#which i was shocked by cause. ive had 10+ for like a week in a row befote and they didnt help at all

[colectingstrz]

THE RECEPTIONIST ☏

➤ (📞) GENRE: fluff, strangers to lovers | PAIRING: jay x fem reader | WC : 1.9k | SUMMARY: When you find your self crushing hard and constantly go to your local hospital just so you could see the cute receptionist again or in which the cute receptionist is amused by your antics and secretly anticipates your return.

SOO’S SMOL NOETY 📝:

𖤐 lowkey off topic but I’m quite embarrassed to say I’ve never seen these pictures of jay before... (＃＞＜) Like ive been stanning enha sine iland as well I don’t get it.. I came across this and was so shocked cuz how come I’ve NEVER SEEN THESE JAY PICS!!?? it’s just added an extra 5 years onto my lifespan (thank you to my man!! 🥰) + this is 80% proof read see a weird word? Erase it from your memory ❤️

YOUR MOTHER WAS DRAMATIC. Everything little thing that happened, she would inflate out of proportion, just like today. When you called her and told her you had some odd rashes, she freaked out and arrived to your university accommodation within 10 minutes. You tried to reassure her that it wasn't deep, but she didn't want to hear it. Assuming the worst, she literally dragged you by your ear to her car and drove you to the hospital.

The whole thing was humiliating as your friends and anyone who lived in your section watched the whole interaction form their windows. You understand your mother wanted to make sure you were alright. Especially as you were the youngest sibling she always was extra mindful of you. But she was doing way to much for your liking. You just wanted to get this over with and go home.

Once you arrived you and your mother approached the counter and rang the bell so that a receptionists could be alerted. Soon a tall male appeared “ I apologise for the wait I had an important call.. what can I do for you miss?” You shot your head up once you heard the voice stepping closer and locking eyes with him .

For you, it was love at first sight. He was cute, he was handsome, and all of the above. You had never seen anyone as attractive as him in your 20 years of living. Who is this angel from above his jawline? I need him to cut me in ha- " y/n sweetie, why don't you explain your problem to the gentleman?"

Oh yeah..my rashes

“uh... I have some rashes uh... that are uh... spreading all over umm..my back” you internally slapped yourself for speaking like that and stuttering it's bad enough you showed up with your mum at your big age and now this..what was he supposed to think of you. It was difficult to concentrate on your words as his deep brown eyes were fixed on you.

He hummed as he scribbled something on his notes, “ladies please sit over there on the red chairs and make yourself comfortable I'll set you up with one of our doctors in a minute ” oh I'll make myself comfortable alright “pardon? ” You covered your mouth with your hands as you gasped, realising you had spoken out loud. Here I am again, embarrassing myself in front of him .

The male chuckled to himself before heading off down the hall.

Later that week more like 2 days after you found yourself at the hospital again Why? Because you were sick sick. Suffering from what? A bad case of I’m attracted to my hospitals receptionist syndrome and you needed an antidote quickly.So What perfect way to curs yourself by seeing the cause instead.

Plus you couldn’t focus at uni he lived in your head rent free and you didn’t even know his name. You wanted to talk to him again to hear his deep voice. Maybe you were obsessed ? Crazy? But you were crazy in love and needed to see him. So during your free you took the train and made your way to the hospital.

As you approached the counter you were met with an unfamiliar pair of eyes it was another receptionist. Where’s the sexy jawline dude who the hell is this old woman? “ umm excuse me ? Where’s the hot receptionist” the lady looked up from her paper and raised a brow eyeing you up and down “ if your a fan girl please excuse yourself out the hospital if your not actually sick “ tch she has an attitude “ uhh..im actually his girlfriend im here to drop somthing off ! I’ll be quick” you forced a smile as she squinted her eyes once more giving you a look as if searching for you obvious lie but she seemed to buy it “ I’ll call him for you stay here ” she disappears into the back and eventually your “boyfriend” comes out.

“ boyfriend ? “ he raised a brow with an amused smile on his face. You will be soon you just don’t know it yet “ i..uhh I only said that so you could come out please don’t misunderstand anything ” he nodded sitting down on the chair “ well then since you requested me what do you need ? ” you didn’t actually come there with a plan. Not having enough time to think of some fake diagnosis to give yourself you chose to be honest.

A sudden wave of confidence washes over you “ I need you ” he raised a brow “pardon ?” You nodd “ you heard me” the male chuckles to himself “you came all the way just to say this.. I’ll applaud you for your determination but im not interested ” im going to throw my self of a building “ don’t speak so soon.. once you get to know me your going to become interested” he hummed “ sure sure” you crossed your arms “ well if your going to reject me can I at least know the name of the guy I’ve been dreaming about ” he smirks “ you’ve been dreaming about me? Your very honest I like that.. and the names jay “ even his name is sexy

“ I’m honest and a lot more things you will like if your willing to find out jay..” you graced your fingers over his lightly before turning off to leave. With a proud smile on your face

Jay didn’t really understand what just happed but he found you amusing. It’s not like he hadn’t had girls come here and put it on him but something about the way you carried yourself and acted was different. He wouldn’t admit it but he hoped to see you some time soon.

As quick as the next day you showed up. You approach the counter to be met with the same old annoying lady “ here to see your boyfriend? I’ll get him ” maybe she’s not so annoying anymore you smiled to yourself as your little lie seemed to be doing you wonders

“ good afternoon jay how’ve you been did you miss me” he rolled his eyes while flicking though some documents “ you’ve been gone for 21 hours.. there’s nothing to miss it hasn’t even been a full day” he was counting..? “ you counted how many hours soooo…you did miss me didn’t you ?” you spoke with a slight blush on your cheeks at the thought that he actually missed you to some extent. Jay noticed this he thought it was cute how easily flustered you got “ your cute when you blush ” hearing him say that you made your legs melt like jelly almost losing balance to the point jay even stood up reaching out for your arm in concern

“ y/n.. are you alright ?” You nodd slowly “ you know my name..” you speak in a dazed tone to which jay smiles “ of course your not someone to forget.. so are you actually sick or.. you came here to see me” what do you think “ no this time I’m actually a little under the weather do you want to know why jay ” he nodded getting out his notepad

“ I’m stuffing from unrequited love.. the guy I like doesn’t feel the same way.. and I think I might die from a broken heart ” you spoke dramatically with a small pout flashing jay your doe eyes hoping he would be tranced by your attempt to be cute and fall in love with you. To your shock he flicked your forehead “ ouch! Why would you do that ! ” he now moved closer to you placing his hands on the counter staring at you deeply

“ it seems your suffering form something else too.. stupidity ” huh? What is that supposed to mean “ what.. please elaborate I’m unaware of this symptom” you speak deeply confused so you move closer to jay urging him for an answer. Almost closing the distance between the two of you. You action caught jay of guard causing him to move back and hide his deep blush with a cough “ that’s a conversation for another time “ you raise a brow “ another time? So you intend to see me again when’s the date ” he laughs “ I never said I was taking you out on a date ” you pout again

“ fine then.. I guess I’ll just go to another hospital form now on..” you turn to leave wishing he would follow you but the more you headed to the entrance you realised he wasn’t. You sighed maybe this is a sign I should move on.

Though just as you stepped foot out the entrance you felt a force pull you to an outside wall pushing you against it. You were shocked to see jay. “ are you that dense y/n” what what what “Huh..? I don’t I.. I don’t understand ” his eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips he seemed as if he heisted at the thought of kissing you

“ on second thought.. I-I don’t need to understand if your going to kiss me just do it ” he chuckled lightly placing his finger on your lips “ I want to make that move in a better and more appropriate setting if you get what I mean” he still wants to kiss me so a win is a win.

you couldn’t belive that this whole time jay liked you back you mentally facepalm yourself for being so dense how did you not notice sooner? A regular person would have shooed you away yet he entertained it all. It was so obvious I’m an idiot

He pulls away from you slightly now resting on the wall next to you

“ wait so you really did miss me? ” he nodded but you didn’t fail to miss the small tint of red that was evident on his ears as he attempted to turn away “ yeah.. I actually gave you my number but I guess you didn’t notice “ you raise a brow number HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER AND I DIDINT NOTICE !?

“ wait wait wait when? “ he shrugged “ on the first day I wrote it on a sheet of paper and when I escorted you and your mom to the doctor I slipped it into your bag since you left it open Damm it this was the 3rd mental facepalming you had revived for your actions, as you do in fact remember seeing a scrunched up ball of paper but assumed it was rubbish and threw it in the trash.

“ I threw that in the bin thinking it was rubbish oh my gosh Jay why didn’t you just straight up say it to me my memory is impeccable!” he smiles “ I wanted to tease you a little bit longer I like seeing you all cute and flustered ” now it was your turn away and hide the blush on your face.

You had so much more you wanted to say to him but the interaction was cut short by that annoying old lady. Yes after what interrupting your lil moment with jay she became annoying again

“ Jay.. stop sucking your girlfriends face off and answer to some customers I’m on my break !” She yells as you could hear her approaching. You turn to jay with a frown. Though Shocking both you and him Jay unknowingly places a quick kiss on your cheek mouthing a small “I’ll see you later” before running back into the hospital.

You sigh as you lean on the wall placing your hand on your cheek as you relived the moment on reply. Again and again and again and again- “ y/n!” you hear jay call out for you. He approached you quickly placing a folded paper in your Palm “ my number.. please don’t throw it away again and call me”

And he sped off again

You smiled to yourself as you held the paper firmly in your hand not wanting to let go. You never knew in your life that you would be thanking your mother for being so dramatic.

@COPYRIGHTS SOOTREEPEAR 2023

𖤐 steal my work and I’ll come to your house and suck your blood 🧛‍♀️

𖤐 This story is very personal to me not that I’ve done this before 💀 but like it’s so real to me cuz this is exactly what i would do if In some other universe jay was a receptionist at my local hospital tho the difference is I’ll just admire him from after 😔 Aniiii ways I hope you liked it !!

- peace and love ♡︎

𖤐 link to my other works

[thepowerisyouth]

Eh mental health is annoying. Buying & cooking cheap low-FODMAP diet is annoying. My best top note for now is I'm using this blog to practice writing. I need more practice in it. I only know business, accounting & economics stuff. Its stupid stuff. Theres too much actual fraud everywhere that its annoying

Also I use mobile so formatting sucks cause Nvidia GPUs, or Arch dont like tumblr site. Or tumblr site dont like tumbkr site

Also also I 100,000% support all my fellow ones-and-zeros and their identity. Everyone is welcome here.

Except transphobes/zionist/long list of others but you get it. I'll help harrass any of those types endlessly if someone wants to tag me, and bring me in on an argument like that friend you call for backup with fights

Im unhinged so who's to say exactly what will end up here but this is also a completely public blog to me friends, family, hell, even acquaintances i dont give a fuc.

Blog should be expected to be roughly as child-friendly as simpsons or bobs burgers. But also boring like a civics/economics lesson sometimes. Yay

--------

I (and my husband) am ex mormon. Its a weird thing. Look into it if you havent recently. Realllllyyyy look into. Takes time to figure it all out in this fuckin fucked up world.

I just moved a year ago. Didnt watch the US stock market as much as I normally do. Had my first snowstorm 10 weeks ago, that was.. fun to handle while ill prepared. About 6 weeks ago I was hopping back on the market and notice its a huge tech bubble about to pop and all the conditions Ive been warned about my whole career imply this is not good. Just took a little more thinking & digging and I'm a little too confident to stop talking about it now.

(Oh I'm also care-free as fuc so I dont really read or desire to change past posts more than lil-nitpicks. More informative for the reader & myself-in-the-future-reading that way)

And I'm not kidding I do love feedback & questions. Its a very public blog tho so I get that part for sure.

If you search "life story" in my tags I had that pinned for a min Im just moving shit around rn

Being poor sucks. Will write more on that later.

---------------

First of all-- the exact timeline of an "economic shock" is literal insanity. Dont worry about the exact timing of any of this-- just know its doomed to happen soon.

Here are some effects I predict of this upcoming economic downturn

If anyone comes across any sources for these events that support my arguments please feel free to add in comments, reblogs, etc.

This concise list is mainly for my own reference, but it would be great to add to it if any one has something to add!

0.5. US Stock market collapse-- I have no desire to try and predict this one exactly. Too many conspiracies are actually correct about this big guy. Lets just say 7 US Tech stocks are worth 25% of the entire worlds market, roughly. "Too big to fail"-- I believe is the phrase

1. Corporate (slightly later will be residential by extension) real estate crisis: currently way too overvalued. Most of the houses, land, & urban corporate property we see could stand to decrease by about 60-90% from its current price.

