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#it's honestly rather sickening
beastsovrevelation · 5 months
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I was looking through my notes for Good Omens fanfiction, and realized almost every damn story includes Crowley having a baby.
There's the one where Heaven and Hell decide to use an angel baby carried by a demon as a diplomatic tool, leading into Crowley being protected by Michael, and them falling in love.
There's the one where she leaves her baby with Anathema and disappears, which triggers all the following events - from the search, to Aziraphale's trial, and everything else.
There's the one where she has to supply the new Antichrist, which leads to her and Lucifer falling in love, and her being crowned the Queen of Hell. (Well, this one is really two stories set in different timelines, in the second one the "baby" is like 27)
In the one inspired by a dream, she does have a baby eventually, but that's far from the worst thing that happens to her. Gabriel's treatment of her after is... How the Hell will I write this damn thing if I can't even think about it.
There's no baby in the one where she gets tortured with diluted holy water.
I see I have no storyline with male Crowley just yet... Fine, that's not true. I do have some thoughts for Crowley x Fem!Lucifer... It could include a new Antichrist, too. And, Crowley wouldn't be the pregnant one for once. But, dealing with pregnant Lucifer would probably be even scarier.
#diary pages#writing journal#fanfiction writer#ao3 writer#good omens fanfiction#good omens fandom#crowley#good omens crowley#lady crowley#fem!crowley#writers on tumblr#writer life#ffs what's with me and torturing miss/mr. snake#she's either pregnant or she's in some horrible situation or actually it's both#yes i feel damn guilty for doing that but i can't help it#in first two bullet points the dad is aziraphale but he screws up (without even knowing it) so michael steps in...#in the first one and not immediately as a love interest at first just as a protector#don't worry she's in on using the kid for politics and crowley know's there's drama#the second i'd rather not spoil because of the detective/investigation plot#hey but she chose michael herself she was supposed to be with hastur#in the antichrist one all is obvious and honestly it's one of those “good for her” stories for crowley#but in the time jump she is kind of riddled with worry for maxine fearing she'll burn out and so on#grr the dream storyline... the dad is gabriel and don't worry in the end she ditches him i can spoil that this story is so heavy#this story is the ugly crowing jewel of my frustration with crowley saving aziraphale over and over again#what she does to protect him here almost ends up killing her or breaking her it's... seriously no idea how i'll write it#i'm also worried people will think i'm romanticising it when it's supposed to leave the reader sickened like i am#no comment on the holy water thing rn it's a simple hurtfic that develops into a survivor - the previous one is survivor in the end too#i haven't given too much thought for the crowley/f!lucifer but it should be good#fr hell would be so frustrated she chose this moron as her king consort but could do nothing about it#her pregnant would be SCARY - she's terrifying already... well terrifying and to die for
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ardentpoop · 11 months
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week 3 of
#knowing i'd rather be dead than have to live in a world where this can happen and be ignored#feeling ppls silence like a physical presence and not knowing whether im right to hate them for it#whether it means theyve always hated Me and my people#being so painfully aware of the festering rot that is capitalism and how it infests every single facet of society around the world#and knowing that i still need to go back to playing by its fucking rules eventually or i will be left to fend for myself#wondering how stifled i would feel in the workplace and how sickening and torturous it would be to hear ppl's regurgitated mainstream takes#on this ''complex geopolitical conflict''#or this ''isr*el-h*mas war'' (it is not a conflict and it is not a war)#feeling ppl's discomfort when i speak honestly when i show them just how deep this is cutting. bc to them it's not that deep#for the average white leftist it's prob just a ''thank god my favorite celebrity is on the right side of history''#for the average liberal it's Condemn Cruelty On Both Sides and an outright denial of the decades of barbarism & white supremacy that#created this catastrophe#knowing just how much ppl always want to return to ''normal'' at the expense of the marginalized. knowing they'll forget all abt this#the second we let them#but that the images we've seen and the crimes we've witnessed and the difficult realizations this has wrenched out of us will remain#i have so much despair inside me lmao and idk how much longer i can possibly carry it#there are brief moments of reprieve where it hardens into anger or ebbs into numbness but the grief always takes over at night#i feel like i cant look at anyone or anything the same way again
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feirceangel · 6 months
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How about a feyd x reader where feyd has reader watch him in the arena to gain her favor. She is impressed with him and respects his prowess. Just before a huge match what if she goes to him and leaves a hand print in paint over his heart as her token rather than a sash like the others. This fires him up/ looks super cool on his skin.
Ooh I love this!! I did my own spin on it but I hope you still enjoy! :)
Imagine | Stained (Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen)
Word Count: 1,377
Warnings: biting
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Cheers rise into the polluted air on Giedi Prime, a torrent of frenzied noise which alerts you to the occurrence of yet another gladiatorial event.
You hadn't realized there would be one today. Normally, you notice the announcements and the crowds gathering to go see the festivities. You don't often join them.
Watching people fight to death. . . it's not a habit of yours.
Lately though, you've noticed how often Feyd has been mentioning his fights, never outright asking you to watch them but leaving plenty of hints.
Being from a wealthy family has its benefits, especially on a harsh place such as this. Ever since you've been here, you've tried to make the best of it and befriend as many native Harkonnens as you can.
This first, and dare you say only, friend-adjacent connection you've made has been with Feyd-Rautha.
His brother is too animalistic and angry for your liking, and the Baron is a ghastly man you do not like to interact with. Servants won't speak to you and the Mentat Piter is sickening in his sadistic tendencies.
So, to your surprise, you got to know Feyd the best out of them all.
He's brutal, yes. Menacing and violent as well.
And so alone.
Sure, he has his concubines: his pets that he plays with but soon grows bored of. And yes, he has his mockery of a family: a predatory uncle and a nasty brother.
Yet you can see past his façade of aloofness, see into his inner self. And what you see is a man forged by others into what he is now.
You see a hurting man who doesn't know anything close to true kindness.
So yes, he is wild and vicious. But there is an intelligence and cunning within those dark eyes that you have seen countless times. 
He's constantly observing, waiting for his moment to strike. He knows how to play his hand to benefit himself.
Despite his more undesirable traits, you'd dare call him a friend.
The cheering dies down as colourless fireworks burst in the air like ink stains. You watch them, casually leaning against the balcony railing.
Feyd finds you immediately, half undressed and still painted for fighting in the triangular colosseum.
"My lady," he rasps, approaching from behind slowly. "You did not watch the fights."
"It slipped my mind," you reply honestly. "Though I have no doubts you remain the champion, my lord."
His lips quirk upwards, "Naturally."
Your eyes roam over his blood splattered body, taking in the well-defined muscles which are decorated with paint. He's shirtless, how could you not stare?
He basks in your attention, cocky smirk never leaving his face. But it strains once you turn your attention away.
Feyd comes to lean against the rail beside you. You feel his eyes on you.
"You're coming to the next fight," he finally says once he realizes you're content to dwell in the silence.
You turn to face him with a smile, "Am I?"
His eyes narrow, voice quick and sharp, "Yes."
"You didn't ask."
Feyd tilts his head, "It's not a request."
"A command, my lord?"
"Yes," he repeats, leaning closer into your space. Your teasing tone is getting under his skin, you can tell. He's almost touching you now but you don't retreat.
This is the game you play.
"I suppose I can attend the next fight," you hum thoughtfully.  "Especially since you've requested it personally."
He backs away slowly and you force yourself into staying still even as you desire to chase after him. His close proximity is intoxicating.
As if he senses your inner battle, he grins and nods to you before sauntering away.
"I will put on a good show for you, my lady."
You find yourself alone, wishing he had stayed longer.
~~~
It was not mentioned again, and now you find yourself in your room preparing for the event. You dress modestly, still unaccustomed to the fashions on Giedi Prime. A black dress does nicely, with your hair loose. 
You still have plenty of time before your attendance is necessary, but you traverse to the arena despite this. The hallways are as colorless as everywhere else, a maze of black and white. 
Feyd is being dressed as you enter the room. His sharp eyes betray a smidge of surprise which he masks underneath an air of haughtiness. 
The servants attending him walk on eggshells, knowing that any wrong move could cause their demise. 
"You may be dismissed," you say, addressing the servants. 
Their eyes flicker to you with uncertainty. The servants do not move until Feyd snarls, "Do as she says!"
Instantly, they are gone. 
And it's just you and the warrior. 
You approach him slowly, picking up the paint pot that the servant abandoned. Circling him, you note how his eyes never leave you, even when he has to twist his head to keep you in his sights. 
"My lord, I hope you can forgive my impertinence, showing up here unannounced."
"Don't be coy," he narrows his eyes, "You're not sorry."
"You're right," you chuckle, swirling the paintbrush through the inky paint. "I'm not sorry to see you, especially like this." 
You rake your eyes over his flesh, barely concealed by a cloth wrapped around his waist. He is truly a fine specimen of a man. 
"May I?" You ask, stopping in front of him. 
He inclines his head. He hadn't been expecting this, since you seemed intent on avoiding the fights entirely. 
You begin by painting the smaller rectangles across his chest and then move to his back. Your brushstrokes are slow, methodic.
He anticipates each cool touch as you meticulously paint his flawless skin. He wishes it was your touch he was feeling, your hands against his skin. He craves it.
Next, you adorn his abdomen, barely concealing the excitement you feel being this close to him. As you finish, he reaches for his clothes but you stop him with a hand on his arm. 
"I'm not finished, my lord."
Intrigued, he returns his arm to his side, staring you down. 
You coat the palm of your right hand with the inky black liquid, never breaking eye contact with Feyd. He doesn't stop you as you press your hand against his warm chest, right where his heart would be. 
You start to pull away, but he is quick to grip your wrist, keeping you in place. For a second, you are concerned that you went too far. Maybe this is the day he kills you for your insolence?
Instead, he lunges forward, catching you in a hungry kiss. He bites and takes, and you surrender with ease. A sense of relief and excitement floods your senses as you kiss back just as passionately.  
"It is fitting," he says once he parts from you. 
He watches as you slowly peel your hand from his skin, leaving a perfect handprint over his heart. 
"What is?"
"That you should mark me like this," he grins to reveal blackened teeth. "You are a stain on my heart."
"How so?" You're still breathless, allured by his gravelly voice. 
"All it longs for is your touch, you vixen."
You caress his cheek, "I'm just marking what I own. And once you're declared the victor, you can come claim what's yours." 
Your words ignite a fire in him and he starts forward but you step back. 
His glare is venomous, as if you just deprived him of oxygen. 
"You have a fight to win, Feyd. Shouldn't you be preparing?"
Turning, you begin to walk away. 
A rough hand snatches your shoulder, and a hot mouth is on your neck before you can blink. He bites down harshly, drawing spots of blood. The pain is expected when dealing with a man like Feyd, but it is still surprising. 
You really have gotten under his skin. 
He releases the pressure of his teeth and drags his tongue over the wound. 
"You needed a mark too, my sweet."
You turn and press a chaste kiss to the top of his head, "Go make me proud, Feyd. I shall see you in your chambers after the fight."
He lets you leave, watching with blood stained lips. 
"As you command, so it shall be."
[please like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed!]
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amyispxnk · 5 months
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Grease and sweat
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Summary - Another day, another venture out of the walls of the Boston QZ with Joel Miller. AKA, another day spent fantasizing about the burly man whom you spend most of your time with these days. When the two of you have to hole up for the night, things get a little heated, and you finally snap.
A/N: i started this oneshot like 6 months ago and finally found some random motivation today to finish it. and im not gonna spoil anything but like.. why has noone talked about this in a fic before? im literally salivating when he does this during the game and like.. yeah. idk. you’ll see.
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Word count: 3.5k
Warnings: SMUT!! (oral f!receiving, unprotected PiV sex - don’t do this, especially during an apocalypse!, mentions of masturbation, lewd thoughts), language, age gap (roughly 15 years), firearms, pet names, fluff, aftercare
DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.
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“The fuck’re you lookin’ at, kid?” Joel practically spat, having noticed the way you were eyeing him whilst he worked.
You scoffed, walking up to the workbench he was currently using. Kid. You weren’t a kid. Sure, you were almost 15 years younger than him, but you certainly weren’t a kid.
“I’m 34, Joel. Not a kid.” You argued, leaning on the wall and watching him work.
He just grunted in response before resuming what he was doing before, starting with cleaning his pistol.
His fingers danced along the metal, digging into certain bits with the old rag he used to get any grime out, before he used the screwdriver to make a few adjustments to the handgun.
You never really understood how to do all the fancy things he did with his weapons, and you probably should considering how intently you watched him whenever the pair of you came across one of these old benches - but you couldn’t focus on the guns which were in his hands. His big, strong, rough hands. You’d trade places with those guns just to feel his hands on you like that. He took so much care of the damn things too, like they were the most precious things in his life. Always cleaning and repairing them like this, practically never letting you touch them.. What did those guns have that you didn’t? You thought to yourself as you watched him, gaze drifting to his fingers in particular. The ones you’d dreamt about far too many times, the ones you’d imagined inside of yourself rather than your own when you touched yourself. It was the way they moved, how thick they were, and how the veins in his hands and muscles flexed when he gripped his bow, and the way his arms would shine with his sweat as he worked. You’d lick the sweat off his body if he asked you to. Depraved as it sounds.
Not that you’d ever admit it.
Your absolutely maddening desire for and sickening crush on the man whom you knew close to nothing about. Just his name and a few things he revealed to you when the night was particularly long or the whisky he was having took a toll on his judgement, loosening him up for once. You knew where he was from, what his job was before, and you knew that he was basically just a grumpy old asshole who was only good for beating up guys when you went on supply runs.
He had never been overly kind to you, not that you needed it, had never asked you any questions, didn’t make small talk, and was a ruthless murderer.
You loved every single thing about him.
And you wanted to show him. You wanted him to love you back, no matter how he’d love you. You wouldn’t mind if he was a cold lover, a mean one - hell, he almost definitely was - you’d take him any way you could get him.
You looked back at his hands once more, subconsciously pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when he had to use his ring and middle fingers to clean out part of another gun, your thighs clenching together as you felt the all-too-familiar wetness start to form between them and making you groan when you realised you’d probably have to rub one out when you got back later. It was honestly annoying the amount of times you came by your own hand, his name on your lips, because you knew how much better it would feel if it was his thick fingers pushing into you, his big hands palming your breasts, his strong arms holding you down as he made you come over and over…
“Let’s get goin’.” He says suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts as he tucks his gun away and slings his backpack on.
You push yourself off of the wall and follow him quickly, trying not to look flustered although you very much felt it.
He came to an abrupt stop when you reached your normal exit from this little pitstop en route to the guys who gave you weapons, and you almost walked face-first into his back.
“Joel? Wha-” you began, but he cut you off.
“This shouldn’t be closed.” He murmurs, like he’s talking to himself, not allowing you any time to respond before he’s going over to pull the chain which should open the garage door.
It doesn’t.
No matter how much he pulls on the metal, grunting and groaning and making your eyes flutter shut whilst you force your needy whimpers down with the noises he’s making, it barely opens, slamming shut every time he gets close to getting it open a quarter of the way.
“Fuck.” He grits, giving up and slamming his hand against the thing. It would be no use trying with that door anymore, the noise it was making was getting too loud anyway.
He stands there, clearly thinking hard about what to do. You can’t turn back because that would just lead you straight back to the QZ, which was useless to you right now, but you don’t have any other secured ways to get to your vendors - how could he have been so stupid to not plan ahead, he ridicules himself silently.
“Joel? What’s the plan?” You ask, getting slightly impatient with his constant silence. He may have been this hot brooding older man, but he could really leave you in the dark sometimes like this.
“Will you let me think, goddamnit?” He responds, clearly annoyed with your current predicament, scratching at his jaw before looking back up at you.
“Could try that window.” You suggest quietly, looking upwards. It was high and small, but you’d be able to get through it if he gave you a boost up.
He gave you a small nod before you both made your way up there and he got into position, hands outstretched and placed together as you got on and pushed yourself up. Normally, whenever he did this, you’d feel all dizzy afterwards from the proximity and his touch - but as soon as you looked out the window you were horrified. There were infected, just past the jammed door - and a whole lot of them. You weren’t getting past that. Forget the deal, you’d come back another day.
“Joel.” You say, not even realising you were whispering. He doesn’t answer.
“Joel! Joel, get me down.” You whisper-shout, and he furrows his brows.
“Why? What’s the matter?” He asks, and you have to fight against the urge to roll your eyes.
“Just get me down.” You say through clenched teeth, taking another look outside the window before he carefully lowers you. Of course, he boosts you up regularly, but he rarely ever tries to get you back down, so you stumble a bit and end up with your face against his chest as he falls back onto the wall slightly.
“Jesus, woman!” He grunts, but you don’t even try to move, you just look up at him with those fucking doe eyes of yours and it takes everything in him to not groan at the sight of you. God knows how many times he’s imagined you looking up at him whilst you sucked his cock, knelt on the floor with tears in your eyes and your hair all messy for him with your big eyes staring into his.
You open your mouth to speak, before realising the position you’re in and quickly standing up.
“I- there were infected outside, Joel.” You explain after a moment.
“So?” He questions you, squinting in confusion slightly. You’ve taken down infected before, no problem. What’s the issue today?
“No, like- I swear it looked like there were a hundred of them. Just this big fucking horde, right outside the garage door.” You gestured back towards the exit.
He clenched his jaw. Yeah, okay, you could take down some infected, not a hundred.
“Y’sure?”
“I’m fucking sure, Joel!” You almost yelled, way too many emotions going on in your body for you to act normal right now.
“Alright, alright, calm down.” He looked back outside. It was almost dark, there was no way you could get back to Boston in time now. It just wasn’t safe to go that far so late, and there was no point since you’d have to sneak by all the guards - who hopefully wouldn’t notice if you were gone for one night - to get back in.
“Go check all the doors, lock ‘em and then barricade ‘em. We’re gonna have to hold up here for tonight, then go back at dawn.” He decides, and you gape at him like a fish.
“We’re staying here?! Joel, what about curfew and the- the fucking infected right outside-” you start, but he silences you once again.
“We’re gonna be fine. When have things ever gone wrong for us since you started comin’ out with me?” He questions sternly, and you ponder it.
Never, really. He always saved you, and you’d save him when he needed it - even though it was only a handful of times he did.
“‘Kay, fine. Whatever.” You mumble stubbornly before turning round to go secure the doors leading to the small mechanic store you’d be staying in.
He looks around himself for any openings and closes them up before you both end up back in the main room.
It’s mostly silent as you look around at different things, poking at the ruined cars and whatnot whilst he sits on a crate and watches you as discreetly as possible.
“I have a question.” You say, turning to face him and making him snap his head away from you before you notice he was looking at you already.
He grunts to tell you to continue speaking, looking back at you when you do.
“Could you like.. show me how to fix up my guns and stuff? ‘Cause you always do it for me and I just thought it was.. Cool.” you murmur, trailing off at the end.
He actually lets out a small laugh at that. Not in a mean way, necessarily, just kind of teasingly.
“Cool?” He repeats with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah, cool. It just- with all the attachments and shit. And I can never clean them properly.” You sigh, walking up closer to him. “Please? We’ve got nothing else to do.”
The sound of you saying please for him in that small voice wins him over. “Fine.” He gets up off the crate, walking back over to the workbench and flicking the light on before taking your gun from you. He talks you through it, shows you a little how to clean it before letting you try it yourself, and then he shows you how to add a scope to it. You can’t quite grasp it though, not being strong and precise enough to attach it properly, so he places his hands on top of yours and helps you screw it on.
The contact makes you shudder so violently that he definitely felt it, and you want to crumple into the ground.
“What was that for?” He murmurs, and you almost jump at how close he is now, voice loud and breath hot on the side of your face as he leans over your shoulder to look at the gun whilst he tries to help you.
“No-nothing.” You squeak, breathing at least ten times faster now.
He feels it. He knows. He has to know, you’d been so stupid and revealed it all now. Joel Miller was not an idiot and he knew how you felt and he’d hate you for it. Your thoughts spiralled.
“Nothin’, huh?” He taunts, a smirk pulling at his lips as he watches you slowly crumble. To make it worse, he turns you in his hold, so you’re pinned with your back to the desk and his hands on either side of you.
“Y’alright, darlin’? You look awfully hot. Don’t got a fever or nothin’?” He mumbles, seeing how far he can push you as he leans in closer.
“I-I’m fine.” You say quietly, mesmerised by the sight of his face so close as you notice little details you’d never noticed before, barely even realising his lips are so close to your own until he’s pressing them to yours.
You make a slight noise of surprise before you get lost in it. The feeling of his lips against yours was something you’d dreamed about for so long, and now it was finally happening.
Your hands come up and around his neck, pulling him closer towards you as he deepens the kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth and overpowering you immediately as he pushes you back onto the workbench, sitting you on top of it and already working open the buttons of your jeans.
He kisses you one more time before getting to his knees and pulling your pants completely off, eyeing your panties, a dark patch in the middle of them from your growing arousal.
“Joel, please.” You whimper from above him as his hands run up your legs, coming to your inner thighs before toying with the elastic of your panties.
“Y’need me here, darlin’?” He asks, smirking up at you as his fingers move to rub slow circles into your clit through the fabric.
“Fuck!” You gasp at the contact, needy and desperate for him by this point. “Yes, please- please Joel.” You’re reduced to begging already, something you figure only he had the power to make you do.
He shushes you gently, fingers slowly peeling your panties down and groaning at the sight of your bare cunt, dripping and pulsing with need.
“Fuck, baby. Such a pretty pussy, so fuckin’ wet. This all for me?” He hums, dragging a finger up and down your slit, gathering your wetness on it and sucking it into his mouth as he looks up at you.
You whine at the sight of him between your legs like this, not knowing how you’re going to survive when he actually makes contact with you, and nod furiously.
“Yes, oh my god. Yes, it’s all for you Joel.” You say quickly, and he seems satisfied with that answer, finally moving his face to your core and making you squirm as his hot breath fans over your pussy.
“Stop fuckin’ movin’.” He murmurs, seemingly enraptured by the sight of you, staring for a few seconds and making you want to shift away again under his intense gaze, but he has an arm on you to make sure you don’t move.
And then he finally, finally, licks a long stripe up your pussy, tongue running along your wet folds. And you fucking lose it.
“Oh my god, Joel, please. Fuck- fuck, please, more-” you start begging, moaning loudly as he picks up the pace and continues to devour you, drinking down your wetness, and eventually kissing and sucking at your clit. His fingers, those thick gorgeous fingers you’d dreamed of for so long, tease your entrance before he’s pushing those inside, making you wail at the feeling of something inside of you, getting you closer to that release you were aching for by this point.
“Fuck, yes!” You cry out, thighs shaking slightly as you feel yourself getting close.
“That’s right, baby. You like that?” He asks, voice an octave lower as he pumps his fingers in and out of your tight heat, tongue still working you over relentlessly.
“Please- it feels so good-” you whine in response, fingers grasping for something to hold onto, to tether yourself to earth with as you feel yourself start to float away. Finding his hair and tugging slightly which makes him groan.
“Good girl.” He praises, adding another finger. He curls his fingers, searching for your g-spot and finding it easily.
You moan weakly at the praise, hips bucking as you grind yourself against his mouth, the ridge of his nose stimulating your clit perfectly as your fingers pull at his hair, and before you know it, you’re coming with a hoarse scream of his name.
You see white as your thighs quiver around his head, tensing and squeezing slightly as he continues to work you through it, lapping at your juices until you cry out from the overstimulation.
He removes his fingers from your hole, licking them clean once more before standing up and removing his own clothes, revealing his hard cock and making your eyes widen slightly.
Of course he was big, you’d stared at the bulge of his jeans enough times to realise that, and you’d imagined it before, but it all paled in comparison to finally seeing it.
He was long, slightly curved, girthy with a flushed red tip which had precome leaking out of it as he pumped himself slowly with a smirk on his face.
“Cat got your tongue, pretty girl?” He hums teasingly, and you can’t even think straight anymore, just pulling him forward and kissing him hungrily as he positioned his cock at your slick entrance.
Needy little whines and whimpers flowed freely from your mouth straight into his, where he swallowed them whole before starting to push into you.
You part from the kiss suddenly, gasping as he pushes deeper and deeper, stretching you thoroughly, and you feel grateful that he has the decency to start off slow since you already feel like crying from how big he is, how fucking good it feels.
When he bottoms out, you’re already wrecked. He’s huge inside of you, and you can feel everything. Every single ridge, vein, and twitch of his pulsing cock as your walls hug him tightly.
“Y’okay?” He murmurs softly, making your heart swell at how tender he sounds right now, and you nod in response.
“Joel.. please move.” You whisper, and he complies, grabbing your hips and barely giving you a moment to think before he’s starting to pound into you, making you squeal as your arms came around his neck, nails digging into his back before his head ducks down into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking at your pulse point and making you clench harder around him, before moving down to your breasts, palming them and taking one of your nipples into his mouth as you scream his name.
“Joel! I’m gonna- gonna come- oh god, please!” You cry out, back arching. He growls, picking up the pace. He could feel his orgasm building, but he needed you to come first, needed to feel your tight walls clenching and gushing around him before he even considered his own pleasure.
“Come on, baby. Give me one more and I’ll fill you up. Fuck this little cunt full of me.. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He says, voice low and husky as his balls slap against your ass, the loud sound of your wetness filling the room as you start to tremble once more.
“Yes! Fuck, Joel. Need it so bad. Want your come inside of me. Please, Joel.” You gasp, making him groan as his fingers move down to rub at your clit.
“Come for me, baby.” He encourages, speeding up even more and hitting that spot inside of you that makes you see stars, making you scream as you come and dissolve into a shaking, whimpering mess whilst he continues to thrust into you.
“That’s it, darlin’. Come all over my cock.” He grunts, his own release approaching quickly. The sounds of your moans and cries are enough to set him off, barely thrusting a few more times before stilling and filling you with his hot seed, slowly fucking it even deeper inside of you before pulling out and looking at you.
Skin flushed, panting heavily, come leaking down your thighs. You looked perfect. He wished that cameras were still around so he could take a picture of how you looked right now, keep it in his pocket wherever he went. But he couldn’t, and he realised you probably needed cleaning up now as your hazy eyes blinked open and looked at him. You were quiet, thinking about what this meant for the two of you now. Would he go back to being the cold man you knew? Would he be even colder? Would he suddenly be attentive and caring towards you?
You supposed you got your answer when he gently cupped your face, thumb stroking your cheek as he looked at you with something scarily close to love in his eyes, the gaze he’d somehow managed to conceal from you all these months which he could now finally show you.
“You okay?” He murmurs, and you nod weakly in response. He hums, giving you another small kiss before walking off to go get a rag to clean you up with.
“Hold on, let me just..” he mumbles to himself as he goes to try clean off any dust from the rag, before returning to between your thighs and cleaning away any evidence of your previous activities, tossing the rag somewhere and handing you your clothes. You get dressed quietly before he takes your hand and leads you over to a space on the floor where you set up your sleeping bags, putting them as close together as possible until he eventually just lets you tuck yourself into his, wrapping his strong arms around you from behind and falling asleep.
