#it's literally one of the best circuits on the calendar

[palewolfcheesecake-blog]

FIA don't you dare. FIA don't you goddamn dare.

[supermaks]

i'm dying for the part 2 of the essential max verstappen races i've watched all the first 10 (teenage crime era) and now i need the rest!!

✨💘 part 1 💘✨💎🧨🌠part 3🗽🎯

Brazil, 2019 In part 1 I said Max always stunted in the US, but like both Americas have a crush on him. People like to yap about his 'luck' and how 'lucky' he is. Max bends luck to his favor with a crowbar if he has to and this race proves that. also shout out to Hannah she’s BEEN the best CS in F1 fr 🌻

Austria, 2019 yes honey, that Austria, 2019. First Honda powered win for red bull and it came on the back of a cracked out prancing horse. Lestappen had angry sex in front of 200000 orange shirts and we just let them

70th year anniversary GP, 2020 Set the scene: for 2020 mercedes has put thee most competent driver of all time behind the wheel of a Boeing 707. They say it's a car but its an airplane ok. So every race is basically like 2 hour long british orgasm ASMR. This one tho, this should've been the beans and toast equivalent to Beyoncé at the superbowl. This should've been their Homecoming. They got 2 races in the calendar for the 1st time, it's F1's birthday, Lewis is driving a commercial airplane, it's happening during peak covid because their prime minister is insane, period. They had it all. Except, it was kinda warm out. And Max Verstappen noticed. Whole british empire vs one man's inability to not be the moment. Guess who won

Emilia Romagna, 2021 emilianos first victory of his maiden title year , and a race I remember watching and thinking. oh okay. so it’s time. With Max, even as a baby fan of both him and Lewis, I was always kinda like, waiting for the dog fight. And finally, lil bro has the car. Everything else was already in place. If u do watch my dumb list in order, which I recommend u do, u can actually c him get ready for 2021 over the years. His starts, and especially this one, become flawless, he has somehow learned how to manage his tires and dominate races in lesser machinery ((we dont talk about it enough. max has won races every single season he's driven in f1. every rbr car he's ever had, he got it home. that's a shooting star fr. thats a once in a lifetime.)) , he's patient, and still uncompromising, still unflinching. He's ready. We were not tho lmfaooo

Zandvoort, 2021 baby boys first home gp win. a lovely lil watch to feel warm and fuzzy inside and also just like watch him be the best driver on the grid at home

Russia, 2021 p20 to p2. Max in the rain, u already know wtf is going ONNN. A race for the GP girlies. SOOO so dope to watch a driver and an engineer orchestrate a comeback of that level in real time. A true privilege and I mean it wholeheartedly. I think GP and Max are soulmates like professionally. Also literally the funniest thing in the world when they're pulling into their lil positions after the race and my fav old man Lewis does a double take like that better not be who I think it is 😭

USA, 2021 listennn. it's 2021. I can't mention Max without mentioning Lewis. They took each other to realms of racing that F1 didnt even remember existed. When I tell u these bitches were 40 seconds ahead of everybody else. 40 seconds. In 2021. But yuh, the blond one set a purple sector with like 100 lap old tires to defend that win. 2021 was just very kind to the Circuit. Sexy sexy race

Jeddah, 2021 well if he's just some guy why does his pussy pop so severely. 😐 No F1 driver will ever serve cunt the way Max served cunt in Jeddah. Driver of the day for no reason other than pure fucking headassery. They said u can't move the culture by losing and that white man said hold on. That quali lap almost put a child in me. I am so sorry

((lil bonus from Zandvoort, 2022 like shut up imagine doing this to lewis hamiltondfmsnfksdlkjf))

Japan, 2022 2nd title win. And fittingly so, he would've lapped the whole field if the race had been completed in its full distance. 1 second faster than everybody else, still improving at the end. But its his recovery at the start that I wanna highlight here. On a wet track, awful conditions, mf sent it outside of t1 around sharl, not because he had to, not because his championship was on the line, but because he could. He went for it, no hesitation. Nobody else would go for a move like that. First, because they wouldnt be able to do it. Its an overtake that requires a control of the car that is left to the Hamiltons and Verstappens of this world. U put a wheel wrong and you’re done. Second, it just wasnt worth it. Rb was a rocket anyway, he would've gotten the lead back eventually. But that is not who Max is. Max refused to give up the lead for even a second. It has nothing to do with having a dominant car, its about racing. Max will always, always go racing. And I love him for it.

ty for reading 💝 I hope that u can return to these races again and again and find joy in watching our fav public enemy number one do his thing. He’s very good at it

[magicshopaholic]

Weekend Story: A Japanese GP Special (Part 1)

Summary: Years before all the heartbreak and drama, Kim Taehyung walked onto my paddock at Suzuka. Try as I might to look away, he was the only thing I could see on track.

or

How Taehyung and Dilara first met

Pairing: Taehyung x OC

Genre: Fluff, smut, angst

Word count: 27.5 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, stress, sexism, jealousy, heavy making out, blowjobs, fingering, dirty talk, sex

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @meirkive, @dreaming-with-happiness, @kflixnet, @k-radio

A/N: In honour of one of the best tracks on the calendar (but a questionable race :/), I've decided to post the first draft of Taehyung and Dilara's origin story! The initial idea was to just post an excerpt but not only was it too hard to choose, but so many of you wonderful readers requested the entire thing (despite the 40K threat) and after a point I couldn't imagine cutting anything out.

Do remember, though, this was written a very very long time ago, over a year before I even opened this blog. So while this is canon, in that these events already have and will continue to be referred to in future fics, there will be minor inconsistencies and differences in style of writing compared to the rest of the series. The biggest of these is probably that it's told from a first person POV, ie. Dilara's POV.

That being said, this is the first BTS fic I ever wrote and is therefore vv special to me, and I hope you all love it too :) It is set eight months prior to Los Angeles over the span of a race weekend.

(Also, congratulations to Max Verstappen who became two-time world champion today 🇳🇱)

Listen to: “on se plaît” by françoise hardy

part 2 | taehyung masterlist | main masterlist

a night to remember

Something’s different.

I stare at the ten foot poster, frowning and tapping my foot as the coffee in my cup sloshes around softly. Something’s different. I’m sure of it. My eyes skim everything; my own face, hair and race suit until the poster cuts off at the torso, followed by Max’s features and everything else on the poster. I still can’t figure it out.

Someone sidles up to me. “Do you know that from back there, it looks like you’re just admiring a poster of yourself?”

I shake my head, not changing my posture one bit. “Something’s different.” From the corner of my eye, I see Max frown, studying the poster himself. For all his fame as a hot-headed prodigy in Formula One, guaranteed future world champion and my very own teammate at Red Bull Racing, he looks just as confused as I am.

“I think my hair is parted differently,” he says thoughtfully after about a minute.

“No, it’s not that.”

“Well, maybe it’s the fact that you’re smiling. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this -”

“It’s nothing to do with our faces,” I interrupt him, rolling my eyes. “It’s something else… the background or design or - or layout…” There’s a few more seconds of silence before Max sighs.

“Alright, I’ve lost interest. Can we go inside now?”

“I’m right behind you,” I murmur absently, now scanning the text at the bottom of the poster.

“Dilara, Christian is literally looking right at you from the Red Bull enclosure.”

That gets me to pay attention. I snap away from the poster in the parking lot and join a mildly smug Max as he makes his way into Suzuka, the circuit in Japan. One of the last races of the season, Japan is chilly as expected and I internally groan in anticipation of the three days of the weekend that we’ll need to drive around in the cold, waiting for our tires to heat up before they can really zoom.

Thursday is PR day, however. All of us drivers have reached the paddock early in the morning, straight from the airport from the looks of it, while our luggage gets wheeled to our hotel about twenty minutes away from the circuit. I’m not the only one that’s jetlagged and bleary-eyed; from across the paddock, I see Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion, in Ray Bans and what looks like a set of robes over his jeans, rubbing his eyes as he looks down at his phone. Behind him, Daniel Ricciardo and his trainer Michael appear in identical McLaren hoodies, slow and unsmiling, with large coffees in their hands. I take a sip from my own when Max groans.

“What a shitty PR schedule?” Max doesn’t bother with any more small talk and gets straight to the point. “Why can’t we just have PR where all we need to do is sit and answer a bunch of questions?” he complains, reaching for my cup without permission.

I make a sound of annoyance but let go of the cup without much protest. Becoming friends with Max was as easy as it was unexpected, despite the fact that I share a first name with his ex. We don’t talk about it or even refer to it, but when everyone was in Monaco a week early for Daniel’s birthday party, the unspoken assumption was that I would be crashing at Max’s.

“One final year of Honda PR,” I tell him, trying to be comforting but failing, for I don’t want to sit around while a bunch of people talk in Japanese and Christian, our prematurely greying team principal in his early forties, pretends to not be annoyed while he answers questions in his dry English accent. “Gotta suck it up, though. They did deliver some pretty good engines the last couple of years. I was hoping to get in a quick workout today before leaving, though. It’s like a three hour drive to Tokyo.”

“Taking time away from your fangirling, is it?” Max grins when I squirm, reaching over and snatching my coffee back.

“I don’t fangirl,” I reply shortly. “Not in public anyway.”

“What about -”

“And that one night in Ibiza.” I don’t bother explaining to him that I was drunk and that the entire club was jamming to Daechwita. Max just wouldn’t understand.

He does give me a look, though. “You’re telling me you won’t fangirl while you’re at their concert? How would that even happen?”

“So we’re officially using fangirl as a verb, then? Believe me, no one’s going to be noticing what I’m doing at the concert,” I inform him confidently. “There’s probably a one percent overlap between BTS fans and F1 fans anyway - I’m pretty sure I’ll be anonymous.”

“Oh, sure, we’ll see.”

Over the year or so that I’ve known Max, I’ve gotten used to his need to add a sarcastic comment everywhere, irrespective of the context, which is why it takes me almost a minute to process what he’s just said.

“Wait.” I slow down slightly before frowning up at him. “What did you just say?”

Max raises his eyebrows under his Red Bull cap, ignoring a photographer who darts in front of us to take a picture (Red Bull teammates enter the paddock together!). “I said we’ll see.”

“Yeah, but… you’re being facetious, right?”

“Not a hundred percent sure what that word means but I’m going with no.” When I stare at him, eyes widening, he frowns in confusion. “I meant, we’ll see because we’ll be there,” he explains kindly.

“No, no, no, no,” I mutter, slapping his shoulder. “What does that mean? How are you - how did you even get tickets?”

“Lily got them for us.”

Lily, meaning Lily He, Chinese-American golfer dating Alex Albon, another fellow driver. Also the person who got me my ticket. “Um -” I clear my throat, trying to make sense of this. “Lily said she was getting tickets for us.”

“Yeah. That’s what she did,” he says calmly, reaching for my coffee again.

“No, as in, her and me, us,” I say tightly, feeling my heart race. Max Verstappen cannot see me at a BTS concert. “And Lexie, of course. 

“Didn’t Lexie get food poisoning or something?”

I sigh. My trainer and probably the closest friend I have these days threw up on the flight from London to Tokyo and given the tight circle that is the F1 community, the news probably travelled to everyone before we even landed. It’s a blow, but there’s not much I can do about it.

“Yeah, she did,” I confirm, trying to hide my disappointment at losing my trainer for a day. “I told her not to eat ramen at Kuala Lumpur airport. Anyway,” I add hurriedly, getting back on track, “I thought Lily would just give that ticket to Alex and that’s it.”

“Oh, so you don’t mind if Alex goes with you?”

“No. He’s nice. And he can't make fun of me without making fun of Lily, too,” I point out, shrugging.

“Well, Lily’s us definitely included more people than you and Lexie. She got tickets for George and Lando, too, but George isn’t landing until the evening so -” He shrugs exaggeratedly, clearly oblivious to my growing horror.

George, Alex’s oldest friend and driver for Mercedes wouldn’t have been half bad. He teases and banters but is overall a decent guy. Lando, of course, a twenty year old twerp in McLaren who’s sure to have at least ten memes of me floating around by tomorrow morning, might be an even worse addition than Max.

“This is a nightmare,” I state as we reach the Red Bull garage. “Just be warned, Verstappen. I still have that video of you at that Martin Garrix concert.”

“Point taken. And don’t worry - we just want to get out of this town and see Tokyo before the race weekend officially starts,” he adds, sounding almost sincere as we pass another giant poster of him and I. “If your fangirling is the most fascinating thing we see there - not our fault.” We automatically separate to enter our own garages, right after I knock his baseball cap off his head and he playfully shoves me. “We’ll head out at four, yeah?” he calls, turning around and walking backwards, hands in his pockets.

It’s far from ideal; while everyone I’m having to go with tonight is ultimately a friend, they’re also a competitor, which means there’s still a certain distance I need to keep with each of them. Going to a concert together isn’t a bad thing at all, but watching me tearfully scream in extremely basic Korean at performers my own age is not something I want them to see. Ever.

I suppose I don’t have a choice. I’ve never been lucky enough to snag tickets to a BTS concert, mostly because I’ve never been in the same location. This time, though, their calendar and the F1 calendar have somehow overlapped - and even that’s only due to a stroke of luck that they decided to add a few more Asian concerts before their tour officially comes to a close. 

I had no idea, of course; ever since I moved from F2 into F1, I’ve only barely managed to keep up with their music, let alone anything else - I couldn’t even tell you what colour hair they’re currently sporting. Today is the last concert, though - the absolute last one - so when Lily called me as she sat in front of her laptop, waiting to pounce the moment tickets went live, I said yes without a second thought.

After an hour at the gym and a quick shower, I reach the paddock the same time that Max does. Near the Red Bull enclosure is a huge standee with both our faces on it, similar to the one I was staring at in the parking lot, Max looking smug and so Dutch while I tilt my chin down and look up with only a hint of a smile. It was a suggestion from my publicist: “You’re a girl - the only girl - and people will underestimate you. Try not to smile too much. Stay somewhere in between the Gasly and Raikonnen territory - far away from the Ricciardo area.” Under our picture is a stream of sponsor logos, starting with Honda. I frown as we walk past it, still unable to put my finger on what’s wrong with it.

Once we’re inside, I’m descended upon by hair and make-up, who touch up my cheeks and hair until PR officially starts. Half an hour in, I’m taking a break outside my garage, drinking a bottle of water and talking to Tom Clarkson, a journalist, who’s passing by on his way to the McLaren enclosure when I see a handful of photographers approaching, backs to us, busy taking pictures of someone. My first thought for some reason is Yuki Tsunoda, the only Japanese driver, but he’s no longer on the grid… I frown, but all it takes is a moment where the photographers back away and I recognise the guest immediately.

Or guests, I should say. I can hardly believe my eyes. I almost hope I’m having a moment of unconscious bias and mixing my Asian men but I know that’s an empty hope. There’s only four of them, but they’re unmistakable: the tallest, the visual, the pretty one and the one with the cheekbones. I haven’t had favourites in this band in years, but I would recognise their faces anywhere. It’s only when Namjoon points at Max’s banner on top of his garage that I realise I’m shamelessly staring.

Calm the fuck down, Dilara. I avert my eyes instantly, wishing Tom had stayed so that it would force me to rein in the fangirl inside me, but before I can, one of the Honda PR guys meets them and says something in Japanese - presumably - and points at Max’s garage. There’s a moment of foreboding when I remember that Max is still in PR and therefore the only driver left is -

“Dilara Komyshan!” The Honda guy points at me and I make out my name in the flurry of Japanese as all four members turn to look at the same time. An entire year of media training means I automatically smile and give them a small wave as they approach. Namjoon is, as expected, the first to speak.

“Dilara, great to meet you,” he says, smiling and offering his hand. The others next to him wave and mutter their greetings. My first thought is that they’re taller than I expected - or maybe that’s because everyone looks tall when you’re five foot one. They’re also… bigger than I expected. They’re lean, but camera angles must be a thing because I suddenly feel like they’re towering over me.

They must have really taken me off guard, for without thinking, I go, “Aren’t there more of you?” I realise what I’ve said only after I’ve said it. There’s a moment of silence before all of them snort. Even though I’m embarrassed, I’m also glad; there’s usually no better way to start off a conversation than a joke. “Just four of you performing tonight?”

They’re just about coming around. “They were too lazy,” says Jimin, his smile even prettier in person. “Are you coming to the concert?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“First time ever,” I confess, crossing my fingers before cringing and lowering my hand. “But at least I know my favourite members now,” I add, gesturing to them and Jimin winks. 

I know what I’m doing - and I have a feeling they do too. It’s not a big deal, but it does happen remarkably often. Every time a male celebrity comes to the paddock, they inevitably pass by Red Bull to meet the first and only girl on the grid. It’s never to hit on me or anything, but as per my publicist during media training: “There’s probably something about the sudden dip in testosterone in the interaction that if you flirt, they will reciprocate”. It was subtle, but I knew what she was telling me to do.

“Well, I’m everyone’s favourite.” Jin deadpans and Jimin snorts again, but my eyes automatically go towards the only member that hasn’t spoken yet. Taehyung, in a loose brown button-down and black trousers, stands silently behind the other three, his smooth face betraying only the tiniest of smirks. He’d laughed at my joke - I think, for he’d lowered his head, too, but his long hair had obscured his face entirely. Now, his dark eyes snap from Jin to me in an instant and I hold his gaze for a moment before I look back at Namjoon, who’s now talking about why they’re in the paddock. I try to pay attention, for I really do want to know why, but I’m still hyper aware of Taehyung looking at me. 

Just media training. I force myself to think of them as any other celebrity; the last and only time I’d been this starstruck was when Daniel Craig had come to Silverstone in England and the humiliation of that day is not something I wish to repeat ever again, especially not with BTS.

Thankfully, another member of the Honda team appears next to me and greets them, and without thinking, I look back at Taehyung. This time, he holds my gaze for a couple of moments before turning his attention to the Honda guy. I don’t even try to follow the conversation; I just stand there politely, silently daring Taehyung to look at me again. When I chance it, his face is still smooth and impassive, with that same slight smirk as he listens to the conversation in front of him, almost as though he knows I’m looking at him. At that point, the Honda guy asks a question and Taehyung replies in Japanese, voice surprisingly deep and deadpan as ever, and the other three burst out laughing at whatever he’s said. He simply grins, clearly aware of how funny he is, and flicks his long hair out of his eyes.

At that moment, an arm goes around my shoulder and someone else joins me. “Dude, I think I figured out what’s wrong with the -” Max breaks off abruptly when he looks up, noticing only then apparently that I’m not alone. “Oh, hi, I’m Max,” he says, leaning forward to shake each of their hands. 

As they greet each other, I struggle not to roll my eyes because despite Max’s sub-standard acting, none of this is a coincidence. One day, last year, when Tom Holland had come to the Portuguese Grand Prix and stopped by our garage to talk to me, Max had slithered next to me exactly like this and whisked me away, introducing me to the move. When I’d been most unimpressed, he’d informed me that there was no better way to gauge the interest of a man I’d just met than to see his reaction when another man entered the picture. 

It seemed vaguely prehistoric and sexist, not least because he’d just assumed that I cared at all about a man’s interest on a race weekend, but its results had proven undeniably effective. Tom Holland had slid into my DMs that very night, Harry Styles had retweeted a picture of me and him the day after I’d met him at the French GP with a questionable caption, and Michael B Jordan - Michael B Jordan - had sent flowers straight to my London apartment. Nothing had ever happened with any of them, of course, but their gestures had been enough for me to gain a little extra, if begrudging, respect for Max.

I look up to see if Max’s move today has generated any desired results, only to see Taehyung looking at me again, face completely unreadable. His gaze flickers momentarily to Max before meeting mine again, before he flicks his hair out of his eyes and looks away towards Jimin, jawline sharp. Jackpot.

Meanwhile, Max tugs slightly. “Natalie’s waiting for us,” he tells me, pointing to the blonde journalist next to the garage, and the boys seemingly get the hint. They start saying their goodbyes and I wave back, when Namjoon says, “Hope you have a good time tonight.”

I start to smile and nod, when next to me, Max beats me to it. “Oh, we will,” he says casually, making me want to hit him. But I rein it in to the best of my abilities and simply smile, just needing this awkwardness to be over.

“See you tonight,” says Taehyung, face smooth and impassive.

I stare, for his tone makes it seem like it could be directed at both me and Max, but his eyes are still on me. The other members don’t seem to notice anything strange but I suddenly feel unbelievably grateful for Max Verstappen.

“Yeah. I can’t wait,” I add, waving and taking a step back and Max’s arm drops from around my shoulders. “Good luck.” As we walk away, Max leans down slightly.

“Think it worked?” he mutters.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say automatically. “But… what are they doing here?”

“It’s a Honda and Samsung event this weekend,” he answers, clearly pleased that he knows something I don’t. “That’s what’s wrong with the poster. There’s a Samsung logo in there. Your boyfriends got paddock passes.”

Elbowing him in the side and ignoring his grunt, I glance back one more time, making sure to flip my hair a little and see the band walking away as well - with Taehyung glancing back at me, face unreadable, a smirk at the corner of his mouth.

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur of random PR until we hurry back to the hotel to get ready for the concert. Tokyo is a good three hour drive away but with four F1 drivers in the car, we easily make it in under two and a half. Since Lando and Alex seemingly have no intention of drinking at all tonight, Max, Lily and I relax a bit and decide to have a good time, pre-gaming with a round of shots at a sushi bar close to the venue.

We have good seats; since we’re all VIP (“Lily, I could kiss you.”) and have a balcony to ourselves, we’re allowed to be liberal with seat numbers and, more importantly, are allowed alcohol. Lando, true to form, procures beer from somewhere, placing two six packs under one of the seats and passing cans of some Japanese brand around. About fifteen minutes before the band is announced, by which time fans are already screaming in the thousands and we are buzzed as hell, a bouncer-type comes up to us.

“Komyshan?” All four of my companions point to me as I raise my hand curiously. He hands me a white envelope, shrugging when I ask him what it is before walking away.

As he leaves, I tear it open to find a card in my hand, approximately the size of my phone. There’s a picture of BTS on one side, with the logo and details of today’s concert. On the back is a QR code, followed by the unmistakable words that tell me what it is, despite my disbelief: a backstage pass. For a moment, I’m speechless while Lily groans softly in longing and Alex and Lando frown. “How’d you get that?” Alex asks, looking over my shoulder with ease, six foot frame coming in handy.

I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how they knew for sure that I’d arrived, when I had, and how the bouncer had found me. Fortunately, Max comes to my rescue once more. “She met the band today,” he says nonchalantly. Alex and Lily shrug it away, the latter still eyeing the pass in disappointment, but Lando, who is no stranger to my occasional brushes with male celebrities, raises an eyebrow knowingly.

“Shut up,” I mutter, even as I continue to wonder how and why they’ve singled me out with a pass. As far as I remember, backstage passes aren’t even a thing BTS does very often. In fact, I’m not even wholly sure that it’s from the band. The smallest, most optimistic part of me that’s replayed my brief interaction with Kim Taehyung over and over in my head, feels convinced that it’s he who’s sent it - or at least it’s he that the rest of the band has agreed to send it for. 

But when the band finally comes out and the crowd screams deafeningly, my heart sinks a bit, for there’s no way in hell that I’m the only one that has a backstage pass. Immediately, I feel like slapping myself for reading this deeply into an interaction that had lasted less than three seconds - in fact, if I have to guess, Taehyung doesn’t remember it at all and the only reason they’ve sent it is to be polite, since we met in what can be considered backstage at my place of work.

It’s an incredible experience, though. All seven members have a stage presence of their own, different people stealing the show depending on the song. My eyes keep going only to one member, though. When Taehyung sings, smiles, or does literally anything else, I’m left with nothing to do but admire how exhilarated he seems when he looks at the crowd, how his long and sweaty hair falls into his eyes, how his trademark smirk widens to become the smile that I’m sure will one day kill me. 

They do plenty of crowd work in Japanese - in which, it seems, most of the band is fluent - and the crowd screams and laughs. None of the five of us understand anything except for the bits they say in English, of course, but Max is hopped up on enough liquor to jam to the music while Lando keeps busy streaming what feels like the entire concert, and Lily and I sing along to nearly every song.

At first, the distance to the stage had seemed much smaller. I’d half-expected at least one of the members (Taehyung, Taehyung) to spot me but when they’d come on, it was clear that they were performing to the crowd and not sections of it. The realisation had been mildly disappointing but it also meant that I could enjoy the concert without feeling too conscious, even as I forced myself to remember the people I was here with.

It’s objectively a wonderful concert. At the end of it, Lily and I are still buzzing as we head out with the guys. Just as we reach the door, I stop.

Max turns. “What?”

I don’t answer. The backstage pass feels like it’s burning a hole through my sling bag. I want to go, but this would be the first time in my whole life that I’ve ever entered a party alone. Max seems to know where my thoughts are. “You want to go?”

“I -” 

“Of course she does!” Lily exclaims. When I say nothing, she turns to me incredulously. “You - you do, right? You actually have a backstage pass, Dilara,” she explains to me slowly, as though I’m a toddler. “This chance will literally never come again.”

“But…” I’m suddenly stumped. “What - what do I do backstage? What do people do at parties? Do I - do I mingle?”

Alex and Lando, my fellow introverts, seem to seriously ponder this question. Max just squints at me thoughtfully while Lily half-glares at me. “Yes,” she deadpans.

She’s right, of course. I take out the pass and stare at it, hoping the answer will jump out at me. Finally, I look up. “If I’m not back in fifteen, you guys go on without me.”

Lando's eyebrows rise high up his forehead as Lily beams, but Max is much less subtle. He snickers and nods, telling me in a low voice to go and get lucky. Ignoring him, I take a deep breath and head backstage.

It turns out that "backstage" isn't actually backstage at all; a docent informs me that the backstage party is taking place at the hotel across the street where the band is staying tonight before leaving for their next destination in the morning. When I reach, the party is in full swing. I was right: there are at least a hundred people here, most of them girls, almost all of them with drinks as a Dua Lipa song plays on the speakers.

It's not as dark as I'd expected it to be. In fact, it’s less like the rock and roll afterparties I’d imagined and more of a lounge night, with a nice vibe and what looks like an open bar. The lights are dimmed and the music is blaring, but I spot the band almost the moment I enter. I spot Namjoon with a drink, standing with Jin and Suga as they laugh at something. Next to them is Hoseok, enthusiastically talking to a couple of girls, both of them hanging onto his every word. On the other side, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook bop to the music together, looking effortlessly graceful as they do so.

Now that I've spotted the maknae line, I have no idea what to do. It's far too awkward to walk further into the party while not knowing a soul. Even when I scan the rest of the crowd, I can’t really tell who they are. They definitely aren’t fans; everyone is dressed in designer-wear which makes me wonder if this, too, is a PR-related afterparty. It would certainly explain my presence here. Just as I start to wonder if this is all a terrible idea, from all the way across the room, Taehyung's eyes meet mine.

Before anything else can happen, though, we're blocked by a bunch of people entering the makeshift dance floor. Suddenly feeling uncomfortably alone, I go to the bar and order a beer - anything to not feel this awkward. The feeling doesn't last, though, and when another ten minutes pass and I don't see Taehyung anywhere, I get ready to admit defeat.

I turn around to leave, placing my beer on the bar and calling Max, when I finally see him again. I don't know if he knows that I was just about to leave, but this time he sees me and starts walking straight towards me, squeezing through the crowd of dancing people.

I stay rooted to the spot, my phone at my ear but the ringing sounds more distant by the second. When he reaches me, he places a hand behind me on the bar and leans in to speak into my ear. His long hair brushes my cheek and I catch a whiff of cologne.

"Do you want to go somewhere quiet?" Taehyung asks, sounding like deep velvet.

Finally.

I hesitate for a second and then nod, trying not to seem too eager, and motion for him to lead the way. My phone call is forgotten as I follow him through a side door, a couple of dark corridors and two flights of stairs to what looks like a balcony. I step out onto it, registering the long patch of fake grass and soft and sparkly lighting, to see us overlooking the pool of the hotel. Okay, this is it. 

I can feel Taehyung behind me, albeit a few feet away. I turn around to see him with his hands in his pockets, long hair falling into his eyes, surveying his surroundings with a mildly satisfied expression - I can’t tell for sure, because his face is just so goddamn unreadable. His eyes land on me, though, and - I know it sounds ridiculous - but the night suddenly feels warmer.

“I feel like Rapunzel,” I begin, peering over my shoulder at the ground again, not knowing how else to mention my deathly fear of heights. When Taehyung simply tilts his head curiously, I continue. “Rapunzel. She had really long hair, locked up in -”

“No, I know Rapunzel,” he interrupts, looking slightly amused. “Should I rescue you, princess?” he asks seriously, raising his hand to his side in a fist as though holding an invisible sword.

I almost laugh. The Paddock’s Princess was what the media had titled my first feature article when I started in Formula One, a slightly sexist nod to the first girl in the sport. Some fans who couldn’t stand the sight of me on the grid used it with vigour on social media until my fellow drivers started deliberately using it, too, succeeding in eventually turning it into a somewhat casual nickname rather than an insult.

I highly doubt Taehyung knows this. In fact, hearing the name come out of his mouth makes me feel something else entirely. It’s incredible that he’s already eliciting such ridiculous thoughts in my mind; the only saving grace is that I’ve resisted displaying it so far - and it’s only because he seems to know the effect he has on me. “Oh, please, my prince,” I answer dryly, putting a hand to my chest. “Help me?”

Taehyung smirks, like he’s enjoying an inside joke. “Did you enjoy the show?” he asks, voice calm and deep. The Korean lilt in his voice is more pronounced than some of the other members’, based on the few things they’d said on stage and certainly more than Namjoon’s. It makes my toes curl inside my shoes.

“Of course,” I say honestly, leaning back against the railing. “My friends enjoyed it, too.” I say it without thinking but if Taehyung thinks of Max, he doesn’t show it.

“Oh, I know. I saw you dancing.” 

I raise my eyebrows, genuinely surprised. “You - you did? There were some ten thousand people there.”

“You were in the VIP box. It wasn’t hard.” His smirk is more pronounced now as my face starts to heat up. “You’re a good dancer.”

“Thank you. You’re a good singer.”

That makes him laugh. His smile hits me like a ton of bricks and I know that I absolutely have to see it again, that I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. “Show me what you know,” he suggests.

I laugh nervously. “No… no way. My dancing is for my trainer and my studio only.”

“Isn’t there a video of it?”

I stare, having forgotten this rather important detail. “There is, but that was filmed against my will.” I shake my head. “I don’t - I don’t dance in public.” Definitely not in front of an idol who does it professionally.

“You were fine dancing in public during the show,” he points out. If my mortification shows on my face, he doesn’t comment on it. “If you dance, I’ll sing,” he suggests.

It hardly seems fair, so I cross my arms across my chest and raise an eyebrow. In response, he simply sits on the floor on the fake grass, leaning back on his hands with his legs stretched out in front of him, looking up at me expectantly.

“You really want to see me dance to one of your songs?”

He shrugs. “I performed for you,” he points out.

I scoff. “You didn’t perform for me, you performed for the thousands of fans in the audience.” I cringe inwardly the moment I’ve said it, half-expecting a corny line like But I was only looking at one, but all Taehyung does is slowly smirk a bit more, as though daring me to guess what he’s thinking.

"Oh, come on, don't be afraid to get it wrong," he says smoothly. "I'll help you." He says it very casually but I have a feeling he knows what he's doing, because despite how nervous I am, the one thing I can’t let go of as a professional athlete is a challenge.

“I’m not afraid.”

It’s the wrong thing to say because based on his smirk, he knows he’s hit a nerve. “Dance for me, princess,” he says softly, only halfway back in character.

I would normally die rather than say this, for it’s the most filmy line imaginable. But then again, nothing about this night feels real, so I say it before I can stop myself.

“Make me,” I say, meaning it.

