#it's harder because one of them actually talked to me

[takaraphoenix]

Mutual Devotion (Sneak Peek)

“You know,” Lydia said casually. “I appreciate that you got over your crush on me, Stiles. This would have been… so much harder if you kept making heart-eyes at me. Jackson’s been the jealous type even before he became a werewolf, but now he is…”

“Territorial,” Stiles offered with a chuckle. “Yeah, I feel like him turning into a werewolf did a lot in the me getting over you. I know my crush couldn’t compare to a mate-bond.”

Derek was glad that none of the wolves were in the room to hear the surprised jump of his heart. How did Stiles know about mate-bonds? He lifted his gaze carefully off the selection, watching Stiles, even as Stiles kept his focus on Lydia. Derek also noted that Stiles wasn’t lying, he was over his feelings for Lydia. Derek tried not to think about the way that made him feel.

“Mates?” Lydia echoed, raising her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” Stiles groaned and tilted his head back, before staring dead ahead at Derek. “Don’t tell me you still haven’t had the bees and birds talk with the puppies!”

Knowing the answer and not even waiting for Derek to say anything, Stiles simply barreled on. “Mates, you know, like… like soulmates. But… not in the cheesy trope-y way of names written on your skin or whatever. Just… a perfect match, I guess? I think that wolves actually feel it though. Scott and Allison are mates. That’s how I got onto that track to begin with, like, there was just no other way to explain them, and everything they did for each other. You can only excuse so much with rampant teen hormones. And yeah, Allison is Scott’s anchor, which I guess is like another word for mates when it refers to a person instead of a thing or emotion. She grounds him, his love for her allows him to focus on his wolf. The same way that you allowed Jackson to regain control, back then. Because you’re his anchor. You’re his mate.”

For the first time since Derek knew her, Lydia actually looked surprised and like she had encountered something that she had not expected. Derek’s attention shifted to Stiles though.

“It’s not another word for mate,” Derek whispered. “Anchor. Your anchor doesn’t have to be your mate, you don’t need a mate to have an anchor. Parents, siblings, friends, they can be anchors too.”

“Oh,” Stiles blinked, like he hadn’t expected for Derek to give any input at all, before he cracked a big smile. “But the rest is right? Did I do the right research?”

Slowly, Derek nodded. “Perfect match is… right, in a sense. We don’t… know the moment we meet someone that they’re ‘the one’, if that’s what you mean. A perfect match is something forged. You can have multiple mates throughout our life, my aunt, she lost her first mate years before the fire, but she fell in love again and forged a new mate-bond.”

“Okay,” Stiles furrowed his brows curiously. “Then what makes a perfect match?”

“Mutual devotion,” Derek could hear the words spoken by his mom, when she had explained this to him as a young boy. “A mate isn’t just someone perfect for you, it’s about… what you are willing to do for each other, support each other, help each other, make each other better. This mutual devotion to one another is what forges a mate-bond.”

“Mh,” Lydia blinked, repeatedly. “I suppose… that does apply to us. We are devoted to each other. Even through the worst of it, even when he was awful to me, even when I was awful to him.”

“You are,” Derek offered in a soft voice. “Mates, I mean. Wolves can smell it on each other and on claimed mates. And Stiles is also right about Scott and Allison. Which… is why I cut him as much slack as I did. I knew why he was so obsessed with the youngest member of the Argent family.”

Stiles hummed in understanding, looking at Derek. Mates. Derek swallowed hard as puzzle pieces started to fall into place in a way he had so far tried to ignore. But having this conversation, and looking at Stiles during it, it became impossible to deny. Over the past year, they had helped each other, saved each other’s lives, fought side by side. And now, for the past month, Stiles had helped Derek truly build his pack, strengthen his pack. Bringing Erica and Boyd back to him, forcing Derek to confront Jackson, whom he had avoided out of guilt because if Derek hadn’t bitten him to begin with, Jackson would have never turned into the kanima and had to go through all that trauma, he had genuinely thought that Jackson wouldn’t want to be a part of this pack. But it seemed that Jackson had needed as much of a push as Derek. And that was one thing Stiles excelled in; pushing. With Jackson came Lydia, of course. Mates. And now, suddenly, Derek’s small pack of three betas who kept snarling at him had turned into a much happier pack of five betas and one Stiles.

