#it's like if angels are a metaphor for humans I would agree with you

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Thinking about Heaven and Hell and how Heaven has vastly more resources at its disposal. When Hell wants to spy on Aziraphale and Crowley they have to send an actual demon Upstairs with a physical camera and zombie henchmen to take one (1) picture. When Heaven does it they can effortlessly pull receipts on all of human history without leaving the C-suite.

And that’s by design, isn’t it? Because Heaven is not the good side, they’re the victors. They won the war. They kept the executive floors, literally and metaphorically, and Hell got kicked down to the crappy basement.

Hell is defined by scarce resources and the behaviors an environment of scarcity produces. It’s shitty and dark and crowded; everything is old and broken and frustrating to use. Scarcity engenders infighting, scrabbling for resources because there isn’t enough to go around, backstabbing and deal-cutting and shoving down anyone weaker than you to get a slightly better position. Taking out your anger over your shit conditions and what you lost on human souls and on other demons alike. Demons are crabs in a bucket, constantly pulling each other down. (And, like the crab metaphor, their situation is manufactured. Crabs do not naturally occur in buckets. Someone put them there.)

We see that Gabriel, separated from the memory of his power and privilege in Heaven, is not fundamentally an asshole. The assholery is instilled by the system he lives in. In the same way, we don’t really know what any of the demons would be like outside the system of Hell. Beelzebub experienced the most modest amount of friendly camaraderie and understanding and decided it was worth risking everything for. Crowley, who has spent the most time outside the environment of Hell of any of them, is not vicious and cruel toward humans the way we see many of the other demons being. And it’s not because he’s special; it’s because he’s been able to spend time in an environment where his compassion and kindness and admiration for humans can breathe a little when no one is watching.

I highly suspect that the structure of Heaven and Hell and their current relationship to Earth and humanity (and Aziraphale and Crowley) is not going to survive s3 intact. There is simply no way for Aziraphale and Crowley and Earth to be safe and free from metaphysical threats with the system the way it is now.

There are several ways I could see this resolving, but the most metaphorically rich and theologically bananapants option would be…something that permanently heals the rift between Heaven and Hell.

Not undoing the Fall so that it never happened. That can’t be done on a societal level any more than on an individual one. The war still happened; the damage was still done. But some kind of mutually agreed disarmament. A radical redistribution of ethereal resources. Taking down the metaphysical border wall. Unrestricted fraternization between demons and angels who are really more alike than they are different. Maybe abandoning the executive floors and the basement entirely, and meeting…somewhere in the middle.

[amuseoffyre]

This may be wishful thinking...but earlier in The Episode, we get Crowley explicitly comparing Heaven to a beehive, with himself as the hornet, safely escorted inside its well-guarded borders. Aziraphale refuses Metatron's offer several times, outright...until the Metatron bring Crowley into it, and only then does he agree. Crowley's existence on the line is clearly a game-changer. During the end credits, as the lift is going up, we see Aziraphale's carefully neutral expression shift into a smile. I wonder if he knew Crowley would refuse, which is why he doesn't seem as devastated as we'd expect, and his goal was just to get into Heaven, in an accepted, established position.

Is it too much to hope that Aziraphale may have something more on the mind, once he gets to Heaven, than being a god little worker bee?

My thought when it came to Crowley's comment there was that Aziraphale knows Heaven is like that too and part of his logic about getting Crowley into Heaven with him is that "once you're in there", they don't see you as an invader.

If we extend the bee metaphor further, Aziraphale has been convinced he's going into heaven as the person in charge. He believes he'll be able to make a difference in there. But you can't have two queen bees in a hive. One of them will always kill the other. They will not take a rival. This is between Aziraphale and the Metatron now.

My brain went to Pratchett's Lord and Ladies book as soon as the bee analogy came up as well because it's a good summation of Heaven. They're an entity working towards a single goal. They all work together, unquestioning, but the second there are two forces at loggerheads (two queens) it doesn't work. As Terry put it so succinctly "slash! Stab!" - you can't have two people trying to control/run it. One will destroy/get rid of the other and only the strongest will prevail.

And I think S3 is when Aziraphale realises exactly how strong he is. A lot of the time he's let the other angels squash him down, confine and constrain him with their rules and codes, but now, he has gone all-or-nothing to protect Crowley and humanity. Now, he won't hold back.

The Metatron believes he is predictable and I think that'll come back and bite him hard, because yes Aziraphale is predictable in that he will defend. But he was a soldier once, a fighter, and he will fight if needs be. As Crowley said to Nina, "he's unpredictable". This is the angel who told Heaven to stuff it and backflipped out of there to go and stop Armageddon 1.0. More recently, he was willing to put Heaven and Hell on a war footing to protect two humans. He didn't need to. He could have just removed himself from the situation, but he stayed to protect them as they stayed to help him.

Slash. Stab. The Metatron has no idea who he has invited back into his hive.

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 9!!

Beginning || Previous || Next

*****************

You pound your way to the nearest bar, where everyone had agreed to meet. The three of them are standing around, talking over glasses of wine. Your hands are in fists, your nails digging into your palms as you approach. They acknowledge you as you enter their field of vision, but you say nothing. Instead, you beeline for Aziraphale, put your arms around him, and hang on for dear life. Sometimes you just need to hug an angel.

There’s a pause where Anathema says something about your aura, and then Aziraphale hugs you back.

Dear Reader, I’m not sure if it ever happened in your life, but for this Puffin there came a time when it was made very clear that wanting to be held or wanting to lean on another person in public was unacceptable (and, in fact, embarrassing) once you reached a certain age. And yet, we as humans are social creatures. The need to be held is a very normal response, especially after something particularly upsetting happens (like having the sanctity of washroom privacy violated, for example). Perhaps you’re not the kind of person who, out of nowhere, feels the desire to be held, but perhaps you know someone who is. And so, I would like to impress upon you the incredible difference it makes, the immeasurable relief it brings, to know that you have someone with you who will hold you back without question or comment. Just hold you, and wait.

Aziraphale makes it clear he intends to do just that.

“Take your time, dear,” he says gently. And so you do.

After a moment, the clink of a glass next to you makes you look up. Someone has given you a glass of the same wine everyone else has. You pull away and take a sip, feeling much calmer and very grateful.

“Thanks,” You say.

“Anytime,” Aziraphale replies.

“What happened?” Anathema asks.

Thus, you recount how Metatron trapped you in the washroom until he had said his peace. By the time you finish, there are three very angry faces around you. You feel validated enough to take another, much larger, sip of the wine. Aziraphale is the first to speak.

“Well for starters, I invite you to stay in my bookshop however long you like. Pet indeed! You are a help, yes, but you are a guest, and certainly not disposable, whatever he says.”

“And,” Crowley adds, “From what you said, Aziraphale and I can get you home whenever you want anyway. Probably, I mean. No dUbIOus motives involved, at least.”

Anathema seems to be thinking. After another few seconds, she asks:

“Why did you take the coffee?”

You all look at her, surprised.

“Well I mean,” she continues, “If the Metatron wants to know, he probably has a reason. If you tell us, maybe we can figure it out for ourselves and find a way around it.”

“Or they could just not tell him,” Crowley suggests with snark. “Then it doesn’t matter.”

“I mean, it might,” Anathema counters, “We don’t know that it doesn’t.”

“I took it because of the Coffee Theory,” You say with a shrug. It’s not like it’s a big deal. “But I mean, I don’t know why that would matter to him.”

“Well,” Anathema says, “That might depend on what the Coffee Theory is.”

“Well, it’s the idea that the Metatron did something to that coffee he was going to give Aziraphale. To, like, make Aziraphale trust him, or listen to him or whatever, so that he would go back to Heaven.” You pause. “There’s also an interpretation of it where it was a metaphor like ‘take my offer or face death.’ But most people think about the first one, and that’s the one that was in my brain when I did it. There aren’t a lot of people who actually believe it. I mean, not anymore, anyway.”

“So you think the Metatron drugged Aziraphale’s coffee?” Anathema raises an eyebrow. “And you drank it, yes? So...did he?”

“No,” You reply, “It was exactly what it was supposed to be. An oat milk latte with almond syrup. And I didn’t think he actually messed with it. I just wasn’t willing to take the chance, that’s all.”

Crowley’s face scrunches. “And you think he might need to know that for some reason?” He looks pointedly at Anathema.

“He might,” She gives a thoughtful hum. “I’ll think about it. I might ask the Cards later.”

