#and its like bro its not even worth that come on

[scarah-screeeaaammss]

I hate resellers. Like a lot. like okay I get it, sometimes that's the only way someone can keep themselves on their feet. I'm not mad at them. I'm pissed about people who clearly don't need to go thrifting and reselling who do it anyway and it's like bro. Come on. Don't you feel a little bad? don't you know that thrifting is already getting more expensive??

[blujayonthewing]

man it sucks that systems like alexa and google home can't function without connecting to the internet and also reporting back to Evil Corporations because I DO actually want a robot in my house that I can packbond with who will turn my music on for me when my hands are busy but I don't want it to spy on me 24/7 and work for jeff fucking bezos

[faunandfloraas]

fansites that blur the other members faces are so funny to me. like why. we know who he's standing next to.

[follyshroom]

I know I technically passed the Trigun Stargaze date but I was busy fighting demons (sane Trigun fan reactions) until night became morning

[mumpsetc]

Ive Recently Become Fixated On Treasure Chest Winning PPT2 Because I Think His Victory Would Be Just So Hollow, So Devoid of Joy or Self Satisfaction. I Want Him to Win and Feel Nothing.

[ozzgin]

Omg bro yk whats been on my mind for do long?? A demon king trying to court a hero reader. Like the hero has already fought and defeated the king but somehow he comes back and he's desperately trying to get the hero to join him (in more ways than one). He wants the reader to be his spouse and leader of his army against the corrupt human race and the reader (now fallen from stardom due to the evil kings defeat) just wants him gone and to be left alone. Idk if this makes sense but I need to see SOMEONE write abt it before I lose my last marble.

-Doll

This is giving me Dragon Quest vibes, haha. Not a trope I'm too familiar with, but it sounds interesting nonetheless. I shall do my best! Sorry for the delay, I hope it's close to what you imagined. :)

Yandere! Demon King x Hero! Reader

As it goes with villains, they always find a way to return. This time, the Demon King has a different plan in mind. You were prepared for anything, from evil schemes to ancient conjured weapons...except for a wedding ring cordially placed before you. Do you say yes?

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, 🔥proposal (literally)

[Part 2]

You still remember everything so fondly. How you crawled out of that enormous crater, body battered and weak, as everyone watched in horror and held their breaths. Finally, you raised your fist victoriously. The Demon King had been, at last, defeated. The people cheered and cried and pulled you up under thundering waves of applause. Peace was no longer just a dream.

A sweet, innocent memory, even more so given its fleeting nature. The genuine smiles of gratitude quickly turned into crooked grins asking for favors. Before you knew it, you became some sort of political accessory to convince the masses. Posing for photos, shaking hands, being interviewed with bizarrely planned questions reeking of propaganda. You suddenly felt burdened, heavy, disappointed. This was not the kind of fame you envisioned for yourself.

Thus, you gradually vanished from the limelight, keeping your distance from everyone else and spending most days in solitude. Better than having to look into those unscrupulous, opportunistic eyes measuring up your worth. You had fulfilled your job and purpose.

This morning you're woken up by the sound of your belongings rattling in their shelves. The wooden frame of your bed is creaking, and you struggle to get up. An earthquake? A wave of nausea flushes over you. You recognize this feeling all too well, though you never expected to deal with it again. This is a disaster alright, yet the forces of nature have nothing to do with it.

You rush outside, swinging the door open and nearly tripping in your hurry to confirm your suspicions: the demonic creature is approaching your humble adobe with heavy steps, as the ground crumbles and shatters underneath. The Demon King himself, in flesh and blood. Although the blood splattering his armor is most likely not his. Same for the visceral remains threading his weapon. Regardless, your jaw tightens nervously, and you stand back, in a defensive pose. "You're a stubborn one", you say smugly, trying to maintain your composure. "Can't say I'm a fan of dying, that is correct." A ragged, monstrous voice erupts from the tall, armored figure.

"What brings you back?" You demand. The surroundings are too peaceful for him to have tampered with the city. Did he stop by to formally announce his destruction? "I have an offer that might interest you." The Dark Overlord has closed the distance between you, now looming above your much smaller body. You shiver. "I don't barter with Demons!" You conclude, turning around, prepared to leave. "Even when your precious people are on the line?" The horned beast warns with a grin. "If there's nothing better to do as a Ruler of Realms than killing petty humans..." You swiftly retort, going back into your house and slamming the door shut.

He stands for a moment, speechless. "Y-your Majesty? Should I take care of the humans, or (Y/N)?" Only now he notices his scaly butler, bowing to his side with claws resting over the weapon. The Demon King raises a hand, shooing the servant away. The annihilation of the human race can wait. There are more important matters to deal with presently. He'd expected your rejection, naturally, but not in such fashion. The indifference, the flat voice, the empty eyes devoid of emotion. Have the city dwellers tampered with his hero? He expected to see your fierce rage and in return he was met with a hollow shell.

Bright blue flames erupt from the openings of his armor, resulting in a menacing show of lights. He's known it for the longest time, of course. Humans are rotten to their very core. Vile, deceitful creatures that have slithered their way up, exuding undeserved arrogance. He's been trying to show you this very fact, yet you were blinded by naive faith. Your unwavering, honest heart that won him over has turned out to be your early demise. Not anymore. His vengefulness knows no bounds when it comes to traitors.

The sudden spike in temperature alerts you. Was it your rudeness that angered the Demon? You don't care anymore. Whatever happens to the city is out of your hands. And yet...you're buckling the straps of your old suit made for battle. Sword in hand, you gaze at your reflection. What could the Beast want? The fortified city no longer holds the value of its olden days. Just like you've left your hero days behind. Without much contemplation, you run out and head for the main gates. The path is paved with ash and rubble and your grip on the weapon tightens. Regret immediately wells up in your chest, ready to burst out. Is it too late? The entrance is engulfed in fire, charred corpses toppling against the ruins of the walls.

You reach the town hall - or rather, what remains of it - and face the Demon King. Has he gotten stronger since your last encounter? You hold your breath as the horned monster turns towards you. "I've tried to tell you, again and again. Time after time." He sighs, defeated. "Between the two of us, I'd say you were the stubborn one all along." His voice is softer than what you would've expected from someone that had just massacred an entire settlement. There's not a single scratch or sign of struggle. Was he merely holding back during your last fight? One thing is certain: you're his final obstacle. You raise your sword, determined. Hot sweat trickles down your face as the flames surround you. "Well, at least you've convinced yourself now, I hope. There's nothing left for you here." The Demon King lowers himself, extending a fist towards you. A spell? Secret weapon? Your leg muscles contract in anticipation.

His fingers open and stretch out, slowly. In his palm, a barely noticeable ring. Given the ridiculous size difference, you assume this is better fitting for a human. You stare at it in confusion, discerning the wedding vows carved in the noble metal. "What's the meaning of this?" You mutter, glancing at the Beast now resting on one knee before you. "What? Is it not your human custom?" He looks away for a moment, clicking his tongue. "That useless butler. He told me- Forget it! You are to return with me to my Kingdom. As my spouse."

Of all the things you've prepared yourself for...Your brows furrow and your mouth hangs open in shock.

What is your answer? The Demon King will not leave empty-handed.

[kujiba]

【Mew Mew Bitch】

୨୧ — ꒰ Cat!reader | they/them prounouns | Sagau | cultish behavior

A/n: silly little idea after writing gore

Mondstadt / Liyue / Inazuma / Sumeru / Fontaine / Natlan / Snezhnaya

— Okay but Cat reader who gets thrown into Sagau

I like to imagine Cat!Reader gets worshipped like cats back in ancient Egypt lmao, In mondstat you're basically just chilling around roofs and stuff which makes the character's panick internally telling you to come down since its dangerous

But you couldn't give af so you just jump down and land on your two feet casually making the subjects look dumbfounded. You're still restricted though from the roofs since you could get hurt (as if)

Venti is DEVASTED he is unable to come close to you because of his allergies, bro is just watching you from afar like some wife investigating on her cheating husband

He does frequently assist you through wind currents and help pick stuff up from heights you can't reach, hearing you be thankful for him is worth sneezing so much!

You and diona are literally bff's with each other! Diano absolutely looks up to you like an older sibling and you look back at her as your own.

Whenever theres some drunk weirdo coming towards her with bad intentions you always just use your claws to scratch the persons eyes or any part of their body.

You're pretty confused by Diona's plans to destroy the wine industry that diluc runs but tag along anyway since there are pretty few people who are like you

Speaking of diluc, you actually visit him sometimes... Well not him but his garden, it's your #1 spot to hang around aside from the rooftops of people's houses.

Diluc eventually made a hobby to just watch you from the balcony or window of his home while drinking some beverages. He's pretty amused to watch you jump and catch butterflies or insects flying around his property, he occasionally stops you from eating them too. Much to your dissapointment

Klee is also one of your playmates, both of you adore going fish blasting or catching some interesting stuff from the forests to keep as little treasures or trinkets.

