#it just hurts not having someone like that in my life anymore because I did genuinely love them so much but like idk I already knew they’d

[catch1ngmoths]

Hi my pookie 😏 Can I request a Joost Klein x fem!reader where it's unrequited love, reader likes Joost, and she's about to give up because he doesn't feel the same but something happens to the reader which causes Joost to panic and confess he's always loved her?

⛆ ONCE MORE TO SEE YOU ⛆

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ “So come inside and be with me, alone with me, alone with me, alone. If you would let me give you pinky promise kisses, then I wouldn't have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my heart.” -Mitski𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋

Summary: your in love with Joost and do everything to try and show your love for him but he doesn’t seem to reciprocate your feelings and even gets involved with another girl. Talking about her 24/7 but suddenly you finally boil over and snap at him. Not knowing your standing in the middle of the street….

Note: THIS ONE IS DRAMATIC AS HELL LOL, anyways finally have the energy to finish a fic! I might post another one soon also, hope yall didn’t miss me too much ;)

Warnings: just straight up y/n and Joost hurting and y/n kinda sorta gets hit by a car (ಡ᎔ಡ)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Pain. That’s all this brought you was pain. Being joost’s best friend and loyal companion was the best and worst thing you’ve experienced. Joost was your favorite person, and you were his. But what he didn’t know was how you felt, how you stared at him longingly every chance you could.

How desperately you wanted to snuggle close to him and explain all your feelings to him. But you couldn’t, not when all he talked about was her. Louise. A girl he met and was how infatuated with, or that’s how it seemed in your eyes. He talked about their relationship and how it kept building day by day.

Today was just another day you felt the familiar tug at your heart, “-and then she said she loved my glasses, it was so kind!” Joost says, laying back as his head rests in your lap, eyes looking straight up at the starry sky you both sat under. Your body tenses and you let out a soft sigh but you quickly recover and look down at him with a smile.

“I’m glad she likes your dorky glasses, might be the only one” you say with a teasing snicker, making Joost look up at you with a faux offended stare and a pout. It wasn’t true, you loved his glasses, you always have. But I guess he never payed any mind to your compliments towards the thick black glasses that sat on his face, but he did for her. Funny isn’t it? Your snapped out of your thoughts as Joost speaks, “ha ha, very funny.” He says as he reaches up to pinch your cheek with a small chuckle.

You smile apawn the contact and lean into his touch that’s quickly stolen away as he lowers his hand back down. The warmth leaving your cheek and making your heart clinch and you look up at the stars as well. You could never tell him, you couldn’t ruin this for him.

Little did you know joost wanted nothing more then to sit up and kiss you in that moment, your teasing words and soft smile made his head spin. He was so in love with you but he couldn’t tell you. Not when you were so out of his league, I mean you’re you and he’s…well he’s him. You were way too good for him. He could never tell you, he couldn’t take you when there’s someone out there that was way better looking than him.

So Joost was willing to try and move on, when he saw Louise and noticed how into him she was he took his chance. He wanted you to do the same- well not wanted. He needed you to find someone like he was, someone that was better than him so he could at least try and get over you. He hoped him always bringing Louise up would push you in that direction, he didn’t know it would hurt you the worst you’ve been hurt in your life.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

During present time, were at your breaking point, you couldn’t listen to it anymore. So you snapped, you snapped at Joost when he brought up Louise once more. “We held hands today, she said my hands were very soft and warm?! Can you believe that- my hands are neither sof-“ he’s cut off by an aggravated sigh and he looks up at you immediately.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as he tries to scan your face to get information on what exactly you’re feeling. “Are you done?” You spat aggressively, you didn’t mean to be rude. Truly you didn’t! But you were just so filled with jealousy and envy that you snapped. Joost looks taken aback and stayed silent for a bit before speaking again, “am I done…?” He says in a tone that very stern.

