#its done wonders for my executive function to have that

[netflixofficial]

Finally getting into a routine for writing =) or at least as close to a routine as exists for anything in my life. Hoping it keeps working 🤞

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[shantechni]

Leo the Leader vs Leo the Learner

I know almost every iteration of TMNT emphasizes that the boys cannot properly function as a team without everyone there, especially without their fearless leader.

In terms of cartoons and movies though (as much as I've had time to watch/rewatch), the '03 and '12 series are my personal favorites, with Rise and MM tying for a very close second, because they both acknowledge issues in the team that the characters work to fix. '03 Leo and '12 Leo both struggle to lead the team at significant points in their respective stories, but the manner in which they struggle and what they struggle with differentiate, in a good way mind you.

In the 2003 series, the very first episode opens with Leo already being in the leading position as he tries to keep his brothers from going off script or doing something irreparable while they work to find Splinter. And when they do eventually find themselves in trouble, he's the one to lead them through it and make it back to Splinter in one piece. We see this formula more or less repeat for almost three seasons with a few different variables to spice things up; the brothers look to Leo for guidance, think of a plan of action with their combined efforts, and go from there.

Until the S3 finale.

The boys had times where they wondered if they'd make it out alive, but this was the first where it genuinely seemed like the end for their little family, and Leo could do nothing but watch as they execute their plan to blow up with the starship.

Of course they survive, otherwise we wouldn't have another four seasons💀but that short amount of time was more than enough to scar Leo, physically and emotionally. When he begins closing himself off from everyone, April's the only one to get him to open up and he lays it all out: He feels like a failure of a leader. He wasn't strong enough to protect his family or stop the Shredder, their last resort was going out with a bang, and they had to be saved by the Utroms. It doesn't feel like they won and he doesn't feel like he accomplished anything.

His fears and frustrations manifest into an ever present anger, slowly going from cold to hot, that chooses its target at random. His brothers don't know what to do since they don't seem to know why Leo's behaving this way, nor have they ever seen him like this. And dear Mikey says something that so accurately sums up their team: "...it can’t be fun always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph’s free to not think ‘cause Leo does all the thinking for him. Don’s free to dream, and I’m free to take it easy, all ‘cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us."

Mikey knows Leo is cracking under the pressure of his role partly because they've become so comfortable in their own roles, and no one refutes him. They didn't intend for Leo to translate this dynamic into, "everything is on you," but that's how it inevitably turned out over time. One could even argue that them not knowing how to handle this new Leonardo is yet another downside to them getting too comfortable, and it doesn't help that Splinter is the only one (aside from Usagi on one instance) who attempts to help Leo, even when the young turtle is pushing him away.

Things finally boil over when Leo pushes a little too hard though and harms Splinter during training, a regrettable action that clears away the steely air he had around himself for so long.

It's not until Splinter sends him off to see the Ancient One that Leo finally pulls himself out of that bubble of negativity and he accepts that there was nothing more he could've done in their final fight against the Shredder.

He did all that he could, and he can continue doing all that he can for his family.

In a weird way, Karai's violent eviction notice was exactly what everyone needed.

Leo was told his family likely hadn't survived the attack, something he'd spent countless days trying to prevent through relentless training, but he believed they were okay and ultimately found them alive. He wasn't there to protect them, but he sees for himself that they made it out without his help, and this was also a learning experience for the others if you think about it. They've already been shown to be capable of handling situations on their own or in pairs, but this was the first time they had to deal with a huge confrontation as a team without the comfort of their leader behind their shells.

Raph is the one who takes the helm for a brief few seconds and dishes out instructions amid the chaos, telling everyone to split up, find their way out and meet back up on the surface, with one last demand for them to be careful. And when Leo finds him, his distress is palpable; he couldn't find the others and therefore had no idea if they were okay, let alone alive, while he kept himself hidden from Karai's forces. Before this, we see that Raph is willing to make his own plan of action in this series' version of City at War when he doesn't go with Leo's word. But this time, in Leo's absence, we see he's willing to fill in as leader when the situation calls for it, and he realizes he isn't quite cut out for leadership like Leo.

We don't see any significant shift in team dynamics after this, mainly because Leo's inner turmoil from their fight with the Shredder is what caused problems with the team in the first place, but that goes to show that outside influences are what gave birth to the team conflict. Despite me pointing out earlier how Leo shoulders quite a bit not just because of his role but because of his brothers' roles as well, we can see throughout the series that Leo doesn't buckle from the pressure until they're in a situation where he can't effectively perform his role to his satisfaction.

As I mentioned in the beginning, Leo had been a leader in essence and in name for many years before their first home was raided by the Mousers. It makes perfect sense for him and his brothers to be accustomed to it by now.

2012 Leonardo is not used to being a leader. He may undeniably be a leader in essence, and had the drive and desire to be one, but he definitely wasn't a leader in name. The very first episode doesn't even open up with Leo being a leader, let alone with the turtles being a team. Their first time fighting together is a train wreck, and rather than Leo's strong sense of ethics and honor being the catalyst for his recruitment (not at first at least), it's the beginning of their long battle against the Kraang that convinces Splinter to officially deem him the leader of a newly formed team.

Being leader doesn't automatically mean the team will follow or respect you, which is something Leo learns right away thanks to his brothers, with Raph in particular challenging him when they butt heads over their opposing plans and ideals. It's touched upon in Rise of the Turtles Part 2, but Raph's desire to lead isn't a major plot device until New Girl in Town where he gets a taste of how Leo feels everytime he's responsible for his brothers and their wellbeing. However, Raph makes it known that even though he's resigned himself to not being the leader, he still doesn't like being told what or how to do something. Even Donnie challenges Leo when they can't agree on the best course of action in preparation for the Kraang, but Donnie realizes arguing was pointless as the invasion begins without warning and makes the idea of a second base the more favorable option.

His brothers aren't his only test of will though, as there are a handful of times where Leo questions his ability to lead and wonders if Splinter chose the right turtle for the job. Throughout all of that though, the boys ultimately rely on Leo and follow his lead when all is said and done.

Where this Leo truly differs from '03 Leo is that he not only struggles with leading a team that isn't so keen on being led, but he also struggles to grasp that he leads a team.

There are many times in the series where Leo runs off on his own or makes the decision to tackle something himself rather than with help, and that's not out of the norm, especially in comparison to his own brothers and '03 Leo. The problem is that '12 Leo's solo decision making more often than not leads to trouble (we all know the tale of him trying to turn Karai to the good side without informing the team about her). One of the first major examples of this though was in the S1 finale when he takes Splinter's words a little too close to heart and gives his brothers the scare of their life. Granted, him holding back Kraang Prime kept it on the sinking Technodrome, but you get what I'm saying.

His family actively calls him out on this behavior on two separate occasions during S4.

After they'd spent six months with the Fugatoid fighting the Triceratons and racing to collect every piece of the black hole generator before them, Fugatoid reveals that he was the one who made the world ending device, a reveal that lights a flame of betrayal in everyone, especially Raph and Leo. Believing that they're being used by Fugatoid, Leo rides off in a stealth ship on his own and nearly gets himself killed, a move that has his brothers scolding him, with Raph being the most vocal about Leo's idiotic decision: "Leaders are called leaders because they're supposed to lead a TEAM!"

The moment isn't lingered upon for long, but they all make it clear that they're tired of Leo's one man missions. They're a team, so they should plan and function like one.

Then, in Broken Foot, Leo starts doing missions with Karai and Shinigami in secret to aid them in taking revenge against the Shredder, but, in an attempt to find out what Leo was hiding from them, the other turtles get caught up in their plans and Donnie gets hurt. Leo immediately abandons Karai (who later apologizes for what happened) and Shinigami to check on them and come clean.

He explains to Splinter later on that he didn't fill anyone in on the situation at first because he knew no one would've agreed to help Karai get revenge, and he acknowledges that it was stupid of him to think he could control the situation. Splinter expresses his disappointment, and April reprimands him for once again not trusting his own team enough for them to help him.

Leo apologizes to Raph and Mikey afterwards, even going so far to say he probably doesn't deserve to lead the team after this, something Raph just harumphs at while Mikey remains silent. He pleads for their help in stopping and eventually aiding Karai and Shinigami, and they go along with him to fix things as a team.

We no longer get any one man missions from Leo in S5 (there surprisingly weren't any in S3 lol), likely for a whole list of reasons ranging from leading in Splinter's absence to learning from his mistakes over time. But he makes sure that whatever they have to do gets done together, and he does his best to keep his brothers in line.

I suppose one could say that '03 Leo remembered what it meant to be a leader, while '12 Leo discovered what it meant to lead.

[severeluminaryperfection]

SPOILERS for Outer Wilds

Seriously. If you have not finished it or if you don't know what it is, please don't read this and go play it instead.

I have recently fallen in love with a thing some stories do that I call 'turning my genre expectations against me'. I marvel at writers that can pull it off and I do not really understand how it is done. All I know is that I am obsessed with the effect. There are quite a few stories that have achieved that with me already, but let me talk about my experience with Outer Wilds as an example.

Playing a sizable number of video games I have noticed that, if you pilot a player character, they are usually some sort of hero. I think this is ingrained in the medium - you would want to give your players agency, that is the whole point of a game, and who would have more agency in a story than its hero? That created a bit of a bias in my head towards what to expect from a game and that is exactly where Outer Wilds got me. I unconsciously assumed that I was playing the hero of this story. I assumed I was going to save the world.