-----------

The wait for boarding didn’t feel so long after that. As you board, you notice how spacious First Class is. Aziraphale and Crowley sit in the seats ahead of you and Anathema, with Aziraphale in the window seat. You notice Crowley casually trying to stick his legs out into the aisle and wonder vaguely whether it’s because he needs the space, or to try and trip the flight attendants. Both? Probably both. Okay, definitely both, you note, as a stewardess almost falls face-first into the aisle. Aziraphale gently swats at Crowley in reprimand, but you can tell it’s half-hearted and wholly-fond.

Your only trouble comes when you need to use the washroom, but Anathema, ever clever and aura-observant, suggests to go with you so that you can knock if anything goes wrong. Thankfully, nothing does, and you both return to your seats.

“You know,” Anathema says, leaning forward, “I just overheard the strangest thing. It seems that all of the normal airline food on this plane has gone missing. All that they have to serve is the first-class food.”

“Wait,” You say, holding back a laugh, “So everyone on this flight gets to eat the fancy, chef-prepared, gourmet meals?”

Crowley doesn’t hold back his laugh. “Oh, the big bosses won’t like that!”

“You two wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you?” Anathema asks suspiciously. You notice she’s smiling while she says it.

“Psh!” Crowley waves away the thought. “Why would I? Doesn’t matter to me either way.”

“Honestly, Miss Device,” Aziraphale adds, “I have no idea why you immediately accuse us of something that seems so clearly to be a mere...clerical error.”

Ah-ha! Culprit found. Clerical error your arse.

“You know,” You sigh, “It really is no wonder why Crowley loves you so much.”

“Ngk,” says Crowley. Aziraphale responds with a pleased-sounding hum. You relax, and notice between the seats that Aziraphale places his hand on top of Crowley’s and leaves it there.

They like holding hands – your insides scream.

--------

When you disembark from the plane, you hear all the other passengers around you complimenting the flight attendants on the excellent food and promising to leave excellent reviews online. You keep your laughter as quiet as you can. Aziraphale’s little prank is going to cause the airline issues for YEARS. Crowley must be so proud.

The speed and ease with which you clear customs and baggage claim is probably because you’re traveling with two supernatural entities. In no time at all, you’re outside of the airport flagging down a cab. Crowley opens the door with enthusiasm and outright glee.

“After you, Angel,” he says, “You think 90 miles an hour in London is bad, I can’t wait for you to see this!”

Dear Reader, I don’t know if you have ever been to New York City, but I assure you that Crowley’s driving has nothing on the NYC cabbies. Aziraphale spends the entire drive trying to hold on to something and taking deep breaths as the cab violently jerks to a stop millimeters from the car in front. You suggest he close his eyes. He does. It doesn’t seem to help.

-------

The taxi lets you out in front of The Ritz. Because of course you’re staying at The Ritz. Aziraphale goes to check in while Crowley tells Anathema he needs the washroom, and mutters to you that he wants to empty all the soap dispensers. You try so hard to hold in your laughter that it comes out your nose anyway. The demon flashes you a cheeky grin before disappearing around the corner. Anathema looks at you.

“Probably been a while since he had a fresh audience,” You say to her. She chuckles.

“And you’re so obliging too. No doubt he’s having a great time with all this.”

“Hey, Anathema,” You begin uncertainly, “How...I mean...I’m just worried about...things. How are we going to find Jesus anyway? I just...I don’t really have anymore information to give. I don’t even know if he’s going to be a baby or an adult this time.”

“Hm...” Anathema thinks for a minute, “Well, I’m going to try and get some readings, see if I can get some kind of direction for us to go in. It’s a big country, but what I’m hoping is that it will sort of work like dowsing.”

“Dowsing? Like looking for water with sticks?”

“Sort of. In a nutshell, you pay attention to the vibrations in the Earth, and the closer you get, the stronger the vibrations become. It makes sense to think that Jesus would make pretty noticeable vibrations. That’s my working hypothesis anyway.”

You nod. That will do for now. Aziraphale and Crowley both return, with the demon wiping his hands on his trousers, and the four of you take the elevator to your room.

The Royal Suite.

“Are...you….serious??” Anathema asks. Honestly, you’re too stunned looking around the enormous suite with four bedrooms to say anything. It’s bigger than most houses. You take out your phone and start taking pictures.

“Well, if we’re going to stay at The Ritz,” Aziraphale says cheerfully, pronouncing the capital letters, “Best to do it Properly.”

“But this is ridiculous!”

Aziraphale isn’t paying attention anymore. He’s gone to tell Crowley not to draw mustaches on the expensive artwork.

“Unlimited resources,” You say to her, “Make for expensive taste.”

“No, kidding,” she sighs, “I’m glad you’re here. I’m gonna need some help with these two.”

Ha, You think to yourself, I knew it.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

^ If you want to see JUST how ridiculous the royal suite is.

[searchingforakeythatdoesntexist]

Day 9: "You too." – Good Omens

[TW: Angst, The Flood, and after]

(A tribute to the sad yet poignant 4th Chapter of “Anatomy 1.0.1”, a fanfiction written by Fyre/ @amuseoffyre.)

“I can’t,” Aziraphale cut across him, holding up his hands, trying to stop the words and the reminders and the bodies and the screams.

“Can’t?”

“Can’t,” he repeated. Can’t say anything about it. Can’t do anything about it. Can’t… understand it. Can’t… can’t anything. He took a shuddering breath, shaking his head. It was… a lot. Too much. To stand by, to watch, to listen, to do nothing.

All at once, there were hands in his hair, carding through it, over and over.

“Hey, stay with me, angel.” Crawly was in front of him, so close, wriggling closer, almost in Aziraphale’s lap. (…) At once, damp skin pressed to his, and Crawly wrapped himself utterly around Aziraphale as if trying to press his heat through every point of contact into Aziraphale’s cold, shivering body. His hands ran in widening circles at the points where wings would emerge, palms rough and warm and gentle.

There was something comforting in the weight of his body, the warmth, the tangible solidity of it.

“It’s a bastard of a thing,” Crawly said softly, close to his ear, the warmth of his breath sending a ripple down Aziraphale’s spine. (…) “They’ll pick themselves up, dust themselves off, get back on with things.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale agreed in a whisper. There was no reason for his eyes to be wet or for his body to feel utterly weighed down with exhausted grief for people he didn’t even know. Not really. Names, yes. A little of their lives, yes. But could he ever know people like that? Mortals lives were so short, a blink and they were gone.

Crawly leaned back a little way, searching his face. “You too,” he said.

Excerpts from "Anatomy 1.0.1", chapter 4, by Fyre aka @amuseoffyre.

[Previous] [Next Day] [First Day] - Don't forget to 💕/ reblog ;-)

Personal challenge: a simple sketch each day

Goal: forcing me to keep things simple - inking, shading, just a few sashes of colour

Improvement pursued: to get the movement, the emotion, finding how to add depth, learning how to leave things barely finished

Max time allowed: 2 hours instead of 8-20 on my previous projects 3h30, because I had to. It's one of my favorites fanfictions ever, and for so many reasons.

Today's theme chosen by me:

There's a relatively classic headcanon in the fandom where Aziraphale and Crowley are present for the 40 days of the Flood. If Crowley then does everything in his power to save as many humans as he can, Aziraphale has to abide by his mission to protect Noah and the Ark – thus, not seeking to save anyone. He can only watch, hear and feel without being able to act in any way while countless people die around him, some quickly, others after several never-ending days, tossed about by the waves.

In a fanfiction written by Fyre, this headcanon is remarkably well used. Aziraphale going through such an event is atrocious, painful. But what comes after is almost worse. The shock of the rescuer who has remained helpless in the face of horror and death – a situation behind real PTSD among emergency doctors and first-aiders – is shown with an accuracy and a respect which left a deep mark on me. Aziraphale remains shocked and torn apart, while questionning his trust in Heaven for forcing him to do nothing but watch. What would have become of Aziraphale, devastated and in a middle of a metaphoric Falling, if Crowley hadn't been there to catch him during the Flood?

"Anatomy 1.0.1" is an E-rated fanfiction striving to describe the evolution and the feelings of Crowley and Aziraphale through the ages, as supernatural beings but first and foremost as a literal couple.  Those who have read and enjoyed this story – like me 😊 – will tell you that the terrible passage of the Flood is not representative of the story's spirit and I would agree, this fanfiction is mostly appreciated for its sensuality and eroticism. And yet, this scene from the 4th chapter brings, for the first time, the sincerity and the depth of the feelings between the two characters to the light. I find it to be one of the most touching and realistic scene I have ever read in this fandom.

[olderthannetfic]

Me, an aroace person: You know Miraculous Ladybug, which has used the actual words "ace" and "aro" about characters, has been accused of queerbaiting?

