#its also nice to get a bit more of her thoughts on things imo

[chainreh]

hey guys did u kno in the mygo band story instead of showing soyos childhood bc they cant fucking show that they instead give her an internal monologue where she says (im paraphrasing ) no matter how hard she tried to be useful to people, she always felt lonely and then she agreed to the band (crychic) bc saki asked her to and she thought Oh Great i can be useful to her too^^ and then when saki says their band is fate it made her feel "warm" (something tomori often uses as a descriptor for her feelings) and being with the other members of crychic, for the first time since her parents divorce she didnt feel lonely.

machine tl so take with a massive grain of salt

"If I can be needed, maybe my loneliness will disappear."

"With that in mind, I started cooking meals, doing the laundry, and doing other household chores in my mother's place."

"I was invited to join the brass band by a classmate, and I did my best to practice the double bass."

"My mother started to rely on me, and I found a place to belong at school, but..."

"But the loneliness didn't go away."

"Somewhere in my heart, I feel like this isn't the place I belong."

"I was called out to, and if I could be needed... That's what I thought, and I decided to form a band."

"I didn't have any special feelings towards the band, nor did I have any expectations..."

"It was the first time in my life that I was told that it was fate... It tickled me a little. It felt warm."

"When I was with these five people, I never felt lonely."

i didnt include every screenshot bc image limit on mobile but i hope this got the vibe across 👍i feel crazyyyy

[liquidstar]

SEASON 3 TRAILER DROPPED HERES MY THOUGHTS (LN spoilers)

BROTHER AND SISTER OF ALL TIME THEYRE SO CUTE <3 love seeing how their relationship has progressed from beako literally throwing him out a window for stuff like this to her happily playing along its so so so so so cute. genuinely just one of the cutest and sweetest dynamics in the series

hi ram roswaal and fred :) this is probably all we're going to really see of you guys this arc lol

JOSHUA REAL!!!!! but not for long (also otto in the bg foreshadowing all the drinking hes about to do this arc. hes so stressed. poor emilia is trying her best)

julius looks so babyfaced here? they really emphasized his long eyelashes just like subaru has been on about every time he mentions him. they better include the scene where he checks him out, like, if they dont animate subaru looking dead at this mans ass im going to riot

i LOVE this shot of ana. you can really tell shes up to some corrupt capitalist bullshit as we speak. love her for that. wish i had this pic when i made that one money game anastasia video

the red dress actually does look really good on crusch like it compliments the green hair really well but also the crusch we know would not walk around in such a thing so its like. damn looks like the "memories are an important part of identity" story thinks memories are an important part of identity. who knew.

ALSO LOVE FELTS NEW LOOK SO MUCH! the only complaint is i felt (felt lol) like the red brought out her eyes more but the blue also looks cool. three primary colors all being used looks nice too

whatever who cares about all that THE CUNT!!!!!!! THE CUNT IS HERE!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE DRAMA SHE CAUSES TO BE ANIMATED FOR REAL

no fucking way... did they actually...

THEY DID! THEY CENSORED THAT HORRIBLE FUCKING DESIGN OH MY GOD. SHES WEARING SHORTS AND JUST A CROPPED SHIRT. AND CHAPS I GUESS? BUT ALSO A LITTLE SKIRT CAPE SO NO ASS SHOTS... THIS WILL MAKE WATCHING THE SEASON SO MUCH MORE TOLERABLE. i mean not perfect but STILL.

photos taken seconds before disaster lmfao. i still love how chin thinks subaru is a freak and weirdo for being so buddy buddy with him after he and his buddies mugged him. twice. (even more times from subarus perspective. hell he stabbed subaru once) genuinely cant wait to see more of this dynamic its so stupid.

THE FUCKING CUNT!!!!!! also the apples lol

oh you poor thing. you have no idea what next level family drama bullshit awaits. good luck. get ready to kill grandma AGIAN lol

:'( emilia still misses her terrible cat dad and its kinda sad when you know were not getting a resolution on that here either. they both look so sad :(

i cannot wait for garf mommy issues round fucking 2.

THIS CRAZY BITCH!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS CRAZY BITCH ANIMATED. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW THEYRE PORTRAY HER MANNERISMS. ESP W HOW WILD PETELGEUSE WAS ANIMATED IN S1. REAL LOONY TOONS BULLSHIT. AND HER POWERS ARE ALSO SOOOOOO MUCH COOLER I CANT WAIT

NO MORE DRESSES FOR CRUSCH YAY

he fucking bit it. yeah i guess thats what dogs do tho.

YOU. DIVORCE MAN. KILL YOURSELF. SLASH SERIOUS.

the empathy powers will have a glowing eye effect. very cool but i hope they dont show it too much in the first scene bc like in the LN i think its cooler if you dont know why everything is so... Wrong.

i dont rly have anything to say i just think ferris looks cool covered in blood. imagine being healed here like doctor catgirl will see you now

emilia be nice. that crazy bitch might be your mom. just like how the previous crazy bitch was in fact your dad.

THEY CHANGED UP CAPELLA'S DESIGN TOO honestly tho her being sexualized makes sense w a lot of the themes (the way its intentionally meant to be perverse and gross in a way explicitly stated) so i didnt mind as much and she still IS here but. this is still an improvement imo just a better outfit looks cooler. bug.

NAUR I DONT WANNA WAIT... OCTOBER.... AUGH

[codenamesazanka]

Went back to reread the last bits of Jaku Arc and all of endgame. Here are some long notes (first part):

-> Chapter 295 is the best chapter of 'Deku Wanting To Save Shigaraki'. Sadly it is also just about the only chapter where Deku explicitly states he wants to save Shigaraki (the adult Villain) from AFO, from his hatred.

Deku: "You killed so many of us! And hurt countless others. That is unforgivable. It's unforgivable… and yet… back there… when you got swallowed up by All For One… At that moment… the look on your face… You look like you needed saving!"

Deku is talking about someone who just forced his teacher to mutilate himself, punched a hole through a mentor's chest, and stabbed his childhood friend. Deku was livid about these actions. And yet, when he saw the horror show that is AFO being a flesh parasite to Shigaraki, Deku was concerned. And moreover, the expression Shigaraki had on was angry, glaring, but still Deku wanted to save him.

-> Unfortunately this gets recontextualized - for the worse - in Chapter 305. Chapter 305 - the "I want to save that little boy!" chapter - is actually a mess.

-> In Chapter 305, Nana asks Deku if he has the resolve to kill Shigaraki Tomura.

Nana: You looked at him, and saw someone who looked like he needed saving. That's what you thought. We know that much because we're in sync with your emotions. Banjo: The issue is... He sure didn't look that way to us! No doubt he's suffering, what with All For One taking over his meatsuit... but that's doesn't mean the kid is hoping to be saved. Even in a sitch like that… his eyes were filled with nothing but hatred.

So here is the Vestiges basically arguing against saving Shigaraki because of the way he looked and behaved. They acknowledge that he's in pain; they acknowledge that he's in trouble with All For One (their mortal enemy!)... but he doesn't look like a proper victim, so does he actually need saving? Plus he has the potential to grow into THE ULTIMATE EVIL. Plus there are people in this world who are just beyond saving. So does Shigaraki Tomura actually need saving?

IMO, this is when Deku should argue back that, yes, Shigaraki still needs saving, simply because of the situation he's in, simply because he's suffering. Stay consistent with what Deku said just ten chapters ago. Shigaraki is awful, but he needed saving. Shigaraki has done unforgivable things, but he's still getting swallowed up by AFO, and needs saving. Shigaraki is wallowing in nihilistic rage, and (probably) therefore he needs saving. "No matter what kind of trouble someone's in," [Chapter 126] Deku wants to save everyone with a smile. He sees someone that on the surface does not appear to deserve saving - that other people are dismissing! - but he still wants to save. This would be the much stronger conviction and have much more weight to his goal of becoming the greatest Hero!

But no. It turns out, there was actually a Crying Child inside all that rage. Deku was able to look inside and see and feel a five-year-old who was full of sadness. Well, who doesn't want to save a sad five-year-old? You kinda have to!

-> Plus, this revelation of the crying child immediately makes Nana clam up and look guilty and devastated. All her previous points about THE ULTIMATE EVIL and 'people who are beyond saving' loses water because... you can't say that about a five-year-old. You probably shouldn't say that about someone who still holds an inner crying child inside of them. So this issue is immediately ditched two pages after it's brought up. Shigaraki is sad, deep down, so he's not evil or beyond saving. Therefore he deserves to be saved.

-> With this, Deku draws a nice little line in the sand to decide who should be saved: Not everyone, evidently. And it does matter what kind of trouble they're in (so maybe they deserve to continue suffering). This becomes very evident later when Deku re-encounters Muscular and Overhaul. And I feel it reached its logical conclusion when Deku can save little ghost Tenko's heart, but has no solution to Adult Villain Shigaraki and ultimately contributes to his death.