2. Bankruptcy crisis: similar to the after-effects of the 70s inflation-- we can expect to see a huge wave of bankruptcies affecting a variety of business: from the micro-self employed; to the small business with leased buildings; to the largest corporations who commit massive accounting fraud & hope to escape accountability in time

3. Bank runs-- there is an extremely high overreliance on the Federal Reserve, who does not have good control over this situation. Once it becomes clear that there is a crisis (we call this a catalyst event)-- bank runs for physical cash are a surety. Hard to say how long a crisis like this might last. I should ask my siblings who lived near the SVB bank crisis hotspot (but those were rich fucks they do their "bank runs" over the phone)

3.5. Global currency collapse, which takes effect in every single local, state, & national economy at slightly different times. This means prices lower. Much lower. But takes time

4. Whatever the fuck the geopolitics is gonna do???. Its weird. You got Russia wanting to invade Europe? (Look at global economic forum 2024) Trump wants to let them. Biden wants to be an establishment corporate ass. North Korea has changed its #1 public enemy to South Korea (dont remember my source but it was a couple months ago). USA is stationing more troops in Taiwan, but probably only because of semiconductor technology?

The scope of our global financial woes are larger than can be explained in any of our lifetimes. Its much, much closer to pre-revolution France or the late 1920s. Big change is coming. Itll be soon

5. More to come

[isekai-times-two]

Two women sat at their station at work trying their best to tune out the grating sounds of machinery, the sizzling of melting metal, and whooshes of hydraulics, as they did every week day for hours on end, and gabbed about their favorite shows, what they would make for dinner tonight, about their family, what they wished they looked like, and so on. The topics of 'what ifs' came up, as it often does with people past their prime and who wish for adventures and outcomes they can never have. What if i never cut my hair, what if i had gotten married younger, what if the power went out and we went home early, and most importantly, what if pokemon were real? 

"Would you give part of your life span to go on a real pokemon adventure?" One had asked the other with no real seriousness behind the curiosity.

"To be 10? And go through puberty again? Ha, no thanks." The other replied while keeping her hands busy with her work.

"Well, older then? Would you if you only went back as far as a teen?"

"Like 15? 18? Yeah, probably."

How were they to know that a god would hear them? A god who watched many timelines in many universes in many realities. A god who decided now was the time to implement a plan now of any moment.

The heat of the machines in the small room grew to such an extreme at such a rapid pace that there was no time to act. The lights blew out in their over exertion, the ground gave out, the sky dimmed, and it all happened so fast there was barely time to cover ones face; but there was no pain. In a moment to quick to even blink there was nothingness. 

One woman brought her arms from her face, previously trying to prevent damage, and looked about the void of nothing;

'Am I dead?' She thought, likely in unison with the other she now looked on at in shock.

"The world you knew is no more." A voice, everywhere and nowhere at once said, causing the two to start and look about in frantic panic,

"Be not afraid, for I have spared your lives, as well as few others." Suddenly, quicker than a blink, as if it had been there the whole time and they had simply not seen its gigantic looming form floating with them in the vast expanse, was the god in question.

"I would offer you the chance to continue your lives, but on a different Earth. One in which you are familiar." They knew who this god was and what world he must have meant, for there was no other option in their mind, "So I repeat your query; in exchange for years of your life, would you return to youth and adventure?" The god now flanked by time and space, "or would you prefer to perish as the rest of the world and chance meeting your families again in some after life that may be?"

It was a horrible situation to be sure, and a horrid choice to make, but at the same time, and with out needing to even look at each other to think it over, he women agreed.

When they opened their eyes next, they saw that they were in a forest, audibly close to some town, and in front of them stood a tall pale man with strange pale hair. He held out both of his hands, one to each woman who looked unrecognizable to the other, in them a pokeball each:

"In these balls are a piece of your souls, you will never bond to another pokemon so much as you will these as they are a part of you that the years ive taken have formed. In your packs you will find all that you need to survive here, and these creatures already know the names that you will give them, even if you do not know yet."

They each retrieved their pokemon timidly, unsure if this world would simply fade away and be the result of hallucinations from the chemicals at work or simply a coma from slipping in the work room maybe; But the balls were cold and firm, and the smells and sounds of the forest so near pavement, recently rained on, were so real they wanted to believe.

"Thank you." One said to the man as he lowered his arms from them. He nodded with a curt smile.

"You will not know who else is from the fallen world, and do not try to perceive them as such any way. Simply accept this fate and move forward, my Viridian children."

And just like that they were alone again.

They looked at each other, perfect strangers, bodies different, but they knew one another and remembered everything. 

"You look how you said you wanted to..." one commented to the other,

"You look so similar but different." The simple but confounding reply.

The one, now blonde, looked back down to her hand she had clutched to her chest, gripping a pokeball that should hold a piece of her soul, and part of her traded away life span, and wondered what might be in it. Her attention tore away from it at the sound of the release of the other soul pokemon. The raven had beat her to her curiosity and revealed an eevee, large, and more sleek than fluffy. It spoke and her eyes grew large, teary, and she looked at the other again, both in shock. 

"Why are you crying?" It asked, perfectly audible.

"Because we shouldn't understand you." The other said, near breathless, as the other gasped on sobs. She was not sad, but the confusion, happiness, and ... honestly there was no describing some emotions.

"But you are Veridian children," it chirped happily, fluffing up its coat, "Arceus has dictated so. My name will be Fenrir, what will yours be?"

The thought hadn't occured to either girl yet, but they truely had a new life and that came with everything; no more pain in their body from age, no more illness of their old world, and no old identity unless they chose it...

"Ami. I want to be named Ami." And leave my old self behind, if just a little, the blonde thought.

"Anne," the other answered, taking her Eevee into her arms, "my name will be Anne."

[nanjokei]

what are your fave mobile games??

to be honest i don't really play that many at the same time but ill talk historically, it makes the most sense anyway. btw this got really long

OG show by rock - one of the most fun mobage rhythm games EVER, the portait orientation 3 button setup looked deceptively easy but it has some of the most evil, vile beatmaps ive ever seen in a mobile game. AND THAT'S CRAZY!!! never gonna forgive sanrio for killing it and making its successor a shitty bandori clone (og sb69 was bound to die anyway bc it had insane rarity creep, but the cheap seeming bandori clone successor that didn't even have half the original bands at the time of EoS two years into launch was a huge slap to the face). the art in the cards was so much more charming than the ones in the new game, they weren't bad but you, me, her, he, them, everyone, we all KNOW what had more soul. i think the only thing the new game had over the old one is the interactive aspect via the homescreen live2d. also cause yasu was in it

fate/grand order - still my forever game, its a game where i dont feel pressure to do anything, you can use anyone you love. i can stop playing for weeks and come back and not feel an insane sense of FOMO which is an issue with a lot of newer mobage. i think a lot of people outsource their opinion on fgo exclusively from negative opinions which makes me kinda sad. the story is great, you can pick up the game at any time, and to those who find that kind of thing important: farming gems is easy. i say give it a shot yourself. ofc there are questionable things given the original source and its origins, not to mention the premise. but i do believe that despite its flaws i think people should reevaluate it fairly and not base it on the time they downloaded NA for 10 minutes and didn't roll an ssr right away after 20 rolls.

mahoutsukai no yakusoku - i'll be honest i have chosen not to play the game properly until an english version comes out bc i do not want to play a clicker in a language i am not very proficient in. HOWEVER. unironically one of the best stories i've read in mobage history, characters are great, i think it has wide appeal and the devs seem to understand that "joseimuke" paradoxically is something that can be enjoyed by all kinds of people (also it is a series that is kind to both fujoshi and yumejoshi. coexisting peacefully afaik). super recommend the story if you like magic, worldbuilding and interesting characters!!! bunta is a great writer. im a fan of idolish7 as well so i can vouch (also you can select your protag's gender which isn't crazy but in a game like this, i super appreciate it)

#compass - horrible game don't play this

love live school idol festival - i want you idol twitter and adjacent cunts to put respect to her name. RESPECT. SIF has never gotten her flowers from any of you facetious little slimeballs and you can deny it all you want but not only was this the blueprint but it also was probably what got you into the things you like in the first place. in a world where every other rhythm game is a bandori clone, i smile knowing SIF2 will keep the spirit of SIF alive (hopefully). the cards were cute, mu's discography is certified classic and anyone denying it in 2023 hates fun, and despite how archaic it was and its MANY flaws, i believe firmly that it deserves respect not only as an idol game but as a mobage in general. it really broke ground being localized when it was.

nikke - definitely top 10 most shocking things of the century that i played this and am still playing. its uh, very flawed, the wall sucks and once you hit that plateau in power level the struggle to catch up to content power walls is kinda depressing, but it has a lot of heart that keeps me logging in and talking to my girls. it's still unabashedly horny (though its a trick actually, a lot of the characters are more covered up than expected and it REALLY pisses a lot of the game's fanbase off), but i'm really enjoying the story. i think my pleasant surprise is so insanely high that it deserves a spot on here-- i think if you let it cook it mostly won't disappoint you. i love most of the characters :) korean kamige

argonavis AAside - i miss you. argonavis still lives, so i do not mourn what is living, but dabues was a special little game because it did not contain the evils of bandori. the gacha was fair, the spark ceiling was 100 rolls(!), but it was mismanaged from the start, fuck dena. im sad the new game will be a clicker but i will be there for argonavis no matter what. was pretty much what garupa should strive to be in terms of A GAME but unfortunately such days do not come to pass.

honorable mention cause its EOSing soon probably and im too bitter to talk about it positively rn given the current shitshow the jp version is in (ily global): vanguard zero, also megido72 because i only started playing it in december but im enjoying it a lot so far. i guess dream!ing also gets a mention. i will not elaborate

this is a postscript but i've played a lot of kusoge for tapjoy rewards and let me tell you. people playing regular well known japanese/korean/chinese mobage do not know the shit and crap that comes from the dregs of the play/app store. you do not know what a kusoge is until you've grinded earnestly and faithfully in shit like state of survival for an entire month. after those experiences i have Truly learned what it means to be a shit game

[chaotic-dumbass-witch]

okay so. gonna stop vagueposting abt medical "professionals" for a second to ask for advice from my fellow chronically ill and disabled ppl out here

so i saw a neurologist the other day. the whole time i felt really dismissed, the usual medical gaslighting thing, etc etc. my GP send me to this cishet white slavic old man - neuro - ordering an emg. dude said emg came back normal, i dont have carpal tunnel, no abnormalities at all. hes happy abt it and immediately writes off all my neuro concerns to me having hEDS as soon as i mention i have that, bc he asked if i have any known conditions.

im happy w the emg testing, the tech was super nice, super patient, etc etc, whatever, glad it came back normal

the issue is, the actual neuro.

i told him im concerned about pain, bc ive had some absolutely horrible shooting, stabbing, electric shock type pains all over my limbs for years, as well as in my back for YEARS, and the pain at worst has me unable to breathe and occasionally pass out. at best, i have to do some breathing exercises to be able to move on w my day, at least until it inevitably hits again

i told him how ever since i was a child, literally 5 years old, whenever something even brushed my wrists i would scream, cry, sob, wheatver, just absolutely lose my shit from pain. even a light breeze, even loose clothes fabric. and this never really stopped. i had a hard time breathing, couldnt function, focus, do anything really, all bc of pain level. i couldnt even have my wrists on a desk bc it would set the pain off, and the pain would make me horribly nauseaous too

i told him about the horrible migraines i experience, the whole "this is a 9/10 on pain for me 99% of the time", cant eat cant sleep cant walk cant do anything cant open my eyes, nausea to hell, etc etc, AND he said "well you dont have double vision so youre fine" even when i told him about the whole "yeah my kaleidoscope vision is so bad that i cant really do much" before the pain hits

i told him about my balance issues - sometimes ill be walking around out and about, and suddenly i get a crash of the whole room is spinning, slight double vision, need to sit down immediately or get on the floor, having a hard time telling whats floor and whats not if im standing up, etc

for both of these issues, the dr was like, oh yeah well 1 is because of your hEDS and scoliosis (which is 6 DEGREES, and does NOT cause that much fucking pain), and 2 is bc of hEDS again, and so is 3 bc its normal for heds ppl to get migraines and he doesnt want to look into it. he completely ignored me when i mentioned 4, and refused to even let me speak any more of it. he literally just kept shushing me and cutting me off and just told me theres nothing wrong w me.

the question. anyone have any ideas? im gonna try to get a second opinion from a female dr bc ime theyre less dismissive about shit, i dont need a second emg i just want a neuro to actually listen to me and either 1) tell me whats wrong w me, 2) refer me to a different specialist, 3) send me for every test known to man, or 4) suck it up and admit they dont know. but like. in terms of what the fuck is going on, any clues? if i have to walk into my GPs office in a few weeks and literally fucking bawl my eyes out and beg her to send me to a specialist i will fucking do it. none of this feels like hEDS, call it a gut feeling. none of this is scoliosis and i know that for absolute shit sure

edit:

i also periodically losing feeling in my fucking hands. neuro brushed it off cause "well its not paralysis, so youre fine". blood circulation is fantastic though

[epaily]

MORE TOTK THOUGHTS CAUSE OMFG I LOVE THIS GAME SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT:::

first things first KOHHHHHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

when he fell into the yiga pit in the first game he fell into the depths!!!

how tf did kohga survive the fall damage

im super interested to go to the gerudo tower now and see if somethings underneath that. ive only explored a tiny bit of the depths god theyre the coolest thing ever

oh my fucking god im fighting kohga with 6 hearts and no weapons how did i get here

when i fought him in botw i had 20+ hearts and full weapon slots full of royal claymores and broadswords and thunderweapons. and a fully upgraded mastersword. oh my fucking god.

help

yiga mask outfit/armor :DDD HATE that they took over king rhoams plateau house though

AND THE COLISIUM???????????

girl.

