#it's kind of a weird combo but i got a few more songs that fit

[toonycatuwu]

Me: I should rlly finish my homework ngl

Also me: ok but hear me out... Garasu no Hanazono but Jalph...

[ravenadottir]

how do you think the islanders high school prom nights went?

oh nooooo! don’t make me suffer thinking about proms!

ok, um, let’s see.

((edit: it became a bible, as per usual...))

bobby. i can imagine cupcake being nervous to ask a girl to go with him to prom, rehearsing his “promposal” several times in the mirror, and joking about something related to proms that would light up the mood. i picture him with a really cute and shy girl that had her eye on him during chemistry class. and yes, i think he used the chemistry hook to ask her to be his date. he probably did weird worm dances, got the stage for ‘paisley cuddle’ for a three songs, was elected ‘class clown’ and got a good night kiss in front of her house when dropping her off, afterwards.

carl. i don’t want to sound too mean, but if carl went to his prom, he didn’t go with someone. he was too awkward and didn’t pick up the courage to invite the girl of his dreams. he had the corsage bought, but deep down he knew he couldn’t ask her. i must add here, he had a close friend that ended up spending the party with him because they were that connected. carl didn’t have fun, didn’t find the meaning of friendship and danced with his friend. he was too worried about uni applications and his future, and couldn’t wait to run for the hills. his entire high school experience sucked, and his prom wasn’t different. maybe one liberating song that set him free was “gives you hell”, where he didn’t feel like holding back and really let all the weird alien moves out. after that, he left. for good. this is why i think when he tells the story to mc she’ll find a way to throw a prom just for him, with his friends from the villa, where he’ll be picked up in a limo and dance awkwardly, but freely, with true friends. 

chelsea. this girl had fun on her prom, had a really cute guy taking her, the most gorgeous corsage she put together herself and gave it to her date the day before, so he could bring it when picking her up. chelsea had a close group of friends in school and danced the night away. if i know my bra well i think she was in charge of the decor, and you can bet your ass she talked her way into making everything pink-toned. all the blush and millennial pink you can imagine, down to the punch and the tablecloths. she organized everything related to the decor while bonding with a different person in charge of the rest. i can only imagine she had tons of fun at the night of the prom, being taken there in a pink limo. if her date didn’t do it, she would do it for herself, don’t at me!

gary. gary went to this prom, but i don’t reckon he took a girl. at that point of his life he was still “villain” looking, like he said, and i don’t think he had enough confidence to ask someone to go with him. what i do believe is that dicky was there with him, with a six pack and a playlist on his car that would be “infinitely better than whatever those fucking nerds are playing in there, mate!”. they would go in but not stay too long. i don’t think gary was a class clown or a sportist, despite of him playing football early on. he must’ve left that aside while focusing on robotics, so he was pretty much invisible. at least i think he defined himself in those terms. but they would drive somewhere gary adores, like the mountain, to watch the shipyard, have the beers, the music from the car radio and just talk and make fun of the popular kids that listen to ed sheeran. they would stay up all night, making plans for the future, since gary has his forklift license and is more than ready to start working. “cheers, mate.” besides the usual arctic monkeys, i think the song that best illustrates his prom is “mr. brightside” by ‘the killers’. “you know you’re gonna have to come back later for the car right, rennell?” “yeah...” “i’ll come with, you pussy. no need to be so sad.” dicky completed, pouting and draping an arm on gary’s shoulder as they walked home, ties untied, jackets and shirts open.

henrik. this kid couldn’t wait to wear those suspenders, beige pants and white shirt. he definitely had matching boutonniere with the corsage he got for his date, and his hair down. because whenever he hits the dancefloor, he lets his locks down and everyone knows that means the party is about to start. it wasn’t difficult for him to invite the girl he likes and she didn’t even blink before saying ‘yes’. i think he drove there, his friends on the back, singing along to "heroes” a cover by ‘the wallflowers’. i see henrik laughing while spinning a girl in place, catching her, goofing around with his friends while having the time of their lives. he already knew what he wanted to be, and everything was planned out. he drove everyone home and had his first night out with the girl he took to the prom.

kassam. i think kassam did his best to follow the protocol and asked a girl to go with him, got her a cute corsage and planned out the limo bit with his close friends. but i think it truly hit him that everything was going down when he put his jacket on, at the store. he saw himself on the mirror and realized what prom was, to him. it wasn’t just a party he would probably get laid after. i think he partied extremely hard that night, took some stuff, lost control, danced like an absolute asshole and probably ruined the night for a couple of people. it wasn’t smooth or tranquil like he thought it could be, and i really think he regrets lots of things he did that night. except for one. he decided to be the life of the party in different ways.

lottie. her “year 12 formal” was probably the first time lottie had real fun in her high school experience. like priya said before, i think lottie had some control issues and that stops her from seeing the full picture. ending your school experience usually opens your eyes for bigger things, and that’s where i think she really enjoyed herself for a long time. of course she wore a black dress and black and white corsage, if any. probably the first time she dyed her hair, not only a couple of streaks. high heels and black lipstick but just as gorgeous as she is today. maybe not the same level of confidence as today, but she was on the right path, i’m guessing.

lucas. i wanted to say lucas was the prom king, but that didn’t happen. he definitely didn’t know what to do while having a girl linking arms with him. he always felt like an outcast because of his previous experiences in school. always moving away, never staying too long to truly bond with his peers. so prom wasn’t exactly a fun time for him. it was though, the moment he realized he could do anything he wanted, not only conform to what his dad expected from him. the moment he realized that was possible the punch tasted different, the music became more fun, the dance moves weren’t so rehearsed and awkward, and he could truly appreciate what that night represented. i do think lucas wasn’t as smooth as he is today, so you can expect very boring tuxedo+shoes+tie combo, and not a lot of jazz going on with his ride. the whole point of getting a limo is to share it with your friends, but if you’re there for only a few months, then i don’t think there’s a bond strong enough to make you sing along to songs while picking up a girl. truth is, school wasn’t the best time for lucas, and just like carl, i don’t believe his prom was either.

marisol. she had to conform to a dress even though she wanted to rock a suit. at that point marisol already knew damn well who she was, but she couldn’t come out yet. i don’t think she had a very open relationship with her parents, and had to hide it for a while. what i do think though is that she took a girl, and changed into a suit at the dance. her closest friends knew about it and supported her, helping her hide her secret until the time was right. but that didn’t happen that night. she gave her date her corsage, and danced the night away with all of them. i even think her first sexual experience with a girl happened that night. awkwardly but very fully loving experience.

noah. i really think noah had a long term girlfriend by the time he graduated from high school, and she was the lucky girl he took to prom as his date. he asked her in the most traditional way, getting to her by the lockers, after class, possibly proceeding to take her to the library, finding the aisle with his and hers favorite books, then asking her there. the whole shebang of corsage and tuxedo, but no fancy limo bit or big gestures. just what he could afford. his dad took them to the dance and they entered the room being greeted by his closest friends. i do think noah was somewhat popular among the boys, because of his swimming, and the girls because he was so sweet and caring, besides hot! definitely popular enough to get some votes for prom king, but not quite there. i also believe the night of the prom could’ve been the first time he had sex. i could be wrong, but in my head, teen noah would’ve waited for a night as such, knowing what it means to him and to his girlfriend. not a lot of dancing but a lot of talking and watching as his crazier friends would let go and pull off moves no one should.

priya. it wasn’t the most fun she had in her life, that’s for sure. she mentioned a couple of times about her life in school and how hard it was to fit in. i don’t think big things happened for her back then. she tried her best to conform and become friends with people but it wasn’t in her, and eventually, those friendships would crumble. she probably had a date, a boy who asked her, and a couple of close friends, but didn’t feel like that was the fantasy prom she pictured for herself. i can see her wearing something discreet, because the priya we know and love blossomed later in life. besides, it was 2007/2008. emo phases were ending, but the alternative hairstyles were still here. if she had one of those or not, it’s up for debate. but her family doesn’t seem the kind to forbid her from having a haircut of her choice, so… you know what that means for her fashion choices back then! she did have a good time after a while at the dance, but it took her too long to realize it only depended on her. i think she danced, but didn’t really let the beast out. “not the greatest party i’ve been to, and definitely not my hottest look. but i guess no one’s prom is perfect.”

[allamericansbitch]

well since y’all asked

everything will be below the cut so people can just ignore this lol

the wild thing is like... everything everyone was saying from both sides makes sense. the good and the bad. i’ll start off with a pro and cons and then do a short track by track

pros:

i agree with what people are saying about how well this style suits her voice, it perfect. it’s smooth and calming but also doesnt stick her in a box and will allow her to kinda move with it and change things up as she sings, which i know she loves to do.

the production is exactly her too. it’s r&b beats with classic strings... liek that’s completely ariana grande. it’s so interesting and it weirdly works well? 

i feel like you can tell she was just in her element making these songs. i feel like she tapped into something that can be so endless for her and new ideas will be constant.

idk if it’s just me adjusting to hearing her sing but her pronunciation is getting a lot better

every song has at least one good and attractive part to it... there are no songs that i am so completely confused as to why it’s on the album.

it’s for sure my favorite era for her in terms of style

also her best album cover (but sweeter is close second) 

cons:

okay... there is a pattern with this album. every song had a really solid start. so many times i was in love with the verses and the melodies she was singing but... my god are the choruses weak. it’s just one line... repeated... like 4 times... then we move on... and i was sitting here like ‘oh that’s what we were building up to?’ and it happened with every song. so i completely agree about it kind of falling flat most of the time.

it’s so repetitive. besides the choruses mostly all being weak, the themes are all the same. like the 14 songs on the album are all about two things: her being horny or her being in love. that’s it. why did we need 14 songs to tell us two things.

another point: why were there 14 songs? so many filler tracks that just add nothing to the album for me. she could’ve honestly made a solid 10 track album and it would’ve been a good clean piece of work. 

the lyrics... oh my god the lyrics. the one thing i saw people saying, both fans of the album and not, was that the lyrics were really bad... liek they had to prepare people. and my god. there were some points that straight up sounded like 14 year old stan accounts arguing on twitter... ‘you sound dumb... shut up’ SHE USED THAT LYRIC AS A HOOK... she thought it was so good it deserved to be the hook like? and also there’s a lyric that just straight up says ‘read a fucking book’ lol. the good or tolerable lyrics are basically ones she already used before on other songs? like how many time's has this woman sung about fucking while watching movies... 

she needs to stop putting out albums so frequently. a lot of the complaints i see people having is just that it doesnt feel finished or polished enough to be an album. like she should have waiting a few months and refined things. it feels like a stepping stone rather than a destination. she doesnt have a clear vision, narrative or purpose driving the album at all. 

track by track

shut up: this was the first taste of bad lyrics like this is the song about being dumb and i fully was like omfg this is the whole song isnt it. i dig the production though.. this might have the best production of the whole album for me. 

34+35: i felt like i was listening to a horny 13 year old boy during the chorus lol. it just felt really immature at some points... like the giggling every time she alluded to 69 wasnt necessary. also the end where she says ‘mean i wanna 69 with ya’..... sweetie you didnt have to tell us we know we can add. i did like the melody of the pre-chorus. the ‘i’ve been drinkin coffee, i’ve been eatin healthy’ is really catchy and good

motive: god i had such high hopes for this. it first started and i loved the production and the prechorus worked really well... but again that chorus weakness really fucked it. and doja’s part doesnt really fit the song for me? it feels out of place and like she should’ve been put on a more upbeat song

just like magic: first song i actually liked and added to my library! i finally heard a good chorus that didnt feel like it completely slowed down the momentum of the song and helped move it along. and the lyrics are cute. i think for me she needs to improve on the difference between a cute lyric and a cringy lyric... like cute: ‘middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it’ and cringy: the rest of the album. also one thing there’s a lyric about her listening to music she wrote and like girl you had 34 writers on this album... what are you listening to two words? every time she brags about writing it’s kinda embarrassing like.... at no point am i impressed

off the table: this production would have been so good.... if it actually did anything else or went anywhere. it stayed the same the entire time.... for 4 minutes. also stop letting men on women’s music because it seriously never works. her vocals are really pretty though.

six thirty: i really like her vocal delivery in this... like kinda dropping off at the end and just starting to talk? it’s interesting. also the chorus really had potential because it actually got bigger and more layered and interesting but again with the one lyric ‘are you down’ repeated like 3 times then the chorus is just over it’s like... oh okay

safety net: again amazing verse delivery and melody... IF SHE TOOK IT ANYWHERE it would have been great. and again with the male features... not necessary. the bridge is cool with them both singing but other than that it feel flat for me. 

my hair: that smooth electric guitar intro is everything. and this sound of this song is so good.... but.... am i the only person who kinda feels weird about ariana, a white girl, being like ‘you can run your hands through me hair... dont be scared’ like?? why would they be scared... your hair is straight lol. it just toys with the whole idea of ‘don’t touch a black women’s hair’ for me. idk it could totally be a me overanalyzing thing. but god is she sang about anything else this would be my favorite song. second song i added to my library.  

nasty: if i had to pick one song that was my exact expectations for this album before listening to it it would be this one. the electronic hip-hop beat with the harmonies and vocals, all paired together for a song about her being horny (again), like yeah this all fits. it feels lost in some places though. like some points i feel like i have no idea what part for the song we’re on or what’s happening and we’re just treading water. and another weak chorus with 1 lyric repeated over and over again. (also random side not that intro of her talking reminded me of when she gave that billboard interview and people were mad at her bc she starting talking with an accent even though shes white... like thats what i thought of i was like ma’am you are a rich white theater kid form florida you do not speak like that)

west side: the production in the beginning is so cool? where is sounds like a tape rewinding kinda? love that. but other than that like... no point to this song being included on the album... it’s 2 minutes and it falls flat pretty early on.

love language: this was the one i saw most people agreeing was the best one/most hyped. i expected to be a ballad but it’s one of the more upbeat ones and honestly thank god. a chorus that actually has structure and goes somewhere? wild. good and creative lyrics? WILD. anyway the production is great and reintroduces that kinda 70s vibe from motive but in a refreshing way. really good tie in. third song added to the library. 

positions: i honestly didn’t even listen to this when it came out so i really had no idea what to expect. again the strings and orchestral pairs so well together... one of my favorite instrumentals on the whole album. i 100% see why this was the lead single and i agree with it completely. the most catchy chorus and it moves the song forward WHAT A CONCEPT. also very good placement on the tracklist because it was really refreshing. at this point it kinda started to drag on a little but this picked it right up. it also kinda threw me completely off balance because i was so familiar with the pattern of good verse weak chorus good verse weak chorus, but this is the opposite? weak verses but amazing chorus. forth song added to library.  also i am genuinely curious why it’s the album title? it doesnt really fit the theme of the album but then again one of my complaints is that it doesnt really have a theme to begin with so... 

obvious: the imagery i got when the music came in was like a dark 80′s lounge with dark wood furniture and i loved it lol. the same thing with positions, a surprising and refreshing combo of weak verse but good chorus which was nice. i can see it easily getting me stuck in my head, especially that hook. fifth song added to my library. 

pov: this is the other song off the album i heard everyone generally loved. i would say this has the best theme and story of the entire album. it has an interesting concept that isnt overly used and the whole song is pretty good decent verse and decent chorus. i love the end where she gets powerful and has more grit in her voice and we get more emotion out of her... wish she didnt wait until the last 30 seconds of the whole album to finally deliver with that but sure. sixth song to be added to the library. 

overall i was pretty surprised at how much i enjoyed it? i really expected not to the way everyone was talking about it. i think it is a good album with just some clear flaws, that could have been easily fixed if she didnt rush the album out so quickly. better lyrics and better judgement/deliberation of which songs deserve to be on the album and it would have been so solid. i would give it an overall rating of 6/10. 

here’s my current ranking:

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Juliet

Writing Blog URL(s): @wonderlustlucas

Nationality: American

Languages: English, beginner level French, teeny tiny bit of Korean

Star Sign: Virgo

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Favorite color: Pastel yellow

Favorite food: My mom’s Sunday gravy

Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle (The Lion King is a close second though)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Specifically Turkey Hill’s Double Dunker (get it— it’s so good)

Favorite animal: Humpback whale

Go-to karaoke song: She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Neurosurgeon! Or a Twitch streamer HAHA

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?  Ahhh probably coffee, I love tea but I need my coffee </3

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting! Clearly the superior superpower I don’t take constructive criticism.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? This is weirdly specific, but I would love to be in Scotland during the 1700’s. Alternatively, the 1980’s.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 100%. I know everything happens for a reason but getting a redo and being able to fix all the big mistakes I made would be pretty nice.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken! 100 tiny horses would be crazy tiring.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I would probably be the gay side character that gives good emotional advice but is hella lonely LMAO

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes, both!