-> Yoichi also takes time this chapter to respond to Banjo's comment that Shigaraki was full of nothing but hatred by pointing out that this was how Shigaraki was groomed.

Yoichi: That's how he was groomed. My brother's own damaged body now holds him back… So it's likely… that he schemed to hijack the boy's body and soul… As part of a grand plan to acquire One For All.

However, no one reacts to this. Not the vestiges, not Deku. Yoichi is straight up telling everyone that, hey, Shigaraki Tomura here is a clear pawn in AFO's schemes. Groomed to hate, and now having his body and soul hijacked, all for the sole purpose of stealing OFA. A clear victim...

But never mind, I guess. Why care about this blood-and-flesh guy who's survived being manipulated as a child to reach adulthood only to get possessed ("No doubt he's suffering, what with All For One taking over his meatsuit") in real time and in reality and saving him from just that? We gotta focus on the ghost of the Crying Child!

-> This is where I think the Viz translation doesn't quite work out - In the original Japanese, Yoichi says 'raised', with emphasis. This conveys and highlights the meaning that Shigaraki was not brought up properly, was manipulated in some way, but otherwise it's a relatively neutral word. In English, it's 'groomed', which everyone loves quoting, but that's a much more charged word, with the added connotation of Shigaraki never having had any agency. It is a word that makes everyone look real bad when they don't react to it. Like here.

-> When asked again by Nana if he has the resolve to kill Shigaraki, Deku reflects on his previous enemies.

Deku: Up till now, I've come up against all types. They've refused to back down... so fighting was the only way to stop them. But... I never understood what made them turn out that way. If I had, maybe things would've worked out differently. Or, who knows? Maybe I still would've had to fight them anyway.

Bolded is mine. My opinion, but this is wishy-washy-ness of the highest magntitude. This isn't Deku getting an enlightenment and from this moment on deciding to start approaching Villains differently. This is him casually considering a 'maybe'. This is him recognizing that there's a blindspot in his fights thus far... but unable to envision a future where he can correct that blindspot. Maybe things might have worked out differently... maybe not. Fighting is still on the table.

On it's own, it's fine. Deku's just thinking about his previous fights. He's musing about 'what if's. But this is him thinking as a response to Nana asking him to kill Shigaraki if Shigaraki proves unsaveable. This is him laying out the groundwork for his approach to Shigaraki. "Maybe if I understand him and try to save him, I can stop him that way... or maybe yeah, I still have to fight (kill) him."

-> And finally, we have The Declaration. I Want To Save That Little Boy. I am sorry to inform you that if you look at the context surrounding the sentence, it's not actually about saving Shigaraki/That Little Boy.

Deku: Shigaraki killed so many people. He's hurt people near and dear to me. And yet!! One For All is a power meant for saving, not killing. All Might taught me that. And not just me. All Might... and all of you who've built up this power... have given hope to countless people out there. I get that this power was first meant to destroy that evil. But you've all given your lives to link the chain this far... and I think there's another big purpose behind it all! Maybe there's no other way besides killing. And I dunno what I'm going to do when the time comes... But I want to save... that little boy.

Let's break it down.

"Shigaraki killed so many people. He's hurt people near and dear to me. And yet!! One For All is a power meant for saving, not killing." - Already the focus is taken away from saving Shigaraki. The focus is on OFA as a power. OFA saves - therefore, the implication is that it can be used to save Shigaraki. The implication is all we get.

It's also not that Shigaraki shouldn't be killed - and Deku brings up Shigaraki's crimes so he clearly thinks they're relevant to whatever his unspoken judgment of Shigaraki is - it's that OFA is a power that shouldn't be used for killing.

We of course then get stuff about All Might, because Deku cannot shut up about All Might. But once again, the focus is on OFA and All Might, and how they inspires other people. How they give other people hope. Does it give Shigaraki hope? No - as Deku should well know from their Mall Talk. I think this counts as failure number one in trying to understand Shigaraki, and Deku hasn't even officially started yet.

"I think there's another big purpose behind it all! Maybe there's no other way besides killing." Sadly, despite what I think we as a fandom has gaslit ourselves into thinking, killing is still on the table. Had been from the start. Deku believes that saving is also what OFA is now meant for... but he doesn't commit to it. He keeps killing as a possibility, instead of getting rid of it completely.

"And I dunno what I'm going to do when the time comes..." Deku never gets a plan. He says this in Chapter 305, and still has no plan in Chapter 417. Without a plan to ensure saving Shigaraki is a successful, of course killing is on the table.

Then after all that, finally, Deku says he wants to Save That Little Boy. That's the line we were all fixated on, because that's what matters to us. As it turns out, what Deku was fixated on was all the stuff before this line.

Overall, the gist seems to be: OFA is a power that's meant for saving, and that concept has given inspiration to Deku and many people out there. This power has evolved to be about saving... and that's why he wants to save that little boy.

(BUT maybe there's no other way besides killing)

(Deku also has no idea what to do when the time comes.)

So this part of Deku's speech, leading up to The Declaration? Not about the victim. It's not about Shigaraki and saving him from AFO. It's not even really about The Crying Child and his exact circumstances. It's about the abstract idea of saving - and propping up OFA and All Might.

-> Cheap blow but it is notable that Deku says "I want to save that little boy" and not "I will save that little boy". Where's your stubborn shonen determination, kid?

-> Also extremely hilarious in hindsight when you realize OFA ends up still being something that destroys AFO. And something that lead to Shigaraki's death. So much for being a power that saves.

-> Chapter 305, overall:

Deku never actually says 'No' to the possibility of killing Shigaraki.

Shigaraki Tomura is acknowledged explicitly to be suffering from AFO possession, but the idea of saving him is disregarded in favor of That Sad Little Boy.

And we're not actually here to save the victim - we're here because OFA is So Cool.

Off to a great start.

[redux-iterum]

man. i really do love the way you’ve handled tigerclaw— he’s still a bastard, but he’s a bastard who GENUINELY thinks he’s doing right by his clan, his family. the shift in motivation from “i want to conquer the whole forest as a tyrannical dictator” to “i want to isolate thunderclan from its neighbors so it can be restored to it’s former glory and flourish” is WAY more impactful, imo. i also think there’s something to be said about how he’s (maybe) willing to exempt fireheart— whose entire character has been about BUILDING bridges between thunderclan and the rest of the forest— from his hitlist and make a hypocrite of himself because he and goldenflower have a fondness for him. i choose to believe that tigerclaw is still proud of the way fireheart stands up for what he believes in, even if it is conflicting with his own goals.

tldr; loving the direction of this so far. thank you guys for all your hard work!! looking forward to my heart continually being broken in the future <3

Figured answering these two together would be ideal.

It’s excellent to hear the enthusiasm and kind words, thank you! I’ve been stowing away this discussion about Tigerclaw and Fireheart for a while, and now I get to blather!

People have brought up that Tigerclaw choosing not to hurt Fireheart is unusual, since Fireheart’s the one that’s soft to outsiders and has been on track to softening the entire Clan as well, and Tigerclaw is against that. The reason for this requires a bit of a tangent.

Tigerclaw initially was a bit emotionally distant with all his Clanmates, save Goldenflower (for the most part). Not in the sense of “I don’t care about any of you”, but more like “I care about you, but I’m not so attached that I can’t kill you to save everyone else”. He’s had the thought in his mind for years that he could be a better leader than the one everyone already loves, that these cats had impaired judgement and couldn’t do what needs to be done, that he didn’t want to commit to having a family because that could get in the way of his silent and righteous crusade. He cared for his Clanmates, but his heart was careful not to get too close to anyone, even, to a very small extent, Goldenflower. What if he needed to put her out of the way too?

And then Fireheart happened.

Initially, Tigerclaw didn’t care about him. It’s some kittypet who has a tiny bit of potential. Big whoop. He was under the category of “to be Handled if he gets too uppity and does the wrong thing”, and Tigerclaw expected he’d stay there forever. That was fine and easy, even if Goldenflower got attached to him. He could kill Lionface if he needed to, why would he be unable to take out a shrimpy outsider just because his mate likes him?

The thing is, Fireheart’s got this annoying little talent of drawing out people’s kindness and affection without even trying. We’ve seen his own gentle, broad love for everyone around him, even those he just met and knows nothing about beyond them needing help from a stranger. He is overflowing goodness and fondness and empathy in a somewhat compact ginger body, and you can’t break that or scare that out of him. And somehow, with that infallible bravery to keep being kind and polite, he manages to worm his way into the core of another cat and soothingly convince them, even unconsciously, to offer a nice word to someone they don’t like, or maybe ask a Clanmate if they’re doing okay when they think they don’t care, or even just blink trustingly to calm a frightened and starving outsider they should be chasing away. It’s difficult to catch him doing it, but as we’ll see in the rest of the series, it’s a gradual, unstoppable infection.