You listen to his soft snores, feel his calloused hands on your stomach where they snaked under your shirt before he fell asleep, and smile to yourself softly before falling asleep with him.
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Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated and my requests are open 💞
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benjinotes · 3 months
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𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 - chapter I
previous -> next
(daella targaryen x benjicot blackwood)
don’t translate.
The sound of music mixed with loud laughter reached Benjicot's ears, but he seemed strangely annoyed with his surroundings.
Seated at one of the wooden tables in the main hall of his family's small fortress, he observed the reinforcements with a distant gaze, too bored to even hear the conversation of his friends and guests around him.
The torches along the walls were the only thing that illuminated those cold, dark walls, and strangely enough, the extreme intensity of the fire that surrounded them was the only thing that kept him in a better mood. With his index finger, Benjicot began to trace some patterns on the dark wooden table with his fingers, trying to ignore the sound that was in the place and instead listen to the storm that was outside.
He knew what that rain meant; the gods were angry, and deep down, he wanted to know who was stupid enough to anger them in such a way.
When he was still a little boy, Benjicot used to hear his mother tell him that every time a young soul dies, heaven weeps and welcomes him with open arms, and for a long time, he wanted to believe it. However, he ended up adopting the more rational version that his faith allowed him to have and that his father taught him: divine things don't cry, divine things punish.
The first mortal blow he dealt someone was also on a rainy day like this. He was still able to remember the raindrops that ran down his fingers, mixed with the blood of the first man he had killed, and how the sky seemed to thunder when he delivered the first blow to the enemy soldier's stomach. It was sickening; he knew that, but for some reason, he enjoyed the feeling of the gods' punishment mixed with the blood he himself had spilled. He was a hypocrite.
Benjicot was not stupid; he knew that many people were afraid of him. After all, there were rumors that he was a bloodthirsty psychopath and countless other slanders that he refused to listen to. But honestly, he didn't care about any of that. The battlefield was the only place where he truly felt himself. The chaos and danger, the clash of steel, and the screams of the dying—all of it made him feel strangely exultant. It was ironic, almost paradoxical, that the thing that made him feel most alive was being so intimately familiar with death.
But the guilt never consumed him, because he always knew he was fighting for the right side.
"Are the rumors true?" One of his friends suddenly asked, causing Benji to quickly look up questioningly, waiting for him to continue. "Rumor has it that you are going to marry Princess Daella Velaryon, the daughter of the rightful queen." The black-skinned man, Helion, spoke in a whisper as he watched the conversation at the table gradually die down to eavesdrop on the small interaction.
At the sudden question, Benjicot licked the inside of his cheek in a brusque manner and slammed his fist on the dark wooden table, causing some of his companions to jump at the sudden noise. He could have sworn that his aunt was giving him a scolding look at that moment, but honestly, he had already lost all the good humor he had, and dealing with Alysanne's "lectures" at that moment wasn't going to help anything.
The truth was, he wasn't upset by the question, but rather by the lack of answers he had to offer. The raven had left two days ago; however, the answer had not yet returned to Blackwood Fortress, which made him anxious and irritated about the possibilities he was not sure he possessed.
Of course, he knew that what he had asked the queen was too much. Someone like him didn't deserve to marry Rhaenyra Targaryen's only daughter, and he knew he was at least crazy enough to make such a request to the queen. However, the possibility of angering the Brackens with someone from royalty made him ecstatic and almost satisfied, and he knew he had to take the risk before someone else did.
"I still don't know." He replied sincerely, leaning back a little and resting his arm on the back of the chair next to him. "My father sent the proposal to the queen two days ago, but unfortunately, we still haven't received a response." angry, and the table erupted in laughter that almost made him hit the table again, if someone hadn't interrupted him first.
"Are you angry because the queen didn't answer you in two days?" One of his table companions laughed loudly, and Benjicot grimaced when he saw wine run down the man's beard. "Do you really think that with the coming war she has time for that?" The man asked mockingly, and Benji had to control himself not to rub his face on the stone floor.
"Besides, the journey to Dragonstone is considerably long." One of the other men said this as he massaged his full belly, and Benji sighed in defeat as he realized that the man was probably right.
He hated it when old men were correct.
"But let me ask you something, is she pretty?" A man asked curiously, and the lord's son gradually became irritated by the question, especially when he saw the other men at the table leaning forward waiting for an answer, an answer he didn't have.
Benjicot had heard rumors of the beauty of Rhaenyra Targaryen's only daughter, but although he felt inclined to believe it, part of him didn't want to. After all, he didn't like most of the rumors that the winds whispered about him, so he didn't want to believe them. the ones they made about his possible future wife, even if they were good.
Furthermore, he was almost certain that she was beautiful; after all, according to his logic, all princesses were beautiful, all dragons were scary, and all Brackens were idiots. He trusted this assessment almost completely.
"Of course she's beautiful, you idiot! She's a princess!" replied Helion loudly while wiping the grease from his fingers on his clothes, making Benji laugh loudly at the man's inappropriate behavior. One of the things I most appreciated about that soldier was the fact that they both always shared the same opinion.
With the insult hurled, the other man began shouting obscenities in response, triggering a loud and chaotic exchange of insults across the table and causing the rest of the men in the room to whistle and enjoy the fight. Benjicot, in turn, gave a short laugh before turning to the table where his father and uncles were sitting, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw one of the fortress servants handing an envelope into his father's hands.
He frowned when he saw his father smile as he opened the letter, and for some reason, his heart seemed to beat faster, which made him lean on the wooden chair and debate whether he should go to his family table.
However, before Benji even had time to react, Samwell Blackwood stood up and slammed his hand on the table so hard that his wrist turned red, and in an instant, the noisy room assumed an unusual silence.
Everyone had their heads held high as they watched the lord with the letter in his hand, and when his smile widened, whispers were heard around the hall. "I have great news!" The lord spoke loudly, raising a glass of wine in his hand, and Benjicot could see his aunt from afar, trying to hide a smile. "My son, Benjicot Blackwood, is now betrothed to Princess Daella Velaryon of House Targryen!" The man shouted, and the room erupted in applause.
The lord's son could feel the pat that the other men were giving him on the back; however, he didn't care about the pain or the congratulations that came his way; his head was blank, and he could hardly believe that he was engaged—even more engaged to a princess. He was sure he was going to vomit at any moment, and the pats on his upper back were indicating that he should do so.
"And!" Samwell shouted once more, and the hall fell silent as they waited for further news. "Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen has requested our presence in two weeks!" The lord celebrated, and once again, the hall exploded with screams and whistles.
This time, Benjicot found himself swept up in the moment, though whether his scream was out of excitement or nervousness, he couldn't quite tell.
𝟓 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞. 📍
The comforting warmth of the hot water in the bathtub enveloped Daella's body like a warm hug, while the soft light from the candles in the room delicately illuminated her face, where tears glistened and her cheeks displayed a subtle blush, yet she remained there, immersed in the quietness of the place, and stuck in her thoughts as she fought not to start sobbing.
Even though five days had passed since the raven brought the news, Lucery's death still haunted her. She could barely find an appetite or sleep, and she was almost certain that this bath was the first one she had taken since receiving that news, and she was only taking it because she was forced by Baela to do so.
She could feel her cousin's slender fingers through her hair, giving her a massage that almost made her feel comfortable enough to let some of the sobs that were stuck in her throat escape, but nevertheless she decided to remain silent, having no energy for another breakdown.
Many of the candles that had previously illuminated the space were now extinguished, leaving the place gradually enveloped in shadows. With each passing minute, the room seemed to sink a little more into darkness, creating a heavy and unsettling atmosphere. This caused Daella to make a sudden movement forward, as if trying to escape the darkness that was thickening around her. The sudden gesture immediately captured her cousin's attention, who watched her with a look of deep questioning in her eyes.
"What's wrong? Have I hurt you?" Baela inquired worriedly, picking up a sponge she had beside her stool, concern still visible on her beautiful face. "Cousin?" The girl called her, concerned; yet, Daella only sighed and gently returned to her area in the water.
"I'm sorry, I'm just..." Daella began, but the words caught in her throat, causing her to bite her lip before she began to speak. "Do you think it was dark when Luke died?" She asked suddenly, and the other girl gave a sad sigh, the concern from earlier turning into understanding, but before she could even respond, Daella placed her chin on her knees and began to speak.
"He didn't like the dark." She began, and Baela could hear the tree in her cousin's voice, and she quickly got up from her stool to sit on the floor next to the bathtub, ignoring the water there. "Luke was afraid of the dark; I don't want to think about the fact that he could have died in the dark, alone and scared." The princess admitted it, and Baela gave a shaky sigh as she placed a comforting hand on her bare shoulder.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought that up." Daella spoke in a sigh, and this time she could help but let out a strangled sob, which made her cousin move even closer to her.
"You don't have to apologize to me, cousin." Baela began, her voice bringing some comfort to the Velaryon girl, who looked at her with red eyes. "You're grieving." She finished softly, and the Velaryon gave a dry laugh.
"You're grieving too." Daella replied, her voice unexpectedly harsh, and cursed herself immediately for the unintended edge in her tone. Surprisingly, the other girl seemed unfazed by it.
"Yes, I am." Baela admitted, biting the inside of her cheek hard and ignoring the almost regretful look the other girl was throwing her way. "But not as much as you; after all, it was your brother, and I can't even imagine the state I would be in if Rhaena died." She admitted it, and the other girl looked at her gratefully.
"But you can be sure of one thing." She spoke in a joking tone, which made Daella look at her with an eyebrow. "I would at least take a shower." She finished and laughed loudly when she saw the face Daella was making.
"You are so funny." The Velaryon said sarcastically as she threw a few drops of water in the face of Baela, who was trying to keep the composter while moving back to the bench amidst laughter, and the princess couldn't help but smile when she heard the outrageous laughter.
"I know, I know, I'm hilarious, but now seriously, let's wash you!" Baela managed to say it through laughter while squeezing out a mouthful of foam from the sponge.
"Why are you the one washing me, and not one of the maids?" Velaryon inquired curiously, and her cousin arched an eyebrow.
"Because they obeyed you when you said no, and also because you wouldn't come if you weren't dragged." Baela said, however, that her voice didn't have any hint of joke or mockery; she was genuinely worried for the simple fact that Daella was in such bad shape that she didn't have the strength to do basic things like that. "And besides, your fiancé arrives here in 2 days." Baela spoke in an obvious tone, and Daella turned around in a sharp tone, wetting the other girl once again.
That really caught her attention, and she couldn't help but bite her lip in nervousness upon hearing those words. Her betrothed, a man she had never seen in her life, was coming for a visit, and she didn't know what to do.
Daella wasn't stupid, she knew the rumors that were circulating about her future husband, and as much as she wanted to admit it, she felt a little afraid of him, for others he was a bloodthirsty idiot who only felt good in the world. battlefield, it was dirty and rough and noisy, and even though she wasn't a big fan of rumors, she couldn't stop questioning whether it was actually true.
Deep down, a part of her screamed that if it were true, her mother had never accepted the proposal, and whether she wanted to or not, she was holding on to the hope that this was real.
"That was actually the same reaction I had when I found out you were getting married." Baela tried to calm the situation, gently taking the other girl's arm to wash it. "Wait until Jace discovers this fact too!" She giggled, and the Velaryon girl wrinkled her nose as she imagined the mockery she would suffer from her twin brother.
Lucerys would probably mock her too if he were there.
"In two days?! No one had told me he was even coming!" Daella sighed loudly.
"I just know he's coming because I heard my father talking to our grandmother." Baela said softly as she rinsed her cousin's hair. "I don't even know if I was supposed to know that."
"But the queen isn't here; how can he come and talk about business if my mother left a few days ago and hasn't returned yet?" Daella questioned. She knew Rhaenyra needed time alone, but she couldn't help but worry about the hours her mother had already spent outside Dragonstone.
"Well, I guess that's not a problem anymore." Baela whispered under her breath, her ears catching Syrax's distant roar echoing outside the fortress. Hastily, she scrambled to fetch a towel, handing it over to the other girl who was now craning her neck to peer through the small window, hoping to catch a glimpse of the capricious dragon.
A sudden knock on the door made both girls startle, but their tension dissolved as they recognized Rhaena's familiar voice. She entered, carrying clothes in her arms and scanning the room for her sister and cousin.
"Come on."She urged gently. "The queen is probably waiting for us."
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wattpad link.
english is not my first language, so pls be understanding.
tags: @marytvirgin @aelora-a @maidr-00
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mooishbeam · 18 hours
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『♡』 Country Honey
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 ♡ featuring: ranchhand!toji x richgirl!reader
 ♡ synopsis: a spoiled, wealthy college senior is forced to spend her summer at her father’s rural farm as punishment for her reckless behavior and slipping academic performance. unbeknownst to her, a bigger storm awaits just around the corner.
 ♡ wc: 16.5k+ (AHHHHHH)
 ♡ cw/tw: afab!reader, enemies to lovers if you squint, hurt/comfort kinda sad toji, feral toji, spanking, overstimulation, edging, sadism/masochism, throat fucking, cock worship, m/f receiving, doggy style, degradation kink, brat taming, dumbification, reader is a spoiled brat a lot of the time
notes: oh god, where do i begin...i know ive been gone for so long. firstly i want to apologize, and secondly ill explain my absence in a second post. not proofread so i apologize, honestly i shouldnt have tried a long fic for my comeback bc it took way too long to finish, but either way i hope you all enjoy! art by moonlessoul on ig! comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡
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“Almost there.” 
The sleek luxury car your dad drives grumbles at a rocky pace over an evidently gravelly road. If you can even call it a road—rather the patchy fragments of flattened dirt eroded by heavy traffic from a forgotten time. It’s a path shrouded by southern live oak, canopying its leaves and spearing sharp rays of summer daylight through the sunroof.  
You’re feeling every second of this bumpy ride. The wheels hop over an unsteady rock and your knees jab into your sternum. You’re pressed into an unfortunate position, with your legs pinched to your chest and the bright pink suitcase you insisted on bringing sandwiching you to the leather seat. You struggle to wiggle to a decent side that spares your sweltering face from the sun, but the other seats are also occupied with your luggage. And the front seat. And the trunk. 
Maybe that’s why you were brought here in the first place. You’re well off to a sickening amount and you’ve made no efforts to conceal your wealth. Your dad sacrificed his golden years to foster an agricultural business in the rural south, and now you reap the rewards of his labor. You know it and spend it as such. You’ve collected a textbook of names throughout the years—spoiled, bratty, coddled, pompous—each insult savored more than the last. You embraced being a spoiled rich girl and all it had to offer. Top notch schools, waitlisted parties, designer bags, and just about any opportunity you could get your greedy hands on.  
High school left like the wind and before you knew it, the 4.0 extracurricular weapon you used to be devolved into a nightlife college senior, more invested in the extravagant yacht parties than your academic probation. It was a risky misstep, but you didn’t have the heart to care when your dad could easily pay your way to graduation. At this rate you’d be a couple years behind your peers. Your dad wasn’t having any of it. 
The festivities stopped. No unlimited debit card and especially no spending. This could possibly be your final senior summer, and instead of celebrating with friends you’re making up for your transgressions. The worst part is the rural retreat he’s currently driving you to with no sign of civilization for miles.  
You could die right now. 
“How much longer?” You drawl on the last syllable, flicking your phone on and off in hopes that a bar or two will magically appear in the top right. He glances at you through the rearview mirror, a tinge of southern, "Just a few more minutes.”  
You let you phone fall from your limp hand and lean your head against the open window. Nothing but ancient trees and the occasional berry bush. You’re not sure if you should be more upset by the consequences of your actions or the actual actions that roped you into this mess. Instead of ruminating on your mistakes, you allow your eyelids to droop in the oppressive warmth. 
“We’re here darling.” Your eyes shoot open. So soon, and surely not after the forest you’d been traversing moments ago. You’re able to scoot up more, the sound of stone-pathed roads rattling in your ears. You tuck your knees underneath you and lift yourself up now that the terrain was smoother, poking your torso out the window. A bane of light strikes you immediately, and you blink away its brilliance to reveal crystal blue skies. 
Your mouth shapes an ‘O’, and you push your designer glasses over your forehead. “...No way” you gawk, taken by the view your father cultivated. 
This is nothing like the previous tunnel, and certainly nothing like the skyscrapers you’ve grown accustomed to. It’s an endless expanse disrupted by stone and crowded with overgrown wheat, bobbing in the mild breeze. They travel up the winding hill, ducking under wooden fences to border the farmhouse. The two-story ivory home exudes simplicity, strung with hanging pothos that wrap around the spacious porch and decorative shuttered windows painted like strawberries. From your limited view you notice the large red wooden barn peeking out behind the house, and a dirt trail leading to productive areas; a small stable, cattle, and other farm animals coexist in a sector made for their comfort. Beside the home is the largest Magnolia tree you’ve ever seen, with branches extending over the pitched, fabled roof and overhanging eaves with sweeping petals. It’s purposefully overgrown and homely, a humble size incomparable to the mansion you were raised in. 
Your father pulls up to the oak gate with a tattered sign overhead: Welcome to Pleasantview Farms.  
The lack of security, never mind the lack of extravagance, is astonishing to you. It’s unexpected of your father—the man that required you have a designated butler all throughout secondary school. “You never told me about all this” you yell from outside the window, still gazing at distant rolling hills of dewy grass. “You never asked” he chuckles, and turns onto another hill leading up to the house. You look beneath you; patches of flowering weeds fighting their way past the pavement. 
He parks in an open plot half occupied by a wheelbarrow, packed to the brim with haybales. “We’re here.” He turns the car off and steps out to open your side. Your luggage slams onto the dirt before you do, and you yelp.  
“No, it’s gonna get dirty!” He laughs and brushes specs of soil off your precious bag. “And if it does, you’ll be alright pumpkin.” You groan and attempt to get out without sacrificing your hot pink slides, when your first foot gives into silt. You scream and stumble onto dry earth, leaving your phone behind to *splat* in the mud. You kick off the mud barely clinging to your shoes until you catch a glimpse of your glittery phone charm on the floor. It takes you a second to process the mud-covered device slowly descending, but when your brain synapses finally link, you expel an ear-shattering shriek. To which your dad stifles a smile at the dramatic performance. 
He picks it up and wipes the debris on his ivory shirt. “One more reason for you not to have it” he says and tucks it away in his pocket while you’re struck with a permanent look of horror. 
The front door swings open, and you turn to see a thin older woman. Slightly older than your father, her face is gentle and creased with living. Her hair fades from light gray to dark brown at the very tips, tied neatly into a bun with a coiled band. She removes her pale-yellow gloves and stuffs them into the back pocket of her bleached trousers, jogging up to you. “Good afternoon, Annie” he smiles, and she stretches a wide grin that nearly shuts her eyes. “Hello, sir. Is everything alright?”  
“Yup, just kids being kids” he snickers and plants both hands on either side of your shoulders. “This is my daughter.” 
“Good afternoon” you meek, devastated and contemplating the status of your phone. She audibly gasps and grabs your hands, and you jolt. “You’re even more beautiful in person. I’ve heard so much about you.” It’s like she’s studying your face with the way she gazes into your eyes, to which they fall onto your cheeks and hair. You’re not one to shy away from flattery, but the direct compliments spread embarrassment across your ears. 
“Keep her company while I get these from the car, will you? Maybe show her around.” She nods, and leads you on an impromptu tour through the house.  
“There isn’t much to see ‘round here, but I’ll try to make it interestin’ for ya” she jokes. The entryway is quaint, keeping nothing but rubber boots covered in dirt and farming tools used for today’s workload. “This where we keep what we need for today. S’just better to pick it up from the front.” You nod.  
Further in, the hallways are decorated with baby pictures of you at various photoshoots. On the left side, she shows you a pastel green kitchen embellished with colorful floral paintings above the handles. Annie talks with her hands, “This is my domain. Damn near painted the whole thing. Took a lot of convincin’, but I got it eventually.”  
“Do you live here?” you questioned. “We all do!”  
“All?” 
“Mhm”, she hums, “Me, Terrace, Lionel, and...” she trails off at the end. You’re surprised that they’re living where they work, and even more surprised that she’s all smiles while doing it. “Do you...like living here?” 
“Of course! Pays well, lots'a vacation time, and everything’s compensated.” You tilt your head slightly, “Where do you guys' sleep?” 
“We got our own place out back, all of us. Sweet deal, huh?” she says, patting your back. “And who was the other person that works here?” you ask. 
Annie waves off the idea, stating “You don’t have to worry ‘bout him, he’s not really the talkin’ type.” 
Perhaps it was her bluntness or her motherly cadence, but you quickly became comfortable with her presence dragging you around like a lost puppy. She showed you the living room that appeared to be vomited on by all things antique and vintage, and the bathroom tiled an ugly orange pattern. She led you outside, where a garden blossoming with peonies and hibiscus was trimmed carefully to adorn the pebbled path and fit around the barn. Far-out past the back gate you saw what you assumed was their living quarters, separated from miles of tillage. 
By the time she finished her grand tour, you made it upstairs together to regroup with your dad. The second floor was reserved for your bedrooms and attached bathrooms. Entering your room, there’s nothing special about it. It seems like your dad attempted to buy things similar to your style, but couldn’t quite figure it out. You weren’t expecting much of anything considering this was your first—and most likely last—time being here, but it’s truly mediocre. “Whaddaya think pumpkin?”  
“I love it” you choke out a lie and plop onto the red plaid bedding. Your luggage is lined up by the dresser, and you have quite the unpacking session awaiting you. Annie leans on the doorway. “I’ll let ya get settled in. We can do more in the morning.” Your dad leaves with her, and when you’re left alone stewing in the reality, you fall back onto the comforter. 
One day is entertaining, you’d even call it an enjoyable experience. But the entire summer? You spend the rest of the day emptying out suitcase after suitcase, and turn in under the heavy blankets starving off a midnight chill. 
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You’re up before the crack of dawn, contemplating what you’ll wear as if that matters while you’re shoveling shit and carrying chicken feed. You throw on something impractical either way—a plaid button up tied to crop, tight denim shorts, and a brand new pair of shiny cowboy boots you just couldn’t resist buying when the trip was announced. You stomp your way to the back porch and are immediately hit with the bittersweet scent of humid pastures and last night’s rain within the tepid wind. It’s utterly quiet besides the distant echo of cattle and pigs, cicadas humming an airy tune. Your eyes latch onto the barn, slightly parted with a dim light going on the inside.  
You recall what Annie said to you during the tour when you asked what’s in the barn: “I suggest you leave it alone, nothin’ worth lookin’ at in there.” Her clear avoidance intrigued you, and the more she dodges actual answers the more curious you become. You tread carefully on the path so you don’t alert whoever or whatever’s inside. As you plant one weightless foot over the other, you stop.  
A deep, gritty voice; thick like the bark of an ancient redwood. He grunts then *chop*, followed by something solid rolling on a prickly surface. Another thick groan and another *chop*. You get closer to the barn and slide across it, practically dragging yourself against Annie’s wishes.  
*Chop* 
You clutch the side of the parted door. 
*Chop* 
You peak your head in. The two story barn houses an array of soils and tools used for farming on the bottom, and clumps of hay piled high at the top. 
The older man with a mop of inky hair hangs his head low, honed in on the objective beneath him. The sharp end of the axe steadies above his head, then cuts through the air as it lands deep within the stump. He goes for another swing, beads of sweat meandering between his pecs, down the carved muscle of his abdominal and disappearing below his chiseled v-line. He digs his thick calloused fingers into the crevice and splits it. It’s as if his physique was crafted by careful hands, weaving marble like silk only Roman gods could mimic. 
Your entirely distracted by the unexpected scene before you when the silence is cut by a clatter. His breaths are sharp and purposeful as he kicks it off the stand and trudges to the uncut pile of logs. You watch him with wandering eyes, taking mental notes of scars hiding underneath the fine hair spread across his torso. This isn’t the grumpy old man you imagined when Annie spoke so brazenly about him. 
He hasn’t glanced at you once, despite standing right in front of the post he’s chopping on. It’s slightly aggravating. You’ve never had to ask for anyone’s attention before. You bathed in wealth, just enough to make even the snobbiest trust-fund kid turn his head. He must be blind. So, you wait until he comes to his senses, tapping your foot with your arms crossed over your chest.   
And you do that...for a while. More than a few minutes pass, and you’re still standing here. You stir in the silence and methodical chopping, feeling flustered at how needy you look waiting for a man's response. A piece of wood—more important than you? Impossible. In a last-ditch attempt, you clear your throat rather dramatically. Nothing. A log rolls by your foot and the older man walks up to you only to kneel down and grab the wood before going back to his task. Heat creeps onto your cheeks. Are you fucking kidding me?  
“Are you hard of hearing, mister?” you finally ask, batting your eyelashes at him. It’s a deep contrast to the irritation boiling in your stomach, so much so you have to choke back the vulgar words bubbling at the surface.  He glimpses you with frosted olive eyes and swings the axe over his head. In a mild country accent he replies, “No.”  
“...Oh.” You’re struck with palpable quiet once again. You’re fixed to the floor, struggling with something to say that doesn’t start with ‘fuck you’. As you’re about to open your mouth, he speaks.  
“Heard ya the first time.  If ya wanna talk, use your words.” You stare in utter disbelief. Was it audacity or straight stupidity? You can’t imagine anyone disrespecting their employer’s child, let alone commanding them.   
“Excuse me?” He tosses the last log in the pile.  
“Hm? Should I do it in a way you’ll understand?” he brings his fist to his lips, clearing his throat as you did.  There’s a glint through that frost, the twinkle of an obvious shit-stirrer. You’re pissed no doubt, but the corner of your lip twitches at a challenge. 
The most important tool to a wealthy family is humility. You can’t be too self-centered or prideful to strangers, dropping hints of sugary kindness as to not sour your perception. Perception is truly everything. Even so, the flowered words you’ve been taught to wield with grace wilt at the sight of him. 
“Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, huh?” You scoff, plopping down on the stump. He wipes his dirt-dusted hands on the back of his overalls, straps dangling at his thighs. “Not sure what ya mean.” 
“From what I’m getting, you’re a grumpy asshole. That description sound correct?” 
“‘M only an ass when trust-fund kids call me like I'm a dog.” 
“You know, the way Annie talks about you I thought you’d be some geriatric old man on his death bed! Turns out you’ve still got a couple more months in you—congrats!” 
He laughs, “‘Preciate it. If I’m correct you must be papa’s spoiled little brat from the big city?” 
“Mhm. Don’t worry, this was your first offense so I’ll let it slide. Remember to get on your knees when you apologize.” He pretends to ponder the idea, “Think I’ll pass. You can pick up one ‘o them bags up though and bring ‘er up to the field.” 
