#its been a hot minute since I've drawn him

[mysteroads]

Been a hot minute since I've been here, but I finally kicked my writer's block! New Fandom, who dis? I promise it's a happy ending, if a little bittersweet. In payment for bittersweet, you get: Villain Snark, Villain Banter, Dabi being an ornery little shi*t, Todofam feels, and... MONCHAN being a very good dog. 🐶💖

SUMMARY: Much to his displeasure, Dabi wakes up after his final confrontation with his family. However, he finds that his family isn't the only one waiting for him. Shigaraki is there to offer him a choice, and he brought his dog Monchan with him.

EXCERPT:

Opening his eyes again, Dabi tried to look around. Still blurry. Lots of white though, so, hospital? Why was he here? Why were they wasting time and medicine on a wreck of a villain? They sure were kicking up a lot of fuss about something. He could see people-shaped blurs wearing white running around like there was some kind of emergency. He wished he could roll his eyes, but that was too difficult. Idiots.

In a world of motion, the eye is naturally drawn to stillness, and so his gaze fell on the figure in the open doorway.

“Dog.” The word was startled out of him.

“What?”

“Did he say dog?”

“Touya, baby, what did you say?”  

Cold fingers touched his cheek, and he answered without thinking, “There's... a dog...”

A rush of confused whispers around him, as if they couldn’t see the freaking dog right in front of them. It was the damndest thing though: The rest of the room and the occupants were nothing but splotches of colors to him, but the dog was perfectly clear, practically haloed in high definition. Some type of medium sized brown dog, a shiba inu or corgi maybe. It sat as if waiting for something, and even from across the room he could tell its eyes were a warm, melting brown. He wondered idly if its fur was as soft as it looked.

“Her name’s Mon.” The new voice cut easily through the babble, and was familiar to Dabi as his own quirk. He felt the muscles in his face pull as they tried to form into a smirk.

“Tomura… Shigaraki… You crusty bitch.”

[thana-topsy]

I know you already wrote one for Teldryn and Neloth, but I remember you drawing them as werewolf and vampire a while back and I've been thinking about how that would make for a super fun fic ever since.

With still so many other prompts in my inbox, I feel bad for prioritizing this one, but also... the heart wants what the heart wants. So thank you, anon, because this definitely gave me a little bit of brainrot.

---

(Vampire) Neloth x (Werewolf) Teldryn 555 words

Once a month Teldryn would appear at his doorstep. 

The gifts of Hircine were gifts only up to a certain point. All Daedra dealt in contracts, after all. Some were just less obvious about it. Neloth had thoroughly weighed the consequences of his choice and had concluded that, should future events not turn in his favor, there were worse fates than taking up residence in Coldharbour. 

Teldryn, on the other hand, seemed to have had very little choice in the matter. 

The first time he’d shown up at Tel Mithryn, covered in blood and viscera, naked as a newborn, Neloth hadn’t even bothered to ask questions. He and the Nerevarine had developed an understanding long ago, back when both of them considered themselves residents of Vvardenfell. Before… well, before everything else.

And now it was like clockwork. As the moons would swell to fullness, so would the gifts of Hircine inside of its too-small vessel. Teldryn’s body would be ravaged by the beast whether he willed it or not. Neloth had watched the transformation with rapt fascination the first few times—the way Teldryn’s bones seemed to lengthen and crack, his spine contorting as he howled with pain, coarse hair erupting through his skin like thousands of needles. He would snarl and rage in the enclosure Neloth had constructed—for far darker purposes than containing a rampaging werewolf—chained to the floor, buffered by magical barriers. 

It was a pitiful sight. 

“I could make it all end, you know,” Neloth offered once after Teldryn had shrunk back into his birthform, naked and shivering against the cold dirt floor of Tel Mithryn’s labyrinthian basement.

Teldryn didn’t respond, his forehead pressed against the ground in a caricature of supplication, chains rattling with his strained movements as he attempted to regain himself. His body shook with the effort, the muscles along his back and shoulders twitching and spasming, his beautiful expanse of tattoo-laden, stoneflower skin slick with sweat and flushed with fresh blood.  

Neloth lowered the wards with a wave of his hand, the metal door of the chamber swinging open before him as he strode into the cell. He took a knee before Teldryn, reaching down to cup his chin and lift it enough to look into his eyes, finding only pain and fear. 

“Say the word, and it’ll all be over.” Neloth traced his thumb over Teldryn’s lower lip, cracked and bleeding. The blood pulsed hot beneath Neloth’s finger. “We could rule this island together. Beyond, even. And what else–” Teldryn’s breath hitched as Neloth pulled his face closer, forcing him onto his knees. “To have you by my side, always.” 

Neloth leaned forward and took Teldryn’s lower lip between his, sucking the blood from the miniscule wound. He could taste Hircine’s filth and corruption. It filled him with white hot rage, that someone so powerful would be shackled to something so debased. When he pulled back, Teldryn’s eyes had regained some of their clarity, a hard set to his jaw, brow drawn tight.

“No,” he rasped, shaking his head minutely in Neloth’s grip. “I would not trade one set of chains for another.” 

Neloth’s lip curled with distaste as he released Teldryn’s chin, pushing to his feet. “Pity,” he said. Another wave of his hand and the chains around Teldryn’s wrists and ankles released. “And such a waste.”

[ejsuperstar]

Been a HOT minute since I drew my favourite boi Berdly

Trying to figure him out again since its been far too long since i've drawn him, alongside a few headcanons for him (autism, friends with Kris, drinks soup out of the bowl, brittle bones)

[sugars-fluffy-escapes]

“my my, it seems like this brave adventurer has found themselves in a very precarious situation~” w/ ler!eddie pls? 👉👈 -🌼

"My myyyy~ It seems like this brave adventurer has found themself in a very precarious situation~"

Your stomach and sides were immediately overcome with butterflies upon hearing the low, drawn out tone of voice Eddie was using, eyeing the dice that lay by your hand to avoid looking into his eyes. Considering his actual campaigns were of utmost ruthlessness, perhaps you should have anticipated he'd throw a twist your way while he was helping you master the foundations of DnD. He admired and adored how dedicated you were to learning the game before your first campaign as the newest member of Hellfire, but he wasn't about to make it easy.

"Although you are surrounded, by a dreadful... despair-inducing darkness... a short distance away, obscured by the shadows, you can still make out a silhouette." Eddie's eyes darkened and the slightest smirk formed on his lips. "Its eyes, though you cannot see them, are glaring daggers into your soul. You watch the creature raise its arms, and that's when you see just how many it has."

Before you could inquire about how many arms the creature had, Eddie answered your question. "There are farrrr too many to count. All you know, is that this monster stands between you and your only escape. What will you do?"

You couldn't quite gather your thoughts, so you asked a question. "I... Does i-it speak? Can I reason with it?"

"Ahh, the route of the diplomat. Unfortunately, this monster does not speak, nor does it negotiate."

"Then I'll fight my way through."

"Truly living up to the title of 'brave~'" Eddie hummed, before gesturing to the dice on the table. "Let's see if your attack will yield success."

With a deep breath, you shook one of the dice in your hands. As Eddie stood and leaned over his DM screen, you released the die, letting it roll across the tabletop. You were confused when he moved from his chair and began taking slow steps in your direction.

"Though your efforts are valiant, and something to be greatly admired, unfortunately, your attack misses."

"H-How did you-"

"The monster disarms you, and LUNGES in your direction," Eddie moved toward you very suddenly, causing you to screech, "before its arms outstretch, and trap you in its grasp!"

"EDDIE! W-Whahat are you doing!? Doesn't m-my character take damage? Is my character dead!?"

Eddie's eyes softened when you asked him those questions. "What kind of jerk would I be if I killed off your character while I'm teaching you how to play? Your character won't take any damage from this."

"B-But what kind of monster doesn't kill...?" Your question was answered the second Eddie's smirk grew and his wiggling fingers latched onto your sides. "Wahahait! WAHAHAHAIT! SHIHIHIT! EDDIE! EDDIEEHEHEEEE! Thihihihis ihihisn't fahahAHAHAIRRRR!"

Eddie was chuckling at the way you sank down in your chair from how badly it tickled, and expertly followed as you slowly sunk to the floor. "Lucky for you, brave adventurer, you've merely encountered a mischievous tickle monster~ After it's grown bored of making you giggle, it will let you go." You bit your lip to stifle a giggle when Eddie paused.

"Unfortunately..." he muttered, leaning closer to your face. "...it's rather difficult for a tickle monster to grow bored~"

"Ehehedwahard Muhunson," you warned, voice coming out as a giggly squeak that was far from intimidating. You squealed as Eddie began gently yet torturously clawing at your ribs, his grin as wide as it could be.

Eddie was a mean DM, but at least he made learning the game as fun as possible for the both of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RUNNING AND HIDING BECAUSE I AM FLUSTERED TO HELL AHSHSHDJDJDJSNSND 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ /lh /pos

I am so so giddy about this sentence prompt GAHSHSJDJF 🥴 Thank you thank you thank you for sending it!!!

Also hi hello I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted one. I'm slowly but surely getting over the allergies. Til next time! 💖 /pos /p

~ Ushu 🤍 (/p)

[honestlyvan]

👀👀 rlly interesting read on ovan, would love to hear some abt ur hcs on him n corbenik

So it's been a hot minute since I watched Terminal Disc so my memory of the details of the canon are very vague, but I definitely think it's likely that the Epitaphs attached themselves to players in reverse numerical order, making Ovan the first and unintentionally the template for how becoming an Epitaph-PC would play out.

Corbenik is sort of funny as a Phase because the way it's laid out in the Epitaph, Corbenik serves no function until the Wave wipes out its intended target, and it's left behind to observe the void. As long as the system state isn't disturbed and no new AI begins to emerge, Corbenik stays passive theoretically forever -- but once it is disturbed, it rouses the rest of the Wave to come clean up what was left unfinished.

(I recognise this isn't how we see it play out in R1, I'm basing this on the idea that Morganna designed the Wave to be essentially self-propagating against Aura. The stalemate is the point, the rolling waves razing any fertile ground for her to develop on in favour of perpetual despair and the call of the void.)

With Corbenik as the rearguard of the apocalypse, it could have easily been the most active (least inactive?) of the Phases during the period of calm after Aura takes over Morganna's duties -- with no AI competing with Aura available to suppress, it was essentially on standby, latching onto Ovan the moment he showed up and then doing nothing until it registered the AIDA that also attached itself to Ovan.

Which is the thing that really fucks Ovan over, I think. The body timeshare he has with Tri-Edge is stressful enough, but Corbenik is also perpetually making him identify himself as the greatest threat to system integrity. So he's essentially getting a triple dose of the Epitaph "the solution is Fucking Kill Yourself" heightened self-destructive urge -- from the nature of the Cursed Wave, from the Vagrant AI-fication of the Phases and being (in part) his own natural-born enemy.