Taehyung stares. Then he shrugs and stands up, dusting off his hands as he comes up to stand behind me. My smirk fades when I realise he’s taking me at my word.

“Like this,” he says, turning me slightly so that we step together. He’s just about a head taller than me; the top of my head reaches his jaw and his chest brushes my back. I do my best not to sink into him and try instead to focus on what he’s doing. “And up, step, step, turn…” Taehyung’s hands fall from my shoulders to brush my arms and down to my hands, so casually that I barely notice until the last step when I turn around and he doesn’t. Instead, our arms crossed and fingers still intertwined, he lowers his head and kisses me mid-turn.

Or I kiss him. I’m not sure. But we kiss, and all I can think is Fucking finally and Holy shit, this is what people mean when they say fireworks. One of his hands drops mine and comes up to my face, brushing my hair. It’s a really, really nice kiss, all lips and butterflies and hormones. I start raising my hand, wanting so badly to run it through his hair when his phone rings.

Taehyung pulls away, face scrunched up in annoyance and embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, dropping my hand and reaching for his phone. “I need to -”

“Go ahead,” I tell him, taking a small step back, feeling somewhat glad that I get a few seconds to process what’s just happened. He nods and touches my arm before stepping away and answering the call. All I can make out is Jungkook’s name amidst all the Korean. If I have to guess, his bandmates are trying to locate him. I remember then that I’d called Max a while back; I whip out my phone and find a message from him.

Did you call me? We’re at a club one block over and I can’t hear a thing. A few minutes after this message, he’d sent another. Oi, Komyshan. You alright? 

I frown, trying to suppress my smile at how perfectly alright I am. I turn around to see Taehyung still on the phone, body tilted towards me but looking away as he speaks to Jungkook. Suddenly, even though he tries to cover it up, I hear my name. It’s the first time he’s said it - Dilara - and with his deep, raspy voice and Korean lilt, it sounds like a song. I make up my mind in an instant and reply to Max. I’m good.

Taehyung’s call ends and he puts his phone back in his pocket before walking up to me slowly. “So… where were we?”

I grin. “You were teaching me how to dance.” Just as he nears me, I take a step back. “Uh-uh. You aren’t going to rescue me from this big, scary tower first?” I ask dramatically, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

He stops in his tracks. For a moment, I’m afraid he thinks I’m a complete lunatic. I know half my friends definitely think that, every time they ask me the time or to pass them a bottle of water, and I respond with a line out of a movie. But before I can step back and hastily apologise, he grabs my wrists in his hands and tugs.

“It’s more fun if I’m the one holding you up here,” he suggests, tilting his head again like he’s asking my permission to change the story. When I bite my lip, trying to suppress a smile, he tightens his grip and narrows his eyes. “You can’t escape me, princess.”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay with that,” I murmur, throwing caution to the wind and reaching up to kiss him again. He responds immediately, pulling me even closer as his arms go around my waist, his much taller figure engulfing me as I stumble backwards.

Keeping me close, Taehyung snickers against my lips. “You’re a very easy captive,” he teases, biting my bottom lip and kissing me immediately, swallowing my gasp of surprise.

“I’m pretty sure I’m stronger than you,” I inform him, wrapping my arms around his neck and finally running a hand through his thick hair, returning his kiss. “I could totally get out of this if I wanted to.”

“M-hm?” Taehyung brings a hand up to my face to kiss me deeper and I feel all vestiges of self-control about to leave me. “It’s a good thing you don’t want to, no?” he mutters, backing me into the railing before pulling away. “Still want to be rescued?” he asks cockily, tilting his head towards the drop.

Barely suppressing a smile and feeling my cheeks flushed, I playfully push him in the chest, making him stumble. “I can escape you all by myself,” I remind him, ducking out from under his arm and walking away, my heart skipping a beat when I hear him laugh behind me.

Before long, we end up lying down on the grass next to each other, making out, playing around and just talking for what feels like hours. His grasp on the English language is better than he gives himself credit for; it’s good enough to carry on a conversation, like we’re doing, although he does stop every now and then to recall a word or to ask me for one. I remember how he didn’t speak much at the paddock; does it mean he trusts me a bit more now? It’s strange but I know I do, enough for someone I’ve known for less than half a day, enough that talking to him feels like the easiest, most natural thing in the world.

“You can call me Tae, by the way,” he says after a while, lying down on his back with his shirt unbuttoned and looking up at me. His long hair looks jet black against the bright green grass and, finally giving into my urge, I reach over and brush his bangs out of his eyes from where I’m lying down on my stomach next to him, propped up on my elbows. “Although I like how you say Taehyung, too.”

I bite my lip. “Really? I think I’m getting the accent wrong.”

“Not really. Where’s your accent from? It sounds English, but…” He tilts his head again, squinting slightly.

“Yeah, it’s English, mostly,” I reply, a bit evasively. “I moved to London when I was a kid so my old accent is probably in there somewhere. I think I’ll just call you Tae, though,” I add quickly, hoping to move on. “And you can call me…” I trail off here, because I don’t actually have a shortened version of my name that anyone calls me. “Just Dilara, I guess.”

Taehyung chuckles. “It’s a nice name,” he remarks, playing with the ends of my hair where it’s falling down my shoulder. “Sounds really nice. Dilara.”

I lower my head slightly, feeling my face get hot, suddenly glad I don’t blush. “Thank you. It’s Persian. My mother named me.”

“Is she Persian?”

“Not exactly.” He continues looking at me expectantly, so I give him one more detail. “She’s Asian.” I don’t go any further and I can tell he’s picked up on my deliberate silence. 

“You’re Asian?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” His face is unreadable once again, but I can hear the curiosity behind that one word. I picture him trying to place me, taking into account my name, the beige complexion, my facial features and eliminating East Asian countries immediately. I feel my stomach squirm unpleasantly the longer he watches me and I drop my gaze. His slender fingers have paused, a lock of my hair looped around one of them. “And Komyshan?” he asks after a moment, a bit softer.

I bite my lip. “It’s Ukrainian. My stepfather is Ukrainian and… I took his name when I turned fifteen.” This is as far as I can go, at least with a virtual stranger, no matter how infatuated I am with him. I wonder if he’ll Google me after this; Wikipedia might be able to shed a bit more light but the most intimate details have thankfully remained wholly private. I raise my eyes to look at him again, making my stance clear.

His expression, still mostly unreadable, can only be described as thoughtful. He’s truly beautiful, I acknowledge, momentarily diverted. After a moment, his fingers resume their absent playing with my hair. “Dilara is prettier,” he says in a matter-of-fact way, as though coming to a conclusion.

Once again, the sound of my name from his lips is enough to get my heart to skip a beat. “You think so?”

“Definitely,” he chuckles, sitting up and gently pushing me back down, his long hair tickling my face as he kisses me again. I kiss him back, sighing into his mouth as he pulls me gently by the waist and, if I’m not mistaken, silently apologising for prying.

I almost forget that it’s a Thursday night before race weekend; being with Taehyung on this balcony with absolutely no one else feels like something you’d see in a movie. We talk well into the night about anything and everything - his tour, my first year in F1, places we’ve visited, funny things that have happened to us. He’s easily one of the most charming and charismatic men I’ve ever met in my life and I can feel myself falling fast and hard for someone who, for all intents and purposes, was a stranger just earlier today. 

“So tomorrow is when the race weekend actually starts?”

I nod, mouth full, as I pass him the protein bar. We’re sitting facing each other, cross-legged, sharing a protein bar I found in my bag, the only source of food we have up here. There’s a paper napkin between us on which I’ve drawn a rough sketch of the Suzuka circuit from memory, pointing out the difficult corners everyone’s worried about. Tae watched me as I drew and explained, brushing his hair out of his eyes as his face scrunched up in concentration.

“Tomorrow we get two hours of free practice,” I tell him, already looking forward to it. “We get to just take out our cars and get used to the track. Then we have one more hour of free practice on Saturday morning, followed by Qualifying in the afternoon and then the race on Sunday.”

Tae frowns as he chews. His shirt is buttoned up halfway now and all the sexiness he’d put on a little while back has disappeared. “How do you decide who starts first? In the race?”

“Well, that’s what Qualifying’s for. All twenty cars do the fastest lap they can and the slowest five get eliminated. Then the remaining fifteen do their laps again, and the slowest five get eliminated again. Finally the top ten do their laps one last time and based on everyone’s speed in their fastest lap, we decide who gets to start where.”

“Wow.” Taehyung nods. “Sounds stressful.”

It is, but I don’t say it out loud. It’s an unspoken rule in Formula One - in most sports, I would presume: you never let your competitors see you stressed. Ever. In F1, given that there’s just twenty of us who are friends, teammates and competitors all at once, it becomes all the more difficult but even more important.

The jet lag is properly hitting me now and the concert could not have been easy for him. But it’s clear that neither of us wants to leave. He makes me laugh. So much. It’s insane how witty he is and with my momentary flashes of sarcasm and self-deprecation, we end up laughing so much it starts to hurt. But I don’t lose sight of reality. As time passes, I know that we’re getting just that much closer to probably never seeing each other again. 

We’re lying down next to each other on the fake grass while Taehyung absently plays with my fingers, humming something under his breath. It sounds extremely familiar but the drink and the exhaustion is making it impossible to identify and it’s starting to drive me crazy. I think about asking him but that would mean disturbing the moment and nothing right now is worth that.

“How will you get back to your hotel?” he asks after a while. 

“My friends are still here in Tokyo, so I’ll go back with them. Whenever they decide to leave,” I add after a moment. I can feel him stiffen next to me and I guess that he’s looking forward to that just about as much as I am. My chest suddenly feels heavy, like it’s closing up, and when I feel my eyes sting, I realise that I absolutely, so badly don’t want to leave. A small part of me notes how ridiculous this is, how extreme my reaction is at the thought of saying goodbye to what is barely even a one-night stand. 

Taehyung has asked me another question, but I haven’t heard it. He sits up on his elbows and turns to me and I can see him frown at the look on my face, whatever it is. “What’s - what’s wrong?”

“I -” What do I say? No matter how crazy I’m being, there is no way I can tell him what I’m thinking. I open my mouth and close it again. “It’s - it’s nothing.”

It doesn't work. In fact, his face doesn't move at all. "Dilara." There it is again. He says my name and it sounds like a goodbye song.

I try again. "I…" But it's impossible with him watching me so intently. I look away. "I… don't want to leave," I say slowly, hoping it sounds like I just don't want to leave the city, not that I don't want to leave him.

His face remains as unreadable as ever, but I think I see a flicker of relief in his eyes and the deep breath he takes. He's quiet for a moment where I wonder if I've freaked him out. 

"Then don't." He says it in the same matter-of-fact way. I force a chuckle but don’t disagree with him. I look slightly lower; he’s still wearing a bunch of jewellery from the concert. Most of it is pretty blingy, but one of them is a black string with what looks like a guitar pick for a pendant. I want to ask what it is but I’m afraid that if I open my mouth, he’ll hear my voice tremble and then I’ll have to kill myself. So I hook my finger around the string and tug slightly, and he bends his head and kisses me again. 

The next thing I know, I’m being woken up by a phone ringing - mine, this time. I frown and look around; it’s still night, I’m still on the balcony, and Taehyung is still with me. At some point, we’ve fallen asleep, me on my back with one leg bent at the knee with Tae beside me, one arm around my waist, one leg on me, and his head buried in my neck. He stirs as I sit up, looking adorably annoyed as he opens his eyes slowly.

I scramble for my phone to see a call from Max. My eyes dart up to the clock on my phone and I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s only one a.m.; it’s not great, but it’s not a disaster either. Of course, it means it’s Friday, or -

“FP,” I whisper, realising that no matter how fast we drive to get back to the hotel, if Max and I aren’t in top form for practice, Christian is going to kill us, or worse, kick us off the team. I answer the call, bracing myself.

“Hey, where are you?”

“Hey, Max,” I say, hoping he doesn’t hear the sleep in my voice. “I’m, uh, across the street from the concert. Are you - are you guys leaving?” I turn to see Tae, now sitting up and watching me with sleepy eyes, messy hair and something else in his expression I can’t identify. I can’t help but smile and shake my head at him, when his phone rings as well. He looks at the screen and swears in Korean before picking up the call.

“Wait, who is that?” Max’s epic hearing comes into play. “Are you with -”

“Can you just tell me where to meet you?” I interrupt him, the thought suddenly occurring to me that he probably thought I was at a party this whole time. He gives me a location about two minutes away from where I am and hangs up, but not before telling me to hurry the fuck up.

Shit. Free practice. I’m not drunk anymore, but I’m definitely running on a lack of rest. I have no idea how tomorrow is going to play out but I know I need to leave now. I turn around to see Taehyung hanging up the phone as well.

“I have to go,” he says, already buttoning his shirt, before I can say anything. “I’m sorry, but my car is leaving and -”

“Yeah, I know. Me - me, too.” I don’t know what to do now. Neither does he apparently. We stand facing each other for a moment when I hear a ping. I know it’s a message from Max, that we need to leave, that we’re going to fuck everything up for our team tomorrow if we don’t. So before I lose my nerve, I reach up and press one last kiss to Tae’s mouth. 

His hand snaps up to my face and he kisses me back. It takes everything I have to pull away, turn around on the spot and sprint out of there. I take the steps two at a time and run through the halls, hoping that even the slightest dose of the real world will ensure that I don’t cry in front of the guys who will never let me hear the end of it. Mercifully, by the time I’m out of the building, I’m more stressed about finding their car than anything but fortunately, Lando pulls up right in front of me and Max throws open the back door. I jump inside and the moment the door closes, the car zooms forward.

“You alright?” Alex asks from the shotgun seat.

“Yeah, you were gone a while,” comments Lando, his tone betraying all sorts of theories as to why I was possibly gone a while.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I say, reaching for a bottle of water in between their seats and gulping down about half of it. “Just - just tired.” When they all snicker, I just roll my eyes. “Grow up. I was - it was nothing.” Yep, just Kim Taehyung and nothing else. Nothing at all.

“I’m sure “nothing” was sad to see you go,” he smirks into the rearview mirror, catching my eye and making it clear that at least one of his theories is probably confirmed.

“Well, for your information, I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Yeah, you just get a hickey instead,” says Max, brushing my hair back from my neck. I slap his hand away just as Lily pops her head up from the back row. 

“Oh, leave her alone,” she pipes up, almost giving me a heart attack. “She lived the dream. Believe me, D, you are the luckiest girl in the world,” she slurs, patting my shoulder and promptly passing out.

Drunk as she might be, Lily’s words make me feel a bit better. I don’t believe I’m the luckiest, but the fact is, I did kind of live the dream tonight. Leaving Tae… it was harder than I expected, but if I have to, I’ll take what I can and just hope he doesn’t forget me.

I fall asleep in the car. Deeply, deeply asleep. I’m woken up by an equally exhausted Max and all of us clamber gracelessly out of the car and trudge towards the elevators. It opens to Daniel Ricciardo, Lando’s older teammate and resident jock of the paddock, with his trainer Michael inside, both looking sleepy as well.

“Guess we’re all fucked tomorrow, huh,” I comment, rubbing my eyes as we enter, not caring about my smudged mascara. It’s taking everything I have to stay awake - and Max to help me stand upright.

“I can’t believe the traffic,” grumbles Lando, fist bumping Daniel and going to stand next to him.

“Was it just me or were there like ten bellboys in the lobby just now?” Lily mumbles as the elevator starts moving, head on Alex’s shoulder. “Is the President arriving or something?”

“Nah, it’s some celebrity,” says Daniel as my floor arrives. “Some boy band type. That’s why we were down there. I asked for room service like an hour ago…” I tune him out as the elevator door opens and I stumble out, dreaming about my soft bed, when something clicks.

“Wait.” I turn around to see the doors closing. “Wait! What did you say?”

suzuka city

The next morning, I wake up with a mild headache and a desperate thirst. I reach blindly for my phone and realise I’ve woken up before my alarm, an unprecedented turn of events. It’s still nine a.m. though and despite the fact that FP isn’t until after lunch, I force myself out of bed and head straight for the shower, stripping off last night’s clothes on the way. The water is hot and soothing and I end up standing under the shower for a good five minutes, feeling it through my hair before I do anything else.

Last night, despite a revelation from Danny, the only thing I’d managed to do after I entered my room was kick off my shoes, take off my bag and set an alarm before I fell on my bed and passed out. I’d clearly underestimated how exhausted I was, for you’d think that I’d stay up overthinking the obvious, but not only had it seemed far too good to be true, it also made no difference, for Taehyung and I had already said our goodbyes and I’m not sure I can do that again.

But they’re brand ambassadors for Samsung, says a stupid, hopeful voice. Of course it’s them. What are the chances of two K-pop bands roaming around in Suzuka at the same time? But it matters not, for I have not one but two Free Practice sessions to focus on.

I rub a bit of product in my hair and let it air dry as I rummage around in my towel for clothes and make-up. Days without PR are not days where I’m required to wear any make-up but I do anyway, for very few things give me the kind of confidence that perfectly wing-tipped eyeliner does. I don’t have the patience or the will to blowdry my hair today, but I’m satisfied with the natural curls forming so far. 

FP’s not for a while but I want to do a track walk this time - Suzuka is not easy on newcomers. And it’s raining today. So I pack a backpack with an extra Red Bull t-shirt and put on normal clothes, along with a Red Bull hoodie on top and head out of my hotel room, switching on my phone to text Lexie that I’m on my way. Before I can, however, I see a bunch of texts: one from Christian, one from Danny, one from Lily, three from Max and a bunch of Instagram alerts. I open Instagram first to see the announcement: Free Practice Cancelled On Friday Due to Rains. Under that it mentions that there’s only to be one FP tomorrow, along with Qualifying - meaning today is completely free.

My first thought is sleep. I’m in front of the elevator when I open the other messages: Christian’s is purely informative, Danny’s asked if I want to explore the city with him and Mike and Charles, while Max has informed me that there’s a FIFA tournament taking place in the game room and if I’d like to join. I’m just about processing that I can’t test my car today, when the lift doors open and I look up to lock eyes with one Kim Taehyung.

He looks just as surprised as I am. A baseball cap perched backwards on his head, he looks up from his phone just when the doors open and his eyes widen, face breaking into a smile that he immediately struggles to suppress. I notice then that he’s not alone; Jimin, with resplendent vermillion hair, has also looked up and evidently recognised me, for he’s looking at Taehyung with raised eyebrows and a Cheshire cat grin. After a moment’s hesitation, I step in and stand next to Jimin, hyper aware of Tae on his other side.

There’s a moment of knowing silence before Jimin asks him something in Korean. Tae clears his throat and replies, and Jimin immediately turns to me with the prettiest smile in the world and says, “Dilara? I’m Jimin.”

I smile back automatically - I don’t know a single person in the world who couldn’t smile back at Park Jimin. “I - I know. We met yesterday.”

“No, I know.”

Okay. “I’m a big fan,” I reply, shaking his hand. 

“A big fan of BTS or a big fan of Taehyung?” Next to him, Tae elbows him in the ribs and says something exasperatedly in Korean while I try and fail to hide a smile as I look away, basically confirming whatever Jimin is hinting at.

The elevator continues to descend. “So,” begins Jimin again, “what are your plans for today? Driving?”

“Um, no,” I say slowly, “everything’s cancelled, because of the rain, so no driving for me.” I shrug at him and chance a look at Tae next to him, who’s standing with one hand gripping the railing behind him, clearly listening to every word.

“Oh, so you’re completely free today?” Jimin asks transparently, already looking back at Taehyung with a raised eyebrow. I nod in answer and, as they begin speaking in Korean, I feel something brush my fingers. I look down to see Tae stretching his arm behind Jimin and intertwining his fingers with mine. As the elevator doors open, Jimin steps forward but we stay put, unspoken but clear - and Jimin seems to know it, too.

“He’s ditching us for you today,” he tells me in English as he steps out of the elevator and turns back to us.

“I’m sorry," I tell him cheerfully, not sorry at all, as Taehyung inches closer to me, already hurrying Jimin out.

Jimin grins. "You two have fun," he says knowingly as the doors close. I turn to Tae just as he pulls me to him and, slipping an arm around my waist, lowers his head and kisses me.

I kiss him back immediately, one hand going to the back of his head to his long hair. The elevator moves but I have no idea where to, and I don't care. I can't believe Taehyung's actually here, that I'm actually with him again, let alone making out with him in an empty elevator.

Evidently, he feels the same. His kisses are hungrier than last night and he's holding me tighter, as though he's afraid I'll vanish. Despite that, it still has the same playful, sweet, young feel to it. I run a hand down his chest, accidentally nipping his lower lip when I register hard muscle. While he'd been wearing a loose button down last night, today he's in a more form-fitting white t-shirt and jeans and I finally realise why he looked so much bigger in person than on screen. It doesn’t help to be thinking about this while we’re making out, as I find out when I involuntarily sigh into his mouth and immediately feel his jeans move. Given a choice, I'd do him right now.

But I can't. Eventually, before we both have a PR disaster, I reach for the cap on his head and take it off, pulling away and placing it on my own head. Tae pulls away and smiles down at me, shaking his hair out. "Hi."

"Hey yourself."

"Are you really free today?"

"Mhm." I nod, reaching up and kissing him again, the adrenaline pumping at the thought of spending time with him again. "One hundred percent."

"Do you want to..." He frowns, apparently searching for the word. "... explore? Explore the city with me?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Suzuka City? Um, sure… it's pretty public but we can -"

"Not exactly -" He starts to say when the doors open again and this time, Charles Leclerc steps inside. Taehyung and I immediately take a step back from each other but the damage is done.

If it's possible, Charles looks even more mortified than us. "Oh - oh, my God,” he stutters, his French accent sounding thicker than ever. “I am - I am so sorry. I didn't -"

"Charles, it’s - it’s okay," I assure him, foreseeing an I am stupid situation come to life. Both boys look so awkward that I decide to introduce them just to say something. "Tae, this is Charles. Charles, Tae."

Two sinewy forearms meet and shake hands, and they nod at each other briefly. "So, uh, I guess you won't be joining FIFA?" Charles asks, as Tae places his arm behind me on the railing.

"That would be a no." Thankfully, the elevator stops then and Charles steps out. Before he leaves though, I call his name. "Um… it goes without saying…?"

It takes him a moment to catch on but he nods. "Of course. I didn't see a thing." He nods at Taehyung and leaves. I try to believe him; I love Charles Leclerc, bless him, but I also know that he's one of the biggest gossips on the paddock. If anyone gets wind of what's been going on since last night…

I frown. It isn’t something I’ve given much thought to, if I’m being honest. I’d just assumed that both of us had to keep this quiet due to the public forums we were on. Before I can think any further about this, Tae nudges me to him. 

I’ll go anywhere with you. But before this corny spiel threatens to come out of my mouth, I nod. “Let’s do it.” I promise to meet him outside by the lobby in his rental car and get out on the ground floor so that he can get to the parking lot. Truthfully, I couldn’t care less about where we go. Saying goodbye last night had been harder than expected and despite Danny’s big reveal last night, I hadn’t dared to dream that it was BTS that was staying here.

“So?” he asks again. “Do you want to go on a drive with me?”

I stop at the breakfast buffet to grab a couple of croissants before I exit the hotel and it’s only when I see Melissa Nathoo, an F1 reporter, that I realise I’m still in my Red Bull hoodie. She catches me with a cameraman following her, and shoves a recorder at me. “Dilara Komyshan is here this morning, the third driver we’ve spotted so far,” she says enthusiastically into the camera as she falls into step beside me. “Tell me, Dilara, what are your plans on a rare free day on a Formula 1 weekend?”

I rather like Melissa Nathoo overall and the media is not something to be played with, so I wave at the camera before I answer. “It is quite rare,” I agree, “but I don’t know. Not a lot of rain here yet, so I might check out the city?”

“I hear there’s a FIFA tournament going on upstairs in the hotel,” she says. “I know Max, Lando, Alex, George and Carlos are going to be there for sure. Think you’ll make an appearance?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “It sounds fun but I think I’m gonna have to ditch my boys today for - for something else.”

“Girls’ day it is, then,” she says, completely misunderstanding me but I make no effort to correct her. Behind her, I spot a black SUV with Kim Taehyung in the driver’s seat, baseball cap backwards on his head again, pulling into the driveway. He looks so hot, turning the wheel with one hand and surveying the area around him with his smooth, impassive face. He stops the car when he sees me, the slightest smile appearing and making my heart skip a beat.

I say goodbye to Melissa and, aware of the camera following me as I leave, hop into the shotgun seat quickly and slam the door shut. The car is on neutral and immediately moves forward, and we exit the premises.

“Isn’t the city way too public for you?” I ask as I hand him a croissant.

“Oh, thanks. And, yeah, it is. That’s why we’re not going into the city… exactly.” Tae says no more, just looks out the windshield with the same slight smirk on his face as he dares me to ask where.

I don’t take the bait, though. “How’s that croissant working out for you?” When he chuckles with a mouth full of bread, clearly struggling with managing both the wheel and his breakfast, I roll my eyes. “Want me to drive?”

“But you don't know where we’re going.”

“Do you?”

“Of course. I think.”

I give him a look. “Tae, hop out. I’m the professional driver,” I tell him. “Unlike you, I can drive and eat at the same time.”

He gives me a wounded look even as he stops the car. “But… then what do I do?”

“You give me directions,” I suggest. “Oh, and you’re a professional singer - why don’t you sing for me?”

Taehyung snorts and leans his head back against the seat. “I’ve missed you.”

It’s admittedly been eight hours since we’ve seen each other, but I know exactly what he means. My heart gives a jolt when he turns to me, long hair falling into his eyes. I reach over and brush it away before taking off my seatbelt and hopping out, gesturing for him to get out, too. He groans but gets off as well, brushing my waist as he goes around the car, when I see it. Someone, about twenty feet away, squinting at us.

Without further ado, I slide into the car but don’t start it. I’m sure his fanbase is as strong in Japan as anywhere in the world, so it’s no surprise that someone might recognise Taehyung, but now that I think about it, I’ve never seen any of the boys in the media with a girl before. Ever. I sneak a sideways glance at Tae as he straps on his seatbelt, once again with a mouthful of croissant, and wonder if this would bother him. But when he looks back at me and raises his eyebrows, I can’t think of anything to say.

“Um… I should take this off,” I mutter instead, shrugging off the Red Bull hoodie and tossing it into the backseat. “Too recognisable.”

“Yeah, okay. You can wear mine if you get cold,” he offers, gesturing to the backseat. “Now. Ready to go?”

We end up driving outside the city, from what I can tell. The buildings decrease, the crowds of people start thinning out, and the roads become wider. Tae has Google Maps open, but I haven’t the faintest where he’s directing me to. At first I’d thought we were just driving out somewhere, but it turns out he has a specific destination in mind. He refuses to tell me what it is, stating only that he and a few of his group members had been there last year and he thinks I’d like it. I pretend to be annoyed but it only makes him laugh and frankly, I’m more than okay with this arrangement. I love driving, the roads are nice, the weather is beautiful - and I’m with Taehyung on a rare, free day on an F1 weekend.

Despite whatever I’d said about being able to drive and eat together, Taehyung still ends up feeding me bites every couple of minutes, occasionally licking chocolate off his fingers absently. He does end up singing; he starts off by casually humming random melodies, followed by lyrics, some English and some Korean, and while I recognise some of them, I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s composing music on the fly. I want to ask, but his voice is the drug I didn’t know I needed and I can’t bring myself to interrupt him. Somewhere during the drive, his hand travels to my knee and rests there, big and warm as he occasionally taps along to whatever he’s singing.

“Tae, are you sure you’re reading the map correctly?” I ask about an hour in. So far he’d been confidently giving me directions, but now he’s peering into his phone, looking concerned.

“I think it’s this way…” he says, sounding rather unsure, looking ahead at a mostly blank expanse of the outskirts of the city. “This place does look familiar…”

I turn to him incredulously. “Every place looks like this place. There’s a town in England that looks like this,” I tell him. “Do you want to ask someone for directions?”

Taehyung looks at me and then looks outside, to see absolutely no one around. “Okay, look, it’s okay. Alright? I remember this place. There was a McDonald’s and then there was… you know, that - that tree.”

I can’t remember being this exasperated and endeared towards anyone in my entire life. “Tae?” I have to consciously resist the urge to add a baby after his name. “Just tell me where it is - or even what it is - and we can take the shortest possible -”

“Found it!” He turns to me, eyes wide and bright. “It’s here,” he says, zooming into the Maps on his phone. “It should be… there!” I look to see him pointing in the distance to a low house with a sloping roof and trees around it. “It’s right there! It should only take us…” He checks his phone and his face falls. “... another twenty-five minutes. Shit, I’m sorry, Dilara.”

But I shake my head. “I do this for a living, remember? I’ll get us there in ten. Seatbelt on.” I step on the gas and zoom. By the time we reach and I bring the car to a halt, Taehyung is plastered to the seat, breathing heavily with his face slightly green. When I hastily put on his hoodie, go over to the other side and open the door, he tumbles out, groaning and breathing heavily.

“Oh, my God.” I try not to laugh as I kneel down next to him where he’s curled up on the paved grass.

“Am I alive?” His voice is muffled. “Is the car still moving? Am I dead?”

“Shut up,” I murmur, brushing grass off his white t-shirt as he continues moaning on the ground. “Tae, you’re okay,” I tell him when he finally turns over on his back and opens his eyes slowly.

“I’m never getting into a car with you again,” he says seriously, which only makes me burst into laughter. He shakes his head and closes his eyes again, long black hair looking darker against the green grass. It suddenly reminds me of last night. I think it does the same for him, because he opens his eyes and doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He tugs on the zipper of my - his - hoodie before finally sitting up and shaking out his hair. He throws on the baseball cap and claps his hands. “Ready?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Are you?” When he chuckles and nods, I stand up and offer him a hand. He takes it but doesn’t let go, not until we reach the gates and he knocks on it with the metallic clasp. A man appears and, after a brief interaction in what I’m pretty sure is Japanese, Tae ushers me inside and takes me behind the house towards what looks like a large grassy field.

“Where are we -” But he shakes his head and gestures for me to keep moving, with his hand hovering over my back across the expanse of the field. I can hear sounds; they’re soft and high-pitched, immediately reminding me of Angry Birds for some reason. When I look back, the man who’d let us enter hasn’t moved from in front of the house and is instead watching us go. 

I stop in my tracks before a small dip in the ground. The sounds are louder now and all the other silence is making me uneasy. “Tae…” He bumps into me and I feel myself backing into his chest even more. “Where - where are we?”

“Almost there.” His hands close around my shoulders. When I don’t move, he squeezes them and nudges my head with his jaw. “Dilara, come on, I promise you’ll like it.” It’s only the sound of my name in his deep voice that makes me move forward. Come on, I think, you drive tiny cars at ridiculous speeds. You can take whatever’s down there.

I keep repeating it to myself as we continue walking, Taehyung’s hands on my shoulders the entire time. Finally, when the field opens up and I open my eyes - I had no idea they were even shut - to see a field of -

“Puppies!” Taehyung hops out from behind me and throws his arms out, looking thrilled, evidently gesturing to the large backyard full of puppies of all breeds. The moment Tae backs out into the field, they yelp and yip and swarm towards him, eventually tripping him, where he laughs and stays fallen as three different puppies start crawling on top of him.

My heart is still returning to its normal speed after the anxiety of finding out what it’s in the mysterious backyard, but now it’s beginning to expand, feeling so full and so happy because I know - I just know - that if there is one more sure-shot thing that confirms that I’m falling in love with Kim Taehyung, a field full of puppies is it. 

The feeling doesn’t go away the entire afternoon; in fact, if anything, it only intensifies. The serotonin that the puppies provide is incomparable. There have to be at least twenty of them, some bigger than others, all of them thrilled with the entry of two humans they’ve never met before. The owner of the dog farm only appears once after that, briefly, to check if we need anything but apart from that, Tae and I are alone. It doesn’t even matter; I know I could spend hours here, running around with a bunch of puppies and Taehyung, the only person it seems who can actually draw my attention away from them.

