#its an interesting thing. sometimes i wish i didnt care like i do. but i know that for the right people- it wont feel like a curse anymore

[wormtiddies]

despite all the pain and heartbreak ive been through, i dont think i could ever stop loving. love is so engrained inside of me, i have too much. i cant not love, thats not who i am. even if im hurt again and again, i cant stop loving. and maybe theres some sort of unfortunate ironic flaw with that, that loving will cause me the most pain in life. and even when it causes me more pain than i deserve, i still have love to give. to strangers, to my dear friends and family, to my future partner. i wont stop trying, i wont stop loving.

[giddybox]

do you ever just get tired of everything around you

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

[class-1b-bull]

What do you think the class 1b kids think of their own quirks?

This was actually kinda fun to write :>

Not proof read we die like men.

Awase -

He honestly really likes his quirk. I like to think awase grew up around welders so when he got his quirk as a kid, his family was ecstatic <3 he still thinks back to his parents reaction to him getting his quirk today.

Sen -

Hes kinda neutral about it. Thats all I got for his bitchass (i love him sm but my brain is drawing a blank lmaoo)

Kamakiri -

He says he doesn't care for it but he really likes his quirk. The blades being able to come out of any part of his body + how they can change in shape makes his quirk really versatile.

Kuroiro -

He loves his quirk. Its dark and edgy just like him and he can make so many references to the darkness because of it. Lmaoo

Kendo -

When she was a kid she didnt really like her quirk, but as she grew older she learned to like it more and now she really has a lot of fun with it.

Kodai -

Shes pretty neutral about her quirk. Other people like how well it works with others but at the same time her quirk isnt that versatile.

Komori -

She likes her quirk. She does wish it was a little more versatile tho because theres only so much you can do with growning mushrooms on people. (She still powerful asf tho)

Shiozaki -

She really likes her quirk. It represents a good balance between her interests and her religion. (Gardening + the thorn crown jesus wore)

Shishida -

Hes pretty neutral about it. He likes how it can be used in battle but overall he doesnt really have an opinion.

Shoda -

He does kinda wish he was able to do more on his own but overall he does like how helpful he can be for others. Hes more on the positive side about his quirk overall <3

Pony -

She really loves her quirk but sometimes she forgets that she has giant ass horns on her head and they get caught on something and send her reeling backwards. (Only when that happens does she hate her quirk but she forgets about it in like 5 minutes or so)

Tsubaraba -

When he was a little kid I think he liked it a lot less because he didnt have as much lung compasity (idk how to spell it lol) but now that hes trained for it he can do a lot more with it. :)

Tetsutetsu -

He has always loved his quirk. Not only does it fit his personality really well but its also really fun for him to use.

Tokage -

She really likes her quirk, it comes with a lot of room for pranking her friends and things like that.

Manga -

He really likes it. When he was in middle school I feel like he got in trouble for using his quirk a lot because he would show it off to little kids to watch their faces light up at how cool it is. (His dream is to make all the kids in the world to smile btw, cannon fact) :)

Honenuki -

He was probably teased for the way he looked when he was a kid (as most people with mutations probably were) but at the same time he was one of the most popular kids in middle school so hes kinda 50/50 about his quirk and its mutation. Overall tho he has a more positive leaning opinion of it.

Bondo -

He was teased for the way he looked as a kid probably (most ppl with mutations were) and it didnt help that he wasn't outgoing and popular but over time he grew to like his quirk. <3

Monoma -

He actually doesn't like his quirk very much, when he was little he liked it but after all the bullying he went through in school he grew to hate it. (He is starting to like it again because of class b)

Reiko -

She adores her quirk. She stays calm and neutral when talking to other people about it bus she secretly really likes showing her quirk off. (Bonus points for fitting her personality)

Rin -

He really likes his quirk and how it ties in with his culture quite a bit but he dislikes how he cant really fight in the cold. Its a dangerous aspect of his quirk but theres nothing he can do.

[problematicfactive]

im a factive of someone who our host cares about deeply but at the same time wishes it didnt. im a factive of someone who doesnt care about us at all anymore. im a factive of a girl who has been nothing but awful to my host.

im a factive of someone who has caused so much pain for our host and sometimes i feel bad but i didnt do it

its not my fault

and its going to talk a bit for our host to accept that but when he does im ready to be friends. i want to be friends. i just dont know how to act towards my host other than hating him because thats how my source treats him. but im learning.

im learning that i can be my own person and i dont have to be the same as my source and i dont have to have the same opinions of people as my source.

and ill never replace my source for the host, it'll never care about me the same way it cares about her, but i can try and help. and i dont have to compound on the hatred my source throws his way.

im learning that as i go and sometimes its hard. most times its hard to imagine my host without jumping out into disgust. but im learning.

-leah

You, as a person, Leah, you are a wonderful person. I can tell based entirely in the amount of insight you're willing to put into yourself. Only people who are good people can put that kind of insight in themselves.

I'm really sorry that your source has turned into a point of pain within your system. No one deserves that. Relationships (weather romantic, platonic, familial etc) hurt badly when they break, especially on a bad note, and I can only imagine that your position in this instance makes the situation a trillion times harder for you.

But you're already on the first step to making things easier for yourself. You're able to recognize that you aren't your source and that is A LOT.

To be able to separate yourself. To be able to write out and believe the words "I didn't do it. It's not my fault" to understand you dint have to be a 1 to 1 of your source. That's the starting point. You're looking at freedom.

Start slow on recognizing yourself. Find things you like. Are they things your source likes? If not, wonderful, and if so, that's also wonderful! Recognize that your interests are your own, and jut because you do or dont share som with source doesn't make you any more or less of your source than the amount you feel.

It will he hard to be able to build a good, trusting relationship with you host. Especially because of your circumstances.

But I know you can do it.

Feel free to message me if ever you need a vent.

My boyfriend and I are both rooting for you.

