#its never gonna be enough. i want to ascend past my abilities again and again. i want to have a seat at the table with more successful

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Dark Shenanigans - Nandor x (f)reader

Summary: It’s Nadja’s something hundredth birthday, with that said, you’re on a mission to make it great.

Warning: fluff, general vampire nonsense

Masterlist

“Yeah being a half vampire half human does have its perks. I mean for one I can do all that cool vampire shit and I can go out in the sunlight...so that helps for when they’re all being really annoying.” You admit with a casual shrug to one of the documentary cameras before turning to an isle of party supplies. “So anyways we’re at this store.”

The camera shifts to the multiple arras of supplies and materials at the local supermarket in Staten Island that you and your vampire lover’s human familiar, Guillermo, currently are. Specifically on the hunt for birthday decorations for Nadja and ghost Nadja who’s possessed a strange looking doll for the time being.

Since the other four actual full vampires can’t shop for themselves at this time of day or really in general, you and Guillermo have been given such an honorable task in making Nadja’s birthday the best one yet. Considering she’s the most well balanced in the head out of the four of them and is the only other lady of the manor.

“Hey Y/N, how’s this look?” Wonders Guillermo as he holds up a bunch of Mardi Gras beads of yellows, purples, and greens. “Comments, questions, concerns?” He adds with a small smile.

Eyeing up the beads, your head shifts over to the other various colors, “Hrmm, G I’m feeling the vibe you’re going for this year and I like it, but let’s go with Nadja colors.”

Guillermo’s dark eyes light up at your positive suggestion, “Right! So the red and black ones then?”

“Yup. She’ll love that shit.” You state with a satisfied nod of approval, “Let’s get some black and gold confetti from over there and oh, those masquerade masks look cool as fuck.”

You pick up and test out various masks in the background as Guillermo adds some bits of dialogue for the documentary crew, “Um yeah she’s really cool isn’t she.” He says with a smile while glancing at you then back to the camera, “Which is kind of odd since Y/N’s been with Nandor since 1793 so you’d think she’d be a little more like them but no, she’s super chill and really nice.” Suddenly his face goes a bit serious as he leans in to whisper, “But she did kill a whole street gang once when they threw a slur at me so I wouldn’t mess with her. For your safety.”

The camera pans back over to an oblivious you who’s put on a masquerade mask and is swinging a plastic light saber around with a whole lot more accuracy and grace then would a normal person. The camera then pans back to Gullimero, “Um, I’m just gonna....make sure she doesn’t smack anyone.”

——

Arms full of groceries of food for you and Gullimero, as well as random party decorations for Nadja’s birthday tomorrow night, you use the bottom of your boot to skillfully open the door as the documentary crew and Guillermo follows suit. Guillermo now on the verge of falling over with the large heart shaped pillow in his arms that’s covering most of his body.

You don’t feel tired in the slightest due to your half vampiric abilities so this is nothing to you, “Alright.” You state, turning on your heel to face the crew and Guillermo, “They’re asleep so we gotta be extra sneaky now, I don’t want Nadja catching us with all this cool spooky birthday shit. Everyone to the attic!” You whisper yell before leading the charge to the attic.

They all follow as quietly and as quickly as they can and then soon enough in no time are you and Guillermo back outside in the sunny garden trying to figure out if you should blow up the giant sea monster pool floaty.

“I mean it would look cool as hell and no doubt out-do whatever the fuck boring thing Lazlo probably has planned.” You quip with a shrug while the two of you stare thoughtfully at the small gloomy dark pond. “He’s got no chance with us. I’ve won best decorator and card maker for two hundred years in a row.”

Guillermo side eyes you in honest amazement, “Wow that’s a lot of years. And cards.”

“I know. I was an artist in the 12th century but my no good terrible good for nothing piece of garbage trash sexist human husband, who I was forced to marry when I was only sixteen, took all the credit for my artwork in that era.” You confirm with a growl, “But it stings less because once I finally grew into my powers and strength at eighteen I simply made his untimely demise look like an accident.” You add with a smirk.

“Oh, wow.” Mutters the intrigued familiar.

“Precisely. The old fool was thrown off his horse because I told Philip, the horse, to throw him off. And he did. Which killed the idiot so I got the house and all of his money.”

“That’s......neat.” Mutters Guillermo as he shoots the camera crew from behind you and him a nervous look. “Uh the suns going down so I should probably help Nandor out of his coffin.”

Raising your head to the sky you immediately see how the sun has begun to paint the clouds in beautiful colors of oranges, reds, light pinks, and darkening purples. “Oh, how bout that. Yeah alright let’s get inside.” You nod to Guillermo before turning to walk towards the manor’s giant mahogany doors.

——

Turning the handle and walking a couple feet into the large main room that holds itself as a sort of crossroads for all the other various connecting hallways and staircases. You don’t make it even three more steps towards the left ascending staircase before you hear the highly recognizable voice of your one and only.

“Y/N! My lovely wife and favorite person still ever so lovely!” Announces Nandor loudly with a grand smile showing off his pearly white fangs, “How I have missed you and your morning kisses. Where have you been off to?” He wonders softly as you smile a big dumb love-struck grin right back up at him, you’d absolutely die to hear that accent one last time.

“I can’t tell you right now it’s a secret!” You whisper yell back, causing his thick dark brows to scrunch up in confusion.

“But I am your lovely strong puff dragon Y/N.” Whines Nandor adorably as you roll your eyes at the cameras before looking back up at him.

“Fine. Come here then.”

In an instant he’s at your side, excitedly awaiting what secretive news you will tell him, “Okay, so we know it’s Nadja’s birthday tomorrow right?”

“Yes. I remember because she hasn’t shut up about it.”

“Right. So me and Gullimero got some fun surprise birthday party decorations and they’re in the attic and we can’t tell Nadja.”

Nandor gives you a knowing look of affirmation as he leans in closer to you, his demeanor suddenly shifting into a more saddened one, “You went shopping without me?” He says quietly.

Leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek your hands instantly find his, “Just for a little while, but I still need to find more stuff so....you wanna come?”

Nandor’s big dark eyes light up with joy as you hand him a kind smile, “Yes! Let us go in search of unknown treasures for our lady friend Nadja so she will not be mad at us for terrible dull gifts of friendship.”

Laughing you give his hands a playful squeeze, “Come on I’ll race you to Party City!” You say before leading him past the camera crew and Guillermo who simply watches the two of you leave, glad to have an hour of peace.

“There’s a whole city for partying? Y/N why have we never been to this place?”

——

“Y/N there are no people partying here.” Whines your vampire lover in puzzlement as he follows you from the entrance to a side isle. “You said this was a city for partying.”

“That’s just the name of the store Nans.” You retort with a small chuckle as he looks from right to left at all the color coded party plates and napkins galore.

“Well the title is very misleading.”

“Agreed.”

Turning to the right you guide him towards the decretory pirate themed isle in search of something that will peak his interest. Also you wanted so badly to make it to this spot but Gullimero was a man on a mission so your intention was thwarted for when you had Nandor with you.

Speed walking down the pirate themed isle you quickly halt all movement as Nandor’s large body stops within less than an inch from your back. Smiling brightly you snatch the desired object in front of you and as swift as a cat turn to face him.

“Have you come for a dual my old enemy?” You speak slyly, eyes narrowed as you hold the foam sword right in front of his face. “I sense a nervousness about you. Tell me, are you ready to face your inevitable bloody end?”

Staring at the pointy foam, his dark puppy eyes shift over to you as an adorable fangy grin breaks out across his pale face, “Seems you have come prepared, oh radiant and alluring seductress. Well, so have I!” Shouts Nandor before grabbing two foam swords from off the rack and swinging them in both hands like a mad man.

Taking a cautious step back you hold your pathetic five dollar sword in both hands like a true warrior ready for battle, “Only one shall leave this place alive.” You affirm with a smirk, “And it’s not going to be you.”

“Arrrrrggg.” Bellows your lover as he charges you like the true conqueror that he once was. But all to soon do you swiftly duck under his arms and swat him over his stomach with a confident thwack sound.

He makes a puny little “oww” as you turn around to face him once again, “Y/N you hit me kind of hard.” He complains, looking rather defeated and genuinely hurt that you could have intentionally injured him on purpose.

Bringing the plastic weapon down to your side once again, your face suddenly softens as you walk over to him, “Come here you big baby.” You quip sincerely as he leans down so you can give his cheek a quick kiss.

Rising back to his full height, Nandor almost blushes as the corners of his eyes crinkle into a happy smile, “Actually it didn’t hurt at all I just wanted you to kiss me.” Reveals the vampire with a proud grin as you simply roll your eyes.

“Should have known.” You add before turning and snatching up four more plastic foam pirate swords for the others. “Alright let’s get outta here, follow me my love, to the checkout line we shall purchase our weapons of war and partying on the high seas.” You announce with gusto as Nandor stands proudly at your side, ready to follow you anywhere.

“Yes. To check out.”

——

Kicking open the unlocked door, Nandor bursts into the vampire residence with bags full of goodies for Nadja’s birthday party. You right behind him but less dramatically, “We’re back!” You shout to no one in particular as Colin Robinson suddenly appears from out of nowhere, looking ready to leave with his funny little hat and usual beige jacket.

“Oh hey guys,” He starts with a friendly nod, “I’m just heading out on the town tonight. I guess there’s a fair or something in the park and I wanted to test my skill at the ball toss. I’ve been reading up on the body mechanics and how the game is set up which seems pretty basic all in all. Also I really want to win a stuffed bear this time, it might add a little pizazz to my room. Welp see ya’round.” Adds Colin before walking past the two of you without another word and out into the night he goes with some of the camera crew following close behind.

Nandor turns to you with a look of annoyance, “Jeesh I thought he would never leave. Let’s go to your room I want to kiss you some more now.”

