#it's ok to include it of course; it's usually a bit more detailed than the global maps

[etchif]

Kind of weird that for many birds that are found in multiple places across the globe including the Americas, Merlin shows you a specific american range map first before showing you the whole range map. What is the point of this

[whosthere54]

Ok ok ok Royal au Royal au ararararah

now to yap about my Royal au cause I’m normal. (Longer post- I just infodump about my AU basically-)

So what I have in drafts is all mainly brothers or prison duo centric, as if you know my fics I usually write from Icarus’s perspective on things. The main ships I would be focusing on are ghaae, nightingstar, Wolftross, and then prison duo- but I have cameos of all of the cannon ships of course. I’m gonna kind of just go through and explain roles of my main guys tho- so hope you like this as a sort of starting summary? I guess?

Icarus is the crown prince of the gilded kingdom. Basically the other full representative of the overworld who’s not Fable. Basically, they are heir to the throne, have to maintain a public image, help Fable out with royal duties and pretty much prepare to be the next monarch to ensure a smooth transition if “mortal king Fable” passes away. (He can’t die- I’ll get to that maybe- but yknow. God.)

I’ll talk about Isla and things later in this post, so I won’t mention it now- but yeah. Icarus is the only heir to the gilded kingdom.

Centross is Icarus’s bodyguard (yes I’m going down that road for the prison duo content. I’m so unpredictable /silly/sarc/lh) Royal guard? Close enough probably. Which- idk if I have to get into what he does. I think you can assume. Protection stuff. He was a former assassin, having used to work with Enderian. I’m doing a cliche maybe- but- yknow- he was sent to kill Icarus, ended up unable to do so… so now he’s a bodyguard for them instead of going back to Enderian. (There’s probably a promise of mutual protection somewhere- I’m sure Icarus would not have let Fable give them a bodyguard before then, and when he did they’d make it everyone’s problem- instead wanting to prove they could protect themself. There’s something there. Yeah.)

Wolftross is yes a thing, I think they were probably together for a while- maybe not long after he first became a royal guard. At Icarus’s request, he can visit Fenris whenever he wants probably. Easton replaces him when he’s gone (even after he became blind- at Icarus’s request he will continue that role. They trust him- and he’s capable.)

In the one thing I wrote, I gave him end features as well. I’m moreso debating on that- but I think it’d be a cool thing as a byproduct of being one of Enderian’s closest advisors and trusted assasin. Or- I give them to him later when he gets to be god. He gets them at some point- for me.

Rae is the crown prince of the end kingdom- full representative of the end that is not Enderian. I’d think she gives him more freedom than Icarus gets from fable, her being the end mother she is. She did have the same I guess cruel past that she does in cannon- I’m trying to figure out how I’m translating s1 into this AU still, and maybe you’ll get a oneshot of that eventually. Atleast the prison arc- of course. He left the gilded kingdom (either with Isla, or later on his own I have drafts for. But- probably with Isla) and lived with Isla for a bit- she runs for help from soul and things like in cannon and she helps hide them for a bit. Though- Isla ends up having Rae stay with Enderian. She probably stays as long as she can without compermising Rae’s safety, but maybe gets caught by Fable eventually.

Fenris is Rae’s bodyguard. He is a former general for the Nether’s army, just like in cannon. (I have to rewatch some of his lore before confidently talking about how he gets to become Rae’s bodyguard, so I’m sorry I won’t have too much info at the moment <3)

He becomes Rae’s bodyguard later- Enderian probably heard of his reputation as “the wolf” and hired him. (May try to include the wolf arc- but am again, trying to figure out how to integrate it.)

Now- basic plot summary? Something of the sort? Yeah. Some random details too cause I have no one train of thought ever and am just writing whatever I think of down. /lh

So for some backstory- Islas story is basically the same as in lore. But it changes for that bit after Rae was born just to adhere to the different circumstances Royal AU brings to the table. So, Rae grows a bit before Isla takes him and runs in this AU- he’s older, couldn’t tell you how old (age is a lie/silly/j) but just. A child. She notices how he’s being treated by Fable, takes him and leaves. She doesn’t take Icarus. There’s a lot of consideration for that fact- of course there is. Their her child. But- they’re not close, Fable makes sure of that. They spend most of their time with him, and their his heir after all. Their disappearance would be the worst to explain. So she doesn’t take them with her.

She takes Rae, and over the course of a few years- stays in a sort of safe house like in cannon, learns the things she does there, goes to soul for help, all that stuff. But she ends up taking Rae to Enderian, he becomes crown prince. She stays with them until it compromises Rae’s safety. Fable finds her, she doesn’t give away that she’d stayed with Enderian and that stays secret for a long time. Fable finds her, messes with her memories and things (he’s messed with Icarus’s too at this point- probably erasing Rae entirely) end she goes into a coma. He locks her away, Icarus doesn’t even know she’s here- and ends up having no memories of her anyways. Only fable knows where she’s locked away. Some tower in the castle sleeping beauty style probably.

Rae grows up in the end kingdom, Icarus grows up in the overworld.

Rae meets Caspian in the end prison- advocating for his freedom and things. He gets him a place in the end kingdom, and they get together at a peaceful festival in the overworld. That is an annual festival- Rae meets aax and takes her there too. He and Cas talk- and probably end up asking Aax out there too- making a whole day out of it probably. It’s a tradition for them, after all.

Aax lives with Cas, and Rae stays with them on weekends? Mayhaps? Something like that. He’s allowed to visit them whenever.

I like to think maybe Cas helps Athena and Bruin run the bakery on occasion. Bed and breakfast. Idk. Rae is definelty still the taste tester on Aax safe foods. And also a waiter on opening day for multiple reasons- one, it’s funny- two, yknow. Royal press. Media(?) purposes. Yknow what I mean hopefully.

Also- end kingdom I think had parts in the overworld and end? Like- overworld has the stronghold portal as the center and then made a kingdom around that, and then there’s an end part of the kingdom. This was probably a result of a peace treaty Isla had led years before between the realms after the war. Because badass mother deserves it. But to explain that- yeah. I think the Nether doesn’t- but has a trading hub spreading through portals and things. Yknow. Just not kingdom- I think the overworld is still more cold to people from the nether so. No kingdom. But portals can be made anywhere instead of having just one like the end, so that makes sense.

Gilded kingdom is just the biggest kingdom in the overworld areas we know- as Fable is the god of creation. I just have cool ideas for kingdom designs. May build them in Minecraft actually who knows- (if I do I will in fact post the pictures)

The Aether kingdom was a thing for souls and stuff as it was in cannon, but fell the same way. Alerion and Will live peacefully in one of the overworld kingdoms living normal lives away from everything, as they deserve.

A lot of the fable characters probably lives in the overworld, and just travel between realms.

Athena’s house probably has an area like his lab, where half is in the overworld and half is in the nether. If not, maybe their bed and breakfast- or atleast she has some nether bakery locations maybe with nether specific treats! Cause I think they deserve it and I just think it’d be cool.

Will has a cartographers shop in his village- like a cartographer villager type thing.

Rae has his archives he runs in his kingdom, there are two- one in the overworld part and one in the nether.

Starbarks definelty exists, does Fenris cannonly in this AU run all of the businesses he runs in actual cannon? Probably not. Do they exist? Probably.

Ven works as a close advisor for Fable, and Ari is hired as a knight or general of a sort for fable. Maybe more like a spy. Cat scratch records exist probably.

The world sisters do exist, most likely- (logistically if this was like a alternate “fable raises Icarus AU” they probably wouldn’t but I can do what I want and I say they’re here cause I love them- /silly)

Addie- Addie idk- maybe they work on like a night shift for the archives? Or like as an intern.

Ulysses- idk where to put Ulysses. Oh you silly fish man you. I will incorporate all the telchin stuff, definetly, I think just think of the cannon lore for that one.

Also- Quixis is there somewhere. Probably not in the same way for plot- but gotta include them in every au somehow /silly

Yeah. Royal AU. I’m eepy so I shut up- but hope you like my rambling ig idk-

I didn’t realize y’all enjoyed this au that much- I appreciate all the excitement about it /gen tehe <3

[mysticcollectionbee]

My Views on the whole "Alastor isn't actually powerful" theory and why I think that would kinda betray his writing if true

Ok, starting off: I got no problems with the people who made or enjoy this theory, I'm just sharing my two-cents on it and using it as an excuse to talk about a character I like (✨Multitasking!✨).

So, my biggest issue with this is we know Alastor already has a false persona/mask he puts up first before all and it's not the scary one. It's the friendly, charming radio show host one. Does that mean he can't have multiple layers and multiple masks? Of course not and I do think he actually does. But, I don't think him being a dangerous person is one or that his power is fake or that it is solely dependent on his soul deal.

Some points on why I think this theory kinda falls flat:

The Overlord Deaths: This theory usually includes the idea that he didn't kill/erase the Overlords and that he just took credit for it. For my this is the biggest flaw of the whole thing. Yes, Alastor could have taken credit for their disappearances without actually doing it. But that wouldn't explain why people (We know this from Mimzy's backstory in the show and Vaggie explaining it in the pilot) could recognize the screams on his broadcast as The Overlords. Or the fact that if there were witnesses to the Overlords deaths (they did own souls and therefore had people working for them, not to crazy that on atleast one occasion there was a witness) they could probably mention who did this. So for this to function in the story, Alastor has to be working with the person who is killing the Overlords and recording their screams on the side AND also finding someway to make every single witness to the deaths agree to lie and say it was him. And keep this charade up for a hundred or so years... It seems like a huge stretch.

The Overlords Alive: Another flaw is the Overlords (including two former ones) that seem to believe Alastor can, in fact, be a serious threat to them. Yes, maybe he can trick the Overlords that don't know him too well (hard to believe Zestiel and Carmilla would allow him in Overlord meetings if they didn’t have some physical evidence that he isn’t a fraud) but what about the ones that do? Husk is an ex-Overlord and has worked for him for atleast a few decades. He knows specific personal/private details and secrets that no one else knows and in-canon is good at reading people like no one else INCLUDING Alastor. And yet, When Alastor threatens to tear his soul apart Husk doesn't react like he thinks Alastor can't do that. He reacts like he's seen the guy do that before. He knows Alastor's soul is owned by someone else, why would he not know if Alastor's power is also fake? There’s also the issue of Vox (and probably Valentino too since it’s possible he once tried to help Vox during a fight against Alastor, if his wording in ep.2 is anything to go by). They’ve fought atleast a few times and since it’s mentioned that both Vox and Valentino are canonically strong as overlords, how could he go against them repeatedly if he didn’t have any real power? From Vox’s reactions to him (multiple) he sees Alastor as a very real threat. As for the other Overlords they seem to have enough info to go off that they see Alastor and have some reluctant respect towards him, but it’s a bit more believable that they can be tricked.