This talent is what made everyone (well, except for Darkstripe, but he doesn’t like anybody) so fond of him, even if they preemptively think he’s just a dumb kittypet who needs to toughen up. Frostfur is a good example: she went from apathy and disdain to offering him silent support when he brought Cloudkit home and actively partaking in conversation with him when he approached her, just over the course of this book. All he had to do was, like I said, be kind and polite, and he gradually broke down even her walls. Charred Legacy, the next book, will go more into this, so I’ll save the details for now, but my point is that Fireheart is really damn good at making his Clanmates and friends care about him and others.

How troubling (and mildly amusing) it was to Tigerclaw to find that he wasn’t exempt from this. And how amazed he was to find that coming to care for this little outsider his mate was eager to adopt opened up a whole new world for him. Maybe having kits wasn’t so bad. Maybe he could be a father and still do what he needed to do, and maybe his family didn’t need to get hurt in the process. Maybe Goldenflower was more precious to him than he realized, and maybe Fireheart was someone he could see as a son, and be proud to do so.

What Tigerclaw failed to account for is that attachment complicates things. You might have to kill someone – but no, now you come up with excuses not to. They’re just misguided, you can fix them with a couple conversations. You don’t have to take them out. They’re your family! And your family is important! Surely you can let them live, just these particular cats. You can change their minds. They’ll understand and appreciate your goal in time. It’ll be just fine, you know it.

And so it went, deeper and deeper, until his twisted mind was able to justify not hurting Fireheart ever, solely because he’s his son, and his son deserves to live no matter what. In the same way he thought of his more “dangerous” Clanmates as a liability even if they didn’t really do anything wrong, he thought of his mate and son as essential to ThunderClan, even if they went against his ideals.

He never did see the hypocrisy in that. And even to the end, he never even dreamed of hurting Fireheart.

That’s his son, you know?

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 14 Thoughts: Shedding Light

This was a pretty light one all in all. Which isn't too surprising given how short this episode was. Not a whole lot to dig into here which is probably for the best given the last few. However for the nerds into the numbers a couple of very interesting things did come from this one.

Spoilers for episode 14 below the cut.

Choco Leibnitz. Still incorrect. I think this is intentional and a Mandela effect thing. It's nice to see Celia and Alice talk and it's extra nice to see Celia not taking her shit. She's obviously jealous as hell and she's really the sort to make that someone's problem IMO. Not that I have anything against Alice or that I think she's evil. But she does have her flaws. It's also interesting to see how she's consistently digging for info and being generally fairly duplicitous about it. She didn't ask Alice if she had any thoughts on why but did lead her to offer her own. It obviously wasn't effective but it's a habit of Celia's to hide behind things like that. Such as mentioning she has a kid to obfuscate that she's got other secrets. Say something that is very clearly a big deal to drop on a first date and people aren't likely to think you're hiding further secrets. But if Freddy knows, we know. Celia thinking she was actually maybe kinda flirting for real was very cute though.

For the incident I've got nothing much to say. I don't like being too negative in these things but I have very little to say otherwise. I really liked the format of it but it was too short to really build it up effectively. There wasn't a lot to sink your teeth into here or enough of it to slowly build any real dread. I also thought this was a rare miss from Jonny on the performance. It didn't do a whole lot for me, unfortunately. I think there was a lot more to the concept than got explored and the transformation aspect is a bit out of nowhere. The mention of an institute is obviously an important detail here but I'll get to that in a bit.

I really would've liked to see more of Gwen and Sam talking about filing these things. I get why Gwen is so touchy and exasperated about it but it's still interesting to get into. It's also not the first time Sam gets given a classification that he later disagrees with in the filing. Hard to say if that means something but coming from Gwen it seems a bigger marker that Sam is incorrect than it does when it was Alice.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet

Klaus Watch: Starting off we a new section that'll only be here when it's relevant. For those not in the know the old IT Manager at the OIAR, Klaus, has an excel spreadsheet named after him. This was found during the ARG and its a semi-corrupted list of OIAR incidents with CAT#R#DPHWs assigned. Along with some dates and some additional notes. The original German and a translated English copy is in the above link. Not every incident matches but he episode sheet links to it when they do.

CAT1RB4426 is a match. There isn't a date so just that alone is what I'd call a partial match. There isn't a guarantee those strings are unique after all. However it's one of the few with an accompanying note, "Mag". These notes are in German and "mag" is a German word but what it means is "like" or "to like". Which in context makes a lot less sense than the other notes tend to. Given the mention of an institute in the incident it seems pretty likely that "Mag" is short of "Magnus" and as such is a specific detail about the case. As was the note of "tinte" (ink) on Daria's incident.

DPHW Theory: 4426 seems pretty reasonable.

CAT# Theory: CAT1 is interesting in that it's another crack in the Person/Place/Object theory. This one was no more about people than any of the other transformations were and neither of those are CAT1's. But that whole theory already involves ignoring some things and assuming some other bits to make it work.

R# Theory: Another B for a thing I'd say is a B. Really very little to get into on these until something either doesn't fit or we get some significant new information.

Header talk: Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde is what Sam ended up going with on this. Rather than Snakes (Horde) -/- Infection as suggested by Gwen. Not the first time he's done that and one of these days I hope we'll get a misfile report. Clarification on what is or isn't junk data would be lovely.

[elizabethshaw]

hm. thinking thoughts

under the cut for spoiler reasons:

this is literally just me writing stuff up in no real order so there is probably not all that much coherence to it. ah well

loved how unsettling it was having something wrong with the tardis! the tardis (in the tv show at least) is usually the one guaranteed safe place in any given dr who episode and so to have it suddenly a threat like that felt genuinely unnerving

the time window sequence was cool. really liked the fuzzy, there-but-not-quite-there visual effects

i also loved the monologue/prophecy/whatever, built things up very nicely and idk. i just vibed with it. i have more to say but the words are not coming to me right now

"and standing on high is the Mother and Father and Other of them all" i haven't even read lungbarrow but them saying "other" here immediately got my attention lmao

for an episode called "the legend of ruby sunday", it felt like (particularly in the last third of the story), there was remarkably little actual focus on ruby. while i do genuinely like her as a companion, i do feel like she's been one of the biggest casualties of the shift to a shorter series length with less time for "filler" episodes - we simply haven't had the time to get to know her on a deeper level, and i was hoping, given the title, that this story would do something to rectify that a bit. and then it didn't.

saying that, i did appreciate them giving her some more scenes with her mum this episode, i think she has a really nice dynamic with her family and we haven't seen enough of it since the christmas special imo

no trickster :( he got a mention at least but i was hoping he'd be the villain ngl

i have watched pyramids of mars once, four years ago, and barely remember the plot (my main memories of that episode are sarah with a gun ngl), probably going to have to rewatch it before next week. dailymotion you may have to be my saviour once again

not entirely sure how i feel about sutekh as the main villain. this is at least in part because my memories of pyramids of mars are hazy as anything, but i'm just... undecided. to its credit, the episode itself actually did a good job of getting me very excited about the reveal while i was watching, but as an overall thing? i don't know yet. i think i'm going to have to wait until i've watched the finale next week to form a full opinion

i reckon he must have hitched himself onto the tardis around/during "wild blue yonder" though - this is the first time where the tardis starts making The Noises, and is also the first time susan twist turns up, and that can't be a coincidence, especially given that, as previously established, it was likely fourteen's salt trick in this episode that let the toymaker back into the universe

i rewatched "the church on ruby road" earlier this week bc i figured it'd be a good shout and i hadn't watched it since broadcast, and during that i felt like mrs flood was maybe a "retired" companion, possibly a future companion (maybe of a future doctor) that we haven't met yet. after this ep though, i'm not so sure. she seems at least aware of sutekh in some way, and also seems potentially antagonistic, but i'm not sure she's actually directly linked to him. i'm fairly sure as well rtd said at some point she's more of a mystery for later series so. hm. it'll be interesting to see what more we get of her in part two

i can't shake the feeling that they are going to do something with susan further down the line. there have been more mentions of her in this series than in basically the rest of new who put together and i can't help but think that this must be for a reason even if susan twist wasn't her

anyway the real mystery for me: what is the vlinx. i have been thinking about this on and off since december. what is it. how did it get into unit to begin with. i need answers

[aihoshiino]

different anon! but i 100% upvote other anon's comment of you being the professor of hoshino-aiology 😎👍 your posts about her give me a newfound appreciation for her and imo you should be the one writing 15 year lie frfr 🤧👏✨️

and if you haven't written anything abt it, could you share your thoughts abt the spica ai chapter? i liked ai and saitou in it but i was shocked at how intense the b-komachi bullying was :0 poor ai 😢

THANK YOU ANON…….. god can you imagine what this manga would be like if i had been given that kind of creative control. you're going to read my 15 volume hoshino ai backstory flashback and you're going to love every single chapter of it!!!