On top of this, Corbenik is perpetually calling to the other Phases like "over here! I've identified the enemy! Here is an AI we need to stop from reaching self-actualisation!" So candidates are drawn to him, unconsciously recognise him as having seniority, and then immediately identify him as the threat to be eliminated. People keep forming a kind of proxy disordered attachment to him, feeling compelled to follow his orders but also feeling threatened by his presence and become driven by the urge to destroy him.

Haseo is particularly vulnerable to this because Skeith and Corbenik are so intertwined in their roles, the first Phase is the one the last calls the strongest, and his personal sense of betrayal only amplifies the destructive resonance. And the influence goes both ways, the more Skeith perceives Corbenik's host as the main threat, the more Corbenik calls on Skeith as the vanguard to eliminate that threat. Haseo's (perceived) perception of him directly influences Ovan's perception of himself -- with everyone else Ovan is very particular about asserting his own reality, but with Haseo, the way Haseo sees him takes priority over how Ovan sees himself.

[worldeaterart]

I redrew and lightly redesigned my old character, Araeson. He was the Elven Warlock in service to a demigod from my world named Quiquetzal, also known as The Storm Lord. Any time he preformed a worthy task for his patron, he was gifted a tattoo that could channel a spell. And by the time he was introduced, he was basically covered head to toe in Tattoos.

My friend got to meet him and chose to take him on the adventure that her chaotic evil wizard character was going on. Araeson is a Sun Elf from my world setting, the Mirror Worlds, and is from the southern continent. He was sort of overly confident at all times and a bit of a jerk to her character at first, but despite the odds, Theran stuck with Araeson and Araeson decided he was alright, and started being kinder to him. They later ended up developing feelings for each other over the course of the game.

He's a favorite character of mine. And since its been a hot minute since I've drawn him, I wanted to give him a bit of a refresh and redesign as well.

[everthewip]

fictober // ffxiv

Prompt numbers: 5 "You're the smartest person I know" & 6 "I can't wait for you"

Fanfiction Fandom: FFXIV

Rating: G

Warnings: None besides Endwalker Spoilers

Characters: Azem, Venat, Emet & Hythlodaes (briefly)

Other Notes: two in one since I won't be able to write tomorrow. There's not direct ship here but if you squint you could find Azem shipped with all three of them. It's been a hot minute since I've played ffxiv so cut me some slack if i screwed any lore up

Also this is kinda long

ALSO also Azem written as fem b/c i wrote this with my Azem in mind (sorry)

Their people had twisted and writhed, flailing within the promise of a purer sunrise. Radiant and warm, an ocean of light to consume the darkness that had befallen the world; forgetting the beacons that already walked among them. Yet those beacons, rather than illuminating a new path, were gladly snuffed out in exchange for a promise. It was a sea of falsehoods, where hope retreated to drown; cold and airless, sinking to depths yet untouched, in a darkness where no hope might thrive.

And yet, she walked with her head high, held above the raging surface.

Waters once bluer than the clear skies were stained red by bloodshed, as red and black as the heavens from which fire rained. Buildings once unyielding crumbled into dust, the majesty of their architecture lying shattered in heaps of rubble. Streets once walked by the many were littered with their corpses.

And yet still she walked on, her steps following the same path as the one who came before, as she had always done.

Most beasts that roamed paid The Traveler no heed, for there was a fire in her eyes that burned hotter than the flaming skies; as if the very sun had erupted and she carried the full majesty of its rage. Those who dared attack found her burning gaze searing their flesh, just as the bite of her blade ripped through them, adding their wicked blood to the dark pools of the innocents. One could not know the world as she did – with all of its beauty and dangers – without knowing how to fight and kill. She was many things... but that day, more than anything, she was merciless.

It was a long pass through the ruins, but the carnage left in her wake was no more and no less than what already filled the once peaceful city.

Somehow an Aetheryte yet remained, turning slowly with shards of crystal broken and littering the ground. It glowed, a gentle beacon in such a tragic landscape, and yet neither man nor beast lingered near it. There were remains, of course; some rushing towards it and others away. Husks frozen in place where fire had struck and burned, leaving charred flesh and silhouettes. If she listened closely – and she did, always, despite herself – she could hear the echo of their cries.

The Aetheryte stirred at her presence and soon enveloped her entirely, pulling apart her physical form to carry her essence along an unseen stream. Within moments she had reemerged, her form restored, her feet touching distant floors.

Curiously, the interior of the Propylaion remained intact, despite Elpis having been one of the first struck by the endless tragedy. There was certainly a strong magic there, and though she could not place the source, she had the sense that this building was a destination for more than those traveling by Aetheryte. Had she the time she would have investigated further, as her curious nature was wont to do…

But there was no time. Not any longer.

And so she made for the double doors that opened into the research facility, only to have a presence halt her inches away.

Her breath caught in her throat.

He had been here. She could not say how long ago, but his presence had been important enough that hints of him remained.

Oh, how she longed to see! To witness the echo of his time there, to experience what had drawn him to linger at this door! Fate, however, was cruel. She could not have the pleasure of seeing his smiling face again and instead could look only to her own memories. They came without warning then, as memories often do, though they were far from the memories she would have chosen.

She had gone to him not long after her departure from the Convocation. Fury still heated her blood, but it was quelled the moment she reached him. His smile, ever so calm and content, gave her comfort. The very fact that he could keep smiling, despite the horror around them, gave her hope.

And then he had spoken of his intent, without fear or regret, his eyes alight with purpose, and she had broken.

None could claim to have ever brought Azem to her knees, to have her pleading at their feet with everything that she was. Nor would she have allowed anyone else to see such desperation, such weakness. It was a sight sure to be met with disapproval, and though she had never cared to uphold social expectations, she had ever made it a point to stand as either a guiding light or a formidable flame.

This was unlike her.

This was unbecoming.

This was her goodbye to Hythlodaeus.

He had knelt with her, eased her against him, comforted her as she clung to his robes and wept.

“Do not weep, my friend, for what greater purpose might I serve than to ensure there is yet a future for you?”

His words had not swayed her and by the time she left, he had promised to reconsider. A vain part of her dared to hope he meant it and, perhaps in some small way, he did. But Hythlodaeus had made his choice and he was stubbornly set upon it. If his sacrifice contributed to the saving of their world, to ensure his dearest friends could thrive and continue their great work, then he would gladly give himself a thousand times over.

She did not see him again. In the days that followed a message was delivered to her hands.

Take care of our charmingly dour old friend; I promise, we will be together again.

His last words to her, a request she could not and would not fulfill.

It hurt to remember and so she forced the memory away. Emet-selch's presence lingered there in the doorway as well, a touch of his magic, strong and undeniably familiar. She focused on that instead, allowing it to stir furious embers and fortify her resolve. With a fury, she shoved the doors open and stepped out into the once beautiful outpost of Elpis.

The air was quiet. All researchers had fled or died. The abominations brought to life from their fears had attacked and the more violent of Elpis' research subjects had retaliated in kind. Remnants of the slaughter remained, though many of the beasts who survived and had the means to leave did so. Some still lingered, wandering the darkened landscape like the beasts that lurked in the ruined cities.

There was no fear in The Traveler.

As she walked, her mind lingered on Emet-selch, for such thoughts hardened her heart and kept her anger unyielding.

He had already infuriated her by agreeing with the Convocation's decision, more-so when he tried to stop her departure. His efforts had been in vain, for even if she'd given him her ear, the Convocation would not take back their declaration. She was no longer Azem and never would be again. She was The Defector. There was no place for her there, not among the Fourteen, nor even within their beloved home. Without a word she had left, taken to the roads, to travel as she always had. They could claim her title, but they would never retake her role. She would ever be The Traveler, Convocation be damned! If there was another way to stop the horror they faced, then she was determined to find it. Along the way, she would help those who needed it, for she knew the Convocation would not. This had been her goal. She had not bothered to even say goodbye.

Not to Hades, at least.

She returned only when she discovered Hythlodaeus was gone. If her presence sparked anything among her people, she did not notice nor care. She had marched across what remained of Amaurot and sought out Emet-Selch himself, disregarding whether he was alone or in public; daring anyone to stop her once she found him. Perhaps it was for the best that the man was on his own, grieving beside a tree in a small park that was otherwise deserted, so quiet had the city become after the sacrifice.

He heard her steps, sensed her presence, caught glimpses of her soul from the corner of his eyes. She burned so radiantly, so beautifully, with a passion he had seen again and again in battle. In those moments she was brilliant to watch… but never had he felt the heat of her aggression directed so fervently towards him.

When he turned, his face was met with the searing sting of her palm.

“How could you!” she hissed, raising her hand to slap him again. This time he was swift, grabbing her wrist in a firm hold before she could meet his burning cheek. He held fast when she tried to yank herself free, and when that failed, her remaining hand curled into a fist. He was barely as swift to catch her before her fist made contact with any part of his face, but he managed to evade it and detained both of her hands.

“What is this brazen foolishness!?” he growled, forcing her to turn so her back was against the tree. He towered over her, not threatening so much as cautious and tense. Golden eyes glared daggers, but behind them she could feel his concern, and it only angered her more.

“You could have stopped him! He would have listened to you!”

“When, pray tell, have you ever known Hythlodaeus to heed any word I say?”

“You are the smartest person I know, you could have found a way!” But she knew his words were true, even if her heart did not want to accept it. Their eyes met, blazing suns against golden stars, and a moment of understanding passed between them. The loss of one so beloved turned their sorrow into chains, tethering them together, even if for only a spell.

Hades let his guard drop, his expression soften, his regret and self-inflicted guilt spill freely between them. It was so rare for him to show his emotions and the suddenness of it caught her off-guard.

“I did all I could to stop him.” Carefully, he released her wrists, though his hands remained ready to catch them again should she start swinging. Instead, her hands fell to her sides, limp.

“Did you, Emet-Selch?” she asked, her tone undeniably bitter.

He did not answer and she did not wait for one. Her palms rose to push him back and she took her leave, with no intention of speaking to him ever again.

And so this scene replayed in her head until she came to the edge of the island, her gaze drawn up to a floating mass of land upon which stood a single blossoming tree. The leaves were pink and vibrant, a stark contrast to the darkness that remained all around; a single reflection of the beauty this place had once claimed. As she watched it, a golden glow appeared from the edge of the mass above, and soon a familiar figure took to the air and approached.

“Argos...” she murmured fondly, reaching out to scratch the familiar's shimmering ears. Eyes of crystalline azure met her own with overwhelming joy and love, carrying a hope that defied the terror facing the star. All thoughts of Emet-selch were gone in the wake of Argos' gaze and for the first time The Traveler felt at peace.

“Will you take me to her?”

He would, of course, as it had been She who had sent him down to fetch her.

Venat stood near the edge, gazing down into the sea of clouds below. She did not turn at their arrival, though her head did lift in silent acknowledgment.

As he delivered The Traveler to his mistress, Argos left them both, vanishing in a golden light. His presence lingered for but a moment more and then they were alone.