Which, perhaps, was another reason why Derek had kept putting this realization off. Stiles was undeniably pack, he had been here every single day to rebuild the pack house, to bond with Derek and the betas, yet Derek could never bring himself to think of Stiles as a beta. At first, he pretended that this was because Stiles wasn’t a wolf, was a human. But he didn’t have the same qualms with Lydia, he considered Jackson’s mate one of his betas. It was the way Stiles went about things that made him different from everyone else. Providing food and moral support for the betas, keeping them together, mediating between them, and between them and their Alpha, taking charge, at Derek’s side by making Derek find a place to live, start renovating the house, change his training methods with the betas. That wasn’t the kind of behavior a beta would be allowed to get away with. That was the behavior of an Alpha mate, the co-leader of the pack, the heart of the pack.

Stiles Stilinski was the Alpha mate of the Hale Pack. And Derek had no idea what to do with that.

--

(This is an excerpt. There is currently 7k more of this story and I have yet to reach the end. Stay tuned for June 22nd, which is the estimated posting date for this fic, like, I should be done with it by then!)

[hemmingsleclerc]

One last time pt2┃charles leclerc

taglist

@is-just-a @charlesgirl16 @spookystitchery @leclercsluvs @itsjustkhaos @willowpains @magical-spit @falaihullo @emryb @ssararuffoni

ִֶָ 𖥔 ﾟ˖ ⊹ › ‹ ᵎ 𖧧. ⊹ ˖ ♡.˚˳១୨୧ ༘✰ ༘ ˚ ˚ ༘ ‧₊˚𖧧  ִֶָ 𖥔 ﾟ˖ ⊹ › ‹ ᵎ 𖧧. ⊹ ˖ ♡.˚˳១୨ִֶָ 𖥔 ﾟ˖ ⊹ › ‹

Y/N's hands shook as she wrote the message to Charles: "See you at our place by the old lighthouse in 20 minutes." She hit send before she could doubt herself and tossed the phone out of her reach. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her mind filled with thoughts of what she was about to do.

The old lighthouse had always been their place, a small hidden place where they escaped the pressures of their lives and were themselves without cameras or people around. As she drove there, memories flooded her: late-night talks, stargazing, and the countless times Charles had made her laugh when she felt like crying or vice versa.

When Y/N arrived she was pacing nervously, checking her phone every few seconds. Finally, she saw Charles' car stop and her heart began to beat even harder and she felt a chill run down her spine.

Charles came out and walked towards her nervously, his expression one of mere concern and confusion.

''Hey''

'Hey''

She took a deep breath, her thoughts confused and chaotic. “Charlie, I…” her voice broke and she looked away, gathering courage. "I need to tell you something"

Charles said softly, moving closer until he was a few inches away from her. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know it."

Y/N nodded and her eyes met his. "Well. Here it goes. The song I sang tonight is about you, I know you already knew that because it's been everywhere but I wanted to tell you myself. It's always been about you. All my songs have been about you. I've had a crush on you since we were kids and I was too scared to tell you because I thought you'd never feel the same. And seeing you with Elise just… broke my heart. But I had to tell you, even if it means losing you as a friend. I can't keep pretending anymore and I understand if you want to stop seeing me or talking to me I will understand."

Charles stared at her, his eyes wide with surprise. For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence lengthened, unbearable and heavy.

"Y/N, I…" he started, but she cut him off, her words coming out quickly.

"I know it's absurd because you don't feel the same and now I'm just saying a lot of things and making everything awkward and…"

Charles stepped forward, took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a kiss filled with years of unexpressed emotions, longing and love. Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly melted into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck as she passionately kissed him back, standing on her tiptoes.

When they finally broke apart, they were both breathless, their foreheads pressed against each other. "ma cherié," Charles whispered, his voice full of emotion and desire. "I've always loved you. I was too scared to ruin what we had. I thought you only saw me as a friend and I didn't want to lose you, I didn't want to lose us."

Tears welled in Y/N's eyes, but this time they were tears of joy. "Charlie, I've had a crush on you since we were 15. What the hell?"

Charles laughed through his tears and hugged her tightly. “I can't believe we've wasted so much time,” he said, his voice filled with a mix of relief and happiness as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

Y/N leaned back a little and looked at him with a smile. “Wait, what about Alex? “I can’t do this to her.”