I admit that that confirmation about Max and Alix was on the showrunner's Twitter, and that Western children's animation is much more prone to cancellation at too big an onscreen hint that there's queer characters than a Netflix show being adapted from the book by one of the same people who wrote the book. You might have a fraction of a point about using the actual words onscreen here.

But you understand why I am not convinced that you'll think anything is aro and/or ace rep unless it's set in the present-day English-speaking featuring characters who would freely use those specific words about themselves.

And you understand that, while I would indeed like more media that meets that very narrow description, I would also like much more media with ace and/or aro rep where the characters wouldn't use those words about themselves. Either because outing themself is dangerous, or because they don't speak English so they don't have those words, or, you know, they're six thousand years older than those words are, and they have been a bit busy preventing the apocalypse to update their self-description.

--

I just want people to understand the sheer degree to which "They're like an old married couple!" and "It's a love story!" is said about absolutely every piece of buddy media ever, including by queerphobes who adore this media and have no problem with the type of love they see depicted.

GO does nothing outside of the buddy cop show mold, and that includes the heart eyes (which I agree are intense).

This is literally the same level as Starsky & Hutch in the 1970s.

That's why I'm skeptical about it as significant representation in a broader sense. (Obviously, it feels personally meaningful to lots of individual people.)

When I talk about "representation", I'm talking about something that is blatantly, objectively, and intentionally in the canon, not something that can be read in if fans choose to—Not even something the creators maybe sort of meant as one possible set of subtext among various.

It's the difference between having a black lead and making a show about an alien played by a white actor whose problems with oppression can be read as a metaphor for racism.

GO isn't a case of a character in a historical drama describing their attraction in historical terms or not having language to describe it but canon's writer(s) clearly knowing what kind of attraction the character experiences: this is a story about non-human characters that side-steps the whole question of sexuality for them and presents itself in a very standard buddy story way that a huge swath of the audience will likely read as cishet by default even as they pay lip service to angels and demons technically not having gender, sex drives, etc.

This type of love story is everywhere. It's every epic friendship stretching back through most media traditions into the time before the invention(s) of writing.

If one sees oneself in a piece of media nobody actually can invalidate that. It's a feeling. It's personal.

But I wouldn't give GO's creators any particular credit.

[shallowseeker]

okay so, yesterday I found your spn meta by chance and fell in love with them 'cause more than writing they're like images, like they really depict things and I just immediately understand what you mean instantly + I started to rewatch Steve Yockey's episodes 'cause I feel like I like his writing (lots of queer! lots of rom-com references! but it's all done so intellingently, I love it!) but ALSO sometimes it doesn't translate to me + I just saw you wrote about "Optimism"= I GOTTA ASK: what's your take on "Optimism"? I don't understand what the Zombie story and the Musca one should reveal about the characters. Visually, it looks like the Musca = Charlie, so Harper and the zombie are ??? I'm mad at myself 'cause I don't seem to get what the show is telling me so I'm hoping you can share what the show tells YOU and, vicariously, I can get it as well (lol). THANK YOU!

Hi! Hello!

Oh, really? That's so cool. I still have trouble thinking of myself as a "meta writer." I don't mean to be. I just like to ramble. But cool! It's probably mostly that we think alike and are sympatico in some key ways. :-) Always fun to find kindred spirits!

///

O P T I M I S M

I have so many thoughts on Optimism. It's one of my fave episodes! I actually did a re-watch-slash-convo with some friends on Discord and just transcribed the very, very, very LOOONG bulk of it today!

I haven't written much on the Musca. After spending a lot of time of @scoobydoodean's blog, I've just about decided the Musca plot is actually a Sam's emotions-through line more than it is a true dark mirror. Even AU Charlie is cheeky about it:

AU CHARLIE (annoyed at Sam, about the Musca): Your nifty metaphor has holes.

Basically, Charlie is saying that mirrors aren't one-to-one, and that trying to force-fit them into being one-to-one can be super annoying sometimes.

//

CHARLIE - Every two hundred years there is "bad egg". When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using peoples bodies to "nest". Binding them together with a viscous goo. And when the goo fits...

//

The Musca/fly is at face-value:

A) A bodysnatcher plot: In that regard, it could be like all angels, demons, or anyone inhabiting a body. (Cas, Lucifer, Michael, Crowley, etc.) Ergo, it's a dark, uncharitable Cas mirror the way Dave Mathers outlaw wraith was in Tombstone. It could be saying that Cas "failed" among "his own people" and cruelly took up space in a human body. But that would be grossly oversimplifying the whole situation, saying that Cas "should have stayed with his people," which ofc doesn't work.

It, as Charlie says, "has a lot of holes." @ilarual has written a lot about the totalitarian structure of Heaven. And Sam himself wants Cas around. As far as metaphors go, it's a dud for Cas.

B) It's a failure to thrive plot: Because the Musca "failed" in The Real World with its Own People, perhaps failed to live up to The prescriptive Dream of Success (TM), now it's wreaking havoc on others.

Sam himself "failed out" of Harvard. He "choked." Kevin Train and Patience Turner are also Failed Gifted Students. Losers who didn't live up to their potential. This could even apply to Chuck, binding together his characters because he's a Loser with a capital L.

///

ANYWAY, I feel like the Music plot is a "red herring" for a few reasons.

One: The main Harper plot is about breaking narratives, about not relying so much on books. And then Charlie says this:

CHARLIE: Goo. So, yeah. I'd say this is the right place. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what we are dealing with. Thus, books.

Aside: Later Cas says sarcastically in Ouroboros that Sam and Rowena, "Have many, many books."

So, there's this niggling indictment of trying to find too much truth in books...

///

Two: Sam has a tendency to see something and, like, imprint on it. He tends to fall into "It's just like me!" instead of speaking frankly about the present situations and emotions.

*In American Nightmare, he sees Madga Peterson, an abused child* -> "She's just like me!"

*In Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell, he sees someone lying about something completely unrelated to his current situation* ->"Omg, they're lying to them, like I'm lying to Dean! It's just like me!"

*In Lost & Found, he meets Jack Kline, who is Lucifer's son "OMG, he's just like me!" -> *spoiler alert* Jack is not in fact much like Sam at all. -> Sidenote: instead of speaking frankly about how Dean is grieving, how Lucifer killed Cas and likely killed Mary, he uses complex euphemisms with Jack, ones that actually obscure the reality of the situation! This winds up annoying Jack and making him pull away from Sam.

///

IMHO...Sam isn't...naturally all that great with emotions.

He tries really, really hard, and he loves patterns, but he's always seeming to force-fit situations and scenarios into neat little boxes so he can passively-aggressively use it to indirectly communicate something he feels about himself.

He has a very cognitive empathy style. Bless him.

///

So what's REALLY going on here?

Well. In this episode, he wants Charlie to stay. He wants Charlie to stay and fill a void the other Charlie left behind. He wants Charlie to stay really, really badly. And he beats around the bush about it.

At first, he sidesteps his own emotions by passive-aggressively implying that it's Dean that in fact needs her.

CHARLIE: He'll be fine. Your brother, I mean. He's got other friends, right? SAM: Plenty. Uhm, he used to have a pretty damn good wingman. CHARLIE: So call that guy to check on him. SAM: That guy was you. CHARLIE: No, it wasn't. SAM: Right, I, uh, sorry. I didn't mean that.

And then by trying to make the case fit her.

He's very indirect and weird about it. Because he's Sam. (It's a contrast to the effortless, awkward-but-honest communication style we see from characters like Jack and Dean in this very episode.)

SAM: Charlie, you can't just quit and go live on a mountain somewhere. People need people. CHARLIE: Why? Cause they're the luckiest people in the world? SAM: Look, come on. We just do. We're social animals. CHARLIE: Emphasis on animals. SAM: Yeah, but you're also a hunter. The things that we've seen, it's not so easy to just walk away from it all. Believe me, I've tried. Our Charlie tried. CHARLIE: Yeah, well again, she ain't me. It's my life, Sam. Not hers. And not yours.

Ah, yes. Instead of saying, “I want you here,” it’s, “people need people.”

And Hell, sometimes indirect communication works! Like how Dean and Cas use Felix the snake to indirectly communicate with Jack in Peace of Mind!

But the difference with Sam is...he's not using this indirect communication style to find out how Charlie feels (the way Dean and Cas use the snake to suss out how Jack feels).

No, he's using the whole thing to try to tell Charlie what he thinks is best for her! To tell her things, not find out things.

