#it's the last option that motivated this
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I love men!! Not all of these but!! Men!!
#it's the last option that motivated this#actually that's not true#it was the thought of#putting gantlos in the ''30'' one#don't be shy babygurl make it 31#in whatever way#i'm flexible#also yeah braf is technically a shapeshifter too#TECHNICALLY#and darkar takes different forms as well#but this is my post so!!#winx club#winx villains#winx darkar#winx valtor#wizards of the black circle#winx ogron#winx gantlos#winx anagan#winx duman#winx tritannus#winx acheron#winx brafilius
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the key difference between kaiser and isagi as guys who boost their self-esteem by beating others is that isagi isn't satisfied by overcoming opponents who aren't a match for his skill while kaiser exclusively picks fights he thinks he can win
#bolo liveblogs#blue lock#bllk#isagi yoichi#michael kaiser#had this epiphany at approximately four am last night#don't think I'm saying isagi does this out of the kindness of his heart or anything either he's just challenge-motivated#this has been part of his character since the tag game when he targeted the strongest guy in the room instead of taking an easy win#looking for evenly-matched opponents to analyze and ''devour'' is a pattern for him!#kaiser meanwhile is afraid that he has nothing outside of football#(I mean this both psychologically and in terms of material wealth and security. ray dark recruited a kid with no other options on purpose)#so he never takes any chances#he goes out of his way to avoid having relationships with equals and doesn't want an opponent he can't crush#isagi's refusal to do exactly that INFURIATES him
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Study Tip #5
Have a good sleep schedule. Tired brains are not good for the learning process.
#all nighters are one of the last options#bad sleep causes headaches stress and more#not of that is good#study motivation#studyblr#study#study aesthetic#study blog#studyspo#study-core-101#student#study community#studyinspo#study tips#study time#studying#studying tips#students
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options
#shiv keeps her options open and that destroys like the last remaining appeal of a relationship with her - stability#greg keeps his options open and tom is then only motivated to make himself the best option#tomgreg#tom wambsgans#living+#with open eyes#mine
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Potential August Reads:
Helen by Maria Edgeworth
Marcel's Letters by Carolyn Porter
Heretics by G.K. Chesterton
The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion by Beth Brower
Something by Rose Wilder Lane
Poetry by James Whitcomb Riley
Something Jane Austen related (movies/miniseries count)
#monthly reading lists#books#in order we have#a library ebook i *have* to read because it said it inspired wives and daughters#a book that was vaguely on my reading list and happened to be at a library i rarely go to#(so i couldn't leave it there but it has to go on the list so i'm motivated to actually read it)#another random library find but also i'm in the mood to read chesterton discourse#(especially if it's short and i let myself read the chapters out of order)#it's emma m lion month and i better reread while i still have a ku free trial#found two rwl books at that same library and i'd like to read one at least#finding the old book of whitcomb riley poetry was a highlight of last august#(and i know the library has another volume that's just as old and forgotten)#and then austen august!#i had a lot of fun last month having a category with lots of book and movie options so i had to try another one this month
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like at my first artfight i went "im never filling one a these things out, if they're every year then why would i" but erm. well this year i had to because of team stardust. you understand. reblog
anyway my artfight's at /~Ria_Starstruck
#how did that joke go....u understand...reblog...no that wasnt it#whatever . u understand. (i look at you pointedly)#artfight#artfight 2024#stardust#artfight team stardust#artfight card#<- is that what this is#oh i put options on feral but i forgor the shapeshifting fellas i made dragon designs for but that counts as monster right#they Can shapeshift tho. so like . they Can be drawn as animal animals. just strange looking ones#....so. monsters. uhhhhhhhhhh. anyyywayyyyy#i was GONNA go off abt how i have no motivation but maybe i do have little a motivation. we'll see#i am NOT doing the same quality of attacks as i was doing last year tho. maybe i'll go n do a buncha sketchies n such#there is One mass attack im hoping to do...fits the theme parfectly...etc...but we shall see. but outside of like one mmmaybe two things#that will b the Only thing im full finishing this artfight probably#also the thumbnail is Like That for the outer wilds ocs in question cause i . idk man idk who would be looking up outer wilds ocs if they#dont already know. guh whatever
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Oh yeah, does anyone want to see my Fallen London oc? (I have 2 FL ocs, this is just the one I've drawn lol)
Their name is Vic Moore and I am sorry to the Tumblr poll I ran, but I did not like how they looked with tits larger than this lol. They use they/them pronouns and are a huge idiot (affectionate) They do know a thing or two about the Shapeling Arts so maybe their tits change in size idk
OH! The outfit was almost entirely designed by my sister @capn-merca because she's better at costume stuff than I am