[spookfished]

sept+ oct media roundup

hi again :3 this month in september i was really busy with school so busy that i didnt make a media post for a whole month!!!! lol and also ive been getting back into FINAL FANTASY XIV: ENDWALKER grind lmfaooo so i wasnt really on that #mediagrind as much as i could be… but i still have some things to talk about :3 by sakshis (@.lilquill) suggestion, im also talking a bit about the music ive been listening to! this is also being crossposted onto my extremely barebones neocities

books/comics:

paladins strength by t kingfisher: m/m romance about a coroner and another former paladin! still psrt of the saint of steel series. i thought it was, once again really charming and grounded! also it involves a death room and i love those. the authors idea of 'these two characters are hiding something from each other' feels a little bit more contrived this time on pipers end, but i still had fun :3

home comforts: the art and science of keeping house by cheryl mendelson: nonfiction instructional manual on how to do various homemaking activities: cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. ok ngl i got this book bc a book i was reading about 27/7 service..? was like "if you have never cared about housekeeping before this ones pretty useful." bc of various life and medical issues, the house i grew up in never really cared much about this kind of thing, except for cooking and self sufficiency. home comfort was written by a full time lawyer who was raised w the idea that she would grow up to be a stay at home wife, which i think is pretty interesting! it manages not to fall into tradwife ideas (imo?) by reframing these tasks as like.. a cyclical, rhythmic kind of self care that serve to make your home feel more safe and cozy. kind of like the marie kondo idea that folding all your clothes by hand puts like intent into your them; not practical for everybody, but sometimes a nice idea! also has a bunch of practical stuff, much of which is not particularly useful if you live in a college dorm. this book made me make my bed more often lol. i wish it had an updated section about tech (especially cord management)

the maid by nita prose (dnf): thriller about a (strongly autistic coded) maid who gets caught up in a murder at her hotel. i dont know i feel like i could have powered through this, but the way that the maids autism, and the way she interprets situations vs how the audience interprets situations is either played for pathos or laughs (its sometimes hard to tell which) rubbed me the wrong way. her life just… sucks? so bad? i feel like other people reading it may find some validating representation, and the voice is certainly interesting and brisk.

lolita by nabokov: doesnt really need much of an introduction. not going to lie, i read this bc i like nabokov but also to silently feel superior to all of the discourse girlies on tumblr. i did enjoy it though! in a way, at least? it's definitely a novel that can only be taken in small bites. i feel like a lot of the wordplay went over my head, and i'm not sure how much of that is due to me not knowing french and how much of it is due to the english language evolving so much after publication (and how much of it is just my own lack of knowledge. close reading is not really one of my strongest suits) . i was relieved to find that people call it funny, because it honestly was at some points. its really interesting when people can balance revulsion and humor and sick fascination, but that ratio is a pretty personal thing

she who became the sun by shelley parker chan: a retelling of the rebellion against the yuan dynasty, except the future ming emperor is a woman instead; part 1 of a duology. i really liked it! i liked the idea of like ummm sort of the two genders being Agency and No Agency. i thought baoxiang was pretty great love a fruity queerbaiting bureaucrat. thought it was pretty interesting that he continually tried to assert the importance of his own work and also worked really hard despite the fact that approval was obvioiusly never going to happen--so was it really that kind of futile endeavor, or for other ends….?! ooh so mystrious very excited to see him feature more in the second book. (spoilers for the book) some scenes that especially stood out were actually with some of the side characters! such as the mayors wife :3 the climactic scene with ouyang and esen was very delicious

he who drowned the world by shelley parker chan: sequel to she who became the sun! zhu yuanzhang has clawed her way up to her very own army and the yuans power has been destabilized, but everyone else is still racing for the crown. dude. i liked this book so freaking much. sooooo freaking cool it expands on a lot of the ideas and i also liked the development of the yingzi/yuanzhang relationship. additionally it managed to display the kind of like. trans horniness that (DISCLAIMER: I DONT FUCK) i dont really see in a lot of published books.. pretty cool! reminded me of when i went to a burlesque show and saw a woman (medical horror cwwww?) stick a needle through her hand lol. fantastically well balanced cast. do you think about the EROTICISM OF VIOLENCE? and GENDER ROLES? please read this book it made me so stressed. i really believe that at the end of the book baoxiang becomes a stay at home prisoner war

an unkindness of ghosts by rivers solomon: scifi about "exploring the conjunction between structural racism and generation ships" where medic aster uncovers a grand conspiracy! i thought the world building was reallyyy fun ship that has Been Voyaging Forever is an old and good trope, and this book goes hey but class and race will still exist though. to the point of like um recreating plantation dynamics i think? very anti utopian in a way i enjoyed. the mix of advanced scifi stuff and also having no resources was interesting :3 i liked giselle and theo a lot, and pretty much all the supporting (+sympathetic) characters besides aster? who took a lot longer for me to warm up to--shes definitely given a lot of nuance and life, but i think overly literal autistic/coded characters are a bit cringe..? im sure it meant a lot to someone (esp having a black autistic char?) just not me personally. oh but i really enjoyed the difference in voice between all the povs they were really distinct and fun. also aster and giselles rship! i think it would have been nice to have more intense moments, but thats also a personal preference for dramatics kind of thing--a lot gets glossed over in a 'past trauma' kind of way.. neil is right that i mostly have been reading books that blast you though lol. i really liked the scene at the end though like wow.. returning to the earth.. that was really good honestly. the stuff about archives and memory keeping was interesting --there was definitely like a thread through but i wouldn't have caught it w/out leo mentioning it. something about multiple interpretations..? something about history being passed from person to person rather than through physical means….?? its a strong debut i think :3 felt kinda movielike in an interesting way. rlly wish theyd went into The Gender more although i guess it mostly wasnt about that yeah and i wish the ending had more to do w like. her doctor stuff lmfao it was a little disconnected

video games:

13 sentinels: 13 teens intertwined stories come together in a story about love, mechs, and every scifi trope in the universe. also, the past and the future! the background art is sooo gorgeous i think my usual attention span for visual novels was increased significantly just by being able to walk around while dialogue was playing… if you have a low tolerance for heterosexual "pair the spares" type behavior, this may not be for you--i really liked some of the romances though, like with fuyusaka and sekigahara.. i liked the themes of like. idk you can try to relive the past, but all itll do is stall you from moving forward--we can examine past mistakes but we cant ever get a 'redo.' alsooo people were haters about the battle segments but i played it all on hard and really enjoyed it. tbh anyways would recommend!