The only bad part is when you guys get caught by Jean and get put into temporary solitary confinement, but you guys past the time with drawing stuff you had capture or saw and make more plans to go adventure! Maybe even invite diona next time.

Two more people is Aether and paimon! You were pretty much just really hungry and accidentally began to nibble on paimons arm making her almost pass out thinking she was going to get eaten by you

You did eventually made up to them by cooking the two a meal which paimon happily accepted. Aether likes it whenever you're around, not just because you're basically the creator but also since you were great company to them!

While assisting them in a adventure you were able to track down multiple targets in a span of minutes just by your animal senses which impressed Aether because he won't have to go through so much trouble in bounties anymore

Overall, Cat reader best au because meow meow

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: That one episode of teen titans where they all dress up as Robin + Tim being a gremlin about his legacy + Danny look alike/twin AU.

So there is that episode of Teen Titans where Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven all dress as Robin (Dick) while he's out and it's admitted that the outfit makes them feel cool. Imagine a young Tim hearing that story mentioned in passing by Dick while trying to manage what becomes Young Just-us. And then when Damain becomes Robin?? Gremlin mode activated.

Tim hosts regular 'Robin' Parties, where the idea is that you come in Robin colors, get a mask at the door and everyone gets to basically hang out in civilian clothes without the identity crises for those just getting started. "age appropriate" drinks, games, and good music are all staples. The parties become more frequent once Damian becomes Robin and he pointedly doesn't attend Tim's parties which... Neither of them are really happy about. Family is complicated, but finally, after a few years of cooling off, it's decided that Robin will actually host this years Robin party.

Meaning Tim shows up in casual clothes (MIT sweatshirt) and a mask, and Damian is actually dressed as Robin when the party is starting to get into the swing of things. The point of it is to make sure all the young heroes get to come and start to befriend each other, so there are a few people who show up and have to actually say that they're *insert alias* and this is met with basically "Dope, nice to meet you Robin" etc.

Insert Danny Twin AU (Or just look-alike fuckery) (for either brother but my brain is on Tim Twin au mode).

Danny decides to show up as his human self, grabs a mask at the door before coming in, and is slowly integrating himself into a conversation when someone grabs his arm- "Hey Red your brother is fighting with a newbie about meat products again-"

And Danny doesn't have a brother but my god has he heard this fight too many times with Sam and Tucker- He's going in and he's defusing this situation because he cannot handle the thought of this argument taking over his new friend group. He deals with it enough, okay?

Robin (like, the real one) looks at him curiously while Danny is talking down the other hero Robin (insert here), and the whole room notices when Robin doesn't take the opportunity to dismiss or belittle his older brother (Lmao because its danny). Damian cannot place his unease about Drake (again, Danny, who is not hiding his identity beyond a mask), and simply decides that this isn't worth the effort.

The party moves on but now instead of everyone calling themselves Robin, Danny is distinctly being called Red. It confuses him a bit, he didn't even know Red Robin was going to be at this party (he hasn't met the guy and doesn't know the lore), but he rolls with it because he's made fast friends with Robin (Bart), Robin (Cassie) and Robin (JON). The kid was full little bro energy and it made Danny laugh, he was so surprised when the real Robin joined them and fell into easy conversation with Robin (Jon).

Danny is playing games with a few others when someone goes to grab a broom to clean up- Turns out Red Robin and his boyfriend Kon had been making out in the closet for most of the party- and the whole room looks at Danny like he's tried to trick them. Tim is at first uneasy that so many people mistook him, but once he's in front of his dupe, puzzle pieces start to move around in his head.

"And who are you again, Robin?" Tim asks carefully, though he suspects he has his answer.

"Uh, Phantom, but you know, a lot of people were calling me Red tonight and I didn't get why until just now." Danny laughs nervously.

"Yeah I bet- Find me monday and we can see about a geneology test."

"That leaves us the whole weekend, to do what exactly? Fuck with people by pulling a parent trap style swap?"

"Nature vs. nuture and all but I don't know how you could be anything but my brother with a question like that." Tim grins and they get to scheming.

[tgcg]

argument

its a big one

TG: alright this is probably a bust

TG: more i think about it how the fuck do you even make a marinara

TG: can i even alchemise cheese or do i gotta like alchemise the milk and curdle it myself

TG: how do you even curdle

====================

TG: make a goddamn

TG: curgler

TG: whatever

TG: internet archive gonna pull through

====================

CG: ALRIGHT DAVE

TG: shit

====================

CG: YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK OFF. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IN BULGEMUNCHING VIRULENT FUCK YOU GET THE IDEA YOU HAVE ANY RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD THINK ABOUT MY OWN GODDAMN PLANET. SORRY TO HAVE TO DEAL A BLOW TO YOUR IMPOSSIBLY INFLATED FUCKING EGO, BUT HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT YOUR SIDE-EYE SLACKJAW HOPELESS DEADPAN BULLSHIT BEHAVIOUR IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY FUCKING CONTEMPTIBLE AND DOESN'T PUT YOU ABOVE OTHER PEOPLE? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT?

CG: OR DID YOU JUST ASSUME FROM THE MOMENT YOU FOUND OUT I'M A REVOLTING FUCKING MUTANT LOWBLOOD FREAK THAT I'M SUDDENLY NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE THE IDEA OF MY LIFE MEANING SOMETHING AT SOME POINT?

TG: okay you are wildly misquoting me where the fuck did that come from

TG: also you scared the hell out of me

TG: im just trying to science some pizza here

====================

CG: OKAY THEN, DAVE! EXPLAIN TO ME AS WELL AS YOUR AMBLING ONE-NOTE SMOOTH EXCUSE FOR A 'THOUGHT'SPONGE CAN

CG: IN SOMEWHAT COHERENT TERMS, ALTHOUGH I KNOW THAT'S A TALL ORDER:

CG: HOW YOU SAYING MY ADOLESCENT DREAMS OF BECOMING A THRESHECUTIONER ARE "FUCKED UP AND IRONIC IN A NASTY ASS WAY" DOESN'T QUALIFY AS UNDERHANDEDLY KICKING ME IN THE MANDIBLE PRONGS!

CG: YOUR AUDIENCE AWAITS YOU WITH BATED BREATH! TAKE IT AWAY, M.C. BRAIN HEMORRHAGE.

====================

TG: okay i dont

TG: know how you got a hold of that phrasing because i said that shit in confidence

TG: get out of my business bro

CG: NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE: THIS METEOR IS A PHYSICAL, LITERAL LOCATION WE'RE BOTH IN. IT'S NOT A FUCKING PRIVATE CHATROOM. THIS MIGHT BLOW YOUR PITIFUL MIND BUT PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY HEAR OTHER PEOPLE TALK WHEN THEY HAVE TO SHARE A SPACE! BRO!

TG: ugh

====================

CG: AND IT'S VERY INTERESTING YOU ACCUSE ME OF MISQUOTING YOU, AND THEN SUDDENLY TURN AND SPOUT FROM THAT SHITTY DRONING GROANSHAFT OF YOURS THAT I'M INVADING YOUR PRIVACY WHEN I DIRECTLY QUOTE YOUR SMARMY LITTLE SHAMEGLOBES!

CG: WOW! TURNS OUT KARKAT IS ACTUALLY BEING GENUINELY FUCKING UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING — WHO KNEW, RIGHT? WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE GENUINE COMPLAINTS TO LEVEL AGAINST THE PEOPLE WHO GO SPOUTING HOOFBEASTSHIT ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK TO THEIR ECTOSIBLINGS?

TG: no dude can you shut up a second

CG: I MOST CERTAINLY FUCKING WILL, THANKS FOR THE OFFER! I'M NEVER TELLING YOU A GODDAMN THING AGAIN, SO I HOPE YOU MANAGE TO GAIN SOME WRINKLES TO THAT VESTIGIAL FLAWLESS ORB FLOATING AROUND IN YOUR CAVERNOUS NUGBONE FROM ALL THIS. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH ALL THE EFFORT ON YOUR END.

TG: listen!!!!

====================

CG: MHM! MY AURICULAR CHAMBERS ARE WIDE OPEN!

TG: jegus

TG: okay

TG: i have no defense for my literal phrasing but how expeditiously did you shadowstep the fuck away after i said that

TG: because that is some shrek tier "princess and ugly dont go together" level misrepresentation of my sweet self

TG: like if this wasnt obviously a heated platonic argument we were having i would probably be digging what the reference even if it was a shitty trope

====================

TG: i just

TG: have been thinking about some things and none of those things have got an iota of a thing to do with you or your blood

TG: thing

TG: man

TG: i dont know why you think id be so pressed about your vein juice its like

TG: a normal ass color for a normal ass guy

TG: and obviously it was a major fucking deal from how you talk about it but it doesnt need to be anymore

====================

TG: the thing is i just dont like have the same attitude as you about fighting and stuff and thats not something i am getting into right now but i am gonna make it expressly clear

TG: that its just kind of fucked up for me to sit my ass down and listen to someone spew gold and medals and confetti colored shit going googoo all over tall and loathsome ass bloodletters he never knew

TG: and have him tell me he wants to be the best guy at combat since samurai fuckin jack

TG: and thats my capital B business believe me the emphasis is there

====================

CG: SO IS THIS ABOUT ME WANTING TO BE PART OF SOMETHING YOU DON'T AGREE WITH? BECAUSE THRESHECUTIONERS DON'T EVEN FUCKING EXIST ANYMORE. I LITERALLY COULD NOT DO THIS IF I TRIED AT THIS POINT, SO YOU CAN UNKNOT YOUR “KNIGHTY WHITIES” ABOUT IT.

