#it's just logic

[blue-disco-lights]

Galladrabbles: #BestHusbandBribes

I don't know, this imaginary exchange made me laugh. Thank you @rayrayor for brightening up my day with this week's @galladrabbles prompt :)

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“Yo! Check this out.” Mickey tilts his phone to Ian. It’s almost 5pm, the work day’s done anyway. “I’m about to win this.”

Tell us your #BestHusbandBribes for a chance to win a trip to NYC!

“OK genius, you gotta husband I don’t know about?”

“No, I don’t gotta husband, but this’ll be easy as hell.”

“If you had a husband, what would your best bribe be?”

“Easy. Blowies.”

“That’s your best bribe? Blowies… for…?”

“Whaddaya mean? He does stuff, he gets a blowie.”

Ian stares at him. Decides he might finally ask his office crush out on a date.

[ferhog]

[sassenashsworld]

Okay NOW I HAVE TO KNOW

The truth!

The VERY truth!

Is it true that no one else eats a hamburger taking bites all around in order to always have the right amount of filling that does not fall on each side under the pressure??

I mean... it's can’t be true that I’m the only one...

Please Tumblr TALK!

Tells me I AM NOT ALONE!!!

[stealingpotatoes]

some alternative eras of lady normalgirl and her eunuch <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Finally caught up with Apothecary Diaries. I can't believe they gave Maomao a gun.

[rambling-robot]

crazy that gravity falls was like, hey what if we made twin brothers, and one of them is the worse one. he gets bad grades, he likes to punch his problems, everyone thinks of him as “the other one.” he’s engulfed in a shadow that’s shaped like him. he doesn’t even have his own name—it’s derived of his brother’s name, the only one his parents planned on having and using. everything about him is derivative—imitative of another person (his twin brother) (the one everyone likes and wants) and is disapproved of for that reason (he isn’t just “bad at this thing,” he’s “not as good as his brother”). and then he ruins his brother’s science fair project (the one next to his own—no one noticed it because it’s not good, it’s almost stupid next to a “perpetual motion machine” made by a high schooler) (he tried to fix it) (he doesn’t know how; he’s not as smart as the guy who made it) and he gets kicked out. the potential of the money his twin could’ve made is enough to throw him onto the street, and he can’t go home until he makes that money back (the money that was never gained and therefore was never lost. he never had a chance of making enough). he took every job he could (his brother went to school). he got banned from multiple states (his brother bought a house). he traveled internationally and went to prison and had people try to hunt him down and kill him because he couldn’t make enough money (his brother’s house has three basements. he made them himself, as secure as can be). and when his twin finally summons him for help, things go wrong (he messed up this machine like the last one) (he doesn’t know how to fix it. he isn’t as smart as the guy who made it) (he tries to fix it) (he was never any good at reading and these blueprints are impossible, coded and fragmented and in a science that he didn’t know existed) (he tries to fix it). the townspeople ask who he is, and he doesn’t even say his own name (it was hardly his to begin with). and he invites them to a house that isn’t his to show off experiments that aren’t his because he needs to make money that can’t be his. everything he does for the next 30 years is in his twin’s name, for his twin’s sake. he had two funerals for himself and it isn’t even his body in the casket; he had to wear his brother’s name to both of them. if he had died before he fixed the portal, that funeral wouldn’t have been for him. we meet him as a funny and unique character, but in-universe, he’s only ever been defined by someone else.

and then they went, this is entirely in the background btw. most of that is going to be revealed in one episode and won’t be addressed again. he’s a primary comic relief, even. I’m ill about this.

[noodles-and-tea]

It was a good guess (it wasn’t)

[makenna-made-this]

Okkkkkk so where is Chicken Miku?

Anon the way i dropped everything when i saw this

HATSUNE BEAK-U

(based on the Onagadori chicken breed)

[taraxippos]

One of my all time biggest pet peeves with historical(ish) fantasy is when the writer constructs a religion with a clear bias that it's stupid and false and therefore only the Stupid People and/or commoners believe in it and all the smart/elite main characters are like, quasi-atheists or otherwise just routinely flout established religious conventions of orthodoxy and/or orthopraxy because they're Too Smart for it or etc.

It's usually an extension of assumptions that people in the past were just less intelligent than in the contemporary, just being like "I know that the sun is a star millions of miles away that the earth orbits, but this ancient religion describes it as a chariot flying through the sky" and not really bothering to learn the context and just (consciously or subconsciously) settling on 'that's a crazy thing to think and was probably believed in because they were Stupid'.

And that whole attitude pisses me off so much. People were as 'smart' 10,000 years ago as they are today. These beliefs aren't just desperate, random flailing to explain phenomena that could not directly be accounted for either, it's not like people just looked at the sun and went "Uhhh I don't know what the fuck that thing is, actually. I guess it might be a chariot or a boat or something?? Yeah let's go with that." and based entire religious practices on this. Every well-established belief system exists within broader contexts of cultural values/subjective perceptions of reality/knowledge systems/etc, and exist as part of a historical continuum of religious practices that came before. Even when not Materially Correct, they have context and internal logic, they're not always dead literal with zero levels of allegory, and they're never a result of stupidity.

[outer-andromeda]

... I couldn't resist doing more self-insert stuff whoops

Edit : Can't believe I have to add this in but the human in the picture is NOT Stanford Pines from hit cartoon Gravity Falls. Gabby is a self insert, which means he's literally based off of me. READ THE TEXT AND THE TAGS. istg people 💀

[acochleola]

beatiful

[elumarin]

Why go to therapy when you can project it all onto Sun?

[ghostietea]

Did you hear? Did you hear? You were a real girl all along!

[lastoneout]

the whole guilt-tripping language in posts about important topics paired with how I'm still getting bitches in my notes talking about why it's actually good to tell "bad" people to kill themselves continues to prove to me that a lot of people have absolutely no concept of social justice or activism outside of assuming the worst of and then viciously attacking strangers on the internet

[hivemindclown]

Just something I noticed

Thank you for your sacrifice beast x ancient shippers 🫡

[waterme-stories]

Chewing on a headcanon that Wade let Cable walk away... and he wasn't going to make the same mistake with Logan