I catch him looking at me sometimes; while it’s mostly with laughter and happiness, once in a while, he gets this strange expression on his face, like he’s just noticed that something’s wrong. Every time he sees that I’ve noticed it, however, he shakes his head and smiles, almost like he’s telling me not to worry about it. I try not to - and succeed, for the most part. Most of the time, we’re laughing and cuddling puppies and taking pictures and videos of each other, silently desperate to commemorate today as much as we can.

Hours later, we’ve calmed down, as have the puppies. I’m lying down on the grass, two cocker spaniels curled around each other next to me and leaning their little heads against my waist. I turn my head to the side to see Tae lying back on the grass as well, a labrador falling asleep on his chest, while he strokes its head and hums a song absently. I recognise it instantly; it makes me catch my breath because he’s honestly the last person I would’ve expected to be singing a Francoise Hardy song - but for some reason, right now, it also feels like it makes complete sense.

I’m about to ask when he turns slightly to see me watching him and gives me a small smile, stretching out his arm towards me. I touch his fingers and run my thumb over a ring on his index finger. “Did we really meet at the paddock for the first time only twenty-four hours ago?” I ask softly.

Taehyung chuckles. “Seems crazy, right? I noticed you immediately, though.”

I frown playfully. “Of course you noticed me. You were talking to me - or at least the other guys were. You wanted to look all mysterious and sexy so you didn’t say anything.”

“Aw, come on,” he says, grinning and sitting up on his elbows as the labrador crawls off, “I liked you. You know I did.”

I roll my eyes before looking back up at the sky and closing them. “Define like.”

“Well…” I hear a shuffle and suddenly the sun behind my eyelids disappears and I open my eyes to see Taehyung on top of me, long hair falling on his forehead and into my eyes. “I wanted to do this -” He lowers his head and kisses my cheek “- and this -” He kisses my neck “- and this -” He kisses my lips “- and a whole lot more,” he finishes with a smirk. 

Feeling my face heat up, I wordlessly grab the front of his t-shirt, pull him down and kiss him. One hand goes straight for his hair and the other stays where it is at his chest as I kiss him deeply, never ever wanting this moment to end. Tae lowers himself onto me and kisses me back with the same hunger he’d displayed this morning in the elevator; his hand goes down my waist and up my thigh as I bend my leg, and he feels so steady. I want him so bad. He’s in jeans and I’m in pretty solid leggings, but it doesn’t stop me discovering that he wants me too, at least just as bad.

I bite his lower lip and his grip on my leg tightens - and I swear he growls softly - but before I can be sure, I hear a soft yelp and feel something pushing gently against me. Taehyung pulls away immediately to see one of the puppies standing on its hind legs and using my torso to balance. The sight is so adorable that neither of us can ignore it, and he rolls off me onto my other side, breathing slightly heavily.

I sit up and bring the puppy onto my lap before turning back to Tae, who’s lying back on the ground with one hand covering his eyes. I can’t help but snicker at how disappointed he looks, which makes him look back at me and shake his head, still looking a little pissed. All I can hear Just wait until I get you alone again which, combined with how flustered I am, gets me wondering if we can start it back up again right here, right now.

However, just then the owner appears, saying something in Japanese. Taehyung sits up and replies and I get the gist: it’s time for us to leave. It’s just as well; we’re both hungry and tired so we get up and dust ourselves off - he jokingly messes up my hair as he does so before pulling me back into his chest for a quick hug. As we walk to the car, I wonder how much of the small affectionate gestures he’s even really thinking about. With the quick pecks, the occasional squeezes of the shoulder, I don’t know what worries me more: the fact that they’re seemingly natural or how much I love it.

“What do you want to eat?” Taehyung asks me, in the driver’s seat this time. “Keep in mind it’s just a town so we won’t get anything fancy.”

“Do I seem like the kind of person who’s into fancy?”

He shrugs. “You’re in the most expensive sport in the world,” he points out.

I give him a look and reach to pick a blade of grass out of his hair. “Fair enough. But I’m hungry and I know we can’t be seen, so I’m good with anything.”

The drive into town is quieter. Tae drives a little slower than I’m used to but it means longer with him, which I’m good with. We switch on the radio this time and a Post Malone song starts from the middle and Tae immediately starts singing along, his deep voice a whole octave lower than Malone’s. I roll down the window and look out, letting the wind blow through my bangs and closing my eyes. I look around after a few minutes to see Taehyung with one hand on the steering wheel and the other pointing his phone at me.

“Tae!” I exclaim, swatting the phone out of his hand as he laughs and swipes it out of my reach. “Eyes on the road!”

Another song starts and this time I recognise it immediately. I look over to Tae to see him smile automatically as Jimin’s voice comes floating out of the stereo. “Can I just say that this is one of my favourite BTS songs ever?” I tell him and his smile gets wider as his part comes and he starts singing along. Just then my phone pings; I open it to see a message from Vicki.

Grill the grid taping at 4:30 with AT guys. Need you in at 4 for HMU and micing.

I stare, my heart sinking. It had been so easy to forget that, technically, this is a working weekend for me. I briefly consider asking Vicki if I really need hair and make-up done, given that Max is probably going to show up looking like he’s just left the gym and Jehan I know for a fact has not shaved in at least a week. I’m wondering how I can word it without sounding like I’m complaining, when Tae notices my expression.

“Everything okay?” 

I sigh. “Yeah, I just… I have a PR thing to do today so I have to be back by four. Which gives us…” I look at the clock on my phone, “... a little over four hours.”

Taehyung nods. “That’s not too bad.” After a moment, he turns back to me. “How important is PR again?”

I chuckle. “Well, it’s part of my contract so I’d say it’s pretty -” But I’m cut off by a jerk. The car jolts and revs momentarily, before going still. “What was that?”

He shakes his head, hands hovering over the steering wheel. “I - I don’t know. I think we hit something -” He takes off his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out, and I do the same. At the front of the car, I see a huge stone that’s stopped the car and is preventing it from moving. 

“Damn it. We need to change the tyre.” I turn to Tae. “Do you know how to do that?”

His eyes widen. “Me? Aren’t you the professional?”

“I’m a professional driver,” I clarify. “But I don’t… I’ve never changed a tyre,” I admit, a bit sheepishly. When Tae simply shrugs, I realise we’re essentially stranded. I look around the fairly deserted town area. “Do you think we can find anyone to help us? You speak Japanese, right?” I look back to see him typing something on his phone. “Calling us a cab?”

He shakes his head. “Too risky. I can get the car towed back but to pick us up…” He dials a number and puts it on speaker, holding it between us. I hear what I think is Namjoon’s voice, but the conversation takes place fully in Korean. I hear other voices in the background which I presume is the rest of the band. At one point, he asks Taehyung a question and Tae, after a brief glance up at me, says my name in the midst of a long sentence. In the background, the rest of the boys hoot and Tae shakes his head, fighting a smile. The conversation ends after a few minutes.

“Okay, so Namjoon hyung is coming to pick us up,” he informs me, putting his phone back in his pocket. “We just need to get out of this district - it’ll take ages for him to navigate his way through the dirt roads.” He flashes me a heartbreaking smile. “Ready?”

The towing company arrives - surprisingly quickly - and arranges to take the car back to the hotel. I just about retrieve my bag before Tae pulls me back by the arm out of the way so that the giant tow truck can get the car off the ground. Once the car is gone, we start walking.

Even though it’s not really a surprise by this point, it’s amazing how quickly time seems to pass when I’m with Taehyung. The weather is cool and breezy and the town fairly empty, making it unnecessary to keep our distance too much. We still don’t engage in PDA per se, for it isn’t desolate, but walking together, laughing, and taking pictures and videos of each other doing silly things become so easy, almost natural. It’s the first time in a long while that I haven’t had to worry about photographers, something that’s definitely amplified with Tae, and we get to spend a rare day in privacy.

Taehyung takes so many pictures of everything. He doesn’t have a professional camera with him, something he laments more than once, but his phone seems more than enough as he constantly documents everything, finding even the most mundane object and getting a beautiful shot of it. Even when we’re walking through a canopy of trees and brambles and I’m piggybacking on his back, he has his front camera on and before I know it, snaps a picture.

“The sun’s glare is too strong,” I tell him after a while. I’m lying on my back on the ground where I’d bent down to take a picture of a ladybug. Taehyung is standing over me, hands in the pockets of his jeans, laughing as I point my phone up at him. I think he thinks I’m taking a picture but this moment is too adorable to not record. A few light rays of sun poke out from through the grey clouds behind Taehyung’s head, his dark hair thick and long; he looks like an angel.

“Alright, come on, you’re going to screw up your back,” he says after a while, bending and pulling me up by the hand in one swift movement. I feel a pit of butterflies in my stomach when he pulls me in and casually puts his arm around my shoulders as we continue walking and I show him the video, promising to send it to him.

We finally get to the outskirts of the town where Namjoon is supposed to pick us up. I sit on the pavement and sweep my hair off my neck as Taehyung walks in random circles on the road.

“So, hang on,” says Tae, kicking a stone and watching it roll away. “You’re half-British, right?”

“No, my father was Asian, too. My biological father,” I clarify, automatically clamping up at the topic. “So I’m not really part anything. I don’t know, my mum doesn’t really talk about him.”

“But you grew up in London?”

“Partly. We moved there when I was pretty young,” I say evasively, not wanting to get into how she was essentially kicked out for having a child out of wedlock. “Maybe when I was like eight or nine, and she met Rudy a few months later.”

“Your stepfather?” When I nod, he frowns. “But… what happened to your - your real father?”

I bite my lip. I don’t usually give out details of my family, especially my father. I’ve moved on from it but it’s not exactly a thing about my past that I want the public to know. I look away from Taehyung for a moment, who’s waiting patiently, thinking about how much I want to tell him. 

“He, uh…” I wonder why he wants to know. “... he left when my mom got pregnant. Wasn’t ready for parenthood, I guess.” I’m reasonably relieved at how nonchalant I sound. But I can feel Taehyung’s eyes boring into me and the last thing I want to see there is any kind of pity - seriously, it would make me livid if I saw even a hint of it - so in an effort to get far away from this topic, I take a deep breath and lean back on my hands. “How long until Namjoon gets here?”

Tae frowns at the abrupt change of topic but doesn’t comment on it. “Well, it took us over an hour to get here so I guess, around the same?”

I sigh and look away, still a bit put off at talking about my father. I can feel Taehyung watching me and I think he knows what’s bothering me. Either way, he doesn’t prolong it. Instead, after a few seconds, I hear a sound come out of his phone which turns again into Tu les garçons et les filles by Francoise Hardy. I look up in surprise to see Tae holding his phone up with a questioning smile on his face, as if asking me if this is okay. 

“I can’t beIieve you know this song,” I comment, unable to stop a surprised chuckle.

His smile widens, obviously relieved at my reaction. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop listening to this song,” he says, walking forward and holding out a hand for me to take. “It makes everyone feel better.” As if to test this theory, he pulls me up when I give him my hand, smiling down at me like the sun. “Now... “ He lets go of my hand and turns around on the spot, looking back at me with an exaggerated sexy look. “... we dance.”

Taehyung dancing on stage or in music videos is addictive. He’s so sexy and so talented that I could watch him and nothing else all day. It turns out, though, that when there’s no one watching and no obligations, Kim Taehyung grooves and bops to music like any other person. I laugh but can’t help but join in with him, dancing along to what is truly a very nice song. He looks so happy that I’ve joined in that it makes it all worth it. Somewhere during the song, he grabs my hand and twirls me into his arms, and we sway to an indie French song on a deserted dirt road in Japan.

“You have a really nice smile, you know?” he tells me, touching my cheek with his finger. “I have a thing for dimples.”

I feel the heat rush to my cheeks but I keep looking back at him. He looks angelic; I try to memorize everything - his hair, his smile, his cheekbones, his lips, his jaw, how his hand is firm on my lower back, how his other hand is gripping mine with his slender fingers - before I shake my head and tilt it. “Flirt.”

“Guilty. What does the rest of your day look like?”

“Well, if we ever get back to the hotel, I have about an hour of PR,” I tell him. “Then I have a drivers’ briefing - although since we haven’t even driven around the circuit yet I’m sure it’ll get moved to tomorrow afternoon. After that… after that, I’m free, I guess.” My gaze involuntarily falls to his mouth and I immediately raise it to look back at him, feeling my face heat up.

Tae simply nods, but I just know where his mind’s at, especially with the small smirk appearing on his face. He spins me around once but I don’t make much effort to hide my smile because I’m so sure that I know where his mind’s at, that the moment this morning in the elevator was something we hadn’t seen last night, that the interruption at the dog farm was only momentary. 

After that, both of us seemingly silently agree that we need to keep some distance between us, at least until we get back to the hotel. We share a can of Diet Coke that I find in my bag but it’s practically warm so after I empty it on the side of the road, we end up playing a makeshift game of football with the can.

I’m a pretty good racecar driver, but I suck at pretty much any other sport, apart from swimming maybe. As per his own admission, Taehyung is good at tennis - and anything requiring hand-eye coordination, really - but here, on a dirt road with a can for a football, we’re both abysmal. 

It’s so fun, though. We completely forget that we’re hungry and stranded; even kicking around an empty soda can be amazing if Tae’s around, apparently. I’ve always known that he’s extremely good-looking but seeing him like this, happy and care-free, flicking his long hair out of his eyes, tall and lithe - he’s otherworldly. I feel like I could watch him forever. I know I’m not a troll, but I find myself wondering more than once what exactly he seehs in me.

“Okay, okay, it’s happening, I’m doing it!” I kick the stupid can, dribbling it around Tae to get to our makeshift goal. I hear him groan and then feel him grab me from behind, stopping me from going any further. “Hey, that’s cheating!” I exclaim over his laughter, secretly loving the feeling of his arms around me.

He does, too, clearly, for he doesn’t let me go even after I’ve stopped struggling. I look up at him, about to say something, when I hear a shout. Both our heads snap forward to see a black SUV with the Hilton logo on it driving up the hairpin, with someone’s hand appearing out of the passenger window. Whoever it is shouts again, waving, and while I can’t make it out, Taehyung does immediately. He straightens up and his hands come up to my shoulder.

“Jungkook is here,” he says, only the slightest bit of surprise in his voice. “Must have pestered Namjoon to let him come along.” His hands fall from my shoulder and he goes back to sit on the pavement, leaning back on his hands, apparently satisfied that his friends are finally here.

“Oh. Great,” I say, sitting down next to him, his hoodie and my bag in hand. By the tone of his voice, it’s pretty clear that the reason Jungkook has insisted on coming along is because of me. We watch the car approach; when they’re about thirty feet away, I can see Namjoon driving and Jungkook in the driver’s seat, the latter grinning far too widely.

Looking at it, I can feel my nerves beginning to act up. “So, um… what happens if Jungkook doesn’t like me?” I ask, cringing when I hear the nervousness in my own voice.

“Then we’re done,” says Tae casually, before catching sight of my expression. “I’m kidding. Jungkook likes everyone. And you’re not that bad,” he adds generously. “Don’t worry, he’s the nicest out of all of us.”

“I’ve heard. That’s why he’s my favourite one,” I add innocently. 

“You said the same thing about Jimin this morning.”

“Depends on my mood. For example, last night I was in a very different mood.”

“Sexy and mysterious?”

“More like curious and horny.”

Taehyung chokes, I look back ahead, chuckling. He mutters something under his breath as his arm goes around my shoulder and he kisses the side of my head casually, naturally. My heart skips a beat and I think I see Jungkook raise his eyebrows in surprise as the car approaches and stops a few feet away from us.

Here we go, I think warily, standing up as Namjoon and Jungkook step out of the car. Namjoon waves at me as he walks over but Jungkook gets to me first, holding out a hand. “Dilara! Finally! It’s so nice to meet you - I’ve heard a lot about you,” he adds, looking over at Taehyung, who’s rolling his eyes.

“Nice to meet you, too,” I say absently, because Jeon Jungkook is even better looking in person than he is on screen. He flashes me a smile and I almost forget to breathe for a moment, but then he looks at Tae and laughs at something, nose scrunching up, and he suddenly reminds me of the puppies we’d been hanging out with an hour ago. 

Namjoon appears then and greets me with a nod and a smile, looking very tall and leader-like. His politeness is distinct, like he’s had a ton of practice at it. He asks me with a well-placed chuckle how we managed to get ourselves stranded in the middle of nowhere in the outskirts of Suzuka City. I start telling him that all Tae had to do was let me drive, but we get distracted by Jungkook running after him and leaping on his back. Taehyung catches him effortlessly and they begin laughing and joking around, too far for me to understand what they’re saying.

“Are they -” I start to ask but Namjoon beats me to it.

“Always,” he says knowingly. We all pile into the car after that, once Jungkook discovers that neither of us have eaten anything except a croissant hours ago. Namjoon gets into the drivers’ seat and, thankfully, Taehyung and Jungkook slide into the backseat, leaving the shotgun seat for me. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of sitting in the backseat alone with Tae while both his friends shot us side-eye glances trying to observe us. This way, those two have their fun giggling in the backseat while I’m up front with the most intimidating member of the band so far. 

We stop at the first fast food place we see, which ends up being a KFC. Once the three guys put on a variety of hats and hoodies, all four of us shuffle in and dive for the menu; when I realise that everything is written in Japanese, I have to rely on the boys to translate and order for me. Taehyung stands behind me at the counter, hands resting comfortably on my shoulders as he peers at the plastic menu over my head. I’m looking up at him and frowning, trying to decide whether to go for chicken or pork, when we’re interrupted by Namjoon who offers to order for all of us.

The food arrives almost immediately but when we look around and see the few other customers squinting slightly at the boys, almost as if they recognise them, we opt to head out and eat by the car. I walk with Namjoon; I discover pretty quickly that as much as my heart belongs to Taehyung, Namjoon is clearly the most interesting member. There’s something so mature, so intelligent, so attractive about him that I immediately feel like I should have been more prepared before meeting him.

It’s also clear that he knows his group members extremely well. The entire time as we walk back to the car, while he’s speaking to me, he’s also keeping a clear eye out on Taehyung as he talks with Jungkook. Even as we sit around the car and devour the food, I feel increasingly like I’m being vetted for the honour of being Taehyung’s… whatever I am. That throws me into a bit of a tangent as my mind instantly starts wondering what I am to him, what he is to me, what we’re doing, what we’re planning to do -

“You want to throw that away?” 

My head snaps up to see Taehyung to my left, two empty boxes and a cup of Coke in his hands. He points with the cup to the wrapper in my hand and tilts his head towards the trash can at the door of the restaurant. I take the hint and jump to my feet, so, so relieved at his arrival, and offer to take Namjoon’s wrappers with me as well. 

“So?” Tae asks as soon as we’re out of earshot. “Are they being nice to you?”

I scoff. “Of course they’re being nice. And Namjoon…” I glance back surreptitiously, “... God, he’s so cool. It’s like he knows everything about everything.” I look up to see Taehyung raising an eyebrow, looking amused.

“Should I be worried? Am I going to lose you to my fearless leader?” he asks dryly, just as we reach the trash. “Because I can take him. Probably.”

“Probably.”

Taehyung chuckles and, lightning fast, leans over and presses a quick kiss to my lips. Before I can react, he gestures for me to continue walking, smiling down at me as if nothing just happened, brushing a hand down my waist comfortingly as we start walking back. “They like you, too. At least Jungkook does. And I’m guessing Jimin, too, otherwise Jungkook wouldn’t have tagged along today.”

“Ah, good. My favourite and my second favourite,” I say, laughing when Tae scowls. We get into the car again, everyone in the same seats, and it’s barely a five minute drive when Jungkook states that he feels like dessert - and not just any dessert, but a specific Japanese sweet that they’d had the last time they were here. Both Namjoon and Taehyung agree immediately and we drive around looking for any passing store that might sell it.

When we finally do, Taehyung volunteers to get out and go buy them while the rest of us stay in the car. He takes our order (I decline since it’s a race weekend) and walks away towards the shop. I watch him - I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop - as he walks away, how he walks with his hands in his pockets, how his long hair brushes his t-shirt at the nape of his neck, how when he turns his head slightly to look for oncoming cars, his haughty features looking like a statue’s.

“He likes you,” says Namjoon from right next to me, almost scaring the shit out of me. I turn to him to see him looking back at me with a peculiar expression, part-knowing, part… approving? Before I can examine it deeper, Jungkook speaks from behind me.

“He really likes you,” he contributes, leaning forward so that his head appears in between our seats. “He usually never makes any effort with girls. Definitely doesn’t ditch us to hang out with one. I mean, you guys are even wearing matching outfits.”

I notice then that we are, kind of; white top and black bottoms, but I ignore this statement in favour of the one before. His words are practically identical to what Jimin had said to me earlier today. Like Jimin, Jungkook doesn’t sound miffed at all; on the contrary, he sounds almost wondrous, as though this series of events had never occurred to him. I can feel my palms getting clammy and the heat rushing to my face, so all I can say is, “Oh, did you - did you guys have - have plans today?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” says Namjoon dismissively, almost like he knows what I’m thinking. “It’s just good to see him like this. Happy,” he adds for my benefit, raising his eyebrows at Taehyung who’s now started walking back with a small stack of boxes the size of my phone.

Jungkook says something to Namjoon in Korean but I lose track. As I watch Tae walk towards us, I struggle for a moment to pinpoint why Namjoon and Jungkook’s words have suddenly made my insides tight. I should be happy, I suppose. I should, knowing that Taehyung likes me so much, that his closest friends in the world have noticed and more or less approved. But all that is overshadowed by the burning question of why? Why does he like me so much when we’ve only just met, when it’s been an unspoken cloud hanging over us reminding us that this weekend is all we have?

As he approaches, our gazes meet - and his eyes light up. It’s subtle, but it’s there and I know it is because even Jungkook behind me whispers wow before asking me if I’m sure that I don’t want one of the sweets. “Um… no, I - I prefer cupcakes,” is all I can manage to say before looking away from Tae. By the time he climbs into the backseat, I’m almost angry at him for making this so much harder.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to see Tae holding out an open box filled with what look like Reese’s peanut butter cups. His eyebrows are raised and the hand he’d tapped me with is still lingering against my bare arm, but I suddenly find it hard to look at him. So I shake my head and turn back to look ahead.

As we continue to drive, I find that I can’t look at anyone in the car; not at Taehyung who apparently likes me way more than he should, not Namjoon who seems to know way more than he should, and not Jungkook who definitely seems way more excited than he should be. Truth be told, I haven’t the faintest idea what to do with this information and I definitely have no idea what it is that Namjoon and Jungkook were trying to achieve by telling me. So I just stare out the window at the sky, the trees, road signs - anything to distract me.

“Dilara?” Taehyung saying my name sounds like a song again, like his favourite song in the world. “Any requests?”

It takes me a moment to realise he’s talking about the music in the car. “Um…” I turn slightly in the direction of the backseat and shake my head for a moment before looking back out the window. “Not really. Anything’s fine.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence where I can practically feel Taehyung’s confusion at my change in tone. He says something in Korean to the other two, almost accusingly, and while I don’t understand a word of the language, I imagine he’s going What did you two say to her? or something to that effect. I can’t really blame him because, let’s face it, had I been in a similar situation, that’s exactly what I would’ve asked. 

My theory is more or less confirmed when, after both mumble answers in equally confused tones, Namjoon looks over at me, asking, “You alright?”

I look back, not wanting to seem rude, and nod. “Yeah. Of course.” I force a smile but I don’t think anyone is fooled. It’s almost too convenient when just a few minutes later, we make our last stop of the drive at a gas station. I mention something about using the washroom and jump out of the car, breathing in the fresh air like my life depends on it.

All I really do, though, is head over the back of the station and lean back against a wall, wondering what the hell to do now and how I can manage to avoid Taehyung for the rest of the weekend when we literally live in the same hotel -

“Hey.”

My heart skips a beat when I see Tae walking towards me, hands in his pockets, long hair falling into his eyes, face as smooth and impassive as ever. I immediately turn towards the wash basin next to me and start washing my hands, letting my hair fall in front of my shoulders and shield my face. “Hey,” I say after a moment, cringing at how fake even the simplest word sounds.

He stops a few feet away from me. “So, uh. My friends told me what they said to you. That I like you." He doesn't stutter around the inadvertent confession. "And that they might have freaked you out.” He says no more, just waiting for me to confirm it.

I swallow, wiping my hands on my leggings and still not looking at him. “Not exactly.”

“Then what is it? Dilara,” he says when I don’t respond. I finally sigh and look him in the eye, suddenly feeling guilty at shutting him out. He looks at me expectantly, perfect features betraying only the slightest bit of concern. “Tell me.”

I bite my lip and look at the ground, wondering how to word this without making it a bigger deal than it is. “You know we can’t… you know that nothing else can happen, right?”

“I know.” His response is immediate, accompanied by a small shrug, confirming that he does indeed know that nothing else can happen. And why shouldn’t he? With my calendar, his job, and both our careers in front of us, of course he knows that nothing can happen.

“Then… why do you like me so much?”

Taehyung’s expression doesn’t change much, except for a small frown. Hands still in his pockets, he shrugs again. “Since when can anyone control how they feel?” He says it like the most obvious thing in the world and all of a sudden, I feel ridiculous. The affection and adoration in his eyes is clear even to me and I can’t believe I’ve just spent the last thirty minutes essentially icing him out, especially when I know we don’t have much time.

“Not me,” I admit quietly, looking at the ground and then back up at him.

His mouth moves just a bit, giving me a small smile. “Look, I know it’s scary and it’ll be… hard, when it finally happens.” Neither of us needs to elaborate on what ‘it’ is. “But today’s not goodbye. We’ll - we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, alright?”

I look away and nod, taking a couple of steps towards him. He meets me halfway and raises one hand to brush my arm comfortingly as his gaze drops to my mouth and back up to me, as though asking for permission. He lowers his head slightly and pauses, waiting for me to confirm that it’s all good. I get on the tips of my toes and kiss him, feeling him kiss me back immediately. It’s a nice, comforting kiss. For about a second.

He moves his hand to my waist just to steady me but it’s right at that moment that I open my mouth slightly, his tongue slips in and I moan softly, making his grip on my waist tighten. All it takes is one look between us before Taehyung has me pinned against the wall, kissing me fiercely and holding me flush against him. My hands go into his long hair and I pull at it, and Tae bites my lower lip. I snake one hand down between us and loop one finger in his belt loop and tug, feeling his pelvis against mine. His erection rubs against my core and I sigh, ready for him to fuck me right here and now. Taehyung’s hand slips down my waist, down my hip and to my arse when -

“Oi! We’re in public!” Namjoon’s furious whisper makes us jerk apart immediately and look around to see if we’ve been spotted. Fortunately, there isn’t anyone around but even I can’t believe how risky that was. That’s hot. Yes, it is, especially when I look up at Tae to see him looking right back at me, panting slightly, lips swollen and eyebrows together, looking pissed that we were caught. 

We trail quietly behind Namjoon to the car and get into our seats. While Namjoon looks exasperated as hell, Jungkook can't look either of us in the eye. My face feels so hot that I can’t look at either of them. I can’t look at Taehyung either, but that’s for a whole different reason. As we drive back with nothing but the radio providing any sound, I look out the window, trying not to think about what just transpired and what is sure to be replicated later today.

I count myself lucky; technically, I can think about whatever I want with no one the wiser. Taehyung on the other hand, can’t think of shit without an erection appearing for his friends and the world to see. I can hear Jungkook murmuring in Korean and Tae responding with short, abrupt replies. Our eyes meet in the wing mirror constantly, both of us now knowing what we want and how soon we want it.

It’s a quarter to four by the time we reach the hotel. If I have any hope of making it to PR on time, I have to leave now. I hop out of the car after Namjoon parks and fluff my hair out, checking for my bag and phone before I head out.

“Hey,” says Taehyung, coming up behind me. I turn to see the other two waiting by the car, trying to pretend like they aren’t paying any attention to us. Evidently, Tae’s noticed them too, for he glances back at them before turning back to me. “Do you have to leave now?”

“Yeah. Thankfully it’s happening here at the hotel, so we don’t have to drive to the paddock.” I bite my lip and say no more. This is the awkward part. How do two people who aren’t dating, who’ve literally just met, who aren’t even friends, say goodbye to each other? 

“So, I’ll, uh…”

Taehyung nods, taking my hand and linking his fingers with mine. “Yeah, I’ll see you later,” he agrees. I have the strongest urge to brush his long, thick hair out of his eyes, but I’m afraid it’ll be too intimate here. Taehyung sneaks another look back at his friends, who are now not even pretending to give us privacy, before rolling his eyes and quickly kissing me on the cheek.

I try to fight a smile as I shake my head and leave. I rush to the poolside after that where our thing is supposed to be taking place. Jenna from the PR team is waiting for me at a small makeshift energy station with a transparent pouch filled with make-up products and a hair straightener, heated and ready to go. 

Max arrives halfway in and Vicki briefs us both about the game while Max sips on water out of a Red Bull can and I sit painfully straight as locks of my hair fall in soft waves down my shoulders. Jehan and Pierre arrive soon after, everyone in their team hoodies. Jenna is holding up a mirror while I apply a nice brick shade of lipstick when Vicki suddenly exclaims that I’m not in Red Bull gear.

It seems to have occurred to everyone only now, five minutes before the interview. I’m still in a plain white top; I’m about to mention that I probably have an extra team t-shirt in my bag when Max tosses me his hoodie, saying with a very Max smugness that he’s not feeling cold at all. I give him a look but put the hoodie on anyway, kind of liking how nice and oversized it is.

All four of us are seated around a small poolside table, chatting as the production team sets lights and mics around us. I go onto my phone for a moment, secretly hoping for a text from Taehyung. There isn’t one, which is to be expected, so in a rare moment of initiative I text him. I send him the video I’d taken of him earlier today from the ground along with the message Thanks for today, I had a great time.

He replies almost immediately with Day’s not over ;), along with a picture. I download it and need to bite down on my lip from smiling. It’s a picture of me at the dog farm with the puppies: I’m lying on the grass upside down, two labradors clambering onto me, with my hair all dark and wavy on the grass, smiling with genuine happiness and cuddling a third puppy as I look into the camera - as I look at Taehyung.

I’m about to respond with a quick ‘thanks’ but instead, he sends a second picture, then a third, and then about ten more, all of us today with the puppies, strolling the streets together, piggybacking down the canopy. There’s one of us that he sends at the end, a few moments after the others, of us walking together. It’s obviously taken by someone else - most likely Jungkook; I realise it’s from when we’d both volunteered to chuck everyone’s trash after lunch. We’re just walking back, looking at each other, with Tae’s hand disappearing behind me.

I zoom in. I hadn’t even noticed that his hand had been on my back; in fact, it doesn’t even seem as though he’s conscious of it. It looks so natural; even the fact that we are indeed wearing very similar clothes doesn’t escape me this time. We’re walking close together - very close. I remember feeling his chest brush against my arm, feeling his fingers linger on my elbow - but I hadn’t thought about how it would look. We look like a -

“Alright, everyone ready?” 

PR forces me to abandon my train of thought and focus. It takes us about an hour and a half; it’s fun, no doubt. All four of us get along pretty well and the games include a Q&A type and a taste test of Japanese cuisine. By the end of it, after it’s confirmed that there’s no drivers’ briefing today, we start to head back into the hotel. I check my phone (not eagerly) to see a message from Taehyung. Ignoring the leap in my chest, I open it.

Once you’re done, come over to 2006.

two hotel rooms

I halt. Now I have no way of knowing who lives in 2006; for all I know, it’s just Taehyung’s room and he’s calling me over for tons of passionate sex after a day of teasing and yearning. If that’s what it is, I’m on board. 