When it comes to Spica, I have pretty mixed feelings on that first chapter. For transparency's sake, I broadly dislike the novel overall and I think it takes away from the relationships it depicts more than it adds. Like I mentioned in a previous ask, my issue with Spica (and its depiction of OnK's world and characters) is its tendency to flatten and simplify many of the interesting interpersonal wrinkles that characterize these central dynamics in the main story. This is much more evident in the GRSR chapters (as outlined in that post) but you can absolutely see it in Ai's chapter as well.

POST-WRITING CLAIRE EDIT: So while this post initially started as me broadly skimming some of the issues I had with chapter 1, it has ballooned into a much, MUCH longer essay about what it is about Spica that I disliked and why, broadly, I think it fails to work both as a standalone piece and as an addition to OnK as a canon. I'm pretty negative about the book in this post and very critical of the writing so if you really liked Spica and it would bum you out to see me take it apart, feel free to skip this post.

On the surface, Ai and Saitou's dynamic is pretty true to the main story and I will admit that I do enjoy their rapport in this chapter and just that we got a chapter focusing on this relationship full stop. Ai and Saitou's relationship is one I've always been particularly soft for and getting a whole chapter that was basically just exploring its early days was really nice. But it's also a very rose tinted view of that relationship in a way I think does it a bit of a disservice. I discussed this in my OnK anime rewatch but Spica's take on Saitou (and thus on his relationship with Ai) frames him as a wholly positive and supportive figure whose desires for money and success in the entertainment industry are explicitly, textually said to be secondary and unimportant to his uncomplicated kind desire to support them as they succeed. There's almost this sense of "wow, isn't it so noble and cool that saitou is kindly allowing these tweenage girls to work themselves ragged making money for his company!!!" that's a bit icky to read.

This is in line with the bizarre ways Spica portrays idol culture, in particular the 'oshi'/fan dynamic. This is another thing I've discussed before, so I'll borrow my previous words on the topic:

The Japanese text of [chapter 137] takes this dehumanization a step further: Rather than the wasei-eigo term アイドル (aidoru), when calling [Ai] an idol, Gotanda uses the word 偶像 (guzou) - an idol by its original definition. It goes beyond just reducing her to an animal - it’s objectification in the very literal sense. Ai is an idol, a ceremonial object of worship, an inanimate vessel for the dirty desires of the people around her. [...] Spica [...] depicts the moment that Ai starts down this road, committing herself to being an idol who will love and support everyone, even people who hate and scorn her. This is framed by the novel as being something of a breakthrough for her and being liberating for it but I came out of it feeling deeply unsettled in a way I don’t think the novel wanted me to be. [...] Spica depicts the moment that Ai goes from アイドル to 偶像 without seeming to realise that’s what it’s doing and thus does so in a way that is not just uncritical but wholly celebratory. In a lot of ways, this makes sense - Spica, broadly speaking, is about the “oshi” part of Oshi no Ko: the emotional fulfillment of not just receiving support but in the act of giving support yourself, in cheering someone on and seeing them succeed. Spica depicts these sorts of relationships in a straightforwardly and uncritically positive light, even in cases of parasocial relationships between fans and celebrities.

There was a lot on that topic that I left out just because that chapter review was already getting so fucking long and unhinged but Spica's entirely uncritical and celebratory view of idol culture in general always leaves me feeling deeply uncomfortable every time I engage with the text. There's a degree to which this can be excused, because Spica takes place in the POV of characters who have drunk the industry kool-aid and thus would not necessarily interpret some of this stuff with the same critical lens as a reader. A charitable interpretation of the material is that, like Viewpoint B and 45510, the story is choosing to refrain from commenting on these troubling elements for the purposes of allowing the reader to have their own take on it.

This would be nice… except it's just not how Spica handles emotional beats at all!

When talking about Spica in the past I have jokingly referred to it as being written like 'the emotional equivalent of the Superdictionary' and by that I mean that it has absolutely no restraint or subtlety when it wants you to Feel Something. When Spica has an emotional beat, it hammers it in until any organically resulting resonance with the material has been reduced to a fine paste. When it has Thoughts and Opinions about a topic, it will explain them to the reader in excruciating detail so there is no risk of the reader taking away anything that wasn't intended by the author.

My point is that there is every indication that Spica's straightforwardly celebratory portrayal of idol culture and the way fans respond to idols is something intended to be taken at face value with no further interrogation. Spica is, by and large, entirely uninterested in acknowledging the ugly underbelly of exploitation, dehumanization and misogyny that drives idol culture and idol fandom.

I think the best way to illustrate this is to look at the scene near the end of the chapter where Ai finally sits and reads her fan letters. The first two are genuinely warm and sweet but the third always jumps out at me in a way I don't think was intended by the author;

“Hello, Ai-chan. I'm a devoted listener to your streams. B-Komachi's songs and talk shows have honestly become my sanctuary. I'm currently stuck working to the bone at a terrible company. They hardly pay me anything, and every day I just want to die. But what keeps me going is knowing I have your streams to look forward to every week. I’m not even kidding. Ai-chan, you're my reason to live!"

The story does not for a second pause to linger on this letter but I want you to stop and really take it in. While we know nothing about this letter's author outside of what's written here, but given that they have a job they can be presumed to be an adult. In addition, the final line of the letter in Japanese is 『アイちゃんは俺の生きる希望！』, using the masculine first person pronoun 俺 (ore), implicitly gendering the writer as a man.

An adult man writes to Ai to traumadump on her uninvited about his suicidal ideation and telling her in no uncertain terms that she is the sole, singular reason he is alive. Ai is a twelve year old girl.

Spica frames this as an entirely good, wholesome and affirming moment for her. It's one of many similar moments where Spica's celebration of idol culture clashes so strongly with the main story's that trying to make them tonally cohere is almost impossible. In fact, mild tangent, but I was working with the Spica TL team on chapter 1 right around the time chapter 137 dropped, and reading the ending of this chapter back to back with 137's tearing down of Ai's exploitation at the hands of the idol industry was some real injury-worse-than-whiplash inducing shit.

To be clear, I don't need Oshi no Ko to have a huge UM ACKSHULLY THIS IS WHY THIS IS BAD!!!! digression every time characters have positive interactions with the concept of idols. It is fundamentally dishonest and lacking in nuance to portray idolhood as something entirely and unrelentingly negative or to act like idols hate every single second they spend as idols. Sarina and Gorou's POV chapters do a very good job of highlighting what I talked about earlier - Spica's ruminations on the 'oshi' part of Oshi no Ko and how a relationship of support can be emotionally fulfilling both for the person being supported and the person unreservedly providing it. But that's purely from a fan perspective and I think it would be really interesting to Spica to take the opportunity afforded to it by being in Ai's POV to properly interrogate what Ai enjoys about being an idol.

But the way it chooses to do so just feels atonal both with Ai's arc and relationship to idolhood as portrayed in the main story and ways the manga has talked about 'oshi' culture in chapters published before and after Spica's release. It clashes with Oshi no Ko in ways I find difficult to satisfyingly reconcile.

This sense of clashing with and contradicting Oshi no Ko is an issue Spica has more broadly, in big and small ways. Some of this is just small, incidental details but other issues are larger and added all together, it results in a sense that Spica was not written by a person fully keyed into Oshi no Ko's world and characters. Like, just off the top of my head, here's some things that stuck out to me just from chapter 1:

Ai notes that she was separated from her mother a long time prior to the story's timeframe but given the ages give for her in 131 and here in Spica, it cannot be more than three years max since she was removed from Ayumi's care.

B-Komachi's formation and Ai's joining the group are both said to have happened 'three months ago' as of chapter 1's timeframe and thus to have happened more or less at the same time. This contradicts the Akasaka written material that consistently frames Ai as being one of the senior members, yes, but as having joined the group after Nino, Takamine and Watanabe.

The portrayal of Ai's bullying by the other B-Komachi members in no way matches Nino's account of it in 45510. This isn't even in a way you can put to Nino being an unreliable narrator. The details are so different that the only way to reconcile them is to assume these are two separate instances of bullying and that Nino just. Didn't mention the first time it happened for no reason.

On the subject of the bullies, the two girls targeting Ai are implied by their physical descriptions to be Takamine and Mei. While we don't really know anything about Mei yet, the vicious and unapologetic hostility Takamine displays clashes with her 'tough love' roughness that we are shown in the main story. In addition, this contradicts 45510's very explicit statement that Ai's bully was IMMEDIATELY fired from B-Komachi, no questions asked, the instant Saitou knew who she was. There is no indication in Spica that Ai's bullies so much as get a slap on the wrist for their behaviour.

Spica attributes B-Komachi's current success almost entirely to Ai and portrays her as working very hard on set and communicating with every other member of staff almost excessively to the point of annoyance. Not only does this contradict the early manga's portrayal of Ai as being antisocial and uncommunicative on set prior to her being sent to Lala Lie, it also contradicts chapters that were released following Spica that explicitly credit Nino as the key figure for B-Komachi's initial boom of success and states that Ai joined the group after Nino had cemented their popularity.