TG: being anti-military is not my point but damn if it isnt a thing thats probably true anyways so good job sleuthing that out

CG: WHAT IS YOUR POINT, DAVE.

TG: bluh

TG: i just said i dont wanna talk about it man

====================

CG: OKAY,

====================

CG: OKAY.

CG: I MEAN. IT FEELS KIND OF IMPORTANT TO THE CONTEXT OF THIS WHOLE UNAMBIGUOUSLY PLATONIC ARGUMENT WE'VE BEEN HAVING

CG: WHICH I'M RELIEVED WE AGREE ON BY THE WAY

CG: BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO WRING IT OUT OF YOU. IT'S FINE.

====================

CG: …IF YOU DECIDE AT SOME POINT THAT YOU WANT TO TELL ME THOUGH, MY RUMBLE VESSELS ARE STILL OPEN.

TG: i swear youre making those up on the spot at this point

CG: I'M KEEPING MY LANGUAGE'S ART ALIVE, DAVE. IT'S BASIC DECENCY TO THE PLANET THAT RAISED ME.

TG: heh

====================

TG: yknow we got these things called anatomical snuffboxes

TG: its got that right amount of vague nose wrinklage to it that i feel like youd be right at home saying that

TG: snug as a grub even

CG: WHAT PART IS THAT???

TG: its that little weird bone bit that sticks out on the back of your palm when you flex your thumb right

====================

TG: look

CG: HUH. LOOKING AT THAT IS KIND OF WIGGING ME OUT.

TG: yeah its kinda gross rose told me about it

TG: but anyways

====================

TG: are we cool

CG: I MEAN… I GUESS SO. YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY INSULTING ME, RIGHT?

TG: hell no dude never

CG: OKAY. I COMPLETELY RESCIND THE MYRIAD OF WAYS I JUST INSULTED YOU. AND I'M SORRY.

TG: nah i know its just fluff at this point

====================

CG: I STILL DON'T APPRECIATE YOU TELLING ROSE THINGS I SAY TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE. THAT WAS BETWEEN YOU, ME, AND MY NOW NON-EXISTENT HOME PLANET ROTTING AWAY TO A CRATERED GRAY HUSK IN ANOTHER DEAD UNIVERSE.

TG: i swear that was like the only thing its just that she gets it and i cant keep my mouth from going on about the gettable stuff

TG: they call me the babbling brook the way my flows so audible

TG: i wont do it again

CG: NO,

====================

CG: I GET IT HONESTLY.

CG: I'M BASICALLY THE NUMBER ONE PROPRIETOR OF AIRED GRIEVANCES IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE AND THEN SOME, AND I'D ALSO BECOME ITS BIGGEST HYPOCRITE IF I HELD IT AGAINST YOU.

TG: thanks

TG: but i mean

TG: at the gigantic risk of sounding uh

====================

TG: ………..

CG: ?

====================

TG: well

TG: i kinda just think youre better at being a guy to chill out and watch movies with than a guy to tangle fists with

TG: and i dont think theres anything wrong with being that

TG: i think its cool

====================

CG: …THAT'S AN ALARMINGLY BRAZEN OBSERVATION TO MAKE OF SOMEONE YOU'VE KNOWN FOR ABOUT THE SPAN OF SEVEN SEASONAL EQUINOXES, DAVE.

TG: i dont know what that means but it sure is probably

CG: AM I ALLOWED TO ASK WHAT EVEN GIVES YOU THAT IMPRESSION????

TG: i just got that inkling about you man

====================

TG: and you can do whatever you want with that info

TG: throw it in the load gaper or whatever if you want i dont really care

TG: give it a swirly and slam it in a locker call it a nerd break its glasses whatever

TG: but beyond this whole lord english thing weve got going on i am pretty content to never aggress my fellow man slash alien slash monster again if i can help it

TG: i think thats pretty fair given what thats been like so far

====================

TG: and yknow its cool to have some company when im waxing emotional over the narrative depth of click starring adam sandler which we are watching next by the way

CG: UGH, FIIIIIIIIINE. JUST TO MAKE UP FOR CALLING YOUR THINKPAN SMOOTH AND SUPERFLUOUS.

====================

TG: score

TG: we should argue all the time

CG: SNRK

[noaestheticacademic]

On the Identity of "Chat"

Like all the linguistics folks on Tumblr, I've been sent the "chat is a fourth person pronoun" post by a bunch of well-meaning people and and I've been thinking waaay too much about it. @hbmmaster made a wonderful post explaining exactly why "chat" ISN'T a fourth person pronoun, and after reading it I wanted to go a little deeper on what it might actually be doing linguistically, because it is a really interesting phenomenon. Here's a little proposal on what might be going on, with the caveat that it's not backed up by a sociolinguistic survey (which would be fun but more than I could throw together this morning).

On Pronouns

Studying linguistics has been really beneficial for me because understanding that language is constantly changing helped me to become comfortable with using they/them pronouns for myself. I've since done a decent amount of work with pronouns, and here are some basic ideas.

A basic substitution test shows that "chat" is not syntactically a pronoun: it can't be replaced with a pronoun in a sentence.

"Chat, what do we think about that?"

"He*, what do we think about that?" (* = ungrammatical, a native speaker of English would think it sounds wrong)

Linguists identify pronouns as bundles of features identifying the speaker, addressee, and/or someone outside the current discourse. So, a first person pronoun refers to the speaker, a second person pronoun refers to the addressee, and a third person pronoun refers to someone who is neither the speaker nor the addressee (but who is still known to the speaker and addressee). This configuration doesn't leave a lot of room for a "fourth" person. But the intuition people have that "chat" refers to something external to the discourse is worth exploring.

Hypothesis 1: Chat is a fourth-person pronoun.

We've knocked this one right out.

Hypothesis 2: Chat is an address term.

So what's an address term? These are words like "dude, bro, girl, sir" that we use to talk to people. In the original context where "chat" appears - streamers addressing their viewers - it is absolutely an address term. We can easily replace "chat" with any of these address terms in the example sentence above. It's clear that the speaker is referring to a specific group (viewers) who are observing and commenting on (but not fully participating in) the discourse of the stream. The distinction between OBSERVATION and PARTICIPATION is a secret tool that will come in handy later.

But when a student in a classroom says "wow chat, I hate this," is that student referring to their peers as a chat? In other words, is the student expecting any sort of participation or observation by the other students of their utterance? Could "chat" be replaced with "guys" in this instance and retain its nuance? My intuition as a zillenial (which could be way off, please drop your intuitions in the comments) is that the relationship between a streamer and chat is not exactly what the speaker in this case expects out of their peers. Which brings me to...

Hypothesis 3: chat is a stylistic index.

What's an index in linguistics? To put it very simply, it's anything that has acquired a social meaning based on the context in which it's said. In its original streaming context, it's an address term. But it can be used in contexts where there is not a chat, or even any group of people that could be abstracted into being a chat. Instead, people use this linguistic structure to explicitly mimic the style which streamers use.

And that much seems obvious, right? Of course people are mimicking streamers. It doesn't take a graduate degree to figure that out. What's interesting to me is why people choose to employ streaming language in certain scenarios. How is it different from the same sentence, minus the streamer style?

This all comes down to the indexicality, or social meaning, of streamer speak. This is where I ask you all to take over: what sorts of attitudes and qualities do you associate with that kind of person and that kind of speech? I think it has to do with (here it comes!) the PARTICIPANT/OBSERVER distinction. By framing speech as having observers, a speaker takes on the persona of someone who is observed - a self-styled celebrity. To use "chat" is to position oneself as a celebrity, and in some cases even to mock the notion of such a position. We can see a logical path from how streamers use "chat" as an address term to how it is co-opted to reference streamer culture and that celebrity/observer relationship in non-streaming mediated discourse. If we think about it that way, then it's easy to see why the "fourth person pronoun" post is so appealing. It highlights a discourse relationship that is being invoked wherein "chat" is not a group but a style.