boyfriend dungeon: dungeon crawler where you can date your weapons. well i 100%d this (except for the whip) but for all of the gameplay bits i was mostly thinking "man i wish i was playing hades". probably not a fair comparison, but it does lack some polish in that department, and overall. all the same, i enjoyed this game! it has a nice soundtrack and art, and i thought some of the love interests were pretty charming :3 also appreciated the flexibility in love routes. it really got a bad rap from the stalker plot huh…pretty solid game and worth playing if the initial concept grabs you. i did borrow neils copy though

hades: after beating bf dungeon i immediately redownloaded hades lmfao. sooo good theres not a lot to say about it. still havent managed to beat the final boss even after all this time bc im too stubborn to turn on godmode >:T

dave the diver: casual sort of dungeon crawler, except instead of killling monsters you catch fish for your sushi restaurant, which you also run. dave the diver stacks on a bunch of mechanics in a way thats… surprisingly manageable? and really charming honestly. im having a lot of fun with it :3 a few awkward boss fights that werent really that fun (and stealth segments..my enemy) havent gotten in the way of like all the rest of it i loooove exploring the ocean and finding new ways to get fish and all of the gorgeous pixel art and also the FALL GUYS GUY is doing the OST. this game is blowing up a little bit rn but honestly for good reason. such a good gameplay loop that also adds in variety over time

manga:

hirayasumi: slice of life about a part-timer working in tokyo who inherits an old womans house--its all about slowing down and enjoying the pace of life--and also how hard that actually is. dude hirayasumi is sooo fucking good im always trying to get people to read this manga i think its adorable and also beautiful and bittersweet. its about growing out of your 20s and the friends around you who are moving up or moving on or even just stuck in place. super awesome

ao no flag: romance coming of age w lgbt themes. a timid high school girl is trying to work up the courage to confess to her crush, and enlists the help of her crush's childhood friend to do it. the mixed-up shenanigans of adolescence ensue. man you know i really love the art for this manga (faces and expressions! so good!) and i think all the characters are really compelling! the trio just have such a cute dynamic and like all of the waffling over feelings honestly feels real. the ending was really disappointing though honestly. still worth a read imo but prepare to be mad. ok here is my longer rant about it (spoilers) ughhh ok its like. initially i thought masumi getting a boyfriend was SO fucking disappointing. especially given that she kinda got the least focus out of the main 4? some reddit comments were like "maybe her boyfriend is trans" but i think that something like that would be……….really complicated honestly? and something that id really want to have explored more outside of just a singular epilogue chapter? and i dont think the implications were that strong there. and given that it would have been good to see more indications that they were actually happy together bc its like the first thing you think when you see her is "oh, she gave up" WHICH IS SO FUCKING DEPRESSING AUGH and she never even confessed to futaba :| futaba and taichi breaking up makes a lot of sense and im like, whatever not really going to object to that esp bc the whole theme is like youthful love. but then on the SAME SIDE OF THE COIN its like it makes no sense for taichi and touma to get together either then!!!!!!!!!!!!! like what a copout. it kinda breaks the whole original premise. AND it feels like its just (whats that word thats like playing to? favoring?) fujos reading the comic and all those ppl are like the girl should DIE for getting in the way of my two gayboys. and aslo the convo with kensuke and the other girls and especially that other guy really felt like i was reading a reddit thread. or like some of the most frustrating conversations that ive had and overheard. like hmm i sort of get what it was trying to say. and i agree that peoples frustration and idea of whats 'right' usually isnt the best rhetoric.. and above all sometimes youre not focusing on your ideas of correctness Or proper rhetoric but having an honest and open communication? but its likeeee well i kinda dont care? sorry

nana: coming of ageish? nana, a flighty girl who's quick to fall in love, and nana, a tough rocker trying to make it big in the city, coincidentally become roommates, and become fast friends despite their disparate lives/personalities. this one is one of the classics! i still havent finished it yet (its also unfinished) but idk i really like it. always fond of flop women like hachi lmfao. the older art style did take a bit to get used to for me

i want to hold aono kun so bad i could die: horror manga about a high school girl who gets her first boyfriend--who then dies only a couple days afterwards. yuki kariya is willing to do anything to make sure aono stays with her, even letting her possess her body. but should the dead and the living really be so closely intertwined? ok the art in the first couple volumes may be a little offputting but this is REALLY good ok. and it has some really chilling panels that i love a lot. aono kun begins with the pretty classic "awkward loner girl x popular boy", but it quickly starts getting into ideas about like…. purity and "the filthiness of desire" and stuff like that. recently has been getting more into why the characters are the way they are? in some uh, really chilling and realistic depictions of abuse within a family. check the cws but mr chainsaw man recommended this manga so you should read it too.

movies/tv:

skibidi toilet: humor/action webseries?? ok so its about this war between the skibidis and the cameraheads, which escalates in technology over time as the cameraheads bring in other objecthead allies and the skibidis grow stronger. me and neil and alena watched all compiled 40 minutes of this in a straight shot, which was kind of like frying our brains in a microwave. kind of like those stickfight videos for a cocomelon generation, the relentless pacing will suck you in kinda like…. a skibidi toilet…. really well made imo but probably only worth watching if you really like cool fights and/or gmod

the shining: prestige? slash? horror a father and his family take care of a hotel only to find out things are FUCKED.. i really didnt know what this was about besides the here's johnny scene before i watched it :3 pretty crazy it really just is a good movie. sucks that the filming was so terrible though

fight club: ok so to me this movie is about colelctive action and gay people. like they had so many people mobilized for radical action and whatever and all they did was blow up a bank. LAME! anyways i really liked it a lot despite the everything. ive been entering my film bro era with neil i hope we watch pulp fiction next <3

music:

this is a couple albums ive been listening to over the past couple months!

THE CLOD(瓦合) by no party for cao dong: taiwanese post rock. im a big fan of this band so i listened to a bunch of the album tracks as they released!! like the first album, each track flows together into a coherent whole, and it retains the upbeat despondency from the servile. however, it feels like theyve also been more willing to branch out musically! especially with tracks like damn and daydream. overall, the album has a grittier, grungier feeling as well. also i know more chinese so i can sing along a bit now :3 (also, their lyric translations are always so good?) a few highlight tracks for me are lie (床) and the human the hole and the mountain. (人洞山).

CRAWLER by idles: british "crankwave", whatever that means. idles is also a band that i really like :3 sometimes i try and listen to other things in its genre and im like well…. this isnt idles though… sorry.. i like things that are the same forever…. i listen to this music a lot when im cleaning haha. it has such a feeling of overwhelm and tearing through rock bottom thats very satisfying! crawling hurts but it works for me and so on. with crawler and the clod both, every time i listen i have a couple favorite new tracks but rn i like the end and progress.

