#it's really dark actuallly

[weaponizedducks]

Hello! Your pinned post mentions The Shapeshifter books so 🫵 hi

Tell me about them. Who's your favourite character? What do you like about them?

(feel free to redeem this ask as a way to infodump if you want. license to yap)

omg hi hi!! i love you so much for asking this and im sorry for turning this ask into an infodump. definite spoilers for the shapeshifter below.

ok so my favourite character is lisa probably bc shes iconic and her instincts when something goes wrong is just to attack. either verbally or physically. also her backstory is so sad??? like she predicts someones about to die but she doesnt know thats what her visions mean (bc her visions are very cryptic and she was like 10 at the time) so she only realised when the girl died and then blamed herself?? like what??? these books are so dark for a kids series. i think she deserved a gun and also to say fuck. i really love her relationship with dax also theyre just so cute. like she'll by fully attacking someone and he's like :). isnt she so pretty :). theyre a bi4bi power couple i just know it.

also she fully had a doomed wlw situationship with mia and i fear we dont talk about it enough. mia was fully in love with her both before and after she went evil. like they very much gave cherik for a hot moment there. actually now that i'm thinking about it shapeshifters is very x men coded. so yeah im never getting over lisa and mia but i do love her and dax so im not mad.

MIA OH MY GOD. I LOVE MIA SO MUCH. never before has someone so deserved their villain arc. she's like morgana. i LOVED the subversion of her being the sweet healer-y type and then going batshit insane with her healer powers. like kinda using them for...nefarious purposes shall we say. she's still very sweet she's just very cunty and evil now.

i also love alice especially in the last book bc. shes just a kid. her mother's shit. stepmom neglected dax and smothered alice while never actuallly listening to her wants and needs. and their fathers never there. i wish we had gotten to see alice and dax bond more over their shitty parents. they could have been the best sibling duo. also shes badass and she would have loved wearing pink to see barbie (2023).

gideon for me is one of those characters who is so into women it just wraps around into him being gay. he's like lance mcclain to me. he deserved a boyfriend. also i think he's bi (i think everyone's bi. i don't think there's a single straight character in these books. minus mr grey). i love gideon he's so mecore. he's also traumatised!!! and he has a twin brother and an evil twin sister who's thirteen and ripped out her brother's tongue.

on the subject of gid's evil twin sister she is SUCH an interesting character to me. like obviously i hate catherine but she's so fascinating. her power means she can never stay with someone for too long or she'll end up killing them. she never has her own likes or hobbies or talents- she borrows someone elses because she feels herself isnt good enough. she crucified a man. she's killed three adoptive mothers. sort of on purpose. she just wants to be loved. she drowned an entire school with a massive tidal wave after leeching their powers. she was killed with fire. she was french for a while. she's perpetually thirteen years old.

i love the series as a whole but i think it had so much potential to be more. it was already pretty dark (windmill scene. need i say more) but it was technically a teen fantasy series, and i feel if they committed to a YA age rating and went all out with the horror and the very clear 'fuck the government' theme that was present throughout the whole series it could have been amazing. i have so many ideas for these books and what they could have done (note i love the books so much as they are but god. what we could have had if they weren't technically kids books).

also just realised i forgot to talk abt owen!!! gay father figure of our hearts. he accidentally adopts a bunch of motherless children and then he commits to it for the rest of his life. he canonically faked his death to live in a cave in spain with his superpowered male best friend. he's killed quite a few people.

this is the end of the Yap. in conclusion none of these characters are either normal or know how to function in society. i love these books. theyre like xmen and harry potter combined. but no jk rowling so win

[quietbluejay]

Betrayer 12

Necromancy (several old and middle aged ladies have the worst day of their lives), and Lorgar conducts an orchestra

back to Kharn and it's time for more cringing!

you know it's too bad this isn't a comic or animated or something so we can't do a funny montage of "it took a lot to make Kharn cringe" and then show every single cringing incident

lol Erebus has 17 slaves chained up in his rooms who are all chanting

they're both such a mess

man you know I've thought this before but their friendship is pretty weird

it just seems like they're constantly going after each other's morality and I'm kind of going "do you two do anything but argue?"

and then neither of them ever do anything but just go back to their respective atrocities every time it gets serious they sort of just…break it up

the thing where you have no one else you can talk to so you spend your time with someone you don't particularly agree with or even sometimes like that much, because you do get along sometimes, and it's better than being alone and you think that's friendship

it fits very much with them being basically overgrown teenagers i think they do care about each other but they don't actually like each other that much

that really does distill down Argel Tal's contradictions, doesn't it it's because he considers living by objective truth to be the highest good that supersedes anything else, and makes the things that would otherwise be evil into good i mean you could say it's Chaos twisting him but it's the sort of thing that can happen normally too oh lovely we get a detailed description of Cyrene's mostly decayed body it's pretty gross kharn: oh no i just know it he's going to start wearing that disgusting burial shroud as a cape if this doesn't work out kharn:…or even if it does and then things start to get spooky

and then the next guy beats himself to death by- actually the details aren't super relevant

Cyrene is about to have the worst wakeup ever oh actually this really is interesting okay so remember how ages ago I talked about how there's this metaphorical glass wall between us and the ugliness of combat, the actual flesh and blood well the wall has been gone for this entire scene

we've been getting extremely detailed descriptions of blood and flesh and bone the smell and the feel it's kind of appropriate that the most otherworldly scene is the one most grounded in reality

as an example

hey welcome back Cyrene! and she even gets a welcoming committee

we get a short summary of her backstory

so she's actually in her 50s but

i remember seeing elsewhere this was done largely for propaganda purposes

Cyrene is horrified by Argel Tal's daemonic features (the wings) she's also freaked out by the crowd

lmao kharn Cyrene asks who he is

Kharn is actuallly a bit worried he's going to be overcome by the crowd and he gives into the nails man they're really rolling out the red carpet for Cyrene

you see why I thought this would be a good self-insert point

and we're back to Lorgar listening to and trying to conduct the cursed music of the evil spheres

:) Lorgar doesn't trust Erebus' visions

oh yeah ADB had a little fun with this bit

also lorgar just casually musing on the ultimate problem of the imperium

if he was grinning before he sure was chortling when he wrote this bit man what writer doesn't love writing dramatic irony

oh he's got an actual choir it wasn't a metaphor

not sure if they're seeing the future or the present might be the past too oh time for Angron to show up

lmao oh they're Lotara's astropathic choir which Lorgar is "borrowing" Angron's bodyguards are also with him Lorgar feels a bit bad for them, Angron doesn't like them

well Angron if you keep losing your head im sorry i had to go for t he low-hanging fruit so we get an answer about the choir

angron: dude that's dark

[doomednarrative]

turning the question back on you. top five fave song lyrics?

Hehe this is actuallly something I think about a lot ngl

“Don’t swear to God, he never asked you / It’s not his heart you drove a knife through” from “In The Dark” by Bring Me The Horizon

Really I could say that the whole of “Blast Doors” by Everything Everything is my favorite, so much that I have it all memorized, but the lines “ Whether you're a have not or a have I got a question / Are you living dead or is it some kind of possession?” are my favorite of the whole thing

The entire second verse and pre chorus from “Get Your Wish” by Porter Robinson made me cry the first time I heard it: “Don't say you lose just yet / Get up and move ahead / And not only for yourself' / Cause that's your role / The work that stirred your soul / You can make for someone else / One day you choke, your urges overflow / And obsession wears you down / But don't you waste the suffering you've faced /  It will serve you in due time.”

The second half of the first verse in “2econd 2ight 2eer” by Will Wood is both clever and just fun to sing so I love it: I’m cut from a different kind of meat More than you can chew, hard to swallow me Forget bored stiff, I got rigor mortis, call it morbid curiosity How can I commit to reality, when my third eye’s open and I like what I see? Baby, I may be crazy but I didn’t lose it, no I set it free

Putting Everything Everything on here twice cause part of the reason I love them so much is their weird lyrics but the third and fourth verse on “Armourland” is a favorite of mine because of the imagery it evokes for me: “What if the first step was leaving? / And stepping outside in the cold end? / Face in the smoke and you're lurching / Down the alleys, kiss me / And how many lives lived in fear now? / And who do we call in the end, end? / There was a pattern of errors /  There was a life here to mend, mend / I wasn't watching, the cold passed / Through my body slowly /  And echoes of all wars are beaming / Rattling 'round in the end, end”

[noro-noro-noro]

long dream but i realized my alarms didn't go off & jumped out of bed really fast, so all i have is like the last scene, which is mostly about getting our truck that can drive on water crushed to death in a machine & then talking the guy that controlled the machine out of it. i'm really hungry for pizza.

- in some kind of small museum area with 4 ir 5 disply boxes. the museum is either run by or just featuring some relatively young for that position guy i think early 30s. anyway he kind of seemed like a dick.

- people "in my party" included me, my friend (real), & my other friend (not real, but a somewhat timetraveller). anyway the museum curator/owner guy was secretly kind of a dick. he'd hired us to investigate something - when we looked too closely at some of the artifacts it pulled us to the bay where it was a 2d minigame of a guy driving a truck around on top of & below the water, mostly interacting with a couple different nodes that had color coded icons (i think 7 of them?), & a central cruise or storange ship.

- brief interlude in this scene that was like i was doing a creepy dungeon level of a puzzle where you'd need to control 2 people & my ex was like the character they'd placed in the dungeon for me to also have to use & it was unpleasant & uncomfortable & he was doing this whole thing where he was being like really sanctimonius about the fact i told him to go to hell on an instagram post in 2020 & like "well i never told you to kill yourself" & i was like jesus christ if i didn't need you to stand on that button to free this crate i'd fucking eradicate you. you dumped me because you wanted to fuck my roommate man & were, in fact, doing that a week later, and refused to admit your behavior was wrong. like just admit it to yourself you're delusional if you think i'm not justified. anyway at the end of the level he like went into his house or whatever & i thougght about blwoing it up but i also remembered i wanted to get a perfect score on this level & killing him would detract points.

- anyway! my friend (not time traveller) was controlling the truck. there was supposed to be a more robust series of choices & doing them in a certain order would unlock a more personal ending since hte other ones were just allying with one of the 7 shpes. they each required the ocean to be terraformed in some way - one was like a barren ocean with a lot of bubbles, one had a dark blue icon tht implied a super lush ocean, i think the mental image was fontaine ocean at sunset so everything was kind of greenish. like subnautica kelp forest but less scary/more visibility. there were a lot of icons. they were done in a bold vector style with a slight gradient in like..jewel tones lol.

- as previously said! the choices weren't working out so well so my friend was just locked into supporting one of the icons & he was complaining about it because none of the icon endings were hte "true" ending. Because the millinoaire museum man was actuallly evil and would try to crush us to death with his cruise ship mecha - it'd surround us with its limbs & then start pushing inwards. i assume there was a puzzle to be freed before the boat got too cramped since there was a magnet block that we could hide under and around to prevent the worst of the damage, but in the end the final area was a weird shape and the block wouldnt save us. my friend was getting pissed off at the bugginess of the choice system. i could feel physical pain whenever the truck was crushed in the cutesy 2D interface.