Charles chuckled and shook his head. “Oh, Alex. We're not actually dating. We never were, apparently swe both like people of the same... type. It was all just a misunderstanding. She's just a friend and we thought it would be easier to let people think we were together instead of constantly explaining our friendship over and over again''

Y/N laughed, feeling lighter than she had in years.

A few weeks later, the Monaco Grand Prix weekend arrived and the paddock was full of life. Y/N and Charles had decided to keep their relationship private for a while, wanting to enjoy their new happiness without the public's attention. But as they walked hand in hand, their love was impossible to hide.

ynln has posted a story

caption: 🏎️❤️‍🔥

f1

Liked by f1_gossip, ynln_updates and 582,583 others

f1 Look who's here! Our favourite girl of the paddock!

username MY BABIES!

username YN 🥹💓💓

usermame chayn again I'm sobbing😭😭

f1

Liked by 2,823,108 others

f1 CHARLES LECLERC WINS IN MONACO🏆🤩

HE WINS AT HOME!!!

username THE WAY HE RAN CRYING TO YN I'M WEAK

username HE BROKE THE CURSE

username 😭😭😭😭😭

charles_leclerc

Liked by 3,685,298 others

charles_leclerc BEST DAY EVER THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!❤️🤍❤️🤍❤️🤍

My very first win in home and finally able to call her mine ❤️🥲

username THE FUCKING HARD LUNCHING!?!?!?!

lewishamilton

schecoperez Bravo Charles!

arthur_leclerc Let's goooo

pierregalsy Bravo Champ!! Trop content pour toi!!!

username SUPPORTIVE BESTIES THAT'S WHAT WE LOVE

ynln Congrats my golden boy

ynln

Liked by charles_leclerc, pierregalsy and 1,593,294 others

ynln P1 IN MONACO!!! Tremendously proud of you Charlie, I know how much you have trained to get this wonderful achievement and I am truly captivated by your great determination and love! I love you from here to the moon my ferrari boy

pierregasly happy for both

charles_leclerc s'il te plaît, arrête mon amour, je suis sur le point de pleurer, je t'aime (please stop my love, I'm about to cry, I love you)

username My parents

username Right person, right time

Sorry if it's late in posting but I happen to graduate so yes! hope you like it🥲🤍

[utilitycaster]

Hope I can phrase this in a way that makes sense but—

What well-known actual-play cast member is your favorite for each of the core D&D class? Not necessarily a specific characters, but I’m interested in which players you think brings the most to each class.

This is a very interesting question! It's a hard one to answer for some classes and very easy for others so bear with me; also there are a couple where I could not pick just one.

I'm sticking to the PHB 12 for, as you said, core classes:

Barbarian: While Travis did give us "I would like to rage," I think Ashley and Taliesin get to share this one for me. I think they both really explore what rage means to someone and while I love a good "I'm a tank because I can take the hits and that's what I do and what I'm good at" story, I also think Yasha's messy relationship with her feelings of guilt and grief, and Ashton's chronic pain, are both incredible ways to play with the barbarian archetype.

Bard: much easier. Sam Riegel and Krystina Arielle. I'm a sucker for someone who actually sings even as I don't think you have to (and have played bard without doing so). It's both clearly a class they each love dearly and it shows, and they're incredibly musically talented performers to boot.

Cleric: Lou Wilson. Especially since I didn't like Fantasy High season 1 Fabian until the end of the season Kingston blew me away. I would love to see him explore cleric again, though it's exciting to see him as a paladin on WBN.

Druid: Emily Axford as Moonshine. Emily as a rule understands D&D classes very well anyway, but I think the culture of the crick and the ways that Moonshine must grow as a character while being a druid take it to the next level. (Also I prefer a caster-heavy druid to a shapechanger-heavy one; that's just me).

Fighter: Back to NADDPod because literally who could I say other than Jake Hurwitz, the man who only plays fighters. People who are new to D&D when they start actual play can be hit or miss imo; some pick it up and some lean harder on being showy to make up for it and it doesn't play well for me personally, but Jake is the greatest hit.

Monk: Marisha Ray; Beau is just generally a great character, and I think Marisha's own experience with martial arts informs the way she plays her; monks can be kind of repetitive in combat even with strong players and she manages to avoid this through her description.