We’ve seen Alastor’s strength when it’s limited: From the Season 1 finale’s song we know that his power is apparently limited or that he’s lacking in something. And yet. He still fights viciously throughout the season and shows more power and more of his demon form than the others. Most other sinner demons we see only show bits of their demon forms when they’re at their maddest. But Alastor? He will hint at it and constantly shift into it casually. I feel like that says something about his mastery over it and how much power he has to control it and alter it that easily and quickly.

Word/Design of the creator: Vivziepop since before and after the show has mentioned and described Alastor as powerful and dangerous. Once even describing his abilities as “A mystery to even me and maybe even him too until he tries it”. That fits with what we’re shown a lot more than every single thing we’ve seen being an elaborate trick.

Now am I saying Alastor is more powerful than anyone else? Hell no. I think he overestimates himself and underestimates everyone else. Mostly due to his ego, but also because he is more powerful than most other Sinners he’s met. I also don’t think his main false persona is being the scary radio demon. Yes, he uses that to his advantage but we see that that’s not his go-to. He always introduces himself (often in casual/professional situations) as just a friendly deer demon with a charismatic radio host personality. Because that would be better for deals and to manipulate others. Unlike many other demons he uses his demon form to his advantage to disarm people, we see this a bit: Kinda in Mimzy’s story, in the Overlord meeting, and anytime he’s interacting with the public (In Charlie’s commercial he seem like just a energetic camera guy/narrator, in Stayed Gone he only goes full radio demon when Vox loses the signal and the public can’t see/hear the broadcast anymore, etc). Including the audience in the side material! In the playbill and any emails from the hotel that are written by him he doesn’t really try to intimidate anyone. The most he does is his casually feed his ego and mention that he wants people to try to fight him.

How I see it is that his actual personality is a mix of the different roles he plays for his needs: The intimidating Radio Demon and The charming radio host deer demon and a secret third thing (A tired and bored control freak with anger issues that is purposefully sarcastic and sassy at anything that bores or annoys him). I don’t think it’s necessary to make his power fake when there’s already enough things fake about him that don’t cause plot holes or logical problems to the story of his writing.

So that was my ramble on this. Don’t take it too seriously as this was just how I see this theory and explaining why I don’t quite vibe with it.

Also, blame Amir Talai (Alastor’s VA) for being in an interview and talking about how the thing that makes Alastor’s voice interesting, in his opinion, is that even though he’s just using a stock TransAtlantic voice, him adding the malice and danger and sassiness of Alastor’s real personality is the reason why it’s so good. It barely connects to this topic but it did get me thinking. Curse you, Amir.

[skunkes]

OK sharing my surgery healing update fotos now that its been one month! Was nervous abt posting but I consider it an important part of detailing the process which I've been trying to commit to especially since I myself was looking for every post about the experience and aftermath that I could find, in preparation ^_^

Warning for of course exposed stomach and day-of-surgery incisions (they are not gruesome but it is reddened, irritated, raised skin)

First photo taken approximately 12 hours (7 pm) after first incision (7 am) on August 7th. This is a photo taken through the mirror.

Second photo taken September 8th ^_^ this is a photo taken directly with camera.

(I was gonna include a photo from late august of the midway point but it just seemed really gross to post the flaking peeling surgical glue 😭)

speaking of which the majority of it was removed at my August 27th post op appointment (doctor was very excited to peel and yank that shit off of me. Thank god bc i was scared LOL) and it took a bit more gentle scrubbing after every shower but the rest of the glue was rubbed off/removed by the beginning of September! ^_^

(I am still working on fully removing the belly button incision glue but that's because I hate touching that area. Like just in general. i hate belly button i hate it so much 😭)

1 month later there's not any active consistent pain, though sometimes I do feel random aches over the incisions, and last week I accidentally jabbed a thumb directly into one while adjusting my pants at a store and had to double over for a bit. LOL

Also still itches sometimes, but its a regular "i forgot thats where my scars are" itch and not the "i have to tear myself open to scratch the inside" itch i felt during some days of recovery

-

Adding this part for informational purposes also because I was worried about this when I was doing my research:

My first period after the surgery arrived on time, didn't feel any more painful than usual (though I did feel additional pain at the incision sites), and lasted the same amount of time. Although within those parameters there still was some unexpected variation I had to work around (as in: thinking it was dwindling down and then it Suddenly Coming Back.)

Idk that this is the Norm as I'd see people say that theirs was delayed post surgery, or hurt more, or hurt less, or Lasted longer, was shorter, more bleeding, less bleeding etc but this is what happened to me, so far at least ^_^ perhaps I'll shoot for a hysterectomy next. LOL

[veifei]

Can I get thoughts on shiguang + ql during their uni days? Or just pre-canon in general?

omg yes of course !!! this is probably going to be a rambling mess cos i am Uncertain about some things but i hope it's fun nevertheless!!! i may add more in subsequent reblogs if i think of anything else :)

first off i have to think about majors/degrees for a bit. i believe the director said we'd find out more about their uni days including what the trio studied during the upcoming yingdu chapter. if I had to guess, I'd say QL did something like a business degree. I like the idea of CXS doing photography and I've seen that hc floating around, and for LG im sorry i have no fucking clue.

OK OK im not completely at a loss with LG. assuming this is like the third or fourth timeline, maybe he just chose whatever course CXS was on to stay close to him (im not crying you're crying). i think it would be fun if he studied literature though (saying this as a lit student, lol)

Alternatively, maybe they All did a business degree?? i say this for two reasons—one, it makes sense for both QL and CXS. for QL it's cos she's just business savy, and for CXS it's a fairly practical choice since he has the studio to think about. two, it makes for maximum fun as the trio suffer through their studies together :)

moving on—in the same way that LG buys CXS and QL boba, i bet he did similar when they'd all have early lectures, maybe with coffee, (or maybe he's had their drink orders memorised from their uni days)

CXS consistently leaves his studying/exam prep/turning in assignments until the night before which causes LG Immense stress lmao. CXS's like "lu guangggg help me studyyyy i promise i won't do it againnnn ive learnt my lesson I swear :(" and every time, LG calls him a fool and says good fucking luck. and every time QL brings over caffeine and snacks and LG stays up with CXS to help him/scold him

QL is definitely the most organised with her studies. she has the most detailed lecture notes and she's always the first one to hand in projects/assignments. LG has to drag CXS to lectures otherwise he won't go, notes are a mess/non existent, and he is usually playing a game on his phone (he is however, the sort to scrape by with fairly, or perhaps unfairly good grades). LG is the true neutral student who does Exactly what is required of him and Nothing more lmao.

QL is ALWAYS trying to get the other two to be more sociable and go to mixers and things. she probably has to bribe CXS with food, and then in turn CXS will pester LG until he relents and agrees to go with them

out of the three, QL has the best alcohol tolerance and when she drinks she's even more bubbly and social. will Occasionally drink too much after deadlines or exams have passed cos celebrations yippee, and in those instances she always insists she's FINE she ABSOLUTELY can do another round (is not fine. LG has to step up as the mum friend if CXS is also drinking)

next is CXS who has a pretty okay tolerance if he didn't continually push his luck and end up drinking a little too much. he gets all rambly and is (even more) of a drama queen when drunk. he has, on more than one occasion, had to be escorted out by a very angry looking LG. oh and of course he's also very clingy when drunk (with LG in particular; that poor man cannot escape from under CXS's arm).

I don't imagine at these sorts of big social gatherings LG is the type to drink Much, if at all. CXS has only ever seen LG drunk, truly drunk, like so drunk it could be described as stupid drunk, one time. and if he ever mentions it to anyone LG is murdering him. so. CXS doesn't discuss it, he values his life after all.

[thedreadvampy]

We had our team Christmas party/goodbye Ruth do today. and I need to show you what my friend at work made me for a leaving present because even for him it's a work of mad genius, I was just sitting there like WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

so you know, I get leaving gifts from my team, it's lovely, notebooks, pens, gift card, fond farewells, it's lovely, people say nice things about me

then my friend Zain says "I also got you something"

Now the thing to know about Zain is his party acumen is legendary. every year we're all resigned from the off to losing at Secret Santa because his gifts are insane. last year he made his secret santa a custom play set of one of our services in a branded box with tiny props. this year he made a custom Ken doll and box representing our colleague and it has a tiny collection bucket and a "collect them all!" sticker on the back where he'd found pictures of Barbies and Kens that looked like the rest of the Fundraising team. we'd just got done with a quiz where he made a custom video package, a Family Feud round with buzzers, and TWO Photoshop picture rounds. once. ONCE. we asked him to facilitate a team meeting and he wrote and animated a theme song. the man is insane. everything he does is so thoughtful, so labour intensive, and also so off the wall weird.

so I'm intrigued. especially since all he's holding is an envelope.

he says "I got you something. It's kind of an experience."

and hands me this letter.

(there's a bunch of good bits in here but I will particularly note that "It's going" has been his perpetual refrain for months every time I ask how it's going, to the point he usually doesn't even bother saying it any more.)

ok. I am confused. what is. THE DEVICE.

he puts THE DEVICE on the table. he hands me 4 cardboard floppy discs.

THE DEVICE is a large cardboard box. You will observe that THE DEVICE has an LED on the front. You may also observe that THE DEVICE has both a button. and a set of speaker holes.

this is because upon pushing the button on THE DEVICE, it makes a jaunty startup noise and an AI voice launches into a full minute setup speech before instructing me to load the included floppy discs into THE DEVICE. during the period of silence as I feed them into the slot, THE DEVICE says things like "ow, careful!"