“Yeah, are you done talking about her all the time?!” You replied as you rubbed your temples and stood up from where you were sitting right next to him on his couch. “Uhh…what the hell is your deal?” He says with furrowed eyebrows, starting to become frustrated at your sudden hostility.

“My deal is that you’re always talking about her! I get it, you’re in love with her but I don’t wanna hear it anymore! Okay??” You say as Joost also stands from his spot on the couch, “in love-?! Wha-“ he’s cut off by you again, “always talking about how great she is while I just sit here feeling like a third wheel!” You continue as he scoffs, “okay well I thought you were happy for me!?” He says, both of your voices raising.

“I am!! I’m just tried of hearing about how awesome and smart and beautiful she is!” You reply as you roll your eyes. “Jesus why are you acting like this?!” He says, making you scoff and cross your arms. “Uh what the fuck is that supposed to mean!!? I’m just sick of hearing about it!” You narrow your eyes at him.

You rub them bridge of your nose before you start walking towards his front door, leaving. “I’m just gonna go.” You say coldly making Joost shake his head. “What?! You can’t just leave like this?!” He says as he follows after you hastily. You don’t turn and continue walking, were you being a little dramatic? Sure. But the feelings you’ve bottled up for so long were finally erupting and you weren’t thinking about that.

“Watch me.” You snarl as you walk down the street, you didn’t know where you were going…hell you were staying with Joost for the time being, you just needed space. Joost didn’t understand that, knowing you had nowhere else to go. He didn’t want anything to happen to you so he follow behind you but you picked up the pace.

“Why the hell are you so adamant about this?! What the fuck is your problem” he says as you groan in annoyance and swiftly turn to him, standing in the middle of the empty road. He finally sees your eyes that were filled with tears, some rolling down your cheeks. It broke his heart as his eyes widen.

You laugh bitterly and sarcastically, “what is my problem?!” You raise your voice, “my problem is that you love this girl and you don’t even realize how I feel about you!! How much I love you, but you’re too busy with her to even realize! I’ve tried everything, everything joost! But your too busy with her to ever notice me so I’m don’t trying to get you to notice me!! ”

You weren’t thinking, you were just rambling as you spoke, Joost froze, not that you realized. Your vision was blurry from the tears in your eyes. Something else you failed to realize was the car coming right in your direction. (I know this is so dramatic (ᵕ—ᴗ—) I couldn’t think of anything else to happen to reader! Plus who doesn’t like a little dramatics!)

You both noticed too late, once you noticed the approaching lights you swiftly turned and saw the car speeding towards you. You have no time to react before your eyes widen, you hear your name being screamed and then everything goes black.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Your eyes crack open as you feel blinded by a bright light, you groan and try to sit up but you feel a pair of soft hands wrapping around you. Your breath hitches and eyes widen as you hear soft sobs coming from the person holding you.

Your senses finally come back to you as you see the bright blonde hair that you could recognize anywhere. Your wrap your arms around him as well, “j-Joost..? What happened?” You say weakly, your whole body hurt. But Joost finally stops hugging you, holding your cheeks in his hands as tears roll down his face.

“Your dumbass got hit by a car” he says with a shakey laugh, “god I’m so glad your okay” he finishes as he presses soft kisses to your head, your memory coming back as you groan and burry your face in his chest. A soft chuckle coming from the man in response. He sighs and lifts your chin up, looking deep in your eyes

“I’m not…I’m not talking to Louise anymore.” He says and your heart drops, you did this, you made him stop seeing the “love of his life” Joost immediately notices your widened eyes and shakes his head, “because…I figured out who I’m truly meant to be with.” He says with a soft smile as he presses his forehead to yours

“W-who..?” You say as your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest. “How about I show you huh?” He says with a smirk before lowering his head and connecting his lips to yours, you both part with shallow breaths, ““I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t know you thought of me like that, Louise was just a distraction because-“ he pauses and looks away

“Because I was trying to distract myself from how much I love you. God I’m so sorry this is all my fa-“ he’s cut off by your soft voice, “shut up and kiss me again” he smiles before pressing his lips gently back to yours and suddenly, even being in the hospital, everything doesn’t seem so bad..