68 koroks :')

this twink should not have a drivers liscense i cannot fucking drive

i accidently went to lurelin village and had an absolute blast clearing out all the enemies and now im starting to rebuild :D i love having good combat in this game that isnt just smashing things with a stick. i love you flurry rushes i love you stealth i love you critical hits i love you arrow head shots i love you elemental attacks i love you switching weapons midfight i love you bullet time i love you yeeting random fruits at enemies i love you smacky effects that look cool

very excited to eventually go fetch all the lurelin villagers who fled ala tarrey town residents

armor peices i have include the fierce deity boots, shock armor chest peice, royal guards tunic, DARK TUNIC :DDD hylian hood + pants + tunic, barbarian chest peice, ceces wig, yiga mask, and desert voe headpeice.

findign the dragon tears is so fun. i know i said this already but wandering the glyphs just genuinely makes me smile

i went to the forgotten temple. feels horribly incorrect. how did they get the guardians out????? this feels like the one place in the game they should still be. not alive or searchable, just acting as rocks for you to remember and ponder over

speaking of the forgotten temple. holy fuck those backrooms. absolutely stunning sad about the goddess statue but my god that map took my breath away. i know nothing wll be back there in botw but still i want to see people clip behind the goddess statue now

i spent like 2 hours running around what was left of hyrule castle on the ground trying to find my champions tunic. no dice

im not strong enough to fight lynels but they look soooooo cool i want those horns SOOOOO bad

im starting to experiment more with combining things now. both with fuse and seperate abilities. i got a wing glider to travel from no where by holding it in the air, dropping it, climbing on and using recall. i had a full inventory of mushroom spears for about 10 minutes. diy elemantal swords. giant stick boomerang. boulderang. two swords glued together boomerang. frozen boomerang which is op as fuck. i watched someone use ascend by stacking 4 shrine spheres on top of each other. why would i make a boring car when i can slap 4 fans and a rocket on a tree i knocked over. diy catapults i take 4 hearts of damage from. zonai trampolines that always set me backwards and make me take a billion hearts of damage. fire shield that should probably be giving link third degree burns. hes too powerful.

theres less people at the stables ive noticed. but not a ton out wandering the world? eyes emoji

SESAMI ON EVENTIDE LMAOOOO i also went there accidently and then ditched him after doing his quest. did he abandon his friends this time.

still no fuckign paraglider :(((((((

im hardly doing any main story yet, no zora no rito no gorons no gerudo, and i dont plan to for a while. i just want to run across the middle worlds and dick around and find koroks and find caves and do side quests exactly like i did botw. ive had a smile on my face every minute ive played the past week. im having so much fun doing nonsense.

everything is gorgeous and i am in love

[thegeminisage]

tlou tv show thots (under a cut for spoilers):

GOOD: sarah opening section 11/10. absolutely brutal to put things in her pov for an extended section and then have her be the one who died. i thought you know ive seen this a zillion times it wont get me! but it got me. also like. the rising dread with the coughing and people showing symptoms because you know and she doesn't?? ooouuggghhhh

GOOD: tommy hot. sorry it must be said

GOOD: the thing with the blurry old lady scared the shit out of me. i got like horror movie scared

BAD: don't like the tendrils. apparently they are using these instead of spores and there's no biting off chunks of people anymore. they look like vampires drinking blood. really loses something imo

BAD: again, i was constantly anxious about no gas masks. AIRBORNE PANDEMIC AND NO MASKS? you all deserve to get eaten by zombies

GOOD: the 60s show set at the beginning. when they said that thing about the earth getting warmer CAUSING IT i nearly spat out my dinner. like legit screamed. that was the scariest part of the whole show. some jerkoff in 68 going well what if for some weird reason the earth became warmer? then cordyceps could be real. FUCK YOOOUUU

BAD: the exposition. it wasn't like. THAT bad but it got a little annoying. especially when the characters pointedly called each other by name to introduce each other lol. be more subtle

BAD: some of the edginess was a little over-the-top. why a plane crash instead of a car crash? why the big production about the public execution? you don't need big shit like that to shock audiences. tlou is a thing built on subtlety. let it breathe

MIXED: i wish tess had gotten to shoot robert bc that's so cool and fun and sexy of her but i understood why they sped through it. he truly is just the tutorial

MIXED: joel looking for tommy??? i feel like this really glosses over the "this ain't boston lay your hands on me again and i'll fuck you up" thing. why is tommy even still hanging out with him. it's good shorthand for the whole thing with the car battery i GUESS but like :/

GOOD: ellie and joel are both perfectly cast. ellie's potty mouth and joel's gruffness are both perfect. also i LOOOVE that marlene's VA gets to play her irl too i love when they do that shit. she is so beautiful as well it must be said

GOOD: radio smuggler's code. i love how quick ellie figured it out and i loved ending on funky 80s music. was not expecting that at ALL

BAD: ik a tv show can't throw you directly into the action the way a game would, but some of the pacing felt absolutely GLACIAL. i feel like what they were doing was worldbuilding maybe but then why rush through the robert section? even the sarah section was just the teensiest tiniest bit too long. this was an hour and 20 minutes. let's trim some of this down, people!!

GOOD: marlene like you don't have a fuckin ear on your fuckin head kim. so true she literally doesn't. i feel like tlou the game relies on ellie for most of its comic relief and since she wasn't in most of the episode they had to find it in other ways but they did and thats good

BAD: ellie wasn't in most of the ep??

GOOD: they had my tilted building which i love sooo much. i hope they go in it next week

anyway don't let this post fool you while i did have a few notes i mostly had a great time. ABSOLUTELY relieved let me tell you

[mrsmount16]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VIII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1533.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V |  Part VI | Part VII

________

The longer you stayed in the classroom, the worse you felt. Your eyelids were burning, and you could feel your temperature rising. What a bore, now you'd have to return to the dorm, drink more meds, and then run back to the main building. Besides, it wouldn't be easy to focus on studying, meaning you could really fail the upcoming exams.

It was making you angry at yourself. Why did you catch a cold at such time? Why, when you had so many things to do aside from studying, you were sneezing and coughing and shaking from fever? Now you'd have to put two times more efforts to achieve your goals.

It was lunch time when you saw Steve again, and by the look on his face you could say you looked terrible even after you reapplied both concealer and powder generously.

"Are you sick?" He asked you quietly, getting in the seat at the same table.

"Ah, that's just a little cold. Nothing to worry about."

You almost flinched when you saw his hand, but Steve had already reached out to touch your forehead and stared at you in shock. "You're burning. You have a fever."

Yes, you did. Yes, you were going to go collect the meds after you had your lunch because you barely had strength to move. No big deal, you thought with irritation.

"It's alright. I'll go take some acetaminophen in 10 minutes, and I'm gonna be alright." You said stubbornly when Rogers stared at you in disbelief.

"Are you joking? If you continue like that, you'll faint. Listen, if you're worried the teacher will mark you absent, we'll get the nurse to give you a paper that you’re sick and you can’t attend a class."

"I don't need it, I'm perfectly alright. I need to study before the exams start next week."

Staring at the table because you barely kept yourself from shaking wildly, you missed a deeply anxious look on Steve's face. He couldn't understand what was happening to you, but you weren't too eager to elaborate. Was it so hard for him to mind his own business? He wasn't such a good person he tried pretending to be, was he?

"Why are you being stubborn?" He talked so quiet you almost missed his words.

"Because it's not a real disease."

You thought you grumbled like it was nothing, but seeing Steve froze made you uncomfortable. It looked like something clicked inside him, and he no longer asked for the reasoning behind your actions as if he understood something. It was unnerving. You didn't want to talk to anyone about your health or anything like that. It concerned no one but you.

Sighing, you looked at your half-finished plate of spaghetti, knowing you wouldn't be able to eat it all - you had to force yourself to chew, not feeling the taste. Shit. Everything was going wrong in this fucking place.

"Hey, have you heard?" Steve said, and you breathed out heavily, looking up his face. "While the cold itself isn't too dangerous, working and moving while being sick is. The studies have shown that this may cause a great damage to your internal organs, which, in turn, can lead even to your death."

"Wait, what?"

Not waiting for you to say it was impossible, he quickly unblocked his phone and googled something, in a couple of seconds showing you his screen with an article published in a scientific journal. Blinking in surprise, you stared at it and realized this was exactly what he was talking about: he said the truth. The colorful diagram showed studies proving an increase in organ failures, acute state of chronic diseases, and, yes, even death.

You shivered. You never knew it. Was it really true? How many times did you risk getting something like that?

Oh, mom would be so surprised to learn she was wrong all along.

"Let's bring you back to the dorm. I'll give you my own notes for the midterms next week, alright?" Carefully helping you to get up, Steve took you by the arm to guide you back, and all of a sudden, you felt like you were going to cry in front of everyone if you didn't hurry.

You felt cold even when you got beneath two warm blankets, and Steve volunteered to bring you the third one if you could wait a little. You certainly weren’t in rush, your strength leaving you to the point you didn't want to move at all, laying your head on a pillow and trying to warm yourself up. It was so, so cold, even though normally you’d start sweating under the blankets immediately. The thermometer showed your temperature being at 38.5. It was nasty.

Thinking whether you had to stay at home from the start just like Steve said before he left, you debated you had to come to school, anyway. At least you had your notes for the most classes for today, and the weekend would be enough for you to get back on track.

When Steve showed up with two bags in his hands, you eyed him suspiciously: what on Earth was that?

“Just some hot chicken soup, a couple of sandwiches, and a hot tea with lemon.” He reassured you, taking all these things out and placing them on your table.

You could also see a zip bag with several flu sachets, candies with menthol for your throat, a nasal spray, and something else. Oh dear. Did he really bring all this for you? And where did he take this chicken soup?

“I had it. I cooked it yesterday.” He blinked, unsure why you looked so perplexed: you were watching him as if he were an alien. “It’s not that bad. I can cook a good soup.”

“You cook soup?” You asked him when he offered you some, opening the lid of his neat metal thermos and handing you a spoon. “Really?”

He snorted, “Why does everyone ask me that? Thor was laughing when he saw me cooking.”

Steve had a funny expression on his face with those furrowed blonde eyebrows, and you let out a chuckle, trying the soup without a second though. Wow, it tasted nice. Almost like a soup your grandma cooked for you when you were a kid.

It made you feel sad, and you simply sipped the broth while Steve unpacked the third blanket and put it over you as if he were your mama or something. Funny enough, you couldn’t remember the last time your mom or dad really did it, and you became deeply ashamed you were so sick you couldn’t do it yourself.

“What’s wrong?” The guy asked you the second he looked at you again. “Why are you making this face?”

Oh, you wanted to be wrapped into your blankets like a little caterpillar and not answer any questions at all. It was already too embarrassing.

Avoiding his gaze, you mumbled, “Nothing. I’m just sorry you had to go through all the trouble for me.”

“What trouble? It’s nothing.” He smiled at you like he didn’t mind doing all this to make you feel better, and you bit down on your lip.

Was he good or bad? He did lie to you about Peter, and everybody said Steve was a complete control freak, right? But then again, nobody would go and take care of you, just some girl from academy who didn’t have any real friends here. Steve helped you return to your room, brought you things, fed you his soup, and was now mixing a hot lemon drink in a glass for you. Nobody would do it, but he did.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly, and he raised his eyes at you. “You don’t have to do this, really. I know you’re very busy.”

“I’m not that busy. It’s ok! I know I might give big mama bear vibes, but I’m just trying to help.” Smiling, he sat down on a chair close to your bed and offered you a hot glass with little crystals from the sachet slowly dissolving in the water.

“My mom wouldn’t do all this.”

Staring in the glass and watching the water becoming more and more yellow, you quietly made a couple of gulps, feeling the hot liquid burning your throat - despite feeling terrible from rising temperature, it was... comforting. Seeing someone sitting close to you when you stayed in bed was also strangely pleasant, and you thought you were glad Steve was here - even if he were wrong about Peter and other things.

“Your mom wasn’t bringing you soup when you were sick?” His voice was barely audible, but you still felt guilty talking about it. Well, now you had to do it anyway; it wasn’t nice to be silent when Steve asked you a question.

“Not really. It has always been just a cold, anyway. I didn’t need help, I could always fetch everything myself.” You tried forcing a laugh. “Mom would usually say something like, “go to your room and comfort yourself.” So I did.”

_________

There was an awkward silence again as you saw pity in Steve’s eyes. Oh, now he was pitying you. What a disaster.