THE DEVICE then makes loading noises, and instructors me to open THE DEVICE to see the contents of the discs.

inside the box, there are 4 gifts, each corresponding to a floppy disc and also to a conversation we've had at some point in the last 2.5 years.

this, of course, is in reference to my infamous Blobbyland post, and indeed to the fact that Zain, who is 3 years younger than me, actually FOUND OUT ABOUT MR BLOBBY from me taking about my popular Tumblr post

Gawrsh.zip references a conversation about Goofy dying in Kingdom Hearts, the first video game I remember finishing

EIGHT MONTHS AGO Zain asked me what my top 5 films of all time were and I said easy, Mirrormask, 10 Things, Angels In America, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Fury Road, boom. He's been just HOLDING THAT INFORMATION IN HIS HEAD FOR MONTHS.

the last one is my favourite. I was like oh no what could be in this poster tube cause what's left of the floppies is NIGHTMARE.EXE.

at my Halloween party last month, to which Zain was my only work friend who made it, we watched Nightmare on Elm Street and Zain, who had recently watched some video breakdowns on it, was pointing out humorous background details. and in the sleep therapist scene, both he and Tim pointed at the screen and started shouting TRAM CATS!!! and we were all losing our shit

the thing is there's a Very Weird poster in that scene. and now. now it's in my house also.

anyway I legit almost cried this may be the most unhinged and lovely gift that anyone has ever given me. I'm going to miss working with this weirdo so much.

[oc-cityworld]

Detailed guidelines/suggestions post

Hey there! I shop for a lot of ocs to draw on art fight, but you're more than welcome and encouraged to shoot a request in my inbox-- I just make no guarantees I'll get to it.

You can truly freeball it and shoot reqs into my inbox like a medieval catapult on fire, but very optionally if you're curious, I wrote some in depth outlines for what makes it easier on me!

1.Submissions

Exact vehicle of submissions, ideally, is a message in my askbox with a link to a social media post, art fight page, toyhouse, or other page with pics of your oc in one easy place with a text description of more info like their name etc

Second-best preferred is using the submission function to deliver the same thing (several images + text details). No minimum or maximum, if you only have one reference thats totally fine!! But the more you tell/show me, the more i can appreciate them <3

There’s no wrong way to do it! The listed above are just what I prefer, but as long as I have access to at least one good reference, we’re all set 👍

1.Visuals

Of course, full bodies help the most. If you have an all angles reference sheet, it's great to include it. References of their visual world like scenery, magic or tech VFX, visual language... The more rich your references, the more material for me to latch onto and likely more excited I get abt it! I really love character work in my illustration, IE showing their personality through face and body language, so the more you tell me about who they are, the better. Pinterest boards make me go absolutely nutso and greatly multiply the chances I'll want to draw it! :D

Conversely, the less specific you are with the actual content of your request, the more likely I'll draw it. If you dump a rich library of references with no spef requests, I'll get to interpret it the way I have the most fun with! Yay! You can get specific (ex., 'please draw these two OCs studying together at the National Library of Congress') but it may make it harder for me to get to if it's out of my usual range.

Here's an example of an absolutely enticing request that got all my creative gears turning for a fully rendered piece! Note it has a variety of references, some backstory, and a couple alternate medias like a playlist and a pinboard. (This is above and beyond though, and not at all required!)

2. Limits

I won't draw NSFW or extreme body horror/gore (some light horror/injury is cool, though) so please refrain from putting those in my inbox as well. I'm ok with mechas (tho tend to interpret them liberally)

There's no hard max character limit, but to be level with you the odds I draw a req diminish greatly above 2, and go to near-zero at 3 or 4 chars.

3. Disclaimer

Also, on the subject of limits, this is your reminder that a request does not guarantee I draw it. I started this blog because I really like drawing OCs, but its still true that not everything strikes my inspiration. Not at all a reflection of your lovely amazing characters, but more of the fact I have specific taste, like anyone else! I will not be going through every req in chronological order. I may draw one from a long time ago, and then one from today. I may stop doing requests for a bit and just pull from Art Fight bookmarks that inspire me. Please don't resubmit the same req/char, but feel free to submit multiple different chars!

[winterandwords]

If someone wanted a brief description of what Rafe looks like, where might they look for such information … for reasons.

Or, alternatively, provide me with a brief description of Rafe, if none exists elsewhere :p. For reasons.

Because of who I am as a writer, little details are scattered through Bridge From Ashes but there's no straight-up "This is what he looks like" moment. Also, it's from his POV, so descriptions of himself are usually relative to other people and again not clear statements.

So. In terms of build, he's a big dude, 6ft 4in with broad shoulders. In the parts of the book where he's in his mid-twenties and meets Gillen, he's physically strong because he has to be, but he doesn't eat well and it shows. He could do with a few homecooked meals and less alcohol.

Later, when he's in his early thirties and working for the Authority, he's a bit healthier looking and more muscular in that he has to be fit for his job, but not like gym-abs-and-dehydration looking. Just normal-person-with-physical-job shaped.

He's naturally blessed in the face department, described as "beautiful" by the evil guy in the prologue, which is why Rafe doesn't think about his own appearance very much apart from resenting it and he hates compliments.

By the point where he meets Gillen, he has a bunch of facial scars. The most obvious are the one that runs from the corner of his mouth to just under his left ear, and the other through the right side of his top lip. Clear descriptions of the injuries that cause those are at the very beginning of BFA. They heal badly and they genuinely fuck with his facial symmetry. The other scars he has then are smaller and less severe, but still definitely noticeable.

By the time he's been working for the Authority for a while, he's collected a lot more scars on his face, including a few more severe ones that are serious enough to unsettle people in a world where it's unusual to have any scars at all. Think more than Ben Barnes' character in the Punisher after the thing with the mirror, but less than Michael Pitt's character in Hannibal after the bad shit goes down.

His torso, arms and back are also covered in scars. Some of those happened in the course of a life of crime followed by a life of reluctant law enforcement, but a lot of them are either self-inflicted or self-inflicted by proxy. He's a hardcore masochist who's into cutting and burning. The ones that get mentioned specifically a few times are a row of neat lines below his collarbone.

I'm faceblind so I struggle a LOT with describing actual faces and I don't know how helpful it is when I try. Olive skin, brown eyes, high cheekbones, strong brow, full lips, permanent dark circles under his eyes. Frustratingly for me, he doesn't look like any real person I've seen and I can't hold images of faces in my head, so he's a bit of a blur.

OK, hair. Black, thick, slightly wavy, a bit longer when he's younger (not long enough to tie back but long enough to look messy) and shorter when he's working for the Authority.

Clothes. Very "cyberpunk aesthetic man" on Pinterest, long black leather coat that's seen better days. Authority clothes are either "cyberpunk soldier" for missions or smart black with a structured long black coat the rest of the time.

That description was the opposite of brief. Apparently I don't know how to describe characters briefly.

[luveline]

dear jade,

Im 23 and I would say I’m doing ok the scheme of things. I moved to a new city and my job is meh and I have friends and it seems fine but I can’t help but feel lonely especially because I have a p rocky relationship with my family members and sometimes all I want is someone whose excited to see me and do errands with me. I like my friends but most of them r actually moving soon and I’m scared about having to try to make new friends and idk I guess I was wondering if you had any tips on feeling lonely bc I really want a bf but also the mature part of my brain knowing having a bf won’t fix anything per say.

Hey!

My tips for feeling lonely. I think I was a very lonely person for a long time, and I'll give you my advice rather than what a therapist or a professional might say, so please take it with a pinch of salt. EDIT : I'm not trying to say I know better than a therapist btw I don't just that you can find that everywhere so I wanted to be more personable

I think if you really want a boyfriend, you're right in thinking it won't fix everything, but I also don't think it's a bad idea. The want to be in a relationship is one that most people will experience in their lives, it's very natural, and of course lots of things can go wrong and you can end up very hurt, but I still think that looking for love and a partner to be with wouldn't fix everything but it would probably be a good thing. BUT. it is also very very important to have friends and family too. Friends are so hard😭 and they move away and even if you make new ones you won't know who they are, but I think the standards for friendship are kind of skewiff these days, so my advice to you is to try and make relationships with people that are casual in a sense, but honest and caring, too. I know it isn't easy, you can't just magically clap your hands and make it happen, and there's a balance to be struck between being forgiving with people but not wanting them to walk all over you and your boundaries. (Sorry this paragraph is a little behemoth but hopefully my main point is that a boyfriend won't fix things but it probably won't do you any harm to have love and intimacy in your life, but don't try to fill the gaps that friends and family are leaving with a boyfriend because it may leave you feeling worse (which I'm sure was your original point, sorry😭))

I'm sorry to hear about your rocky relationships with family and I certainly won't stand here and tell you to try and fix them because family can be impossible and hurtful and too much to deal with. I hope things get better with them but I also understand that they might not, and I want to tell you that that's okay! Family by blood is real but family can also be anything you want it to be, including friends or a partner or people in your community. It's tough though, and I'm sorry!

ANYWAYS you didn't actually ask for any of the above and I'm really sorry if what I've said so far is unsolicited or incorrect, I can't pretend to know every detail of your situation but I think i can understand how you're feeling, like things are fine but loneliness is still pervasive anyways

When I'm feeling really really really lonely, there are a couple of things I do. I talk to friends (and not to tell them I'm lonely, maybe just to send a video or something) and I don't mind admitting that I don't have tons of friends, but the very best one I've made was through the Internet, so I definitely recommend trying to make friends via the Internet with people who have your interests in common! Friends in real life are sometimes friends because we see them a lot, which isn't a bad thing (it's actually GOOD to be friends with people who are different from us) but often means that we can find ourselves a bit unsure of where we stand or how to keep the friendship going when they move away.

I do all the usual things the Internet tells you to do, too, because this stuff sucks but it really works, like taking a very hot shower or going for a walk. Sometimes it absolutely doesn't work and then you're just walking around feeling lonely and miserable though, but it's worth a try. sometimes we feel lonely because we realise how unhappy we are and that we don't have anyone who's worried about how unhappy we are, if that makes sense? Like a consequence of the human condition, we actually do want attention when we feel shitty and there's no crime in that.

But sometimes all the usual stuff doesn't work! When I was at my Loneliest and most depressed, where I really truly could not see a light at the end of the tunnel kind of situation, I turned to writing. It literally saved me and saved my life and made it one worth living (as someone who doesn't have very much ambition). I think that finding a hobby and trying to master it or at least trying to create can really do wonders for a lonely person because it gives you a sense of worth or a sense of purpose outside of personal relationships. I always tell people I think they should start writing but what I mean is that finding a way to express yourself or finding a way to make things that you can look at with pride is great.

