#its a mess I fear
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂
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swatchvember prompt: party
happy 37th birthday to Microsoft Paint ✨🎂🎉🎈
#deltarune#swatch#swatchlings#tasque manager#queen#art#swatchvember#THE ONE PROMPT I COULD NOT AFFORD TO MISS THE DATE ON#''guys what theme should we do for the bosses cake'' ''what if we made 3 cakes with diff themes and stacked them on top of each other''#''by the fountains Percy you are a genius''#queen makes them run around all day doing stupid shit and they finally get to the cafe and mysteriously its rented out#they cannot believe this is the first they're hearing of it this stuff usually has to go through them first#they very quickly find out that queen is also behind this and it is a huge private party just for them <3 they work so hard they deserve it#she is Snapping that stupid party hat onto their stupid head#and Repeatedly shoving a second one over the end of their beak all night to be annoying#yknow its good when swatch breaks character and actually Emotes but its an even better sign when they go completely static#because that means they are hiding an absolutely embarrassing display of emotion and its taking All of their energy#the cake flavors are strawberry - chocolate/vanilla split - and Funfetti btw#... funfetti is just vanilla with sprinkles in it last i checked but Shut Up Lmao#also i totally messed up their mood tints i figured fear was yellow but happiness is also yellow. so. i decided fear is more of a#highlighter/yellow-green color and happiness yellow is like a. nice mac and cheese yellow :) very warm but still distinctly golden#one is pleasant to look at and one is terrible
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DAZAI | BUNGO STRAY DOGS: SEASON 5
#its not looking good for me. im gonna be a mess ummmm i fear#dazai osamu#bsd#bsdedit#animeedit#bungou stray dogs#*
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"77.kra" just hits different
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#tw body horror#<- i think thats applicable here? better safe than sorry with this stuff methinks#i need to draw characters i like as little messed up thangs from time to time. its enrichment that is crucial to my wellbeing actually#+ brush im feeling the most rn vibes more with this stuff vs literally anything else. its either i go along w it or suffer artblock forever#also the whole “looks hella weird but its still the same moron” thing scratches my brain idk. nothing he does is intentional hes just dumb#i fear(/pos) ppl who make him look really damn pretty btw. yall are so real for that and have so much power i really respect yall djfmgd
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look at hims dancy legs
#there was a very friendly border collie that he was feeling a bit worried about#a few weeks ago he turned a blind corner and rushed up to say hi to two cattle dogs#on leash#and they were not appreciative#one snapped at him and he screamed and ran back#and then was very weary and sad for the rest of the walk#the owners were very very sweet and also a little unaware that their dogs were being spicy lol#but they had every right to be angry that a giant red idiot sped round a corner and crashed into them#luckily they laughed it off#whereas i was a shaking mess and very ashamed of my child's behaviour#anyway i was like great here comes the fear reactivity towards other dogs#but thankfully it has dulled his enthusiasm without creating reactivity#he now cautiously assesses other dogs before greeting and honestly its much more pleasant#thank you scary cattle dog#it was miller checking in to make sure the red dog isn't a total flunk#sprig#dogs
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classic modern au argument
#fear and hunger#fear & hunger#d'arce cataliss#cahara#enki ankarian#ragnvaldr#le'garde#funger#i had to turn my favorite post into one of these i had to#it looks a bit long but trust me its not that hard of a read#note: i messes up the names in some of the frames just look at whos highlighted lmao#thankfully its not that confusing even with the mistakes
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:0
#the sudden silence after the storm and the feeling fear starting to raise up#'am I being annoying?'#'we were all messing around... and i repeatedly asked for confirmation... so it has to be okay right?'#'but what if im truly just annoying others...'#'but what if...' ... my stomach is starting to hurt...#... sigh.... its okay seari. its late you are tired and the days have been a bit weird-feeling lately#she knows its a joke and she was laughing too. maybe just make sure she is still okay with it in the morning#come on lets calm down. spam like a couple mutuals and burry this post so its slightly more difficult to come across#seari talks#might erase
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*turns him into a mlp*
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something about john ward as a character that makes me cry like a baby
#its about the guilt of not saving amy#its about the trauma of being raised only to be a vessel for demons#its about having faith in your god and overcoming the impossible through it#ITS ABOUT THE INDOMINABLE HUMAN SPIRIT!!!!!!!!#ITS ABOUT FORGIVING ONES SELF!!!!! ITS ABOUT OVERCOMING FEAR !!!!!!!! ITS ABOUT RISING TO THE OCCASSION!!!!!!#most of all its about that amazing twink of a priest whos soooo babygirl coded#i love this game#john ward#father john ward#faith the unholy trinity#faith game#i watched the wendigoon video on it finally dont fucking talk to me#im a mess
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yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.