“Why my room?”

“Because since you are half vampire you get to sleep in a bed and because I am a full vampire I sleep in a coffin.” Inquires Nandor while looking at you with those big beautiful dark eyes of his, “And my coffin is too small for cuddles so your room will suffice.”

“Yeah that’s a fair point.” You shrug before following him to your room.

After many cuddles leading to other more rated R type activities that lasted until just about sunrise, you finally got some well needed rest while the sun shone high in the sky until she began her dramatic descend back into oblivion. Opening your eyes you slowly rise from out of your comfy bed, already missing the presence of your obsidian eyed lover.

He gets too nervous about your closed windows for fear that the sun might burn him which would be impossible because you black out the glass. But alas, he’s very cautious about these types of things and won’t risk it for anything, though he feels bad about leaving you in the morning, you understand.

Suddenly it dawns on you that today or perhaps tonight, is Nadja’s birthday and you completely forgot to set up any decorations. Shit, how stupid. Throwing the blankets off of you, your feet move quick as you speedily change yesterday’s outfit for something a bit nicer and more clean.

Racing out of your room and into the dimly lit manor hallway, you make a bee line for the attic but before you’re able to reach the steps, Guillermo runs into you, just about knocking you into a wall of various stolen ancient weapons. Sharp ones at that.

That was close.

“Y/N are you okay!” Worries the familiar as you quickly gather your bearings.

“Guillermo! The decorations! Nadja’s birthday!” You whisper yell as the human man simply smiles. “Why are you smiling, this situation does not call for smiles.”

“Don’t worry. While you were sleeping I set up all the decorations.” He replies with a shrug, “No problem.”

“What? But that must have taken you all day, you could have asked me for help. I would have come.” Your brows furrow as he shakes his head, though you still feel bad for not helping with anything.

“Well I did try, but um,” Gullimero awkwardly clears his throat, giving the camera a quick glance, “Nandor was with you and last time I asked for you while you and him where having alone time he threatened to carve out my eyeballs and force feed them to me.”

Pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance you take a deep breath, “Sounds like him. Very creative when he wants to be, alright, well....where’s everyone?”

“Oh, they’re not up yet. I was actually on my way to get you. I made blood popsicles and the pool floaty is all done and in the pond.” He says with a sense of pride for his decorating skills. “I think she’ll like what we’ve come up with this year.”

-

Standing in the living room with your three fellow immortals you search a dresser for her card, “Oh shit where’s my card? I could have sworn I had it yesterday on my dresser but I don’t remember seeing it there in the morning. Maybe it’s in this one?”

“Witches!” Hisses Nadja as you huff in frustration, where the hell did you put that damn card?

“Oh, Y/N my love,” Intervenes Nandor with a gentle tug of your sleeve, “I took it with me when I left your room before sunrise because I wanted to put my name on it too so she would know it’s from us.”

“What?” Replies Lazlo dramatically, “Now hold on just a damn minute, this card competition is individually scored so I won’t be having any of this nonsense. I worked really hard on mine this year.”

“Oh lick a donkey’s arse, look here,” You retort with, quickly holding up the card for Nadja, “there are two separate drawings on ours so either way if one of us wins she gets both our pictures. So you better hope your drawing doesn’t resemble a night clubs bathroom wall.”

“Yeah.” Mutters Nandor, who’s hiding behind you while resting both hands on either one of your shoulders as you glare at Lazlo.

“Fine.” Agrees Lazlo begrudgingly, “And mine will be amazing, this bitch of paper took me a whole six months to plan and produce. Can’t get quality this good anywhere else I guarantee it.” Adds Lazlo with a firm nod of self approval as you glance at the nearby camera.

“Right, okay everyone sit it’s time for presents. I want to know what you all got me.” Beams Nadja excitedly as she smiles a fangy grin in delight, plopping herself down in one of the arm chairs. Lazlo quickly finding the other one while you and Nandor seat yourself on the large couch. Colin and Guillermo finding somewhere to sit close by respectfully.

“Well, all I can say is hold onto your socks my dear cause this is going to blow you away.” Smirks Lazlo as he pulls a small box from out of his jacket pocket.

“If it’s a self made business card that says invitation to sexy town I will puke.” You deadpan while Nandor laughs from beside you, causing Lazlo to lose his smirk as Nadja hides her amusement the best she can manage.

“He he, sexy town, nice one Y/N.” Mutters Nandor with a proud grin as you raise a brow at Lazlo who’s giving you a hard glare.

“Oh, my dear pumpkin pie love, don’t listen to Y/N I will love anything you gift me.” Encourages Nadja with a bright welcoming smile, no doubt immediately boosting Lazlo’s once irked mood.

Rolling your eyes you shift a bit to find yourself leaning into Nandor’s body as Nadja opens up the rest of the vampire residents various gifts. A joyous fangy smile gracing her pale features every single time, revealing this birthday party was a thrilling success.

After much more fun that just about lasts throughout the whole night, and some rare but hilarious attempts at dancing between the five of you vampiric individuals. You’re feeling rather sleepy and you can tell Nandor is ready for a trip to dreamland as well.

Swaying to the lowly playing record instrumental, you hold Nandor tight while simultaneously enjoying the feeling of him so close, him doing just the same as he keeps you firmly pressed against his chest. His long dark hair tickles your face as he presses his head to your cheek, doing his absolute best to keep the flow without tripping up.

Sensing his growing fatigue, you gently squeeze his hand, “My love the sun will be up soon, let’s get you to bed, yes?”

A small lazy smile tugs at the corners of his lips while he looks down to meet your gaze, “But my dark angel I’m not tired. I want to dance with you a little longer.” He whines adorably before failing to conceal a big yawn.

Giggling, you lean back to slowly lead him towards the door, “That yawn says otherwise.”

“That wasn’t a yawn Y/N, I was just smiling really big.” He protests, though he still follows your lead to the door.

“I’ve never seen anyone smile like that.” You add with a raised brow.

“Well maybe that’s just how I smile.”

Letting out a breathy snort, you pull away from him to at last take his one hand, “Come. I can’t have a single ray of that dreaded sun to get a taste of your precious skin. Not on my watch.”

Glancing at the closed front door, Nandor squeezes your hand, “Well um, now since you’ve mentioned the sun...I think I’d like to go to my crypt now.” He says, the flash of worry crossing over his face for only a brief moment.

“You sure? I mean a sunrise is pretty beautiful if I’m being honest and I know you never get to see them...”

“Not funny Y/N. And not fair, you know I can’t because I am full vampire.”

“And you’re missing out.”

“And I’d like to stay alive Y/N.”

“Aren’t you dead?”

“Yes and I am your only husband so I need to stay not burnt to a crisp.”

Chuckling, you follow him down the hallway, “Oh really? Don’t want me finding myself with another vampiric lover? Some new beast to sweep me off my feet and take me away into the night.” You tease.

Side eyeing you, he frowns, “No. Don’t I sweep you off your feet?”

Stepping into his crypt you stop him with your hand against his bicep, “Always.” You whisper sincerely with a quick wink, causing him to break out into a big fangy grin.

“Good. And if anyone would try and whoo you I would make sure there would be no more whooing again!” Exclaims Nandor, making the candles rise in flame for only a short second at his rise in emotion for how much he loves you.

“I don’t doubt they would fall by your blade. Not for a second.”

[keytomythoughts]

Perfect Imperfections | Chapter 2

Chapter Index

»»—————————————-　

“Wait, you’re making your debut soon? You were still a trainee when I was in high school, right?”

He nods, one hand on the steering wheel while the other hangs outside of the car. “The company told me a month ago, so we’ve been practicing like crazy. Fortunately, practice ended early today, so I was able to swing by and pick you up from the train station.”

I smile smugly, punching his arm playfully. “Aww, you did miss me. Look at that.”

He snorts but doesn’t refute my statement. 

The evening sky is dusted in shades of rose, gold, and soft orange, the mix enveloping the horizon similar to a canvas being brushed with aesthetic paints. The clouds hang low, the sun casting shadows on the tallest of buildings with its warm, pale-yellow glow. The wind doesn’t nip at us sharply, instead shifting to a more calming, serene breeze. 

The car ride shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did, but I realize halfway that he was purposely taking the longer routes home. Sensing my lurking apprehension from our phone call hours ago, my brother picked up on that cue and decided to distract me as much as he could before we inevitably had to return.

Something my parents failed to realize. 

“Oh right, I forgot to ask,” Jaehyun stares ahead and switches lanes with ease, heading towards yet another highway, “how are Eunwoo and Moonbin?”

I did mention that Eunwoo and Jaehyun are close friends as well, so it wasn’t surprising when I found out that he knows of my friends circle. Well, those two really. Imagine my horror when I realized that they were the same age and friends. Shocking at first, but I got used to it. Besides, it’s not like we were awkward about it or anything. Moonbin also knew my brother, so we all essentially got along fairly well. 

I push the strands of hair away from my face, glancing down at my phone in my lap to find no new notifications from them since I last texted. Sighing, I look out to my right. “They’re fine. Both of them are gonna be in Seoul for the summer, so we’re just planning on hanging out until college starts.”

“Have you guys decided where to go, what you want to study?” 

I shrug my shoulders. “Not really. I mean, I’ve been thinking about medicine at Korea University, but,” I sink into the seat a little, sighing, “you know it’s not up to me.” My voice drops to a whisper near the end, my eyes casting towards the road ahead. 

Jaehyun turns to me, taking his hand off the steering wheel to gently pat my arm. “I know, sis. I really do. But still,” he removes his hand and places it back on the wheel, his eyes refocusing back on the road, “you should tell them what you want to do. Who knows, they might listen this time.”

I snort, crossing my arms over my chest. I tilt my head back against the seat, turning to look at my brother. “You really think so?”