- the time traveller ended up having the right idea - he took us back to the museum's opening, where we saw the museum curator guy doing his first exhibition. he had the power to draw anything & within this room grant the audience aspects of that power. his art wasn't super great, but with some encouragement, maybe he could flourish! the power also might have been from the most central display case in that room. i'm not otally sure i know it was related somehow.

- in the timetraveler's vision he could see the flow of what normally happened sort of vaguely, like if he grabbed a rope and unspooled it, all the details were in the fibers. and he saw that the curator was pushed into displying osmething that granted the audience like a magic wand with projectile powers & they all had soo much fun with that blasting things and breaking shit rather than looking at his other pieces. this led him down the path to evil.

- instead of having him display that, the time traveller secretly swapped out the magic wand one in favor of showing his other (medicore but with spirit!) drawings. curator recognized him as a time traveller & asked eagerly if he was famous & well known for his art in the future. the time traveller told him that people aren't allowed to ask about that kind of stuff (which is a true rule of time traveller society though they don't tell their rules to outsiders much) & instead asked him questions about the art pieces. curator took the bait t& eagerly started talking about llike...his weird alien oc. the fact that someone encouraged him now not for his power or ability but just out of curiosity seemed to eradicate hte bad timeline where it felt like my fingers were getting crushed to death. yay!

woke up then

[cosmicsnowcryptid]

Remains to be Seen

Thank you for the 900 followers, lovely owlets. As promised, I wrote you a little something. Actually, well, a lot of something. It’s incredibly long. 

I had you vote on who you’d like me to write about- The Host or Darkiplier- and… well, you’ll see.

While this is a reader insert, it is pure angst, featuring lots of blood. There is no romance or fluff. Not even close. I actually had to go through and rewrite a portion of it, because it was way too dark, even by my standards. (That’s really saying something, too. Oops.) It’s still incredibly dark, actually. So, you know, apologies in advance.

This is not a happy story, because the entities you are dealing with do not live happy lives.

Enjoy.

You don’t trust him. You don’t trust any of them.

But you don’t have a choice.

Not anymore.

The feeling of your hand gently rapping against the door is a comforting one. There’s nothing particularly special about the door itself, except for the fact that it exists; in this place, a place of void and shadows, anything truly tangible is a welcome relief.

“Come in,” a voice calls. You swallow back your fear and walk inside, silently willing your legs to stop shaking. Whatever’s in there can’t be any worse than what’s out here.

When you had questioned the others, all four gave the same description: a man with no eyes, one who lived in self-exile in the darkness. You expected to encounter something equally as horrifying as the man you were now trying to escape, the one who could warp and twist the world around you in flashes of red and blue, filling your skull with a piercing ring and your mind with thoughts that weren’t your own. What you weren’t expecting was... this.

“Please close the door behind you.” His voice is gentle and clear. “I don’t want the warmth to escape.”

You nod once, stupidly, before realizing he can’t see you. A blush creeping up your cheeks, you quietly murmur an “okay” and shut yourself in the room.

The bookshelves around you are stuffed to the brim, books stacked haphazardly upon each other and in piles along the floor. This should make the already small space feel constricting, but instead it’s oddly cozy. The warm lighting and earth tones in the room make your shoulders relax instinctively. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that you feel… safe.

“Would you like to introduce yourself, or would you like me to do it for you?” His head tilts up to meet your gaze, and you find yourself grateful that he’s wearing clean, neat bandages.

“I’m not… I don’t know what you mean.” You admit.

A soft smile graces his lips. “You can tell me what you look like, or I can see for myself. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.”

“Um.” You look down at yourself, suddenly self-conscious. “You can see.” You say, although you still don’t understand what that means.

Almost immediately, his voice slips into a lower, more even rhythm, as if reading from a script. “The Host studies the stranger standing before them, trying to read their facial expression.” His words become increasingly quieter until you can hardly decipher them. You pick out a few- something about height, the anxiety in your eyes, the shape of your lips, possibly. After a moment, his voice picks back up.

“...realizes that the visitor is uncomfortable and straining to hear. The Host offers his apologies, explaining that his narration was only for his benefit, to understand what the stranger looks like, and he didn’t know that they would want to hear. He shares with them that there is no reason to be afraid of admitting that they didn’t know what was happening, and they are always welcome to ask him if they are confused. The Host gestures to the chair in front of the desk, offering it to the stranger, before he slips out of his narration.”

You blink hard and take him up on his offer, settling into the plushness of the chair in front of you. “...Oh.” is all you can think to say.

“I hope that didn’t startle you. I know that can be a little unsettling at first.” He rests his hand on the book in front of him, gently brushing his finger over the raised dots on the paper before closing it softly.

Softly, softly, softly. Everything he does, everything about him, seems soft.

“No, it’s okay.” You insist quickly. “I just didn’t know what you meant. They didn’t tell me much about you. They made you sound like some sort of… oracle or something.”

“That’s not entirely off-base. Just a little more ominous than I’d like. I can only see things as I say them, but my voice can outpace events. It’s a bit of a trade-off, you see. Talking like this, I am in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. I don’t know what will happen or what is happening around me, unless it’s something one of my other senses can help me understand. When I’m narrating, however, I see more than I ever could when I had my vision. It comes with the curse of always being a few seconds away from the present. You can see how that would be…”

“...anxiety-inducing.” You finish his sentence without entirely meaning to. He gives one short nod.

“I was going to say ‘isolating’. But that works as well.”

You look down at his desk, studying the items on display to avoid looking at his face any longer. There is too much sadness there, too much grief, and knowing that you can’t do anything about it makes your heart ache. Although he is technically one of them, you get the sense that he feels almost as trapped in this place as you do.

He pushes aside the recording microphone that rests in the middle of the desk in order to fold his hands on the table. “I assume you’re here for a reason.”

“I… yes. I am. I need your help. They said you help people.” You feel an unusual pang of guilt in your heart, wondering if anyone ever visits Host simply to provide him with company.

“Who are ‘they’?”

“They…” You frown. “The four. The ones that answer your questions. They’re the only ones who will talk to me here. I think… I think they have to, though. I asked them for help, and they told me they couldn’t, so I asked if they knew someone who could.” Almost as an afterthought, you add, “I think one was called Oliver. I’m not sure about the others.”

The Host leans back in his chair a bit, giving a small sigh. “Let me guess. ‘A man with no eyes, self-exiled into the darkness, beyond the shadows but not beyond their reach.’ Am I close?”

“That’s… exactly what they said, actually. It seemed a bit cryptic considering how concise they were about everything else.”

The sound of his quiet laugh is not exactly bitter, but is lacking any semblance of joy. “It’s not their fault. That’s the only description they have in their database, and I can’t exactly blame them for that.” He clears his throat. “Now, I would very much like to help you. I will let you explain the situation yourself, but if you need help at any point, I can narrate for you. Does that sound alright?”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, letting yourself melt a little more into the chair. This is a safe place. I have someone on my side now. I’m not alone.

“That sounds wonderful. So… um, I don’t know exactly how you can help me. If you can help me. But I need to get out of here. I just want to go home.”

He absently nods, considering your words. “That shouldn’t be too difficult to arrange. I don’t know why no one else was willing to help you. It’s unusual for someone to end up here on accident, but it’s happened before. I don’t know why they sent you to me instead of guiding you back themselves.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence as you shift in your seat. “Well, it wasn’t really an accident.”

Host’s entire body suddenly tenses up, his fingernails digging into the fabric of the chair. “...How did you get here, then?”

The anxiety radiates from him in waves, disrupting the serene feel of the study. Your heart drops as the feeling of safety leaves you all at once. “I- um. I don’t remember the details. It’s a bit fuzzy, with, um…”

Your stuttering is interrupted by his narration voice, still smooth, but a bit more strained than before. “The stranger can’t recall all of the details of the event, and the Host, riddled with anxiety, takes over the conversation for a moment. If he prods the stranger, he will find out the details they do remember. They recall only bits and pieces of the situation leading up to their arrival here. Desperation, pain, the smell of smoke. They remember crying. They remember faces, blurs of motion. A scream. It may have been their own.”

“Host?” You slowly begin to rise from your chair, alarmed at the increasing intensity of his words, feeling a twist in your gut as your memories are recounted in front of you.

“The stranger tries to cut him off, deciding not to reveal any more of their memories, but it’s too late. The Host has already seen the diverging paths, the way the future may have gone, and he has heard their story. He knows.”  His breathing speeds considerably, and your hand hovers in midair, as if to touch his shoulder. He moves out of the way before your arm is even in motion, pulling his chair back sharply and raising his voice.

“He knows what the stranger has done. He has seen the paths that the future may have taken, and he has seen the one where all is revealed. He cannot help the stranger. He will not help the stranger. They must leave immediately.”

You pull back, stepping around the chair as if to put something in between the two of you. “Host, what happened? What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“THE STRANGER KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID.” He shouts, hands balling into fists. “And if the Host had known, he would not have allowed them entry. The Host cannot undo what the stranger has done. The stranger has made a deal with Dark, one that they did not uphold, and that is why they have been brought to this place. The stranger wants the Host to cross Dark, to help them get away, and the Host would not help someone escape a deal with Dark. The Host would never disrespect Dark. The stranger must leave, now.”

Your eyes widen as you watch his trembling figure, and all at once, you realize what is happening.

“The Host begs the stranger not to ask.” His voice is now a whisper.

But it’s too late. The words have already left your mouth. “Host, why are all the lights on in here?”

He takes a shallow, ragged breath and backs away from his desk until his back is pressed against the wall. You begin to back away, too, one hand in front of you as if for protection, the other behind to search for the doorknob.

“Host?”

No reply. You hesitate for a moment, watching his face pale and his knees wobble dangerously. You can’t leave him like this, can you? Your self-preservation instincts scream at you to turn and run,  but he looks so… vulnerable.

“The Host insists one last time-” He begins, voice breaking on nearly every other syllable.

“Host.”

“The Host can’t breathe. The Host is terrified. The Host is begging, please, please, please. The stranger will get in trouble. The Host will be hurt again. Please, please, please.”

“Host, what did he do to you?” Your hand brushes against the doorknob, but you don’t make a move to leave.

“You don’t know what he’s capable of, he tells the stranger, he yells at the stranger, he SCREAMS TO THE STRANGER THAT THIS IS THEIR LAST CHANCE TO LEAVE.”

“Host, was he here? Did he hurt you?” And then, dread lacing through your veins, turning them to ice, you quietly add,

“We’re not alone right now, are we?”

Everything happens in slow motion.

The Host slides down the wall, gripping his knees to his chest and letting out a choked whimper. At the same time, you spin around and try to rip the door open.