“I am impressed you found me,” Venat stated, her tone calm.

“Your trail was easy to follow.” The Traveler found herself smiling as she stepped closer, unable to resist the warmth her former mentor's presence imbued. “Too easy, in-fact. I half-wondered if you had left me clues on purpose.”

The older woman turned, blue eyes taking in the sight of her protege. “To have left clues would suggest I knew you would come, but I admit your arrival was unexpected.”

“Knew, or perhaps hoped. Whatever the case, I am here.”

“So you are, and full glad am I to see you again.”

Venat returned the smile and for a moment all was at peace. She could not have known her friend would come to her and indeed hadn't until the moment she arrived in Elpis. Her presence was undeniable and comforting, for there were many things Venat longed to say, things she'd feared would be left unsaid. Had they the time, she would have gladly lay beneath the blossoming tree and spoke of happier things; of memories and dreams, of the sights her dear friend had seen during her absence. She would have welcomed a small respite of normalcy, something to carry with her when she was gone. But time was not on their side, and if she was to say all that she needed, there could be no delay.

“We sent word to you,” she added, bringing them out of their quiet serenity and back to the present. “But with no response… the others told me that I can't wait for you, and yet I hoped...”

“My mind remains unchanged,” Azem interrupted, her smile falling. “I do not support what you plan any more than I supported Zodiark's summoning.”

“I expected as much.” Venat's smile did not fade, though it grew sadder as she offered a nod. “So why, then, did you come?”

At this question, Azem turned her gaze away, a flare of anger threatening to rise.

“Because you are to become this being's heart, and in so doing I will have lost all whom I hold most dear.”

Her words drew a pained exhale from Venat's lips, but her protege was not yet finished.

“Zodiark has stolen Elidibus and Hythlodaeus, and for what? Their lives in exchange for a brief reprieve and nothing more. And Hades… Hades may yet live, but there is no place in my heart for him, not any longer.”

She looked up, the fire in her eyes settling into a solemn ember. “And now you will leave and perhaps your Hydaelyn will do what Zodiark could not… or perhaps It will fail, and your life will be lost for nothing.”

The Traveler's fingers opened and her blade fell, striking the earth in a small burst of aether that faded into the air. Her eyes rose, head tilted back to gaze up at the skies.

“I am no longer The Traveler, as you know. They call me The Defector, now. Yet still I have wandered, as it is who I am, and the Convocation cannot take that from me.”

Her eyes fell shut, though her head remained tilted, face to the heavens.

“There are places and people I have grown to love with all of my being… Some of them have survived. Many of them have not. Many more I could not save in time.”

She exhaled a breath and opened her eyes, looking to Venat once more. In the older woman's gaze she saw sorrow and understanding, the plight of Azem - a tether that would ever bind them.

“I do not know what summoning Hydaelyn will require, but if giving you my life might make you stronger, make her stronger, then I am here to give it. I want to believe there is another way to save our star, but I have seen firsthand that I will not find it on my own.”

There were many reasons Venat had chosen her successor, but as they gazed at one another, the offer hanging heavily between them, she could see but one: love. It was love for their star and its people that guided them together now and love is what would carry them forward.

Love, too, is what drew her response.

“No.”

The refusal was unexpected. Venat watched as Azem's gaze shifted from surprise to recognition; from recognition to anger. That brilliant gaze burned into the older woman, but it was not unfamiliar and she would not be swayed. She stood firm, but across from her, so too did The Defector. She stood just as tall, just as unyielding, and where Venat's gaze hardened into pools of unbreakable ice, the young woman before her threatened to melt her resolve with eyes of fire.

“No?” The word was bitter from Azem's tongue; not truly a question, but a challenge.

Venat's eyes narrowed.

“No.” Before Azem could resummon her blade, as the rage in her soul threatened she might, Venat stepped forward, brought a light hand to cup Azem's cheek. That touch alone calmed the woman, and despite her fury, she turned her head to nuzzle against that sudden caress.

“It is noble of you to offer your life to strengthen my sacrifice,” Venat continued. “But it is vital to our world that you survive.”

“And if I don't?” Her voice had, without warning, grown small and tired; her gaze exposing a lifetime of fears that made Venat's own heart ache. “If your plan fails and all is lost, I will die regardless. Will you not allow me the honor of at least choosing my own death?”

Despite the heaviness of those words, Venat could not help but smile. “You have so little faith in me to believe, wholeheartedly, that we will fail?”

A flush rose over Azem's cheeks. “I did not mean – I – it is not that I have no faith in you, Venat!”

“Oh?” Venat chuckled, letting her hand fall, though Azem was quick to catch it in her own.

“I just – if you do succeed and we are saved, what will I do? Without Hythlodaeus, without you?”

“What you have always done.” She squeezed Azem's hand. “Wander, explore, help those who cry out for help and befriend those who's hearts beat with the same passion as your own.”

Venat lifted their joined hands and pressed a lingering kiss to Azem's knuckles.

“Whatever happens, you will always be a Light that moves across the land, until the very end of your long journey.” Her breath, her words, warmed Azem's fingers. “And at that end, when asked whether this life was a gift or a burden, it is my hope that you will look back on the paths you have walked, on the darkness you have brightened, and be able to answer with all of the truth and love that burns in your soul. Whatever that answer may be, may it come with no regret.”

[quidfree]

hi, hope you’re doing good! you mentioned bnha canon so I’m curious: what’s your opinion about the *thing* that happened? do you think it’ll be permanent or it will be undone somehow? how would you like to see it unfold? thanks in advance, love reading your thoughts :)

lol i just spoke abt this w @swisseroni who follows canon better than i do so i can answer this w the usual caveats re: my lack of manga readership. read below cut bc im feeling nice re not spoiling some innocent who somehow hasn't heard yet

to begin with i should say that honestly i dont think bakugou is dead. mainly bc i don't think horikoshi has the balls. bakudeku's dynamic is p much what sets bnha apart from every other generic shonen in its genre, and without bakugou as foil i don't think izuku would be compelling enough as a protagonist. plus he's the beloved fan fave and all that.

if he survives, it will doubtless be very stupid. swiss was saying izuku will probably develop his 201829th quirk to save him. i've also seen something about nitroglycerin starting hearts or whatever.

if he dies, what a dumb way to do it!

seriously though- i really don't get the thought behind this whole thing. to my understanding we've literally Just had a whole dramatic 'bakugou dramatically sacrifices himself to save midoriya bc of his character growth and prompts midoriya's jokerification' moment when he got stabbed by shigaraki the LAST time. what's to be gained by having it repeated? nothing about the status quo is affected apart from canon getting even more grimdark. same q w bakugou dying now- what is going to be gained from? izuku getting more angsty as well? it's so narratively pointless.

i guess you could harp on about the innate tragedy of bakugou dying once he's realised his character arc or something, but 1) again, could have done that last time and 2) i don't even think he has, because surely we could get more interesting shifts in bakugou than just a willingness to recognise izuku's personal worth. i'd much rather see how bakugou's trajectory into pro-heroism is affected by his evolution.

also wow has it been a hot minute since any other character did anything meaningful in canon. todoroki honey i'm so sorry your plots have all been absorbed by not one but two of your adult relatives who treat you like shit.

anw you also asked how i would like to see it unfold! again i dont follow the manga much so grain of salt and all, but if i was writing the implausible bakugou survival i think i'd make it so it Was midoriya's godmode quirk that did it, except at the cost of midoriya over-extending his quirk in this grand act (he can wipe shigaraki out while he's at it, i'm feeling generous) so that he winds up quirkless again. i think it'd be the only way to make midoriya less exhaustingly OP so he has anywhere to go from here, and it'd also rid us of this very drawn-out shigaraki melodrama. bakugou could have some kind of serious physical set-back too, for funsies.

funniest possible take on this from swiss: bakugou dying so uraraka can get narrative relevance being deku's grief-support.

[stevethehairington]

6, 7, and 29 for the wrapped game!

vioooo hiiii, ty for sending this in my love 💕

6. Favorite title you used

OH love this question. i think i am going to have to go with sloe gin fizzy, do it till you're dizzy. there's just something about this lyric that makes me grin, it's just got such fun body to it, so yeah it takes the cake for sure lol.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

i answered this one here!

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

at the risk of sounding full of myself lmao, there are actually quite a few lines/passages that i wrote that i really really like. i am only going to mention two of them though.

the first is from sloe gin fizzy:

The kiss is honey sweet and molasses slow. It starts off a little tentative, a little unsure, just lips slotting together, Steve’s bottom lip fitting perfectly between Eddie’s. But then the pressure changes, increases, and Steve’s mouth falls open, just a little bit, just enough. Eddie takes advantage, presses in, catches Steve’s lower lip between his teeth and bites down, softly, gently, but hard enough to earn himself a fluttery gasp from Steve. When he lets go, he eases his tongue across Steve’s lip, soothing, and licks in, hot and wet. Steve shifts on the bed, rolling towards Eddie, and his hand comes up to tangle in Eddie’s curls. The hem of his shirt rides up, and as if drawn to it, Eddie’s hand finds bare skin, fingers curling around Steve’s exposed hip. The record they’d been listening to earlier has long since come to its end, nothing but low static spilling from the needle. The soft, wet sounds of their mouths together and their gasped breaths join it to fill in the gaps.

with this one i just really like all the lil details i got to add into this lil bit and also the "honey sweet and molasses slow" is probably one of my all time favorite descriptors i've used to describe a kiss too lol.

the second is from if you have a minute:

Eddie grins wide enough to show off all of his teeth, and his dimples are so stark in his cheeks. He looks as exhilarated as Steve feels. Like he’s full of life and energy. His eyes are wild, sparkling frenetically. He’s like walking fucking lightning. He’s beautiful. Steve wants to kiss him. He nearly does, too. They’re so close already, touching in so many places — all it would take is one purposeful move. Steve’s about to just go for it , already leaning in, when a fat drop of water hits him square in the forehead. He pauses. Blinks. Looks up. Another drop — rain , Steve realizes. Then another, and another, and then the sky opens up. “ Oh, shit !” Eddie curses as the rain starts to pour. Steve and Eddie share a look with matching wide eyes and water clumping their eyelashes and dripping off the ends of their noses. They burst into laughter, a little wild, a little dumbfounded. And then Eddie grabs Steve’s hand. His fingers are wet and slippery, and Steve’s are too, but they twine together tightly, and Eddie takes off, tugging Steve along as he starts to run. They streak through the trees, back the way they came, as the torrent of rain soaks them through. Steve almost slips a few times as the dirt turns to mud beneath his feet, but Eddie’s grip on his hand keeps him upright and hurtling forward. Eddie tosses his chin over his shoulder to meet Steve’s eyes, his own still wide and disbelieving. “Where the hell did this come from?” He shouts, holding his free hand palm up to catch the rain. “Not a god damn clue!” Steve shouts back joyously, shaking his head.

tbh i wanted to include the whole entire eddie taking steve to the lake and getting him to scream part too because i really really love that part (it was SO cathartic to write and to read over and it is 100% what steve deserves lol) but if i included that part of this scene too this would've been WAY too long LMAO so i stuck with this part because raaaaaain my beloved 💕. i just really like the unadulterated joy and the lightness that this scene is full of, it's something they BOTH deserved to get so much more of in the show, so i had to give it to them here. (plus i snuck in a lil more of that sweet sweet hand holding i love so much 😋)

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

[fi-wardsword]

Hyrule - Linked Universe

[sovereignbryce]

I want to hug thorney

he probably needs it tbh

[ratcity00]

javier: they took my fucking eyes arthur

[imthebadguyyy]

God, I Love You

Lewis Hamilton X Reader

Summary - Its been a tiring couple of race weeks, and you just want to love on your man

Stretching, you slowly opened your eyes as the first bright rays of sunshine peeked through a gap in the curtains, that you had drawn shut the previous night. As you slowly regained complete consciousness, you became aware of the slight weight around your waist, and the feel of warm breath on the back of your neck.