UMURANGI GENERATION OST primarily by adolf nomura: jungle music for a photography-based game (umurangi means "red sky" in te reo). i mostly end up listening to the tutorial + mauao view tracks. well….. i have a huge jungle music bias. unfortunately. but i think a lot of this music really captures the sort of "flow" feeling that you get when working on something creative! this game has an incredible sense of atmosphere i would really recommend checking it out. highlight tracks are swears in ps1 and BEAT THE POLICE

SCALES by king isis: indie pop. i saw them perform live at a concert this august!! so freaking cool :3 to me has all of the self indulgent sadness and rich vocals of an early mitski track but ALSO is an ''indie gem''' (this is their debut album). songs are fun to sing along to :3 my favorite songs from her are 4 leaf clover and im fine thx for asking! but apparently their new mv has sexy vampires in it so maybe go check it out?

as always if you read (or skimmed) to the end, thanks :3

[vulpiximisa]

kono oto tomare part 1

i dont have strong feelings about the first part of Kono Oto Tomare but i'll just note the things

i can't stop comparing it to chihayafuru, so that might get brought up alot 😅

i was really rooting for takezo and chika, and they really do have good interactions and a good bond but i guess as for ship i was expecting (hoping for) more. maybe because takezo isn't an entire wimp (i guess i was expecting sakamichi yowapeda) and is also a year older than most of the club that i dont think they'll ever be as tight as i would like.

one of my least favorite things that happen in "sports” series is when they need a large cast so they bring in a group (usually 3 or more) and then they never really develope the group as individuals. So im talking about kota, saneyasu and michitaka. They do get individual lines here and there but aside from Kota who got a few stand out moments, they generally are always just “the gang that came with chika”. Eventually they are part of the group but i wish they’d spread out a little more, give them something different.

I guess i was also projecting because i wanted to like kurusu so much, i love gyaru characters in settings they shouldn’t be in and i was hoping for something like hanano in chihayafuru, but kurusu’s character/story just really felt like they added a girl just to have another girl in the group. Unfortunately it looks like shes also there to be takezo’s love interest, but i'm not huge on. 

If it wasn't already obvious by my tastes, im hard passing on chika/houzuki. Not because they are the ship that is being pushed on me, i dont mind the main het ship sometimes (kyo/tohru), but because i guess i dont like their dynamic. If its the rough ice queen type girl, i personally would prefer her to be with someone on the cheery side (could be another girlfriend, i was rooting for kota/houzuki when he glomped her that time). Its because theyre the bickering type too, the exact type of ship i dislike. 

I  dont dislike houzuki tho. Shes a fine character and necessary in their group. I want to say theyre a good trio but i think that takezo’s kind of lacking sometimes. Maybe id like to see more houzuki and takezo interactions, maybe i though takezo’s trauma was rather weak. 

Chika (i dont want to say unfortunately because its not a bad thing) steals most of the show, and i actually really love is story with is grandfather. The amount of times i cried 😭

I am also pretty interested in Takinami. It’s not the first time seeing this kind of character, and im lowkey mad i spoiled myself by looking at his profile on MAL before i got his backstory, but i love seeing characters who lost their passion/never had one/became apathetic but then found it (again), and found something to love and care about. Also his interactions with takezo

Im not going to be a stickler for animation because you can see them trying to get away with not actually animating the koto playing until ep13. I mean i wouldn’t know anything, but i think ep13 was really impressive so im not going to complain. 

Anyway, i only finished the first part, so i’m looking forward to the rest of it, considering we didnt even get the competition results yet.

[butchpeabody]

Zetto and/or Kizuna for the character ask?

once again for this...i shall take more if anyone wants to send

under the a cut once again!

ZETTO:

favorite thing about them: when i was a kid the kirb/zetto twist did genuinely make me insane. in a good way. i think hes a really fascinating character in his like...Mentality Switches between personas yk. guy whos a jerk in a funny way vs guy who just actually sucks

least favorite thing about them: honestly i wish it was just made more clear during like episode zero or smth what his stance in sofdti as like....a living thang was? not that it would matter much in the grand scheme of his development but idk kizuna said some SHIT yk

favorite line: id probably say like...a lot of stuff from the nylocke battle in the gemini tournament. absolute lowest point of that guy its really interesting. (obligatory MY ARM AAAAAGHHHHH mention purely because holy shit he was screaming)

brotp: HIM AND GAMESOFT oh my godd them together. aughh. the only two guys who Know the guys who can talk abt shit and he can be sad. solace in understanding and so on

otp: i know its basic but like....alphazet mannn. everything abt the two of them was PAINFULLY gay and its honestly kind of funny kirb (the guy not the character) didnt notice. runner up is him and nylocke becahse i just think they are silly and funny

notp: i dont really have anyone with him that i actively LOATHE but i think its probbably him and kizuna. putting my personal gay zetto hc aside i think theyd both be wayy too codependent unless they got like. therapy. i know a lot of what ive been saying so far makes it sound like i hate kizuna but i dont i PROMISE

random headcanon: i feel like postseries hed find a way to set gs up with a virtual machine desktop of her own so her knowledge of the world can extend beyond what she knows in tome. they spend time bonding over computer science n junk :)

unpopular opinion: im honestly never good at this part but as an adult with better drawing skills now...i actually like drawing his hair

song i associate with them: zetto was never someone i had much of a playlist for back in the day so i had to scrounge a bit but i think i found something satisfactory

favorite picture of them:

KIZUNA:

favorite thing about them: REALLY underrated secondary antagonist, interesting moral code, she has insane girlie guilt over her actions that doesnt get explored enough.....and shes a kitty cat :)

least favorite thing about them: her arc in the original series was like...a little inconclusive? i wish she couldve come to terms with sofdtis sentience and whatnot. the trajectory of a2z is changing her in a way im really liking so far though! im excited to see where she goes

favorite line: that whole rant at the tail end of the series where shes just like. a bunch of people she cared about almost died and she was freaking the fuck out. it hurts....i love her she needs THERAPYY

brotp: she doesnt get to interact with too many characters during the series but in my perfect world i think shed be chill with demonking. dont question my madness i know im right

otp: re the previous answer she doesnt interact with a lot of characters, on this note Especially im hesitant to give a definitive answer but i think if her parallels with flamey were more explored...in my perfect world.........theyd work so spicily

notp: same as zetto but also tacking gs onto this. less out of kizunas ability to see her as a person currently and more that in the future if/when she does end up coming around i do feel like gs would still be hurt by it. theyd be buddies tho:)

random headcanon: with the rpg version of tigerlily i sometimes wish that series kizuna had like...a secret lil roleplay presence. not necessarily on tome itself but she has to cool of SOMEHOW right. she made an anime catgirl avatar i KNOW she has thoughts about that shit

unpopular opinion about them: kizuna is probably the most divisive character ive done for this so far...all i can really say is like...i joke about supporting womens wrongs and stuff but i think introspectively she does have a lot of potential as a character that we dont see a lot of because most of the scenes with her are from zettos perspective. AGAIN tho im reallly liking where a2z is taking her so far i hope i get more scraps

song i associate with them: much like zetto she wasnt someone i had playlists for back in the day however unlike zetto i have the PERFECT one for her. nonexistent meet-cute (idlyam) by vylet pony.... feeling it

favorite picture of them:

[goatpaste]

in what ways would you improve part 5?

ykno everyone ask me that and i never really have a clear awnser for it

i dont love p5 its not my favirote, but i think its such simple things as like it might not be a part that suits my taste. it also have a lot of characters i really could be bothered to care for one way or the other. like i love bruno a lot i think hes sooo well written, and trish is great... i think mista and naracia are fun.. mm.. i dont really think i care much for any other characters? in that part? shrug

but also like pacing and not having character who just flow with the narrative. i know they all have their excuses as to why but everything works its way to where its supposes to go so quick and easy with no hiccups or anything. nothing feels suprising or interesting, just feels like its happening. which i guess is the theme of destiny at play

but the only time i was engaged witha character ard was probably Bruno. i Really love trish but she does NOT get enough time to shine she really doesn't

and im not a fugo hater im just a fugo neutral, i did REALLY like araki's choice to stick to fugo's character in that moment and have him not go with.

but beside the pacing and everything just feeling like an inevitable downer for all of p5

i think im just not that into a lot of characters and i dont know if thats something that can be 'fixed' lol like their characters arnt bad, i just dont care for them. except Giorno. i think Giorno was written bad. i think Giorno has soooo much potential to be a very fun character, but araki blew it imo

i think! trish and giorno shoulda been one role. Because giorno and trish both have fun neat personalities that we dont get to actually explore and enjoy because araki kinda side lined them. even Giorno in his own part. Like Giorno gets more screentime at least... but Trish kinda takes what Giorno coulda been with the complexities of the history of his father and does it actually good. I just think Giorno/Trish fill out similar roles but trish is more enjoyable at filling out the role but gets less screentime than giorno who already feels like a tourist in his own part. idk! i think i just wish Trish played a bigger part and was the one who got to kill her dad...

also id change that fucking last batch of story with them following requiem for wht felt like a million episodes, that the fuck was that...

i just

found P5 sooo slow and boring at times and very unengaging. i often forgot Giorno was there and literally couldn't remember his name until a lil over halfway through watching p5. Depite growing up in the area, he acts like he knows fucking nothing and is a tourist rather than a long term citizen. Barely any on the team pays much attention to him and no one feels like their friends despite establishing they have been together for years and care about each other. and im not talking about the silly bullying each other like pour soda on naracia speakers. It just feels like their all their own separate guys who sometimes remember they care about each other, or remember Giorno is there.

Giorno, son of Dio is just some guy lol. normalist man

also arakis whole statement on like 'i didnt want dio being giornos dad to be a big deal' like.. you make dio a big deal in every part... you couldnt even talk about the complexities in moralism in giornos character with who his father is/who his family is/who he is

idk

im like, p5 had some stuff, but it just feels like araki worked on it aimlessly for YEARS and just both was dragging it on and wanted to end it so fast and get it over with. so idk what to do with that part i dont

its kinda locked in a state of a bit wonky

[zestyjesty]

The Barbarian keeps rolling around my brain so I have many many thoughts under the cut

1. I saw someone talk about the house itself having layers and yes absolutely, the house and the different men we meet represent rape culture in a very literal sense. We start at the top of the iceberg in the house with Keith's "i wont take no for an answer" and not believing Tess about the basement because women who are upset just arent to be believed, and then AJs and then Frank in escalating worseness as we delve deeper into the house.

2. On the Mother ultimately being a victim but still being the monster who Tess has to kill, I actually think it does a lot about how you are raised and how that shapes what you think is normal and the harm you do. Again we start with Keith who is slightly traditional and says its "how i was raised", then we have AJ at the bar with a very old friend and went he tells him he had to "persuade" this girl and "yeah she said no at the start but like totally not by the end you know" his friend agrees and doesn't think thats rape. Basically, if you dont do the extra work to unlearn what youve been brought up to think is normal, you will absolutely inflict harm and be part of rape culture because thats how society currently is. (Clearly we dont hear about frank but if hes the type for 70s rapist/serial killer firstly is a very sexist society and secondly hes parents are 90% likely to be abusive, that combo is what made most serial killers from the 60s-80s). And the thing is despite being raised that way despite thinking it was normal AJ still deserves to be punished for harming that woman because he still did harm. And the mother doesnt know any better but she will still hurt Tess if Tess let her.

3. The final scene where Tess doesnt let her empathy stop her from thinking about herself for once is very important! Over and over she has thought about other people and got herself kidnapped and hurt for it over and over. So at the end when we still the Mothers incredibly human eyes for the very first time up close, and seeing how she cares, and its meant to pull on your heart strings, and Tess says I dont care what you want because Im going to think about me first. Clearly theres a gender gap not addressed (god i wished she got to kill AJ) but it works if we think of the Mother as the concept of distilled rape culture rather than a real person

4. I loved seeing the mechanics of the script happening in the real time. The story of the director writing himself into a corner 30 pages in and thats why the mother shows up in her first scene (i think thats why Frank shoots himself, like straight up wrote himself into another corner and goes fuck it Frank shoots himself).

5. I saw someone else didnt like the shift to AJs storyline but i really liked it, most horror movies have a hard time with pacing so they either start reallyyyyy slowly (peele) or just try to keep the suspense and terror up the whole time and theres always a flat bit in the middle and you get desensitised to it all and stop caring (halloween.....all of them). So i loved this take of doing it all again but from a completely opposite POV, normally they wouldve run the storylines concurrently so having it 1 and then 2 was just really interesting and pretty bold

6. I cannot tell you how many horror movies ive seen where the closing shot is a wide shot of the house/maze/town whatever of the final girl, and its all lit up with red/blue cop lights. Like thats normally when the film ends, when the cops show up we roll credits. So to have just the most unhelpful, apathetic, fucking rude cops cops instead was cool. I didnt even find them to be over the top (sometimes movies when theyre trying to do a 'cops suck' segment make them caricatures of villainy or bafoonery rather than making then real), but to have their very casual but unflinching demand of respect to themselves from everyone above all else, not seeing a filthy terrified woman with no possesions at all as anything unusual but a broken window thats for sure a crime. Yeah that was scary real, really well done.

7. It felt very classic horror with enough modern twists to keep it grounded in this year without being overbearing about it. Like when horror films are trying a bit too hard with that its just very sighhhhh (like in halloween 2018 they had a teen boy say out loud "i like you that means im gonna get some right??" Like no one talks like that whereas AJs version of events sounds like something a real person would say). And the house with a monster in its walls has absolutely been done before and yet watching this felt fresh bc it was playing on your expectations of the genre.