Paladin: This is actually super hard because people don't play straight paladin a lot. This is incorrect of them, but it is an intense class. I think Luis Carazo and Zac Oyama are like...the duality of paladin (and indeed, redemption paladin). The tragedy and the comedy.

Ranger: Laura Bailey, natch; it's funny because Vex is in many ways not the archetypal ranger due to having high charisma, but she is simply my favorite and that's that on that. Sorry the mechanics were so bad; I would love to see more rangers in D&D even though Vex will be hard to dethrone. I promise Tasha's fixed them!

Rogue: I think I'm actually going Murph on this one. I like when rogues are more of the detective/spy type than the assassin/criminal type [obligatory "of course that's what you'd say you stupid paladin stan"] and inquisitive and arcane trickster are probably my two top rogue classes so Riz it is.

Sorcerer: I do consider PF1e cheating here because it's technically a different system that also imo addresses a lot of the weaknesses of sorcerer/makes it way better, but Bryn Monroe of RQG did play a great sorcerer. In D&D? Giving Emily Axford a second spot here for Saccharina. I'm going to talk about this for warlock, but I think sorcerer is a class you don't have to justify but if you don't it's a little unsatisfying. Sorcerer really shines in the Crown of Candy setting, and metamagic often doesn't live up to its reputation but Emily makes it work for her.

Warlock: Travis Willingham. I think there are classes that are kind of self-explanatory, for lack of a better term; you can play a fighter or rogue or even a bard or druid without going super deep into why the character is this class and still be an incredible character (though a good backstory never hurts). But there are others where you really need to be engaging with the class at all times to make it work, and warlock is one of them, and Fjord explores the warlock pact and what it means like few others.

Wizard: Aabria Iyengar. NO ONE gets wizard hubris as a player like Aabria. Knowledge is power and boy do wizards love knowledge. I especially like that most people in 5e play wizards as genuine adventurers because it feels very easy to play them as old guy in robes swept up in events beyond them; Aabria plays wizards who are combat ready with the humanity and backstory to make the difficult decisions sympathetic and meaningful, and I think that's how you have to play it.

Note: I want to specifically call out Liam O'Brien and Siobhan Thompson as "people I trust in basically any class or system and just didn't happen to hit a favorite here due to sky-high competition/personal preferences". They are both very close seconds for wizard.

[artisplatters]

GENLOSS ANALYSIS TIME

Spoilers ahead, go watch the vid if you havent already

Also I'm writing this as I'm watching it so don't mind any inconsistancies too badly

Episode 1: Spirit of the Cabin

So right off the bat we have confirmation that the ingredients Ran was being made to cook (and Charlie being made to eat) are actually various organs and flesh bits.

Actually, maybe this was already confirmed but I don't remember there being flash-backs in the original, but then again i only learned how to move frame-by-frame recently (like... today)

And then that explains Charlie's hesitance in eating the dish! He's still under mind control but its some crazy cool resistance that he was able to put it off as long as he did.

And when Ran's mask is flashing we now can hear soundbits from later on in the experiments, from whenever he's not under control, an audio testament that they've been through this multiple times like a loop. Which yeah, we already were told that when the mask lights its because he's receiving memories again, but we (or at least, I) didn't know the memories were of the exact events shown in the episodes.

My only question at the moment in regard to that is that, everyone killed was definitely, irl, actually for-real killed (in universe), so how are they brought back to do it again? Clones? Future resuscitation tech?Are they just conscious corpses being puppeted around like some sorta sick marionette show?

And Sneeg, oh Sneeg, the way he was made to stand so rigidly while Ran was asleep, couldn't even move or sit, just looking around frantically. I wonder if he was made to feel like it had actually been 8 hours. I wouldn't put it past Showfall Media.

Episode 2: The Mastermind of the Warehouse

So, it seems like they cut out the Mastermind's little bit of a freakout when he gave Ran "a little bit of juice" that almost killed them, they also made it look like Ran's recovery from it was much quicker. Makes me curious, but I guess they don't want any of the audience thinking the "villain" is just as scared and unwilling as the heroes yet.

Though with how blunt they are with the other murderous torturous stuff, I'm surprised thats one of the things they chose to cover up.

Speaking of which, the surgery section.