Eventually, he breaks and says what he actually thinks, but only after AU Charlie is starting to lose her patience with him:

SAM (faux-sadly): Got to say, I do feel kind of bad for the Musca. I mean, he could have been happy if he'd stayed with his people. Didn't have to go off on his own just because... CHARLIE (exasperated): Okay, I get it. I am just like the bug and I shouldn't go out on my own.

OMG, Sammy! It's okay if we want to hit Sam sometimes, right? I too wanted to hit him after he said this to Charlie.

CHALIE: But your nifty metaphor has holes. I wasn't looking for love. I found it and I lost it. And I didn't kill people and literally nest in their body parts so...(Scene cuts to other Musca removing the body of the dead one) SAM: Okay, yeah I know, I know, How about this? Don't leave. 

(Aside// I think this is a cheeky nod to the fact that Cas and Dean weren't looking for love either. In fact, they tried (and keep trying) really, really hard not to love each other. Their real life was faaaar more complicated than some simple "bodysnatcher plot.")

But thank God--Sam finally says outright what he needed to say to Charlie: Don't leave.

Now, it probably would've been better if he's gone a step further: "I don't want you to leave," but for Sam, this is pretty good progress.

SAM: Hear me out. Sure some people can do bad things when they're desperate or scared. But the guy we just saved, he has a wife and children. I'm not saying that all people are good people or even that most people are but if we help people then maybe they'll help people and all that. And that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death. It's worth it. CHARLIE: Just to be super clear, I am not like the fly monster. (Sam chuckles) But, I'll think about staying.

So I think OVERALL the Musca plot is really about highlighting Sam's difficult communication style, and I think it's intentionally being cheeky about it how it's using a "really "dumb metaphor" with gaping holes!

It's about how Sam tries to force-fit the case of the week into saying what he wants it to say...instead of just saying it.

///

I think Sam has a little bit of a "mental main character syndrome." He sees a scenario and moves directly into cognitive empathy, reading the situation and thinking:

How can I apply this to myself? Or make it a stand-in for either something I want to believe about myself or a stand-in for something I want to say indirectly?

Sometimes you'll see ppl insist that Sam is the "MC" because every storyline tells you "something about Sam." But I'm more in the camp that it's Sam's inherent cognitive style of empathy at work, desperately reworking anything and everything to make it apply to himself.

Whereas Cas and Dean (and Jack) have a truer emotional style of empathy, connecting with people for who they actually are, as they are.

That's not to say that both styles can't be manipulative when we want them to be. But Sam really struggles with his style in a way I feel like Dean and Cas do not. Dean and Cas perhaps don't even realize what effective communicators they actually are!

///

My other thoughts on Optimism:

[ivory--raven]

angelfish femslash feb day 13 - goddess. Some thinly veiled (not at all veiled) metaphor.

Michael is wearing stays.

Dagon knows immediately. The line of her front is too sharp - she could do that naturally, choose to have her body do that, but she never does, and she’s all the more beautiful for it. 

She wants to look at her in them, see her, undress her layer by layer like she’s a work of art because she is, they don’t know, these humans, what they have in front of them, they don’t see it. They don’t deserve Michael. She also wants to rip those stays off her, tear right through the boning, destroy them, they are far too mortal to contain her glory, the house is, the world is, Heaven is - and by Satan Dagon is, though she tries. Michael is always spilling out of her.

She can imagine her carved from marble, is sure she is somewhere. The real Michael, flesh and blood, celestial, is too beautiful to define. Too lovely to capture in stone or with paint or words.

Michael smirks, like she knows something, like she’s planning something, and she so often is. Dagon knows her. There’s something edgy about it, too, something jagged, rocks under a cliff face and a body bashed and battered against them, ground down. “We had a narrow escape some years ago, Gabriel tells me,” says Michael.

She says this for a reason. She says everything for a reason.

“Oh?” says Dagon, needing to know more.

“You know our man Aziraphale?”

Dagon does, in fact, know Aziraphale, though not personally. “Reads a lot of books. Likes food. Watches sad plays.” Crowley is in love with him. He hasn’t said so, but he’s said everything but that. Dagon knows the sentiment.

“Stationed in London,” says Michael. “He’s been on Earth since it started.”

“Garden of Eden,” agrees Dagon, remembering something to the effect being said.

“Gabriel thought I might replace him.”

“Replace… Aziraphale?” Dagon can’t be hearing right. Michael really ought to be replacing Gabriel, not Aziraphale. Not Crowley’s lover.

“That was his grand idea.”

Dagon would hate that. (Jeanne would hate it too.) “And you wouldn’t be able to…”

“I wouldn’t be able to come here anymore, no. I’d be in London.”

“Jeanne might never forgive you,” says Dagon.

“He changed his mind,” says Michael, and Dagon knows Michael would never let that happen, at least she hopes not, but it’s still such a relief to hear it, like cool spring water. “Aziraphale is staying.”

Crowley will like that, thinks Dagon. He seems to be always where Aziraphale is. But he does his job well and does his paperwork properly and if he loves an angel it’s not the end of the world. When the end of the world really comes, he’ll just have to get over it, like she will.

How could she ever get over Michael? She can’t. She won’t. She’ll put her feelings aside for one battle and accept Michael’s surrender when Heaven loses and then, once the conflict is resolved and the Antichrist rules what remains of the world, when everything falls into place, when the gates of Heaven are torn open for demons to reenter, then she will have her and hold her and keep her and there will be no reason she can’t.

“You’re here,” Dagon says.

“With you,” Michael adds. And she is. Dagon has her now, and she is like a goddess, awe-inspiring and wonderful and beautiful. And like a goddess, Dagon can’t keep her forever. She has to trust Michael to keep coming, again and again, back to the house, back to her, back to Jeanne. Dagon does trust her. Even trusts her to find her if something goes wrong, if she can’t reach her. They’ll find each other, like barbs of the same feather knitting themselves together, like the broken pieces of the stays on the floor springing together when Dagon snaps her fingers.

[coraniaid]

Most of the notes I made for myself while watching Passion were complaints or criticisms, but I do think it’s worth saying up front that I honestly love this episode.  For all its flaws I completely agree with the popular critical consensus on this one: I think it’s a genuinely great episode of television.  One of the best parts of the high school seasons and quite possibly the highest peak the show has managed to hit so far.

In a lot of ways it picks up where Innocence left off.  Both episodes lean heavily into the metaphorical reading of the newly soulless Angel as an older boyfriend who turned out to be a creep after Buffy slept with him (“Don’t tell me,” says Joyce early on.  “He's not the same guy you fell for.”).  Both episodes work very hard to show us that Angel is not redeemable – first with the Judge last season declaring him “clean” of humanity, now with Angel killing Jenny.  But Passion hits a little harder, I think, because there’s no counterpart to that rocket launcher scene.  The good guys don’t get to enjoy even a partial victory here.

Other thoughts:

I think this is a surprisingly good episode for Joyce, in a way we don’t typically really get until Season 3.  It hits the right balance between showing that Buffy and her mother struggle to communicate but that this doesn’t mean they don’t bother deeply care about each other.  Buffy’s concern for her mother is paramount throughout the first half of the episode (and Giles’ insistence that she can’t tell her mother about being a Slayer is more than slightly hypocritical, given that we’ve already been told that his parents always knew about him being a Watcher).  

Of course Joyce herself isn’t perfect – she doesn’t know the whole story, and yes Angel only tells her that he slept with Buffy because he knows Buffy well enough to anticipate Joyce’s reaction – but however bad The Talk goes it doesn’t feel like this really had as much of an impact as Angel would have been hoping for.  It doesn’t seem to have really damaged their relationship.  I believe Joyce when she says she loves Buffy “more than anything in the world” even if (she thinks) Buffy’s trying to shut her out.  And I think this particular conversation, and the way Buffy can only say “you’re not” when her mother suggests she’s “grossing her out” is the sort of thing Season 5 is calling back to when, three years from now, Buffy will tell Giles that “my mom is gone … and I loved her more than anything … and I don’t know if she knew.”

(I think the shot of Joyce hugging Willow when they get the call from Giles is a nice touch too.  That whole scene from Angel’s perspective is so good, isn’t it?  The whole framing device with his voiceover too.  It should probably be kind of cheesy, but it’s not.  Maybe it helps that I just think Angel is a really fun villain.)

Speaking of that scene: everything between Willow and Jenny is so sad knowing what’s coming up later.  I remember being slightly surprised, back in Season 1, that Willow didn’t seem to immediately warm to Jenny despite their mutual interest in computers (“how come she’s in the club?” she protested in Prophecy Girl).  But I think the show has done just enough by the halfway point of this episode to make it seem credible that of all the Scoobies Willow in particular would be hardest hit by her death.  (The juxtaposition of Willow being excited and eager to take over Jenny’s teaching responsibilities at the start of the episode and then how somber she looks when she is taking over for her at the end is particularly good.)