Part IX

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic@mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks @teabutnerdy​ @srrymydood​

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Cup

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: a monogrammed mug might be the thing that exposes your relationship with Peter to the Avengers when there’s a strict “no dating” rule being enforced

Warnings: I’m sorry if your first, middle, or last name begins with a “p”. Also this gif is a total spoiler with no context for this story

Masterlist

There was a rule in the Avengers tower: Avengers were absolutely not allowed to date each other. It was a stupid but reasonable rule, considering Nat and Bruce’s relationship had caused fights, tears, and chaos until dating among Avengers was inevitably banned, exactly three years before you and Peter joined the team.

Peter had been an Avenger for eight months before you came along. In that time, he'd become good friends with the other Avengers, or at least that’s what he told Ned. Peter was regarded as more of a son among the Avengers, never really seen as an equal. Before you, Peter was teased daily for his intelligence and bad habit of spewing out scientific facts no body asked for. Whenever he started going off on the theory of momentum or how a star was formed, a collective groan could be heard from Earths mightiest heroes. He would laugh it off and stop telling his fact, but it stung a little more each time it happened. But keep in mind, that was before you. 

You took a breath and entered the elevator. You smoothed your shirt with your hands and folded your lips into your mouth. You were surprisingly nervous, expecting the other Avengers to look down on you for being younger. Just as the elevator doors were about to close, you heard a voice call out.

"Hold the door please." The voice said. They sounded frantic so you quickly stuck your hand in the door so it wouldn't close. To your surprise, a dark haired boy around your age got onto the elevator with you. He was slightly out of breath from running and his curls were going in every direction. You could feel your face heat up and smiled shyly at him. He smiled back.

"Thanks for holding the door." He said once the elevator started going up.

"No problem." You answered. You already had butterflies in your tummy from your new job, and the adorable guy riding in the elevator with you didn't help.

"How come I've never seen you before?" He asked. You were pleasantly surprised that he had kept the conversation going.

"Today's my first day. I'm the newest Avenger.” You explained and he nodded.

"Well it's nice to meet you, newest Avenger." The boy said, extending his hand for you to shake. You prayed your palms weren't sweaty and firmly shook his hand.

"Thanks. And it's Y/n.” You told him. He smiled upon hearing your name as he realized it’s was his new favorite name.

“I’m Peter.” Peter told you. “I’m really glad to see you joining the Avengers. You have no idea how desperately we need more girls on the team. Last week, Nat wasn’t here and Bucky and Sam got tied in a knot. No one could pull them apart until she got back.” Peter blew out a breath as he remembered the incident. “Plus, it’s nice to have someone my age.” He added shyly.

From then on, you loved Peter.

“I’m actually really glad to see you too. I thought all the Avengers were gonna be older than me.” You said with relief. “I’m glad I got to talk to you, Peter. It's nice to have a friend on my first day." You said as you walked out of the elevator together.

"Yeah. Friends." Peter smiled widely.

You did not stay friends long.

The day you joined the team, the Avengers were getting ready to go on a mission involving a creature who liked to hop between earths and cause chaos. You sat quietly in the corner of the quintet and watched everyone interact. You didn’t add anything to the conversation, but laughed and smiled where necessary. You felt pretty invisible but you were okay with that for the time being. It was your first day and you didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes. You were perfectly content with staying silent until Peter started going on about a multiverse.

“I can’t believe there’s actually a multiverse. Ive always read about them, but I never imagined it being real. This means there’s a universe out there where I’m stronger than Captain America.” Peter said excitedly.

“Doubtful.” Steve cut in.

“I mean, can you guys believe this? This creature can just hop to different universes as it pleases.” Peter went on. “I thought that was just theoretical. I mean, that completely changes how we understand the initial singularity. We’re talking about an eternal inflation system. And how does that even work-“

“Peter, you’re doing it again.” Sam sighed.

“Sorry.” Peter shrunk down in his seat, a look of hurt appearing on his face when he noticed the annoyed look on the Avengers faces. You noticed the look too and frowned.

“He does this a lot. You’ll learn to tune it out.” Bucky said to you.

“It’s just really cool. We’re talking about an eternal inflation system. And how does that even work-“ Peter said sheepishly before Sam cut him off.

“Peter! I’m sorry, he’s-“ Sam began the explain.

“Wait.” You cut him off and looked at Peter. “Let him finish.”

“What?” Sam asked.

“What?” Peter asked in confusion, as no one had ever taken interest in him before.

“I want to hear the rest.” You said seriously. “What were you saying Peter?”

“I was just wondering how the multiverse worked with all the quantum realms. This has got to affect the space-time continuum in some way. That’s all.”

“That’s really cool, Peter. You’re really smart.” You said sincerely. You didn’t like the way his intelligence was treated as a nuisance with the other Avengers. You definitely isn’t like the sad look that crossed his face when they told him to stop. You just wanted to make him feel good.

“Thank you.” Peter said, in a little disbelief that you actually cared.

“No problem, Peter.” You smiled.

You ignored the shocked looks from the rest of the Avengers, or maybe you just didn’t see them. You and Peter looked at each other from across the jet and you winked at him.

You found Peter the next day sparing with a hologram. The hologram was much larger than Peter, but Peter was clearly winning the fight. You noticed Peters eyes darting around as he looked like he was figuring something out in his head. You didn’t want to interrupt, but you were too curious not to ask.

“What are you doing, Peter?” You asked him.

“I’m figuring out the momentum of his swings so I can match his force and overpower him even though he’s bigger than me. My mask usually does it but I’m practicing doing it myself incase my mask breaks during a battle.” Peter explained as he continued fighting.

“So you’re doing all that math in your head?” You asked in admiration.

“Yeah. It’s not that hard once you get the hang of it.” Peter shrugged, watching you carefully to see if you were actually interested or just teasing him. “But sometimes I forget to carry the one.”

“And all the Avengers just watch you do this and see it as normal? No one says “wow Peter, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen” or anything?” You wondered.

“Uh, no. Not really.” Peter said.

“Well, Peter.” You laughed. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

From then on, Peter loved you.

Three weeks later, Peter kissed you in the training room when no one else was around. He tasted like Gatorade and mint and heaven.

Six months later, you were in love. You were spending every waking moment together, and by default, loving every waking moment together. There was never a time when he was more than 10 feet away, and that was how you liked it. From sparring to movie dates in Mr. Starks home theater to making burnt cookies for the rest of the Avengers, you were inseparable. The only problem was, you couldn't tell anyone that they were together.

The rule still stood and you worried if anyone found out, you’d be kicked off the team. This lead to secret hand holding under the table and quick kisses when no one was looking. It was an okay system, but it wasn’t great. Peter was dying to tell the other Avengers that he was dating you. All the men on the team had taken quite a liking to you. They were never disrespectful, but your beauty and abilities often came up when you weren’t around and the telling smiles that crossed their faces made Peter a little angry. He knew it wasn't their fault, but he couldn’t shake the jealousy. You were stunning and they had no idea you were taken. If the guys knew you were his girlfriend, they'd back off immediately. But, no one was allowed to know.

One hectic morning, your alarm didn't wake you up. You’d never actually set your alarm, because you’d fallen asleep in Peters bed while watching a movie together. You were still at his apartment at 7:13 when you had to be at the tower at 7:30 for a meeting. Peter was nowhere to be found, and you assumed he let you sleep because he thought your alarm was set. You rushed to get ready, grabbing whatever shirt you could find, which happened to be one of Peters button downs, and threw on some pants. Rushing into the kitchen, you found Peter with two cups of coffee already made and a small smile on his face. You sighed in relief that he was all ready to go and gave him a kiss, longer than you were accustomed too since no one was around. You grabbed your cup of coffee and headed out.

Once in the tower, you sat at the conference table and took a deep breath. You had gotten to the meeting on time, walking in a few minutes after each other so it wouldn't be suspicious. You took a big sip of your coffee when something caught your eye. Specifically, the giant red "P” on the front on the cup.

Luckily, Peter was sitting directly across from you. You snapped your fingers harshly to get his attention. Peter looked up at you and smiled, his smile quickly fading when he saw your angry expression.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You said nothing, instead, just held up your cup. Peter grimaced when he realized his mistake.

“Oops. Just trade cups with me. It's fine." He assured you. You quickly switched cups and you relaxed as the other Avengers walked in.

"Did you hear from Bruce? I think he said he was gonna be late.” Peter asked you to look like you were having a normal, platonic, conversation.

"I don’t think so. I’ll check if he texted- Oh God you freaking idiot." You deadpanned the last part as you stared at your cup.

"What? What's wrong now?" Peter asked, confused by your seemingly uncalled for insult. You again said nothing, but just held up your cup. This time, there was an even bigger, purple "P” on the front. Peter bit his lip.

"Oops." He repeated. “Nice shirt, by the way.” He smirked. You looked down and realized you were wearing his shirt in addition to drinking from his cup. Your day could not get any worse.

"Oops? Is that all you have to say?" You asked in a harsh whisper.

“Y/n, its fine. No ones gonna notice." Peter said calmly.

"You think they won't notice the giant purple "P” on my cup? My name is Y/n L/n. There's no "P” in that!" You exclaimed. You continuously checked to see if anyone was listening as you scolded Peter.

"You can say the “P” is for your middle name." Peter suggested as he took a sip of his coffee from your matching cups.

"My middle name is Y/m/n.” You whined, knowing his plan wouldn’t work.

"Really? That's so pretty." Peter said with delighted surprise.

"That's not the point, Peter.” You groaned. “The point is, if I'm caught drinking from a cup that has an initial other than my own, namely your initial, people are gonna get suspicious."

“Or, consider this. Close your eyes, manifest with me.” Peter said as he shut his eyes. “No one will care."

"I'm already wearing your shirt, which means I smell like your cologne. Now, I have a cup with your initial on it. Someone is gonna put two and two together." You panicked.

"Or, consider this, really manifest with me this time. I didn’t see you manifest before, no one will care." He said again with an innocent smile.

"Why couldn't you given me any other cup? And why do you own so many monogrammed cups?" You inquired.

"You're blowing this out of proportion. It's no big deal. No one will even notice." Peter repeated. You wondered how he was so calm when your jobs were at stake.

"Hey, Y/n. What's that “P” stand for on your cup?" Tony asked as soon as he entered the room. You shot Peter a look that made him shrink into his seat.

"Who cares? No one will notice! It’s just a cup! No need to get jazzed up about it.” You said sarcastically, catching the attention of the other Avengers.

"Oh, I'm the one who's jazzed? You're freaking out over a cup." Peter retorted, in full volume now.

"Speaking of the cup, why is there a “P” on it?" Sam asked, pointing the cup out so everyone could see it. You couldn’t help the loud groan that escaped your mouth.

"It stands for panda.” Peter blurted. “Y/n loves pandas.” You looked at Peter with a lethal glare.

"Why wouldn't you just buy a cup with a panda on it?” Bucky chimed in. You shrugged and looked at Peter.

"That's a great question, James. Peter, why don't you answer?" You said with a fake smile.

"Because Y/n likes to be unique." Peter explained meekly.

"Does the "P” on your cup also stand for panda?” Sam asked Peter. Peter looked down at his cup and sighed.

"It sure does". He said weakly.

"Interesting. I would've guessed the "P” stood for “Peter” or “Parker”, since you two are clearly dating. But I guess I was wrong." Sam shrugged casually as you and Peter froze.

"You know that we're dating?" You asked in shock.

"The whole team knows.” Steve cut in as if it were obvious. You looked around the room and everyone just shrugged as of to confirm Steve’s words.

"But what about the rule?" Peter asked, dumbfounded.

"That rule hasn't been effective for months. I stopped enforcing it last January.” Tony laughed as he took his seat at the head of the table.

"What? How come no one told us?" You asked.

"Because if you knew, there'd be non-stop PDA and none of us wanted that." Nat answered.

“So you let us think we were keeping it a secret for six months?” Peter demanded.

“Secret? Did you think none of us noticed that Peter became left handed six months ago so he could hold your hand with his right one under the table?” Tony pointed out.

“We all knew, we just didn’t care. We’re happy for you guys.” Steve smiled again you.

“Oh.” You said. “Thanks guys.”

“You’re welcome.” Tony answered. “Just keep the PDA to a minimum. I don’t want any spider babies around running here.”

Seven years later, you and Peter were married just a few miles from the Avengers tower.

After the ceremony, you sat in the kitchen while Peter finished bringing in the wedding gifts.

“I have one last gift for you, Mrs. Parker.” Peter came from behind you and kissed your cheek, setting a small gift box down on the table in front of you. You opened it up, finding a mug with a script “P” on the front. You laughed at the sight, remembering the incident in the conference room all those years ago.

“There. Now you do have a “P” initial. You can use this with no questions asked.” Peter said with pride.