It is not necessarily something I absolutely wanted to do or something that I thought I had to, but having played other games, I was trained to expect it. I saw the sun explode and I concluded, instantly, that I was going to stop that from happening. And I clung to that idea, even though Outer Wilds goes out of its way to tell me otherwise. There is Chert, going through all five stages of grief in the face of the supernova, there is the countdown on the Sun Station, spelling it out for me, there is the communications device on the Vessel that shows modern Nomai discussing the imminent death of the universe. This game did not lie to me. It did not pretend at any point, that I could save the world.

And yet, I insisted that I would. I just knew. This is how stories work, after all, right? This is how games work. You build the stakes, you raise them, you make the task seem impossible, all to make the victory feel so much sweeter. I was playing a hero, after all. And Outer Wilds is very good at giving its player agency. I have, in fact, never played a game that made me feel so in control of the story as this one.

It took me finding the functional Warp Core at the Ash Twin Project (one of the very last places that I got to, long after finding the Vessel) to finally realize what was going on. It did not even click for me right away. It had to sink in while I was lying in bed, trying to sleep: the realization that I was, in fact, not playing a hero's journey but a doomed narrative. It was a twist in the story, not build on deception or clever framing but entirely on my notion of what a game should be. It was such a powerful moment. I have never felt anything like that from playing a game.

There is no way the creators of Outer Wilds could have intended that, right? How could they have known that my previous experiences of playing games would lead me to stick so vehemently to this idea in my head? For all they knew, this was the first game I had picked up. Is this all a happy accident? Did I just got lucky that the story they build ended up providing me with such a profound twist, build upon my own preconceptions? I do not think so. I have seen other people talk about a similar experience and the whole thing is executed so smoothly, it is incredible.

This is probably not a thing that works on new enjoyers of art, for their sheer lack of prejudice to leverage, so I wonder how many people have experienced this before and how many pieces of writing are out there whose point I have completely missed because I was not yet able to bring all those biases to the table that were needed for them to function. Is this a thing that exists and is known only to the advanced initiates of storytelling? Is this a secret harbored by the older generation of audiences, an elite circle one can enter only after progressing sufficiently far on the journey of receiving stories? Can I write a story to do exactly this? How would I do that? I want to find out. I shall let you know if I do.

[megumi-fm]

MEG!!!! omg hii, how are you?? i missed you 💗💗

How's living abroad going? And how's the master's student life treating you?

(i saw your answer to zesty's ask, and i feel you, adulting is so hard😭 i'm trying to spend more weekends at uni city, pretending to be an adult and doing all the chores and it sucks sometimes. like, wdym i have to have ideas for different meals at least twice a day?? criminal)

AJ MY BELOVED HELLO HOW ARE YOU WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UPTO TELL ME EVERYTHING I remember you were done with your Bachelors! Are you doing your Masters right now? (Or am I remembering wrong 😓) How has everything been these past few months? Adulting is kinda hard 😩 but im rooting for you from here!! You got this!!

oh i miss you too!! Life here is interesting cause I thought Id get used to the place quick (i did my high school here) but there’s always new things I’m learning about the city and its culture. There’s also always events going on which means I’m living in perpetual fomo 😩 but it is what it is ✊

Masters has been hectic and being an adult means that you gotta regulate your routines and tasks and I’ve only gotten worse at it :/ I really need to get adhd meds but I don’t even have the time (or the executive functions) to visit my uni health clinic :// there’s only three weeks left and every week gets busier than the one before so it’s pretty scary 😭 but it’s been quite fun! the ups and downs and last minute submissions and all-nighters really make it feel like I’m in undergrad yet again 😭

the people here are wonderful! I found myself a friend group that always has my back (the more accurate wording would be that a group adopted me 😂) and I’ve also been going for Kpop dance sessions at my uni!! I can’t say I’m good at it but I enjoy dancing and I enjoy the company hehe ����

overall, it’s been quite a story to tell… I just wish I had a little bit more time in my hands but I’m sure that’s just a flaw in my own way of scheduling things 😓 just three more weeks and I’m done with this semester!! woohoo!!

I miss you guys!! I hope you’ve been having a wonderful time these past four months!! Sending in lots of virtual hugs!! 🥰 🥰

[terra-drone]

My gripes with Rift Apart

Consider this a review of Rift Apart (PC ver). After playing this game twice on Renegade Legend, I have... opinions. Being a fan of the franchise since Going Command/Locked & Loaded, I admittedly have some strong biases for both the PS2 saga and the Future Trilogy for various reasons. But before I go lambasting this entry into the franchise, a TLDR summary;

Pros:

The game is pretty and well executed on a technical level (for the most part).

The platforming and movement is refined and a step up from previous titles.

Cons:

Quite literally almost everything else.

Also has a propensity for crashing (both freezing and blue screen of death).

Movement & Platforming

One of the core aspects of RaC that I am happy RA got right. The movement is buttery smooth and chain daisying from one platform to the next using wall runs, dashes and rift pulls is excellently designed. The addition of the dash function adds an extra dodge ability that was absent in previous entries although granted we can still use the age-old side jumping while aiming/shooting.

I do wish however that the hoverboots were more integrated into the platforming since most of the time you only ever need it for super long leaps or the timed step puzzles. Something like the jump pads from ACIT would be nice to see paired with the new wall run and dash mechanic. You hardly need to use it outside of Savali and Torren IV and the last part of the Nef Mech fight.

What I wished they truncated however was the glide mechanic the hoverboots had. Given that the hoverboots could both glide and make you go fast, it makes this better than whatever Clank could possibly offer. @erablisme has done a wonderful breakdown on this matter (see here), but essentially having the hoverboots be an upgrade of both the charge boots and fulfilling Clank’s contribution to Ratchet’s mobility (gliding) renders Clank, from a gameplay standpoint, moot. It renders Clank into nothing more than a glorified backpack/exposition device, which beats the entire purpose of the franchise’s own title.

Gameplay

Weapons

The arsenal, while fun to use, is too bloated. A lot of the guns overlap in functionality:

Shotguns: Enforcer, Pixelizer, Void Repulser

Seeker/Turret weapons: Agents of Doom, Bombardier, Mr Fungi

Crowd Control: Topiary Sprinkler, Cold Snap

Grenades: Shatterbomb, Bouncer

Rapid fire: Burst Pistol, Blackhole Storm

Lock-on weapons: Drillhound, Richochet, Buzzsaw, Lightning Rod

Heavy hitter: RYNO, Negatron Collider, Warmonger

Do we really need multiple weapons that do the same thing just with different particle effects?

The level up mechanic, while a staple of RaC games, is frankly outdated by this point and actively hinders the game. If anything, it punishes players for sticking to guns they enjoy once they hit max level. It makes the motivator for using weapons not be its function but rather to chase that arbitrary level cap. Plus, there’s no telling what the level up actually did for a weapon aside from damage buffs.

It’s not like they couldn’t do away with this feature, Deadlocked made the guns increase so many levels it frankly deemphasises them in favour of choosing the best weapon for any given scenario, ItN decreased the max level to 3 (6 on challenge) in favour of more meaningful weapon upgrades, and ACiT had the Constructo weapons and mods (which Deadlocked also had called Omega Mods) that incentivises experimentation on what combos worked best while allowing you to spice things up post max level. Why not tie weapon upgrades to collectibles? They already had the Raritanium collection, sprinkling effect mods for weapons throughout the locations shouldn’t be too difficult. They already did this for the armour system, so why not do it for the weapons too? Heck, why not make all the weapons customisable like the Constructo weapons? It would solve the bloated arsenal problem.

Enemy Design

The enemy design in this game just isn’t great. While it makes sense considering you’re fighting an army so it’s obvious they’re gonna have standardised units, you would think they would spice up their combat stratagem when they know they couldn’t beat our protagonists by throwing the same old shtick over and over. Instead, we keep having to fight the same miniboss Juggernaut over and over and over again. Sometimes there’s two of them! Make it three during the Juice fight!

It’s not a problem with just the Nefarious troopers, it’s an issue across multiple factions too. Across all three factions (Space Pirates, Goons & Nef’s army), they all follow the same formula; 

the one with the gun: Pirate Corsair, Goon, Nef Lasertrooper

the one that does melee: Space Pirate & Shield Pirate, Goon Rusher & Undead Goon, Nef Slugger

the tiny short range/melee swarmer: Cutlassies, Robomutt, Nef Trooper

the vehicle one: Goon Dropship, Nef Dropship

the flying one: Zoom Goon, Nef Sniperbot & Blitztrooper & Sniperbot

the heavy flying one: Vroom Goon, Nef Peacekeeper

the rinse repeat miniboss: Pirate Marauder, Nef Juggernaut

While stylistically different, they don’t differ much from how they shoot/do damage at you. It would have been great if they did some things different from one another. Some really simple fixes;

While I think giving shields to pirates makes little sense, it is some variety at least. Expand on that. Maybe make the Goon Rusher actually rush towards you faster than the others, or make the Nefarious Slugger can do 360 attacks or have more range since it’s a) a robot, and b) basically has the Scorpion Flail for arms. 

Make the Vroom Goons try to ram you instead of just having to avoid the taser things it shoots cuz that’s the exact same thing that the Nefarious Sniperbot does since all you need to do to avoid both attacks is sidestepping it.