Suddenly remembering the events of the previous day, a smile etched itself onto your lips, as you rolled over to see a sight you had sorely missed for the past three weeks. Lewis was still fast asleep, head buried in your neck, and arm slung around your waist. Smiling as you took in the sight, you became faintly aware of the sound of paw steps down the hall, as Roscoe's face peeked in through the open door. Sitting up very slowly so you didn't wake your sleeping boyfriend, you extended your arms towards the dog, who came trotting forward for a morning cuddle.

After some morning loving for the dog, you decided to get up and start your day, and let Lewis sleep off the exhaustion, exhilaration, stress and jet lag from the races he had won. He had only come home yesterday, and it had been so late in the evening that you had just eaten dinner together, and talked for a bit, but sensing how hard it was for him to even keep his eyes open, you had simply gone to bed. But today, you had planned to simply spend time together, to make up for the time he had not been there.

Stepping into the bathroom, you did your morning routine, of brushing, using the toilet, and tying your hair up into a ponytail. Then you made your way into the kitchen, the bulldog following right by your side. When you had begun dating Lewis, Roscoe had simply started treating you like his mom, and once, when Lewis had referred to you as 'Mumma' while talking to him, you cried. That was the moment you knew that this was always going to be your family. Ever since then the dog had become your fur baby as well, and Lewis often joked that Roscoe loved you more than he loved his own dad.

Deciding that waffles and fruit was the way to go, you quickly whipped up the batter, and poured it into the Mickey Mouse shaped waffle iron that you had bought at a Disney themed store. Picking out some strawberries, mango, orange segments and blueberries to put in a bowl on the side, you also decided to prepare Roscoe's bowl, so the doggo could eat with you guys. Soon, the smell of waffles wafted through the air, and you took out two perfectly shaped waffles to put onto the plate. Quickly pouring more batter into the pan, you began to set up the breakfast tray, and then make your way back to the bedroom.

With breakfast eventually ready, you picked up the tray laden with waffles, cut fruit, tea, maple syrup and a bowl of dog food and walked up quietly to the bedroom. The curtains were still drawn, although the gentle breeze kept moving them to the side, causing little rays of sunshine to peek through and shine on Lewis's face. To combat the light, he had simply pulled the fluffy white blanket over his head to keep the light away from his face, and you mentally "awed" at the sight. Setting the tray down on the bedside table, you climbed into the bed, and wrapped you arms around his torso, peppering kisses onto his neck, and moving onto his face, kissing his chin, nose, cheeks, forehead, eyes, and then finally, just above his lips.

Stirring as you kissed his face, Lewis's eyes slowly fluttered open, taking in his surroundings. After momentary confusion about where he was, he remembered that he was back home. Back with Y/N and Roscoe. A feeling of happiness and pure joy began to spread through his body, as he turned to see Y/N's e/c eyes looking at him with pure love and adoration. "Good morning bubs! Did you sleep well?" she asked, fingers tracing shapes over his bare skin. "Morning baby. I did" he replied, snuggling into her warmth, burying his face in her chest, as she began to softly play with his hair. "I made breakfast"

"You didn't have to" "I wanted too" 'MmmHmm"

As you basked in each others warmth and cuddled up to each other, Roscoe, deciding that he wanted some loving too, jumped onto the bed, right between the two of you. "Hello Roscoe" Lewis said, reaching out to pet the doggo. Wagging his tail, he trotted up to your body, and sat down near your tummy, resting his head on Lewis's shoulder. Feeling loved up and comfortable between both your boys, you let out a sigh of content, and rested your head on your boyfriend's shoulder. Humming something under his breath, Lewis began running his fingers along your bare arms, causing goosebumps to erupt over your skin.

"The foods getting cold" you suddenly said out loud, hopping out of bed to go and get the tray from the bedside table. Getting out of bed, Lewis made his way to the bathroom, and eventually came back to the room in a couple of minutes, to find Roscoe munching away at some treats, while you had picked up a little folding table and placed it on the bed to rest the tray on. Feeling extremely happy once again, he climbed back onto the bed, and grabbed his share of the food on the table.

His phone began to vibrate, Toto's caller ID flashing across the screen. Groaning, he put the phone face down on the table, and ignored the call. "Why aren't you picking up ? It could be important you know" Sighing, he turned to you, "I spoke to him yesterday, and if its that important he can simply text me after I don't pick up. Plus I've seen him for three weeks straight, and now I want to spend time with YOU" pouting, he looked back at you, making you let out a snort of laughter at the look on his face. "Ok drama queen. Now eat your breakfast and then we can take a shower"

Smirking, he looked at you from the corner of his eye, "we?"

"Yes, now shut up and eat" you said, nudging him with a glint in your eyes.

"Yes ma'am"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After taking a shower together, and washing the dishes and the general monotonous household work, the both of you decided to take a walk along the beach, and take a frisbee along with you.

Dressing in the appropriate attire for the beach, you put Roscoe in his "ROSCOE 44" harness and walked out of the house. The beach was only five minutes away from your house, and you enjoyed the salty smell of the ocean air. It was a bright and sunny day, accompanied by a pleasant, cool ocean breeze as well. As you neared the golden sand, the bulldog bolted towards the sand, and ran right up to the water, and turned back to look inquiringly at the two of you. Laughing, you caught up with him, setting down the beach bag Lewis had packed for your beach day on a towel. Deciding to just relish in the Sun rays, you laid down a second towel, and removed your wrap around dress to lie in your bikini.

Lewis on the the other hand, decided to go for a swim in the water, and stripped off his t-shirt, so he remained in just his swim trunks. Looking over the top of your sunglasses, you couldn't help your gaze wandering all over his toned and muscled body, letting your eyes drink in the sculpted muscle and the tattoos that adorned his body, eyes lingering over each and every one, teeth unconsciously sinking onto your lower lip. "Enjoying the view?" his cocky voice made you look up at his face, still feeling slightly dazed.

"Yeah, because its mine to enjoy" you replied, throwing him a smirk. Rolling his eyes, he ran to the water to join Roscoe for a swim, while you watched with a smile on your face, as you watched your two boys chase the waves together. Whipping out your phone, you opened Instagram, to film the pair, and uploaded it onto your story with the caption : beach days with these two make everything better 🤍🤍

When the rays became too hot, you guys packed up your bags and made your way back home, stopping to buy some ice cream to beat the heat. Deciding to simply order some Chinese takeout food for dinner, with a bottle of wine, you settled down in front of your TV to have a movie night together. Lewis was in the kitchen, making some popcorn, and bringing you guys some wine as well.

Settling for 'Lion King' for your first movie, you let Lewis sit down, and prop his feet up on the pouffe in front of the sofa, while you tucked your feet up in the sofa, and laid your head down on his chest, his arm coming round your shoulder to hold you tightly. Roscoe sat by Lewis's feet, already asleep from the tiring day he had had at the beach. As Simba met Timon and Pumba, Lewis turned to look down at your face, "God, I Love You" smiling back at him, you leaned up to press your lips to his jaw. " I love you too"

Leaning his head down, he pressed his lips to yours, setting down the bowl of popcorn, to wrap his hands around your back, to keep you in place, as you pushed yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck, as his hands began sliding up your back to finally rest in your loose hair, while yours slid down to his toned shoulders, and straddled his lap. The kiss grew more and more desperate, until you two finally broke apart, for the need of oxygen, resting your foreheads against each other, breathing heavily. " I love you. You're so good to me"

"I love you more"

"Not possible"

The moment was broken by a loud "wuff" as you both turned to look at the dog, who had stood up and was now looking up at the two of you with a look that said 'get a room parents!' "Roscoe!' Lewis whined, "We were having a moment" Laughing, you got off his lap, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you. Now, we have to feed to dog"

'Mmhmm' he mumbled, leaning into your touch.

"If you get up now and set the table, I promise I'll lock the door so Roscoe doesn't come in tonight" you said, looking over your shoulder, to wink at him. Eyes darkening slightly, he turned to look at you, and walked right up to you, pressing his palm onto your waist. "You better lock that door tonight. No doggy trauma in this house"

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OK OK OK OK FIRST F1 FIC. let me know what you thought !

NO I HAD TO ADD THIS BECAUSE IT SUITS THIS STORY SO WELL. im soft 🥺❤

Thank you thank you thank you to @grandestrategia for the idea ❤

[momiji-bookhouse]

I love how you write albedo, would you mind doing him w/ 4am?

[4 am]: "if you're lonely, come be lonely with me"

100 Followers Event Prompts + Masterlist (Closed)

now playing: this side of paradise - coyote theory

pairing: Albedo x gn!reader

genre: honestly i dont even know what this is

a/n: Tk u! I'm still learning how to write for Albedo because he's a very complex character, so I hope I've been doing him justice. And this is the last event request!

Dragonspine is a place of secrets, a place of wonder and dangers alike. A place where even the everlasting snowfall cannot conceal the mysteries buried under its thick and pristine blanket even as eons passed.

It is a place not for those weak of heart and mind, but those with a wanderer's soul and a spark of curiosity that burns brighter than their fears will inevitably be drawn to this place like a haunting song.

There are few like that, and fewer still those who voluntary stay in this barren landscape in pursuit of answers to the most elusive questions regarding the world and its existence.

As such, Albedo has grown used to the silence accompanying him during these hours, when most are deep into the clutch of sleep, as he walks around the small camp engrossed in his work.

Nothing but the humming wind, the crackling of the fire and the occasional scribbling of pen on paper.

"Hello?" Albedo's eyes flicker to the entrance of the cave with lightning speed, his heart beating faster for a moment as his eyebrows furrow.

"Is anyone here?"

He decides not to answer less the person is one of those pesky Fatuis that loiter around Dragonspine. He remains in his position with his eyes on the mouth of the cave, but his Vision is glowing in preparation.