But obviously one hobby isn't going to get rid of all your loneliness, and I don't think it necessarily has to. I was recently talking to someone about this kind of thing and we spoke about this quote from a poem by ocean zuong, "loneliness is still time spent with the world." You will feel loneliness at different points of your life for the rest of time and so will I, and it's going to be very painful at some points, but I think if we can try to look at loneliness as more neutral, we can feel lonely without putting pressure on ourselves to fix it. It would be very tiring for you if you were always expected to fix your own loneliness. Sometimes there's nothing you can do and im so sorry to say that and to hear about how you're feeling, because it's not fair. But loneliness isn't like hunger, there's no guarantee that you can make it better by doing any one thing, you just have to hope that the world is going to be kind to you. When it isn't, you have to be kind to yourself! Try to treat yourself as you'd treat someone else going through a hard time, get yourself a treat if you can and remember that just because you're lonely doesn't mean you deserve to be, you're a unique person with all these interesting things about you that I'm sure people are one day going to discover and love, I'm sure people already do!

[cuwalli]

Hi I am thinking of doing a project about Mexican art and how it influenced video games for one of my classes and all I can think of for examples are just Grim Fandango. Are there any other games that use/are inspired by Mexican art that you know about or anything like that? If not that's ok, was just wondering

Hey, moot! Sorry for the delay in reply!

So other than Grim Fandango (which is obviously my favorite), there are a few I can think of, although I wish there were more. The first one that comes to mind is Guacamelee, although I never really got into that game, myself. Still, a lot of the art style is very cute and colorful and inspired by lucha libre and papel picado designs.

Another game by Tim Schafer that has some inspiration is Psychonauts, in the Black Velvetopia area. It's more Spanish design than Mexican, but there's a lot of overlap, including luchadores and some poster designs that look inspired by the lithography of José Guadalupe Posada. I haven't seen confirmation of this, but I would believe it, since the mural in the train station in Grim Fandango is also reminiscent of painter José Clemente Orozco.

On the indie front, the platformer Imp of the Sun is based on Maya and Inca mythology and design, and the upcoming Ecumene Azteca looks very promising. I'm keeping my eye on it; it's a survival RPG where you get to kill Spanish conquistadors, so what's not to love?

There is, of course, the Super Mario Odyssey inspirations used in the Sand Kingdom. While they're a little stereotypical of the kind of souvenirs tourists usually like, I think they're pretty cute. It isn't meant to be taken that seriously.

Of course, there are always games like Call of Juarez, Tomb Raider, Red Dead Revolver/Redemption, (to an extent) Far Cry 6, and Desperados that all borrow locations and design from Mexico/Latin America in some way. A lot of the most well-known games in the setting are, of course, games that feature "lost" Aztec relics, the cartel, or the wild west in some way. Of all of these, I feel Red Dead Redemption and Far Cry handle the subjects the best, although Red Dead more explicitly so. (I may also be biased because I'm a huge Giancarlo Esposito fan lmao)

On the 8-bit front, there were a couple, I think... I remember both Aztec and Montezuma's Revenge, though I can't remember what systems my dad had them on. Could've been NES, Apple II, Commodore, or Atari. Regardless, they sucked. lol

There is also, tangentially, a little-known point-and-click game called "The Interactive Adventures of Dog Mendonça and Pizza Boy," based on a comic book by Mike Mignola. I love this series, but technically it is set in Lisbon, Portugal. That said, the series and in particular the game was worked on by Argentinian, Brazilian, and Meixcan artists, and I feel the style very much lends itself to the underground Latin graphic novel styles of the early 00's.

Past that, there's precious little else, until you start getting into other game categories besides video games. At least nothing good; I think there might be a shovelware "La Llorona" game or something.

One of my favorites, though, that I've saved for last is a little inide game called El Hijo. It's an adventure game in the vein of Limbo/Inside or A Boy and His Blob, and while the gameplay itself is nothing special, the story and the art style are fantastic. It's oozing with charm and attention to detail, and I enjoyed it quite a lot. It felt a lot more in love with its setting and the culture than some of the aforementioned games do.

I hope this helps! Good luck with your project! If I can think of anything more, I'll RB this again.

[readingforsanity]

I'm Your Huckleberry | Val Kilmer | Published 2021

In this New York Times bestseller, legendary actor and star of the acclaimed documentary Val shares the stories behind his most beloved roles, reminisces about his star-studded career and love life, and reveals the truth behind his recent health struggles in a remarkably candid biography.

Val Kiler has played many iconic roles over his nearly four-decade film career. A table-dancing Cold War agent in Top Secret! A troublemaking science prodify in Real Genius. A brash fighter pilot in Top Gun. A swashbuckling knight in Willow. A lovelorn bank robber in Heat. A charming master of disguise in The Saint. A wise-cracking detective in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Of course, Batman, Jim Morrison and the sharp-shooting Doc Holliday.

But who is the real Val Kilmer? With I'm Your Huckleberry - published prior to the highly anticipated sequel Top Gun: Maverick, in which Kilmer returns to the bring screen as Tom "Iceman" Kazansky - the enigmatic actor at last steps out characters and reveals his true self.

In this uniquely assembled memoir - featuring vivid prose, snippets of poetry and rarely-seen photos - Kilmer reflects on his acclaimed career, including becomes the youngest actor ever admitted to the Julliard School's famed drama department, determinedly campaigning to win the lead part in The Doors, and realizing a years-long dream of performing a one-man show as his hero Mark Twain. He shares candid stories of working with screen legends Marlon Brando, Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr, and Robert De Niro, and recounts high-profile romances with Cher, Cindy Crawford, Daryl Hannah, and former wife Joanna Whalley. He chronicles his spiritual journey and lifelong belief in Christian Science, and describes travels to far-flunt locales such as a scarcely inhabited island in the Indian Ocean where he suffered from delirium and was cared for by the resident tribe. He reveals details of his recent throat cancer diagnosis and recovery - about which he has disclosed little until now.

While containing plenty of tantalizing celebrity anecdoes, I'm Your Huckleberry - taken from the famous line Kilmer delivers as Holliday in Tombstone - is ultimately a singularly written and deeply moving reflection on mortality and the mysteries of life.

About a month or two ago, my husband and I sat down to watch Tombstone. I had never seen the movie, though I understood it's premise was about Wyatt Earp and the events that led up to the gunfight at the OK Corral as well as the events that took place after.

What I wasn't prepared for was Val Kilmer as the one and only Doc Holliday. His performance as the dentist-turned-gambler suffering from turberculosis, or as they so kindly called in back in the late 1800s, consumption, was tantalizing. I was immediately hooked and not only obsessed with Doc Holliday himself, but Val too.

I've had instances of obsession with actors in the past. Vin Diesel being one of them. I had to own every movie he ever did, but that obsession didn't last long. I call it hyperfixating. But, in truth, it is because I had fallen in love with Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday. I'd fallen in love with a man who no longer looks and sounds the way he did back in 1993.

After rewatching the movie a few days ago, my husband purchased Val's memoir for me, titled I'm Your Huckleberry, one of the more famous lines from Tombstone. While I can read fictional stories fairly quickly, it takes me a bit longer for non-fiction or biographies or memoirs because I'm trying to absorb much more information than usual. And Val's memoir did not disappoint.

For years, all we heard about was how difficult Val was to work with, how he was a womanizer, that he was full of himself. The Val we get to know through his own eyes is the exact opposite. Val is a hopeless romantic, therefore his quests to find love in his life was simply because he wanted to find the woman of his dreams. After a relationship with Daryl Hannah, he gave that up and admits that he hasn't had a girlfriend in about 15-20 years.

The memoir chronicles his young life in Los Angeles, his parents ultimate divorce, and his father's dive into seclusion. The birth of his children, Mercedes and Jack, along with various snippets of information from the movies he did. Funnily enough, he didn't want anything to do with Top Gun, and that was the very movie that put him out into superstardom.

Regardless of your personal feelings on Val, or the movies he's done throughout his life, it's sad to see such an artistic person be riddled of the one thing that made their art into life - his voice. After his diagnosis with throat cancer and the tracheotomy that could his voice (or in the very least, made it more difficult for him to speak), Val has turned his vocal art into a more visual one. His Instagram shows various pieces of the art he has created since being released from the hospital. It also chronicles his faith, a true love for the Christian Science religion.

Pick this one up. You won't be disappointed, even if you know little to nothing of the man who wrote it. He shares everything, no holding back.

To Val, thank you for sharing your craft with us. I will continue to watch movies with you in it, and pretend that I hadn't fallen in love with a man who knows nothing about me. But, truly, you are one of the greatest actors of the 1990's. Thank you.

[geschiedenisish]

So I wanted it to add a fun picture of a Victorian stripper, as your neighbourhood Tumblr historian, but turns out the history of Pole Dancing is far more intersting than that! (Also, opinions differ on this stuff and different sites have different stories, I'm just going with the Wikipedia person!)

The idea of dancing with a pole began with Mallakhamba in India where it is still done;

I'll just quote Wikipedia now "Pole dance in America has its roots in the "Little Egypt" traveling sideshows of the 1890s [....] in an era where women dressed modestly in corsets, the dancers, dressed in short skirts and richly adorned in jewelry, caused quite a stir.[13][14] During the 1920s, dancers introduced pole by sensually gyrating on the wooden tent poles to attract crowds."

Ok, so sources highly disagree about the specifics, but everyone roughly agrees pole dancing entered America by the 1920s and probably under the influence of Britian through Egypt and then through fairs, but I don't know the details. Some also suggest it was "dansers doing ''hoochie coochie" dances, which were a type of belly dance, but including the poles of the circus they worked in. Roughly the same logic, but a little different. At least some vague "fair/circus/Middle Eastern but still in the US but travelling" type of origin.

I've tried to find any examples of all of this, but of course these things were seldom fotographed, let alone made easy to find on the internet. The hoochie coochie dances are better documented though (TW; it's the 1920s so orientalism and probably racism and sexualisation of women although that's hard to judge, just, you know, it's 1920s entertainment about the 'lesser' part of society);

The thing was already common in the 1890s in a 'modest form';

From when Disney was still....not the family company it is today.

The dances, term and the whole concept are still common on American fairs such as showcased in this song from 2021 (also, why is there a Dutch flag in this video for no reason?!?!?!?!). It shows how in the 1920s the women danced with a lot more skin exposed than in 1896;

(Yeah, don't get me started on how problematic all this stuff is. It's La Belle Epoque we're talking about!)

Anyway, I'm getting of track. In the 1950s and 60s with the sexual revolution, Brulesque as a form of dance was introduced. Brulesque was a term that had existed for a long time (a lot of classical peaces are called "Brulesque Waltz" or something like that), but was only now becoming associated with red lights.

Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse Rock" from 1957 is partially to blame for this. "The video featured Presley's famous gyrating hips as well as numerous pole slides, grinds, and twirls." Some sources mention Belle Jangles as the first to amaze people with a pole dance during her striptease thereby inventing the "striptease+pole" combination.

Then in the 1990s Fawnia Mondey, known as the world's first pole dancing instructor, began teaching pole dancing as a craft. (Notice she was the first person to treat it as a craft, where as people before her always treated it like a part of a bigger dance or seduction routine.)

BUT I'M STILL NOT DONE. It's totally unrelated but I wanna share the horizontal version of this practice, using roughly the same ideas of wrapping your body around a wooden or metal pole, but now horizontally. (Although this one has origins in Ancient Greece and has been part of the Olympics since forever. A bit like those oval running fields.)

This one exists in two variants as far as I'm aware. The "long" variant is the horizontal bar part of artistic gymnastics and is part of the Olympics. The "short" variant is done on Dutch playgrounds and has A LOT of different names, although usually called "duikelen". It is mostly done by girls around the age of 9 or 'groep 5'. The tricks began as girls just doing things from their gymnastics routines at school but eventually became its own "I'm better than you" children's culture. (I was one of the leaders even though I didn't go to any gymnastics classes. I just did what everyone else did. But that showed it really became a thing of its own.)

This very 2007 video shows 'the basic tricks' although by far not all of them (I'm gonna make a seperate post naming all of them because for some reason no one has done that yet!);

So yeah, sorry for the rant, but that's the short history of Pole Dancing. ;)

Is Pole Dance the same as Stripping?

I get a lot of comments saying something like “bro is a striper” (usually when a post breaks containment), so thought I might as well address the topic!

Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my videos!

[cinnamonest]

Ok.

Listen.

Twisted Wonderland Male majority au

ANON YOUR BRAIN??? Incredible. I want to eventually make a more long and detailed post for this but I have some ideas to get out for now!

//the usual for this AU (other posts here): strong references to physiology/biology, basically enslavement/treatment of girls as property, misogynistic themes

---

PLEASE consider: what if the housewarden role's primary perk is that you're granted a pet girl?

The idea was originally introduced by school administration as a way to encourage more competitiveness for the housewarden role, basically adding a bonus incentive, and even serving as an attractant to the school itself to lure in prospective incoming students. Additionally, girls are incapable of utilizing magic, so there's no issue with them accidentally learning too much secondhandedly and trying to utilize it or anything like that. The issue being, said administrators had absolutely no forethought or planning about it, didn't think a lot of aspects of it through, and thus it goes over disastrously for a while.

Well, actually, you could say it works a lot better than anticipated... too much, even. Suddenly guys who previously couldn't have cared less about pursuing such a thing are showing intense, aggressive levels of interest. Actually, it sort of backfires because a bunch of them don't care about or value leadership or responsibility or any of that, they just want some pussy. They end up having to add some extra requirements to filter out such individuals.

This also creates a system in which even those who aren't confident enough to compete for housewarden spots, still go out of their way to become buddy-buddy with the housewardens because like bro that's a chance at free pussy?? The average guy starts to think that maybe just maybe if he's really nice and does a lot of favors for the guy, then it would be okay to ask for just ONE night with the girl? Or doesn't even have to be the whole night, maybe just like an hour or two?? Just enough time to bust a nut or two and maybe get some semblance of affection... please.

A lot of guys are fairly shameless about their motives, but there are still guys that go for the position for normal reasons, of course... or at least say they do. Riddle and Azul would fall into this category, the "n-no, this wasn't part of my reason for becoming housewarden at all you've got it all wrong--" kind of guy. No, it didn't even cross his mind, it's just a negligible side bonus is all. He's a very responsibility-oriented person! The reward doesn't even matter, really.

Likewise, each individual treats their respective girl very differently in terms of how much exposure and access to various things they get. There were no real rules given when these rewards were allotted, it was just sort of a "here you go, have fun" sort of thing. Each warden receives their own assigned girl, personalized (to an extent -- since this is the first year the program was implemented, they let them give a bit of input into some preferences) and dropped off on their first official day.

Since most young guys have quite literally never interacted with a girl, the faculty even put together a nice little how-to care manual, complete with basic instructions on meeting needs and recommended routines, as well as an extensive FAQ/troubleshooting section for frequently-occurring problems. But since that's also a bit of a heavy read that some boys may not want to put that much effort into, there's also a little quickstart pamphlet with the absolute most essentially, basic information, even more simplified, and this time including visuals to help. Even so, the boys all tend to do things their own way, and handle their newfound gift a little differently.

-

Vil makes a rather big deal out of presentation. You're more or less kind of a dress-up doll to him. He like to ensure you match to some extent, can't have the two of you looking mismatched or not coordinated in your respective aesthetics. So you are certainly held to expectations, although he helps if he feels something is off. But he doesn't let anyone else take care of presentation for you, since that would mean having to let someone else too close for comfort.

So instead, prepare to spend gratuitous amounts of time in each morning ensuring that you look absolutely and entirely perfect, lacking in so much as a single flaw, which he personally ensures. It's important, he says if asked, providing no other reasoning other than that. Besides, aren't you supposed to do what you're told and not really need explanations? You do get free housing and food and an easy life, so surely this isn't asking too much of you.

He shows off to some extent, since he is so big on keeping you on visual display, but he doesn't brag as much verbally as some others. He just lets your presence do the talking, so to speak. Just having you sort of perched beside him works wonders in terms of social standing. Not that he doesn't value you otherwise -- you're warm and soft and it all feels very... foreign. He sort of pretends to not be flustered, though, tries to maintain a confident demeanor. Being all openly fascinated and bewildered by a lot of things would be kind of pathetic, he thinks.

However, he's one of those boys who finds it a bit of a shock to learn you have, you know, free will and all that. He was always just led to believe you were sort of... robot-like. Ah, well, no big deal, as long as your free will doesn't cause you to do anything he would ever find unfavorable! But he's sure that won't be a problem. It's just... not something he can really wrap his head around.

If you do turn out to be capable of being in bad moods or disagreeable, he ends up going to administration about it, asking if you have some sort of medical problem causing you to behave this way... no? That's just how you can be sometimes? Goodness, what an... unpleasant footnote in the whole matter. Well, it can apparently be dealt with by doing things that please you, such as giving gifts, and it's easy for him to get you a ton of material goods, so, no matter.

Oh, he also uses you to boost his social media status. Of course, here in this world a picture of a girl gets even more attention than ever. There are some of what you might call "egirls", but given that girls don't have their own autonomy and all that, said egirls are only allowed to run accounts under permission to do so, and since not a lot of guys are okay with that, they're somewhat sparse.

Thus, you find yourself becoming something of a well-known internet figure, you gain enough popularity within weeks that he makes a separate account just for showing you off. It's amazing how many desperate guys out there just enjoy seeing pictures of you going about your day, eating your food, posing in clothes... all very carefully edited by him, of course, but nonetheless.

-

Kalim is very outwardly eager, and has no shame or nervousness regarding the matter. He finds it very necessary to throw a party in celebration of getting you. And another for the one-week anniversary. And another for the two-week anniversary. And... well, eventually Jamil has to break it to him that they can't throw a party for every tiny little milestone. Besides, it's not like an anniversary is an accomplishment in this case, you're literally stuck with him whether you like it or not... although he leaves that part out for the sake of not hurting Kalim's feelings.

He's very showoffish with you in general too, insists on bringing you into class lectures even though doing so was very clearly forbidden in the rules dictation given to them that he was too excited and eager to pay any attention to. While very saddened about not being allowed to have you there for everyone in the school to see all class long (it's a distraction, they remind him), at least he can have you waiting back at home!

Kalim is somewhere in this middle ground where he's certainly very nice and sweet to you and all, he's certainly not mean or cold, and his intentions are good... but at the same time, it's hard to say he's particularly good because he treats and views you sort of like a toy, an accessory. He's just got a mild immature streak, doing what he feels like without really considering consequences or effects his actions may have on others.

Consequently, he doesn't realize the degree to which he tires you out with his boundless energy and need to constantly be doing something. Come do this, come do that, he's constantly dragging you around with no regard to how you feel about the matter, and you've been trained to not raise objections, so you simply endure it.

This also, however, makes him a bit of a target. He's so eager to put you on display that he doesn't think about the fact that maybe others don't take so well to his excitement, or that maybe he might not be inciting solely positive sentiments from others. In his mind, he's just sharing his optimism and making others happy by letting them see you, but in reality, to a lot of others, it feels like he's rubbing it in their face of what he has that they don't. Eventually, either you or Jamil has to start warning him about the matter.

Speaking of, he's still perfectly generous in that regard. He doesn't mind, if it's someone he trusts like Jamil is... who, out of propriety, initially refuses, says he couldn't participate in such a thing... but after a while, the temptation of the offer just becomes a bit too much to really resist, so he accepts it.

-

Azul is rather pleased when it comes to having a girl... and capitalizes on it. No point in not utilizing all of your potential. Having your mere presence, it turns out, significantly increases the agreeableness of whoever he's doing business with. People tend to be in better spirits with your presence, and on top of that, you distract people enough that he can slip in some unsavory clauses to various agreements that go in one ear and out the other because the other party is too absorbed in looking at you. It's very helpful, really.

That being said, you still have to stay close to his side. He's a bit strict on that, doesn't let you go wandering even if its within his eyesight, whereas some other wardens might at least let you walk around provided you're within their sight. Azul, on the other hand, insists you stay close enough to touch at all times, if not just sitting next to him or on his lap throughout the majority of the day.

He still keeps a notably low profile about you otherwise, though. Despite having an arrogant side, outside of making deals, he's not nearly as showoffish as someone like Kalim or Leona. He knows balance is important -- he knows that being too shameless and prideful to the world can potentially put the two of you in an unsavory position in which someone spiteful or desperate may try to target him or yourself for something malicious. He keeps a middle ground, not hiding you away, but not being too bold, instead quietly keeping you visible and letting your presence speak for itself.

He's thankfully not too strict on how you behave, either. You will certainly still be a bit intimidated at first, with that whole sort of beguiling, uneasy aura he has about him, but any such unease proves unfounded rather quickly. He's actually very attentive to your needs and feelings, goes out of his way to tell you not to be so nervous, smiles and puts a hand on your thigh in an attempt to calm you down and familiarize yourself with his touch... that's what the reading said doing that would do, after all. Okay, yes, although he would not admit to it, he is actually more nervous than he lets on, and yes, he did read that entire manual cover to cover. He just likes to pretend he has natural charm.