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

This fic actually sucks ass, I’m sorry for the bad fic lol I promise I’ll try to lock in 🙏🏻🥲

[wintersbitterfly]

✩ˎˊ˗ star-crossed lovers

genre—forbidden love (?)

pairing—siren karina x princess fem!reader

disclaimer—karina only speaks a bit of broken english just for the concept of this fic.

the sound of the waves crashing against each other made you feel at peace as you sat on the rocks that were along the beach shore.

you weren’t worried about any potential dangers by being here. nothing had ever really happened to you. although your father tells you never to go to the beach past dark, you don’t listen.

plus, there was a certain someone that you would always wait for here by the rocks of the shore, hearing her song always let you know she was nearby.

suddenly, a splash along with tiny sprinkles of water hitting your face and arms made you let out a small shriek and covering your face before looking up, seeing her.

she had a goofy grin on her face as she looks up at you, her long black hair flowing in the water.

you smile a little, “that’s how you decide to greet me, karina?”

karina lets out a small laugh before swimming up to join you on the rocks.

“did you have any trouble getting here? i know the currents have been getting strong lately.” you ask the siren sitting beside you.

she shakes her head, “i strong swimmer.”

“i don’t doubt it,” you giggle.

“i bring present for you,” she says before showing what seemed like a necklace in her hand.

it was a crystal gem that was a beautiful blue color, held together by the strong string karina had found to use for the necklace.

“wow…rina it’s beautiful.”

karina reaches to put the necklace around your neck, “you save me. i, now, owe protect you. necklace, keep you safe.”

you look at her confused, “protect me?”

she nods, “necklace magic. protect you from my kind. scream or song no affect you, even mine.”

a smile is brought to your face before you feel her take your hand in hers, “i promise, i protect you, with my life.”

she brings your hand to her lips leaving a small kiss on the back of it.

“i promise to do the same.” you tell her.

you never expected to have fallen for a siren, ever in your life.

growing up, your father has said to beware of such creatures because they are dangerous.

and while that may be true, your opinion of sirens has changed because of karina.

she was a sweet and loving girl who just wanted a mate to call her own.

and besides, you did save her one time.

you were walking along the beach, the current strong and you were trying to be more careful as you balanced on the edges.

it was only when you heard a small shriek that made you freeze. another shriek was heard which had you searching for what was making that noise.

what you saw made you feel a pang of sympathy and worry.

a siren.

her tail was trapped under a rock that was surely putting her in a ton of pain.

tears left her eyes rapidly as she tried to move, but to no avail.

you slowly made your way to her, and when she saw you, she was quick to hiss.

“i-it’s okay. i won’t hurt you. let me help you.” you reassure as you walked closer to her.

she only hissed at you once more before you moved in front of the rock boulder, and used all of your strength to push it off her tail.

she cried out feeling it roll across her tail, but the pain was finally subsided when it was completely off.

you look down at her tail seeing it was slightly crushed. thankfully, sirens can regenerate just fine.

but it still made you feel sorry for her.

“i know it hurts. if you stay here, i can bring something that should help. i won’t be long.” you tell the siren.

she only stares at you with a uneasy expression; she was scared.

of course she was. she was a siren caught in plane sight of a human. she was for sure going to end up dead.

but all that worry went away when you had come back with a bottle of what seemed like medicine?

would it even help for a creature like her?

she didn’t know, neither did you. all she knew is that the pain wasn’t in her mind anymore.

it was just filled with thoughts of you.

who were you? and why were you so pretty and nice? and what kind of human were you that you didn’t try and kill her on sight.

after giving her the medicine, you look up at her, “this should help.”

karina didn’t say a word, but she only decided to go on her way, swimming back in the ocean and away.

