#so im a bit scared to try them again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mejomonster · 2 years

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I'm getting a little better babes guess who just had pumpkin bread today! And kimchi all week! And potatoes bread yesterday!

#rant #my health issues #ueah i know it doesnt sound like a big deal #but september 2021 i couldnt eat liquids or solids at all and was vomiting nonstop #november 2021 i could eat mushy vegetables of somr kinds and mushy meatballs #and was still throwing up often #now i havent thrown up at all in a month #i havent been able to eat cabbage in over a year. it would cause immense pain whrn i tried #and thus whole week? NO PAIN FROM THE KIMCHI CABBAGR #i also havent been able to eat bread of any kind for a year. i had a little bread in spring 2022 until #food tolerance lowered again and i couldnt tolerate even a bite #i am trying small portions of breads and cabbages again and its going okay!#slight 1-2 pound bloating like a normal person response #but no intense pain and stopping my medicine from moving my gi tract anymore!#i am gonna try beans eventually but they hurt super bad too from even 1 spoonful when i tried in august #so im a bit scared to try them again #i did try potatoes and while i tolerated them a liytle. they definitely slowed my gi tract and made me flush #but im Actually Sensitive to potatoes. so its not a this past year health issue thing. its a lifetime sensitivity #so im just glad i could eat somr potatoe without intensd pain. it shows im going back toward normal function for me #4ather than how sick ive been #also magnesium is FINALLY hitting me like a normal person!#rhis past year if i took like 8 capsules magnesium citrate it would do nothing #yesterday i took 3 the suggested dosage and it made me use bathroom in a couple hours #which i was shocked by cause. ive had 10+ for like a week in a row befote and they didnt help at all

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leafwateraddict · 3 months

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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.

He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.

The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.

Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho

(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓

I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3

#hoodies are hard #i need to practice more #hrmmm #also i guess the new sona is staying #lol #theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached #he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them #hes selfish #theres so much angst potential here hehehoo #the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace #but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans #You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans #dust sans #my beloved #my beloathed #sans x self insert #sans x reader #sans x you #undertale au #fic idea #prolly a oneshot #leafs art #replaced au

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shesmore-shoebill · 1 month

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devastated that tumblr is not showing the post i made clipping the pokemon types moment in the tags/tag search, bc its such a good video and DESERVES to be seen. there's only one explanation for this. tumblr is scared by the power of amanda lehan canto's new vision for the pokemon franchise. they really hate to see a girlboss winning. shame on them.

#again i try to mostly post for myself but im making an exception bc this post is so funny and if people dont watch the full video #(though they should) i want them to at least see that bit of it.#tumblr why are you scared of the freedom pokemon type huh. are you intimidated by the vision of mist type pokemon. i bet u are.#smosh #amanda lehan canto #smosh pit #what would tommy do

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lucksea · 2 months

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now that artfight is over i can take some time to properly design them before i make new refs

#null havoc damage #ultraman showtime #allegro and lyle are basically done i think. i just gave allegro his arm fins back #i took them off at one point but after remembering that belial and geed have them im putting em back on #i still think lyle looks too simple but then again whenever i try to draw a showa ultra i go 'this is too simple'#so im leaving him as he is .#i adapted zero darkness' markings for zstar this time and i like it a lot i think the lightning bolt esc patterns look super cool #marize also looks too simple but alas... i dont want to overdesign her either #im also not sure i like the shade of pink i picked for her metal i might mess with her colors more #but i like the idea of her metallic bits being iridescent bc she looks like a fish #i did not attempt to do that in the shading though . which may be why it looks bad #idk. my power is flickering so im too scared to draw on my pc so ipad doodles are happening instead #i also dont know why i gave zstar that stupid ass smirk i just drew it on her and was like yeah ok #I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE THE BOYS MATTE AND THE GIRLS SHINY. THATS JUST HOW IT SHOOK OUT #allegro could be shiny but when i tried to make him shiny it looked weird. might try again later #i think i just need to do a bunch of iterations with marize and then pick one and make myself be satisfied with it #or else im going to mess with her design for weeks on end. sorry mari