Surprisingly, he can be rather lax in terms of what you do otherwise. You might expect him to have a strict policy or routine for you, but in reality he just doesn't want to put you to work in any way when he's not there. It's not worth having you potentially interact with others, he'd have to be crazy to just let you go around talking to people and not expect for some desperate guy to snatch you up and try to hide you away to themselves. So when he's in class, you can do whatever you want from the safety of the room, although if they have open time while he's in class, he may as well just send Floyd or Jade to watch over you.

On that note, like Kalim, Azul can tolerate some sharing. He doesn't mind, as long as it's just the two of them, but absolutely no one else. And he makes sure it stays between them, makes sure they tell no one, to make sure he doesn't get flooded with a bunch of other desperate guys begging at his feet. That would be... unpleasant.

-

Malleus actually handles the whole thing rather quietly. People are so caught up in the commotion when the distributing is going on (especially given how loudly some of the other housewardens handle the ordeal), so one really notices as the one designated for Diasomnia is quietly tapped on the shoulder and pulled away while the gathering crowds focus on the others. Malleus himself doesn't actually come, he merely gets the others to pick you up and bring you back to the residential area.

People tend to kind of forget about your existence, compared to the other girls' (well, except for Idia's as well, to be touched on in a moment). They never see you, never hear of you, so people sort of forget about you. Occasionally, someone may ask about the matter -- hey, did Diasomnia not get one? -- only to be reminded of how it went over -- yeah, but they never let her out. -- and thus it's gradually accepted and forgotten about.

Living with him is, likewise, very quiet. He doesn't expect much of you, he doesn't ask much of you, merely keeps you for your... designated purpose. At first, you worry you're doing something wrong, you panic a bit, but then he starts to actually seem to show concern as to why you seem so stressed. Is there something wrong?

You realize, then, that this is just sort of how he is. He's gentle and not demanding, shows quiet concern for your well-being, but tends to remain rather quiet, simply enjoys spending time in your presence, even if you don't talk much. He does speak to you on matters he deems important, or sometimes just because he thinks of something interesting to ask you about. That is what most conversations are about, little questions about your nature, existence, physiology, and so on.

He does seem to not realize at first that you still need some form of stimulation. In his mind, you're sort of like a doll, as if your mind only thinks thoughts when he speaks to you and "turns off" whenever he himself is not interacting with you in some way. You have to eventually muster up the courage to ask, but he's upset at all by the request, and gladly makes arrangements to give you things to occupy yourself with. Sometimes, the things you ask for involve creativity, like things to write or draw with. Huh, so you like... think. You have initiation capacity in your mind, rather than just responding to stimuli. Well, they say you learn something new every day, so he counts this as useful new information.

Despite his general pleasantness towards you, he's not keen on sharing. Not that those close to him would dare ask, but he makes it very clear by the way he keeps a tight physical grip on you, and rarely has you out of arm's reach. Which is another matter in and of itself -- one of the most potentially inconvenient aspects of being with him is that he keeps you very, very close at all times. Not just in the sense that you have to be in his eyesight, or that he keeps you close by in public, but rather that even when it's just the two of you alone, he doesn't like you wandering any further than a distance from which he could reach out and grab you. In fact, preferably, he likes to keep you physically touching at all times, sitting next to him or directly on his lap, pressed together when you lay down, and so on.

-

Leona is more prideful than you might expect on the matter. Perhaps it draws something in the whole lion nature out, but he does have a compulsion to display you to some extent. At any sort of event or out of class time in general, you can always be found on his lap or knee, always keeping his arm protectively wrapped around you. He becomes more reclusive after getting you though, goes straight back to his own room rather than hanging out on school grounds.

He's not very good at communicating, though. He doesn't speak to you much at first, just sort of awkwardly mumbles about how he'll be expecting you to be good, don't cause trouble, so on and so on. Sure, he knows it's normal and expected to make some rules or standards for you (it's said they behave better and treat you better when they're trying to earn approval or something), but he can't really think of anything... so, uh, just... be good, he says. No real specifics on what that entails, but he'll let you know if you do something bad.

As it turns out, though, you have to kind of try in order to upset him, or at least be particularly bad. As long as you stay close, he doesn't mind. You don't have to maintain this good posture or attentive demeanor, he doesn't mind if you fiddle with whatever is in your hands, you don't have to pay attention, he doesn't mind. And he's not going to be strict on things you say or the like either. He doesn't care if you disagree with him, or if you voice it, just don't get an attitude and get mouthy.

And don't expect him to actually take your concerns or disagreements into account... so he says. In truth, he might actually rethink some decisions if they're not too important, and change his mind in favor of what you want, he just won't tell you that. Basically, the only way you can really upset him with your words is by being bratty in the way you relay them, and/or embarrassing him in front of others with your disagreeableness.

He doesn't bother to read any of the materials they were given. You're just a person like him, yeah? Can't be so different he needs to read about it. He can just treat you like a normal person and it'll all be okay, he assumes. He's a bit fascinated by you, but tries to repress it, doesn't want to embarrass himself by gawking like a kid looking at something unfamiliar. He still ends up asking some questions, though, often trying to make it seem like a mere trivial passing question and not something he's actually very curious about regarding your physiology.

He's fiercely aggressive in the protective sense as well. He makes it very clear to everyone very early on not to piss him off, not to come too close to you. A lot of students have a sort of natural curiosity, they tilt their heads and mumble to each other in awe and interest, like looking at some rare animal behind glass. And that may lead them to, in a moment of absent-mindedness, lead them to reach a hand out to touch you or the like... but they always freeze up, go wide-eyed and retract the moment they catch his glare.

Oh, and he doesn't mind throwing Ruggie scraps occasionally. If he himself is not busy. And as long as he doesn't take too long. He just sighs and tells him to do it quick and return you soon enough, rather than try to gauge how long you should be gone and come looking for you or anything. Come on, have you seen that whole hyena mating process thing? He's not about to take the time to try and wrap his head around all of that. Wait, can your body even like... well, it has to be possible, otherwise he wouldn't be taking these sessions with you, and -- you know what, forget it, he doesn't want to waste time putting that imagery in his head. Ugh.

-

Riddle is, predictably, very strict. He's not opposed to having you visible in public, no, in fact that is the proper way to go about things -- it's part of having a dignified, noble image and all of that, and it would be unseemly to leave you unattended -- but only with certain regulations in place. No one can stand within a certain distance of you, people shouldn't speak directly to you, on and on it goes.

There are, of course, rules for you too. Rules on how to walk and carry yourself, to not speak to others even if spoken to. Keep your eyes on the ground. You have what you wear and eat dictated to you. Breaking any of these will upset him, and a repeated streak of rule breaks results in one of his signature mini-tantrums. He's probably one of the worst to deal with in that regard. Oh, and keep perfect posture too, don't slouch or anything. After all, your behavior reflects on him, you know? So it's important to be the absolute best you can be.

Above all, he does not share. No. Not a chance. Not so much as a grope or a kiss. He gets particularly angry when people try to get too close, and as a result, this has backfired against him severely in that now, guys will intentionally provoke him for their own amusement. He's aware of it, but it just makes him more irritated, and the cycle of stress for the poor thing continues.

At first, he did trust Trey to at least supervise you when he was gone. He didn't want to lock you up in the room, since he read that you need sunlight and fresh air just like a normal person. But then he started thinking about it, and it started to really bother him, and a bunch of possibilities flashed through his mind and well, now he doesn't do that anymore. Too risky. Surely you can get enough sunlight and air by going outside with him in the afternoon.

Oh, as you might imagine, he's read that booklet they gave them several times over, in addition to seeking out other material as well. Now, seeing as he considers himself The Expert™, it's only reasonable to think he knows you better than you know yourself. Additionally, he doesn't see you as very bright to begin with. It's a little bit of a contrast to how he usually treats others -- whereas with most people, he assumes and expects they should know literally everything and be entirely knowledgeable on every topic he considers basic knowledge, for you he assumes you know nothing.

Prepare to have a lot -- a LOT -- of very basic things explained to you, as if you're the stupidest thing alive, including those pertaining to your own physiology. Likewise, any poor moods on your part will be easily rationalized as being the result of hormones. Every behavior will be rationalized with some lengthy explanation that all ultimately boils down to invalidating your emotions in some way or another.

...Not that he's not still sort of fascinated by you... not that there's anything he doesn't know, it's just that seeing something up close versus studying it from books are two different things, you know? It's perfectly reasonable to want to watch your behaviors up close, as if seeing you sleep and eat and stretch and move around is something incredibly captivating. And touch, too. Not... not that that's anything unreasonable either, that's what you were provided for, isn't it? You're soft and warm... yes, this will surely have a positive effect on his own psyche. Very good, keep up the good work and keep, uh, existing... and all that.

-

Life with Idia is more or less exactly how you would predict it to be: reclusive and quiet. He is very protective in an anxious, paranoid sort of way, insists that you stay inside the room at all times. He doesn't like the thought of taking you outside -- people are gonna stare at you, and they probably will glare at him and think about how much they hate him for having you, and he can't handle that, no. It's better if you stay inside all the time... after all, he will be inside all the time too, so it's not like there's any reason to go out anyway.

He's very awkward, too, unsure of how to really speak to or interact with you. Normal people are bad enough, but from what he's heard, isn't speaking to you supposed to be different, and way more difficult? How is he supposed to handle that? Thus, it's very, very quiet, he barely says a word to you, and at first you think maybe he doesn't like you for whatever reason. Raising this concern results in a frantic attempt to convince you otherwise, trying to explain that no, it's not you -- well yes, it is you, but not like that! Not in a bad way, just -- just -- oh, now you just look more distressed. It takes a while to get things sorted out.

Similarly, he is a frequent consultor of the provided manual, often resorting to it at the slightest of inconveniences. You made a facial expression that seems upset or breathed in a way that seemed irritated! There has to be something wrong... and if the information provided doesn't tell him, internet forums surely will, right? Thus, if he exhausts the manual, he can consult the internet community instead, and ends up making regular posts about 'I think my school-assigned female is mad (behavioral indicators listed below) help??' rather than just... ask if you're upset.