Sparkles gather in his hands as he readies to brandish his weapon at the sight of a silhouette, but they dissipate when he sees a very confused-looking you approaching very hesitantly.

"My apologies." You look just as taken aback as he is, almost jolting out of your skin as your eyes become impossibly wide. "I-I saw the fire, but I did not expect to see another human being here."

"No, it's quite alright, I was surprised as well." Albedo says while subtly giving you a once-over. He is certain he has never seen you in Mondstadt before, and you do not seem to wear the style of clothing that most people of Mondstadt wears. On the contrary, there's something foreign and almost ancient about your clothing, but he does not know enough about fashion to comment.

"Am I disturbing you? I can leave if you prefer."

Now that statement has him even more perplexed. No person with a sane mind would even think about walking around Dragonspine at this hour of night and even if they did, they would certainly not choose to venture back out to the cold when they saw a camp with a roaring fire. He knows he has a reputation of not being the best at interacting with people, but he is not about to turn you away.

"There's no need for that, you can come in and sit by the fire. I can prepare you a hot drink if you like."

"Thank you, but you do not have to worry about me. I just need a few minutes by the fire."

He nods and you glide into the seat, hands reaching out to feel the heat emanating from the flames. There are frostbites on your skin, and he wondered how long you were actually out in the cold, alone no less.

Albedo rarely ever have any guests coming to his workspace, so he is unsure of what to say or do during this moment. Should he leave you to your own devices? Or should he try to strike up a conversation with you and listen to the part in his brain that wants to know who you are and why you're here?

But you've already spoke up before he can reach a conclusion.

"Apologies, it has been a while since I interact with another person," you say sheepishly. "Frankly, I do not know what to say right now."

He almost breathes a sigh of relief. "I'm not the best at talking with others, too. I'm Albedo, Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favonius."

"The Knights of Favonius?" You tilt your head to one side as a confused look pass by your face, as if though you've never heard of that name before. "I see."

"And you?"

You lower your hands, and he sees the way your lips thinned as a hesitant look pass by your face.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," he reassures, not wanting to push you. "You can stay here for the night. I can set up a sleeping bag for you."

Albedo is just about to go get the bag for you when he hears your voice again.

"(Y/N)."

He turns to look at you, your face lowered while your eyes are trained on the fire. "My name is (Y/N)."

He tries to offer a smile. "That's a beautiful name. Let me go get the bag for you, you must be tired."

Albedo rustles behind the shelves, mind reeling from your strange behavior. There's something about you that he can't put a finger on, something forlorn about your whole countenance that makes him question just how long you've actually gone without human interaction.

(Not that he's human, but he digresses)

He finally takes out the sleeping bag and dusts it off. "I would like to apologize beforehand for any noise I'll be making. I still have work to do, so you can go to sleep whenever you want-"

His words are cut off when he returns to see no one by the fire, the seat that you once occupied now empty. He drops the bag and rushes out of the camp, his head whirling frantically around, but there's no sight of you. And there's no footprints on the snow either.

Albedo runs back inside, thinking maybe you're behind one of the shelves, but there is no trace of you. No mark or anything to prove that you were once here. Even the chair that you sat on has no warmth to it, as if though no one was ever there to begin with.

And he is alone, once more.

[delaber]

Coming Home

Note: The fic no one asked for but I still wrote because I had to. Pretty sure this will be my last Rafa fic. It’s been a ride. Thank you!

Words: 7.7K

It was one of those blisteringly hot days where all you wanted to do was to laze about in front of a fan with your feet up and eat popsicles in the hopes of cooling just a tiny bit down. The sun was scorching and there was little to no wind at all, making it close to unbearable to be out of the shade for more than two minutes at a time - but unfortunately, you found yourself stuck in the middle of a very sunny lawn at Nat's garden-themed birthday party. Several times during the day, you had caught yourself looking jealously towards the enticing pool area at the end of the lawn but unfortunately had to settle for self-administered time-outs in the shade under various palm trees that were lining the garden.

At one of said time-outs, the birthday girl Nat approached you with a huge smile and two drinks in hand, "oh, there you are!" She exclaimed happily as she reached the same tree as you and handed you one of the piña coladas she was holding, "I've been looking all over!"

"Sorry," you smiled at your best friend and accepted the cocktail she was offering you, "I needed to cool down for a bit," you said while fanning your hand in front of your face

"Ooh, great idea - make room for me," Nat too stepped under the shade of the palm tree and immediately started fanning her top, "Jesus Christ, it's hot today!"

"Well, you were the one to insist on not having gazebos for your party," you shot your best friend a small smile, "it ruins the aesthetic," you mimicked her words from a few days ago with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up!" Nat let out a chortle, "I clearly made a terrible decision."

"Yeah, you should always listen to me and Diggs," you chuckled while having a sip of your tropical drink, enjoying how it slowly seemed to lower your core temperature as soon as the cold liquid hit your oesophagus.

"Hey, speaking of; have you seen him?" Nat squinted her eyes while shooting her phone a glance, "he's not answering any of my texts."

"I talked to him over by the snacks a little over an hour ago," you pointed over your shoulder, "he said he had to take off for a bit."

"He had to take off?" Nat furrowed her eyebrows, looking directly at you with disbelief written all over her face. From her expression alone, you could tell what was going through her head; as Nat's long-term boyfriend, Diggs knew exactly how important her birthday was to her. "That's seems a bit out of character..." she mumbled sadly.

"Aww, don't worry - he'll be back in a bit."

"What was so important for him to do on today of all days?" Nat sounded crestfallen.

"Come on Nat, what kind of an errand could he possibly have to run on his girlfriend's birthday?" You rolled your eyes.

"...But he already got me a present," she fiddled with the shiny new bracelet around her wrist.

"Maybe he's getting you a surprise," you shrugged mysteriously.

"Really?" The sad look on Nat's face was quickly replaced by wide eyes accompanied by a broad smile, "A surprise?"

"Don't tell him I said anything!" you laughed.

"Well, did he tell you what it was?"

"Nope... He probably knew we'd end up having this conversation," you chuckled.

"Slick bastard," Nat muttered under her breath before her voice returned to normal, "well, I hope he gets back soon. Of course I'm excited about the surprise but I don't want him missing out on the party."

As if on cue, a loud clanking noise coming from the shrub-embedded gate at the other end of the lawn had both you and Nat whip your heads around; Diggs had stepped inside the closed-off garden with a huge smile plastered on his face, stopping as soon as his feet hit the soft grass. He scanned the area for the birthday girl, and when his gaze finally landed on Nat, you watched how his face immediately turned soft as their eyes met across the lawn.

"Ah, there he is," Nat sighed happily as she took in her handsome boyfriend.

"...yeah, but he's empty handed," you added with a sigh after a quick scan for a birthday present in his open palms.

"Oh, you're right. Must be something he can stow away in a pocket..."

"Or something that's too heavy for him to carry alone," you added.

"Either way I'm just glad he's back," Nat said dreamily and send Diggs a small wave to which he replied with a sappy smile and a wink.

"Ah, I'm third-wheeling so hard right now," you gagged and with a grin turned your back towards Diggs in the hopes of making it less awkward for yourself.

"Yeah, sorry babe," Nat was biting her lower lip, trying to contain herself as she gazed at her handsome boyfriend over your shoulder.

"You look terribly confused all of a sudden," you laughed as you took in Nat's furrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah, he's just... standing there - why is he not moving?"

"What? He's standing completely still?" you arched an eyebrow, looking at Nat who still wasn't sparing you a glance.

"No, he's... looking for something on the other side of the hedges. And he's talking to someone - I think?"

"On the phone?"

"No... - oh wait, looks like he brought someone along."

"He brought someone?" you repeated curiously, "who?"

"I don't know. I don't recognise him..." Nat looked confused as she squinted her eyes, trying to focus on what was happening at the other end of the lawn. Then suddenly, her face changed, "- hey, is that...? No - wait... - Oh my god! It is!" She finally whipped her head around, looking directly at you with huge eyes, "he's here."

"...Who is?" you looked at her confused.

Nat didn't have time to answer your question before a male voice that you didn't immediately recognise rang from behind you, "Ey yo, Nat!"

"I'm sorry..." Nat whispered, "- but I have to..." she shot you a pained look before she moved past you with a squeal as she briskly walked away from the shade under the palm tree.

Confused, you spun around and scanned the lawn for Diggs and his mystery companion. Diggs had put on one of his more colourful outfits, and your eyes were immediately drawn to him and the smug smile he was wearing as he took in Nat who was now running at full-speed towards a sharp-dressed man to his right.

"Rafa!" Nat exclaimed loudly as she fell into the well-dressed man's arms, "you're here! I can't believe it!" she squealed.

The mere sound of his name made the hairs on the back of your neck stand while the blood quickly drained from your face. You instantly felt your throat go dry and your head dizzying as Nat's words rang in your ears. Rafa was here? Rafa as in Rafael? No, it couldn't be...

You adjusted your gaze slightly but sure enough; there he was. In the middle of the lawn in a tight embrace with your best friend. None other than Rafael Casal.

That. Fucking. Prick.

"You're kidding me..." you mumbled under your breath.

What the fuck was he doing here?!

You immediately felt your heart rate increasing and your palms getting sweaty as you took him in. He had grown a beard and cut his hair short, making the area above his forehead strangely lonely without its familiar swoop of hair that he had been so fond of back when you had known him. Your eyes travelled across his face that was plastered with the toothy grin you had once loved, and down to the strong arms that you had once known every vein of. There weren't any tattoos on his arms that you didn't recognise but he had definitely built more muscle mass since the last time you'd seen him.

You had to admit that even though you were more than regularly annoyed with him, he looked good - he just didn't look like Rafa. Not your Rafa at least. He looked more man than jokester, a ghost of the boy you'd once called yours.

When the tight embrace in front of you finally ended, Rafa straightened up and looked over Nat's shoulder, his green eyes immediately piercing through you. He did a quick scan of you from the tip of your sneakers to the top of your head, and if it hadn't been for the fact that you knew that you looked good in your new dress, you might have grown flustered under his intense stare - but you didn't. He could stare all he wanted and meanwhile use the opportunity to think about what he had let go of - what he was missing out on!

He looked you up and down a few times and when his eyes reached yours, he sent you a tentative look and a careful smile that you didn't reciprocate. After all, pretending that Rafael Casal meant absolutely nothing to you was something you had perfected over the years.

When he finally realised that your face would remain stone cold and without the smallest trace of friendliness, he quickly looked back at Nat and sent her a broad smile as she began mumbling something to him about how he was the last person she'd expected to see today.

Meanwhile, you used the opportunity to march over to Diggs and pull him aside; "what the hell do you think you're doing?!" You hissed at him, your voice so low that only he could hear.

"Oh, I'm just watching my best friend and my girl reconcile after years apart," he smirked, his eyes still locked on the two friends talking excitedly in the middle of the lawn.