The handle will not budge.

When you turn back to face him, another figure has placed themselves between the two of you, drenched in shadow and wearing a wolf’s grin.

“The Host is so, so sorry.” You hear him murmur. “He should have known why the stranger approached him. He should have narrated. He should have made the stranger leave. And now it’s too late. The Host is so, so sorry.”

“Don’t pay any attention to him,” the man in front of you says, waving a hand dismissively. “He can’t help but narrate when he’s upset. And he tends to get upset when I find out that he has tried to betray me, again.” He makes a soft tsk in the back of his throat and turns to regard the other man.

“What am I going to do with you, Host?” He sighs, weaving his hands behind his back and taking a few slow steps in the Host’s direction.

“The Host is so very sorry. He did not mean to betray Dark, but he did not want to watch another stranger get hurt in his room. The ringing in his head is growing stronger, and it hurts. It hurts so much. The Host wants nothing more than to make it stop. The Stranger is still standing by the door, but they are unable to move, no matter how hard they try. They have to watch, just as the other visitors have, just as the Host has had to watch so many times.” The words are barely more than whines.

“Have to watch what? What do I have to watch?” The words escape without your permission. Why won’t you move? Why can’t you move? Why won’t you help him?

“The Host has always had to watch. The Host has had to watch since he was the Author. The Host has had to watch Dark use him to get to other people, to hurt other people. Dark’s influence was so much stronger than the Author’s, and he filled the Author with hatred. Anger. A lust for blood. He made the Author destroy lives, and when he started faltering, when he was too weak and the characters could fight back, Dark showed him things.”

“That’s a decent summary.” Dark muses. He’s standing over the Host now, regarding him with a pleasant expression. “And what kind of things did I show you, Host?”

“Dark would take away his influence, release control of the Author, and then he would make the Author watch what he had done. He made the Author watch them scream, watch them writhe on the ground, watch them beg for death. Look at what you’ve done, Dark would tell the Author. This is what you wrote. This is what you do to people. How could you be such a monster? As the Host continues to tell the story, Dark removes the physical restrictions that were placed on the stranger, silently inviting them to step forward and watch.”

It takes you a moment to realize that he has switched back to the present, and you take a tentative step forward.

“A little closer, dear.” Dark invites. “No need to worry, I don’t bite. I want you to be able to see. Come and look.”

Your eyes flick between the two men. Although they have the same general features, the Host looks so much more… fragile. You bend down to his level, close enough that you can see the indentations in his bandages, the concave markings where his eyes once were.

“Good.” Dark whispers in your ear. You don’t know when he moved behind you- and, in fact, you don’t know when you moved so close to the Host. When did you take more than a single step at all?

“The stranger’s confusion is justified. Dark’s influence can make a person do things without their knowledge. It terrifies the stranger. It terrifies the Host, too. The Host begs the stranger to put the letter opener down.”

What?

As the words come out of his mouth, you become acutely aware of the sharp object in your hand. Why do you have it? When did you pick it up?

“The stranger is inching closer with the blade. The Host cannot fight back. Dark is smiling.”

You blink, and you’re suddenly holding the weapon inches from the Host’s face. You let out a gasp, one that turns into a shriek, and fling the letter opener across the floor, letting it skitter to a stop against Dark’s foot.

“What are you making me do?” You demand, standing abruptly and whirling on Dark.

He gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder and tilts his head, almost looking sympathetic.

“Host, do you remember when you were shot?” Even though his words are directed elsewhere, his eyes remain locked on you.

“The Host could never forget.”  

“And I saved your life, did I not?”

“Yes. The Host is indebted to Dark. He owes Dark. Without Dark, he would be nothing.”

“But I saved it on one condition. We don’t have to get into the details. I’m sure our friend here doesn’t care about the ins and outs of our business deals. Let’s skip forward a bit, shall we? To the part where you broke our agreement. You had only one rule and you failed to keep it. And what was the punishment?”

Dark’s arm snakes around your waist and he shifts slightly, placing you side by side, facing the Host. His grip is firm, almost painful, and a violent shiver races up your spine.

The Host does not reply.

“Oh, come now. You’re an author, are you not? And we have a guest here who is patiently waiting to hear your story. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them, would you? So, let me ask again. What was the punishment?”

“The Host… struggles to narrate with-with the pressure. It hurts. The Host would b-be more understandable if Dark would s-stop the ringing in his head.”

Dark’s fingers dig into your side, keeping you from reaching for the tortured man on the ground. “I can understand you perfectly well. Tell our friend what the punishment was, and then I’ll consider helping you.”

Another long pause.

“...She was so kind.” The Host’s voice is almost inaudible. “She was kind to the Author. She understood what he had been through. She knew that he was only operating under Dark’s influence, and that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. He had never wanted to hurt anyone. And she knew. She was gentle, and she was patient, and she was so, so beautiful. The Author… he wrote so many stories about her after his abilities waned, after they no longer affected the world around him. He loved her. It’s impossible to put into words how much he truly, deeply loved her.” He wavers, and for a moment you think he may pass out. You want to wrap him in your arms, to stop the pain, to help him breathe.

But still you stand, doing nothing.

“And?” Dark urges.

“...And the Author killed her. Dark had saved the Author’s life, and the Author had broken his promises. He had tried to run away with the girl. So Dark got in his head, and he made the Author kill her. He stabbed her. He stabbed her over and over and when she wasn’t dead he strangled her and there was so much blood and she was screaming and the Author was screaming and there was so so much blood and then Dark, Dark made him watch, he made him watch it over and over and HE DIDN’T WANT TO SEE IT, HE DIDN’T WANT TO SEE IT EVER AGAIN, HE WANTED TO STOP SEEING IT BUT HE COULDN’T AND IT WAS THERE WHEN HE HAD HIS EYES CLOSED AND IT WAS THERE WHEN HE HAD THEM OPEN AND THEN HE GOUGED THEM OUT SO HE WOULD NEVER HAVE TO SEE IT AGAIN BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP IT, IT NEVER STOPPED and and and there is so, so much blood.” His nails dig into his face wildly, clawing at the bandages. “So much blood. So much.” He doesn’t seem to be aware that he is even speaking anymore, repeating the phrase until the words jumble together into an intangible babble. “Somuchbloodsomuchbloodsomuchsomuch.”

You thrash against Dark’s grip, throwing your arm out to the Host in a desperate attempt to latch onto him and pull his hands from his face. “You bastard.” You hiss. “Are you making him watch it again? You BASTARD. Let me GO. Host, listen. Listen, come back to me. It wasn’t your fault. You’re hurting yourself. Please stop.”

“It was his fault, though.” Dark purrs in your ear. “He made a deal, and he didn’t follow through. He clearly hasn’t learned his lesson yet, has he? Because when he found out why you were here, he tried to let you go. That sounds rather unrepentant, doesn’t it?” You can’t see his expression, but you can feel his amusement as you struggle, watching the blood soak through the Host’s bandages and streak his face like tears.

“And this,” he lightly grabs your wrist and uses your own hand to gesture to the Host, “is your fault.”

You stop thrashing.

How? You’re not sure if you say it out loud or not, but either way, he seems to hear you.

“I am a forgiving man. I brought you here to give you a second chance, another try at holding up your end of our deal. That’s a kind of mercy that no one else would ever offer you. And yet, I look away for one second and you try to betray me.” He gives a heavy sigh, laced with faux regret. “Instead of accepting my generosity, you tried to turn the Host against me. And now look what’s happened.”

The Host is on his side now, curled up in the fetal position, cradling his head between his hands.

“How could you do this?” Dark’s voice echoes in your mind. “He didn’t deserve this, did he? See, this kind of thing is why he’s hidden himself in this room, away from everyone. People like you are the reason he lives in fear. Just look at what you’ve done.”

“Th’host so sorry.” The man on the floor mumbles.

“He can’t even snap himself out of his narration. It’s pathetic. And look at all that blood. He was only trying to help.”

You sway a little, only being held up by Dark’s arm around your waist. The grip is no longer painful- it’s strong enough to keep you upright, but loose enough that you can feel how dangerously close to toppling you really are.

“Dark’s n the stranger’s head. He-his t-the shadows in their mind and his influence k-keeps them- k-keeps- he’s in their head n the stranger they know, they know and they can’t stop it. There was so much blood. The Host, he- he is so, so sorry. He knows the stranger doesn’t want to. He knows. B-but that doesn’t stop him from being afraid.”

“‘Doesn’t want to’ do what? Host, what don’t I want to do?” You feel Dark’s rumbling laugh against you as you struggle to speak.

“Look at that.” His voice is doubled, tripled, an entire jury condemning you at once. “After everything you did to him, he’s still trying to clear your conscience. It’s such a shame that you’d let this happen to him. What’s even worse is that, even after watching all of this suffering, it’s just not enough for you. You’re going to stab him, too. That’s just cruel.”

The letter opener is back in your palm. Your eyes drift in and out of focus. You try to drop the weapon. Your hand curls around it instead.

“The stranger pushes away from Dark’s grip and drops to their knees, hovering over t-the Host.”

The metal in your hand glints under the lights. It is cold. So cold.

“They run their h-hand over the Host’s side and push away his coat. Dark is smiling again.”

Your fingers brush against him, and through the fabric of his shirt, you can feel the scar tissue.

“The stranger wonders how many times this has happened to the Host. The answer is many, many times. The Host should have stopped trying to help his visitors long ago. He is lonely, though, so lonely, and he clings to the company they give him. The Host must learn that he cannot trust anyone. He should not trust anyone but Dark. The strangers, the visitors, they watch him suffer, they break him. And then Dark puts him back together.”

“I can’t believe you would do this.” Dark chides you. “He was the only one here who wanted to help you- besides myself, of course. This is heartless. You know that, don’t you? And yet, you’re going to do it anyway.”

“The Host is s-so, so sorry. He knows that the stranger doesn’t want to. He knows that Dark’s influence is making them do it, is keeping th-them silent. They want to scream, but all they can do is cry. They are trying to tell him something. Dark is not putting you back together. He is the one breaking you. Those are the words that are stuck in the stranger’s throat. But what they don’t understand is that Dark is doing both, and it is a mercy. He uses the visitors against the Host so that the Host can learn. If the Host stops letting them in, Dark will not need to use others against him.”

Dark claps once, the sound distorted and harsh. “I’m so proud of you.” His voice is velvet. “You learn more and more each time. Maybe this time will truly be the last.”

“I can’t do this.” You manage to force the words past your lips in an almost inaudible whimper.

He clucks his tongue. “You think much too highly of yourself.”

“The Host is so, so sorry. The stranger is, too. They run their hand along the side of Host’s face, softly, before sinking th-the blade…. His side, between his r- between his ribs… they twist. It hurts. H-hurts.”

His words trail off. They morph into a strange choking noise. A gurgling sound.

He is silent.