“you’re welcome…” you sigh, but you couldn’t help but wonder if you would see the siren again.

and surprisingly from there on out, you both kept meeting one another everyday.

you’d check on her tail, and thankfully, it was healing just fine.

she was thankful, though she didn’t really speak much.

“you don’t really talk much, do you?” you ask her.

she simply shrugs.

“well…my name is y/n. what’s yours?” you were met with a blank stare and silence once more.

you sigh, “i guess i’ll do most of the talking…”

to your surprise, the siren was willing to meet you everyday. she would meet you always by the time the sun goes down when you’d sneak out from the castle.

and who would’ve known that you both would soon eventually fall for one another…

“what you think about?” she asks tapping your head with her fingertip.

“just about you.” you smile.

“i think of you, too. a lot.” she confesses as she scoots closer to you.

the sudden confession made your heart beat faster as she was closer to you. maybe she felt the same way.

karina’s never felt any kind of romantic love in her life, and maybe it was because of how sirens worked.

she couldn’t deny that sirens were violent creatures. it’s in their nature.

but growing up, all she ever thought and yearned for was for someone to love and to love her in return. she never thought it would be with a human, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“do you ever think our kingdoms will ever come together?” you ask looking out at the moonlight settling on the water of the ocean.

karina shrugs, “human siren war for long time. i think it take long time to stop.”

the siren wasn’t wrong.

the war between sirens and humans have been continuing for centuries, only stopping for a brief moment ever since your father and mother had you, as well as karina being born.

but due to the safety of you both, your parents had forbid you from the waters, and karina from the surface of the land.

“but, i know…i be with you. i want you. nothing stop me from you.” karina says, “i no care what father says. you, my mate. i, your mate.”

you smile a little as you look at karina, a small grin on her face.

you hold her hand in yours, her lips land on your cheek as a sweet moment was held between the two of you.

maybe one day you’d both be able to bring your kingdoms at peace.

but for now, you both remain in secret.

maybe…

© WINTERSBITTERFLY 2024

[scekrex]

Hi, if you don't mind, I have an adamsapple prompt, to get it out of the way, it's an angsty, break up one

Sinner Adam and Lucifer hook up at some point and they have some sort of schrodinger relationship but the more Adam spends time with Lucifer, the more he becomes disillusion. Sure, the sex was nice, but Adam just find being with Lucifer exhausting, he keeps teasing him in a way that is just a little out of line, invading his personal space, trying to control him in little ways that just make him uncomfortable, to the point that the sex doesn't feels as good. On Lucifer part, it's not intentional malice, it's just he got issues and their messy history got him acting a sort of way. It just built up and eventually, during a hotee activity where they're doing "I' statement comunication and Lucifer went out of line and Adam just, straight up say he doesn't want to be with him, saying all his grieviances and ending with him saying he's leaving the hotel to seek redemption else where because he does not want to be here, the place where their toxic relationship start, he doesn't want to be around Lucifer, anymore

Oh fuck yeah, adamsapple my beloved!! Also I love this sooo much because while I ship them, I feel like this is pretty accurate to what their relationship would look like.

I was born to lose, don't cut me loose

pairing: adamsapple

warnings: language & hurt/no comfort

note: not beta read bc fuck you

For Adam it had never been a problem to separate sex and feelings, one was simply for entertainment, the other caused more problems than the first man was able or willing to handle. For Lucifer that mindset didn’t apply, the devil was neither able nor willing to separate sex and feelings, one came with the other, it was a package deal. So to the devil it seemed quite normal to be close to Adam after their hook-up and even though the first man wasn’t really interested in being in a relationship with the person who ruined his life, the relationship did mean good sex. And don’t get him wrong, he liked Lucifer, the short king was quite handsome in the first man’s eyes, but he wouldn’t dare to call it love. Maybe that had to do with the fact that he had grown sort of scared of love because love meant commitment and the last time he was willing to commit himself to someone else it didn’t end well at all.