What are some small things that make your day better? Driving with the windows down and music blasting, picking up coffee, playing video games, & talking to my internet friends on Discord.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I discovered my love for writing through Warrior Cats roleplay😭

What fandom(s) do you write for? Right now, only Kpop, but I wouldn’t mind writing for 5SOS or some of my other fandoms!

When did you post your first piece? On WattPad, December 2015. On Tumblr, April 2018 :)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write everything! Fluff/smut/crack is my favorite and slight angst (usually just slow burn though cus I’m soft).

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? Again, I write anything and everything! Currently, second or third person reader inserts are my main style, but I also do ships and would love to write more OCs.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Before Tumblr, I was on WattPad for different fandoms but eventually fell off. Then, when I got into Kpop in 2017, I found that urge to write again and decided to move to Tumblr since WattPad was becoming… weird. Plus Tumblr was a better fit for me!

What inspires you to write? To be completely honest, it’s the little things throughout the day that inspire me. For example, “Honey” was inspired by me not being able to open my locker in high school. “I Hemoglobin You” was based off my friend giving me a head rub while I was donating blood. Kpop idols just so happen to be my muses that I like to put into random moments of inspiration!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? High school or college AUs are my favorite, along with some good ol’ friends to lovers slow burn. Angst isn’t my forte so I usually just stick to fluff, smut, and some crack. I haven’t written any but fantasy AUs are some of my favorites too! (RIP to my League of Legends AU that I started and haven’t touched in months.)

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Just like other fanfiction authors inspire me, I hope some of my work inspires others. Considering fanfiction is free, there is so much out there to read and when I find a good story that inspires ME to write better, I’d love for my writing to do the same.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 3 options: 1) Skip that scene and jump ahead to one I’m excited to write; 2) Erase what part I’m on and completely redo it; or 3) Drop it. The majority of my works usually take a few months to write as I will completely stop working on it until I find the right inspiration again. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? “Four” is definitely my favorite work. It’s one of my longer pieces and there was a lot of raw emotion in there on my end. I love the relationship between Hyunjin and the reader and especially love the ending. “Greatest Gift” for Chanyeol is my most successful, and one of my other favorites!

Who is your favorite person to write about? Easily Hwang Hyunjin. It’s so easy to place him in any of my works, and sometimes it’s a struggle to NOT write him. It sounds stupid but sometimes I really feel like I “know” him so being able to describe him physically and mentally is easy for me.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. Yes, because most of the time, fanfiction is totally original as well and requires just as much thought as a 400,000 word novel. No, because fanfiction uses a specific person as a muse.

What do you think makes a good story? Detail and realistic dialogue! Of course, everyone has their own style of writing, but detail is especially important to me. Sure, you can have a great plot, but having concise, detailed writing to get immersed into makes a story so much better. I also find realistic dialogue to be a big deal— I hate when teenage characters are speaking in deep analogies because, if we’re being honest, my daily language is 95% just “Bruh.” If you’re like me, I’d actually prefer realistic dialogue over anything else.

What is your writing process like? Process… yikes. Sometimes… I have a random thought and then I’m like… hell yeah let’s write that. I actually have no process. I don’t outline, I just start writing and keep writing until I’m finished. Then I’ll read it all over to make edits, then I’ll use the Read Aloud feature to catch any mistakes I missed, then I’ll run it through Grammarly before posting!

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Hm, maybe? In the future, possibly, but as of right now I wouldn’t use any of my fics to do so.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Oh, gosh, tropes. Gotta love them. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, stuck together (AKA forced to share a bed), and fake relationships are my favorites. They may be corny, but I also love truth or dare or 7 minutes in heaven games in fics cus… they’re just classics. Also love fics with a popular x shy pairing. I can’t say I dislike many tropes, but I definitely have a love/hate relationship with vampire and werewolf tropes because of how romanticized they are.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Hm, to be completely honest, only a little bit? I mainly write for myself, it’s like a guilty pleasure to just get all my thoughts and desires out, and then I just so happen to make it public on Tumblr. Nevertheless, receiving comments and asks actually make my day, and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around people enjoying my writing! So, thank you to everyone who has ever left me a kind message, I truly appreciate it ♥

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Getting involved! I think one of the best ways to grow is to join networks, which not only gives you the opportunity to share your work on a greater scale, but also allows you to make connections. Like real life, making connections and making friendships with other writers can play a huge role in growing as a writer and growing your account.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes :( As someone who’s involved with other fandoms, I’ve heard the way some people think of fanfiction and it’s really sad. People do not know how much goes into writing and just see it as cringey and disgusting when it’s just… not.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Yes! In all its forms, art is something a creator can use to influence their audience (in a good way, hopefully).

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Like I said in #40, I mainly write for myself. Even when I’m writing a request, chances are if I like the request enough I’m going to create a story out of it that fits my personal desires the most.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  No! However, I’d still consider myself a small account and do not have TOO many works posted. But so far, I don’t think I’ve faced this problem :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Only a few! My best friend Maggie is on Tumblr with me and only 2 of my other pals know I write fanfiction.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? How much I love each and every one of them for supporting me and sticking around even when I won’t post for months🥺❤️

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t psych yourself out! In the time I’ve spent on Tumblr, I’ve never received any substantial hate. My main advice is don’t write fanfiction to get popular on the app, write fanfiction because you love to write and love your muses!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? No, as much as Tumblr can be annoying at times, I love the people I’ve met and the content I’ve found and wouldn’t have wanted to use any other platform.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? @pinktea99 — Mo, you’ve been around since the beginning honestly, and without you I wouldn’t have been able to come out of my shell! Thank you for all your love & support & for being my SF9 buddy❤️

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“Like mate, stop procrastinating.” — 3RACHA

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Magnolia

I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...

Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.

Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.

Some thoughts:

Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!

Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.

Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.

Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.

I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.

This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.

Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.

OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!

I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.

Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.

I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.

There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.

I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.

This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]

NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.

I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.

I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.

Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.

Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.

I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.

Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.

Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.

It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.

If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?

Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.

I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.

Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.

Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.

Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.

Um.

What.

Pray tell.

The fuck.

The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.

And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.

I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.

I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.

I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.

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[happymetalgirl]

The 15 Worst Metal Albums of 2020

This list might have been shorter if not for my running into a few awful albums at the end of the year that I had been avoiding wisely up until that point. My morbid curiosity got the best of me, and what’s done is done. I’m paying the price for it by going back over the worst albums I heard all year. Let’s get this over with.

15. Ghøstkid - Ghøstkid

This was the debut solo album from the former singer of Eskimo Callboy, who had a pretty decent backing of hype heading into this release under the Ghøstkid moniker, but with the namesake frontman putting in no more than the standard performance on a bunch of poorly assembled tracks in an unappealing and dated poppy metalcore style, ultimately the eponymous album wound up disappointing me pretty substantially.

14. Powerman 5000 - The Noble Rot

Powerman 5000 are just such a low-rate band that even one of their more okay albums makes it here. While not as astoundingly, mind-numbingly basic as their worst material, The Noble Rot is still some of the most unevolved, underwritten, and forgettable electro rock and industrial metal I’ve heard from a big name artist. This is some eighth grade level songwriting here, and that’s a fuckin’ feat for a band that’s been around longer than any eighth grader has.

13. Corey Taylor - CMFT

There was a lot of hype around Corey Taylor finally coming out with a solo project, and it was pretty damn disappointing to hear a bunch of uninteresting classic rock too tacky for Stone Sour. CMFT focuses on the fun side that has made its creator such an enigmatic figurehead in the metal press, but its one-note approach does little more than highlight Corey Taylor’s songwriting deficiencies. I really could have seen this album turning out better too, with just some more time and care put into it, if a fun time of an album is what Taylor was going for. Unfortunately Taylor tried to make a party album and a grand ceremonial tribute to his greatness at the same time, and ego-petting and partying don’t really go hand in hand.

12. Evildead - United States of Anarchy

It has some good bones underneath it, but Evildead’s long overdue (if anyone was asking for it) third album wears out its welcome so quickly with some of the most adolescent thrash I’ve heard in a while. The band gets some good rhythms going and the vocals aren’t terrible either, fitting the older thrash style pretty well. But the band’s predictable formula tires out very quickly, and the political commentary of the lyrics is too cheesy and cringeworthy to ignore. It seems every year we get a handful of these kinds of albums that try to get into the simmering thrash revival with some ultra retro approach, and a good portion of those albums are from long-defunct bands who figure their primitive old-school approach might be a selling point despite their sounds often being even more juvenile against the backdrop of today’s metal landscape. So it’s not a huge surprise or anything to hear an album as ham-fisted and corny as United States of Anarchy; this year it just happened to be Evildead.

11. Five Finger Death Punch - F8

They may not always place highest in this list, but they always manage to make it here, and this was actually an improvement on the last album, not that that’s saying all that much. In fact, I’d say this is the only time in the band’s history that they actually shifted their trajectory upwards. But while the band’s ugly continual creative decay has been a hard thing to watch and made them the five finger punching bag of the metal world, there seems to be a large enough swath of mouthbreathing chuds who love their incoherent derivative shit and flock to their shows enough to put them in lucrative headlining slots and on top of the metal world. Goddamn that sure sounds a lot like someone else we all know doesn’t it. I’ve criticized them plenty in the past, and while indeed an improvement, F8 only mildly remedies the numerous problems with Five Finger Death Punch. Still septic to the system are the predictably formulaic and tiresome songwriting, the stale production, the corny butt rock choruses, the shitty bootlicking worldview that bleeds into Ivan Moody’s douchey and faux-deep lyrics, the contrived ballads and country-dabbling. Even with an improvement in the flow of the track listing and a few more bangers that somewhat hearken back to their first album, F8 is still an over-thought and overly calculated batch of Sirius XM fodder that’s trying to please everyone in some superficial way. I’ll grant that it seems as though the band realized they had been giving the more metal-immersed side of their fanbase that has been with them the longest smaller and smaller crumbs with each new album. I’m not gonna hold my breath for this being anything more than placating for the time being; I’m sure the next album will find the band back on whatever bullshit they feel (or their execs feel) they need to be on to pull enough streams from inattentive radio metal bros. I always end with the disclaimer that I still steadfastly stand by the band’s first two albums, and even American Capitalist to a degree, and that I totally acknowledge the immense potential for greatness this band could seemingly at any time decide to fulfill. Ivan Moody is a talented vocalist with a lot of star power and they really could have been the second coming of Pantera or singlehandedly ignited a new wave of American groove metal and metalcore or carried it on their own. But instead the band have followed the money on the path of least resistance to fast-track their way to the top of festival tickets, which I’m sure affords them quite enough luxury and comfort in life, more than most bands these days get, but it doesn’t exempt them from criticism, and unfortunately I think their legacy will show that they were a lowest common denominator kind of band at the end of the day when they could have been, again, like a second Pantera or something.

10. Anvil - Legal at Last

Another year, another album of Anvil unable to evolve past their prototypic thrash of their forty-year-old origins. Though as tacky as ever, Anvil actually also managed to make a mild improvement on their last album on the musical front at least. The songs are a little more energetic and easier to get through, if not for the lyricism though. Anvil lyrics are never anything beyond a fourth-grader’s poetry assignment for their English class, but some of the Facebook boomer lyrics here are fucking cringy dude. A quick look at the track listing will let you know exactly where you’re gonna find the juiciest cringe, but honestly, even as far as cringe goes it’s nothing comedically special and cringe culture in general is played out anyway. So do yourself a favor and just ignore Anvil the way they deserve to be ignored.

9. Halestorm - Reimagined

It feels a little harsh to place an EP here, especially for a band whose album back in 2018 was one of the best things I have heard to come out of hard rock in a long time. But these stripped back covers and revisions of songs from the band’s catalog just suck all the oomph out of them, perhaps making the case by contrast for the importance of the role the rest of the band behind the indeed charismatic powerhouse frontwoman Lzzy Hale play in making their sound what it is. It’s unlikely this points to any kind of new direction for them, so I’m not particularly worried about them running into this problem again. Plus, I don’t think Halestorm and Lzzy Hale are like fundamentally incompatible with more ballad-y rock music, this forced balladization of older songs just did not work, and it makes perfect sense as to why.

8. Gama Bomb - Sea Savage

The fact that this album is only number 8 on this list is just depressing for its reminder of just how much shittier it got this year. The fact that there are seven albums from this yet worse than Sea Savage, goddamn. With one exception, this was maybe the stupidest album I heard all year, at least in the thrash department it was. God this thing is a sugar high mess. I feel like a toddler on an entire bag of Halloween candy or an elementary schooler on a 2-liter of Mountain Dew sat at a computer to program a thrash album would’ve probably come up with something like this. The erratic operatic highs and dumbass lyrics, it all just embodies everything that ever made thrash look bad. It’s like that drunk guy at a party who’s hyper as shit and doing a bunch of crazy stunts for attention because he thinks it’ll make the people there like him more, but really he’s just embarrassing himself. Yeah, definitely the worst thrash metal album I heard all year, and one I wish I could unhear.

7. Amaranthe - Manifest

One of the albums I was avoiding but reviewed late out of my own weird sense of obligation that I wasn’t surprised to find only validated my reasons for avoiding it in the first place. The weird combo of dancy pop music and power metal isn’t as crazy of an idea as it might seem at first thought. In fact, that’s basically in part what Babymetal are doing, and actually getting better and better at. But Amaranthe get the worst of both worlds with Manifest, unsavory pop melodies and utterly generic symphonic metal to make for something I’m not at all surprised I was so repulsed by.

6. Trapt - Shadow Work

Yep, I listened to it. God, no wonder this band is flailing in irrelevance with aggressive MAGA nonsense being their only audible desperate plea for attention. The album, thank fuck, isn’t steeped in the same bitch boy tantrum that the band’s singer has engaged in all year to the point of getting his band’s Facebook page banned for hate speech, and the music isn’t like offensively poorly made or anything like that either. There’s clearly a conscious meeting of the baseline requirements for the type of music they make, but holy fuck it’s so damn flavorless and predictable. It’d be one thing if this was the trendy thing to be doing, but this diet hard rock for people who think Three Days Grace is too wild has been out of fashion for over a decade. And Trapt are just recycling the same dumb formula that overstayed it’s welcome in the early 2000’s. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all, but god, it’s the kind of thing that has to be apparent to the band themselves too unless they’re lacking of any and all self-awareness. Trapt have thrown themselves to the forefront of the online metal world’s discourse by being an annoying, toxic, and childish presence all year; the silver lining being the unity among metalheads in roasting their laughable posturing about their Pandora numbers and the juicy memes about their one hit “Headstrong” that rile the snowflake singer up without fail. And this shit album is just another reason to laugh at them and more fuel to roast their crybaby Trumper frontman with. Go back into your hole, Trapt. 3/10

5. Unleash the Archers - Abyss

I talked about it in my review, but there really is only one simple thing that sinks this album so low. And that is just how incredibly low-effort and lifeless it is with a genre that’s supposed to be so life-affirming. Power metal isn’t the most highly revered genre in metal, but that’s just for its cheesiness. I love it; when it’s at its best, it’s some of the most inspiring metal music out there and I genuinely wish there was a bigger demand across the board for it. But Unleash the Archers just sound so flat and unenthusiastic in this album, and, sorry, in power metal, unabashed enthusiasm is just nonnegotiable. The guitar parts are phoned in and lacking in imagination, and the vocals especially are so narrow-range, it’s all so antithetical to the ethos of power metal and it doesn’t make a strong case for itself. I’ll leave it there; this album is lazy and lifeless so I feel no need to waste any of my time and work on it.

