised this, comparing it to the Irish International Keeper who'd performed this move. Fred and George had been so proud, they'd even seriously considered admitting Ron was related to them,

"I would never deny my relation to the Weasley's, it's one I'm actually proud of," Sirius grinned.

something they assured him they had been trying to deny for four years.

Lily tisked while the boys chuckled at the jab.

The closer the game approached though, the worse Ron continued to get. As Harry had been on the team for years now, he was well used to the buildup and resulting snide comments in the corridors, such as Pansy's whispered threat that Warrington was promising to knock Potter clear from his broom. Harry responded by laughing that Warrington's aim was so bad, he'd be more worried for the person next to him.

Harry grinned as it caused those around him to laugh as well, nothing pleased him more than watching them laugh, at least when he was in on the joke.

Ron however had yet to respond in kind, instead turning green at every insult, or else shaking so bad he'd likely drop whatever he was holding.

"And here I thought Ron always wanted attention," Remus sighed.

"Clearly not this kind," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well then this is a good lesson for him to learn, you don't just get one kind of attention," James said a little sourly.

The morning of the match dawned bright and cold.

James and Sirius groaned in unison they'd missed out on a Quidditch chapter, but both kept their mouths silent from complaint, for now.

Harry awoke to find Ron in bed, knees pressed to his chest, his eyes gazing at nothing. Harry insisted he'd loosen up as soon as he ate some breakfast.

"Food does seem to make him feel better usually," Remus agreed.

The Great Hall seemed noisier than usual with so many talking excitedly about one thing. As they passed the Slytherin table, they all jeered as usual, but many of them waved at Ron while pointing at tiny little silver crown badges they were wearing and then laughing.

"More scare tactics," James scoffed.

Harry could tell there was something written on the badges, but was walking too fast to get Ron away from them to read what.

"Maybe Umbridge approved some new club," Lily said without much care, though she'd already rather hear about that than spend another chapter on a game where her son was likely to be injured, so she supposed she should enjoy the boredom while it lasted.

They received a much more welcoming arrival by fellow Gryffindor's, but if possible Ron found the cheer more depressing as he sank into his seat as if it were his last meal.

"And all he's going to get is cereal, what a disappointment," Sirius chuckled.

Whispering hoarsely to Harry he'd been mental to think he could do this.

"He's being too hard on himself, the first game is always the hardest," James said with honest sympathy this time.

Harry said he'd be great, it was normal to be nervous, and reminded him of his brilliant save even Fred and George had admired.

"The highest praise that can be offered," Sirius grinned.

Ron turned miserable eyes on his best mate as he admitted that had been an accident, he'd almost fallen off and hadn't even realized the Quaffle had been coming towards him.

Remus couldn't help snorting in surprise even while the other three boys huffed in disappointment, James and Sirius at least thinking they never would have admitted that and instead Ron should have learned how he'd done that and practiced more.

Harry had to scramble a moment to recover from shock before saying a few more accidents like that and the game was made.

Remus and Lily started giggling this time while the old players chose to ignore them.

Ginny and Hermione arrived as Harry finished his own bowl of cereal, Ron watching the dregs as if seriously considering drowning himself in them.

"I've never considered drowning myself in milk," Sirius said with his head cocked to the side, this time ignoring altogether as Remus smacked him upside the head as he continued, "but that one's original at least."

They asked how he was doing, and when he didn't answer, Harry assured he was just nervous. Hermione said that was normal, she was always anxious before exams.

"Because bringing up homework right now is really the way to make him feel better," James scoffed.

They were called from behind, and turned to see Luna smiling at them with a peculiar item on her head, a life size lion's head hat.

Lily paused for a moment to take that one in while Sirius immediately clapped his hand to his forehead and cried, "how could I never have thought of that?!"

"Because you were on the team with me," James was grinning even as he rolled his eyes at Sirius, "why would you ever think to make something like that?"

"Because it's brilliant!" Sirius' grin kept stretching wider by the second the more he thought about this, before swatting Remus on the arm and demanding, "Moony, why didn't you ever think of this?!"

"I apologize," Remus said, and Harry couldn't tell how much sarcasm was in that.

She gestured to the hat as if they'd missed it while informing them she was supporting Gryffindor for this match.

"You think she has one for Ravenclaw?" James chuckled.

"I think Harry would have noticed before now if he'd ever played against Ravenclaw and a student was wearing an eagle on their head," Lily smiled.

She'd even magicked it to roar like a lion, demonstrating as much when she tapped her wand against it and the whole hall jumped from the noise.*

Sirius gave an exaggerated yawn at the idea as he watched Lily's cat lick itself, he'd never been afraid of a cat in his life. The lion head had been a cool idea to support his team, but the sound effect would have just made him laugh.

Luna asked if they liked it.

"Yes," Remus agreed at once. "I'm curious what she made it out of."

"I'm sorry I didn't ask," Harry said honestly.

Then continued on saying she'd wanted to recreate a serpent tail being eaten to represent Slytherin, but she hadn't the time.

"Now there's an excellent use of crafts!" James beamed, "I think I finally see why some kids wanted an art class."

"Well when Harry beats Slytherin and they have a slight chance at a rematch, Luna can put it on in the meantime," Sirius chuckled, both boys missing the pained look Harry got for imagining himself in the next game...

Then she gave Ron a good luck wave as she walked off.

The three Chasers came over to collect the boys, but Harry assured they'd be down soon, he still wanted Ron to have some breakfast.

"Remember your first match and how you were too nervous to eat," Lily reminded him, "I don't think it's going to work dear."

"Well we finally found the way to make Ron not want food," Remus muttered to Sirius.

After ten more minutes though, it was clear Ron wasn't having it, so Harry moved to get him out of the Great Hall. Hermione gave him a hurried whisper before he left not to let Ron see those Slytherin badges.

"Why?" All five muttered to themselves, trying to figure out what that had to do with anything.

Then she wished both boys good luck, before standing on tiptoe and giving Ron a kiss on the cheek. Ron now looked more bewildered than ever as he touched the place as they left the Great Hall.

"Oh, so she didn't kiss you on the cheek as well?" Sirius switched to snickering about this now.

"Here's hoping that puts Ron in a better mood," Remus said cheerfully.

"Or it might just distract him," James scolded much to his friends amusement, now remembering how he'd reacted when Lily kissed him before his last game.

He was now so distracted Harry had the chance to read a badge as he passed the table even while getting Ron outside quickly as possible, and saw the tiny words Weasley is our King.

"I'm confused," Sirius said slowly, knowing he was supposed to be angry but not sure at what yet.

Lily however kept reading while beaming, and it took the boys a minute to guess what she thought those were. Lily was probably hoping some of the Slytherin's were finally starting to show some equal support for both houses, and none of them were going to be the one to burst her bubble, though they were all thinking if it was anything like that Hermione wouldn't have told Harry not to let Ron see them. Lily was probably just discounting what Hermione thought they were though like she was to them.

Harry at once knew they weren't anything good as he led Ron outside. The frost covered grass crunched under their feet, the weak sun above making all visible without being cumbersome, and there was no wind.

"Sounds like perfect conditions," James said wistfully, he really was looking forward to a game soon that he could play in again.

Even when Harry pointed all these things out, Ron still seemed more distracted than anything, and this kept up even as they went into the locker rooms to change and Ron tried to put his uniform on backwards for several minutes before Alicia took pity on him.

"I don't see why they couldn't have been left like that," Remus couldn't help but poke fun just as he always did to his friends when they needed it whether Ron was here or not.

The crowd outside was already thundering into the stadiums as Angelina began telling them she'd only just gotten the final line-up for the Slytherin team.

"Typical of any team to hand that over last minute," James rolled his eyes.

Last year's Beaters had graduated, but the two new guys didn't look much different than the old gorillas, named Crabbe and Goyle.

"Wow, wondering if Malfoy got them the latest Nimbus models again to let his friends on the team," Sirius scoffed.

Harry said he knew them well enough, and they were of the same mold as the old dunces.

Angelina nodded, and then called them all to line up to head outside, wishing them all one last good luck.

"It sounds like they're going to need it," Remus couldn't help mutter.

A roar of noise greeted them from the cheering and booing of both sides, also what sounded oddly like singing.

James was starting to get a nervous feeling about that song the more it was mentioned, if it had anything to do with the Slytherin's he just couldn't hold out hope it would be a good thing.

The Slytherin's were lined up and waiting, Malfoy at once catching sight of Ron and tapping his badge while smirking.

Lily sighed deeply, any hope for her idea gone already if Malfoy was wearing one. Now she read on grimly, somehow looking forward to getting through this less every line.

Hooch instructed both captains to shake hands, and if Montague's tense frame was any indication, he was trying to crush Angelina's fingers, who never winced.

"Tough girl, it's not hard to see why Fred likes her," Sirius grinned. "Hey Harry, did her and Fred keep together after the Yule Ball?"

"I never asked them," Harry shrugged, "but I had seen George hanging around with Lee once or twice without Fred around, so maybe."

The fourteen players mounted their brooms, and the game began. Harry and Malfoy at once streaking to opposite ends of the field to find the lone gold snitch.

"Is he not going to try following you around with lame insults anymore?" James chuckled.

Commentation at once began with Johnson with the Quaffle,

"Honestly Lily, how can you read that sounding so bored," Sirius groaned as she read out for the commentator as if reading the morning paper.

Lily simply shrugged, but Remus suddenly wished Sirius hadn't said anything, as Lily continued if possible in an even more flat voice, much to both his friends annoyance.

he'd been saying for years how good she was and she should go out with him-

"Maybe I was wrong about Angelina and Fred though," Harry said good naturedly.