[ssprayberrythings]

famous siblings | CL16

charles leclerc x female horan!reader, niall horan x sister!reader 

you’re the little sister of 1D member niall horan and when he gets invited to an f1 grand prix, he decides to take his girlfriend amelia and you, his sister where you meet the wonderful and most charming ferrari driver who ends up capturing your heart. 

warnings: im pretty sure none worth mentioning

note: there will be a second part to this but still feel free to give feedback and express your thoughts!!!

masterlist | taglist

-

July 9th, 2023 

y/nhoran_ posted on their story  

caption: having a famous big bro has its perks 😎 @niallhoran @lewishamilton

*replies disabled* 

niallhoran posted on instagram   

y/nhoran_, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, johnlegend, kellyclarkson & others liked 

Had a great time at Silverstone this past weekend. Thanks Mercedes for hosting us! 🖤 

tagged: mercedesamgf1 

view all comments 

niallfan: omg not niall being at an f1 race 

f1fan: the 1d x f1 girlies are not doing well after this 

niallerforlife: give me a moment to freak out brb 

fan23: did anyone see y/n’s story? they met lewis 

fan12: i love that amelia and y/n both got to go with him 

mercedesamgf1: it was a pleasure having you and your loved ones in the paddock 🖤

╰ liked by niallhoran 

y/nhoran_ posted on instagram    

niallhoran, ameliawoolleyx, mercedesamgf1, niallfan, charles_leclerc, gemmastyles & others liked 

Had a great weekend with great people 🫶 (except you Nialler🙄) 

tagged: niallhoran, ameliawoolleyx, mercedesamgf1 

view all comments 

ameliawoolleyx: Love you sis 😘

╰ y/nhoran_: ❤️

fan1: the sisterly love between y/n and amelia i love 

niallhoran: I’m the only reason you got to come but okay..🙄

╰ y/nhoran_: Okay but who got a second invite..? Thats what I thought😎

╰ fan23: wait what 👀

horan_niall: the horan siblings back at it again with their iconic bickering 

f1fan: anyone else see charles in the likes ?? and he follows all 3 of them ?? but they got invited by mercedes ?? confused 

╰ fan22: ooooh ok charles we see you.. 

-

July 20th, 2023

y/nhoran_ posted on their story  

caption: another day, another plane selfie 😎

*replies disabled* 

July 24th, 2023

y/nhoran_ posted on instagram  

ameliawoolleyx, gemmastyles, niallhoran, kellyclarkson, charles_leclerc & others liked 

A weekend in Paris. Proud of what you’re achieving big bro 🫂

tagged: niallhoran

view all comments 

niallhoran: Happy you could be here sis! 

╰ liked by y/nhoran_

niallerfan: I love these two sm 

f1fan21: f1 fans; are we still seeing charles in the likes 

╰ f1fan2: yes we still see him..👀

niallfan: favourite siblings next to gemma and harry !!!

gemmastyles: missing you girly 💛

╰ y/nhoran_: not as much as im missing you 🥹

╰ horanfan: their friendship even after all these years 

-

dm between charles and y/n 

charles_leclerc: you know whats close to paris? 

charles_leclerc: monaco..😏

y/nhoran_: oh really? and why exactly would i go to monaco? 😏

charles_leclerc: i’m sure i could come up with a few reasons, one of them being me 

y/nhoran_: ferrari boy are you asking me on a date to monaco? 

charles_leclerc: if you’ll say yes, then yes i am. 

y/nhoran_: i’m sure i could see what i could do about getting to monaco..

y/nhoran_: wait aren’t you racing? 

charles_leclerc: we have one more race and then we great a break 😊

y/nhoran_: okay well how about you text me when you’re back in monaco and we’ll arrange this date 😊

y/nhoran_: heres my number: xxx-xxx-xx11 

╰ liked by charles_leclerc 

y/nhoran_: oh and good luck at the next race! 🙃

charles_leclerc: thanks 😊

╰ liked by y/nhoran_ 

-

July 30th, 2023 

charles_leclerc posted on instagram    

pierregasly, scurderiaferrari, f1, oscarpiastri, y/nhoran_ & others liked 

What a great race, happy to be back on the podium! 🏆 

Now its time to recharge and see you in a few weeks. ❤️

tagged: scurderiaferrari 

view all comments 

f1fan: good job charles !!!! 

charlesleclerclover_: SO PROUD 

f1fan23: GOOD JOB !!! 

scuderiaferrari: ❤️

╰ liked by charles_leclerc 

niallfan12: anyone notice y/n now in his likes ??? 

╰ f1fan21: hmmm..somethings cooking 

╰ niallfan15: f1 fans x 1D fandom…look out 

August 3rd, 2023 

y/nhoran_ posted on their story  

caption: Travel fit! ✈️❤️

╰ charles_leclerc: Cant wait to see you😊

╰ niallhoran: safe travels ✌🏻

You boarded the plane to Monaco, being sure to text Niall your plane information and to text Charles letting you know you were on the plane. Shortly after the flight attendant instructed everyone to turn off their phones. 

Before you turned off yours, you caught Charles’ text back, 

Ferrari Boy🏎️ : See you soon☺️

You smiled at it before turning your phone off. You still couldn’t believe you and Charles were actually going on a date. Obviously when you first back at Silverstone, there was light flirting but you just had one of those personalities which you seemed to have in common with the driver.

He asked for your instagram and you happily gave it to him, following him back and then you parted ways. He once and awhile popped up in your likes but you didn’t think anything of it until you found out that he had also followed your brother and Amelia back when he followed you and then when he finally slid in your DMs, you knew this went beyond mindless flirting. 

You smiled at the thought of him and possibly something coming from this. With that you placed your headphones on your ears and decided to try and get some sleep before you landed and you’d be immersed into the busy life that was Monaco. 

-

August 4th, 2023 

y/nhoran_ posted on instagram 

niallhoran, gemmastyles, madelyncline, charles_leclerc & others liked 

🖤❤️

view all comments 

gemmastyles: I expect details in my dm’s tomorrow morning, no later 

╰ y/nhoran_: Yes ma’am 🫡

╰ gemmastyles: 😘

niallfan22: Y/N YOU LOOK STUNNING (as always!) 

niallfan12: anyone wondering why she’s all dressed up??? could it be for a date??

╰ f1fan21: WITH OUR BELOVED FERRARI BOY, POSSIBLY?

╰ niallfan13: y’all are so delulu, i love it 

ameliawoolleyx: Gorgeous girl ❤️

╰ liked by y/nhoran_ 

August 5th, 2023

f1updates_ posted on instagram  

f1fan, charlesleclercfan_, f1fan23, niallfan12 & others liked 

new blurry photo of charles spotted out in monaco last night with a new girl🧐

who could she be? possibly a new wag or is it too early for that status? 

view all comments 

f1fan26: how do we know thats charles??

╰ f1updates_: the source that sent it in confirmed that was his car near them 

f1fan22: hmmmm…

f1fan21: i think i know who this is…😏

╰ niallfan12: miss y/n horan you were spotted…😏

f1fan16: the f1 fans are delulu, no way thats y/n horan 

f1fan4: i want it to be y/n horan cause she’s cool and charles’ type but it probably isn’t her 

niallfan18: if it is y/n we should definitely give them their privacy, she’s never had any dating rumours surrounding her before 

╰ niallfan17: agreed !!! 

╰ f1fan91: and for charles too..they both deserve their privacy 

╰ liked by niallfan18 

-

August 5th, 2023

y/nhoran_ posted a series of stories on instagram  

caption: about last night..😜🥰 

caption: out exploring 🌞  

caption: im moving here and buying my own yacht 🛥️

*replies on all stories disabled* 

August 6th, 2023 

charles_leclerc posted on their story  

caption: I think she likes my car more than me..

*replies disabled* 

-

August 7th, 2023 

y/nhoran_ posted on instagram  

charles_leclerc, niallhoran, gemmastyles, f1fan22, niallfan15 & others liked 

I love the art in Monaco..🥹

view all comments 

f1fan: SO SHE IS WITH CHARLES 

niallfan22: Y/N YOURE GIVING US BREADCRUMBS 

charles_leclerc: anything else you love in monaco? ;) 

╰ y/nhoran_ : I can name a few other things..