“I love it.” You told him honestly. You smiled and made some coffee, just so you could use your new cup.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona​ @foreverxholland​ @writing-for-hours-on-end​ @lavender-writer​ @captainmandeestudent17​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @takenbyheartstrings​ @ultrunning​ @imyourliquor-youremypoison​ @theolwebshooter​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @guksmyfav​ @waiting-to-be-myself​ @letsloveimagines​  @peterparkoure​ @a-villain-vying-for-attention​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @jackiehollanderr​ @tiny-friggin-human​ @celestial-skylines​ @loveat2am​ @mara-twins​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @delicately-important-trash​ @mjspxrker @spideygirl2003​ @the-crazy-fanfictionist​ @kii-mii​ @maryjanee23​ @spacebitch2​ @vgiselle​ @geeksareunique​

[angleicblossom]

Levi Ackerman One shot <3

im so so so sorry its this long i got totally carried away 

More soft Levi x sad oc because I feel the need to project my own feelings into a situation that will never really happen 😊.

Another day of training finished at around 7pm, I slowly made my way into the mess hall to have a meal before heading to bed, not like I was very hungry anyways.

These last few weeks, maybe months, I hadn't been feeling myself, not like I was a very outgoing person to begin with, but I at least tried to socialise with the others but now it feels like a chore so now I don’t even bother, I just wake up go through with my day, eat if I can and then sleep and recently it's been making me frustrated with myself causing me to snap more than I usually do during training and I think people are starting to notice.

As one of the first I was able to grab a plate with food on it quickly and slide into the end of one of the benches in the bottom corner. I picked around at the meat, vegetables and potatoes moving it around a little, not really having an appetite. A few people slid into bench alongside me and in front of me, it was Hange, Erwin, Eren and Captain Levi, they made small talk around me, I didn’t pay much attention to them and then I decided to get rid of my untouched food.

“Oi, where do you think you are going Kasey?” Levi voices called out and stopped me in my tracks and look back at him but avoiding his eye contact that he was sternly holding with me “I'm... uh not feeling the best” is all I could muster up as an excuse “well maybe if you ate a little you would feel better, you can't sleep on an empty stomach, right Hange” Commander Erwin commented and Hange nodded along spooning meat into her mouth, I sigh internally but put on a smile and nod whilst making my way back to the corner to wait them out but Levi grabs my wrist causing me to pull and resist a little on instinct but he ignores it “Eren move down so Kasey can sit next to me” Levi ordered and Eren tilts his head but moves anyways “can’t have a solider skipping meals” he says bluntly and nods his head towards the plate and so I sit down next to Levi, a little too close to the point of our thighs touching but he doesn’t seem fazed by it and continues eating his half eaten food along with the others, I can still wait them out.

I poke around it some more and eat small bites of the vegetables for another 10 minutes and by then it was only me and Levi left at the table, he lets out a loud sigh next to me and pushes his plate away from him and takes a sip of his tea “are you really not going to eat that” he turned his face to me and look at me then the plate with furrowed eyebrows and I just shrugged “ Captain, I don’t feel too-” “yeah yeah you don’t feel good, of course” he rolled his eyes and didn’t even let me finish making a bit of guilt fill me, he was only looking out for me “anyway your dismissed I hope to see you eat more” I nodded and never moved quicker to get out of the mess hall with Levi’s stare burning me in the back.

I made it to my room which I thankfully didn’t share with anyone, I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt and undid all my straps and took them off to try feel a bit more relaxed, I took a long shower I think I was in there for about 25 minutes maybe more and I changed into a tank top and some shorts due to the summer heat that was creeping up on us. I brushed out my damp hair so there were no knots after doing this it was around 9pm and I was now laying on my bed staring at the ceiling when I suddenly heard a knock at my door making me snap my head towards the door and then it began to open.

“Who is it” I say, trying to see the person entre “Its Levi” He answers as he continues to push the door open with his foot because his hands were holding two cups of tea? I rush up to help him and open the door then close it behind him “is everything okay, Captain?” he just looks me up and down, nods and carefully sets one of the cups of tea on my nightstand next to my bed and then takes a seat on a spare chair at the end of my single bed. I felt a little awkward seeing him like this, he had a black long sleeved fitting top on, and some black sweatpants and he came here in his socks too, I looked around the room not keeping my focus on him “the tea is for you” he nods towards it and takes a sip of his own “I added some tea herbs that go well with the black tea that helps to calm you” He continued on and it was sort of...cute hearing him talk about something other than killing titans or anything titan related really, I smiled lightly and took the tea in my hand and took a sip, testing it out I had never had black tea never mind herbs.

I can feel Levi watching me intently as I remove the cup from my lips carefully “do you like it” I thought about it for a few moments, it was a little bitter with a tint of citrus to it as well “I like it, Ive never tasted something like this” I shift my eyes to him and take another drink before sitting it down and Levi keeps his in his lap, holding it in his unusual way. I was still confused on why he was here, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to tell me, I looked at him again and he was looking down into his teacup and swirling the tea around “I think I was a little harsh on you or maybe too blunt” he says out randomly and I'm shocked by him expressing this to me “oh no Captain please-” he cut me off again “just call me Levi there’s no need for the formalities, I've been watching you here and there during training and noticed how you aren’t doing as well as you used to do” so someone did notice, but Levi was the last person I would expect to notice a random cadet feeling blue about her life, I didn’t know how to answer him so I just looked down at my bare legs in front of me and he lets out a small sigh and piches his nose “Look.. I’m.... worried about you Kasey” after he said this, I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and try to hide it with my hair and grab the teacup and drink some more of the tea to distract myself, he coughs a little and shuffles around “I don’t want you to get injured or injure yourself if you aren’t looking after yourself here”.

He gets up and makes his way to sit next me on the bed and moves my hair from my face to behind my ear and I move my face away from his hand quickly after this and furrow my eyebrows “Kasey...” “sorry I'm just not used to being touched” he was quick to answer “don't apologise” I just nodded “are you.. Enjoying yourself being a cadet, Kasey?” this question makes me look up at him and he continues “is it that you don’t want to be here anymore? Are you regretting your decision picking the scouts?” he questioned, sounding a bit sad and I bite my lip, it's not that I don’t enjoy it I just don’t know how to, I fiddle with my fingers not knowing how to answer him “don't stay silent, I want to help you”  

I look at him with tears starting to swell up in my eyes, but I don’t let them fall out of my eyes “it’s...it’s not that, Levi I, I can’t feel anything good, I never feel happiness or relief or anything after I finish my training, I... I can't even talk to anyone because I don’t know how or what to say and it feels so exhausting even trying to interact with others, all I would do is let them down, there’s just nothing for me here... or anywhere, sometimes I wish to disappear, so I don’t have to live like this, I want to be able to feel all the good emotions but it's like... they just don’t exist inside me anymore and I don’t know how to get them back and I feel so alone here like no one understands this and I can't explain how I feel it's not like I should be this sad right? but I can tell you... I don’t regret joining the scouts” I put my face into hands and let tears out and I try to stifle my cries “H-how can I help you Kasey” he leans into me, I wipe my eyes and sit up straight and look into his eyes, why is he here.  

Without thinking I put my head into his lap and fling my legs up onto my pillow so I'm lying on my side staring at the door, I lay my hands on his knees and he tenses up a little “just... stay here with me, Levi?” I ask more than say and I feel him stretch over me to set him teacup next to mine and sit upright again and he starts to run his hands from the top of my scalp to the bottom of my almost dry hair “okay... I will” I sigh with a bit of comfort knowing I won't be alone, for tonight at least, “Levi... why did you come?” his hands pause for a moment then returns to their actions “Honestly, I'm not sure, I just had a feeling I had to come see you, but I must admit Kasey... I've always been a bit more than... interested in you and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression since we’ve only spoken a few times” I went wide eyed for a moment, more than interested? What did that mean? I didn’t give him an answer only feeling a bit of surprise hearing this from the Captain, I sit up and look at his lips then his eyes “what do you think of me, Kasey?” I didn’t know how to answer or what I wanted to say to him.

I lean in and close my eyes and Levi’s hand snakes up to cup my cheek and our lips touch and I furrow my eyebrows and lean in more, putting one of my hands on his lap and another on his chest. Levi begins to take the lead of the kiss a little more, tilting his head and with his other hand he pushed my hair away from my shoulder, I try lean in even more and Levi pulls away “you were almost pushing me over” he let out a small breathless laugh and rubbed his hair, I blush at how in the moment I got, and I mumble a sorry to him and catch my breath whilst looking at my lap, I look back up at Levi and he’s already looking at me, “what was that for?” I nibbled on my lip again and looked away to the side “I didn’t know what to say” Levi grinned a little “I’m glad we’re feeling the same way... sort of... don’t worry, I might not be able to bring your emotions back per say but... I can try show you that no one wants you to disappear and that you are never alone” he ducked down to look into my eyes that I was avoiding “okay?” He reached for my hand and lay his on top of mine and I blushed again “okay” I whispered back with a smile.

“it’s pretty late, aren't you tired?” I shrug and fumble with my fingers “a little, are you?” “a little” he replied back “that single bed looks a little cramped for the both of us, would you like to come back to my room?.... you don’t have to” “that would be nice” I answered without a second thought on that, sharing a double bed with Levi? Yes please.  

We both head out down the very quiet, cold and dimly lit corridors, turning right once and left once a few moments after the right turn before reaching Levi’s office, I've been in his office many times delivering notes and other things that Hange wanted to give him but always sent me, he opens the door and lets me walk in first then comes in after then closes and locks the door “this way” he says and takes me to another door that is where his bedroom must be. When I entre there is a big double bed with white silk sheets and a wooden headboard in the middle of the room “come on” he says quietly and opens the sheets for me to hop into the left side, I quickly snuggle into the sheets and bring them up to my nose, the smell of Levi surrounding me, he goes around and takes off his top, I couldn’t help but watch his back muscles move as he done the action I blush a little and look up at him once he turned around and gets into the bed with me and I suddenly feel a lot warmer than I already was “are you okay with this?” he whispered “yes” I whisper back and giggle a little at our hushed tone “good” he moves towards me and pulls me into him, and I let him, totally indulged in his warmth and scent, he rests his head on my head  with his arms wrapped around me  “get some sleep” “you too” I say and put my scrunched up hands on his chest and place a small kiss in the middle of his chest and drift to sleep

[cunningambitousdetermined]

i need a plot for this

yall so ive been trying really hard to get back into writing and i went to a writing camp this summer. im going to post a poem that i wrote there later bc im super proud of it but right now i have something else i need help with. SO basically there was a prompt about someone finding a letter or a note. that’s the prompt. so i wrote something, really liked it BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO TAKE IT FROM HERE. my basic ideas involve the two characters meeting each other again to do SOMETHING WHICH I DONT KNOW and slowly arcane (youll see when you read the story below) thaws and falls in love with kalon and kalon has always been in love with her and its like best friends to enemies to friends to lovers ya know? ANYWAY if you dont hate me for being inactive and needy, please read this and help me. 

Dear Arcane,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 10 years. Wow. I don’t even know if you’ll ever get this, you could’ve moved. You could be dead. Oh god, that’s dark. You’re not dead, someone would’ve told me, I’m sure. So that must mean that there’s a good chance you have this, but I’m not even sure if you’ll read it.

He was right, as he most often was. Arcane had not planned to read the letter from the moment she read her name on the envelope, written in a neat sort of messy handwriting that could only come from one person. The letter had been sitting at her desk for a week before memories began to drown her and she knew she had to open it.

That’s not the point though, I’m sure you’ll read this. You’ve always been a sucker for the intimacy of written letters. Maybe that’s why I wrote to you instead of calling.

Arcane closed her eyes, the pounding of the memories at the door slowly consuming her. She took a deep breath and let them in. The whispers started to fill the room, every word echoing off the walls, like her past had become a living, breathing thing in her room. How could he write her now? After all these years. Anger reared it's small head in the back of her mind. How could he be so casual as if he wasn't the boy who ripped her heart out and tore it to pieces. 

Maybe it’s because I did read all the letters you wrote to me. Even after the voicemails stopped filling my phone and the emails ran dry, your letters kept coming.

She remembers writing those letters, the pen shaking in her hand as it hit the paper. She remembers wondering what you said to someone like him, a friend who left you behind. The squeeze in her chest that tightened each time he didn’t reply. The break in her heart when the last letter she ever wrote was returned to her doorstep.

If you’ve read this far without tearing my letter to pieces, then I would say this is a good start to our reunion. I’ve missed you. Your stubborn ways, always trying to keep me safe. But you always came with me wherever I went anyway. I miss your secret smile, the one you saved just for me. The treehouse we built in your yard. Do you miss that? I wonder if you wonder about me. I wonder if I can even ask that of you.

She did miss them. But, those things that she missed were long gone. The treehouse was overgrown with vines, Arcane was sure you couldn’t even get into it anymore. She went with him on his stupid adventures because what would she do if he left and met new people? He would leave her and she would be alone. So she desperately followed him blindly, hoping it would keep him close. Arcane missed her secret smile, the genuine one she had always saved for him. He missed it. How could he miss something that he destroyed. With his one and only letter to her, he demolished any leftover love for him that hid in her heart. He couldn’t ask if Arcane wondered about him. That wasn’t fair. That night, ten years ago, was still a raw wound in her soul that she was pretty sure would never heal.