To this, he doesn’t respond. How could he? It would be a lie meant to comfort me, but we both know the truth. He simply sighs, running a hand through his hair and leaving it behind his neck. I heave another sigh as well, both of us knowing that things may not work out the way we would like them to. 

This wouldn’t be the first time anyways.

We exit the freeway and merge onto the familiar streets of my neighborhood. Soon enough, we were pulling up into our driveway, the nervousness replacing the initial excitement of being back home. Jaehyun turns off the engine, neither of us making a move to leave the car first. Of course, with my nerves shot and breathing shallow, there would be no way I could go inside alone. Lucky for me, I’m not.

But why can’t I shake this sick feeling?

Jaehyun reaches out and squeezes my hand once, flashing that stupid grin of his at me. “C’mon, let’s go inside. Your oppa will protect you~”

I swat his hand away, my nose wrinkling in disgust but the laughter bubbles in my throat. He rubs my head again before removing his shades and stepping out of the car. Before I can unbuckle and step out myself, Jaehyun already stands at my side, holding my luggage. He waits patiently until I close the door behind me, my steps wavering slightly as I stand before the elaborately carved wooden door of our house. 

Jaehyun nudges my shoulder, smirking. “It won’t bite, Hyu.”

I roll my eyes as I follow right behind him. He unlocks the door and turns the doorknob and disappears past the threshold. I trail close behind him, a breath catching in my throat as I walk towards the living room. Everything was the way I remembered it, minus the new decorative pieces presumably from my father’s visits abroad. Living as a surgeon requires him to embark on trips overseas, sometimes not returning for months at a time. My mother, on the other hand, doesn’t actively practice surgery, instead deciding to teach as a medical professor at a top university in the northern district of Seoul. 

Four years and nothing has changed, huh? 

Jaehyun states that he’s going to put my belongings in my room before coming back down, and I nod at him. Just as he ascends up the stairs, my mother emerges from the kitchen, smoothing down the front of her lavish apron, a tight smile adorning her small, petite face. Her reddish-brown hair is worn in a small bun, her glasses hanging from her shirt. I won’t lie to you, my mother is a beautiful woman, even in her late forties. Smart, rich, and insanely polished. Not only her, but my father is the same as well. It’s no surprise where my brother gets his enviable features from, while I question what leftovers were given to me. I never believed myself to be smart or beautiful, like my parents. Nor was I carefree and sociable, like my brother. Sometimes I question if I was ever adopted, seeing as I seem to be my family’s outlier. The odd-one-out. Yet, Moonbin and Eunwoo highlighted those little bits of me that I’ve shamed myself on. Where I saw disappointment, they saw genuity. The “flaws” were my strengths. They prided me on the things my parents didn’t view so favorably. 

How I wish they were with me right now.  

My mom approaches me, enveloping me in a rather tight embrace. Wasn’t expecting that, but I reciprocate the action anyway.

“Hyuna, dear, I’m so glad you’re home,” she pulls away, grabbing me by my arms as her eyes scan my face, smiling, “and you’ve gotten so much prettier. I see your aunt took care of you well, I’m glad.” She places a hand against my cheek.

I smile nervously. “Happy to be back, mom. Sorry for not informing you and dad that I was coming back today.”

She shakes her head, tapping my cheek lightly before moving away from me. “Nonsense, dear. Your father is in his study, so he’ll be down shortly. I know how very tired you must be, so let’s set the table for dinner.” She shuffles back towards the kitchen, soon bringing out various utensils and a stack of plates. I immediately grab them from her and arrange the items on the table for the four of us. My mom kisses the top of my head and smooths my hair down, returning to the kitchen so she could bring out the meals. 

Something’s not right here.

My mother isn’t really the affectionate type. While it was blatantly obvious that I wasn’t the favorite child, that title reserved for Jaehyun (again, no surprise there), they didn’t really hate me, if that makes sense. They just tended to leave Jaehyun to do as he pleases, while I would have to listen to them. I don’t doubt that they care for us both, as good parents should, but I can’t help but feel disheartened when they would dismiss my feelings and decide to enforce their own ideals on me. Claiming that this would be “the best for me”.

As much as I respect my parents for raising me to be the ambitious, hardworking woman that I am, a part of me wishes that they would see me as a person with hopes and aspirations of my own, not just an extension of their legacy. 

How could they decide what’s best for me when I don’t even have the ability to voice them myself?

Moments later, my father descends from the stairs, my brother walking down from behind him as well. It seems like he’s been busy with office meetings, seeing as he’s still dressed in his formal beige button-up shirt and black dress pants. His glasses sit perfectly on the bridge of his nose, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants. 

I bow my head in respect. “Good evening, Father.”

He acknowledges my presence with a curt nod. No surprise again. He’s a man of few words, but when he does speak, he’s blunt and gets straight to the point. Wasting time and skirting around the truth has never been his philosophy. He practically radiates with superiority and firmness. From the stoic expression on his face to his neatly styled brown hair, my father was nothing short of a posh man in his early fifties. The best surgeon, the perfect doctor, the staple of all admirable men in South Korea.

In short, he’s practically worshipped by professionals across the nation. 

Naturally, my brother and I take great pride in our parents and our family’s rather successful and lavish legacy. Of course, with this reputation, it’s expected of us to uphold it. Education must be nothing short of challenging. Careers must be everything but disappointing. Appearances had to be pristine, no flaws or shortcomings apparent.

You get the picture.

My brother attended college for a short while—a year and a few months, if I’m not wrong—before dropping out once he got scouted by a reputable entertainment label. I don’t know specific details, but I do know that my parents weren’t initially too pleased to hear that he wanted to pursue a career as an idol singer. Nonetheless, and with the things Jaehyun was allowed to get away with, this was just another thing to be added to that list. I figured my father would come around and think that the Jungs shouldn’t be limited to more “sophisticated” fields—medicine, law, business, and the like. Branching out and including fine arts, including performance, would only solidify the notion that our family is meant to dominate every field imaginable with integrity and poise. 

My mother and I finish setting up the table and call for the rest to sit. Seeing the variety of dishes laid out, you would think it was a special occasion. Surely they weren’t celebrating my graduation as class Valedictorian. I haven’t told them any of my accomplishments, but I’m sure they had their means of getting access to my reports even before I was made aware of them. Connections, the most vital thing in the Jung family. It’s what helps us climb ranks and secure top positions in society. Why we’re so heavily respected, as well as feared. 

Jaehyun and I sit adjacent to each other while our parents are seated across us. We begin to eat in silence. Nothing too different from how we had family dinners back then, albeit the absence of my father or mother from late meetings or an overseas conference. To be quite frank, it did seem strange to have a meal with all of us present after so long.

My father suddenly clears his throat. “Hyuna, I heard from the teachers at your high school that you performed excellently. I’m pleased to hear this.”

I pause, my eyes training up to meet his steady gaze. Though pleased, he didn’t seem to express it facially. A direct complement is seldom said, so it comes as no surprise that it was the only thing I, or my brother, would be receiving. 

Jaehyun nudges me, realizing that I hadn’t responded as my father awaits with the same steady expression.    

“O-Oh, thank you, Father.”

He nods, placing his utensil back down on the plate before clasping his hands in front of him.

“Now that you’ve graduated, have you considered your possible college options and future career plans?”

This. This is the very question I’ve been dreading.

I can feel the air around me grow thick with anticipation. His words hang in the air, the words to respond with the scripted lines I’ve recited endlessly in my brain unable to fall from my lips. I suddenly recall what Jaehyun and Moonbin had told me prior, to try and voice my opinions in hopes that they may be heard and properly considered this time. After all, I would never know if I didn't try. Here’s my chance.

But, my father continues upon my brief hesitation. “With your academic record, you would have no issue enrolling in the top universities within the country. Even abroad, if you considered that as well.”

I gulp, my fingers clenching tightly in my lap. I force my rapid heart to slow its pace in fear that it may burst out of my chest, my breathing trying to be as calm as it can be. I can feel Jaehyun eyeing me from the side, and my mother stops eating as well. 

There’s silence. One which I break when I open my mouth to let the words bottled up in my mind spill out before I can properly think them through.

“I want to stay here, in Seoul.”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 

[scribbles97]

Left Behind -- Chapter 13

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13

Read On Ao3

I promise this one is just pure fluff and a whole lot of Scott with the adults and flying a certain Thunderbird for the first time. 

It felt strange being the only one home with his mother. Aunt Val and Grandma had taken Thunderbirds Two and Four to some offshore farming platform that had been damaged by a particularly bad storm. Gordon and Alan were both in school on the mainland, though how much studying the elder of the two was doing between swim training, Scott wasn’t sure. John had gone back to NASA to complete his space training, and Virgil back to college to finish his degree before joining the IR training. 

He had been home an hour and technically had nothing that immediately needed doing. All the manuals had been read, the protocols memorised, and the launch sequence gone over. It was just the call he was waiting for. 

“You know, our pilots are expected to spend time in their ships outside of rescues,” Mom murmured from where she was flicking through some file, “You don’t have to wait for a rescue kid.”

He did know. Yet, when the consideration had come to mind he had found himself instantly rejecting it. It seemed wrong to take his father's ship out for a simple joy ride. Especially when Dad wouldn’t be at his back giving directions and pointers.

“You were always going to have to get in that cockpit without him at some point, Scott.” She closed the file and leant back in the big leather desk chair as she watched him. 

Looking towards the chute, he straightened, pursing his lips and looking back to his mother, he swallowed. He’d done all the simulations, knew the controls by heart, had even flown the ship before. Just never alone. 

Even at twenty-six, that seemed like a big step. 

“I’ll have your back son.” His Mom stated, “Not that you need your hand holding, your Dad said you never did after your second flight out in her.”

He smiled, nodding as he swallowed hard. Dad had wanted this for him, the ship on the other end of that chute had always been meant for him.