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plan-3-tmars · 1 month

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thinking abt how in the bible the holy spirit is represented by a dove, an animal that is pure white and represents . purity. And innocence

thinking about how in angel's egg the girl is. well. a little girl (and innocent kid) and is also near pure white in skin tone and hair and is also followed by feathers whenever she runs

warning for a massive ramble in the tags major spoilers for the whole movie if you want to venture in there lmao

#the bird is god the egg is the son the girl is the holy spiritt #the man is judas #the egg is the son (jesus) and he betrays the girl by destroying the egg when she is asleep #the water bottles are offerings to the bird (god)#the man fears god . he thinks god has abandoned them and fears a potential wipeout with the water levels rising every night #thats why he qoutes the bible passages about the story of god trying to destory humankind #thats why he destroys the egg. he is frightened of what may be inside #id say hes also scared of the girl a tinsy bit but that's just my personal understanding of his facial expressions #i think the fish shadows and the other men represent humanitys determination to live and persevere #also how desperation for a better life in times of tough can quickly turn into anger at the wrong ppl #those damn fish arent doing anything! but its the closet thing the people of the town can try and kill to earn back a sense of agency #the towns are going to keep flooding every night anyway though because they're directing their anger at the wrong thing #i still rlly enjoy the reveal that the land is actually noah's ark flipped upside down #again going into my thing of humanitys determination to survive. they couldnt find land so they live on the literal boat #does depend on whether or not you interpret the towns flooding at night god trying to finish the job and destory his creation or if its like #rising sea tide or sm. im personally more inclined to the 1st one tho #especially with whatever the hell is going on with that big sphere eyeball thing #i still dont know what the deal with that thing is after so many rewatches #i fear i never well #if you made it this far . congrats. also watch angels egg #i wanted to compile my thoughts somewhere.. unfortunately i dont think ill ever make a coherent post about this movie #its just too Like That and full of mystery for me to ever be happy with an analysis cuz theres definitely going to be a plot hole in there #somewhere so take instead.. unorganized thoughts of my brain jumping from idea to idea #angels egg #angels egg spoilers

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dahldahlbills · 7 months

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I really need to get serious about personal projects again

#I think I said something like this last year too lol #currently in a weird headspace about it #the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom #(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back)#so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom #and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason #it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully #I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff #but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me?#idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol #it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people #and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :(#and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom #which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do #im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air #so I really can’t afford to dawdle #there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have #but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself #I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️#anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those !#blahblahbills #delete later

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girlcrushau · 6 months

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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

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piplupod · 3 months

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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset

#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul #and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately #been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies #and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl #im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired #it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand #and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife #and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre #and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone #but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn #bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief #i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling #and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it #like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere #im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues #to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back #and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe #a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated #who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that #it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable #okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc #one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #self harm mention

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cerealmonster15 · 3 months

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i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was

#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it #but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out #and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things #but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF #tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER #i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs #but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku #ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it #ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy #but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL #miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl #It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn #jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think #but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i #also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht #or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me #it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp #god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her #im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD #ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk #or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho #that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those #dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL #and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children #theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again #i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll #i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground #also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding

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layzorr · 5 months

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Mm

#i hate myself sometimes #i really fucking hate myself sometimes #i fucked up a relationship for my host and ill never het to exolain myself #he says hes not mad but i know he misses them and he got so fucking depressed over it #i keeo messing up i keep being so fucking mean #im always so fucking angry and scared all the time #i feel so fucking ugly and gross and just Bad #i dont like my body i dont like my face #i never have the energy to talk to people and it makes me such a bich #im always such a bitch to everyone #and i dont know how to stop #and i dont know if i can actually get better #fuck #i miss my friends #i dont know if they even think of me as friends at this point #because im always fucking gone #i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again #i dont know how to stop #im trying i swear im trying #bit i act like my grandma i always have #and i dont know how to stopm #i hate how similiar wr are i hatebit i hate it i hate it #im the one who was there when she. did tha. to us #im the one who had to have that memory #im fhe one who felt it #andbi know its my hodts trauma too #but ive always felt ot ive always been the one who had to carry it #and im just #i do not think i am a good person #i do not know how to be a good person