~

The rain was relentless that night, banging against every edge of the house, but a little girl was waiting by the door, not even flinching as the lightning and thunder clapped furiously. Arcane peeked her head above the window frame to find the mailman running through the storm, his frantic steps pounding through the floor of the house. Her eyes lit up with a hope that was slowly fading with each mail drop. She opened the door and hid the small smile that started to spread up her face with a cough.

“Hi, Dan!” Arcane’s voice gave away the excitement that was flooding her system.

“Hey, Arcane.” Dan couldn’t help the pitiful grin that he gave her. She waited by the door for him every day and each day there was no letter for her. It must be soul-crushing, he thought, waiting for a letter that never comes.

“Is there…?” Arcane was practically on her tiptoes at this point. Dan rifled through the letters, dread settling as her name wasn’t there. Again. And then there was a squeal. “Oh, Dan! I found it! I knew- I knew it- I told them!” Her sentences didn’t even come out fully as she beamed, her smile brighter than any ray of the sun.

Arcane had run into the house, a breeze following in her wake. Plopping down into the soft plush couch, she ripped open the envelope, not caring about the paper that flew everywhere in the room. A paper fluttered out, floating toward the ground. Arcane grabbed it, hands shaking, she could practically feel the sweat dripping down her face. Words were the easiest way to break someone. The letter only contained eleven words, yet they would stick with her for the rest of her life.

Stop writing me. None of it was real. You were nothing.

Eleven words. And they shattered her. Crumbling, shattering, a million pieces breaking. Sobs racked through her whole body, her chest shaking and trembling with each broken breath. She caught her face in the mirror hanging off the pale wall and didn’t recognize the girl that stared back. You were nothing. A scream tore through her, the ache of her heart so raw that even the sun seemed to cry, rain dripping onto the panes of the windows. And slowly, so very slowly, Arcane buried the ache and gathered the shattered pieces of her heart and encased them in an impenetrable cage, never to opened again.

~

The ache was still present now, ten years after the letter had arrived. The dullness of her buried hurt made her clench her fists around the letter that sat in her hand now, the same lopsided handwriting adorning it.

But, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this with an actual purpose, if you can imagine that. I didn't just write to rehash our friendship. 

Arcane could feel her eyes narrowing, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the inanimate piece of paper. An actual purpose? To break her heart all over again? This time she did roll her eyes, even though no one was there to see it. But, it wasn’t the fact that he wrote her after all these years or that his tone was friendly throughout that made her body freeze. It was the last line that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention.

In all the years that Arcane had known him, he'd never been very dependent. He often just struggled in silence and figured them out on his own. Not once, not ever, had has asked for help. But, there the sentence was inked in his slanted, loopy writing. 

I need your help.

Love,

Kalon

  ~~everything below here is stuff that doesnt have to be a part of the story but i still liked it and where it was going (idk please give me ideas)~~

The quiet, shock of the room seemed to weigh on Arcane. She flopped back onto her bed, the soft pillows cushioning her landing. I need your help. Those few, simple words, tugged at the strings that bound her heart. He needed her. The thought was fleeting as just as quickly as it came, it left. In its spot was anger. Now he needed her? After all those years when she needed him? What did he do then? Nothing. And that’s what she was going to do now. She huffed in satisfaction, tossing the envelope to the side. Her fingers reached into her hair, massaging her head. There were too many things to think about right now. Arcane squeezed her eyes shut as memories stung her eyes in the form of tears. 

~

“Please, don’t leave me.” Arcane had whispered, her small breaths filling the one room of the treehouse. 

“I don’t have a choice. You know I don’t want to go.” Kalon’s voice broke and he looked away so Arcane couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. It was silent. 

“We’ll still be best friends right?” 

“Yeah.” Kalon’s reply didn’t hold much conviction, causing Arcane to look over at him, confused, glossy eyes narrowing. 

“To the moon and back, Kal, remember?” She said, her tone desperate. It was a promise they made one night as they were watching some cheesy movie on the old television set. The boy had told the girl that he loved her too ‘the moon and back’. Kalon had then explained that the two characters said that so that they would never be apart. They could meet at the same moon, always and then they could go back. And then, they would never be fully apart. Arcane had liked that. So naturally,  she had grabbed Kal’s face and made him promise that they would go ‘to the moon and back’ if they were ever apart. It became a goodbye for them, a way of saying ‘I’ll see you soon’. 

“Yeah,” Kal had replied, a smile barely curling through his lips, “I’ll race ya there.”

~

She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, letting her memories flow down her cheeks and into the bedsheets, but eventually she had to get up. She pulled herself up and off the bed, limbs protesting at the use. She just needed a few days is all, then she wouldn’t even remember what she was crying for.  Kalon didn’t mean anything to her anymore.

thank you for reading this far, i love all of you. just throw out ideas please. or give me some advice, i would love that. whether its about my writing or the plot i would love to have tips and constructive criticism on how to get better! tagging some moots who i hope dont hate me after this below the cut:

@natashxromanovf @pad-foots @griffxnnage @voidmalfoy @flxss-bxbblxs @alwaysreading @herondalesunsetcurve THANKS YALL I LOVE YOU MORE THEN I EXPRESS AND I DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DESERVE ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVE

[pietropatrol]

Breaking the One Damn Rule (Part 11)

Read Part 10

A/N: Happy Fic Friday! Two weeks in a row! It’s also my birthday tomorrow and will hopefully be celebrating with a charcuterie/cheese board and wine!  

Sure, you’re 100% down with having Pietro Maximoff’s baby—you couldn’t imagine anyone else fathering your children. But neither of you planned for this, you’re not even supposed to be together according to the Avengers. Finding out while Pietro was away on a mission was bad enough and now telling him during an attack, with your future family in danger, was not what you had in mind; and this is exactly why they forbid Pietro from having serious relationships in the first place. Whoops.  

Pairing: Pietro x Reader

Warning: Kidnapping children, trauma, language

Words: 1,500ish

The skies had opened up over the city of New York City that early evening and never let up. An even bigger storm brewing behind the horizon of skyscrapers. Rain pelted against your window as a streak of lightning lit up your dim hospital room, followed by a sharp clap of thunder. Sharp enough to wake the dead.

Sharp enough to wake you from your comatose state.

Your eyelids felt like they had been glued together. When you opened them, they were out of focus and it took a moment for your eyes to adjust. Where were you? Where was Pietro?

Flowers covered every open counter space and a dozen of assorted baskets littered the floor. There was one that contained muffins and your stomach growled at the sight.

Your hand strayed down to your abdomen to rub your bump and it never reached one. Your stomach, though not as flat as it had been prior to pregnancy, was flat. All of a sudden it became hard to breathe and something was beeping in the distance.

What had happened? Where was Pietro? Where was your baby? When you tried to sit up it, a tube stopped you from ripping your blanket off.

You looked down at your hands to see an IV and a pulse oximeter. You were in the hospital? How long had you been here?

It didn’t matter, you had to get out. You had to get to Pietro and your baby. Your baby had to be with him, and safe, right? You ripped out the offending tubing, and swung your legs off the side of the bed, and pushed off.

The door to your room opened and your gaze met the familiar fatherly face of one Clint Barton.

“Y/N!” Clint dropped the cup of coffee in his hand and rushed over as you began to teeter. “You’re awake!”

“Where’s my baby?” Your voice was low and shaking, you could barely hear yourself. As if you were already afraid that you knew the answer.

“Please lay back down, Y/N. You’re looking a bit pale.” Clint tried to guide you back to the bed.

You jerked your arms away, leaving a smear of blood on Clint’s arm.  “No! Tell me, Clint.”

“Only if you get back in bed.” Clint saw the manic look in your eyes and was afraid that if he said anything you would fall apart before him.

You lowered yourself onto the edge of your bed. Your baby had to be with Pietro. That could be the only possibility.

Clint gently pushed your back into the bed, covering you back up with the blanket. He swung a chair next to your bed and took a deep breath. “Y/N, what’s the last thing you remember?”

Your memory was murky and you tried to grasp onto any piece of memory. “Hydra attacking the restaurant. I fired Tony’s repulsor hoping to cause enough of a distraction.”

“Y/N,” Clint took your hand, “You’ve been comatose for almost a month.”

“A month?” you echoed back, “I’ve missed that much time? How’s Pietro handling being a dad on his own?”

Clint took a deep breath. He did not want to be the one to tell you, but Pietro and Wanda were across the world if he had to guess, which left him as the next person in line to tell you. “Y/N, we found you… alone. Hydra left you to die, Pietro found you just in time.”

“By alone you mean…”  Your voice caught in your throat.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Pietro and Wanda are out looking for them right now. As soon as you stabilized, they started following any lead they could. Last we heard they were in Nepal. I will have Nat send out a message that you woke up.” Clint squeezed your hand. “I can’t even imagine what your feeling right now, but we’re all here for you and they’re going to find them. Pietro and Wanda are strong on their own as is, but together and out for vengeance, they are unstoppable. When we first met them, when they were under Hydra, they gave us a run for our money. They also took Vision with them.”

“When you say looking for them—”

“It was twins, we don’t know how to explain it. Wanda saw it in your head.”

You swallowed the tightness in your throat. “I’ll take your word for it.” The hollow chuckle that bubbled out of you terrified Clint. “Clint?”

“Yes?”

“I want you and Nat to train me. I’m not going to sit idly by.”

Clint saw the spark of anger in your eyes and the determination set in your jaws. He wasn’t sure how to react. He could handle crying, but this was rage brewing. Much like your other half, he assumed you were a force to reckoned with when provoked. “You need to heal before anything.”

That would buy him some time. Pietro should be able to get back to you before then. Clint wouldn’t dare do anything to piss Pietro off and letting you hurt yourself would definitely do it.

“Heal?” You questioned.

Clint gave you a perplexed look. “Y/N, you were cut open.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” You didn’t feel any pain.

“Maybe it’s the shock?”

You pressed your lower abdomen. “I had my appendix taken out in college, and that hurt. Now… now I feel nothing.”

“Um, I’m going to get your nurse.” Clint shot off the chair and out the door.

****

The moment Pietro received word you had woken up he made plans to get back to you. Wanda wanted to come too, but Pietro wanted her to keep looking for the twins. They were in deep, trying to find Hydra hideouts and it had taken almost three weeks for Pietro to get Nat’s message.

He practically ran back to you, save for the ocean he had to get over. He took one flight and started running as soon he got out of the terminal.

Pietro had prepared to see you broken and inconsolable. Steve was waiting by the elevator as Pietro arrived. “Cap?”

“Welcome back, anything?”

“Nope, look I’d love to chat, but I need to get to Y/N.” Pietro turned to walk down the hallway to your room, but Steve stopped him.

“She’s not in her room. Come with me.” Steve lead Pietro back to the elevator and to the 15th floor.

“Why is she on the training floor?” Pietro’s jaw tightened. He thought he had left you in good hands. “She should be resting.”

“You can bring that up with her. We tried.” Steve pulled him over to one of the simulation mazes.

Pietro looked at the tracking monitors to see you suited up, working your way through the maze with Clint and Nat. “Are you fucking crazy?! Get her out of there!”

“This isn’t her first go.” Steve motioned to the hologram with your stats. Not as good as Clint and Nat’s, obviously, but you had excellent marksmanship and your hand to hand combat was ranked above Tony’s out of the suit. “You’re free to end the simulation—”

Pietro slammed his hand on the stop button and glared at Steve. “I am not happy about this.”

“Clearly.” Steve grimaced.

The lights went on in the simulation maze. Making it hard to see, you had been doing a night test. “Steve, what the fu—”

“Draga!” That voice made your heart skip a beat. You didn’t even see him coming. In a split second, you were in his arms being squeezed tightly. Your face nestled into his chest.

“Piet.” You melted into him, having to bury your tears deeper and deeper. Now was not the time.

“You should be resting,” he softly growled in your ear.

“I missed you too,” you whispered back.

Pietro let go after a lingering kiss to your temple as he breathed you in again. “Seriously, explain. Clint, I put you in charge of her care, and I come home to find she’s been simulating?”

“Pietro, don’t be mad. I begged.” You finally got a good look at him. He was rougher around the edges and he had grown a slight beard. If it hadn’t been caused by your current circumstances, you would have dwelled longer on how ruggedly handsome he looked.

“Oh, that makes it so much better.” Pietro gave you a look. “You need to be taking it easy.”

“I’m fully healed and I’m not going to get hurt,” you countered.

“The last time I saw you, you were on death’s doorstep. It can happen again. It will happen again if you try to get involved with this.” The pain was evident in Pietro’s eyes. He had spent so much time trying to block out the image of you basically lifeless. It would haunt him forever.

“Seriously, I can’t get hurt.” You pulled out a small dagger from your thigh holster and ran it across your palm before Pietro could figure out what you were doing.

“Draga!” He made to grab your wrist, but you turned away. Crimson pooled in your cupped hand for a moment and you wiped it away on your pant leg to reveal no wound.

Pietro grabbed your hand to examine it closely. “What the hell?”