Make the Pirate Corsair shoot high damage while the standard Goon does horizontal strafing rapid fire compared to the Nef Trooper’s vertical one

Make the Zoom Goons dodge your attacks, maybe give it a ground pound that opens it up to attack so it's at least somewhat different from the Nef Peacekeeper other than being a slightly squishier variant.

For a game so pretty it is bizarre they couldn’t put more effort into gameplay itself. The repeating minibosses get stale very quickly since once you’ve figured out a tactic that worked, it is rinse and repeat across the whole game.

Two Protagonists, Same Shtick

The gameplay doesn’t differentiate itself between Ratchet and Rivet. They play the exact same way, with the exact same arsenal, and the exact same progression. What is the point of having separate playable protagonists if they’re just gonna end up the same? You could replace Rivet with Ratchet and vice versa for 90% of the game and nothing would change. It would be something if they had separate weapons or separate movement gimmicks that make them distinct, but we didn’t get that for some reason.

Character Issues

The character writing is just abysmal, even when compared to the Future trilogy. While the Future trilogy (and by extension A4O, FFA and ItN) had plenty, and I mean plenty, of plotholes from a worldbuilding standpoint, the character writing was solid and fairly consistent. I cannot say the same for RA. Some examples;

Ratchet(?) & Clank(?)

I can hardly recognise Ratchet as the same character we had over the PS2 and PS3 instalments. He feels more like the 2016 reboot version just haphazardly retconned as the ItN version that RA was supposedly a continuation of. Being afraid of being a washed-up hero was Qwark’s thing, not Ratchet’s. Why would he even care? The man was downright tired of being a hero come ItN. And why is he even worried about meeting the Lombaxes? He saved Polaris multiple times and beat Tachyon, y’know, the reason why they left in the first place? The reason he gave up searching for the Lombaxes was because he had more going on with Talwyn and was assured the Lombaxes would do just fine without him. Why the sudden change of reason? What, is acknowledging Talwyn one too many female characters for Insomniac?

And why would Clank, despite knowing Ratchet not wanting to pursue the Lombaxes, go out of his way to make a whole ass parade about the Dimensionator? If he was just trying to cheer Ratchet up from his fear of being a washed-up hero (which, again, made no sense for his character) he would have just done the parade and given him the Dimensionator in private. The entire premise of Rift Apart hinges on the fact that Clank decides to give Ratchet what can be considered as a WMD since the Lombaxes used the Dimensionator to get rid of the Cragmites in an open public setting. Had he not done this, had he not told Qwark he wanted to surprise Ratchet, Nefarious probably wouldn’t have found out about the new Dimensionator, and the entire game wouldn’t have happened.

Another gripe I have with how Clank was handled was that his Zoni heritage was conveniently forgotten about. They could have tied the Zoni more deeply into the mysticism of the RaC universe and be the reason why he was able to fix the dimensional anomalies, but instead it was tied to Gary and... the Lombaxes. Huh.

Rivet, or as I like to call her, “Furbait”

There is so much missed potential with Rivet. Where to start? Instead of a grizzled, closed-off survivor of a robot dystopia, we just get miss middle-of-the-road, clearly made for pandering, furbait. Design wise, she would have been perfectly serviceable had this NOT been a robot dystopia. The only physical giveaway to show that she was a survivor/rebel fighter was her arm. It is the only thing that shows she’s a rebel fighter survivor. Her suit is well made, her eyelashes are on fleek, her hair is silky smooth, her tail is all fluffy and clean. Nothing about her says she was a survivor. No scars, no dirt, nothing other than the obvious robot arm. It is lazy. Lazy and stupid.

Her personality doesn’t make sense for the universe she supposedly inhabits either. Heck, no one in this franchise fits well in this robot dystopia, tbh. She distrusts robots due to past experience, yet  is chummy with both Clank and Kit (and by some extension, the Zurkons & Pierre) relatively quickly. For someone who should have gone through a lot of adversity, she hardly acts like it. She’s confident, has a lot of friends, and whatever negative aspect she does have (which is just distrust instead of the obvious robot racist she should have been) that would have given her an opportunity to grow as a character is watered down and conveniently forgotten, so she hardly grows as a character, if any.

Ultimately, Rivet boils down to being “What if Ratchet, but a girl?”. There’s work put into trying to make her her own thing, but there’s also the narrative yanking her by the collar to be Ratchet’s other self. She’s the last Lombax in her dimension, she also wonders where the Lombaxes went, and she’s trying to be a hero. At that point, how is she any different than Ratchet? They don’t even differ much personality wise for a version of Ratchet who never met her Clank, so to speak. One would think she would be the spunky RaC1 Ratchet since it was meeting Clank that got Ratchet to grow as a person. Instead she’s just your lovely neighbourhood Rivet, friend to all except robots except the ones she meets I guess. What is the point of having two main characters if they are just gonna end up the same?

Kit

While arguably the better other of the new duo, she has issues as well in the writing department. She had the most growth out of our titular cast, however how she got there is ramshackled at best. 

In comparison to Clank, he was a defective warbot, which made sense why he was small. Kit on the other hand was tailor made by the supposedly competent Emperor Nefarious, so why does she have a cutesy mode? Why does she even have a character crisis from hurting Rivet, for that matter? Stopping rebels was what she was designed to do, and she suddenly gained a conscience from doing her job? If Kit is so effective at what she did, why did Emp Nef stop at making just one of her? Shouldn’t there be multiple Kit models roaming about? She could mow down hordes of newer Nefarious Troopers and Juggernauts, so why didn’t Emp Nef expand on that?

These inconsistencies make Kit as a character start falling apart as soon as you give it more scrutiny than a surface level glance. The writers could have easily solved these issues by just alluding that she might have been an outdated model, or was damaged and abandoned on Savali where Gary and the monks fixed her up and gave her a new purpose — protecting the Archives. Instead of an exterminator, she became a guardian. They could have taught her how to be more “human” as it were, too,  which would tie up nicely to why she regrets her actions in her previous line of work. Instead, they went with the “Oh no, what have I done, I did my job and injured a trespasser, now I’m gonna be a recluse on Savali” route.

She doesn’t gel well with Rivet either because the only one actively having something to overcome was Kit. Had Rivet been written better (having to overcome her prejudices, letting go of her past trauma, solving her trust issues) it could work with Kit growing out of her self doubt and regrets, but it just isn’t there. Plus, there weren't enough scenes of them together to build towards that conflict resolution that would make their friendship more believable. She has more of a relationship with Ratchet than Rivet.

“EmPeRoR” Nefarious

He is boring. Simple as. There is no driving motivation to him other than “conquer everything”. We could have gotten an Ultron (which would make a perfectly sensible callback to the Biobliterator shtick our Nef pulled from UYA) but we just end up with a sassy English bastard with the personality of wet bread. There was no fun interplay between him and our Neffy, anything to make both their personalities shine as they work together or grind against each other, it just sucks.

The Plot(holes)

Imma just list it down.

How does a helmet clearly designed to fit a Lombax head is supposedly “one size fits all”?

How did the fish kid Rivet saved in the intro made it around Nef City in the first place if this was supposedly a robot dystopia that eradicated all squishies? What, was he just having a stroll, taking some fresh dystopian air? Could have made it that this was a fellow rebel she was tasked to save cuz he had some intel that he swiped and Rivet decided to use herself as bait to draw attention away from him so he could get the intel out of there, but no.

On that matter, why do planets like Savali and Torren IV still have organic inhabitants?

What was Skidd trying to achieve by hacking the propaganda blimp? This served no purpose at all narratively since it didn't even turn any robots against the Neffies.

Why was Skidd even in Nef City, for that matter? What was his original mission that he was going undercover for? Busting Rivet out of prison? Couldn’t be, since he made no mention of it.

Why did none of Emp Nef's cronies question our Nef just popping in despite looking clearly different? He’s a whole head shorter and the wrong colour. What, do they not have colour vision?

How did Emp Nef know about the existence of the dimensional map? He barely knew about the Dimensionator so how does that make sense?

If Ratchet already has hoverboots, why couldn’t he dash/sprint with it until he gets to Savali?

Where and when did Rivet get a rift tether?

Where and when did Rivet get a pair of hoverboots?

Wasn’t the Space Pirates/Decadroids designed by Tachyon? Why do they exist in this dimension? Why aren’t they allied with Emp Nef since they too are robots? None of this is explained.

Where did the Lombaxes of Rivet’s dimension disappear to? Did they have a Tachyon-like threat in this dimension too? Did Emp Nef wipe them out? Don’t know, and the game doesn’t bother explaining it cuz Rivet is supposed to be girl Ratchet and nothing beyond that.

Why would Emperor Nefarious announce for the whole galaxy to see where he was going during the finale? Did he lose that much intelligence in the short timeframe we’ve known him? This is the guy who conquered the galaxy?

Why would he leave a portal for our protagonists to conveniently follow him through? 

Where did that telekinetic abilities of him suddenly disappear to?

Where was this dimension’s Lawrence counterpart? That stupid little secretary is so dumb as to not recognise her own boss she couldn’t possibly be the Lawrence replacement.