╰ niallfan12: ARE THEY FLIRTING ON INSTAGRAM 

f1fan12: ARE WE IN THE SOFT LAUNCH ERA OR HARD LAUNCH ERA? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW 

niallfan16: can anyone check in with niall and how he feels about all of this 

-

texts between niall and y/n

niall: so hows monaco? anything i should know? 

y/n: monaco’s great 

niall: you didn’t answer my other question 

y/n: how are you? how are the festivals? 

niall: stop avoiding the question

y/n: okay fine what do you want to know 

niall: whats going on with you and charles ? 

y/n: at the moment? we’re on his boat 

niall: i didnt mean right in this moment🙄

niall: i mean overall 

y/n: i dont know what we are

y/n: we’re just taking it easy 

y/n: he invited me to monza which is a big deal to him and the f1 community in general 

niall: you should go 

y/n: wait youre supporting that?

niall: yeah, if its a big deal for him and he invited you then you should go

y/n: wow, im just surprised youre being so chill 

niall: dont push it 

niall: you’re still my little sister but i trust you 

niall: tell him if he does anything though..i wont be so chill 

y/n: understood overprotective brother niall 🫡

y/n: okay im getting back to my date 

niall: have fun 

y/n: oh we will..

niall: NOPE NOPE NOPE LALALALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU 

y/n: youre such a child for a grown man..😒

-

August 8th, 2023 

f1updates_ posted on instagram  

f1fan12, f1fan23, niallfan12, niallfan16, f1wags & others liked 

new photos of charles and a girl that people are believing to be y/n horan, sister to one direction member, niall horan. it seems as if y/n has been in monaco for some time visiting and judging by their socials, they’ve been spending a lot of time with eachother. what does this mean for them? how long has this been going on? so many questions.. 

view all comments 

f1fan12: OH MY 

f1fan7: THIS HAS TO BE Y/N 

niallfan16: UGH THEYRE ACTUALLY CUTE TOGETHER IF IT IS Y/N

niallfan18: i so badly just want a hard launch post 

f1fan27: I NEED A CHARLES AND NIALL INTERACTION 

╰ niallfan4: YOU AND ME BOTH 

August 8th, 2023

f1wags posted on instagram     

f1fan23, f1fan12, f1fan11, niallfan12, niallfan15, niallfan44 & others liked 

Possible New WAG Update: 

Lately theres been photos taken of Charles Leclerc and Y/N Horan that shows the two are definitely more than just friends. Neither have yet to confirm or deny the dating rumours starting to surface but if they are dating, we thought we’d make a post for Y/N for the fans that don’t know who she is already incase she is our newest WAG. 

Y/N Horan, younger sister to One Direction member, Niall Horan. Y/N is 24 years old. She attended the University of Galway for a Bachelor of Arts Undergrad, specifically in Digital Arts and Technology. Since graduating, she sometimes models and will do ads for high end brands. Judging from her social media, she enjoys traveling, attending her brothers concerts and spending time with her close circle of friends which include other 1D member, Harry Styles’ sister, Gemma Styles. From what we gathered she primarily resides in London but does frequently go home to Ireland to visit family. 

In regards to her and Charles, we don’t have much, other than the few photos taken of them recently. We're guessing they met when Y/N joined Niall in attending the Silverstone Grand Prix back in July which means the two technically have known each other for about a month. We’re not sure how much of that time have been as friends or more than friends. For now thats all we got but if we find out anymore we’ll be sure to keep the account updated. 

*comments have been disabled* 

-

August 9th, 2023 

y/nhoran_ posted on their story  

caption: ❤️

*replies have been disabled* 

It was time for you to get back to London, you had a photoshoot with Ralph Lauren coming up and Charles was planning on spending time with family before he had to get back to racing. 

The last few days had been amazing. You got to see so much and really got to know Charles. You could feel yourself falling for him, he made it so easy but you didn’t want to rush anything so you decided not to bring it up, wanting to enjoy your time together before you left. 

Currently the two of you were cuddled up in his bed, he had insisted you stay with him instead of getting a hotel which you ended up really enjoying. He was playing with your hair while you had your head on his chest 

“I had a really great time here” you told him lifting your head up and looking at him, as he stopped playing with your hair with your movement 

“I’m really glad you came and let me show you around” he smiled, you could see it in his eyes, he was being genuine. 

“Next time you’re free you need to let me show you around Ireland to return the favour” you suggested. He had shown you his home, you wanted to show him yours. 

“I’d love that. I’ve never been to Ireland before” he told you, his smile never leaving his face

“We should probably go to sleep, so I actually wake up in the morning for my flight” you suggested even though you would’ve rather stayed up and talked with Charles 

“I know” he agreed, the sadness lingering in his words, just like you he would’ve preferred to stay up and chat all night. 

The two of you, got situated in bed, you enjoyed getting to spoon, you’d switch between who was the big spoon and who was the little, which at first surprised you because you would’ve thought Charles always liked being the bigger spoon but there were times when he just wanted to be held which of course just added to why he made falling for him an easy task. 

Tonight you were the little spoon which you both enjoyed. You laid on your side, your back against Charles’ chest while his arm held you against him and his other arm stayed free so he could play with your hair. 

You fell asleep before he did and he just laid there watching you sleep peacefully. He hadn’t felt this comfortable around someone in awhile and he didn��t ever want to be apart from you. 

He was falling for you and unknowingly to him you were falling just as hard. This brought forth one question and that was; who was going to take the first step and be the one to tell the other about their blossoming feelings? 

-

taglist: @namgification @itsyagirlmeee

TO BE CONTINUED !!!

im so happy with how this turned out! please feel free to leave comments and thoughts! if you want to be added to my taglist there's a link on my account!! anyways enjoy 😋

[bigwishes]

Tummy Trouble

Connor flexed at himself in the mirror, he'd been lifting for years but still was no where near as big as he dreamed to be. He looked at some of his buddies in the gym that had gotten bigger than him taking roids but Connor didn't want any of that crap, he wanted to get as big as he could naturally, without risking his health.

Still he couldn't help but wish he was so much bigger.

Connor was on his way out of the gym when someone stopped him.

"Hey bro," the man grabbed Connor by the arm

Connor turned to see a unbelievable tall man who was insanely muscular. The straps to his tank top where barely visable between his shoulders and traps, the length of his tank top wasn't quite long enough to cover up his entire torso and his gym shorts looked more like spandex underwear. Connor was both turned on by the sheer size of the guy and turned off, he was clearly a roid head.

"eer, hey man"

"hey bro you look real fit, are you training to get bigger?"

"yeah man, as big as I NATURALLY can" Connor made sure to pretty much shout naturally at the guy, he'd had too many roid heads try and sell him gear in the locker room before but never had one brave enough to try it out the front of the gym

"aw yeah man, nice nice, look I got a sample for you"

"sorry man, Im not into enhancements or roids or whatever"

"you got me all wrong bro, no roids, its free gym gear we are giving out some clothing samples and asking for feedback for payment"

Connor's face turned bright red with embarrassment, now he seemed like some entitled asshole who thought he was too good to even talk to anyone not natural.

"bro I'm so sorry, I just, normally when a guy like you asks me if I want a sample in the gym" Connor began to stumble over his words trying to back peddle realising he basically just called this guy a roidhead without proof

"a guy like me?"

"yeah, eerrrrr, ya know big and..."

The giant man began to laugh and slapped Connor on the back "I'm just fucking with you mate"

Connor let out a sigh of relief

"but hey mate, so you're all about the natural look yeah? but you also wanna be a massive tank?"

"yeah man, look I know I might be dreaming but I wanna be fucking huge, like you, I just don't wanna take any enhancements"

"I think I got something for you mate, here"

The giant handed Connor a small carboard box with the words "Big and Bulky" written in bold black letters and a gift card for $100 Food delivery service stapled to the top.

"Free of charge mate, put em on when you get home and I'm sure you'll be feelin like a freak in no time" The giant man winked.

Connor took the gift and continued to thank him multiple times trying to make up for the fool he'd made of himself just moments before. He got in his car and sank in his chair. He opened the box seeing a pair of briefs, he couldn't exactly try them on in his car, he thought it'd be better to just come back with some feedback tomorrow.

----------------

Connor stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, he began his normal flexing routine in his mirror but thoughts about being staying lean and small invaded his mind fairly quickly. He contemplated if staying natural was worth it if it meant he'll never get his dream body. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind Connor slipped on the briefs he was gifted earlier and......they felt like normal briefs. He couldn't work out how these were made special for athletes but at least he got a food gift card out of it.

Connor picked up his phone going to take a photo whilst he looked good in the light when suddenly a golden light began to shine off the waist band of the briefs. It was like sunlight was coming out of the fabric itself. He saw the letters B....I.....G slowly appear and he watched in the mirror as his body began to swell. His shoulders broadened, chest expanded with every breath, his arms began to swell up and soon his pecs and arms were competing for space. His thighs became tree trunks and he had to readjust his package so it didn't get crushed between them, even his feet began to grow outwards. Soon it all slowed down and all Connor could do was stare at himself in amazement.

Somehow, by literally magic he had swollen up into the size of his dreams. he couldn't help but start flexing and even licking his own bicep. A small noise, like a shop bell interrupted his self worship as a tiny slip of paper was ejected from the top of the box. Connor picked it up...

"Thank you for choosing Djinn.co transformative clothing, the transformative clothes you have chosen will permanently change your body, no need to workout to stay in shape never loose muscle keep the body of your dreams... NOTE: Your attendant for the day was Big Guy Bob he has added extra command words to your transformative clothing, we here at Djinn.co only print two command words on our clothing however your interaction with Bob had him convinced you deserved more"

Connor was amazed, surely this was a dream, there was no way he had stumbled into a pair of magic transforming clothes. As Connor was caught up in this thoughts light began to shine out of the other side of the waist band, the Connor felt his body start to get bigger. A part of him thought he should take the underwear off but he wanted to get bigger, he wanted to be a giant like the guy he met today. Another light began to shine from begin but Connor couldn't see. He flexxed in the mirror looking at the letters B...U....L....K....Y appear on the waist band. He flexed as hard as he could expecting to see his muscles to double in size again.