4. Burzum - Thûlean Mysteries

Ol’ Varg must’ve needed a new wizard hat or camouflage pants or whatever goofy shit he’s been doing since retiring the Burzum name to focus on his racism and LARPing because I thought Burzum was supposed to be finished. I thought you were done with Burzum, Varg. Apparently not too done to not dump an hour and a half of embarrassingly half-baked ambient dungeon synth song fragments that sound, so many of them, quite obviously unfinished. Varg Vikernes has been a washed-up shell of the musical god the various weirdos who idolize him make him out to be for a long time now, and it has shown in the gradually degrading work he had put out after his release from prison. Yet after clearly not caring about creating music in any meaningful way for a long time, Varg drops this heap of shit in his fans’ laps. I suppose they deserve it, but I’m sure some of them are delusional enough to lap it up with a smile on their face while still believing their white nationalist idol to be a musical genius. Again, it’s entirely dull ambient music, not metal at all, but it deserves to be shit upon for its astounding laziness and purposelessness.

3. Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire

Doubling down on exactly the unflattering crossover of pop music with their significantly sanitized butt rock in their apparent quest for arena glory that started with their self-titled album back in 2017, Asking Alexandria’s bid for the big spotlight that Imagine Dragons occupies didn’t get any stronger this year with Like a House on Fire. After three or four years of aiming for this style, the band still aren’t even all that competent with the basics of fucking pop rock, which is pretty downright laughable. Honestly, for an album so high up here on my shit list, my feelings on it are more or less just that of unsurprised disappointment; as soon as I got a feel for what the band were doing with the album, I knew it was going to be a mess of predictable results. And lo and behold. This was just such a wholly inexcusably floppy paper towel of an album, and one more Asking Alexandria release I know I won’t be returning to ever again.

2. Hollywood Undead - New Empire, Vol. 2

Coming on at the last minute to get on the scoreboard, reliably, is Hollywood Undead. When I reviewed both volumes of this project earlier, I referred to them as “corporate Linkin Park”, and I stand by that 100%. This album especially showcases nothing but what an incoherent, vapid, clout-chasing act they are, with such a corny, focus-grouped sound that sounds like it was made in a lab by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers. God, they could’ve been safe too if they had left it with the more tolerable first volume back in January, but this follow-up sequel from just this month was exactly why I had avoided listening to the first installment in the first place. And I should’ve never played this second one either. The album opener, “Medicate”, is probably the worst song I sat through in my own volition this year, and the rest of the album doesn’t get much better. It’s nothing new for Hollywood Undead after I gave their 2017 album my award for least favorite album of that year: more unfitting interplay between machismo posturing Eminem-cosplay and the sappiest, wimpiest radio rock and pop choruses; more cringy tough-guy struggle bars; more forgettable-at-best instrumentals. Congrats again, Hollywood Undead, you made one of the worst albums of the year once again.

But even worse than Hollywood Undead is an album that I feel like is already so legendarily bad, that there is no other album that could’ve been sat here. It had to be this one.

1. Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

Shitty metal bands everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief any year Six Feet Under decide to put out new music because any album they release is just about bound to end up as everyone’s #1 worst album of the year, and boy is that guarantee becoming more and more airtight with each successive release. It’s truly astounding too how Six Feet Under manages to outdo themselves every time. I don’t even want to think about what could possibly come after Nightmares of the Decomposed; we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, holy fermented shit, this thing is not just bad, it’s like the holy grail of terrible TERRIBLE albums and I don’t want to know what kind of apocalyptically despicable album Chris Barnes and company could possibly conjure to outdo this one. And make no mistake, it’s still Chris Barnes dragging this band down. I gave this album a 1/10 instead of a 0/10 because there was at least a sliver of salvageable instrumentation on it, as thin of a sliver as it was, a few halfway decent musical ideas of you squinted hard enough. The instrumentalists are checked out and clearly just participating for the paycheck, but I can’t even imagine what kind of professional instrumental performance could possibly overshadow the embarrassment that Chris Barnes put to tape in the studio here. Maybe that says it, because it honestly sounds utterly unprofessional. It’s baffling how this got through management and sound engineering to be released to the public because I don’t think I’ve ever even heard any amateur high school band’s vocalist sound this bad. Vocal ingenuity is generally something to be applauded in the metal world, and pioneers like Randy Blythe, Dani Filth, and Travis Ryan deserve all the praise they get for their innovation with dirty metal vocals, yet what Chris Barnes has “invented” here on Nightmares of the Decomposed to compensate for his continually-deteriorating vocals is just sad. The man simply cannot perform highs anymore, clearly, and the alternative is this fucking comical, cartoonish squealing that sounds more like a bratty toddler gargling their own snot than it does anything fitting for a death metal record, even a death metal record at stupid and cheesy as Nightmares of the Decomposed. Chris Barnes should be thankful that metal is not a sport and that there’s not nearly as much of an abundance of performance statistics to point to and analyze to see what kind of records are broken in a legendarily awful performance. I feel like if there were any kind of performance stats to pull up, this album would have to break some kinds of records. Like this is worse than that 7-1 Germany-Brazil World Cup game, this would be like if the Brazilian team all got unholy levels of blazed and repeatedly scored on themselves because they kept going the wrong way and kicking the ball into their own net, and then pissing their fucking shorts. Even in 7-1 defeat, Brazil had more dignity than Chris Barnes here. Six Feet Under and their label have to know they are a laughing stock and that people will listen to them at this point for the sheer entertainment value of how mind-blowingly awful they sound. It’s not an illegitimate marketing tactic, and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how this passed inspection. If that’s their mission, to be a spectacle and instill cringe in death metal fans in a regular ritual of comically stupid performances across every successive album, they’re sure doing it, and I guess this baffling headache-trophy is their well-earned prize. Congratulations Six Feet Under, you did it again! Worst metal album of the year.

[lovelylogans]

I just came up with just like the worst prompt for a sideshire file: adult, sensible, reasonable Virgil finding out MCR is back and flipping out

the black parade

we’ll carry on, we’ll carry onand though you’re dead and gone, believe meyour memory will carry onwe’ll carry on

-welcome to the black parade, my chemical romance

part of the wyliwf verse.

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, remus mentions, grief mentions, cryptid mentions, emotionally dealing with a deceased parent, let me know if i missed anything!

pairings: logince, moxiety

words: 4,824

notes: how dare you call this absolute gem of a prompt “the worst” also did i schedule this to come out on the day of the concert YES!!!  the timeline is kinda hand-wavey on this one, so let’s just say it happens shortly after the main storyline and it makes sense for mcr to announce that news on that date and for it to fit in with the narrative i’m telling here, okay? okay! (the song roman is listening to is “bombastic” by bonnie mckee, and honestly sub in any mcr instrumentals for any song virgil is mentioned to be listening to this oneshot.)

 patton first hears about it, surprisingly, from his son.

though logan isn’t quite as in tune (well, patton thinks it’s funny!) with the music scene as the sanders’ significant others—roman with pop and musicals, and virgil with his more eclectic taste—he is, of course, the most in tune with the news.

the mcr reunion certainly qualifies as news.

when patton opens the link his son has texted him, he stares at it for a few seconds, and says aloud, “ah.”

so, virgil is probably going absolutely feral.

back when patton had first gotten to know virgil, his interest in music had been surprising—the diner usually played soft music, jazz or old-timey songs or instrumentals, non-offensive songs that usually everyone could tolerate and talk over without noticing it very much, playlists swapping up so that employees on the same shift wouldn’t want to plug their ears if they ever heard buddy holly again. 

now he knows that virgil doesn’t that over into his personal life, and that he mostly plays that music because it’s the kind of music his parents played when they ran the diner. when patton first sees virgil’s music collection, he was surprised, and then he thought about it more and it made sense. why else would he always be listening to music on his headphones, even when it was just the two of them? 

now, it’s weird to even think that he’d thought virgil’s taste was ever, well. tame, he supposes. mainstream.

patton checks the time. it’s probably early enough that he can pass this off as a coffee break, and not to check that virgil has passed out in the midst of the diner.

patton’s trying to formulate the best way to ask “so, have you heard the news?” question in case patton is somehow the one to break it to him, but when he walks into the diner and listens to the music for a couple seconds, he doesn’t even need to bother asking. it speaks for itself.

to virgil’s credit, he isn’t blaring the entire mcr discography.

he is, however, blaring instrumental covers of what seems like the entire mcr discography.

or at least, the diner is—virgil’s nowhere in sight. patton just kind of assumes that he’s back in the kitchen, so he goes to sit at the counter, waiting for him to emerge with a tray or a rag, maybe not grinning, except for maybe that soft secretive smile he does sometimes, but probably humming along.

he doesn’t come out for a while—that’s pretty normal, this time of day, it is the early dinner rush—but then patton puts in an order for hot cocoa/coffee.

and he actually gets it. and he can smell that it’s not decaf. which means—

patton leans over the counter, and smiles at jean. “where’s v?”

“kitchen,” jean says.

“and he actually gave me something caffeinated at this time of day? are we sure this is virgil?”

jean laughs. “i guess he’s in a good mood, then.”

patton smiles down at his mug, tracing his pinky around its rim. “guess so.”

patton sips his way through about two-thirds of his mug before virgil emerges from the kitchen, towel swept over his shoulder, a carafe of coffee in each hand. which is mostly normal.

except he’s humming, and grinning, and instead of his usual purple flannel or hoodie, he’s wearing all black. there’s the flash of a band tee underneath the black hoodie he’s got on. patton hides his grin behind his mug. 

“oh, hey,” virgil says, snapping out of his haze.

“so i guess i’m not about to break the news to you, huh?” patton teases.

“nah, you’re not,” virgil says, smiling still as he replaces the coffee carafes before he leans on the counter. the other servers, used to this, scoot around him in their quest to deliver food back and forth.

“we could time a visit to chris to go, if you want,” patton says. “since he lives in california.”

virgil looks incredibly tempted, before he says, “let’s think on it?”

patton nods and leans over the counter to kiss virgil on the cheek—a new thing he’s been doing lately, now that they’re dating—virgil ducks his head, flushing, like he does every time. patton can’t help the smile that springs onto his face, every time.

“i’m happy you’re happy about it, darling,” patton says. 

“you’re ruining my street cred,” virgil mutters, blushing still.

patton fights his own grin. yeah, virgil’s street cred, his reputation rife with hoisting kids into his arms so they could better see the pastry display, and well-known for opening his door to anyone who had a last-minute stitching or alteration emergency, including a number of teary-eyed brides who’d invite him to their wedding on the spot, regularly slipping extra tips to his workers who were struggling, would definitely be harmed by his boyfriend—partner?—kissing him on the cheek. 

what he says instead of any of that is, “you’re marathoning punk rock in the diner right now, honey, i don’t think your rep’s gonna get harmed from anything i do.”

virgil tilts his head, acknowledging this point. “you sticking around for dinner?”

“should be,” patton says. “i’ll text logan that i’m here.”

“mkay,” virgil says, and digs around in his pocket, fishing out his notepad and pen with a flourish. “wanna order now or later?”

patton probably shouldn’t use virgil’s good mood for his own benefit. he really, really shouldn’t. but he’s got a real craving, so…

“refill of hot cocoa/coffee, cheeseburger, fries?” patton tries, keeping his voice extra blasé. 

a soft hum of acknowledgement as virgil scrawls it all down, and says, “cheddar cheese, right, or do you want colby jack?”

patton smiles. “cheddar cheese, please. oh, and some french silk pie?”

virgil tilts his head at patton with a look, fond and irked, and patton gives him a sheepish grin.

virgil sighs. “and french silk pie,” he grumbles, adding it on, and patton nearly crows with victory. he loses that battle when he can’t contain a soft “ha!” as virgil tops off his mug. 

virgil rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile clinging around the edges of his mouth as he disappears back into the kitchen.

patton digs out his phone. get to virgil’s he’s just given me junk food AND caffeine AND a dessert!!!!!!!!! 

He added vegetables, surely?

NONE!!!!!!!!!!!

a pause. I’ll be there shortly.

patton grins and tucks his phone back into his pocket. even if logan was better with nutrition than he was, logan was still weak for a good, artery-clogging meal once in a while. virgil handing them out on a silver platter? a rarity that practically demanded to be taken advantage of.

when his phone buzzes, and the bell jangles, patton turns to see logan and roman filing into the diner. patton picks up his mug of hot cocoa/coffee, and heads back to join roman and logan in a booth, sitting across from them.

“hi, roman,” patton says.

“i heard virgil is handing out junk food like it’s candy,” roman says excitedly. “i want to see if i can talk him into giving me endless soda refills, for once.”

“he’s refilled my hot cocoa/coffee,” patton says, gleeful. “my caffeinated hot cocoa/coffee.”

“chances are good!” roman practically cheers. “i wanna get, ooh, um—um, breakfast for dinner! like a platter of breakfast for dinner!”

“it’s worth a shot,” patton says. “logan?”

“me too,” logan decides. “i want pancakes.”

“trade you bites of french toast for bites of pancake?”

“deal.”

roman and logan fall into discussing the latest happenings around the town—stories about the little kids in dance classes, the latest courant goofs, the hottest pieces of old-lady gossip—and by the time virgil re-emerges from the kitchen, patton gets to watch him blink, bemused and a little startled, at the absence of patton at the counter.

biting back a giggle, patton leans out of the booth so virgil can see him more clearly, and virgil nods, maybe saying “ahhh” under his breath, and emerges from behind the counter.

“hey, what can i get—“

a moment, a brief moment, one that patton isn’t sure that roman or logan even notice—when they both turn, roman grinning and logan… looking polite, at least—virgil falters, eyes widening, and he swallows, eyes flashing with… something. and then—

“—you two?”

“hot cocoa/coffee and a stack of pancakes,” logan says, looking at virgil sidelong, and virgil nods, eyes wide and… strangely attentive? not that virgil isn’t usually attentive, it’s just that virgil looks like… well, virgil looks like something’s struck him and he’s realized Something and he’s paying even closer attention. or something.

“how many?”

“um,” logan says, and glances at patton, who mouths go for it so logan says, “five?”

“five pancakes, hot cocoa/coffee, got it,” virgil says, absent, and then he swallows again. “roman?” he says gruffly.

“i want the breakfast combo with bacon, and french toast, and waffles, and hashbrowns, and instead of the regular toast side thing can i do biscuits and gravy?”

“bacon, french toast, waffles, hash browns, biscuits and gravy instead of toast, got it,” virgil says, staring at him still. “drink?”

“cherry coke?”

“yeah, of course,” virgil says, strangely choked, and then he just kind of—does something weird? even by virgil standards. wait, especially by virgil standards.

virgil awkwardly puts a hand on roman’s shoulder, removes it, and then puts it back on his shoulder again, and when roman looks up at him with a bemused kind of smile, virgil leans in, halting and jerking, and then just kind of—hugs him?

it might actually be generous to call it a hug. he sort of wraps roman up in his arms, and his arms just kind of end up circling roman’s head, because he’s standing and roman’s sitting, and roman, bewildered, manages to reach up and pat virgil’s shoulder, and virgil pats roman’s hair in a reciprocal moment of oddness before he lets go of him and says “um, right, okay, i’ll put those orders in and get someone to bring out your drinks” and speedwalks away from any semblance of a lingering awkward moment.

“um,” roman says, and flicks his hand to correct his hair from where virgil mussed it up. “that was… kind of weird? that was weird, right?”

“that was strange,” logan agrees, at the same time patton says, “yep, definitely weird.”

the conversation moves forward slowly, and jean ends up dropping off their drinks (and! giving! patton! a! third!!! refill!) and then jean ends up… bringing out their food, too? with no healthy alterations, which is good. virgil even gives him some ice cream with his pie, so that patton can combine it in a slightly disgusting but very delicious mess.

and by the time the check comes, virgil hasn’t re-emerged from the kitchen. which. okay. it’s dinner rush. sure.

but usually, he at least comes out to say goodbye.

so patton digs out his phone, and sends him a you’re free to drop by the house once you close up! text.

and then he ends up walking home with logan and roman. or, well.