"Or the friends messing with one of the twins," Sirius brushed off, still glaring at Lily more every second as she tried to make her voice as monotone as possible.

but McGonagall finally cut in on Jordan and told him to focus. Lee agreed at once and went back to more details on the game, the Quaffle passing between Montague, then hit with a Bludger by a Weasley twin, then to Katie, Alicia and she was off for the Slytherin post-

"Alright, that's it," James made a lunge for the book, which Lily neatly dodged and kept the book close to her chest, now full blown grinning at her husband.

"What, I'm not allowed to have a bit of fun?"

"This is the opposite of fun woman!" Sirius groaned. "I've never heard someone be so dull about a sport in my life."

Lily's giggling increased while James kept muttering at her side and eyeing the book with longing, he'd clearly  been out of practice to long, but when she kept going it was clearly getting harder by the moment to hold a blank face as her own amusement kept rising.

Harry was listening intently to Lee's commentary as he continued his own search, only hearing about Alicia avoiding a Bludger and Warrington, but pausing in confusion when he heard singing.

While Harry had been enjoying the show, both his mum messing with the two and his old Quidditch memories, he could already feel a stirring of unease for whatever was fixing to come. Lily clearly felt it as well as she couldn't quite keep up a bored tone anymore, wondering at who could be singing during the game.

Lee paused so that the lyrics could ring out, insert Slytherin version of Weasley is our King.

Lily had blanched in shock upon the first line, but she'd managed to stutter the whole thing out in the thick, heavy silence before coming to a screeching halt when she'd finally run out of insults.

"I-that is the lowest-" Remus looked too disgusted for words at what they were doing to Ron.

"Wow, I have seen a lot of backhanded things to mess with a player, but never a song dedicated to them," James's face was scrunched up with derision even as a very tiny part of him vaguely admired the dedication that went into something so elaborate.

"Really makes you wonder what Malfoy does with the rest of his free time, sings ballads to Hermione's parents, or poems to Harry's fame." Sirius snapped, his face twisted with dislike as he knew he'd have cursed Malfoy out of the air if he'd been there.

There was no longer any fun in Lily continuing with much less enthusiasm than anyone else, they all would have felt the same forcing themselves to read this bit no matter their love of the sport.

The moment Lee had realized what was being sung he'd tried to launch back into even louder and more detailed comments, but Alicia had passed to Angelina, who'd missed, making the ball Slytherin's as the song erupted again louder than ever.

James was practically vibrating in place, wanting to snap on a burst of speed and deck Malfoy where he flew, wanting to say something that would make Ron put that stupid song out of his head, but both were lost to him.

Warrington was heading back up the pitch with the Quaffle, finally putting a test to the new Keeper blood Ron Weasley, brother to Beaters Fred and George.

"The twins friend is doing a terrible job of helping them deny relation," Remus randomly muttered as anything else to think about, fighting back the impulse to press his hands to his ears in worry for this to come.

Even as Lee cheered on Ron, his wild dive saved nothing, it was ten zero to Slytherin.

All five of them cursed in sync for this misfortune, Lily denying doing any such thing by reading on loudly so as not to let the boys miserate for too long.

The singing burst through even louder, more people seeming to join in with every rendition.

"That can not be allowed!" Harry finally burst with frustration. "Can you put a whole house in detention! McGonagall, or someone shouldn't be letting them say that about him!"

The others remained completely silent with frustration, no one wanted to be the one to tell Harry what he already knew, there was nothing that could be done, it would be impossible to halt the whole game and kick those singing out of the stands.

Gryffindor continued the game with the ball in hand, as Harry continued more desperately now for the search of the Snitch, the chorus still thundering through the stadium.

Lily was forcing herself to keep reading this in a flat rage now, what she wouldn't give to put silencing charms on the lot of them for ever turning someone's life into such a cruel joke of a song.

The pattern continued as the ball continued passing hands, even out of the immediate action the song still being belted in the background.

Remus was twitching with unease in the tense room, wishing he could go back to laughing along with his friends about something as fun as a Quidditch game, why couldn't they ever go one of these without something terrible happening every time.

Harry refused to watch the actual action as he passed by the Slytherin Keeper, who was singing along with the lyrics.

"I'm going to imagine for a moment they skipped on some practices to all memorize this rubbish," James hissed under his breath.

Soon enough though, Ron was once again at bat, and the groan from his side of the crowd below was all Harry needed as answer. Still, twenty-nil was nothing, a few goals and they'd be back on even.

Sirius gave Harry an absent pat on the shoulder, absolutely agreeing with him this could all turn around any moment. The score wouldn't even feel as bad as it did if that wretched song would quit being passed around, but though Lily looked like she was considering skipping any more lines of it, that wasn't making it vanish.

After two more goals got through though, Harry really felt the beginnings of panic. He needed to finish the game quickly, and then no one would remember the rest of this mess. Angelina gave the Gryffindor's below something to cheer on soon, making the score forty-ten to Slytherin. Harry was ducking a Bludger sent his way

"Hooch didn't call that?" James snapped. "Could have used that penalty, Harry wasn't showing any signs of having seen the Snitch!"

"That's such an arguable call hardly anyone goes for it," Remus disagreed, James opening his mouth to argue the point but Lily ignored them both.

and keeping an eye on Malfoy as the game continued around them with those lines still being shouted.

Finally Harry saw the Snitch at the bottom of the Slytherin's goal posts, he dived, and in seconds Malfoy was on his tail, the two neck in neck,

Had Lily's joke at the start of this game not been interrupted she still wouldn't have had it in her to mime carelessness now, even with that horrid song echoing in the back of her mind she was edging in her seat with excitement.

It was over in one breathless swipe, Harry's fingers encasing the struggling, minute ball as Malfoy's fingers scrabbled at the back of his hand, and Harry stopped short to wave to the roaring approval of the Gryffindor crowd.

"YES!"

The echoing cheer of excitement could have woken neighbors. This was exactly what they needed to shove in those stupid Slytherin faces just how useless they were, how some hateful song wouldn't be enough to stop such a magnificent team!

Harry glowed for a moment in their praise, but the smile never quite reached his eyes as he watched them bounce with excitement for him. He wasn't sure he wanted to understand this feeling of dread, of something heavy just waiting to pounce on him for this win. Was it to do with Ron? Surely no one was really going to hold that against him, it was his first game after all...

WHAM.

Harry felt a Bludger punch the small of his back, flinging him off his broom.

Lily jerked in surprise as she read that, whatever victory she'd been holding before in that small moment blown away as effectively as a cannonball. The game was over, and Lily was hoping Ron got his revenge by clocking whichever Beater that was for pulling that stunt.

Harry was still only five feet off the ground, so the tumble forward merely winded him. Hooch at once flew up to begin shouting at the Slytherin Beater while Angelina landed near him, asking if he was alright.

Harry said of course he was while getting to his feet.**

"Oh yes, just a solid metal ball slamming into your spine, walk it off," Lily grumbled under her breath as she eyed her child, then turned sharp eyes on her husband who looked no more pleased but certainly not worried about injury.

Angelina explained it was Crabbe who'd done it. Then she began cheering they'd won!

A derisive snort from behind showed that Malfoy had not landed far away, now furiously telling Harry it was a miracle he'd saved Weasley's neck, but of course he'd be rubbish, he was born in a bin, then asked Harry if he liked the lyrics, he'd done them himself.

"He's wasting his talents as a slimeball," Sirius snarled, "he needs to pass on already and become a poltergeist."

"So long as he doesn't haunt Hogwarts," James agreed.

Harry refused to answer, turning away as the rest of the team landed around him except Ron, who landed over by his goals and was walking towards the changing room alone.

"I hope you go after him Harry," Lily couldn't help but urge, "you're only giving Malfoy what he wants by hanging back and listening to him."

Harry didn't answer, his face growing tighter by the minute as that feeling of anger continued to pound through him.

Malfoy kept going, pretending he had an audience as he explained he'd wanted to add some more in about being fat and ugly, for the Weasley's mother of course,

Harry's eyes flashed, he tensed and would have shot a curse at nothing if Sirius hadn't laid a restraining hand on his shoulder and whispered a calm reminder there was nothing for it now. It didn't make anyone feel any better, even though some of them held a dislike for Molly now they could never condone saying such a thing about her.

as well as loser for his father.

Lily was trying to read this quickly, so as to get the feel of sandpaper off her tongue from pure frustration. It never angered her any less when Malfoy continued using the same insults.

Fred and George tensed as they watched Malfoy with disgust, but even as Malfoy began backing away he was still talking about why this wouldn't bother Potter of course, the stank of the blood-traitors house must be similar to the Muggles who'd dragged him up.

No one ever appreciated any reminder of the Dursley's, but putting them in any kind of comparison which was the safe house of the Burrow like that truly was the most insulting thing they'd yet heard.

Harry grabbed hold of George to stop him doing anything, while the three Chasers were doing the same to Fred.

"I don't know why they're bothering," Sirius articulated through gritted teeth, "Malfoy's gone past where a detention would be worth it."

Malfoy clearly didn't care as he kept going, saying Potter must remember the stench from his own mother's house, she'd been even worse off being a-

James moved so fast Lily didn't realize the book had been wrenched away until she was staring at her empty hands, a slight burn in her palms from how tight she'd been holding the cover the only imprint of it. Maybe he'd just been going easy on her before then.

 She turned to snap at him, but he was too busy jabbing his wand at the offending page. "James!" She protested, trying to push her hand in the way to stop him before he did permanent damage.

"I am sick of that little scumbag insulting everyone, especially you," he said in a scary calm voice.

"Well doing whatever you're trying to do to that won't fix anything," she snapped as she pulled it back to her.