Connor's muscles became slightly large but nothing really changed. He dropped his arms to his side hearing his stomach make a slight gargling noise.

"awww, is that it, nothing even hap-"

*FWOOOMP

Connor almost fell forward as suddenly his six pack expanded into a loose gut. Hair quickly coated his entire body and he started sweating worse than he normally would at the gym.

"WHA...M...MY ABS...MY SIX PACK WHAT THE FUCK"

Connor rubbed his new tummy on the verge of tears.

"oh god...what the fuck do I do with this thing"

His stomach let out a loud hungry growl as if almost to respond to him.

He picked up his phone and used the gift card to order some food, as if on auto pilot he spent the entire $100 instantly and even dropped another $100 from his own bank account on food.

Connor just stood in the mirror staring at his new belly disgusted. He had all the muscle he had dreamed of but felt his gut, pecs and ass wobble as he flexed. Soon the doorbell rang and Connor went to go grab his bags of food.

Bringing the bags in from inside and placing them on his kitchen bench his hands instantly dove in grabbed a handful of fries out the box without even taking the box from the bag, without realising he had stuff half the box of fries in his mouth, salt fell from his lips into his new forest of chest hair and he simply wiped his salt covered hand on his brief whilst opening a bottle of off the shelf protein shake. He began chugging it down and could feel little bits slips from his lips and into his new beard. Connor picked up all the bags and moved to his couch.

Connor blinked awake as if from a trance, all around him were empty plasic bottles from protein shakes and soft drinks, multiple empty fry boxes littered the look around him and he noticed his chest hair was tangled with salt, some burger lettuce and dried protein shake, his briefs were also covered in stain from where he had wiped his hands. He slid his briefs off noticing 3 words painted on the ass he didn't notice appear. "SWEATY, HAIRY, SLOB". Connor rubbed his new gut and tossed the briefs to the side.

His stomach began to gurgle and it sounded like a water cooler. He watched as his loose gut started to become firm.

"oh...god...whats happeneing now"

each time Connor inhaled his stomach felt worse

"I....god what the fuck"

A small ding noise interrupted Conners panting and panicing as another small slip of paper magically was printed out of the top of a closed chip box. Conner leant forward and read it.

"Hey man, Big Guy Bob here, today you expressed wanting to become a natural tank, so I made sure you got a pair to turn you into an absolute unit but I know you were worried about people thinking you might be on roids, just look at today you were so quick to think I was on them, so I added some key words to not only turn you into a huge tank but to turn you into a huge slob, enjoy the size bro"

Connor groaned as he tossed the note to the ground.

"FUUUUUUUCKKK IM SO.......BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP"

the pain subsided and his stomach went soft again. Connor stared at his enormous body in the reflection of the black glass of his TV.

"mm...mmaybe i can cut?" Conner said aloud, completely unaware of the cupcake he was stuffing into his mouth as he spoke...

-----------------------------------

I hope everyone who wanted me to write a weight gain story is happy with this one, this is probably as far as Ill every go with this kinda stuff but yall voted on it and I was happy to write it.

[jellojelli]

Aventurine Boyfriend Headcanons

*a/n: I'll never not be salty that he's the only stoneheart I'm missing right now. I could've had the three available, but no, I took a break during his run time*

As always, 🛑Minors DNI🛑

SFW

Aventurine as a boyfriend can feel kind of hot and cold

everyday is different with him, and that can be very challenging. Will you get you're sweet Kakavasha? Or the cocky and arrogant Stoneheart?

Nobody knows. Not even him.

So if you really want this man you have to be paitent and willing to adapt and help him through his somewhat toxic behaviors. Because lets face it, they can be very toxic at times

This is because of his past and the insecurities they gave him when it came to dealing with other people. I mean, he was told when he was young that his worth was only 30 copper coins, and why would someone like you want to stay with someone like him? Especially with the brand he has on his neck

If you're willing to help him or at least just be there for him during his cold phases you'll have his heart forever. I mean that. Aventurine can be the biggest sap in the entire universe if you let him be

Not only can he be a sap, he's a big spoiler. Every credit he has is basically yours at this point

Constantly wiring money to you, bringing home gifts after missions, taking you shopping even though your closet couldn't possibly fit even one more thing, Aventurine does it all, no credit is wasted if it's for you

that being said, he enjoys giving you handmade things too. At first it was sort of like a test, see if you only like him for his money, but once he sees that you love the gift just as much or even more than the bought stuff his walls are crumbling and are in shambles

God forbid you make him something

It could be a little origami made from a gum wrapper and he keeps it on him like it's made of gold or soemthing

and if you make anything that requires a lot of effort, skill, and/or time? Aeons above help whoever he speaks to Ratio and Topaz

He will not, and i repeat, WILL NOT shut up about whatever you've made for him. And if he can bring it with? Yeah, it's another good luck charm no matter if it's a little cumbersome

They wish he'd stop talking and showing pictures of the same thing everyday

I see him as someone to keep a photo of you in his wallet. He goes on missions for a long time sometimes, and he can't always video call you, so the picture in his wallet will have to do

Don't get your hopes up that its something sappy and cute, its the ugliest sleeping photo of you you've ever seen. Hair in knots, drool, face smushed into the bed, and you're in the craziest pose you've ever seen

But he loves that photo the most and he will fight you for the right to keep it in his wallet so don't even try to replace it or take it away from him, you wouldn't win anyways

Don't even think about getting into danger around him or telling him about something stupid you want/have done. He will literally drag you back home and either prevent you from going, or scold you for having done the thing. and if you somehow manage to convince him to do the dangerous thing, he's coming with and shielding you up so much that it's not even a challenge for you anymore

Another thing, because he can sometimes try to push you away you both get into fights on ocassion. Don't take it to heart, he doesn't even mean anything he says, he just subconsiously thinks that you're going to leave him for someone he deems better i mean, you have been hanging around that doc recently....what if you like him more?

He's punching himself in the face though after every mean word he says, so don't even worry about him not feeling bad about the fight or his words, because he feels awful and stupid and he's damn near begging you not to leave him over it

Kakavasha just loves you too much....

NSFW

This man right here is nasty nasty bro

like one second he'll have you against the wall fucking into you like an animal and the next your face is pressed into the mattress as the entire bed shakes and slams against the wall rip your neighbors rest if you live in an apartment

He doesn't consider it a successful fuck unless you can't walk and can't remember anything other than his name, if you can still talk, you can give him another <3

This man is probably into everything under the sun and more

I'm talking toys, hair pulling, spitting, spanking, degrading, praise, if you can think it, he's probably into it tbh

Would he overstimulate you or edge you?

Both

he'd edge you until you're basically crying and then make you cum so much you think you're about to pass away

This man, this man right here, is a certified m u n c h

He'd eat you out breakfast, lunch, and dinner if you'd really let him

His favorite for giving oral is any position where he can keep you anchored right on his mouth so you can't squirm away

Don't even try it hon, he'll grip your hips so hard it bruises and pull you back, giving you a look like you just called him a bitch and slapped him

dear aeons above and below he loves using toys on you

any toy is good enough for him, no matter if you want him to use it on you, or if you want to use it on him

that's another thing, this man can dom and sub with ease. He has no issue doing either or both in a night, whatever it takes to get you to cum is on the table

Fuck/peg this man

he will wimper, he will whine, and he will be a brat the entire time you're pushing into him

And all those kinks he's into? That's not just one way. Every kink he'd do to you, you can do to him without question

Safe word is probably something dumb that he thought of at work instead of working... like IPC, or stonehearts...He's lame but it sure will snap either of you out of it

Aftercare king and you can't convince me otherwise

He knows he can go rough, and maybe just a tad over the top, so you're getting the princess/prince treatment after you guys have sex

Bath, water, food, all the softest clothing he's ever bought you, fresh silk sheets before you lay back down, a massage, you name it, he's on it

Pillow talk for sure, he just likes to hear you talk, doesn't have to be anything serious or thought out, you can literally just ask him if he'd still love you as a worm and he'd be happy to answer <3

It's no btw <3

Masterlist

[hopesangelsprite]

♡ Mine ♡

Illumi x black!chubby!reader

Summary: Illumi's tired of worrying about losing you... so he decides it's time to change that forever.

Warnings: language, lighthearted murder threats; other than those it's pretty domestic.

"We should get married."

Any traces of fatigue in your body vanished after those words fell upon your previously resting ears. You stayed still, waiting for any indication that what you'd heard was a mistake on your part. There was nothing but silence and the barely audible sound of your lover's breathing. Then that silence was broken once again.

"What do you think?", Illumi questioned from his spot draped across your stomach. What'd you think... what did you think? Well, you were wondering what had brought such a question about and how random its utterance was. Before he'd spoken, the two of you had been cuddling for about 3 hours prior. Technically, Illumi had come in unannounced and sprawled across you unceremoniously before shimmying down so that his head could rest on your abdomen. Occasionally he'd poke or pinch you out of boredom, now and then he'd nibble at you just because he could, and you wouldn't do anything about it.