“um,” logan says, when they’re about fifteen feet from the prince’s studio and apartment, “dad?”

“huh?” patton says, distracted, before the look that roman and logan exchange clicks, and the whole “walking someone home” thing clicks, and his own teenage experiences, and he says, “oh! oh, right! right, right, right.”

“dad,” logan groans.

“you wanna get me out of the way so you two can do cute couple-y teenager things, right, i get you,” patton says, grinning still, backing away slowly. “your old man’s still hip, you know.”

“dad.”

“don’t mind me, i’m just gonna,” patton says, grinning still, and waves a hand vaguely. “i’m just gonna stare real closely at the, um, the town decorations over there, and, uh, you can come and tap me on the shoulder when you’re ready to keep walking home, yeah?”

patton turns his back at the same time logan makes a strangled, embarrassed noise, and roman giggles, and he hears logan say “i’m sorry about—that” and roman giggle and say “don’t be. you’re cute when you get all huffy, you know” and then patton’s out of earshot and stares very intently at the wreaths and garlands dotting the town.

his baby has a boyfriend. it’s cute. it’s puppy love. it’s the kind of tooth-achingly sweet first relationship and the subsequent milestones that patton could have ever hoped for his son, even if the concept of “logan” and “dating” were still two very strange concepts to combine. it also provides patton his lifetime quota of “good-natured teasing of my child” that was bestowed upon him the moment he became a dad.

there’s a tap on his shoulder, and he turns to see logan, who’s blushing, just a little bit.

“we really need to coordinate our walks home so this never happens again,” logan grumbles, already walking past him, and patton picks up the pace.

“aw, hon, don’t be embarrassed,” patton says. “it’s perfectly natural to—”

“no,” logan complains, and patton laughs even as he starts to croon, “logan and roman, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s—”

“dad!”

⁂

patton’s humming quietly to himself by the time he hears his front door open, and he smiles.

“hey,” he calls, setting aside the book he’d been reading. well. attempting to read.

stomp, stomp, stomp, virgil clearing his boots of any lingering wetness that might track onto patton’s carpet. the susurrus of virgil taking off his bulky winter coat and tucking it in with the others in the coat closet. a kiss dropped on the top of patton’s head. 

“hey,” virgil murmurs, and patton shuffles aside, tugging up his blanket, so that virgil has space to settle in beside patton, as most of the other spaces in the living room are taken up by laundry or books. this way, patton can cuddle him. patton may have plotted a little bit to ensure this development happened.

patton sighs happily as he tosses the blanket over virgil and snuggles into virgil’s side.

“rest of the shift go okay?” he asks, voice soft.

“yeah, it’s fine,” virgil murmurs, adjusting a little so that his arm settles soundly over patton’s shoulders. 

“good,” patton murmurs, rests his head on virgil’s shoulder and fights off a yawn. the yawn is afforded a narrow victory. “that’s good.”

“you haven’t been staying up for me, have you?”

“nuh-uh,” patton fibs, and then, “okay, yes, but i got your text and i didn’t wanna be rude by just being asleep when you got here.”

“i wouldn’t have been offended by you being well-rested,” virgil murmurs.

“you’re gonna say that i should—”

“—get ready for bed, yeah,” virgil finishes, sounding amused. “you know, i bet you’re so tired because—”

“don’t say it,” patton complains, even as virgil’s standing and tugging patton to his feet.

“—because of caffeine crash,” virgil finishes triumphantly. “you got way more caffeine than you’re used to this time of day, and—”

patton groans as he stamps up the stairs, even though he’s holding virgil’s hand the whole way, pulling him all the way into his bed. 

“stay here,” patton commands. “i’m gonna do what you want.”

“you say that like i’m not just asking you put on your pajamas and brush your teeth,” virgil says, amused, and patton rolls his eyes even as he bends to kiss virgil.

“the next one will be minty-fresh,” patton informs him, before he flounces off to the bathroom. the last thing he sees is virgil sitting on his bed and bending to remove his boots, a smile playing about his lips.

when he comes back, virgil’s tugging on a t-shirt, one he’d left the last time he spent the night, and patton flops happily onto his bed, watching as virgil smooths down the hem. virgil turns, and patton pats the other side of the bed.

“minty-fresh, huh?” virgil asks, as he lifts the covers and slides into place.

patton grins at him. “shameless,” he teases, before he leans in to kiss virgil, and patton can taste that virgil had brushed his teeth, too, probably before he’d even come over, the kiss soft and sleepy, and patton smiles as they pull back.

“love you,” patton says, and presses a kiss to virgil’s shoulder for emphasis.

“i love you too,” virgil says. “lamp off?” 

“yeah, sure,” patton says, and virgil leans up. the room’s doused in darkness. patton reaches for virgil and settles his head onto virgil’s chest.

“your shift was really okay, though?” patton asks, shifting in place to get comfy.

“yeah, ‘course,” virgil says, and adjusts slightly himself, settling his hand on patton’s shoulder blade.

“you sure?”

“why wouldn’t i be sure?”

“because,” patton says, “and, no pressure whatever you decide, but you got kinda weird with roman, and i’m wondering if it was just a momentary fluke of weirdness or something that you maybe wanted to talk about.”

virgil freezes. patton feels him tense. 

“oh,” virgil says quietly. “that.”

“yeah,” patton says softly, and leans a little so that he can try to see virgil’s face with the slivers of light slanting through his blinds from the half-moon tonight.

virgil chews his lip for a few seconds, before he blurts out, “remus liked mcr.”

oh. roman’s dad.

patton had met him once, one time, if you could even call it meeting—he’d accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation between virgil and remus, and that’s how he’d known that remus was going to become a father. patton had asked virgil about him, after, and virgil had said he was an old friend, promised to introduce patton to him, maybe introduce remus’ kid to logan, once he was out of the womb.

and then he’d died. and virgil hadn’t talked about him very much since.

“yeah?” patton prompts, voice gentle and soft.

“yeah,” virgil says, a little rough, and he clears his throat, squirming a little. “uh—he mostly liked stuff that most people… didn’t really like, i guess. stuff outside of the norm. he had the biggest cd collection of anyone i knew. metal, punk rock, screamo, witch house.” a flicker of a smile. “medieval folk rock.”

“medieval folk rock?” patton says, voice edged in a laugh.

“if it was weird, he liked it,” virgil says. “god, the things he’d play on the radio, sometimes… we’d be going to egg someone’s house or something, and he’d be blaring slavic polka or ectofolk or just—” virgil snorts, “—one time, he just kept playing it’s a small world. for a week. i could’ve strangled him.”

“he sounds like he was funny,” patton offers.

“you’d have to have a very specific sense of humor to find him funny,” virgil says. 

“did you?” patton says. “find him funny, i mean.”

“mm. sometimes. some things he said, i thought he was funny. others… others kind of scared me,” virgil says. he clears his throat. “remus didn’t particularly have a filter when it came to gross, taboo ideas, and he wasn’t shy about sharing them. doing them, sometimes. he was voted most likely to go to prison when he graduated from sideshire high.”

patton doesn’t really know what to say to that. so he just says, “ah.”

“i’m not sure if you would have liked each other,” virgil says.

“hey,” patton says, frowning.

“oh, you would have tried,” virgil says. “remus would have seen you were trying. he’d say something as a test, something you’d get uncomfortable with. you’d be polite about it and try to change the subject. but remus probably would have seen that you were uncomfortable with the stuff he said, and he would have delighted in grossing you out even more.”

patton considers this, before he says, “like boys on the playground who chase people with a worm on a stick to get everyone to squeal, or something?”

virgil huffs out a laugh. “sure,” he says. “that’s a good enough way to put it. tame, when it’s applied to remus, but… yeah. that’s the gist of it.”

“so,” patton says. “mcr.”

“and seeing roman, sitting there…” virgil says, and exhales a huge, gusting sigh. “face-wise, he looks so much like his dad.”

“face-wise?”

“remus was taller,” virgil says. “i know roman’s not done growing yet, so they might even out, but—but remus had a longer torso, shorter legs. different ears. remus always had dark under-eye circles. there’s something about the hands, too, i think. he was clumsier. had a less muscular build. remus wasn’t much of a dancer—well, he could lift isadora, but that’s about it, and i think that’s mostly because she’s tiny.”

“got it.”

“plus, i mean, remus was white, and since isadora's mexican, roman clearly isn't white, but—but roman’s face… i mean, slap a mustache on there and a white streak in his hair, and put that plotting look on his face that he gets sometimes, and i don’t think i’d be able to tell them apart.”

“like the plotting look like he had at dinner tonight,” patton realizes quietly.

“yeah,” virgil says, then, again, a little choked up. “yeah.”

patton wiggles closer and hugs virgil tighter. 

“you could tell him about him,” patton suggests quietly. “roman about remus, i mean. i bet he’d love to know.”

“maybe,” virgil says. “i spent most of shift thinking about it. i just—you know.”

“miss him?”

“yeah.”

patton isn’t very familiar with grief; his grandparents, barring his granny lorelai, all died either before he was born or when he was a baby. the handful of funerals he went to were for people that he didn’t know very well—relatives he’d seen three times before, old “family friends” that his parents had fallen out of touch with, a couple business partners of his father’s—and so the only part he’s familiar with is this part. the comforting part.

“i’m sorry,” patton says quietly. “is there anything i can do?”

virgil let out a shaky exhale, and his grip tightens. “this is good.”

“okay,” patton says, and holds him tighter. “okay.”

⁂

i came to win, win, win, better show me what you goti came to bring the fire ‘cause you know i like it hotgonna win, win, win, ‘cause i’m full of tiger bloodi’m vicious like a viper and i’m ready to turn it on!

roman bops his head absentmindedly, headphones soundly on his ears, focus… maybe not quite so sound, but he’s at least holding a pencil and looking at his homework, so he thinks that counts as an attempt at focus on this stupid homework. like, who even needs proofs in real life?

so when a cup that looks like it’s full of soda is set in front of him, roman’s eager to hit pause and set down his pencil, looking up at his deliverer.

“uh, hey,” virgil says. “you busy?”

“not really,” roman lies brightly, pushing aside his homework. virgil’s eyes narrow when he sees it.

“you’re doing homework.”

“it can wait,” roman says, putting down his pencil. “seriously, it can wait. i want it to wait.”

“yeah, kid, that’s half the problem,” virgil retorts, tilting the textbook a little so that he can read, and his brow furrows. “geometry proofs?”

“like i said,” roman says, shoving his papers into the textbook before he closes it, “it can wait.”

“yeah, i guess,” virgil says, and he slides into the seat across from roman, holding onto his own beverage—a mug, probably with decaf coffee, or something—which he’s tap-tap-tapping his fingernails against. “uh. still not a math person?”

“yeah, archi-melancholy, because most people going into dance and theater and the fine arts are so well-known to be math people,” roman quips, and virgil smiles, just a little.

“archimedes joke?”

“i tried,” roman says. “again. not a math person.”

he takes a sip. cherry coke. the actual good kind with caffeine and full sugar and everything. which means that either virgil’s good mood has lasted two days—doubtful, considering he’s fidgeting with his mug—or he’s about to attempt a vague Emotional Talk, or something. he’s pretty sure he picked up the habit of giving people food they like as a special treat whenever there’s the possibility of upset from patton. or maybe it started with patton. who knows.

“so, uh,” virgil says. “what’re you listening to?”

“pop song,” roman says. “after your time. i think it’s too young for you. and it’s also, like, slightly cheerful and confidence-boosting.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you’ve been sneak-playing mcr for the past two days,” roman says accusingly. 

“they’re a good band,” virgil protests, and then, with an affected, forceful casualness, “your dad liked them too.”

roman pauses. hearing about his dad is kind of like… well, honestly, it’s kind of like hearing about bigfoot, or mothman, or yetis, or some other kind of cryptid. sure, people might have seen him. roman never had. sure, people had interacted with him. roman hadn’t. sure, people had stories about him. roman didn’t. sure, people might have blurry, strange pictures that roman had touched, stared at, seen his whole life. roman didn’t have one with him, not even his dad holding him as a baby. remus duke is almost a larger-than-life, obscure piece of sideshire mythology. remus duke, the famous horror author, with the tragic death, who’d once been the mysterious partner in crime with local loner virgil, who’d bravely volunteered to co-parent with the fearsome isadora prince. people might have seen him. believed in him. 

roman feels like a cryptid hunter, sometimes. like he’s doomed to always be questing out into the mysterious unknown, searching for some evidence, some form of personal connection, some story that’s his. he’s almost always come up empty.

doesn’t stop him from turning back for another quest.

he takes another sip. and, in an affected, forcefully casual tone, he says, “did he?”

virgil clears his throat. “yeah. uh—yeah.”

“that’s… cool,” roman says. 

“i kind of—“ virgil coughs. “i mean, i, uh. sorry for the whole awkward… hugging thing. i just—you know. i think he would have been happy. to hear they were back together.”

roman swallows and looks down into his cup. “oh.”

he would have been happy. roman hears that sometimes. apparently, his dad would have been happy that he turned out dancing like his mom. apparently, his dad would have been happy that he had once tackled a mean kid at sideshire for calling logan annoying. apparently, his dad would have been happy that my chemical romance reunited.

it’s not like roman would know.

roman taps his fingernails against the cup and looks back up at virgil, before he says, “were they his favorite?”

“huh?”

“my chemical romance,” roman elaborates. “were they my dad’s favorite band?”

“ah, no,” virgil says. “no. he, uh—he liked a lot of bands. his favorites changed a lot. but he liked, um—he liked the residents, and captain beefheart and the magic band. oh, and rockbitch.”

roman’s lip twitches. “captain beefheart?”

“it was a band from the sixties,” virgil says. “lots of experimental stuff. he liked everything as long as it was weird.”

“yeah, i’ve heard,” roman says. 

virgil hesitates, before he says, “once, he just played it’s a small world on loop for a week.”

roman cringes at the very idea. virgil laughs.

“yeah, i think that reaction was half the reason,” he says. “i think i, um. i think i’ve still got his cd collection in some boxes, stored away. he had the biggest music collection of anyone i’d ever met. i think the idea of spotify or music streaming the way we’ve got now would’ve given him heart palpitations.”

“of stress?”

“of excitement,” virgil corrects, and his lips twitch up in a bittersweet kind of smile. “he would have hacked the diner playlist and stuffed it full of rickrolling and a ten-hour gregorian chant remix and cotton eye joe and peanut butter jelly time and some pirate shanties, with, like, jesus take the wheel and that one song about christmas shoes thrown in for color.”

roman laughs, and virgil looks relieved.

“but, i figured,” virgil says, and shrugs. “i think you like music even more than him, maybe. so if you’ve got a stereo somewhere, you could—you could take any cd you want from it. i’m sure your mom would be thrilled to hear the dulcet tones of tuvan throat singing blaring in the apartment again.”

“okay,” roman says, and his voice comes out more eager than he means it to. “i—yeah, okay. i’d like that.”

“yeah?” virgil says.

“yeah,” roman says.

“uh, virgil?” jean calls. “the oven’s doing the smoking thing again!”

virgil curses under his breath, getting to his feet, before he taps his fingers against the table. “just—let me know when, yeah? i can show you the mcr album he doodled all over. practically gave it new cover art.”

“okay,” roman says.

“and do your homework!” virgil shouts over the din of concerned customers, even as he’s heading for the kitchen.

roman sighs, but tugs his textbook closer and opens it again.

the smile reappears on his face when, a couple songs later, a g-note rings throughout the diner.

[marveliciousfanace]

# 43,

I assume this was for the combo prompts, but since I was never given clarification I took the liberty of doing 43 for all three lists. Hopefully this was something close to what you wanted? It’s sickeningly sweet either way. Read it below the cut or here on AO3.