You pause for a second, blinking. Instantly you double over with snorting laughter, the kind that tints your face and gathers tears at your lashes. You’re even clutching your stomach from how funny it is. When you come up from your fit, he’s there with his arms crossed under his chest. That’s when you realize he wasn’t joking by any means. You gape in disbelief, a chuckle still caught in your throat. 
“Wait…you’re serious?” He walks over to one of the sacks and tosses it at your feet. “Well, get to work. I’ll show ya where to put it.” You purse your lips when a giggle slips, “Do you really think that’s gonna happen? Must be the age catching up with your brain.” 
“I think it is gonna happen cause yer in my area. If you wanna be here, you’re gonna work. Nothin’s free ‘round these parts.” You hop off the stump and stand in front of him. Unfortunately, your attempt to size him up fails as your crane your neck to meet his gaze. “You can’t make me do anything. In fact, this is my property, and you’re here to do your job. So go do it” you terse. 
“Nah, that’s not how this works. You’re on the farm now, not some bullshit country club you go to on weekends. Take yer ass to that bag and pick it up.” 
You feign a pout, “Isn’t a pretty girl in your presence enough hard work already?” 
“Not when she has so much mouth. The pretty ones know how to shut up.” 
“I wouldn’t have so much mouth if you didn’t back talk.” He gets in close, only inches away from your face. 
“Either go pick flowers, whatever girly shit you do, or do what I tell you to do.” 
“I’ll tell my dad you’re forcing me into manual labor.” 
“Aww, go ahead” he mocks with a smirk. He walks towards the door, wrapped in golden sunlight. Curious, you try tugging on the sack and nearly face-plant over the weight of it. There’s no way he expects you to carry it on your own. He turns back around, laced with mirth. 
“By the way, name’s Toji. Welcome home, sweetheart.” 
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“Go do it yourself since you’re so good at it! You egotistical, selfish, brutish-” 
“Pompous ass instigatin’ little-” 
“-Callous disrespectful pig!” 
“-Brat.”  
The words topple over themselves and you both can’t get a full sentence in as insults are hurled like physical objects. The few days you’ve spent on the farm so far have been nothing short of hell, specifically around Toji. You’ve never worked this hard in your life; then again, that’s not saying much. He'd disregard your lack of general strength and enthusiasm. Sometimes he’d hold the underside of the bag to take some of the weight off, to which you often added “why don’t you just grab the whole damn thing?” A smirk and curt response were simply “Nope.” 
Most days you merely dragged a few bags to the pick-up truck and spent the rest of the day lounging around the garden. You’d stumble into the kitchen, a bead of sweat barely manifesting on your brow, and complain to Annie about Toji’s evil plan to make you contribute. 
Today is no different and you laze on the chair with your back bent over it, groaning in theatrical agony. Annie sits across from you funneling blueberry muffin batter into a silver muffin tin. “Yea, yea, I hear ya” she jokes.  
“Annie, do something” you drawl. She throws her hands up, “Can’t. Thats on you, now.” You scrape the side of the bowl and pop a blueberry-dipped finger in your mouth.  
“Don’t eat raw egg, hun” she says, turning her back to put the tray in the oven. You unconsciously take another swipe, then the door swings open. Heavy cowboy boots trail to the kitchen, and you glance at the doorway. Toji leans on it with his hands in his pockets, white tank sprinkled with grass blades.  
“Shit” you mumble.  
“’M lookin for ya and here you are stuffing your face.” 
“The girl neva worked a day in her life an’ you want her to be your assistant” Annie jests.  
“’S about time, ain’t it? We’re not done yet. C’mon.” You let out another reluctant groan and follow behind him. “This is bullshit, nobody does this on a normal day.” 
“Yea, nobody you know.” 
In front of the wheelbarrow bags upon bags are filled to the brim with juicy red apples and the truck is just a few feet away. Your eyebrow twitches imagining the weight in your arms. “You can go fuck yourself if you think-” before you can finish your sentence, a bag is dropped into your arms that briefly sends you to the ground. Toji picks up two and flings them over his back. “What? Too weak?” He walks to the truck, ignoring the glare burning holes in the back of his head. Too weak, my ass. You definitely couldn’t beat him in a fight, but you damn sure wouldn’t let him talk down on you after proving your competence. You pull it up and haul it backwards, not without a few mild choice words. 
“Jerk.” 
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The pungent odor of slurry and trough feed overcome any habitable air near the pig farm. The clothespin you have clamped around your nose barely blocks the smell. It’s the middle of the day, rays rippling heat off the stench and sending it for miles. Your cowboy boots struggle to sit upright on the uneven terrain blanketed with mud.  
You don’t dare to open your mouth and complain in fear of it invading your sinuses. It’s your fault for nagging endlessly about the “back-breaking” work Toji forced you to do. your criticisms were met with some rendition of “suck it up”, and arguing only went in circles. Consistent arguing—from the moment you woke up to the last minutes of your shift, where you mouthed off one too many times for his liking. When you threatened to find another shift with someone else, he laughed in your face, a “good luck” drowning in derision.  
 Eventually Terrace got word of your grievances and offered part of his work to you. You accepted too soon without consulting Annie, happy to just rub it in Toji’s face that he’d be on his own carrying the bags. Simply the concept of it—Toji hunched over and covered in sweat with heaps of cargo—satiated your pride, and you’d count the days until he groveled and begged for your help again. 
Except that’s not the case. As you fight the urge to sink into the mud a seed of regret grows in a more reasonable part of your mind. You could ask for your position back, where he’d probably be waiting with that shit-eating grin of his and “I told you so” written all over his face. Or you could be stubborn and prove whatever point you’re trying to make. Stupidly headstrong, you swallow the urge to vomit and plod into the pig pen.  
The squelch of damp earth and God-knows-what underneath your boots is enough to make you sick. You’re balancing two full buckets of pigswill on either side of you, resisting the lack of steadiness that causes you to lean unfavorably. It’s no help that there’s filthy pigs all around you, snorting and trotting along. One bumps into the bucket and you shriek; your foot goes airborne and impending doom flashes before your eyes. Luckily, you gain stability and plant it firmly into the ground with an awful bubbling noise. The mess has soiled your boots coming up to your calves, and you frantically check for mud-to-skin contact. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it’d definitely be the end of your day. Suddenly, a whistle from the other side of the wooden fence grabs your attention. 
“Go on then, pig queen!” Toji yells, elbows propped on the edge. His accent gets thicker when he yells. He’s not affected by the smell in the slightest, and it almost looks like he’s breathing in extra hard to taunt the shortage of oxygen reaching your brain. 
“Fuck you!” you yell in a nasally tone. He adjusts his cowboy hat, “I’d focus on what’s in front of ya. Wouldn’t wanna slip in shit, right?” You scoff and continue to the troughs.  
You can’t imagine how Terrace, let alone anyone does it—from the constant clamor of livestock to sinking in pools of muck for hours. There’s dirt on your knees, clothes, in places you never imagined dirt could reach. The pigs seem excited as you place the pails on the rim, whereas you exert a long sigh for the fulfilled trek. They come running in unison as if something triggered in their brains, pushing past each other to get there first. Once they’re emptied, a partial weight lifts from your shoulders. You shoot an arrogant sneer at Toji, and watch the corner of his scar tip up just a little. You’re still pinned to the side, and a wet snout gently prods your exposed leg. It tickles and you laugh at its cluelessness. “Hey, I’m not on the menu.”  
As you slither out the crowd, a sneaky puddle attempts to take you out. You cling to the embarrassment, to Toji standing right there ready to mock you. You won’t give him the satisfaction. From there you take careful steps, one cautious foot after the other. Toji meets you around the entrance, and you’re about to reach the gate. You’re oozing confidence now; you might even brag to your father about the effortlessness of it all, that living on a farm is nothing, that you were able to accomplish anything— 
Slip. Crash! 
You’re knocked clean off your ass, so fast it doesn’t register until a few blinks pass. You hold a breath and the blurriness fades.  
Brown. It’s on your face.  
It’s truly everywhere—mud sloshing around in your boots, seeping into your clothes, sticking to the crevices, your fingers intertwined in the mass below.  
The emotion you try to stifle boils over into a horrified squeal, a tune that exceeds the pigs. And you scream and scream. Once for the mud and twice for the death of your designer boots. You’re so entwined in your own screams that you barely catch the laughter a few feet away.  
It’s him, doubled over with a practically red face. “I get you wanna be one of the pigs but you don’t hafta roll in it too!” Toji chortles. He can’t contain himself, wiping the tears on his glove. 
Your ears feel hot. “Shut the fuck up and get me out of here!” 
“Relax, relax. Gimmie a second.” The footsteps get further away, and you stumble to the gate to open. It doesn’t matter now that the damage is done, and you look like some terrifying swamp monster from myth. The lower half of you could only be concocted in a child's nightmares. 
Something snakes in the trampled grass, then it pauses. “Here.” Sooner than you can turn your head, you’re blasted with water. It rains on you like a thundershower and you cover your face from the assault. Denim weighs heavy, and your hair sticks to your face. You feel the dirt washing off, but now you’re soaked in a mixture of water and sodden debris. Wet, you’re spitting out water and treating your fingers like windshield wipers. The hose finally drops, and your eyes trail from the hand to the face.  
That shit-eating grin. 
“No need to thank me, miss piggy.” 
Your lip twitches. Should you kill him? Absolutely. Is it worth it? In this moment, yes. You’re doused, dirty, nose blind, and no longer hanging on to your act of humility. You have to get him back, at least once. It doesn’t matter if you have to wait all summer for it, creeping in doorways for the perfect time to demean him. There’s no level playing field—either your way or nothing. A smile stretches across your face. 
“You’re so right, darling. Now let me show you just how much I appreciate you.” You saunter to him, and he awaits with open arms. Before he can grab you, you dodge him and snatch the hose from the ground.  
Aim and fire, full force directly at his face. The blast knocks his hat off and into the air, swaying in the balmy breeze. His arm falls short of snatching it, plopping into the pen to blend with shit. You can’t hear the muffled curses he spouts, but damn is it satisfying to silence him. Then he reaches for you to which you promptly escape his span. You take time hosing down any remaining dry spots, and once the hose is down, he launches. You yelp and return to his face, and the abruptness makes him slip. Right into the mud you just shook off, he lands butt-first. It splatters his cargo pants and creates polka dot patterns on the white tank stretching to accommodate his frame. “You little-” 
Another burst of water. He tries to stand on slippery foundation and quickly falls, earth splashing back on him. You understand why he was laughing so hard and you can’t stop giggling at the misery of inescapable rain showers.  
“Looks like you needed some too! I can smell you from here!” you laugh. His snicker comes off more conniving than it should, and you brace for whatever hell you’ll have to pay later. He bolts up, and you make a run for it. Just when he thinks he has you, he slips again.  
“Poor grandpa! Someone get his life alert!” you cackle, dropping the hose and sprinting for the hills. You’re too afraid to turn around when you know for a fact he is mere feet away from capturing you. You cut through air, nothing but crumpling grass and laughter carried by the wind. It’s exhilarating...fun?  
You're confused by your own actions. You smell horrible, your hair is sticky, disgusting slop clings to you like a second skin, the sun is only baking the scent, and your self-proclaimed rival is chasing you.  
You should be mortified, and somehow, you’ve never felt better. 
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Motes of dust scatter within the golden hue of mornings wake. The window’s cracked open, and remnants of last night's chill carry through sunrise. You’ve sat in this claw tub for way too long, melting in steam and lavender bubbles that slowly dissipate the longer you linger. A self-care day is what you need, especially after the “incident” that still makes your skin crawl weeks later. Simply your mud mask, waning candles, and rustling leaves. It’s rare you get silence like this nowadays, with Toji constantly on your back bickering about trivial problems.  
You can’t place your finger on what bothers you more, or if you’re really even bothered at all. Ironically, spending more time mulling over what you hate than actually hating him. You can mouth your contempt for him endlessly like an affirmation on deaf ears, but it never truly manifests.  
He’s annoying, selfish, crude, and disrespectful. 
Oh, and did I mention very annoying? 
It’s almost a bonding experience between you two; you’ve memorized the way his lips curve before a snarky remark, the deep crease on one side of his eyebrow when they furrow at something stupid you unintentionally did, his jaw clenching from held back words. His laugh—deep and resounding, unleashing a toxic mix of vomit and thrill in your stomach. You anticipate it, practice your insults in the shower for it, as if...you’re actually looking forward to it? 
You steep further into the fragrant bath, hoping you’ll somehow be sucked into an alternate reality where you don’t have to face those conflicting emotions. To your displeasure, the conflict is brought directly to you.  
A roaring engine disrupts your personal spa, and you jolt up. It sounds like a monster truck convention decided to congregate right below your bathroom window, and you definitely can’t relax under these conditions. You loosely wrap the towel around yourself and peer out over the windowsill. You can’t see a face, but you see that distinct cowboy hat stained over its silver conchos. 
“Hey!” you yell. No response, but how could you expect him to when the hood is propped up. He must be wrenching something inside judging by the way his back muscles methodically tighten. 
“HEY!”  
“TOJI!” That gets his attention and he squints above, wrench still in hand. “Oh! What are ya doing there?” 
“This is my bathroom you idiot!” 
He pans between the vehicle and your window. “Oops!” 
“Turn it off, I’m trying to have my beauty bath in peace!” 
  “Welp, can’t do anything about that now, can we?” He makes no attempt to turn it off, nor does he give you any more attention as he turns around and resumes working like nothing happened. 
You run downstairs completely haggard, mud mask hardly washed off with a pair of mismatched socks and a baggy shirt. The rumbling gets louder, and you don’t have the patience for appearances when you step into those clod-smeared boots.  
The screen door swings open and you march to the side of the house, towel bunched in your arms. 
He doesn’t regard you until you launch it at his face, which he promptly catches without looking. “Thanks, needed somethin’ to dry off.” He wipes the oil streaks from his face and neck while you stand there scowling. His eyebrows narrow. 
“What’s the problem now?” You should've predicted he’d say this, as every time a dispute arises over his uncivil actions he asks the same clueless question. 
“What...God, you’re so annoying sometimes! Do you not understand how it doesn’t make any sense for you to be here and-” He’s spacing off, scratching the side of his head with the wrench. It drives you up the wall when he acts like this. 
“Listen to me!” That triggers him back to the present, and the light flickers in his eyes just to deadpan you. “You done?” 
“No, I’m not done. Say you’re sorry” you command. He takes the hat off his head and places it on his chest. “My apologies, princess. I’ll be sure to call the company and let them know their machine is too loud for your prissy little ass” he smiles, coy and bowing. You nudge him and the wind rushes from his nose. 
“When you call them, let them know their piece of shit junk needs to be out of commission.” 
“Well, this piece of shit lasts a lifetime.” 
“What even is this?” You’re analyzing it, and it reminds you of the illegal three-wheelers certain people ride through the city. It has no seatbelt or roof, and a row of sharp spinning blades hooked to the back. 
“City girl’s never heard of this, huh? ‘Sa tiller. Gets the job done durin’ plantin’ season.” You step towards it, but Toji stops you from going further with his arm. “Don’t go near the blades.” 
“Obviously.” You shoo him and climb into the seat of tiller. You sink into the leather seat, lay back, and cross your feet on the wheel. Toji grimaces, but that subtle sign that you’re inconveniencing him eggs you on. 
“Get yer feet off the wheel.” 
“Mm, nah. It’s not hurting anyone.” 
“’S hurting me.” 
“Hmph, okay.” You switch your feet to the opposite cross, and he looks up to an invisible God, probably begging it to give him the strength to not throw you off. 
“What did I-” 
“Sorry, can’t hear you over the engine!” you scream. He sighs and hunches back over the hood. “Jus’ be quiet for me, have to finish this.” Funny how he asks for quiet in these deafening circumstances. 
You didn’t plan on watching him work, but you hate to admit it’s kind of interesting. It’s the quietest he’s ever been, sweat trickling down his temples from the apparent heat on the inside. This must’ve been what Annie meant at the beginning, about his silence and reluctance to speak unless being spoken to. The scars scattered on his bicep shift with the cranking wrench, and you can’t help but focus on it. They’re too deep to be cat scratches and healed with a bunched sheen under its darker edges. There’s one under his collarbone, too, peeking past his shirt neckline dark and jagged. Your mind wanders, for the past life he had—what was his family like, why does he choose to live here, why are there so many scars, what led him to- 
“You’re staring.” You snap out of it, to him wiping the excess oil on his shirt. 
“Sorry.” 
“Oh? Where’d that hospitality come from all of a sudden?” You can’t explain why, but there’s a solemn pit burning in your stomach. Perhaps you’d lighten up a bit, at least for now. “Appreciate it while it lasts” you remark. He grins and gets back to work. 
“What are you doing?” 
“Changin’ the ignition coil. That’s why she sounds like hell.” 
Your ears perk up, “She?” 
“Yup.” 
“Does she have a name?” 
“Nope.” 
“Can I name her?” He puts the replacement coil on, “Knock yourself out.” 
“Hmm…how about….Priscilla?” He can’t purse his lips quick enough to stop the laugh that escapes.  
“Hey! I think Priscilla’s a cute name” you add. “Yeah, for an old woman.” 
“No way, an old woman name would be something like ‘Gertrude’.” 
“Gertrude’s on the same level as Priscilla.” 
“Either way it’s fitting, isn’t it? An old woman for an old man.” His scar tips up. “Ha ha. Think I’m pretty fit for an old man, though.” 
Your eyes reluctantly snap to his chest muscles peeking through the shirt. “You manage.” He pushes the coil away from the flywheel. 
“Maybe Rosy? Oh, or Susie.” 
“Think I’ll just call ‘er (Y/N).” 
“Huh? Why my name?” 
“So when you make me mad, I can curse her out instead of you. Best part is she won’t talk back.” He tightens the last screws and shuts the hood. Immediately the banging stops, and the engine reduces to a whir. You clap sarcastically, “Nice job! You get a C minus.” 
“Why not an A?” 
“You’ll get an A when you stop pissing me off.” 
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Sticky sunbeams melt and mold into your pores, stiff from the aftereffects of its suffocating warmth. The sky gives way to a heatwave, where shimmering hot sheets scorch the ground and ripple like a retreating ocean. Lionel taught you how to harvest fruit before the rooster’s crow, and you reaped the rewards of your labor all morning. You’re numbed to the moisture collecting on your face at this point, as its vicious, stuffy humidity swallows your breaths and envelops your bleary eyes. You chose to shut them over battling the sun, bathing in its essence. It would settle in the late afternoon and blend to a forgiving mess of sunset swatches, but in the meantime, you’d soak up a bronzing tan.  
You brought a blanket to the nearest tree you could find, an expansive canopy spearheading small manageable daylight. You’re leafing through the pages of a non-fiction novel you never finished with a makeshift flower bookmark tucked under your thumb. You occasionally stop to dive in the compensation for your earlier efforts; a basket of scarlet strawberries twisted around prickly stems. 
The book tugs from your grasp and you prop up your sunglasses, gazing at the perpetrator. 
It only takes a glance to notice how badly burnt Toij’s body is. Does he really need someone to remind him to apply sunscreen, a basic necessity, or did he get too wrapped up in his work again? Toji was, if nothing else, a hard worker. You caught yourself on more than one occasion observing him. You saw it in the way the other farmers freely asked for his help, and how he’d give it for nothing in return. He moved like the wind, stoic demeanor all consuming, to behave like the rough muteness he pushed upon himself. 
A rosy shade diffuses on the apples of his cheeks and clearly separates from the protected and unprotected parts of his flesh. Its shape outlines a tank top he must’ve been wearing with the bottom hiked up, bright rubescent pattern surrounding his surprisingly smooth pecs. You take a mental note to nag him about it next time. The smudged outline of your glasses reflects on his glistening lower abdomen and his chest heaves like a marathon in the desert.  
“What ya reading?” he asks. His eyes drag across the page. “None of your business” you retort, hazy and lax from summer’s embrace. He peers over the book and passes it off to you.  
“Don’t seem like the reading type.” He plops down on the grass with a basket of dirt and carrots, few contorted to an inedible extent. “Neither do you.” He digs his fingers in the basket and begins fishing out the deformed carrots. The usual banter, macerated by exhaustion, ghosts by with little intent. 
“If you’re looking for help, I don’t feel like it.” 
“I know.” 
You both don’t say anything for a while, taking in the warmth, the cicadas buzzing in a faraway tree, the brewing pause between your bodies, unsaid words binding you to selfish outcomes, depriving you of your deepest hunger. The book is no longer as interesting as you remember. You’re more inclined to watch the sunburnt farmer. 
He picks up another clump. Inching along the carrot is a ladybug. Toji regards it for a second with the same eyes that chop trees and drag metal. At first, he does nothing. Then you track the tip of his finger as it prods slightly, goading the ladybug onto it. He carries it with the same unwavering stoicism to a blade of grass, where the ladybug hops off and continues its journey.  
Speechless would be an understatement. Truthfully, he’s the last person you’d expect to act that way. Those battered palms, bruised and scarred, tattered with memories, could appear so gentle. Those same hands would afford the fragile beings of mankind a moment of mercy. Only you are granted the privilege of Toji’s micro movements; his shoulders slumping from their usual solidity, his eyelids relaxing, jaw unclenching. Is this what he wanted you to see? Is that why he came here, sitting in the shade of a rival you thought you had? You must be staring for too long because- 
“…What?”  
“Oh. Uh, nothing.” 
He returns to what he was doing.  
“It’s about the search for meaning in life. A psychiatrist's perspective.” 
“Your book?” He asks, sifting through the sod. 
“Yeah.” 
“So…did he figure it out?” 
“He believes that the primary human drive is not pleasure, but the pursuit of what we find meaningful.” He doesn’t react, but a curious part of you wanted him to respond. Tell you a story or spill his guts, lay bare in front of you so that you may latch on to something, anything that isn’t rumors or hushed whispers for the man unknown to everyone. He checks another carrot—it’s as if he’s looking past it, like a light switched off, engulfed in a reflection pulling him further and further. 
You point the tip of a strawberry to him and his attention diverts, “You want?”  
“Can’t. Hands full.”  
You eye them; thick and calloused, fingernails lined with soil, probably sore along with the rest of his body. You can’t bear to watch—surely not because you care, but because of your sudden aptitude to kindness.  
“Just come here.” He leans over cautiously, and the shock is palpable when you press it to his lips. He seems to contemplate the risk of poison for a second.  
“If I wanted to kill you, it would’ve happened already. Open.” He obediently parts his mouth, and you feed it to him. Toji’s eye contact stuns like a spell from a Greek myth—devastatingly enchanting and hard to disengage. Just when you think you have the upper hand, you’re quickly reminded that dynamic can easily change. He rolls his tongue over the bite mark and sucks the juices, and you can’t look away—you won’t. 
 It’s the sun. it has to be. It’s getting to you both.  
You flinch when his lips ghosts against your knuckles. Soft and slightly chapped. Sugary liquid pools at the plush center of his lips where your eyes linger for too long, and he licks that up too. It’s over as quick as it began. Then you’re stuck stirring in the disarray of your own deluded thoughts.  
His scar curls with a growing smirk. It’s a shallow cut, but sunken, nonetheless. You tell yourself it’s the weather when your thumb moves from the strawberry to his face. Languid, careful motions where the hollow of his cheek would be, like gaining the trust of a wild animal. He doesn’t budge, and you press it to the corner of his mouth. 
“How’d you get this mark on your face?” 
“Not important” he responds curt. 
“Why? I wanna know.” His jaw clenches, reappearing stiff and guarded. “Don’t push it.” 
You trace it, fixating, studying the feeling. You drag downwards, tugging it slightly.  
“…like someone cut you” you mutter. 
Suddenly, he stands up with the basket. His joy fades to indifference; eyes encased in a dense fog. You retreat to your side, and he doesn’t acknowledge you as he starts down the hill. 
“I-“  
“I have to get this to Lionel. See ya.” 
You’re given the back of him, receding into the distance. There’s a dull pounding in your ears, a twitch in your limbs that pleads for you to follow. But what would you say? What could you say? It doesn’t come to fruition.  
The space between you widens with each step. 
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“-we’re expecting to see cloudy skies and storms for the re-” the portable radio buzzes in and out of connection, “-prepare for the weather by-”. Annie fiddles with the tuner to get it back on track. It crackles and scratches, but the connection can’t be regained, finally diminishing to static. 
You weren’t listening either way, huddled with your knees close to your chest on the window seat, resting your head as raindrops trickle down the glass and pitter-patter the windowsill. The trees bend to the will of the raging wind, and they’re being pulled every which direction. Ceramic settles behind you, and you crane your neck to Annie, then the novelty mug resembling an orange. You don’t reach for it, but you stare for a while, teabag bleeding burgundy under the millions of candles placed around. 
“Thank you for the tea.” 
“Don’t mention it.” 
You’ve had a hard time sleeping lately. Conflictingly so, since you’d imagine more sleep would be had with Toji coming around less. It’s what you wanted. Him chasing you was exhausting, wasn’t it? His behavior, his manners, him—it was just a bother. You should be glad you haven’t seen him since the incident. 
If he pained you, why are you kept awake, fumbling with the covers, incessantly thinking of Toji? You put together witty remarks for when you cross paths again, new creative insults, schemes you’ll act out to piss him off—all of this for someone you tried to get away from for half the summer. You assumed a week would pass and everything would be back to normal. But one week turned into two, then three. Your stay is coming to a close, and as you reflect, you’re forced to reconsider the unspoken reality gnawing at your thoughts since the moment you first met. 
That you were free to be dirty, to curse, to learn, to get mud on your face and dirt underneath your fingernails. You could lounge in an outfit from days ago or dance in the fury of midsummer. You were stupid, but not inferior the way wealthy upperclassmen made you out to be. You had the freedom to be stupid. There were no hierarchies or social status between you—simply hard work and hostility. Somehow that, being tangled in the thorns of a never-ending war, felt better than the yacht parties you’d been accustomed to. 
He sets your blood aflame, but noting ignites a fire in you like Toji. 
Annie sits crisscross on the loveseat, warming her hands with the cup. You return her content smile.  
“Everythin’ alright, sugar?” 
“Think I messed up.” 
“Hm? How so?” 
“I feel like...I overstepped. Actually, I know I did, and I feel bad. Even though I think I shouldn’t.” 
Annie exhales a soft laugh, “Assumin’ this is about Toji?” 
You nod, and she traces the rim of the cup. “If ya don’t care about ‘im, don’t feel bad.” You don’t reply, and she continues, “Though...I have a sneaky suspicion you care more than you'd like to admit.” 
You bury your head further into you. “Feelings are weird” you mumble. 
“They defnintely are. But sometimes it’s good to listen to ya heart. Take it from an old lady.” 
“...” 
“When ya feel bad about somethin’ ya did, the best way’s to apologize.” 
You peek through your arms, “Has he ever told you? Like, about his life?” 
She wanders in thought, recollecting an old memory, “Nope. Youngin’ showed up on the farm one day all scratched up and been workin’ ever since.” 