The atmosphere had been comfortable. Nothing in the air alluded to the impromptu proposal that had just been made. "I'm just wondering where that question came from honestly.", you finally spoke while sitting up to peer down at Illumi. He simply hummed at repositioned himself so that he was practically sitting in your lap, which you'd be sure to tease him about later. "We've been seeing each other for about a year now, and my parents somewhat approve of you. It's time we make it official that you're mine.", he stated matter-of-factly. You blinked at him, and he blinked back.

He wasn't wrong. Your one-year anniversary would be coming up in a month and neither of you had any intentions of leaving each other whether it be in the near future or otherwise. It was true that Silva and Kikyo liked you enough not to kill you, it'd taken Killua a while to warm up to you but once he had he considered you as his older sister. He'd even gone as far as to warn Illumi never to hurt you "or else", which you both found adorable. The thought of marrying Illumi didn't sound bad at all, in fact, it filled your heart with that warm fuzzy feeling people sang about in love songs. Still, you were in a silly goofy mood and felt like pulling his chain.

"And what if I said no?", you questioned. Illumi stopped separating your curls to glare at you softly. "I'd kill someone.", he answered after a beat of silence. You smirked and rested your hands on his waist before tilting your head. It was a vague answer yet one you'd expected. "Who?", you pressed further prompting him to think for a moment. "One of those idol singers you like so much, maybe (insert fave idol name).", he replied while fluffing up your hair like a pillow. You scoffed, offended at his words as well as his blatant attack on one of your favorite humans.

"You wouldn't."

"Fuck around and find out."

"Language!"

Illumi rolled his eyes and released your hair to lean back on his palms. His change in posture offered you a wonderful view of his abdomen, toned muscles littered with barely visible scars and lipstick stains from earlier. "Where's all this attitude coming from, mister?", you inquired earning another eye roll. "Don't play with me. It's so not worth it, bro.", he warned. You gawked, thoroughly shocked at his use of your favorite phrases against you. He was in a silly goofy mood too it seemed. A chuckle escaped you as you shook your head. This was going to be a very long and entertaining marriage. "I'm gagged.", you muttered under your breath forgetting how heightened Illumi's sense of hearing was.

"Not as much as you should be... but that's fixable.", he sighed painting another shocked expression across your face. You shook your head vehemently while throwing yourself back onto your pillows. "Nope, I'm done. No way I'm marrying a man sassier than I am, there's simply no way.", you huffed out. Before you could say anything else, Illumi caged you in with his arms now straddling you properly. His hair fell around you two to create a dark, silky veil. "How about now?", he asked while gesturing to his left hand. You tilted your head to see an open ring box.

The ring inside it pushed all thoughts of where he could've been hiding the box from your head. Bands of expertly crafted and delicate silver had been woven to encircle the biggest emerald diamond you'd ever seen. It was a thing of true beauty, nothing like you'd ever seen or would ever see again anywhere else in the world. "I've changed my mind, when's the wedding date, pretty boy!", you cooed while wrapping your arms around your future husband's neck.

Illumi dealt you another eye-roll before pressing a kiss to your lips. You smiled into his cool lips and tucked some of his hair behind his ears while reciprocating the kiss. The kiss broke after a few breathless moments and Illumi rolled off of you to cuddle into your side. Gently, he took your hand and slipped the ring onto your awaiting finger. It fit perfectly.

You beamed brightly and tucked your face into the crook of his neck. "Crazy that I had to show you a diamond to convince you to marry me.", he spoke into your hair earning a lighthearted smack to his arm. "Shut up, you already knew I would marry you because I love you. Unlike you who's marrying me for my good looks and backside.", you teased. Silence followed your statement, yet you could practically hear the smirk on his face.

"Motherfucker."

"Language, my love."

Yeah, agreeing to marry this idiot would probably be the greatest mistake of your life, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[semisolidmind]

How do you think season 5 would’ve gone in your Bad End or Twice As Bad AU?

ok, so

y'know how, since season 4, mk has been going through the whole “i don’t want to use or even acknowledge my monkey form because it makes me feel like a monster” thing? well, bad end/twice as bad mk doesn’t have that hangup to address, because he’s spent his entire life up until the shows’ events in that form, training and living in it. he knows no other way.

he is an incredibly powerful monkey demon; he is the harbinger of chaos, and he's fine with it.

his “mortal” form is the one he’s been having visions and confrontations with. (i imagine the ink curse in s4 using his mortal form to taunt him about being weak now that he's got mortals he cares about– "keep on compromising for them, and you'll end up just like them; too small and insignificant to ever make a difference.")

instead of having to face his fear that he may be dangerous (because as a crazy powerful monkey demon trained by the two other most powerful monkey demons in the universe, of course he is), his mortal self is trying to tell him that he doesn't have to be a monster like wukong. death and rampant destruction don't have to be his legacy.

the mortal mk in his meditative visions tells him that caring for his friends doesn't make him weak or undeserving of his power and lineage. the visions he has during the guardian trials (and the guardians themselves) tell him that in order to be a real hero, he has to care about those that his training would tell him are "lesser" than him (also that his friends aren't worth less just because they don't have a ridiculous amount of power).

mk would learn to accept that every being in the world has value, regardless of their status. nuwa would tell him this as well, when he meets her.

season 5 would be bad end/twice as bad mk's journey of accepting that he has a mortal heart, and that caring for others has immense power all on its own. he must choose to be the change to the status quo.

he'd always known he was an "agent of chaos," but the events of season five cement in his mind that he was brought into the world for a reason. just that now, he alone gets to decide what that reason is.

----------

as for his mentors...

getting captured and re-bound by the gold fillet wasn't exactly on the monkey king's itinerary, and he's majorly pissed. he levels the surrounding area about it, and decimates all of the soldiers sent to subdue him (regardless of how agonizing the tightening spell is; the pain just makes him angrier). he breaks every ward and barrier placed against him, tears apart any enemy who dares to come close. his rage is a force to be reckoned with.

wukong had sworn he'd never be subjugated by heaven ever again; he's definitely not just gonna let this slide. the celestial realm will suffer for their breach of the tentative peace they brokered by leaving the monkey king well enough alone.

as the only one that gets captured after his fit of rage, he only has to get himself out of celestial prison. easy, despite how many wards are placed on his cell (it's not like heaven has ever been much of a threat to him before, after all). he has to get back to the group, for his family's sake. nothing will stand in his way.

macaque only barely dodges getting locked into a fillet as well, and uses his advantage to launch a sneak attack on nezha and li jing; this forces them back and gives the gang their chance to escape in the chaos caused by the monkey bros.

the shadow general takes the distraction provided by wukong's rampage to get reader and everyone else somewhere safe. from there, the gang helps mk find all the stones, defeat the guardians trials, and eventually make their way to the pillar.

both wukong and macaque try to stop mk from sacrificing himself (in-between fighting the nine-headed demon), and reader tries to talk him down from it. however, she can't argue with the look of quiet determination on his face..she knows that he's made up his mind. with tears in her eyes she embraces him, then lets him go.

wukong tries to go after him, but one look at reader stops him. she's...she's accepted his decision. just like she always has. maybe...maybe this time, wukong should too. he sheds tears and holds onto his wife... but doesn't follow his son into the pillar.

the world goes silent, before bursting back to life.

the stones are destroyed, the nine-headed demon dissapears, and things go back to almost normal.

----------

—i imagine reader, with her skills as a peacemaker developed from her centuries as queen of flower fruit mountain, is the one who keeps everyone calm and grounded throughout their ordeals. she's gotten to know them all through her adopted charge, and keeps them on track.

—now it'd make sense for reader to be left relatively safe on ffm, but given the state of the universe in this season, the monkey bros aren't about to let her out of their sight (weird end-of -the-world-again family road trip). they don't care much for the rest of existence, but even they have to acknowledge that they'd prefer the world and their mountain unbroken.

—the pagoda sequence is a very emotionally tense one for reader and the boys in twice as bad. reader relives being stolen and the early years of her imprisonment; after they break her out of the hundred eyed demon's spell, she won't look at either of them and flinches away when they try to touch her; little does she know, her husbands relived the same thing (plus all the other bad shit they've done). they've learned enough compassion for her to feel a bit of shame.

[quest-for-pluto]

(b • h)/2

NeteyamxAvatar!Female!ReaderxAo’nung

Summary: Ever since you were gifted with an avatar body, two of your friends have been acting really weird.

Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

“Neteyam,” you said. “What the fuck?”

“What, you don’t like it?” He frowned, bringing the string of decorative beads closer to his face for further inspection.

You barely restrained yourself from taking it from him and smacking him with it. How could someone possibly be this dense? “Look,” you started in a pained voice. “It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that this is the twentieth hair ornament you’ve given me in a week. What am I going to do with twenty hair ornaments?”