Data glanced up when the door banged open, his fingers pausing momentarily on the Risian lute he’d been playing, the last note still vibrating through his fingers as Tasha staggered in, laden with bags. She glanced over at him, and smirked, “Well, don’t stop on my account.”

Data set the instrument aside, moving from the sofa to help his wife with the bags. She had two sashed over her shoulder, knocking against her hip as she moved, and another two on each arm, her muscles visibly straining as she hauled them towards the kitchen of their little homestead. Data liberated four of them from her, in spite of her protests, latching the screen door behind her with his free hand. He set the bags on the kitchen table while Tasha dropped hers to the floor, folding her arms and raising her eyebrows at him.

Her sleeveless tunic left her arms bare, tanned from her time in the sun, and her hair had been gathered up with a string, pulled into a low ponytail that bared most of her neck, a few escaped strands curling with the heat. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, and it was this collective, beautiful picture that Data would blame for the moment it took him to respond. Time had been kind to Tasha, and middle age suited her. It was a thought he’d had before, but it still managed to catch him off guard every time.

“I wished to assist you,” he said. “You were having difficulties.”

“I was doing fine,” Tasha needled good-naturedly. She crouched to begin unpacking. “I may not be as fit as I was at thirty, but I can still kick your ass.”

“Of course, dear.” Data opened the bags on the table, removing items from them and organizing them on the table by where they belonged, while Tasha moved around him, shelving items one at a time. They had done it enough times that stepping out of her way was easy, a cue as familiar as the dance steps he had taught her for their wedding, over two decades ago. He smiled to himself, and Tasha pinched his side.

“You’ve got that look again,” she teased. “Wedding or honeymoon?”

“Am I so predictable?”

“To me, you are.” Tasha gave him a quick peck on the cheek, her hand lingering for just a moment before she went back to work.

“It was our wedding,” Data told her. “I was thinking about our first dance.”

Tasha chuckled. “I remember.” She twirled, her layered skirt flaring around her legs, and Data watched, a swell of affection surging over him. She caught the edge of the table, grinning at him. “My feet were sore for weeks.”

“I did tell you to sit down.”

“I wasn’t going to sit down. It was my wedding!” Tasha bumped Data’s hip with her own, reaching around him to pluck the vine of tomatoes from his grip. “Besides, it wasn’t like we didn’t spend plenty of our honeymoon laying around.”

“I seem to recall someone insisting that rock-climbing was vital to our enjoyment of the time off.”

“Aside from that.” A breeze rustled in through the open window, ruffling Tasha’s hair. She brushed it back out of her face, and the wooden slats beneath their feet creaked as Tasha rocked back on her heels. “Besides. You would have carried me if I got too tired.”

Data scooped her up now, depositing her on the table as Tasha squeaked with delight, throwing her arms around his neck for balance. “Data!”

He rubbed his nose against hers. “I enjoy carrying you,” he murmured.

Tasha’s fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, slipping under the collar to swipe gently along his skin. “I like it when you carry me too,” she whispered, and tilted her head up to press a soft kiss to his lips before leaning back again. She tapped his chest with a hand. “Come on. We need to finish unpacking. Will and Deanna are coming by later, and if things are still a mess when their shuttle drops them off, Thad and Kestra will make off with all the crackers.”

“It has been a few years since we have seen them. Perhaps their children are better behaved now.”

Tasha gave him a sceptical look, but it broke with her smile. “Because an older Troi-Riker never got into any trouble.”

“A fair point.”

Tasha hopped off the table, scooping up a handful of vegetables and depositing them into a basket by the sink. “Is it weird that I miss having kids in the house? I mean, they never really lived here, but…”

Data set a hand on her shoulder. “I am familiar with the sensation.” Tatum had been a junior grade lieutenant, and Lyra and Aletris pursuing their training at Starfleet Medical and the Vulcan Science Exchange respectively well before Data and Tasha had even claimed this house as a temporary vacation home, much less by the time they’d retired. Having time to themselves was nice, but that didn’t make the quiet less disconcerting at times.

He wrapped his arms around Tasha’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “We could have another one, if you would like.”

Tasha laughed and elbowed him gently. “The last time you said, ‘let’s think about adopting,’ we ended up with three in two years. I’m not sure I have that kind of stamina anymore.”

“Your stamina appears sufficient to me.” Data grinned as Tasha shoved him lightly. “I was referring to your outburst earlier. Surely, if you do not need my assistance with the groceries, chasing after children should not be an issue.”

Tasha rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“A fact which I am constantly thankful for.”

Tasha groaned theatrically. “How did I end up marrying the cheesiest man alive?”

“As I understand it, I proposed, and you accepted.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Tasha shook her head, but she was grinning. “What was I thinking?” She dragged Data in by the front of his vest, pulling him until his chest was flush with hers. Data glanced down at her lips, then back to her eyes, and Tasha smiled coyly. She leaned in, and then stopped, shoving gently, “Finish your work, mister, or there’ll be hell to pay.”

“Promise?”

She laughed and pushed a little harder. “What happened to the innocent Data I met on the Enterprise? The one who wouldn’t understand a joke like that, much less make one?”

“He fell in love with a very demanding woman.” Data swooping in to steal one last kiss, then darted away before Tasha could retaliate, folding up the discarded bags and returning them to their rightful place by the door before helping Tasha finish up in the kitchen.

When they were done, Tasha collapsed onto the sofa, picking up Data’s lute and plucking absently at the strings. “What were you playing before?”

Data sat beside her and took the instrument from her, adjusting it as Tasha snuggled into his side. “I was transposing,” he said.

“Oh?” She tilted her head up to look at him, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Which song?”

Data feigned like he hadn’t heard her, tightening one of the strings to retune the sound. Tasha nudged him. “It’s our song, isn’t it? The one you wrote for me?”

Data fought a smile as he settled the lute in his lap, plucking the opening chords. He stopped abruptly and teased, “You have heard it many times. You must be tired of it by now.”

“Just shut up and play the damn song,” Tasha said, and Data grinned, resettling the instrument in his arms and letting the melody wash out into the little cabin. Tasha closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. Data closed his eyes too, playing from memory, and let the bubble envelope them for just this moment.

[doomedandstoned]

Wasteland Coven Summon Doom From the Rust Belt

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

You're about to meet a true blue, dyed in the wool doom band from Ohio, which I discovered just a few weeks ago. This is WASTELAND COVEN, aptly named considering the industrial devastation that has visited the midwest, accentuated now even more in a time of pandemic. 'Ruined' (2020) is their debut EP and it features a singer, Susan Mitchel, that I would rank with Susie MacMullen of Brume and Dorthia Cottrell of Windhand. Sometimes vocalists try to pull off that coveted, full-bodied range, but end up sounding thin and wobbly. Not here.

Performing double duty on bass, Susan is joined in this Toledo crew by guitarists Bill Anderson and Brandon Collins, along with drummer Jason Wilcox. This is meat and potatoes doom, too, each of the three tracks on Ruined bearing the formative influences of Candlemass and Saint Vitus (the vocal cadence and guitar solos of "The Great Colossus"), Trouble and My Dying Bride (the mysterious and dramatic "Endless Night"), and the aforementioned Windhand (the riff laden intro to "Midsummer Days").

This mix of beauty and beast works well for Wasteland Coven. Susan's vocals take wings with sad urgency, rising above the dense, darkly downtuned procession of smoke and fire. Bittersweet leads break through the haze here and again, too, if for no other reason than to accent the gravity of the moment.

I've listened to the EP multiple times in a row and it is substantial enough to keep my appetite for doom satiated, without overstaying its welcome with an overly-familiar taste. Look for its release on Friday, April 17th (pre-order CD here), and listen to the record whole right here, right now via Doomed & Stoned!

Give ear...

Ruined by Wasteland Coven

A Chat with Wasteland Coven Guitarist Brandon Collins

Take us back to the band's origins. How did it all begin for you guys?

Things got started in late 2018, when our drummer Jason posted on Facebook asking if anybody wanted to play something dark and heavy. He was already playing in a punk band (The Old Breed) and a noise rock band (Sog City) so he was really looking to start more of a Manilla Road inspired band - he's a big Manilla Road fan. Sue (bass and vocals) and I (guitar) were both interested in Jason's pitch but style shifted a little bit as we all got together. By the first time we met up, he said to aim for Candlemass meets My Dying Bride (which I declared sorcery) and from there we drifted into the doom menagerie that we're at now.

Jason quickly roped in another guitar player, but after a month or two he lost interest, so we spent some time looking for another. During that search period we sketched out our first songs and booked some studio time for later in the year - we were going to record what we had regardless of who we had. Eventually Sue reached out to Bill who solidified the lineup midway through 2019 and we were officially a band. We practiced, finished up the songs as a four piece, and went to Lakebottom Recording House in September 2019.

How about a walk-through of the songs on 'Ruined' (2020)?

Midsummer Days

I think we all agree that this is the best song on here. It was going to be a shorter and simpler song originally, but it really kind of blossomed with all of us adding new bits to it. Lyrics mainly involve the imagery and feelings of a dying world. Really it's a sad, poetic veil over the changing of seasons, summer to fall to winter - seeing everything in nature fade and decay as seasonal depression kicks in. Admittedly, "Midsummer Days" isn't really a doomy title, but when you realize that they're dead. That'll teach you to judge too quickly! Kinda had to push Sue a bit to do the "trailing off into the void" vocals right at the end. She was reluctant, but I'm really glad she did them. It really adds some resonating loneliness.

Great Colossus

So originally, I came up with the riffs for this, played them for Jason, and when he added drums, his style immediately put Sue in mind of robots -- giant robots. And that drove us to make this our weirdest song lyrically, about falling in love with a giant robot with sexual overtones. Sue and I went back and forth on the lyrics for this one a lot, tweaking it to put just the right sultry spin on something cold and mechanical. This song sort of prompted the cover art. Around the time we were recording songs Sue was at an art show and saw the piece. Made her think of the song and said we needed it on our EP!

Endless Night

This was our first song, so I like to say it has first song syndrome -- not quite as strong as the others and maybe sticks out a little more 'cause you're trying to find your direction. But the main riff and the solos are still fun, so why not? Since it was going to be the first song for our doom band, the lyrics hit on a pretty typical doom metal topic: death. But I suppose the twist is that it's more about setting aside your fears and finding peace in your demise -- even as the music kind of betrays that peace and hints at the dread and dark thoughts behind it all. Solos here were fun to do. I take the first half of the solo section and Bill takes the second half, so we each get a chance to go our own direction just meeting for a moment to hand it off in the middle.

What was the recording process like for the band?

The bulk of it was done over the course of two weekends, September 27-29 and October 4-6 in 2019 (with a bit of touch up and review a few times afterwards). We went to Lakebottom Recording House in Toledo owned and operated by J.C. Griffin. Jason had recorded with J.C. many times before and refused to go anywhere else. But for the rest of us, it was our first time there and it was fantastic.

It's hard to imagine how it would have worked out with anyone else. J.C. is super encouraging and immediately invested in making sure you're getting a great sound - he's gives great direction for process, equipment, and performance. Really great weekends overall hanging out and playing music the whole time. The hardest part might have actually been the work week in between those two weekends -- coming down from all the joys and excitement with days full of music made "regular" life such a dull slog where we were just desperate to go back and do it again. Easily the most fun and best experience I've had recording.

In retrospect, maybe it was a bit weird that we were all so happy and having such a great time producing this melancholy music, but I don't think we put any thought into it at the time. Susan was extremely nervous and self-conscious when it came time to do her vocals, but with enough liquid courage she nailed it.

It looks like you had the album cover commissioned?

Artwork was done by Jackie McKown who lives here in Toledo. Sue saw the piece at an art show where Jackie was showing her stuff. These giant robot creatures wrecking shit was pretty in line with the initial themes of Great Colossus - it was lacking the sex/love angle, but it still fit just fine with the kind of destructive war-machines that could inspire love. Sue was very taken with it right away, so we went with it.

There's also presumably death and longing for better times involved in that kind of city-wide rampage, so you can tie into the other tracks as well. We sort of let that guide us, having the artwork inspire the title "Ruined." We had a city being ruined on the cover and we could find some form of ruination in each song. Then when it came time to lay everything out, we decided to ruin things a little more, adding wrinkles and dirt marks and imperfections.

This last question is just for the gearheads! Tell us what you're sporting these days?

Brandon: Epiphone Les Paul Studio guitar with an Orange Crush CR120C amp (frequently used to accidentally drown out everyone else), and for pedals: Big Muff Pi (with Tone Wicker), MXR EVH Phase 90, Cry Baby Wah.

Sue: Ibanez BTB 5 String Quilt Top bass, DR Dragon Skin strings (allergic to nickel), with a Fender Rumble 500 Combo amp and Big Muff Pi pedal.

Bill: ESP LTD Viper-256 w/Gibson 498T bridge guitar, ESP LTD EC-100 w/EMG 81/85. Amps include Peavey Valveking 2x12, Carvin X100-B 100 watt head*, and Carvin 4x12 Cab (used as needed). Pedal of choice: Digitech GNX4 Multi-Effects.

Jason: Tama Rockstar Drums.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|

Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:

Rose, puns.  Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too.  :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her??????  D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.

Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

[jojosthetic-boogaloo]

Hello, I'm back! I'd really like a matchup please (M!)! I'm a white girl, who is 5'4" with green/blue and gold brown eyes and wavy to slightly curly extremely dark brown hair. I love to read (mostly historical fiction), write stories, and play video games, most of which are on the rpg genre. Most of my friends say that i am very nice and willing to help anyone who needs it, as well as having a very dark sense of humor. Most people don't know that i also have a really bad short temper, that used

Welcome back, Emily dear! Thank you so much for the kind words!!! <3 The matchup is all yours, hope you like it! //AND sorry for taking a while!!! Lemme tag you (if tumblr lets me) so you get the notification @emilyd-i-c-k-ens ;;//

Okay this is gonna sound a bit weird, but at first I didn’t know who to match you up with! Why? Because except on the physical aspect, you and I are pretty similar! Imagine the struggle of not just slapping in here a moodboard of my biggest stinky jojo crush...

NO MATTER! I found the answer in the end! And it’s double, so bare with me please!

Translation: “Love, with you by my side, I can do anything!”

Narancia Ghirga!

He just finds your natural charm and mature air tremendously magnetic. It’s like you’re exactly the balance he needs in his life. 

You met at the movies when you went to see the same one, you went by yourselves so when you sat down and saw the theater almost empty and the single spot between you two vacant, Narancia just decided to sit next to you and give you a bright smile to start up chatting before the movie started rolling.

You had time to introduce yourselves, and you heard him ramble on how much he liked this kinda movies! He was so excited it made you feel his own excitement in return, making you naturally relaxed and bubbly around him.

When you got out of the movies, he chatted with you about it all the way outside, with your small input from time to time when he slowed down for a second. Once outside under the night’s sky, he seemed to look around curious, raising an eyebrow and looking back at you while scratching the back of his head. “Say, Y/N, is no one coming to fetch you? It’s pretty late to walk around alone...” He drifted off, even more surprised when you shook your head to confirm that, in fact, no one was coming. 

“Well, in that case, I’ll walk you to your house, if you don’t mind it!” He asserted, showing you some quite comical flexing and posing to pretend he was strong and fearsome. “Alright, let’s get going then, Narancia.”

You didn’t live that far from the theater, so it didn’t worry you to make him lose his own path back to his own place. While you walked in silence, his hands in his pockets and kicking the occasional peeble on the pavement, he seemed to steal quick glances on your direction, thinking you didn’t notice.

“Something on my face, Nara?” You asked, both amused and curious. His reaction made you chuckle, as he shook his head from side to side violently and turned his gaze away from you. “No it’s...” He started, quietly. After a sigh from him, he finished his sentence. “You look pretty, that’s it.” Even if his tone sounded uninterested, you knew full well he was actually very embarrassed. The shade on his cheeks and his slight pout gave him away.

“Why, thank you, you look handsome too.” He gave you a look, his lips contorted into a lopsided smile and his eyes cast into the ground before him. Taking one of his hands to the back of his head, he kept walking with a small smile on his face. “Well, thanks, Y/N.” That was the first time a girl as pretty as you had called him handsome. Hell, the only one that called him that sometimes had been Buccellati when he asked if an outfit was ill-fitting on himself.