Environmental Storytelling & Worldbuilding

Environmental storytelling & worldbuilding has never really been Insomniac’s strong suit. RA is pretty and all, but aside from Blizar Prime, none of the other locales did anything different from Ratchet’s dimension. If this was supposed to be a galaxy where Emp Nef has conquered it all, you would think that there’d be more neon, more cyberpunk, more Emp Nef aesthetic, more robots flying about. Instead, we just got the same thing we had from Ratchet’s dimension, just in prettier graphics. It is set dressing with no story to tell. It's a puddle pretending it was an ocean. While I appreciate seeing the graphical glow up the locations got, it’s a missed opportunity to actually show the impact Emp Nef had. 

Take Nefarious City for example;

How was Ratchet able to move around Nef City without raising alarms? This negates the entire point of Rivet needing a robot disguise in the first place.

Why does a static statue in the middle of a city have a terminal that activates a platform that leads to Emp Nef's office in the first place?

On that note, why is an EMPEROR working from an office? Where’s the throne? The grand palace and palisades? The royal guards? If he’s an authoritarian that likes to take control, where’s the giant screen with a hundred monitors that watch every inch of Nef City?

Why does Emp Nef have a tiny four seater shuttle? If he needed to commute planet-side, wouldn’t he have something more posh? More grand? A Rolls Royce of shuttles instead of what can be considered a slightly pricier but still shitty Tesla model? They could have made Ratchet or Rivet have to steal a fighter jet and that would make infinitely more sense than what we got.

The same can be said with the inhabitants of this universe. They only exist to serve as plot devices or to point the protagonists to the next goal rather than actual people. There is no culture, no differing beliefs, nothing to tell you about what they are about or what they do. If all they exist to do is to be exposition devices/mission pointers, what was the point of even making distinct characters? Then again, the Future trilogy suffered the same problem with environmental characters being practically stand-in cardboards so points for consistency, I guess.

Verdict

Essentially, Rift Apart is a creatively bankrupt, designed-by-committee tech demo for Sony Playstation. What used to be a franchise that does satirical commentary on capitalism that later tried to delve into narrative/character driven sci-fi story, has ended up being the most capitalistic-designed entry imaginable. Which is unfortunate because I want to like this game. God, do I want to like it.

Did I enjoy playing it? When it works and doesn't crash on me, sure.

Do I like it enough as an entry to the franchise though? No, no I don't. The gameplay hardly expanded on the RaC formula, and the narrative just killed it for me.

But of course, that's just me. If you enjoyed RA, more power to ya. If you told me to play it again, I'll probably do it. It's just not for me for the long run.

[caledfwlchthat]

💖 🤲

WHY HELLO MUTUAL IN MY INBOX, it is actually nice to receive things, but only now do I seem to find enough executive function to pull together a response. (tomorrow I start writing my first holiday letter to friends in like a decade, I'm not even kidding)

💖 What made you start writing?

hmm. Do I rules-lawyer this? How far back do I go. Because I've been writing expressively in one way or another very nearly since I could hold a pen. Motivations probably ranged from exploring early interests (wildlife, aerial battles) to sci-fi/fantasy OCs to collaborative post-by-post silliness of the kind we see here on Tumblr all the time. Plays, poetry, fiction. Attempts at more serious blogs. I am all about the mad wordz. You could stop doors with printouts of my emails to friends.

What made me start writing fanfic was that when Homestuck -- maybe not the first media of which I could say I was a fan, but the first for which I considered myself belonging to a fandom -- ended in 2016, I saw immediately that the main source of material for my voice acting blog (entitled, as you can see, "One Man Homestuck") had reached its limits. I had at best lukewarm ambitions for a truly solo dub of the entirety of Homestuck, and I found it hard to gel with several VA collaborations to that point. These days, of course, I could always just offer to podfic my lovely mutuals' fics...

Anyway, so Homestuck had [S] ACT 7 go up in April 2016. While I was wondering what to do with myself after that, I saw a post go up about the Ladystuck Remix Challenge 2016 -- my first encounter with a fic exchange. I liked the premise of using someone else's fic as a prompt, as an amusing exercise in constrained form. So I got myself an AO3 account, threw up two short VA intro scripts I had written for Jade and Terezi as qualifying works, and then wrote How Your Other Quarter Double-Dies -- which I can't say was what I had been expecting to write, but which ended up being stacks of fun. For extra credit I did The Cafe Mocha Caper which was a stretch for my powers at the time but I can at least say it was ambitious!

And then the rest has been history. My still-in-progress longfic Rose: Remember has been going from around the same time, and while I enjoyed Ladystuck it's this fic that seems to be my big Homestuck legacy. <kermit-flail waves to @laurasauras, @katreal-fic, @hussianphilosopher>

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Sure, uh! Lessee. <rummages around in the back stockroom>

Oh man! I had forgotten about this one completely -- so maybe to say it's "in progress" is a bit much, but I like the concept. Premise is a peek into the kinder, gentler dreams of some of the Friendsim trolls which, unfortunately for them, are no more than that. A sampler:

"Now, you may remember that last week," Ardata intones for the grubcam's benefit, "Mashya and I brought this poor abandoned lopwing in from the sun's searing heat. We found him half-culled in the dumpster behind our hive, his ribs kicked in and a wing slashed. And it annoys me greatly to think someone, anyone, would have done this anywhere even near here." She crouches down to join her charge in the cam's frame. "How could they! This precious boy! Who knows whose lusus he could have been!" Throughout her patter, Ardata feels the palmhusk in her trouser pocket shudder with the stochastic rhythm of Chittr notifications. She'll have to take a few of those later, since they're streaming live and the chance for her viewers to interact with the rescue beasts is part of the maverick appeal of her channel. There are still a few haters who still preferred the old times when the den was a dungeon, when the floor was slick with blood, when you could smell the suffering hanging in the dank air even through the remote link. Most of them are ignored, while a few persistent hecklers are derided or quickly shouted down. She's not quite as popular as she once was, but her new brand has a persistent counterculture staying power she would never have guessed at before Mashya arrived. Ardata purses her lips to mimic the lopwing's squeaking call, and the wounded animal hops over to close the few feet of remaining distance. Her rustblood assistant silently zooms the grubcam's view in as she gently pulls one iridescent wing open. The lopwing flinches and its eyes widen, but it allows examination of its wing's torn surface -- a helpful touch from another waiting aide. She knows she couldn't do this without him, even if she can't formally acknowledge his contribution. The wing is still a mess, the ragged edges of the membrane still crudely stitched together with silk thread. But by turning it into the light, she can see that the nearby elements have begun to revascularize, which may in time knit up the great scarred slash. She points this progress out to her fans. In another three weeks, the lopwing might be able to take short flights again; a week after that, perhaps it will finally be able to outrun the predating barkbeasts and cholerbears, and can be safely released. Ardata's palmhusk buzzes again and she fishes it out, throwing her hair over her far shoulder with an artfully careless toss of her head. "Anything you'd like to tell our little guest? Let's see." She frowns, seeing no text immediately apparent in the comment box. A quick double-tap highlights what was written: What exquisite cruelty. How, exactly, will this once-wild animal last more than fifteen seconds out in nature again? Your ministrations, and those of your misguided partner in crime, have rendered it unable to survive outside; you have merely drawn out its demise. And finishing: You sick, sick monster. I approve.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Undercover ~ Two ~ Sam

Pairings: Jake Jensen and OFC Samantha Matthews

The Losers have made it back to their families and are out. Well, almost. A threat against the British crown needs to be handled and the CIA has tapped the Losers for one final mission. And they are sending in Jensen.

Jake Jensen hasn't been a civilian in years but now he's undercover to find out why his target is where he is and who he's after.

Enter Sam, someone who Jake doesn't expect and well, he didn't know he was looking for.

Can Jake handle his mission and falling in love? Especially when the truth leads to a bigger mission than expected?

*~* A Jake Jensen Story *~*

Author's note: this story continues after the events of the Losers. I may weave other characters into it but they are all minor. THE TAGLIST IS OPEN.

The playlist is available on Spotify.

cover photo by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: angst, death, smut, and a bunch of stuff a can’t say because it gives away the plot!

Previous - One - Jake

Story Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Predictable.  

That’s how Sam Matthews would describe her life.  Eat sleep work repeat. Her job as secretary to the head of IT at ADR gave her an income but not joy. The only woman on a floor full of mouth breathing men was cringey. The ogle, the attempts to flirt (badly), the propositions got old and fast. 

When did my life become this, she thought to herself.  She had been on track to get married, become an executive within ADR.  But when Terry left (with his secretary) Sam’s life stalled.  She shuffled around until she landed with Mike, Terry’s best friend.  Mike was just as angry as Sam was, being that said secretary was his girlfriend.  

The beauty of men. A year after and Mike was able to move on.  Not “hey let’s have a beer with the ex-best friend” move on but still.  Sam barely functioned, only really doing the minimum to go to work, not really having anyone else in her life except her mother, her father and brother (who was quite distant), her best friend Stephanie and her cat, Bowie.  

While Sam was getting ready for the day, Mike messaged her about a new member of the security IT team. Jake Jensen. She replied, confirming that she would get it done. She headed out of her cottage and drove into work. Her cottage.  The one thing that her father had set her up with and she managed to hang on to during the break up.  

Heading into ADR, Sam checks herself in the mirror of the elevator.  Ponytail neat, makeup soft, clothes straight, she doesn’t look like a mess and that at least will keep Michael off her ass.  She greets everyone as she enters and tries to avoid the accounting floor where her most unwanted admirer had an office.  