You had even started secretly giving some away to the young Metkayina girls when he wasn’t paying attention. They would at least find better use for it.

Neteyam’s ears drooped dejectedly as you scolded him. “But,” he protested in confusion. “I thought you liked hair ornaments?”

Eywa give you strength.

You stepped closer to him and poked him harshly in the chest. A slight flush broke out over his cheeks at your proximity.

“I do like hair ornaments,” you hissed at him, your right under-eye twitching from the strain of keeping your composure. “It was sweet like, the first three times. But I’m afraid if you give me anymore, my head will snap off from the weight of carrying an entire tree’s worth of wood!”

With that you pushed past him, stalking back to the village with a huff and leaving Neteyam staring at your retreating figure in shock.

“Shit, that was rough!” Lo’ak snickered, elbowing his brother in the side.

“Shut up, skxawng,” Neteyam glared, sulking deeply. It seemed he would have to step up his game.

From a distance, another boy with lighter skin and a topknot scowled as he watched the situation unfold, the spear he was carving suddenly snapping in his hands.

****

You were sitting on the shore, collecting materials to weave into clothing.

Someone cleared their throat above you, causing you to look up.

“Ao’nung?” You said questioningly, raising a brow. “What’s up?”

“You hunt?” He demanded, not looking you in the eye. He was hiding something behind his back.

“Uh, yes?” You furrowed your brows, looking up at him in confusion. Usually Ao’nung wasn’t like this, if he had something to say to you, he would just come out it say it. But now it looked like there was something holding him back, making him fidget uncomfortably.

A handcrafted spear was abruptly shoved in your face. You reeled back at the sudden movement, falling back on your hands.

“What—?” You startled.

“For you,” he said lowly, clearing his throat.

You blinked in shock, taking the spear from him and inspecting it. It was beautiful, with a sleek wooden staff and a polished bone tip. Designs specific to the Metkayina clan were carved into the staff and the idents were painted black to stand out. The bone tip was expertly sharpened and secured tightly with the strongest twine on the island.

“Woah,” you breathed in amazement, but feeling a sudden confusion take root. “Why would you give this to me?”

He scowled, crossing his arms defensively. “It’s an old one I don’t use anymore, and I figured you could use all the help you could get.”

A pang of annoyance shot through you, but it was soon overrun by disbelief. There was no way this was his ‘old spear’. The spear had zero scuff marks, as if it had never drawn its first blood.

You glanced back up to call him out, but stopped yourself when you noticed the slight flush on his cheeks.

Okay. What the fuck was going on?

“Get down!” Neteyam hissed from behind a bush not too far away, pulling Lo’ak down by his ear. “They’re going to see us!”

“The hell bro?” Lo’ak complained, rubbing the side of his head with a scowl.

Neteyam glowered under the shade of a tree leaf, yellow eyes flashing with jealousy. Who the hell did fish lips think he was, stealing his girl? He had obviously made it very clear that he was courting you.

He watched with increasing irritation as Ao’nung ogled you like a piece of meat, a dark flush spreading across his face.

Neteyam growled, his tail swishing dangerously behind him. Oh, it was on.

Thwack.

“Fuck!” Lo’ak yelped, holding his face as he fell over. “Are you serious bro?”

****

“Y/n!”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up in dread as the wool slipped out of your hands.

“Quick, hide me!” You hissed suddenly, startling Kiri enough to drop the basket she was weaving.

“What?” She spluttered as you lunged under some woven tarps, curling yourself into a ball to hide yourself completely.

“Y/n!” Neteyam burst into the marui not a second later. He paused in confusion, having thought he saw you here a second ago with Kiri, but now you were nowhere to be found. “Kiri, have you seen Y/n?”

A bead of sweat trickled slowly down your forehead. Come on Kiri, you pleaded. Get the hint.

Kiri blinked as the puzzle pieces started coming together in her mind. “Uh, no, it’s just me in here.”

Neteyam frowned skeptically. “Really? Because I thought I saw at least someone else in here.”

Kiri raised a brow. “You must have hit your head hunting or something, brother. There’s no one else here.”

With one last dubious look, he turned and trudged slowly out of the marui, tail swishing in irritation behind him.

Once you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore, you carefully peaked your head back out from under the tarps. “Is he gone?” You whispered cautiously, eyes still wide and on edge.

“Yeah,” Kiri looked at you strangely. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

You sighed, crawling out tiredly from under the tarps and slumping against the wall. You slung an exasperated arm over your eyes. “Ever since I got my avatar, Neteyam and Ao’nung have been acting so weird.”

Kiri shuffled closer, her curiosity piqued. “Really, how?” She raised a questioning brow.

“I don’t know, like,” you huffed in frustration. “All of a sudden, they started giving me so many things I didn’t need. At first it was nice of them, since I thought it was their way of welcoming me officially into the Na’vi culture, but now it’s getting ridiculous. I now have like twenty hair ornaments, an accessorized dagger and a crossbow from Neteyam, and a spear, two necklaces and assorted handpicked Metkayina sweets from Ao’nung. I have no idea why—hey,” you paused as Kiri started to snicker, and soon enough she was bent over as full belly laughs shook her collapsed body. “What—why are you laughing?”

“Oh my Eywa,” she snorted, wiping a stray tear away as she picked herself back up. “This is too good. Y/n, you can’t possibly be this oblivious.”

You stared at her in confusion and slight irritation. This was a serious issue that had been bothering and worrying you for weeks, and now she was laughing? “Want to tell me what I’m missing here?”

Kiri grabbed your shoulders, shaking you lightly with a gleeful smile. “Y/n, they’re courting you!”

They’re courting you.

As soon as the words sunk in, your jaw dropped. “No,” you shook your head, rejecting the idea immediately. “There’s no way.”

“Oh but there is,” Kiri giggled, a touch too deviously for your liking. “Oh this is great! We can have so much fun with this.”

“What? No! What are you even saying Kiri?” You scowled, looking at your friend in disbelief. “How could you think that?”

“Y/n,” she said seriously, raising an unimpressed brow. “Think about it. A bunch of sudden attention? Showering you with gifts?” She leaned closer, wiggling her brows suggestively. “Your bangin’ new bod?”

“Ewww,” you shoved her face away, gagging. “You’re crazy, there’s no way they’d like me. We’re just friends.”

“That’s how you see them,” she smirked knowingly. “But I guarantee you that they don’t. Trust me, next time they try to approach you, tease them a little, and watch how they react. If they get flustered, well you know I’m right. If they’re friendly like usual, then you’re right.”

****

It had been bothering you, what Kiri said. In fact, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Tease them a little, and watch how they react.

A dark flush creeped over your face, warming your cheeks. “No,” you shook your head aggressively. “That’s stupid. I’m not going to do that.”

But what if she was right?

What were you even going to do with that information if she was?

It was at that precise moment when you heard something that sounded suspiciously like a punch.

“Ow! Let go!”

“No, you let go!”

Splash.

Feeling a thick dread pooling at the pit of your stomach, you hurriedly followed the grunting and splashing sounds until you pushed aside some foliage, greeted with a view of the two culprits trying to viciously drown each other.

“What are you doing?!” You shrieked in horror, dropping whatever you were carrying and running towards them as fast as you could.

At the sight of you, the two of them abruptly let go of each other, standing up as stiff as poles.

You stopped right by the shore, shoulders heaving as you glared at them. An embroidered headpiece floated innocently towards you, brushing up against your ankles.

“It’s for you,” Neteyam cleared his throat, wiping the water from his face. “I was going to find you to give it to you, until this skxawng attacked me.”

“What?” Ao’nung exclaimed in outrage, turning towards Neteyam angrily. “You threw the first punch, idiot!”

“Only because you slapped Y/n’s gift out of my hand!” He growled back.

“Enough!” You hissed, shutting them both up. “This has gone on for long enough. I don’t know what your goals were, if this was supposed to impress me or something, but all it did was make the two of you look like the biggest idiots on the island.”

Neteyam lowered his gaze in shame as Ao’nung averted his eyes with a scowl.

“I don’t know how you could be so dense,” he grumbled. “I was obviously courting you.”

Neteyam whipped his head up, an angry snarl pulling at his lips. “What are you saying? I was courting her first! You were just interfering.”

“What?” Ao’nung snapped in indignation. “Who said—”

“It doesn’t matter who was courting me first!” You bared your teeth. “I choose no one! You’re both morons!”

“What—”

“But—”

Holding your hand up, you silenced the protests, glaring at both of them heatedly. “Don’t talk to me until you’ve both started acting like adults.”

You turned on your heel, angrily stomping away from the water and leaving the two boys shocked to silence as they floated in the water beside each other.

Neteyam was the first to blink out of it, giving Ao’nung a grimacing stink eye.

“The hell are you looking at, forest bitch?” Ao’nung snapped back.

Neteyam rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Obviously nothing impressive.”

“You piece of s—”

***************

This might have been slightly OOC lmao, oops. I might make two alternate continuations where the reader ends up with one or the other, not sure yet.