But there’s something about the text that makes me think that that’s not all that it is. I try to figure it out; after a couple of minutes, I decide it’s not flirty enough. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered about Kim Taehyung in the last twenty-four hours, it’s that he’s smooth as shit. If he were inviting me over to fuck, I have no doubt that I’d be dripping by the time I got to his door. 

I have to ask. But not too pointedly. My fingers hover over the screen as I chew at my lower lip before finally typing out a response. What’s in 2006?

Taehyung replies in under a minute. Food and stuff. 

I frown, having learnt nothing from this incredibly vague text. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s being vague on purpose. I replay the events of today in my head, specifically the moments I spent with Jimin, Namjoon and Jungkook. I remember them looking at me like a specimen they never saw coming, but I also remember the huge, boxy smile on Tae’s face each time I joked with any of them. 

I exhale. Spending a Friday evening hanging out with members of BTS: it’s a goddamn dream - for some. I know of millions of people around the world who’d literally murder me to take my place. But nothing about it is exciting me; in fact, I think this is the most stressed I've been all weekend.

I briefly consider making an excuse. Tomorrow is Qualifying after all; I can sneak away to hang out with the other drivers while they obsess over FIFA, dull as it sounds. But I do want to see Taehyung again, so badly. I finally make my way up to the twentieth floor, the entire time debating the possible outcomes of this situation in my head, before I reach the room. I can hear muffled noises from inside, both music and voices. I find I can’t physically press the doorbell, so I text Tae instead.

I’m outside. Can you come out here for a second?

Ten seconds later, the door opens and Taehyung steps out, still in the same white t-shirt and jeans, black hair thick and long, looking so incredible that I have to consciously try not to launch myself at him. His face automatically breaks into a smile at the sight of me and my heart skips a beat.

“Hey,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets and stopping a couple of feet in front of me. “Everything okay? Oh, hey, your hair is different,” he comments, taking a straightened lock in between his fingers.

“Yeah, for PR. Um…” I take a deep breath, folding my arms across my chest nervously. “Who else is in there?”

Taehyung glances back at the room and when he turns back to me, it’s clear that he’s immediately caught on to what’s bothering me. “It’s six of my friends.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “Really. Exactly six?” 

He smiles, knowing I’m not fooled. “It’ll be fine. They’re looking forward to meeting you,” he says, dropping all pretense.

That doesn’t make me feel better at all. My face must show this, for he immediately comes up to me and places his hands on my shoulder. “Dilara, there’s no pressure. You don’t have to. But…” He shrugs. “It’ll be fun.” When I don’t respond, he squeezes my shoulders gently. “Come on, you’ve already met most of them and it’s been fine. Right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” I say honestly. The only ones I actually haven’t met at all have been Hoseok and Yoongi, but meeting all of them together? But I can’t say no to Tae, not when he looks this hopeful. “Just… just six friends, right?”

“Right. Oh, wait, Jimin and Jungkook are at the gym, so it’s really only four,” he adds helpfully.

I frown incredulously. “Jungkook is the one person I actually know in there.”

Taehyung bites his lip and holds his arms out wordlessly. I take the hint and step in, wrapping my arms around his waist as he hugs me back, head resting against mine and rubbing my shoulder with one hand. “If you really don’t want to, you don’t have to,” he says softly.

I say nothing, revelling instead in his scent and the feel of his lean torso and strong arms around me. This is our first hug, I realise, and I hold him a bit tighter, resting my forehead on his shoulder. “You’ll be there the whole time?” I murmur into his t-shirt.

I can feel him smile as he nods. “The whole time,” he confirms. “Until we leave, that is. Which will be… early?" he guesses.

That makes me laugh. I step back and ruffle his hair affectionately. “Sure. As long as you stay by my side.” I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back. “Let’s do this.”

Tae rolls his eyes at my theatrics but I see him smile again and it’s all worth it. He rings the doorbell and Namjoon opens it, immediately noticing me and greeting me loudly. “Oh, hey. Hey, Dilara’s here,” he calls out, beckoning me inside and shutting the door behind me. “There’s food and… well, tons of gummy bears on the table,” he adds, pointing at the coffee table.

I step in to see Seokjin on the phone in the corner of the room, Yoongi and Hoseok in front of the television, the latter laughing his head off at something before noticing me. All of them wave and call me over just as the doorbell rings again. While Jin waves at me with his free hand, we both turn to see Jimin entering, hair wet and newly washed, smelling like strawberries. The moment he sees me, his eyes widen and he turns to Taehyung, who’s standing with his back against the wall and watching me, with an impressed look and a wide smile before coming over to me.

“Hey, what’s Verst- oh, Max Verstappen?” Namjoon’s voice from behind me makes me do a double take. I turn to see him pointing at my torso and I realise he’s talking about the hoodie I’m wearing, the one that has Max’s name printed on the back.

“Hey, it’s good to see you again,” he says easily, hugging me around the waist as if we’ve known each other for ages. Jungkook follows close behind, waving enthusiastically before his gaze shifts to Namjoon and he says something. Within seconds of meeting me, everyone simply goes back to their own conversations.

“Oh, yeah,” I answer, tugging at the hoodie. “I had to borrow his hoodie for PR. I left mine in your car,” I tell Taehyung. There’s a short but unmissable moment where everyone’s eyes flit to Tae, with Jimin and Jungkook clearly fighting smiles and Yoongi rolling his eyes. But I’m only looking at Taehyung, who’s still standing against the wall with his hands in his pockets. His face is still the same, smooth and perfect with the small smile as he watches me interact with his bandmates, but I swear I can see his chin tilt up and jaw harden for just a moment. 

Fortunately, at that moment the doorbell buzzes again and he goes to get it, and everything seems to go back to normal. I take a step back and go to stand next to Namjoon who’s helping himself to a sushi roll, an exasperated smile lingering on his face. “Um,” I begin in a low voice, “what was that?”

His smile gets just a bit wider as he looks up at Taehyung across the room before looking back down at me. “Nothing. Just Taehyung… and his jealous tendencies,” he says, chuckling quietly. With a knowing raise of the eyebrows, he sweeps past me and heads towards the TV.

It turns out Namjoon is bang-on. When Tae returns, he looks like his normal self, coming back up to me with the same small smile and asking me if I’m okay. Jungkook and Jin join us and even as everyone continues talking, I feel Tae move to stand closer to me, sliding a hand down my waist to rest low on my hip. It’s subtle but I can feel a heat between my legs. I decide to experiment.

“Oh, I should text Max and tell him I have his hoodie,” I say nonchalantly, tapping my phone on but keeping all my attention on Taehyung. He doesn’t disappoint. I’ve barely opened my chat with Max as Jin and Jungkook drift away, telling us to come to the TV, when Tae casually moves to stand behind me. Both his hands are low on my hips now as he looks over my shoulder. For a moment I think he’s looking into my phone, but the next second his lips are at my ear, brushing against my hair.

“Hey.” His voice almost makes my knees buckle. It’s the deep, low baritone that I’ve come to know and be obsessed with over the years but hearing it this close while his fingers grip my hips and his pelvis brushes against mine, and especially when I can hear that slight edge in his voice, I know this is what I’ve been waiting for. “Come sit with me?”

I literally cannot think of words. Instantly forgetting all about Max, I follow Kim Taehyung to the couch where everybody else is. It’s a k-drama; I don’t recognise it, but whoever has the remote immediately turns on the English subtitles when I automatically take a seat on the floor next to Jungkook, the one person apart from Namjoon I’m slightly comfortable with at this point. Taehyung, after repeatedly offering me the one empty spot on the sofa, sits right behind me and I lean back against his legs as I try to catch up.

There’s no spotlight on me, thankfully; they don’t go out of their way to include me in conversation but they don’t ignore me either, and it ends up being just the right balance. Jimin comes after a while to sit on my other side, smiling so prettily at me that it feels like my heart will stop. 

Sometime later the doorbell rings with a package for Park Jimin; everyone turns to see him holding a pink cardboard box that I recognise as the hotel bakery’s. To my surprise, he comes straight back and places it in front of me. He opens it with a flourish to reveal six cupcakes, each with a different coloured frosting on it. “For you,” he says proudly.

It takes me a moment to realise he’s talking to me. “M-me?”

“Yeah, Jungkook told me you like them.”

Before I can ask, Jungkook shrugs on my other side. “You didn’t have dessert with us and you said you liked cupcakes.”

It’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me which is why, even though I can’t eat sugar due to it being a race weekend, I pick one up and take a bite. It’s really good; I almost consider risking it and eating the whole thing but I know Lexie would end me, so I just take a second bite and turn around to offer one to Taehyung. It’s just an excuse, though; the gesture is so unexpected that I just want to share it with him - do your friends really like me? His eyebrow raise and secret smile answers it - I told you they like you - as he takes a bite from the cupcake in my hand. By the time I’ve turned around, all the other boys are helping themselves which is just as well.

“It’s amazing,” I tell Jimin, trying to ignore the heat rising in my cheeks when he flashes me another winning smile. “Thank you.”

Nearly an hour later, after everyone has moved on from watching TV, I notice that I’ve lost track of time completely. I’ve been sitting at one of the smaller coffee tables with Jin who, after having informed me that I’ve been using chopsticks wrong my entire life, is attempting to teach me how to use it right. I look up for a moment to see Taehyung sitting on the window seat with Namjoon and Hoseok, while Jungkook lounges on his lap and scrolls through his phone. 

By the time Jin finally succeeds in teaching me a crude version of chopsticks usage, we’ve both devoured two boxes of maki - the only thing I know Lexie will be okay with me overindulging on on a race weekend. Jin leans back in his chair and sighs loudly and my eyes automatically find Taehyung again. He’s in the same place but Jungkook is no longer in his lap. Instead, Tae is leaning back against the window, one arm resting above his head while the other holds his phone, and his legs are spread out again, as though inviting me to come sit on his lap. His gaze meets mine right then and he gives me the tiniest smirk, almost as if he knows what I’m thinking.

I shake my head just as Namjoon joins us. “Aren’t you warm?” he asks, sitting on the arm of Jin’s chair and popping a gummy bear into his mouth. 

I frown and look down, realising that I’m still in Max’s hoodie and something clicks. “Oh… I hadn’t noticed.” Hesitating for a moment, I take it off the second I see that Taehyung’s looking. As expected, the smirk gets wider, as though he’s suddenly happier… or satisfied.

It’s so hot - and adorable - that it occurs to him to be jealous. It’s past nine now, which means I’m almost done with twenty-four hours of waiting since meeting Kim Taehyung before I can officially start to pursue him. My thoughts are getting dirtier by the minute and I’m just waiting for a signal from him that it’s okay to leave. 

Ten minutes pass and nothing changes. Taehyung’s still sitting with his lap looking inviting as hell and all my attempts at walking across the room, touching Jungkook’s shoulder and even wrapping Max’s discarded hoodie around my shoulders don’t work. Finally, when Tae’s alone at the food table, I fall back to Plan A.

I come up from behind him and run my hands up his arms casually, resting them on his biceps. The moment I touch them, I feel the familiar heat between my legs again. Focus, Komyshan. Tae turns slightly to see me behind him, head lingering next to his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says, voice deep and sexy as ever.

“Hey. So, um…” I move closer to him, not wanting anyone to overhear, “Tomorrow is Qualifying and I have to be well-rested and up early, so…”

It takes him exactly half a second to catch my drift and another to drop the gummy bears in his hand back into the box. He turns to face me, leaning back against the table. “So…?”

He wants me to say it. Sneaky little shit. Taehyung’s casual confidence coupled with his laidback position, not to mention that goddamn smirk, makes me want to simultaneously choke him and ask him to -

“So… I should head out,” I tell him, mimicking his nonchalance.

“You’re leaving?”

“Mhm. Long day tomorrow.”

“Sounds like you should be good and tired to get a good night’s sleep.”

“I think I can figure something out.”

Taehyung’s jaw clenches slightly again and I know it’s working. “I thought we had some… alone time planned.”

“I don’t want to take you away from your friends,” I tell him. “And besides…” I take a small step closer to him “... I’m not really sure what to expect during… alone time.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond. Or rather, he doesn't respond with words. Instead, his smirk gets just a bit more pronounced and he just continues looking at me, almost like he’s picturing it. Just when I feel like he’s literally undressing me with his eyes, he gives me a small shrug and an innocent smile. “Whatever you want.”

Aaaand we’re done. I want a lot - but I’m not about to tell him that. “Good. So it’s settled, then?” When he doesn’t say anything, I play my last card. “Or you can stay and I can just go take care of it myself.”

All vestiges of a smile leave Taehyung’s face. He grabs my wrist with one hand and his black hoodie with the other and turns to his friends with a completely normal expression. There’s a general dry outcry that we’re leaving so soon, followed by Jimin yelling something in Korean and everyone laughing. I look up at Tae to see him avoiding their eyes and fighting a smile when Jin shouts “Have a good night!” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes and waves to them as we head out the door. Just to add to the drama, I pull him out by the hand, walking backwards and winking at the boys as the door closes behind him.

The walk back to my room is a blur. All I know is that we’re hurrying as much as we can, taking great pains to not draw any attention to ourselves until my room finally comes into view. My keycard is ready in my hand and I can feel Taehyung’s hand hovering over my lower back and I know he’s desperately resisting the urge to touch me until we’re inside. The second my door opens, I turn around and walk backwards, not bothering to turn on any lights other than the dim ones already on. The door closes behind him and I immediately hook my fingers around his belt loops and pull him towards me the same moment that his hands go up to my face and he lowers his head and kisses me.

“Finally,” he murmurs against my lips, echoing my exact thoughts, reaching one hand into my hair and pulling me closer to him with the other on my waist. Why haven’t I realised until now just how tall he is? Or how lean his torso is, or how his arms feel like the steadiest things I’ve ever felt around me? I open my mouth to let him in and sigh into the kiss, unable to help myself. I run one hand through his hair, his long, thick, sexy hair, and pull, making him grunt and move his hand down my waist and hips to my arse.

“Clothes off,” I say softly, pulling away for the briefest moment to take my top off over my head. Taehyung does the same with his t-shirt and I realise that seeing Taehyung with an unbuttoned shirt last night came nowhere close to seeing him like this, half-naked in the semi-darkness with a look of hunger in his eyes as I look right at him and unhook my bra, letting it fall on the floor next to him.

He has me pulled flush against him in a moment, kissing me harder than ever. Our hands are everywhere and our kisses are all lips and tongue and teeth; an entire day’s worth of tension and longing has finally come forth and neither of us are willing to waste even a single moment of it. My hands travel down to his jeans and I begin unbuttoning them, brushing against his hard abdomen, before I slip one hand in and feel his erection through the fabric of his boxers. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, grabbing me even harder and moving  us to the couch where I push him down and climb on to straddle him, lowering my head to kiss him again. Without thinking, I roll my hips forward and he groans into my mouth, pulling away and resting his head back against the sofa for a moment. I look at him - no, I gaze at him, never ever wanting to forget this sight. His hair is falling into his eyes, his jaw is clenched and mouth parted slightly as he catches his breath. 

Taehyung kisses me again, moving his lips down my jaw and to my neck, immediately finding the exact spot just below my ear that drives me crazy. He sucks on it as one hand moves to cup my breast, the other firm on my hip. I bite my lip to stop myself moaning too loudly, clutching at his hair and feeling his erection harden even more against me. 

“Fuck, Tae,” I whisper. I need him now. He feels so right against me that I find myself not even caring if I’m being too obvious about how much I want him. I palm him through his boxers and he groans again.

“Shit, Dilara,” he mumbles against my collarbone. “God, I need you, I -”

I pull away to stand up and peel off my leggings, standing in front of him in nothing but my underwear. His eyes rake over my entire body and I revel in it. I take a step forward and he reaches for me but instead of straddling him again, I drop to my knees in front of him.

Taehyung bites his lower lip. “Dilara -”

“I want to,” I interrupt him, reaching for his erection. His eyes shut involuntarily but he opens them again.

“You - you really don’t have to -”

“I know,” I tell him and look him in the eye. “I’ll stop if you want me to… but I don’t want to.”

He shakes his head. “Fuck, where have you been all my life?” he sighs.

I grin and reach for his jeans, pulling them down. He raises his pelvis off the couch so I can take them off completely along with his boxers. His erection springs free and my eyes widen at his size. I just know my jaw is going to get a workout from hell and just the thought of it makes me so fucking wet that I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke him once.

Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut immediately and he swears, his back against the couch and his hands clutching the fabric of the seat. I run my tongue along his tip and continue stroking him, watching him the whole time as he slowly comes undone. Somewhere along the way, I link my fingers with his and squeeze his hand. His eyes open to meet mine and he gets the hint, reaching for my hair and grabbing it hard. I moan in sweet pain and he swears again, getting close. I suck him off until my jaw hurts, until he’s louder than I’ve ever heard him and he finally finishes in my mouth, warm fluid coating my tongue as I continue stroking him slower now, letting him ride out his high.

I pull away, swallowing and wiping my mouth as he gets his bearings back. He opens his eyes and looks down at me with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. “Come here,” he says softly, helping me back up onto his lap. I straddle him again and he kisses me, deep and long, holding my face in one hand and pulling me close to him with the other. His hand is big and flat on my back as I kiss him back, wanting him, needing him so badly.

Almost as though he’s read my mind, he suddenly stands up and, without breaking a sweat, carries me straight to the bed and drops me on it. He comes up to kiss me once, biting my lower lip softly, before moving down to my neck. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby,” he murmurs in my ear. He runs one hand down my torso and abdomen to reach my core and presses against the cloth. His sharp intake of breath tells me that he can feel just how wet I am. 

He pulls my underwear off and, before I know it, sinks one finger into my folds. I whimper; it feels so fucking good, finally, finally, to have him inside of me like I’ve been thinking about all day. He slips another finger in and my back arches. “Fuck, fuck,” I moan, clutching my pillow as my knees bend automatically.

Taehyung grunts softly and kisses me, his long hair falling into his eyes and onto my forehead. “Can you take another for me, baby?”

“Yes,” I say immediately, biting my lip in anticipation as he slips a third finger into me. His thumb goes to massage my clit and I’m so close, so close… “God, Tae, I’m gonna -”

And I do. It’s like an explosion when I finally come and feel him slow his fingers down slightly as he lets me ride out my high. I open my eyes slowly to see Taehyung watching me, eyes blazing and jaw clenched, biting down on his bottom lip. He lowers his head to give me a quick kiss before his eyes flash. “Think you have one more in you?” he asks as he moves lower down my body and settles between my legs. He kisses my inner thigh before running his tongue along my folds but I know I can’t take this anymore.

“Taehyung,” I whisper, sitting up on my elbows, “I can’t. I just want… I just want you. Now.”

“Are you sure? I just want to make you feel good,” he says, frowning with what I realise is concern. “I don’t - I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Mm, you won’t. Please, Tae,” I add, and apparently that’s what works. Taehyung kisses my inner thigh once again before he gets off the bed and goes to pick up his discarded jeans next to the couch. I can’t help but just stare at him as he does, long hair and lean body completely on display. Just for me, I think. Mine.

He returns with a condom and a smirk. “Always ready,” he quips, making me laugh. He puts it on and climbs on top of me, lining himself up at my entrance. Brushing my bangs off my forehead, he asks, “You’ll tell me if it hurts?”

“I will,” I promise, reaching up to kiss his jaw. Tae nods and enters me slowly; both of us groan in pleasure and I fall back on the bed, opening my legs further and taking him in until he bottoms out. He’s big - that I knew the moment I’d taken off his boxers. It hurts, but not in a bad way. Another sigh escapes my lips as he pulls out to enter me again, and again, until we establish a rhythm.

“Fuck, Dilara, you feel so good, baby,” groans Taehyung, dropping his head onto my shoulder as he goes faster. I grip his bicep and wrap my leg around him to pull him in as he turns to capture my lips in his. I kiss him back; it’s messy and desperate and full of sighs and moans as he goes even faster. His hand comes up to grip my breast, lips still against mine, and I clutch at his shoulder, feeling my nails dig into his skin.

“Oh, my -” I can’t even finish my sentence before he hits the spot and I hit my second orgasm of the night, so much louder this time as I fall back on the bed again. Taehyung’s still going but I can tell he’s close by the way his grunts are getting louder and his jaw is clenching harder. It’s another ten seconds before he slams into me a final time and finishes inside the condom, supporting himself with his hands flat on the bed.

We stay there for a few seconds, both breathing in what just happened. Then, Taehyung raises his head to look at me and presses a soft kiss to my mouth before climbing off me and going out to dispose of the condom. He comes back in a few seconds, beautifully naked, and climbs back onto the bed next to me. We lie there in comfortable silence, our hands intertwined between us, while I think about how we were lying exactly like this just last night on a hotel rooftop when we’d met for the first time.

As the high slowly dissipates, I feel goosebumps erupt on my arm from the AC. Taehyung notices too, and wraps an arm gently around my waist. “Cold?” he asks, kissing my shoulder.

“Just a bit,” I answer, turning onto my side and kissing him. He kisses me back and, contrary to the roughness of what just happened, this is slower, deeper, almost loving. I brush my thumb across his cheekbones as he pulls me closer, eventually pulling me on top of him. Straddling him again, I pull away and sit up, getting my first good look at Kim Taehyung, naked. In my bed.

He’s beautiful. Unlike Jungkook who’s all bulk and muscle, Tae is much leaner, like a tennis player or a Formula 1 driver even. His torso is long and slender, while his collarbones arch to become lean biceps, sinewy forearms and slender fingers currently resting on my thighs. I look up to meet his eyes again to see him smirking up at me, like he knows exactly what I’m doing.

“This is my favourite hair on you,” I tell him, brushing his bangs out of his eyes slightly. He flicks his hair back as though out of habit. “Black… suits you.”

“Yeah?” His hands rise up to rest on my hips. “Just black?”

“The grey is a close second,” I agree after a moment. “The dark blond, too.” The fact of the matter is that Taehyung looks fantastic no matter what his hair looks like, but I can’t tell him that. He’s looking at me far too intensely; it’s making my face heat up. I suddenly feel conscious; he’s too gorgeous himself to be looking at me with this much reverence. “I need to… clean up,” I say finally, climbing off him and the bed, gathering my hair and slipping on my underwear as I search the floor for something to wear.

“My t-shirt’s right there,” he says, apparently knowing what I’m doing. I turn to see him watching me with a content smile, hands behind his head. Wordlessly, I pick it up and put it on, waving to him as I walk into the bathroom and close it behind me. 

Once I’m in, I lean against the door and exhale. I can still smell him on me, on my skin, on his white t-shirt that reaches the tops of my thighs. I shut my eyes; it’s not that I can’t believe I just had sex with V of BTS - it’s that I can, even though just twenty-four hours ago, I was at a BTS backstage party waiting for him to just talk to me. I turn my head to look at the mirror and wince as I move closer. 

My hair is a mess - no surprise there, considering how much Tae kept running his hands through it, tangling it and pulling at it. My stomach leaps at the memory of it. My lipstick, which had stayed through the entire time I’d been with the band, has now finally disappeared as well - no surprise there either. Moving closer, I brush my hair off my neck to inspect the most critical aspect of our session; I can’t stop a smile from appearing on my face. At the side of my neck, a couple inches below my ear, is a brand new hickey, blooming red and big.

I touch it gingerly and, almost as if it’s a signal, my inner thigh tingles. I know what it is before I’ve checked; right on the inside of my left thigh, barely three inches below my crotch are two smaller hickeys. When I check, there’s another on my right. 

He’s marked me, I realise. The thought makes me feel strangely reassured. It doesn’t feel aggressive or possessive; if anything, it gives off a sense of… desperation, almost. As though he doesn’t want to miss the chance to prove that I’m -

“No,” I whisper out loud. I can’t let my thoughts go down this road, not tonight. I close my eyes, forcing myself to think about literally anything else, when I hear a soft humming of Tu les garçons et les filles again.

He’s on the bed where I’d left him, but he’s put on his boxers and is scrolling through his phone. The moment he sees me, he ceases humming and his face breaks out into the same boxy smile that regularly breaks millions of hearts around the world. 

“Don’t stop,” I tell him, climbing onto the bed next to him and settling down on my stomach. “Sounded nice.”

Tae raises his eyebrows. “Yeah? You like it?”

“I always like hearing you sing,” I say honestly, my heart skipping a beat when he smiles and drops his gaze. “What? That can’t be the first time someone complimented your voice.”

“It’s not,” he admits, “but people usually prefer Jungkook or Jimin.” He says it in a matter-of-fact tone.

I shrug. “Yours is the sexiest.” He smirks, like I knew he would. When I bite my lip and raise an eyebrow, it widens into a grin.

“Will I get to see you drive tomorrow?” he asks, tugging on the ends of my hair.

“Definitely. I don’t see how they can postpone anything any further even if it pours all day,” I add, resting my head on my hands and looking up at him. “I really hope it doesn’t, though. We only get one practice session and Suzuka is hard enough for a rookie without the track being wet.”

Taehyung frowns but doesn’t say anything, brushing the back of his hand light against my cheek. My eyes flutter shut for a moment at his touch as I try to savour it as much as I can and not think about tomorrow. I’m just about to ask him if he wants to switch on some music - anything to get me to stop stressing before I really start stressing - when my phone pings, first once and then in a succession of pings.

I raise my head and turn around to the backpack I’ve been carrying around all day. I get up, leaving Tae lying on the bed, and retrieve it to see a series of messages from Lexie, all apologising for being MIA all day because of her food poisoning and that she hopes I’m ready for tomorrow. I text her back immediately, telling her to chill, when I see a notification from Max pop up just as a pair of arms wrap around my waist and my back meets a nice, warm, naked chest.

Taehyung lowers his head onto my shoulder and presses a kiss to the side of my neck, his long hair tickling my cheek. “Dilara,” he says quietly, and it sounds like his favourite song in the world. “Dilara,” he says again, this time in a whisper, grazing my ear with his teeth. My breathing stutters a bit but I don’t want him to stop; I close my eyes and sink back into him, tilting my head slightly to give him better access. I feel his breath on my ear and shiver.

“Do you want to order some food?”

My eyes snap open and I snicker, elbowing him in the ribs and pulling away. He laughs his deep, open laugh and I swoon - internally, of course. “I can’t eat anymore,” I tell him, shaking my head and leaning against the table. “I’m driving tomorrow so I have to, you know. Stay light.”

Tae nods understandingly. “Alright, I’ll just get food for me. Is that alright?”

“No, you are forbidden from eating if I’m not.”

“Hilarious. Oh, can you have ice cream?” he suggests. “Come on, who can say no to ice cream?”

I scoff. “All twenty of us getting into a car tomorrow. Food is bad enough, but sugar is absolutely the worst. Why do you think I said no to dessert in the car today?”

He frowns. “But… you ate the cupcakes,” he points out. “Why -”

I give him a look. “Well, firstly, I actually only had, like, two bites. I strategically offered bites to you and Jimin and Jungkook by which time the rest of you had finished the box. And secondly… well, of course I ate them. Jimin was so nice to get them for me,” I add, looking at the floor self-consciously. “Actually, why was he being so nice?”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow, clearly knowing what I want him to admit. “You ate the cupcake even though you’re not supposed to be eating sugar. Why were you being so nice?”

“Fair enough.”

He simply grins. “That’s me. I think Jimin likes you, though. He’s such a… how do you say it? Flirt?”

I laugh. “He’s cute. And, you know, my favourite member.”

Taehyung gives me an unimpressed look as my phone pings again and I go back to checking my messages. They’re mostly from Lexie and Christian, the latter of whom has sent me a screenshot of some data from last year’s race in Suzuka. 

“Something wrong?” Taehyung asks, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my shoulders, kissing my cheek with ease, as though he does it all the time.

“No,” I sigh, “just stuff to look over for tomorrow.” I try to keep the anxiety out of my voice but I know I haven’t succeeded. Instead of random encouragement, Tae just holds me a bit tighter and rests his head on my shoulder, swaying slightly to the music. I close my eyes and sink back into him, gripping his arms and swaying along.

“I dare you to do something!” We sing together all of a sudden and I turn around to see him singing just as dramatically as I am. He takes my hand and, just like earlier today, spins me and pulls me in by my waist and we sing the entire chorus and the next verse together until his long hair in his eyes and broad shoulders get too much for me and I get up on my tiptoes, wrap my arms around his neck, and try to kiss him.

Except I don’t reach.

It seems to take Taehyung a moment to realise what I was trying to do before he bursts out laughing. He overdoes it for sure, even when I pick up my t-shirt from the floor and throw it at him. “You’re so cute,” he tells me, smiling fondly and coming up to me to wrap his arms around my waist even as I half-heartedly try to push him off. He lowers his head and kisses me and, without warning, places a hand under my thigh and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist out of instinct as he turns around and takes me back to the bed. I’m on my back for just a few seconds before I flip us over and straddle him.

“My turn,” I tell him, flipping my hair over my shoulders and bending over him, tucking my hair behind my ears just as my phone rings. I groan and drop my head onto his shoulder before I climb off, chuckling at his protests. I pick up the call to hear Max Verstappen’s voice.

“This better be really important,” I state, placing a hand on my hip and looking back at Tae apologetically.

“It is,” says Max confidently. He sounds like he’s with someone when he says, “You want to go get a snack from the restaurant? It’s probably empty by now.”

I frown incredulously. This is important? “I’m, uh…” I trail off, turning and looking at Taehyung again, who’s now lounging on the bed looking like a Greek statue. I get the overwhelming urge to run my tongue up his lean, hard torso and force myself to focus. “... busy.”

I can almost hear Max raising an eyebrow skeptically. “Busy?”

“Yes. Very.”

“Like last night kind of busy?”

“Alright, Verstappen, I’ll see you tomorrow morning at breakfast. Bye,” I say loudly, interrupting his joking response. I shake my head and turn around to see Taehyung now off the bed and walking towards me.

“Hey,” he says, kissing me quickly on the mouth, “do you mind if I take a quick shower? I mean, I could go back to my room and do it and then come back to -”

“Go take a shower, Tae,” I say, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek, and smacking his arse for good measure. He laughs and disappears into the bathroom while I settle on the couch in Tae’s hoodie that’s lying on the table and open up Christian’s messages.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m going through the last one, my laptop open on my side with a picture of the track on full screen. I’m frowning, trying to calculate something in the third sector, when the doorbell rings. I get off the couch and open it to reveal Max Verstappen and Daniel Ricciardo, both in hoodies and joggers.

“Hey, we came to see if you changed your mind,” said Max, not even trying to lie. His gaze falls to your lower half and he smiles. “Looks like you didn’t, though.”

I’ve just remembered that all I’m wearing is an oversized hoodie (and it’s Max and Danny), so I don’t really care. “Afraid not.”

Daniel shrugs. “We can order in, too,” he suggests, his trademark grin appearing on his face, telling me instantly that Max has told him all about last night. 

“That’s really not a good idea,” I insist. “In fact, why don’t you -”

“Hey, Dilara, I was thinking of ordering dessert in case you want -” Taehyung’s deep voice comes from behind me and I turn around in horrendous anticipation to see him in nothing but a towel around his waist, looking up from his phone, first at me and then at my guests.

Max and Danny are evidently speechless - and so am I, but for different reasons. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been mortified, but I’m too distracted by the discovery that apparently the only thing that’s more attractive than Kim Taehyung is Kim Taehyung straight out of the shower. My eyes roam shamelessly over the beads of water still on his body, his wet hair falling into his eyes, how low that towel is…

I remember I have company and look back at Max and Danny, shrugging innocently. Taehyung, to his credit, doesn’t look the least bit embarrassed. His smooth, impassive face reveals the slightest smirk before he turns around and nonchalantly disappears back into the room.

I turn back to the boys, both of whom have a mixture of amazement and embarrassment on their faces. “You know what,” says Daniel finally, clapping Max on the shoulder, “you do seem really busy.”