For a horror debut from a guy whose background is 2000s comedy I think he did really really good! Looking forward to what else he does

[reggiestein]

whats angel food cake and licorice cookies dynamic like??? Also I luv ur art sooo much it’s so cute ^_^

THANK U!!!!!!!!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ i love getting asks its so fun🥰🥰 so sorry for taking so long i wanted to write something actually decent😭

ALSO if u ever wanna send an ask about her or them.....pleasee do i love answering asks its soo fun

They r dumb and dumber. With angel being the dumber but for good reason because she only fell to earthbread like. a year ago.

Shes grown but shes definitely still learning about how to like..be alive and feel n everything. Its especially weird for her since shes an extrasensory being. Which btw i really need to make a post specifying what powers she has -_-

When she fell to earthbread (fallen angel💪💯) licorice found her in the woods while on a mission and was like "hey…powerful looking thing…i should totally bring this back to dark enchantress☝️". De finds super interest in her after learning about why shes there and what her background was like, claiming she has a "seed of Darkness inside". So they just kind of. keep her in the castle.

They sometimes let her leave on missions with either the whole CoD or just licorice if he needs her/she wants to go. Poison mushroom style.

^Which choco werehound and bat-cat don't really mind, having an identity-struggling cake that can fly is pretty fun for both of them, especially since she respects others regardless of status.

Okay so ACTUALLY getting to them, since de gives angel more attention (being built as a weapon mother gothel style requires more care than the Average CoD), licorice didnt really like her much at first. Finding her useful at best (being able to sense when others are near, being able to locate known objects with ease), and annoyingly slow at worst.

Shes really curious and just generally a very creative and empathetic person, when they spend more time together, his bitterness fades out a bit.

I have a lot of like cutesy type romantic stuff with them but idk.😭 I'll try to keep all that here so you can skip it if you want. Angel loves to invite him over to her room (presuming the cod all live in the castle... If they dont pretend i said she invites him to the castle) and hang out behind Dark Enchantress' back, Licorice usually says no before theyre together, but every once in a while he'll have a particularly bad day and begrudgingly agree to watch a movie or whatever angel feels like doing at the time. Arts and crafts or knitting or cooking or. Glassmaking or something idk shes always on her own thing.

Angel is very curious about cookies and Earthbread so shes constantly "bothering" Licorice about what his missions are like when she can't go. Or she asks about very mundane/normal things.

"Wow, so you all went to compete with royalty..? That's amazing... I wish I was there, too!🥰"

"So you just camp during missions? You sleep outside..? I wish I could do that... You and me should go camping sometime..."

She has a lot of interest in him due to both him being expressive and him being a very talkative and active cookie, seeing him as someone she can genuinely relate to. They are just very sweet i like them😁

[blazingstarship]

Bla bla bla with Bla(ze)

I have these things on my mind and dont know what to do then make a post of my thoughs.

So… all things is about Yu.sei.

What If Yu.sei heard me during our relationship saying Im not interested in his autograph for his fame, I only ever want it for three reasons. The contract of our house, certificate of marriage and certificate of our kids. Thats all.

And now I wonder how he would react…

Another thing that hadnt left my mind is whenever Yusei wakes up from a nightmare he makes himself warmth milk to get back to sleep. Its a comfort thing Mar.tha always did when he had nightmares as a kid and went to her with tears streaming down his cheeks.

One time I got out of bed and catched him doing this and asked if he was okay. He didnt answer as he kept sterling the spoon. Walking up to him as I hugged him from behind and snuggled him, whispering to him “Whatever it is, I am here for you. I will not leave your side, only if you want me to. I love you. I love you so much.”

Minutes passed till I let him go, he grabbed my hand. “Stay.” He handed me a cup too as we sitted down and drunk in silence as I holded his free hand the whole time.

Another thing I thought some night was…

What if I looked up the ceiling of our home and thought how Yu.sei would react if I di.ed. Would he miss me? Would he cry? As I turned over to see him sleep peacefully next to me, my heart sunk. Looked at him. Why would I bring something like this up to my mind? This sweet boy lost his own parents, some friends… As I stroked his hair softly I got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen.

Drinking some water as I though why I kept doing this comparing thoughts and end up thinking Im not enough for him and he will seek for someone else. Hearing footsteps coming closer as I saw Yu.sei bringing a bottle of water out the frigde.

“You okay?”

“Hm.”

“Couldnt sleep?”

“Not really.”

“Nightmare?”

“No, I just couldn’t sleep anymore.” “what…what would you do if Im gone?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“What would you do if Im gone?”

“Gone how?”

“Gone as in, spirit left my body gone.”

“Oh.”

“I dont want you gone.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t expect a big answer and being “I cant live without you. I would be desperate not having you in my arms. I love you to the moon and back! I dont want someone else than you! I would do anything I have to hold you by me!”. Its nice he at least said he doesnt want me gone.

“Not the answer you were hoping for?”

“”Sometimes I wish you were more talkative and tell me how much I mean to you. Sometime I need to hear you say that you want me, only me by your side and Im enough and always will be.””

“I took something to calm me, Im gonna try sleeping again.”

“Sharon, what do you want to hear?”

“Nothing you dont wanna say.”

I made my way back to bed as I stared at the nightstand till I heard him coming to our room as I closed my eyes quick. I feel him coming closer as I peaked through the lits of my eyes to see him kneeling in front of me as he laid his hand on my head and stroked my hair.

“I know you too well that you wanted another answer, but I really mean what I say. I dont want you gone. You mean everything to me. I cant put into words how much I care for you.”

I sighed as I opened my eyes fully, looking up to him. “But why cant you say that while looking in my eyes?”

“Cause I’m afraid when I say it directly to you, you will be gone too like everyone else who I have loved or loved me.”

“Yu.sei.”