If nobody knew, you wouldn’t expect him to comply with your demands. You’re conscious of what needs to be done, but doubt surfaces. What does my heart tell me? 
You start tying your boots and throw on a hoodie in a pile by the door.  
“Do you know where he is?” 
“Not a clue.” That’s fine. Today, you’d be the one chasing after him. 
The brunt of the storm smacks you in the face once the door flies open. “Careful out there!” she hollers, and you shut the screen behind you. Your fight or flight refuses to let go of the knob as the squall persists, invoking a shrouded sea of churning clouds and indigo, banging against the foundation of the house. You scale the side and notice the barn, no light inside. You go around the back and it’s the same, wheat failing to resist the storm. However, for a split second you squint and spot a flicker. It’s faint and the size of a firefly from your view, coming from the stables further down. There’s a chance it isn’t him, but you don’t have much room for hypotheticals.   
The safety of the overhang leaves you, and you’re in the middle of a downpour. Running, inching the line of being knocked off your feet from an abrupt gust. You’re submerged in seconds, but you don’t stop running. If your heart tells you to endure, then you will. Raindrops threaten to invade your eyes, whacking you repeatedly in the face, but you shut tight and go forward. The last stretch to the stable feels like clawing up a mountain. The flurry hauls your clothes, and your steps get heavier and heavier as nature batters the earth. 
Then the sleeve shielding your face grazes something solid. You glue yourself to the side of it and pry your eyes open. An oil lantern, shining bright in the dark. You shuffle around for the sliding door and slip inside. The interior is cozy, haybales piled wherever they could fit and a couple large wooden stables supported by beams. The power must’ve went out everywhere, oil lanterns casting dimly.  
Your instinct to breathe ceases when you see Toji. His cowboy hat is tilted back, paisley bandana tied loosely around his neck with an ear of wheat tucked in his teeth. He glances at the sound of the door slamming. You’re blanking, even after you mulled over those sleepless evenings. It doesn’t help that your heart won’t function properly.  
“...Hey” he says, a tone unrepresentative of his avoidance. He grins—in the exact way you like—and picks the straw out. 
You’re irritated he’s even attempting to talk to you as normal. 
“It’s rainin’. You should be inside.” He grabs his shirt and pats your face dry. You don’t complain; a musky scent of cedar and salt when you inhale. “I could say the same to you. Why are you out here?” you murmur through the cloth. 
“Horses get a little antsy when the weathers like this. Came by to calm em’ down.” He pets the blonde mane of one of lighter horses, covered in brown spots.  They look comfortable around him, loose lower jaw slanting to his touch. You’re forgetting how to talk. There he goes again, subverting your expectations. 
“What kind of horse is it?” 
“Spotted draft horse. She’s real gentle, wouldn’t hurt a fly.” 
“She’s pretty.” He flashes his canines, “Her name’s Marie.” 
“Old woman name” you say under your breath. He laughs. “Wanna pet ‘er?” 
You’re shy but interested, shuffling closer to the stable. The tips of your ears blossom when his palm encloses your wrist, rough skin abrading yours. Then he guides you to the side of Marie’s neck. “You’re gonna pet here. Nice an’ slow, yeah?” he instructs, way too close. It’s silky, and you’re absorbed in the feeling of it on your fingertips. She neigh’s mildly and you jolt. Toji keeps you still. 
“Atta girl” he whispers, husky and painfully smooth in your ear. It fills your head like a shot of whiskey and a tipsy glow flows from your face. Your muscles tense, troubled from your anticipated apology and the unforeseen shift in feelings for him. There’s no way you can do this without stumbling. 
“I didn’t know you liked horses so much.” He lets go. 
“Yup. Used to have one.” You turn to him. His pleasant expression remains, but it’s solemn, bittersweet. You take a long breath and let it spill. 
“I’m sorry for what I did before. I realized I made you uncomfortable asking those questions. It won’t happen again.” 
He subdues his hum and he’s awkward in his stance, rubbing the back of his head like a guilty child. “I was never mad. I just...” He trails off. 
“Never mind that. Big man still pissed at you?” he asks, like mood switch occurred. If he won’t dwell on it, you’ll try not to either. You connect the dots to your father's pet name. 
“That’s what you call him?” you giggle. 
“Yup, since I got to the farm.” 
“I hope not, if he is I’ll probably never leave.” 
“Is that a bad thing?” It’s a humorless joke, wavering someplace unsure. 
“It would be if I never finished school.” 
“What ya majoring in?” You’re hesitant to say for the possible doubt he’ll display. You dance around the answer. 
“Promise you won’t laugh.” His expression contorts to confusion. “Fine...I promise.” 
“Humanitarianism.” He goes blank like a mannequin, and by the way his lip fights a flit he’s holding in his laughter as much as possible. 
“Forget it-” 
“I didn’t laugh. What ya gonna do with your degree?” 
“I want to help people.”   
He folds his arms over his chest, “But you don’t wanna help me?” 
“N-not that kind of help. Like, housing help, financial help. No one should have to work as hard as you...” 
“So, you wanna help old broke runaways like me, huh?” 
“That’s not what I meant.” 
“I mean it’s admirable, darlin’, but I work here cause I want to. ’S a good gig, takes the mind off o’ things.”  
Your mouth moves before your brain, “...What things?” 
“Thought you weren’t gonna ask me shit like that anymore.” 
“My bad.” 
“I’ll give you what you want.” He locks the gate to the stable. Your blood feels hotter when he’s fixed on you.  
“Y’know...the thing about foster care is you’re never guaranteed a good home, or even a home at all.” Toji simpers out of place, out of tune like a broken piano. “I was one of the lucky few that got sent home to home. Got attached just to get thrown back in the same shithole with the other rejects. It hurt at first, but after a while you get so used to the feeling that you’re not wanted or needed. And when a foster kid grows out of the system and they throw your ass on the street, gotta get it however you can.”  Though he tells it like the casual reminiscence of childhood, you know better than that. 
“So, I taught myself to survive, no matter the cost and regardless of who it hurt. I’ve done some irredeemable shit. Held people at gunpoint, beat them up for money, stole their valuables, all the shit they worked hard for.”   
“I fought for food, shelter. Hell, anything I could get my hands on. I never killed anyone but damn sure got close, all for an overnight motel stay and sometimes a couple cigs.”  He ambles to you and you automatically back up. Your space is squeezed to capacity, and whenever you get a portion of relief, he seals it. You take a step; he takes one more. 
“You wanted to know how I got this, right?” He taps the corner of his mouth where the scar is. 
“I entered a fighting ring for money, the kind that trades boxing gloves for knives. And boy, was I desperate. He chucked that blade at my mouth and I crushed his throat, sliced him across the eyes. I bled for a while but it kept me full for a few days.” Your back hits the door and he cages you.  
“‘Ventually the wanted flyers started coming out. Thought about turning myself in, but what kind of asshole admits to his crimes? So, I kept running, running from everything. I can’t remember how long I went for. But then I ended up here.”   
Rain pelts the roof. You remind yourself to inhale and exhale. It’s a conscious thought, in and out, processing the secrets revealed. There’s nowhere to hide, yet you don’t feel unease—solely the faint pang of sorrow. Toji appears warm under the rich glimmer. The rugged contours meld to his lowered gaze, lips twisted in a frown you hardly recognize. He looks entirely different, disconnected from your quarrels. To you this feels like it should be an attempt at intimidation, but the way he's boxing you in screams loose and unsteady. A wounded beast bearing its fangs as a defense mechanism. His arms are corded in muscle and riddled with injuries, likely from the upsets, days of begging for food, wondering when his next meal will be or if he just consumed his last, where he will go to survive, how he will survive.   
“Are you scared now?”  
He’s a vagrant. He lived on the fringes of society, avoiding the law and committing horrific acts for his own benefit. He hurt people. Who’s to say he wouldn’t hurt you next? Annie was right. Toji is right. You need to be afraid.  
Instantly, his little quirks made sense. The barriers he built and his hesitation to speak, forbearing and tolerant in spite of the bruises. He was afraid of being thrown away again, to be the same teen casted to the streets—proven useless. 
You’re inches away. It’s unsaid, begging you to repel him. There’s no rationale in your actions.  
You stand on your toes and catch his lips in a kiss.  
Brief, charged with the comfort that got lost on your tongue. His lips requite yours and leave traces of bourbon. You didn’t know he drank. It’s so brief you linger in the aftermath of heat, hoping you can satiate your interest with two, maybe three more kisses. 
Your noses graze each other. His half-lidded eyes captivate you, freezing you in time, to plinking mist and airy touches, yearning on the brink of impulse. He hovers over your lips, shuddering on the expel. Then he withdraws. 
“Ya have no sense of danger.” 
You can’t think straight, haven’t been able to for some time now. “You’re not scary. Just annoying.”  
“...I'm glad.” 
He grabs his sherpa lined jacket off a haybale and wraps it around your torso. It’s far too big and pieces of hay poke your lower back. He pulls the hood over, “This should be good. C’mon, let’s get ya back in the house.” Toji opens the stable doors. Tiny droplets percolate at your frigid feet, and you stick your head out. 
Fog clings to the edge of the horizon. The storm ended, and the land washed anew.  
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“Ouch.”  
“Careful, hun.” 
The sewing needle pricks your thumb from the other side of the glove again and you flinch, though you probably have tons of holes in your skin at the moment. You’re by no means the best at sewing, but it’s not like Toji could do any better based on the tears in the leather. You’re curled like a shrimp on the dining chair, weaving the needle through a heavy-duty fabric you found in the sewing basket Annie gave you. Floral pin cushions, yarn, thread, and bunches of fabric are splayed across the gingham table.  
It’s likely Toji would’ve slaved it to the bone and never ask for another pair, so when you got to your room and found them in the jacket pocket you felt inclined to assist. Plus, it’s a good distraction from the half-embarrassment half-shock you grieved from your boldness the other day.  
A draft pierces the chiffon curtains. It’s getting colder and the final day of your vacation has arrived, both short and torturously long. You think about the things that passed the time, the person that shortened your days to summertime laughter and mischief. Before the farm, you would’ve relished in a going away party with a performer and glittering spotlight. Yet, as cattle moo and land are tilled for the upcoming season, the profoundness of being ordinary is more pleasant than the former. 
You pull the last thread through the patch and admire your amateur mend, navy fabric accented amongst the mahogany leather. Vanilla and lemon permeate the house while a bundt cake rises in the oven. 
Annie hands you a few stationery notecards smudged with flour fingerprints. “Write somethin’ nice for ‘em. Don’t think they’ll be able to say goodbye before you go. ‘S gettin’ busier and busier nowadays.” You nod and start writing messages of appreciation for Lionel and Terrace, thanking them for putting up with your cluelessness.  
“Should I write one for you, too?” 
“You can jus’ tell me now” she beams. 
“Well, Annie, thank you for everything—for showing me around, cooking for everyone, making sure we’re all healthy and full. Most of all, thanks for treating me like family.” 
She tussles your hair, “You’ll always be family, honeybun.” 
Hooves on stone trot near the house and your heart skips a beat. You walk to the screen door and see Marie’s long mane, then Toji holding the reins. He looks like a true cowboy, double stitched western belt with a taut plaid flannel and chestnut cowboy hat to match his boots. You open the door and lean on the porch column. 
“Wanna go for a ride?” he calls. 
“Usually, guys say that when they have an expensive car.” 
“Well, this here’s an expensive horse. That good enough for ya?” 
“...I guess it’ll have to do” you say, continuing to Marie with a delicate caress on her neck. 
He holds his hand out, “Up.” 
“To where?” 
“Stop askin’ so many questions.” You roll your eyes and grab his wrist. He abruptly hauls your body weight over Marie and you squeak. It's higher than you thought and you struggle to adjust your legs in the right position on the saddle. 
“Might wanna hold on.”  
You scoff, “I can handle myself.” As soon as you say that, Marie breaks into a sprint. You would’ve flown off the mare if not for your flailing arms finding safety around Toji’s waist. “You did that on purpose, you ass!” you scream.  
“I have no idea what ya talkin’ ‘bout.” You can hear the smile when he says that.  
Hammered dirt belches behind as you leave a thick forest similar to the one you drove through for your arrival. It’s a scene from a storybook, carving through a colorful meadow bursting with wildflowers. They teeter in the headwind and so do you, hair whipping onto your face from the speed. The canopy that once enveloped you becomes a faint, fading outline against the sky and bushes shrink to specks. The landscape melts like an impressionism painting. 
Toji has expert control over the mare and his stature stands tall in spite of haste. You scale the hills, appreciating the natural foundation carving willowy trees, the miles of foliage, the cattails in a small sparkling river etched in a meandering bank. Birds sing their evening songs, and an animal rustles through the grass. Eventually you pause at the summit, immersed in a vast, unspoiled scenery stretching infinitely. Toji hasn’t said much, but neither do you.  
“I thought you’d wanna see this” he mutters. 
“How come?” 
“When ya weren’t working, you’d just climb to the hilltops and... stare. Never knew what you were staring at, but I assumed it was the view.” 
“You don’t see stuff like this in the city. It’s so peaceful here.” 
“It never gets old.” You look at him, corners of his mouth mellow. You recall the way they felt and butterflies involuntarily bloom from a deep pit in your stomach. 
You yank the hat from his head and try it on. “Hey, give it here.” You duck his grasp and push it down.  
“It looks cute on me.” 
“So what?” 
“You don’t think it matches my shoes?” 
“I think you’re a brat.”  
“Hmm” you say, feigning contemplation. “You should know, women don’t like angry old men. It’s so uncute.” 
  “Heh, really. I’m uncute?” he laughs. “Yeah, among a few other things.” 
“Well I’m sorry, princess, but you’re a real pain in the ass too.” 
“The feeling’s mutual” you retort. 
“...Is it?” You don’t have a remark for that. The sun recedes into the horizon, radiating burnt orange and red. He uses the reigns to guide Marie back in the direction of the farm. “I’ll miss the countryside.” The brim of his hat dips over your eyes and you don't correct yourself when you lean to his back, calmed from the rocking sway.  
Toji pulls the reigns at the stairs and gets off. You impassively accept his aid as he  
 scoops and sets you down.  
The buzzing porch light attracts moths with its fluorescence. Amidst the prolonged awkward silence and clumsy gestures, you’re searching for your soul’s response like Annie mentioned. Whenever you tried, the message got tangled on your tongue. Given another chance, it eludes you again. 
“I guess this is it.” 
“Yup” he agrees. 
“Try not to miss me too much.”  
He smirks, “I’ll do my best. Goodnight, little miss.” 
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He left and it’s time for you to get some sleep. But you can’t. You’re wide awake, glued to the ceiling thinking about him like your life depends on it. Maybe the instigator in you was waiting for confrontation, or the truth hurts more than you thought it would. You sit up like you’re expecting something, like you just lost a long-fought battle. You need the last word.  
It’s a quaint home with tawny wood accents. Jacket and gloves in tow, you can’t formulate a single justifiable reason for being at his front door. You lie and tell yourself it’s to return his possessions, as if you ever cared, like his hat isn’t resting on your dresser. You knock twice. 
Toji unlocks the door wearing nothing but his jeans, hair shaggier than usual. “Look who’s here” he says, a tinge of shock and something sweeter. You shove the items to him. “Your jacket, and uh…your gloves were bad, so I sewed them up. Try to take better care of your things.” He slings it to the side. 
“Heh. Yes, ma’am.” 
“So…um.” 
“Is that all you’re here for?” Not in the slightest. You’re here to get something off your chest, right? You’re not even sure what you’re mad about anymore. 
“Y-yeah.” 
“Alright then, see ya in the mornin’.” The door slowly winds closed, but you interrupt, “Were you trying to insinuate something?”  
It stops and he cracks it further, smile growing. “Not tryin’ to insinuate anything I haven’t noticed already” 
You’re burning under his gaze. “Wha…I swear, your ego is insane. You should be grateful I’ve been so nice-“ 
“Your eyes tend to…” he regards you from head to toe, “…roam. You’re not as subtle as you think.” 
“Like I wanna look at you.” 
“I wouldn’t mind if ya did.” 
“God, you’re so far up your own-“ 
“You haven’t left yet.” His relaxed demeanor aggravates you, as if he's fully aware of why you’re here. He edges closer, chest inches away from yours, voice slow and gravelly in the dead of night. 
“There’s somethin’ you want, right? Ask for it.”  
Your pulse travels to your ears. Longing teetering on the cusp of fire. 
“Fuck this.” You turn to leave, when suddenly your arm gets snatched back and pulled into the room. The door shuts and you’re flung against it, though there’s no room to move when Toji’s pressed chest-to-chest. His breathing heaves, and you can feel it rising and falling laden with yours as he’s loomed over you. 
“What’s with the sass, huh?” he chides. His grip is bruising, but the small victory of a sinking composure sends a chill up your spine you’d rather not think about. 
“You started it, don’t act so innocent now.” You can tell he’s physically holding back, the shakiness in his little breaths becoming more evident. The wild blaze in his eyes eats you up with greed. 
“You really need to be taught some fucking manners.” 
“You’re gonna punish me?” You’re both at a whisper, too scared to speak the words you’ve been keeping to yourselves. 
“I wanna do so much worse.” 
“Then do it.” 
He holds your neck in place and you succumb to raw and unrestrained fervor. Rough, uncoordinated kisses being dragged over the expanse of your lips and you’re hardly able to maintain the pace. Your free hand curls through his tresses and pushes him deeper into you. He groans through those rushed, bruising kisses reddening your lips and immediately hunts for more.  
You didn’t expect Toji to be a gentle lover by any means, but it’s the way his mouth never leaves yours, a certain thirst that can’t be satiated no matter how much he drinks. You bite his bottom lip, teeth collide and he repeats the feast all over again. You can’t tell if he’s trying to savor it or devour you in one go.  
His hands snake from your neck to the fat of your ass, and he delivers a quick smack before hoisting you around his waist. Trails of spit connect where you part for air, but he swiftly chases it with tongue, pushing into your mouth and clouding your head. You intertwine, wet and feverish as it explores your mouth.  
He’s ruthlessly scouring fulfillment, drunk off the pleasure he finds in swallowing your moans and traversing your numbing lips. You’re sweating, hot in all the right places, and you return the favor with similar passion. Your lower back aches but he doesn’t give any inclination that he’ll let up soon, grinding on the delicate, sticky lace of your panties exposed from your hiked up dress.  
“Fuck, I can feel it through your clothes” he groans, lazily undulating his hips.  
“S-shut up- ah!” Your stammering gets caught in a moan when the fabric presses against your clit just right. He wears a sleazy grin, moving slower to coax the barely audible whimper that escaped you a moment ago. “I wouldn’t mind if ya made a little noise” he husks. You’re shaky, trying to compose your trembling vocals threatening to call his name. In regular circumstances, you would’ve let yourself have it. But this is Toji, and the mischievous urge you reserve for him wants to shoot down his boosted ego. 
“Maybe you’re not doing good enough.”  
“Really...” Toji’s huffs a humorless laugh, and you have half the mind to acknowledge that you just fucked up. He enriches the kiss and movements get a little angrier, bulge rutting into you furiously.  
“Then I’ll make it so good for ya, darlin’” he rasps, “So good you’ll hafta beg me.” 
It’s impossibly big, and sliding against the aching mess restrained in his pants doesn’t quell your concerns. You swear you can feel the dim thump thump thump through it. 
You unlatch again, severing a trail of spit when you briefly make eye contact. They’re crazed, far and near at the same time and somehow sparkling the prettiest shade of hazel green. He immediately claims space on your neck. Sucking and biting, feral groaning between your pulse point that drums whenever his appendage glides along a sweet spot. His teeth graze harsh against your skin and you can feel purple and blue burgeoning like watercolor splotches on an untouched canvas.  
And he must be long gone, pinning you between the door and his haughty strength, spit glistening on your neck. You’re using whatever pride you have left to clamp your mouth shut, though it’s obvious to Toji as his lips curl when your breath stutters. He detaches with a wet smack, and you can't angle away from the onslaught of tender kisses along the underside of your jaw.  
He lifts you across the room, to the edge of his wooden platform bed draped in a deer pattern quilt. Your knees are wobbly on the descent and it hits when your feet touch the ground, almost slumping onto the mattress. Before you can, he grabs a fistful of hair at the back of your head and holds you upright. 
“Stand straight” he barks, dangerously commanding. In one fell swoop, using one hand, he flips the buckle on his belt open and yanks it out the loops. His pants sag at his hips and the tent peaks with more room. He wraps the leather around your wrists and ties it over itself, securing tight—maybe too tight—at the end.  
“On your fucking knees.” You don’t drop on the first order.  
“Make me.” Typical—but he’s happy to guide you. He tugs your hair to the ground, and you thud onto the hardwood floors by your knees.  
You knew Toji was hot, stealing glances of his shirtless torso plowing in the summer rays—but God, he truly is alluring. Straight below him you get the best view of the veins winding down his lower abdomen, the planes of his abs shining in the already low light. Underneath his pecs, full chest pulling taut with yearning, unruly need. In no time he unzips his fly and kicks his pants at his ankles, revealing firm boxer briefs and a dripping, milky stain trailing to the side. Your eyes follow, where his throbbing cockhead peaks out, rosy brown with pearls of greedy precome dribbling down. You can’t resist staring, devouring the sight and adding onto the stickiness coating your inner thighs. You lean in and pepper a few kisses on his tip. He hisses. 
“Are you losing your composure?” you ask, reveling in his twitching abs. He grins, and you return the same, “Not yet. You’ll know when I do. I promise.”  
You lick a long, mouthwatering stripe on it and he rasps a groan. He’s quick to snatch your scalp and tilt up, forcing you to gaze at him. “Look at me. Don’t take your eyes off me.” They appear darker, drunken. 
He tugs the boxers down and his cock springs out centimeters from your face, glistening and flushed. He taps it on your lip and smears the sheen. You don’t break eye contact as required, especially when you lick your bottom lip to taste him. 
 “Fuck, such a slut.” He prods at your mouth and you gladly open, closing your puckered lips around the bulbous tip. “Nice and open for me” he mutters. It’s partly a mutter, resembling a hoarse ramble as he slides the length of his veiny, thrumming cock past your cheek fat constricting around him.  
“Yeah, t-that’s it—fuck—just like that.” Your eyes water and beaded tears gather at your lashes, but he craves the back of your throat—he’ll make it fit if he needs to. You’re adjusting to his size, forcing yourself to accommodate him and hollowing your cheeks as best as you can, fulfilling a twisted desire to satisfy him. Your palate scraping his sensitive tip elicits a deep, gravelly moan that sends vibrations straight to your clit.  
“Mm, that pretty mouth taking it so well f’me.” You open your throat and allow him to push further, swelling a noticeable bulge through your skin. He’s straining your mouth to capacity, and it’s only when your nose meets his pubes and his balls are flush with you that you try breathing.  
It’s no use with his cock barreling down your throat. He keeps a firm grip on the back of your head, watching your body retch at the size of him for amusement. Then he pulls out and you dry heave from the sudden influx of normal air in your lungs. You’re soaked all the way through, hazy, hurting, but desperate for more. Too horny to remember your pride. What even is pride when you can’t tell the difference between drool and tears? 
You’re French kissing his dick as if he’s not there, slobbering and licking it up, rolling your tongue over his frenulum like an animal in heat. Shame will overcome you by morning; in the meantime, you’ll indulge, drain him so that he can’t fathom speaking the word “brat” again. You loll your tongue and he smiles. 
“I didn’t even fuck you yet and you’re already this bad?” He’s one to talk when his comebacks crack at the back of his throat, muscles sweaty and tense from your ministrations. “I’m a good man, so I’ll help ya out.”  
Without warning, he drives himself all the way down your throat. You gag, but he’s relentless. He has hands on both sides of your head and he puts his foot on the edge of the bed, angling himself to probe deeper in your throat. Laden balls slap your chin and an amalgam of sloshing and gagging bubbles from the inundated scene in your mouth. Obscene noises cloud your ears. You can only lean on the support of the bed and take every brutal, solid thrust. His groans accelerate, “You’re—hngh—droolin a little bit, huh, princess. Haah—is it t'much for you, hm? T-tell me baby, fuck.” 
It really is. It’s so intense; eyeliner smudged across your face, tears shimmering, drool coating your puffy lips and his cock rubbing your voice raw. He uses you like a fleshlight and your panties are soaked through. The twitching gets more apparent and he channels a string of curses as his hips lose coordination. “On your f-face or—ungh, your mouth. Choose darlin'.”  You respond by staying still, looking at him with what little eyesight you have through cloudy tears.  
“Such a pretty comeslut” he moans, “Don’t be wasteful—hah-ah—you’re gonna be soo fucking good and swallow it all, okay?” He might as well be rambling to himself, mouthing off on questions you couldn’t possibly answer. His bangs stick to his forehead, and he emits an endless measure of moans and curses at the precipice. Hips stuttering, legs quivering sporadically, “(Y/N), m’coming, coming—ugh, fuck—oh fuck.”  
You see the exact moment he disregards ego; head lulled back, lip sagging open while he chases the high. Guttural groans meander in the space, and he pumps enough come from his spit-soaked balls to coat your throat. You wince and fresh tears are stirred from the sheer amount you’re gulping. He lags and finally relaxes, twitching sensitively when you swallow with his half-hard length still inside. Then he shudders once more when he retreats. 
Toji leans down to kiss you, wrapping tongue over tongue. You’d hope the kisses soothe your chafed throat, but to no avail. It’s not ideal that there’s a tingle in your knees, and the same position made your legs go numb. Your wrists burn as well, diagonal lines creasing your skin around the leather. Luckily, Toji scoops you and sets you rather gently on the mattress. That’s the extent of his kindness, however, as he begins shredding the straps from your dress. They snap with a pop, the sound of money going down the drain. The luxurious silk is torn from you and you’re indifferent. There’s an unquenchable need for him—everywhere, under you, inside you, however you can achieve closeness. “I need you. Now” he grunts. 
He manhandles you on your stomach with your ass raised in the air. Cool wind brushes against the pounding fever between your legs, and the sopping lace hangs by a thread.  
“Shit, you’re wet.” It’s obvious from the outside, drenched fabric a shade darker, fused uncomfortably to your pulsing pussy and reflecting on your plush thighs. He won’t take his eyes off it; he stares like he can eat through them. He peels the fabric back painfully slow, watching it furl into itself. “These just get ‘n the way.” Some slick leaves with it and slides down his hand, then he absorbs the main course. 
Glistening, syrupy fluid blankets your pussy and forms cobwebs of mess around your inner thighs and taint. You’re so wet it’s uncomfortable, and you shift around on your knees trying to quell the inescapable throbbing in your clit. He spreads your cheeks apart, practically salivating, “Look at ya.”  
Your windpipe was ripped from you, but you can scarcely hoarse “Stop staring.” His hot laughter sends shivers through you, but he holds you still before you can move forward. “Aww, too wet for your own good?” 