“Yeah, we’ll see you in the morning,” agrees Max quickly, winking at me before I nod and shut the door. I walk back into the room to see Tae still in his towel, scrolling through his phone as he stands near the edge of the bed. I go up to him purposefully, shedding the hoodie and t-shirt on the way. He looks up at me and his eyes widen in surprise but I don’t stop.

“That was so hot,” I tell him in a low voice, reaching up to kiss him with one hand in his hair and undoing his towel with the other. If Taehyung is taken off guard, he doesn’t really show it. His arms go around my waist and he pushes me down on the bed, kissing me back. 

This time, it isn’t quite like before, where we were just desperate to finally be together. No, this time, we go slower. Tae takes his time which, as it turns out, elicits a whole lot of other responses from me. He fully takes charge, too; it’s subtle and I don’t even realise it’s happened until I’m on my knees while he’s sucking on my neck and rubbing furious circles on my clit and I’m practically begging him to fuck me. He pulls me back flush against his chest as he begins a rhythm, each thrust making me whimper until we both finish almost at the same time and I can feel him pant against my back and kiss my shoulder.

We stay in bed after that, under the covers. We talk about indie music; he tells me he writes it and I inform him that I listen to it, followed by a bunch of recommendations. I tell him about the time I was at a music festival back home and was waiting for my friends at the smallest, least crowded stage and how much I don’t regret that decision to this day. He tells me about the first song he wrote and produced and how the songwriting process makes him feel lonelier than he’d imagined. I, after privately considering, end up telling him about my mother, and how Rudy Komyshan treating me like his real child is the only reason I’m able to race today.

Taehyung kisses me at that, a gentle, protective kiss, holding my face and brushing his thumb across my cheek. He doesn’t say anything but then again, he doesn’t need to. We lie next to each other and at some point I fall asleep, smelling lotion and feeling hard muscle underneath my fingers.

When I wake up the next morning, I'm alone.

~

Thank you for reading. Check out the link for Part 2 in the description, and don't forget to drop a review :)

[chussyracing]

Hi, I was wondering, and honestly this is for any cholar (Charles scholar) that wants to take a spin at dissecting this, but why is the Monaco Grand Prix an emotional experience for everyone (chirlies). I get that it is Charles’ home race and with his string of bad luck, incompetent cars and strategies, it has taken longer than expected for him to win his home race. But the same could be said for Pierre, Yuki, Lando, Zhou, Esteban, and George. They haven’t won their home races but no one seems to wax poetry about it. The only suitable parallel that comes to mind is when Senna, if I’m not mistaken, won his home Grand Prix after five years of bad luck and he was so tired that he couldn’t lift the trophy. Did that create an allure around winning on home soil or is it something more. I’m still trying to learn my F1 history, so I might have missed important details, facts or people. I’m sorry for that🫶

Thank you

Nah, don't apologise. It never occured to me but now that you said it like that, it's a relevant question anyone could be asking.

In short: 1. he is special 2. monaco is special 3. he was freaking close many times before. All details below the cut to avoid cluttering people's dash!

So first of all, there's a reason they call him il predestinato. You probably heard the story that it was given to him by Carlo Vanzini after pr training session where his teenage self bravely claimed that he doesn't need to train some situations and phrases, because there's no way any teammate of his could be better in equal machinery. It only really stuck around his win in Monza (because of the legendary commentary of his race win), but everyone suspected he was destined for bigger things much earlier than this. He was dominant in every sense of the word in F2, then he literally destroyed Marcus in Sauber despite being a rookie and had arguably the best rookie season since the time Lewis debuted. It's not a coincidence that he got offered the Ferrari seat so early on, so young and for such a long time (and the speculations about him getting it were here much sooner than that too). He got a seat of last Ferrari champion who was outperforming his teammate at that time too and (people used to be so mad at Charles for this) technically although not literally pushed out both Kimi and Seb with his performance, because Ferrari count on him long term.

Monaco is special. (I'm incredibly biased and on the contrary to many Charles fans who hate the circuit and want to drop it from the calendar from the future, I love it.) Every driver wants to win there, maybe even more than a home race. Don't hold me accountable on this but I think there's a real quote from a former champion that literally goes like "one win at monaco is worth two or three somewhere else". It's not a coincidence that the greatest drivers of history were the best in Monaco (Senna, Schumi, out of the drivers on the grid of course Lewis). Due to it's difficulty, it's a part of so called triple crown: monaco win, indy 500 win and 24 hours of le mans win. Everything has to be precise, the drivers are literally kissing the walls and being a centimeter off the line can have the worst consequences. It also has many exceptions in terms of how long the circuit is, how many laps are raced, how much they pay in hosting fees. It's been there since the first ever season of f1 with only slight changes. And of course, what people are often most concerned about are the celebrities, the glamour... and the famous celebrations. Idk if you watched and followed last season but I suggest looking up "2022 monaco sergio perez orgy rumours" or "Seb Lewis Charlene Monaco threesome" for funsies

He was SO SO close many times before. In F2 in the main race he started on pole (as usual) fell down - due to some bad team decisions with crashes during the race and safety cars - to p2 and then dnfed cca in the middle of the race due to technical problems. In the sprint, he got to p16/17 before dnfing again due to more technical issues. In Sauber he qualified p14 and dnfed due to a brake failure (also took Torro Rosso driver with him and got 5s penalty for speeding in the pit lane, not a great race). In 2019 there were high hopes but Ferrari fucked up his quali when they decided not to send him out to save tyres and he was out in Q1 - kinda poetic that he ended up p16. In the race (that was really something) he got up to p12, then spun, touched someone else and got a puncture. The damage was so bad that he was lapped before he came out again. Then he pitted again and after a lap Ferrari decide to retire the car, because it was too damaged (I think he was ironically the only one to retire the race despite some others crashing/spinning). The next year it was cancelled, because of the Covid pandemic. In 2021 he put it on the pole again (despite crashing at the last few minutes and red flagging the session). Then famously, Ferrari declared the gearbox is okay and Charles will start on pole. But he didn't, because they discovered an issue before the race they wouldn't be able to fix before the start. To be fair the issue was on the other side than where he crashed, but even in that case, it was a huge let down. And then last year he put it on the pole AGAIN and according to what the data showed, he would put it on the pole even if Perez didn't crash and red flag the session. In the race... I can give you my full written recap if you are wondering but it was a strategy disasterclass and Charles was a sitting duck falling to p4 and not even getting to the podium after yet another home race pole. It's an impressive record, because Monaco especially in modern era is known for little to no overtakes. I think the numbers says something like 8/9 out of 10 last gps were won from pole. If you get the pole the victory should be basically guaranteed. Some people started calling it a Charles curse, a Monaco race curse, home race curse, whatever. To be fair, I hate the narrative, because all it does every single year is him getting mocked and ridiculed all of Monaco race week. People left and right are joking about him dnfing or crashing and what not.

It's sad i'm not the "what if" kind of person, because if I was I'd count how many wins and/or podiums he would have at home by now. Because it's not just a normal circuit like Silverstone is for Lewis or Australia is for Daniel - it's literally his home, because he walked those streets, got his driving licence there, drives around his friends' and family's homes and his own too. The stress is more on home and less on race in his case of "home race". That's why this would mean more than a home race victory and why everyone wants to see it so bad. If F1 was raced on how much people deserve it, nobody would deserve to win Monaco more than Charles.

Sorry this got so long, I hope it helped understand you a bit more about why it's different than a normal race. (If we were discussing a home race for Charles, we can just as well consider it Monza. Monaco is just something more than just that).

[rose-tinted-juls]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨

thanks for the tag @vinvantae & thank you to @avida-heidia-5 for making it!

tagging (ignore it if you already did it): @vetteltea @ricc3rodeo @silverstonesainz @strawberrysainz @ofsaintandsinner @monzabee @lxclerc @a-distantdreamer @schuvries @thebearchives @formulaforza

1. who or what got you into F1?

first it was my dad who used to watch it when i was around 7-9, but then he stopped and i did too, i only followed a few ppl on social media to kinda keep up, and then my cousin started watching DTS two years ago and she talked about it to me and it made me wanna watch f1 again and my obsession came back even stronger.

2. who was the very first F1 driver you supported? do you support them now? have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

as a kid i supported sebastian and jenson, and tbh they are still amongst my top favourites. when i started watching f1 again two years ago, i first supported george and charles. charles is still one of my all time favourites, and i still support george just i guess not as much as back then.

3. who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

i can't choose just one, really. right now it's charles, oscar and danny, i think. why does it actually feel a bit wrong to only say three lol

rest under the cut!

4. is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? what made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

multiple. i love max & daniel, charles & carlos (even their name combined is chaos, what can it be if not fun?), also carlos & lando. i think these pairings work(ed) really well in many aspects. oh and kimi & seb!

5. do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

well, my dad's been a jenson fan back in the day, now he's supporting lewis and fernando. my cousin is a big ferrari and charles fan!

6. do you have any favourite races? are there any that stand out to you the most?

singapore 23, and also monza 19, monza 20, monza 21. you just gotta love those. and australia 23 bc it was pure chaos lmao

7. do you have a favourite circuit? can be from the past or from the current calendar.

tbh i don't think i have just one fave. i have several that i like a bit more than others, like monaco, monza, baku, but i guess none exceptionally.

8. have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

nope, never. too broke for that sadly, coming from a broke ass country... i will hopefully attend the hungarian gp though as a volunteer this year!

9. have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

again, never. (heartbreaking.) hopefully that will change at the prev mentioned hungarian gp this year!

10. do you have a favourite F1 car? if so, what is it?

again, i don't have a favourite, but there are many i like. for example, i liked the red bull fan designed livery in miami 23, and the red and white ferrari livery in las vegas 23.

11. do you have a favourite one win wonder?

pierre and george (and kubica lol gotta love the guy). i literally cried my eyes out when george won in 2022.

12. do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? this can either be inspirational or hilarious.

i have so many, serious and funny ones too (mainly funny though). but, if i have to choose, for funny i have to go with "nothing just an inchident on the race" or "what am i now? heavily depressed", and for serious, i will go with my top 3, which are "being second is to be the first of the ones who lose" & "to achieve anything, you must be prepared to dabble on the boundary of disaster" & "you must always strive to be the best, but you must never believe that you are."

but i also gotta mention "one week they love me, one week they hate me, both weeks i get paid" and "i've got balls but none of them are crystal" bc seb is just too funny and i love the guy too much.

and another worthy mention is "he won in spa, he wins in monza" bc i always get goosebumps when i hear it or even think about it.

[hungriestheidi]

Favourite circuits for the reverse unpopular opinions!

send me a topic and i'll give you my (positive) take <3

oh i love this topic, thank you so mucccccch!!!!

TOP FIVE BEST CIRCUITS EVER IN MY TOTALLY NON BIASED OPINION:

1: Autodromo Jose Carlos Pace

INTERLAGOS YOU BEAUTY. 4km of the best freaking action on track !!!!!! best fucking circuit!!!! This circuit is always ready to serve, deliver, destroy, break the mold, rebuild it and break it again. The season finales here were always INSANE. #BringBackInterlagosAsTheLastRace

2: Marina Bay Circuit

this bad bitch always delivers. she never stops serving. and this weekend it even served women on motorsport action so you know this baddie is top tier quality! the one street circuit i will never complain about. over a decade on the calendar and has always given us a safety car, xoxo singapore.

3: Autodromo Nazionale di Monza

bad bitch after bad bitch, monza is the girlie who has always been there and knows some shit. iconic victories and insane moments. tifosi home circuit will always be the SHIT.

MONZA IS FOR THE DREAMERS !!!!! MONZA IS FOR THE MIRACLE MAKERS AND THE PASSIONATE LOVERS !!!!! MONZA BABY !!!!

4: Suzuka International Racing Course

She came, she saw, she conquered. 130R will live in my dreams as the one piece of track i want to drive on at least once in my life. it's beautiful. and now it has a bee hotel so that's nice. also i think this is the circuit that has the most interesting layout in terms of the little crisscross of one part of track over the other? sick and fantastic ! (couldnt find a better resolution with the modifications of the circuit but whateveeeer we move!)

5: Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps

She's cute!!!! and it has a forest!!!!! and there is a place literally called a bus stop i cannot love her!!! the racing may have gotten a bit dull and sometimes it is unbearably dangerous, but radillion and eau rouge are simply a thing of beauty. i love you spaaaaa, stay with me foreveeeer.

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday: The simple way to improve your health

TGIWednesday News

Our bodies are over 70% water. 🌊  Imagine how many clients I speak with daily who aren't even close to drinking enough water?  It can cause headaches, joint pain, exhaustion, poor memory and the list goes on. 🙃 During LIVE sessions we can always figure out exactly how many ounces or liters you need to drink daily just to break even!  Also we can test if your water circuits are turned on or not. 🔄  This is an energetic switch which seems to allow more water distribution.  If your water switch is turned off, you'll always seem thirsty, run to the bathroom constantly and your body will act like it's dehydrated. Take extra care now that you've read this to get your daily allowance of water into your routine.  My rough calculation is everyone needs at least a MINIMUM 44 ounces or 1.30 liters per day of water. 🥤 That's water, other drinks don't count!  It's ok to drink even more, but I've also seen clients who drink too much water and flush out all their minerals and the good stuff, so like life; it is a yin and yang balance. ☯️  Drink up! "We are all one and our origin is the Sea" - Armin Van Buren 

Reach out whenever we can help/contribute to you and yours in any way. View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ MY WATER CIRCUITS ARE TURNED ON ~

I believe, think, know and feel that my water circuits are turned on allowing me to utilize water in the most productive manner.  I know when, where, how and why to stay hydrated, and make it a point to drink more water to improve my life and I am ready, willing and able to make minor changes like drinking more water so that my overall health improves.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  If you'll make a little daily progress, the rest of your life will be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

FREE Live Appearances

JOIN THE FINALLY FEEL FREE TELESUMMIT Series 3 with host Aiswarya Starting on May 25th and Awaken Your True Soul Design and Destiny

This is more than just an event; it's a turning point. Equip yourself with the tools, insights, and support you need to break free from the chains of the ordinary and create an overflow of vibrancy, abundance, conscious love, and divine support in 2024. I've been invited as one of the dozens of speakers during this 25 day event. FREE REGISTRATION, Sign up here!

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May LIVE  Zoom Event

Special Announcement! For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY MAY 30, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access SIGN UP HERE: 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/body-clearings-ywr Then submit your 3 brief statements to change in the format below by Wed. the 29th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  IMPT:  All Darius YWR Season 27 Package B buyers are receiving this call free with your purchase.  Look for a call confirmation email and reminders to send in your submissions in the coming days.

THEME:  Body Clearings: Head to Toe 1) Check up from the Neck Up One of the clearing submissions from you can be about or include anything from the neck up. [No long stories, please be brief].  Suggestions include: stuck senses, sight, hearing, tinnitus, lack of taste, lack of smell, teeth issues, thyroid, throat, speaking, memory loss, hair loss, (you get the idea) 2)  Torso / Main Body  Clearing you from things like: shoulder pain, back issues, arm and hand challenges issues with blood circulation, organs, glands or systems, heart issues, lungs, acid reflux, indigestion, too much weight loss or gain. 3) From the Waist Down Items can include: elimination too loose or too constipated, sexual dysfunctions, bladder leakage, hips, knees, feet, adema, neuropathy, temperature of too cold or too hot, balance when walking, stamina. We want you to get the most out of the event and yet for it to be organized, and have a cadence or rhythm of clearings for everyone! 

Pre-Register Here - $22

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

MAY 22ND "Today I will realize that where I am today has potential to elevate me to heights unknown in a very short period of time. I will fulfill my duties with passion and determination and I will hold my dream close to my chest and remember that all things are possible when I believe."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

 Hi Jimmy, Just wanted you to know that the MRI report came back as "no evidence of tumor progression."  Yeah!!!  So grateful.  We'll meet with the Oncologist next week.  Again, we express gratitude to you Jimmy and your team.  We know daily prayers are answered."   - Courtney / Virginia

What's On Deck?

We're in the homestretch working on the final touches for the newest release: Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point  PDF, MP3 and bonus clearings!

It's looking like a mid-June release and this thing really took on a life of it's own - I think you'll be really pleased with it. It's good for either the novice who just wants to listen and have things change and radiate higher in Energy, Frequency and Vibration. And the pros witll love it because it gives instructions on how to raise your energy and go above things. We're already getting in some amazing comments from our Beta testers. 

Things people have said after listening to this: 

"reinforcement of positive feelings"

"feels like a brain reboot"

"like a squeegee clearing gunk off your windshield" 

"reminds me of my creative potency"

"it untangles the fish net of trauma and negative self-talk"

"relaxing and rejuvenating to listen to"

"easy to listen to but the impact is immense!"

"I definitely felt lighter each time I listened"

"If you had to choose one clearing track from Jimmy’s treasure chest...this would be it!"

"a powerful recording creating an instant positive shift in wellbeing, calmness, peacefulness, and lightness."

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.  

The Prosperity Collection  The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection The Improve Your Life Collection

Browse over 45 Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

The 5 Anchors Energy Process The Purple Rain Energy Process The Magical Golden Key Process TheNight Passage Sleep Process  

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

Use PayPal for subscription Click here 

Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments ​​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins Search FAQ Learn MyLiquidFish technique for FREE Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday: The simple way to improve your health

TGIWednesday News

Our bodies are over 70% water. 🌊  Imagine how many clients I speak with daily who aren't even close to drinking enough water?  It can cause headaches, joint pain, exhaustion, poor memory and the list goes on. 🙃 During LIVE sessions we can always figure out exactly how many ounces or liters you need to drink daily just to break even!  Also we can test if your water circuits are turned on or not. 🔄  This is an energetic switch which seems to allow more water distribution.  If your water switch is turned off, you'll always seem thirsty, run to the bathroom constantly and your body will act like it's dehydrated. Take extra care now that you've read this to get your daily allowance of water into your routine.  My rough calculation is everyone needs at least a MINIMUM 44 ounces or 1.30 liters per day of water. 🥤 That's water, other drinks don't count!  It's ok to drink even more, but I've also seen clients who drink too much water and flush out all their minerals and the good stuff, so like life; it is a yin and yang balance. ☯️  Drink up! "We are all one and our origin is the Sea" - Armin Van Buren 

Reach out whenever we can help/contribute to you and yours in any way. View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ MY WATER CIRCUITS ARE TURNED ON ~

I believe, think, know and feel that my water circuits are turned on allowing me to utilize water in the most productive manner.  I know when, where, how and why to stay hydrated, and make it a point to drink more water to improve my life and I am ready, willing and able to make minor changes like drinking more water so that my overall health improves.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  If you'll make a little daily progress, the rest of your life will be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

FREE Live Appearances

JOIN THE FINALLY FEEL FREE TELESUMMIT Series 3 with host Aiswarya Starting on May 25th and Awaken Your True Soul Design and Destiny

This is more than just an event; it's a turning point. Equip yourself with the tools, insights, and support you need to break free from the chains of the ordinary and create an overflow of vibrancy, abundance, conscious love, and divine support in 2024. I've been invited as one of the dozens of speakers during this 25 day event. FREE REGISTRATION, Sign up here!

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May LIVE  Zoom Event

Special Announcement! For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY MAY 30, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access SIGN UP HERE: 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/body-clearings-ywr Then submit your 3 brief statements to change in the format below by Wed. the 29th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  IMPT:  All Darius YWR Season 27 Package B buyers are receiving this call free with your purchase.  Look for a call confirmation email and reminders to send in your submissions in the coming days.

THEME:  Body Clearings: Head to Toe 1) Check up from the Neck Up One of the clearing submissions from you can be about or include anything from the neck up. [No long stories, please be brief].  Suggestions include: stuck senses, sight, hearing, tinnitus, lack of taste, lack of smell, teeth issues, thyroid, throat, speaking, memory loss, hair loss, (you get the idea) 2)  Torso / Main Body  Clearing you from things like: shoulder pain, back issues, arm and hand challenges issues with blood circulation, organs, glands or systems, heart issues, lungs, acid reflux, indigestion, too much weight loss or gain. 3) From the Waist Down Items can include: elimination too loose or too constipated, sexual dysfunctions, bladder leakage, hips, knees, feet, adema, neuropathy, temperature of too cold or too hot, balance when walking, stamina. We want you to get the most out of the event and yet for it to be organized, and have a cadence or rhythm of clearings for everyone! 

Pre-Register Here - $22

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

MAY 22ND "Today I will realize that where I am today has potential to elevate me to heights unknown in a very short period of time. I will fulfill my duties with passion and determination and I will hold my dream close to my chest and remember that all things are possible when I believe."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

 Hi Jimmy, Just wanted you to know that the MRI report came back as "no evidence of tumor progression."  Yeah!!!  So grateful.  We'll meet with the Oncologist next week.  Again, we express gratitude to you Jimmy and your team.  We know daily prayers are answered."   - Courtney / Virginia

What's On Deck?

We're in the homestretch working on the final touches for the newest release: Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point  PDF, MP3 and bonus clearings!

It's looking like a mid-June release and this thing really took on a life of it's own - I think you'll be really pleased with it. It's good for either the novice who just wants to listen and have things change and radiate higher in Energy, Frequency and Vibration. And the pros witll love it because it gives instructions on how to raise your energy and go above things. We're already getting in some amazing comments from our Beta testers. 

Things people have said after listening to this: 

"reinforcement of positive feelings"

"feels like a brain reboot"

"like a squeegee clearing gunk off your windshield" 

"reminds me of my creative potency"

"it untangles the fish net of trauma and negative self-talk"

"relaxing and rejuvenating to listen to"

"easy to listen to but the impact is immense!"

"I definitely felt lighter each time I listened"

"If you had to choose one clearing track from Jimmy’s treasure chest...this would be it!"

"a powerful recording creating an instant positive shift in wellbeing, calmness, peacefulness, and lightness."

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.  

The Prosperity Collection  The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection The Improve Your Life Collection

Browse over 45 Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

The 5 Anchors Energy Process The Purple Rain Energy Process The Magical Golden Key Process TheNight Passage Sleep Process  

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

Use PayPal for subscription Click here 

Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Share

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments ​​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins Search FAQ Learn MyLiquidFish technique for FREE Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday: The simple way to improve your health

TGIWednesday News

Our bodies are over 70% water. 🌊  Imagine how many clients I speak with daily who aren't even close to drinking enough water?  It can cause headaches, joint pain, exhaustion, poor memory and the list goes on. 🙃 During LIVE sessions we can always figure out exactly how many ounces or liters you need to drink daily just to break even!  Also we can test if your water circuits are turned on or not. 🔄  This is an energetic switch which seems to allow more water distribution.  If your water switch is turned off, you'll always seem thirsty, run to the bathroom constantly and your body will act like it's dehydrated. Take extra care now that you've read this to get your daily allowance of water into your routine.  My rough calculation is everyone needs at least a MINIMUM 44 ounces or 1.30 liters per day of water. 🥤 That's water, other drinks don't count!  It's ok to drink even more, but I've also seen clients who drink too much water and flush out all their minerals and the good stuff, so like life; it is a yin and yang balance. ☯️  Drink up! "We are all one and our origin is the Sea" - Armin Van Buren 

Reach out whenever we can help/contribute to you and yours in any way. View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ MY WATER CIRCUITS ARE TURNED ON ~

I believe, think, know and feel that my water circuits are turned on allowing me to utilize water in the most productive manner.  I know when, where, how and why to stay hydrated, and make it a point to drink more water to improve my life and I am ready, willing and able to make minor changes like drinking more water so that my overall health improves.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  If you'll make a little daily progress, the rest of your life will be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

FREE Live Appearances

JOIN THE FINALLY FEEL FREE TELESUMMIT Series 3 with host Aiswarya Starting on May 25th and Awaken Your True Soul Design and Destiny

This is more than just an event; it's a turning point. Equip yourself with the tools, insights, and support you need to break free from the chains of the ordinary and create an overflow of vibrancy, abundance, conscious love, and divine support in 2024. I've been invited as one of the dozens of speakers during this 25 day event. FREE REGISTRATION, Sign up here!

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May LIVE  Zoom Event

Special Announcement! For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY MAY 30, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access SIGN UP HERE: 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/body-clearings-ywr Then submit your 3 brief statements to change in the format below by Wed. the 29th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  IMPT:  All Darius YWR Season 27 Package B buyers are receiving this call free with your purchase.  Look for a call confirmation email and reminders to send in your submissions in the coming days.

THEME:  Body Clearings: Head to Toe 1) Check up from the Neck Up One of the clearing submissions from you can be about or include anything from the neck up. [No long stories, please be brief].  Suggestions include: stuck senses, sight, hearing, tinnitus, lack of taste, lack of smell, teeth issues, thyroid, throat, speaking, memory loss, hair loss, (you get the idea) 2)  Torso / Main Body  Clearing you from things like: shoulder pain, back issues, arm and hand challenges issues with blood circulation, organs, glands or systems, heart issues, lungs, acid reflux, indigestion, too much weight loss or gain. 3) From the Waist Down Items can include: elimination too loose or too constipated, sexual dysfunctions, bladder leakage, hips, knees, feet, adema, neuropathy, temperature of too cold or too hot, balance when walking, stamina. We want you to get the most out of the event and yet for it to be organized, and have a cadence or rhythm of clearings for everyone! 

Pre-Register Here - $22

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

MAY 22ND "Today I will realize that where I am today has potential to elevate me to heights unknown in a very short period of time. I will fulfill my duties with passion and determination and I will hold my dream close to my chest and remember that all things are possible when I believe."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

 Hi Jimmy, Just wanted you to know that the MRI report came back as "no evidence of tumor progression."  Yeah!!!  So grateful.  We'll meet with the Oncologist next week.  Again, we express gratitude to you Jimmy and your team.  We know daily prayers are answered."   - Courtney / Virginia

What's On Deck?

We're in the homestretch working on the final touches for the newest release: Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point  PDF, MP3 and bonus clearings!

It's looking like a mid-June release and this thing really took on a life of it's own - I think you'll be really pleased with it. It's good for either the novice who just wants to listen and have things change and radiate higher in Energy, Frequency and Vibration. And the pros witll love it because it gives instructions on how to raise your energy and go above things. We're already getting in some amazing comments from our Beta testers. 

Things people have said after listening to this: 

"reinforcement of positive feelings"

"feels like a brain reboot"

"like a squeegee clearing gunk off your windshield" 

"reminds me of my creative potency"

"it untangles the fish net of trauma and negative self-talk"

"relaxing and rejuvenating to listen to"

"easy to listen to but the impact is immense!"

"I definitely felt lighter each time I listened"

"If you had to choose one clearing track from Jimmy’s treasure chest...this would be it!"

"a powerful recording creating an instant positive shift in wellbeing, calmness, peacefulness, and lightness."

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.  

The Prosperity Collection  The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection The Improve Your Life Collection

Browse over 45 Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

The 5 Anchors Energy Process The Purple Rain Energy Process The Magical Golden Key Process TheNight Passage Sleep Process  

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

Use PayPal for subscription Click here 

Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments ​​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins Search FAQ Learn MyLiquidFish technique for FREE Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday: The simple way to improve your health

TGIWednesday News

Our bodies are over 70% water. 🌊  Imagine how many clients I speak with daily who aren't even close to drinking enough water?  It can cause headaches, joint pain, exhaustion, poor memory and the list goes on. 🙃 During LIVE sessions we can always figure out exactly how many ounces or liters you need to drink daily just to break even!  Also we can test if your water circuits are turned on or not. 🔄  This is an energetic switch which seems to allow more water distribution.  If your water switch is turned off, you'll always seem thirsty, run to the bathroom constantly and your body will act like it's dehydrated. Take extra care now that you've read this to get your daily allowance of water into your routine.  My rough calculation is everyone needs at least a MINIMUM 44 ounces or 1.30 liters per day of water. 🥤 That's water, other drinks don't count!  It's ok to drink even more, but I've also seen clients who drink too much water and flush out all their minerals and the good stuff, so like life; it is a yin and yang balance. ☯️  Drink up! "We are all one and our origin is the Sea" - Armin Van Buren 

Reach out whenever we can help/contribute to you and yours in any way. View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ MY WATER CIRCUITS ARE TURNED ON ~

I believe, think, know and feel that my water circuits are turned on allowing me to utilize water in the most productive manner.  I know when, where, how and why to stay hydrated, and make it a point to drink more water to improve my life and I am ready, willing and able to make minor changes like drinking more water so that my overall health improves.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  If you'll make a little daily progress, the rest of your life will be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

FREE Live Appearances

JOIN THE FINALLY FEEL FREE TELESUMMIT Series 3 with host Aiswarya Starting on May 25th and Awaken Your True Soul Design and Destiny

This is more than just an event; it's a turning point. Equip yourself with the tools, insights, and support you need to break free from the chains of the ordinary and create an overflow of vibrancy, abundance, conscious love, and divine support in 2024. I've been invited as one of the dozens of speakers during this 25 day event. FREE REGISTRATION, Sign up here!

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

May LIVE  Zoom Event

Special Announcement! For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY MAY 30, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access SIGN UP HERE: 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/body-clearings-ywr Then submit your 3 brief statements to change in the format below by Wed. the 29th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  IMPT:  All Darius YWR Season 27 Package B buyers are receiving this call free with your purchase.  Look for a call confirmation email and reminders to send in your submissions in the coming days.

THEME:  Body Clearings: Head to Toe 1) Check up from the Neck Up One of the clearing submissions from you can be about or include anything from the neck up. [No long stories, please be brief].  Suggestions include: stuck senses, sight, hearing, tinnitus, lack of taste, lack of smell, teeth issues, thyroid, throat, speaking, memory loss, hair loss, (you get the idea) 2)  Torso / Main Body  Clearing you from things like: shoulder pain, back issues, arm and hand challenges issues with blood circulation, organs, glands or systems, heart issues, lungs, acid reflux, indigestion, too much weight loss or gain. 3) From the Waist Down Items can include: elimination too loose or too constipated, sexual dysfunctions, bladder leakage, hips, knees, feet, adema, neuropathy, temperature of too cold or too hot, balance when walking, stamina. We want you to get the most out of the event and yet for it to be organized, and have a cadence or rhythm of clearings for everyone! 

Pre-Register Here - $22

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

MAY 22ND "Today I will realize that where I am today has potential to elevate me to heights unknown in a very short period of time. I will fulfill my duties with passion and determination and I will hold my dream close to my chest and remember that all things are possible when I believe."

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

 Hi Jimmy, Just wanted you to know that the MRI report came back as "no evidence of tumor progression."  Yeah!!!  So grateful.  We'll meet with the Oncologist next week.  Again, we express gratitude to you Jimmy and your team.  We know daily prayers are answered."   - Courtney / Virginia

What's On Deck?

We're in the homestretch working on the final touches for the newest release: Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point  PDF, MP3 and bonus clearings!

It's looking like a mid-June release and this thing really took on a life of it's own - I think you'll be really pleased with it. It's good for either the novice who just wants to listen and have things change and radiate higher in Energy, Frequency and Vibration. And the pros witll love it because it gives instructions on how to raise your energy and go above things. We're already getting in some amazing comments from our Beta testers. 

Things people have said after listening to this: 

"reinforcement of positive feelings"

"feels like a brain reboot"

"like a squeegee clearing gunk off your windshield" 

"reminds me of my creative potency"

"it untangles the fish net of trauma and negative self-talk"

"relaxing and rejuvenating to listen to"

"easy to listen to but the impact is immense!"

"I definitely felt lighter each time I listened"

"If you had to choose one clearing track from Jimmy’s treasure chest...this would be it!"

"a powerful recording creating an instant positive shift in wellbeing, calmness, peacefulness, and lightness."

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.  