There are absolutely ways that you can handwave these contradictions and sew up the internal logic but to me, the nature of these contradictions matter to me less than the fact that they exist in the first place. This implies, especially given that some of these are in material written by Akasaka after Spica was published that he and Tanaka were, to some degree, not on the same page about the book's material.

There's some other things scattered about that aren't necessarily direct textual contradictions but nevertheless feel really out of step with OnK's takes on these characters. And like… I have tried to be relatively measured and good faith in my critiques so far but there is a part of chapter one that makes me so just bees buzzing around in my brain flames on the side of my face blood boiling in my veins insane that you must allow me to just uncharitably tear into it.

[Ai:] “Ah, now I get it. Are you buying a gift for your girlfriend, President? You like them young, after all…“ Finally, it clicked. The president, being considerably older than his girlfriend, needed the insights of a girl closer to her age in order to pick out the perfect gift. If that was the case, that explained why Ai had been roped into this. [Ai:] “Well, not that I should be getting into your business or anything, but…President, be careful when you mess with underage girls, okay? Nowadays, you’ll seriously end up in jail.”

I'M SORRY. WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING RIGHT NOW. SHE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This moment actually makes me so angry that it is difficult for me to clearly and calmly articulate what I find objectionable about it. I understand that it sounds very dramatic, but this is the first in a very consistent line of Spica bringing up the idea of adult men engaging in romance and/or sex with underage girls with this blithe, jokey and dismissive tone that entirely undermines everything Oshi no Ko itself says about CSA. The fact that it starts off this trend by putting these words in the mouth of Ai, WHO IS HERSELF A FUCKING CSA VICTIM, and treats the entire exchange as a throwaway joke honestly makes me feel a little bit sick.

This is part of a much broader and more troubling trend in Spica of Hajime Tanaka simply not being able to write young women in a naturalistic and human way. It's difficult for me to express exactly what it is that feels so off other than to say that it's Covered In The Fucking Ooze in a way typical of Men Who Can't Write Women. Ai's bullies in chapter 1 are so cartoonishly and stereotypically catty and mean that they barely feel human and they are written with all the distinct individuality as Thing 1 and Thing 2. The more complicated, two-sided conflict between two flawed people as seen in Ai and Nino's relationship is totally absent here. It's just the most vapid, stereotypical depiction of Teenage Girl Bullying you can imagine.

On top of that, there is a consistency with which Tanaka puts the topic of sex into the mouths and minds of these young women that fees… icky and offputting to me in a way I find difficult to articulate. In general, the voices of these young girls feel off and inauthentic in a way the main series never struggles with. For all I've criticized Oshi no Ko for in the past, something I think Akasaka is consistently and surprisingly good at is writing female characters who feel just as distinctly well realized and fleshed out as his male characters and that he does so in a way that does not rely on completely degendering them - their experiences as women are important to and inform that their characterization but does not entirely rule it. Despite overwhelmingly centering girls as the heart of its narrative, Spica barely feels capable of writing them as people.

All this together gives Spica this really strong sense - to me - of not really fitting in with the spirit of Oshi no Ko as a story. It's not just that the narrative voice is different but that there is an underlying flavour to Spica's takes on this world and its characters that clashes with the original. The cast as a whole just feels off, not blatantly OOC in a way you can directly point to but just enough to feel uncanny and give me a THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!!! moment for almost every single person with a speaking line. It feels, as I put it on the Oshi no Brainrot server, like a thing that exists not because there was a part of the OnK narrative that worked best as a light novel but because somebody, somewhere thought a Oshi no Ko light novel would make some money and decided to have one churned out.

oh my god anon I'm so sorry lmfao you did not ask for this GIGANTIC ODYSSEY OF A POST!! This was just one of those asks that tapped into a topic I had already been having extensive conversations with myself about in my brain (I have a very boring job with a lot of time spent alone lol) and the more I typed, the more of those thoughts spilled out. I think a big part of why I am so compelled (derogatory) by Spica's missteps and mishandling of its material is that there is so much potential here and so many points where the material really comes close to just being flat out good.

A moment in chapter 1 that I think about a lot is Ai thinking about why she hasn't been reading any of her fan letters - because the last letter she got was her mom's lawyer telling her that Ayumi had gone missing after her release from custody, thus confirming for Ai that she had been abandoned to the system by her. Because of her association between those emotions and the act of reading a letter, she simply can't bring herself to open any of her fan letters because of the lingering anxiety.

Not only is this an entirely human and believable traumabrained anxiety kid fear for her to have but it's totally in line with Ai's flaw of avoidance and unwillingness to engage with or confront things that make her anxious or uncomfortable. It's also paid off wonderfully and in spades when she does finally confront that fear and is rewarded for it by an avalanche of love and support from her fans. It's one of the few moments in Ai's chapter where I think Spica really does well in conveying what a person like Ai gets out of being the 'oshi' in the oshi/fan relationship.

But this otherwise great moment is ruined by like… all that shit I said up there lmao. Spica is just laced through with this issue where moments that come so, so close to working and being really good are just marred by other issues in the text around it or trip themselves up in other ways. It's frustrating both because it comes so close to doing fresh and interesting things with the characters and because… I didn't want to dislike Spica! I was so, SO excited for it to come out and so willing to give it the BOTD even as summaries leaked and I was put off by the plot beats. But the more time I give to it in my brain and the more I try to engage with it in good faith, the more I come away frustrated and feeling like my time has been wasted.

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Critical Role: Bells Hells episode 49

That was such a good episode, I know that the characters were stressed being on board the sky ship, eating up time as the Apogee Solstice creeps ever forward but it was such a great moment for the characters to unwind a bit and talk. I always love their planning stuff despite how many people gripe about it on the chat and reddit, I love their thought process and the way they try to mitigate the damage they do.

I already love Laudna but IMO she was in fine form this episode, finally cracking Ashton open and getting that long awaited talk out of the way. I can see why the dynamic of Keyleth and Percy work so well in C1 and I wish its something they can show more in the animated series. *crossing fingers for season 3 of TLOVM!

It does feel like its a dynamic Taliesin and Marisha want to recreate in a different flavor with Ashton and Laudna, and they're doing so successfully. I love how Ashton and Laudna talk, and call each other's bullshit out but this episode especially, Laudna is showing off the wisdom she learned in 30 hard earned years she's lived.

Orym's also successfully reaching out to people with Dorian and I love how we're getting hints of things in EXU Prime that in their end, things are also very dicey. Opal getting dark???

I am so into that and Fearne's immediate concern is apparent. But also, Marisha knowing the details of the EXU Prime plot is so juicy!

The gang accomplished so much recruiting Ira, finally telling some more people in authority or approximate authority about how dire the situations are. Telling Pike, even though she can't do things, maybe? Possibly? Apparently, things on Tal'dorei are also very dicey, so Whitestone might have its own problems with the Ziggurat.

I'm going to heap more praise towards Laudna because of the interrogative sort of femme fatale honey pot play she did with Ira, getting Ira to talk more about it, tagged teamed with Fearne at the end.

Speaking of, Fearne is very much still ambivalent towards her parents, sure she's nice to them but as she told Nana Morri, her parents feel more like strangers than people related to her.

Also, Thank Goodness, the team's finally equipped but I need Dani to remind the cast that they still have residuum and the bracers of defense!

I feel like there's gonna be some Mad Max shenanigans that's going to happen on the Apogee Solstice, and its going to be heart pounding and epic and so great.

FCG also learned some things about himself, about how he is not alone and Devaxian also stressed how from this point on he is gifted with a chance to own his own future. A future of his own making. (A theme that will be repeated a lot!).

And then there's that moment when Imogen meets with Liliana again and, and, and I am VINDICATED!!! LILIANA IS A TRUE BELIEVER. She might even be Ludinus's real right hand and not Otohan which would be DELICIOUS.

I love that Liliana tried to get Imogen on her side and Imogen genuinely considered it because the vision she painted was tempting, for someone like Imogen who was tormented by her powers that's a siren call.

But of course, Fearne and Orym was around in the dream and they played it as silent observers instead of actively interacting with the dream space like how the others did it. It does feel like Fearne and Orym are still at heart, a unit. In a similar but different way to Laudna and Imogen. I love the talk they had about Imogen, about the possibility of Imogen turning because of her mother. Orym and Fearne will do what's necessary to stop things from happening and it's really fascinating how that will go.

Laura's face was interesting the whole time too.

And then, and then just when the group thinks its hopeless they get a possible help and distraction of the big army with Keyleth coming in, sounding exhausted and heart sick but still willing to help to put Ashari volunteers to help. I hope the group remembers to warn Keyleth about the antimagic that's going to happen.