Before you’d realized, you stood at your door, turning to face him and give him a smile. “Thank you Narancia, it was a pleasure to walk home with you.” You started, not expecting the dark haired male to almost instantly extend his arm towards you, firmly grasping a phone in his hand that pointed in your direction. “P-please, could I have your number, Y/N?” Silence, and Ghirga felt some sweat beads on his temples. “I-I mean, I just really want to keep taking because you’re so nice and, and we like the same stuff and well I-” He was cut off by you gently hoovering your index finger on his lips, taking his unlocked phone and introducing your number in his contacts. “Saved.” You announced, giving him back his device and turning around once more, and waving him off with a little amused smile on your face.

He gave a little jump in front of your now closed door, that you didn’t fail to notice since you could see him through the window right next to it. This adorable gesture made you let out an amused small chuckle and a hand be brought to your chest. He was a cute one, and you wanted to get to know him better. 

Almost around midnight, a text message entered your notifications from a new number, and you smiled. You couldn’t fall asleep thinking on how well your evening went, and the cause of that state just texted you without even thinking that people are usually asleep at that hour.

“Wanna go the arcade tmrrw??” Yes! You wanted to! And you let him know. 

You went to the arcade and spent a wonderful time in there! He’d playfully bump your shoulders together when playing on the racing games, making you lose your balance to give him advantage. Whine even if he was amused when you beat him in crane games, and even sticking his arm inside with the risk of sticking it inside to get you a price that didn’t quite fall right!

It was a cute teddy bear, the perfect size to sit in your palm. Fluffy as all could be, and it held a small heart between its tiny arms. Narancia gave you a shy smile. “It reminds me of you and me, Y/N!” He said, cheery. “Why is that?” You replied between giggles and fist-bumping his shoulder gently. He reluctantly rose his hand to his neck and looked down. “Well.” He started. “We just met it, and it already holds a heart between its hands. You two are similar.” You took a second to understand what he meant, giving him a shy smile. Damn, he really went for it all huh?

“That’s so sweet, Narancia.” You replied, giving him a soft smile and gently grabbing his wrist, only to tug at it and start leading the way. “Come on, I wanna try and beat you on DDR*. Winner gets to challenge the other on whatever they want.” 

The violet eyed male blinked a few times before smiling and following after you with an excited step. He was very good at DDR, excellent almost. As you stood both in your positions, one to the other’s side, he was already thinking about what he’d challenge you to.

As soon as the coins slid down the slot and you’d chosen your song, it was clear that neither of you were playing around. Nevertheless, Narancia’s movements were smoother, precise, his “Perfect!!” combo streak never faltering. You, on the other hand, were growing weary. Why’d he have to choose the difficulty? You were trying your best to keep up, when you slid your arms behind you and rested them on the support bar, while looking at the screen and trying to keep up. Unfortunately, last minute, when you tried to step on the correct arrow, your foot slipped and you fell on your butt, the last 4 arrows going by and the song ending with a nice little tune. Of course, Narancia had won.

“Y/N! Are you okay??” He missed his last notes to come immediately help you up though; and you couldn’t help but smile at him and swat your free hand to make him rest assured, while your other hand was the one he held tightly to help you. “I’m... fine, don’t worry.” You stared at him, he was close. 

He gave you a lopsided smile, never letting go of your hand as he almost hoovered over you, you could barely feel his chest press on yours. “You know what, I think I know what I challenge you to, Y/N.” He started, tilting his head slightly to the side as he gave your face a short scan with his beautiful eyes up and down.

“Yeah? ... What is it?” You replied, your voice quiet, feeling a weird sensation turn and tighten in your stomach, your heartbeat in your ears. He smiled, showing you his slightly pointy canines and leaning close to place a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. 

“I challenge you to have another date with me, next time, we can meet in my apartment, I got Danganronpa on my PC.” You raised your eyebrow and gave his shoulder another soft punch. “That, that fills me with hope.” You replied, making him chuckle and gently let go of you, holding his hands behind his back. “Well then, it’s settled!” He exclaimed, balancing his body on his feet one time on his tip toes and one time on his heels. “I would have been filled with despair, otherwise.” 

You laughed at his reference and gave him an amused smile. You liked him, you really did.

After you start dating some months later, he’s just... a wonderful boyfriend, you really have no complaints. He loves to laze around with you at home, playing whatever games you particularly enjoy. He particularly loved to watch you play Stardew Valley, he found it relaxing, even if sometimes, he got pouty and was overly clingy almost not letting you move when he noted that “You married a small pixel character and had two children and he was stuck as the pillow boyfriend”. You smacked him softly when he said such stupid things, but, it made you laugh, and he knew that.

Get ready for lots of cuddling and just physical affection while you watch movies at home together. Sometimes, you’ll feel him shake if something on the movie disturbed him. Occasional screaming when he gets scared. You noted he feels more distressed when watching indie horror movies, such as the Blair Project. He claims “he just likes the adrenaline they give him” when you ask him why he watches if he’s scared.

Fugo Pannacotta!

He finds support and understanding in you, he sees you as a strong pillar, he really admires you! As a person who’s had some problems with keeping his rage under check, he finds your understanding of the situation very assuring; he feels like a completely normal guy when he’s with you.

He thinks you’re the most interesting person around that does not get on his nerves, ever. (Narancia, does, even if he loves him very much, all has to be said.) You read very interesting books too! He respects that hobbie, sometimes he’ll sit with you to read his own and then quietly comment on how’s each other’s lecture going.

Your dark humor... He loves it. Each time you crack a way too dark for normal comfort joke, he absolutely cracks up. He just really likes how you have no trouble saying such things, besides, that’s his type of humor too man! He loves that!

He really likes your eyes! That’s a weird trait, but he really likes to focus on people’s eyes, and yours were so pretty and full of depth, he really liked what your eyes communicated. It made him feel assured and relaxed around you.

A smaaaaall side note on the * ; For the younger peeps, DDR means Dance Dance Revolution. And in my time (I mean i’m not THAT old but yeah), it was basically the most popular, fun and stressing dance game there was at the arcade back then. Now it’s rare to find one of those machines, at least where I live! 

[curemoonliite]

Premiere Nebula Modern AU Headcanons

(AKA how I think these future girls would act in 2019.)

Omega:

—Cartoon fangirl. Since her theme color is rainbow and she’s an artist, her faves would probably be the crazy colorful ones like She-Ra, Steven Universe, and MLP.

—Sells her art on the convention and Maker Faire circuit.

—Likes listening to indie music.

—Isn’t big on superheroes, but Stelle bought her a Thor jacket once for a gift exchange/secret Santa (kind of as a joke about her lightning powers), and she still wears it around a lot.

—Likes investigating urban legends, but isn’t quite as daring as the YouTubers who regularly go into abandoned buildings. (She may not be as easily scared as she was before the altering, but she’s still got anxiety, so like me, she’d be much too freaked out about getting caught.)

Valka:

—Watches true crime documentaries and claims she’s doing it for intel about how villains think. (Which is true, but she also wants to see if her case ever comes up, if people ever suspect one of the country’s major leaders of being the Manufacturer.)

—Likes tabletop games, especially if they’re strategy-based.

—Wears silly workout shirts, mainly because she thinks an athletic sun elemental wearing a “sun’s out guns out” shirt is the funniest thing ever. The other Nebula members understand that anything that gets their leader out of her trauma for a little bit is good, but still find it hard to take her seriously if she’s wearing one during briefing.

—Uses the “sparks joy”/“does not spark joy” meme incessantly, because her last name is Sparks and she secretly has a terrible sense of humor. Will instinctively say “this does not spark joy” in a tired voice whenever she’s disappointed.

—Because her younger sister Io loves anime, and because she has black hair and blue fire, she has been roped into cosplaying Dabi several times, often while Io cosplays as Todoroki. She was annoyed at first about this but realizes that this is probably the one time people get excited about seeing her use her powers. (“She did the thing! She did the thing!”) Plus, she actually doesn’t mind playing a villain once in a while.

—Definitely watches “mind game” anime like The Promised Neverland and Death Note.

Io:

—Was an unbearable hipster in her early teens.

—Probably owns at least three Jurassic Park T-shirts.

—Shitposter of the group.

—Was the one who got Valka hooked on true crime shows.

—Is currently the one trying to peer pressure Omega into exploring abandoned buildings.

—Likes YouTube amusement park documentaries, even though she’s only been to a few in her life because of the Manufacturer’s terrible parenting.

Xue:

—Definitely likes fairy-kei and Lolita fashion, and often looks at street fashion blogs for inspiration.

—Has successful managed to choreograph her ice magic to match Elsa’s in Let It Go. Is currently working on the other Frozen scenes in hopes of someday mastering the entire movie.

—Probably dresses up as Elsa for little kids, because she’s that good of a person. The kids love seeing an Elsa who actually has ice powers!

—Goes on advice blogs a lot and tries to help as many people as she can on them.

—Once got a “my shield doesn’t fit in my workout bag” novelty exercise shirt from Valka, and only wears it to be nice. (Needless to say, the Nebula gift exchange was a bust.)

Xing:

—That one YouTuber who exclusively does metal covers of non-metal songs.

—Secretly has an Instagram poetry account, where she writes under a pen name to preserve her “street cred.” (“It’s one thing to write your own songs—online poetry is not rock ‘n roll.”)

—Absolutely had an emo phase.

—Attempts to make a Nebula meme account along with Io. (Valka nixes the idea.)

—Overly aggressive Guardians of the Galaxy fan. (“If you try to tell me the Avengers are better one more time, Stelle, I will fight you.”)

Koto:

—Gets roped into joining the robotics team, and actually really likes it.

—Once ordered an absolutely massive mint chocolate shake (like the kind you see on food blogs), and regrets it immediately.

—Regularly gets in Internet fights with people who hate mint chocolate.

—Will talk your ear off about the similarities between Stormtroopers and military clones, and how the implications behind the fictional one tie into the treatment of the other, very real party.

—Likes Captain Marvel (because she reminds her of her girlfriend Stelle) and has a couple Captain Marvel T-shirts.

—Since Io likes anime in the modern AU, she would immediately see the resemblance between Koto and a gender-flipped Deku (green hair, freckles) and remark on it in battle. Once she watches the anime, she finds it’s pretty cool that they look alike. (And that the dark skin/green hair combo also makes her resemble Sailor Pluto.)

Stelle:

—Had (and probably still has) a DDR phase

—Really likes Captain America, because Winter Soldier was on TV when she was in the hospital, and she admired how he never gave up on Bucky in spite of his brainwashing. For a while, she wished she had someone like that in her life, until the Nebula members basically say “Koto’s right there, you idiot.”

—Would probably be the one to spam their page with mental health and trauma memes.

—Likes YA fantasy a lot, even the silly ones.

—Projects a lot onto fictional characters. (Particularly Bucky because of the whole “brainwashed assassin” situation, Captain Marvel because of the “fighting for the wrong side” situation, and Rapunzel because of the “kidnapped since infancy” situation.)

Kaine:

—Probably reads trashy romance novels.

—Absolutely mains Widowmaker. (I don’t even play Overwatch, and I know this. Sniper-type IRL, kinda goth, definitely a Widow main.)

—Teaches Stelle to play Widowmaker after she realizes how close their backstories are, and bonds with her over video games.

—Follows Gothic Lolita blogs, just like how Xue follows classic/sweet Lolita blogs.

—Likes horror movies, but doesn’t scare easily.

Phea:

—Has a beauty/social justice blog that isn’t really popular.

—Most of her popularity comes from her makeup videos, where she attempts increasingly weird and complex stage makeup designs. She’s the one who does Valka’s cosplay makeup for the Dabi costume.

—Is a big advocate for body positivity, and calls out every scam-endorsing celebrity she sees on Twitter.

—Is the type to bullet-journal every day out and make it as aesthetic as possible.

—Has mermaid-print everything.

[marthfador]

Heyyyy everybody. Idk this probably sounds like a weird thing to try to boost but like! If anyone has a Switch and they wanna try to get a tiny bit more active in their lives, I’d suggest getting that Fitness Boxing game! There’s a free trial in the store I think? It gives you a pretty good feel of what the game will hold for u!

But uh like. I find myself putting off going to the gym or really doing a lot lately. Combo of procrastination and just Depression lmao but!! I find myself a little more inclined to give my lil workout game a chance now and then merely because it’s Right There and tbh it’s kinda fun? It’s been making my heart pound and I’ve even been getting a lil bit of a sweat going with some of these workouts, I’m definitely already feeling a difference in my arms!

Readmore if u wanna see me talk more about it! Mobile users..... sry lol.

There’s admittedly not a lot game-y about the game- you do more workouts and you may be able to get more cool outfits for your coach and maybe some more fun songs to work out to, but it’s all based on fitness!

You can choose who you wanna work out with from these guys, and you’re even able to kinda customize them a bit more- changing hair and eye color, even skin color. Of course you can also give em new outfits as you go along to make em look neater! (I’ve actually chosen mr beefy on the far left lmao but tbh he’s got a more energetic voice than the girl you start with and it makes me feel a lil nicer when he says good job <:3c)

The gameplay is similar to that of a rhythm game. You’re told to take a stance and bop a little to the rhythm of the music. (Tbf I don’t have many places to be able to stand and play this, I just sorta do upper body while sitting down and it works just as well!)

Little icons scroll up the dotted lines on either side and you try to punch in time to get it in the circle. Like rhythm games, you can get a perfect, ok, or miss it completely and at the end it’ll tell you how many you got of each. While this all is happening, ur coach is in the middle mirroring what stance you should be in and what moves you should be doing in case you need to remember what the difference is between a jab and a hook. They’re also there to encourage you to keep on and will alert you to how many combos you may have left in your workout!

The main menu looks like this- you can track how many days you’ve done your workout and there’s a way to check how many calories you’ve burned and the like. You can also do free training on top of your daily if you wanna keep it going! The ‘my data’ at the bottom there is actually things such as your name, birthday, weight and height to kinda track your BMI if you wanted... But to be fair, they never really push you about it more than an alert now and then to keep updating if you want to keep track. As someone kinda iffy about weight-related things, it’s nice that it’s not very intrusive.

Also also you can tell your little trainer what you want to focus on for the most part! I personally got rid of stretching and told them to focus more upper-body since I’m stuck sitting and so far it’s been heavily into arm movement.

A lot of the things you can tell the trainer is if you’re trying to burn more calories, if you’re hoping to build muscle, or if you’re just kinda maintaining what you’ve got along with what parts of the body you want to focus on! It’s not a one-size-fits-all workout game, which I really appreciate!

I’ll also say about the music real quick- a lot of it’s fun to kinda mess around with while punching but tbh it’s not much more than background noise. When I first played it, I didn’t even recognize the song they were playing before I realized it’s mostly the music parts more than singing and such. So uh. Don’t get too extremely excited about the playlist, though I admit I’ve had fun bopping along to LMFAO and TImber with Ke$ha. You can favorite the songs you get and they’ll play those more often for you!

One last thing that I’ll say that keeps bringing me back to it- it’s all rather positive! I admit I’ve not done an awful job yet to warrant any sort of digital disappointment, but I’ve had a few rough runs... But even then, my trainer would simply say “You can do better!” with a rather cheerful tone of voice. It’s not blaming, it’s not shaming or anything- hey! You can do better, so let’s work on doing better! I know they’re just digital guys, but it’s nice to have that sort of positivity somewhere in your day, especially in something you’re still baby-stepping into! They’re incredibly kind and forgiving, pushing gently when you do bad and congratulating you when you do a good job! I have missed a day or two and they’ve not said anything yet, so there’s none of that “where have you been?” schtick! (Or at least not after just a day or two. Let’s see after I miss a week lol.)

I just really appreciate this game as someone who doesn’t have the time, room, mentality, energy, or drive to get myself to go to a gym or work out. It gets me moving more than I would otherwise! I’d also say this might be fun for anyone who’s already working out- perhaps as a warm-up before you head in? 