John Fitzpatrick was not an unattractive man; Sam could acknowledge that a bit, but she just wasn’t interested.  John was cocky.  He knew he was good looking, and he had already ran through almost all of the woman at ADR with the exception of Sam.  

After setting up the new security IT manager with his email and logins, Sam sets off on her normal routine, delivering reports from Michael, gathering up the reports needed.  From the corner of her eye, she saw the new guy look at her and quickly duck his head.  She giggled but ignored him as he seemed shy.  But that distraction would cost her. She moved back to her area and went into the break room, not realizing who else was in the room with her.  

“Miss Matthews!” 

“Shit,” she mumbled to herself. She looked up to see John smiling down at her.  He had crowded her near the coffee maker, kitty corner from the door.  

“I was wondering when you would finally let me take you to dinner.” 

“That’s a nice offer, but as I explained before I’m really not interested.” She tried to move away but John stopped her with a hand on her hip. “Please don’t touch me.”  

“Why? Does it get you all hot and bothered?” 

“No, because its sexual harassment.” Sam pushed him away and walked out the door quickly. She barely missed another body in her retreat. “Excuse me, sorry.”  She moved to a corner that made it look like she was heading to the elevator. She crouched in the corner but could still hear from the break room.  

“Pardon me…” she heard John try to follow and stopped by the guy she almost ran into.  “You’re new.”  

“Yeah, hi. I’m Jake, IT.”  

“John, accounting.  Sorry, did you see a brunette pass by?” 

“Uh, yeah, she went into the elevator.” Sam breathed a sigh of relief.  

“Sly minx, she is.  You must know how that is.” Ew, really, she thought.  “Well, I’ll see you around Jake.”  

“Likewise.”  

Sam watched as John walked right by her and waited a moment before going back to the breakroom to retrieve her mug.  She found the new manager in the room, sipping his coffee. 

“Is he gone?” She must have startled him as he choked on his coffee.  

Sam finally had a good look at the man. Blonde spiky hair, memorizing blue eyes behind a set of wire rimmed glasses, pink lips with scruff on his chin.  He was gorgeous.  She could tell he was also slim but well built. He took a moment to respond to her. “Uh, yeah.  I told him that you went up the elevator.”  

Sam sighed in relief. “Thank you.  God, he just won’t take no for an answer.”  

He was still a little slow in responding but he seemed to snap out of it. “Sorry for my species.” He wrinkled his nose, assuming he made a stupid comment. He turned to walk away but Sam found his comment amusing.  

She giggled.  “Thank you for apologizing.  I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Matthews. Sorry Samantha.”  She extended her hand to him.  

“I like Sam.” He flinched again. “I’m Jake Jensen.” He took her hand. It was a warm hand, strong but yet gentle in hers.  

“Oh, you’re the new manger! Welcome to ADR!” She beamed him a smile and he flashed on back, showing off his pearly whites. Sam nearly swooned.  This was the first time since Terry that she found someone she was attracted to.  

“Are you going to have trouble getting back to your office?” he asked. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder.  “I could walk you back.”  

“I would like that,” she replied with a soft smile. “Let me just,” she reached for her mug and poured herself a cup.  

“Princess, huh?” 

She wrinkled her forehead. “Excuse me?” 

He pointed to her hands. “Your mug. Princess.”  

“Oh,” she lifted the mug to look at it.  “Yeah, my father gave it to me.” She blushed and quickly took a sip.  

“Makes sense.  Dad’s princess.  I get it.” Jake quirked a half smile.  “Sooo, I email you every day.” 

Sam giggled, “yep, all your reports. And other things.”  

“How long have you been with ADR?” 

“About four years.  I came in with… a friend and they left, and I stayed.” Sam shrugged. “What made you come to ADR?” 

“A job,” he quirked a smile.  “I’m ex-military and they offered me a position. It’s close to my family so it was a no-brainer.”  

“That must be nice. My mom is in New York so I can only see her every once in a while.”  

“And your dad?” Jake looked like he was sincerely interested and that gave Sam a flutter.  

“Uh, he’s in England with my brother.  We don’t talk a lot. He was quite busy, but he just retired.”  

“Cool.  Maybe he’ll get a chance to visit you.” Jake stopped, missing the look of apprehension on Sam’s face and Sam noticed that she was outside of Mike’s office where she sat. “Well, I better get back.  The boss won’t want me to slack off. Or his assistant.”  A half smile graces his face.  

“No, she wouldn’t.  But she wouldn’t mind if you came by to say hello more often.”  

“I think that can be arranged.”  Jake took a step back and hit a cubicle wall.  “Umm… so… yeah ok.”  He turned and walked back to his area as Sam watched.  He turned back once and raised a hand to wave but hesitated and just rubbed the back of his head as he walked into his area.  

Sam watched with a smile until she heard someone clearing his throat. She turned to see Mike smiling at her.  “I haven’t seen that smile in a while.”  

“Mike, sorry,” she ducked back to her desk.  

“Don’t be sorry Samantha. You haven’t smiled in a long time.” Mike leaned against the doorway. “He’s… interesting.”  

Sam smiled. Interesting doesn’t even begin to cover it.  She went to her computer and set up an appointment.  

Coffee ~ 10AM ~ Daily  Invitees:  J. Jensen and S. Matthews 

She sent it off as Mike went back to work.  She watched as Jake’s head popped up and looked over towards her.  He smiled and sat down.  Her computer pinged. She looked down to see the invitation was accepted.  

Then her instant message popped.  

JJ: I would have asked you to coffee  SM: Really?  JJ: No…  SM: Why?  JJ: Too Beautiful  JJ: Shit  JJ: I mean… 

Sam smiled. His adorable, dorky nature is refreshing compared to all the other men in the office.   SM: I think you’re cute.   SM: Just want to get to know my new team mate  JJ: Me too 

Sam bit her lip, feeling her cheeks flush.  Only Jake Jensen could really bring this out in her.  Because he wasn’t like everyone else. She went on with her day, staying close to Mike’s office as John wouldn’t come around.  As she packed up to leave, a shadow fell over her and she looked up to see Jake in the doorway. “Hi?” 

“I just wanted to make sure you made it to your car uninterrupted.  Consider me your bodyguard,” Jake said with an overexaggerated bow.  

“Thank you, kind sir,” Sam replied. She turned off her lamp and grabbed her bag.  They walked side by side to the garage.  

“So, you feel safe now?” 

“Very.” Sam smiled up at him.  He was so much taller than she was, even in her heels.  

“Good.  My pop taught me to always be a gentleman.  Even if my mouth gets me into trouble.”  

“No filter?” 

“Sometimes. My CO, sorry, commanding officer, would tell me I could talk my way out of a lot of things but it’s usually because I put myself there.” Jake chuckled. They stopped at Sam’s car.  “I guess you made it safe and sound.”  

“Well, couldn’t have done it without my personal bodyguard.”  Sam smiled. “See you tomorrow Jake.”  

“Have a good night Sam.”  He waited until she drove out before heading to his own vehicle.  

* 

* 

* 

In the dark corner of the lot, John Fitzgerald gripped his steering wheel.  This was not an obstacle that he had anticipated.  No matter.  When John Fitzgerald is on a mission, he stops at nothing to get what he wants.   

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[ncisfranchise-source]

Brian Dietzen‘s Jimmy Palmer is now the chief medical examiner on “NCIS,” having taken over that function as the character’s mentor, David McCallum‘s Ducky character, slid into an emeritus role a few seasons ago. When McCallum died in September, it fell into Dietzen’s real-life lap to become something of a grief examiner, as he took on the duty of co-writing a farewell salute to Ducky — and to David — along with one of the series’ longtime executive producers, Scott Williams.

The tribute episode they came up with, “The Stories We Leave Behind,” airs Monday night on CBS. For many longtime viewers, Ducky’s memorial will be, well, tearducty, as elder fans, especially, remember not just McCallum’s two-decade run on the top dramatic series of the 21st century but a lifetime of roles stretching back to the actor’s star-making 1960s co-lead part on “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”

As McCallum’s primary scene partner for 20 seasons, Dietzen had a vested interest in celebrating Ducky for the third episode he has co-written for the show. (He talked about his writing debut for his series in an extensive interview with Variety almost exactly two years ago.) In this catch-up, he discusses wanting to provide both the audience and himself some catharsis with the double-duty on this episode… and what’s up for Jimmy Palmer beyond the current grief, with the show having the formerly bumbling character as one of its most solid rocks two decades into a historic run.

What was it like for you, to be co-writing a tribute episode, so soon after the death of the man you’d worked so closely with for 20 years?

You know, when you lose a friend, and then you process your grief by writing something immediately, that’s to be consumed by the masses — not writing and journaling about what you’re feeling, but writing something for performance, for public consumption… it was very strange in a way. But also very cathartic.

How quickly did the show move toward thinking about how to handle the death, and how did you come into the writing part?

We had this major work stoppage. It was the end of September that David passed away, so we were all walking the picket line out there, and I would meet tons of people who would come up and express their condolences, people who had been fans of his for decades and decades. We knew immediately we wanted to do something to honor the person, but also, of course, the character within the universe. Once the writers went back to work, Scott said he definitely wanted to write that episode, and furthermore, he wanted to team up with me to write it. This is our third script that we’ve written on together, and when he brought my name up, our showrunners Steve Binder and David North said, “Yeah, we’d love for that to happen — Brian’s worked alongside David more than anyone else, and then Scott has obviously written for him for years.”