“Permission to launch Thunderbird One?”

Her nod and smile was encouraging as she brought up the launch feed, “Granted. Fly safe son.”

He had always wondered what happened behind the revolving wall. Sure, he’d read the specs and been told about it plenty enough times. Experiencing it for himself was something entirely different though. His stomach dropped through his feet as the platform descended, and there was something strange about having to stay still as his suit assembled itself around him. 

And then he was there, stood in the hanger facing the red tipped ship, the platform automatically reaching out towards its belly as the seat presented itself to him. Swallowing hard he stepped into the seat, holding on to the arm rests as it retracted back into the ships belly, the glass hull closing around him. 

There was a moments silence as he looked around the cockpit, needlessly reminding himself of the controls that were standard for any IR ship. A jolt and he was moving, ascending up into position beneath the pool, sunlight bright against the dark rock of the hangar. 

Within his gloves he could feel his hands sweating, tense and sticky against the controls as he gripped and released them. 

“Thunderbird One you are clear for launch.” His mother spoke into his ear, “Enjoy your flight.”

A small smile let slip as he started the launch sequence, counting down in his head as the thrusters ignited and the g-force pushed him down into his seat. It was all he could do to bite his lip to stop the yell of thrill from escaping as the house and pool deck blurred past him. 

As his flight leveled off, he found himself letting go a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding. Just as Dad had shown him, he brought the ship back down to cruising level and banked around the island. 

“You gonna say it?” Lucy smiled as she popped up in front of him in hologram form, “You know it’s tradition.”

With a grin, he nodded, pushing on the horizontal thrusters with as much power as he could, “Thunderbird One is go.”

***

Lucy smiled as she relaxed back in her desk chair, only bothering to keep half an eye on Scott’s flight path and the engine readouts from the ship he was flying. He knew what he was doing and she trusted his ability, no longer did he require babysitting full time in any of the ships. Though that didn’t mean she would be letting him near her Thunderbird Two any time soon, too much of a speed demon like his father had been she wasn’t quite ready to trust him not to break her ship like Jeff had almost done plenty of times. 

Cargo planes weren’t meant to go fast. She had always had to remind him, it would get there when it got there with the equipment needed. Two was by no means a slow ship, just not as fast as her sister. 

“Thunderbird Two to base, we are on our way home.” Val interrupted her thoughts, “The offshore farm has been stabilised, no casualties reported.”

Sitting straighter, she smiled with a nod, “F.A.B. Thunderbird Two. Keep an eye out for Thunderbird One on your approach, someone’s taken her out for a test flight.”

Both Val and Sally smiled at the comment, each murmuring their approval and appreciation at the milestone. 

“Any news from Lee?” Val asked in the following silence, “Did he and Kyrano get to the retreat okay?”

“Kyrano called to say they’d got there,” Lucy confirmed, thinking back to how her brother had been noticeably absent in the call. Her friend had assured her that he was fine, simply jetlagged and had headed to his room to rest after their trip.  

“Lee had gone to rest after the flight, I’m sure he’ll call in in the morning.”

It was impossible not to ignore how Val’s face fell at the response, a twist of hurt at the reminder of the fact that whilst they were still married on paper, it was a long time since they had been a couple. 

“He’ll be back before we know it,” Sally interjected, “and hopefully for all of us in a better mood for it.”

“Agreed,” She sighed, shaking her head, “I think it’s hit him harder than any of us have realised. It’s probably the space he needs to grieve properly and get over it.”

Val’s head was bowed as she nodded in agreement, “Space was what he needed after my accident.”

Lucy winced, remembering how Lee had run away to his and Jeff’s old moon base after the rescue that had almost cost Val her life but had taken away so much more from both of them. 

“He’ll come round Val,” She assured gently, “You know he always does.”

“Yeah,” Val sighed, straightening again, “Sorry, just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“We’ll soon be home. Then I think a good meal and some sleep is what you need.” Sally offered. 

Lucy saw the opportunity and took it, “I’ll make sure there’s something in the oven for you.”

“Well you’d best hurry up.” Val smiled, “We’ll be in in fifteen.”

“F.A.B.” Lucy nodded, “And according to my readings you’ve got company bringing you in.”

“Nice of you to join us Thunderbird One!” Val called as Scott was added to the call, “How’s she handling?”

Scott almost laughed across the line, but Lucy could see the grin that was splitting his face now that he had relaxed into the flight.

“Like a dream Aunt Val. An absolute dream.”

Lucy shared a private smile with his Aunt and Grandma across the comm, knowing the answer couldn’t have been anything different from him.

“Can I trust you to land her is the question,” She smirked, “That’s the real challenge you know.”

Scott’s eyes widened slightly at the challenge, whether in fear or thrill Lucy couldn’t quite tell. He was still smiling though, so she trusted she hadn’t entirely put him off. 

“Well,” Val started, “Last one to the kitchen does the dishes sounds fair to me.”

Scott’s mouth dropped slightly, his eyes still wide as he laughed lightly, “Is that-- do we--”

Lucy couldn’t help it, she had to laugh at his disbelief as did Val, both giggling at the look on his face. 

“Scott, dear,” Sally smiled kindly, “Just because we are professionals, doesn’t mean that we have to act professional all the way home.”

Wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, Lucy sat straight again, “Oh honey, do you really think we always played sensibly when we were flying those ships? Your father and Lee especially?”

“Well… I thought--” His cheeks were quickly colouring a deep pink as he shook his head, “So we’re allowed to race?”

“As your Aunt said,” Lucy shrugged, “Last to the kitchen washes up.”

His face suddenly fell to the picture of seriousness, lips pressed in a tight line as his eyebrows dipped to the slightest frown, “In that case, see you around Thunderbird Two.”

Lucy shook her head as Scott’s comm cut out and Val snorted, “I’m not at all worried, he has a much harder landing to negotiate than I do. You turned off the landing guidance, right Luce?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Val,” She smirked, “That would make me a terrible mother.”

Val scoffed again, still laughing as she shook her head, “Let’s not tell him how many attempts it took us at first until later though, right?”

“Deal.” Lucy agreed as, in the corner of her eye, the pool began to retract, “Here he comes. Fly home safe you two, I’ve gone to make sure he doesn’t land it in the pool.”

She cut off Val’s laugh as she stood, shifting so she could watch readouts and the pool at the same time. Landing the ship seemed easy enough, but from her own experience it was a skill that took practise to perfect. 

Watching as One swept upwards into the sky, she began the count on her fingers, waiting for just the moment when her comm rang again. 

“Erm, Mom?”

Smiling to herself she returned to the desk, opening up the readouts for the rocket as she sat down. 

Maybe Scott was qualified, but he still had much to learn.

[recentanimenews]

The 42 Greatest Anime Moments of Monkey D. Luffy

  May 5 is the birthday of One Piece's main character Monkey D. Luffy, and over the past couple of decades of his existence, he's given us some moments that will stay in our minds forever. And so I've decided to chronicle 42 of his best ones, antics that will hopefully remind you how much you love the free-spirited, determined, ridiculous Birthday Best Boy. One note, though — while this list does contain some of those sweet, sweet fight scenes, I've already written a list that ranked his 20 greatest knockouts against bad guys. So, in order to not repeat that list entirely, I've tried to mix it up a little bit. 

  1. Luffy Wakes Up From A Great Nap

I can't think of a better anime debut for Monkey D. Luffy than "wakes up in the barrel that he miraculously survived a whirlpool in and immediately knocks out some pirates by accident." It's everything fun about the dude rolled into one.

2. Luffy Gets Coby To Hit Him

    One thing that doesn't get mentioned enough about Luffy is his haphazard, yet skillful ingenuity. He knows that Koby will never get to join the Marines if he's associated with pirates, so Luffy, his one brain cell working overtime, gets Koby to punch him in order to prove that they're not friends because would friends brawl on the floor of a restaurant? 

3. Luffy Gets The Straw Hat

A moment from the first chapter of the manga that was delayed until Episode 4 of the anime, Luffy getting the straw hat from Shanks is iconic. It sets in motion his entire journey and creates a symbol that represents freedom, adventure, and destiny.

4. Luffy Gives Nami The Straw Hat

  Luffy giving Nami his straw hat is more than just a simple, comforting gesture. It's Luffy telling Nami that if she wants, she'll be a Straw Hat now and for the rest of her life. Nami may have problems, but she'll never have to deal with them alone ever again.

5. Luffy Gets His First Bounty

    By gaining a bounty when he takes down Arlong, Luffy is introduced to the wider world of pirating, the World Government, and eventually the Grand Line. Though Buggy's reveal that he knew Shanks and Mihawk's appearance hinted at a wider world, this is Luffy's first real step into it.

  6. Luffy Smiles At Death

    Luffy obviously doesn't want to die. But as he smiles at the crowd and his crew while Buggy brings a sword down onto his neck, he grins. Because he didn't die in vain. He never became Pirate King and he never found the One Piece, but he did live his life exactly the way that he wanted to. And that's more important than any title or treasure. I'm glad he didn't die, though. They never would've found the Grand Line if Zoro had ascended to the role of Captain. They'd probably still be arguing in the Loguetown harbor.

7. Luffy Holds Up Hiriluk's Flag

   Wapol wanted to destroy Hiriluk's flag and thus eliminate his legacy. But Luffy — smoking due to being recently shot by a cannon and holding up the flag — proved that's not something you can just do. As long as someone is there to fight for it, a flag is forever.

  8. Luffy Disagrees With Vivi

   Vivi, frustrated, enraged, and embarrassed about the treatment of her country, was more than ready to sacrifice herself for it ... and only herself. But Luffy wasn't hearing it. If she was going down, they were all going down. It wasn't just Vivi's fight anymore. The Straw Hats had reached Ride or Die status.