The Prosperity Collection  The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection The Improve Your Life Collection

Browse over 45 Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

The 5 Anchors Energy Process The Purple Rain Energy Process The Magical Golden Key Process TheNight Passage Sleep Process  

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

Use PayPal for subscription Click here 

Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments ​​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins Search FAQ Learn MyLiquidFish technique for FREE Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[indycar-series]

are you an f1 or other motorsport fan? do you wish your racing series was more exciting with less gimmicks? well hot diggity do i have a series for you to try >:)

reasons to start watching indycar:

1. variety of winners and podiums. you don't have to worry about whether the same guy and team will win every race. in the 7 races we've had this season we've had 7 different winners of 7 different nationalities. (btw if someone different wins tomorrow it will be a new series record)

2. tight championships. you never know who's going to take the astor cup until the final checkered flag. right now the championship hunt is close, with the top 6 at over 200 points each, and many more still in contention.

3. close action. there's never a dull moment with passes happening all over the track. from the front to the back, there's battles to be had and positions to be gained.

4. likeable drivers. we've got a little bit of everything: some faves you know, and a lot that you probably don't. but there's a flavor of driver for everyone to enjoy (or not). there's also... whatever this is.

5. racing track variety. literally every kind of track you can think of, indycar races. (except dirt, for obvious reasons.) street circuits, road courses, short ovals, and super speedways, indycar is a contest to see who can be a jack of all trades and put their skills to the test.

6. pure racing. no silly gimmick rules, minimal technology differentials, this is just drivers competing to see who the best driver is. this is a spec series, so all the cars are the same make and equipped the same by the manufacturer, regardless of team.

7. pace car. i think it speaks for itself. there is also a blue civic type r that appears as a pace car which is also very nice. (i saw people making fun of our civic pace car but that civic can perform much better than you think it can)

some common arguments/concerns:

i don’t want to watch ovals. this season, there are only 4 ovals on the calendar, and 3 are already complete. only gateway is left, and that’s not til august. (honestly ovals have some of the best racing and you’re missing out if you decide to skip them, but that’s my own personal opinion.

indycar is very dangerous. all motorsports are dangerous, as demonstrated at detroit today (felix is ok, but sore. oliver askew will replace him tomorrow). indycar has developed protective measures including the dw12 chassis, the safer barrier, and the aeroscreen to better protect the drivers.

i only watch f1 because its the best. that’s ok, you’re entitled to your own opinion. i highly encourage you to watch a few races and give indycar a try before you completely write it off. indycar is a top-level form of motorsport in its own right and if you like f1, you’ll probably really enjoy indycar.

don’t they all have basically the same car? yes, indycar is a spec series, meaning all teams and drivers use the same basic car. its the same type as the w series. the teams are allowed to make some changes, but the cars are all subject to the same rules. because of this, the racing is closer and gives a better indicator of a driver’s abilities vs. the driver winning because of the technical difference in the cars.

[driver] i don’t like is in indycar. you’re allowed to root against drivers! that’s perfectly ok. everyone has drivers and teams they don’t like, its part of watching sports. the nice thing about indycar is in general the fandom (at least on tumblr) is pretty chill and doesn’t really care whether you like all the drivers or not, so you don’t have to feel pressured to like all of them. we’re all in the same boat of wanting to watch a fun sport we enjoy, root for the drivers we want to win, and root against the ones that don’t.

i don’t know where to watch. indycar lists on their website where to see the broadcasts. for my non-usa folks, the here is the list of international broadcasters. r/motorsportsstreams is a good place to find links to streams. additionally, if you want to watch older races (pre-2019) to get a feel for some of the racing and some of the faces, indycar has these available on their youtube channel (you might have to dig for them, they stopped conveniently putting them in playlists after a while). the races are also available on the radio through siriusxm (if you have a subscription to that) and on indycar radio through the indycar app (you have to make an account with indycar nation which is free to do).

i don’t have anyone to talk to about it. myself and @mclarenault​ run an indycar discord server for tumblr users. if you want to join, just click the link and make sure to read the rules on the welcome page. if you don’t know how to use discord that’s ok! we really don’t either, but we can help you with the basics. some blogs to follow (NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST) are @alexlvnn​, @rinusveekay​, @alexpalou​, @wancestroll​, @transnasc​, and @pocoohno​.

i don’t know where to start. that’s perfectly ok! i have resources available on my indycar masterpost so you can get started. it is currently pinned in case you want to reference it or don’t want to read it all at once. i recommend reading the indycar 101 series first (since 102 is about the 500 which already happened this year). i will warn you that it is a little bit of a read because i like to ramble. indycar also has a 101 section on their website under the fan info tab that’s worth reading through. i am also available to answer any questions you may have; if you have any questions please leave me an ask as its the easiest way for me to see them.

anyways, if you’re looking to catch a race, the next one is TOMORROW. green flag drops at 12:40 pm EDT/4:40 pm UTC for detroit part 2: electric boogaloo. hope you have a good day!

[wangxianficrecs]

❤️live from new york by varnes

❤️live from new york

by varnes

E, 87k, wangxian

Summary:  Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

“You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

“Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

-

OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

My comments:  This was sooo funny, ohmygoodness, but also chock full of pining and withheld communication and stupidly sacrificial idiots. Author juggles an ensemble cast flawlessly, and everyone's personality shines in the rawest and most shamelessly hilarious way (I saw someone comment that they were all feral, which suits). Story is most often lwj POV (he and wwx are co-head writers) and this boy is SO IN LOVE, but doesn't want to damage what he's got, so he stays silent (mostly). Their relationship drama is subsumed in the utterly hectic week that leads up to a Saturday show (Sunday is off, Tuesdays have a hallucinatory never-ending feel, Fridays are actually much busier than Saturdays).

Excerpt 1:  There is no “end” to Tuesdays. There is Tuesday, and then later Tuesday, and then midnight Tuesday, and then timeless Tuesday, when it stops being nighttime but isn’t yet morning, and then eventually the sun is up and it’s not Tuesday on the calendar but it’s still Tuesday spiritually, because no one has slept and everyone is all hopped up on caffeine and cigarettes.

Excerpt 2:  Some funny bits: 

“Laughter is the best medicine!” Wei Ying wheedles. “Come onnnnn, Lan Zhan, I’ve been rotting away for months and months, if someone doesn’t let me get a joke on TV in the next twenty minutes I’ll die. I’ll literally be forced to fling myself out of the Jiang family’s beautiful bay windows, and on the way down I’ll shout, ‘This was avoidable! This is because Lan Zhan wouldn’t let me punch up the promos!’ and then you’ll be fired for secondhand murder and it’ll be a tragedy like the sketch comedy circuit has never seen.”

Lan Wangji says, “Second-degree.”

“What?”

“Murder. Not secondhand.”

Wei Ying furrows his brow. “...I’ve heard it both ways,” he says. “That would make a good detective show spoof skit, though. Secondhand Murder.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agrees. “Murder She Wrote, but an idiot.”

“Keeps suggesting a series of increasingly implausible manners of death,” Wei Ying agrees, scribbling on the back of the takeout menu. Yanli and Lan Wangji share a look. “All the deaths are like — incredibly obvious and she goes buckwild with her theories anyway.”

“Police keep asking her to leave.”

“I want to be one of the victims,” Yanli says. “Put like, a sword right through my chest, but I’m still alive, telling the cops what happened, and she’s still like, ‘No no, that’s what the murderer wants you to think.’”

“Gruesome! Love it,” says Wei Ying, making a note.

Excerpt 3:  some just plain esoteric turns of phrase:

Lan Zhan mutters, “Wei Ying,” in that voice of his. He says Wei Ying eight million times a day but never the same way twice. A mood ring of Wei Ying. Wei Wuxian wants to be fully dead about it, wholly and completely excused from this earth because of how Lan Zhan says his stupid name.

“Lan Zhan,” he sing-songs back. “Ah, Lan Zhaaaaan.”

Excerpt 4:  Some gut-punches: 

Wei Wuxian wants bruises; Lan Wangji wants scars.

_____________________

ETA: There's a Sequel!

It's 19k of sheer delight as our boys go to the courthouse to get hitched... only to find out they've been married for the past 3.5 years. How. How did this happen? Wwx points out that they've never had anything but married sex which is very responsible and traditional of them. But still. How do you get accidentally married???

Excerpt:  “How are you so chill about this,” Wei Wuxian demands, turning his face into Lan Zhan’s palm and kissing it at the center. “I feel like someone just informed me that everyone else on the planet except me has two dicks, and you’re just like, tralala, dry cleaning.”

“It’s easier for me,” says Lan Zhan, very tenderly. “I’ve always had two dicks.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, helplessly. “Lan Zhan.”

modern au, SNL au, saturday night live, humor, comedy, pining, FOREST OF PINES, light angst, lots of jokes, ensemble cast, feels, oblivious wei wuxian, oblivious lan wangji, idiots in love, slow burn, lack of communication, self-sacrificial idiots, flirting, getting together, everyone ships it, top lan wangji, bottom wei wuxian, roommates, hijinks and shenanigans, comedian everybody, jiang siblings, friends to lovers, found family, adorable juniors, happy ending, favorite, @itsvarnes​​

(You may wish to REBLOG as a signal boost for this author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[jpegjade]

Physical Therapy - Ch. 1 (Spencer)

WELCOME TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!! in honor of this bish starting physical therapy in real life (and missing it bc i can’t drive and my mom and i’s schedules not being synched on google calendar all the time) i’ve decided to write a fic about it. it will be a little series with a goal (yes, an end game) and it’ll be cute. some of it is based on actual things that happen and some is literally just the story. ENJOY.

gender: neutral

tw: nothing that i can think of

genre: fluff | angst

Description: After getting shot in the leg, spencer goes through physical therapy before he can get back in the field completely. What happens when he starts to fall for his physical therapy assistant? 

__________________

Two honks at 6am meant that it was time for Spencer to get going. Derek was downstairs, in the car, waiting on boy wonder to crutch his way out of the apartment complex. Derek wasn’t sure how to feel about this trip considering he missed his early morning run for this but he knew how nervous Spencer was for his evaluation today so he didn’t mind as much as he could have minded. 

Spencer was patiently waiting in a pair of very short shorts, mismatched socks, and running shoes. He threw on a t-shirt and looked in the mirror, noting how tired he looked. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately for some reason but he couldn’t be sure why. He combed out his hair one more time before he and his crutches headed to the elevators. 

“Ready, kid?” Derek said, opening the front door for Spencer like a world class chauffeur would if Spencer was a celebrity. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Spencer mumbled.

In truth, Spencer was more than ready to get started on his physical therapy journey. He wanted to get back in the field full time, adrenaline pumping, connecting with victims, walking again. He didn’t mind the assisted mobility but it was hard for him to know that the best he could do sometimes was stay back in the office or hang out in Garcia’s batcave. 

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence between the two men. Derek was thinking about how he could make up his missed morning run by doing another type of high cardio workout while Spencer was just trying to figure out why it had to be him. He wouldn’t wish the frustration of his recovery process on anyone else on the team but the frustration of the recovery process just got to him on some days. Today was one of those days. 

Derek pulled up to the physical therapy clinic sooner than Spencer hoped. Part of that was because Derek was a very fast driver while the other part was because Spencer wasn’t paying attention for most of the drive. 

“You owe me one.” Derek said, completely joking. Well… Partially. That morning run was what kept him awake during the day, energizing him for work. 

“Do you want to come in?” Spencer said, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

Spencer’s hands were tapping his leg as he awaited Derek’s answer. He was nothing short of a nervous wreck on the inside. All he could think about was how much pain he would be in once the evaluation was over and the physical therapist had finished poking and prodding at his knee. He hated to think that it would be worse than everything else going on. Plus he still had to go to work today. 

“Sure, kid.” Derek said. 

Derek wasn’t going to sit in the car and do nothing the whole time so he might as well support his friend. 

Climbing out of the car, the boys slowly made it to the sliding glass doors of the physical therapy clinic. Much to Spencer’s surprise, it was nothing like he originally imagined it to be. Some part of him thought it would somewhat resemble the clinic where his mother resided but it was completely different. There were floor to ceiling walls for over half of the first floor building. High tech equipment was stationed everywhere from anti gravity treadmills to hand bike motors, medicine balls and so much more. Spencer stood in the doorway, leaning on his crutches, while he took everything in. There was so much light in the air, it was almost like the feeling of recovery was airy and not meant to bog him down. This was a strange feeling for him to comprehend...

“You coming, pretty boy?” Derek called, taking a break from chatting with the pretty receptionist. 

Spencer and his crutches walked over to the front desk and grabbed the paperwork that covered how much pain he was in today. He filled it out quickly, hoping to get everything over with sooner than later. He was already here so he might as well just finish everything quickly so he could get out of the place. 

When he finished writing everything down, he returned the paperwork to the receptionist who slipped him a piece of paper and pointed to Derek. Spencer already knew it was the receptionist’s personal phone number and he didn’t even need to look at the paper. Sitting down, Spencer handed Derek to a very confused Derek before it hit him what it was. Derek winked at the receptionist, who blushed before answering the phone. 

“Spencer?” A voice called his name shortly after he sat down. 

It was nice to know that here, he didn’t have to be a doctor. He was just another person healing. He didn’t have to be smart, he could just exist. 

“Good luck.” Derek said, noticing that Spencer’s hand was shaking in the slightest bit. 

“My name is Nora and I will be your lead physical therapist.” The woman said, walking Spencer to a vacant padded table. It reminded Spencer of the types of tables you lay on when you get a massage. 

He only got a massage once when Garcia got stood up on a couples’ massage date. He spent half of his part of the massage giving the masseuse facts about how their job could actually give them an infection from the amount of germs in the air and on the table. His delivery of facts caused the room to be incredibly uncomfortable and bleach the table very thoroughly. By the time he and the masseuse finished, only 5 minutes were left in the massage and Garcia was left horrified and amused at the same time. 

“Don’t worry. We bleach the tables every time someone finishes a session.” Nora said, noticing the look on Spencer’s face. Spencer visibly relaxed and sat on the table. 

“So, Spencer, tell me a little bit about yourself.” Nora followed up, pulling up a backless roller chair. 

“Well, I was on a case and the unsub, unknown subject, shot at a dad but it ended up hitting me in the leg instead and…” Spencer paused, looking at Nora’s amused face. 

“No, I mean tell me about you. Your hobbies, what you do for fun, things like that. I need to do a complete profile for you so I know how your quality of life has been affected and which exercises you can do at home so we aren’t pushing too fast.” Nora smiled at Spencer. 

“I work.” Spencer said in a matter-of-fact tone. He didn’t really have anything else to say. 

“Okay. So you’re a workaholic.” Nora wrote. She was about to ask a new question when you came quickly walking to Nora. 

Spencer was left dumbfounded. There seemed to be a halo of light radiating around you, making you glow. He knew it was the sun finally rising but his brain short circuited as he continued to gaze at you. 

“Hey Nora?” You said, looking down at your boss. “Mrs. Gillespi wants to know why you haven’t come back to check her form. She doesn’t trust me because, her words here, I ‘look like a child who doesn’t know their left foot from the color orange.’” 

“Sure. Here, you can take over Spencer’s evaluation.” She handed you her clipboard.

You looked at the detailed notes on the paper and then up at Spencer, who looked like one of the youngest people here. 

“It’s not often we get cute guys in this place. Other than Kyle. But Kyle’s an asshole who could almost be my dad.” You blurted, not realizing you said it outloud as soon as Nora left. 

You noticed that he started blushing and looking at his converse and you realized that you said something. You usually spoke your thoughts out loud but the people you worked with were used to it so no one bothered to say anything.

“What?” You asked, confused. 

“You called me cute.” Spencer said. “Which is fine. I don’t understand the appeal but I do believe that your blurting of what you perceive as a fact is a coping mechanism. It can also be tied to ADHD, which is a common mental disorder that causes your brain to impulsively say things.” Spencer paused, looking at your face. 

“What?” You asked, again, confused. 

“I’m not saying you have ADHD. I’m a doctor but not that kind of doctor. Although I could get another Ph. D. Prove my father wrong. And…” Spencer realized he was rambling. 

“Cute and a talker.” You said, writing that down. 

You wrote something down on the paper that Spencer couldn’t see but he was curious about. 

“Let’s check out that leg.” You said, pulling out an instrument that looked like a compass. 

You asked Spencer to move his knee certain ways and it wasn’t as bad as Spencer thought. You were gentle, soft even. Your hands were delicate and you ended the session massaging his leg and smiling at him. 

“You were a good patient today, doctor Spencer.” You said, smiling at him. 

Spencer blushed, unable to meet your eyes. 

“You… I mean… I enjoyed our session.” Spencer said. “Which I don’t normally enjoy. Not that I’ve been shot before. Or had physical therapy. Or been here. Or even worked out really.”

“You’re funny, doc.” You smiled. “Your next appointment is Tuesday of next week according to the schedule so I guess I’ll see you then. I can’t wait.” 

Spencer stared at you as he wondered why you were so excited. 

“Why?” Spencer asked. 

“It’s not every day I get the case for a cute guy who is smart and awkward. It’s almost like the heavens have answered my hopes and prayers.” You joked, looking up at the ceiling and putting your hand on your heart. 

“I believe in science.” Spencer stated, grabbing his crutches. 

“A man of science. Does it get any better? What’s your star sign?” You joked. 

“Scorpio.” Spencer stated. 

“Oop. All the scorpios I know have been some hoes. You better not be a hoe, doc.” 

“I’m definitely not a gardening tool, if that’s what you’re referring to. Otherwise, I’d like to thing my lack of dating skills doesn’t qualify as being a… hoe? Although, I don’t believe in the use of the word to describe someone who enjoys spending time with multiple people. I’d like to think the use of the word is meant in jest and fun for a term of endearment.” Spencer stood up, balancing on his crutches. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” You said, walking slowly with Spencer to the front desk. 

“What’s your name?” Spencer asked, turning to you. He realized that he never got your name.

“Y/n.” You smiled. 

The clouds must have parted again because as soon as you turned to walk away from him, towards Nora, you were covered in another halo. And just like that, you were gone again.

_____________________

Future tag list: 

@ellvswriting @sageandberries-png @l0ve-0f-my-life @rexorangecouny @kennedywxlsh

Want to be added? Tell me!

[formula365]

The most interesting of uninteresting races - Sakhir GP preview

A couple of weeks ago, it felt that F1’s final triple header of 2020 was going to be a quiet affair. After Mercedes and Hamilton wrapped up their respective titles, it seemed that the main story for the 3 races in the Levant would be the battle for 3rd in the constructors’ championship. Yes, there were still races to be won, and some seats up for grabs, and the Perez-Albon axis would be a focal point for pundits, but it felt very much like the twilight of the season.

Well, F1 comes at you fast (literally), and even more so in 2020, it seems. On Sunday, Hamilton’s 11th win of the season was overshadowed by Grosjean’s massive crash and the ensuing conversation over safety and what went well and not so well. After the race, it felt like this topic and Grosjean’s recovery would be the main story of the week, but then, for the third time, a driver caught COVID, and this time, it was the champion-elect.

Lewis Hamilton tested negative three times during the race weekend, but started feeling symptoms on Monday morning, and had two positive results on that day. The announcement the following day sent the F1 world into a spin. It would be the first time since Brazil 2006 that an F1 grid would not include Hamilton, and, given his dominance throughout the season, any race without him suddenly becomes a much more open and intriguing affair.

But even more crucial than that was the question on everyone’s mind: with Hamilton ruled out of (at least) the Sakhir GP, who would step in for him at Mercedes?

The reserve driver Stoffel Vandoorne was the most obvious choice. Already acquainted with the team and the car (at least via simulator), the Belgian was wrapping up preseason testing for the upcoming Formula E season and was already planned to fly to Bahrain anyway. But the Mercedes hierarchy had him as a number two choice, as this was a major opportunity for them to test the heir apparent to the team in their actual car.

It is no secret that Mercedes reached out to Williams to enquire about the availability of George Russell for 2021, before making the decision of giving Bottas another 1-year extension. The Grove-based team told them they did not wish to release him from his contract for next year, but there was no doubt that Russell was a strong candidate to take one of the Silver Arrows seats for 2022. And if Hamilton decides to continue into the new F1 era that will start in that season, then it is Bottas’ seat that will be, once again, in question.

This was, then, the perfect opportunity for Mercedes to evaluate their protege in an actual race environment, and have him go toe-to-toe with his main rival for that seat. I don’t think anyone in the team is expecting Russell to beat Bottas outright, but he won’t need to either. If he stays close to the Finn in the timesheets and impresses the team with work ethics and commitment, he will be taking a huge step towards securing that dream move.

Bottas, on the other hand, will be perfectly aware of this, which puts some additional pressure on him to perform. He cannot afford to be beaten by his one-weekend teammate; that would absolutely seal his fate for 2022. Ultimately, there might not be much that he can do to help his cause. Even if he does win the race and keeps Russell comfortably at bay, it will be the youngster’s performance that will be of more interest to the team. If Russell does well enough, there is nothing Bottas can do.

It is crazy that a race at the tail end of the 2020 season can have such deep ramifications into the 2022 season, but this has been a crazy year in more ways than one. This one-off race in a crazy layout of the Sakhir circuit will see two debutants and a stand-in for the champion-elect, while two drivers recover from health issues. There will be plenty of interest to see how all these permutations will affect the weekend, and what these out-of-place drivers can achieve. And, most importantly, we might even see the Mercedes 2022 line-up take shape.

Talking points

•  Another driver under pressure to perform this weekend will be Latifi, whose seat is not in danger but that will be left to look silly if he is beaten by his teammate. Also, the shuffle up front puts even more pressure on Albon, who will be expected to beat his good friend George, since he is much more accustomed to his car. As if he needed any more pressure on him.

•  Stoffel Vandoorne ended up being the big loser in the Mercedes decision. The Belgian driver just does not seem to get a lucky break with F1: after two years at a McLaren close to its lowest point, he doesn’t even get the chance to fulfil his role as reserve driver for the best team ever in the history of the sport. Perhaps it is best that he focuses his career elsewhere, as his FE car also seems to be capable of fighting for wins and getting into the title fight.

•  Wednesday morning saw most of the big announcements of the week in terms of driver swaps, but the best news of that day was Grosjean’s release from hospital. After that enormous scare, it was fantastic to see him walk out with a huge smile on his face, and hearing him say that he wanted to return for the Abu Dhabi GP, for what will be his F1 swan song. Absolutely nothing will beat seeing him back on the grid for that.

•  His vacated seat at Haas, as well as Russel’s vacated seat at Williams, will provide the opportunity to two drivers to have their debut in F1. Pietro Fittipaldi will stand in for the Frenchman at Haas; the Brazilian is the team’s reserve driver and spent the year in the garage with them, so will be well acquainted with the team members and their procedures. The same can be said for Jack Aitken, who will run for Williams. After an unlucky run with Campos in this F2 season, this will be a richly deserved reward.

•  Fittipaldi’s run with Haas will not represent an opportunity for him to stake a claim on one of their seats for next year, as the team announced their line-up, confirming the rumours that had been circulating for a few weeks. Mick Schumacher and Nikita Mazepin, respectively first and third in the F2 championship, will be driving in F1 for the American team. The return of the Schumacher name was expected and it will be great to see Mick test his talent at the highest level. He hasn’t blitzed the field this season, but rather has impressed with consistency and regularity, traits that bode well for a future champion.

Mazepin arrives with the tag of paid driver - which isn’t in itself incorrect, but is one that glues to the skin of the driver and is incredibly difficult to remove, regardless of results. The Russian has been slowly climbing the table in F2, having won 2 races. However, his general demeanour and attitude, on and off the track, leaves many question marks over this decision. His father brings significant backing to the team, but if he doesn’t clean his act the negative impact of his behaviour can be costly for Haas.

•  I am truly excited to see a completely different layout this weekend. The current calendar (2020 exceptions aside) features tracks with so many similarities, it is truly refreshing to see a short, ultra-quick layout, just to shake things up. Qualifying risks being quite the mess, and lapped cars will be a nuisance to the leaders, but I, for one, can’t wait to see them blast around Bahrain’s outer loop.

[aparecium-hq]

Welcome to Aparecium, Wes! You have been accepted for Albus Potter with your planned faceclaim. We love the way you’ve crafted Albus to go against the grain of the rest of his family, and personally I loved your writing sample in particular. We can’t wait to see him around! Check out the new member checklist, and jump right in. 

Character Basics

               Age: 21 years old

               Birthdate: 15 March 2006

               Pronouns: He/Him

               Sexuality: Homosexual, homoromantic

               Blood Status: Halfblood

               Hogwarts House:  Slytherin

               Occupation: Lawclerk for the Wizengamot,

                             apprentice barrister.

               Faceclaim: Chance Perdomo

Any requested changes: Not really?  I took some liberties with the evolution in the Ministry and the apprenticeship for becoming a lawyer.  I figured it would be something of a long process with a lot of work in the guild system rather than going off to law school?  But I’m most interested to know if we need to tweak anything.

Biography:

The middle Potter, the second son of a hero, Albus Potter has lived a certain amount of his life in the public eye.  He’s always been conscious of attention, desiring it less and less as he grew older.  He finds respite in close acquaintances and good friends, small settings and familiar environments.  His family, though sometimes the very people he’s clashing with, are always his first source of solace and comfort.  Whatever tensions they might have, they’re his people.  And woe be told to anyone who crosses the line in his presence.

From a young age, Albus showed a taciturn bent and found himself at his Aunt Hermione’s side with frequency.  Books and stories became his companions as much as his brother.  And sometimes to better effect.  He devoured literature, asked his aunt and parents for lessons and primers, and had a raging row over the fact that other children could go to primary school.  He saw Hogwarts and education as the next great challenge, the next great adventure.  He saw it as where he truly belonged.

How wonderfully cruel that reality can be.

Hogwarts wasn’t the worst thing really.  It was a learning experience to be sure, in more than just the academics.  Sorted into Slytherin and falling into a different vein than his brother and father, he acquired more than a little gossip.  But Albus had been backed into an unfamiliar corner before, so he did what came naturally.  His tongue lashed, far faster than his wand ever could, and he caught trouble with it.  A black eye and a split lip were his reward, but the third year Gryffindor was on the ground and his opinion amongst his housemates was settled: he was a snake, through and through.

He learned quickly, taking in whatever he could from his housemates and classes.  He learned that his reserved nature was a gap people had to cross, that the masks he used out of indifference our out of annoyance with the press were tools at his disposal, he learned that his words were not just barbs, but arrows.  By his third year, he changed tones and temperaments like cloaks, dressing up for some and down for others.  He developed a knack for patterns that spread naturally to arithmancy while his ability to think on his feet endeared him to charms all the more.  They became his best subjects, followed rather quickly by history of magic.  Though that one?  That was a practiced study.  Especially after the Madley Properies came about.

The change of the world while he was at Hogwarts was sudden.  The access to more technology meant access to more information.  Muggle information.  Albus devoured it all, spending hours cross referencing magical history with muggle timelines, building comprehensive understanding of events and their influence on either side of the Statute of Secrecy.  How the pollical actions in the muggle world influenced the economic realities of the magically community, or how a magical malady could seep over into the muggle world and insight chaos because of the tiniest bit of other.  He learned that things were far more interconnected than most people thought.

And he realized how absolutely how absolutely mad changing anything quickly was.

He graduated with respectable marks in his favored disciplines, with his only truly problematic grade coming in Defense.  But he wasn’t looking to join his father in the Aurors.  But he had his eyes on the DMLE.  Eventually.  But first, well he needed information.  His classes were dreadfully sparse on the machinations that drove their society, and that’s what he needed to understand.  He’d never had to fake an interest in his Aunt Hermione’s work, and the right words had him there, running paper and writing briefs and other monotonous work in the danker parts of the Ministy.  But he was there.  That was the important part.  And it paid off, when two years later, the Wizengamot took advantage of his skills and put him to work as a clerk.

Now at twenty-one, Albus has become something of a fixture in the research apparatus of the magical government of England.  His pattern recall and gift for memorization has made him the place where most research inquiries start: ask Potter, he’ll point you where to start.  His analytical mind lends itself to complicated cross application of policy and precedent, and while he doesn’t have the bombastic personality of some clerks or barristers before the high wizarding court, his ability to shift gears and pull references makes him an adept ally in cross examination and questioning.

Sociability:

When he’s not picking at threads in the legal archives or catching up on muggle current events, he tries to still be there for his family and friends.  He tries to keep a social life, between work friends and his large family and the people that give him actual solace in life, he likes to think he keeps a full social calendar.  For Scorpius, his best friend and his roommate, he would literally drop the world to ash if it needed.  And he…tries not to dwell exactly on that why too close.  Somethings don’t withstand scrutiny after all.  He misses the closeness he once had with his siblings, long before Hogwarts and Madley, when things were simpler.  He does boast a large network of acquaintances that he knows only by their handle.  He took to internet culture a bit too well, making friends and associates that he only knows by online handles and pseudonyms.  Some have made the leap to personal acquaintances, especially the collection of muggles that helped him come to grips with his own burgeoning sexuality at Hogwarts, that took him to his first Pride.  He owes them quite a lot, even if they’re kept at arm’s length.

Personality:

Albus still resembles that inquisitive child he was, somewhat quieter and more reserved than his family and always searching for some new bit of information.  He’s lost some of the taciturn qualities however, finding his voice through reasoned arguments and biting wit.  He’s not afraid to speak his mind, but does try to find the path of least offense unless his ultimate goal is to cause offense and put someone on the back foot.  He wears his opinions and language like masks, speaking openly but not always directly.  It’s those that know him best, Scorpius and Rose and his closest family, that see the true Albus.  He’s a stack of books on a rainy Saturday morning, the smell of coffee and old leather in the air.  He’s a passionate debate over dry martinis, the smell of cigarette smoke mingling with gin and the buzz of conversation.  He’s warm cashmere and soft jazz while something bubbles on the stove top.  He’s good friends and late nights, fairy lights low and spirts high and flowing freely.

Appearance:

Much like he appropriated language and history from his housemates, he also picked up on their habits of dress.  Fine robes and well cut wizarding garb are key to his image at the Wizengamot.  But these days, he finds himself draping a cloak over well cut Savile Row suits in greys and blacks with stylishly bright ties in greens or violets.  Waistcoats with patterns shirts and small lapel pins that sing his causes: rainbows, circuits that spark magically, something called an x-wing.  Blazers and jeans with Doc Martens or stylish boots when he slips into muggle London for a drink or a date..  Jeans and hoodies and warm woolen jumpers round out his casual clothes.  He’s looked longingly at some jewelry the muggle university students have, all manner of piercing and decoration of ink on skin, but he’s yet to give into those temptations as they endanger the masks he needs a little too much.

Character Questionnaire (In Character):

What does your character value in a friendship?

Is it cheating to say discretion?  No?  Then that simply must be the answer.  When one grows up with a certain amount of notoriety… a name that is recognizable and splashed across the press of the realm near daily… a friend who knows when to bluff, when to keep things private is worth their weight in gold.  Quite literally.    And there is so much caught up in that word as well.  Discretion.  It’s not just secrecy.  It’s trust.  And with that I believe truly, there must be some level of affection there.  A warmth and familiarity that breed such a level of trust.  There are people for whom I have great affection, and even great trust, but for who I don’t believe are discrete.  It’s that bit extra, that pinch more wit and courage and resolve that make it the better value.

How would a stranger who has just met your character describe them?

Oh Circe, this is such a loaded question.  A stranger?  Well it really depends upon the circumstances you know.  Where are we?  Drinks is very different than a fundraiser than a friendly pick up game of Quidditch.  Though why I made mention of the last, I really haven’t a clue.  But the point remans; where did we meet?  I’d like to think that I leave people at least somewhat assured that I know what I’m talking about, even if that does mean I come off as a bit of an ass.  And as cold as it may sound, so much of this might come down to how I want them to remember me.  It changes the way one approaches a stranger, if they think it’s only for a moment or there’s something more there.  Whatever that more might be.  Well at the very least, it means I try not to burn bridges I’ve only just encountered.

What magical skill or talent is your character most proud of?