I feel like Keyleth and the Air Ashari can act as distraction while the Bells Hells, as a strike team can go and take down the Malleus Key. Everyone in the cast looked happy at this development, except for Marisha who looked worried and had her Thinking Face on.

Near the end, Imogen talks to Orym and asked how he can go on after everyone he lost and they have a heartfelt talk. Orym tells Imogen that he believes in her but Imogen is not convinced but doesn't try to read his mind to know if this is true. Instead, at long last, after many episodes.

Imogen goes back to the room she shares with Laudna and finally talks to her. Whatever impetus it was: her fear, uncertainty, or the realization that she shares some similarities with her father and that's the reluctance to talk.

Laudna asks if Imogen is okay, and automatically, Imogen answers she is. Laudna gently tells Imogen she didn't need to lie to Laudna about 'being fine'. And so Imogen opens the conversation with admitting that she's been afraid of really talking to Laudna after she was resurrected, that she had something to tell Laudna.

Laudna asks Imogen what it is she wanted to say but Imogen hesitates and then says something about her fear and god I love how Laudna approached her talk with Imogen. I love that Laudna went about it with understanding because, of course, who more than Laudna hasn't thought what would have happened if life had been different.

Laudna had thirty years to think similar thoughts, to wish a different life than the one she had. She candidly told Ashton she made Patê so she won't lose her mind wandering alone.

But through everything Laudna lived through she is very cognizant too the reason she met Imogen and the other Bells Hells was because of who she is and became. And I think Marisha has her answer to Aabria's question from the 4 Sided Dive a long time ago -- there is a part of her that is a little grateful for Delilah or whatever patron that made her a Hollow One, that she has this powers now and ability to be spooky. Things she enjoys.

It's a little messed up and complicated.

I also love that while Laudna didn't hear Imogen's promise about how Laudna will always have a choice, Laudna unknowingly echoed back Imogen's words. Imogen has a choice. She will always have a choice and having the ability to choose is a power all its own. Its not something gods can take away.

Honestly, I love how Laudna is talking to Imogen from a place of understanding and I think more than anything, this helped Imogen solidify her grasp of why they're fighting. It's not just because its wrong and kill other people. All morally right reasons why they need to stop Ludinus and his group.

It's because every individual deserves a right to choose. And that love also means loving every part of a person, especially the weird parts of them.

Imogen might have lost her nerve to tell Laudna she loved her, loved her, romantic stylez and Laudna might slowly be waking into the part of herself that can access it. But its plain as day they love each other and I'm okay to wait on how long and slow this will cook, but also saying things like:

"I feel so comfortable and bonded with you. We transcend words in our relationship.

"You'll always have me."

"I'll always be there to support you whatever choice you make.

"You're my tether."

"That tether goes beyond this realm and this life."

C'MON. Those words are my ship Kryptonite! If I hadn't already shipped them, this would have definitely tip the scales! And I feel very well fed tonight!

God I love them. I love the Bells Hells.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I see you talking about ouat and it unlocked thoughts that have been neatly filed away for years so here I am, yelling them at you.

I assume at this point spoilers arent a problem anymore for you but you said you originally didn't watch past the frozen but a warning just in case.

I kept watching for quite a long time, but I quit after the whole thing with ruby and Dorothy because what? it just felt so incredibly forced and badly written? and I'd gotten so annoyed because before we'd already had the whole thing with aurora and mulan, which I was rooting for but okay, that didn't work out, too bad for mulan. then we get a perfect set up for ruby and mulan. and it's just. never mentioned again???? ruby comes back eventually but wtf happened to mulan? it annoyed me so fucking much let me tell you.

also I remember trying to write out family/relationship trees and stuff for ouat to see how weirdly convoluted everything got. was very impressed that it seemed they managed to avoid accidentally having incest or something in the show with everything that was going on there.

I have so many more things but this has already gotten way longer than intended. do you have a favourite part of the show? I'm assuming your favourite characters is either regina or emma?

Oh man all of that brings back memories. I didn't stick around long enough for Ruby and Dorothy, but I got the sense that they were doing it to try and counteract the "avoiding Swan Queen because homophobia" allegations.

(I actually don't think they WERE avoiding Swan Queen because of homophobia, necessarily. I think it was never their intent to begin with; they just happened to attract a sapphic audience who were deeply on the Enemies to Lovers train. I do think they may have indulged in a bit of queerbaiting, though, because of some Emma/Regina moments that happened after the writers definitely knew the ship existed. I think it was never going to be canon, but they handled it poorly once they realized that people saw it as an option.)

I stopped watching around Frozen for a couple of reasons:

On a personal level, I just got sick of seeing the characters I shipped with other people. That's not an objective problem; it's my opinion and not everyone will agree. But to me, Hook was a whiny insecure manchild and Robin had the personality of Clippy the MS Word paperclip, and damnit, I wanted Emma and Regina to kiss each other instead of them!

On a This Is Bad Storytelling level, I HATED how Frozen was integrated. Earlier stories had been a nice blend of traditional fairytales with Disney adaptation elements- Beauty and the Beast where Gaston and Chip are both kind of there but in subtler ways, for example, or Cinderella where her dress resembles the 1950s animated version but everything else is different. Frozen, though, was just...Frozen. The entire plot of the movie Frozen had happened before the characters entered the OUAT storyline, their costumes were identical to those in the movie, and while I've heard that they added some different backstory- it just wasn't the "Hans Christian Andersen story with subtle Disney touches" that I would have expected from earlier seasons.

Personally, I don't think the initial curse should have been broken in a season. I feel like that locked them into a pattern of having to continually invent a new Darkest Evilest Most Powerful Magic EVER!!!!! to top the previous season, and that took them to some really weird places (I heard they went to literal hell at one point?). The show had a cool premise and some interesting ideas- I loved how they managed to give individual kingdoms distinct cultures and even fashions. You can tell the "look" of Snow White's kingdom from Cinderella's and Cinderella's from Ariel's, etc.

Everyone who would watch an entire season of Abigail's Ancient Greek Steampunk-ish kingdom, raise your hands. Seriously, so cool.

But something went wrong, IMO around season 4. I'm not sure if the show had just outlived its original concept or had outside pressures pulling it in different directions or what. All I know is, as far as I'm concerned, the show ends when Emma and Henry leave Storybrooke in season 3A. Pity It Was Cancelled So Soon, etc.

(although OOC Matronly SnowTM would have been perfect for live slug reaction memes, so there's that)

[bbgliker-teehee]

thoughts on ep 8 (huge spoilers):

-the only thing i had a good laugh at was katie killjoy's "congratulations for charlie and her crew for not being fucking useless for once", and nifty killing adam.

- was alastor's use of the word "fuck" supposed to be intimidating?? it just... ruins his character imo. pilot al would never.

- i despise charlie in that ep ngl. you're the princess of hell, and yet you're completely useless? i swear if she actually stepped up, we could've finally had a female character achieve something, but no. charlie is a baby, and lucifer had to come save her. she had no growth at all. maybe finally tossing the "kind" act to save the people she loves, but no. even pentious dying didn't do anything to her in terms of useful enragement or power. vanny (god, i refuse to call her vaggie) had a whole arc on ep 7 about fighting for the people she loves and how the thought of losing that should empower her, and it did. but with charlie, she just stayed the same. fuck, even angel had more development even if it also doesn't make sense (he is still chained to val and not free, nothing has changed) you can definitely tell viv plays favorites. also, dazzle died and she just?? doesn't acknowledge it???? and "dad pls stop adam has had enough 🥺". he. literally. slaughterd. thousands. of. sinners. for. eternity. what. is. your. issue. you're all about "my people shouldn't be slaughtered" and then defend the guy who is directly responsible.

-its so madly disappointing that in H*B the other sins get over-complicated and large designs when enraged and charlie is just. tail & horns. i like lucifers a tiny bit more but even the literal ruler of hell has a weak "beast" form. also how can they have a whole hellborn species directly referencing baphomet (the candle demons) and then lucifer literally has the horns & the flame too???

- ofc lilith is bad. bet she made a deal to stay in paradise and away from adam.

- "hey one of your patrons died. lets build a new hotel"

- more V's in season 2? oh god. please do one tying right and kill val off. or put him in suffering for all eternity. best thing: angel takes over, kills him, and becomes an overlord replacing val. istg since angel is still stuck i wouldn't be surprised if they did something like episode 4 again.

- i desperately wanted to like something about this show, but its impossible...

sorry for the insane long rant...

The finale was just a big old nothing Burger to me honestly...