And yet there was certainly something going on between the blonde and the brunette - was it entirely one-sided? No. But Lucifer obviously did so much more to keep their relationship steady. Well, as steady as a depressed, mentally unstable person could.

And while Lucifer seemed to quite enjoy Adam’s company, Adam didn’t. To the first man Lucifer was more of a burden, it felt like the devil tried his hardest to make him feel like he was trapped in a golden cage even though he was meant to fly. Adam wanted to fuck around and find out but he wasn’t able to do that with Lucifer basically attached to his hip - whereever Adam went, Lucifer was right behind him. And it wasn’t in a cute ‘he just wants to spend time with his partner’ way, it was almost as if the blonde was watching Adam’s every move to make sure he behaved and the brunette hated it. He hated it with every cell of his body and yet he remained silent.

“Whatcha doin’~” the devil hummed in delight as he sat down on Adam’s lap. The brunette groaned, shoving the blonde off his lap, he simply needed some space, what was so hard to understand about that? “Trying to enjoy some fucking peace,” he grumbled in response, avoiding to look at the much smaller male. The short king however didn’t seem to understand that he was not welcome at the moment and simply flopped down onto the couch right next to Adam. It was only a moment later that Lucifer laid his head down on Adam’s lap, curious big eyes looking up at the first man. Adam wanted to scream, he wanted to tell Lucifer to fuck off and leave him alone for five fucking mintues, but he didn’t. He just sat there in silence, staring at the wall and hoping the king of Hell would leave. But he didn’t.

“Enjoying peace sounds good,” Lucifer mumbled as he squirmed his body, seemingly trying to get comfortable. Oh God have mercy, all Adam wanted was some alone time before Charlie’s next scheduled bonding exercise but the big G did not hear Adam because Lucifer stayed right where he was, without Adam’s consent.

The brunette sighed.

And then Charlie and her sinful friends entered the room as well, fucking great. The former angel was pissed off already, he wanted to push the devil away and lock himself in his room, but Charlie always gave him shit for skipping exercises and so did Vaggie and while Lucifer’s presence was bad, his former exorcist was worse. So he swallowed his anger and simply went along with whatever was about to come.

“Okay guys, today we’ll do something different,” the hellspawn said happily, clearly excited with what would follow - Adam immediately knew he wouldn’t like whatever the princess of Hell had planned. “To get to know each other better,” she looked at Adam while she said that, “We’ll be doing I statements, tell us something about yourself - whatever it might be.” That really didn’t sound too bad, Adam was great about talking about himself and there was plenty to tell. But before he had the chance to say anything, Lucifer spoke up and the brunette groaned again.

“I love the way Adam moans my name when I fuck him,” the devil grinned and while Angel seemed fairly interested in that, Charlie scrunched up her face in disgust, she clearly did not want to know shit about her father’s sex life and Adam really couldn’t blame her for that. The former angel himself snapped at the devil’s words though - he had heard enough, he had seen enough and he had enough of Lucifer in general. He harshly pushed the blonde’s head off his lap and before the smaller one was able to complain he got up from the couch.

“Okay you know what? Fuck you. You think you can fuck around without a care in the fucking world? Pushing my buttons like it doesn’t mean jack shit? Well, you very much fucking can’t, cunt,” he yelled at the blonde, towering over the king who was still laying on the couch. Lucifer’s face reflected the confusion he must be feeling and he looked quite vulnerable, but Adam did not care a single bit. “You keep pushing me around like a fucking slave, you talk about me like I’m your personal fucking sex toy and I’m fucking over that bullshit. I’m fucking over you. I’m a fucking person, y’know?” His anger turned into sarcasm, his body language made it oh so clear that he was so fed up by Lucifer and the way the devil treated their relationship. “What do you-” Adam cut Lucifer off.