Can we consider memory a skill?  A talent?  I’m not sure it’s honed like a blade or conditioned like a muscle.  But I do think I’m very good at it.  Or with it.  Memorizing.  Recalling.  Things just sort of…stick up there.  Referenced and catalogued.  A font of utterly useless information.  But information that can be applied, brought forward when needed to dramatic effect or for some nefarious purpose.  Dreadfully useful, in work and in life.  I don’t forget birthdays.  Though I do sometimes forget to shop for them…so it’s rather an imperfect skill.  Talent.  Part of me, whatever.  

Para Sample

Albus tapped a finger against the stem of his glass slowly, letting the small sound of his nail making contact mark the time.  He’d been watching for the past half hour as patrons moved in and out of the space.  Fresh drinks, greetings, calls to join a group.  It was the happiest of hours and this particular bar was just getting started.

Then again, so was he.

It wasn’t a usual of his, though he found the ambiance quite charming.  Dark wood, shiny brass, and a Botanist martini that was so dry it could be a disaster area.  Start of a good evening.  And it put him on good footing for the chap that he was expecting.  A friend of a friend, a you-should-meet-him sort of person that did…something functionally important in Westminster.  No doubt it would be a topic of some conversation later into the evening.  Best to know enough going in to be interested, but not too much so as to be bored.  Rather like any project, dating was.

Merlin, Scor would chastise him for being so cynical and dry about it all.  He smirked into his glass.

The man that approached a bit before their appointed rendezvous was fit.  Albus raked eyes over the man, taking in the cut of his suit, the fit of his trousers, the twist of his laces.  Cambridge man.  He’d bet money on it.  Eaton too.  He saw a few coy grins flashed at other patrons, a crisp note slipped discreetly to the bartender, a lean up the rail to whisper across the bar.   Albus let his smirk grow as he finished his drink, slipping away to duck into the gents.

He dispelled the subtle notice-me-not once he was in a stall, wafting away the bits that kept him mostly undisturbed.  There was a lot you could see at happy hour after all.  People drinking too quickly, nerves when a joke failed to land, thousand-yard stares into pint glasses.  Frivolity as a mask.  Jocularity as a balm.  He checked his reflection, gave an artful tousle of his hair and straightened his tie, and slipped out with a beatific smile that never met his eyes.

Those?  He liked sharp.

[master-sass-blast]

Questions and Answers.

*grins* It’s time.

TIME TO VALIDATE MY PARKING, HOLY SHIT!!!! I SPENT TWO WEEKS WRITING THIS FIC AND THREE DAYS EDITING IT!!! IT’S 13.6K WORDS LONG!!! I REFERENCED EVERY SINGLE OTHER FIC I’VE EVER WRITTEN FOR THE CHC IN THIS FIC AT LEAST ONCE!!!

I’m gonna toot my own horn, dammit. I worked hard on this, I know it’s good, but for the LOVE OF CHEEZITS PLEASE I WANT THE COMMENTS AND INTERNET LOVE!!!

No summary, because that would literally give everything away --but I would hope the title makes everything evident.

Rating: T for language, implied sex, mentions of sex, nudity, mentions of abuse, mentions of angst, and a literal buttload of fluff.

Set after everything that’s been written for the CHC thus far.

Special thank you to @leo-writer for proofing this for me.

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things

Your morning alarm goes off on your phone, pulling you out of your slumber and into a brand-new day.

You flail around aimlessly, eyes squeezed shut, until you manage to find the wretched device and shut the alarm off. You sigh when the bedroom you share with Piotr falls silent once more, then roll over so you can see out the balcony windows and open your eyes.

It’s a beautiful late spring morning. The sky is a flawless shade of blue. Golden light streams through the windows –Piotr must’ve opened the curtains when he got up, since he knows it helps you wake up.

Speaking of which, Piotr’s not in bed with you. Which isn’t all that unusual, admittedly. He’s a consummate morning bird, and often takes advantage of the early hours of the day to work out, draw, handle official X-Men business, or spend time grading and working on lessons. There’s been plenty of mornings where you’ve woken up to an empty bed and a text or two on your phone, reminding you to eat breakfast and letting you know where to find him if you need him.

Except there aren’t any texts on your phone this morning.

There is, however, a large white envelope on Piotr’s nightstand, addressed to you. It’s propped against the lamp, and your name is written on it in thick, bold letters –Piotr’s handwriting, from the looks of it.

And that is unusual, because both of you know that your tendency to overlook basic details of your environment makes leaving physical notes a bad idea; texts, on the other hand, are safe because you always keep your phone on you.

So, the deviation from the norm, plus the way the card has obviously been staged to get your attention, means that Piotr is definitely up to something.

You pick up the envelope and rip it open.

Inside is a handmade card with a picture of a little forest scene on it –you’ll recognize it later as the scenery outside the sunroom in the little house Piotr stays in on his art retreats—which further confirms it as Piotr’s handiwork.

You open the card and start reading it.

Myshka,

Happy Anniversary.

You blink, then check your phone’s calendar function. Shit, how’d that happen? It was last fall, like, two seconds ago.

I wanted to do something special for you today, so I hope you will not mind that I planned scavenger hunt of sorts for you. There are several envelopes like these around the house, and they will lead you to each place on journey. (I recommend you follow in order, instead of looking at random; it might be confusing otherwise.)

You smile broadly; it’s just too damn sweet.

And completely on the nose for you, because you definitely would’ve searched the mansion at random for the cards if he hadn’t told you to go in order.

Anyway.

Unfortunately, to make sure everything runs smooth, I will not be able to join you. I will see you at end of day, when you have finished your journey. (If there is emergency, you can always reach me on my cellphone.)

All of my love to you always,

Piotr

You have to take a minute to process it all; it’s so unbelievably sweet and thoughtful and Piotr that it makes your heart ache. How did I get so fucking lucky?

You take a deep breath to calm yourself, then read the line of text at the very bottom of the card.

Hint: Most important meal of day.

You grin at the card, then bound out of bed, course set straight for the kitchen.

 ***

 There’s a plate of food waiting for you when you arrive –chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, fruit, the works.

The kitchen’s empty, but the food’s still hot. There’s no sign of anyone else around, so whoever cooked your breakfast –most likely Piotr, considering he’s not one to make others do extra work for his own ideas—must’ve started cooking at the last possible second, then booked it when they heard you coming down the stairs.

There’s also an envelope next to your plate, addressed to you in Piotr’s handwriting.

You get settled in the dining room –also conspicuously empty—with your plate, then open the envelope.

Myshka,

I think one of ways I am most blessed in our relationship is being able to eat my breakfasts with you. Whether we are talking about the future we want to have or I am taking care of you after a wild night, starting my days with you helps me put myself in proper perspective. Your positivity, resilience, and humor reminds me of what is truly important, and forces me to consider with which mindset I want to handle my day.

I have always said breakfast is most important meal of day, but I do not think that became completely true until I could spend them with you.

Love,

Piotr

You have to take a minute to collect yourself because holy shit Piotr. You feel caught off guard and overwhelmed and so unbelievably loved.

Before you can overthink it, you pick up your phone and dial your boyfriend’s number.

He answers on the second ring. “Privet.”

“You’re not allowed to make me feel soft and vulnerable like this,” you whine, making sure he can hear your smile in your voice. “You can’t just turn me into a puddle of mush with your notes and compliments, Piotr. I have a reputation of being a badass to maintain.”

He chuckles. “My sincerest apologies, moya lyubov’ –thought something tells me you are not actually complaining.”

“Not in the slightest,” you confirm with a grin. “I just… I feel bad because I don’t have anything for you. Definitely not anything like a scavenger hunt.”

“No feeling bad,” he says quickly, albeit gently. “Today is as much for me as it is for you. Trust me, I have had much enjoyment planning all of this.”

“I don’t doubt it, but it doesn’t seem fair.”

“It will be. You will see.”

You sigh. “Well, alright. You’re the world’s greatest boyfriend, you know that?”

“I do not care much for being world’s greatest boyfriend, just yours.”

“Well, you are my world.”

You hear him let out a little breath over the phone, and you know you’ve managed to touch the soft parts of his heart with your words. “Thank you, msyhka. I… I can only hope I am worthy of it.”

“You are,” you say with utter conviction. “There couldn’t be anyone worthier.”

He lets out another little breath, and you can hear his smile in his voice when he speaks again. “Thank you, myshka. Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“You should eat breakfast. It is—”

“The most important meal of the day, I know,” you finish with a grin. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“And I love you, dorogoy.”

“I’ll see you at the end of the day.”

“Khorosho.”

You hang up, then smile at your phone for a moment before setting it down so you can start in on your pancakes and consider the next hint for your scavenger hunt.

Hint: I could not hide anything from you.

This one’s a little more cryptic than the last one. You furrow your brow as you munch away at your pancakes, trying to think of what Piotr might possibly hide from you.

The trouble is, of course, that Piotr’s never hidden anything from you. Everything about him and who he is stems from his trustworthiness and honesty; his teaching, his role as a mentor, his art, his identity—

A lightbulb goes off in your head and you grin like a maniac. Of course. You chuckle to yourself, satisfied, and set the card down so you can finish eating.

You know exactly where you need to go next.

 ***

 As soon as you finish eating, you head to the library –and sure enough, there’s an envelope addressed to you waiting for you on one of the tables.

Actually, it’s on the same exact table Piotr had been sitting at when you saw him out of defense mode for the first time.

You have to take a moment to smile and appreciate his attention to detail before you rip the envelope open.

Myshka,

At risk of sounding sappy, I think of moment we shared in here often. I had waited so long for you to know how I felt –and to know if you felt anything for me—that receiving any sort of confirmation… it was great relief, to say the least.

I hope you know how much I cherish every day I have spent with you –those we have been together and those we have not—and how precious these past years have been to me.

Love,

Piotr

You can’t help but smile at the card and take a moment to sit back in one of the chairs. I’m gonna die from a sweetness overload today, you realize. I’m gonna read one of Piotr’s notes and just keel over from how sweet and kind and thoughtful it all is.

There’s no better way to go, in your opinion.

You take a deep breath, do your best to calm down, then pick up the card again so you can read the hint.

Hint: you may want to get dressed for the day.

It says something about Piotr that he knows you well enough to know you’re still in your pajamas.

You chuckle to yourself and head back to your room.

***

 Illyana’s waiting for you, sitting in Piotr’s desk chair when you walk in.

You blink, shocked. “What… how…” You stare at her, synapses short-circuiting as you try to figure out just how she’s here and why she’s not in Russia. “…Hi.”

She smiles. “Hello.” She holds up a white envelope with your name on it. “I was told to give this to you.”

Which is automatically suspicious –not because you think she’s lying, but because Piotr isn’t the type to have other people do his work for him.

And if he has his family here, that means he’s got something big planned.

“Uh, yeah,” you finally say. You gesture with the other cards –you’ve stuck them back in their envelopes for the time being—that you’ve been carrying with you. “He’s been doing that today.”

“That he has.” She stands, hugs you briefly, then hands her envelope to you. “Happy Anniversary.”

You stare after her as she leaves, then close the door before opening the envelope.

Myshka,

One of the things I appreciate most about you is your impish nature.

You stop reading and roll your eyes –while smirking, albeit—because of course he’s bringing that up, of course.

Whether it is goading me into spending more “quality time” with you when lights have gone out, playing in corn mazes, coming up with fun ideas for all to participate in, embracing your inner child, or getting back at Wade, your zest for life and good times never cease to leave me amazed. You help me appreciate the moment instead of worrying about the future (even though it gets me into trouble some times). I will forever appreciate the lessons you have taught me about living life to fullest and appreciating those around you.

Love,

Piotr

You’re misty-eyed; granted you wouldn’t call it “goading” or “getting into trouble,” but you’re genuinely touched by his reflection on your personality and what he appreciates about it –and has learned from it, which is going to take some time for you to wrap your head around.

You press the card against your heart for a moment, silently appreciating your wonderful, sweet mush of a man, before holding it out again so you can look at the next hint.

Hint: Go to the place where it all became official.

You frown. What the hell does that mean?

There’s a lot of places that have “official” meanings to them since you’ve gotten into a relationship with Piotr –hell, since you first came to the Institute.

Okay, think. This is your anniversary. It’s going to be a place where some sort of specific milestone happened.

That, admittedly, does narrow down the field of options ���but not by much.

You chew on your lower lip as you mentally wade through various possibilities. Okay, this is Piotr we’re talking about. It’s going to be from his perspective. What goes into making something official, if you’re Piotr?

Your brain immediately jumps to communication. Piotr’s a stickler for good communication; he likes making sure that everyone understands what’s going on, that everyone’s had a chance to give their say in a situation, to express their feelings, to agree or disagree…

Okay, so understanding the situation, giving your say, expressing feelings, agreeing and disagreeing, in the context of our relationship “being official…”

You almost gasp out loud when it hits you.

 ***

 After you get dressed, you head out to the property behind the mansion.

Specifically, to the tree that you and Piotr had sat under, later on the same day that you’d seen him out of defense mode for the first time; it’s the spot where he’d confessed his feelings to you, and it’s the spot where you two agreed to be in a relationship.

Official.

You step around the tree to where the bench still sits –and nearly fall flat on your ass when you see your uncle sitting there.

He grins up at you. “Hey, punk.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” You wrap your arms around him as soon as he stands, then poke him in the ribs when he laughs. “Be nice! I had no idea you were coming! Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s cool,” he says as he lets you go. “Just thought I’d drop by for a quick visit.” He pulls a white envelope with your name on it out of his pocket and hands it to you. “Your guy asked me to give this to you.”

You narrow your eyes at the envelope, then squint up at your uncle. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’m giving you an envelope.”

“No shit. I meant –why? Why are you here? Are you …in on whatever’s going on?”

“Because that’s how it works.” He smirks and ruffles your hair. “Happy Anniversary, punk.”

You stare after him as he strides off towards the house, then sit down on the bench and open the envelope.

Myshka,

I think this is one of my most favorite memories with you. Though I cherish every single memory I have with you, this is one I return to whenever I feel sad or lost. I am not sure if there is good explanation for why. I suppose, to me, knowing my feelings were reciprocated is what started this long and wonderful journey of sharing life with you.

Or, perhaps, reason why I reminisce does not matter. I know I love you, and you love me. That is enough.

Love,

Piotr

You can’t help but smile; the confession under this very tree is one of your favorite memories, too.

Hint: Go back to our bedroom.

You frown. You’ve already been to the bedroom once; it seems weird that you’d backtrack your steps –but, then, you aren’t the one in charge of setting up this scavenger hunt.

You slide the card back into the envelope, jam it into your pocket with the others, and take off across the back lawn.

***

 The changes are immediately noticeable as soon as you step over the threshold to yours and Piotr’s bedroom.

First, the bed is made; you’d forgotten to do it after you’d gotten dressed.

Second, your pajamas are in the clothes hamper, instead of on the floor.

Piotr’s been here, you realize. He’s still at the house.

Something about the thought of your boyfriend sneaking around the mansion to avoid being spotted by you and watching you follow his trail of clues makes you smile.

There’s an envelope with your name on it on top of your pillow.

It’s considerably larger than the other ones, almost stuffed to the point of being unable to close.

You open the envelope –which doesn’t take much effort, considering it’s about ready to pop on its own—and withdraw several sheets of paper.

Myshka,

I like to think of our room as our little sanctuary. Sometimes, in a house full of other people, it is easy to feel that you have no privacy, or to feel overwhelmed by everyone else. However, when I step into our room, I feel at home.

You feel the same way.

We have shared so many memories in our room, yes? Your first Halloween (and you telling me you wanted to marry me), taking care of each other when ill, comforting each other from nightmares, even just moving into together; there are so many memories, it is hard to count them all.

Sometimes, when I cannot sleep, I wind up watching you rest while I contemplate our life together until I can rest as well. I do think myself blessed for every moment I get to spend with you, but remembering such nights brings me a unique sense of peace and steadiness.

Granted, not all memories we have here are… pleasant ones. I think it pointless to pretend that our relationship has not come with struggles; every relationship has difficulties, and while memories of fights we had do not bring me joy, I will confess I do not feel any particular shame about them (aside from what my own behavior and actions contributed, of course).

We have had to learn a lot about each other and how to work together –or how to work with each of our family’s… unique circumstances. I know I have –from learning about your uncle (and struggles leading up to that moment), to arguments about responsibilities, to learning to not let my fear control me as it relates to you, or even in moments when you worried nothing would change or you were caught in an internal spiral, I know for certain that my relationship with you would look entirely different if we had not faced those moments together.

Is it wrong of me to say that I do not regret having to face those struggles (aside from what my own behavior contributed)? I would never say they were pleasant, but I know you so much better and deeper from having gone through them –to say nothing of myself; you have challenged me to be better person –whether it relates to myself, my family, you, or others—countless times that I honestly feel that I am better person for having gone through all of it. If had to chose between facing those hardships or never facing them at all… I would still choose to face them, even knowing consequences they bring.

I am more grateful than words can say for knowing you and having known you. I would not be man I am today without you.

All my love,

Piotr

You’re crying –and you’re grateful that you opted to not put on makeup when you got dressed, because it all would’ve been ruined after reading that letter.

You can barely fathom that Piotr is grateful for all the hell the two of you have gone through together; you know he’s not lying to you, that if he says he feels that way, he does, but…

It’s rare enough to find people who stick with you through the good times and the bad, but to find someone who appreciates the bad times and struggles because they were able to learn about you and themselves?

You dial Piotr’s number before you really even realize what you’re doing.

“Privet.”

“You know you’re the single best human on the planet, right?”

He catches on quick to the fact that you’re crying. “Myshka, is everything alright? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just my heart’s in pieces after reading that letter,” you say with a laugh as you try to dry off your cheeks. “I just… I just wanted to let you know that I feel the same way. I wouldn’t trade the struggles we’ve had to go through, either. Some of it sucked, but… it’s worth it. And I feel like I know you a lot better for having gone through all of it, too.”

He goes quiet for a moment, then sucks in a shaky breath that tells you that he’s tearing up, too. “I love you very much, Y/N.”

You sniff and continue the –largely unsuccessful—process of trying to dry your face. “I love you too, Piotr.”

“Are you okay? Do you need me to come see you?”

“I’m alright,” you reassure him, smiling. “I just wanted to let you know how I felt. And to say thank you for sticking with me through everything.”

“You do not need to thank me,” he says, “though I am equally grateful for your staying with me.”

“Quite the impasse, huh.”

He chuckles. “Da. Very.”

You chuckle with him. “Alright, I’m gonna check the hint and figure out where I need to go next.”

“Khorosho. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will. I love you, Piotr.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You hang up after saying good-bye, then reach over to your nightstand for some tissues. You blow your nose, dry your face, then scan the bottom of the last page for the hint.

Hint: Go to the place where future finally started.

You sigh as you stare down at the line of text. What the fuck? Okay, okay, think like Piotr. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Protein bars. Four or five moments. Language, please.

You snicker to yourself, amused, then buckle down on figuring out what the hint means.

The phrase “finally started” seems to imply some sort of beginning –maybe a milestone or goal of sorts—that couldn’t –or wouldn’t—get going for some sort of reason. So, a milestone or goal in your relationship that was a frustratingly long time coming… a location attached to said milestone or goal…

You nearly smack yourself upside the head when it hits you. Of course.

 ***

 Admittedly, you’re not as sure of your guess on this hint as you are the other ones –but this is Piotr you’re dealing with, the antithesis of “pulling a fast one” if ever there was one.

Which is how you find yourself quietly padding through the medical wing at the mansion, counting off the rooms there until you find the right spot –the room where you’d gotten your diagnosis after the whole ordeal of getting hit in the head with Mikhail’s energy burst and recovering the repressed memories.

It’s empty –which is fortunate in multiple senses—save for one very blue, very furry Doctor Hank McCoy.

He looks up at you and smiles when you knock on the doorframe. “Y/N.” He picks up a white envelope with your name on it and holds it out to you. “I’ve been told it’s yours and Colossus’s anniversary.”

“It is,” you say as you accept the envelope. You gesture with your other hand, which is holding all the other envelopes you’ve collected. “He’s been sending me on a scavenger hunt.”

“Well, good luck and happy anniversary.” He pauses at the door as he heads out. “One of the healers will let you know if we need this room.”

And just like that, he’s gone.

You sit on the edge of the bed –there’s not really anywhere else to sit—and rip the envelope open.

Myshka,

It struck me that several points of our relationship have happened in medical wing. Between injuries from missions, other incidents, and aspects of your recovery, we have spent a great deal of time here.

I will admit now that I hope we do not continue this trend in the future.

You snort.

I know diagnosis was long time coming, and that we talked much about what it meant for our future, together and as individuals. However, I hope you know that my end-goal in our relationship has always been your –and, by proxy, our—well-being. I have always truly been happy to be your partner, whatever that looks like, regardless of whether you found diagnosis or not.

You smile softly and press your hand against your heart. I’ve always known, baby.

All that said, I am very happy you were able to find diagnosis –not just for what it means for our future, but for you as well. You are happier and more confident now that you are receiving best treatment, and I love you more every day as I watch you heal and grow into best version of yourself.

I love you and all your versions. Always.

Love,

Piotr

You have to wipe a few tears away from your eyes by the time you’re done reading the card. He’s such a mush. My mush.

It’s borderline staggering to think about how far you’ve come over the past few years. You went from being a kid trapped in their room to being an adult woman in charge of her own life and future –one who kicks a lot of ass, at that. You have friends, a family, colleagues, a job, a partner…

You’ve come a long way; you’ve got a lot to be proud of.

You smile to yourself for a moment, then scan the bottom of the card for the next hint.

Hint: go to gazebo.

You smirk. Well, at least this one’s easier to figure out than the last one.

***

 There’s a little white gazebo towards the far reaches of Xavier’s property. It’s a popular spot for teenaged residents to hook up at –and also a spot that you and Piotr have shared a couple picnics at. You know he likes to draw there –there’s some good views of various trees and flowers from the benches in the gazebo—so it’s not surprising that he would’ve tacked it on the list of “places to have Y/N go on during scavenger hunt.”

What is surprising, however, is that Mikhail’s sitting on one of the benches when you walk in.

He greets you with a slight smile and gestures with a white envelope. “I was told to wait here.”

“When did he tell you to wait here?” you ask with a short laugh.

“Earlier than necessary.” Mikhail hands off the card with a rueful chuckle. “I am supposed to say ‘happy anniversary’ also.”

“How many times did he remind you to say it?”

“Seven.”

You make a noise that’s somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “Well, I mean, it worked. You didn’t forget.”

Mikhail grunts. “I think I will not forget for next fifty years.”

“Sorry.”

He shrugs. “Could be worse. Anyway, I leave you to it.” He gives you a little wave, then promptly teleports away.

You shake your head –you’re still not used to that—then sit on one of the benches and open the envelope.

Myshka,

I know we have not shared many moments here, but there were two in particular that held enough significance that I felt need to include this spot on your little journey today.

You frown at the card for a minute until the “specific moments” he’s referring to hit you. Shit.

The aftermath of your nasty encounter with Dwight and the aftermath of the incident during the end of year school trip. Not exactly easy things to forget.

I know they are not pleasant memories, but to me they are important because when I was at my lowest moment, you were there to keep me from falling. You helped me find my sense of self and resolution to whatever internal conflict I was feeling; there are no words to describe just how grateful I am for that.

I think the reasons these memories stand out so strong to me is because I know you feel… you feel like do not bring your own merit to our relationship. That all I do is take care of you.

I just want you to know that you help me as much as you say I help you. You have helped and supported me so much in these past years, even if you do not see it. I hope one day you can see yourself how I see you: strong, confident, beautiful woman, with heart whose size is only rivaled by her spirit.

Love,

Piotr

You’re back to feeling overwhelmed and soft and so loved all over again.

You’ll never understand how you got so lucky; you’ve always felt so raw and feral around most of the X-Men, all sharp and rough edges and a little wild behind the eyes. Compared them, you’re a broken heap of junk, battered and fragile from years of abuse and mistreatment.

And then the sweetest, kindest, gentlest, most decent man that ever existed came along and saw a person worth loving instead of a junk heap.

You’re not entirely sure whether that makes you a person worth loving or a junk heap, at the end of all of it. Your self-esteem has improved by miles since arriving at Xavier’s –more so since starting therapy—but there are still days where you can’t look yourself in the mirror for fear of what you might see.

But Piotr is honest, in words and actions. If he refuses to put faith in a person –or even consider putting faith in a person—then that person has to be the most despicable, unredeemable piece of shit to have ever walked the face of the earth.

And if he loves you…

You have to step back from that train of thought before you get too overwhelmed and focus instead on what the next hint says.

Hint: go to chair outside Alyssa’s office.

You frown. It’s not hard to see why he would include a location in reference to your being in therapy; it’s been integral to your recovery –to say nothing of your relationship with Piotr—but he’s always so conscientious about keeping the boundaries between therapist and patient clear. You can’t imagine that he would ask Alyssa to hold onto an envelope for you…

Well, except the hint says the chair outside her office. Not Alyssa herself.

You get up off the bench with a grunt and head towards the house.

***

 There’s no envelope propped in the chair when you reach the area where the handful of counselors’ offices are housed.

For a moment, you panic that someone’s taken it –but Piotr’s more careful than that. He would’ve considered that this area of the mansion is open to multiple residents, and that placing a random envelope on the chair would leave it liable to be taken or get lost.

You slide your hands between the frame of the chair and the cushion, then underneath the cushion itself.

Nothing.

You frown. Where the hell is it? Did someone pick it up for me? Or throw it away?

You’re half-tempted to call him and ask him where he put it, but the stubborn part of you wants to figure this out all by yourself.

Okay, Y/N, think. If I were Piotr, and I was trying to leave a note where only one person would find it in an open space, where would I put it?

There’s not an obvious answer. Piotr is the antithesis of being secretive; even when he’s trying to surprise you, it’s still pretty easy to get at what he’s doing most of the time.

Okay, you tell yourself. His mom is in the mafia, formerly an assassin. Some of that has to have rubbed off on him –least of all knowing how to hide something.

But that doesn’t yield any fruitful answers either. The inner workings of an assassin are ultimately a mystery to you –intriguing, but not something you can identify with.

You almost give up before it hits you. I’m thinking about this the wrong way.

Today is about your relationship with him. If Piotr’s hiding something for you to find, then he’ll have hidden it in a place he knows you’ll look.

Okay. If I was going to hide a letter on a chair, where would I put it?

That’s an easy answer: you’d tape it to the underside of the chair.

You crouch down on all fours and peer under the chair –and, sure enough, there’s a white envelope with your name on it taped to the underside of the seat.

You pry it free, then retreat down the hall from the counseling offices until you feel like you’re a respectable enough distance from the space to read the next note.

Myshka,

I did not want to make it through today without mentioning your journey with therapy. I know it was scary for you at first, and watching you grow more comfortable with it and face down your problems leaves me so proud and inspired every day.

I also appreciate when you bring the knowledge you learn from your sessions into our relationship. I enjoy learning from you, and being able to grow with you is greatest privilege.

Love,

Piotr

You smile and sigh happily, feeling warm and loved from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You text Piotr a slew of heart emojis –and grin when he texts several back to you—before moving on to the next hint.

Hint: we got busted here.

Why can’t they all be “go to this place?” you ponder as you puzzle over the cryptic line of text. Why do I keep having to work for everything?

Truly, life’s greatest mystery.

Well, fortunately, there’s some strict limits to what “busted” could be. Piotr’s pretty strict about following the rules, and since it says “we,” that means you both crossed some sort of line.

You flip through your mental rolodex of times you managed to convince Piotr to break some sort of rule. What could it be?

You outright guffaw when it hits you, then take off for the jet hangar.

 ***

 It takes a couple tries –the X-Men have more than one jet, because apparently Charles has untold troves of wealth—but eventually you find an envelope addressed to you in one of the cockpit seats.

You smirk and take a moment to savor the memory –the one time you’d managed to convince Piotr to fuck you on a flight back from a mission—before opening the envelope.

Myshka,

I admit I still do not understand your desire to have sex in public spaces –though it does keep you quiet, so perhaps there is some benefit after all.

Your jaw drops. You have to reread the first line twice to be sure of what you’ve just read, then let out a shocked laugh as you dig your phone out of your pocket. “You little shit,” you say when Piotr picks up. “I’m sitting in the X-Jet –Piotr, you’re such a little shit—”

He bursts out laughing on the other end of the line, evidently immensely pleased with himself. “I mean, I am not wrong.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re so fucking clever,” you continue, grinning broadly. “I am gonna get you back so hard. You have no idea. You’re in for it, buster.”

He chuckles. “Have you read rest of note yet?”

“No. I was too shocked by your opening. I had to call you.”

“Evidently.”

You can practically hear the smug smile in his voice; you roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Vengeance is coming, Piotr. I will find a way to get you back.”

“Of that, I am certain.” He chuckles again. “I love you, myshka.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“I do not doubt it.”

You say good-bye, then hang up and finish reading the note.

Obviously, there is more to our relationship than intimacy –nor do I think intimacy as most important thing. However, I do appreciate intimacy I have with you. Aside from obvious payoffs, I appreciate the trust you place in me. I believe there is something inherently vulnerable in sex, and the fact that you are willing to share that vulnerability with me says I am doing something right, in my mind.

Even if you want to be vulnerable in… strange places.

Love,

Piotr

You can’t help but roll your eyes, but it is sweet. You do feel touched. “Honestly, it’s not that weird, Piotr. You’re the weird one.”

Whatever. He’s the weird one. Not you.

Hint: We celebrated an anniversary and Valentine’s Day here, and planned our first date here.

You grin, then dart out of the jet and in the direction of Piotr’s art studio.

***

 It’s not something you say often, but you love Piotr’s art studio. It’s quiet, it’s calm, and it’s so full of color and light and life that it’s impossible to not love.

But it’s more than that. Anyone who knows Piotr would know that his art studio is almost a direct look inside his brain. The way he organizes his pencils by hardness, color family, and purpose in little jars on the bookshelf next to his easel. The way he keeps his paints similarly stored, but in a drawer so they don’t get overexposed to heat. The way he keeps a few miscellaneous pencils and pens in a jar directly next to his easel, always within reach if he needs to start a new project.

Attention to detail. Making sure the space is functional, both for him and for the needs of his equipment.

It’s how he keeps his favorite, final pieces hung on the walls in perfect rows, right next to the pictures his students have drawn for him. How his regular desk is veritably stained with different colors and nearly overflows with supplies –they’re all organized, it’s more of a quantity thing—because he uses an angled desk for all his serious drawing so he doesn’t strain his back or arm.

He’s meticulous, yes, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that he’s truly passionate about his art.

It’s the fact that he has three wastebaskets for the room –one right next to his drawing desk, for pencil shavings or scrapped concepts, one next to the regular desk for random trash, and a larger one tucked in the corner for paint rags and drop cloths that need to be washed.

He’s practical –and a little anal at times, if you’re being honest.

You love him so much.

Ellie, Russell, and Yukio are all waiting for you in the art studio when you walk in. Ellie has a white envelope, Yukio has your purse, and Russell’s playing some sort of game on his phone for the two girls to watch while they wait for you.

Yukio beams as soon as you walk through the door. “Happy Anniversary!”

“Thanks.” You nod at your purse with a grin. “I take it I’m gonna be needing that?”

“Yup,” Russell confirms, popping the ‘p’ as he stows his phone away. “It’s already got everything you need.”

“Thanks, guys. I don’t suppose you know what’s going on at the end of the scavenger hunt?”

The three of them exchange a look, then all attempt to smother smiles with varying degrees of success –or lack thereof.

Ellie does the best job at it, unsurprisingly. She just stands and hands you the note. “Obviously.”

“Figured as much. I guess you’re not gonna tell me.”

“Nope.” She latches onto Yukio’s hand once her bubbly counterpart passes off your purse and heads out the door. “Happy Anniversary.”

“Happy Anniversary,” Russell chimes in, closing the door behind him.

You huff out a little laugh and shake your head, then sit down in the armchair Piotr keeps in his studio before tearing the envelope open.