He gave in with a hateful scowl still in place, and Lily turned back to see the spell he'd managed to put in place, where Malfoy's name had been replaced with, well a colorful swear word Lily wasn't going to be saying. She fixed it and then kept going while James grumbled that hadn't been nearly enough payback.

Harry had no memory of releasing George, the two running side by side on their path to Malfoy, nor the shouts from his fellow teammates telling them to stop. All he knew was the fist drawn back, punching at Malfoy as hard as he could.

Lily stopped for a moment to look at her son, nibbling softly on her lip, but not a word could she find to speak against this. She couldn't claim to be much better if someone had been speaking of her mother.

The two only stopped when they fall off after the shout of the Impedimenta curse.

"I don't see why that was a reason to stop," Remus said quietly, "now's the time to go for the wand when the Muggle way stops working."

Sirius nodded in absolute agreement, his hand had long since been on his wand, just aching for something to curse.

Madam Hooch was in a towering temper above them, her wand out meaning she'd performed the jinx. Malfoy was still curled up in the grass, whimpering and nose bleeding.

"Clearly you didn't bash it into his skull, so I don't know what he's crying about," James snarled.

Hooch demanded the two go to McGonagall's office at once. They stormed off, Fred still being pinned beneath the Chasers and immune to anything else around them. It was only when they got to the office door did Harry start to feel something, and he glanced at his hand in surprise to see the one he'd been punching Malfoy with had still been holding the Snitch.

James struggled for a moment, but the compulsion to share his life with his son won out after his anger as he burst into speech, "I convinced our Seeker, Shilling, to keep the Snitch after every match and she passed it along to me. One of my favorite past times when I was bored was to pull it out and keep my reflexes up. Even I never thought of that though!"

"One of your very many annoying habits," Lily sniffed, her old angry bleeding tone giving James even more flashbacks. "You looked like such a show off."

"I was showing off," James agreed without remorse.

Harry couldn't marshal up much of a smile for the two, there was something about this day that promised to get even worse for him, and he had a feeling it wasn't about detention. There was also something else, a smaller memory that didn't align with this day, but promised he somehow had a first hand account of knowing those things his parents had just said, but that was ridiculous of course, how could he have known that?

They only stood there for a second when McGonagall came marching into view wearing a red and gold scarf, which she at once tore off as she pointed into the room looking livid.

"Damn, and I always loved it when she showed our house colors," Sirius winced.

"We're past flattery to make this better Padfoot," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Never stopped me from trying," Sirius shrugged.

She threw the scarf to the ground as she rounded the desk and on them.

"Now that was just uncalled for violence," James grumbled.

She demanded an explanation, and Harry quickly said they'd been provoked, which McGonagall did not find excusable as she pounded her fist on the desk, knocking over her tray of Ginger Newts.

"I think she needs to have one of her own biscuits and breathe for a moment," Lily said grimly, knowing Harry would get a chance to explain, but also knowing as well as anyone it wouldn't get him out of trouble no matter how much Malfoy had deserved it.

She snapped of course he had, he'd just lost, but nothing he could have said should have justified the two-

George cut in to say the insults, but McGonagall still said they should have gone to Hooch instead of displaying Muggle dueling.

"A very educational performance with splendid end results, really they should be getting thanks at least from Burbag," Sirius said flatly.

"There's that extra week we always got," Remus muttered.

Nothing further could be said before a hem, hem, entered the room.

"No!" Lily groaned as she gazed at that stupid little noise. "No, no, no-"

"Oh Lily, please tell me you're doing a terrible impression of a joke," James groaned into his fingers, he couldn't even look to her face for confirmation.

"What on earth is that roadkill doing there!" Sirius all but exploded. "She's nothing to do with any of this!"

Harry's horrible impression was growing more sickly by the moment. Somehow, this was all about to get terribly worse.

Harry and George turned in surprise to see Umbridge in the doorway wearing a green cloak, only further enhancing her resemblance to a toad as her pudgy eyes gleamed with a sickly ominous way Harry had come to associate with imminent misery.

"A face only my mother would love," Sirius groaned, digging his heels into his eyes so that he wouldn't have to keep watching Lily's face turn red from frustration of having to read about this woman in the same vicinity as her son again.

Umbridge offered McGonagall help in a poisonously sweet voice.

"You can help yourself off the astronomy tower," Remus snapped.

McGonagall actually grew more furious in the face of this, asking what help.

Umbridge insisted she'd thought McGonagall would be grateful for a little extra authority.

"I'd be more grateful if you dove headfirst into the black lake, meet the local population," Sirius promised.

Harry would not have been surprised to see sparks fly from Professor McGonagall's nostrils.

"Ah the twisted irony, Umbridge is actually doing more good than harm arriving then, because now McGonagall might go slightly easier on you in front of her," Lily sighed.

McGonagall snapped she'd thought wrong, trying to turn back to the two boys and giving them a week of detentions, but Umbridge would not be so easily deterred as she again made the hem, hem noise.

McGonagall closed her eyes as if praying for patience before slowly looking back to Umbridge.

"Merlin himself couldn't have offered any support for this except some toad-be-gone," James snipped.

Umbridge insisted she thought they deserved more than a detention for this display.

Harry was starting to twitch uncontrollably in his seat with unease, fighting the urge to either bury himself under the couch from a reaction he could sense coming, or tear the cushions in half from his own mounting anger. It helped nothing his family might just join in with McGonagall breathing fire soon, they all knew what Umbridge meant about her 'detentions.'

McGonagall's eyes flashed with outrage as she snapped that as these two were in her house, it was only her decision that mattered.

Umbridge oh so politely corrected that her decision did matter more while reaching for something.

"No..." Remus trailed off, too appalled to manage anything else in fear of where this was headed.

She pulled out something Cornelius had sent her, before correcting herself the Minister of course,

Lily only absently noted the lack and then use of the title as Umbridge's own self-importance in thinking she could be so informal, she was far more keyed into the new level of horror of where this could be going.

and unfurled a paper declaring it as Educational Decree Number Twenty-five-

though McGonagall interrupted in exasperation not another one!

"My sentiments exactly," James snarled.

Umbridge looked to her in surprise, saying McGonagall had given her the inspiration for this one as she'd overstepped and had Dumbledore intervene about putting the Gryffindor team back in play. Umbridge couldn't have that.

"No good deed goes unpunished," Remus said faintly, his two friends going bone white as they suddenly feared why this was being brought up again. Surely, no it wasn't possible, Umbridge couldn't have found a way to force the team to disband again, could she?!

Umbridge had contacted the Minister after this of course, the High Inquisitor couldn't be superseded like that or she'd have no more power than a common teacher.

"You shouldn't have any more authority than a sack of dung!" Lily screeched. She didn't want to keep going, was almost tempted to hand the book back over to James just so she wouldn't have to be the one to find out what this monster was going to do to her son next.

Then she went back to reading the amendment, that the High Inquisitor would henceforth have supreme authority over all punishments in school.

Lily had found it hard to believe the audacity of those first few amendments, and they somehow got worse every single time. This woman was creating these as she went along, and no one was stopping her!

She folded it back and put it away, before turning to the two boys and decided a life long ban on Quidditch for these two seemed sufficient enough punishment.

Harry's mind went blank. He heard shouting, he saw something get tossed across the room, but it was impossible to understand details as he struggled to wrap his mind around what he'd just heard.

Lily watched as the book thunked onto the mantel above the fireplace without regret, her fingers still twitching to throw something much bigger. She wasn't even a fan of her son being on the team and that was too far! She only held herself back from saying this by watching her husband work himself into a rampage with the only background thought being she should find a way to record this moment, otherwise there would be no record of Umbridge left when James was threw with her.

"-youngest Seeker in a century, she can't do that to him!"

Then again, what did they need a record of her for except an example of a transfiguration spell gone terribly wrong.

Sirius was too busy running scenarios in his head about something far too violent to be put into words, he needed action to get this one out of his system. Remus couldn't get his mind to act much better, as affronted as his friends and more than willing to enact whatever revenge they came up with.

Lily watched the lot of them try to find some way to work off their temper without destroying the house in vain, she really couldn't see a way to call their attention back even if she'd wanted to. So it was to her surprise when James finally found something resembling his normal voice and forced himself not to shout at his wife, "Lily would you keep going please. I'd like to get to the end of this book and find out how she's leaving this school." Then he trailed off into more hateful mutters about how that wasn't going to happen fast enough, and he couldn't believe his son was missing this sport for a whole year until that walking wart left.

"If it isn't Remus tearing her head off to replace her than it's not going to be as satisfactory," Sirius said grimly.

Lily silently agreed as she summoned the book back and pressed on for more horror.

Harry went numb in shock as he gazed at Umbridge telling herself this was for the best, terrible tempers the both of them, and for good measure Fred Weasley should be taken off as well as surely he'd have joined in the malay if he hadn't been restrained. She also wanted their brooms in her office, to make sure her ban was being enforced.

"She's gone from crossing the line into a whole new abyss!" Sirius howled in frustration. "She's, that's not, there's no-"

"She can't do that," Lily said in opposition. Quietly, a dangerous predator about to strike. "That's his private property, it's not against school rules to have."

"Well don't tell her that, or she'll ban brooms from the school next," Remus threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

Then she addressed McGonagall that she was not being unreasonable,

"You are something that I have only called one person, and you deserve the term far more than them," Remus growled.

she would allow the other members to continue playing, while McGonagall gazed at her as if carved from ice.

"I need McGonagall to understand that her life purpose now needs to be revenge for this," James pleaded with the universe. "Someone in that castle must understand this!"