You have some clips in the episode, but there are only so many you can work into 42 minutes when you also have to spotlight the team’s emotional responses… and have a crime, which no “NCIS” episode is ever going to go without, as a rule.

God knows we could have done a show where it was just clip after clip of David, and these wonderful, long diatribes that he’s had. But we wanted to make sure that there was something that brought the team together one last time with Ducky, and so we found a way to have this be something that Ducky had left undone, and that the team felt a need to honor their fallen friend by finishing something for him. You know, when you lose someone, it can sometimes feel like, “What do I do? What do I do with my hands? What do I do with my body right now?” And you can feel jittery, because this is a part of grief. And so our team actually gets to go into action, and not just sit in their distress but actually affect change in someone else’s life, and by proxy fulfill a wish of Ducky’s.

Was there anything that you specifically wanted to channel into the remembrance of the person or the character?

One of the biggest things that I wanted to talk about and explore had to do with the loss of any friend or a loved one, but that really works really hand-in-glove with the character of Ducky: He told so many stories, over the course of the last 20 years at NCIS, and that I think is what a lot of people remember that character for. I certainly will; me playing Jimmy Palmer, I listened to so many of those stories, some of them long, some of them very short and quippy. Ducky had a lot of those, and David had a lot of those over the course of his almost 70 years in Hollywood. The name of this episode is “The Stories We Leave Behind.” So that’s what I wanted to do to honor him, to recognize that those stories are earned and meaningful. You add ’em up altogether and you have a very full life, and that very full life is all we really leave behind to affect people; once we’re gone, those stories become our legacy.

The other goal was that I wanted a communal space — 42 minutes of time where all of his colleagues, the people that called him a friend, and the folks that have never met him but have known him for the last 60 years and watched him weekly on “NCIS” for the last 20 years — a space where we could all come together and share our sadness, and also share the joy that we got to know him, even if it was over a television set. I think the ritual of getting together and having a memorial for someone, whether you call it a funeral or a party, is really important, and it’s something I wanted everyone to be able to share, and I think David would’ve loved that… Grief is a powerful thing and sometimes feels like an awful thing, that recedes and comes back and recedes again. But I’m hoping that we’re left with a sense of hope by the end of this episode, and not just sadness that he’s gone, but also, boy, what a blessing that that he was here.

“The Stories We Leave Behind” – Pictured (L-R): Brian Dietzen as Jimmy Palmer, Katrina Law as NCIS Special Agent Jessica Knight, Wilmer Valderrama as Nick Torres, Diona Reasonover as Forensic Scientist Kasie Hines, and Gary Cole as FBI Special Agent Alden Parker. Photo: Michael Yarish/CBSCBS

You and your lab partner, Kasie (Diona Reasonover), have an interesting scene, where you discuss guilt that comes after a death over not having fully expressed feelings. And then that scene ends with an “I love you.” It’s like you’re telling the audience that we should feel good about actions having proved love… but hey, maybe we should be going beyond that with words.

Yeah. I’ve experienced that before and I have loved ones that have experienced that before, where you lose someone and you go, “Oh, man, did they know?” When my mom passed away, did she know how much I loved her? And of course she did, but still the question persists, and it still nags at you. And I think there is that moment for Kasie of saying, “You know what? I do love you.” It doesn’t hurt to say. There’s an “Our Town” sort of thing that happens there where it’s like: “Why are these people not saying they love one another every moment of every day? If I were able to go back and do it again, I would be doing that in a heartbeat.” And I love that idea that if if your eyes are open to (learning from) that, then maybe you savor that moment a bit more when you get to connect with someone on a Saturday morning, or the sandwich tastes a little better, and there’s something about life that you will look at and appreciate more than before you had lost anyone.

What were some of your thoughts about David, observing him up-close for almost 20 years? He had huge fame at an early age with “Man From U.N.C.L.E.,” then fell out of sight, then seemed to have a very casual relationship with the limelight when it came back to him, less intensely, in his career’s third act.

A lot of us would marvel at how young he seemed. You know, he was cast in this show when he was 70 years old, and everyone said, “Oh, he looks like he’s in his late 50s” when we started this show. And the guy had it figured out. He knew what stressed him out, and he avoided that. I remember saying, what’s the secret to the longevity and that sort of stuff, and he said, “I try not to stress myself too much. You know, if I find things that do stress myself out, I try not to do those things, or I try to get help with those from other people.”

I was talking to his wife, Katherine, last month, and she said, “I’ll never forget when he was 70 years old, coming to me and saying, ‘Catherine, my people want me to go audition for this thing, this new Don Bellisario show. I don’t know. Do you think I should do another TV show?’” And she said, “Ah, yeah, go, you know, you’ll enjoy it. You’ll have a good time. Who knows how long it’ll last anyhow.” And then that turns into a 20-year gig. It was interesting that when we were, gosh, maybe in our 10th season, he had just finished a writing a novel that became a New York Times bestseller (“Once a Crooked Man”). He was voicing two different cartoons that were major hits for the Disney Channel, and a couple different video games as well. And he was portraying Ducky on the No. 1 show in the world. I was in my mid-30s at the time, and I thought, this 80-year-old man is making me look so lazy. He just wanted to keep going and keep working; he really enjoyed it.

But I think that some of the balance that you’re kind of alluding to — that he didn’t crave to be some rocketing, huge superstar — was that he loved his family more than anything. And I think that’s where his heart was a lot, and I’m so glad that over the past five, six years, he was able to spend a lot more time not just in California but in New York with all of his grandkids. He had a wonderful grounding that way.

David had been pretty much full-time with the show through the 15th season, and then he got on a semi-retirement path, it seemed, cutting his workload down to being on just half the episodes in a season, then six, then three, remotely. From the outside we didn’t necessarily know whether that was being realistic about what he could do health-wise, or whether that was just wanting to enjoy life. But fans did appreciate that he didn’t leave the show outright.

And what was incredible was that he was largely a very, very healthy person, keeping himself well. I mean, he was doing Pilates. And he still just hit the scenes hard. I mean, the scene that keeps being shown for these promos is a scene from a show where the character of Gibbs has just left (in the opening stretch of the 2021-22 season), and Jimmy is having a tough time with that and says, “We just lost Gibbs. Bishop just left, and I lost Breena last year, and I’m just about ready for people to stop leaving. I’m having a tough time here.” And David says — or sorry, Ducky says — “Change is the essence of life, and our pain is a small price to pay for his peace.” That scene, when we filmed that, that was probably one of the last handful of scenes that he and I got to film in person together. He just knocked it out of the park. And that was him at 88 years old, and just tremendous.

So, as far as him pulling back and wanting to do less, I think it had very, little to do with health or ability or anything like that, and much more to do with “what’s smart for my life, what’s good for me — but I never want to stop doing this, because it feeds my soul, it feeds my creative energy.” He always had been and always will be an actor. But he also wanted to just spend time with family. And he was so encouraging of me in my journey in taking over the role of medical examiner on the show. He couldn’t have been more supportive and more kind.

Brian Dietzen and David McCallum. (Photo by Monty Brinton/CBS via Getty Images)CBS via Getty Images

As someone who was his primary scene partner, you had a great introduction to the public, since an audience that had watched him for decades was going to be riveted to the few scenes they got with David every week, but with you as foil, he was not going to be sucking up all the oxygen.

And he was certainly very giving with his scene work. With all of that said, he was also a veteran, and a guy who knows the tricks of the trade, and how to get great coverage and that sort of thing. I learned so much from him over the course of this period of time. So if once in a while, if all of us are standing on one side of the body and he walks to the other side because he knows he’ll get a great single shot of himself, you learn from that sort of thing, too!

To focus on Jimmy for a minute, the character has been considerably elevated over the years. His personal life has been highlighted. What do you foresee for any of that this season or going forward?

Jimmy’s been on on such a ride. Over the course of the last few years, Jimmy certainly has seen some tough stuff between obviously the biggest event of his life, which is the loss of his wife during COVID, and then his team shifting. And then, with the addition of Gary Cole and Katrina Law, there’s a very different team dynamic that this show has right now, and I absolutely love it. Being able to have Jimmy actually fall in love is great to play — not to mention, I get to do more scenes with Katrina Law, who’s an absolutely fantastic actor, and we work very well together. So we will definitely see some advancement of the Jimmy and Jessica storyline. That doesn’t necessarily mean that everything’s smooth sailing all the time. He loves her enough that he blurted out “I love you” in front of an entire bullpen full of people, and she was kind enough to say it back, later in the episode. But, yeah, there’s gonna be some stuff that they’re gonna go through that maybe is some growing pains, and maybe even some bigger stuff than that.

I’ve also already shot some stuff this season that is just some terrific, classic NCIS comedic stuff that I love digging my teeth into. Our writers have really given ussome incredible scenes to do. We have this truncated season of only 10 episodes, so everyone kind of feels like, “Oh, I get one at-bat, basically, this year,” and everyone swings hard and swings for the fences. Not to pat ourselves on the back too much, but when I read these scripts, I’m like, man, it’s just banger after banger. So, yeah, the comedic bits have been fantastic, the Jimmy and Jessica stuff has been great, and then, of course, you know, the crimes… There’s always the crimes.