“Look at what you’ve done.” Dark is behind you now, twisting your wrists, forcing you to look at the palms of your hands. “If you had just done what I asked, this never would have happened. Do you understand why it’s so important to listen to me, now? Why you need to keep your end of the deals you make?”

You feel yourself nod, eyes locked on the blood dripping from your fingertips. Dark hums his approval. “Good. Now, let’s have you sit back down and we’ll talk about how you can make amends. If you’re willing to cooperate this time, we may not even have to make you see that again.”

Even as he says it, you know it’s a lie, because you’re still seeing it. You haven’t stopped seeing it.

The droplets snake down your palms and stain them scarlet. He says something else and you nod, not knowing what you’re agreeing to, but not particularly caring, either. All you care about is the steady drip, drip, drip of your sins falling from your hands.

It will never matter how many times you wash them, how you try to hide them, how clean they will look to everyone else.

To you, they will always have blood on them.

“And there is so, so much blood.”

[doebt]

Hi ok ummm i got the job

[foulserpent]

show us the paper francis

(in reference to the "says he's pro life, dies anyway" meme)

im pretty sure most of my work from college is deleted i can try to dig it up tho lol

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine spending your birthday with Shanks

Author's note: So today is my 27th birthday, and I thought I'd give you all two imagines today.

you: *wakes up to a tray of food being put over your lap by Shanks*

Shanks: *starts to sing* good morning. Goood Morning! Today is your special day!

you: *giggles* Shanks, you spoil me

Shanks: *sits down on the bed next to you and starts to cut your food into bite-sized pieces for you* nonsense, it's your birthday darling and I promise this is just the start.

you: oh really, you have more planned

Shanks: that's correct, we pulled into the harbor about an hour ago. Some of the boys are currently in town putting the finishing touches on our plans.

you: oh so you have plans for me?

Shanks: yes, but they are to remain a surprise. So eat your breakfast first *holds up a fork with a morsel stuck to it*

you: alright, but what after that? * takes the morsel in your mouth*

Shanks: after that, I was thinking sex, a shower, and we get dressed and hit the town.

you: *hums in approval* sounds like a plan

Shanks: indeed

after an afternoon of doing all your favorite things with Shanks, you end up near the woods

You: it's getting dark, we should head back to the ship, I'm hungry.

Shanks: but don't you want to go to your birthday party? *pulls back a curtain of foliage to reveal a pathway lit by candles leading into the woods*

you: you didn't

Shanks: I did, now let's go *leads you to a lovely party at the bottom of a waterfall that glitters in the moonlight and has fire flies buzzing around*

the crew: Happy birthday (y/n)!

you: you guys! *starts to tear up*

Shanks: come on lovely let's get you something to eat *pats youon the back and leads you to the tables full of food*

you: IS THAT A PINATAS?

Shanks: yes, that's for after dinner

at midnight

Shanks: *scoops you up over his shoulder* let's get you to bed darling

you: *waves a bottle of rum at him* I'm fine I can walk

Shanks: why don't you show me? *doesn't put you down*

you: look see I can walk just fine *not actuallly moving*

Shanks: *smirks and walks down the path, back to the ship* did you have a happy birthday, love?

you: yes, the best birthday I ever had

support me on Kofi and Patreon

[blackstar95]

The Brothers reaction when MC slaps their ass

Lucifer

As usual, Lucifer listened to some classical music and poured himself a glass of wine to relax a bit.

Once he was done, he brought the glass to his lips and took a sip, savoring the taste.

"Mhm," he hummed to the sound of the melody and blissfully closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet moment he was having.

Much to his dismay, you entered his office without making yourself noticable.

Now dont get me wrong, he loves enjoys your company.

But not when your main goal is to tease him.

An thats exactly what you were doing.

You grinned mischievously as you slowly crept up to him, his back turned to you.

Since he was in his own state of mind, he didn't noticed anything.

That was until you reached your hand out.

In that milisecond, Lucifer's senses were tingling and his eyes shot open, turning around as fast as lightning.

But it was too late.

He only watched as your right hand colided with his left buttcheek, giving it a good squeeze afterwards.

Lucifer jumped and just stared at you in shock, processing what just happend.

And you just stood there with an empty expression, your eyes starring at your palm.

"Wow, your butt is actuallly softer than I thought".

Lucifer furrowed his brows in anger and shook his head.

"MC".

"Yeah?" You asked, looking up at him innocently.

Lucifer had that closed eyed smile with an dark aura surrounding him.

"Now, what made you think this was an good idea, MC?".

You shrugged and slowly walked backwards, shivering nervously "I dont know.. I was just curious?"

"Curious?" He met up with your steps and tilted his head to the side, his smile never leaving

He became dangerously close, making you more nervous than you already are.

You felt your back hitting the wall and your eyes widened.

Oh lord...

Lucifer slammed his palm beside your head, caging you.

You flinched and looked to the ground, feeling suddenly so tiny under him.

Lucifer cupped your cheek and made you look back up at him, a sadistic smile on his lips.

"Such inappropriate behavior should be punished, MC"

I leave the rest up to your imagination.

Mammon

Mammon was walking beside you as always, being practically attached to your hip (nothing new).

You guys were at R.A.D on your way to the cafeteria, since it was break time.

The greedy demon beside you rambled about that new scheme to make money, and you once again had to talk him out of it.

"Ya! It aint a dumb idea!" He protested.

"It is Mammon. Just think about Lucifers reaction and the consequences," you shook your head "Want to hang from the ceiling that bad?".

Mammon only scuffed, turning his head to the side.

You glanced over to him and noticed a visible pout on his lips, making him look like a child.

"Hey, Mammon".

"Hm?" He looked over at you "What's up?".

You raised your hand and reached over for his bottom, smiling sweetly at him.

"Cheer up".

He was about to question you, but before he could even start his sentence, you cutted him off with a real loud smack on his ass.

Mammons stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes widened in shock "W-what?".

Once realisation kicked in, his face flushed in an intsant.

"O-oi, human! Whats the big deal slappin' my butt like that?!". He yelled at you, looking like a fricking tomato.

You couldnt help but let out a few chuckles, highly amused by his reaction.

"Ya! It aint funny!"

Thanks to his loud voice, the whole hallway now knew what just had happened.

Leviathan

Leviathan walked down the stairs to the dining room.

He was really excited because he finally got his hands on the new Ruri-chan merchandise that came out.

"Woaah! I cant believe I got that limited edition figurine!, its SO rare and the new outfit- its just soo angelic-"

Levi being caught in his own ramblings didnt noticed that you were walking beside him.

"And that new hairstyle! I cant believe Ruri-chan could get even more cuter than she already is-"

"Say Levi, to who'm are you talking to?"

"WAh!", Levi jumped slightly at the sound of your voice and almost tripped over his own foot.

"Wha- MC!? How long have you been here!?"

You smiled at him and grabbed his shoulder for support, preventing him from falling down the stairs.

"There there, calm down. I didnt heard much".

Levi let out an sigh of relief and turned to you.

"Yeah right, I mean who would want to listen to an yucky otaku like me?".

You facepalmed in your mind and sighed, he really needs more confidence.

Leviathan kept walking and pitying himself, mumbling random stuff.

He has such a negative mindset.

You walked up behind him not thinking much.

But then you stared at his head and then his back,

Eventually your eyes landed on his bottom.

You smirked to yourself as you just ran past him, giving his butt a hard and loud smack.

Levi yelped in surprise and stood still, overwhelmed with what just had happened.

His hand grabbed his right buttcheek and rubbed it, being too shocked to react.

You turned around and waved at him. "Damn Levi, you really got an nice butt there! Im soo jealous!"

You then disapperaed in the dining room.

Levis brain needed a whole minute to process what just had happened.

And then he became a stuttering mess.

"M-M-MC! W-what was that now?!, h-hey wait!" He hid his flushed face behind the back of his hand as he stumbled after you.

Ngl he was kinda happy you touched him.

Satan

Satan was on kitchen duty, cooking his curry.

He invited you to join and help, so you guys could spend some time together.

And theres no way you would ignore that chance.

So here you were beside him, giving him the ingredients he asks for and making some small talk.

"Did you know that Beel almost ate my hair in his sleep?" You sighed "Im lucky im not bald".

Satan glimpsed at you and raised his eyebrow, shaking his head, "His hunger really doesnt know its limits".

He looked up, "Well speaking of sleep, I had an unpleasant dream last night."

You handed him the spoon and nodded "What was it about?"

Satan sighed, "Beel ate too much and grew to be a giant. He then ate the House of Lamentation, leaving the rest of us homeless".

You laughed, "Why do I have a feeling that could actually happen?"

Satan frowned "He already eats plates, its only a matter of time until he starts eating the walls".

You chuckled, intending to jokingly slap his arm.

But since you werent focused on what you were doing, you didnt notice how your slap landed right on his butt.

Satan dropped the spoon he was holding and looked at you with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?"

You turned to him with an confused expression "Did I do something wrong?"

Satan cocked an eyebrow and leaned his head to the side "You just slapped my butt".

Now its your turn to look at him with wide eyes. "I did what now?".

Satan didnt knew if you were joking or not, and it was kinda ticking him off.

"My butt. You slapped it".

"No I only slapped your arm- ohh wait..." you chuckled.

"What is so funny?" He asked you with furrowed brows.

"Sorry Satan, I wasnt focusing on what I was doing and accidently slapped your butt instead of your arm," You shrugged "My bad".

Satan nodded and turned back to what he was doing "Next time be more careful, or I will return the gesture".

You smirked and leaned over to him "I wouldnt mind that".

He will remember that.

Asmodeus

Asmo was having a mid-life crisis.

He was on one of his diets, because his waist gained 1 millicentimeter.

You assured him that a little more weight always looks good and healthy but he wont listen.

So here you were infront of him, eating one of his favorite Cupcakes.

"MC darling, why do you have to torture me like that?"

He whined "Its not faair!"

You just shrugged "I have another cupcake left for you, but since you're on your little 'diet' I will give it to Beel."

He sighed and dropped his head on the table "Does my pain bring you pleasure?".

You frowned "I-"

Asmo gasps and sat back up straight. "Dont tell me your into that stuff?, Wow!"

He smiled and wiggled in his chair.

You sighed and shook you head "Asmodeus, stop".

He pouted "You're no fun..".

After some time you finally finished the cupcake and Asmodeus had reached his limit.

He watched as you stood up and walk towards to the kitchen.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He also stood up and followed you.

"I will bring the cupcake to Beel-"

"No, wait!" he grabbed your wrist and stared at you.

You looked back at him "What is it, Asmodeus?".

He glimpsed to the side "I dont want him to eat my cupcake.."

You clicked your tounge and pulled him towards you, making him stumble to the side

"What are you doi- AH!" He moaned yelped in surprise as you slapped his ass.

"Just eat that damn Cupcake. Its not like you will gain 10kg from it".