“That’s what I’m fucking talking about, you don’t even fucking know that you did something wrong. You,” he turned around furiously to look at the devil’s daughter who had been surprisingly quiet. “You can eat dick and fucking die, try to redeem those cunts, you’ll fail. I’m fucking outta here.” The former angel snapped his fingers, a bag with his belongings packed appeared next to him. “And you,” he gave Lucifer one last look, his eyes were filled with disgust and hatred and so was his voice, “You stay the fuck away from me.” And with those last words he stormed out of the door, leaving the hotel behind.

He didn’t need redemption anyway, surely the angelic court would decide to bring Adam back to Heaven soon enough, maybe they already sent someone to seek for Adam in the overcrowded pride ring of Hell and they weren’t able to find him because he had been staying at Charlie’s useless excuse of a hotel. Adam didn’t need Charlie and her traitor girlfriend, he didn’t need their hotel filled with fuck-ups and he most importantly didn’t need nor want Lucifer.

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[icewindandboringhorror]

I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..

[toastsnaffler]

tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(

[whimsyprinx]

i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people

[pepprs]

kind of amazing that i get down on myself for having impostor syndrome and feeling constantly stupid and naive and radiating insecurity about being young all the time when actually there is a completely explainable reason for it which is that i live in this house 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

[bongospasm]

.

[valpuduzz]

god im supposed to be working on a project but i think this is a venty kind of night. i dont feel good at all. im sorry (anything suicidal that im mentioning isnt meant to be taken seriously btw, im just going through it)

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[rechererdureveperdu]

[satorusdiary]

dilf!toji being your ex bf

fluff & angst + making up + cuddling + toji not being able to resist you when you look so fragile + toji forever loving you

part 2! - back in love !

You sent 1:03 am

hey, r u awake?

toji places the cigarette back down on the ashtray, looking at his phone slightly shocked. it’s been months since you and him have had contact, the split up that has happened to your relationship has left a strain in his heart.

why did you text him at this hour? and most importantly, why aren’t you asleep? toji knows how well your sleep schedule usually was.

his friends look at him concerned, the look on toji’s face confusing them even more compared to when he stopped smoking repeatedly just a few seconds ago.

“fushiguro, you good?” satoru questions, patting his friends shoulder as he looks over at his friends phone. he wasn’t able to get a look at the message before toji pulls the phone into a direction that wasn’t able to be seen.

“yeah.. jus’ lemme call someone real quick.” before the rest of his friends could protest, toji is up and walking over to an empty room in the apartment. taking a seat on the bed.

Toji sent 1:09 am

thought i told you to lose my number

now that’s something he wouldn’t text you, he immediately starting regretting sending that message the second you immediately read the message.

you were his sweet little girl. the young woman who he swore he was gonna marry, the one he swore to have kids with.

things were different when he realized how much his life would have an impact on you if you stayed with him.

what’s good about a sweet girl who has a bright future getting with a older man selling illegal substances, that could send him to jail for years and years.

yeah not good at all.

toji knew what’s best for you, and if it meant him not being with you then it was worth it.

because he loved you, and would do physically anything in his power for you to have the best in life.

You sent 1:09 am

i know, i just need someone to talk to rn. i’m sorry

his heart weeps, you still want his comfort even after he has completely broke you, and your relationship with him.

he should be in jail for just breaking you in general.

toji sighs, not knowing how to reply. he wants to comfort you, yet he wants to push you away from his life. push you away from the trouble and the dangers that could happen to you.

he thinks you have given up until you text him 3 minutes later.

You sent 1:12 am

can i call you, please toji?

he couldnt deny it. he just couldnt. his love for you was simply unbreakable even if you weren’t together anymore.

his friends out in the living room are most likely concerned and worried for toji, but that’s the least of his problems. he needs to know if you’re okay, if you’re hurt.

‘incoming call from Toji’

he swears his heart skips a beat when the call goes through.

toji is not one to get nervous. especially with anything in general. but when it came to you, everything comes crashing down. when it comes to you, toji is willing to do anything for you, because you were his girl. his love.