"I'm worried there will be someone who does," Remus suddenly said with a touch of worry, looking to a still fuming Sirius. If he heard about Umbridge doing this, he may come up to the school and give her what he'd promised Harry Prongs and Padfoot would do in their own time.

With a look of satisfaction, Umbridge left the horrified room with silence in her wake.

Angelina was beside herself with anger when she heard there were no more Beaters or a Seeker on her team. Harry looked around the rest of the morose common room, it was as if they hadn't won at all.

"This woman is the physical embodiment of a mood killer," Lily groaned.

"I honestly believe she's a demon sent from hell at this point," Remus agreed.

Angelina was the only one with energy, shouting about the injustice of this. Fred didn't even deserve it, he hadn't done anything!

Fred snapped back in anger that was only because he was being held back from punching that scumbag to a pulp.

"Hey, the twins," Sirius suddenly snapped his fingers, giving Remus a pleased enough smirk. "Stop your worrying about me Moony, I can guarantee the twins won't be taking this one lying down."

Remus nodded grudgingly. It didn't make anyone's anger disappear by one level, but it did ease the misery of watching Harry's face as he relieved this moment.

Harry could only gaze out the dark window where snow was falling again. The Snitch had made its way back to the common room with him and was now flitting about chairs with Crookshanks chasing it.

James sighed as he imagined the old grin he could put on people's faces as he did this same thing nights in a row, of the party that should be going on, of simpler and fun times in his school, was it truly impossible for his son to enjoy that?

Angelina finally slumped off to bed, wishing this was all a bad dream and they hadn't even played yet.

"I don't ever want to relive this day, considering I'm struggling to come up with a worse outcome than this," Sirius huffed.

Remus gave a commiserating nod of agreement, Lily frowning pityingly at all of the boys in the room, but even she couldn't imagine how this could have gone a better way, the end results seemed inevitable by this point.

The common room slowly dispersed as well, only Harry and Hermione lingering because Ron had yet to make an appearance. When he finally did come edging in, he was covered in snow and just as pale as it.

Hermione quickly ushered him to the fireplace, asking where he'd been.

Ron just said on a walk, then told Harry he was going to resign first thing in the morning.

Lily truly pitied him, but couldn't help wondering if that wasn't for the best. Just because you were good at something didn't mean you could do it in front of a crowd, and that's clearly where Ron was sitting. She'd hate to see him ever feel so low again.

James absolutely disagreed, setting his shoulders and wishing he could drag Ron onto the pitch right now, already an idea forming in his head of how he'd help him to work through this. First he'd put one person in the stands until Ron could easily ignore that no matter what was said, and then keep adding people until Ron could block them all out. He didn't care how long it took, he'd find a way so that Ron would never let someone get the better of him like this. There was no such thing as quitting with dignity as far as he was concerned.

Harry snapped at him if he did that then there'd only be three players left. Ron looked at him in confusion,

"He hadn't heard of this!?" Remus said in surprise.

"I was wondering why he didn't question why the common room wasn't in party mode," Sirius grumbled, "clearly he hasn't heard much of anything."

before Hermione explained what had happened.

Ron looked even more anguished as he said this was all his fault.

"Oh it's nothing of the sort," Lily snapped, wondering if Hermione would whack Ron upside the head for his thinking something so stupid.

Harry said it was nothing of the sort, while Ron returned if he hadn't been so bad at Quidditch,

"Malfoy would have caused all this no matter how Ron played," Sirius snapped.

the two going back and forth like this until Harry burst loudest of all for Ron to stop blaming himself for everything.

Remus winced for Ron, sympathizing with him more than anyone else as he could really see why Ron did. People telling you you were something long enough tended to leave a mark.

Ron remained in a silent misery for a moment longer before saying this was the worst he'd ever felt in his life.

Remus had watched the exaggerations of his friends all his life long enough to know better than to pick on Ron for that statement. Though he was hard pressed to really not ask if this was worse than thinking his sister was dead.

Harry snapped he could join the club.

Hermione had gotten to her feet to stare at something out the window before telling them she'd found something to cheer them both up.

"Umbridge's tombstone," James snapped.

"His Firebolt back," Sirius sighed.

Harry asked what that could be skeptically, and Hermione said with a brilliant smile that Hagrid was back.

"He what?" Harry demanded, jumping to his feet in joy as Lily eagerly pressed the book into James' hands now so he could read more about that!

HPHPHPHPHP

The Lily reads a Quidditch game in a monotone voice idea was offered by, DjuulLOVEhp!

*Fun fact, most lion roars in movies are actually done by tigers. Ever heard a lion roar? You should, it sounds like their hacking up a hairball, not exactly intimidating to watch on a computer screen, more funny than anything, but I'm sure it's plenty scary in the wild. Now tigers, those guys will make you piss yourself through an enclosure.

** Reports say a Bludger weighs 149 pounds! I don't need to be a scientist to know that is more than enough to not only break a spine but go right through the human body if dropped on someone, let alone hit with force from a distance. In second year one of these was enough to break his elbow at a glancing blow! I'm not sure whether to call bull on inconsistency, or wonder if Harry died in this moment and the rest is all some twisted version of hell.

[retvenkos]

Okay so I’m personally offended with myself for not having found you earlier? Like, YOURE AMAZING! Your writing is super awesome and I’m glad I finally did find you. Anyways, I was hoping I could request a 🔥 ship/HCs? For BBC Merlin, PJO/HOO, and ATLA (or LOK, whichever you’d prefer or is easier for you). I am bisexual so I’m down to be shipped with whatever gender (although I am kinda leaning towards men rn). I’m a Ravenclaw and my Myers-Brigg personality type is INFP-T. I’m kind of a nerd and I love learning new things. I tried to learn Latin at one point but it was while I was in school and I didn’t finish before the school year was up. I love reading, writing, singing, listening to music, watching movies and watching musicals. I also really love physical affection (both giving and receiving). I love any and all animals SO MUCH. I can be kinda silly sometimes but I know when to get serious. I love having fun with my friends but I also just love the days that I can just sit with them and relax. I’m pretty protective of the people I’m close to. I’m also kind of stubborn. I have a small obsession with dragons and kind of just mythical beings in general. I feel happy when I make others happy. I like helping people when I can. My main love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. If I were a bender in the ATLA/LOK universe, I would be an earth bender. I’m also a sucker for soulmate AUs, which you might have noticed when I was reblogging your stuff earlier. I think that’s all?? If you need anything else, just let me know! And thank you so much!!

PS: CONGRATS ON 2.5k

thank you for your kind words about my blog! i’m glad you like it here, lol. and, as always, disclaimer that it’s been a while since i’ve read pjo and so the headcanons might not be the best. bear with me.

Merlin:

I ship you with Gwen!

alright, i was debating between gwen and sir leon, but i 100% believe gwen is the perfect match-up for you - both of you are sweet and kind yet clever with the potential to be teasing, annoying idiots.

the two of you would get along famously, and you would be the sweetest, most supportive couple - literally everyone wants what you have, and i can’t blame them.

both of you are caring and love your friends dearly, you are the ultimate mom friends. you love to make everyone happy, and so both of you are always looking out for the other. 

furthermore, gwen would love to hear all about interests - she loves to hear you talk about your reading and writing, and she loves how you learn with such a fervor. learning something new is a great way to increase the quality of your life, and gwen loves to hear about what you’ve discovered - so much of her day is spent in routine, being a servant and all, so when you can tell her something good - something other than castle gossip, she loves it.

also, i have this headcanon that gwen can sing really well, so you know she loves music. she’ll sing in the early mornings, when the two of you are getting up before the sun itself, and it never fails to make you smile.

i think that both you and gwen have great versatility to your personality - you both can get very excited and giddy but then come back down to earth and be stable and strong. this is good because both of you can support the other in whatever situation you may be up against. 

furthermore, you are both witty and teasing. the two of you have a lot of ongoing banter that makes your otherwise monotonous days exciting and fun. you’re upbeat personalities bring joy to your lives, and that’s important.

also, the two of you would be very affectionate toward each other - gwen has no qualms with hugging you or holding your hand, so she is able to accept your affection and return it in a similar manner. and gwen is very good at giving sincere compliments! whenever she praises you, you can’t help but think it’s true.

also, modern! au gwen is an avid movie watcher, so the two of you have marathons together. gwen always brings the popcorn.