Hell, just to be nice I was gonna name something interesting that I actually liked and I couldn't name anything lol

[coffeesleep-ooc]

For your last anon, I have 2 things to say:

1. I think the lack of stress on the early days can be inferred to say something about SQQ, something about how SQQ is doesn’t find these moments as important because he’s planning/worrying/etc over the post-IAC events. Though I see it more as he saw those days as just an everyday thing, doting on LBH. He’s really sweet bc that’s his blorbo!! Ofc being nice to him is so easy even outside of the golden thighs part!! And!!! LBH, an easily impressionable teen is going to care a lot more about this when he’s not used to getting this kind of treatment- not just form SQQ- but from the peak. I mean even with NingNing, she’s seen to make the bullying worse- not on purpose though I still love her <3- so even the “kind” person he knows, kindness backfires.

2. I do think the “first person to show kindness” thing is so not true bc literally the first scene we see with ningning and lbh he’s snarky! And that may be after meeting the qi deviated SQQ but iirc it was immediately after so there’s no real interference. And the rest of the scene played out without SQQ doubting the plot events. Also OG!LBH had a harem of any women just because he wanted to prove himself, it’s a power fantasy not a romance. Imo if it was the “first person to shwo kindness” argument it kinda falls flat since ogLBH didn’t care about his wives the way a loving person would. He literally just married any woman to prove his power lol. (Though some could argue that’s because he reached a point of no return, but this isn’t my post to rant lol)

Hello again!!! It’s really nice to keep hearing your thoughts! And honestly i agree with most of what you say!

I believe that og!LBH may at some point thought to himself that he loved them all, but in the way you love shiny stuff that you collect and put on a shelf and sometimes play with? There is indeed power in keeping so many women and taking so many women from their houses, tribes, even husbands or sweethearts. I believe this is not bc LBH forces them to, but we all know that his presence attracts women according to the laws of the universe Airplane created. I believe these power fantasies are sometimes reflections of men that have been taught that having many women surrounding you and wanting you (to be a protector or just for your looks or body or whatever) makes you powerful and superior, this is also reflected on LBH having the heavenly sky pillar like SQQ calls it…bc we have been taught that erm…bigger makes you more proud or stuff like this.

I think I’m deviating to talking about toxic masculinity ksjdkskdjd but anyways! The point in sv is precisely that this absolute character of a man in SQQ’s eyes suddenly (not really suddenly though) turns around and becomes a person with wants and needs and what he wants is actually his old teacher. SQQ does not take this well lmao

But its also true that SQQ treats LBH’s disciple days like a calm period…i mean who wouldn’t! Imagine that you have transmigrated into the character with probably the worst death at the hands of your fav chara…i’d cry XD

I believe that dissociating a bit was normal in this scenario, but SQQ took it to the extreme, he thought that canon was written in stone, without taking into account that his presence and actions could make ripple changes to everyone including the protagonist, he thought his influence extended just to make his death less graphic, and maybe make the protagonist treat people a bit better, in short, he was too humble at first and too oblivious at the end (i mean pre IAC)

He also is trying to play his obsession with a character (first) and with his disciple (later) as something that is completely normal and cool. Cool as a cucumber. Jokes on you SY.

At least we recognize how into a character we are you silly man. Though i also understand him bc LBH post abyss is scary and powerful af even if inside he is still a crybaby wife that pines hard lmao

Brain just conjured the image of LBH meeting SQQ for the first time after the abyss while internally being: I JUST WANT TO MARRY SHIZUN IS THAT SO HARD QAQ

again, thanks for sending me your thoughts! Im happy to answer what i think or have observed from sv and fics~ brainrot for sv is too strong anyways

[parab0mb]

So, now that I finished the game (again) and the DLC chapters, I'm going to ramble about Crosscode C:

This game is really bizarre in the sense that, to be completely 100% honest, there isn't any particular part of the game that I think is all that mind-blowing. But all the individual elements (heh) of the game come together so well that the resulting product ends up being so much stronger and memorable than the sum of its parts.

Like, most indie games have one or several notable flaws or shortcomings (and understandably so) but this game is such an airtight experience that I can't help thinking about it and just being like "the how HECK is this game so GOOD?!"

...I am of course just getting started, I've got a wall of text of things I liked and thought her just "meh" under the 'keep reading' if you're interested (you've been warned (also spoilers obviously)):

The combat is definitely one of the strongest elements of the game and probably one of my personal favorites; its brutally difficult and sometimes feels like bullshit (and maybe there is one or two instances where it actually is just bullshit) but once you get the hang of it is really is flashy and satisfying and makes you feel badass to pull off. Plus its got the whole easy to learn, hard to master thing going on (like most of it is just charging SP and pressing the space bar, but knowing what moves to use and when def play into things).

I dunno how much of a hot take this is, but I really liked the puzzles in this game! I won't deny that they can sometimes drag on and interrupt the pacing of a temple, but personally I didn't mind. And just like the combat they're so well constructed that, while you'll spend minutes staring blankly reminded that you're a simple-minded creature and that the human mind wasn't made for this and you should be foraging for mushrooms in the woods and risking death over your next meal, they rarely feel impossible to solve without having to resort to a playthrough and are really satisfying to finally figure out (not to brag but there was exactly one puzzle in the game where I had to look up the solution and another where I did solve it on my own but then looked it up cause I thought I cheesed it by mistake). At first I wasn't a huge fan of how fast/precise you have to be for some puzzles on top of just finding out the solution in the first place, but after a while you kinda get used to it (and there is an option to slow things down which is really nice of the devs to include).

The story is... pretty alright. Yeah. I honestly don't have much to say about it. Bit of a slow pace, does the job, and has it's share of twists and emotional moments, but the narrative itself doesn't really do anything mind-blowing either so... you know. I definitely think it's the characters themselves that are memorable and prop up an otherwise average story. I mean every single one of them is just the hugest goober and even characters who initially seem forgettable or one-dimensional end up subverting your expectations and being super endearing/compelling/layered. Oh yeah, and Lea is a character that can only say like 10 words and SHE DESERVES THE WORLD I WOULD KILL FOR H-

Also, since the DLC is brand new to me I do wanna say that the ending was the tiniest bit underwhelming. Like you break into Vermillion Wasteland, fight a (surprisingly easy) boss, and that's... just it. Like 20 minutes top. I dunno, it feels like... something was missing. Still thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing and it is nice for the cast to get their happy ending (not quite as emotionally impactful as the base game's end imo, but still great and I'm glad they gave us more time with these dorks).

The platforming and navigating the overworld is tedious, which sucks a bit since that makes up a good chunk of the game. Idk man, having to scale different elevations of platforms is made frustrating by the fixed camera and the fact that the different "levels" of platforms aren't distinct from each other at all, so its easy to get duped by the perspective and jump to something you can't actually reach (yes you can use projectiles to check but it still isn't fun). Even without everything blending into each other visually, trying to find which obscure paths from four rooms ago will bring you to a chest just isn't all that enjoyable (some of the later maps like Sapphire Ridge were okay though, if only cause they started to have actually interesting puzzles to do). Basically they're just... there, between the actually fun stuff.

The trading system and farming for resources is confusing and kind of a chore. That's all I got.

Guess I'll touch on the art/music since I don't have too much to say about them. To be perfectly honest I'm not actually super crazy about the artstyle (blasphemy!), but I won't deny that the sprite-work and overall aesthetic are still super-well done, even if they aren't my personal taste (tl;dr I'm neutral on it). The soundtrack isn't something I'd put on my phone and listen to in the car, but like the art it's still well-made and perfectly suits the mood of/drives the emotional impact of the game, and there are still a handful of standout bangers (Lea's theme will live rent-free in my brain of course).

One last thing I'll say (that I mentioned before) is that as fun as this game is, it feels like a commitment to get through at times. Even when I first played it and had more free time, sometimes this game just felt "imposing" to pick back up after a break. Idk its hard to describe, but at least for me it was hard to play any other games alongside this (especially with my limited free time) which kinda sucked a bit.

To wrap things up, if I had to give the game an arbitrary number rating, I have to give Crosscode a 0/10 because its an indie game that doesn't have a fishing game (smh honestly how could they make such an obvious mistake 😔).

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[misfithive]

Thoughts on Wille's relationship with his parents?

Hmmm unfortunately its very relatable to me lmfaooo idk i think a lot of people can relate to feeling unseen by their parents.

I was screaming and cheering for him when he told them off the first time then i was like wow this is so fucked up that it had to get to this point for them to pay attention to him.

I’m also very resentful of him having to comfort his mom when she has done nothing but dismiss his feelings and shame him for his anxiety. It was so strange and fascinating to see wilhelm in that role of comforting her vs how he was only months prior. i think representative of how fast he had to “grow up” in a short period of time partially bc of erik’s death but also bc of her.

I feel their relationship pretty realistic honestly and maybe thats just me. But the passive father figure while the mom is the “bad guy” even tho he is complicit was so real- i know so many people with family dynamics like that. so I’m glad Wille spoke on that because i dont think it gets talked about enough.