Lmk if ur interested and still have questions, maybe! I know switch games have steep prices but I find this one worth it!

[trans-siberian-orchestra-life]

Night Castle

Hi all! I will be posting mini-reviews of my favorite parts from each TSO album! I will go over band personnel, the story, and the music! Please enjoy! 

Night Castle was released in 2009, and was TSO’s second non-Christmas album! It is also their longest, with 26 total songs, and, to me at least, their most emotional album to date.

The album features many familiar faces, with lead singers being Jay Pierce, Jeff Scott Soto, Tim Hockenberry, Rob Evan, and Jennifer Cella. The band personnel is also very familiar, with Paul O’Neill, Chris Caffery, Angus Clark, Al Pitrelli, and Alex Skolnick on guitar, Robert Kinkell, Jon Oliva, Luci Butler, Shih-Yi Chang, Jane Mangini, and Derek Wieland on keyboards, Chris Altenhoff and Johnny Lee Middleton on bass, Roddy Chong and Anna Phoebe on violin and strings, and John O.Reilly and Jeff Plate on drums. And, with Dave Wittman on, as all TSO albums say, “drum, guitar, and bass inserts for those little things the rest of us forgot.”

It also features Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's Greg Lake on bass for Nutrocker!

And, not to mention the numerous amazing backing vocalists and instrumentalists!

Its a big album with big personnel, a big story, and even bigger music. Lets get into that~

---------

Night Enchanted

-Best hard opening to a TSO album

-HEEERE belieeeve a nigHT ENCHANTED S̸̟͋̉̔͛̀͋̃̑̑̈́̏̅̈́È̵̡̜̼̞͔̖̩̦̟̞̣͈̑̄̽̒͝E̸̛͖̯͙̜͕̟̽̈́̃̉̿̏̈͛̌͆̔̂́ͅE̵͙̙̞̯͚̹̲̟̙͐̀͑̍͊̚͜Ẹ̷̡͇̹͍̓̈́̏͑̄̅̀̎̈́̓̚E̶̛̱̖̘͓̹͍̟̭̲̲̽͋͒̀̓E̵͓̰̠̤̻̪̣̎͊̎͒N̴̢̧̜̰̦̰͓̯̗̦͚̘̝̑̔̌͂͐̀͊

-Very different song, like,,VERY DRAMATIC. ExtrEMLEY DRAMATIC

-Based on Verdi’s Requiem and Dies irae

-Has the Child Of the Night aria sandwiched in the middle

-So the falcon character sings the aria

-I don’t know how that works either

-then it KICKS IN AGAIN FULL POWER

-The pounding opening guitar motif that repeats is amazing

Childhood Dreams

-A very classical-based song, like, its very operatic

-The “controversial” song on the album. Only because people either love it or hate it. I love it. Its fun.

-CHILDhood CHILDhood CHILDhood

-Jay is singing from his SOUL here

-Lyrics are very whimsy:

“But then it's known to catch our eye And dare us all to once more try And with a childhood faith believe And that magic to retrieve As childhood dreams ...”

-Overall solid song

-The slow piano that kinda hangs back the entire time is great

-I love the way he sings the line “But suddenly inside the dark, she sees the magic of the sparks...”

Sparks

-Old-school rock n roll song

-One of my favs off the album, its just so, idk..classic sounding?

-”Tell me when...Ḁ̷̯͖͉̽̎̔͋̀̽͗͐͂̊̌̇̕A̸̢̳̪͉͓̼̟͑Å̷̛̛̜̈́̆̀̆͂͋̊͐͗̔͑̇Ḩ̸͋̿̓̆͋͛͌͐͑͆̕̕Ḣ̷̨̙̺̦͚͓̠̀̿́͝H̴̗̮̎̽̀́̓̏̓̋̚H̶̼̘̩̱͖̻͎͒́Ḩ̶̢̧͓̲̼͇̼̱͓̱̞̖͕̀̽̾̒̚̕͠ͅ”

-It actually has “AHHH” in the CD booklet I kid you not

-Its a tad long ill admit but it rocks so hard you hardly notice

-The old school chugging guitar riff rocks

-”Leaving marks...SPARKS!”

-Just a classic song, nuff said

The Mountain

-eyyyy first Savatage cover- based n Prelude to Madness! From Hall of the Mountain King!

-The atmosphere is REAL

-The windy sound effect in the opening, the deep bells AH so good

-A familiar melody, and MAN they give it their best

-They speed up gradually over time, and it just gets to the point where its ridiculous how much is going on in the song

-These guys are so talented I swear

-The solo at 4:09 KICKS

Night Castle

-Jeff Scott Soto giving me life, once again

-Very different sounding song I believe, not many other TSO songs sound like it

“Am I risking my own life...my life..?

-OK also I SWEAR in the last 4th of this song, when the slow bit hits, the melody is EXTREMELY CLOSE to the opening to Mephistopheles, from Beethoven's Last Night. It may just be coincidence, but it sounds like an Easter egg to me. Or maybe I’m just crazy. AHA. 

-The falling synth piano bits at 1:55. Yes.

-Song gets creepy with the minor change at the end

-I LOVE the last few seconds its so peppy and pretty, like that piano is so gentle

The Safest Way Into Tomorrow

-And I’m crying already, thanks Paul.

-They used this song for the tribute to Paul O’Neill in the 2017 live show. And i get so sad every time I hear it now. Like a melancholy feel now.

“Morpheus is at your side, offering the wings to fly, and be there..”

-Thanks Morpheus

-This line hits me right in the feels every time:

“Be there, free from Earth to sail across this night, where stars are all eternal”

-The piano build at 3:15 mmmm

-BEEEE THEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEE THEEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEEERE

-BEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEEEEERE NOOOOOWWW

-”And tell me what you...see!”

-I cry

-Also may I note how I LOVE that every character that TSO makes looks like an 80′s rocker. Like look at my dude Morpheus. And Tran-Do. Never stop TSO, never stop.

(Morpheus^)

Mozart and Memories

-Second Savatage cover!

-Very eerie

-Fits with the “dream” thing going on in the story at this point

-The guitars are the best part at 0:42, that melody is so eerie and cool

-The pianos and strings at 0:24 hit me hard, VERY well recorded there

-It gets real fast at the end

-TSO and classical covers are such a good combo

Another Way You Can Die

-TSO got PG.

-Like look: 

“And the tracers probe on 'Till a close friend is gone And you find yourself embracing ground”

-and:

“I see a figure in my rifle sight Who does not know that he's there And as I hesitate to take his life The ground explodes My blood it flows My heart is racing Times escaping As I feel it slowly scraping by”

-like holy hell

-Like I love the song don’t get me wrong

-But lord Paul went all out here

-He was NOT holding back

-PAULS GOT A MESSAGE TO GET ACROSS AND LORDY HES GONNA DO IT ANY WAY HE CAN

-That end piano drop mY HEART HURTS

Toccata - Carpimus Noctem

-TSO has mastered Christmas, TIME FOR HALLOWEEN MUAHAHA

-Literally its such a good cover. They keep the classic classical intro, with synth and guitars of course, but then they go full metal with it.

-I love the weird guitar lick at 1:49, it really stands out

-Yet another guitar solo featured song and mmm its good

-Also, the DRUMS ARE AMAZING IN THIS ONE

The Lion’s Roar

-Third Savatage cover kind of

-The second half is from Temptation Revelation from Gutter Ballet

-As a trumpeter, I love this song, as it is TSOs only trumpet-featured song.

-The first half is a very military-esque (Fits with the story, eh?) trumpet solo on The Minstrel Boy. This song is very accurate as it is usually played at military events or funerals.

-Which makes me even sadder because of the context of thE STORY

-Nice little interlude song

Dreams We Conceive

-EMOTIONS.

-The opening organ, it its me right in the HEART.

-You can just HEAR the sorrow in his voice in this song.

-The way he sings “Where the dreams die...as the blood dries...”

-Too relatable my soul can’t take it.

-His little voice quiver on the word “do” in the line ‘WHat else is the night to do..”

“As you stand all Alone at your station What if God doesn't Know where you are As you send out your Prayers for salvation But afraid that They don't go that far

So you wait all Alone in your darkness There's a train that drives on Through the night And if everyone's On it except us Would it return for That single life

In a city After midnight Neath the halo Of a street light”

-Its just so LONELY SOUNDING this man needs a hug

Mother and Son

-I used to skip this track before I understood it in context to the story.

-Then I felt emotions

-You can find the translation HERE.

-Imagine you past self looking at you and saying “How did I become you?” TO YOUR FACE

-savage

There Was A Life

-ENTER ROB EVAN

-This song man,,,the emotions are REAL

-The way he sings the word “life” in the opening line

“Can someone tell me Can someone say when The writer of this story Will just tell us how it all will end?”

-I relate too much to that

-Paul asking the real questions of life: “ Is there forgiveness for hesitation?”

-The HURT in his voice when he sings “DEAR GOD” at 3:14

-Robbbb why you gotta kill me like this

-The piano is superb at 4:22

-Captures the vibe perfectly

“Are you scared of your life? Are you scared of your death? Though that day will arrive Well it hasn't come yet...”

-Calling me out like that huh

-His “ALIIIIIIIIIVE” at 8:37 oh my LORD

-I’m feeling ALL the emotions

Moonlight and Madness

-OK. So I can’t think of which piano player it was, I’m thinking either Kinkel or Weiland, I could be wrong...BUT. Paul said in an interview once that the songs piano was recorded in one take. ONE TAKE THAT INTRO. He just FLEW INTO IT PERFECTLY.

-Its a wild song, based on the moonlight sonata. 

Time Floats On

-This song man..this song

-*Insert seagull meme here* “tiiiiime flllOAATS OOOOON!!!”

-It was one of the first TSO songs I ever heard

-The crazy contrasting piano bit in the middle AH its cool

-Such an eerie song really

-”Time floats on...as I write these letters that you'll never see...”   ;-;

-this song has so much heart

Epiphany

-OK HERE WE GO

-TSOs longest song

-TSOs most emotional song

-I’m crying again

-The SHEER HURT and SORROW in Rob’s voice when he sings “ I fear the night, I fear the dark, I need this light...that distant spark...”

-The fast bit at 3:52...I don’t think Rob breathed once during that recording.

-The spoken part was a bold choice, TSO has never done that before. I liked it a lot, its a great addition to the song. 

-The subtle harmonies in the “Somewhere”s...amazing.

-and MAN. The LYRICS.

“Did you ever walk up To the edge of a cliff Stare into the abyss As your mind wonders if You should take one more step Further into that night Well your mind says you won't But your heart says you might Would you fall through the dark Feel the wind in your hair Would you embrace the ground And end your life right there Or would god reach his hand And that moment you fly Or if he chanced to blink And then, that moment you die You die...”

-Like GEEZ that is heavy stuff

-This is the “contemplating death song”

“Be who you are What you were What they see From eternity's view Tell me which one is me?”

-Relatable. holy heck.

-He sounds like hes about to cry when he sings “Hold me close...”

-Like me too Rob. Me too.

-”This all is your....life..."

-You feel DRAINED by the end of it, like wow. The emotion, the power, my soUL. MY HEART.

Bach Lullaby

-A nice calming music box medley of the C major prelude.

-OK SO TSO SHOULD ACTUALLY MAKE LITTLE MUSIC BOXES THAT PLAY THIS HOLY HECK ID BUY 50

Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

-The OTHER most EMOTIONAL SONG on the album

-First half: pain, sorrow, regret, melancholy, slow piano...

-The EMOTION in the line “ Never quite there but it's never quite gone, you are the star that is wished upon...forever....”

-Second half: RAGE. ANGER. FIRE. AAAHHHHH.

-The main guitar riff is so heckin powerful

-Lyrics literally have this background in it: “...she raged against all those citizens of apathy and willful ignorance who lived behind the sacrifices of others.”

-The high piano swapped out for low guitar and bass melodies, a heavy mood, and pounding drums

-”...You cling to that card, Father, Son & Holy Ghost”

-You FEEL THE RAGE

-It has the most metal lyrics:

“And Christ and Confucius Are all their words useless We quote them in fractions But not in our actions”

-Like WOW

Remnants of a Lullaby

-A simple, but pretty song

-Very calming, and a nice breather from the song before

-The feeling in “ What to keep, what to save...”

”Wished on coins Childhood wings Carousels Still turning Waiting there patiently Remnants of a lullaby...”

-IM A KID AGAIN

The Safest Way Into Tomorrow (Reprise)

-dangittt I’m crying AGAIN

-album comes full circle here in the most emotional way possible

-especially when you consider the context of the story at this point aahhHHH

-Soto owns my soul

Embers

-OK, just..I love this song. Simple as that.

-This is pure atmosphere.

-Listen to it. Bonfire. Embers soaring to the stars above. Fireflies all around. Friends sitting with you at the camp fire. Acoustic guitar playing. A perfect summers night.

-Just...perfection.

Child of the Night

-Eyyyyy the aria again. It grows on yah.

-Very relaxing.

-Just brings that calming night vibe to life.

-Makes yah feel like a kid again.

Believe

-AAAAND the TSO song everyone knows for one reason or another. 

-Also one of the more emotional ones on the album.

-A cover of the Savatage song off Streets

-I love this version, (No offense Jon), like idk why exactly...it just feels more..personal? Idk, maybe its just because of the sheer emotional journey we just went on lol.

-It builds spectacularly, and the emotion is all in in this one. 10/10 great cover.

Nutrocker

-YAYY JUST HAD AN EMOTIONAL AND HEARTBREAKING JOURNEY, TIME FOR HAPPY FUN CHRISTMAS EMMERSON LAKE AND PALMER NUTCRACKER SONG YAYY

-Heh I kid I kid

-It features Greg Lake on bass!

-This song ROCKS man it ROCKS

-TSO does SO WELL WITH THIS

-The fast piano, the amazingly melodic guitar melody, the rock bits with a jazz break sandwiched in between AH.

Carmina Burana

-This is also one of my favs off the album.

-I believe this is also the song that got some conservative folks mad at TSO for being “satanists” by playing this. It was the latin I think. 

-Doesn’t matter, this song is epic. Very bombastic.

-It builds so well, and the repeated guitar and bass riffs make it feel so pounding I love it.

Tracers

-Ok so this song and I have history.

-I originally didn’t like this song (woah, right?)

-It just didn’t click. Buuuuut, TSO did it live in 2018, and BOI that changed everything. I loved it after that. Its top 25 TSO songs for me now. 

-IDK what they did or how they did it, but after the live show, I loved it. Past me was wrong. This song ROCKS.

-The pounding opening is iconic

-The soaring guitars

-The weird interval medley at 0:49 is so cool

-The main melody KICKS at 1:00

-My fav bit is the surreal acoustic bit at 2:06

-Its SO GOOD

-The repeated 5 notes at like 1:34 are so driving

-The descending bit at 2:55!!!

-and the BUILD UP TO THE VOCAL PART AT 3:32 OH MAN POETIC CINEMA

-------

And there you have it!!! Night Castle! To me, its the most emotional album of the lot. And the most atmospheric. Its long, but its a wild ride the entire time. The story is sad but inspiring, the music is legendary, the art is beautiful, so all around, this, to me, may be their best album in terms of general scoring. What do you think?

Thanks for reading ya’ll! You rock!

[worseandworser]

What doesn’t kill you

Chapter 1

This is a weird mix of ABO, chimera!Ed, and the werewolf!Ed, I guess.

Ship: RoyEd

Summary: “You were on a mission,” Ed turns to Alphonse, who carries on with the explanation, “There was this alchemist messing with chimeras, Brigadier general Mustang sent you there to check, and apparently you got caught up in a transmutation.”

Oh. That would explain why Edward can’t remember the basement.

Rating: Mature (chances of turning n/s/f/w)

Warnings/tags: AU, Post fmab, Pining, Scenting, Taller!Ed jhagdcfjh

read on ao3

When the day ahead is not that promising and the bed seems to be the only one who truly understands you, waking up is quite a bother. The sensorial deprivation turns into a safe space, in which you have no obligations other than to carry on shifting between the cadence of dreams. Will you remember them? All those fragments conjured to keep your brain working even when the rest of you doesn’t?