“Must be so sensitive” he coos, veiled in feigned concern. The pad of his thumb hovers, damn near salivating. “Tell me where it hurts, darlin’.” He flicks gently over the bud and you flinch. “Here?” 
He rubs calculated, unhurried circles on it. It doesn’t suffice—it couldn’t, because each time you lean to his touch, he recedes just a little. Because of course he wouldn't let you satisfy your desires without paying first. It’s maddening to almost get what you want and fall short repeatedly. You whimper pathetically, and he teases, “I know, darlin’, I know.”   
“Hurry up already” you whine. He quickly lands a stern, stinging swat to your ass and you recoil. “No attitude. Had enough’a that.” 
He positions two fingers at your glossy entrance, “Want help? Show me how bad ya want it.” You should’ve told him to go fuck himself, or at least you would have if you weren’t trembling with carnal hunger. You turn back to him glassy-eyed and he smiles—sympathy won’t work here. So you slope over his waiting fingers and glide them inside. They’re thicker than you thought they’d be. A delicious burn around the ring of your cunt from your walls stretching, it takes some adapting to get used to it.  
Once you do, though, you’re bouncing on them knuckle-deep, coating his palm in juices sluicing down his wrist. He doesn’t move an inch, but he drags his digits in a ‘come hither’ motion that sends tiny sparks bursting through your body. The notion of fucking yourself on his fingers should’ve been obscene, but you can feel yourself climbing to the edge. You’re panting, wiggling your hips with buzzing stars in your vision at the way it scrapes and kneads your walls. “You can’t hate me that much. Suckin’ me up and I’m not even movin’” he taunts. 
You don’t realize how loud you’re moaning, how your pussy talks louder than you do, sloppily sliding and squelching. “Fuck—you’re so messy. Where’s your resolve, huh? Nothing mean to say?”  
“Hah-ah” You clench rapidly, heartbeat in your ears. Until your stuttering heart and legs get worse, and you’re losing momentum. Your muscles burn from the inside out like a tiring workout, and you can’t keep up the pace that would’ve attained ecstasy. Just like that, it’s ripped away from you. 
And you cry. 
Hot, frustrated tears spill down your cheeks and you stop moving. He removes his wrinkled fingers. One side of the mattress sinks near you, and he thumbs the tears from your blushed cheeks and nose, your dazed lashes and pouty lips. “S’okay.” He pecks the corner of your eye, prompting a tear he samples. “Done fightin’ me?” 
You nod absentmindedly. “What do you want?” It’s simple, but you make eye contact with him. Jaw clenched, huffing as if he’s battling his own assurance. Your eyes water again. “Please...” 
You can’t read his face, but he leaves the mattress. It’s eerily quiet.  
“Y’know just how to get me.”  
A shattered gasp dies in your throat when you feel a warm, cruel stripe from your clit to your taint. Once, twice, his broken puffs fanning the flames. Both hands spread your legs wider and he nuzzles your folds, placing open-mouthed kisses, savoring your arousal. Then he immerses himself.  
He put up a good farce for a while, but the crumbling began at his desperate, tangled tongue—ravenous and starving, he ate you like a decadent main course he’d never taste again. He was starved—slurping and sucking, releasing with a juicy smack and diving back in. He’s on his knees, grunting low at your drooling slit. He didn’t care about your quivering thighs, honeyed liquid building in layers on his chin, the weak cries you managed. None of it mattered. Because you—you were heady and sweet, and as he drowned in your scent, he wished to be breathless forever.  
“S’fuckin’ good—oh, fuck, make a mess on my face.” He swats your ass, pointed tongue massaging your clit while he gropes the doughy flesh. It’s pliable in his hands and it gives him something to anchor while he drawls lecherous swipes over your swollen gooeyness. “Ngh—p-please—close-” Your stomach turns knot after knot, damp with sweat and sensing a rapid euphoria surging all too fast. Your mistake for announcing it, because he focuses his attention on a self-indulgent make-out session with your clit. “Come. Come on my face, princess—” You start to spasm, and the vulgar noises coming from Toji disperse in your ears. 
“Toji” you moan, and sooner fall apart in his arms. White-hot pleasure courses through your convulsing cunt and a chain of violent aftershocks render you silent. What makes you even shakier, though, is that he doesn't stop. 
He cleans his plate, imbibing the perfumed essence gushing from you. He peppers kisses around your contractions, deaf to your croaked sobs. If you weren’t bound, you’d push his head away. You attempt to use your foot to nudge him off, but you didn’t expect to make a dent in someone his size. He intertwines his hands with your sweaty ones, calm thumb swaying back and forth; it would be comforting if he wasn’t ruining you at the moment.  
The intensity of his deliberate tongue only makes the aftershocks worse, and your hands start to jolt as you cry out, “Ahn--no more, p-please!” You feel his smile on your folds and he persists. His lapping gets more aggressive and so do your tremors, loud and unrestrained moans torn from you.  
He finally unlatches, landing a final smack on your puffy pussy. Your heads swimming in an infectious trance, but you’re undeserving of a break as you whirl behind you and see him pumping his flushed cock. It stands at attention and even seems bigger than before, colored deep with need pearling at the divot. 
“Need you or ’m gonna go crazy.” Toji keeps a firm hand at the base of your spine—it arches your back and shoves your words into the bed. He drags his bulbous head along your sensitive cunt, collecting the slick trickling onto the damp sheets before rimming the slit. A hint of fatigue crosses your face and he takes notice. “Heh, done already? We haven’t even started yet.” 
The image of him entering you for the first time burns into your memory; his brows are knitted, bottom lip tucked under teeth and his breath hitches. If you were fucked out, he was getting there. He presses into your spine like he’s trying to prevent himself from coming on the spot, paused but lingering. Tunnel visioned on your soaked, bulging pussy stretching around him, snuggling his leaden length like a heated blanket. And you drink in the pain, a dulcet blaze engulfing you as sore muscles clench and unclench.  
“You’ve been quiet, pretty thing” he muses, “Where’s your resolve, huh? Nothin’ mean to say?” With his veins adorning your walls and your mushy brain bouncing around in your head, you can’t bring yourself to talk shit. He pulls out completely, watching a mix of precome and wetness connect your bodies. 
Suddenly, he bottoms out. “Ahn--fu-ah!” It shreds a whimper from you and he mocks your cracking moans, though he seems to be breaking, himself. The sharp snap of his hips contacts skin-on-skin, earning each sloppy slap echoing in the room. His lips are parted, swamped in infinite, unbridled lust. The carnal itch he’d been holding off on for weeks seeps through, satiating his most indulgent appetite. “O-oh, God, shit, look at the m-mess you’re making.” He drives out to his frenulum and shoves it back in with no mercy, no sign of slowing down. Long, deep strokes leaving you slack jawed and teary. Every drag of his dick imprints his name on your tongue, heavy balls smacking your tender clit.  
“You hear that? Listen.” He goes quiet, to let the indecent plap plap plap’s resound. Your cheeks turn hot from humiliation. The side rail of the bed screeches the hardwood floors, and the belt buckle you’re secured to clicks occasionally.  
“You’re my filthy slut” he grins, striking your rouged cheek. He’s rough, but you weren’t searching for friendliness, neither of you did. At your core, you knew it—Toji bullying himself into your cervix is a poison you’d drink habitually. A poison so incredibly captivating, you’re burning just to feel his crowning ardor. 
He’s sandwiched between your swollen lips and he can’t get enough, virtually drunk from it. He winds another branding swat on your backside, then the other. The crackling fire of his hand thwacking delicate flesh merges pleasure with pain. “You've been such a brat all summer” he taunts, “Needed me to put you in your place, huh, you fucking slut?” Another mean swat, and he laughs crudely at you little gasp. “You like this shit, don’t you? Wanna be manhandled like a fucking whore.” Both cheeks are a severe fiery color, beginning to welt, but he resumes. And you’re drenching him. A creamy, gooey ring forming at the base of his dick, tracing translucent strings when he pummels your poor leaking pussy. 
“M’sorry, so s-sorry” you babble. Apologizing for what? You don’t know, but the delirium spills truths you should’ve voiced ages ago. You're utterly incoherent; you might as well stay silent. “Aww, I know” he cloys, soft and sultry compared to the angry strokes he’s delivering. Shockwaves burst and fizzle on your clit and you flutter around him. Your ass ripples against him, hoarse voice funneling strings of curses, scrotum pummeling your overworked bundle of nerves. You want to come so bad it hurts, and you find yourself arching a little harder, spreading your legs a little wider—just begging him to use you entirely, to melt, become his. 
“Pleasepleaseplease” you whimper, at the height of your intensity. Then sweltering, frenetic spasms suffocate Toji’s shaft as you ride the orgasm seemingly crashing into you. You shudder violently, pleading with your body to attain some level of poise. It has other plans, however, provoking you to flitting tears from dragged-out, toe-curling tremors. You grip him like a vice and he struggles to pull out, but when does he’s rubbing circles on your aching nub. You’re lost in a bottomless sensation, but you hear his voice in your dampened ears, “Mm, I got ya.” 
The pressure on your wrists lessens, and you realize you can move them freely. Your arms are numb returning to a normal position, and you support yourself on your feeble elbows when you feel your legs being parted again. In the fleeting instant you’re allowed to settle, the vast trail of his tongue laps at your shuddery cunt. "P-please wait—ngh, I can’t-” you wail, and you turn to the commotion to see Toji, growling and devouring your silken arousal.  
He’s absolutely corrupted, a feral glint in his blearily blinking eyes, chest heaving salaciously as he kneads your thighs. You paw at his hair, toiling to crawl away from his unsparing mouth but he follows. He releases you and you inch away from him. “Where ya goin’? Heh, tryna run?” he teases. You don’t get very far, because he grapples your waist and pulls you back. “Not done ‘till I say it’s done.”  
Then he’s climbing on the bed with you, and you can do nothing but snivel in protest as he maneuvers you to hike your leg over his. He lays on his side, locking you in his embrace and smears his cock between your puffy folds. “Am I being mean to you?”, he slides in with ease, savoring the sweet mess spewing on cue, “’M sorry, I’m just an ‘angry old man’, after all.”  
He pounds your chubby cunt with wild abandon. You feel each vast stroke pummeling your tumid core, squelching amidst your languid bodies. You can’t close your legs—as badly as you want to—and you’re forced to endure frantic twitching from your lit nerves. He strips your breasts of the flimsy lace bra and alternates among pinching your nipple and molding the valley to his palms. He twists it harsh and you muster a pathetic babble, to which he laughs—mocking and unhinged, “My poor baby, you can’t handle it anymore.”  
Anymore was an understatement, it was overwhelming—to a degree that you’d gone quiet, enveloped in vehemence. You're scratching up his bicep with the other tangled in the sheets, knuckles turned white and your head thrown back. You want to push him off, but you’re milking his stuttering hips, drawing him closer. It isn’t enough and it’s too much. “F-fuck, it’s so swollen” he moves from your chest to your vulva, “I can touch right? Y-yea, you don’t mind.” His intoxicating voice is at a whisper in your ear, laying like liquor in your cotton-filled mind. With his cock dragging against your walls and hammering your g-spot, mercilessly circling his pads on your clit, eliciting every short “ah, ah” from your swollen lips, you’re far from combative.  
He precisely rolls his hips and it’s unbearably hot, broken mewls fleeing you. Your mouth sags, drool shameless down your mouth as he kisses your cervix without trying. He wraps his hand around your throat, boring into your teary eyes. You can’t escape his overbearing presence, isolated from everything besides his eye contact. He is everything.  
“Who’s pussy is this?” He gradually squeezes tighter and you pule in response. Since that didn’t work, he accentuates the words with every tantalizing thrust: 
“Who’s” 
“Pussy” 
“Is this?” 
You narrowly choke out, “Your pussy”, and like something snapped his rhythm get faster, nastier. The asphyxiation reaches you brain and floods you, aswoon on a pillowy cloud. He’s faltering, pumps getting sloppier, “Thaaat’s right, ‘nd I’ll use this pretty pussy whenever I need.” His stomach flinches but he doesn’t stop chasing that high, eyes thoroughly glassed, “’N you’re gonna be a good girl and take it—ha, f-fuck—be a good girl, o-okay?” Your pupils retreat to the back of your head, and you arch off the bed as your body begins to tremble. He’s glued to you, “One more, let it out f’me. Please, fuck, I need it—hah—need you to come on my dick—”  
Your breath gets stuck in your throat, and you unravel. A stream of liquid coats the blanket and you’re speechless as you convulse uncontrollably, legs betraying you for strong spasms. You go limp but Toji props you up, bucking his hips when his own legs start to jolt. “That’s a good girl—Ohh yes. Y-you're so good f'me, princess. Coming—hahh—gonna come all over your pretty cunt—”  
His balls tighten, and he manages some slushy, vile pumps before he pulls out. He spurts all over your tummy and hypersensitive vulva, painting it in thick white layers. He persists, groaning until he’s fully hollow, emptying his sack in globs. His staggering pants and shaking reduce to hitching, and he relaxes your exhausted weight. You weep softly, clinging to him as he presses selfish kisses from your lips to your wet lashes. He caresses your cheek, sweaty and disheveled in the dim light. Then your eyesight starts to blur. 
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Your sight peels back, permitting warm sunlight basked over the bed. It takes a split second to notice you’re resting on pillows not nearly as comfortable as yours, and the wood paneling was uncharacteristic of your assigned room. It takes another second to notice your galled throat, stinging backside, and the arm loose on your naked waist. You peer over your shoulder, to that mop of ink sprawled on the pillow. He looks peaceful, though you’re not sure how you slept soundly when he snores like a brute. 
You slip from his arms to sit up. The floor’s freezing, but by the time you get to stand you’re pulled back into the covers. Entangled in limbs, you gaze at Toji, who still has his eyes closed. His face appears softened up close. There’s a small scar near his hairline that you hadn’t spotted. You trace the scar, outlining it to the one on his lip. He nips your finger. 
“I wanna sleep” he grumbles. 
“Then you should’ve let me leave” 
“No.” You card your fingers through his hair, and he sighs into it. A fine gray strand peaks out amongst the rest. “You’re turning gray, old man.” 
“The way I had you last night, I wouldn’t say ‘old man’.” Your remembrance makes your ears hot and you clasp a hand over his mouth. He laughs and pecks it, “You’re leaving today. Let’s get you packed up” he muffles. 
Little did he know, you’d talk to your father that afternoon, asking to stay for a couple more months. The countryside welcomed you—and what a humbling experience it was. 
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© mooishbeam - please don't steal, copy, or post my work to other platforms :)
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just-zy · 2 months
Text
Gone soft
pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem Reader!
summary: You thought getting Wednesday a stuffed bear was cute, but as she is, she doesn't quite like anything that imaged her that she was turning soft.
A/N: hello! it's been awhile, and this is quite awfully written, so I'm sorry ab that but I just got this motivation to writee, at lasttt
Warnings!: angsty..? hshshs it's fluff so u don't have to worry.. kinda
Masterlist
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It wasn't anything big or anything small either, it was perfect. Well, you thought it was.
You knew it wasn't going to be easy having Wednesday accept the gift that you were going to give her, it was only a cute and fluffy bear.
No is the worst thing that she could say, right?
"I thought we weren't getting each other anything. We agreed to–"
"Y- yeah, but I saw this on my walk to Jericho so I thought you'd like it–"
"That looks sickening. It's soft and unwanted, you're keeping that."
I hummed with audible dismay on my posture, I held the bear close to my chest, I didn't know it was gonna be this bad. My heart is hammering inside my ribcage, like it was finding an escape, my hands are shaking, it was obvious I was in distress and was trying not to break.
But Wednesday doesn't know that, after spilling her opinion about the gift, she automatically goes back into writing her novel.
"O– okay. I'll be.. I'm going out."
I wasn't expecting anything from her really, but that hope in me shattered. Am I overreacting? Am I being too much? I mean it is only our first monthsary, so I guess I am.
I waited for a response from her, but all I got was an unbothered hum.
"Wednesday– Hi, Y/N! Happy Monthsary to you both!"
I didn't think it'd be relieving to hear someone else being in the room.
"Thank you, Enid."
I sighed heavily and made my way towards the werewolf, my hands shook as I lightly shoved the bear in her arms. I just know that she can take care of this baby with love.
If Wednesday doesn't want it, then the bear can keep her company from Enid's side of the bed.
"For me?! Awh! Thank you Y/N/N!"
"I'll be heading out now."
...
Enid skips her way to her bed, setting the bear gently aside with the rest of her stuffed toys.
"Hey Wednesday?"
"What."
"Did she get you anything as a present? Or did you get her something?"
Enid stood waiting for Wednesday to face her, she knew the bear was originally for Wednesday, she heard everything before she got in.
"She got me that wretched bear. You all know how I'd rather stain my blood on my hands rather than accept something like that."
Enid knew how harsh Wednesday gets, the way you handed her the bear, the way you walked out, and the sickening atmosphere in the room. She almost gagged.
"Honestly, it's your loss, Wednesday."
Wednesday knew she should've at least accepted your gift with remorse but, you both agreed not to get each other anything anyways, so why are you upset about something you agreed on?
And she doesn't get why her chest was feeling jittery all of a sudden.
She huffed, suddenly feeling tense as her fingers shook with each time she pressed on her typewriters keys.
Oh how fast her emotions work up.
Archery was something, Xavier's yapping kinda helped? It did get your mind off Wednesday. All week you tried going back to the way it was, but Wednesday was making it pretty hard. She was kind of losing contact with you, and you didn't know what to do.
Maybe she grew tired of you about the bear gift thing. She didn't accept it anyways, so why then did she have the energy to start pushing you away?
"What's with your aim today, you seem off."
"Might wanna talk about yours."
I chuckled unashamed, as I took another arrow and adjusted it on my bow.
"Yeah yeah laugh it up- but seriously, what's up?"
"I don't really wanna talk about it, Xavier."
I let go of the bow after making sure I sighted it right, it shoots through the bullseye.
He clears his throat as he took his shot.
"If you say so."
...
The next day was no better, Enid barges right into my room, announcing to literally almost everyone in Nevermore how the bear I gave her was missing.
"What? Are you sure? Maybe it's at the bottom of your bed–"
She fumed as she grabbed my wrist, practically dragging me into her shared room.
"It's not anywhere, it was with me last night! I swear!"
She was absolutely livid.
I reassured her that it was okay, that I could just buy her a new one that suited her better.
She pouts, "But I liked that cute little one.."
I sighed and agreed to find it with her, but if we couldn't then I'm getting her a new one.
We checked her drawer, under her bed, ruffling her closet, inside the bathroom and even on the balcony, still no sign of that bear anywhere.
"Wait! I think– I might have left it with Yoko! She did want to see the bear actually- I'll be right back!"
She hurried off the room, while I sat on the wooden floor.
After a few moments of resting, I took my time glancing around their room. Enid's side of the bed, and then Wednesday's. I stood up and began walking towards Wednesday's side of the room. I've always admired how clean she is.
How her drawers were filled with her collections of her favourite knives.
I sighed tiredly, she wouldn't mind me napping on her bed does she?
Plopping my body with full force on her soft mattress. I can't believe how soft her bed actually is, it was almost flawless, the only thing that wasn't making everything seem comfortable was the thing that was covered on her soft pillow.
I grumbled as I practically grabbed her only cushion, accidentally making the object on the soft cushion fall off her bed.
Shoot, what is that–
My eyebrows knitting together as I tried connecting everything.
Why's the bear hidden on Wednesday's—
Oh.
Oh!
OH.
My heart started rattling like crazy.
Wednesday took the bear.
I grabbed the bear and placed everything back to the way it was. After I finished, I ran to my heart's desire, passing through every corridor, through every room where Wednesday wasn't.
I wanted to see Wednesday.
It was raining like cats and dogs out there, and I knew Wednesday was in that rain. If I don't find my girlfriend now, then I'm going to spiral everywhere. So, I didn't stop running.
My vision, my pulse rate, my stamina, my breathing, it was all going into a frenzy.
"Wednesday!"
I spotted Wednesday just a few steps away, she looks at me like I was crazy, I knew she was going to mother me about being in the rain, but I didn't care. I was practically sprinting towards her.
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm feeling, everything felt messy, how my emotions were all over the place, how sticky I felt, how I was heaving right infront of her.
"Y/N, what are you doing out here? How senseless of you to not bring an umbrella with you—"
"I don't care." I shook from the cold, but I truly didn't care, Wednesday was here, and so was I.
Her ghouly ambiance, her dry braids, everything about her is perfect.
Smiling lightheartedly at her while I took a hold of her defined cheek, whilst the other is on her waist.
Suddenly, I felt droplets prickling on me, raindrops falling at every aspect of her being, her now wet hands right on my nape, the umbrella long forgotten, we held eye contact for as long as I can remember, while our kiss felt like a millisecond.
It's perfect.
She's perfect.
______+______
*/you get sick the next day
Y: you're going soft on me, aren't you–
W: speak of it and I'm leaving you here unattended.
A/N: lmao idk wtf happened, i actually hate this 😔
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muzanswaifu · 2 years
Text
Hashira & Uppermoon hcs (18+)
Anon: Reader trying to crawl away when her orgasm is approaching due to intense feeling
Fem/Afab! Reader
Warnings: Smut, some suggested dubcon/noncon situations, doggy style, missionary, cunnilingus, fingering, tribbing, 69, mating press, ect, breeding kink, squirting, yandere themes, suggested violence, overstimulation, edging
Gyomei (Doggy style)
Hes so big, its no wonder you get so overwhelmed
You wait for the moment his massive length stops pumping his release in you, threads of cum stretching between your swollen cunt lips and his leaking slit, you push yourself up from your spread position on your tummy, hands clawing at the sheets desperately to get away
The fucking you could handle, it was difficult, definitely taking a toll on your delicate body, but what you weren’t expecting was for him to finish before you, filling you up so much that the hot pool of sperm pushed tightly at your belly from the inside
You’d finally reached an end of the mattress before monstrously large hands grabbed around your waist, tugging you back and forcing a sob from your throat
He gives a soft apology for finishing so quickly and not giving you a proper warning, promising to make it up to you
You beg him to give you a break, pleading for him to use your mouth instead, anything
He denies your offer, insisting that he bring you to climax once more, twice more, a thousand times more
You’re strong, he insists, you can take it
Tengen (Missionary)
Hell, hes used to it, your so goddamn sensitive all the time its not like hes suprised
A chuckle fills your ears as your weak limbs claw away, exhausted but adamant about escaping
He humors you, letting you get at least a couple feet away from him before pouncing on you again
His voice is sickening sweet as he picks you up once more, molding your hips against his in a steep arch that allows him to sink into you, your insides promptly taking shape and milking him for all he's worth
You whine aloud, muttering soft pleas and begs for him to go easy on you, for him to get you off gently rather than ripping them out of you one after the other
He laughs manically
Fat chance
By the time he's done with you, you better be dumb and pliant, begging for him to unload inside you until he's fully satisfied, don't be selfish
Shinobu (Cunnilingus and fingering)
Rolls her eyes as you try to push her way and escape, her lips and fingers only working faster on your twitching pussy in retaliation to your little rebellion
She honestly thinks you're being a tad bit dramatic, don't you think? She's only had her mouth on you for a couple minutes and your already squirming and crying
She pretends to care though, cooing at you to just bear through it a bit longer, you're so close aren't you?
Her lips suck harder at your clit, her fingers digging deeper in your g-spot, stars sparking in your vision
You don't wanna come again, you don't wanna "squirt" or whatever she called it when your juices sprayed out and made a mess last time
Sobs echo through the room as she continues, her tongue swirling over your little bead over and over again, right under the hood where it almost hurts how good it feels
Its a good thing she tied you to bed this time, otherwise you probably would've gotten away since Shinobu probably wasn't strong enough to stop you, but she planned this, schemed this
She moans shamefully loud when you finally drench her face in your sweetness, liquid shooting all over her mouth and neck as your legs shake violently in release, she licks her lips of the delectable nectar
Oh that was so beautiful - again?
Iguro (fingering)
Couldn't give a shit, did you have to be so loud and annoying about it? Just shut up and take it
He does go a little slower though, dragging out the agony that builds in your gut with every fucking second
His fingers are devilishly skilled, each digit curling painfully perfect against your g-spot and creation such a delicious stretch against your walls, but each sensation just built one atop the other, making all of it just that much more unbearable
He doesn't even give you a break, instead holding you down with his legs keeping your thighs spread for his torturous touch
It honestly turns him on how desperately you're trying to escape, though he'd never admit it given he disproved of his own sadistic desires, but if he could he'd want it like this always, you tied down and begging for release of both kinds while he denied you of either
Before you could reach the end, however, he tears his hand away, letting you wallow in the pit of frustration and despair, hell it was probably his fault you were so painfully sensitive since he'd been edging you like this for what felt like several hours now
But god did you look so hot like this, so irresistible, he wondered if you could come from just a breath on your delicate little clit now as he pet along the side of your labia, making your hips jump against his hand for one more second of touch where you needed it the most
After a few moments he returned to the peak of your sex, rubbing softly and relishing your sniffles as he wondered how many more times he should tease you
Mitsuri (Tribbing)
Oh lord she's so sweet
Apologizes for being too much for you and forcing you to have to crawl out from under her just to get a break
Promises she'll be softer, better, and will take care of you like you, her princess, deserves
You sniffle at her kind vow, nodding your head stupidly with what small amount of brain you have left and she giggles
She resumes position, tribbing your cunts together reverse cowgirl while your thighs are pressed out over your sides under the weight of her ass, your juices mix together like a fine wine, flowing down onto the sheets in a dewy puddle that has mitsuri mewling
You can hear the slick sounds the friction makes, her wet sex against yours, her lips sliding against your clit like a carnal whisper, each rock makes you shiver, your climax building up so slowly and torturously you cry
she looks over her shoulder with a gentle expression, a glowing redness spread across her cheeks, admiring the roll of your eyes to the back of your skull as you finally, finally, shatter
Your so cute like this, she thinks, so adorable and precious
She can't help but continue, rolling her hips atop yours to bring out several screams from your shrill throat, she just can't help it
Tomioka (Grasshopper)
Ignores it
He doesn't at all mind when you try to flee from him, as he quickly catches you without any effort at all and brings you back down to bed with him, though he does find it rather inconvenient when he knew you were so, so close to sweet release
It had been quite a while since your last coupling so he was confident this was well needed for you, and he'd be damned if he let your own naive body keep you from satisfaction
He'd pull you back down to his embrace, making sure to securely wrap his arms around your waist this time so you couldn't move an inch, and absolutely go to town, thrusting so hard and fast that you were sure your insides would bruise
None-the-less, you would be forced to take it, unable to break through his strength, each stroke hitting your sweet spot near your cervix with crippling precision
Your sobs rose in volume as your body was forced over each wave of pleasure, rising and rising and rising but not yet allowing you to tumble over even though you so desperately needed to
But Giyu was merciful, taking care of you so viciously and forcing your greedy little cunt to succumb to bliss even as it rebelled against what had to be your strongest climax yet
Only when he'd bottomed out, grounding his base into yours in deep swivel did you finally break, crying with hot tears and clenching at the sheets, your stubborn body screaming as he continued pumping
Did you think he was done?