  9. Luffy Beats Crocodile

  I did a list of Luffy's best knockouts so I'm not gonna list every major punch here. However, the ones that are especially meaningful deserve recognition. And this one, where, after two defeats, Luffy battered Crocodile up through the streets of Alubarna, is inarguably one of the most memorable. It's a triumph that's a long time coming, equal parts brutal and satisfying.

  10. Luffy Lets Himself Get Beat Up And Meets Blackbeard

  Mirroring Shanks' restraint when he let himself get harassed by the Mountain Bandits, here we see Luffy decide not to fight Bellamy and instead he listens to Bellamy's foolish proclamations about why dreams suck and why you shouldn't have them and why Mylo Xyloto is the best Coldplay album, probably. However, even if he didn't need the pick-me-up, Blackbeard meets him outside to reaffirm that dreams never die. It would be a super nice remark ... if anyone but Blackbeard was saying it.

  11. Luffy Is Immune To Enel

  Until this point, Enel is borderline unstoppable, able to strike down anyone in his path and — with the help of his "mantra" —  barely takes any damage in the process. And it's made him pretty cocky. But to see Enel's face distort in cartoonish disbelief when he realizes that Luffy is a Rubber Type Pokemon and that he's impervious to Electric Types is so joyously satisfying.

  12. Luffy Decides To Get Rid Of The Going Merry

    With the Going Merry slowly becoming unusable and actually becoming a handicap to the crew, Luffy figures that it's time to find a new ship. It's a sad moment, but you can't help but see Luffy's side. A good pirate crew needs a good pirate ship. And if the Going Merry suddenly sinks, Luffy is dead. Like very, very dead.

  13. Luffy Faces Usopp

  Usopp relates to the Going Merry, fearing that its "weakness" and "inadequacy" represents his own. And so when Luffy decides to get rid of the ship, Usopp lashes out, causing Luffy to have to "put down" Usopp. It's a difficult decision, but it shows that Luffy isn't all laughs and "I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" declarations.

14. Luffy Does Not Recognize Sogeking

    And then, after the most heartfelt showdown in the series, Luffy doesn't even recognize Usopp's Sogeking disguise, despite the fact that he has most of Usopp's traits, most of Usopp's weapons, and showed up only a little while after Usopp left. Oh, Luffy. Never stop being you.

  15. Luffy Goes Second Gear

  Power-ups are pretty common in anime. But Luffy saying that he needs to take his skills up another level so that he won't lose his friends still feels pretty special. And then the music kicks in and Luffy beats Blueno to a pulp and it's one of the most hype scenes in the entire series.

  16. Luffy Declares War On The World

   He'll always have a target on his back, he'll never be able to rest easy again, and the World Government will pursue him as long as he draws breath. Luffy knows this, but when the time comes to save Robin from CP9 in Enies Lobby, he doesn't hesitate to take on the whole world. It's just what friends do.

  17. Luffy Refuses To Fall

  When Luffy and Lucci fight, it isn't a quick contest. They go to absolute war on one another. And when Lucci thinks he's won, having left Luffy spitting up blood on the floor, we see that ... no. Luffy will not leave his feet. He has too much pride, too much grit, and too much determination. Defeat is not an option here. He will stop fighting to retrieve Robin when he's dead.

  18. Luffy Is Reunited With Garp

  For a long time, Luffy's actual flesh and blood family was a mystery. Shanks is kind of a cool uncle and Ace is someone that Luffy considers his brother, but where did Luffy, ya know, come from? As it turns out, his grandpa is the cannonball-throwing Marine Vice Admiral Garp, who is not only just as goofy as Luffy, but also really, really, really strong for being 76. What's his secret? Low carbs? Eiichiro Oda, please let me know.

  19. Luffy Punches The Celestial Dragon

  Luffy can't stand bullies or anyone that relishes the misery of others. So when a Celestial Dragon shoots Hatchan in the auctioneering house, Luffy walks right up to him and turns his face into a catcher's mitt.

  20. Luffy Loses His Crew

   Luffy's darkest hour (so far) comes when, in a fight with Kuma, Kizaru and the Pacifistas, his whole crew eventually gets wiped out and spread across the world. All the while, Luffy is powerless to stop it — his Gum Gum skills no match for Kuma's abilities. It's a truly pitiable thing to see Luffy beat his fists on the ground in futility, something entirely unlike any scene in the series before.

  21. Luffy Covers Sandersonia

   Back in Little Garden, Luffy agreed it wasn't necessary to actually have a reason for the fight between the giants. They were having an honorable contest between warriors. That was enough. Later when Sandersonia's scars were about to be revealed after a battle, Luffy covered them up. He had no interest in killing them or exposing their secrets. That is not what the battle was for. The contest was simply one that he wanted to win so he'd eventually get back to his crew.

  22. Luffy Decides To Save His Brother Before Reuniting With His Crew

   When Luffy learns that Ace is to be put to death, he must make a choice: Get the gang back together or dive into the depths of Impel Down and try to rescue his brother. He ends up choosing the latter, which shows a great deal of trust and respect for his crewmates. He knows they're strong enough to be OK without him for now.

23. Luffy Embraces Mr. 2

    This is just plain wholesome. Luffy's love for his friends is might be the best thing about him.

24.Luffy Falls From The Sky

    Luffy's story isn't just about his quest to find the One Piece, but the formation of a legend. And when Luffy and the other Impel Down escapees plummet from the sky into the Marineford war, you can practically see that legend being written.

  25. Luffy Faces The Admirals

  Yes, Luffy's attempts to kick a frozen log at them goes nowhere. And yes, Luffy is almost immediately knocked down by Kizaru when he tries to rush past him. But the guts in that kid! Facing down three of the most powerful men in the One Piece universe and demanding they give Ace back to him. That is moxie, my dudes.

  26. Luffy Goes Comatose

  Ace is dead. The mission has failed. A brother is lost. And all Luffy can do is go numb and lifeless. He has no words or actions to explain or react. A chunk of his soul has been ripped away.

  27. Luffy Realizes He Still Has His Friends

    Yes, his attempt to save Ace was a bust. But in the most hopeless of times, Jimbei asks him what he still has. And Luffy remembers he still has his friends — friends he has been there for in the past and who will most certainly be there for him later. They are still there. And because they are still there, Luffy's existence has worth.

  28. Luffy Gets An Upgrade

  Reuniting with his crew in Sabaody, it doesn't take too long for Luffy to find a way to show off the results of two years of training. He's been doing some grinding, so his skill tree has some new branches. He's unlocked some new abilities, and he's reached his evolved form. When a Pacifista comes at the Monster Trio (Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji,) they beat the bear out of it.

29. Luffy Decides To Make Fish-Man Island His Territory

    For the most part, Luffy doesn't really care about the dominance sought by other powerful characters. But after he's gotten to know the citizens of Fish-Man Island and he sees the terror caused by Big Mom, he tells her straight-up he's gonna defeat her and take Fish-Man Island under his protection. It's the closest that Luffy has ever gotten to being a character in Goodfellas.

  30. Luffy Allies With Law

  And then, shortly after talking trash to Big Mom, Luffy teams up with Trafalgar Law in a plot to overthrow Kaido, another Emperor of the Sea. It's a real leap forward for Luffy. One day, you're just a kid from East Blue punching everyone that seems mean. The next, you're taking an active role in changing the power structure of the entire world. That's just how it is sometimes, though. As Logic once said, "Who can relate?"

  31. Luffy Has Been "Picking Fights All Along"

    Luffy knows he doesn't just tumble from one situation to another. He isn't just a poor guy caught up in the gambits of powerful evil forces. No, Luffy has definitely chosen to live a life where he will interfere with your best-laid plans if he feels inclined to. And if that includes a lot of fighting, well, so be it.

  32. Luffy Reunites With Sabo

  It's been pretty much non-stop action since the beginning of the Post Time Skip era, and that hasn't really allowed for a ton of emotional moments for Luffy. But when he reunites with Sabo in the coliseum and his scream comes out as a mix of happiness, confusion, and surprise, he finally gets one. Cry it out, buddy. We love ya.

  33. Luffy And His Allies Head For Doflamingo

  From orchestrating a breakout in Impel Down to creating a charge toward Doflamingo with all the allies he met in the tournament to win the Flame-Flame Fruit, Luffy has slowly gone from being the captain of a small crew on a ship with an animal head on the front to being the full-on leader of a Pirate Alliance. Luffy 2020 is what I say.

  34. Luffy Goes Fourth Gear

  Years after the reveal of Second and Third Gear, we get Fourth Gear, a power-up that even more freakishly transforms Luffy's body. It's not graceful, nor is it particularly beautiful to behold, but it gets the job done.

  35. Luffy Beats Doflamingo

  Doflamingo — a man that's been a thorn in the side of nearly everyone in the world for about 15 years of anime history — finally gets taken down. And still, it's only a stepping stone to Wano. Somehow, Eiichiro Oda creates these moments that seem like the biggest events in history, and yet, they're only just the beginning.

  36. Luffy Refuses To Fight Sanji

  Luffy knows Sanji is conflicted and not really a bad guy. And he's also aware of the fact that he'll be creating an even bigger issue if he fights back against his chef. So he just takes the kicks, hoping Sanji sees there's another way out of this. Sadly, it'll be a few episodes before he realizes that.

  37. Luffy Waits For Sanji — And Then Punches — Sanji

    Sanji finding Luffy because his captain's stomach is grumbling super loud is so cartoonish and lovely — because what is Sanji's role if not to feed his captain? Of course, Luffy enjoys Sanji's rain-soaked cookin' and then he punches Sanji for still being a twerp that won't admit what he really feels.

38. Luffy Clashes With Big Mom

    Luffy stood beside Whitebeard, but this is his first real showdown with a Yonko. And it doesn't go very well. Big Mom is easily able to block him, which shows that, while Luffy has come a long way, he's still got a bit farther to go.