God, the surgery section.

Also sped through a bit, understandably, but that cut away to the security camera where he's just screaming in agony.

It hits way harder like that oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

Charlie is an absolutely insane actor.

Onto the Carousel! Which, by the way, the animation blips have been so fun and they are so well done, amazing work on the animation team's part.

OHHH WHEN SNEEG GETS HIS HAT BACK HE GETS FLASHBACKS TO THE CABIN

You see him freak out at remembering but him trying to keep his composure, UGH such good acting. And him saying he needed to go to the bathroom so he can try to escape, still can't believe that almost worked.

But when they catch him with the mask? So much fucking creepier somehow. Everything went dead silent and froze, and even though his body is compliant you can see the anger and fear in his mind. Also felt like that lasted longer than before.

And then how everyone just snaps back and gets into "acting" again, also super fucking creepy. Insanely well executed.

now, skipping forward to after Nikki's death, when Ran goes through the door after the Mastermind... FACTORY RESET? It says factory reset? How far back does that take Ran? They seem to still remember what they had been through so what exactly is it resetting?

I dont remember the slimetowel segment at all, I feel like it was added. Though that would be the nature of generation loss, not being able to tell what was added and taken away.

Episode 3: The Choice

Oh boy here we are again

The transition being in the style of one of those "classified document" videos is a great touch, cuz it does go "off-script" here supposedly, though we all know thats not the actual case.

Ran trying to talk to the camera people still breaks my heart, they're not in control all they can do is film.

Also, can't believe I ever thought Hetch was a good guy after hearing "You aren't supposed to leave yet" and then the blatant lie that everyone is still alive. Like I never trusted him to begin with but he seemed about as trustworthy as everyone else thats under control.

The way Hetch talks about the company makes it sound like its some sort of eldritch entity, rather than a business conglomerate. And who's to say it isn't, with how it's "repurposed" and "recycled" literal human beings, turning them into brainless automatons. Also the cut to Charlie's stream startled me lol.

Aw man, the music/heartbeat/ringing drowning out Charlie's voice after they find Hetch and get the map. Incredible way of showing Ran's mental shock.

Ȩ̵̏p̵̬͊ị̶̼̋s̷̺͝ö̶̪́̒d̷̹͉̓̑ȇ̶͚͓̀ ̷̤͛͝3̶̨̥̾:̶̥̌ ̵̱̫̔Ṭ̶̺́h̴͔͑̈́ḙ̸̻̅ ̵̱̉̂H̸̞̄e̶̬̠̎͐ṟ̸̜́̾o̶̳͊͝

Ough

Still hurts

The change I've noticed here is that we start zoomed in on Ran's face, whereas I think before we could see the whole scene from the start, Hetch, all of it.

And WOAH, the flashes of the photos before the announcement? Are those all photos of them when they were kids? thats such an amazingly disturbing detail.

Another disturbing detail, the zoom-in and silence following the box closing, showing all the blood pouring out. Horrifying. Not even any music or anything while the credits roll. Really lets the audience sit in what just happened.

The Therapy Sequence

I'm calling it the Therapy Sequence based on how the dialogue sounds, though it very much could be psychology or something else.

This Ms. Roads Character is new, I believe

She's been having "vivid, scary dreams" and says to call her Zero, which ha ha pun but also kinda sad. Zero Roads is a kind of hopeless sounding name.

And then, in the unlisted vid, its the Founder giving us the tape of the social experiments.

"Its your experiments now"

I hope people who are able to afford to buy the tapes will share it's contents with the rest of the community. "Communication is Key" and yada yada.

I have no doubts that there's more secrets to be found within.

Final Notes

I'm so fucking proud of Ranboo, oh my god

This story that they're weaving continues to amaze and inspire me, its so incredible that he's gotten to create this.

I'm so excited for what happens next.

[australet789]

Ugh i hate that i went back to caring about actors.

It has been a few days since i stopped checking their socials but the need to see what's happening is there and im trying to fight it so much.

I dont want to care because I know they are nothing of me and I'm nothing of them. I'm aware of it and yet i cant stop myself from caring...

I hate this bad habit I dont remember how i got out of it the last time.