Rengoku (Cunnilingus)
He finds your attempts absolutely adorable, so amusing, even if they were futile since he'd tied each of your hands to the bedpost and had your ankles and thighs knit together to keep you bent and exposed, his own powerful arms curled around your hips to keep you spread for him to feast on
Pure ecstasy filled him every time you came into his mouth, with the occasional spurt of sweet honey all over his jaw and face when he was being especially eager
But it was only a matter of time before your little pussy would reject the need to finish, being so used to satisfaction that you were kept at a constant of sensitivity and edging
Perhaps it was his fault for making you finish so many times (it was), but he'd be awful if he left you in such a state with no end, even if you begged him over and over to just leave you be and give you rest, he knew you couldn't possibly mean it
He'd make sure to give you attention where you needed it the most, flicking his tongue over your dripping folds, wrapping his lips around your throbbing bead, licking into your convulsing hole
Each sound you make is a gift from god, your pained cries for mercy only edging him on further to lavish your little kitty with attention, she was begging for it
Eventually, after several long whiles of eating you, you start to feel the draws of climax creeping up on you, but this one felt stronger, more pain than pleasure with how horribly sensitive you were, with clenched fists pulling at his locks you begged him to stop, the plea falling on deaf ears, honestly even if he were to listen how would he hear with your thighs squeezing his head?
Pain seared through your veins as your nethers clenched, his tongue never ceasing its vigorous swiping even as you screamed out your demise, juices gushing out of your and staining his face in such a lovely sheen, he licked his lips and yours clean
Sanemi (69)
Its absolutely infuriating that you were being so finicky
Hell, you hadn't even made him come yet and were already trying to ditch? Yah, fuck that
He should've known you'd get all fussy after he'd made you come the first time with his tongue, your own stuttering on his cock before grazing your teeth as your jaw began to lock with the overstimulation
Honestly how was he supposed to react when you tried to crawl off of him to freedom? Was he supposed to beg you to come back? Comfort you and give you a break? Fuck that weak shit, if he needed attention, you were gonna give it to him, and take it
With a strong thigh wrapped over the back of your head to keep your throat impaled on his length and thick hands anchoring your pussy to his face, he was in absolute paradise
He almost laughed when he felt your teeth whisper against his cock again, you no doubt having the urge to bite down as he lathered his tongue all over your cunt over and over again, paying careless and heady attention to your little clit
He rolled his hips on occasion to jostle his dick in your mouth, thoroughly enjoying the way your throat would tighten around him and your bud would twitch between his lips
It was only after you'd finally relaxed on top of him, likely having lost consciousness from the combination of pleasure and lack of oxygen, that he filled your mouth with seed, but even then, why not another round?
Kokushibo (Mating Press)
Upper 3 finds great offense to your lack of gratefulness and pursuit of escape, who were you to deny him?
With a deepening hold, he only pounds into you harder, sending sparks upon sparks of pleasure through your body despite the bruises forming on your abused bodice
His cock slams hard into your cervix, bruising the delicate tissue and bulging out of your stomach in a overwhelming sight, you're comparably smaller frame can't even begin to take it, each thrust pushing you closer and closer to the ledge of a release that quite honestly scares you
But each time you beg for him to be more gentle, to stop, to let you go, he only becomes more vicious, unforgiving, cruel
You're lucky, had he cared about you any less he would've broken a limb or two to make you stop struggling, but being the generous man he is, he allows you to continue making a fool of yourself, your weak little hits doing nothing but drive him further off the wall with rage
Your sobs only increase in frequency as you get closer, your eagerness to get free becoming more desperate
Pushing the backs of your knees further into the ground, he quickens his already hellish pace, his pelvis slapping into yours violently and abusing your tender clitoris that, regardless of everything, throbbed for attention
When your pleasure pain finally peaks with a hot rush of juices squirting out to drench his pelvis and thighs, only then does he ease on you (hardly), slowing his pace slightly to ride out the delicious clench of your cunt around his member, your reward being a generous few flicks to your clit, making the hypersensitivity just that much more unbearable
Douma (Thigh job)
He finds grief with your overstimulated cries and grasps for relief, chastising himself for overindulging on such a poor creature as yourself, he apologizes sincerely, hoping he didn’t hurt you too much
Its not your fault, you poor thing, he can hardly handle his own carnal needs himself, and he much less expected you to be able to keep up
Truly he’d thought such a position as this would be easier for you, with the lack of penetration and gentler handling, though perhaps it was a bit much considering how teasing each pass of his shaft was over your sensitive little bundle of nerves
He tries to ease up, he does, but how can he contain himself? Your thighs and pussy feel oh so good wrapped around his swollen cock, the perfect mixture of slick and friction, second to that of your insides of course
So eventually he chooses to ignore your tries of escape, instead opting to coo down at you, comforting you through the waves of pleasure that he knows will soon lead to your orgasm
He can feel how your holes convulses, your clit twitches, your thighs tighten, its nearly painful how hard you're pressed around him, not even a gap of space left between your legs other than the one his cock is occupying
Finally he feels it, your shudder of tension before your body seizes in a tantrum of euphoria, he can see the way your hands grip the sheets, the way your spine quivers, the way your mouth gapes open in scream after scream, hell his followers must think he's murdering someone in here!
He eventually follows suit, cum spraying across your body in thick ropes that he pumps out with each pass of his hips into your spent ones, your body twitches weakly and you whine as he continues to use your oversensitive folds
Who can blame him? You feel so good!
Akaza (Spider-man)
He laughs manically seeing you trying to escape, your weak little body looking so pitiful between his powerful thighs
Honestly it was a miracle you'd lasted this long with him, but he found satisfaction in the fact that the pleasure he'd brought you was so overwhelming that your stupid little brain thought it'd be a good idea to flee from a god such as himself
He'd had half a mind to let you and watch you run away with so much cum running down your legs that you'd likely slip in it, stupid thing
But he'd trashed that idea when he'd heard your cries rise, more tears and saliva pooling down your face, he wanted to hear what your voice sounded like when you came again, what your face looked like, what your cunt felt like
He thrust into you faster, trailing a hand from where it was hugging your thigh to his chest down to where your little clit lie
He brushed over it quickly, relishing your shrill cries of grief and despair as your nerves lit on fire, more laughter filling your ears
It wasn't long before you finally snapped, your pussy chocking around him and spewing hot liquid across his thighs, it was bliss feeling you milk him and hearing your broken voice scream so loud his ear drums nearly burst in time with his seed that flooded your insides
Yes, he rather enjoyed this, perhaps he should let you escape next time and see how that plays out as well
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bezierballad · 15 days
Text
The whole truth (and an apology)
Hey guys. It's me again.
Hoo boy, where do I even begin?
So, as you guys have noticed, the blog about Kurophiliac and puppyfan9000, I'd taken down.
And I'm going to cut to the chase.
Turns out the screenshots really were faked.
Let's start at the beginning, where we got that anonymous confession in the server I'd mentioned.
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Basically someone (we'll get to them in a bit) confessed about the whole "proshipper server lusting after a real minor. They had screenshots and they wanted someone to make a callout because they were too scared to do so themselves.
Wanting to make myself useful, I immediately volunteered.
And so the person (named Zex) sent the screenshots.
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And once I'd received those screenshots, I made that post asking people to report both Kurophiliac and puppyfan9000. I even included a cybertip report link.
That was a stupid thing for me to do. That was a very irresponsible and dangerous thing for me to do. And that is putting it mildly.
I didn’t think about questioning the information provided, I didn’t ask Zex why they didn’t want to post the callout themselves, I didn’t even think about contacting Kurophiliac and puppyfan9000 who were allegedly involved in this "incident."
I went straight to extreme measures to take action against two people I barely knew myself without investigating further.
I took things at face value. I truly wish I hadn't.
Because, as I've said at the beginning, the screenshots really were, in fact, faked.
See, Zex had some past beef with Plato (aka Kurophiliac) and made this whole story about them being a pedo in order to frame them and ruin their reputation.
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When I'd made that post, they linked it and outright encouraged harassment of these two individuals. (Which is, honestly a really dick thing to do.)
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And the thing about them "infiltrating a proshipper server?" They were always in that server. They didn't even leave like they actually claimed to.
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Their introduction post in the proshipper server.
So, Zex if you're reading this right now... well, I'm speechless. I mean, going as far as to deliberately frame someone else for something so serious? It doesn't even matter whether the person you're framing is a proshipper or not, if you're framing someone as a pedophile when they've committed no such atrocity? That's sickening no matter what your excuse is.
As for Kurophiliac and puppyfan9000, if you two are reading this right now, well, I'm truly sorry.
I'm sorry I jumped straight to conclusions based off someone else's words, without questioning that person's intentions.
I'm sorry I immediately assumed the worst of you guys without being the bigger person and handling this like a rational person would.
I'm sorry I made you panic and put you two at risk of major reputation damage and legal trouble.
I'm sorry I resorted to the absolute worst possible way of "solving" the problem.
My intentions mean nothing because I ended up causing you both harm. Just because I was lied to doesn't mean I'm completely blameless in this. I should've investigated the situation before taking action. I should've seen those rather obvious red flags in those edited screenshots as well as in Zex's behavior. I shouldn't have taken the word of some random fucker on the internet.
Whether or not you guys forgive me for this is completely up to you. I understand either way. We can go our own ways and never speak to each other again if you prefer. Either way, I hope you two are doing alright, after everything.
And that goes for the rest of you guys. Have a good day/night.
Update: kurophiliac created a post elaborating on the situation with Zex.
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doki-doki-imagines · 9 months
Note
Can you write earrhrealmers feel about an s/o that likes giving them head? Like, it’s a hobby at this point 🤣👀
author note: the request is nsfw, but the hcs are suggestive, so no action is described! Spoiler: most of them are more than fine with lol
Johnny Cage: -Does he seem worried to you? You could spend your entire holidays between his legs, and Johnny wouldn't complain. -Do that in the seat of his car or in an empty theater, and Johnny will see stars, planets, and universes, from his mouth a river of compliments for your good work. -But what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't return the favour? Get ready, Liu Kang gifted him with those hands, and they aren't there just to be looked at.
Kenshi Takahashi: -With his highlighted senses, every time you go down on him, Kenshi thinks to go a bit crazy. -His tattooed hand running on your head, not setting a rhythm, just touching you. -Honestly? He wouldn't mind if you stayed there forever. -But Kenshi is a nice guy, you know? After you finish, he'll tap his lap, prompting you to sit on it. -It's your turn sugar, and you'll stay there for as long as he wants to.
Raiden: -He isn't that much at ease? Don't misunderstand, Raiden loves to look at your face, at your lips taking him so nicely, but- -He just prefers to be the one on his knees for you, lavishing you in compliments at each whine and twitch your body makes. -Raiden won't make you go at it more than once, he enjoyes it, clearly, if the words that leave his mouth mean something you should feel more than proud of yourself, he just can't wait to get his hands, and mouth, on you. -"Thank you, strawberry. Now it is my turn." -Why strawberry? Because Raiden says you taste as sweet as one on his tongue.
Kung Lao: -Baby, go at it as much as you want. -Lao will look at you, hands behind his head, enjoying the sight like you are his favourite movie. -For sure, the imagine will stay in his head for long, at times becoming an intrusive thought while he is working. -Lao showers you with compliments, getting sweeter and sickening the nearest he gets to his apex. -He'll return the favour, but give him a few minutes. It's hard to go back to Earth when you are in paradise.
Liu Kang: -"It seems you enjoy getting on your knees for your God." He says, lifting your chin up with his index finger, smirk plastered on his face. -Can you tell he is enjoying this? Because he totally does. -One of the few that worry for your jaw, maybe he has seen something in your future? "Thanks, dear one-" He says, brushing away the hair that are stuck on your face "Now it is my turn to thank you."
Geras: -He doesn't feel that much mortal needs, so for sure, he won't ask for that. -But since you seem to enjoy it so much, Geras won't stop you. -But don't be too pushy, Geras is a busy guy, and at times, too much physical touch overwhelms him.
Bi-Han: -You don't have time to act of your own volition that his hand is already grabbing your hair and pushing you on your knees. -It would be terribly rude if Bi-Han didn't do that exactly when you want to go down on him. Does he have a sensor? Do you have a particular look in your eyes? -You'll never know because Bi-Han will rather die than admit that he knows you and your body reaction like the back of his hands. -He will be harsh and fast. If you want to suck him so much, you have to be ready to be used as he prefers. -It won't last long, tho. Bi-Han prefers to be the one on his knees for you.
Kuai Liang: -He is particularly busy with work…doesn't mean he always has a moment for you. -He thanks you the entire time. You don't know how relaxing it is receiving this for Liang. -Like, if you want rough, he can do it, switching pretty fast. -At the end, he'll thank you anyway. -"My little spark, you are amazing. Let me return the favour now."
Tomas Vrbada: -Really? You want to do that to him. Blood is pumping dangerously fast. -It's one of the few moments Tomas has control, so he will be pretty rough. -Tap if it is getting too much! He still isn't used to this and can't control his strength well. -The last thing Tomas wants is to hurt you. He'd feel so bad afterwards that he would avoid you as much as he can. -So sit him down and tell him you'll learn and improve together; a sigh of relief will leave his mouth. -"So…wanna try now?"
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moonlight-prose · 1 year
Note
If you’re taking those as prompts, ❛ don’t you know what you’re doing to me? ❜ with Din perhaps?
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LOVE IS A FIRE THAT BURNS UNSEEN
a/n: so i took forever on this, because i kind of fell out of writing for din for...well....awhile. i can tell you this sat in my wips folder half finished for months. honestly i was wondering if it would even get finished. but i was re-watching mando last night and decided why the fuck not. i can't remember which prompt list this was from because it's been so long, but that's okay. this is not beta read or edited, but we live and die by the pen.
summary: on your list of things that could possibly happen while bounty hunting with din, dying from hypothermia wasn't included. nor was finally admitting the truth to yourself about your feelings.
word count: 3.1k+
pairing: din djarin x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, near death experience, angst, feelings being admitted sort of, p in v sex, a hint of choking, they're so in love it's sickening.
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It’s fucking cold in the Razor Crest as you sit in the cockpit waiting for his return. You’re bundled in a jacket that has seen better days, but even with the extra layers you swear you’ll freeze to death before he comes back. Tempted to turn the ship back on in order to get some heat—you do the most to distract yourself from the frost currently eating away at the skin of your face. Din’s instructions were clear. Keep the ship hidden until he comes back with the bounty, which would be simple enough.
That is if the bounty he was currently hunting resided on a planet with a temperature that wouldn’t kill you from exposure. Everything had been fine two hours ago. You were working on repairing an old comlink as he tracked the bounty through space, having caught their signal on the outer edges of the galaxy. Except then…they were attacked. Neither of you could see who caused it or even why, but suddenly a lone ship was heading into the atmosphere on the one planet you always said you’d rather die than visit.
Hoth—a frozen pit that once housed the Rebellion of all places.
So, there you were. Shivering to gain some warmth as you scanned the area for Din’s signal. If the ship was right, he still remained alive. You only wished you could say the same for yourself by the time he came back.
The cold had begun to seep into your layers, hitting your chest directly and causing you to cough harshly. If he didn’t return within the hour he would find you dead due to hypothermia. Except that’s not what scared you. It was the fact that he would be the one to find you—a man who showed absolutely no interest in you whatsoever.
You weren’t sure when the crush started or even why, but you do know the realization hit you harder than a speeder-bike going at full speed one day while you were sitting beside him in the cockpit. He laughed at something you said, the chuckle low and slightly clipped due to his modulator and that’s what did it. What had you sitting there in shock—eyes wide—as it suddenly dawned on you that…you liked him. A lot more than you would have ever thought before.
“Maker fucking above,” you muttered, your teeth chattering with the words. “Hurry up, bucket head.”
Vaguely you recalled some survival tips from your time as a teenager on Bracca working as a scrapper. Never touch live wires, always look out for yourself, and when stuck in freezing temperatures—layers become your best friend. So, you stumbled out of the cockpit chair and towards the ladder that would lead you to the rest of his ship. Slow small steps were all you could manage as your body went into overdrive to try and keep you warm. Except the ship acted as an icebox rather than a heater.
You could lock yourself in his small cot, burrowing under the blankets he’d bought because of you complaining there wasn’t enough on the ship. But you’d first have to get there. It was a struggle to even climb down the ladder—your breath coming in gasps as your lungs fought against the freezing air. How long had you been sitting up there? You held no answer to the question, because the results were clear to you now; you were up there long enough to lead you right to death’s doorstep.
Dragging yourself along the side of the ship wall, you flinched as the cold metal touched your cheek. You should have gone against his orders and simply turned the ship back on. It would keep you from this—currently fighting against hypothermia as Din took his sweet time coming back.
The sound of the airlock on the door releasing when it opened brought a small flicker of hope to life, burning bright in your chest. But it faded just as quickly as it came. You caught sight of him dragging a half dead bounty up the ramp—his helmet turned towards you—before you collapsed to the ground. Your body shivering in a final attempt to generate enough body heat in order to keep you alive.
His voice calling your name echoed in the back of your mind as you drifted off—the concept of sleep far more enticing than it should be.
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Steady breaths against your bare back was what you woke up—your mind drifting slowly back to reality. Or at least what you thought to be reality. The last thing you could recall was seeing Din’s helmet as your body did what it could to survive. How you ended up in the darkness of his cot, pressed against someone you assumed to be him…naked, was a mystery to you. Perhaps you were still dreaming. This must be how your mind envisioned some form of peace to ease your soul into an afterlife.
“You’re awake.” His voice caught you off guard—the breath in your throat catching.
“How…”
The shift of his body created a low burn of heat to appear at the bottom of your stomach as his arm tightened around your waist—drawing you closer. “You almost stopped breathing when I got back. Your body went into shock from the cold.”
“I was dying,” you said softly, the realization far less jarring than waking beside him in the nude.
He hummed, the low pitch a vibration you felt along your back. “I had to get you warm.”
“So you took off my clothes?” you asked, the smile prominent in your tone.
“Generating enough body heat only works when—”
“Both of us are naked.”
His fingers gripped onto the soft skin of your belly. “Yes,” he replied—voice slightly strained.
Somehow it never registered that he was actually sans armor and clothing until you felt his hand glide further up. The soft skin of his palm turned the spark into a fully formed flame that traveled its way through your body. He was laying beside you…naked. If you concentrated hard enough, you could feel the rise and fall of his stomach against your lower back—his skin soft there too.
Any other time your brain would have short circuited, but the sluggishness from sleep had yet to wear off. It made you rather docile—something you felt oddly grateful for. You were entirely aware, fully conscious of your words and decisions, but the tranquility in your body seemingly spurred you forward. No other time would you be this centered—this sure of yourself—and maybe that’s where you made the mistake, because this was dangerous. Revealing the feelings you’d harbored for months was like poison to your heart…positively lethal.
“Din,” you murmured, the soft heat coming from his body now spreading into yours.
If you knew you’d end up like this after one visit to Hoth, you would have come here a lot sooner.
“Yes?” Even his breath was warm as it brushed across the bare skin of your shoulder. Maker you were close in his bed that was barely big enough for him, let alone you beside him.
“I—” The words caught in the base of your throat, lodging themselves there like a stone you couldn’t swallow. You wanted to say it. Get everything out into the open and be done with it, but your mind seemed to be slowly coming to its senses.
“What is it?”
Closing your eyes, you let out a shuddered breath in the hopes that it would push down the erratic nerves which jumped under your skin. If you chickened out now, you’d never say the words. They’d be your secret—forever trapped in the cage of your heart until it was far too late to confess them. What’s funny is that they seemed like such easy things to say. How hard was it really to say I love you? How much effort did it take? Only you now realized it took a lot more than you expected.
It was far easier to die than to admit your feelings.
“I have to tell you something and I just—” Inhaling, you curled your hand around the blanket beneath you. “I don’t want you to look at me differently if things don’t turn out the way I hope.”
His thumb rubbed a soothing circle against your hip. “I won’t.”
You scoffed. “You probably will.”
The subtle shift of his body against yours caused flutters to go through your heart—rendering you speechless for a moment. He was so close it was maddening. If you had the courage you’d turn around, press yourself to him, and whisper the words against his lips. But you were practically stone, unable to even turn your head slightly to feel the press of his lips against your neck.
“For a while now I’ve felt…well…my feelings towards you have changed.” You blurted them out, hoping it was like ripping off a bandaid. Except the silence of his response hurt more than you expected.
Until—
“I know,” he said, his hand pressing a bit harder on your hip.
Nothing could have prepared you for the shockwave that went through your body. “You know?” you exclaimed.
“I’ve known since our trip to Coruscant.”
You paused, trying to form something to say, but all you could come up with was: “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Why had he let you think he held no feelings towards you? That you were alone in this. You felt him stiffen behind you, his hand pulling away slightly and your heart sank in your chest. Perhaps you had asked the wrong question. Or even touched on a part of this he didn’t want you to see. But you had to know the truth. You knew why you waited—why you couldn’t get the words out for the life of you—but why had he?
That is until he wrapped his arm around your waist tightly, jolting you back towards his body. A soft yelp left you as you tried to refocus yourself in the pitch black space. Except then you felt it. Pressing hard and insistent against your lower back—a part of Din you had only ever imagined, but never seen.
He grunted, his hand splaying across your stomach as you shifted against him. “Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?”
You gasped. “Din—”
“What you’ve been doing?
His hips canted downwards, grinding against you and sending heat sparking up your spine. Enough to combat the cold that still remained in you, but you wanted more. You craved it. Moaning softly, you pushed back against him, pressing your thighs together to hopefully appease the growing ache that formed. Except he was one step ahead of you. Shoving his bare thigh between your legs, he pressed it upwards, grinning at the way your head fell back against his chest—a guttural moan leaving your lips.
“Every day is fucking torture,” he rasped, his hand sliding even lower until his fingers were hovering right above where you needed him most. “Because I can’t touch you.” His lips pressed against the curve of your jaw. “Because I can’t kiss you…”
“Maker,” you gasped, reaching down to wrap your hand around his wrist. “I-I want you to touch me. Want you to kiss me.”
His fingers dipped down even lower, finally parting your folds. A ragged groan was pressed to your jaw, his teeth scraping down against the skin when he found you wet and dripping for him. You could feel his heartbeat against your back. How it was erratic and almost as quick as yours. He was just as nervous as you were—if not more so, because of his creed.
He wanted you to be his, to love him as he was with his creed, but he was scared that this wasn’t permanent. You wanted to show him the inner workings of your mind, the makeup of your heart—how he was seared into it. He was ingrained so deep into your soul that you couldn’t even fathom the thought of being parted from him.
“Are you always this wet for me?” he asked, disbelief clear in his tone.
Nodding, you felt another moan begin to form, only for it to die as he pulled his fingers away. “No—”
“Shh,” he breathed, cupping your jaw as he moved even closer. “I’ll take care of you.”
Heat flooded your stomach, a whine forming in your throat as he pulled you back, the head of his cock now nudging against your entrance. You dug your nails into his forearm, your lips parting to form around his name. A ragged moan echoing in his small quarters, and he began to push forward. Sliding into you slowly as you fought to keep yourself quiet.
“So fucking tight,” he hissed, wrapping his arm around your torso and thrusting into you completely, his hips pressing against your ass. “Won’t last—”
You keened when his hand fell to your clit, circling it with enough pressure to send jolts up your spine. For a moment he simply held himself there. Encompassed in your heat as he worked you over, building your release steadily until you were pressing into him. Your hips rolling against his fingers—fucking yourself on his cock. Soft moans were pressed to your skin, the stubble on his jaw scratching along your shoulder, and that only heightened everything.
For the first time…he was entirely yours. Bare and open as he indulged in something both of you had held back from doing for so long.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you turned your head and caught the corner of his lips in a kiss. Something so tender yet so powerful. It nearly sent you over the edge and you felt Din’s surprise at the action. How his body jolted, his hips nudging forward and fingers stuttering in their motions. Even though he had proudly claimed he wanted to kiss you, to finally feel your lips against his. He had never expected it to come true.
“Cyar'ika,” he breathed.
“I want…” You gasped, hips rolling against his fingers in quick movements as that blinding feeling continued to overtake you. “Kiss me Din. Please, please—”
His mouth found yours in the darkness of his cabin, and you felt your heart scream out. Felt your entire body give into him, his name, his signet forever carved into your heart. He was your future and he knew it. Which is why he kissed you with a fervor that you believed only existed in your dreams—a passion that you felt right down to your toes. His tongue slid along yours, tasting the shitty caf you had earlier—the desperation on your tastebuds.
“Ah…” You tried to form the words on your tongue. The feelings that were trapped in your heart, but they refused to be let loose.
“I know you want to cum,” he breathed, fingers speeding up as your walls began to flutter around his cock. His other hand shifted, wrapping gently around your throat to keep your face close to his. Pressing down lightly as you gasped. “Let me feel it.”
A keening broken moan of his name ripped from you, hands scrabbling to grasp for something, settling for his arm that kept you pressed against him. White flashed behind your closed eyes, his lips swallowing every sound you made as you writhed against him. Gushing around his cock.
You didn’t hear the hoarse shout that he pressed into your mouth, his hips thrusting into you quickly as he followed you off the edge. Filling you with a warmth that you swore you felt  in your chest. Biting down on his bottom lip you sucked into your mouth, moaning when he canted his hips forward, prolonging the sparks that ran up your spine. He was a panting mess and you tried to picture what he looked like.
Was his hair a mess? Were his cheeks stained red? Were his lips swollen?
The urge to simply open your eyes nearly overtook you, but you understood what came with that action. What would have to happen afterwards. Din had explained enough for you to grasp the basic details of what being a Mandalorian meant. So you kept them closed and opted to simply feel. You memorized how his lips against yours felt, what being full of him felt like.
You kept what you could nestled against your heart, remaining here for as long as possible. Din’s cock softened in you, twitching every now and then when your walls fluttered. But you solely had him to blame. Because he was running his hand along your body, grazing your nipples lightly before pulling away—the familiar feelings in your stomach stirring once more. If he wasn’t careful neither of you would be leaving this bed for quite some time.
Which didn’t bode well for you seeing as how you hated the planet you currently resided on.
“Din,” you breathed, pulling away to catch your breath before he dived down again—ready for round two of the hottest makeout session you’d partaken in.
“You want to leave,” he panted. There was something scary about how he could see your thoughts so clearly. You’d have to ask him about it later.
“No…” Your head fell back against his shoulder. “I want to stay here, but Hoth.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “We can stay here for as long as you want.”