#felix speaks#my ocs#my art#fallen london#fallen london oc#genuinely don't know what else to put about them here?#they love to eat honey and fuck devils and they're all out of honey#also loves to zail the zee in their zubmarine#doing Heart's Desire with them because it seemed fitting#my other character (Kit) is doing Nemesis because he's depressed as fuuuuck and it just seemed correct#the two of them are besties and literally no one understands why#the reason is that they're both motivated primarily by curiosity#Vic is motivated by curiosity (horny) and Kit is motivated by curiosity (haunted) so they're two sides of the same coin#I'm also Seeking with Kit but idk if I'm actually going to go through with it all the way or turn back at the last second#or the secret third option of getting bored of the grind lmao
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anyone know how to stop procrastination [or rather i think the term for this is autistic inertia??] cause i want to draw more than anything but can't get my brain and body to actually do it
#i think its mostly the pressure of NEEDING to draw something i dont want to#because i need to get out the next thing for my raingen thingy but i dont#i dont want to#i dont wanna draw it the sketch looks bad and i barely mustered up the motivation to do that alone last night#but i have no other options that are as productive#boy my brain hates me 👍#rant
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seems like my only two viable career options in the short term are
a) throwing myself into another difficult situation that will exhaust and isolate me and relying on my stubborn refusal to take care of myself or let myself quit (like i did in college)
or b) taking a few months to get a driver's license and a car and move out so when i get a machinist job i'll actually be able to commute to without slowly killing myself
#tbh id probably pick option a if i hadnt burnt out so completely in my last semester#it's scary to put career stuff on hold because i dont want to lose momentum or forget things#it would be nice if i could start working where i wanted right out of school and that's technically possible but also realistically#...it's only going to make my career prospects worse if i start off on the wrong foot like that#im worried i won't be able to keep myself motivated without burning all my other options and forcing myself to keep moving#but if i cant trust myself to be responsible or believe in the future then i really don't have a reason to live and it was all for nothing
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love to receive a branded keychain as a thank you from work leadership as opposed to something meaningful such as, idk, more paid time off or cash
#currently#sorry to be negative but it’s just insulting#unfortunately PTO & $$ must be negotiated with union but they could have done that instead of giving me branded shit I don’t need#also if you give it to EVERY employee then the ‘in recognition of your service’ isn’t meaningful#this does beat being given a gratitude journal for employee appreciation day#which is what happened at my last job#I googled this and apparently studies show that gifts motivate employees more than cash or gift cards#which is soooooooo funny lol like if i was being paid a living wage then MAYBE#but uh. cash is literally always the best option to me. as we live in one of the most expensive places on earth#anyway sorry just venting#last year they mailed everyone branded hats and the postcard said ‘hats off to you’
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I play D&D sometimes with my brother and/or his friends on his discord server and good god it’s so hard being the only bitch out here who plays D&D for the roleplay
#when I play Dungeons & Dragons I am first and foremost a character actress and comedienne#somebody please come play with me in this space#tell a story with me what is a story without characters????#yes and me at all#ask me any questions about my character dear god please#we have no NPC connections or motivations to help within the world besides gold#the DM said we’d be doing some quick downtime last session and I was so excited because yay finally some rp#IT WAS A TABLE#IT WAS A TABLE OF OPTIONS#we didn’t even rp the options we chose#I scrambled at the end there to tack on a scene asking why everyone’s characters were adventuring just to get people thinking at least a bit#about any of it#AND WE MOVED ON AFTER AN ANSWER FROM EVERYONE BUT MY CHARACTER#I am Forlorn#some d&d is better than no d&d but man#I need to run an improv class as part of my session zeros for my games because they were so shocked when I just ran with their comments#this is part of why I like DMing so much then it is me forcing my players to sit through the d&d experience tailored to my tastes#(which also incidentally includes most of the campaign being reactive to player input & backstories/motivations directly tied to the plot)#I am going to miss my normal group so fucking much#I’m not ready to be a widowed DM#spilling the Tea#d&d
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#extremely discouraged#I was getting help with insurance navigator person#and she was super helpful#we finished the application and I asked if there’s a way to see my info before I get my card#she asked if I want to see a doctor soon and I’m like I mean yeah but I’m waiting to start my case management#she pauses#and then tells me that the medical assistance I signed up for doesn’t include case management?????????????#lol okie dokie got it#and then she tells me all these websites and organizations I can go to file a disability#and telling me about these long applications I have to fill out#girl I can barely get out of my bed do you really think I’m able to sit down and fill out a 200 page form#seriously feel like the only option I have to actually get HELP is going to the emergency room#fun fact I almost went last night - SI thoughts were hitting me hard#but what always always stops me is the money…. my parents are already struggling#and me not working is not helping them at all#dad sent me this full time position literally at the place I’m going for day treatment and I was so confused#first of all I don’t think they’d let a patient work the front desk?? also how am I going to fit full time and this program in#especially when I barely can function and do basic shit (he doesn’t know how bad my SI thoughts were or have been but still)#I’m just bitching now I’m sorry#I need to do my laundry but now I have no energy or motivation to do anything#want to lay on the couch and through on a show and just chill there the entire day#wrapping myself up in my tortilla blankie so I’ll be a sad burrito :(#shut up rosie