****

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[stxrrywildflower]

home

pairing - spencer reid x reader

warning - mentions of blood and other injuries, faint ptsd

summary - you go on an undercover mission after orders from strauss. two months later, you return

word count - ?

you stepped into a bau while sighing softly to yourself. it was a normal day for everyone else but for you, it would be your last day at work for a least a month.

close to three weeks ago, strauss had called you and hotch into a meeting. while leaving, you glanced at your team who all displayed nervous expressions. usually meetings with strauss were never good. one walking in, you noticed two men. one about hotch’s age and one around your age.

“strauss,” you greeted with a handshake as hotch did the same.

“agents y/l/n and hotchner, this is agent daniel cruz and section chief newman from our san francisco branch. please, take a seat,” she introduced. you and hotch glanced at eachother before taking a seat.

“i have been in contact with various section chiefs about a possible human trafficking ring out west. we aren’t sure how large of an operation is occurring but we need to put a stop to it. not before we get the proper evidence, however,” strauss informed.

“ma’am with all due respect, yes that is a very serious issue but how does this involve us?” you asked timidly.

strauss looked over at you. “well agent y/l/n, hotchner is your superior which is why we need him present. as for you, chief newmen and i have decided to put you and agent cruz as undercover agents out on one of the suspected farms in wyoming.” this hit you hard. an undercover mission? we’re you even prepared for that?

hotch opened his mouth to speak but was cut off. “ah agent hotchner, this has already been decided. y/n and daniel fit the part the best due to their young looks. we are trying to keep this as quiet as possible so try not to let it out.”

and with that, you and hotch stepped out of the room and went back into the bullpen. over the course of the three weeks, you had gotten to know daniel or danny better. he was married with a young daughter and was stationed in san francisco. you also learned your part and trained. you were a college student who was studying sciences and were taking a semester to go study out west on a farm surrounded by various forms of plants and animals. that way you could get close to the family and see what was happening.

one night you were with spencer at his apartment with the intention of spending the night. he wasn’t sure why you had been so closed off but had his suspicions. you on the other hand had wanted to spend time with him before you left.

“alright what’s going on,” spencer spoke as he shut off the tv and turned to you. you just stared at him confused. he gave you one more look and you caved.

“strauss assigned me a case. i leave in a week and a half but i can’t talk about the specific details,” you revealed. spencer nodded, suddenly understanding. you were then pulled into a tight hug. “let’s just savor the time we have together,” he mumbled.

the memory made you smile to yourself as you stepped through the glass doors and into the bullpen. “woah, new haircut? hotch isn’t going to like that,” you heard morgan’s voice coming from behind you. once turning around, to see morgan. behind him were j.j. and emily making coffee, each displaying a shocked expression.

“not by choice,” you grimaced, subconsciously going up to touch your hair. it’s true, in order to look the part, you had cut your hair to a bit above shoulder length, gave yourself a middle part, and dyed it pastel pink. strauss had told you it was ‘perfect for the part’ and dismissed you.

after that quick conversation, you made your way up to hotch’s office, not before glancing over to spencer who gave you a resuring smile. you knocked slightly on the closed door of hotch’s office. after hearing a faint “come in!” you opened the door. inside was hotch and rossi going over a case file.

“oh i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt. hotch, do you have it?” you asked.

hotch nodded before moving to reach under his desk and pull out a box. rossi’s eyes widened. “you’re going undercover?” he asked. you and hotch looked over at him after you were given the box. “how’d you know?”

“all agents who ever go undercover have to put their stuff in a box just like that one. i’ve seen quite a few,” rossi exclaimed. “i leave in an hour,” you informed him.

“good luck kiddo, see you soon,” rossi smiled before grabbing the files and stepping out of the office and into his own.

“so this is goodbye?” you asked hotch, a sad undertone to your words. hotch nodded slightly. “well it’s not a goodbye because you are coming back but technically this is the official goodbye. i will see you off to the airport though,” he informed.

you placed the box down on the seat and frowned. hotch had practically become a father figure in your life and despite your knowledge of life, as cliche as it sounded, he always taugh you more. “hug goodbye?” you whispered, tears slightly forming in your eyes. hotch stepped from around your desk and pulled you into a hug.

“i’ll inform the team of your whereabouts after you leave. but know that this isn’t goodbye y/n, i fully expect to see you back in that conference room sometime soon,” hotch spoke after stepping away. you grabbed the box, smiled once more, and moved out of the office and over to your desk.

after sitting across from spencer, you ignored the stairs from your team members and focused on your boyfriend across from you. “hey,” you said, starting a conversation. “hey,” spencer replied. he knew you were leaving today and would need to pack up.

you looked away and began placing the essential items in the box. your desk was to stay the way it was but certain items would need to remain in hotch’s office.

first was your cellphone. on the farm you would have no contact via phone but would be able to send at max, two letters. second was your main gun that rested on your hip and your secondary gun that was for emergencies. those went into the box with extra care. finally was your badge. obviously this host family would have to believe that you and danny were only college students and not undercover fbi agents. after bringing the box to hotch, who met you halfway, you sat back at your desk and started a conversation with spencer, trying to calm your nerves.

time flew by and it was time to leave. hotch stepped into the bullpen and looked in your direction. “ready to go?” he asked. you nodded, glancing around at your teammates, smiling slightly at each of them. before following hotch to the car, you walked over to spencer and kissed him gently on the lips, ignoring morgan’s whistles in the background.

“i love you,” you whispered in his ear.

“i love you more,” he replied.

you stepped away and began to follow hotch, not looking back. your suitcase of clothes and backpack filled with various textbooks and other notebooks was already in the car. stepping into the cool d.c. air, you glanced around one more time at the bau building. you were ready.

_______

the mission was a success. you and danny had spent your time in wyoming, mainly couped up in your shared room but also doing ‘work’ on the farm.

while the expected time was only supposed to be a month, towards the end the family got suspicious. this resulted in you both being cut off from sending letters and forced to stay another month. a month away from home turned into two which killed you.

the family was arrested and the ring was put to a stop. you and danny had packed up and went to the airport. he would be flying back to california to be checked out and see his family while you were going back to d.c. the two of you hugged goodbye before boarding your separate flights. you two promised to stay in constant contact.

landing home at 2am didn’t help your exhaustion both physically and mentally. immediately after landing, you were taken to a hospital. the various cuts and bruises on your body were treated as well as your broken ribs and injured knee. an iv with nutrients was placed in your arm to repair your  malnourished state. you had also passed out for 10 hours. once waking up, you were cleared to go. an agent who worked with strauss came to pick you up and bring you to the bau where you could finally see your team.

in order to go in, you had to be finger printed as a result of not having your badge. it didn’t help that you didn’t look like yourself at all. however, you went through security and into an elevator which would take you to the sixth floor.

the first one you encountered was hotch. he had been walking down the hallway outside of the bullpen looking at a case file. after glancing up, he did a double take and took in your appearance.

you were a lot skinnier. the family had greatly reduced the amount of food you were given. however, the nutrients you were given were helping with that. second, your hair was a lot longer. it was past your shoulders, with the pink fading and your natural hair color coming in at the roots. finally was your injuries. you had a knee brace on, bandages on cuts, and you were clutching your ribs.

hotch closed the files and walked over to you. you accepted the hug and placed your head on his shoulder. “it’s good to have you back,” he told you. the next was rossi who also hugged you, calling you a sweet name in italian and expressing his happiness for having you back. garcia was after that. she had gasped when she saw you before gushing over anything and everything.

j.j. and emily saw you after garcia. both had hugged you. you were silent through the whole thing but accepted the hug from your practically sisters.

“where’s spencer?” you asked j.j.

“he’s out at lunch with morgan, should be back soon,” emily piped in.

“bau team? a word in the conference room,” hotch called into the bullpen causing everyone’s heads to turn. j.j. wrapped an arm around your waist and helped you up the stairs with your injured knee.

“i just wanted to speak to you all. obviously y/n has returned from her mission which had gone very well. things should be going back to normal now with our full team back together. y/n i’m not going to pressure you but is there anything you want to add?” hotch asked.

you looked up at the team. “i’m really lucky to be alive,” you started, “once the family found out that we were fbi, danny and i were almost killed. and i’m just happy that i’m here now standing with all of you. well most of you,” you revealed.

it was at that moment that you noticed the glass door of the bau bullpen open up. inside walked morgan and spencer who were laughing about something. instantly, you were up and out of the chair you were sitting in, practically hobbling out the door and down the catwalk. spencer glanced up at you, stopping in his tracks.

“y/n,” you heard him softly call.

spencer rushed over and up the steps, meeting you halfway. he pulled you into a tight but also gentle hug, careful of any injuries he was unaware of. after a kiss to the forehead, he pulled away. you moved your hands to his cheeks and smiled slightly.

“your home,” he commented.

“yeah, i’m home,” you finalized.

[kk095]

Candice's Acute PE

Candice was a 44 year old white woman, standing at 5'6 with a pleasantly plump build, shoulder-length brown hair, and brown eyes. Candice was always a history buff, so it’s no surprise that she worked as a history teacher at the local high school. Outside of work, she was married to her husband John for the past 12 years. The two of them never had kids, but Candice often joked that her students counted as her kids.

Candice didn’t have any significant medical history, but had been experiencing shortness of breath and heart palpitations on and off for approximately 3 weeks prior to the incident, and attributed her symptoms to the day to day stress of being a teacher.

Yesterday, Candice was brought to our emergency department after being found semi conscious and struggling to breathe in her classroom after school by the school’s janitor. The medics informed our emergency department that they set up 2 large bore IVs and hung a bag of normal saline, gave her nitro for her chest pain, and put her on an o2 mask with high flow oxygen. “Please… call John…” she said weakly to the medics while they prepped her for transport. The medics told her that the ER staff would get ahold of her husband, but that didn’t reassure her at all. “call him… I have to see him before I die!” she replied in a weak, wobbly voice. The medics told her she wasn’t going to die and that she was in good hands, but Candice had an impending sense of doom.

During the ride over to the hospital, Candice’s condition worsened. Her eyes were teary as she continued gasping for air. She began the cough up blood, which sprayed the inside of the o2 mask. She began coughing up larger amounts of blood, so the medics suctioned out her mouth while she continued to cough and hack away. Even though the medics cleared her airway of blood, she continued to frantically gasp for air. Her vital signs were also dropping rapidly despite the medics' attempts to stabilize her.

Suddenly, Candice’s cries and gasps stopped. She let out a calm exhale and her eyes opened wide, drifting off into unconsciousness. The heart monitors displayed pulseless electrical activity, so the medics had to start coding the 44 year old in the back of the ambulance. The medic in the back of the ambulance set up the Lucas thumper so they’d be able to multitask more easily.

Once the Lucas thumper was wet up, it began delivering perfect, mechanical chest compressions. Candice’s chest caved in, and her large, natural breasts jiggled in sync with the machine’s motions. The medic then injected doses of epinephrine and atropine into the teacher’s IV in an attempt to obtain a shockable rhythm. The next step was to intubate her. A 7.0 ET tube was carefully navigated into her airway during ongoing compressions. This was a bit of a moving target for the paramedic, but they were able to successfully place the breathing tube and secure it with a blue tube holder. Once the ambu bag was attached, the medic started bagging her while the Lucas thumper did its work.

The first handful of cycles proved ineffective since Candice remained in PEA, so the next round of drugs were pushed intravenously at the 3 minute mark of the code. After just one more cycle of ambu bagging and Lucas compressions, Candice converted to v-fib. The medic gelled the defibrillator paddles and began charging them. Once the paddles were ready, the Lucas was paused and the paddles were placed up against the patient’s bare chest, and a 250j shock was delivered. Candice’s body jolted violently in response to the shock, but failed to produce a change. The medic resumed the Lucas compressions while they gelled and recharged the defibs to 300j. Moments later he paddles were ready and the next shock was delivered. Candice’s back arched, thrusting her chest into the air while her eyes stared lifelessly above. Once again, this shock failed to convert her out of v-fib, so a 360j shock was delivered shortly after. This shock caused Candice’s feet to leap up above the gurney before slamming back down a second later, showing off the thick, soft wrinkles throughout the soles of her size 9 feet. The third shock sent the cute teacher back into PEA, so the medic resumed the Lucas thumper.

Candice arrived at the emergency department a few minutes later and was still in PEA despite Lucas thumper compressions and another dose of epinephrine and atropine, having a total down time of 6 minutes at that point.

After the medics informed the ER team of the situation, they removed the Lucas thumper and let the ER staff take over. A nurse began deep, harsh chest compressions on the patient, causing her head to loll and her belly to bounce outwards from the residual force of each individual compression.