He blushed "Oooooh MC! That really made me excited! How harsh you pulled my wrist-"

You just let go of him and left the room.

"MC where are you going?, you cant just leave me here!"

Beelzebub

Beelzebub asked you to keep him company while working out.

And of course you said yes.

So now you sat there, on the bench with a towel in hand, enjoying the view infront of you.

Beelzebubs biceps flexed as he lifted weights, and his white tanktop was drenched in sweat, making it transparent.

His abs showed through the fabric and you blushed.

How can this man be so big and muscular?

You blinked when he stopped his workout and laid the weights back down.

He grabbed his bottle from the floor and drank from it, taking big gulps.

You decided to stand up and walked over to him.

"Hey, Beel"

Beel lowered the bottle from his mouth and smiled at you "Hey, MC!"

You smiled back, and held the towel in your hand out to him, "Here take this".

"Thanks" He nodded at you and grabbed it, wiping the sweat on his face away.

"So, how is the workout going so far?" You asked couriously.

"Im still warming up" he replied.

You blinked, Still at warming up, huh?.. impressive.

"But im starting to feel hungry..." Beel pouted.

You laughed "You can do it Beelzebub, I believe in you".

He blushed and smiled at you "Thanks, MC!"

So cute.

You nodded and patted his shoulder "Sure".

Beel proceeded to start his warm up again, starting with some sit-ups.

But you had other plans.

"Beel wait!" You ran up to him.

He stopped what he was doing and looked over at you "What is it, MC?"

Before he could fully turn his body to you, he felt a stinging sensitation on his butt.

He looked at you startled, now realising you slapped it.

"Wow Beel, your buttcheeks are pretty hard.. are they made of iron or something?" You hold your hand up to your face.

Beel blushed slightly, not knowing what to do or say.

You just shrugged and turned around, marching towards the bench you were sitting on.

But suddenly, you felt a light clap on your own butt.

You gasped, "What-, Beel?!" You looked behind you and saw him standing there, smiling.

"Your butt feels really soft and nice, MC". he chuckled, "Is that a human thing to do?"

"Beel no-"

Belphegor

Belphegor was taking a nap in the attic, skipping the student council meeting.

And since you were coming late to the meeting due to some complications, Lucifer ordered you to search for Belphie and bring him there along with you.

And thats how you ended up infront of the attic, clearly annoyed.

"Belphegor," you spoke as you opened the door "I know you're in here".

The youngest brother laid on the bed, snoring and cuddling into his cow pillow.

You walked over to him and shook him "Hey Belphegor! Wake up!"

He stirred in his sleep and furrowed his brows.

Eventually he opened one eye and glimpsed at you. "What is it?"

"Lucifer wants me to bring you to the council meeting" you explained.

"Too bad, I wont go" he closed his eyes again. "Why dont you join me?"

"No," you shook your head, "Please, stand up".

He groaned "No, I dont want to go".

Thats it

You grabbed Belphegor by his arms, and turned him on his stomach.

His eyes shot open "Dah! W-what, hey-"

You raised your hand and slapped his ass, the sound of it echoing through the room.

Belphegor jumped and sat up straight, looking at you in disbelief.

"What was that for?!" He blushed

"You should stand up," you crossed your arm over your chest "I asked you nicely but you wont listen".

"Alright..," He closed his eyes "I will go"

You nodded "good"

But before you could turn around, Belphegor grabbed your wrist and laid you over his lap, his hand resting on your butt.

You blushed when you realised what he was doing,

You tried to escape, but his grip on you was too tight.

"Heheh," he chuckled "Time for payback".

"B-belphegor-" you were interrupted by his hand squeezing your left cheek slightly, making you shiver.

Belphegor raised his hand and striked an direct slap on your butt.

He expected you to squeak cutely, but instead a loud moan left your lips.

You quickly sat up and covered your mouth, an massive blush on your face.

Belphegor stared at you with wide eyes,

But after a few seconds he smirked.

"Didnt knew you're into that stuff," he teased you "Im not complaining though".

You just hid your face in his shoulder, too embarassed to look up "Dont tell anyone about this..".

Belphegor chuckled and patted your head "I wont, that would ruin the fun".

He will still tease you about it tho, but just when you guys are alone.

[fluteds]

hunger series by maledict

rating: M // 2 stories

BTS, but in the Hunger Games.

[dinosaurtsukki]

salty french fries | a tsukishima x f!reader fic

pairing: diner employee!tsukishima x f!reader

word count: 2.2k words

contains: fluff, the slightest of angsts, late-night diner talks, insomniac!reader, puzzles, tsukishima being a softie, salty french fries in case you couldn’t tell

summary: tsukishima works the graveyard shift at a diner near his campus to help pay the bills and ends up noticing you, a regular customer who comes in every night to order the same french fries because you can’t sleep 

a/n: i can’t believe it took me this long to write a full-length one-shot for tsukki as a self-proclaimed tsukki fangirl. this is inspired by me having trouble sleeping and wishing i had tsukki to eat fries at a diner with

knowing that he was attending university on scholarship, tsukishima fully expected having to work in some shitty, part-time job to help pay the bills and earn some money for allowance. he just didn’t quite expect that he’d be working the graveyard shift at a diner just a few blocks away from campus. 

tsukishima didn’t want to take on a job that was too much of a hassle and by hassle, he meant having to interact with customers. so, even though his sleep schedule was kind of fucked with him sleeping at four in the afternoon to go to work at midnight before heading straight to class, tsukishima was still okay with his job. he didn’t really care about the whole ‘night time is sleep time’ idea and the lack of customers during the graveyard shift gave him more than enough time to work on assignments.

during his shift, he’d deal with the usual late-night customers: fellow students who stayed up too late partying or purposely stayed up late to pull all-nighters, truck drivers and fellow late-shift employees hoping to grab a bite before going to work or going home, and the less favorable drunk men who passed out cold on the tables only for tsukishima to have to wake up in the morning. 

with the few customers that tsukishima had to encounter, of course he’d notice someone who regularly came during his shift. and that someone was you.

tsukishima first noticed you a few months into his work at the diner. in fact, you were his only customer on the first night when you came in and you stayed for three hours, eating just a plate of french fries, before leaving at five in the morning. the next night, you did the same thing, and the next, and the next. the thing tsukishima noticed about late-night customers was that there was always a noticeable purpose to their visit: a way to socialize, a place to hang out in the unholy hours of the night, even just getting a bite to eat. however, tsukishima couldn’t for the life of him figure out what your purpose was.

from behind the counter, he couldn’t help but watch as you’d absentmindedly pour ketchup on the side of your plate, dip your fries in one by one, and chew slowly while staring at the wall. it was as if you were just there to pass the time.

...

your visits ended up being frequent enough to finally pique tsukishima’s curiosity and cause him to actually initiate conversation.

“the usual, right?” he asked, taking your order as you sat at the counter.

“you got it,” you smiled up at him. tsukishima noticed that you always wore the same ratty, dark green coat over what appeared to be your pajamas. 

“you must love these fries,” tsukishima said sarcastically, arising a chuckle from you. 

“would you feel bad if i said i think they’re not exactly great?” you cocked your head at him. 

“as long as you don’t tell my manager who never comes in at this time,” tsukishima smirked, handing you your change.

“your secret is safe with me,” you mimed zipping your lips shut and throwing away the key. that one managed to get a laugh out of tsukishima as he strolled over to the kitchen to make your fries. 

“one order of shitty french fries,” he said, coming back a few minutes later. “and ketchup, of course.”

“hey, i didn’t say they were shitty,” you picked up a fry and wagged it at him. “just, kind of soggy and salty and... actuallly yeah, it is kind of shitty,” you giggled, dipping the fry and eating it.

“i can’t believe you thought soggy and salty would be euphemisms,” tsukishima shook his head.

“well, sorry for my brain not being in peak condition at three a.m. enough to read...” you paused and leaned over the counter to look at the book that tsukishima had been reading for class. “...Plato’s ‘The Republic.’”

“i actually don’t read anything, i just highlight stuff to feel good about myself,” tsukishima shrugged.

“that’s a mood right there,” you smirked at him. “so, you must be wondering why i come here all the time.”

“mmm, mostly i was wondering about the fries part but that’s a close second.”

you rolled your eyes at him. “well if you must know, i come here because i can’t sleep.” 

tsukishima blinked and realized, for the first time, how dark your under-eyes were, how weak and almost raspy your voice sounded, and how you always seemed to be vacantly staring at the same wall whenever you came in.

“actually, i do sleep but at most it’s just two hours before i wake up again and decide to come here,” you added. “sometimes i take a twenty-minute nap before studying, but that’s about it.”

“sounds... rough,” tsukishima said, very much aware that there were a million other better things to say. instead, you just smiled and nodded at that.

“pretty much.” 

“well, you’re lucky. the other diner serves shittier fries.” 

tsukishima couldn’t help but smile at the look of incredulity on your face before bursting out laughing. for some reason, it felt like an accomplishment. he couldn’t help but feel as if he should help you with your insomnia but the thought of ‘what can you actually do about it?’ overcame him first.

but ever since then, tsukishima did make an effort to make his fries less shitty.

...

it was safe to say that tsukishima did end up enjoying your company. at first, he was worried that it would be a distraction from his work but you always managed to give pretty good insights on any texts he was reading or papers he had to write. you had a sharp tongue and always managed to keep up with tsukishima’s jokes or have him keep up with you. 

but he noticed you kept coming earlier and earlier, sometimes even before tsukishima’s shift began, and he could tell you were sleeping even less. the voice in his head saying that it wasn’t any of his business steadily grew quieter with that progression.

“wanna try this out?” tsukishima asked, one night. you snapped out of your usual staring-blankly-at-the-wall activity and looked down to find tsukishima pushing what appeared to be a puzzle set towards you.

aside from greasy food, the diner tsukishima worked at had shelves full of board games and puzzle sets. ‘to entertain the student crowd,’ his manager reasoned. tsukishima didn’t know if the day customers actually used them but he’d always been curious about playing with some of the games.

“‘Vincent Van Gogh ‘Cafe Terrace at Night’ puzzle set, one-thousand pieces,” you read. “it’s, a thousand pieces.”

“we could use a puzzle board for it to save progress,” tsukishima shrugged. “only if you want to,” he added, starting to feel nervous that you’d be put off by his suggestion. ‘i could have chosen a one-hundred piece puzzle instead this was dumb of me,’ he couldn’t help but think. instead, you laughed and nodded your head.

“where’s that puzzle board?”

...

“oh my god, why the fuck did you make me agree to this? they’re all the same shades of blue!!” you exclaimed, holding up two puzzle pieces that had the same color but frustratingly didn’t join together.

“i thought it was a good idea at first,” tsukishima muttered, squinting at the mess of puzzle pieces before him. he was trying to put together the cafe part of the puzzle. “wait! i got it!” he suddenly exclaimed, picking a puzzle piece and joining it together with a small clump he had already formed.