“..hi” your voice is shaky, it seems you’re nervous as well. could he blame you though? this was the first time in months he has actually spoke to you.

“hey.” he replies, hoping you wouldn’t notice the weak tone in his voice as he spoke.

there’s a moment of silence, and soft breathing from your end before toji speaks up.

“are you ok? why’d you call me.”

it’s harsh, his tone is harsh. your eyes begin watering, and you hope he doesn’t notice.

“i-i am just having trouble sleeping, that’s all. ‘wanted your company atleast to calm me down.” your tone has a small strain, as if you were crying for hours before you called him.

it was as if he was able to see your puffy eyes through the screen, he could just imagine it now.

“there’s something else, hm? c’mon tell me, y’know i won’t judge.” especially with you. is what he wanted to say as-well, but he couldn’t get to soft with you now. he couldn’t.

he hears a sniffle from your end, feeling his heart clench once more. as if his heart is dropping to the bottom of his stomach.

“okay.. t-truth is i usually sleep better with you ‘round. but since you’re gone, ‘ts been kinda rough. i just wanted to call you for once, to see if it would help..” you confessed, voice breaking down in between sentences.

toji has an urge to put you down, and hang up. but he couldn’t, how could he resist you? especially after everything he has put you through.

the bracelet on his wrist that has your initials come into his vision. you had made this for him when he was sick, he has never took it off ever since.

“y’want me to come over? not gonna make contact, jus’ gonna be there til you sleep.” he says calmly, he swore he could’ve heard you sigh in relief.

“mhmm, yes please..” you’re still polite, his sweet girl is still sweet around him. that’s what he misses with you.

“alright’ be there in 10. jus know i’m never doin this shit again, kay?” he says harshly, too harsh.

you sniffle again, he could tell your frowning and having tears drop on your phone screen. his heart strings get tugged, and he calms his weeping heart.

he’s hurt you once again.

the call ends before you could say anything else, and he’s out of the bedroom quickly taking his keys. his friends look at him concerned.

“yo, you good?” suguru comments, looking up at his friend who was ready to leave the apartment.

“where you going?” satoru also questions.

toji shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh as he turns to look at his of friends once again.

“gonna be gone for a bit, see ya tomorrow?” he waves them off, and goes out the door before they could reply, or ask anymore questions.

he knows he said he would be at your place by 10 minutes, but he ends up arriving in 5 minutes. quickly at your door step, knocking on the door gently.

just as he predicted, you open the door almost immediately.

when he looks at you, he swears he could break down then and there. on your door step.

your eyes are puffy, you’re wearing his hoodie that he “accidentally” left at your home, and there were dried tear stains on your puffy cheeks.

he wanted to kiss your cheeks badly, and cradle you in his arms. but he resisted.

thats before you crash into his arms, immediately breaking down. hugging him tightly as if he was going to disappear again.

toji breaks, he can’t handle the cold act around you any longer.

“y/n? what’s wrong baby? speak to me..” toji coo’s, his harsh tone disappeared. you automatically feel comfort from his nice tone, something you missed.

there he is, the sweet older boyfriend you have always missed. the man who was your home, your protector, your everything.

“‘missed you s’much toji. miss being with you and megumi, i-i can’t sleep without thinking about how i could’ve been better for you.” you stutter repeatedly.

it was no lie that megumi missed you as well. the boy who is only 3 years old can not go a night without asking where you were, if you were coming back to him without breaking down. because you made the little boy feel loved.

toji’s heart breaks, now he notices how selfish he has been. yes he was protecting you, but he also broke you so much. regret seeps into his body, he wraps his arms around you and hugs you tightly.

“‘s not your fault sweets, you were more than enough for me. c’mon, let’s go to bed.” he murmurs, picking you up bridal style and walks towards your bedroom. the door behind him shutting closed.

the photo of you both happily together was still on your night stand, toji’s heart breaks for the millionth time in the past hour.

his side of the bed was cold, as if you never slept on it. that’s because it felt wrong sleeping on that side, knowing it once belonged to him.

you continue crying as you’re placed on the bed, still in toji arms. he’s careful with you, placing kisses on your face and rubbing your body to give you his heat.

