#its gonna hurt all over again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aleki-lives-here · 4 months

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Re-reading the novel does not make me feel prepared for what is to come. I'm closer and closer to Jin Ling's one month celebration, and I close the book every paragraph because soon everything's gonna go to shit, and I'm so not ready

If I don't read it, it's like it never happens, right?

Right? T-T

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #im so not ready #its gonna hurt all over again

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moeblob · 2 months

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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lets-all-calm-down-a-bit · 1 day

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yeah. anyways-

#i need smiling friends to pull a morel orel and slowly get... genuinely fucked and realistic #i need there to be a breaking point episode where pim finally is like:#“i did all of this cause i wanted to make you happy. you know after you died ive constantly been scared to death its gonna happen again? i #and he just leaves #i want a breaking point #i cant fucking wait. charlie i need you to finally hear pim tell you how much its hurting him to talk to someone who never gives a shit abo #i need the bandages youve been plastering onto every fight to finally come undone so everything bleeds out #i need it to force you to come to terms with your own thoughts and feelings- making you realize in an attempt to suffocate your own emotion #me when im sobbing throwing up and screaming over a dumbass adult swim show #colby rambles #adult swim #smiling friends #charlie dompler #pim pimling #charlie and pim

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luck-of-the-drawings · 11 months

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"You'll never drown if you keep swimming.." very nice words to hear after the stressful ordeal of making a deal with the devil! I REALLY LOVE JAY FERIN. when shes not carrying the team in battle shes very much carrying more emotional luggage than others seem to give her credit for. im cheering for her! go girl, go get the team together!

#jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #jrwi riptide spoilers #BWUHH SO I FINISHED THIS ONE RECENTLY ACTUALLY #IT WAS ROTTIN IN MY WIPS FOREEEVERRRRR GWUHHH IM SO HAPPY TO SET IT FREE #I HAD SUUUCH A HARD TIME WITH THE GODDAMN HANDS HERE....#IF U THINK THAT LOOKS GOOD THEN U BETTER BELIEEEEVE I BLED FOR IT!!!!#IN other news tho #chips sad boy arc!! i loooved seeing him get all sad n self hating. sayin hes not a good friend or a good pirate or AAAA #baby gorl..... i think its neat to see characters that normally try their best to build themself up soo much finally crumble #i liked seeing the Bastard Title finally get to him. and i like how hes acting after getting thru that arc!#like on one hand hes actin like sooo much more of a baby lately but its like. thats just how he stands up for himself. yknow?#the HEY. BE NICE! sorta stuff. LOVE that for chippy like yeeeess baby girl tell ur friends that they hurt ur feelings #what else can i say here.... NIKLAUS. OUH. OUHH MY GOD NIKLAUS I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH #I LOVE HOW HE TALKS TO JAY I HOPE THEY CAN TALK MORE IN THE FUTURE... godddd i jus wanna see him again..........#anywyay thats all my thoughts im gonna go obsess over prime defenders again baaaaiiiiiii #IF YOU SAW A TYPO NO U FUCKIN DIDNT

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ace-apple · 3 months

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me when theres more corruptions and deaths and villain arcs and possessions and whered the joy go wheres the joy. will they heal can they heal please can we get something good for once i thought we learned from the dsmp ending

#qsmp crit #qsmp neg #im sorry just. hearing that theres possibility for ANOTHER deeply hurt character to have a fucked up corruption villain arc #is making me a bit tired.#i really hope cellbits villain character is gonna be not qcellbit and instead a new character #cuz im so tired of all these cubitos getting kicked while theyre down over and over and over again #its turning into dsmp pacing again for me and im sick of it #id love to have a new fucked up villain character a la elquackity!#i just dont want it to be someone we already knew just turning awful for no reason.#maybe its just cuz qcellbits whole self loathing thing hits rlly close to home for me #and i really just want that guy to be offered a hand by the rest of the islanders #i just. AUGH.#its all purgatory it all comes back to purgatory #qsmp #im just. cccellbit i trust you. but im also begging you to make the villain a new character your cubito has been thru enough