Myshka,

This studio has seen many important memories; I think among my favorites are celebrating our anniversary here (the effort you went to still amazes me to this day), making costumes for your first Halloween, and planning our first date here.

It is not something I ever mentioned, but I was deeply excited to take you on our first date. I had known by then that I loved you deeply, so much so that it was difficult to take things slow –not that it was any hardship to me. I knew even before we got together that you would need time to heal and come into your own, and every single minute it has taken has been worth it to know you are happier and healthier.

What I mean to say is that I knew from beginning that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew from that date that there would never be anyone who compared to you or made me feel the way you did. Every single day with you is precious to me, more than you could ever know.

Happy Anniversary, my love. May we have many more.

Love,

Piotr

You sigh deeply and smile at the note, then dig your phone out of your pocket.

You: Every day with you is precious to me, too. I hope we have many more anniversaries in the years to come.

Babe: <3

You pocket your phone again, then flop back in the chair.

You wish that he would spend the day with you. This is your anniversary after all, and it only seems fitting that any activities or celebrations should include the two of you.

But he did say that he’d see you at the end of the day. And you know he’s still at the mansion –or that he’s been popping out for stuff and coming back.

You check your purse on a whim.

Your sunglasses are tucked inside, as is your wallet, chapstick, a little pack of tissues… and your car keys.

You check the bottom of the card for the next hint.

Hint: go to car.

You’re leaving the house, then, which implies that he needs you out and very distracted for a while; he’s definitely planning something big.

He brought his family and my uncle in, you think, chewing on your lower lip. He’s getting me out of the house. It’s our anniversary. Is he…

You tamp down the hope brewing in your chest before it can manifest into a full thought. You don’t want to start obsessing over anything, especially if it turns out your guessed wrong.

But it could…

You tuck the thought away before it can go anywhere, instead focusing on tucking all the envelopes into your purse. You extract your car keys and sunglasses –in hindsight, you should’ve done that before you put the envelopes in there—then head out to the garage.

 ***

 Sure enough, there’s an envelope waiting for you in the driver’s seat of your car –you almost sit on it by accident, but that’s neither here nor there.

Myshka,

I know we have not had many opportunities to travel together, but you are my favorite co-pilot.

Unless you drink Red Bull.

You really should not drink Red Bull. It is not healthy. It does not even taste good.

Love,

Piotr

Hint: Last stop on our first date.

Well, that’s plenty easy to figure out.

You make to the put the card and envelope in the purse with the others, but stop when you notice a tiny note on the other side of the envelope.

First date, car.

You blink. What the… oh.

It’s a reminder, a little note to help him remember what the hint was about and where the card needed to be placed.

It’s definitely very Piotr, because you would’ve forgotten to do anything like that if you’d been in charge of all this.

You snort and shake your head, then stick your key in the car’s ignition. Alright, I’ll need to fuel up—

Except your gas tank is already full –and your oil’s been changed, which you’ve been meaning to do for… well, you’ve been meaning to do it.

You: Did you fill up my tank?

You: And change my oil?

Babe: Oil light was on for seven months. It needed to be done.

You grin; he’s just the sweetest.

You: <3 Aw thanks

Babe: Of course. <3

You: Wait did I really forget for that long?

Babe: Yes.

You wince. You could’ve sworn the oil light only came on… maybe a few weeks ago?

You: Shit.

You consider leaving it there, but you can’t resist the opportunity to rib him a little bit.

You: Also, vegetables don’t taste good either.

You: Just saying.

You grin when he sends back a laughing-face emoji, then put your phone back in your purse and drive out of the garage.

***

 The little spot –technically it’s just the historical part of a larger city, renovated and restored to be a tourist spot—that Piotr took you to for your first date has been a frequent fixture of your dates since then. It’s quiet, it’s beautiful, and there’s plenty do to there regardless of the time of year.

You stroll through the park that leads into the area with all the shops, admiring the greening trees and scads of flowers. It’s still the bare beginning of summer, meaning that everything’s still growing and coming back to life –and that it isn’t unbearably hot, which is always a win.

You do make a beeline towards the chocolate shop Piotr had taken you to at the end of your first date once you reach the street, though. It’s almost noon, you’re hungry, and chocolate strawberries sound like the perfect pick-me-up. You’re a woman on a mission, and nothing is going to stop you—

Except Neena is waiting for you outside the shop, eating chocolate covered cherries out of a paper bag and looking cooler than everyone else in a two-mile radius.

Which, admittedly, is worth at least pausing for.

She grins when you walk up to her and pulls you into a hug. “Hey! Happy Anniversary!”

“Thank you! And hey yourself!” You raise an eyebrow at her when you step back. “I’m guessing you have an envelope for me?”

“Yup!” She pulls an envelope out of her purse and hands it to you. “Have you been enjoying the scavenger hunt so far?”

“I have!” You smile softly as you run your fingers along the top edge of the envelope. “It’s kind of like taking a walk down our relationship’s memory lane.”

“That’s awesome.” She pops another chocolate covered cherry into her mouth, then straightens up and stretches. “Well, I need to get on the road. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Alright.” You exchange hugs once more, then watch her go, replaying her words over in your head.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

Which seems to imply that Neena might be around at the end of the scavenger hunt, whatever that is. And that, combined with the fact that your uncle and his family is here…

Your stomach growls, jolting you from your reverie. Right. Food. Specifically chocolate covered strawberries.

Piotr texts you after you’ve made your purchase and are on your way out of the shop.

Babe: Do not just eat chocolate for meal.

You snort –but you can’t pretend to be offended, considering that had been your whole plan.

You: Fine.

You: But only for you.

Babe: <3

You swing by the sandwich shop that he’d taken you to for your first date; you get a sandwich and a drink to go, then walk back through the park.

And then you see the bench the two of you had sat on after stopping at the chocolate shop, and –well—it just seems too perfect.

You send a picture of your sandwich to Piotr.

You: Proof that I got real food.

You: Also I’m sitting on the bench we sat on at the end of our first date. :)

You: I just wish you were here with me.

Babe: I am very happy you have real food.

Babe: I wish I was with you also.

Babe: We will see each other later. I promise.

You tuck your phone back in your purse, then tuck into your sandwich.

It’s a little weird being out of the house without Piotr –or someone else, at least. Given your track record for getting kidnapped –not that it was your prerogative to get kidnapped—or into general trouble, you rarely leave Xavier’s; if you do, it’s always with someone, if only to make sure you aren’t being stalked or aren’t in danger.

But this is an area Piotr knows well; it’s as safe a place for you to be as anywhere else, all things considered.

That, and he probably figured you would’ve been pissed off if he’d assigned you a babysitter for the day.

Which, admittedly, you would’ve been.

Besides, there isn’t even a modicum of suspicious activity in the park today. Kids are playing on the playground, parents are watching from nearby, the odd jogger or dog walker are strolling along the walking paths. It’s completely normal.

You’re also sitting at a highly visible point that isn’t easy to sneak up on, and have the ferocity of the average badger. That, and I can just stomp anyone who tries to mess with me. No way in hell I’m getting kidnapped on my anniversary. No way, no how, no doing.

You take a deep breath and focus on your environment for a moment to bring yourself back to the present. You’re safe, and you’ve done everything you need to do to stay safe. No need to obsess on it to the point of freaking yourself out.

You tie into the strawberries once you finish your sandwich –Piotr’s habit of “saving treats for later” still hasn’t rubbed off on you—then wipe your hands on a napkin when you’re all said and done before opening the envelope.

Myshka,

It goes without saying, but I truly enjoy our date time. Whether we are going out to for day or staying in to watch movies, any time I can spend with you is wonderful.

I truly value your companionship. You make my days brighter, regardless of what happens. I am looking forward to spending many bright days with you in years to come.

Love,

Piotr

You smile down at the card –despite the fact that the passersby probably think you look a little nuts—and sigh happily.

You love him. You love him so much it hurts.

Hint: You were impressed when I took you here for dinner.

You chuckle to yourself and toss your lunch trash in a nearby trashcan before heading to your car. Yes, darling, I was very impressed.

***

 The drive out to Grant’s restaurant takes a decent chunk of time; it’s mid-afternoon by the time you arrive, and you haven’t managed to figure out who you’re supposed to meet between leaving the place where you’d gone on your first ever date and arriving at the restaurant.

You know Grant is an old friend of Piotr’s, and it makes sense that he might want his friend involved in today in some way, shape, or form; you, however, don’t know Grant all that well. Everyone that you’ve gotten envelopes from today have been people you’ve known for a long time or Piotr’s direct family.

That, and you can’t see Piotr asking Grant to help while the restaurant was open. Your boyfriend’s courteous to a fault at times, and you know he wouldn’t want to throw a wrench into Grant’s workday –especially if something went wrong or you got caught in traffic.

You suppose it might be possible that Piotr would leave the envelope with a hostess, but that seems to contradict the whole “using people we both know” things—

And then Nikolai and Alexandra get out of their car the same time you get out of yours, which completely answers any questions about what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing right now.

“Hi!” You exchange hugs with Alex, then Nikolai. “I didn’t realize you two were in town as well!”

“Surprise visit,” Nikolai says with a smile. “We were told to keep secret.”

You raise an eyebrow; that only confirms that your boyfriend is up to something, and that he’s got some sort of surprise waiting for you when you finally head back home, whenever that is. “Do you two know what’s going on?”

“Of course,” Alex says with a grin. “Medvezhonok sent us here for lunch date.”

You can’t help but smile. Sweet and thoughtful in everything he does.

“Oh.” She withdraws an envelope from her purse. “And to give you this.”

“Yeah.” You open your own purse and show off your growing collection. “I’ve been getting several of those today. Am I close to the end of the hunt?”

Alexandra smirks and shrugs, while Nikolai makes a bigger show of not knowing the answer.

“Alright. I get it. That’s for you to know and for me to find out.”

Alexandra chuckles. “Basically.”

“Well, I hope you have a good lunch date. The food here is amazing –oh, and Piotr did the artwork here for his friend. You’ll be able to see it in the dining room.”

Both of the Rasputin parents express their delight over the new knowledge before exchanging hugs and goodbyes with you and heading inside.

You opt to head back to your car and open the envelope as you plop down into the driver’s seat.

Myshka,

I admit that it took me time to adjust to your not liking being spoiled –at least, not with overly grand gestures. Perhaps I am dated, but I do believe that it is man’s duty to spoil woman he loves. Which, of course, is not to say that women cannot spoil their partners, or that gestures of affection should not be mutual effort. However, after watching my father love and take care of my mother growing up, I knew that his behavior –generosity, romantic, unabashed kindness—was something I wanted to emulate; I like to think it has not led me wrong.

And though I am sensible –as you so often call me—I do like charm and romance of grand gestures. I enjoy planning and anticipation that goes into such things. I enjoy watching your face light up when you realize what I’ve done. I am happy to tailor my ideas to your comfort and preferences, but I do appreciate when you let me “pull out all stops,” as it were.

At any rate, I hope you will not spend today worrying over whether you have done enough for me. My pleasure today truly comes from watching you be happy… and possibly later, if I know you as well as I think I do.

Love,

Piotr

You snort and pull your phone out of your purse.

You: You’re definitely right about later. ;)

Piotr: I will keep that in mind. ;)

You chuckle and shake your head as you put your phone away, then sit back in the driver’s seat to think for a minute.

He’s right that you’re not one for grand gestures. There’s something about over-the-top dates or lavish gesture that just… make you feel like collapsing in on yourself until you disappear from view.

Well, that’s not completely right. You don’t mind doting on Piotr. It’s being doted on that makes you feel uneasy.

If you were to guess, you would say that a lifetime of feeling like you weren’t worth anything and always feeling subpar in the eyes of everyone probably damaged your self-esteem to the point where any sort of gesture –romantic or otherwise—made you feel uneasy and unworthy, and that the grander the gesture, the more you feel convinced that the person doing it will realize that you’re not worth it and abandon you, and… ah, shit.

You take a deep breath and make a note on your phone to talk to Alyssa about it in your session, then do some meditation to calm yourself down. Existential revelations can wait, dammit; today is your day to be happy.

You open your eyes once you’re feeling calm and positive again, then check the card for the next hint.

Hint: Not best day we had, but I still appreciated my time with you here.

You frown and start racking your brain. Does he mean personal? Did we go on a date that ended badly?

That’s what makes the most sense, considering that the scavenger hunt clues have all tied into your relationship or locations that feature heavily in your relationship –but you and Piotr haven’t really had any bad dates. The only one that stands out is…

Is the movie date where you were both kidnapped and taken to Dwight’s lair.

It’s possible, but something doesn’t feel right about it. You know that event was deeply, deeply scarring for Piotr. You seriously doubt that he’d take you back to the theatre where you were both taken; that, and the card said “day,” which implies that the bad event was limited to a single day. The two of you had been in Dwight’s clutches longer than that, which would further rule it out.

You spend several minutes racking for your brain, but the movie-date-turned-kidnapping is the only bad date you can think of. You can’t even remember a date where the two of you had a fight or an argument; you tend to keep things contained to the mansion, specifically your shared bedroom so you don’t upset any of the other residents. Any time the two of you get to spend alone together is sacrosanct, and you’re both careful to keep it that way.

When you don’t come up with something after a few more minutes of fruitless pondering, you give in and call Piotr.

“Privet.”

“Babe, I can’t figure out the most recent clue. I’m trying to think of any bad dates we’ve had, but all I can think of is the movie date where we got kidnapped by Dwight’s goons?” you explain. “Am I forgetting another really bad date we went on, or is that what you meant?”

“Nyet, nyet, nyet,” Piotr exclaims quickly –which was the response you expected. “Absolutely not. No, I meant beach. Where we took kids, and residents disliked my being Russian.”

“Oh! Duh.” You can’t help but laugh. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

“I think it was hint. I worded it poorly. I was considering making it ‘you dropped me in water here,’ but I was not sure if you knew what I meant…”

“No, I would’ve guessed that right away,” you say when his voice trails off, grinning impishly. “I can remember all the times I punked you, big guy.”

“Impressive, considering you do it so often.”

You cackle. “Hey! I’m not that bad!

“Konechno net. You are model resident.”

“Exactly. I never break the rules.”

“…”

“I don’t hear you agreeing, baby.”

“Lying is unethical, myshka.”

You laugh along with him. “Very funny.”

“I try.”

“And you succeed.” You stretch your back, then jam the envelope and card in your purse along with the others. “Alright, I’m gonna get going. I love you, Piotr.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

You hang up, then start your car and pull out of the parking lot outside Grant’s restaurant.

You’ve got a lot of driving ahead of you.

***

 You reach the beach a couple hours later –you have to stop and refuel along the way, which adds a little time to your trip.

You inhale deeply as you step out of the car. The smell of salt in the air is strong, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore is deeply soothing.

You take a minute to lean against the hood of your car, enjoying the breeze and the scenery. So far, everyone you’ve need to meet up with has found you or been in plain sight. You can afford to take a minute to relax and stretch your legs.

And sure, enough, you don’t have to wait long to figure out who you need to talk to next. Before you can start to wonder if you should get up and look around, you spot Wade and Nate strolling along the beach, hand in hand.

You grin, hop of the hood of your car, and traipse across the sand so you can greet them. “Hey, guys!”

Wade pulls you into a massive hug. “‘Hey’ yourself, crackerjack!”

Nate hugs you from the side once Wade sets you down. “How’re you doing, kid?”

“Really good. It’s been a fun day.”

Wade waggles his nonexistent eyebrows at you. “And it’ll be more fun once you and Metallica are finally alone together.”

“Yeah, well, that’s for me and me alone to know, dorkus.”

“Gasp!” Wade presses his hand against his chest, feigning offense. “See if I give you the next step in your scavenger hunt now!”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “You do realize I could just take it from you, right? I’ve won nearly every fight we’ve ever gotten in.”

“Prepare to get your ass kicked, little sis.” He pulls a white envelope out of his hoodie pocket and holds it above your head. “Boom! Whatcha gonna do now!”

You give him a flat look, then hover up until you’re at eye level with his hand and pluck the envelope from his fingers.

“Dammit! Forgot about that!”

Nathan just chuckles. “It was a good try, handsome.”

“Define ‘good,’” you tease as you drop lightly onto the sand.

“Fine! See if I share my Gushers with you from now on!”

“I take everything back.”

Nathan shakes his head and smirks. “You’re both insane.”

“And?” You and Wade ask simultaneously.

“You’re dating me,” Wade adds. “And you basically adopted her.”

“Pretty sure that makes you the crazy one,” you agree with a nod.

“Whatever.” Nate latches onto Wade’s hand and squeezes gently. “We ought to head out.”

“Yup,” Wade concurs, popping the ‘p.’ “We’ll let you read your little love note in private; we’ll see you back at the mansion.”

“See you there.” You make your good-byes, then watch them walk towards the parking lot next to the beach, contemplating where to read your latest note at.

You could always sit in your car again, like you did at Grant’s restaurant, but… it is a really gorgeous day out…

You spy a picnic bench a few yards away and decide to sit there so you can better enjoy the sun, sand, and surf. Once you’re comfortably seated, you open the envelope and start reading the card inside.

Myshka,

During years I have known you, I have come to appreciate you in many ways –especially your ferocious love for those you care deeply for.

Perhaps it is because I am more passive, but your tenacity and protectiveness astounds me. I so often worry over offending others or taking wrong steps in confrontation that I forgo it altogether –which, as you have seen, does not always result well. You are so unbelievably brave and bold, and I admire you so much for it.

I hope that, as we go through life together, I can learn from you how to be braver and bolder myself.

Love,

Piotr

You can’t help but smile –part soft and part shocked—and lower the card so you can process everything you’re feeling.

It’s difficult to wrap your head around, to say the least. You’ve never felt particularly brave –bold, yes, but that doesn’t always put things in your favor. At any rate, there’s a lot that still scares you. You still have regular nightmares about your childhood, and while your anxiety is better, it’s still a daily struggle you have to work through. “Brave” is far from the first word you would use to describe yourself.

But, then, you’d probably default to words like “dumbass,” or “dork,” so maybe your opinion isn’t the end all, be all in this situation.

And, just maybe, there’s some truth in that. The perception and opinion of self is important, sure, but maybe there are times where you aren’t the best authority on your defining features. After all, how long have you called yourself “worthless,” and yet Piotr can see so many amazing qualities in you?

Piotr, whose honesty is one of his most defining qualities. Piotr, who invests in everyone around him and works to help them find the best in themselves. Piotr, who loves you and adores you despite your flaws.

Maybe… maybe you’re not as bad or “worthless” or “monstrous” as you think you are –as you’ve been told you are.

You sigh as you reflect on how far you’ve come and how hard you’ve worked to improve. I don’t know about brave… but I’ve made it through a lot. You smile to yourself. I guess I’m pretty tough, at least.

Tough’s good. Tough means endurance, and you’ve definitely got that in spades.

You let out a quiet, giddy laugh, then lift the card so you can read the hint.

Hint: Come back home.

Excitement sparks in your gut, and you tap out a quick message to Piotr letting him know you’re coming home before springing up and running to your car (well, as much as you can run on sand).

It’s time to see what your darling boyfriend’s been up to.

***

 It’s mid-evening when you pull into the gravel drive outside the mansion –and you’re immediately greeted by all the students, Ellie, Russell, and Yukio included.

You park your car a couple yards away from them. “Hey, guys,” you say as you step out. “What’s going on?”

“Mr. Colossus said to take you to the back yard,” Timothy says, grinning excitedly.

“You have to close your eyes though,” Kitty adds, lips stretched into a similarly enthralled grin.

You raise an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. And you all are gonna help me get to the back?” You chuckle when you get a chorus of “yeahs,” then close your eyes and hold out your hands. “Okay. Just don’t run me into anything.”

Several little hands latch onto your arms, and then you’re being half-guided, half-led away from the driveway and –presumably—towards the back of the Institute. Most of the kids are shorter than you and don’t understand anything about “walking calmly,” so it’s a little jerky and stuttered, but eventually you come to a stop.

“Can I open my eyes now?” you ask.

“Yup,” Ellie says. “Go ahead.”

You open your eyes –and immediately gasp out loud. “Oh my gosh!”

The backyard directly behind the house has been completely transformed –you almost don’t recognize it.

There are tables draped with soft white tablecloths, lined with white folding chairs –the nice kind that you’ve seen at expensive, catered events—and decorated with vases of small, pink flowers off to the side.

Twinkling fairy lights are strung everywhere; someone –several people, actually, there’s no way one person could’ve done all this—has put up delicate metal trellises and draped the lights over them, thus casting the space in a soft, almost aethereal glow.

Everyone’s here, too. The students, the teachers and staff, your uncle and found family, Piotr’s family, the other residents. There’ll all standing or sitting at the edges of the lit space, smiling at you as you take in all the changes.

And, at the other end of the space –a little further back so it doesn’t pick up glare from the fairy lights—is a projection screen.

“Here.” Ellie takes you by the elbow and moves you so you can see the screen better. “Stand here.”

“What on Earth is going on?” you ask, whipping your head around as a few people chuckle. “Where’s Piotr?”

Ellie just nods at the screen. “Watch.”

You turn your head back to the screen as it lights up. Soft guitar music players from speakers set up somewhere, not that you can find them—

And then a picture of you and Piotr flits onto the screen –specifically, one of the two you dressed as Persephone and Hades for Halloween.

Your face splits into a giant grin.

A slide show starts, slowly flipping from picture to picture, charting the course of your relationship.

There’s one from the first time you’d ever carved pumpkins; someone had managed to get a shot of Piotr watching you with an adorable, lovestruck expression on his face.

Another from your first Christmas season away from home –it’s of the two of you making snowmen together.

You grin when one of the pictures Wade had taken of the two of you kissing under mistletoe pops up; it’s still one of your favorite pictures of all time.

There’s a selfie Piotr had taken of the two of you early in the morning where you’re kissing his cheek –and one at the end of your first stay with him at his art retreat house where you can see a hickey peeking over the collar of your shirt, and oops that’s kind of scandalous.

The slideshow is as much of a walk down memory lane as the scavenger hunt; each picture brings crystal clear, golden-hued memories to your mind’s eye, dragging you further and further into a sea of lovestruck nostalgia.

You’re smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

The slideshow also shows the extent of Piotr’s picture taking prerogative –obsession, whatever. There’s at least a hundred pictures, from the incredibly mundane –the two of you in your pajama, eating bowls of cereal—to the more elaborate –a more staged ‘end of the year’ picture that you’d both dressed up and posed for.

You cackle with everyone else when the picture Wade had taken of the two of you “doing” Seven Minutes in Heaven shows on the screen. Oh, no way in hell Piotr put that in there. Holy shit.

The slideshow ends with the last picture Aiden had taken of you and Piotr kissing –the one where he’d been completely armored down and had cupped your face with his hands.

You smile happily as you wipe away a few tears from the corners of your eyes. You’re beyond speechless, even as the screen goes dark; you can’t remember the last time anyone did anything this nice or elaborate for you, even for something as important as an anniversary.

A large hand settles on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “Privet, myshka.”

You whirl around and immediately pull your boyfriend down into a passionate kiss.

His hand comes up the back of your head, while his arm wraps around your back –he’s got something in his other hand, not that you can be bothered to care right now—effectively holding you to him.

You can’t remember the last time a kiss has felt this good –which isn’t to say that all the other kisses you’ve had with him have been bad. But between the anticipation of wanting to see him all day, the excitement of not knowing what’s going on, and the emotional journey of the scavenger hunt and the slideshow… you’re in a state, to say the least.

Piotr, fortunately, picks up on your extra emotional –and hormonal—state and breaks the kiss before you can start wholesale undressing him in front of everyone. He strokes the swell of your cheeks with his thumb, smiling broadly, then pulls his arm away from your back. “These are for you.”

You gasp at the sight of the massive –and it really is, holy shit how much did he spend on these—bouquet of roses he’s holding out to you. You have to sling your purse strap over your shoulder so you can hold all of them properly. “Piotr –what—”

“Happy Anniversary, moya lyubov’.” He helps you get the flowers settled in the crook of your right arm, then kisses your temple gently. “Have you had good day?”

“Yes. Oh my goodness, it’s been amazing. How did you do all of this?”

“Much planning.” He smiles, clearly pleased with himself and the situation. “Did you enjoy scavenger hunt?”

“I loved it, Piotr. It –this is all so amazing. I don’t deserve all of this –I don’t even have a present for you—”

He shushes you gently, wiping a stray tear off your cheek. “Tische, myshka. I told you today was about you. That I would get my joy later.”

“Okay, but—” Your brain starts processing again, and you finally realize that he’s dressed up in a suit.

A nice suit. Crisp, perfectly tailored (which isn’t easy, considering that he is Large), and black, with a white button-down shirt and a blue and purple tie that makes his eyes pop.

You sputter –your brain’s working, but your mouth isn’t, evidently. “W -why are you wearing—” you gesture haphazardly at him with your free hand “—why are you wearing a suit? Why does the backyard look like this? What’s even going on?”

He grins, eyes sparkling with excitement. “Happy Anniversary, myshka.”

And then he pulls a black velvet box out of an inner jacket pocket and gets down on one knee.

You gasp and clap your free hand over your mouth.

“Y/N L/N,” Piotr says, voice shaking a little but undeniably overjoyed and excited. “I have waited for so long to have opportunity to do this –and it has been worth every single minute. You are beautiful, intelligent, funny, kind, and you own my whole heart. I knew from moment that I told you I loved you that I wanted to spend my life with you. I knew that this journey would be difficult, and we might never reach this point—” he stops to take a breath and lets out an excited giggle “—but here we are. I love you. Will you please be my wife?”

You’re crying. You never thought you’d cry when Piotr proposed –several years ago you never even thought you’d be getting proposed to—but you’re definitely crying now.

You love him. You love him so much. He’s the universe’s gift to you, a reparation for everything you’ve had to suffer through to get to this point.

There couldn’t have possibly been a better gift, which is why there’s only one possible answer to his question.

“Yes,” you eke out amidst a steady trickle of tears and nervous-energy laughter. “Yes!”

Piotr’s eyes light up while everyone else cheers. He stands, pulling you into a hug and kissing you like you’ve given him the most precious thing in the world.

Which, you suppose makes sense, considering he’s just done the same for you.

He breaks the kiss again –though it takes him longer than before, which you count as a win—then delicately plucks the ring out of the box and slides it down your left ring finger, and—

It’s gorgeous. A sparkling solitaire diamond on a gold band. Big enough to look nice, but not so big that you won’t be able to get your flight gloves over it. It’s clear he put a lot of thought in making sure it would integrate well into your life and mesh with your tastes.

You kiss him again. And again. And again. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

This is your forever.

***

 There’s a party afterwards with everyone at the mansion –catered by Grant, no less.

“My second-in-command’s got it,” he says when you ask him about his restaurant. “We do catering gigs all the time, we’ve got it figured out. Besides—” he nudges Piotr in the side “—I couldn’t say no to this one.”

Aiden and his team are present as well; apparently, they were taking pictures of you during the slideshow, then of you and Piotr during the actual proposal. Not that you noticed –though you did have a good reason to be distracted, in your defense.

They keep taking pictures throughout the evening –between rounds of helping themselves to the food at Piotr’s instruction, since “it is dinnertime; not good to skip meals.”

You get hugs and-slash-or congratulations from everyone –including Scott, which is proof positive that he can, in fact, act like a decent fucking human being every now and then.

Wade hugs you so hard that your ribs hurt. “Oh my Francis! This is even better than three mini-lion robots coming together to former a super lion robot.”

You laugh as he sets you back down. “Damn. That’s a pretty high standard to meet.”

Nate’s far more gentle. “Congratulations, kid. You two are great together.”

“Well, I certainly hope so.” You raise an eyebrow about him. “How long did you know about this for?”

Nathan smiles and shrugs. “A while. He asked for my permission, so I had a pretty decent head’s up.”

Something warm and tender settles in your chest, and you have to clear your throat a couple times before you speak again. “Does that mean you’re walking me down the aisle?”

His smile softens further and he nods. “I’d be honored.”

Piotr’s family is similarly excited. They flock around the two of you, overjoyed and more than a bit emotional—

Well, three out of four of them are overjoyed and more than a bit emotional. Mikhail’s default setting in any emotional setting seems to be “snark.”

Then again, Mikhail’s default setting in general seems to be “snark.”

“Well, that was disgustingly wholesome,” he says with a smirk –which earns him a pinch in the side from Illyana (which is definitely a punishment, considering how strong her hands are from playing violin).

You can already tell that the comment’s ruffling Piotr’s feathers in the absolute wrong way, but you can also see where Mikhail was trying to be funny and fell flat.

You decide to respond with humor before your boyfriend –no, he’s your fiancé now—gets too prickly. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back to the regularly scheduled debauchery as of nine tomorrow morning.”

Mikhail laughs, then seems to finally notice Piotr’s icy expression –or, more likely, Illyana gave him a psychic tip off that he done hecked up—and switches course immediately. He clasps his younger brother’s shoulder –and actually has to reach up to do so, which is a little amusing to you—and gives Piotr a genuine smile. “I am proud of you. Happy for you. You picked good one.”

That seems to soothe Piotr, at least a little. He smiles down at you and squeezes your hand in his. “Best one there is.”

Your uncle comes up last, once the crowd has thinned a little –though it’s worth noting that Aiden an his team don’t try to get any pictures with him in it (when you ask Piotr later, he explains that he forewarned Aiden that your uncle didn’t like having his picture taken and made sure that Aiden and his coworkers would be able to work with that).

His eyes are noticeably misty –heck, yours are too—when he pulls you in for a hug. “Proud of you, punk. So fucking proud.”

“I’m proud of you, too,” you say as you hold him tight. “We’ve both come a long way, huh?”

“Yeah,” he concedes, swiping at his eyes once he lets you go. “We have.”

Eventually, the party comes to an end. Grant and his team pack up their equipment, Aiden’s and his coworkers put away their cameras, and the youngest students are sent to bed while the other residents head off to do their own things.

As for you and Piotr, the two of you head off to your shared room for some well-deserved one-on-one time. You wind up snuggling in bed –though, admittedly, that’s not the first thing the two of you do.

Because neither of you had been kidding about finding pleasure at the end of the night.

You admire your ring and the way it sits on your finger for the umpteenth time as Piotr traces gentle, slow circles up and down your bare back. You wiggle your fingers back and forth, then giggle, giddy and overjoyed.

Piotr’s lips press against your forehead. “Happy?”

“Very.” You tilt your head back to kiss him properly, passionately. “I love you, Piotr.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

You wriggle a little in his arms so you can see his face better. “How long did you plan all this for? And how did you keep me from finding out?”

“I knew how I wanted to propose… since our first anniversary,” he says after a moment of thought. “I did not start making cards until your diagnosis, though. I did not want to run risk of you finding them and panicking that I would leave you if we could never get married.”

You smooth your hand over his shoulder. “Yeah, there was probably some prudence there.”

“As for keeping everything secret, I just kept it all in my art studio,” he explains with a smile. “I figured you would not look there.”

“Yeah, well, you were right. Not that I would’ve gone snooping through your stuff, but yeah. I would’ve never looked there.”

He kisses the top of your head. “Did you like everything today? I was worried it would be too taxing or obnoxious—”

“It was perfect,” you reassure him, and his responding smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over. “I loved it. I just feel bad that I didn’t have anything for you. Honestly… I kinda forgot that today was our anniversary until I read the first card this morning.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “No worries. I enjoyed today immensely.” He smirks, then kneads the flesh of your hip with his hand. “Besides, I knew I would get mine later.”

“Well, yeah.” You sling your arms around his neck and smile excitedly. “We’re gonna get married.”

His responding smile is equally excited. “Da. I know.”

You kiss him and let out a happy sigh. “I love you.”

His arms wind around you. “And I love you.”

“Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.”

He kisses your cheek sweetly. “Happy Anniversary, myshka.”