[sadasspisces]

A secret no one knows about me, it's me. No matter how close I get to someone I can never be me. Because who I am is never enough. How I act, how I talk, how I love, the things that intrest me... it's never enough to make someone stay. Friends or lovers. I have been and always will be a disappointment to everyone I meet. I will leave this world alone. Without a single person to miss me, because they never truly knew me.

i understand this so much lol. it's almost as if i typed this, very close to things i say on the regular.

i'm going to give you some advice that i need to take myself but won't lmfaooo, um so i know it can get incredibly lonely, and idk about you but i have abandonment issues through the roof and it sounds like you might as well. ive found an odd comfort in my own company due to feeling how you described, but again it does get lonely, sometimes you wish you had at least someone to just have to like share things with or just genuinely like you for just who you are and what all comes with you. but there are people that can come around, that won't go and i'm trying to realize that. it's hard when all your life people have literally left. and i'm sure you do have someone that would miss you, my own family don't even know me personally, like no one in it but i know a few that would actually miss me, not many but a count on one hand if that. and tbh that's enough, you don't need a whole lot of people.

there are maybe like a total of 3 people i can say really know me, like the real me. things i like, things that make me cry/sad, my interests, me as an individual. i don't open up to many people ever, because same, the fear of them leaving. but you will find people that will be open to knowing you as a friend/lover. like its possible but you have to shift your mind a bit and also stay true to yourself, don't get too wrapped up when accepting someone in. like i try to give trial runs first, the people i consider "close" i didnt properly open up too until maybe months to years later lmfao literally every year they learn something new about me cause i have problems ofc lmfao. i'm an open book but i'm not an open book, like i won't read my book outloud if you get my drift. but yeah i feel it all starts with you first.

i can definitely relate though, and idk but i feel its a mental health thing. no ome truly knows me and i feel if i was to leave too, no one would truly miss the real me because no one knows who i truly am. so i get it, but try to start with yourself first, find some peace in yourself somewhere. 🧡 sorry this was super long but i hope it helps you some lol alsooo you could always message me, i suck at responding because my own mental health is poor lmfaoo but i will get back to you eventually but yeah take care i'm always here ☺️

[caelumsnuff]

I wish I could get paid like $16,000 (after taxes) or more a month for mediocre plotting, weak characterization, and once-a-month subpar audio porn like this basic and uninspired creative. This is quite bitter of course lol because his work was a fixation of mine for awhile until I realized how not great a lot of it is if you think about anything for more than two seconds and I also watched a lot of the podcast and realized he’s not a particularly kind person either lol.

It does have a little bite to it, but i don’t disagree with you. once again, under the cut because i am so so opinionated and i love ranting.

God i wish i could get paid that much too like gahddamn.

I sometimes wish i could say that his work was just a hyper fixation of mine, but at some point along the way it became closer to that of a special interest. I have quite a lot of fun criticizing and analyzing his work now, critically engaging with it (both being critical of it and having my brain on while i listen so i realize how bad it is at times lol) has become something i enjoy thoroughly. Good brain exercise.

I never was a patreon and im not going to be so i don’t know about the quality of his audio porn but like. I have GWA for that LMAO.

I agree about the mediocre plotting, ive talked plenty on this blog about how his plots are so often mediocre. I think a lot of them fall through because of the fandom reaction to them, or even their potential reactions. Which is a shame because Im of the opinion that he writes darker stuff better, but he doesn’t even just fumble the ball like he fucking drops it sometimes. (Fucking Marcus. Kody.) (the weak ass shit with inversion having no major consequences. Kill some characters you pussy) I think one of the reasons his plots are mediocre is because of the lack of consequences, of actual gravity and stakes. We never kill anyone. No one sustains permanent injuries. We need some kind of fear lingering over us that is palpable and that feels probable, something that has us sitting on the edge of our seats. But he tiptoes around doing things like this, and it has happened so often that we have settled in our comfort that no one important is going to get hurt, and nothing is going to change radically. Honestly it’d be a great time to do so now that we’re comfortable, but i doubt he will. Kill a listener. Kill a major speaker. Give someone permanent injuries. Fuck up relationships beyond repair. Have some horrible secret be revealed, betrayal and hurt and all that jazz. I havent listened to the Avior finale yet, but from the opinions ive seen from people i respect i dont have my hope very high.

Yeah if you think about any plot related stuff theres a 90% chance the floor is going to collapse out from under you. Its actually genuinely impressive how badly this man can fuck up an allegory, gotta give him props for that.

I feel like his characterization fumbles as well a lot of the time, his characters start off with so much personality and quirks and then he starts really fleshing them out and then……. They get buffed and smoothed out. At least thats what it feels like with all the fluffy, no plot comfort audios with little plot in between for months at a time. I do genuinely enjoy a lot of the characters (or the earlier, more full renditions of them. Or just the idea i have of them in my head) but i still think lately they’ve gone down hill. And i hope thats a trend that ends.

I’ve said it in anons to other people so if thats why this sounds familiar, its because it was me lmao, but i don’t particularly care for Erik’s personality all that much. I tried watching his livestreams way back, but i didnt last long because his chat is fucking annoying ass all hell and he wasn’t entertaining enough to justify me staying (for reference, i watch streams a lot. Ive moderated streams, Ive seen very annoying chats. His is horrible). I watched the podcast for a while but i just got sick of his and odies personalities. Hes kinda boring and comes off as fake to me. I wont assert that i know what hes actually like, i dont know the guy and it literally could just be general dislike (we’re human, it happens). I just tend to separate the artist from the art with this one. Its whateves.

But aside from all that, i hope that you still find some kind of joy in staying here if you choose to do so. Maybe its the fanfics, or you critiquing and analyzing the frankly subpar content, or maybe you make art of your own or play with what these characters could be like little dolls in your head, as long as it brings you joy.

Thank you for the ask anon! 💕

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami anon x5 YEAH FOR REAL to everything….. The way Majima treats his men is very. Hrm. I saw a good essay about it before regarding how Majima after going through the abuse he's faced only Knows / understands how to project that same sentiment with the most obvious example being Nishida who has almost like a looney tunes esque dynamic with him. And how that later goes on to talk about Majima associating Minami who is extremely clearly trying to emulate him with Sagawa + Shimano which led to like the disconnect in their relationship. Idk if ive tldlred that very well but yeah. It was very Majima centric though which makes me wish it talked abt more how Minami views the situation because again I do very much think it’s just a case of Minami wanted to do Somebody and he ultra latched onto the first person he saw that was That. Very like duckling following the leader. He most likely has no idea what the hell baggage Majima has and just continues viewing this act he's put on in such a glamourised revered light. The Cycle Of hell continues and continues forever. I feel like you could even make an argument Abt the like never wanting to accept defeat thing as another emulation of Majima who like very famously Just Keeps Trucking Along and Never Lets Up. Also so real about the tidbit abt the junior leader like it really just feels like something they made up out of the blue but it’s fine it’s just his now……. I agree that Minami very much does not give me like patriarch vibes I feel like nothing about him screams a person who wants to *the* most important- Its why I word it as like Minami wants to be SOMEBODY, but not the somebody who has all of the responsibilities and the stress that comes with being in the super hardcore major leagues- again, going back, a very sort of Immature or Young person kind of attitude to have. Also okay I thought it was both kinda hilarious and sad How the guys in the karaoke scene didnt want to be there 😭😭😭 really just feels like they were Dragged along because “why not” / because Minami is seemingly more carefree about things. I'd love to see him interact w just like the normal ppl of kamurocho or if he like worked at the construction site with his fellow coworkers like are they immediately put off or find him annoyingly pleasant enough. Idk if i have anythin to say abt it but i also LOVE ur tags and the idea of Minami putting himself through hell willingly to be as strong as majima garghghgghghg….. also its okay if ur actually sick for real like w a cold I hope u get better soon !!! Ironically i also have a minor cold so JWJJDJDEJ

we are so back......... you and me anon... we are both sick in the exact same ways (brainrot included)