"Don't get smart with me, Diggs!" You said through gritted teeth, "why the fuck didn't you tell me that he was coming? You know how I feel about him! He's a snake!"

"Jesus Christ," Diggs rolled his eyes, "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. If you'd known that I was picking him up at the airport, you would've ended up faking an excuse to leave before I'd returned."

"And with good reason! You know what he did! I don't want to talk to him!"

"You need to resolve this shit between the two of you," he shrugged, "You need to learn to be in the same room as him. It's been way too long already, and it cannot go on like this forever."

"Oh, watch me!" You huffed childishly, looking over at Rafa's dumb smile as he said something incoherent to Nat.

"Bruh..." Daveed cocked his head and sent you an unimpressed look, "He didn't come to mess with you. He came for Nat... He misses her."

"- but," you tried to interject but Diggs immediately cut you off: "- And before you say anything -" he continued, "- look at how happy she is!" he gestured to Nat who had now gone back to hugging Rafa tightly, "I know that her loyalty to you dictates that she has to hate him or whatever, but she has clearly missed him too. So if you can't do it for yourself, please just behave yourself for Nat."

A guilty pang hit your chest when you looked at Nat's happy smile, and you realised that she had cut off all contact with Rafa for your sake. "For the record; I never told her she couldn't talk to him," you mumbled.

"I know," Diggs nodded, "that's just how good of a friend she is."

"Alright... I'll behave for Nat," you sighed with a slight scowl before you quickly continued, "- but I'm not going to talk to him! No way!"

Diggs shot his hands in the air in a surrendering manner, "hey: normal, regular behaviour is all I'm asking for! You can ignore him for all I care - just be civil."

You didn't answer Diggs but instead continued to scowl as you watched Rafa and Nat having a giggle about something. The sound of Rafa's obnoxiously loud laugh swimming in your ear canals made your stomach go annoyingly warm, and for a millisecond you actually wished that he was laughing at something dumb alongside you instead of Nat - or at least you wished for it until you reminded yourself of what he had done, and the familiar anger towards him soon returned.

"Aw, come on," Diggs let out a laugh when he saw your angry face. He gave your shoulder a playful shove before he put his arm around you, "let's get you a drink - you look like you need it."

"Yes, I need it!" you groaned as he led you away from Nat and Rafa, "- and a big one too 'cause my dumb friends had my nemesis fly in from New York behind my back."

Diggs laughed a little at your miserable tone of voice, "cheer up," he chuckled, pulling you a little closer, "...and to be fair, I did the inviting. Nat had nothing to do with this."

"God, you're the worst," you mumbled as you reached the self-service bar, "I cannot believe you'd spring this on me after what he did!"

"Come on. It's been three years," Daveed shrugged and smiled down at you before he pulled out two clean glasses.

"That's easy for you to say when you weren't implicated in it," you mumbled sourly without looking directly at him.

"I may not have been directly involved, but you know I still got caught up in the middle," Diggs sent you a short look before he poured both of you a drink, "- and I still am."

"How?" You said incredulously, "I literally never talk about him."

"Exactly," Diggs shot you a sideways glance as he screwed off the cap of a tonic water, "you never talk about him. It's forced."

"It's forced? Since when is not talking about your asshole of an ex-boyfriend forced?"

"I know you miss him," Diggs said softly and sent you a careful look.

You forced yourself to scoff as you accepted the gin tonic from him, "I have no idea what you're talking about! I literally could not care less about Rafael at all," you looked across the lawn and immediately caught Rafa's gaze that was aimed directly at you. His eyes were huge, his gaze soft and longing. You thought to yourself that he looked as if he was the one who'd been wronged all those years ago. As if you were the one who had disappeared off to New York before royally fucking everything up. Which you absolutely weren't!

-

Rafa had been annoying as hell all night! Whenever you were no more than a few milliseconds away from letting down your hair and forget about the fact that your nemesis was attending the same party as you, you could hear his annoying foghorn of a laugh in the group of people next to you. And although you were trying your absolute best to avoid him completely, he still seemed to be all over, somehow always within a ten-foot radius from you, his cutting-torch-like voice constantly poking at your eardrums.

You were successful in avoiding him up until around midnight when you unfortunately were careless enough to lay down your guard for a few seconds too long, not realising that he had approached you at the self-service bar while you had been looking around for a lime for your drink. "Hey," you heard a low growl behind you as you were cutting the citrus into wedges.

You didn't have to look up from the table to know who the voice belonged to. "Rafael," you said neutrally while screwing off the cap of the tequila bottle you were holding, pouring up a couple of ounces of liquid without sparing him a glance.

"Hmm... Ra-fa-el," he repeated slowly, dragging out the name and smacking his lips as if savouring how it rolled off his tongue, "you know what? I don't think I've ever heard you call me Ra-fa-el before."

With your gaze still firmly placed on the tequila-filled glass in front of you, you arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything as you continued working on the cocktail, desperate to not give in to his antics.

You could feel his gaze burning on your skin, his eyes following your every move as you poured Cointreau into the cocktail glass and quietly waited for him to leave you alone again. He didn't budge, however, and when he realised that you intended to keep your silence, he quietly asked, "...How are you doing?"

"Great," you said and pressed your lips firmly together.

"Good..." Out the corner of your eye, you could see his head bopping up and down as he took you in, "I - uhm - I always liked you in green, you know," he grinned cockily. You knew he was just acting this way to get your attention but annoyingly enough; it was working for him. His comment made you dart your eyes towards him, shooting him an unimpressed sigh that he reciprocated with a careful smile, anxious to see if his compliment had tugged at your heartstrings. But even though his words had made your head dizzy and your diaphragm contract considerably, you still managed to keep a straight face as you took him in. His gaze was soft and satisfied, and a strange feeling hit your guts when you looked into his green eyes for the first time in over three years. Seeing the familiarity of his overly confident gaze made you realise that he hadn't exactly turned into the destructive villain that you had made him out to be after he had moved to New York three years ago. Behind the masculine beard and the buzzcut, the jokester with the soft chin and the long quiff was still in there. Your Rafa was still in there, and for a tenth of a second it made your heart ache as you wished for a time that he had long ago ruined.

He had clearly realised that you were checking him out because slowly, yet surely, his smirk grew considerably while he maintained eye-contact. It made you furious! He. Did. Not. Have. The. Upper. Hand. Taking in your angry expression, he shifted the weight on his feet while giving out a low chuckle, "I guess what I mean to tell you is that you look good. Like really good! - even when you're fuming."

"You look old," you stated flatly to make him stop feeling so overly confident.

To your dismay, however, he wasn't the least bit hurt by your comment but instead spluttered happily and let out a loud laugh, making the crow's feet around his green irises dance around as his eyes squinted tightly together in amusement. He looked irritatingly handsome, and it made you even more annoyed with him; he wasn't supposed to be amused by your low blow, he was supposed to be devastated!

You chewed your bottom lip as he annoyingly confident ran a hand through his beard and took you in with his forever playful smile. The fairy lights surrounding the self-service bar caught something shiny around his wrist as he caressed his chin, and you recognised the piece of metal immediately. It made you scoff, "you really still have that?" You nodded towards the golden band around his arm that you had given him for his 25th birthday some years ago. Even though it had been quite expensive, you'd figured that he had thrown it out long ago.

"You're kidding me?" He said incredulously, furrowing his brows and fiddling with the shiny links around his arm, "of course I still have this! It means a lot to me, I wear it every day!" He sent you a tentative smile, once again checking to see if he was so lucky that his words had defrosted you.

He wasn't.

"What?" He asked with an amused twinkle in his eyes when he took in your unimpressed face, "I swear; It's one of my most treasured possessions."

"Rafael... Just..." You let out a small sigh and folded your arms across your chest, "- just drop the pleasantries and tell me why you're really here," you demanded, "I highly doubt you're here to small talk."

"Aw come on - I'm just here for Nat's party. I didn't come to stir shit up. I promise!" He looked at you with honest eyes, still with a trace of a smile on his lips.

"Then why are you attacking me at the drinks table?" You were surprised to hear how steady you managed to keep your voice when it felt as if your entire body was shaking.

"I just wanted to say hi," he shot you a careful look, taking in every movement of your facial muscles, "You've been avoiding me all day."

"Wonder why," you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, looking away from him.

"I know it seems like an unnecessary question but are you still angry with me?" He asked, his smile still in place but suddenly a bit stiff.

"I was angry at first. Now I don't really care about you anymore," you smiled overly-sweetly.

"Yeah okay," Rafa's stiff smile faltered a bit and it looked as if you'd finally managed to knock him slightly off his course. This probably wasn't how he had imagined the conversation to go. It was a nice feeling to see him slightly panicked. "Ehm..." he smacked his lips, "would you like me to leave?"

"Yes," you breathed, but even you could hear the thickness of the lie in your throat. Even though you were keen on keeping your distance to him, you were still terribly curious as to why he had passed you up three years after your horrible break-up. After all, it had ended in lies and angry tears.

His smirk turned amused, and he could barely hold back a triumphant chuckle when he spoke, "I can tell you're not being serious," he tilted his head to the side.

"My God, you are insufferable!" you said through gritted teeth, "just tell me why you're here!"

"Well..." he licked his lips before he slowly stated, "Sofía's pregnant."

He had barely finished pronouncing the word pregnant before you felt the blood immediately drain from your face. "You're... having a baby?" You breathed and blinked a few times, bracing yourself for his answer. After everything that had happened, you couldn't believe that the mental image of Rafa with someone else was still able to make your stomach ache horribly, and you were immediately reminded of the fact that you hadn't left him because you had fallen out of love with him.

"Am I having a...-? Oh God no!" He laughed when he understood, "Sofía as in my sister! My sister is pregnant! I'm about to be an uncle. Tio Rafa."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you when his words finally settled, and the blood quickly returned to your cheeks making them unbearably hot. "Well, congratulations then, I guess," you mumbled, trying to conceal your flustered face.

"Thanks!" He smiled proudly and put on a goofy expression.

"I still fail to see what your sister's pregnancy has to do with me."

"Well, you see..." he licked his lips, "Sofía and her boyfriend are constantly talking about baby-stuff, and who in their lives are important to them, and insurances, and dying wills, and things like that - and I guess it kinda made me think about stuff in my life too," he gave out an awkward shrug, shooting you a careful look, "you know... Unresolved matters and so on..."

"...and then you thought about me?" You scoffed.

"Yeah," he nodded carefully, "I miss you."

"Rafael..." you closed your eyes and sighed in disbelief.

"Oof," he winced and it made you open your eyes and look at him. "- could you stop calling me that?" He looked pained, "It's - it's weird!"

"Well it is your name, isn't it?"

"I know, I know... Hearing it from you is just - it's just weird..." he mumbled while rubbing his neck, "only strangers call me by my first name."

"We're practically strangers."

"We are?" He looked taken aback.

You shot him a sideways glance, "yes, we are Rafael," you sighed and watched how his nostrils did an involuntary twitch at the sound of his given name.