“i-i miss you.. s’much.” you repeat, looking up at him for the first time with clear sight. tears drying back on your cheeks.

he gives you a sad smile and kisses both of your cheeks, sticky with tears.

“i miss you more sweetheart, missed my little girl s’much.. ‘l’ll explain everythin to you tomorrow, kay?” he questions, caressing your cold cheek.

the smile you give him is sad, but could easily melt the coldness in his heart.

after you nod he places a kiss on your lips, before pulling you closer, your head on his chest while is head is rested on top of yours.

the night goes by, and your soft snores fill the room. toji’s eyes are still glued onto the photo of you both, looking so happy, so dumb and in love.

he is gonna make that happen again, only for you. he’d figure out everything else soon, his priority was now you.

“i love you, missed you more than anything. baby.” he whispers quietly, placing one last kiss to your temple before drifting off to sleep.

for the first time in months he is able to sleep with no bad feelings, or any nightmares.

that is because you’re by his side, by his side to push away all the bad thoughts. by his side to make him feel loved again.

Jujutsu Kaisen masterlist

part 2 - back in love !

a/n: don’t mind typos pls, it’s like 3:47 am😭😭

[inkskinned]

okay if you're really cool about things, i can be honest with you. before you read further, decide if you're a girl's girl. if you're cool and actually cool or like not cool.

men don't talk in my book because i was fuckken tired of the way they're the center of every fucking story. i was tired of how every story takes a moment to let them talk. men can shut up for literally one fucking book.

unfortunately not everyone is cool. professionally what i usually say is i didn't want to add violence to the world. the only men in my book are abusers, so they don't get to talk. they don't get to take up space. they ruined my life, they don't get to have their words echo anymore.

because like, yeah! you find practically any story about a person surviving trauma and... there's a man at the center. men are often rescuing us from these things. a "good man" is always standing around, being a good man, proving to the victim that good men are the real men. that her experience was unique rather than universal.

the redacted text has not been taken well by all of my early readers. there is this weird, crouching growl that keeps occurring with men-of-a-certain-age. why don't we hear his side of the story?

when i sat down to write everything that happened to me, i couldn't look at the frank brutality of my abuser's words on a page and think to myself: i actually let him speak like that. i had to redact his words from the manuscript. i then left it redacted. no victim is going to read this book and hear the person who hurt them. it is a book for the victims to speak. abusers shut up challenge, forever. for eternity.

my father once told me, chuckling, i should just have a page of redaction where i let the man just finally talk. it is funny to joke about how we should make a whole page in my book about a man that hurt me. this was not the only time someone commented - it feels like you're hiding things. how do i know you're actually a victim if he doesn't get to speak?

there are books where women aren't even present. i even genuinely like some of those books. like, who doesn't like the hobbit?

i keep running into people defending this imaginary man. the default narrative is so true to some people that they will defend any man, just by virtue of the assumption - "if he's acting like that, you had to push him." certain people need definitive proof that you didn't accidentally make your partner into an abuser. they need to decide if you deserved it, because they want to be able to judge you.

which makes sense, i guess, from a hind brain perspective. if you can figure out "why" someone was cruel, you can protect yourself against it. if you defend the bully, the bully might side with you. i don't really know their explanation for feeling this about a character in a book. trust me, i wrote the guy. he is not going to protect you.

i guess i just - there was a time in my life where i desperately wanted anyone to defend me. where i could have really used someone saying holy shit are you okay instead of what did you say to make him act like that to you.

instead, over dinner, a friend-of-a-friend i just met is pouring herself wine. i heard you wrote a book, she says. she gives me the kind of chilly smile i associate with knives. i heard it's unfair to men.

[yeslordmyking]

❤️‍🩹

For all the loved ones of Moonbin