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 8 months

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oh my god i think i just had an epiphany

#bear with me i have been awake for 26 straight hours now. but.#ideal gender presentation: i want to be a drag king who looks like a vampire from the lost boys. but like. permanently #do you understnad me. can anyone hear me #not even ljke one of the specific characters or anything . just. 80s vampire.#who if you put nect to the cast of the lost boys youd be like “yeah he belongs there”#i have also. VERY recently started using he/him pronouns to refer to myself #and this is a very new thing so i havent asked anyone else to do it yet but. smile emoji. idk. feeling more masc than usual lately .#they/them is still default but if u ever wanted to sprinkle in a little hes and hims for flavor... i would not complain.#trying it out. like a new flavor of tea i dont know if i like yet #i NEED to meet someone who does drag i need someone to put me in drag makeup bc i dont know how to do it myself #and im afraid if i do it bad itll scare me away from ever trying again .#i fumbled a little bit with my cwilbur costume for halloween 2022 and it felt good but also i didnt do Much. i need someone talented

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possiblytracker · 1 year

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rolling on the floor and weeping bc i do not have the time in the day to sit down and work on art that takes concerted effort and thought (especially not now i have very recently learned i have until friday to get most of my stuff out of this house) i am playing a neverending game of "am i going to be able to pull this off or am i going to have to weigh up whether it'd be ruder to make commissions as artfight attacks or wait til august"

#bc god knows july is going to be the only time i can body myself into working at this point #ill prolly just try and ride the Artfight High to do the existing comms without actually uploading them if it would be a dick move to #try and get points out of them gkhjSDB #bc i have a feeling it might be and id feel bad. like. it goes against the spirit of the event or smth?#either way i have given up on opening new comms for now i will deal with the crushing debt later #aiming to reopen in august or maybe july but ik artfight month is kind of an 'off season' khgSKDJ #its!!! i feel bad because I Have been drawing ive been doing the askblog and a few misc things for artfight prep but #those dont take as much time and effort and Deliberate Thought as working on smth for other people and i am crawling with anxiety #full disclosure i even have one done!!! a whole commission sitting there!! forabout a week!! but ive been scared to get into Conversations #so its like. ok. im just gonna. continue shoveling the heap of Life Problems out of the way slowly #and eventually the giant pile will become small enough i can think about other things again and it will be ok #ill have a bit of time at home this weekend with not much else to do so. ill see how wiped out i am #at least things are gonna get good this week there is light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to ..

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mwagneto · 1 year

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ppl will literally hold my face in both hands and look me in the eyes and say im the most perfect person they know and that im important to them and they want to be there for me. and ill still be like uhm what if they're just saying it to be nice but secretly hate my guts

#not rly true coz i feel more secure w this friend group than i ever have #partly bc forcing myself to recover from mento illness is going great and #partly because well. they hold my face in both hands and tell me they'd kill for me #i dont think they hate me im just always worried im annoying which is kinda new #not even annoying im just scared they'll get sick of me if im too.... too everything ig #and im desperately trying not to think about the fact that im going to move to a #different country and leave all of them and it's gonna be miserable #it's crazyyyy how fast time is moving. i need to enjoy every second coz man...#at least the work we have to do means we're gonna be traveling and living together basically all summer #and a bit in spring too #im literally winning life tbh and it's only the 2nd semester #we'll see. and the bad thing is i have no idea how i got such a big friend group so quickly and i #knowww that if i change majors or move away im never gonna have anything like this again #i literally like going to uni coz i miss them when im home that's so fucked up. like wtf.#im so not used to missing ppl like this and to ppl wanting to be around me it's crazy. hi #barking

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james-silenthill · 1 year

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Ohhh im not going to survive this semester

#delete later skater #doomspiralling a little bit #im on my meds again #yay!#i got a promotion in a job that literally doesnt pay me #i have four classes at once in two months #im al*ne #my grandfather might be dying again? theres a scare every few months #and i cant be there #all that= not so yay!#earlier today i realized i really miss going to the mall and talking with like the fucking spencers employees and the tattoo artists and all #them #like everyone was always trying to network and make connections and tbh. it was fun #and now im at a place where i cant #its like a gilded cage in here