He merely grunted while shooting you a weird look.

"What?" You asked incredulously, "you don't agree?"

"No. No, not at all," he shook his head, "I know you."

"Not anymore you don't," you turned back to your drink, stirring it a little just to give your shaking hands something to do.

"I know every freckle of your body..." he said quietly, his voice so full of emotion that it made your heart ache. "I know why you have a scar on your left knee," he continued, "I know all your guilty pleasures. What makes you tick. Your likes. Your dislikes. Of course I realise that we didn't end optimally but you can't pretend that we don't know each other," he ran a hand through his beard.

As soon as the words had escaped his mouth, you shot him an angry look, "we didn't end optimally?!" You hissed at him, "well, it was your fucking choice to end it that way, wasn't it?"

"Ah, so you are still mad at me," He stated flatly, taking in your expression.

You managed to turn off some of the fire you felt in your eyes before you spoke, "No I'm not, Rafael. As I said, I don't care about you at all," you said coldly, "Is that all? Can I go back to my best friend's birthday party now, or are you in the mood to ruin yet another one of my nights?" You shot him a deadpan look.

"I can't force you to talk to me," he said quietly, his eyes huge with disappointment.

"What do you even want to talk about?" Your voice was laced with frustration, "it's been three years! I've moved on - I don't need this, Rafa!" You wanted to smack yourself when you realised that you had let his pet name slip.

"I just want to apologise. Properly..." he said quietly while awkwardly rubbing his elbow, decent enough to let the use of his nickname slide.

"Apologising is not going to change what happened."

"I know... but you still deserve a proper apology from the guy who hurt you."

You gave out a scoff but didn't say anything.

"Look," Rafa continued, "can you please just give me ten minutes alone with you? Some place quiet. Ten minutes and I swear, I'll never talk to you again if you don't want me to. I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I think we both need it."

You weighed the pros and cons. Maybe it would actually be good for you to get some closure so you could finally forget about him? You decided that you might as well try. It'd be nice to stop thinking about him for good. "Fine! You have ten minutes and not a second more!" you said sternly, "but let me be very clear about one thing: I am not doing this for you!"

"I know," he nodded slowly, and followed you to a deserted bench a little away from the rest of the party.

He sat down next to you with a content sound, "Cig?" he asked while holding out a crumbled package.

"I quit," you pushed the package away, your fingers briefly brushing over his. It made him smile slightly but he quickly concealed it by clearing his throat.

"Good for you," Rafa nodded while lighting a cigarette for himself, taking a long drag while looking at you. "So..." he said quietly, "I hear that you finally landed that job you used to work so hard for."

"If you just wanted to smoke cigarettes and small talk, we didn't have to go all the way back here," you crossed your arms.

"Tough crowd," he laughed, "come on. Just humour me for a bit... I miss talking to you."

You scoffed, "you have nine minutes and fourty-five seconds left, Casal."

"Nine minutes and fourty-five seconds," he nodded in agreement, "so... that job of yours - congratulations! Your hard work finally paid off, huh?" He tried again.

"Have you been stalking my linked-in?" You said sourly.

"Nah, Diggs gives me little updates," Rafa chuckled awkwardly, "-or he did for a while at least. Up until about a year ago when he got real angry with me," Rafa clenched his teeth tightly together, looking uncomfortable.

"Diggs got angry?" You said in disbelief. Out of the two, Rafa was definitely the hot-headed one.

"Oh shit, yeah!" He nodded with a laugh, "I know it's hard to believe because it's such a rare occurrence but that just made it so much scarier! For a second, I thought he would punch me in the face!"

"Well, that should teach you to keep your abnormally large nose out of my business," you scoffed slightly.

"That's what he said too," Rafa chuckled, "-and that if I wanted to know how you were doing, I should give you a call myself," he sent you a small smile, "- but I knew you would have my balls in a wrench if I suddenly called you up out of the blue."

"Correct."

He smiled, "yet here we are. Talking quietly without screaming at each other. My balls free as ever."

"You're lucky I left my wrench at home today, Casal."

He let out an amused snort and took another drag of the cigarette, "yeah, I can't believe my luck this evening," he smiled without looking at you, "hey, while we're on the subject of updates; I - uhm - I also want to let you know that I heard about your dad. I was very sad to learn about his passing."

You felt a sharp pain in your chest, and you held your arms a little closer to your chest, "Diggs told you about that too, huh?" You mumbled, unable to look Rafa in the eye. Even though little over two years had passed since your dad had died, thinking about him still hurt.

You felt Rafa nod beside you, "Yeah. He called me right after it happened... I know your dad meant a great deal to you. Meant a great deal to me too to be honest..." he sighed.

"I know..." you thought of the special bond the two men had always shared. Even long before you and Rafa had fallen in love, your dad had hoped that you would end up together.

"I was seconds away from flying home to see him off at the funeral, you know - but given how you and I ended things, I didn't think you should deal with me on top of losing your dad..." he shot you a sideways glance.

You decided not to tell Rafa about how you had woken up on the morning of the funeral, wishing that he had been there. Wishing that everything had magically gone back to normal overnight. Instead, you merely mumbled, "you should've come. My dad would've loved that... He always liked you."

"Yeah, I liked him too," Rafa nodded, "I still think about him every time I hear a terrible joke or see someone in a Laker's shirt."

"Oh god, all those fucking shirts," you groaned and thought of the hundreds of basketball shirts that your dad had had stacked neatly away in his closet. You couldn't believe that you had completely forgotten about them.

Rafa chuckled, "what did you end up doing with them? I imagine that you donated them in your dad's spirit."

"Naturally," you nodded and felt yourself uncross your arms for the first time since you'd sat down. "My mom kept one, and the orphanage got most but we auctioned off the rarest ones and gave the money to charity. That was what he wanted, you know."

"Ah, what an icon," Rafa sighed, "well, you should be proud of him and the work he did for the community. He was a great man. A proper role model for the bay."

You nodded in agreement while scanning Rafa. It was nice to talk about your dad with someone who knew him but who hadn't seen him fragile and sick. Someone who didn't think of him as his diagnosis, and you realised that for the first time since his passing, things actually seemed fairly back to normal. Sitting side by side with Rafa actually felt welcome and normal. Maybe you'd grant him a couple of minutes more of your time.

Rafa's eyes skirted away from you, and he nervously cleared his throat before he continued, "Uhm... not that it matters but did you - did you ever tell him about what happened between us?"

"My dad? No..." you shook your head with a sad sigh, "he loved you like his own son, and I didn't want to break his heart. So I just told him that we couldn't make the whole long distance-thing work."

"Oh, right... Thanks," Rafa nodded.

"I didn't do it for you."

"Still... I'm glad he didn't get to know that side of me. I'm not so sure he would've liked me if he'd known the truth about how I broke his daughter's heart."

"I'm not so sure either..."

"I - I hated myself after, you know," He looked over at you with a pained expression after a couple of seconds of silence, "I have never regretted anything more in my entire life."

"What? Not going to the funeral?"

"No. You know... What I did..." he said sheepishly.

"Oh..."

"The minute I woke up I - I wanted to undo everything," he looked at you pleadingly, "I felt so fucking terrible. Still do. I can't even think about it without wanting to stab myself. It is without a doubt the worst thing I have ever done, and I am so sorry for the pain it caused you," he said softly, "please understand that I didn't do it because I didn't love you. It wasn't because you weren't enough or something like that. You were perfect to me. I take full responsibility for the fuck-up, and I am so, so horribly fucking sorry!"

"Rafa, it's..." you gulped, the words somehow stuck in your throat. You were having a hard time acting as if his words meant nothing to you.

He carefully put his hand on top of yours before he continued, "do you think we would've been able to work around the long distance if I hadn't...?"

"Please don't..." you whispered and sent him a soft yet warning look, "I don't want to talk about what might've been."

"No, no of course not..." he nodded quietly, "I just - I can't believe it's been three years... Fuck baby I've missed you so bad," he carefully moved his thumb over the back of your hand and searched your face with furrowed eyebrows, "You have no idea of the relief I felt when I finally saw you today," he said quietly.

"Don't do this..." you closed your eyes and whispered.

Rafa continued as if he hadn't heard you, "I know we didn't work out the way neither of us pictured it but that doesn't mean you weren't the best thing that's ever happened to me..." he sounded desperate, and you couldn't look at him. The words he was saying was making you want to fall into his arms, "...I never should've let you go."

"Rafa," you sighed and summoned all your strength and looked into his glossy eyes, "you didn't let me go," your voice barely a whisper, "I broke up with you."

"I know, I know," his voice was oozing with pain, "but I hope you realise that I would've done everything to win you back. I would've come back to California if you'd only asked me to. Fuck the record deal."

"There was a reason why I didn't ask you to come back," you shot him a glance in warning, "you know that."

"Still, I should have done... something."

"You did exactly what I asked of you."

"Yeah... I stayed the fuck away from you," he mumbled. You could tell that he was replaying your last tearful conversation in his mind before he heaved a big gulp of air and glanced over at you with a valiant look in his eyes, "but I've come back to remind you who I really am."

"You don't have to remind me of anything... I remember who you were. What we had."

"Then let me be that guy for you again," he looked at you pleadingly.

"What's the point when you're still 3,000 miles away?" You sighed, "It's not as if we'll happen upon each other at the supermarket and go out for spontaneous coffees."

"Could be," he said with a small shrug, "I - uh - I'm moving back," he nervously ran his fingers through his short hair, "I want to be close to Sofía and the baby - and you."

"You're coming home?" You gulped. You couldn't believe him. Was this a good thing?

"Yes," he breathed, "And I want to try things out with you again. Please give me another chance..." his fingers moved from your hand to your knee. You briefly considered his words while you felt his thumb caress you through the green fabric of your dress. Right now, you were fighting hard to not give in to his embrace and the familiar set of lips in front of you, but you weren't sure how you'd feel about it come morning, so you remained poised.

He sensed your hesitation, however, and carefully put his forehead to yours "come on, baby," he said quietly and softly kissed your cheek, his lips warm against your skin.

"I don't know," you gulped as you involuntarily closed your eyes and breathed him in.

"It's okay," he said with whispered words, the stubble on his chin rough against your cheekbone, "you don't have to give me an answer right away," he gently kissed your jawline while his hand travelled from your kneecap to your fingertips, clearly desperate to remind you of what you could have back if you only agreed to let him in again.

"Rafa, I don't know," you said quietly although it was becoming harder and harder to remain steadfast and ignore his burning lips on your skin.

"Just consider it," he kissed the corner of your mouth, "I'll crawl. I'll beg," he whispered and pursed his lips against yours, "I'll do anything," he moved his body closer to yours, "just consider it," he whispered and placed a particularly gentle kiss to your already buzzing lips, "please baby."

You couldn't help yourself any longer and you involuntarily twitched your lips against his before you felt yourself being completely engulfed by him. The passionate kiss you shared was soft and bittersweet, reminding both of you of what had been.