It rankles slightly, in the way I’ve complained about before, that the script still reduces Jenny to “Giles’ girlfriend” at times and that one of the reactions to her death – by somebody who knew Jenny! – is “poor Giles”.  Nobody even thinks to suggest that Angel might have killed Jenny for some reason other than hurting her boyfriend.  Equally Giles seems unnecessarily dismissive of Buffy’s concern about the fact that Angel has been sneaking into her room at night at the start of the episode.  But the scene with Jenny’s boyfriend attacking Angel in the factory (after the rather complacent advice of “you mustn’t let Angel get to you.  No matter how provocative his behavior may become”) and then Buffy coming to save him, giving up the chance to kill Angel herself to pull him out of the fire, is so good I’m almost persuaded to overlook it.

And the mere fact of Jenny Calendar’s death itself – despite the weird retcon about her past and the fact the show insists she betrayed the Scooby Gang while showing us she didn’t, despite the fact they bury her under a name she never used in the show, despite the fact that after this season ends Jenny’s name will only be spoken on screen twice, despite the fact it establishes the precedent that will later be used for any number of increasingly questionable ‘shocking’ deaths in the Buffyverse – despite everything, it’s still utterly heartbreaking.

Jenny isn’t the first recurring character the show’s killed off, but she’s the first recurring character of any significance (with apologies to Jesse and Principal Flutie).  Or, I suppose, technically she’s just the first recurring character of any significance who dies and doesn’t get better.  The first recurring character who won’t be coming back.  The first recurring character that Buffy and her friends show any sign of missing.  And the first recurring character that the audience will care about losing.

I just think this episode could have been even better if the writers themselves cared about Jenny Calendar at all.

[st-just]

Opinions on the novel and novella categories excluding Elder Race?

Okay so, uh, 3 months late finally answering this (sorry - but I DID read Elder Race in the meantime!)

So, novels-

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine The central metaphor of how an empire can only understand something by consuming/assimilating it into itself was imo well-done, one of the better uses of a hive mind alien I've seen in a while. Mahit and (especially) Three Seagrass continue to be delightful. The whole palace drama plot in the City leaned a biiiiiit too close to 'the Empress is just and good! Sadly scheming ministers and self-interested officials have attempted to mislead her for their own ends' for my tastes, which absolutely made me start rooting for scheming vizer guy out of spite. Still kind of confused what happened to the Judiciary Minister who vanished 2/3 of the way into the first book without comment. Excellent read, would recommend

The Galaxy, and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers Absolutely my favorite thing Chambers has written, but that is a very low bar. There were a few pages of actual interpersonal conflict that wasn't just a silly misunderstanding! (Even if they had apologized and agreed to disagree by the end of the next chapter). In principle I approve of any sci fi with no human characters in major roles. Aeleon demography continues to give me a headache (how do you spend so much time on worldbuilding and just mess up the basic math?) - though honestly Pei's whole conflict over the societal expectation to have a kid would have had a bit more tension/drama to it in a setting where her species was legitimately endangered and at risk of extinction (the sheer angst potential!) Anyway, yeah, well-executed but Not For Me.

Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki I did, uh, not much like this book. In a 'spent a couple hours cathartically ranting about it on discord after finishing it' sort of way. The central romance didn't work, every character arc was perfectly predictable, the whole incessantly hammered home bit about the magic and wonder of home-cooked food just makes me want to gag, I can kind of see what Aoki was going for with the sci fi half of the worldbuilding but it just didn't work at all, and so on. Still not entirely sure what to make of the fact that if you did the 0.5 degree shift necessary to turn the finale into a Christian morality play the quirky alien family plays an identical structural role to where the angels would be. The cursed/demonic-violin repair lady was fun, though.

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark This was fun! Nothing hugely ground-breaking and extremely trope-ey, but in a good way? Like the process was clearly 'buddy cop story in into steampunk urban fantasy Cairo' more than anything that evolved naturally out of the characters or setting. But like, eh? The finale involved a giant robot controlled by enslaved ifrit and a mad sorceress trying to restore the British empire attacking the city, nuance and subtlety clearly weren't the goals here. The central mystery was barely a mystery, though. You could pick out the villain by the end of the first act like three or four different ways. Still, yeah, great time. Very pulpy.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir If you don't know that this is by the The Martian guy going in, it will be extremely clear by the time you're 50 pages in. It's a writing style with a real personality bleeding through - if you don't like it, the book will I'm sure be torture. But anyway, I'm a sucker for first contact stories and properly weird but still sympathetic and agentic aliens, and that's the beating heart of the story so I mean, of course I enjoyed it. The science also all seemed plausible/not-obvious-bullshit to me, and Weir did a really good job of getting tension and drama without ever making anyone a villain, with all the threats being faced being natural/environmental. Fun read, assuming very high tolerance for technobabble and also magic amnesia that you don't apply anywhere near the standards of the rest of the books' science to.

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan I mean the whole premise of 'mythic/low-fantasy retelling of the founding of the Ming dynasty but with lesbians' feels like what you'd get if you simmered down my reading consumption of the last year or two and poured out the reduction. So like, yeah, of course I liked it! Probably would have been my vote for winner, though not at all sad that Desolation got it instead. As a character type, I really, really love the whole 'arranges everything to work out perfectly through desperate, furious scheming, then absolutely never breaks character and insists it must be providence and they're but a simple monk/scholar/whatever" so Zhu's whole bit there was just catnip to me. The whole melodrama in the mongol court was great, too. And how can you not love a book that ends with the heroine murdering the messiah in cold blood?

novellas-

Across the Green Grass Fields by Seanan McGuire The only other thing I'd read by McGuire before this was Middlegame, which may have given me unrealistic expectations but, like, this was fine? Or, like, I get the sense that this is very much a YA/Middle-grade book, insofar as it really feels like the literary equivalent of a tv special you'd watch with your kid niece and nephew because hey, it's not painful for you or anything? Really funny that this exists entirely independently of the apparently-a-real-thing cartoon Centaurworld, though.

Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky This was fun classic sci fi. Like, really classic - I kind of thought 'fantasy setting that's secretly a post-apocalyptic sci fi setting where all the 'magic' and 'monsters' are just poorly understood hypertech' went of fashion with the millennium. Anyway I adore things that play with POV and have different people see the same events and process/interpret them radically differently, so the whole book was catnip that way, and it managed to authentically feel like just a small slice of a vaster, weirder universe, and both deuteragonists really work for me. Don't have a solid pick for my preferred winner but this is one of the two I'm torn between.

Fireheart Tiger by Aliette de Bodard First and so far only thing by de Bodard I've read, which I should probably fix given how big a name she is. Anyway, this was fun! Nothing too groundbreaking, but that is 100% down to my reading habits rather than, like, 'lesbian court drama in a fantasy analogue of an asian country under threat of colonization' is an over-filled niche, or anything (really the only surprising thing was that I hadn't read this already).

The Past Is Red by Catherynne M. Valente The other one I might have voted for. On the level of stories she's a bit hit and miss but on the sentence-to-sentence and paragraph-to-paragraph levels Valente is seriously one of my favorite writers working, and this was no exception. Just an absolute delight to read. Also, 'post-apocalyptic magical realism on the city-sized garbage heap floating in the ocean populated by a culture of survivors after the world drowned' is just a great premise. And my shriveled husk of a soul appreciates just committing to the character study and the ruin and the elegy without giving into the urge to make a grand redemptive quest of it all.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers I, uh, liked this significantly less than Galaxy and the Ground Within. Utopias are basically necessarily didactic but, like, you really don't have to lean all the way into literally having the heart of the story be conversations between the protagonist and a sacred and innocent alien whose always correct about everything. Also the whole 'we 100% could be immortal but we chose not to because, like, nature or something. Aren't we so amazing?' thing with the robots is bullshit. Which, combined with the entire aesthetic of the world just left be feeling peevish and asking questions which really weren't the point (Where are the mines? The foundries? You can't make solar panels or modern antibiotics in a basement workshop! And you sure as hell can't cobble together and repair fully mobile and sapient robots in a cave with a box of scraps.)