With CPR ongoing, the attending physician ordered a battery of blood tests: a CBC, BMP, tox screen, cardiac enzyme test, and a d-dimer. After all the blood was drawn and sent off to the lab for stat testing, a chest x ray was performed. The x ray showed a 2.8cm right atrial dilation, but no other noteworthy findings. Because of the right atrial dilation, the ER attending ordered an echocardiogram. The echo further confirmed the right atrial dilation, but didn’t show evidence of any other conditions on the short list of diagnoses such as: major STEMI, thoracic aorta or SVC aneurysm, or structural heart defects. The attending thought this was either a PE or a bleed in the lungs from undiagnosed pulmonary artery hypertension. The treatments for these 2 conditions are very different from one another and the wrong treatment could exacerbate things, so the ER team’s goal was to obtain ROSC and send her off to radiology for a chest CT angiogram.

Around the 10 minute mark of the code, Candice converted back to v-fib. The orange defib pads were stuck onto her bare chest and the electric whirring of the defibs being charged could be heard amongst the organized chaos in the room. When the paddles were ready to go, they were pressed up against Candice’s chest and a 300j shock was delivered. Her body flopped quickly on the table as the jolt of electricity coursed through her lifeless body. V-fib remained on the monitors, so a cycle of chest compressions were delivered while the paddles were readied for the next shock.

A short while later, the paddles were recharged and a 360j shock was promptly delivered. Candice’s arms and legs bounced around in response to the shock. This shock sent the 44 year old history teacher back into PEA, so CPR was resumed.

The nurses pumped away at Candice’s chest cover the coming minutes to no avail. Her ET tube began to fill up with blood, so the ambu bag was detached and the tube was suctioned out in order to obtain a clear airway. The suction tube made a slurping sound while it withdrew both fresh blood and clotted blood from the patient’s airway. After a few quick rounds of suction, the airway was restored and the ambu bag was reattached and the code continued.

Candice continued to receive deep, violent chest compressions. Her flabby torso jiggled around, and her left arm hung off the side of the table, bouncing slightly, in sync with the CPR that was being performed. The next dose of meds were injected into her IV, but the ER team began to grow less and less optimistic as more time went on.

It took another 5 and a half minutes, but Candice converted back to v-fib at the 17 minute mark of the code. Once again, the paddles were charged and pressed up against the history teacher’s bare chest. Once everyone backed away, 300 joules of electricity were sent back into Candice’s dying body. The shock forced the 44 year old’s limp body to twitch abruptly in response to the jolt of electricity. Once again, Candice wasn’t able to be shocked out of v-fib, so the team recharged the paddles and hit her again at 360. Her toes scrunched, wrinkling the soles of her feet; post shock, her toes relaxed from their clenched position. Another unsuccessful shock was delivered before Candice once again converted back to PEA.

One of the nurses resumed CPR on Candice. They could feel her cold, clammy skin through their gloved hands as they pumped the cute history teacher’s chest repeatedly. Candice’s chest was red and bruised from several broken ribs and the constant, forceful pressing of her sternum. Her eyes remained wide open, with a blank, lifeless stare up above while her head bobbed around slightly from the compressions.

Candice was given another dose of meds at the 19 minute mark of the code, and converted to v-fib 2 minutes later. The ER team shocked Candice 3 more times, and coded her for another 5 minutes to no avail. Despite the ER staff’s best efforts, time of death was called on Candice at 15:53 while she was still in v-fib after a 26 minute code.

The ambu bag was detached and the chirping heart monitors were turned off. The nurses shut Candice’s eyes for the final time and began plucking the EKG electrodes off her bare, battered chest. The orange defib pads were peeled off and her body was covered up with a sheet, only leaving her feet exposed. A toe tag was placed on the big toe of her left foot before she was sent up to the hospital morgue.

The autopsy revealed a series of small blood clots in the smaller blood vessels of the lungs, explaining Candice’s 3 week history of symptoms. However, a large blood clot was found lodged in the right pulmonary artery, explaining her right sided heart issues and sudden deterioration. If Candice sought treatment earlier, it’s very likely she would have survived, making the case even more sad for all of those involved.

[australiancarisi]

Sonny Carisi ~Stay

A boring night on shift at the hospital changes when your boyfriend shows up  Words: 1992 I’m not a nurse I know nothing besides 15 seasons of greys anatomy so please don’t come at me A part of my Sonny universe 

It was a relatively quiet night in the Mercy Hospital ER. Just your usual drunks falling down, some parents overreacting after their kids hurt themselves, the odd accident here or there but for the most part your shift was going easy. And you weren’t complaining. 

You sat at the nurse’s desk sipping on your Redbull, scrolling through the patient database putting in all the notes the doctors and other nurses had written over the past few hours. 

“Next time a kid comes in here with a lego man’s head stuck in a hole of their body I’m not dealing with it” Nina huffed throwing a plastic bag with the toy in it “That’s the 8th of this week! stop giving stupid kids lego” 

“What did you expect when you became a nurse?” you asked, looking down to your phone. 

“Prince Charming not texted you in 10 minutes?” Nina gave you a smug look. You and Sonny had been dating for 8 months and it honestly has been amazing since day one. All your other relationships failed when they realised how hectic your schedule, most guys couldn’t work with the shift work. But Sonny got it. He was busier than you, it was rare that he wasn’t working whether actually on the clock or at home but he tried to make as much time as possible for you. He texts you constantly throughout the day and comes over to your apartment or to the hospital to drop off food for you. Because he knows that your diet would otherwise consist of Redbull and skittles from the vending machine. A part of you feels guilty when you see him walk through the ER doors when on shift because it obviously meant someone was hurt, but you got to see your boyfriend. 

“It’s actually been a while since I’ve heard from him” you sighed, the two other ER nurses on for the night, Tia and Mel walked up to the desk handed their notes over and putting on new gloves.

“Ambulance 3 minutes out, Police officer, gunshot wound, not sure how bad, there wasn’t much info” Tia said “Been told to take him straight to the surgery 2, it's being set up now”

“I’m sure he’s fine” Nina reassured you, your phone began to buzz and Sonny’s name flashed on the screen “see” 

“Hey gorgeous” you smiled into the phone, you really needed to hear his voice right now. 

“y/n” your blood ran cold as you heard Sonny’s lieutenant, Olivia Benson voice, not Sonny’s, came through the phone with sirens in the background. “Y/n you there?” 

“Please don’t tell me” you stood up, Nina was now by your side

“We’re 2 minutes out from Mercy, Amanda is with him” Olivia didn’t have to tell you the officer shot was Sonny, you knew. You ran towards the doors, you could hear the sirens. Liv and Fin’s car showed up in the ambulance bay first, the ambulance following closely behind. 

“two gunshot wounds to the upper left chest” the paramedic yelled as they got Sonny out, Amanda jumped out as well. 

“Sonny!” You screamed running towards him. Fin grabbed you pulling you out of the way so Nina, Tia and Mel could work on him. “Let me go! Fin! Fin! Let me go!” You managed to get out of Fin’s grip as they raced Sonny to the operating room. You ran closely behind, no longer listening to what anyone was saying, you just wanted to see Sonny, you needed to be with him. They pushed Sonny through the doors to the operating room, Nina turned around a pushed you away.  

“y/n don’t you know you can’t go in there” She said 

“I need to be in there! I need to help him!” you cried trying with all your might to get past her. 

“And that’s what we are going to do but we can’t give him our full attention if we are worrying about you, please” she begged, you stopped fighting long enough for her to close the door behind herself. You turned around and to see the squad there. 

Liv, Mike, Fin, Amanda.....

Amanda. 

She was covered in blood.

Sonny’s blood

Tears welled in your and streamed down your cheeks. Your back hit the door behind you as you fell in the ground. Sonny was behind that wall, bleeding, have god knows what happening and you couldn’t help him. You wanted to take care of him, you had to take care of him, that was your job. He looks after everyone so you made it your job to look after him. Liv slowly and quietly made her way over to you and helped you to your feet. As you stood she instinctively wrapped her arms around you. You were so thankful for her right in this moment. 

“Here” Mike hummed handing you a bottle of water, breaking your trance. It had been 3 hours since Sonny came in (2 hours since Nina had come out to give you an update) and you just felt empty. Barba had since shown up and Amanda had been given scrubs to change into. 

“Please just tell me” you pleaded, not to anyone in general but everyone shared looks. Every time you had asked them to tell you they always changed the subject “I need to know” 

“It doesn’t matter y/n-” 

“Yes it does” you cut Fin off, before turning to Olivia “Please tell me” 

“We have a DV vic, Sonny is the lead on the case, he gave her his card in case something happened” Mike started 

“She called said her husband had shown up at her house Sonny and Amanda went over and he was holding her hostage with a gun... Sonny tried to talk him down... he went for the gun and the guy shot him” Liv finished. They all looked at you, waiting for your reaction. 

“...is she safe? The victim?” You looked to Amanda 

“Uh, yeah yeah, she is. When the husband... when he shot Sonny he went into shock. I went to Sonny and she grabbed the gun and held him up until everyone else got there” Amanda said

“Okay good” you sighed in relief. Some good new “He has to pull through now, he has to know she’s okay” 

It was another hour until Nina finally came back out to you. As soon as you saw her you jumped to your feet and ran to your friend. You wrapped your arms around her and she squeezed you back. 

“Please please tell me he’s okay” you begged over and over again 

“He’s okay, he’s okay” she said and you heard everyone let out an audible sigh of relief. Nina let you go so she could talk to everyone but mainly you. “I’m not gonna lie he was touch and go for a while. He had 3 gunshot wounds. One was straight through his upper right arm, easy fix. One into his right shoulder which broke his clavicle but it was a clean break, it's been reset and he’s obviously going to need rehab” 

“Okay, and the third one?” you knew she was keeping something from you. She took in a deep breath “Nina please” 

“The third hit his aorta... it obviously caused us the most problem, he lost a lot of blood...like a lot. I’m gonna say this because it’s you, I didn’t think he was gonna make it... I was preparing to come out here and tell you he didn’t make it” 

“But he’s okay” Liv quickly jumped in 

“Yes” Nina nodded “the cardiologist repaired his aorta and his heart was pumping steadily, they’ve moved him to ICU while they get a room for him”

“Can we see him?” Amanda asked 

“You can all see him” Nina put an emphasis on the ‘all’ and looked at you “when he moves from ICU to the ward. It shouldn’t be too much longer” 

“But-” you started 

“No” Nina cut you off 

“But-” 

“No” 

“What if I-” 

“No and I’ve told ICU that you are not to step foot in there” 

“Nina!” 

“It's the rules! You know that no one is allowed in there after hours” Nina reminded you. “I’ll come get you when he’s been moved” 

It was about another hour before Nina came to get you to tell you he was in. For the first time ever you were glad you knew this hospital like the back of your hand. When you neared his room you slowed down when you heard his voice. That sweet Staten island accent that was like music to your ears. You could tell he was drowsy but that was too expected. 

“... I’m not just a cop I’m a detective” he said to Mel as you walked to the door. He was propped up on an angle, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor with his right arm in a sling.  His eyes fell on you and his eyes went wide “Heeeeeey babbbbbbbe” 

“Hey yourself” you giggled. All your stress and anxiety went away as soon as you saw him. It finally sunk in that he was okay. 

“hey hey” he poked Mel “this is my girlfriend she’s a nurse too. She’s the best nurse ever... no offence” Mell burst out laughing 

“She knows Sonny” you laughed 

“She does?! How?!” He exclaimed 

“We work together Sonny, you’re at y/n’s hospital” Mel shook her head as she kept writing notes 

“This is your hospital babe!? Why didn’t you tell me you own a hospital?!” he turned back to you. his eyes wide 

“I don’t own the hospital gorgeous, I work here remember” you walked around his bed to his side

“Ohhhhh, yes babe you’re right” 

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on him” Mel smiled at you. You thanked her as she left the two of you alone. “What’s all this babe business by the way? You never call me babe” 

“No I call you doll” he nodded, very seriously “you are my doll... Doll?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m sorry for worrying you” 

“It’s okay-” 

“No it’s not” he cut you off. He was very firm “I almost left you and I never wanna leave you. I heard you cry when I went in” he was concussion when he came in? You didn’t realise, now you felt bad that the last thing he heard before going under was you crying “Don’t. Don’t feel bad” 

“Do you remember when we first met?” You asked changing the subject 

“It was here, in the ER” he nodded 

“You were here to talk to a patient, she was really fragile and when you and Amanda came in, you demanded to see her and I thought who is this guy coming in here and throwing his weight around. And the patient was so scared and I was afraid you were going to hurt her” you told him “and then when you went in there you were so soft and gentle with her and I knew, I just knew you were a good one” 

“I’d seen you around the hospital a couple of times before that” Sonny confessed “Amanda used to make fun of me cause I was so hung up on you and then the moment I actually got to talk to you I was so nervous I could barely talk to you” 

“The other nurses used to keep track of you every time they came in cause they knew I liked you” 

“Liv would send me cause she knew I liked you” Sonny closed his eyes as you ran your fingers through his hair “I love you y/n” 

“I love you too Dominick” he blushed as you used his real name “get some sleep gorgeous, you need it” 

“You’re gonna stay right?” he mumbled, sleep was quickly taking over him 

“Of course I’ll stay, I’m always gonna be by your side” you whispered leaning over to his him as he drifted off.