Much like with Malleus, people often kind of forget about you, since the other housewardens actually go outside and thus attention is focused on them. Still, every now and then people ask him about you, which only provokes avoidant answers, as he assumes no one could have good intentions... although, really, that is likely a fair assumption, but even if someone was merely wondering how you're doing, he still tries to avoid the question (very ineptly, usually by just completely ignoring it and jumping to some other topic). Sometimes, if he's required to turn his camera on during gatherings, you'll be visible in the background, which he only notices a bit too late and goes to anxiously shove you out of the view of the lens, brushing off anyone who takes the opportunity to ask about you.

He's also just rather fascinated with you in general. He stares quite a bit from the other side of the room, you've decided not to tell him how noticeable it is. Just watching you go about normal tasks is intriguing, curious to see if you do things any differently from how most people do it -- sometimes your motions seem more soft or gentle by comparison, or you have to compensate for whatever you lack by roundabout methods, such as the time he watched you run a jar under hot water to make it easier to open. How ingenuitous.

-

All that aside, this whole system can't sustain itself for very long. It creates too much of a problem. Individual housewardens complain to administration that they're essentially being harassed, there's a lot of aggression, there was even a very coincidental "accident" that kinda looked a bit suspiciously like an actual homicide attempt on one of the housewardens. The administration didn't really have a good idea of what they were doing when they set the whole thing up, nor did they calculate the risks, and unfortunately they now handle the mess they've created with even worse forethought than that which they made the original plans with.

They can't just say "oh, well that didn't work, we're taking the girls back now" no, the students would be so mad they'd throw a fit about it, if not borderline riot. Instead, the solution is to bring in even more girls -- still only just a few more, the school IS on a budget you know -- and sort of designate them for communal use instead. A 30-1 male-female ratio per house should work, right? That sounds reasonable, they can handle that.

Except in does in fact not go over well. More importantly, they vastly overestimate the capacities of teenage boys to establish any sort of order. They just sort of randomly assign a few girls per house, tack a tracking collar onto them, give a quick introductory "this is yours now, treat it well" announcement and leave them sitting in the main halls of each dorm, because surely the boys can work out a fair rotational agreement without breaking out into chaos, right?

Well, no, apparently. It becomes evident within about 12 hours that there needs to be some sort of immediate intervention. Perhaps the phrase "before someone gets hurt" would be applicable to tack onto the end of that sentence, except by that point it's already a bit too late for that. Quite the mess on their hands... hopefully designing some kind of rotational schedule will work. If they can enforce it without devolving into further chaos, at least.

[outofangband]

Anonymous asked: this might be a bit of a lighter suggestion than you usually go for, but you mentioned in one of your ao3 fics that even namo the doomsman wouldn’t try to force maedhros to speak aloud some of the things that happened to him in angband. would you mind writing a short fic or speculating about how that conversation between the both of them went?

I Am so sorry for the delay anon! Let me know if this is ok or you want anything different!

I’m a bit nervous about this, it’s my first serious attempt at Maedhros post death (I have my very silly Anti Morgoth Support Group series of course) and I’m not sure I’m pleased with how I wrote the dialogue here so I’ll want to revisit this but I hope it’s ok!

My response: it was many, many conversations with both Námo himself, sometimes Nienna and later Estë and many Maiar as well as Maedhros’s family and support.

Here is one conversation. This is well post War of Wrath, years after the host of Valinor has returned. Maedhros has been in the Halls for some time now and after the first few years has been largely cooperative in addressing his own wrongdoings. But in a far more “I am irredeemably awful and hopeless way” that is ultimately unhelpful to both his victims and others he has hurt as well as to him.

Here, Maedhros is asked to share a single memory.

CW: past torture, death, mentions of the kinslayings

“It does not matter,” the fëa said stiffly, “It does not mitigate my crimes.”

“No, it does not mitigate them,” the Maia agreed, “But you are not here merely for what you have done. I am a warden but this is no prison. To address what you have done, you must address all that has occurred. Including what you did not do. What you had no control in. Is that frightening?”

“I killed the innocent,” the little fëa glows brighter, “I became no better than my enemies. It matters not what happened before that.”

“Your remorse is genuine.” The aid to the Doomsman speaks firmly but not unkindly, “I would not yet see fit to speak with you if it was not. Nor is your desire for repentance false. But while some may use their suffering to ignore their own deeds, you use your deeds to ignore your suffering and that is not a part of your true regret and I will not allow it, Nelyafinwë Maitimo.”

There is a silence in the halls. The room is dim and quiet but there is no emptiness here. The lights that emanate from the high ceiling appear almost alive. When the fëa can focus upon them it sees they are faceted from a million little parts. He can lose himself in them if the Vala would allow him to.

“What do you believe could occur should you speak of your imprisonment?” The question surprises the fëa and its glow takes on a protective element.

“Nothing tangible, physical,” it says with a note of almost sarcasm, “I have spoken of it before, after all.”

“Tell me one memory.”

“Why? Do you enjoy hearing of such things?” The cold retort is far from the worst the Maia has heard and he has never required courtesy in this particular arena.

“I wish to hear how you speak of such things. How you remember here. You can choose which memory and how much detail you share.”

There is another pause. The Maia cannot quite say if the fëa is deciding upon a memory or deciding if it will answer.

“I will tell you one and it is no secret so do not expect that.”

“I do not and have not,” the Maia says gently.

“They branded me for the first time shortly after I arrived. Here.” The fëa gestures to a sliver of gold where the side of his torso was in his living form.

“I told myself I would not scream. I did scream. Of course I did.” It is far from the worst of his memories even amid the early days of Angband alone but it was as the Maia said; memories were different here, clearer. He sees the other Maia with the burning iron, the leather straps that kept him still so the brand could be cleanly applied, the orcish guards who still came to hold him down. The taunts he was sure he had forgotten ring plainly in his ears.

The light around the fëa flickers as it appears to gasp for breath it does not need.

“Does that suit your need?” It throws out viciously but the Maia is, as always, unfazed

“We need not speak of this any more today, Nelyafinwë,” the Maia says gently.

The Maia offers a hand to it. It does not accept but it seems to calm nonetheless.

(The branding piece is here)

[lucy90712]

Telling friends (pregnancy series)

Series masterlist

George:

George is on call with Dream and Sapnap like he usually is while I sit on the bed behind him doing some work on my laptop. He hasn't told either of them about the baby yet which has surprised me because he tells them everything including some things that I wish he hadn't but they don't seem to care. I have told him that he is allowed to tell them whenever he wants he just hasn't done it yet.

"Love can you come here for a minute" he asked

I got up and sat on his lap like I do all the time when he asks me to come and sit with him. He kissed my cheek and put an arm around my waist leaving a hand on my belly even though I'm not showing yet.

"Can I tell the boys about the little one?" He asked

"Of course you can you don't need to ask me this is your baby too" I said

He smile and unmuted himself so I went to leave him be but he kept hold of me so I stayed with him getting comfortable in my place on his lap.

"I have some exciting news for you guys" he said

"What is it? Don't tell me that you and y/n are engaged" Dream said

"Not quite but she is pregnant" he said

"What" Dream exclaimed

"No way we get to be uncles" Sapnap said

They continued to fight about who would be the best uncle before congratulating us and wanting to know more which George told them maybe with a little too much detail on some parts but again they weren't fazed.

Dream:

Me and Clay are sat in our bedroom while he talked to George planning things and I sat watching Netflix and occasionally chiming in with parts of the conversation. The two of them were talking about filming and streaming and trying to plan out days in the next few weeks where they could get together to do those things.

"What about the 17th at like 3pm to film your video?" George asked

"No that won't work y/n has and ultrasound at 3:15 so it will have to be later" clay replied

Clay turned round as soon as he realised what he said because he hasn't told any of his friends yet but because we talked about it with family and between the two of us it has become second nature. He looked so panicked probably because he wasn't sure if I wanted to tell other people yet even though I really don't mind him saying it.

"Shit I'm sorry babe I didn't mean to say that" he whispered giving me a hug

"It's ok you can tell people if you want to I'm not bothered" I assured him

He went back to his computer to explain himself to George who was beyond confused and concerned that there was something wrong with me. I'm very close with George and Sapnap to the point that when anything is wrong they also get concerned.

"Is y/n ok? Why does she need an ultrasound?" George asked

"She's fine she's ok the ultrasound is because she's pregnant" Clay said

"Oh my god no way congratulations" George said

The two of them talked about it for a bit and I left them to it only jumping in if they were talking about things only I really know.

Sapnap:

Sapnap and I haven't told any friends yet not really for any particular reason it is just a lot to keep worrying about what people are going to say when they find out, the worrying just makes me so exhausted on top of general tiredness. Sapnap has been wanting to tell karl out of all of his friends because he knows that he will be supportive and helpful especially because he knows Chris well who already has a baby. I was up for him talking to karl so he said he would tell him when they are next talking alone which happens to be today.

He wanted me to be there when he told him because he will admit that he doesn't really understand some things so I was there to tell some more of the details. He let me sit on his lap because it was comfier than the other chair in the room and he's been big on keeping me comfortable.

"Bro there's something I need to get off my chest" Sapnap started which seemed really over the top

"What is it? Is everything alright?" Karl questioned

"Everything's fine its just that y/n is pregnant" he said

"Thats great I'm so happy for you two how are things?" Karl said

We talked with him about how things are going and he gave us a little bit of advice which he had learnt from Chris but was mainly just reassuring which is just what the both of us especially me needed.

Quackity:

Alex is making a big deal out of telling everyone at once because he doesn't want to have to repeat himself over and over again telling different people at different times so he has managed to get if not everyone most people on the smp to get together this afternoon and we are going to tell them all at once.

I'm not so keen on this idea of making it such a big thing with everyone there at once especially in the afternoon because I'm normally quite tired by that point and having to talk to everyone at once sounds like a real ordeal. Alex has assured me that he will do most of the talking but he wants me to be there to hear everyone's reaction.

At around 4:30 everyone got into the call thinking that this was something serious or to do with the lore that Alex has been doing so no one has really made any jokes or anything and it feels so odd to be in such a serious environment when you are about to say this really big news. Despite that Alex started talking and saying that he has some big thing to say which got them all intrigued.

"We're expecting" we both said together

A mess of words and screams came through the speakers none of it could be made out as anything in particular but soon they kind of took turns in saying things so that we could understand what they were saying. All of them were very nice some made a few jokes because thats just how they are but it was all in good spirit.