Half expecting him to pull out and place his helmet back in its rightful place, you were a bit surprised when he remained put. Curling himself around you closer until his body perfectly molded yours. The cold still remained in the ship—the heaters unable to counteract the snowy planet—yet you found that you were perfectly content to remain right where you were. Wrapped in his arms—the certainty of your future now nestled in his heart. Mimicking yours in every way.
“Din,” you breathed in the darkness, feeling him trace something along your waist.
“Yes?”
“I just wanted to say…” You took in a breath, trying to calm the racing of your heart. “I feel like you should hear me say it.”
He pressed a kiss to your temple, his fingers pressing down. “I know cyar'ika. I feel the same way.”
“You do?” you asked softly.
“I do.”
You settled into the bed, allowing your muscles to relax and your body to once more give into the temptation of sleep. With Din right there, you felt as if you were able to finally relax. To give in and allow yourself to float.
“You know…” You yawned, feeling his chin settle against your shoulder. “Maybe Hoth isn’t so bad.”
He smiled, his lips brushing along your skin as you drifted off, mind succumbing to the sweet snare of unconsciousness. “No,” he breathed, continuing to trace the shape of his signet on your skin, because whether you wore it or not…you were a part of his clan. His life. “It’s not.”
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saerins · 1 year
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─── 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓
+ nagi seishiro x f!reader | wc 3.2k | content: fluff, ngl i was too lazy to proof this, childhood friends to lovers, canon-compliant (i tried), yn’s parents are just bad
notes: me ?? writing someone other than sae ?? wild . but it’s my first try at nagi so pls have mercy :’) feedbacks/reblogs appreciated !! <3
summary: it’s a little more difficult for nagi to realise his feelings compared to the average man.
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i. fleeting moment
nagi seishiro was your first kiss, age ten on the swings of your backyard.
you’re only friends by chance. he was a loner on the swings in the public playground and you have a habit of picking up strays. (but until then, it had been limited to animals and not humans.)
yeah, yeah, maybe having a first kiss at the young age of ten is a little alarming, but it’s not like nagi is a bad person. if anything, he was just trying to shut you up. probably, maybe. (and it wasn’t with tongue, if anyone needs the specifics.)
“if you keep crying that loudly i won’t be able to hear my game,” nagi grumbled, eyes glued to his screen. apparently he was playing some pseudo horror game where four fighters run from a single hunter and apparently he needed to listen to the sounds to know when to run.
but really, you were ten and crying because some other boy bullied you in the playground, saying how you were so ugly and that no boy would ever wanna kiss you. given all of that, why would you even care about nagi’s stupid game?
if he didn’t want to be bothered, he shouldn’t have chased you all the way back home.
“but seishiro, am i really ugly?” you were ten and in need of immediate validation while nagi was in need of your immediate silence.
he didn’t even look up. “that’s subjective.”
even when he was young he had a smart mouth that would be able to break you.
“well then what do you think?” because honestly, even at that point, you thought nagi seishiro was handsome; he was the face claim you used to imagine all your scenarios at night before you went to sleep.
he was your knight in shining armor, coming to break you free from the cage which was your life and obligations. he was your prince charming who’d rescue you above all else. heck, sometimes he was mario and you were princess peach.
seishiro groaned when the screen shows game over and honestly, he really did think it was all your fault because he couldn’t hear anything over your incessant wailing. but then he looked at you for the first time after you cried and had the recurring thought that he didn’t want to be the reason for you to keep on crying.
“yeah, you’re pretty.”
and he puts his lips on yours like it’s no big deal.
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ii. unreciprocated
fifteen is when you’re most rebellious. it’s a sickness you get from none other than mikage reo.
your family and the mikages go way back. they’d been family friends for such a long time. a part of you feels it’s not genuine, blinded by the fact that they’re always business partners and everything else stemmed from that one simple fact.
you started to play hooky from business dinners, started to say fuck off to rude old geasers who truly didn’t deserve a single dime they got.
all you ever got in return was your father’s temper and your mother’s cowardice and reo’s praises. most of all you at least had nagi’s shoulder to cry on. (he’s learned to bring along his earpiece just in case he had to meet you or accidentally bumped into you.)
“they all sicken me,” was what reo told you when you asked about his family in relation to their business. you could sympathise. sometimes all you could feel from your parents were that they treated you as a next-in-line rather than just daughter. and almost everyone around you made you feel like you were just a moneybag.
what reo felt shouldn’t have been too far off. except you thought he had it better; at least all his parents did was try to spoil him while not-so-subtly training him up to be the next ceo. he at least didn’t suffer at the hands of foul tempers and verbal abuse.
no one should have to.
“oh shit! i gotta go soon,” you realised, noticing that it was almost six and you’d made plans with nagi.
reo cocked a brow, “y/n l/n, you have other friends?”
you knew he was joking, but that didn’t stop you from landing the hardest punch you could on his arms. “hey, i’m not that inept at socialising okay?”
sure, you’d started taking caution with making friends because most of them were just after one thing: money. even at this age. which is crazy to you, at least, but you felt you had no right to think that. not when all the money you wanted was still at your disposal.
but you weren’t actually bad at making friends. it was just that maybe most people weren’t even worth the effort.
“they’re good to you, right?”
you took a moment to decide before you eventually nodded. “yeah, for sure.”
nagi was… weird, for you. but in the good sense. yeah, he’d open his mouth and ask you for money which at least told you he was honest. even if you rejected him, though, he was still beside you.
“man, what a hassle,” he grumbled when you wouldn’t buy any more food. he was broke, which meant he couldn’t eat anymore too if you didn’t buy some.
the two of you still never talked about that kiss. it never happened again, to your dismay.
you were a teen, and screw stupid teen hormones for driving you to ask him.
“hey sei, we’re good friends, right?”
“huh?” nagi was already fixated on his phone. probably some new game you didn’t know about. his earpieces were ready, around his neck. “uh, i guess?”
but that was not good enough for your feisty fifteen-year-old self.
“sei, i’m serious! would you be sad if one day we weren’t friends anymore?”
back then you didn’t know what you were doing. back then you didn’t think to yourself what it was, really, that you were trying to get out of him. maybe it was validation, and maybe it was just boredom.
you really just wanted to know nagi cared.
all he did was shrug, brows furrowed in annoyance. “that’s life, isn’t it? sometimes friends drift and sometimes they don’t.”
throwing wisdom around as if that was what you needed. and it was unfair to expect anything out of nagi as it was, but that didn’t stop you from throwing a tantrum and storming off.
(he watched you as you left, and there was something unsettling about the sight of your back moving so far away.)
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iii. turning point
the world is small.
when you were sixteen you realised that the so called treasure reo told you he found was a human, who so happened to be your friend—nagi seishiro.
teeny tiny.
they also both happened to be picked by the JFU to go to blue lock. which you only found out after they’d both been gone for a week.
it didn’t surprise you though—they were both talented. it was only right they got picked. though, they also happened to be the only two people you would hang out with, so by default you felt lonely.
but at sixteen you’d learned to suck it up, hide your feelings. everything was okay—as long as you deceived yourself so. your parents were the same; overbearing and breathing down your neck and now that reo was not around for you and nagi couldn’t be your confidant, it felt much worse than usual.
everything was a transaction and you felt suffocated. it made you appreciate nagi’s unfiltered honesty and reo’s unwavering loyalty to whatever you dedicated yourself to.
“at least that reo boy has some other talents like that foolish soccer he plays,” your father berated over dinner. “and here my daughter is, good for nothing yet expects us to believe her when she says she can make a living outside of our company.”
and if you’d had other close friends, they would’ve told you that sixteen was too young to be sure what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. they’d have said your parents were unreasonable and that they were the fools.
but you didn’t. and the only friends you had weren’t around. so you ate it up. you clenched your fists where your parents couldn’t see and let them run their mouth. or, in your mother’s case, stay silent while your father made unreasonable arguments.
“and that nagi boy you hang out with,” your father turned his focus to him, “all he reeks of is laziness. i don’t get why you have to hang out with him all the time. inviting that oaf into our house like he’s welcome.”
that time your fists hit the table and you didn’t even expect it. it hurt because of how hard you hit but nothing could beat the hurt your father inflicted on your heart.
you found you couldn’t say anything, only because your father’s eyes were wide with rage at your outburst and you were still the same scared girl inside at age four when he first raised his voice at you.
“i-i’m sorry,” you choked out, which was pathetic but you didn’t want to end up murdered in your own house.
your father scoffed. “get your stupid head out of your ass or you’re cut off.”
the only time you could do that was when nagi and reo finally got their first break out of blue lock. you occupied their time for the most of it, listened to them going on and on about the matches that went on inside. though reo seemed a little mad at nagi, a little awkward around him, for some reason you weren’t privy to.
“i’m gonna head home first,” and reo was gone with the wave of a hand, something about having to settle something at home—probably nothing good.
maybe it was the lovestruck idiot in you talking, but you’d made peace with the fact that maybe you had a small crush on nagi seishiro, judging by how you acted around him. maybe it was that idiot that made you want to spend all of his free time together.
“guess i’ll see you tomorrow too?” sue you, you were just trying to shoot your shot.
nagi put his phone in his pocket, for once, and you were struggling to remain standing as he held eye contact with you, calm gray eyes the bane of your existence. “mmm can’t, gotta meet isagi and the rest.”
isagi, a name you’d just learned earlier—apparently nagi thought he was strong and chose his team. maybe that was why reo was mad.
“oh, okay then.” you’d ask for the next day, but you didn’t want to get rejected twice. besides, nagi would probably just prefer playing games and resting at home. you were just friends, after all.
“was thinking we could get dinner though,” nagi told you, hands in his pockets as the both of you walked down the street.
that was the first time he ever extended an effort, you remember. and suddenly life wasn’t that bad anymore.
it was also the first time nagi asked you to feed him, not because he was playing some game but on purpose.
and you didn’t know how it turned out that way, but he ended up taking up all of your time. it was the only reason you had the ability to fill him in on your family, and he actually listened. and, like reo, he said “fuck them.”
maybe that was the point you realised maybe he did care.
but for a girl at seventeen just concerned with romance and happiness, it was paradise—until of course he went back to blue lock, taking your heart with him.
(what you both failed to realise was that he left his with you.)
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iv. slow realisation
in the bleachers of his first match out of blue lock, nagi seishiro spots you easily in the front row—wearing his jersey and number, when did you buy that?
doesn’t change the fact that nagi likes seeing it on you. he’s not familiar with the feeling, but it’s equivalent to saying you like him the most, which feels great if he’s honest to himself.
what he doesn’t like is the guy next to you. sharp jawline and spiky hair wearing a business suit and his raven eyes are always peeking at you out of the corner. does he like you?
but the whistle blows and nagi forgets about you for a little over ninety minutes. he’s going to show you he can win this, with you watching from the front row, and he’ll show you why he’s the best and that other guys in business suits don’t matter.
after the game reo makes a big deal out of the fact you’re wearing nagi’s jersey and not his, and nagi finds out the guy with you was someone your dad wanted to hook you up with.
twisted business marriages.
“i’m just going out with him to shut my father up,” you admit to nagi when you’re both finally alone. (aka, after you’ve convinced reo to pry him away and leave you two alone.)
nagi’s not used to this. what’s this relief he feels? “oh, good to know,” is all he says because he doesn’t even understand himself.
he isn’t even sure why he’s here in the first place, walking you home. he’s not sure why reo left when he could’ve driven all of you home instead of just mr business-suit-guy.
“how’s it feel now, to be mr popular?” you’re not even sure why you’re asking. maybe because you feel like the gap between you and nagi grew so wide in such a short period of time and you’d do anything to hear him say that he’s still the same seishiro you knew.
your seishiro.
nagi only shrugs, “dunno. don’t really feel the difference.”
because really, apart from the fact that he’s much more busy, he’s still him—playing games when he’s free, texting you because that happens to fall in the list of things he likes to do now, and well, the only difference he feels is—he takes a peek to his side—you, somehow.
not because of anything you do in particular, but he feels different somehow. and he can’t make sense of it. he never can. how’s he supposed to? no one ever warned him about shit like this.
“uh, nagi? have you ever thought that maybe you like her?” reo tells him over the phone later that night, a little baffled by the things his usually detached friend just told him.
“you like her too though,” nagi retorts.
reo sighs, wondering how nagi ever made it to where he is. “not in the same way.”
“what do you mean?”
“figure it out yourself.”
nagi hangs up, thinking he already has it figured out. he also thinks reo will keep his mouth shut.
he doesn’t.
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v. requited
it’s funny how reo rushed to call you that night, right after nagi basically told him (without saying it explicitly) that he has a crush on you.
but it’s also funny how it’s been three months since then and nagi still hasn’t said anything about it. you play ignorant around him, waiting and waiting for him to admit it himself.
evidently it’s not working.
tonight you’re just watching him on the screen, cheering him on from the other side of the world because despite being from a rich family you can’t just up and leave to another country as and when you feel like it.
besides, you’ve made peace with your parents; you’d learn about the family business willingly as long as they stopped interfering with your personal life. they surprisingly agreed.
nagi and reo win, as you expected, and as usual, the cameras trail their team as they celebrate on the field, their captain having tore his shirt off to celebrate that they’d won the tournament. it’s not long before the camera pans back to nagi, a few reporters already surrounding him.
“so nagi, how do you feel right now?”
“great,” he answers, with a sexy amount of enthusiasm. he’s rarely ever enthused, but you find it so much more attractive when he is.
nagi has his phone in his hand, you notice, and you immediately fish for yours. he’d texted you right before they started hounding him.
are you watching?
you smile as you type back.
no. congrats on becoming champions! 🫶🏼
“nagi nagi, who would you like to dedicate this win to?” the reporters are all clambering to get a chance to question him.
“oh i don’t know,” nagi says, and you catch him looking at your message before looking back at the camera. “i guess i’ll dedicate this one to this girl i like.”
you nearly spit out your drink.
“wait, does this mean you’re involved with someone? tell us, who is it!”
all the reporters get excited, and understandably, since nagi’s probably just about given them the biggest scoop for the month. they’re all looking at him, money signs in their eyes, while your jaw drops open as he overshares with the entire world.
“oh, y/n l/n, she’s been my friend since forever and i don’t know… i kinda like her a lot,” he’s saying all this earnestly, a hand scratching his neck and a blush creeping on his face, though he doesn’t look the least bit fazed.
you rush to find his chat thread.
nagi, what the fuck!!!
you did NOT just say my name on live tv!!!
on the screen, he openly looks at your messages before typing a reply as the reporters hound him for more details.
oh shit, m i not supposed to?
“nagi, is she the one texting you right now?”
and like the honest guy he is, he nods. “oh yeah, think she’s mad at me right now.”
you curl up under your blanket, flustered because nagi is way too open and way too precious.
“would you like to say anything here to her now?”
nagi looks off camera and hums in contemplation before finally deciding on a response.
“hey y/n, tomorrow i’m gonna make you mine okay? so just wait for me.”
reo finally drags him away and towards the rest of his team and his interview ends there. you switch the television off, half mortified and half flattered. your phone blows up with most of your contacts gushing over what nagi said.
leave it up to nagi seishiro to have feelings for you, not realise it until years later, not tell you in the whole three months before this and yet announces it and your full name to the entire world on live television.
in spite of how flabbergasted you are, there’s a warm sensation blooming underneath your chest, a comfort that you’ve always been looking for finally fulfilled. there’s a certain endearment in the way nagi realises and professes his feelings.
you pull up his messages again.
you better keep your word, sei.
it doesn’t take him long to respond.
don’t worry, i’ll make you mine.
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year
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The Lin Kuei trio + Raiden reacting to their usually nice, compassionate, and generally nurturing s/o suddenly looks at an enemy and goes "You have five f**king seconds before I rip open your stomach and turn your innards into a noose." And proceeds to do just that to frightening effect?
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First time writing for Raiden, so hell probably be ooc and some shitty character writing to be made aware of 😂 🦦
Tomas Vrbada
Honestly didn’t see that coming.
He guessed that what he got for judging a book by it’s cover and Tomas learnt that rather fast upon seeing you destroy your opponent in frightening quick succession. So upon seeing your sweet tender smile afterwards whilst covered in blood was bone chilling to Tomas, knowing that someone so sweet, so kind, so caring and nurturing like you had the ability to switch up to a more vicious and violent version persona.
Tomas would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t find you covered in someone else’s blood extremely attractive. So you best mark him down as scared and horny because holy shit.
Like Raiden, he felt the need to protect you and keep you within range of him, but that’s mainly because he’s absolutely terrified of losing you like he lost his family. So he knew that he could come across as overbearing at time when it came to keeping you safe, but you knew that it all came from a good place, and that Tomas was trying so hard to avoid a repetition of in his past to happen to you; So upon learning that you didn’t in fact need his help in keeping you safe, he allows himself to relax a little and ease off of you in fear of being the next person you pummel.
To which he knew wouldn’t be the case but that pent up anger you displayed must’ve come from somewhere.
Tomas came to accept that the hands that he came to love and admire whilst melting within their warm, tender and nurturing hold as they cupped his face, also possessed the ability to mane and destroy just as easily as they could heal and mend his broken heart and patch up his open wounds from intensive missions.
Kuai Liang
Surprised but honestly wonders where it was that you had learnt to defend yourself and in that brutal fashion.
So while everyone else was taken aback when you inevitably unleash hellfire upon your opponents to frightening effect. Kuai Liang on the other hand was only feeling sorry for the poor bastard on the receiving end of your vicious blows, they looked like they fucking hurt that Kuai Liang was for certain on.
Upon first meeting you, Kuai Liang genuinely believed that you either had no prior experience in combat, or just held a distain towards all things violent and purposefully adhere it all together; Not that he was claiming that was a bad thing. It was just a rarity to come across someone like you. To the point where Kuai Liang would often worried that someday someone would sniff this out, before then proceeding to taking advantage and manipulate you into shady business under the pretences of doing good.
He didn’t want to tarnish your kind, caring and loving nature by bringing this up in fear that it would only make you think negatively, and or ashamed of yourself, which would never ever be his primary intention. Kuai Liang was too aware of the horrible people that blended within the shadows and lurked in dark alleyways, so therefore he didn’t want you getting involved in something that would alter you into a person that you would forever hate ever becoming.
Knowing now that you could fully protect yourself if the instance ever did arrive, Kuai Liang would only become more adamant in helping you incorporate moves of self defence into your arsenal, so you’ll always be ready for near enough anything if he wasn’t able to be with you.
Bi-Han
He is proud as all hell.
While your vulgar threat made his brows raise in slight surprise but mainly curiosity, having wondered where this side chaotic and violent of you had came from, but ultimately took a sickening form of satisfaction of seeing you back up your words by utterly decimating your enemy with doing what you forewarned was about to happen; He might as well looked like an utter mad man with how much attention he was giving, good lord.
He’s giving your fighting style an close and in-depth examination, taking notes on everything that you did good and everything that you could use some improvement upon with his help as though he was locked within a high intensity game of chess! Someone was getting brutally pulverised and yet Bi-Han could only watch on with genuine intrigue on articulating methods in to making you even more deadly in combat.
He’s seen a golden opportunity and he would be stupid to let it go now.
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Raiden
Scared and horny 2.0
Poor baby is taken aback by your vicious side.
However he would still hold your hand as though they were made of porcelain as he takes a wet cloth and cleans away the blood and viscera from your knuckles to take care of your bruises that lied beneath from brutally beating down your enemy. You’re still the kind, caring and nurturing person he knows and loves, you just got some added qualities that’s all!
Even though your caring and nurturing nature often made you look weak and in constant need of defending in the eyes of others, Raiden didn’t see it the way that they did. While yes he felt this obligation to keep you out of harms way and keep you close, that’s just how Raiden is as a person to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves. And that was in no way shape or form meant to be taken as him disregarding your ability to protect yourself.
That wasn’t his intention and if you did believe that were the case. Then he would have no qualms in reminding you of how much he trusts you to protect yourself, even going so far as to sight this as a major example of that. Your fighting style may be consistent of the usage of deadly and lethal force but Raiden knew that you wouldn’t willingly use it against just anybody, only using it as a method of self defence first and foremost, unless further provoked into engaging in a full altercation.
Much like Tomas, Raiden probably also thought that you being covered in someone else’s blood was attractive in it’s own regard.
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cloudyyoimiya · 1 year
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Forced Photography; Nikolai Gogol
Format: Oneshot
Possible warnings: Yandere content, dark themes, unhealthy relationships, violence, manipulation
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Click!
The sound of a professional camera pierced through the normally quiet atmosphere. For some reason unknown to you, today was special to Nikolai. The clown never voiced why it was special to him, but he seemed adamant on staying with you the entire day.
Click!
The camera shuttered once more, leaving a slightly bitter taste in your mouth. You always hated it when Nikolai took pictures of you. It made you feel antsy, twitchy, discombobulated… many negative emotions.
Click!
You were currently dressed up in a rather fancy outfit. You would have never worn something so… expensive in your old life, but because of your captor constantly stealing from high class stores, your wardrobe only consisted of classy clothing.
Part of you thought it was a nice gesture, but the other part of you argued that it was disgusting that he’d just so casually commit a crime for your sake. Your internal debate was surly going to drive you mad sooner or later.
Click!
You forced yet another smile as you sat still on the bed you were situated on. You didn’t dare more in fear of angering your captor.
Click!
“Oh! This one has to be my new favorite!” Your captor exclaimed to you as he looked at the camera screen. “You look stunning, dove!”
You remained silent as Nikolai fawned over your appearance in the photograph. One of the many lessons you learned while staying with Nikolai was to remain quiet when he was gushing about how much he loved you.
If you ever told him to stop or told him that you found it weird, then you would be punished. You unfortunately found this out the hard way.
“Ah, can’t I just take one more? Please? Pretty please with sprinkles on top?” Nikolai asked, giving you puppy dog eyes.
You looked at him and gave him a fake smile. “Yes, of course. Take as many as you want!”
Your words made your captor smile rather largely. You could see majority of his teeth, his canines sticking out to you the most. They were sharp and on the bigger side, but they were nowhere near the size of a certain vampire’s you know.
…Click!
The shudder of the camera sounded once more. Nikolai looked at the picture of you on the screen with the same sickening smile on his face.
“Ah, you look so lovely, my little birdie! I wish you could look like this forever and ever!” Your captor exclaimed in a slightly chilling tone, insinuating something sinister.
Was he going to kill you?
No, no. Nikolai has stated that he could never bring himself to kill you.
He said that the feeling of guilt would be far worse than the feeling of love.
…But could he have lied to you?
You weren’t sure.
You doubted that you would ever be sure.
“You already have me, so you might as well doll me up as much as you want. I’ll stay lovely, just for you, Kolya,” you spoke with a sickeningly sweet tone of voice.
Nikolai suddenly wrapped both of his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your neck. He then started to giggle like a schoolgirl. It honestly disturbed you to think that despite everything he has done to you, he can still laugh. Maybe he’s not as sane as he says he is.
“Ah, thank you, thank you! You’re so sweet, my little birdie! I love you so much!” He said, continuing to giggle into your neck.
“I love you too,” you murmured.
Nikolai practically squealed at your response. “Really?! You love me back?!”
You nodded, forcing a fake smile onto your face. “Of course I do. You’ve done so much for me.”
“Ah, that makes me so happy!” He exclaimed. He then started to pepper your face in soft butterfly kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you! Oh, please never leave me! I would never forgive myself if I ever let you escape my grasp! My wonderful little birdie, never leave my side!”
“I would never leave you,” you spoke in an almost robotic tone.
Nikolai never did like it when you lied, but he did like it when you lied about your love for him. Maybe it was some sick way of him feeding into his delusions of you loving him back, or maybe it was because he thought he could condition you into loving him. Either way, it was still off putting.
Nikolai continued to giggle and press small kisses all over your face. “You’re so sweet! My sweet little dove, I cannot wait for the day the both of us become free! Nothing will stop our love from blossoming even further! Oh, I’m so excited!”
You stayed silent. It was best to let him bask in his own delusions.
Your captor kissed your cheek one last time, then pulled away. He looked at you with his same old large smile, and let out a small giggle.
And then he stopped.
He put a stern expression on his face.
It was chilling.
“Hmm… I think my birdie lied to me!”
You tensed up. “What? No, I would never lie to you…!”
“You lied again!” He sighed. “Haven’t I told you about how I absolutely loath lying? I can’t stand it!”
“I know you hate it. That’s why I don’t lie to you,” you spoke, trying to keep a level head.
“You’re lying yet again! I thought I taught you better than that, my beloved!”
You gulped. You knew what was coming now.
“I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!” You started to plead. “Please forgive me!”
Nikolai sighed and put his hand into his overcoat. He then drew out a knife that he had placed across the room earlier.
“Hm… Do you deserve it?” He said as he pointed the knife to your face. “I don’t think you do. My little birdie has been trying to butter me up so I can lower my guard. Then you’d escape from me! We can’t have that, now can we?”
“That wasn’t my—“ you stopped yourself for a moment. If you lied again, it most likely wouldn’t have ended up pretty. “Yes. That was my intention. I’m sorry!”
Nikolai gave you a suspicious look. He then lowered the knife, putting it adjacent to his right thigh.
He suddenly smiled once more.
“You’re learning! Good!” He spoke as he threw the knife away to the other side of the room. It now rested by a nearby boarded up window. “I’m so proud of you!”
You stayed silent as your body shivered. You could feel your breath getting shallower and shallower, most likely from you starting to panic from his sudden mood swing.
Nikolai took note of this and continued to smile at you. You knew he was a clown and a terrorist, but you were starting to think he was bipolar as well. No normal person could suddenly change their mood so quickly.
“Oh, is my dove scared?” He asked you as he hugged you. You could feel his muscular arms squeezing your body. It made you feel sick. “Im so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! Or maybe I did! Who knows…”
You stayed silent. Nikolai sighed as a result of that.
“No more lies, okay? I don’t like it when my dove lies to me. It makes me really sad!” He said, his voice lowering to a whisper. “Understand?”
“…I understand.”
“Good! Now, can I get back to taking your pictures?! They make me so happy!”
“Fine. Go ahead…”
Nikolai giggled yet again and grabbed his camera once more. He then put it into his overcoat and had it appear above of you.
Gold swirled around his wrists as he used his ability. It was very pretty, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to willingly compliment your captor. If he forced you to compliment him though, that would be a different story.
“Look up and smile!” He laughed.
You did just as you were told. You looked up into the camera’s lens and forced a weak smile onto your face. You current expression seemed to please Nikolai to some extent since he didn’t tell you to smile… “better.”
Click!
Nikolai brought the camera back out of his overcoat and looked into the screen of the camera. He made somewhat of a happy sound then looked back at you.
“This one has to be my new favorite! You’re so cute, my dear!”
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this is unedited. apologies for any errors
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angelic-dew · 1 year
Note
Hiya!! Can I please get some Sekido smut please? If you can, can it be a bit short (i know some of your fics are long) with an afab reader!
PRETTY PLEASE. I will get on my knees. 😍
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˚₊���꒰ wanting desire.☆꒱‧₊˚.!