#it is also that he is autistic#i dont make the rules. its just true.#also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire#theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over.#they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not#dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him.#and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up#with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself#so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a#personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and#paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack.#see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years.#that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp#but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly#mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right.#if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt.#mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion#like boyboss good for him but thats it#anyway#dream of the endless#the sandman#raspberry rambles
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hey. immortal fears
on the sideblog
on ao3
#im only posting this cause 1. im very tired and 2. i really need my motivation to continue this story#ive been craving so much to write this again recently but i have huge mental hurdles and i feel like nobody cares anymore#so like.. give it a peep? lemme know what you think?? anything???#i love this story a lot and would love to get back to it. i have the next three chapters fully planned. i just need to write...#and i have most main bits planned as well so its mostly planned out. just. writing. its hard when i dont know if anyone is interested#anyways. i wanna post this today as ive been thinking a lot. so. here#please read immortal fears#(theres also a lot of other stuff in this timeline/au but im just gonna stick to the main story in this post ough)#ALSO FEEL FREE TO SEND ASKS ABOUT THE AU!! i would love to talk about this ;;#night is an absolute mess on main
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[rocking back and forth in a corner] it's alright that your writing isn't structured as well as you would've liked, it's alright that it feels shaky and unnatural, it's okay that there's plot holes, what matters is that you keep going, get that idea down on paper, and you can go back and expand on it later. yes even if it's bad yes even if it's messy. and even then if it doesn't feel quite right it's still worthy of respect and love and appreciation because you wrote that with your own two hands and the words came from your own mind. perfection is nothing, improvement is everything, there is no such thing as a perfect piece of writing.
#in case anyone is wondering how i'm doing with my fic#UGHGH i keep rereading the parts ive written so far and i'm starting to get annoyed with the first chapter especially#like i feel like more experienced writers than me will find my fic and be like. Wow. This sucks!#its Such a ridiculous fear im sure nobody is gonna think that but STILL#especially for this thing which i'm determined to put so much effort into. like what if i do all that#and then it still turns out to be like. unremarkable#god. GOD. it's FINE writing a fic which is slightly messy will NOT be the death of me#dear lord i hope someday my perfectionism is easier to shut up because it Will Not fuck off right now#theres also smth to be said here about how school messed me up but i cant put my finger on it#feel free to reblog btwwww#i know some of my mutuals are fellow writers and tbh itd be comforting to know that im not alone SDJKKJDVS#although if you do relate im also. patting you on the back bc its a terrible feeling#ferret rambles
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Happy Holidays!!