Karl:

Karl is filming for mr beast gaming today which usually means if I'm free I get to go with him or at least visit him after filming. Karl brought me with him with the plans to tell all of them about the pregnancy today which he has been dying to do but just haven't had a good chance to.

They finished filming and were sat down for a bit before filming another video which gave us the perfect chance to tell them. Karl had wanted to tell them before any other friends because he spends so much time with them and Chris was the one that encouraged me to take the test.

"We have some news for you guys" I started

"Y/n's pregnant" karl finished

"Wait I was right when I said that a few months ago" Chris said

"Yeah we actually took the test that evening" I said

"That's so great" Jimmy said

"We can make cool content now" Karl said

I gave him a look at that comment even though I know he's just joking but I wouldn't be against making one or two videos with them just not doing a bunch of weird challenges.

Wilbur:

Naturally when telling friends Wilbur wanted to tell Tommy, Phil and techno first because they are all very close. He wanted to get them all together in person but it just wasn't possible so we decided to do it though discord instead. Wilbur got them all together to call this afternoon and he has his plan all prepared.

When the call started I let him talk to them for a while before I came in the room after Wilbur texted me. I came and sat with him and said hi to all of them handing Wilbur what he wanted under the desk and out of view of his camera.

"Oh I took this cool photo the other day let me show you" Wilbur said

He grabbed hold of the ultrasound picture I got for him and held it up to show his camera and watching his friends faces was so fun. Phil's reaction was my favourite he looked like he was about to cry out of pure happiness the others were just shocked.

"Congratulations you two this is so exciting" Phil said

"Wait so you guys" Tommy started

"Tommy don't finish that sentence" techno said anticipating something bad

"Fine but that's seriously so cool" Tommy said

All of them were very excited for the day they get to meet our little bean and demanded updates all the time which Wilbur is more than happy to give them.

[rubysunnday]

artemis and apollo

Requested by Anon - Hello! I love your bridgerton sister fics! I totally get if your too busy with requests but I would love a fic where the sister is put in some kind of danger (a guy is harassing her or something) and her big brothers save the day

A/N: this isn’t a part of my 1.5K celebration but I’ll shove it in with them. I throughly enjoyed writing this.

It was terrifying.

Eloise was with her - and complaining about it every other second - but that didn’t change just how terrifying it was.

Everyone was looking at her.

Which, considering she was a Bridgerton and was, apparently, the ‘Diamond’ of that season, was understandable. 

It was still terrifying.

“They’re not going to eat you, Y/N,” Colin whispered, a cheeky smile on his face as he leant closer to his sister.

“They might,” Y/N replied, shifting fractionally closer to Colin. She felt safer with her brother’s around (mainly because they intimidated any man who came within five feet of her). “Men could be predators. In fact, I think they are.”

Colin chuckled and grabbed her hand. “Stop panicking. I won’t leave your side, ok?”

“Unless Mother makes you,” Y/N replied, ever the pessimist. “I just... I don’t trust people I’ve never met. Especially men I’ve never met before. It’s a woman thing,” she added, noticing Colin’s slightly blank look. “I trust you and Anthony and Benedict to look out for me but once I’m engaged in a dance with a man, there’s no escape.”

Colin nodded. “Message received - do not leave you alone with strange men and do not let you dance with strangers.”

Y/N elbowed her brother in the stomach and he let out a grunt that turned a few heads. Colin coughed but straightened his waistcoat and cleared his throat.

“I think that was slightly unnecessary,” he muttered.

“I disagree,” Y/N replied haughtily. “I think it was entirely deserved.”

Y/N let out a soft sigh and tried not to let her disappointment at being forced to attend the ball obvious.

“Oh, hello,” Colin whispered into her ear. “Prince Nikolai is coming this way.”

Y/N perked up. Prince Nikolai was a distant nephew of Queen Charlotte and, perhaps, one of the sweetest men she’d ever met. Whilst Y/N and Nikolai had reached an understanding that neither one wanted to marry the other, they were still good friends and often danced with one another at balls to pass the time.

“Miss Bridgerton, Mr Bridgerton,” Nikolai greeted.

Y/N curtsied. “Your Royal Highness,” she said, standing up. “How are you tonight?”

“I’m very well, thank you Miss Bridgerton.” Nikolai looked at Colin. “I was wondering if you I could do you the honour of being your first dance tonight?”

Y/N smiled and nodded. “Of course, Your Royal Highness.”

Y/N took her arm out of Colin’s and accepted Nikolai’s. She gave her brother a brief, fleeting look as she headed for the dance floor and Colin gave her a reassuring smile in return.

“I do hope you don’t think me to forward, Miss Bridgerton, but I’ve heard some rumours regarding the Earl of Suffolk.”

Y/N closed her eyes momentarily. “Oh, yes. Him.”

The Earl of Suffolk was a presumptuous, prick of a man. He thought himself better than everyone else and assumed he could have whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Y/N, being the diamond of the season, had attracted the Earl’s attention. He’d put himself forward as a potential suitor and had even proposed and whilst a more naive girl than Y/N would be attracted to his title and money, Y/N suspected something wasn’t quite right with the Earl.

All it took was Anthony and her mother to ask around before discovering that the Earl’s ex-wife had died under mysterious circumstances two years previously. They'd only been married a year and it was rumour that his wife was barren.

Anthony had immediately put his foot down and refused the Earl’s proposal. Y/N had been grateful for her big brother but with the Earl still lurking around - and apparently very angry at the Bridgerton's - Y/N dreaded running into him.

“Did I speak out of turn?” Nikolai asked, looking at her in concern as they slowly danced around the room.

“No, no,” Y/N said, shaking her head. “My brother, Anthony, took control of the situation but something tells me that the Earl isn’t going to give up so easily.”

“If there’s anything I can do to assist you, please let me know,” Nikolai said, flashing a smile at her.

The song ended and Y/N smiled at him. He escorted her off the floor but was immediately overwhelmed by the debutantes and their mothers.

The mention of the Earl of Suffolk had put Y/N back on edge. She kept to the side of the room as she tried to make her way to her brothers, keeping her head down and hiding amongst the numerous guests.

She spotted Benedict in the corner with Eloise and turned to go in his direction when she spotted the Earl obviously looking for a Bridgerton. He spotted Benedict and began marching over to him with a furious expression on his face. Not wanting to be caught up in the argument that was sure to follow, Y/N turned on her heel and headed outside onto the terrace.

Outside was significantly cooler than inside. The sun had only just set and the moon was lighting up the terrace in a cool glow. Dotted around the terrace were numerous fire pits that lit up the gardens and provide enough light for an unchaperoned walk around. There were also a few footmen and servants outside including a lone violinist who was playing a soft tune.

Taking a chance - and assuming she would be watched by the few people and servants outside - Y/N descended the stairs to the garden and walked around it.

It didn’t have tall, sprawling hedges, merely short ones dotted with flowers or bunches of holly. There was a beautiful statue of Artemis set in the middle of the rose garden and Y/N found herself staring up at it in admiration.

Y/N and Colin were both big fans of the Greek mythology. Colin, being a man, got to study it in detail at university and upon his arrival home had imparted everything he knew on to his younger sister.

The two had spent hours together reading numerous stories and staring at paintings of the gods and goddesses.

Y/N had found herself relating to Artemis. The goddess of wild animals, the hunt, chastity and childbirth, Artemis had become a symbol of protection to Y/N and she’d tried to model herself on the myth.

“Miss Bridgerton, there you are.”

Y/N froze. She closed her eyes and forced herself to turn around and look at the Earl of Suffolk.

“My Lord,” she said, forcing herself to curtsey to the man. “What can I do for you?”

“I wondered if we might have a word?” The Earl said, stepping closer. “It’s just... your brother -”

“The matter is settled, Your Lordship,” Y/N said, stepping back. “My brother made my wishes, and his, very clear to you.”

The Earl tilted his head. “Do you think yourself... better than me?”

Y/N sighed softly, not wanting to take the bait and incite the man. “I think I should head back to the ball.”

She tried to walk past him but he snatched her wrist and pulled her to a sharp halt.

“Let go of me!” Y/N exclaimed, trying to pull away.

“You will marry me, Miss Bridgerton,” the Earl snarled, pulling her closer. “Because you will have no other choice.”

Y/N felt herself panicking. Panicking so much she wasn’t sure what to do. She tried to wriggle out from his grasp but his grip was tight and painful.

The Earl held her tight against him and Y/N did the only thing she could think of.

She kicked him in-between the legs.

The Earl grunted and immediately let go of her as he fell to his knees.

“Y/N!”

Y/N turned around saw her three brothers running towards her from across the garden. She quickly made distance between herself and the Earl and all but flung herself into Anthony’s arms as he reached her side.

“Are you alright?” He asked, looking her in the eye.

Y/N nodded even though her entire body was shaking. “Yes, I am now.”

Anthony nodded and gave her a quick squeeze. He handed her over to Colin as he and Benedict approached the Earl with matching steel cold looks on their faces.

“Are you sure you are alright?” Colin asked, tilting her head up to check she wasn’t injured.

“I’m fine, Colin,” Y/N promised, resting her head on his chest. “A little shaken but still in one piece. He didn’t get far enough to do anything,” she added.

Colin hugged her to him tightly and kissed her head. Y/N turned her head slightly and glanced behind her at the statue of Artemis.

The sound of a fist hitting someone’s face turned her attention back to the Earl and she tried not to look too pleased at the beating his face had taken from her two brothers.

“Come on,” Anthony said, shrugging his coat off and wrapping it around Y/N’s shoulders. “Let’s go home.”

Y/N reached over and grabbed Benedict’s hand as Anthony guided her across the garden and towards the side gate. Her three bodyguards protected her from anyone who was watching and soon they were walking down the front stairs to their carriage.

Benedict helped Y/N in and then sat on her right, Colin on her left. Y/N, who usually nagged her brothers about personal space and forced them to sit opposite her, said nothing. She shifted down in the seat and dropped her head on to Benedict’s shoulder, pulling Anthony’s coat tighter around her shoulders.

Anthony climbed in and sat opposite them with unhidden fury on his face. He glanced at his sister and it all disappeared, replaced by a soft and concerned expression.

Y/N smiled at him and nodded once. She reached out her foot and bumped his leg with her toe, reassuring him a bit more.

Benedict moved fractionally closer to Y/N and she felt herself feeling ever so thankful for her brothers.

Just like Artemis had Apollo, Y/N had Anthony, Benedict and Colin to protect her until her dying day.