It’s still a little surprising to see an inter-office romance treated comfortably on “NCIS,” for anyone who remembers the Tiva years, when the romantic tension between Tony and Ziva was always paramount and those lines into clear consummation wouldn’t be crossed. Then the audience got a real romance on the sister show, “NCIS Los Angeles,” and it seemed the franchise got a little friendlier with the idea that this doesn’t have to be played purely as torture. You can see why for a lot of years the show did not lean into anything like that, but at the same time, maybe the audience enjoys some contentedness.

Yeah. I think that started with Don Bellisario, who was right with the conventional wisdom that said, for a long time, well, you have to have the tension of will they or won’t they? Because if you consummate that relationship, then there’s no more tension. That was the thought process for a long time. But I think, right now, man, audiences are really smart, and audiences also really like to see the positive. Again, not that there won’t be bumps. But when you get home from like a long day at work or you just want to have your family time together on Monday nights and sit around and watch your “NCIS” family play, there’s something to be said for it being pretty cool to see a relationship where there’s an emotional maturity about it, and they’re lifting each other up. You know, there’s something that’s, like, “Ahhh, that feels good,” you know? Because there’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t feel so good right now.

No one can appreciate more than you the irony that, as a former bit player, you are one of the rocks of “NCIS” — along with Sean Murray, a year-one anchor the show’s O.G. viewers depend on.

Oh, I called it from day one! I got this one-day guest star role that I was gonna go audition for and I was like, “If I play my cards right, this is gonna turn into over two decades’ worth of work.” No, of course I couldn’t know, but I’m just happy and blessed to still be playing a character that’s changed and evolved quite a bit. And people keep enjoying the stories that we’re telling, and if we keep telling good ones, then I think hopefully they’ll keep ordering some more.

[roobylavender]

previously you’ve mentioned how the cruel prince series had potential to expand on its world building as well as explore the, rather frankly, xenophobic attitude the fae held in regards to humans !

do you think if HB had done that well , cardan and jude’s relationship would be more realistic ? also i wonder if issues ever come up later in life like “oh remember that time where you hated my entire race lolz” to be honest, as much as the whole “cardan is/was/has been obsessed with jude most of his life; The Jude Name Letter TM” was intriguing i feel like it was a bit of a cop-out ?? yk , like when it came to light that he never truly hated her but his past actions were …. [gestures]

considering holly black (per her own words) took large inspiration from the queen’s thief i have to take that as a reference point and say that judecardan might have been believable had their initial dynamic been founded on anything other than cardan responding to his own familial trauma.. attolia was the way she was bc she had had every semblance of agency repeatedly robbed of her by the men in her life, whether that was her father, her barons, or eventually her fiancé, so eugenides’s theft read in context of that was a direct threat to every ounce of respect and control she’d managed to scrap up through sheer cunning and resolve. he was as much a political threat to the stability of her rule as a female monarch as he was a personal threat to her agency and ability to shield herself against patriarchal crimes. the prowess of the queen’s thief consistently lay in its ability to tie its political narrative to its personal one and that’s somewhere i think holly black gloriously failed. admittedly i never read the latter two books of the series but my problem with the world building in the first was that it felt utterly surface level. it never took its time to delve into the intricacies and trivial details of how the kingdom functioned and why it functioned that way. the fae hating humans was merely taken as a given. so even in light of the abuse i wasn’t compelled to feel like i should care that cardan might feel something for jude. nothing really excused him specifically taking his anger and trauma out on her, and i’m even less inclined to be impartial to the whole “actually he never really hated her” shtick bc it’s a cop-out

the thing with enemies to lovers as a trope that is so often absent in its execution is accountability. you have to sit with your pre-existing hatred and your crimes and you have to feel guilty about it for the rest of your life bc it’s the absolute bare minimum required of you: the acknowledgment that you have treated another person in the most horrible way imaginable bc of pre-established lines of political conflict. the acknowledgment that no matter how much love may spring out of the earth after there will always be a rot underneath that you can never forget so long as you live. this is a concept executed to perfection in the lumatere chronicles via the relationship between tesadora and perri (which i’m going to talk about in the vaguest terms possible bc some people have come here asking for spoilers and i am telling you NO! you will never get a better experience with them than reading about the horrors of their story completely unaware of what they actually entail). regardless of however remorseful perri is about what he’s done in the past and regardless of how deeply he loves tesadora, his prior violence is something he has to live with and atone for in perpetuity. it’s an ugly thing between them and he even acknowledges that they don’t know how to talk about it with each other bc it’s so painful and humiliating to think of the violence he and the people in his community inflicted on hers for years. and this is regardless of the fact that he was a child for most of it! he doesn’t allow himself to make excuses or beg for her forgiveness bc a part of him knows he’d never deserve it. he’s actively tormented over the suffering he’s caused her in the past and even when they’re together in the present you can tell they’re always shifting back and forth between moments of heart-rending tenderness and painfully silent grief. so that’s a quality i think all good enemies to lovers should have: the idea that you’ll never really be at peace and if the love is truly that strong and worth it then you’ll resign yourself to your role as a permanent penitent for the sake of your lover. the idea that you’ll do everything in your power now to give them the peace you robbed them of prior. enemies to lovers to me isn’t supposed to be an everyone’s happy and everything’s perfect now thing. there has to be a perpetual ugliness to it, even if latent, and that’s something that at least from reading the first book and seeing snippets from the last judecardan to me lacked

[mechtroid]

I'm sure a lot of people are wondering how we got to this point.

As someone who's basically worked on all aspects of a computer save for chip design, the answer mostly boils down to layers, abstraction or otherwise (and subsequently, security).

The Apollo rocket's code was written largely by a core of 40-70 programmers, IIRC (and depending on how you define "core"). Everything else was either done by one of the 300 odd other programmers at NASA or cribbed from some academic paper somewhere. Everything had access to everything else; if the radio wanted to blink out its error message in morse code using the cabin's "check engine" light, it could. Nothing was stopping you, other than likely getting smacked upside the head by someone 4 cubicles down.

Meanwhile, a chrome tab involves so many elements and so many permissions that it makes the UN look like a NASCAR pit crew. Say you're building a website that just wants to automatically log you in, nothing else.

Well, you're likely building this in a framework, so before you even interact with the browser you're using mode.jk or something. One layer. You call the function to get the user session token. Your framework looks at the session info and figures out what kind of browser it's running on. IE7. Framework figures okay, we've gotta formulate the request using these depreciated functions that haven't been touched since 2009. Two layers. Browser cocks its head at you and goes "Okay pal, who's asking?" Your code fumbles for its passport showing it already has permission to access cookies. Three layers. The browser double checks your site's passport against the SSL token to make sure it wasn't handed a forgery, everything checks out. Four layers. Confident the request was genuine, the browser asks the operating system for access to the contents of the current executing directory, the user/IE7/cookies directory, the temp/currentsession/cookies directory, and recites the ancient bitmask of legend indicating the secret windows directory where IE actually stores the cookies. Five layers. Windows, busy with other things, asks the browser to hold on for a microsecond.

After a couple of them it finally grunts "papers, please" and then ensures the browser has permission to access to all these directories. Six layers. Satisfied, it gives them a magic number for the cubicle containing the function that will actually give the contents of those files. The browser approaches this address, asks "hey, so do any of those directories have a file named mysite.cookie on here?" A familiar refrain rings out. "Maaaaybe... Who's asking?" Seven layers. After confirming your browser's papers once again, it references seven different indices and writes up a request slip before waddling down to the hard drive and knocking on a door. "Hey, got a request for contents at chunk 87, sector 9, bytes 2,874 through 2,996!" Hard drive gives the slip a look and replies "Okay, expect your delivery to arrive within 5-7 business milliseconds." Eight layers.

12 milliseconds pass.

Eventually the raw text of the cookie file reaches the function you requested it from and it throws the papers in a stack at you. "My work here is done." The browser trudges back through the checkpoint while Windows Defender rifles through your browser's memory for viruses with all the effectiveness of the TSA. Nine layers. A bell jingles as the browser enters through the door of your framework and throws all the papers on its desk in a pile. The jingle rings out again as the browser's work is finally done. Ten layers. Your javascript framework, realizing it's working with IE7, grabs scissors and cuts out the relevant token, packaging it up in the latest json specification and throwing it down the function return chute. Eleven layers. However, since this is a promise function and javascript doesn't support true multithreading, the return package languishes for hundreds of microseconds until javascript gets around to checking it. Twelve layers.

Hey, your session token is here! Unfortunately, the cookie was created by a chrome browser. Due to a hitherto undiscovered bug in mode.jk, the token's expiration date was stored in unix timestamp format, but the framework assumed it was created by the browser you're using, which would have stored the date in MMDDYYYHHSS format, and the misinterpreted data claims this token expired in 1979.

Would you like to create an account?

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better

[cre8tivit]

So, About The Depressing State of the Industry

I suppose I’m going to jump right in with the heavy stuff for this first news/article review post and talk about the mass layoffs and acquisitions flooding the industry at the moment. It feels like every time I turn around some large-scale company has thrown a multi-million dollar sum to buy out a studio just to shut it down a month later.

EA games laid off 5% of its entire workforce in February 2024. This is after axing 800 jobs in March of 2023 directly after claiming to be in a strong financial position. Other AAA companies have done the same.  On the other end of things, smaller studios and fully indie teams are axing positions at a comparable rate— Phoenix Labs, Wildcard, Velan, Keoken, and more.

The numbers are growing and growing by the day, and with each new report I begin to wonder:

What are these layoffs actually about?