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow So it's not that this was bad, exactly. But, like, I feel like it should have come out sometime in the '90s? (Okay without the explicitly gay bits but that's a matter of a few sentences tbh). Like, the deadline for metafictional feminist retellings of classic fairtails being genuinely novel or subversive was sometime before Disney got in on the game, sorry. Also, like, I'm sure it's just down to me being a weird morbid kid, but the whole shocking revelation about how fucked up the original Sleeping Beauty myth is was, like, something I knew before I hit puberty? Only other thing of Harrow's I've read was the Ten Thousand Door's of January and I'm really, really disappointed comparing them, honestly. (Also, as a general rule I dislike anything where it's very clear whether you're supposed to like or trust a character from the scene they're introduced and this is never wrong)

In other categories L’Esprit de L’Escalier should obviously have one novelette, "Where Oaken Hearts Do Gather" short story, Terra Ignota series, and Monstress comic, based off the foolproof criteria of 'those are the ones I've read'

[nefertiti-fooling-fellow]

A Study of Good Omens and Taylor Swift Lyrics

AKA: These are the songs/lyrics from Taylor Swift songs that I connect to Good Omens (in honors of 1989 (Taylor’s Version))!!

1. YOU ARE IN LOVE (1989)

Hands down my favorite Taylor Swift song EVER.

Here are some lyrics that I think fits the Ineffable Spouses:

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

I mean…Aziphale and Crowley having to communicate through glances and touch because they can never really say they truly mean through the ages?

Time moved too fast

You play it back

Crowley literally STOPPING TIME because Aziraphale threatens to stop speaking to him!!! Simp behavior!!

You're my best friend

THEY. ARE. BEST. FRIENDS.

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words

To me, it makes sense that they wouldn’t really have a good grasp of individual love quite yet at the beginning. Angels like Aziraphale are obligated to love ALL of God’s creation, but that’s a very distant kind of love. Crowley, a demon, whose very job description details that pure love is something he cannot feel.

But as they spend more time around humans, they finally realize the quiet companionship they feel around each other is LOVE. They find love in each other, in the simple pleasures of the human world around them.

(Am I reading into this too much?? Who knows! I’m having fun, I hope you’re having fun, let’s continue)

2. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Reputation)

I loved you in secret

Self-explanatory.

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

I think this line relates to both of them, especially recalling the Job minisode in S2E2. They were both lonely, both struggling with their faith in their respective sides but found common ground and a sense of belonging with each other!!!

I loved you in spite of

Deep fears that the world would divide us

I think this is self-explanatory again but it just needed to be said, such a good lyric.

Yeah, we were dancing

And I had a bad feeling

But we were dancing

This lyric reminds me of their Arrangement. I see a lot of people on here describing the rituals that Aziraphale and Crowley form over the years as an intricate “dance” around one another and I wholeheartedly agree.

Even though they don’t really think of each other as “hereditary enemies” (case in point: “foul fiend! After you,” from Season 1, Aziraphale stopping mid-smiting in S2E2 when he recognizes Crowley, “I trust you,” in S2E4, the Arrangement, etc…) they still dance the same lines of arguing that they are on different sides and therefore inherently different because their hands were tied (metaphorically) by their respective loyalty to Heaven or Hell.

3. Wildest Dreams (1989)

This song feels to me like it’s from Aziraphale’s point of view, if we were to relate it to the Husbands.

Exhibit A:

I thought Heaven can't help me now

Nothing lasts forever

Yeah…sounds familiar?

He's so tall and handsome as hell

I just think that this is how Aziraphale would pine over Crowley in his mind, it’s very…Austen, he would write this in his diary with a glitter pen.

I said, "No one has to know what we do"

Did someone say the Arrangement? Unlikely alliance??? Perchance.

4. Peace (folklore)

If Wildest Dreams is Aziraphale’s pining moment, then Peace is Crowley’s.

All these people think love's for show

But I would die for you in secret

Angels in heaven has no concept of love, they believe Crowley wholeheartedly when he says “you have to wait a few days and see,” and even Crowley himself thinks that love is equivalent to sheltering under the rain and sharing one sweet, perfect kiss.

But that’s not why we, the watchers, recognize that Crowley loves Aziraphale, we see that when he walks through consecrated ground and saves Aziraphale’s book!! Crowley cares!! He would do anything to make sure Aziraphale’s safe!! And that’s love!!

The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me

THEY. ARE. FRIENDS.

5. Right Where You Left Me (evermore)

Season 2, Episode 6. Yeah.

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

Regarding the whole "you can't change things from the inside, it must all be dismantled" thing going around. (And ignoring, for a second, how Crowley never said the second part and just wants to run away, since I think that getting rid of Heaven and Hell in some capacity or the other is the way that the show is going so we should have this conversation.)

Noah fence, but the reason that "dismantle the police" is even a possibility for us is that 1) "blue lives" is a (tasteless) metaphor; cops are human beings, not part of their own race, at whichever level you'd like the concept to be working and 2) we have other institutions working at similar and higher levels. We have the state which could, in theory, carry out the dismantling, and psychologists, firemen, technology, etc, who can carry ensure people's safety better than cops. That's kinda the point: there is some necessary work being done by cops, at least in theory, in the ideal way that they should be working, so they don't just need to be destroyed, they need to be replaced.

There's no easy 1:1 translation for this with Heaven and Hell because they aren't just the coppers and the robbers, even if that's the role they play. It's the name of the spaces either one or two species (depending on how you want to look at it - two, or only one divided by their allergies?), distinct from humans, live, and (this is key) the collective designation for these species. So what does it mean to "dismantle" them?

First of all, how? How could Aziraphale and Crowley achieve this? The only possible higher authority they could appeal to, in the way we try to appeal to the state, is God and like. ??. Not only would it be unlikely, it would be contrary to the story and I'll get back to this. The only way they could do it would be by gaining authority over the other angels and demons or by reaching a consensus between all of them.

There's arguably no need for a replacement because they don't have a purpose other than the one they imagined for themselves, their point is not their roles, but their existence, which they've chosen to tie to roles, but that leads us to a bigger problem. As living beings, they have as much of a right to exist as any of us. Maybe, even, to exist on earth. A scenario where they all die or even become human would be akin to genocide.

The only other possible solution I can think of might be to lock them all up in their respective headquarters, spn style. But then, what happens to the Muriels? Those that work within their institutions mostly because they don't know better? A category which, as proven by Gabriel, could be shared even by the people at the top. (Something I believe people would have a resistance to: cult higher echelons may be just as brainwashed as the lower echelons, making them both victims and abusers.) Do they not deserve a chance to learn better? Everyone agrees that H&H are not just dangerous to humanity, but toxic among themselves. Do they not deserve a chance to step out and grow? How would that be achieved in this scenario? C&A controlling who can enter earth? I can see some practical problems with this. They're not omniscient, they can't know how honest people are or what the result of them being let out of H&H will be - Crowley won't want to let anyone out, Aziraphale will want to allow everyone.

I guess it's the best outcome we can expect out of this show. (Re: H&H, yes, A&C will end up together, that will be nice, this is not about that.)

I think, however, that it lacks a certain optimism that this show has characterized itself by, especially when you compare it to the book. Not only are the characters generally more lovable, the message in general is more... bright? For starters, look at the Them. In the book, it was a lot clearer that they were not foils, but mirrors to the Horsemen. The Pollution boy was known for leaving wrappers lying around, Pepper was the actual Head Torturer, there was no "I believe in peace, bitch". What I got from it was, "yes, we, the future generations, might bring about the end of the world, but it's important that it's up to us, not some higher power, because the world belongs to humans now, so move over". In the show, the scene has more of a "the children, however weird, are the future". C&A's break from H&H: in the book, it was a lot more... not ambiguous, because that would imply that they might not have actually left them, but, without those attempted executions, it felt a lot more unfinished. Sure, they slipped out that time, but other attempts to bring about Armageddon would happen and they'd have to be vigilant (cold war, anyone?). That's not even getting into how much less of a focus their relationship was, so they looked a lot more at loose ends. With the execution attempts in the show, we got not just some satisfying retribution/victory of C&A over H&H, and so a sense of closure, we also got a bit of security. It would've been, all in all, a happy ending. (Yes, there were many things that shippers would have to take as stated, but even then they ended up on their own side.)

Ok, I'm gonna be honest with you chief, the more I think about this, the more the whole "lock everyone up" thing starts to make sense to me, especially taking into account the Them v Horsemen scene I just described. Get rid of the angels and the demons, humanity can save or damn itself without any help. Like, I think I just changed my own mind by writing this up.