PJO/HOO:

I ship you with Travis Stoll!

okay, you cannot tell me that this pairing isn’t chaotic as hell.

you are the smarts to travis’ mischievousness, and the two of you bring a lot of fun to camp half-blood. you help travis and connor with their pranks, but you are also there to make sure that no one gets hurt, because a good prank is one that makes people laugh, but has minimal casualties. (ngl, chb is kind of glad that you and travis got together because the pranks are a lot safer now.)

i definitely think that travis would be the one to bring you out of your comfort zone, but he does it so earnestly, with only the best of intentions, so it’s hard to say no. the two of you go on adventures together and you have a lot of laughs.

the good thing is that you also bring a lot of calm and stability to the relationship - you are one of like two (2) people who can  get travis to just,,, chill with you. he likes to play videogames with you, so you hang out a lot in the hermes cabin, legs tangled together as you chill out. 

at your core, i think both of you are very determined people, and that’s what initially drew the two of you close together. you both have a fire in your hearts, and while that comes out in different ways, you’re both very ambitious and goal oriented people.

and you know that travis has the greatest taste in music - you are going to be introduced to some very interesting and cool songs. maybe he’ll nick a cd or two for both of you to listen to. and what’s cool about his music taste is that it’s adventurous and all over - he loves everything and so do you.

you both explore and learn about the world in different ways, and you are both incredibly knowledgeable in opposite ways, so when you put your heads together, the genius that comes forth is insane.

i imagine that the two of you hang out in the strawberry fields a lot. you listen to music or talk while walking through the fields, and then travis ends up stealing some of your strawberries and you end up chasing after him (damn his tall legs)

LOK:

I ship you with Mako!

this is the complete opposite of your previous ships, but stick with me for a minute

you are perfect for mako because you can be serious and stable, but at the same time, you can bring out his silly side. mako needs someone who can get down to the core of his being and pull out that happy, childish side of himself that he hasn’t found in a long time. he’s had to grow up fast, and he needs someone who is serious and sincere, but is also lighthearted and oh-so caring.

the two of you are so protective and caring about the ones you love - you’re like the parents of the group who are trying to wrangle your unruly children, and it’s a dynamic i am here for.

and when you encourage some of korra or asami’s wild plans, mako sighs, like “disappointed by not surprised.” but then you bring him to the side with a plan on how to make their optimistic plans more secure, and he’s like,,,, alright.

also, the banter the two of you would have is legendary. mako is known as the #done, sarcastic one, and he was not expecting you to come out with amazing wit, but here you are. the two of you have the best side commentary, and it’s almost a competition now. you’ve yet to get mako to laugh at your well-timed jokes (some of which are terribly corny), but he does crack a wry smile almost every time, so you know it’s only a matter of time.

also, convince me otherwise, but mako is a reader. he likes a lot of historical fiction, but also stories based off of legends, and the two of you will often spend your weekends inside, reading on the couch. he’ll make you lunch and then the two of you will talk about what you’ve read, sitting cross legged with your knees touching. mako is usually a little vague with the details on what he is reading, but what often happens is that he’ll have recommended the book you’re reading, so he’ll listen to you ramble about your favorite parts with a lovestruck smile on his face.

you definitely introduce mako to more music - he’s never been super into music, it was always more bolin’s thing, but he’ll listen with you. he has a few favorites, and you have to coax him into telling you what they are, but he’ll tell you anyway because he’s very much in love.

also! the two of you go to see bolin’s movers, and you whisper to each other throughout the show, making jokes and funny comments, and ngl, bolin gets a little concerned. mako should never enjoy himself so thoroughly, that only ever leads to disaster.

anyway, you would be great for mako because when you two hang out, you bring mako out of his shell, and he is always there to support and protect you, should anything go awry. 

i get big vibes of “the serious one is soft for the fluffy one” except both of you are the serious one and the fluffy one, depending on the moment, and you wildly fluctuate between the two.

[high-stuck]

Okay, fourth page, here we are, and already some major revelations. John’s dad is almost certainly connected to the Life Aspect. Why do I say that? It’s quite simple, actually. He appears in the beginning to enjoy baking, just like his mother, whose post-scratch counterpart is a Maid of Life. Baking is a representation of Life as well. Why is this important? Well, John being raised by his dad has had a huge effect on him, as it has for all the kids. One such effect is that he is related in some ways to Life, not just Breath.

The one that sticks out on this page is that he likes to program computers (which is associated with Doom, Life’s opposite) but isn’t very good at it. On the Aspect Wheel, both Breath and Life are very far from Doom, so he struggles with manifestations of Doom. He struggles even more with manifestations of his True Aspect’s opposite, Blood. Think of how he separates himself so often from his friends, or changes his mind, or shirks responsibilities in favor of screwing around. Since he’s always received his Aspect plentifully, as the Heir of Breath, he struggles quite a bit with its opposite. He even has an antagonistic relationship with Karkat, the Knight of Blood, for quite some time and, mainly due to his association with Breath, refuses outright to do what Karkat says, despite the troll managing to wrangle so many other disagreeable trolls together to push toward a common goal.

Now let’s think about how this factors into the other characters. Rose is very obviously affected by her mother’s Aspect, Void, and even plunges into its depths when she goes Grimdark and inverts into a Witch of Void. Her mother’s alcoholism and neglect, the mysteries and confusion that characterized their miscommunication with each other, and even Rose’s misinterpretations about her mother’s psyche are all drenched in Void. She struggles with it deeply, even turning to drinking later on in the story, and it’s tragic to watch its effects. She was raised by a woman who represents her Aspect’s opposite, and this struggle is even seen in her nature as a talkative Light player, who nonetheless can be cryptic and utterly incomprehensible at times. Though she tries to be informative, so much of her interest lies in shedding light on the unknown, especially that which does not wish to be known. She peers into the Furthest Ring, and instead of penetrating the dense fog, the fog swallows her, and she drowns.

Dave’s is an interesting case. At first, given the official Aspect Chart as we see on the Extended Zodiac pages, it would seem odd that two Aspects that are right next to each other (Time and Heart) would manifest in such a troubled relationship. However, we must consider that their Classes (more specifically, Dirk’s) play a big role. See, the Prince and Bard are Destroyer Classes which can occasionally “ghost” their Aspect’s opposite as they destroy their own. Thus, Dirk acts much like a Mind player at times, and Mind is almost directly opposite of Time on the chart. Now it all makes sense! Dave struggles with his identity throughout the story, especially since he’s so busy trying to act like he’s something he’s not. He goes through a few different masks, from “coolkid” to “hero” to “not a hero” and discovers more about himself each time. He is plagued by the consequences of his actions (Mind’s domain) and grows to despise the “mind games” his brother plays, yearning for genuine human connection underneath layers of “irony”.

Jade has a strange relationship with her own guardian, especially considering he’s a stuffed human corpse, but we can see a glimpse into the Aspect relationship when we see how she speaks to Jake through their “pen pal” arrangement. Space and Hope are just two Aspects apart on the wheel, therefore they hold a friendly disposition toward each other. Jade comes across as an optimistic person, occasionally with her head in the clouds, but when she finally snaps, she snaps hard. Her temper is extreme, and she lashes out, sometimes violently, in a way that is quite reminiscent of Rage players. She seems generally convinced that there are other options available, and has a strong belief in helping others, to the point that she becomes distraught if she isn’t able to do so, which are excellent manifestations of Hope. What Jade sees in the clouds while dreaming also fuels her hopes, but when she takes a look at her Shadow (insert obligatory essay about how Jadesprite is, in Jungian fashion, Jade’s Shadow) she becomes irate, literally beating herself up. The qualities she sees in Jadesprite include cowardice, indecision, and being a general annoyance, which are all qualities we see in Jake when his false bravado is forcefully stripped away. “Turning the mirror to nature” is a manifestation of Rage, which I’d like to discuss further sometime.

[vixey-chakraborty]

Vishaka Chakraborty -- Character Sheet

you leave home, you move on and you do the best you can. / i got lost in this old world and forgot who i am. i thought if i could touch this place or feel it / this brokenness inside me might start healing. / out here it's like i'm someone else, / i thought that maybe i could find myself. / if i could walk around i swear i'll leave. / won't take nothing but a memory / from the house that built me.

Archetype — The Innocent Birthday — September 08, 1992 Zodiac Sign — Rising Pisces; Sun in Virgo; Moon in Aquarius MBTI — ISFJ Enneagram — Type 2; the Helper Temperament — Phlegmatic  Hogwarts House — Huffleclaw Moral Alignment — Neutral Good Primary Vice — Lust Primary Virtue — Charity Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Mayra Chakraborty Father — Pahal Chakraborty Mother’s Occupation — Farmer Father’s Occupation — Farmer Family Finances — they get by, certainly aren’t wealthy Birth Order — second oldest Brothers — Farhan (older brother, 1988); Harish (younger brother, 1994); Lance (brother in law, 1994) Sisters — Shanaya (younger sister, 1997) Other Close Family — Charles Patel-Chakraborty (husband, deceased: September 23, 2020) Best Friend — tbd Other Friends — lots of swynlake natives; people from her hospital in london Enemies — n/a really Pets — so many...all the farm animals Home Life During Childhood — Good! Hard. They moved when she was very young (5, so in 1998) to Swynlake. Her whole family picked up and moved together and it was hard to adjust at first, but she’s been in Swynlake so long that its home. The first few years were rough as the farm got established, but once it was bringing in steady income, then things smoothed out. She loves her family a lot and they mostly all get on really well.  What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — She and her littlest sister shared a bedroom from the time Shanaya was like 4, until Vixey moved out. It was very girly and cute.  Any Sports or Clubs — She danced a bit, but wasn’t really into extracurriculars. Also, she had to constantly help on the farm and wrangle her little siblings, so she didn’t have much time.  Favorite Toy or Game — Her sketchbook. Vixey could just happily sit in the corner and draw all day. Schooling — Swynlake schooling until she went to King’s College for nursing.  Favorite Subject — Science, she likes how organized it is, lol.  Popular or Loner — Relatively popular. She was friendly and had lots of friends. Nationality — Indian-British Culture — Indian-British lol Religion and beliefs — Hindu! 

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Richa Moorjani Complexion — She struggled with acne when younger but it’s taken care of now. Has a few really cute moles and freckles. Hair Colour — Dark brown Eye Colour — Brown Height — 5’7 Build — Curvy Tattoos — None Piercings — Nose piercing Common Hairstyle — Wears it braided back most of the time, usually with a headband. Clothing Style — Casual-chic, lots of jeans and boots, but cute shirts/sweaters. Mannerisms — Fiddles with the end of her hair a lot or chews on her hair when she’s thinking.