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caruliaa · 2 years

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#last one is less a statement on carmens swiftie status (she likes her music but is less of a swiftie than jules btw) but more abt #like. being into cs and tswift together. like the cs equvelant of swiftienatural yk #also funny for me to be like uugh im so scared to post abt atla aah everyone will judge me then include an atla url in this.#but i think the girlies will agree w this one and also that no one give a shit if my characterizations arent exactly like theirs.#easy girl chill a bit its fine. its fine !! u can enjoy things like a cheesy teen song in regards to the characters in a more light hearted #way and no ones judging u . ur fine chill. !!! (<- trying to tell myself that. sorry for being weird Again)#also i have multiple ones that r [tswift song]carulia but to cover them all i j included caruliataylosversion #flappy rambles

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nomairuins · 29 days

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i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list

#its difficult. i used to be rly good abt not doing kms type jokes bc i did when i was younger and then i stopped bc of um . stuff #nd i think it rly was good for me nd then ykw started making them a LOT and now i do them constantly and ik itis bad for me like. as a guy #whos been suicidal since i was 7. yk. ik itisnt good for me but its hard #idk. i need 2 try 2 stop making them again. like idt ppl who make them r evil I personally dont tend to use them very seriously #it rly is judt a like. Ugh something annoying happened i should kms. but like. witht he we should kill connor joke its Less and less a joke #and more just feeding into ummmmm. the bad parts of my thing that i have to be vague abt so ppl dont worry.#Im not planning anything its not that. its just a belief i have that is ummm concerning to many but very comforting to me and keeps me sane #but i dont like 2 talk abt it . bc ppl tend to get worried its rly not anything that bad its judt likeee. I know that thing is true and #there isnt anything i can do to stop it from happening so i made peace with it ages ago and its comforting that i dont have 2 like. worry #abt whatll happen bc ik whatll happen #sry im being vague ive like. i think ive mentioned it a couple times and ppl get very concerned (my old psych literally told me verbatim #That sounds so terrifying.) and likeee. there have been times its scared me a lot like i can remember a few times i woke up having a panic #attack bc i didnt want to do it but i know thats whatll happen and its fine. but it wont be any time soon #it keeps me from doing anything honestly bc like. why rush FJFNFJNFNik itll happen eventually no matter what i do so even when it gets bad #enough i think abt it im like. yk. it helps. i kind of lost a bit of vagueness. please dont worry abt it fr like. it keeps me sane it keeps #me calm. but anyways i say all this to sayyyy that like. idk it might be a while b4 i commit to trying to stop making jokes like that just #bc like. i have a lot of other stuff abt me i need 2 fix first but i think it would probably be good for me if i stopped. sigh. which suck #bc like its been said time and time again that like. Im going to kms is just like. it encapsulates feelings very well there r like no other #exclamations that fit. aside from the like. Krill my shellfish type things but thats the reason i slipped back into just saying kms in rhe #first place so. UGH. and theres so many fucking stupid tjmblr ones. like no im not going to sub Kys for Go step on a lego >_< bc like... im #not 1. 5 or 2. 27. the 2 ages i think ppl would say shit like that.#sry my vendetta against 27 year olds is neverending idk i just dont like whatever happens to tumblr users of dhat age. ive mentioned it #several times inwont go into it and im probably near out of tags anyway #ive got 7 more spend em wisely one supposes. idk. its just difficult. ik its judt words and shit and im sure i cn come up with good #alternatives. theres judt like not any rhat r like the same vibe without also reinforcing My stuff in an unhealthy way. idk. idkk #like not that making kms jokes is gonna make me do it anytime soon but like yk . ik i cant blame my self loathing spike on this alone #bc ive like. Beeeeeeeen going through some stuff thats contributing way more #but i do think before i started making these jokes again my self loathing and like. rhe amt of time i thought abt it was less . idk #sui ment #<- jic i tried not to be like. too much. but you know

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