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digirainebow · 10 months

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i didn't think jacob would be arguing with olivia, wanting it almost as much as her. what the hell. i expected the self defeated, taking one for the team attitude but actively needing it like her? when he had been trying to stop her all night? i feel like i've been blasted by a buckshot

#digi discusses #the world needs more jacobs and i just took him out of it #did he go back to being a kid again? to see the lights of possibility again?#to feel like he's doing something exciting and worthwhile again not by making art but by being “freed” by maggie's knowledge once more?#or did he. choose another timeline entirely? augh i'm gonna have to watch the ending back again...where did he go...#maggie would be turning in her graaaaaave to know he chose this. she would hate that for him she would h a t e it #the anna parallels. stuck between time only able to hear him on radios if you are lucky. fuck off #becoming an urban legend...i think he would have liked that. immortalized just like he wanted. ugh wait did riley do that for him #but the details getting lost his name becoming warped over time? i think riley (and i) would feel it was almost disrespectful to his memory #the fact he puts meeting riley on the same pedestal as saving camena. god god god god. even when they aren't friends they are.#riley talking to athena like a person like he did. i am MISERABLE #its the dys exocolonist thing all over again. he's happy and that's...good. but he could have been just as happy if he'd stayed too #every single time i think about the hug i'm going to cry #every single ending has done this to me there is literally no winning #being kinda mean to him was bad enough but this ending just feels! it feels like riley. like i. drove him to.#girl i need to log off bye #oxenfree II spoilers #yeah there's the essay. just took a minute #i will make another one about hurt healed olivia in a bit too because that. made me sob. that one hit really...close to home #he says when he was a teenager he would have fallen for it if someone told him he could open a portal in the sky and make things better #what a liar he would still do it now #EDIT: NO i knew it he says almost exactly what nona says after you hug her when you hug him. the orange-associated characters strike again

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dandyshucks · 3 months

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i havent watched wrestling in so long but i saw some gifs of tonight's match and. whew. that stuff is crazy.

#i dont think i have a very good understanding of wrestling still 🧍#im gonna embarrass myself by admitting this but . abdjdkdl #i thought wrestling was real hurting each other up until last year. and then i found out it was staged #and so i assumed oh they dont actually get hurt then i guess. maybe they fake concussions and stuff or maybe that happens accidentally #and uhm. now i think thats wrong again DBFJDML now im back to ''oh wait. they do actually hurt each other.''#i was like oh okay its all staged so that blood must be fake that I've seen in some photos online #THE BLOOD IS REAL. THE BLOOD IS REAL! WHAT !!!#whats his face had glass cuts all over him. help? what is happening #im just here for the homoeroticism 😭😭😭 im sorry for not being a real wrassle boy fan yet fjffkdl I'll get there eventually #its just A Lot to try to understand so i keep bouncing back and forth on being interested and thinking its too much work #anyways i was originally going to say that the blood was hot but then i got distracted oops #but good golly i hope these guys are like... okay. because wow that was. a lot!#dandy.cmd

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just-spacetrash · 4 months

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🫥

#bereal is ruining my lifeeeeeeee urghhhhhhhhhhh #all my friends are like having a lovely dinner or something apparently</3 while im at home all alone #and like i know im not as close to them as they are with each other i know #and i understand and i know its my fault for not reaching out and shit i knowwwww #i just dont like seeing the reminders fsgdgdhhd #and i cant even reassure myself with 'oh obviously theyll see eachother more often than u do u live in another city'#but few of them live in another city too😭😭#i know im not a home dinner friend... it just hurts to see again and again #im trying my best but i dont even know how id become a home dinner friend #not heartbreak of a night but like. a bummer of a night anyway #public diary moment over im gonna watch video essays #my post