  39. Luffy Places The Hat On Katakuri

  Much like the previous covering of Sandersonia's shame, Luffy covers Katakuri's mouth with his hat after their duel. The two combatants fought and earned each other's respect. And so Luffy leaves Katakuri with his pride.

  40. Luffy Knows He's Arrived In Wano Due To The Swords

    That giant baboon is using a sword? Obviously this must be Wano, the land of samurai. That's Luffy logic at its most pure. 

  41. Luffy Promises Tama She Will Not Be Hungry Again

  For the most part, heading to Wano seemed like a pretty impersonal act. The only reason he thought about going there in the first place was because Law seemed pretty confident it was a solid idea. But then he meets Tama and learns that she — along with most of the country — is starving. So his journey to take down Kaido gets some personal stakes. He's now shouldering the hopes of an entire group of people.

  42. Luffy Is Beaten By Kaido

  OK, so Round 1 didn't go so well. Luffy pummeled Kaido with everything he had and Kaido one-shotted him with a melee weapon attack. Luffy has to rethink his strategy and expand his move-set and maybe, with some luck, Round 2 will be a tad more even. I can't wait to see what Luffy moments we have in store when One Piece returns!

  What is your favorite Luffy moment? Do any on this list stand out to you? Let me know in the comments!

      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

  By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[perspective-series]

Werewolf Perspective (2/10)

By @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: None

(Check the reblog for links to the previous chapters!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Logan inspected the dark green stalks, looking up to see it ascend to reach heights four times his own. He began to saw through one of the tinier branches off the main stem, huffing slightly from the exertion.

 Roman tilted his head. “Do you need some help?” Without waiting for an answer, Roman plucked the entire stalk from the ground and held it out to Logan. “There you go!”

Logan blinked, for a moment just gaping at the entire plant was ripped out in front of him. Surely it was the size of a regular tree back in the village.

“I….I only need a sampling.” Logan managed to form coherent words after a moment, only briefly pondering the idea of trying to take the entire plant home with him.

 “Oh, um, here.” Roman ripped off the tiny branch Logan had been working at earlier and held that out to him as Roman tried to put the plant back into the ground. It kind of worked but it was a little crooked now.

“Thanks.” Logan tilted his head, regarding the leaning plant for a moment before taking the sprig and putting it into his bag, which at this point had already become rather full. Indeed, Logan had not fully accounted for the fact that plants within the whispering woods would be this large. 

“Alright, let’s see…” Logan pulled out his list. “Next up is not a flora, but rather there is a location known as the spring of avawren. Its waters are said to hold magical properties. Have you heard of it?”

 Roman grinned. “Of course! It’s actually right behind where I live!” They had purposefully built their house there because of the close proximity to the river after all. “Though I never noticed it had magical properties.” Roman hummed at that thought, wondering what kind of magic it held. He grabbed Logan and started on his way.

“It’s mostly healing properties, although it has to be concentrated correctly to be noticeable.” Logan explained. “Or so the legends say.”

 “Interesting.” He supposed that’s why he hadn’t noticed it. Since Werewolves already had fast healing abilities. They made it to the river in record time, Roman able to see his house about a half mile away. “Here we are.” Roman once again put Logan down.

Logan crouched by the water’s edge, pulling out a large bottle and filling it up. He plugged the lid, shifting the liquid back and forth as he noticed how the water seemed to sparkle. 

“Where is your home?” Logan asked, standing up and taking a look around. Of course, it was hard for him to see past the dense sea of reeds surrounding the spring.

 “Over that way!” Roman pointed towards the distance before realizing Logan probably couldn’t see. He picked the human up to show him. “See?”

Logan peered where Roman was pointing, noticing what looked to be an absolutely massive log cabin. The structure was magnificent, and even to Roman’s scale likely held two stories.

“Impressive.” Logan couldn’t help but note. “Did you construct that all yourself? It seems awfully large.”

 “Oh, no, my packmate and I both built it a few years back. He’s currently inside the house right now.” Virgil was his only packmate, the two never having clicked with any of the other werewolves in their old village. So they had packed up and moved out here. He wondered briefly if Virgil could see him and if he did, he was probably wondering what he was doing.

“Oh.” Logan regarded this new information. “How many packmates do you have?”

 “Just the one. We never clicked well enough with anyone else to bond with them.” Roman shrugged. Sure, most packs held at least 4 wolves where they were from but as long as Roman and Virgil had each other they were okay.

“I see.” Logan was quite the same. Most humans avoided his company, even for reasons other than his experiments. The only exception was his friend Patton who stubbornly refused to abandon him like everyone else. “How many werewolves are usually in a pack? Is it the same as regular wolves?”

 “The least amount is usually four to a pack, the same as giant wolves. Though, I think regular wolves are at least six to a pack, so a little different there.” Roman answered with a shrug. 

“Yes, that’s what I’ve observed.” Logan nodded. He had had his fair share of run in with wolves, though none of them pleasant. It was certainly a welcome discovery to find Roman wasn’t intent on devouring him. Or at least… he had shown no sign of such a desire.

 Roman nodded. “So, anything else you need on your list?” Roman asked, eager to continue to help.

“Well, yes, but…” Logan looked up, noticing how low in the sky the sun had dropped. “I should probably be heading home before it gets much later, it’s already going to be a long trek.”

 Roman frowned, his tail no longer wagging. He didn’t want the human to leave. “Well, maybe you could stay the night with me! My house is just right there after all and it would be no trouble at all.” Roman grinned hopefully.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to intrude.” Logan shook his head. “Besides, I should probably return these ingredients to my lab promptly.”

 “Aww, please Logan. I’m sure Virgil wouldn’t mind the company and I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t actually want you there.” Roman said, practically begging. “Besides, it’s already really dark and I don’t want you getting hurt on the way home.”

The concept of someone caring about his safety was almost foreign to Logan, and briefly he was reminded of Patton. At the very least, Logan didn’t want to risk the safety of his new rare ingredients if he were to be attacked on the way home.

“I suppose one night would be acceptable…” Logan mused.

 “Yay!” Roman cheered, already heading to his house. “This is gonna be great! I’m sure Virgil will be thrilled to meet you!” Probably. Maybe.

“Is Virgil like yourself?” Logan asked, wanting to know exactly what he was getting into.

“Eh, he’s more of an introvert than I am. A bit darker as well and can be a bit sarcastic but he’s a good guy.” Roman explained, silently hoping Virgil would not immediately hate Logan as soon as he smelled him.

Unfortunately, Roman’s hopes went unheard. Virgil sat inside the cottage, sniffing the air. Just like Roman, he had smelled the human as soon as it entered their territory. Now the scent had become intermingled with that of his packmate’s. Virgil let out a jealous growl, claws digging slightly into the kitchen table. What on Earth was Roman doing with a human? The petty little things were so bony they weren’t even worth trying to eat, and they always liked invading nature and claiming it as their own. 

 Roman entered the home and immediately sensed Virgil’s angry emotions. Their eyes then met and he bit his lip and looked down at Logan. Maybe this had been a bad idea…

 “Virgil! How is my wonderful packmate doing on this fine evening?” He asked, putting on a smile.

“Why’d you bring it in here?” Virgil growled.

Immediately Logan regretted his decision to come here, trying to look even smaller as he felt Virgil’s beady gaze upon himself.

 Roman frowned. “He came to our territory on accident, looking for some ingredients. I decided to help him and it is currently too dark for him to go home safely. So I offered for him to stay the night.” Roman explained.

“Terribly sorry, I don’t mean to intrude.” Logan apologized.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Virgil turned his gaze to Roman.

 “Virgil, he is our guest. Please treat him with a little more respect.” Roman tried, holding Logan closer to him.

“Well he’s certainly not my guest.” Virgil huffed, shoving his chair back from the table. “If you want to turn into some sort of human rescue facility, you’re not gonna get any help from me.”

“I can go if it’s really a problem.” Logan offered, looking back and forth between the quarreling wolves.

“Good.” Virgil snarled.

“....I thought you weren’t talking to me?” Logan pointed out, but the look he got in return made him instantly regret speaking up.

 “Okay, Virgil can I speak to you alone for a moment?” Roman put Logan down on the table and smiled at him. “Be right back!” He then pulled Virgil into another room for some privacy.

 “Really Virgil?”

“You’re the one who brought a human into our house!” Virgil retorted. “This is supposed to be you and me space, not you and me and him.”

 “I know! And I’m sorry, I should have talked to you about it first. But there is just something about him. I don’t know what but I couldn’t just leave him to go home out in the dark like this. He’d get hurt!” Roman explained before sighing. “Please, it will just be for tonight. Just be civil?”

“...fine.” Virgil relented. “I’ll stay out of your way and let you do your whole human babysitting shtick. But I don’t want to see him getting into any of my stuff, and come morning he’s gone. Got it?”

 Roman wagged his tail in glee, his ears perked up. “Of course! Thank you so much Virgil!” He hugged his packmate before going out to get Logan. “Good news Logan! Virgil has agreed to let you stay the night!”

“Thank you both for your kind generosity.” Logan smiled as Virgil emerged as well. 

Virgil looked at the human, almost bored as he stalked past the two of them and back into his room.

“...is he always like that?” Logan raised an eyebrow. Logan was not by nature social, but this was on another level.

 “Well...he is a little towards non-packmates -so everyone but me- but he gets worse around humans. He...doesn’t like your kind.” Roman admitted, though it was probably obvious now.

“Noted.” Logan nodded.

 “But he will stay in his room tonight while you stay in mine!” Roman picked Logan up and headed upstairs to his room, setting Logan down on the desk he had up there. “Well? What do you think?” He asked, motioning towards his room.

“Impressive.” Logan said, taking in the craftsmanship of every piece of furniture. It was also astounding to think of the amount of materials that had gone into creating such a structure.