No. That’s the first thing on Edward’s mind when his eyes snap open.

He doesn’t need to look around to know where he is — the roof is white and his clothes are not wool; where the fuck is his underwear? — because the room reeks. Of antiseptic and bleach and whatever other cleaning chemicals and… blood? It sure smells like it. And it’s a weird combo attacking Edward’s nostrils, so strong that it makes him gag.

“Brother?”

Edward blinks, trying to get his vision to work properly, and inhales deeply.

And there it is, a significant change. The hospital’s scent becomes background, almost completely overcome by another. This is one is much more pleasing, however, and Ed takes it in gladly. Orange juice, he muses; not oranges but specifically the juice and in some part of his brain there’s the question if it makes a difference. Apparently, it does.

Its calming effect is instantaneous, reducing the uneasy feeling of being in a hospital to mild annoyance. Edward raises his head looking for the source, only to find Alphonse slowly approaching the bed.

“Hey, Al.”

His voice is hoarse, a bit weak; Alphonse smiles relieved.

“How are you feeling?”

The scent is stronger now, and it fills Edward’s chest with something… comfortable. Like a favorite song or that book he’s read so many times he decorated several excerpts.

“Kinda nauseous, but fine, I guess.”

“Nothing hurts?”

“Nah, I’m alright.”

The younger Elric leans in, pressing his palm against Ed’s forehead as if checking his temperature. His brows are lightly furrowed, but Edward is still too sleepy to curse himself for making his brother worry.

“I’m going to call the doctor, just stay here, okay?”

Ed hums in response and relaxes against the cushions. The scent is so… nice. Comforting, like a hug, and it almost makes him forget that he should be antsy due to his current location.

The door clicks close and he is wrenched to wakefulness. Because suddenly it’s not there anymore.

Correction: it is — but it’s like a shadow, a faint reminiscent of what was once enveloping. Edward’s nose is filled with the disgusting hospital odor, and this is the moment he realizes it is abnormally intense. He has never been to a hospital this stinky, who the fuck brought him here? Stuck between anger and anxiety, Edward scrambles to a sitting position.

“Alphonse!”

His brother’s face pops up through a slight opening at the door, “Yes?”

Orange juice. Edward squints his eyes, and motions for the other to come closer. And Alphonse does, with the questions he doesn’t ask written all over his face. As soon he is within reach, Edward hauls him down by the lapels and breathes. Deeply, only a few inches away from Alphonse’s cheek.

“Brother?”

Edward lets go of him but maintain the closure. Sniffing and sniffing like a dog trying to understand…

“Are you wearing some kind of perfume?”

“I… don’t think so?”

“Did you drink orange juice today?”

“Not that I remember,” Alphonse arches his brows, “Why…?”

Another unusual scent reaches his nostrils, and Edward’s head immediately snaps to its direction. A woman enters the room, checking what looks like a notepad.

“Edward Elric, right?,” she leaves the papers on a desk and pulls a stethoscope from around her neck, “I’m Dr. Becker, I’m just here to ch—”

“Don’t touch me!”

At Ed’s aggressive tone, she jumps back two full steps.

Dr. Becker seems like a good person. She’s young, probably around her late twenties or early thirties, and has a focused expression that surely should transmit security to her patients. Brown eyes and curly hair, the latter tied on a tight bun on top of her head, the white hospital clothes contrasting with her dark skin. She just stands there and slowly raises her hands, as if to show she’s not here to inflict harm.

Except that Edward’s whole body scream that she is.

The scent is… threatening. There’s no other word for it. It’s like coconut but with a salty feel to it, like the smell of the Cretan sea. Those things are not nasty — actually, Ed likes both — but their combination on this specific person in this specific place makes Edward cringe. His muscles are tense and he grips the linens with such strength his knuckles go white.

“Brother, what are you doing?!” Alphonse sound distressed, but Edward is too involved with glaring at the woman in front of him to care.

Dr. Becker intervenes in a low voice:

“It’s okay, he’s still in shock.”

The fear subsides, substituted by curiosity, “In shock?! Why would I be in shock?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not really.”

“You were on a mission,” Ed turns to Alphonse, who carries on with the explanation, “There was this alchemist messing with chimeras, Brigadier general Mustang sent you there to check, and apparently you—”

Edward winces. Yes, he remembers it now. All of the guy’s experiments had been with animals and — even if the morality of it is questionable — that is completely legal by Amestrian laws. However, he was a major freak and Edward recalls the man squirming when Ed asked to see the basement.

“—got caught up in a transmutation.”

Oh. That would explains why Edward can’t remember the basement.

He’s aware that his lack of reaction is not very helpful to prove that he’s not in shock but, well. Alchemical disasters have been a constant in Edward’s life ever since... always, perhaps. If Alphonse still has got a body and Ed’s limbs are all there then there’s not much to—

“Excuse my language, Doctor, but where the fuck is my leg?”

Becker looks at him with a puzzled expression, “You mean the automail? It was really yours? We had it detached since it was obviously not fit for you, I’m sorry.”

“The hell you mean with not fit, I have the best mechanic in the whole fu—”

“Brother!”

“What I meant, Mr. Elric,” her lips twitch in amusement, “Is that it was more than five centimeters too short for your stature.”

The world freezes. He watches her, eyes wide and jaw slack, searching for the joke — at any moment now she will snap, sike!, and start laughing maniacally. Except that she doesn’t; she holds his gaze with equal intensity.

“You’re messing with me.”

“She’s not,” intervenes Alphonse, “It probably happened because of transmutation, but I can’t be sure. The Brigadier general didn’t let me see the array.”

Edward stares at his lonely flesh leg in disbelief. More than five centimeters. That’s significant, isn’t it? He’s taller than Alphonse now, and that is surely more than he ever thought of accomplishing.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t be that happy yet, Mr. Elric. We have no idea what was done to you or the side effects, so we need you to be very careful and to warn us if you feel any different.”

Side effects, uh.

“I can smell things.”

Alphonse snorts, “Nice.”

“No!” Ed hissed, “I can smell things in a deeper sense like… I don’t know, heightened olfaction or some shit like that.”

Becker takes a few steps closer to the bed. Her scent is tolerable now, mixing with the others and softening. Edward tenses up anyway.

“Well, that’s new,” she says, “I’ve got patients who came out of alchemy accidents with fewer senses, but you’re the first one that tells me you have more.”

Her tone is not even teasing, but some part of Edward takes this as a personal insult and he growls:

“Then I guess you’re not the best one for this job, hm?”

The doctor arches a brow, giving Ed an unsurprised look, “Please, keep your rudeness to yourself, I’m just doing my work.”

Edward’s mood turns to the foulest possible in a matter of seconds. He hates hospitals and everyone involved with them, it’s not even personal. And it’s not his fault if Becker stinks. He is about to tell her that, when he catches a whiff of someone else.

He looks around, but there are only two people besides him in the room; the obvious conclusion is that it comes from the outside. It must be a strong one because the door is closed and yet it still finds its way to Ed’s nostrils. Edward takes a long breath, trying to pinpoint the exact substance, but his brain seems to not be working properly.

It’s good, really good, delicious, even. It makes him dizzy and warm, and he closes his eyes to concentrate on that pleasant feeling. Alluring, that’s the word. Edward wants to know where it comes from, so he can sink into this person and—

Oh no.

“I see you are finally awake, Fullmetal.”

The instant Roy Mustang steps into the room, Edward covers his face with his hands. However, it’s too late; the scent is everywhere, overpowering the others to the point Ed can’t smell anything but that. He reacts with such intensity… He is burning all over, drunk in the man standing by the door.

He’s consumed by the need to touch. To walk to Mustang and press him against his body, until the two of them merge together. He squirms at the thought, feeling the ghost of Roy’s skin underneath his fingertips. He needs.

“Get out!,” he manages to growl.

Mustang blinks at him, confused, “What happened?”

Oh god, his voice.

Edward is dying. He wants to shove Roy against the closest wall and just… shit. There are so many things he wants, all at the same time, and Roy is the protagonist of each one of them. He keeps chanting nonono because there’s this small part of him that insists that he shouldn’t. That it’s wrong to force your commanding officer onto his knees and—

Alphonse is shouting something and so is Dr. Becker and the last thing Ed remembers is a needle on his arm.

[veryotl]

You missed your usual reacting to the highlight reel post... Are you going to be reacting to the album this time?

I MEAN HECK THE ALBUM CAME OUT LITERALLY A MONTH AGO AND THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY INBOX SINCE THEN AND I STILL HAVEN’T DONE MY ALBUM REACTION GHJKL; 

Anyway like... I have the day off and for once I’m not insanely busy or seriously sick so... HECK LET’S DO AN ALBUM REACTION FINALLY 

Track 1 - Good To Me

Actually, when I heard this track on the highlight medley, the first thing that stuck out to me was the “woah”s in the chorus,  but listening to the song, my actual favorite part is the pre-chorus. I’ve always loved Seungkwan’s prechoruses and DK’s bridges because they usually come right after the non-melodic rap part and just like, suddenly flow into this beautiful vocal section. Another thing I appreciate is that I don’t feel like Seventeen has ever done this concept as a full group. It’s got the attitude of a hiphop unit song and more or less the general fullness of a perf unit song, but somehow it blends super seamlessly into Seventeen’s general concept and each of the members fully live up to the potential. Normally here I’d say “I’m looking forward to seeing the dance” but I don’t actually have to look forward cause I waited so long to write this out, and just let me say that the dance is great. I love how the dance could’ve been a lot more simplistic but instead they chose to go all in on the choreo, but it’s still not cluttered in the end. It’s not my absolute favorite dance, but it’s definitely A Good Dance.

Track 2 - Home

Hoo boy do I have a lot to say about our title track this time. Stylistically, it reminds me of Without You, which I was actually pretty disappointed in. But Home absolutely doesn’t disappoint. It kind of mixes the emotion of Without You with the sincerity of Thanks and it works super well for the concept. Another thing I feel like they pulled well is the Imogen-Heap-style voice synth on the prechorus, and especially choosing Hoshi-The8-Dino for the first verse lead up. Hoshi and Dino both used voice synth in Still Lonely and a few of the perf unit tracks and it almost always works great for them, but this one especially. Originally, Imogen Heap used it for a lot of songs where there’s minimal backing track, most notably Hide-and-Seek which has No Instrumentals. Seventeen uses it to the same effect, with only a beat going and an occasional piano. It makes it sound so full but so empty at the same time and it’s absolutely perfect for the mood. Another note is that during a good amount of the song there’s this pulsing synth that comes and goes. It starts the song underneath the percussion and actually continues until the prechorus at varying levels of volume until it drops out suddenly (emphasizing the lack of melody in the voice synth prechorus!!) and it doesn’t show up again until the middle of the chorus where we hear a very filtered version, once more fading in and out behind the vocals. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, for the drop, it becomes clear (maybe on a different synth? I’m not sure) that isn’t pulsing and the most important melody line in the chorus drop. It’s this like... melodic thread that runs through the song. At first it sounds sort of like it’s out of place and not following the same beat as the song, but then as the song goes on it becomes more and more familiar. The absence of this synth also emphasizes important parts, like the lead up to the chorus and it gives the song this really longing feeling. I also want to note that a lot of people have said the song feels really short and almost unresolved, like you want to listen to it over and over because it never feels like the song ends, it just hangs. I agree and I love that. The last note echoes and pulses and fades but it just suddenly feels... really empty and I think that enhances the concept. I really love Home and the general vibe it has. Also! I wasn’t gonna mention this but I have to give a shout out for Seventeen still using Animal-crossing-esque melodies on synths in both Home and Good To Me. They did it previously on Monday to Saturday and it always amused me. Anyway.

Track 3 - Hug  

Your local Ballad Anti is here once again to say... I don’t really have a lot to say on Hug. The lyrics are super sweet, of course. I’m a little sad it never builds instrumental-wise, but it really is supposed to be this minimalistic ballad. I’m not really sure what else to comment on besides the lyrics, and there’s not even that many lyrics. It’s not Vocal Unit’s best ballad, but it’s definitely not horrible? It’s sweet and sad but it’s just not much I can talk about.

Track 4 - Chilli

Okay it’s about to get weird because y’all. I LOVE Chilli. I’ve only seen lukewarm comments about it so far, and that makes me sad, but I kind of get it. From the point of view of a hiphop unit stan it might feel like a weird style, and from the point of view of a total SVT stan it might seem silly. But here’s the thing - I have always thought of Lo-Fi Hip Hop as a winter genre. Something about the instrumentals and tones common in the Low-Fi genre just reminds me of a grey January morning where it’s freezing outside and you hunker down on your couch with a blanket and a cocoa and just keep yourself occupied, and when I first heard the teaser I was preparing myself to be sad when they let me down by not making the lyrics Winter-Centric but Y’ALL THEY DID THAT I finally have my gloomy winter low-fi jam and I’m just... I’m just so happy that someone took advantage of this association. It’s a little bit silly but I feel like Hip Hop Unit has always kind of had this playful vibe to them for some of their album tracks and I’m glad they don’t always take themselves so seriously that it restricts their style.

Track 5 - Shh

Okay here’s where I get critical again. I had a really hard time liking shh when I first heard it cause it starts with this really funky bassline way in the back of the mix and I was so looking forward to them bringing it up in the mix and making the chorus just like, all super funky basswork and then it just kind of disappeared and it never came back. It just made me super disappointed that the bass never became a super important part of the song,. At some point someone mentioned that it sounded like a Taemin song and I relistened to it and that helped me be able to separate it in my mind from the song I had hoped it would be and now it’s not so disappointing anymore. It’s definitely an interesting style for Performance Unit and I think they do it well. It’s not as Overwhelmingly Awesome as Swimming Fool or Lilili Yabbay in my mind, but I can solidly say now I do like the song. BUT NEXT TIME I BETTER HEAR SOME FUNKY BASS IF THEY’RE GONNA COMMIT TO A FUNKY SONG.

Track 6 - Getting Closer

Y’all know me. I’ve been here since day 1. Technically. like, day 3. But the point remains that I have seen many a “Dark Seventeen” concept teaser and rumor come and go with no fruit. And while it may not be my favorite song, this song ticks off a lot of boxes from the old “if Seventeen ever actually tries a dark concept here’s what it should sound like”. Sometimes I look back at where Dark Seventeen came from and get emo about how far we’ve come. On the actual song, though, not just the concept, there are a lot of things I like about it. For starters, beginning the song with Mingyu is a really good move. The “deo deo deo” fits his vocal tone as well as just being generally great, and then following it right up with Wonwoo is fantastic. Hoshi and Dino are always a great combo, and the first verse chorus leadup is a perfect example. Jun’s “boom boom boom boom” is my life, and Woozi’s first chorus line is everything to me. Jun and Joshua’s low, melodic start to the second verse adds a really good level of quiet intensity to the song and I love that, and then Woozi and The8′s higher tones parallel Hoshi and Dino’s leadup for the second chorus, and UGH I just love a lot about this song. And the bridge with the almost... guns cocking for the percussion while Seungkwan kills those vocals is also just, great. Some disappointing things are the song isn’t terribly melodic, the MV camera work isn’t great, and it doesn’t have the impact of a title track. Again, I don’t feel like this is my favorite Seventeen song, and it’s not even my favorite dark Seventeen Concept (shout out to Bring It) but it’s also something I’ve waited for a long time and I don’t feel Seventeen let me down. I love to see my boys try new things and explore all facets of themselves. I also love to see unexpected members doing great, like Dino and Jun and The8 killing the concept. In general, not at all a disappointment. 

So in conclusion, did I like the album? Yes. Did I put off making this post for an entire month just to have it turn out to basically say “good job”? Again, yes. But I feel like my boys really did a good job with this album and I’m kind of excited to see what comes next because after the last album, this album feels like a logical next step and a continuation of what they were going for, so I’m interested to see if it continues that way or if next album is something new and unexpected!