[qualityrain]

dude theres something abt firefly wedding. marry ur hired killer so u dont die and the love interest is a crazy yandere but also theyre trying to make it work???? before sakoto confesses that shes been playing along and cannot marry shinpei he was like lets talk because youve been off lately is it because of me i dont want to do something that makes you sad because im bad at reading peoples and my own feelings. like even before this its like sakoto going excessive violence is bad! and the whole would shinpei treat anybody that accepts him the same way he says hes in love with sakoto. that perhaps his love for her is not different from loving a child or an animal. what is love anyway (baby dont hurt me- )

[aethernightmare]

[tenok]

The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.

And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.

1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)

2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)

3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.

So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)

Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!

[byfulcrums]

i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way

[elytrafemme]

i have at this point talked to at least a few of my college friends about cough syrup, only two of them knowing it by explicit name. and i find it incredibly funny because one of them was an actual committed fan who dropped after the major hiatus, and the other one only read five chapters in before giving up 😭 i have much love for the hiatus survivors because my dear close friends were NOT committing to that shit

[rotisseries]

actually now that the clique thing is a few days old, i didn't really get involved for a reason and I don't feel super strongly in either direction

but I will say that like. while there's certainly a problem of less interaction on the fanworks/posts from less popular blogs, this isn't really a byler exclusive issue? this happens in most fandoms these days, interaction is just on a decline in general which IS. a problem but not really a "byler tumblr is cliquey" problem. in regards to any actual cliques I wouldn't say they don't exist but I don't think it's "the popular kids" themselves doing this. I don't know if the rest of you have some other bloggers in mind that I don't know about, but as someone who is mutuals with a fair amount of who I thought were the popular blogs, they are always very nice and welcoming to me, and actually easy to talk to once you just. see them and talk to them as a normal human and not an omnipotent fandom god. so this is all to say that if there's a clique issue I think it's from the outside. I think maybe people are perceiving these bigger blogs who all happen to be friends as these untouchable idols in fandom and it's. making it cliquey from the outside. like are they a clique or have you just convinced yourself they wouldn't want anything to do with you and isolated this group from everyone else. this isn't to say that people can't be assholes of course just that I don't think any of this is intentional

[bookwyrminspiration]

really random story but I cannot get out of my head how the other day, I walked out of my room wearing this one sweater I really like, and I had my arms held rigid at my sides so the sleeves fell with as few folds as possible, just walking like that without moving them because I like how it feels and it lessens sensory input. and my mom looked at me, and I don't know if I'd just never done that in front of her or if it'd been long enough she'd forgotten

either way, she looked at me and asked why I was doing that, but when I couldn't come up with an answer, she asked instead: "does it help you?"

such a simply question, but something about it rewired something in my brain. yes. yes it helps me and I like it. and I don't know exactly why but it helps me and that's what matters. and so I nodded, and she nodded back and said "okay" and moved on. as if she didn't just rock my world. i don't need to justify, to compensate, to explain, to make up for, to reason away my odd behaviors to make them "make sense" and allow myself them

what a lovely question. does it help you? good, that's reason enough <3

[n0ct0urn1quet]

god. i hate socializing and i hate talking to people . why cant i just look at someone i wanna be friends with and go hey ur cool let's be friends now

[whimsyprinx]

i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people

[justdoityo]

Saw some good university friends tonight and it was really nice 🥰🥰

[icharchivist]

i have my grips with the anime but there’s really some scenes it completely nailed (like Itaru’s gamer reveal), and when i reach those specific scene in the VN i really can’t stop thinking about just how good the anime was for those scenes in particular.

Case in point right now: the moment they’re trying to give out flyers for RomeJuli in the street and no one is stopping, so Masumi ends up, unprompted, to act out one of the scene as to bring attention to it.

i’ve rewatched the anime so many times it actually surprised me how abrupt the transition from Flyers to “Masumi is acting” is, it’s nice but, man. 

The fact the anime really shows when it clicks for Masumi that it would work, then having him, in silence, give his flyers away so he can then focus on acting, and seeing Izumi and Sakuya look at him, perplexed, before he starts acting and they catch on on what he’s doing, makes it flow so much better

A3 is a VN that really utilize the VN format extremely well, so it’s not especially a tackle on the VN itself, and there’s really a few things i think the anime did considerably worse, but this scene? kind of justify the anime’s existence for a bit because just remembering it gives me chill.