Usual Expression — 

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Living on a farm you are exposed to everything and therefore have a very hardy immune system, lol. Physical Ailments — None! Neurological Conditions — Suffering from a bit of depression.  Allergies — None! Grooming Habits — Pretty good, but not as good as you’d expect. She definitely doesn’t mind being dirty and sometimes forgets to shower before going into town after being out in the barn and such. Sleeping Habits — Normal, as a nurse she would sleep as soon as she hit the pillow. Has been having a bit more trouble these days. Eating Habits — Good! Eats a lot of healthy stuff, not a big sweets fan. Exercise Habits — Good! Girl has excellent upper body strength hauling animals and haystacks and that kind of thing around. Also goes running and does pilates. Emotional Stability — Good! Yes, she gets sad and will withdraw, but overall she is pretty stable. Body Temperature — Runs a little cold. Brings a sweater to the grocery store. Sociability — Very social, though she’s quiet. Friendly, but shy. Etc. Addictions — None, well--coffee? Drug Use — N/A Alcohol Use — Probably more than she should be drinking, rn. 

Your Character’s Character: 

Bad Habits — not wanting to deviate from her plans at all Good Habits — planning things meticulously lol Best Characteristic — responsible and organized Worst Characteristic — rigid Worst Memory — losing her husband Best Memory — her wedding! :( Proud of — her accomplishments, her family Embarrassed by — having to come back home after doing so well on her own Driving Style — a bit wild, honestly. The only time she isn’t extremely meticulous. Strong Points — organization, empathy, kindness, determination Weakness — not wanting to deviate from the plan Fears — not knowing where to go from here Phobias — none really Secrets — that part of her is glad to be home Regrets — not spending more time with her family the last few years Feels Vulnerable When — people ask her about her life goals lol Pet Peeves — disorganized people Conflicts — wanting to move on v not knowing where to go Motivation — making her family proud Short Term Goals and Hopes — get back on her feet and return to London Long Term Goals and Hopes — she’s not sure Sexuality — bisexual Day or Night Person — day Introvert or Extrovert — introvert Optimist or Pessimist — kind of in the middle? Depends on the situation Greatest Want — to find a new path in life Greatest Need — to take a breath and look around 

[wwilloww]

Get To Know Me tag!

Tagged by the ever-wonderful @ot7always  !! you’re lovely and amazing! 

1. What do you prefer to be called name wise? Willow! Will! W! Peaches! Honestly I love nicknames and if you can wrangle my name into something cute I will love you for it. 

2. When is your birthday? March 15th, the good ol’ ides of March 

3. Where do you live? I live in the Rocky Mountains in the USA. 

4. Three things you are doing right now? Editing a cowboy stripper Jungkook crack fic. Eating watermelon. Listening to old school jazz. This is the strangest combination of things ever. 

5. Four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? BTS. I uh, am not in any other fandoms. But I like books? Does that count? I am in a fandom for my dog?  

6. How is the pandemic treating you? I’ll be honest, it’s been a struggle between moving back home, prepping to move across the country, losing a lot of work, and not getting to be in person with my people. But at the same time, I am doing my best to make the most of it! I’m dancing and walking and writing a lot, which are things I don’t usually get to do when I’m in the middle of life at full swing. 

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now? Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey and Maria by Hwa Sa

8. Recommend a movie? Call Me By Your Name - I will talk about this movie and soundtrack any day of the week. 

9. How old are you? 23

10. School, university, occupation, other? I’m about to begin graduate school, and I have my own business doing intuitive work and creative consulting which I’ll be taking with me!

11. Do you prefer hot or cold? Cold. Let me bundle up and snuggle into my comforter and 13 blankets. 

12. Name one fact others may not know about you. Oh my god I’m an open fucking book who can’t keep their mouth shut. But I hate the question “Where are you from” because I never know how to answer it. 

13. Are you shy? I am shy but I am also an impatient son of a bitch. So if I want to talk to you I will dieeee waiting for you to talk to me. So usually I just end up making the first move. 

14. Do you have any preferred pronouns? My pronouns are she and they. 

15. Any pet peeves? Gossip and jokes that afterwards you have to say “it’s just a joke!” It’s not a joke if it hurts someone. 

16. What’s your favorite “dere” type? I don’t know what this is?? I’m sorry. 

17. Rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be. Ahhh this is a hard question to answer. I am 10/10 grateful for my life right now. I’m taken care of and healthy and writing. However, I’m also struggling at a 5/10 and I would love to be in a space to improve this. So let’s average that and say a 7/10? That feels optimistic but that’s okay!

18. What’s your main blog? This is it!

19. List your side blogs and what they are used for. @2readlater is where I sometimes queue things to read but I am very inconsistent! I need to put some more time into it. 

20. Is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you? Hmm. I am pretty open and will share things when I need to share them, so I don’t think so? Maybe that sometimes I will look at your text when I feel really tired, tell myself I’ll respond when I have more energy, and then completely forget. 

I’m going to tag @joopiterjoon and @moonchild-og and @ladyartemesia and @thatlongspringnight but no pressure to do this!

[lunarity2013]

OC Details: Lucy Stone

So, I figured it was high time I told you guys about my Hogwarts Mystery OC! I got most of these questions on here from @thewasp1995 (Go check out his OC David, btw, it’s super detailed and so cool!) I really hope you guys enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------

Name: Lucille Maria Stone

DOB: October 16, 1972 (turned 12 during her first year)

Parents: Candace and Sean Stone

Siblings: Nathan Samson Stone (oldest, 9-year age difference, Ravenclaw), Casey Andrew Stone (youngest, 6-year age difference, muggle)

Nationality: Irish

Ancestry: Muggleborn

House: Hufflepuff

Height: as of Year 4, she's 5'1". She doesn't get much taller until after graduation, stopping at about 5’3” by age 25

Eyes: large, round, dark brown

Hair: waist length, light brown, wavy

Sexuality: Demisexual, hetero-leaning

Likes: reading, writing, singing, helping others, cheering her friends on, card games, charms, astronomy, ancient runes, nifflers, cats

Dislikes: being the center of attention, hurting people, fighting, doctor’s offices, spiders, clowns, being betrayed, baking (she’s bad at it)

Friends: Rowan (best friend), Ben (best friend), Penny (surrogate sister), Charlie (competitive best friend), Bill (surrogate brother), Tonks (good friend), Barnaby (crush), Tulip (good friend), Andre (friend)

Enemies: Merula (formerly), Ismelda (thinks her constant threats are a big red flag), Rakepick (evil), Snape (his decision), Nathan (depending on the game's ending)

Neutral: Skye (she helps tutor her), Talbott (more Penny’s friend, but she enjoys seeing him), Merula (after finding Nathan), Liz (Barnaby and Charlie's good friend), Murphy (he's cool)

*Badeea, Jae, Diego, and others to be decided at a later date, after I actually meet them in-game*

Love Interest: Barnaby Lee

--------------------------------------------------

Strengths/Weaknesses/Hobbies: 

Positive traits: honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused  | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty |funny

Negative Traits: moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power - hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | masochistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | rebellious

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What’s their personal philosophy?  Do they even have one?

For much of the earlier portion of her life, Lucy’s motto would be “do unto others and you would have them do unto you”. Up until about the time Rakepick shows up, and Ben’s secret-keeping, and just the all-around mess that her life becomes when the Vaults come into question, this is what she lives by. After about Year 4? It shifts a bit, focusing her own values and energy towards protecting her loved ones and innocent people from those who would cause harm, and doing whatever necessary to stop them. And after finding Nathan, she begins to include him in the latter.

How do they feel about their status and reputation as the curse-breaker in the school?

Lucy was never one for the spotlight, even as a little kid. She was content for years to simply look up to her older brother in his successes, and then later to help her parents with her baby brother, showering him with love and attention. Actively searching for the Vaults, and subsequently breaking the curses within, was only part of her plan to try and find some closure as to her brother’s disappearance (something she has convinced herself he was merely a victim of and not an active participant, to save herself grief of her brother not being what she thought). She doesn’t like having so many eyes on her, especially for something she knows is dangerous and putting herself and her friends in harm’s way. But every time she tries to back out and leave it be, she gets dragged back in.

Did they get sorted into the Hogwarts House they expected to?  Did the Sorting Hat have any problems sorting them?  Or did it not even have to touch their head?

Before Nathan’s disappearance, she would have loved to consider herself lucky enough to be a witch, let alone be sorted into her brother’s house. After his disappearance, however, she had mixed feelings about the idea of sharing his crest and colors, and possibly having more eyes on her than before. Her values lined up differently than his, however, and the Sorting Hat gave her an out in the form of Hufflepuff house. She was still a little disappointed by being so far from her brother’s life there, but years later, she’d swear up and down that being put in the house of fairness, honesty, and loyalty is where she truly belonged.

What’s their personal style?

Lucy wears a lot of early Autumn colors, usually. Lots of oranges, yellows, browns, and olive greens are kind of signature to her style. She typically wears things that make her feel cute and kind of kid-like, so over-large sweaters with skirts or overall shorts and dresses with print tops (floral or stripes, typically). She usually pairs both with comfortable boots and long socks. She wears her hair down most of the time, except when actively exploring the Vaults and when studying for final exams.When it gets cold, she’ll sometimes “borrow” sweaters from her friends to stay warm (usually Bill and Barnaby).

What are their coping strategies for dealing with everything (the Vaults, Jacob, etc.), if they have any?

Lucy has terrible coping mechanisms for her problems, unfortunately. She convinced herself early on that her brother had probably been killed by the Cursed Vaults while trying to help protect others from the curses, and is thus even more broken up when she eventually does find him and sees what kind of person he’s really become. She tries at the start of every year to ignore the signs of another Vault opening, just trying to live a normal, Hogwarts-student life, only to be dragged into it when people have already been attacked or hurt. After the incident with the dragon and Rakepick, she tries to close herself off, thinking it’s because they’re so close to her that her friends keep getting hurt. It doesn’t work, and her friends end up finding her and hugging her as she cries about everything that seems to go wrong with her life.