“now, i have five pieces together,” he gloated, showing you the part.

“great. now we have nine-thousand, nine-hundred, and ninety-five pieces to go,” you laughed tiredly. the two of you were occupying one of the tables closest to the counter which was now covered with the puzzle board and puzzle pieces. 

when you first decided to visit the nearby diner after another sleepless night, you didn’t expect to befriend the tall, blonde boy who ran the graveyard shift and cooked shitty, but now slightly better, french fries. you didn’t really expect that tsukishima kei also liked to make himself milkshakes with strawberry ice cream or that he got unusually invested in puzzles, or that he looked cute whenever he was excited at joining pieces together.

“ah! i did it! i got a match!” you suddenly exclaimed, grinning and showing tsukishima the two identically colored pieces you managed to join together.

“finally, you managed to get one,” he smirked at you. 

“mean! do you know how hard it is to sift through all of this?” you gestured at the huge sea of blue in front of you. 

tsukishima cocked his head. “are you sure those actually fit right?”

“what do you mean? i just fit it together?”

“nah, i think it doesn’t work. give it here,” he grinned, snatching it out of your hand.

“give it back!” you pouted. “tsukishima!”

...

“tsukishima, it’s been half a month and we’re exactly halfway,” you deadpanned, looking at the puzzle before you that already had clumps of van gogh’s iconic painting formed. 

“i don’t know if i should be happy about this or just depressed,” tsukishima sighed.

“celebratory french fry?” you suggested, picking a fry off the plate.

“celebratory french fry,” tsukishima chuckled, mimicking your action. the two of your crossed your french fries together before eating them. 

“i don’t know if you know this, but this is my favorite part of my day,” you smiled.

“working on a thousand-piece puzzle with a diner employee?” tsukishima snorted. 

“yeah, sad right?” you laughed. “sometimes i just get excited about going to sleep just so that i could wake up and come here.”

“funny enough you have been coming later,” tsukishima pointed out. not that he really thought it was a bad thing because it meant you’ve been sleeping just a bit more. 

“thanks to the puzzle, i’ve actually been able to sleep once i get home,” you added, somewhat excitedly. “and, i don’t know, that makes facing the day less worse.”

“is that why you can’t sleep?” tsukishima asked. 

“pretty much,” you shrugged, taking another fry from the plate. “somehow, being in my own bed in my room gets claustrophobic and i just can’t help but worry about things i should be doing or haven’t done. you know, usual twenty-something problems.”

“well, there is something to look forward to after all that,” tsukishima crossed his arms. you glanced up at him. “climate change.”

you threw a fry at him. “i hate you.”

“it’s the truth!” tsukishima protested. “also, is that any way to talk to someone who’s been trying to help you out?”

“awww, you’ve been trying to help me out all this time?” you gushed, despite the flutter in your chest at having your suspicions finally confirmed.

“i-i mean,” tsukishima stammered, trying to save himself from his slip-up. “well, you just looked so pitiful coming in every night and just eating shitty fries and staring at the wall.”

“that’s true,” you laughed. “but, thanks, i guess. for helping me out in your own salty way.”

“you’re welcome.”

your smile at tsukishima’s response turned into a yawn. “is me boring you to death adding to you feeling sleepy because i guess i’m doing a pretty good job,” he said.

“haha, very funny tsukishima,” you yawned again. “well, let’s hope i’m still sleepy when i get home.” 

“if you want,” tsukishima rubbed the back of his head. “the staff room is actually pretty okay-looking. there’s a couch and everything so...”

“are you inviting me to sleep in the staff room?” 

“well, if you make it sound that way--”

you interrupted him by standing up. “that better be a comfortable couch then.”

...

tsukishima really didn’t want to be like edward ‘sparkle vampire’ cullen and be a creep who watches you sleep but he just couldn’t help it. at first, he thought it would take you quite a while to even close your eyes but you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the couch. the way you were curled up on one side using your hands as a cushion reminded tsukishima of a sleeping cat and he had subconsciously stopped breathing in fear that he would wake you up.

when he first signed up for a job manning the graveyard shift at a diner, tsukishima never expected he would meet a girl who came in every night because she couldn’t sleep and eat fries at two in the morning. neither did he expect he would fall in love with her. 

carefully, tsukishima set down your puzzle board on the coffee table, wincing slightly when he made a noise but you were still deep asleep. he looked down at the partially finished puzzle before methodically picking up pieces and joining them effortlessly together. after all, it was his own puzzle set. 

tsukishima finished just in time for the employee in charge of the next shift to come in for the morning rush. usually, he’d just be in a hurry to leave to try snatch a few hours of sleep for his class. but right now, it was a trivial thing compared to the fact that you were peacefully asleep. 

half an hour later, tsukishima would gently shake you awake because another employee was coming in. you would see the finished puzzle on the table and ironically piece everything together. like tsukishima, the thought of leaving the diner wouldn’t even cross your mind. 

even though eating fries at three a.m. with you wasn’t like anything tsukishima would ever experience, he wanted nothing more than to have breakfast with you. 

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh@charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @tpwkatsumu  @waitforitillwritemywayout 

[darrowsrising]

Hi!

May I know why you didn’t like Iron Gold, as you mentioned in the previous ask, if you feel comfortable sharing!

Hi! Sure! Unorganized rant ahead:

Back when I read, it arrived way past publishing date by more than a month, most spoilers were some rants about how Darrow is terrible and my lofe at the time was fucking emotionally exhausting. All those ingredients made my experience going into that book very sour. Fyi, I LOVE spoilers, adore them to bits. I read spoilers on DA too.

When I did read it, I felt like I jumped into a parallel universe of sorts, because while Darrow usually makes me wants rip my hair out when he is particulary stubborn, nothing he did was actuallly worse than what every character around him did. By a long shot. I simply did not understand how people could go so anti-Darrow, the fandom I mean

I have Darrow who is traumatized, shunned, abandoned and depressed and nothing can knock him out of it. On top of all of that, he's trying his best to end the war, because of his huge guilt complex that I never hated as much as right then. Virginia tried to arrest Darrow, when he'd rather kill himself than get captured again due to trauma from Attica, Sevro is being a bitch and Victra can't stay 10 minutes to discuss issues. Everyone is playing into the enemy's hand - they are all divided. If these things were the only ones, I could have lived with that, no problem. It's part of the plot and as heart-breaking and frustrating as it is, I get why.

However, to have 3 other povs that are very hard to get through, because of their various degrees of hypocrisy and the fandom eating up all the unrelieable narrator bullshit they spew, is beyond my abilities.

To this day, I have to explain to people that Sevro misfired and pushed Darrow's razor arm into Wulfgar, killing him. It's not something I made up, it's canon. Darrow gets the blame for all this bullshit, both in text and in real life. Darrow gives Sevro all the excuses to go back to Luna, makes himself a monster, so he would go with no guilt behind. The fandom bites into it, because it's Sevro, gods forbid Darrow ever fucking lying.

If Victra reacts with torture to someone KIDDNAPING HER CHILD, it's OCC and Virginia must have been given Victra's trait, because Victra refused to torture an enemy soldier THAT DID NOTHING TO HER, back in the day.

The fandom aside, though, which was the hardest part for me, was having to go through the worse and worse and worse sort of plot. As in 'things get worse progressively, if you thought they couldn't get worse, buckle up'.

Dark Age has a similar tune, yet it works better than Iron Gold, because the light-hearted moments, the over all pacing, the way the intense moments between povs was handled, were all better. Iron Gold does a good job of frustrating the reader. I suppose that was the intention, but it gets old fast for me. Stress me out too much, I start hating it or uncaring about it. At some point, I read Cassius' duel and I was too numb to be angry at the unfairness of it.

Darrow burning the Ash Lord was a bit of respite, it soon turned sour when people were calling that 'the proof that Darrow is the villain now', because Magnus was right about him and he burnt him because of it.

Basically it made it hard for me to care anymore. I was left with many frustrations and questions and by the end there was nothing enjoyable worth remembering, except those two chapters Darrow had at the start.

I don't like it when I am frustrated by the writing with no closure, that is a 'me' issue. Over all it's not a bad book, I said it's a 4 star read, but...damn, my experience really sucked.

Dark Age is way worse as far as violence goes, but its so much better, the pacing is smoother, the intense moments don't make you want to skip to the good part, the writing is that good. Also, I got closure on IG, so bloodydamn fuck you to Darrow antis.

[thealmightyemprex]

1960′s Bond films ranked

,1960′s was the era of Bond mania ,and it was the decade with the most movies ,with 7 movies(Second to it is the 80′s with 6 movies ,then the 70′s with 5 ,90′s and 2000′s both only had 3 each ,and 2010′s only had 2 ) ,and since the 60′s is the most classic era of Bond ,I decided  to rank the 60′s Bond films 

7.Casino Royale(1967)

Yup I am counting the unofficial movies too  and this is the only film on the list I would say is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.This is  a crappy movie,pure insanity  with no clear vision and it commits the biggest sin of a comedy :ITS NOT FUNNY .....Woody Allan as a Bond Villain is a funny joke though 

6.Thunderball(1965)

Only Bond film in which I have read the book.It’s an OK book ,love some of the characters  but it was just fine  .....But I like it better then the movie  .This is a boring movie  to me ,Largo is only remembered fondly cause he has an eyepatch as he is a lame villain  ,Domino is a lot less interesting then her book counterpart ,there is a cringeworthy scene with Bond blackmailing a physiotherapist into sleeping with him ,there is a random character who is important to the plot but the film doesnt treat him this way ,the Q scene feels less playful and more meanspirited  and underwater battles sound cool in theory ,but are dull in practice .That said I do like aspects ,Connery  is good ,I like the SPECTRE scene (Love Shadowy Blofeld ) ,the pre title action scene is great (Complete with ACTUAL WORKING REAL JETPACK ),The theme song performed by Tom Jones is AMAZING ,and  I do love the films main henchwoman Fiona Volpe ,she is such an awesome baddie I wish she was the MAIN villain  .I know it’s considered a classic but I just cant get into it 

5.You Only Live Twice (1967)

THis one I am .....Mixed about . I think it’s directed well ,there are some cool camera movements,the Little Nellie gyrocoptor is awesome  ,the fight scene against the driver (Played by Peter Maiva ,the grandfather of Dwayne “The Rock “ Johnson ,which is awesome )  is pretty badass , The Volcano Lair is SPECTACULAR (PRobabbly the best villain lair in the series ) ,Tiger Tanaka is a likable ally ,Aki is a great Bond Girl,Nancy Sinatras theme song is good ,it’s cool seeing a snapshot of 1960′s Japan ,the final battle is epic ,and Donald Pleasence is FANTASTIC as Blofeld ,bringing such a creepiness to a character who has been built up for 5 movies .....But  what holds it back for me is Connery looks so damn bored throughout the entire movie ,the plot I dont really care about ,Helga is just a rehash of Fiona and not even in a interesting  way ,KArl is such a boring henchman ,Aki is killed off just to be replaced by Kissy who is less interesting and I dont know why they didnt just have one Bond girl ,DOnald Pleasence is barely  in the movie ,and then you have Bond going undercover as a Japanese man......Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah.This is just such a mixed bag of a movie for me 