The larger companies like EA are crowing to the winds about restructuring and record-making sales even as they axe hundreds of positions. What are they restructuring for? The answer— unsurprisingly— is probably money. That’s the blunt reality of what businesses do in a capital-driven system: they demand profit, specifically increased profit. 

They want to make more money and spend less money. So what do they do? They cut corners— axe off anything and anyone that is not forecasted to make them that extra billion within the fiscal year.

With a deficit of labor protections and unions, the games industry is especially vulnerable to this executive-level game of minesweeper. With little to no consequence to their actions, there’s no downside to eliminating positions for these large businesses.

Then there’s the hot-button-word: AI.

AI is a complex, multifaceted topic that spans half a million different legal and moral arguments. I am not here to pass judgment on AI as a whole. It can be useful. It can be incredibly useful. It is, however, a level of legality Wild West that measures up with the early internet. Copyright violations are only the tip of the iceberg.

I do think that a fair number of large businesses, not just in games, have looked at AI and done the exact same thing they did with NFTs.

They jumped on the bandwagon for quick cash while the law can’t do much to stop them. It’s not about the use, it’s not about the science, it’s about how much money it can save them by eliminating paychecks.

Do Your Own Research, This Is Subjective.

I’m not an economist, I don’t pretend to know the intricacies of how the financial sector functions. These are my own observations and opinions. And in short: it looks remarkably like corporate penny-pinching. That dominoes down to scare investors, scare smaller-scale developers, and cut the pool of money going in— causing more layoffs. 

I’ve no doubt there are other factors— again, not an economist— but that’s the biggest billboard in this situation.

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

Feeling under the weather today. I started getting sick in the middle of the week. I slept a lot yesterday and hope to have a quiet weekend.

I hope you enjoy the links.

Paul Lefebvre

Just a few days ago, BASIC turned 60! On May 1, 1964 BASIC was created by Dartmouth College professors John G. Kemeny and Thomas E. Kurtz.

I really love BASIC. It was the first programming language I learned and used professionally. It was all MS-DOS based at the time and the language had changed over time to include functions and custom data types. It was a really great language.

I owe my career to Microsoft BASIC Professional Development System. ❤️

Joseph Heck

Designing a Swift library with data-race safety

Swift concurrency changes are going to be a lot of fun and take some effort to restructure existing code to make use of it.

And by fun I mean a lot hair pulling, teeth gnashing and head banging on the desk.

Jeremy Mathai • /Film

Marvel couldn’t have made a better choice if it had the Time Stone itself. Back when a “Doctor Strange” movie was far from a guaranteed hit, Scott Derrickson and Kevin Feige knew they simply couldn’t afford to get the casting wrong.

Can you imagine anyone other than Benedict Cumberbatch playing Dr. Strange? I can’t.

And to think Joaquin Phoenix was on their radar sounds strange to me. To be clear Joaquin Phoenix is an amazing actor and can play anything but after seeing Benedict Cumberbatch playing him I can’t imagine anyone else doing it.

Anton Zaides

I always knew that distractions in the workplace are harmful, but only after reading Deep Work by Cal Newport, did I understand how severe the problem is!

This is why I prefer an office to open office spaces. I don’t know how anyone thrives in an open space. Add multiple meetings a day to the mix and you’re not getting much done.

Since the pandemic I’ve been working from home and it’s wonderful. I can control my entire workspace. 🖥️

K. Denise Rucker Krepp • CNN

In some military circles and among many who consider themselves aficionados of Confederate history. The Ruckers have a history of military service going back generations. They’ve also had deep roots in America’s shameful Confederate past. That includes my distant cousin, Col. Edmund Rucker.

It’s really nice to see the Confedercy being dismantled. Now, if we could get rid of the white supremacists and bigots that would be amazing. One step at a time, I suppose.

Collin Woodard • Jalopnik

Tesla laid off at least 10 percent of its workforce earlier this month, and in typical Tesla fashion, the Texas-based automaker made sure the layoffs were done in an organized fashion with plenty of communication and a clearly defined strategy. Just kidding. The layoffs were so poorly executed that security was forced to scan employees’ badges at the door to figure out who had been laid off. And, apparently, that included a guy who had taken to sleeping in his car and showering at the factory so he could work longer hours.

Musk is such a nice, standup, fella, isn’t he? 🤬

Nothing sticks to this guy. I guess that’s what happens when you’re a narcissistic sociopath.

Richard Speed • The Register

Google’s latest round of layoffs have hit engineers working on its Flutter and Python teams.

And… more layoffs. Tech has had a rough couple years.

Howard Oakley

In my quest to implement a full app written for SwiftUI on macOS, my next tasks concern the app’s Settings, how to set those as User Defaults, how to implement some of their more common controls, and how to customise the About window. In these, SwiftUI starts to come into its own, in comparison with AppKit, although it does have a couple of surprising shortcomings.

I love it when folks share their code and experience! I’m not brave enough to do that! Thanks for the code! 👨🏽‍💻

David Merritt Johns • The Atlantic

Back in 2018, a Harvard doctoral student named Andres Ardisson Korat was presenting his research on the relationship between dairy foods and chronic disease to his thesis committee. One of his studies had led him to an unusual conclusion: Among diabetics, eating half a cup of ice cream a day was associated with a lower risk of heart problems.

This is weird to read. Ice Cream for diabetics? I mean, anything for ice cream. Amirite? 🍦

Chance Miller, Ben Lovejoy, and Filipe Espósito • 9to5Mac

A little over a year ago, General Motors made what may well turn out to be one of its biggest gambles in many years: dropping support for CarPlay for all future EVs.

The author thinks this was a mistake. I don’t.

I’m hoping this will turn out well for GM. Just don’t serve up a bunch of ads for new features and other products.

Brian Ramian • Los Angeles Times

Opinion: I once lived in my car and can’t fathom criminalizing homelessness

When I worked at LEVEL Studios in 2010 I had trouble finding a place I could stay fairly cheaply after my sub-lease ran out. I lived in my car for a week. It wasn’t horrible, but its wasn’t ideal.

[silvaurum]

mental conversation i was having with myself to explore why i tend to just. Do chores and stuff rather than asking someone if they need to be done or what should be done or whatever. and going "well, historically, just asking or expecting them to do things competently and independently wasn't really an option." we've got: my grandma (hoarder, deeply stubborn and verbally aggressive), my mom (hoarder, alcoholic, verbally aggressive), my sibling (autistic, minimal executive function and severe anxiety, basically unable to focus fully on any one task), and my dad (stubborn, plays helpless to avoid doing hard things)

and then its like. hm yes i wonder why i developed the habit of just doing shit myself when it needed to be done. roommates are just people you have to babysit so they don't die.

and then i went OOF. hold up rewind that. "roommates are just people you have to babysit so they don't die"??? holy shit i don't. what. no wonder you dream about living in a closet all alone where nobody can bother you. god damn. what the fuck. the people you live with are just innately incapable of running things without you? intro to codependency 101 first class shit. i mean i hate that that was arguably true for you in so many ways so like, you didn't just make that up. it's not true, but. you had some good reasons to believe it.

& you're including your parents and siblings in roommates (what else would they be? i live with them.) and then. furthermore roommates as people are... inherently going to take advantage of you? 😬 we really need to unpack that but like. oof. man. oof. ok. yeah ok yeah this may be a triggering subject for us, huh? ok.

[highlights-of-the-lowlife]

now just maybe its not some grand scheme against you in the form of authorities countering your glorious message. maybe its because you're deeply unlikeable. maybe its because your message is convoluted, contradictory and unpopular. posting instead of feeding people who are hungry right now then demanding they become your footsoldiers and die for your cause on the promise you'll make things better at a vague point in the future.

the whole point is you need to reach out to the public in ways that aren't online, aren't needlessly cruel dogwhistles and aren't deeply offputting. "We're so much smarter than you and also willing to kill half your city to prove it" is not the winning strategy it looks like.

do you read about any of the revolutions you claim are great? the american revolution wasn't the war of 1812. the french revolution didn't succeed. the monarchy was re-established. mostly because the revolutionary councils turned into murder fanatics killing rivals for the pettiest reasons.

bringing me to my last point. by any means necessary is why nobody likes you. the average person can see through all the glorious revolution bullshit and see its going to lead to mass death. is deliberate targeting of civilians part of those means? what about collective punishment? rape as a means of terrorism? ethnic cleansing? execution of the children of those you claim oppose you? all of these are examples from revolutions from the last 80 years.

you can't just sit on the internet and claim we'll kill the baddies and wonder why nobody listens to you. i've seen people defend all the above examples then complain they get no traction. i've received threats from people for talking about how violent revolution actually sucks and fails 98% of the time. for some reason i have to respect the efforts of those doing violent work even when that work is literally just posting and sending threats. i've seen people claim that tik tok will lead the glorious revolution because its the best mass education platform ever. their contribution to making a functioning society will be dance challenges and misinformation.

but no the lack of support couldn't be anything you've done or deliberately avoided doing. gotta be some shadowy actions against you. hope that doesn't spiral into conspiratorial thinking where more violence is the answer.

listen i am not american. i understand that even democrats fucking suck and its a genuinely shitty situation to be in. im so sorry. but hey, hey look at me. why are you guys bullying people for saying "you should still vote blue?" Like im curious about the alternatives youve got. voting red? firebombing walmart? tumblr user catboyssepticbutthole, i know you will not be firebombing walmart.