 “Why thank you.” Roman said, despite the fact he didn’t make all of these himself. “So, did you get everything you needed? Cause if not we could also go out tomorrow.”

“There’s still a few items i’d like to acquire.” Logan admitted. “But my bag is becoming full, I’ll have to go home instead.”

 Roman let out a whine before he could help it and hoped that Logan hadn’t actually heard it. He cleared his throat. “Well, I could always make you another bag to fill up and take with you.” Roman suggested. “I know I have some fabric around here somewhere that should work.”

Logan blinked. “I suppose that would work, but I must ask, why are you so eager to help me?”

 Roman’s ears flattened against his head. Not even he was sure why he wanted to help this human so much. Not only had they just met but he had entered their territory! He should have driven him away, not brought him in deeper.

 ...But there was just something about Logan. A feeling that was almost familiar at this point, a feeling that reminded him a lot of Virgil-oh no. Roman’s eyes widened.

 The thing he was feeling was a bond.

 He had bonded with a human.

[jamesbucksiclebarnes]

Rating: Mature: Language, VIOLENCE.

Chapter List: [1] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8] | [9] | [10] | [11] | [12] | [13] | [14] | [15] | [16] | [17] | [18] | [19]

[AO3 Link] | [Fic Page]

Tag List: @crossbowking, @khaleesislytherin

SERIES SUMMARY:

"Not human. She was not human. They all knew it. Could almost feel it, but couldn't make sense of it. That was why they were afraid. Not because of what she used to be Before. But because of what she was now."

Having found herself serving as the right-hand to the Governor for too long, Synnove le Jacques does her best to make things right with the people of the Prison. Stuck beside her partner in crime, her irritatingly obnoxious and hideously problematic best friend, Merle, she does her best to fight back against the monster she has let the Governor become.

CHAPTER TITLE: The Harvesting of Gore.

After barricading the doors with the hideous lime green sofas we had found in the living room, the five of us decided it was best to scavenge through the place whilst we figured out our next move. I was pretty confident both the back and front entrances would hold quite firm against the biters gathered outside, especially if we remained relatively quiet. Sooner or later, they would lose interest, get distracted by another sound off in the distance somewhere. Either that, or Sasha would come back with help. It wouldn’t take her long to realise something had gone wrong. We were all pretty confident about that, which meant the most we could do right now was wait it out.

Ty and Michonne took the first floor whilst Glenn decided to try is luck in the large garage that connected to the western side of the building. Daryl and I ascended the rickety wooden staircase to scavenge through the second floor.

It didn’t take us long to realise there was little there in the way of helpful supplies. After all, most of the rooms upstairs were bedrooms, bathrooms, of a very sparse office space that was practically useless to us. Still, we decided it wouldn’t hurt to bring back some clothing, even some books from the study if we could.

The largest bedroom – besides the main – belonged to what I assumed were teenage sisters. Twins, by the look of it. Their clothing was all the same size, as were their shoes, though the aesthetic of which were practically polar opposite to one another. The sister whose bed rested against the north western wall of the room seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with the colour pink. A series of posters hung from the plaster beside her pink-duvet-ed bed, two of which were of a boy band of which I had some familiarity, and the other was from a fashion magazine. You could tell by looking from one side of the room to the other that these sisters had been vastly different people.

The second sister’s duvet cover was of a dark night sky, her pillows depicting what looked like a still image of a werewolf howling at the moon. Clothing was already scattered across her side of the room, all dark in colour, mostly black. The shoes were another story altogether. This girl had three sets of Goth boots. Three! I mean, power to her, but those shoes were like two-to-three hundred dollars a pair. She must have worked her ass off in order to afford three of them. Besides those, there were a set of runners I knew would likely fit Beth, and a pair of gumboots – or rubber boots, whatever you want to call them – that could come in handy.

I began to put everything together in one giant pile in the centre of the room. Everything I believed would be beneficial to bring back. It felt kind of weird rummaging through their underwear draw, but honestly? We needed them more than they did.

I was halfway through the first sister’s obnoxiously large collection of pink lace underwear when I felt Daryl’s presence in the doorway.

Turning in place, I held up one of the near-fluorescent magenta bralettes and gave him a wide grin. “Isn’t this just the perfect birthday gift for you? It’ll really bring out your eyes.”

Daryl snorted a laugh, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me place the bralette on the ever-growing pile in the centre of the room. “Found anything?”

I gestured to said pile with a grin.

Daryl cocked a brow. “We’re gonna need a damn truck for all that.”

“Never doubt a teenage girl’s ability to overstock their closet,” I remarked with a breathy chuckle, stepping around the pile and moving toward him. “What about you?”

He shrugged one shoulder non-committedly. “Little bits. Ain’t much.”

“Better than nothing at all,” I remarked, to which he gave a nod that did not seem all that convincing. With a frown, I stepped closer to him, tilting my head slightly to catch his lowered gaze. “You okay?”

He nodded, but again, it wasn’t even remotely convincing.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

His gaze slowly lifted to meet mine as his lips spread into a thin line. A muscle in his jaw tensed before he took in a long breath and blew it out through his nose with a shake of his head. “Ain’t nothin’.”

“Oh, it’s something,” I responded, stepping close enough to reach out and touch the bare skin of his shoulder. “Tell me.”

He sniffed before clearing his throat, swallowing back against something I couldn’t quite decipher. “Just… It’s a kids room, ya know?”

My expression softened and I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second before nodding. I understood. It was difficult sometimes to see the remnants of other people’s lives, as dead and splayed open as a corpse on the morticians table. The people that had lived here may well still be alive out there, but the truth of the matter was that the possibility was unlikely. It was never pleasant to think about the sheer amount of death and destruction that had been wrought by this world within the past year. All of the children that would grow up without parents. All of the children that would never grow up at all. My heart constricted painfully in my chest as I looked up at Daryl’s saddened gaze, fingers squeezing the muscles of his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“Yeah. I know.” I took in a deep breath through my nose. “Want me to take it? You can go look through the master, I haven’t even touched that yet.”

Daryl shook his head, but I could in his eyes that he wanted to take me up on the offer. He just didn’t want to admit it.

“Daryl. Go to the master.”

He glanced up at me, slightly startled by the hard, commanding tone in my voice, but the way his expression softened – relaxed, even – at the realization that I was only doing this so he would wouldn’t have to admit being disturbed by the ghost of a child, made me smile.

With a solemn nod, he pushed himself off the doorframe and began to make his way down to the opposite end of the hall, at the pale white door behind which housed the master bedroom. I watched him until he disappeared inside before stepping into the hall myself, turning to look across at the open door of the child’s bedroom.

Something hard stuck in my throat, but I forced myself to swallow it back down as I crossed the hall and stepped inside, taking a deep breath through my nose. The distinct tang of plastic and stale air made me blink. The room was small, with dark blue painted walls and a single bay window that overlooked the eastern fields. A small single bed sat against the northern wall, covered by a dusty Toy Story blanket. The sight of it made me smile slightly, though it faded quite quickly when I remembered the what world we lived in.

Taking a deep breath, I moved further into the room, stepping over to the small wardrobe that had been pushed up against the southern wall. I pulled the draws open and began to rummage through the small clothing, pulling out a good handful and placing it on the dusty bed.

Judith was growing unnervingly quick. Soon enough, she would outgrow the clothes she currently had, and would need more. These toddler-sized outfits would fit her soon enough. Better to be prepared for the future, right?

I was partway through rummaging around in the toybox beneath the windowsill when I saw it. It had barely been a glance through the dusted windowpane, but the glimmering silver of the shed out in the paddock caught my undivided attention almost instantly. Even from this distance, I could almost clearly see the tractor sitting beneath the metallic awning, shielded from the mid-day sun, and the rotary blades that attached to the vehicles front.

The idea began to solidify inside my head before I even had the forethought to truly inspect how idiotic it was.

I closed the toybox and climbed atop its lid, balancing on my knees whilst I peered down, through the window, at the ocean of biters gathered around the base of the house. The distance between the edge of the crowd and the grassy expanse of clear ground behind them was… quite far. It would be a difficult jump, likely too far for a regular human to even dream of making. An Olympian athlete, perhaps, but just a normal, everyday person? No. Definitely not.

While I may not have been an Olympian, I was, in fact, not a regular human, either. I was quite confident I could make that jump.

Without taking a moment to really consider it, I reached out and unlatched the dusty window and pushed it open. All at once, the sounds of groaning biters flowed in through the open space, hitting me with enough force to make me pause in my plans.

During that brief moment of indecision, the sounds of meandering biters drew Daryl’s attention from down the hall. He came striding down the wooden floorboards, appearing in the doorway to see me kneeling by the open window.

“The hell you doin’?” he asked in a hissed whisper.

He closed the distance between us, reaching out to slam the window shut before I had a chance to even blink. The sound of the wooden window frame hitting the sill drew the attention of a handful of biters, causing a surge in attempt to claw their way through the front windows and doors. Thankfully, after waiting with bated breath for a moment, it became clear the barricade and glass were holding.

Daryl turned to look at me, one knee still atop the toybox, his hands pressed against the wooden windowsill. “The hell was that?”

I pointed out to the tractor. “See that?”

“What?”

“There. The tractor.”

“A’ight. Great. The hell do I care about a damn tractor?”

“It’s one of those spinny-death-blade tractors.” I grinned at him. “Think about how many biters we’d cut down with that thing.”

Daryl looked at me blankly for a moment before his brows furrowed. “It’s a what?”

“It’s got those rotating blades at the front of it, look.” I pointed toward it again, knowing full well he was already aware of where it was, and smiled wider.  “I could get out there and hot-wire the fucker.”

“Hell no,” Daryl hissed, pushing away from the window and standing before the toybox with a deep frown. “You’ll get yourself killed.”