Still, what's the point of introducing Muriel or having Gabriel and Beelzebub abscond together if not to show that H&H aren't some irredeemable homogeneous monoliths? And how can you really justify not giving them a chance to change? So, even if I'm more and more convinced by the spn lock up arc by the minute, I'm sticking to my reforming H&H point as the most hopeful ending. And here's the thing. Aziraphale is probably going in with too much optimism, along with the misguided belief that he can change Heaven just because he's in charge. (Also, the misguided belief that he'll be really in charge.) However, I don't think his idea is completely wrong, or his method totally wrong.

How can we expect any proper restructuring of H&H, which, without any higher authority, would require some consensus from everyone, to happen from anywhere but the inside?

[dragon-stage-battle]

Ok I think I should finally give a brief synopsis about my AU instead of just making cryptic memes about it so here’s a summary of TBOI Purgatory AU (title still in the work)

Shortly after his death, Isaac is awoken in a strange new world filled with strange creatures and the new ability to use his tears as weapons (just how it is in the game). This world is called “Chaos”. Chaos was created by Eden, an angel of God. God instructed Eden to create Chaos as a purgatory for Isaac so he can overcome his sins, traumas, and finally reconcile with his death in order to get to Heaven (similarly to Dantes Purgatorio). Just like the divine comedy, Isaac’s purgatory has 9 challenges Isaac must overcome.

1. Mom + Mom’s Heart

2. Isaac

3. ??? + Hush

4. Satan + The 7 Deadly Sin

5. Mother

6. Delirium + Boss Rush

7. The Ascent Home

8. Dogma

9. The Beast

Once Isaac overcomes these challenges, only then he can ascend to heaven (just like in the ending when you defeat the beast)

Where do the other characters like Judas, Magdalene, Bethany, ect. come in? Well they’re also created by Eden. They live in Chaos alongside Isaac as he completes his challenges.

After Isaac defeated Mom’s heart, Eden appears in front of Isaac and tells him that this world and everything in it was created for him. Eden then takes Isaac to this new place called the Cathedral. Awaits for Isaac is Magdalene, the first human created by Eden for Isaac. Magdalene greets Isaac’s as his mother and tells him that this is his new home and that many new friends will show up soon. She says that Isaac must be very tired and so she takes him to his new room and tucks him into bed. As Isaac and Magdalene drift off to sleep, Eden proceeds to creates many new personalities to accompany the world of Chaos (except Azazal but I’ll explain that later).

It’s an important thing to note that none of the characters (except for Eden, Edith, and Apollyon) knows that this world isn’t real and it’s just some fake world created by Eden. Not even Isaac knows that this world isn’t real, he does find out eventually though.This is important to note because this comes into play when talking about Judas. The B plot to Isaac’s journey.

Ok I’ll now give a brief synopsis about wtf Judas’s deal is.

Judas is one of the many humans created by Eden for Chaos and is one of Satan‘s most loyal devoters. He, as well as everyone else, lives his life as normal as it can be, trying to survive, making friends, etc. That was until he started to question the world he lives in. He started the question the truth about himself and the people around him, the world of Chaos and whether there is a world outside of this place. Questions like these boggled his mind, until he decided to ask Satan for the truth. Satan agreed and gave Judas an apple that contained the knowledge Judas desires. As Judas bites the apple, he suddenly learns about the horrific truth about Isaac’s life, Eden’s creation of Chaos and everyone in it, and how nothing in this world, including himself, is real. Judas was reasonably distraught over this information. This led him into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety, knowing that all the actions and memories he made will mean nothing at the end.

One main thing kept reoccurring in his mind though, and that was the images of the outside world. Judas became obsessed with the real world and finding a way to get there, so he asked Satan again, begging him that he would do anything in order to escape this place. Satan agreed and said that if Judas wanted freedom to the real world, he must kill Isaac, and/or bring Isaac to Satan (basically make it so Isaac cannot escape purgatory and ascend to heaven). Without hesitation, Judas agreed. It is now Judas’s goal to (metaphorically) break down the cathedral, bit by bit, in order to get to Isaac and escape Chaos.

Ok I think that’s sums up the main premise of it. There is, of course, A LOT of stuff I left out but I’ll explain all of that at a later time. Hope y’all liked it.

[tuiyla]

I honestly never got the xander hate. His bad moments was his insecure little boy moments shining through ( which made sense he was abused by his parents) compared to others crimes it was minimal. Same with them hating him during mutiny scene the guy was traumatised! He’s a normal human that Giles never bothered to train he’s not a soldier it was amazing he didn’t go insane tbh ( not downplaying others having trauma but xander was meant to be the most normal/ human one so realistically he could of gone of deep end and i think if he didn’t love the group he would of spiralled hard probably turn to alchol like his parents)

To be fair, I do think there are moments to dislike Xander for. 3x02 comes to mind, 2x22, and the general way in which he antagonized Angel purely because of Buffy's love for him and how entitled to Bufyf he acted for much of the early seasons. It's fine that he had a crush on her but Xander was SUCH a baby about it and his toxic masculinity reared its ugly head. The problem with writing realistic teen boys is that teen boys happen to be the worst, sometimes, as was Xander's attitude about Buffy some of the time. Like dude take a hint and get over it, you're not the first person in history to have an unrequited crush. Insecurity and his upbringing only works as an excuse up to a point, and I don't agree with trying to compare his actions to others' mistakes because it's not about that. Sure, there were literal demons on this show and even the good guys did messed up stuff but that shouldn't negate Xander's occasional jerkass behaviour. Especially because he represents human normality and should therefore be held to that standard, not mystical war crimes.

That said, I overall agree with you. Xander's had more redeeming moments than he did annoying or outright bad ones. To a point, I can understand where the hate against him comes from, I really can. He can be a frustrating character to try and root for and a lot of his stuff not only didn't age well but also wasn't even appropriate for an ostensibly feminist show of the late 90s. Nor do I think he always earned his role as the team's heart. But! Xander is far more layered than his worst moments and even I, infamous Finn Hudson hater think we should cut him some slack and not be too harsh on the ch for the sake of it. I really do feel like a lot of the Xander hate is for the sake of it and actively trying to not like the guy and I don't agree with that kind of hive mentality of collectively hating on him. And even if you can't bring yourself to like him, which, fairs, he's still an integral part of the series and ignoring him altogether is cutting the metaphorical heart out of your equation.

I think blaming him, of all people, during the mutiny scene is 100% unwarranted. There were plenty of times when he was way harsh on Buffy or didn't take her side when he should have but in this case I completely understood him taking a step back and not defending her. Xander roused the Potentials into following Buffy into that vineyard and he lost an eye for it. Even the trauma of it aside, he had logical reasons to doubt her.

I do feel like it sucks that Giles treated him as a joke, too, but that's a rabbit hole of its own. Again I don't think Xander always earned his title as the heart and the normal everyday guy but, particularly in the later seasons, he tries his best and is there when people need him. His feelings of insecurity are understandable and, as shitty as it was how he went about it, even his decision to call off the wedding came from an understandable place. I think it shows that he was essentially the token guy in a room full of empowered women on a show that was, crucially, largely written and run by men, so he defaults into toxicity on occasion. I dislike his entitlement to Buffy and making the group's decisions and I simply dislike the more stereotypically teenage boy things like constantly sexualizing women around him. But Xander is far from being all bad and he doesn't suck nearly as bad as people warned me he would. Some of the criticism is warranted but he seems overhated for the sake of it to me and, though I myself struggle with him, I think to ignore him and his validity in analysis is to fundamentally misinterpret BtVS as a whole.

[nayruwu]

idk if you are into tarot cards but I've been thinking about which tarot card fits which character in ons & putting aside the obvious sun moon star world, I think the devil card really embodies guren while the temperance is so shinya in his life & mahiru being the tower to him. If you get time to look up the meanings & what these card means to one another then I would like to know your thoughts even if you associate other cards with them I am interested to know your views as you always come up with angsty gureshin analysis I love reading them. :D

hellooo! :D sorry this took so long, but my knowledge of tarot cards was essentially zero so i had to do some research. i read up on the three you mentioned and then also on the sun & the moon because they did pique my interest as well. and i like your thinking!

just looking at the card of the devil itself is already enough to link it to guren. it represents your raw instincts and giving in to those pure unfiltered desires. the balance between good and evil. that's very guren. he has a pure heart, he has noble goals and yet there was no choice for him but to fall into darkness to achieve them. there is no way for him to be simply "good". he could not walk on the right path because he was too human. (there's also two people, a man and a woman, depicted at the devils' side, said to have fallen under his magnetic presence. and if you take that less metaphorically than it's meant it is absolutely hilarious)

now when you actually get that card in a reading, it means that there's some form of negative presence in your life that you've fallen victim to and don't think you can ever free yourself from. most of the time, this means addictions, bad habits or relationships that hold you back from becoming what you're meant to be. i wonder who that could be! but what else stood out to me here was that "with The Devil, you are choosing the path of instant gratification, even if it is at the expense of your long-term well-being". okay. give in to that weakness now and suffer tremendously for the next nine years. yeahhh.

the temperance represents patience as well as staying grounded and calm. knowing your path, knowing the outcome and being at peace with it. and yeah, shinya is definitely that levelheaded counterpart. stay human, stay weak and accept that it will kill you. stop struggling, stop fighting. "bound by the earth and natural law" - "but it's not like i could break free of my human limitations and become some sort of god". (i think it's also cute that the person on this card is an angel.)