What electives do they take throughout their time at Hogwarts?

If she could, she would take every class available because it was so hard to choose just a few! In the end, however, she settled on Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, and Ancient Runes, because Alchemy was only for 7th years, and Arithmancy was “just magic math”. Muggle Studies was almost chosen instead of Divination, but Luc decided she wanted something a little more challenging. (She didn’t realize her patience was what would be tested lol).

Are they in any clubs or extracurricular activities?  What about Quidditch?

It’s really hard to find time to do extracurriculars when you’re trying to protect people from being frozen in ice blocks or sleep-walking into an acromantula nest. She did join the Frog Choir after third year, though unfortunately drops out between 5th-6th year to focus on her studies (and the Vaults). She occasionally goes to the music club, though is not an official member. Unfortunately, Lucy may be a decent flyer, but isn’t quite cut out for Quidditch. Besides, she’d rather be in the stands (huddled and warm) while watching her friends play instead. Sometimes she’ll help Madame Pomfrey with healing students in the Hospital Wing, but the smell of the potions and medicines reminds her of the doctor’s office, so she wouldn’t ever do it for a living.

How studious are they?  What kind of studying strategies do they use?  Do they have any study groups with their friends?

Lucy is a stickler for good note-taking, bringing a bunch of spiral notebooks and colored gel pens and highlighters with her every year to take “proper” notes to share with her friends during their weekly study sessions. She and Rowan usually lead for most classes, though Penny takes charge for Potions, Ben (and Rowan and Bill, sometimes) lead for Charms, and Charlie and Barnaby for Care of Magical Creatures. Lucy, Rowan, and Bill sometimes help some of the younger students set up study groups as well, and often let the younger Weasley siblings and Cedric join their sessions, too. Liz doesn’t always study with them, but will when she needs to, Tulip and Tonks only show up when forced or bribed, and Skye was wrangled into coming once, but got everyone off task getting into a trash-talk showdown with Andre over the Gryffindor v. Ravenclaw game the following day; everyone else either has a different group to study with or refuses to do so entirely.

How willing are they when it comes to breaking school rules?

Lucy hates getting in trouble, since it’s being put under a spotlight in a more negative context for her. The first three years of school, she tries whatever she can to avoid breaking the rules when possible. After the Fear Vault is closed, however, she starts loosening up a little bit. She still doesn’t like to break the rules, but she’ll do it with less coercing, and gets even sneakier to get away with it.

Do they hang out with any of their friends over breaks?  If so, which one(s) and what do they do?

Living all the way out in Ireland, just outside of Dublin, it’s a bit harder to get to visit her friends before she heads into London for her school shopping at the end of summer holiday. Charlie and Bill make use of the fireplace to invite her over for dinner a few times during the break, flooing her there and back without much hassle. She makes time to spend with Rowan specifically during the summer, inviting her over to spend a week or so every year, and Rowan inviting her for the same amount at her house right after. She gets an owl (a cooky brown owl that her little brother named Bernard) for her family to send her mail during the year, and uses him herself to keep in touch with the rest of her friends until September rolls around again.

After they graduate, do they fall off the map and keep a low profile?  Or do they continue to exist in the public eye?

After deciding very early on that she didn’t much care for being the center of attention, once she had the opportunity to fade into obscurity, she took it. She eventually married Barnaby and moved with him to Romania, where he and Charlie work together with dragons. Lucy decides a little later on to document some of her childhood, but feeling awkward about writing her own life story down, changes the names and some of the details to instead create a fictional book series for kids. It later gets published under a pseudonym and achieves moderate success in both the muggle and magical worlds.

How does their career path differ from what they thought they’d be doing?  Or does it differ at all?

It took Lucy her entire life to figure out what she wanted to do. At Hogwarts, when asked what career path she wanted to pursue, she was so shocked that she asked if she could “just go back to bed”. She decided to take whatever classes could be most broadly considered for a number of professions, and even then wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to do once she left Hogwarts. She decided to handle her personal life first, cheering her friends on as they found their paths, and then going with Barnaby so he could achieve his dream. It was only later, after beginning to just write things down, that she realized how much she enjoyed doing it.

Do they have any hobbies?  What about any talents or aptitudes?

She loves taking some time to just goof off with her friends, playing Gobstones or getting some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. She’ll spend some gloomy weekends curled up in a big armchair in the library, quietly reading to herself (and later, helping Barnaby with his dyslexia). She’s also a major card shark, winning almost every muggle card game she’s ever played and often tricking her friends into playing with her and losing anything from candy to wizard cards to even money, on occasion. She’s particularly good in Charms class, as well as Astronomy and Ancient Runes.

Do they have any favorite spells?

She likes spells that can used to help others, like Episkey or Protego. She has a certain fondness for Expecto Patronum, of course. She also likes using Lumos, to light up her bed behind the curtains after a bad nightmare.

What’s one thing they did or thought as a child that they later look back and cringe about?

Long after she and Barnaby finally get together, they both end up hearing about the bets their friends placed on their relationship and how lovesick they apparently acted before asking each other out. Tonks and Tulip will sometimes act out their mutual pining at lunch or at the Three Broomsticks, leaving both of them flustered and cringing over just how insufferable they must've been before they realized their feelings were returned. If she could go back and do it over, she might almost be tempted to have just kissed Barnaby at the Celestial Ball and avoided the whole mess. Almost.

If they could travel anywhere at all in the world—money, time, and language not being an issue—where would they go and who would they take with them?

It's a tough choice between some very good options, travelling to historical landmarks across the globe with Rowan, getting tasty food in Paris with Penny, or taking her family for a nice, normal vacation to Disney in the States. But eventually, she'd probably decide on travelling the world looking for various beasts and creatures with Barnaby, and writing about their adventures.

If they’re an Animagus, how easy was becoming one for them?  Were they happy with their Animagus form?  Or did they want it to be something different?

Lucy studied up on being an animagus with Talbott while at Hogwarts, but couldn't bring herself to actually become one until after graduation. She remains an unregistered sparrow animagus even after Voldemort is finally defeated. She would've liked to be maybe some kind of cat, but can't deny that being so small and being able to fly are some great advantages when the second war rolls around.

Do they like what they see in the mirror?

Had it not been for her magical abilities making themselves known as she grew up, she might've gone through all of primary school unnoticed. As it was, kids often ostracized and ridiculed her for being weird and different until she finally went to Hogwarts. Between that and the guilt she carries for everyone that gets hurt by the Vaults, it takes her a very long time to come to terms with herself and her self-worth.

How good are they at taking compliments?

Lucy is pretty decent at taking compliments, so long as it's not a bunch all at one time; she gets anxious when too many people try and talk to her at once. When Barnaby compliments her, though, she gets flustered and stumbles over her words while blushing really bright, almost blocking out her freckles.

How much do they trust their friends?

Lucy trusts those she keeps close to an almost impossible degree. It can sometimes lead her to trouble, such as leaving her vulnerable to pranks by Tonks or Tulip.

Are they pretty self-reliant?  Or do they like to go to their friends for help?

At first, she's much more willing to do things as a group, having her friends' backs as much as they have hers. Later on, however, she begins closing herself off, trying to take on everything herself to avoid her friends getting hurt because of her. It doesn't last very long, however, as they all work better as a team.

Who is their favorite Weasley?  Or can they not choose?

Ginny and Ron are just too cute, from what little she's seen of them. Bill is like another older brother, and she loves him dearly. She and Charlie are great friends, but anything and everything becomes a competition with them, starting with a "who knows more about dragons" contest that she actually won in their 2nd year. They could almost have been considered rivals up until later on in Year 4. Percy is alright, she Guesses, but even she thinks he needs to loosen up a bit. And she spends most of her time trying to just keep the twins separated from Tonks and Tulip, if only to avoid the Apocalypse.

What’s the thing they like least about themselves?

She's a little stuffy about rules, she worries too much, her actions and choices keep putting people in danger, and FFS, she faced a DRAGON and still can't kill one measly little spider??

What’s the thing they like most about themselves?

She cares about her friends and family, she would never go out of her way to betray them or to hurt others. She takes pride in the lives she's helped and saved.

How bad is their temper?  Do they tend to lash out at others or themselves?

Her temper only gets really out of hand when someone she cares about gets hurt. She can usually handle someone hurting her with nothing more than a few years, but attack the people she cares about? That'll be the last thing you ever do.

What’s their biggest regret in life, if they have any?

She blames herself for far too many things. She wishes Ben hadn't been hurt and controlled by Rakepick, she thinks she could've done more to help and support him. She feels like if she had been more observant as a kid, she might've seen something going on with Nathan and could've stopped his disappearance. She's terrified about how the two of them being so involved in the Cursed Vaults with effect Casey as he grows up, and if he'll end up inheriting their legacy or not, if it might get him killed.

What kind of first impression do they tend to leave on others?

Lucy is sweet, doe-eyed, and a little naïve. A pretty face, very smart, but very open and trusting. Would apologize to you if you poured soup into her lap. Most would either want to protect the sweet, innocent child or absolutely take advantage of her trusting and kind nature.

What is the achievement they’re most proud of?

She once managed to eat an entire tin of her mom's homemade butter cookies without vomiting (her mom isn't a very good cook, and definitely can't bake). But now she's expected to eat at least some every time her mom bakes them when she's home. (Just another advantage to being away at a boarding school most of the year).

Do they like having photos taken of themselves?

She's a little camera shy, depending on who she's with; any groups larger than maybe 5 and she'll try to duck around and take the picture herself instead. But small groups, she can handle it. And she'll take any photo with Tonks, so long as she changes something about her appearance to take the main attention off of her.