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✧༉‧₊˚୨ 🍓 ୧・author note :: way to expose me anon,, i tried to keep it short, still ended up being long so you do have a point ;-;
✧༉‧₊˚୨ 🍷 ୧・pairing :: sekido x afab reader — {you/your pronouns}
✧༉‧₊˚୨ 💌 ୧・summary + word count :: after going so long without feeling eachother's touch, your beloved demon lost control and took you right then and there for a pleasurable night. + [1327] words. smut.
✧༉‧₊˚୨ ⚡ ୧・trigger warnings :: smut. degradation. sex in the wilderness. rough intercourse. edging. marking. biting. hickeys. grammatical errors || children please leave, 18+ content. proofread.
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“A-ahh~! Sekido! Be gentler, please darling!” That’s all that was heard, the high pitch wail that stretched far throughout the quiet, serene atmosphere. A cry of pure pleasure that was, one that captivated such content and dispersed such need, desire, such utter thirst for the pleasure to have more. Your words were nothing but veritable lies.
 Falsity. It was evident in the lewd expression that only remained permanently on your face, never leaving for even the smallest fraction of a second for the sheer lust you felt was too much to simply even emit from under those filthy lips of yours. Your face only crinkled as a wide grin plastered itself along your face; the feeling only grew increasingly and at a rapid rate. 
You weren’t even sure if you were able to properly function at all at this rate. Your words were almost utter mush and gibberish rolled up together to form a stuttered mess filled with moans of passion and heavy, sharp breaths.
By the grace of God, you managed to utter a few words here or there but nothing one could truly make out at this rate. You didn’t like this feeling, it was all too much pleasure to be indulged in! But you can’t even deny it even if your entire existence honestly depended on it, it felt amazing. 
Was this like a guilty pleasure to you at this point? Surely it had to be. 
You could only wonder what lead you to this predicament. Was it your needs that became too much to bare? Was it the fact you haven’t felt in touch in which was absolute eons now? Truthfully, it just happened. But how could you complain about this sensation, it felt almost surreal yet so nostalgic again, your hot-tempered lover finally making the time to have one’s pleasure with his beloved human was surely a dream come true, to be frank. 
Well, he had pent-up rage for how long now? I would assume those numbers wouldn’t matter nor did it need to, all that mattered was what was happening at present.
Sexual tension and so much anger that has been built up? Could you dream of anything better? His touch was so rough, like needles and so coarse yet you felt a sense of ease. Was it the endless amount of delight being washed over you tenfold by the moment?
So many questions, so few answers; but why would these questions need answers? You needed him and he needed you more than you could ever imagine. That's all the answers you needed. 
“Fuck yeah, you damn whore- Take all my cock the fucking little slut you are for me,” the demon of anger deeply bellowed under his breath, his voice laced with lascivious and of course an animalistic nature as it snapped you back to reality instantly; your little mind bubble popped. 
Your vision was a complete mess as everything became hazy and blurred as warm tears of pleasure welled up in your eyes like a little waterfall getting ready to pour down warm, salty tears at any moment.
The blush that deeply resembled your lover’s eyes tinted your cheeks with the rosy pigment rather nicely, complimenting your skin tone; the warmth of it being almost sickening as it could barely be controlled.
You felt the soft yet spikey grass underneath your body jab at your back once more like little fern-green needles from the earth. The glacier gust of the gale was almost chilling as it passed through the air aimlessly, almost as if it caressed your sweaty body, your nipples became chafed. Only pleasing the crimson eyes of the demon looming over you. 
“Could you be any more slutty? What did I even get myself into? Do you even know what you are to me? A fucking cockslut that wants my dick, that’s what you are,” Sekido spoke once more this time, more arousal shrouding his words as he gripped your thighs that messily rested upon his mocha shoulders.
His sharp, serrated nails sink into your flesh as the further he tightens his grip, the mad man-like grin which permanently stained his face grew just a tad bit. He had stamina for days at this point, it felt like you two were at it for ages. 
Your slimy walls just squeezed tightly around his meaty, fat length. “So sensitive..” that was more of a murmur from under his breath, however, utter excitement was laced through the words.
His thrusts we repetitive and had some sort of a rhythm to them, deep and consistent yet rough to the very last T. A perfect combination. Nor was he anything from slow and gentle, fast and filled with desire, but it felt passionate in some form or another.
Your cunt felt itself tightening further, more and more around his thick member that eagerly slammed into you continuously, not breaking rhythm for even the slightest second. “Mm- I’m gonna cum s-soon!” that's all you could muster to say, that wasn’t all gibberish controlled by satisfaction. Your body trembled by his every touch, and that's what he liked, what he loved, what he craved. Like a glutton, he was for your reactions and smutty little expressions. 
“You fucking lil bitch, you like what daddy’s giving you, hm? Could you get any more dirty?” he teased you but more degradation was hinted. He was right, maybe you were but just for him, what’s the harm in it then? Really, what’s the harm in indulging in the bliss he provides for his darling slut?
Your obscured gaze didn’t help at all, the tears only continue to make this worse. However, you can make out a vague yet pleasant sight before you, the lovely form of your lover pounding deeply into your cunt, each thrust in an honest attempt to loosen your walls up.
His upper body was muscular but not over the top with muscles; his pecs were laced with various hickeys and bite marks so were his neck and collarbone, almost as if they were matching, but who’s to say you didn't look like you weren’t just attacked by an octopus.
Love bites were scattered along your entire figure, from your stomach to your neck. Peppered to perfection with many bites which marked what was his, you belong to him and him alone. 
“Fuck- such a naughty whore, aren’t you?” he said playfully as salty sweat cascaded ever so slowly down his body. He felt himself getting closer and closer with each slam into your wet cunt he did. The throbbing became unbearable for him at this rate but you had to make a mess first. 
Your nails seeped deeply into his mocha flesh, leaving behind little crescents implanted in his skin in their way. Your walls clamped harder in anticipation and so did your thighs tighten. The burning pool of heat and excitement built up steadily in the pit of your stomach as he whispered such filthy words into your ear. Words of such lust yet they were shaming you. 
His thrusts were fierce and rough, no trace of him slowing down could be accounted for was detected as well. The immense pleasure was edging you so much to reach your final climax; it was all just too much. How could you not give him what he wanted when he was giving you more than enough? 
It wasn’t long after you came all over him he that stuffed your wet, stretched-out centre completely. The thick but oozy consistency was to die for as it gradually spilt away from your poor hole. He was most certainly pleased as well, more or less proud as a matter of fact. He made you tremble beneath him and want his touch, pride definitely shot up in him at the sight of your abused cunt. 
As the soft prattle of the stream close by filled the atmosphere, you knew, the night had only just begun for you.
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© angelic-dew :: please don't translate or reclaim without permission! Reblogs will be appreciated though! <3
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wannabehockeygf · 2 months
Note
22 with connor dewar 👀
Trance - Connor Dewar
“Might give her a chance, it’s givin’ her,
Out in a trance, it’s givin’ her.”
Prompt #22: “Are you trying to make me hard?”
Summary: On a couples getaway with your boyfriend and his best friend and girlfriend, you find yourself by the fire with him, wanting to take the next step in your relationship
Word count: 4k… got a little carried away
Pairing: Connor Dewar x fem!reader
Warnings: fingering (f receiving), non-consensual voyeurism (basically doing naughty things in front of others without them knowing), dom/sub dynamic
Notes:
- first prompt request thank u brave soul
- I’ve been wanting to write more heavy power dynamic stuff and doing it with Dewey felt wrong… but it looks pretty nice tbh
- and there’s also power dynamic switching
- also duhaime mention because even tho I didn’t know who he was before dewar was traded to the leafs I love his goofy ass
- my eyes skimmed over this. not really proof read !
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side profile… dewey 2 fucks
***
The first time you met Connor and he introduced himself, you honestly found it kind of annoying that he would talk about home so much. How much small town superiority could a person even muster that it got to that extent?
Well, as you got to know him, you figured out it wasn’t a superiority. He genuinely just liked the calm, the atmosphere, and the familiarity of home, and letting people know about it was just a small part of his love language.
So, when he invited you back home for a couples getaway with his best friend and his girlfriend, you were excited. The town wasn’t much to sneeze at, sure, but when Connor surprised you, saying that he rented a cabin by Clearwater Lake for the weekend, all you wanted to do was kiss him all over.
Badly. Because the two of you hadn’t even had sex yet.
You didn’t even know why, and it was killing you that this straight out of heaven guy that somehow chose you, of all people, hadn’t even attempted to go past a little bit of kissing.
And you’d tried, oh, you tried to let him know you wanted more, but all he wanted to do was be sweet. Take you out on dates, buy you flowers, and double-check you were okay with it every time he wanted to do something as simple as hold your hand.
It was frankly sickening, one, because you’d never had anyone treat you that good before, and two, you were so very horny, and wanted nothing more than for him to dick you down already.
Brandon yelled from the bottom of the stairs, “You better come down now, or else Connor might throw a fit!” He said it in his usual teasing manner, making sure you were still on your way down.
You chuckled at his words. Imagining Connor throwing a fit was difficult; he was so level-headed and patient, even when things didn’t go as planned. But you knew Brandon was just messing around—he seemed to enjoy joking around and messing with people all the time.
“Coming!” you called back, running your hands through your hair in the mirror one last time to ensure you looked presentable.
It wasn’t a situation that required looking nice, but after a day of swimming and walking around, you felt rather gross and decided a quick shower was necessary before joining the others by the fire.
Descending the stairs, you heard the wood creaking softly under your feet and smelled the lingering scent of pine in the cabin’s air. Moonlight filtered through the windows, casting a cool glow that danced on the walls. Stepping outside, the fresh scent of the lake mixed with the earthy aroma of the forest filled your lungs. The cabin sat in a clearing, surrounded by tall trees that whispered secrets to the wind.
Connor and Brandon were by the fire pit, the flames flickering and crackling, sending sparks into the dusky sky. Kaylee, Brandon’s girlfriend, sat in a lawn chair beside him, with Connor opposite them.
He looked good. Dark brown hair flopped messily over his forehead, and the firelight captured the green in his eyes in a way that made your head spin. Sitting with his legs spread slightly, he smiled as he saw you join them, gesturing for you to sit in the chair beside him.
This was your chance. You wanted to make it obvious enough that maybe he would get the hint and give you what you desperately craved. However, you couldn’t do anything too crazy with Brandon and Kaylee right there.
You felt the warmth of the fire as you approached Connor, the soft glow casting an ethereal light on his features. Ignoring the chair he gestured to, you plopped right down on his lap. The chair creaked slightly under your combined weight, but Connor’s arms instinctively wrapped around you, steadying you.
Connor’s embrace was warm and steady, his heartbeat quickening against your back. The scent of his cologne mingled with the smoky aroma of the fire, creating an intoxicating mix that made your head spin. You leaned back into his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles through his shirt. The fire crackled loudly, casting dancing shadows on the surrounding trees and the faces of your friends.
Brandon and Kaylee shared a knowing look, Kaylee not wanting to intrude. But Brandon definitely did. “You comfortable?” he probed, his voice teasing.
You smirked at Brandon, your eyes twinkling with mischief. "Very comfortable, thanks," you replied, nestling further into Connor's embrace. You felt his muscles tense slightly beneath you, a wave of satisfaction washing over you.
Connor’s hand moved slowly to rest on your hip, his thumb drawing slow circles against your skin. The gesture was tender and intimate, sending shivers down your spine. The fire’s warmth was nothing compared to the heat radiating from Connor’s body, and you reveled in the closeness, letting your hips grind on him softly, hoping he’d take the hint.
Instead, he took a deep, shaky breath, looking up at you with eyes filled with emotions you couldn’t decipher. He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, “Are you trying to make me hard?”
A thrill ran through your body at Connor's words, the huskiness of his voice sending electric currents through your veins. You turned your head slightly, just enough to meet his eyes, a playful yet serious glint in your own. "Maybe," you whispered back, your breath mingling with his, the proximity almost unbearable.
Connor’s grip on your hip tightened slightly, his fingers digging into your skin in a way that sent waves of anticipation through you. “Hmm, interesting…” he said, making you frown as the fire crackled louder, echoing the growing tension between you. You could hear Brandon and Kaylee chatting softly, their voices a distant murmur against the roar of your heartbeat.
As you shifted subtly on his lap, your movements elicited a low, involuntary groan from Connor. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, as though trying to regain control. “Please, baby…” you moaned softly into his ear, feeling your clothing more like a barrier than anything else.
Connor’s face flushed at your plea, and you felt his body tense beneath you. His eyes darted nervously to Brandon and Kaylee, who seemed engrossed in their conversation. He swallowed hard, struggling to maintain his composure, but the growing bulge beneath you betrayed his thoughts.
He cleared his throat, his voice shaky, "Uh, maybe we should, um, get you a chair." He tried to sound casual, but the way his hands tightened on your hips told you he was anything but.
You smiled slyly, leaning in closer, your lips grazing his ear as you whispered, "I think I'm good right here." You pressed down slightly, feeling him twitch beneath you, and you could almost hear the gears turning in his head as he fought to keep control.
Connor’s face flushed deeper, his breath coming in ragged bursts. He glanced at Brandon and Kaylee again, his eyes filled with a mix of anxiety and desire. "Seriously, I think..." he began, but his voice trailed off as you shifted again, pressing intimately against him.
Kaylee’s voice rang through your moment, her expression curious, “Woah, Connor, you okay? You’re like, bright red and sweating.”
Connor tried to muster a laugh, but it came out more like a strangled cough. "Yeah, just... you know, the fire." His eyes flick back to yours, silently pleading for rescue, but also filled with undeniable heat. “Babe,” he whispered in your ear, “If you keep this up, it might not end well for you.”
You can’t help but let out a soft, teasing laugh, feeling the tension in the air thicken around you. “Oh, really? What’s that supposed to mean?” you whispered back, deliberately shifting your weight on his lap to push him further.
Connor's hands gripped your hips firmly, his fingers digging in as if trying to ground himself against the temptation of your touch. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a breathy, almost inaudible moan. When he does speak, his voice is strained, a mix of desire and frustration. “It means,” he whispered, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I’m trying to be patient, but you’re making it very difficult.”
You sensed Connor’s resolve wavering, his control slipping as you continued to grind against him, each movement a deliberate attempt to tease and tantalize.
“Why are you trying to be patient?” you whispered, your lips brushing against his ear again. “I’m right here, and I want you. Why not just let go?”
Connor’s breath hitched, his grip on your hips tightening as he fought for composure. “Because...,” he started, his voice faltering as he struggled to maintain a steady tone, “I like you a lot, and if you keep doing that, I might take you behind those trees and fuckin’ ruin you.”
The raw honesty in his voice causes your jaw to drop slightly , making your heart pound even faster. His words lingered in the air, charged with electricity that made your skin tingle. You met his eyes, seeing the fierce battle of desire and restraint within them, and you know you pushed him to his limits.
Before you can respond, Connor’s hand slides from your hip to your thigh, his touch both firm and tender as he rubs his thumb on the inside. He leaned in closer, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “Is that what you want?”
His breath against your skin sends a shiver down your spine, and your heart races in response. You leaned back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes are dark with desire, and you can see the intensity in them, a stark contrast to the playful, patient Connor you’ve come to know.
“Yes,” you whispered back, your voice barely audible above the crackling fire and the murmur of Brandon and Kaylee’s conversation. “That’s exactly what I want.”
Connor’s eyes narrowed slightly, his jaw tightening as if he’s still trying to maintain some semblance of control. He glanced once more at your friends, who are now laughing about something, oblivious to the charged atmosphere between you two. When he meets your gaze again, he does something unexpected and smiles. “Hmm,” he started, his thumb still rubbing your thigh, “That sucks for you, then.”
“You’re going to play hard to get now?” you whispered, trying to mask the frustration in your voice as you shifted slightly on his lap.
Connor’s gaze remained locked on yours, his thumb continuing its slow, tantalizing circles on your thigh. “Not exactly,” he said softly, his voice low and steady. “Call it getting even.”
You swallowed hard, the frustration and desire making your head spin. His teasing was maddening, each touch and word stoking the fire within you. Every breath, every slight movement felt amplified, heightening your senses to the brink. It was an exquisite torment.
"You’re evil," you breathed, attempting a playful tone, but your voice emerged husky and raw. "You know that, right?"
Connor chuckled softly, the sound resonating deeply, sending a thrill through you. "Maybe," he replied, his hand sliding higher up your thigh, just brushing the edge of your shorts. "But you like it, don't you?" His voice was a seductive purr, each word carefully measured to elicit a response.
You bit your lip, trying to suppress a groan. His touch was light, teasing, promising so much more if only he would give in. You shifted again, pressing yourself against him, hoping to coax him into action, but he remained maddeningly calm. His fingers continued their exploration, always holding back just enough to drive you wild.
"Connor," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, "please..."
His eyes flashed with something dark and primal, but he maintained his composure, his smirk widening. "Please what?" he asked, his tone infuriatingly casual.
You swallowed hard, feeling a flush creep up your neck. "Please," you repeated, struggling to find the words as his hand crept higher, “Touch me.”
Connor's eyes gleamed with a mix of amusement and desire, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. His thumb continued to brush the sensitive skin of your thigh, each stroke sending a jolt of electricity through your body. He leaned in closer, his lips just inches from your ear, and you could feel his warm breath against your skin. "Touch you?" he murmured, his voice low and seductive. "Right here, in front of them?”
The thrill of being so close, yet so far from what you craved, was intoxicating.
“Yes,” you whispered, your voice needy, “Right here. I don’t care.”
Connor’s eyes darkened, his fingers tightening slightly on your thigh. He leaned back, a frown playing on his lips. “But you’re such a pretty girl,” he murmured, his voice barely audible over the crackling fire, “I wouldn’t want to make a mess of you in front of our friends.”
His hand slid slowly up your thigh, his touch light and teasing. His fingers danced along the hem of your shorts, never quite moving where you wanted them to. You shifted on his lap, trying to press closer, but he tightened his grip on your hip, holding you in place. “Stay still,” he urged you, “Or they’ll know what’s happening.”
The way he controlled your movements, the firmness of his grip, was both maddening and exhilarating. You nodded, trying to stay still, your breath hitching with every teasing stroke of his fingers against your thigh.
He leaned in closer, "You know," he whispered, his voice low and dangerous, "I could slide my hand inside these shorts right now, and make you come with just my fingers. But then we'd have to explain to Brandon and Kaylee why you're trembling and breathless." His lips brushed against yours for a moment before straying away to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck. "You're such a good girl, aren't you?" he murmured, his breath hot against your neck. "Trying so hard to behave, even when you're desperate for me."
You could feel his breath against your neck, each exhale sending waves of anticipation through your body. His lips brushed your skin, trailing soft kisses along your jawline and down to your collarbone. “Where’d all of this come from?” you breathed, your voice trembling with need, “Why haven’t you done this yet?” You questioned as you tried to shift again, hoping to get a reaction out of him, but he held you firmly in place, his grip unyielding.
Connor's lips curved into a slow, mischievous smile against your skin. "I like being your boyfriend. Wanna make you feel cared for," he whispered, his voice low. His hand continued its torturous path up your thigh, this time his fingers brushing against your underwear.
You bit your lip to stifle a moan as his lips found your ear again. He whispered, "I could make you beg for it, right here and now. But you like that, don’t you? Knowing that anyone could see what’s happening if they look a little closer…” His voice was a seductive growl, filled with a confidence you hadn't seen before. It sent a wave of excitement through you, and you shifted slightly on his lap, desperate for more contact.
His hand slid over your panties once more, pressing against your core with just enough pressure to make you gasp. "God, you’re fuckin’ soaked," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I think you can wait a little longer, don’t you? Be a good girl and sit still for me."
The mix of his commanding tone and the gentle pressure of his hand was intoxicating. You wanted to cry out, to plead for more, but you knew you couldn’t risk drawing attention. Instead, you nodded, biting your lip hard to keep from making any noise. Your hips involuntarily pushed against his hand, seeking more friction, more of him.
Connor’s chuckle was low and husky. "Such a needy little thing," he mused, his fingers tracing lazy circles over your panties. The sensation was almost unbearable, the teasing strokes making you ache for more. He leaned back slightly, slipping his other hand beneath your shirt. “Is that one of mine?” he questioned, referring to the worn-out Minnesota Wild branded t-shirt you had on.
You nodded, feeling the heat of his hand against your skin. “Yes,” you breathed, trying to keep your voice steady. “I like the way it smells.”
Connor hummed in approval, peppering a few kisses along your jawline. “Good,” he murmured, his hand sliding up beneath the fabric to caress the bare skin of your stomach. “You can have all my shirts if you want them. Let everyone know you’re mine.”
His hand beneath your shirt moved higher, his fingers brushing the underside of your bra. His touch was light, teasing, as if testing your patience. "Are you sure you can handle this?" he whispered, his lips brushing against your earlobe. "You're already so worked up, and I'm barely touching you."
You shivered at his words, your breath hitching as his fingers continued to explore. "Please," you breathed, barely able to contain the desperation in your voice. "I can't take it anymore."
Connor chuckled softly, a dark, throaty sound that made your pulse quicken. "Calm down, I’m not going anywhere.” he murmured, his hand sliding back down to your stomach, just above the waistband of your shorts. “If you only knew the things I’ve imagined doing to you,” he whispered, his hand underneath now purposely rubbing slow circles on your clit.
"Tell me," you whispered, your voice trembling with need. "Fuck, please."
Connor's fingers pressed down just enough to elicit a gasp from you, his touch driving you wild with frustration and desire. "I've been thinking," he said, his voice low and rough, "about how you'd look with your back arched, fingers tangled in the sheets, begging for me as I have you pinned down, taking you apart piece by piece.”
You swallowed hard, your body reacting instinctively to the images he painted with his voice. His fingers continued their torturous exploration, his touch just shy of what you needed to push you over the edge. You could feel the heat rising, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you struggled to maintain your composure.
Connor’s hand slipped under your panties, his fingers pressing against your core with a firmer touch. "And there’s more. Couldn’t stop thinking about how your body would feel against mine with nothing in between, how your moans would sound, how you’d wrap around me and take every fucking inch of me,” he paused, looking up at you with innocent eyes that didn’t match what he was saying at all, “But that’s just skimming the surface.”
You whimpered, your body aching with the need for more. "Please," you begged, your voice barely above a whisper. "I need you."
Connor's fingers slipped inside you, the sudden intrusion making you gasp. He moved slowly, his touch gentle but firm, each stroke sending shivers of pleasure through your body. "There we go…"
You could barely respond, your mind clouded with desire and the sensation of his fingers inside you. "Yes," you whispered, your voice trembling with need. "Fuck, yes, Connor. Please."
His thumb found your clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles that made you gasp and squirm in his lap. "Stay still," he commanded softly, his voice firm. "Or do you want them to know what you’re letting me do to you?"
You shook your head, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps as you fought to keep quiet. The pleasure was overwhelming, your body trembling with the effort to stay composed. Connor's fingers moved faster, his touch sending waves of ecstasy through you. "You’re so close, aren’t you?" His voice was a tantalizing mix of control and desire, a reminder of who was in charge. "I can feel you shaking, baby. Just a little more, and you can come. But you have to stay quiet for me. Can you do that?"
You could barely breathe, your body trembling as you fought to keep your moans silent. The fire crackled loudly, masking some of the soft sounds of your labored breaths and the wet, rhythmic motions of his fingers inside you. Brandon and Kaylee's conversation was a distant murmur, their laughter and casual chatter a stark contrast to the intense, intimate moment you were sharing with Connor.
Connor's fingers curled inside you, hitting just the right spot, and you couldn't hold back a soft gasp. He immediately tightened his grip on your hip, his other hand stilling on your clit. "Shh," he admonished gently, his breath hot against your ear. "I said stay quiet, didn't I?"
You nodded frantically, biting down harder on your lip to keep from making any more noise. “I’m sorry, I just—“
Before you could finish your sentence, Connor’s hand which had been holding you still by your hip came up to press against your mouth, “I’m not asking you,” he mumbled, his fingers resuming their movements, “I’m telling you. Be quiet, and you’ll get what you need.”
You nodded frantically, your eyes squeezed shut as you focused on the sensations coursing through you. Connor's hand pressed more firmly against your mouth, his other hand working you with a relentless, maddening rhythm. Your body trembled, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak.
"Baby," he murmured, his voice a seductive growl that only intensified the heat between your legs. "Just a little more. Stay quiet for me."
The gravity of his touch was too much, and you felt your body tense as the orgasm built within you. Connor's fingers moved faster, his thumb pressing against your clit with just the right amount of pressure. The world seemed to blur around you, the only thing you could focus on was the disorienting pleasure he was giving you.
And then, with a final, expert stroke, he pushed you over the edge. Your body convulsed, the orgasm ripping through you with a force that left you breathless. You bit down on his hand to stifle the scream that threatened to escape, your body shaking as waves of pleasure washed over you.
Connor held you firmly, his fingers still moving inside you as he guided you through the intense climax. He whispered soothing words in your ear, his touch gentle and reassuring. "I’ve got you," he murmured. "Good girl. Just let it all out."
As the waves of your orgasm subsided, Connor's hand stayed pressed gently over your mouth, muffling any stray sounds you couldn't contain. He slowed the movement of his fingers, easing you down from the intense high while maintaining his teasing touch. His hand eventually shifted from your mouth to cradle your face, his thumb brushing tenderly against your cheek.
You opened your eyes, still dazed and breathless, to find him watching you with a slight grin. The fire's glow reflected in his eyes, giving them an almost feral intensity. "So good for me," he murmured, his voice a mix of praise and satisfaction. He slowly withdrew his fingers from you, causing a shudder to run through your body. The loss left you aching, craving more of his touch.
Connor brought his hand up to his lips, licking his fingers clean with deliberate slowness, his eyes never leaving yours. The sight sent another thrill through you, making your pulse quicken. He leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, possessive kiss, tasting the remnants of your pleasure on your lips. His tongue teased yours, deepening the kiss and making your head spin.
Breaking the kiss, he nuzzled his nose against your cheek, whispering softly, "Should we go inside?” He asked, his hand trailing back down your body, tracing lazy patterns on your thigh. The touch was both comforting and electrifying, a reminder of what had just transpired, and what’s still to happen. You could feel the evidence of your arousal still wet between your thighs, and the knowledge that he had seen you so vulnerable only fueled your desire.
You nodded eagerly, unable to form coherent words. The desire still burning within you was insatiable, and the thought of being alone with Connor, away from prying eyes, made your heart race. He gently lifted you off of his lap, standing up shortly afterward and holding your waist to steady your still-shaking legs. “We’re gonna call it a night,” he announced, his eyes locked on yours.
"Have fun," Brandon called after you, his voice laced with amusement. Kaylee waved, giving you a knowing smile. You barely registered their goodbyes as Connor guided you back into the cabin, his hand firmly on the small of your back.
This was going to be one hell of a night.
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