... and then the tower is just absolute chaos. realising suddenly and horrifyingly as everyone he loves does that his path is a lie, it cannot be treaded, and he is pulled onto mahiru's road of insanity. he is questioning himself, his beliefs and his purpose. although i can't quite bring myself to agree with the "it's for your highest good" part. the tower says you will suffer but come out of it stronger and better. yes, maybe mahiru's path will lead guren to his goal, but it really is questionable whether it will all have been worth it in the end. the guilt will never leave him, his relationship with shinya is fucked even if a miracle happens and they make up somehow, and pretty much everything mahiru has done to those around her to get this far is irredeemable. so i'm a little split on that end. i wonder how the story will handle it... if at all with the speed we're going at.

i also like the sun and the moon with their naïvety and repressed feelings, but you're right, those other three do fit better!

this was a blast. i hope i didn't interpret anything the wrong way :>

[moo-oon]

Good Omens Re-Watch pt.1

I'm rewatching Good Omens with some friends (some have seen it already some have not) and I thought I would share my thoughts as they come because I am dying.

EPISODE 1:

The scene where Maggie calls Aziraphale to her record shop because she cannot pay rent could potentially be seen as a foreshadowing of the downfall of Crowley and Aziraphales relationship. I believe that Maggie represents Crowley even though I initially thought otherwise. Running with that thought though Maggie feels like she's run out of time, and is unable to afford the shop (and in turn her lifestyle). Instead of Aziraphale addressing Maggie's concerns he brushes it off and makes an unfair trade to allow her to stay without paying rent. While on the surface it feels like a typical angel move, it stems from a place of selfishness. He does not want things to change, and he wants his music, so he’ll make it happen without ever addressing the root problem. Sound familiar :)

In the scene of Crowley and Shax in the park, Shax says that she has been trying to do elaborate plans to spread pain and misery but the humans get to it first. This feels a lot like Aziraphales and Crowley's relationship with heaven and hell. Both parties have inadvertently worked against them and their hopeful relationship.

I have seen so many people talk about the coffee shop scene where Crowley says “You only have three reasons to call me” and how that shows how much he gets used in the relationship. And while I entirely agree that Crowley is not valued enough Aziraphale responding with “its nice to tell someone the good things you’ve done” is really heartbreaking. You just know that Crowley wants to have normal domestic conversations and that Aziraphale desperately wants validation. PLEASE COMMUNICATE BETTER!

I could be looking into things WAY too much but when Nina says “hard choices, mint tea or chamomile” there has to be some purpose.

Can I just say that I love and adore Muriel.

Beelzebub is willing to give Crowley SO MUCH to get Gabriel back. Lowkey Aziraphale vibes? Also, Beelzebub saying “You could have whatever your nasty little heart desires” and Crowley not taking that as an opportunity to get him and Aziraphale safe shows his entirely different perspective. In Crowley's mind, the only way that they are truly safe is if there is no heaven and hell to interfere. If Aziraphale had gotten that offer (which he basically does in ep6) he would have taken it in a heartbeat. They are not in the same place mentally at all this season.

EPISODE 2:

I think the book of Job is such an interesting setting and I do not remember enough from my Catholic days to give a full review and so I will leave that to others. But may I say that there is something very telling about biblically focusing on the section of the bible where god screws over someone who believes and worships him so purely. Aziraphale idealizes god and all the “good” that comes with him, but ultimately is emotionally destroyed by his “teachings”.

Also, the Job section of the episode points out that god and satan talk on the regular. Timestamp around 3:40 Muriel says something like “And then Satan said” like it was just a normal afternoon chat. I do not know how significant or how insignificant it is but I thought that was silly!

Aziraphale holds himself back from correcting even Jim (Gabriel). When Jim is organizing the books in alphabetical order by the first word of the first sentence Aziraphale almost snaps at him before holding back. I know it's entirely different than correcting the almighty (as seen in ep1 with the creation of the universe) but it still feels significant.

The metaphor of Maggie being Crowley and Nina being Aziraphale is so perfect. Nina and her controlling partner (heaven) and Maggie watching from across the street pining over her but knowing it won't work. It won't work BECAUSE of the controlling partner and the mindset Nina has about it. I was unaware something so small could make my head and heart hurt so much.

“The big ones can be used as fly swats! I know what you’re thinking, but it is okay, it never works!” Gabriel basically saying that he likes flies and does not want to kill them is so sweet. He is delirious, confused, and unaware but still has some sort of love for Beezelebub :)))))))

I do not think it can be said enough how adorable and heartbreaking it is that Crowley wants to get Nina and Maggie together by being hit with a sudden rainstorm and sharing a canopy. No further explanation is needed.

The pain that is Crowley forcing Gabriel to remember even though it's painful because Crowley has done it. Crowley has been cast out and had his memory altered and broken up. His brain entirely shrunken and scattered. That theory just hurts my heart.

Back in Job times, Aziraphale tries to make assumptions about what god wants. Crowley has a better understanding of heaven and god because of his rebellion. We all know he is a decently high-up angel thanks to episode 6 so I trust his perspective on heaven decently enough. Aziraphale is so sunken in his desire to see the good and perfection in heaven and god that he is so utterly blind to heaven and HIS imperfections. 

“Angels can't be tempted, can you?” says a lot. First of it is interesting that they don’t seem to entirely know if it's possible. Second of all while Aziraphale entirely denies it he then immediately is tempted. Once again highlighting the flaws of his perception of a perfect heaven. Heaven cannot be perfect if Angels can be so easily tempted.

All you wonderful intelligent people that analyzed what/how/why the angels do not see or recognize Crowley as a demon in the ? childbirth? scene during Job times I respect you. So much to unpack there.

Nina associates people entirely with the coffee they order. She even judges people on that, despite that being only a fraction of their personality. Aziraphale obviously does the same and focuses on people and their sins rather than their entire situation. His moral code is so strict that he cannot even recognize that someone might have an unfair advantage or disadvantage that requires sin.

In the next immediate scene, he even views himself in such a tiny view. He did one thing against heaven and immediately assumes he was going to hell. Even calls himself a fallen angel.

[pawtistics]

OOOOO I WANNA KNOW ABOUT YOUR OCS !!!!! tell me about them!! maybe your main oc? aaaah or your fav oc? anything goes <333

YAYAY OFC HII THANK YOU!!! Im very excited to answer this !!!

RN IM THINKING VERY HARD ABT my two guys August & Tuesday ! Suicide talk throughout for their whole deal

Tuesday is an angel who comes to earth for reasons i haven’t,, exactly decided yet which is Unfortunate bc it is kind of a catalyst here. tuesday meets august who is Human and they fall in love! They’re both lesbians who use they/them btw :3

There comes a time where tuesday starts feeling,, Weird. and Bad. they come to the conclusion that they’re being called home to heaven and this leads to,, many many suicide attempts. brutal n gruesome n excessively Human, its not like they can simply Return, which is something that causes august to maybe question that being called home is NOT whats actually going on. they r distraught by the entire situation and dont want to let tuesday go , especially seeing as they r their first love.

There are many different endings for this that i’ve considered!! And i think if i do anything with this i might turn it into a visual novel for that versatility :) But.. major ones are these:

the story of august and tuesday is part truth part fiction, both involved are human and august is actually writing this abt their partner and their story together (both alive!!!!! and safe and well)

tuesday IS actually being called back to heaven within the story, but it’s obviously a big ol metaphor

tuesday is NOT being called back to heaven they just don’t know what being suicidal is. Eventually they figure it out together and get help

tuesday is successful with one of these attempts, perhaps after august agrees to let them go. i dont know what happens from there but i imagine it would have to deal w stuff that im not really prepared for or interested innnn????? So probably not this one ♡

i consider myself an angel sometimes and theyre a good way to express all that! and im really!!!!!!!!! Really interested in having characters w menhera stories/themes/etc!

IF Anyone has any further questions please do . <3 TITLE SUGGESTIONS WELCOME