I looooove the terrible recycling dynamic of abuse from Majima to his men and that sounds really evil but i mean like. its an extremely interesting and Real Thing to portray (completely on accident!) and explore. and i can't even act like i'd be better if i were him sometimes. i know damn well his boys are incompetent (everyone on earth is) and/or pains in the ass (definitely Aratani, probably Minami, but he dont mean it) and physical violence is part of their way of life in this fictionalised mega-gang. in a twisted way violence is more than just that, it's the solution to everything, it's the crux of everything, it's care for those who need to be able to stick up for themselves to survive and it's also a burden by way of Fighting Game Protagonist Syndrome. at the end of the day the abuse is still abuse, but you see some interesting perspectives with this kind of framework in that world..... including folks who'd enthusiastically participate in the looney-tunes Slapsticked role, like my take on Minami. Nishida too, but i don't think he's enthusiastic, just begrudgingly accepting of things...

i know the EXACT post youre talking about and i completely understand being Majima-focused in these kinds of rants cause he's the one with all the interesting shit going on and yknow. canonical character depth...... i try my best to not get sidetracked but Majima intrigues me as much as the people around him.... they made him and his relationships both fun and fascinating. to keep it Minami ways you'd probably be saying some real no-shit-sherlock shit "wow that's so tragic for him" or you'd get into HC and made up shit territory, like me ^_^ teehee

Speaking of Aratani, i think he's a good example of someone who actually wants the patriarch seat. the pursuit of power is like his whole deal. Gets considerable focus and text(dialogue) acknowledgement. Minami's whole deal is being goofy, he just also so happens to have considerable power both physically and in the yakuza hierarchy..... bullshit as his role may very well be......... and it's only barely noticed. the pros of being a joke i spose. he's treated, and acts, too nonchalant to give me the impression of gunning for the top. with the existence of other Majimagumi men like Aratani to compare, that just exasperates it for me. he wants to be cool, and that's all

and yknow what..... the fun thing is...... is that Majima gets stories told about him. they get told all over. so much so that resident under-rock-dweller Kiryu hears about them. Minami doesn't know shit from fuck about his boss but i bet he eats those stories the fuck up. true or not, Majima's prowess speaks volumes on it's own... he's the Boss for a Reason..... stories get told about people who Matter. he'd totally be all over that. Wanna Be Somebodyism is terminal and it's got him by the balls. too bad he's not destined to be anybody more than a side character in this series!

oh well..... that's what i'm here for. side characters come get your heads smacked hands kissed and existence acknowledged, possibly all three if you're silly enough

[funkymbtifiction]

How do I find true friends as an ISFP? I feel like I’m the one always reaching out to people, making plans and texting first. And I mean, I understand people can be busy, but if I don’t text people first, then they wont text me back and i don’t understand why. Like I wanna have a connection with people, but it seems like they never reciprocate. Ik I tend to like spam messages cuz I get excited sharing stuff about my day or just random stuff, but I usually get lackluster responses or get left on read. Now I haven’t really been texting people as much and I mean I did reach out to those who dont text me much, asking maybe they could start the convo for once, but it didnt really last long. So idk what to do.

I wish I knew, since I'm in the same boat (being the initiator and not having much response in person), but there are a few things to think about. It's probably not a problem with your personality, but rather that other people are busy, over-worked, less social than they used to be (due to the pandemic, which has changed us all... possibly forever), preoccupied, busy with social media, self-absorbed, and some of them aren't sure how to maintain relationships. People can get caught up in drama, be busy with their kids, trying to stay ahead of school work, etc. Life tends to be busy for most people, so they prioritize what matters the most and sometimes that doesn't include their casual relationships, especially if they are still at home dealing with family members.

A few things to look out for when meeting new people / potential new friends is...

Other people who seem to want to connect as much as you do.

Look for other people with a strong social instinct. Social is the Enneagram instinct that wants to stay connected to people, to maintain and build by sharing time, experiences, conversations, etc. A social-dom is going to be eager to connect more often.

Look for extroverts. When dealing with introverts, you are finding people with limited capacity for social engagement. At the end of a long day at school or work, they are often 'zapped' of energy and need down time. Extroverts are often energized at the end of the day and want to talk to people some more.

Consider who you are talking to, and what they might "want" from you. You might find it fun to share memes, but are they a meme person? Do they care about what you want to talk about? What do they want to talk about? Cater how you interact to the person you are talking to (this isn't just something Fe's do, you can learn it as well). And also, figure out what works for your friendship. If someone is way more enthusiastic about "in person," they may not want to text and don't get around to it -- instead of texting, set up a time and place to hang out. Or try e-mail with some people. Or a phone call.

Take an avid interest in people (you may be doing this already) -- but people LOVE to share their opinion on things usually. Ask them what they think about X (Star Wars, lasagna, the Olympics, anything), and then listen to them. People like other people who are interested in them. Also, if they don't contact you back... consider what the reason might be (finals week, company at their house, stress from a family situation, etc). It might not be personal.

This goes without saying but... a lot of people are 9s and 9s are the type most likely to pull away from people and be "withdrawn." They think about the people they like a lot, but don't necessarily reach out to connect to them -- because it doesn't occur to them that it's their job to do so. Some of the people who might not be answering you could be sp-dom 9s who care about you, but who withdraw from the world to cleanse themselves of its influences (9s can only be truly themselves when they are away from other people's influences), and don't realize that doing so is making you feel like you're carrying the weight of the relationship. 9s often don't initiate or think it's on them to maintain a relationship unless they prioritize it (or are social doms). The solution is to look for types that move toward people (the super-ego types and the assertive types) rather than pull away, AND (this is important), keep the 9s in your life, but learn to expect this behavior from them. This will help you avoid building expectations of them that they cannot fill. ("I don't expect them to stay in constant contact, and I know they're gonna disappear regularly." This also happens with 4s and 5s.)