4.Dr No (1962)

Now lets get to the good ones.This is a lowkey Bond adventure(As they couldnt afford to do one of the bigger stories ) ,and I imagine that can be jarring for someused to the high octane globe trotting adventures of the other films,and I have seen some calll it Vanilla  .....And I kind of like the simpler vibe of this film .Connery comes out the gate swinging ,he is suave and with moments of  brutality.Both the Bond girl and villain arent in the film long but Ursula Andress is memorable as Honey Ryder  and Joseph Wiseman as Dr No while only getting really one scene to show off has a cold  detached delivery to his lines that makes him extremely eerie (Would’ve preferred a Chinese actor  and am distressed none were even considered but thats the 60′s for you ) .Anthony Dawson  makes for a good secondary villain as Professor Dent  ,Jack Lord is a cool Felix Leiter ,John Kitzmiller is great as Bonds ally Quarrel ,the film sets up Bonds dynamics with both Bernard Lee’s M and Lois Maxwell’s Miss Moneypenny ,both making strong first impressions ,the film is brutal with it’s action ,and overalll it’s a good introduction to the world of Bond  

3.Goldfinger(1964)

The iconic Bond film .This film is fun ,plain and simple. It has flaws (Mainly there being a whole section of the plot involving gangsters that makes absolutely no sense and how Pussy Galore turns good is REALLLY cringeworthy) but I feel like the rest of the film is awesome  .The villain Auric Goldfinger is one of the best  (Easilly my second favorite in the series )ruthless and greedy but with an odd sense of charm ,I just love watching him .The films main henchman Oddjob   is also awesome  ,a super strong  silent loyal thug  who kills people with a toss of his killer bowler hat .Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore  is fantastic ,easily one of the best Bond girls,and while I dont like how her arc is handled,I do like that she starts off as a baddie .The film is full of classic moments from Goldfinger and Bonds golf game ,the laser scene (And the classic exchange “You expect me to talk”*Chuckles*”No mr Bond ,I expect you to DIE!!”),the fight between Bond and Oddjob in Fort Knox (Which is a gorgeous set by Ken Adam ) and of course the iconic image of the dead woman painted gold .I also have just a personal fondness for this film as when I was a kid we had a whole bunch of Bond films on VHS (From Dr No to Live and Let Die ) and this was the one I watched the most 

2.From Russia With Love (1963)

I flip flop on whether I like Goldfinger or From Russia With Love more ,and I think I prefer From Russia With Love ,for one simple reason :Goldfinger is a fun action romp .....From Russia With Love is a genuinely intriguing spy movie .It’s also cool cause it is a direct sequel to Dr No which is an anomaly in the classic Bond films. There isnt one villain in this film ,it’s an organization ,SPECTRE ,meaning we get a whole ensamble of villains (Including creepy evil genius Kronsteen and SPECTRES head thug Morzeny),but the stand outs are Red Grant  played by Robert Shaw of Jaws fame, a sadistic assassin who is sort of Bonds dark mirror  and Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb ,a former SMERSH agent now working for SPECTRE ,who is commanding in every scene .....EXCEPT fore when she is around the films true villain Blofeld,in those scenes  she is TERRIFIED ,and thats a detail I love cause it adds to Blofeld mystique,that if he can scare KLEBB he is a force to be reckoned with  .I also love that we dont actuallly SEE Blofeld beyond his hands stroking his cat  ,and yet personality wise we get everything we need to know (That and his deep commanding voice which I LOVE ) .We also get Kerim Bey who is hands down the BEST Bond sidekick ,he is so lovable and charming,it’s hard not to like him.Connery is excellent  as usual ,all the action is awesome including Bond evading a helicopter ,a climatic boat chase,an encounter with a deadly piece of footwear,and a absolutely brutal fight between Grant and Bond on the Orient Express .If I have one  complaint I am not that fond of how the Bond Girl Tatiana  is written but  Daniela Bianchi does a good job .Overall this is a great movie  

1.On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

This is my favorite Bond movie .It is at it’s core a love story and a damn good one .Diana Rigg steals this entire movie as Tracy  ,she is the best Bond girl .Telly Savals is charming ,intelligent ,but also tough as hell as Blofeld ,he is my third favorite Bond villain  and hands down my favorite Blofeld .I think the film contains one of the best evil plans (And surprisingly relevent over 50 years later ),Irma Bunt is a terrific henchwoman ,Gabriele Ferzetti is  entertaining as Tracy’s criminal father Draco ,Louis Armstrongs We Have All The Time In The World is a terrific love song  ,I love the setting of the Swiss Alps ,the film somehow makes a BOBSLED chase badass ,and the ending  is unforgettable .Now the one common complaint people have is George Lazenby ,and while I agree he isnt great ......He is a good Bond ,and he hits the dramtic  notes when he needs to .I adore this movie and reccomend it to non Bond fans  even

[thewinterwaifu]

Perfect teatime

Pairing:Post timeskip Edelgard x  reader

Gender of reader:female

Word count:1005

Genre:fluff

Warnings:slight angst,war and death mention (It’s 3H so yeah)

Plot summary:Y/n had always been by Edelgard’s side, and now that the war is over, the empress decides it’s time to confess her feelings

A/N:Because Byleth sided with her, Edelgard is well, written as ‘being in the right’ here. It’s for narrative purposes!Nothing against people who don’t agree with Edelgard!I actuallly have a Bernadetta fic where she is written as ‘being in the wrong’. Anyway I wrote this for a friend but I hope you like it too

It had been a few months now. Fodlan was now officially united under the rule of empress Edelgard. A fair Fodlan where crests didn’t matter and the church had no influence. This is what she had always wanted, the world she wished she had been born and had taken upon herself to shape. Yet, Edelgard felt like something was lacking, like she was missing something. Every time she saw Y/N, she felt a pang in her chest, yearning for her love and touch. Yet, being an empress was such an important and time consuming duty, they barely got any time together. Edelgard thought about her all day, but some of those thoughts weren’t exactly pleasant.

Surely, she would be happier with someone else, with someone who could dedicate her hours and hours of time, shower her with love every minute of the day. Was it selfish to cling onto these feelings?To want to be with her despite it all?Maybe they should talk about this...over some tea. Yes, that was a great idea on her mind. And it was, being honest, except well, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She could make small talk and have conversations about anything else with Aster just fine, but when she wanted to confess her feelings, she just couldn’t.

By now, they were almost all out of tea and cookies and she still hadn’t said a word about it. How? She had the courage to start a revolution and charge into battle, not fearing death. Why couldn’t she just confess her feelings to her crush? ‘God damn it Edelgard, just get it together!’ she told herself.

Y/N had similar thoughts herself. Ever since they met, she had been head over heels for the white haired girl. They had been through hell and back, she had stayed at her side even when half of the continent  and the church was  against her. She admired her noble spirit and her desire to do good. Now, she was on top of the world. She felt bad for how busy she was though.

“I’ve missed these tea parties…”  Edelgard said with a pleased sigh before she took another sip from her cup. “I missed you in general my friend” she said with a smile. ‘Friend’. That word hurt to say...but it was the cruel, harsh truth wasn’t it?

“Me too!” Y/N agreed “Brings back the memories of our life as students  in the monastery…” those were some easier times...When they just had to worry about not falling behind on any classes. Even all those classes about magic and all kinds of weapons couldn’t have prepared them for the horrors of war. No need to think about that now though, right? It was over, all over...some of those who slither in the dark still lurked in the shadows, but they would smite them as they came.

“The monastery...right” Edelgard gave her a bittersweet smile. She wished she didn’t need to slay so many of the people she once called students and teachers. And well, there was where she find out she wasn’t just interested in men. 

As soon as she met Y/N, she knew they had something special. She found herself yearning for her touch and wanting to spend more time with her, to really get to know her. She had also been terrified that she would see her as a monster when she revealed her ideals and her plan to start a revolution. When she stayed by her side, she knew nothing else would matter. She didn’t care if the kingdom, church and alliance were all against her. As long as she had her by her side, she would be alright.

“Ah!Remember when Manuela screamed at Lindhart for falling asleep in the lecture but her yelling wouldn’t wake him up?” she chuckled at just the memory. What she would give to go back in time and just relive a day in the monastery again.

“And the battle of the eagle and lion!The professor really helped us win that one!How happy we were and how much we celebrated...We really thought real combat was as simple as that huh” Y/N replied. “And the dancing competition!We won that one too!”

“Yes, yes! But I’d say I have an ever better memory that I still dream about to this day”  she said. This was it. She was going to take her chance now. She couldn’t stall this any longer.

“And what might that be?” the other woman said with curiosity, raising her eyebrow.

“Well. I still remember when one year, a new student walked in. I thought she was very interesting but it wasn’t just that. There was...something more. I...had a crush. She made me realize that I liked women. We got closer with each passing day and my crush on her would get bigger and bigger. When my plan started...I was so afraid of losing her, that she would call me a monster. Yet, she stayed by my side. Then, I was terrified for another reason. What if she fell in battle?I wouldn’t be able to live with that guilt. But...here she is...in front of me. And I can say with complete confidence, that I’m very much in love” she concluded

Y/N’s cheeks blushed bright red. Was she dreaming? She had been wanting to hear those words for oh too long.

“I...I feel the same way about you Edelgard” she confessed, reaching out for her hand, which El happily gave, squeezing hers.

“Ah, that makes me so happy!I...must say I thought my feelings would be unrequited. This feeling...it’s...overwhelming. Once those who slither in the dark are completely defeated...I’ll find someone worthy, who can take the reins of the empire for me. Then, we’ll be able to spend the rest of our lifetime together...You and I will become the light that shines over Fodlan, just as you have shined upon my life”

[ml-salt-central]

"Chat Blanc" Salt:

Ugh, I just woke up, it's too early for this shit...wait, no it's never too early for this shit. The episode is only in french and without subtitles but I can still understand what's going on and even some of the words (thank you Spanish for being my first languange). Let's just get this over with:

MORE romantic bullshit that I still can't be bothered to care about

Adrien's got a medal for...something? I don't know and I don't care

Mari honey no, you can't just break into your crush's house and smell his pillow. ML writers "stop making Marinette creepy" challenge

I love Alix but I hate the rabbit miraculous so...I have a love-hate relationship with Bunnyx's existence

Okay Bunnyx, so you're just gonna send Ladybug to fight what it's supposedly the most powerful akuma without telling her what their powers are or where their akuma is? I mean you can time travel so it wouldn't been hard for you to just get this information before sending Ladybug into battle

I hate to say it but Chat Blanc is actuallly kind of cool

Time Travel has consequences and is treated like a very complex concept despite this not being the case in "Time Tagger"

So the only way that Adrien could see Marinette as a potential romantic interest is if he knows that she's Ladybug? Not because of anything that has something to with her as a person?...Yeah, that's gonna be a yikes from me, Dawg

Can Gabriel just...go eat shit and die? Please?