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blobbei-art · 2 years

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Listen up, listen up

There’s a devil in the church

Got a bullet in the chamber and

This is gonna hurt

#theresia #ocs #art #my art #artists on tumblr #yeah im finally drawing a little again after some major art block #im either uploading a lot over the course of like a week or nothing at all for months lol #anyway theresia my beloved #ive revamped her backstory a little and its STILL kind of messy aaaugh #either way that doesnt stop me from drawing her with a cool church aestehtic #the caption are lyrics from This Is Gonna Hurt by Sixx A.M.#which is VERY much her vibes. on top of her playlist

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august--and-everything-after · 6 months

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#a couple of them are genuinely very sweet BUT no one has made the effort to reach out to me after i was laid off from a job that everyone #knew was really fucking important to me so how much did they actually care yknow?#kind of want to just cut everyone off and start over its not like we talk anyways #the only thing stopping me is these 'what if' scenarios where they decide they want to have me back in their lives again #but like who am i fooling thats not gonna happen babe #if they haven't done so by now - more than 2 months out - then theyre not gonna #idk it's hard making a final decision to cut connections i thought meant something #i went to a coworkers *wedding* but when I messaged her recently i got a flat conversation-killing response #i dunno man i think this is all hurting me more than any potential benefit could help me #August talking

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pomfiores · 2 years

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the grief after the loss is something so foreign but at the same time not new. how do you even explain that. just Big Big grief. i have her doll - its so worn and nasty but she loved this dirty thing and i can’t throw it away. can’t even cancel appointments/make calls/drink apple juice without falling apart and losing dignity lmao i’m so fuckedddd.

#◟ ⋆ㅤㅤif my hair's a mess﹐my mind's a mess.ㅤ( ooc )#to delete *#i sit on it for a moment or even a second and the tears fall :thumbs up:#pet loss /#vent in tags /#cleaned up her kennel last night. cleaned up the bed. i have to clean the floor still. her bowl is here. just. ughhhh.#i brought in echo and idk if she even realizes.#im fine one moment then just falling apart and i get a headache for it.#ill stop lol i promise im just. still in shock. grief isnt new to me but this kind is. at the same time not #i lost a pet before but not like this. not putting them down. not sitting there for their last moments #i didnt want to but i know she'd look for me if i didnt stay just #its better for her. it was. considering the grand scheme it was so necessary #i have to clean the giant teddy bear i have bc we both used to sit on it but as things got worse #she started using the bathroom on it so thats necessary to clean but i just. can't bring myself to despite wanting to. needing to.#i know when i get her ashes im gonna break all over again thi sfucking sucks man #my brother said he respects me a lot for staying with her during those last minutes bc he couldnt with his dog- he wasnt strong enough #i dont feel strong enough i was falling apart in that office lol.#but your pets look for you when thats happening. in a room of strangers. they look for you.#cant see myself leaving any of my animals for themselves like that. itll hurt so fucking much i just know it.#this was hard i cant imagine for binx and echo.#setting yourself up for heartbreak with pets but i know ill do it again.#almost bursting into tears in public how fucking humiliating asjfha #crying in the vets office was humiliating enough but i didnt really care anymore #the vets were so kind but looking back i just cry again but idk what else to think of bc she's not here.#just traces and it sucks!!!!#edit: im probably gonna have to call work again and ask for another two days for bereavement lol #i did lose someone else too but this is my girl. i raised her. i put her down.#i cant pretend that much with a deep loss. i cried on the phone with my hr manager lmao that was fucking bad #might def cry more when i ask. im expecting them to let me bc these are my days off yesterday wasnt but #it was so abrupt.

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scarah-screeeaaammss · 11 months

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I hate resellers. Like a lot. like okay I get it, sometimes that's the only way someone can keep themselves on their feet. I'm not mad at them. I'm pissed about people who clearly don't need to go thrifting and reselling who do it anyway and it's like bro. Come on. Don't you feel a little bad? don't you know that thrifting is already getting more expensive??