What’s one big way that your MC differs from the in-game canon?

Lucy does not like searching for the Vaults. She would have been content with maybe a few of his journals and an official, personal explanation from Dumbledore. Sh didn't need this. She doesn't want to be the one fixing this, but apparently no one else knows how or cares to try, so she feels responsible. She's also not in the same house as her brother.

If they’re an Animagus, why did you choose the form for them that you did?

Lucy becomes an animagus much later than in canon. She becomes one right before the 2nd war, in order to evade detection. She becomes a little sparrow bird, small and common enough to escape notice. I chose it because of its relation to the second Fable game, whose protagonist is named "Sparrow".

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So, I hope ya’ll enjoyed! Let me know if any of you have any more questions!

(Edit: I am so sorry about the picture formatting, I know its hideous, but I have somehow lost the ability to use my mobile app to fix it (no fucking signal, my ass) but I promise I will try again tomorrow, when I am far away from the lack of signal at my house.)

[raisingsupergirl]

Losing Our Traditions: How Are YOU Handling It?

This past Friday was supposed to be the Simpson Relays—Farmington, MO's annual high school track meet. It's an event that I not only participated in for four years in high school, but I've also covered it as a physical therapist every year since I returned to town in 2011. Because of this, it holds a nostalgic place in my heart. Sure, it rains almost every year, but it's still a chance for me to catch up with all of the Farmington students, coaches, and parents whom I've gotten to know so well over the years. And it's a chance to spend a relaxing afternoon in a place where I spent a large portion of my formative years. In short, it feels a little like coming home. Which is ironic since the very thing that caused this track meet to be cancelled this year is the same thing that's got us all stuck at home. Corona virus: robbing us of our traditions since 2019.

I'm a pretty optimistic person, but I've always had a peculiarly morbid way of looking at yearly traditions—birthdays, Easter, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, rifle season. You know, all the important stuff. For the average human, we'll only experience about 80 of each of these, at most. And we remember an even smaller amount than that. So missing just one is more than 1% of our total life experiences for that event. So "skipping" Easter or baseball season or spring for a year is kind of a big deal. A few weeks ago, I talked about living in the moment, and I stand by that. My point here is that sometimes we don't have a choice. Sometimes we're forced to miss things that we love. We lose 1% of that memory. So my question is this: what do we do about it?

Obviously, everyone is dealing with this pandemic a little differently. Some are really hunkering down, spending hours sanitizing door-dropped groceries and investing in chemical warfare-grade gas masks to wear while checking the mail. Others are ignoring it completely, shaking hands with everyone they see and picking their noses afterward. Most of us are somewhere in the middle, and the same goes with our emotional responses. We're not in complete denial, but we're not having daily breakdowns, either. And that's what makes the whole situation so hard to wrangle. There's no one piece of advice or world-view to recommend. I, for example, am still working full time—about 25 hours in the clinic and 15-ish from home. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and my two daughters are still too young to miss out on any serious schooling. So, our lives are very much the same as they've always been. And yet, there are still some strange emotional tensions and fears that we're dealing with. They're not the same as yours, or the same as an eighty-year-old asthmatic atheist stuck in a nursing home (yes, religious beliefs are significant when dealing with mortality and fear of death). So, with all of that in mind, how could I possibly give you useable advice on how to deal with the loss of our dearest holidays and traditions?

The obvious answer? I can't. If I tell you to create new traditions on those days, some of you will drown in the sense of loss caused by moving on. If I tell you to spend time reminiscing on the best memories created in years past, some of you will find the bittersweet nostalgia too heavy to bear. But if there's no advice to be given, what are we to do? Well, if you're still reading this, you're already doing what needs to be done—you're thinking about your situation. You're evaluating your own life, your own senses of loss, missing out, and new experiences.

When I sat at home this past rainy Friday, I thought back on all of the Simpson Relays I'd attended in the past—both those while I was in high school and those I've covered as an adult. I reminisced over the track and field events I (mediocrely) participated in, the friends I made, the girlfriends I made (none so beautiful or talented as you, dear), the games I played, the wins, losses, highs, lows, and in-betweens. I'm only thirty-four, but my life has already been long enough that some of my great memories are starting to fade into the mists of time. And it's events such as the corona pandemic (as horrible as they are) that give me the chance to reflect and reevaluate the good times and just how important they have been to me. I'm not saying you have to ruminate over the past like I do. I'm not saying you have to ignore that past and forge ahead. I am saying that you need to take five seconds and figure out what's best for you.

Don't be a victim of circumstance. Don't spend your time blaming and lamenting and throwing a fit. Take control of your situation. And by that, I mean take control of you—not of the president or the World Health Organization or the crazy lady at the grocery store. You. Make the choice of how you're going to respond to these hard times, and then follow through. And if that choice doesn't work out as well as planned, try something different. We're all learning here. We're all going through loss and confinement and uncharted waters. But that’s no excuse to lose our crap.

You know the crazy thing about 1%? It's only 1%. It may seem like a lot at the time, but it's not. And even that 1% hasn't been completely stolen from us. We still got to have Easter, even if it was different. And even though the Simpson Relays were cancelled this year along with all spring sports, that doesn't mean spring was cancelled. Or sports. This afternoon, I watched my daughter play Wii baseball/bowling/golf for like two hours. And yesterday, I sat outside and grilled all the meats. Life isn't cancelled right now. 1% of it just looks a little different. And how you deal with that is 100% your choice.

Have a good one, y'all, and keep living your best life.

[lesbienneanarchiste]

Nonbinary Jew Bucky Barnes

Messy and slapdash makeup combined with intricate braids and nail art that belongs in a museum - the ring finger of their left hand has חי carved into the metal and the act of braiding reminds them of their mother and sister, dark strands of thick, wavy hair twining around their fingers. sometimes they take all the braids out and redo them over and over, reliving the mornings Ma would braid Becca’s hair all neat and beautiful and unfashionable before they ran out the door for school. 

The memories of their parents, Becca, the actual moments that mattered are slow to come back and get muddy the soonest but reciting shema every morning feels like a lock and key on their father’s voice.

Neopronouns feel clunky no matter what language they use until they find a group of other nonbinary jews carving out a space in English and in Hebrew, a pocket where they belong and the words feel right and their tongue doesnt trip over itself in their head.

They remember their bar mitzvah, remember the pride on their nonna’s face, remember feeling like they were on the wrong side of the mechitza when they stood with their father, that tinge of unease winding through even without the words for why

One thing that hasn’t changed in 100 years is Jews arguing. They find a shul and go to Torah Study. At first they’re quiet; out of the loop and unused to having a say. But the people are nice and the rabbi’s encouraging and eventually they practice saying No, letting themself have opinions, reveling in the minutia and the debate over every single word.

They’ve visit a synagogue in every city they go through, even the smallest ones, even if they’re only there for a few hours. The small ones in Europe and North Africa, empty and crumbling or only museums now, are the hardest. A rabbi in Kolkata spends the afternoon with them, teaching them the history of jews in India, and Bucky stays an extra three days in the city just to spend shabbat with him even as the ice of paranoia telling them to keep moving tightens around their spine.

They try to explain to Steve sometime in ‘39 but it doesnt come out right. “So you wanna be a dame, Buck?” “No, that’s not- it’s not- I’m not-”. Steve tries though, wrangles with his mother’s sewing kit to let out the seams on an old dress thats so handed-down its hard to tell what the original color had been. It doesnt fit right, the skirt’s somehow a little short on one side and the waist gets tucked clumsily but Bucky wears it every time they know it’s just them and Steve, wears it until they get drafted and there’s no room for a dress in a combat zone.

To Bucky’s surprise but probably no one else’s, Sam is the first one they say anything to about it, when gender is a thing they have the luxury of stewing over instead of being preoccupied with surviving. He gets it more than Steve had in the beginning, suggests some trans resources online, shows Bucky the Keshet site. He’s the first person to ever even think to ask Bucky about pronouns and makes sure they know he’ll respect whatever they pick if they decide not to go with he/him anymore.

They try pronouns out slowly and almost entirely in their own head at first. Any pronouns they’ve ever seen anyone mention anywhere. She/her feels as not-wrong-but-not-right as he/him, they/them feels so so much better. Stel and em and ke are fun but not quite the right fit. Xe is really good but they’re not optimistic. Things are better in the 21st century than when they were young but hours spent researching and scrolling through forums and sites and blogs shows xe is unlikely to be used outside nb-specific circles. Still, its nice. Hearing Steve say “Bucky doesn’t eat bacon anymore; they keep kosher now” feels so warm. Sometimes the hard memories are more easily told in 3rd person and the little xe’s they write into the beat up journal makes the trauma a little less overwhelming.

The first kol nidre in the midst of a congregation is rough. Service the next day is even harder. They’re at a reform temple with a friend of a friend named Bernie and they can barely read the siddur. Our sins are an alphabet of woe. every breath they breathe is teshuvah.

they start collecting hamsas and nazars. every wall in their room starts filling up; every gift from other people has one or the other involved, Steve draws little hamsas onto the notes he leaves for Bucky every morning before his run until it becomes a sort of code - he only leaves them off when he’s had a rough night and Bucky knows to plan something hot and comforting because the first thing they can remember of their mother is her saying that food is healing. they let steve talk it out over their meal, even if it’s 3 AM, even if they haven’t slept in a few days themself, and it always feels sore yet safe after when they sit in silence on the couch, drained and exhausted but a little less burdened. 

(this is getting really long and i have more thoughts but like... i have a lotta feelings about nb jewish bucky, pls feel free to add more if u too welcome nb jewish bucky into ur heart)