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:-)
#I've spent the past week organizing in the play's wake - sorting and laundering huge numbers of costumes#some to return to those they belong to and some to come home to my costume storage room which had become chaotic over the last few#months#so a complete spring cleaning for the storage room became part of my task list too. Now the play's been over for a week#and the emails are starting to come in from admin about next year. As some of you know I did a lot of discernment this semester#about what next year should look like and I have decided a mix of continuity is best. I won't be working for my 'main' schoolboard anymore#but I will continue to teach and direct for the one program in the city (the one I did the play for) and possibly with a new home school#enrichment program that may go ahead this year if there are sufficient numbers. Otherwise I am going to spend a semester#tutoring and running workshops f I can get it off the ground. Then we'll see.#Anyway - admin wants me to get new syllabi in to them within a month's time so my thoughts are all in that direction!#I get to teach 19th/20th century Canadian history to the middle schoolers and Late Antique/Medieval Church History to the high schoolers!#Also direct another play and do a humanities course centred around an epic in the spring (the last couple of years we've done Iliad and#Odyssey - they want Aeneid this year but I am trying to talk them into another option. The Aeneid is valuable but I am not sure it's the#time or place with this group of students. The result of all this is that I am spending far too much time doing Internet research for ideas#and then taking breaks on tumblr - which isn't good for my eyes or mental health. What with the play and end of term#I fear I've been out of the reading habit. I'm still hyperfixating on the Book of Romans so there's that at least#but I lost the novel I was in the middle of and am not feeling so motivating with out books. It's a proper reading slump! I need a kickstar#of sorts. Feel free to yell at me that I should pick up a book!
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The Sleepy Parable (Patreon)
#Doodles#The Stanley Parable#TSP#Inspired by a play session I had while I was Very sleepy haha#I forget if it was late or early but it was definitely Tired out while I was doing some replaying so I was a little lethargic#Lots of crouching and looking at the floor and not much looking around just waiting as the Narrator talked over elevator rides haha#And that got me thinking about - what if Stanley was Actually the sleepy one? How much of the player's intention carries over into Stanley?#Obviously Stanley can't Literally get tired - he can slow down or speed up depending on where he is and you can make him crawl around#But a lot of Stanley is also left up to interpretation ♪ So why not a Sleepy Stanley <3#And sleepy means pajamas! Haha#Was this all just my master plan to draw Stanley in a nightcap? Maybe :3c#I really was sleepy while playing but you know how it is with thoughts lol#I do like the idea of the Narrator being extremely callous and uncaring for certain things - like Sinister's arm for example#But is Stanley hydrated? Need to use the restroom? Well rested?#Oddly I don't think he'd care that much about food?? Lol I can just see Sin's blood sugar bottoming out and the Narrator like ''Ah''#The way the Narrator plays the Sims: Keeps all motives except Comfort and Fun maxed out at all time and gets annoyed with the sims complain#Also! Let Stanley into his bed in the apartment! Either of them! With no buckets pls just let him rest For Once#The last one is of him enjoying(?) a cup of coffee since there's just so many options of mug around the office lol#That's certainly one way to stay awake
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SPOON TIME? SPOON TIME!!! 🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄
MORE SPOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!!!!!!
Current spoon count: 191 spoons 🥄
#YAY MORE SPOONS :D#I'm gonna use the leftover spoons and the new spoons to attack the last bit of the new featherbound part#will post the next part of library lockdown when I get home 👀#gonna make some final edits to it and make sure all the poll options are ready :3#cramps are killing me but at least I have some writing motivation back! /srs#SPOOOOOOOOOOOONS :DDDD#the spoon game#holy shit that's a lot of spoons#somebody send me 9 more spoons to make it a solid 200#allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers#ask
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i wish i could go back to who i was two years ago
#i think that was the last time i felt motivation and passion in my life#last year was so miserable and long and difficult and it just wont end 🤣🤣🤣 i need this degree to be over i need my life back#i need to figure out this grief i need to find a path i need to find a goal or something to work towards something that wont go stale after#two months i need to find friends or atleast learn how to let in the ones i already have i want to stop feeling so lost#i feel like i have options in front of me but every time i try to reach out to grab them i can or i dont have the strength to hold on#ummmmmm anyways ahah 😅
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