So Chat Noir can just use his cataclysm to destroy an akuma and doing so has no consequences whatsoever, why didn't he do this before? Who knows?

So Gabriel finds out that his son is Chat Noir and the proceeds to care about it despite him saying his afraid to lose him that one time...who am I kidding? Of course he fucking does this shit. MAN! This show is garbage

Ladybug, Hawkmoth and everyone in Paris are just STRAIGHT UP DEAD in Chat Blanc's future and...HOLY SHIT! THAT'S DARK! (I'm not salty about tho)

They found Hawkmoth's lair, they're actually competent for once and then the angst fest begins which I can't really be THAT mad about because it actually makes sense for Adrien to be angsty in this situation

Also, HOW THE FUCK DID HAWKMOTH SEND CHAT NOIR FLYING?! Like he can just do this now? Just because...

Okay Hawkmoth, so you're just gonna give the power of infinite destruction to an emotionally unstable teenage boy and expect to NOT be killed or harmed in any way, shape or form? Like...do you seriously not see any way that this could backfire? Your foolishness knows no limits

Side note: Was I the only one bothered by the fact that the akuma's light mask thing didn't appear on Chat Noir when he got akumatized?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! CHAT BLANC CAN JUST STRAIGHT UP ERASE EVERYTHING FROM EXISTENCE! WTF?!

Chat Blanc stops destroying everything because...reasons? Then allows Ladybug to get close because he thinks she's gonna kiss him and then Ladybug snatches his akumatized object, releases the akuma and purifies it...really? That's how we're doing this? Okay

And to wrap this all up: They pulled another "Oblivio" on us so none of the things that happened in this episode end up mattering but I mean...we already knew that it would end like this, since when has the ML crew actually committed to anything that isn't bad shipping drama?

Don't give me this Ladynoir shit at the end! We all know from the shitty finale that it doesn't mean anything!

In conclusion:

This has to be one of if the the most useless and frustrating episode in the series (and that's SAYING SOMETHING!), this episode was made just for the sake of shock value and nothing else. FUCK. THIS. EPISODE!

[bohorhap]

DAMN ROGER TAYLOR AND HIS PRETTY FACE (FIRST PART)

Hello everyone! So I’m posting my first imagine all in english written. English is not my first language so please be nice. I hope you’ll like it!

You swung the bottle of vodka, the liquid burning your throat, before releasing a gasp and open your eyes. Your gaze fixed on your roomate, the person you know the most in this room.

"Okay humm... truth or dare?" you asked bluntly as you type two fingers on your chin, trying to put your thougts in order.

The blonde female grinned and took a second, thinking of the best answer before answering: "Truth! I'm careful with you."

You chuckled, taking a seat on an armchair nearby, the bottle of vodka still in your hand.

"Alright then," you responded, your eyes not leaving the blonde. "Is it true that you have a crush ooon..." People in the room started to drum with their hands on tables, chairs or whatever they could find after you started to do it yourself. "Mr. Brian May, the clever kiddo who also has a rock side."

Satisfied by your question, you took another sip of the bottle between your hands, a smirk on your face.

This was a normal thursday night. You were all college kids that wanted to have a good time during smooth periods of the year. The exams being a week ago, you could all cheer that you succeed or thought so. Student life was nothing close to what you thought it would be. It was actually pretty cool. Your parents couldn't afford a flat for you in this brand new city in your life so you had to share a studio with a certain blonde girl in a student residence. You soon became really close to that girl named Charlie, and spent almost every thursday night throwing a party in the residence. It was a tradition in this building. But tonight was special: the residence keepers being really nice and aware that your exams were done, decided to leave the building and give it to you for the night. Everyone was there, even people who didn’t live in the residence.

Charlie was a blushing mess in front of you, everybody in the room teasing her about the question.

"Shut up y'all! Come on, we all have a secret crush on someone in this building so let's be noice and let her answer the question." Your attention went back to Charlie.

"I-uh... Yeah, it's true that I... kind of have a little crush on him..." she let out.

Everyone applaused and screamed at her response. You, on the other hand, wanted to have another sip of your drink but found out that the bottle was now empty. Arching an eyebrow, frustrated, you got on your feet and made your way out of the room.

Regardless of your unclear state, you managed to walk to the kitchen where empty bottles of alcohol were all over the place. You tiptoed through people and furnitures to finally be in front of the fridge. Opening it, you were glad to find two bottles of different alcohol. Not bothering to even read what it was that you were about to let into your body, you take them both out of there and close the fridge behind you.

Standing up and turning your back to the fridge, you find yourself facing a blonde boy with a cigarette between his lips, eyeing you from head to toe. You bit your lip lightly before avoiding his eyes on you.

"Y'gonna drink all of that, love?" his husky voice asked, sending you goosebumps.

God, that was so cliché. You were ridiculous. Having a crush on this guy?  Already seen a hundreds of times before. This gorgeous boy takes women for granted and you knew it. That's why you never told anyone about you liking him.

"Yeah, does it bother you? That I get to put my lips on this bottle?" Surprised at this sudden stream of confidence, you lightly bit your tongue.

This owed the blonde a smirk. Puffing a cloud of smoke out of his mouth, he took the cigarette between his fingers.

"Well, now that you're asking..." he leaned closer to you, his smirk still on his face. "I would prefer them to be somewhere else."

Roger Taylor. The drummer of a band called Smile. Never seen without a girl around him. So what he said didn't quite shock you. That man knew how to put a girl in his bed. And when he attended a party at which you were too, you secretly wished that the girl he would take home would be you. But no, it never happened. In fact, this was the first real conversation you had with him. You've always exchanged some glance with him and had a kind of conversation before but nothing too elaborated.

"So are you gonna hand that bottle to me or not?" he asked, pointing at one of the bottles that you had in hands. That sent you back to reality.

"In your dreams Taylor, these are mine. Go find someone else to sudmit to you," you scoffed, pushing past him and making your way back to the room where the truth or dare was still going on. Seeing you arriving in the room, Charlie smiled and patted the place next to her to make you sit there, which you did. Opening one of the bottles, you quickly took a sip before your attention was caught by somebody that had said your name. You turned your head to a dark haired guy and he asked you the following question: "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, darling. I'm feeling in the mood for facing whatever risk to which you expose me."

"What about you spend the night with... Roger Taylor! I've heard you had a soft spot for blondes."

Charlie's jaw opened wide, ready to take your defence.

"Oh my God, Blake, you asshole, could you not be more predictable? Plus, my friend here has some self esteem, thank you very m-"

She was cut short by you.

"Alright, I'll do it."

Charlie rolled her eyes at your statement, lifting her hands in the air. She mumbled a "of course" before she took a sip of alcohol herself.

You got on your feet, taking in a few gulps of your bottle to give you more confidence before putting it down on the floor.

"If you please, I have a man to seduce right now," you said leaving gracefully the room.

What the hell did you put yourself into?

You began to search for a blonde head in the building, sometimes stumbling over people that were laying on the floor like corpses. You searched in the kitchen, on the second, first then third storey but the male was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit," you thought "he didn't go home, did he?"

Leaning against a wall, you took a moment to take a deep breath as you felt yourself nauseous. Your head was spinning like crazy and all you could think of was throwing up. You rushed to the bathroom of the third floor and put some water over your face. Taking another deep breath, you leaned your hands against the sink and rose your head to take a look at yourself in the mirror. There, right there in the mirror was not only the reflection of your shitfaced head but also a blonde boy not far behind you, smirking at your awful state.

"Look who needs a break from alcohol. You really should've give me these bottles, love."

You squeezed your eyes shut. Well, at least you had find him, didn't you? You only hoped you had find him in a better state, not on the edge of throwing up.

"You need a smoke. Let's get some fresh air."

Opening your eyes again, you saw in the mirror that Roger had approched you and was now handing you a cigarette, another one already between his lips. After a beat you took it and turned around to face your target. With a head move, Roger led the way to the stairs where there was a place reserved for people who wanted to smoke. It was outside of the building, kind of like a balcony, but still was a part of the staircase. It actuallly looked like a cell. No one was there except from the two of you. This calmed you a bit.

Roger turned to you and lit his lighter in your direction. You put your hands around it and lean to light your own cigarette after the blonde had lit his. Stepping aside, you puffed on your cig, letting smoke escape your lips.

"Better?" Roger asked, to wich you nodded, taking another breath of smoke.

"Yes, thank you."

Roger nodded and gazed at the horizon which could be seen from where you two were.

It was a chilly night and you could feel the breeze in your neck. You had not much clothes on you, you only wore a really big size shirt and a pair of shorts. You wanted to wear something comfortable for this night and did not bother to put either socks or shoes on. You didn't mind, though. It was refreshing and you were enjoying the cool night.

"So," you decided to break the silence, "how come you ain't surrounded by a pretty girl tonight?"

The blue-eyed boy's attention returned on you.

"Oh, I am," he said, pointing at you.

You were thankful the light in here was dim enough to hide your blush. You didn't want to make a fool of yourself or appear as a shy girl. Instead, you raised an eyebrow.

"Well tonight I must say that you are surrounded by a gorgeous one."

Roger chuckled and took another breath of his cigarette. He turned around to face you and walked over to you. You were now getting quite unsure of yourself, seeing him so close. He stopped right in front of you.

"What looks alike goes with one another."

"Pretty confident, huh?" you huffed, putting a hand on your hip, finding steadiness God knows where.

"You seem pretty confident too, yourself. I've seen you in other parties and I must say that you must've drank ten whole bottles of gin to even get the nerve to talk to me like this."

This had taken you aback. You were confused and started to get angry at the same time.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" you asked after throwing your cigarette away. You pushed one finger on his torso, taking a step closer to him, making him take one away from you. "Judging people because they have a lack of self confidence. Bro, who gave you the right? Just because you're drop dead gorgeous doesn't mean you can make people feel fucking uncomfortable. Mother Nature was good to you, well man I'm happy for you, but don't you dare using your good looks to make people feel bad for not being as spoiled by beauty as you are."

Oh boy, where did you get that from?

"This is the most strange thing someone's ever said to me," he said taking another step away from you. He turned his back to you and bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, love. That wasn't my intention."

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever. I'm cold, can we go back inside?"

"Actually..." He paused, turning around once again. "Don't you want to get out of here? This party is dying and we're almost out of drinks."

Dumbfounded, you stayed still: eyes on him, a confused look on your face. He smiled at you and moved closer but this time you weren't intimidated.

"I would like to know more about you."

(part two here)