His hands were caressing your neck and hairline and he hummed into your mouth as he savoured the feeling of finally having you kiss him back. "Fuck I've missed this," he gulped when he broke away and put his forehead to yours, his hand still on your cheek, "does this mean you'll at least consider it?"

"I'm still angry with you," you whispered without really answering his question.

"I know, love..." he caressed your cheek, "I was stupid," he searched your face, "it was a stupid mistake."

"Don't reduce it to a stupid mistake, Rafa," you whispered.

"Poor choice of words," he mumbled, "what I mean to say is that I hope you can forgive it," he placed a soft kiss to your jawline, "- forgive me."

"Even if I did forgive you, how do you expect me to ever trust you again?" You said quietly, and you knew that you couldn't dance around the elephant in the room any longer. "Rafa you had another girl's lips wrapped around your dick not even twenty-four hours after crying in my arms at the airport," you said with a heavy heart and watched him cringe his face at the harsh truth, "twenty-four after you'd sworn you'd do anything to make our relationship work despite the distance."

Rafa was still wincing when he spoke, "not that it's any excuse at all but I was exhausted and drunk and heartbroken," he croaked, "I had just left the love of my life behind in California... and this other girl was suddenly there and she got me high as balls and she-" he sighed without finishing his own sentence, "trust me when I say that it was the worst night of my life," he closed his eyes in a sad attempt at holding the tears at bay.

"Well at least you got a nice blowjob out of it." You smiled humourlessly, "I just wound up with all the lies you threw in my face."

"I never lied to you..." he mumbled, "I came clean as soon as you confronted me."

"How big of you!" you scoffed.

"Baby... I didn't tell you because I was so embarrassed," he gulped, the tears now evident under his green irises, "I wanted to throw myself off a cliff! I knew that if I told you, it would be the definite end of us," he looked at you with huge, bloodshot eyes, "I couldn't do that."

"I need you to understand that the worst part of it wasn't that you cheated on me. The worst part was that you pretended that nothing had happened at all," you couldn't tell whether the tears you felt in the corners of your eyes were from being angry or sad, "Imagine how dumb I felt when Diggs finally broke down and told me what you'd done," you said and Rafa suddenly couldn't hold back the tears any longer either.

"I wanted to tell you. Trust me, I wanted to," he sobbed.

"You had three weeks to say something to me for fuck's sake!"

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered.

"We facetimed every night for three weeks and you didn't say anything! You made a complete fool of me!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" his eyes fixed at his own feet.

"Rafa, look at me!" you said in a harsh tone of voice.

Immediately, his red eyes found yours. He looked as ashamed of himself as he possibly could, "I was a coward," he whimpered, "-and I knew didn't deserve you."

"Then what makes you think you deserve me now?" You said coldly.

"I have spent the last three years trying to forget about you and what happened but no matter what I do, you still linger in the back of my mind. Even after all this time you're the only one I can ever see myself with. I always return to you. On sleepless nights, you're dancing on the back of my eyelids. I see you in other girls when I pass them by on the street. You're in all my poetry. All my songs. I think about you constantly. Maybe I don't deserve you but I at least had to try."

"Rafa you broke my heart," you looked him dead in the eye and he visibly gulped, "you betrayed my trust and you did it in the most despicable way I could ever imagine. It's been three years and I still cannot believe that you of all people would do that to me. You were my ride or die."

"I can still be that," he said desperately, clinging on to the last bit of hope he had in him, "I'm still that guy! The guy who cheated on you that wasn't me! I wasn't myself! I'm aware of the agony it caused, and trust me: I've learned from my mistakes," he looked at you resolutely before he whispered, "I'm still your ride or die."

His words made your stomach hurt and you felt the heat rise throughout your body as your throat clenched tightly together. You felt suffocated and stood up from the bench so fast that black spots distorted your vision. "I can't do this!" you said desperately, "it's too much!"

"Okay," he gulped, looking up at you with desperation written across his face.

"I have to go back to the party. Nat expects me to be there for her."

"Alright," he gulped. He was having a hard time concealing his obvious disappointment.

"Don't look at me like that!" you whimpered, "what did you expect? That you could shed a few tears and everything would be alright again?"

"No, of course not..."

"Then don't look so fucking disappointed! You're making me feel like the bad guy and I haven't even done anything!"

"I know," he gulped.

"Yet you still think a drunk conversation erases everything? That I will take you back just because you're feeling sorry? You obviously don't realise the damage you caused."

"Then tell me!" He too stood up from his seat, "I want to make things alright again," he pleaded.

"I don't need you to make things alright again! I was doing just fine before you showed up!"

"Okay, I'm sorry," he sheepishly picked at his own elbow, "I just thought that maybe you felt the same way about me."

"I don't want you back!" You said roughly.

As soon as the harsh words had escaped your lips, you could see the heartbreak on his face; his cheeks paled, his lips quivered, a single tear left his right eye as he looked away. He ran his hand over the corners of his mouth, unable to look directly at you, "right," he said as a fresh set of tears formed in his eyes, "I'm sorry... I - uh - I had to try,” he sobbed although he was fighting to hold his voice steady, “I - uhm - I don't know what to say…”

"Don't say anything..."

"...so this is it?" His eyes found yours, "...for good?"

You nodded slowly but didn't say anything.

You watched how he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly without any words escaping him. He looked flustered, panicked almost when you turned around and stepped away from him. You could hear him panic-shift around behind you but he still didn't talk. He had probably expected you to take him back with open arms - anything but this!

Good. He deserved to fry a little.

And maybe you'd call him tomorrow. Just maybe.

[serenityseventeen]

Dino (이찬):

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“Oh, the Jealousy.”

synopsis: You and Chan adopt a puppy and you completely fall in love with the puppy that you forget about your boyfriend who is becoming more and more jealous of the puppy.

genre: fluff-ish

pairing: boyfriend!chan x reader ft. pomeranian

a/n: I am just sitting here snacking on sunflower kernels and going to watch Mouse because Jeonghan likes it and I'm a sucker for thriller-mystery. I want to learn the ‘positions’ choreography but I'm not confident so I'll push it back. + I NEED THE WEATHER TO BE NICER + 1st gif: what Chan is like when he's jealous, 2nd gif: why not, he's hot in blonde hair

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Chan sat still, his jealousy rising, nearing its peak.

The TV was on but no one was paying attention to it. You had the newly adopted dog in your arms, treating it like a newborn baby, paying attention to only the puppy. Chan let out a sigh and tried to look away from your direction, but of course, his eyes could only draw back to you.

You were kissing the puppy so affectionately and letting it bury itself into your arms. How long has it been, 30 minutes since Chan had been rejected?

Sometimes Chan would just scoff to himself while pretending to be paying attention to the television. His head was running wild.

He couldn't believe that a puppy had taken his place. Usually, he would be the one to be laying in your arms as you caressed his hair lovingly, but now you were doing the same thing to a puppy. The puppy was in your arms and you were rubbing its belly.

Plus, your beautiful smile whenever you caressed Chan's hair was just like how you were looking at Hunter, the new dog. Chan was just snacking on whatever was nearby, giving side glances to you. Each time he did, he would be reminded of the times where he would be in the position as Hunter.

Chan just scoffed wryly again. Part of him didn't want to believe that he was jealous of a dog but part of him was pretty sure that he was jealous of that dog.

‘I have to live with that puppy,’ Chan thought, turning to the two of you. He turned off the TV. ‘This guy would always be trying to get Y/N's attention!’

He couldn't let that happen. He was still jealous as hell. Jealous enough that he might just end up making out with you to get your attention and make you forget that you're holding a dog. Still, he held himself in.

The thought of trying to get your attention made Chan scoff again wryly. What if you chose Hunter like at this moment?

“Why do you keep scoffing?” You asked, finally turning to Chan. He just laughed. You didn't know if he felt humiliated, embarrassed, or if he was jealous.

“Oh, now you notice that I've been sitting here for half an hour pretending to watch TV???” Chan stood up, still smiling. He walked backward, away from you toward the kitchen. His eyes were a bit blank but at the same time, you saw something in them.

You almost burst out laughing. His eyes were filled with jealousy.

“Are you- Are you jealous?”

“Jealous? Me? No way, why would I be jealous??” His voice was a bit softer as he disappeared into the kitchen. You slipped a giggle and set Hunter on the ground.

You walked over to the kitchen where Chan was drinking water. You leaned against the kitchen counter, Hunter following. He walked up to Chan and wandered around the kitchen.

You and Chan locked eyes. A little bit later, he began to choke on the water.

You laughed and went to pat his back.

“Be careful! Are you that jealous of Hunter?” You asked playfully. Chan shook his head way too aggressively, making you laugh even more.

Seeing you laugh seemed to magically make the jealousy fade. His eyes were suddenly drawn into your beautiful smile and lips, almost forgetting that you had been excluding him and giving so much affection to Hunter.

Chan shook out of his faze and walked away after he stopped choking. “What are you doing over here?”

You smiled, picked up Hunter, and hopped onto the counter of the kitchen.

“Oh, Hunter! You're such a good boy!” You rubbed your nose against Hunter's and kissed him.

Chan laughed, unable to believe that you were poking him even when he was already at VOLCANO EXPLOSION level of jealousy.

Chan let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. He placed his hand gently on his chest and patted himself reassuringly. “It's okay Chan, it's okay, Chan,” Chan whispered to himself, hoping that he wouldn't get any more jealous.

Well, that failed.

“IT'S NOT OKAY!” Chan finally snapped.

You chuckled and set Hunter down on the ground.

Chan laughed to himself, placing one hand on his hips and the other to massage his forehead.

“Hey… are you doing this on purpose?? Trying to make me jealous of the new puppy??” Chan asked, a disbelieving smile on his face.

You shook your head innocently and opened your arms wide. You smiled at him, making Chan melt immediately.

“Five seconds or my arms will hold Hunter again.”

He stood there, chuckling. “Hey! You really-”

“5.”

“Gosh, you really-”

“4.”

“Aye!! Come on-”

“3.”

“Ugh, gosh damn it.”

“2.”

He walked into your arms and gave you a tight hug. He pressed his lips on your jaw and neck gently before burying himself in between your neck and shoulder.

You ran your fingers through his hair and rubbed his back. His jealousy ran away in a matter of seconds.

He removed his hand from around your waist and positioned itself on your neck, bringing your face in for a kiss. Your arms were wrapped around him, making him more than overjoyed already. He pressed his chest against yours.

You two giggled in between the kisses, going from hot to sweet, completely immersed in each other's sweet eyes. You had your arms around his shoulders and he gave you kisses everywhere on your face as you giggled softly.

Meanwhile...

Hunter had fire in his eyes as he stared at his new caretakers. He traveled around the kitchen floor, wondering if he should bark at them to stop or not. The golden pomeranian ended up placing himself in a corner.

Hunter: ‘Oh, the jealousy.’

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-serenityseventeen