I thought their little apology at the end was .. nice but a bit too little too late imo like the damage has been done and it’s gonna take more than that. but for sake im gonna imagine that they actually make an effort to respect him, get to know him, and listen to him from now on. The queen saying “let him go” was one of the few times i actually respected her so i’m gonna tell myself there is hope lol

i’m thankful for how their relationship was shown because it’s a reminder that parents can give their child “everything” but emotional neglect is very real and damaging. yeah things were hard for the queen and we can have some empathy for that and at the same time we also see how that impacted Wille and doesnt excuse how he’s been treated. So i think its another one of those things in the show where it forces you to hold this balance of “yes and” /like there are no simple answers and characterizations.

That was a long ramble to say that royal titles aside, i found their relationship to be relatable in a lot of ways and it makes me sad but i appreciate that it was shown in the way it was.

[cherry-dr0p]

I WISH TO RAMBLE!! IM NOT GONNA INCLUDE IMAGES BECAUSE I DONT WANNA BUT HERE WE GO

HUGE TWF4 SPOILERS

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

Im not gonna lie, the start kinda had me like "This is what I waited ages for?" But then when the animatronic testing came around, thats when my interest truly started to pick up.

First of all, WHY WOULD YOU TGINK THAT FACIAL RECOGNITION FOR ANIMATRONICS IS A GOOD IDEA??? GENUINELY DID NO ONE HAVE THE COMMON SEMSE TO GO "HM, THIS MAY END NOT GOOD". Like I kind of understand the appeal for it because they may want the kids to feel,, more connected to the animatronics?? I dunno. But like?? I can understand for that time period the desire to have the animatronics interact with the audience (Not saying its a good idea but at least I can understand with this one why they may think it is in my head), but cmon..

Then from what I remember, the sprites came. And Good god did they creep me out slightly when I first saw them, especially Edd and Molly. I dunno, there was something extra creepy in my eyes seeing kids' faces messed up like that. Crazy. I also screamed when I finally saw "Bon" because Ive been keeping up with the Twitter TWF community somewhat, which means I already technically knew about "Bon". It was pretty cool to have him finally introduced in the actual story himself. Also Charles and Susan talking about Felix's addiction and if they should tell Rosemary and Jack(?) is crazy.

Aaaahhh but then the scene with Jack came around. Was rooting for him ngl. I honestly thought he died at the well scene but I dont see any correlation to that quite yet,, mayhaps. Felix almost jumping did make me feel a tiny bit bad for him bit like,, still. Fuck you Felix. I still hate him and 100% think hes getting what hes deserving. He feels guilty? Good. He should.

I cant remember if the Susan scene comes after this or not but I erm uh,,, That was VERY well done!! It gave me chills how you could still hear her breathe. Genuinely. The blood as well and Rocket closing their eyes?? Crazy. The jittery animation drove me insane, it was such an amazing detail that made things far more uncomfortable.

I cant remember where abouts the other Felix scene came but,, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ROCKET. I DUNNO,, DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN TAKE IT WITH YOU?? PUT IT IN YOUR HOME OR RESTAURANT?? WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. I SWEAR, MY GUY HAS NEGATIVE BRAINCELLS... But I also think we all know why he's so attached,, him getting haunted by the kids is wild.

The last scene very much makes me think "Bon" is Jack. I unno, very much could be wrong but just the way he talks and is dressed makes me think he is. The fact that he knows so well of what hes talking about and the voice,, maybe the general face shape too. Me thinks its either Brian(Ive saw that theory floating around) or Jack, but Im more leaning towards Jack. It also freaked me out slightly the way Susan came on all deformed too, that was freaky. The voices of all the characters in this new afterlife were very VERY cool too. And the whole mask being given and "Bon" talking about making her "beautiful" too? That was cool. The scene with Edd and Molly debating whether to save Susan too filled my heart with a weird sort of awe. They have a great relationship as siblings together imo, I do very much love their dynamic.

It'd be cool to see the other two episodes for the finale which I think are coming out very soon!! Which is very exciting!! I 100% reccomend TWF4, it's phenomenal and the wait was 200% worth it in my eyes. You can definitely see the developers heart and soul being put into this project, which is very nice to see. In my eyes, you dont see it often. I dunno if I missed out a scene or two from my rant but overall? I adored watching this (Ive already told some of my friends to watch it >:3).

Rant over anyways, buh bye for now :3

[iamluzgar]

I finally finished FFXIV Dawntrail and I have many many thoughts about it. So, spoilers, and bare with me.

I had a lot of troubles to get into it at first, but I always feel that way for much of the extension I've played so it didn't change much. I pushed through, and I'm glad I did. I loved the theme of discovering new people and cultures to get to know them, and to like them. Which was an ongoing thing.

I liked Wuk Lamat a lot as a character. She's a bit immature, but she has a lot of potential, as you say to Gulool Ja. Loved having Thancred and Urianger against me for a change, especially in that dungeon. I got into it more and more, wanting Wuk Lamat to succeed because there were many hints showing she would do well (like for example with the bandits, I saw another post on tumblr mentioning it, but she directly thought about a system failiure problem, rather than thinking the people were bad). She adapted herself to the best of her ability to the culture she met with an open mind, even when she was afraid, unsure or disagreed with it. The VA did a fantastic job imo for her voice.

Of course the rest of the gang was here too and it was incredible. I loved how Erenville finally got the spotlight he so deserved. I wasn't a fan of Krile, but now I do like her and that's the power of FFXIV imo.

Anyway, the first part was great, and it was an important part because the WoL can finally indulge in some "selfish" actions like battling big dudes, deities, eating stuff, traveling, meeting people, doing the good old Azem and I think they'd be proud. The game keeps pushing you Emet, from what he said to you on the last expansion, and I liked that, it keeps him alive. I obviously missed Venat, Hythlodaeus, Elidibus and Emet a lot from this expansion, so it was nice to have some mentions of them. However, especially with the second part of the game, you realize how the shadow of the Ascien still fly above us and all of the reflections. Because I am persuaded they had a hand in the creation of electrope and the key.

The second part was even greater. It started weak with the Western like stuff (I'm not a fan of that and it felt like post-MSQ quests), but then it really starts: not only it brings back stakes (because... Well, I laughed when people made Valigarmanda a "big threat", considering we killed Despair a few months ago in the game), but it also is a pay off from the first part. You grew attached to Wuk Lamat, to Tuliyollal and its people. And now they're in danger.

Which brings us to New Alexandria, with its strange culture of pushing away death. The whole part with Alexandria felt like a metaphore from our own real world. We too, tend to push death away, put people dying away from society and from our eyes, forget them. It really resonated with my experience, especially considering I've been a volunteer in palliative care for a year. The whole thing of accepting death is a main topic in this second part of the game.

We brushed a bit too fast over the identity issues Zoraal Ja felt, I feel, sadly. I wish we could have had a bit more to humanize him.

Then the last zone... It truly touched my soul. We do the exact opposite thing that we did in Endwalker. In Endwalker, we started from nothing, we added music, colors, we reanimated species from death. In Dawntrail, we "turned off" people, we removed the colors and the songs from the places we were visiting. It was powerful to observe it, doing a different kind of walk, maybe even a harder one. Idk for WoL, but it was harder for me. Because we were still "killing" people, and we can only sympathize with Sphene's desires to let her people live more, whatever the cost of it. We hope and pray there might be another way for everybody to be happy.

It brings me back to palliative care in the real world. This world Sphene created, was a metaphor for therapeutic obstinacy and the artificial prolongation of life. At some point, there is nothing you can do, and you have to "pull the plug". You have to say good bye. To your own family, to your friends, to people you knew more or less. What's left of them then? All the memories you had with them, and that's it, and as the Yok Huy's philosophy, they kinda live through you that way.

Contrary to Meteion, our action of killing the people in that zone was not born of desperation of not being able to save them, but from an acknowledgement that this artificial prolongation of life is no longer sustainable, it will give more pain and will sacrifice ressources that could be given to people who still have a chance to continue living. At some point, when there is no chance to sustain a life, we need to make peace with the fact that it's over. That death is a part of life, and might always be. The next day always happen, with a beautiful sunset, new lives, new hopes, new stories, and new adventures, with new people. It's an end, but it's not the end.

As someone who lost my mom when I was a teenager, it was comforting to see those moms having so much hope, love and pride for their children. I could hear my own mom through them. We see a lot of moms, and we have to say good bye to a lot of them, and that was difficult. I both hate and like the fact that FFXIV has a tendency to kill moms or otherwise important female caretaking figures. :( They displayed a lot of different relationships between family members regarding their future death, and that was also interesting. Family, in the large sense of it, was a very big topic of this expansion.

On a gameplay part, I loved almost everything. They upped up the difficulty a notch, and it was perfect. I love how they made new ways of seeing AoE while also still making it clear it's an AoE. Very good ideas there. Loved the last two dungeons.

I was not a fan of the music this extension, but well nothing is perfect. I'm not a fan of FFIX and obviously a lot was taken from it.

Hope that didn't bore you out!

TL;DR Incredible writing as usual.