#it's. so

[peppermintpekoe]

im glad you seem to enjoy my poem so much <3 like i think you just made my day way better!

id love to hear like your thoughts about it like what is in there that made you rebog that 30 times??

IT'S SO GOOD i had to reblog it 30 times for the soul ok

seriously though, i loved it so much because that's exactly what butch means to me. it's almost synonymous with caretaker, it's about love, it's about saving spiders from the classroom.

growing up (and still, though less so) i was the mediator between my friends and parents and brothers. i kept fights to a minimum, i calmed people down, let them cry on me from the age i knew how to wipe away tears. i half raised my brothers. i raised my mom almost as much as she did me. my dad wasn't home most of the time.

i've been masc since i was 8 years old. i got my first "boy haircut" at that age and it hasn't been past my shoulders since. even without the transgenderism, masculinity is such a huge part of my identity and it's ingrained in every memory i have. a good portion of the bullying and exclusion i experienced was about not being fem enough. my parents are overjoyed in an almost offensive way when i do anything they deem feminine. i get more compliments when i wear a dress, when my hair is longer, when i wear sparkly earrings or paint my nails or use a higher voice. none of these things are exclusively feminine, but they're seen as such by so many people. i don't get compliments for being masc.

butchness is so much more than masculinity. it's part of me, it's who i am, and it's more than significant to my gender. being butch, to me, is being a shoulder to cry on and arms made to hold. it's like that 'interview transcribed from my mind' poem. yknow.

that one. yeah. that interview and your poem hit so hard for me because that's *what butch is* okay i can't. say it any other way. it's bridging the gap, taking care of people on both sides of the vicious fight, it's hugs and hand holding and wiping away tears and cooking for your brothers because your mom doesn't want to that night and sneaking into his room after a fight and holding him and letting him cry on you. and then once he's asleep it's doing the same for her. that's it. yeah.

[cemeterything]

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

[hopsof]

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[knifefightscene]

[wizardpotions]

Christmas as a cultural icon is starting to get really dystopian in a climate sense, december has historically been a time of year in which there would be snow in a significant portion of europe and north america, and the fact that its not even icy this time of year and all the christmas songs and decorations reference a time of year that will likely never exist in the same way again in my life time is so strange.

[tothechaos]

this is what every tiktok screenshot looks like to me

[fairycosmos]

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

[snakesinsocks2005]

Pin for survivors

[gwenlena]

hello tumblr

[liquidstar]

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

[calocera]

my pet mold spore

[sunbentshadows]

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[hojlundaise]

the transition im crying

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again