#Mianite#I’d like to apologize for the tag essay you don’t gotta read all that idk what happened#you know its interesting how red has called jordan ‘skipper Sparklez’ implying that he places them on the same level#especially since both of them have messed with capsize’s ship. but jordan places himself on the same level as capsize#because theyre both captains (which stops being true since capsize demotes him to boatswain)#and capsize makes Tom a captain meaning she places him on the same level as herself (Tom is a captain because he owns a ship btw)#(which btw is why capsize was like ‘you’re leaving my crew?’ to Jordan when he got the ss jerry but technically since he says the ship is#‘for capsize’s fleet’ it belongs to her)#I think the issue with Jordan and Capsize is that he doesn’t actually like her as an individual but as an idea#that idea being ‘having a teammate’ because it’s just been him up until that point.#arguably jordan doesn’t really care about capsizes feelings on things examples of this are#her saying no to getting married but he like ignores that and continues on with the idea that they’re together/ going to get married.#him throwing gold at her and assuming that was all it took to get a date out of her instead of asking (like everyone’s given her gold he#ain’t special) and the ss jerry which was made to impressive her but it’s in a color he likes and also he named it#also him stepping over capsizes boundaries and kissing her#me personally I will not write them having a positive relationship because Jordan’s ruined it for himself truly#I think we as a society need to put more blame on Jordan when it comes to capsizes death by the way#like while he wasn’t the only one in the room BUT he was the only one capable#Tucker was stuck in a hole Tom was being a bitch in the background Red was paralyzed in fear#and when Capsize gets threatened you know what he says? ‘Skipper you gonna do something’ (something along those lines anyways I don’t fully#remember) like he let Furia fucking villain monologue are you serious???#also it’s way more interesting that they don’t get along#or maybe i just like issues idk#feel free to disagree ofc
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another tagg deyna doodle ^_^
#my art#I CANT STOP DRAWING HIM HELP ME.. this one is the only one thats presentable (not a scribbly mess or showing munt) <- i didnt say that#i need to figure out his design… i like redwall being descriptive but not exact to allow freedom but could you be precise this time.#ive been just drawing scribbles on his face and hoping it looks something sawney would give a thumbs up to#I REALLY DONT WANNA FILL THE REDWALL TAG WITH A MILLION OF MY DOODLES . SO .#infested my brain. if i dont draw this stupid otter or any of the guys in his book ill explode.#doodled tammo too but i fear its been so long i cant draw him accurately LOL#<- READING I DIDNT REALIZE TAGG HAD FISHBONES ON HIS TAIL OR AN EEL BAG?#ended up making an appearances thread bc of that LOL#im so glad tags exist so i can ramble paragraphs in here and make it optional for people to look at#otherwise id be the most annoying poster in the world#taggerung#deyna#edit: dunno why this is tagged mature other than the munt part. thanks tumblr for recognizing what munt is
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Lark Oak Garcia
Rarely smiles, but when he does--it lights up the room like a sun ray on a bright day. Lark is a campfire on a summer night to me....warm and smoky. Be careful, he may burn you if you lean in too close but does he mean to? (Depends on the person)
Was struggling to think of what to add to this one. May do another set when I have more ideas. Dabbing doodle and the very bottom headshot are older but the rest are new. Anyways, he gives me a rugged and pretty vibe!
Also did a palette drawing of him recently: Lark Palette+Expression Request
#lark oak#lark oak garcia#sparrow oak#sparrow oak garcia#normal oak#normal oak swallows garcia#normal swallows oak garcia#dndads fanart#dndads#dndads s2#abeinginsand art tag#lark doesnt use druid magic in my design so he doesnt have naturally appearing leaves and petals in his hair#he just plucked a few off sparrow for their swapped disguise lol and covered up his scar#maybe they broke one pair of sparrows glasses to use the parts as makeshift weapons#also...hc a time when Lark dejectedly looked at his brother after a shift and admitted that he wasnt sure how much longer he could#last memory wise#only for sparrow to look at him with confusion and fear asking what their names were....it took a lot of talking to jog his memory#and got harder each time! I think about how they were trapped there a lot...its messed up :(#dndads spoilers#dndads s2 spoilers#dndads quest
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i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out
#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk#i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting#but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it#so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life#wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around#so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length#how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg#ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most#i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway#i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!!#i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well#i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately#I DUNNO#i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out#i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems#n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me#i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want#while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰#i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts#i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!!#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there#i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl#i just dont know what yet#concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent#ok i think this ramble is ovr#im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!
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