I straightened, turning on my knees to look at him. “Just think about how easily that thing will cut through the literal ocean of biters down there. We’d be out of here in a hot minute.”

“Ain’t worth it.” Daryl shook his head, staring down at me with a mix of concern and irritation.

I leant back against the heels of my feet, looking up at him with a pouted frown. For some reason, his instantaneous denouncement of my idea had struck me slightly off guard. I’d expected him to agree, to tell me to go for it. We both knew it’d be dangerous, but surely he trusted I wouldn’t attempt something that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do. But, then, it hit me. This was Daryl.

This wasn’t Merle.

Merle would have leapt on the idea, encouraged me, even. He would have told me how much he wished he had a damn video camera so he could immortally capture my stupid, gory shenanigans on film. The prospect of driving a rotary tractor through a crowd of undead would have excited him. He would have wanted to watch the entire thing from the safety of the overhanging eave, laughing the whole time as he yelled out stupid jokes and moronic commentary on my driving skills.

I felt my face fall before I had a chance to stop it. My gaze slid away from Daryl’s, down to the floor for a brief moment before I took a deep breath and turned in place to look back out the window, mostly to avoid him catching a glimpse at my sudden sorrowful expression.

I think he kind of realised my train of thought before I even had.

Slowly, he sunk down into a sitting position on the empty side of the toybox, turning his head to look at me with a sad frown. “I ain’t him.”

My eyes met his. “I know,” I said. There was no disappointment in my voice, only an undertone of thinly veiled grief.

“I ain’t gonna agree to somethin’ that dangerous just ‘cause it’d be cool to watch,” he continued with a sigh.

“It so would be, though,” I breathed, turning back around in order to sit properly next to him. My booted feet rested against the floorboards beside his, toes tapping against the wood. “I know you’re not him, and I’ve never wanted you to be. You know that, right?”

Daryl swallowed as he nodded his understanding, resting his forearms against his knees and leaning forwards. “I used to want to be like him. Followed him around like a damn dog.”

“Isn’t that just a younger sibling thing?” I asked, cocking a brow.

Daryl snorted, glancing up at me. “I don’t know. Is it?”

“The hell would I know?”

He straightened partially. “You ain’t got any?”

I averted my gaze, looking across the room to the empty doorway with small frown. “That’s… a complicated question.”

His lack of response drew me to look at him, seeing the question in his eyes before he even needed to voice it.

I cleared my throat. “I was, uh… I was adopted. My biological parents, they had other kids to other partners, but… Yeah, it’s hard to explain.” Which was true. The fact that my biological parents were as inhuman as I was made talking about them like the vocal equivalent to walking on black ice. I had to tread carefully each time I mentioned them – which, thankfully, wasn’t often. Most people that knew me were aware of my distaste for speaking on such things. In fact, I usually refused to talk about it in general, but, for some reason, it was oddly easier for me to say these things to Daryl than it was to anyone else.

I really didn’t want to ponder as to why that was.

“We ain’t got nothin’ else to do,” Daryl said softly after a moment.

“There are many things we could do other than talk about my clusterfuck of a childhood,” I stated simply, waving a hand to gesture toward nothing in particular.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Like… Like…” I lifted a hand, holding up a finger to indicate he give me a second to think.

The gesture made him snort a soft laugh.

“Like, play cards,” I said after a moment.

“Cards?”

“Cards. Or, alternatively, we could find some elastic and make a slingshot to fire random novelty items into the crowd of biters?”

“Again, I ain’t my brother,” Daryl responded, but this time it was more in jest than sadness.

“Don’t bullshit me, you’d enjoy that.”

We both laughed softly for a moment before taking near simultaneous deep breaths and sighing. The silence slowly blanketed the room, enabling me the ability to hear Michonne and Ty rummaging around in the lower level of the house. That, and the sudden, unexplained crashing sound that echoed through the house with enough volume to shake the walls.

Both Daryl and I shot up instantly, making short work of the distance between us and the doorway. We dashed down the hall to the railing that looked over the staircase just in time to catch Michonne and Ty bounding up the steps with a panicked Glenn a few paces behind. The sounds of biters filled the air, along with scuffling footsteps as they shuffled their way into the house from the direction of the garage.

I didn’t hesitate, grabbing Daryl’s arm and yanking him back down the hall toward the twin’s bedroom. Michonne, Ty and Glenn followed frantically behind. Once we were all inside, Glenn slammed the door whilst Michonne and Ty pulled the dark bed across to block the door. Barely a second after they’d pushed the bed in place, a resounding thud struck wood on the other side. Quickly followed by another and another, until the wood began to crack and the frame of the bed began to slide across the floorboards.

That was not going to hold.

Without another moment of hesitation, I snatched both Daryl and Glenn’s arms and began to drag them toward the window I’d entered through earlier. I could hear both Michonne and Tyreese following along behind me as I guided Glenn through the open window and onto the overhanging eave on the other side. Michonne followed quickly behind him.

The door began to buckle beneath the onslaught of the dead behind it, the force of it pushing the wooden posts of the bed against the floorboards with a sickening sound.

We all looked between one another, at a loss for what to do next. There was little room for us to fight as a unit. Michonne was just as likely to slice up one of us as she was to eliminate one of the dead with that sword of hers, given the close quarters.

I turned around in place to take in our surroundings, my mind running through a multitude of different scenarios at once, none of which ended in a particularly pretty way.

Until I spotted the window. The one I had climbed through no more than an hour ago.

Without hesitation, I latched onto both Daryl and Glenn’s upper arms and began to pull them toward the other side of the room, only letting go in order to unlatch the window and push it open. I shouted over my shoulder at the other two as I pushed Glenn none-too-gently out the now-open window, reaching out to do the same to Daryl. He pulled away, giving me a pointed look and waved his hand toward the window, gesturing for me to go first.

There was no time for this.

With an exasperated sigh out my nose, I turned to Michonne. “Go through, help Glenn.”

She, thankfully, did as I asked.

“See, it’s easy,” I remarked to Daryl, waving at him to follow along behind her. “Go.”

He ground his teeth but stepped through the window frame just as the doorway to the bedroom gave way. The wood split and crumbled, sending a wave of biters spilling out, onto the mattress blocking their way.

As quick as I could, I reached out and grabbed the back of Tyreese’s shirt, yanking him backwards and away from the undead. He stumbled slightly, but once I’d pulled him past me and toward the window, I steadied him with a hand on his upper arm.

“Go,” I instructed, using my free hand to pull a blade free. “Now. Don’t argue.”

He didn’t. It looked almost as if he wanted to, but he didn’t.

Daryl helped pull the hulking man through the window as quickly as humanly possible, all but pushing him aside in order to reach back through the window and grab my arm.

The dead were scrambling to get back up onto their feet, though most of them fell forwards once they gained their footing, unbalanced by the mattress. Those that had made it across the bed and onto the floorboards were more fortunate in their attempts.

I barely managed to slide across the windowsill in time to avoid being grabbed, though the momentum of the biters attempt brought it through the window alongside me.

My back hit the tiled eave. The biter came sailing through the window, angled to land almost perfectly on top of me. Of course, I’d thankfully read the situation almost perfectly and managed to raise my legs in preparation.

Once the biter landed on the soles of my boots, I launched it over my head, sending it sailing across the eave and down to the ground below.

Without another moment of hesitation, I rolled to the side, barely avoiding a second biter. Daryl reached down and helped me up onto my feet, pulling both of us back a few paces as a flood of biters began to slide through the open window and onto the eave alongside us.

Behind me, Glenn cursed.

I turned to Daryl, pointing up to the second story rooftop with the hand that wasn’t currently holding a knife. “Get up there.”

He pursed his lips in disapproval, knowing I planned to stay down here, but thankfully didn’t argue this time. Nodding to the others, Daryl tossed his crossbow up onto the roof before jumping and grabbing hold of the guttering.

 Once he had hoisted himself up onto the second story rooftop, he reached down to assist Michonne. The two of them then offered their hands to lift Glenn up, leaving Tyrese and I on the first story eave.

One biter pushed through the window, able to wiggle itself free of the crowd that had basically began to plug the hole, toppling over onto the dark roofing brick. It was followed shortly by another. And then, another.

I didn’t waste any more time. The things were slow to get back up onto their feet, I knew that. Smacking Tyrese on the shoulder to get his attention, I lowered myself into a partial crouch and linked my hands together to give him a hoist. He gave me disbelieving look and shook his head.

I scoffed.

It was an understandable reaction, of course. I was a one-hundred-and-sixty pound twenty-four year old, that was true. But that weight was mostly muscle and my body clearly displayed that.

“Just fucking do it, big man,” I hissed, nodding toward my entwined hands.

He let out a sigh, gave me a concerned look, but reached up to grab Daryl’s outstretched hand as he placed his boot in my palms. The man was goddamn heavy, I’d give him that, but with Michonne’s help on his other arm, the three of us managed to lift him up onto the second story roof.

I didn’t get a chance to follow behind him. The biters from earlier had reached us mere seconds after Ty had pulled his leg back over the above ledge. Their outstretched hands reached for me, but I ducked out of the way quite easily, slipping past them until I was on the opposite side of the window from the others. More of them tumbled through the open window, climbing up clumsily onto their feet before shuffling their way toward me. A few of them miss-stepped, unsettling the tiles beneath their feet and sending their stupid asses sliding down, over the edge of the eave and to the ground below.

I continued stepping further and further back as the biters approached. Each step was careful, my inhuman instincts telling me that the edge was rapidly coming up behind me.

It was when I reached the corner and glanced behind me to make sure my feet weren’t going to slip over the edge that I noticed it.

The silver metal glinted in the noonday sun, striking with such a blinding light that my attention was immediately caught, gaze flicking over to its source. Over in the neighbouring field, sitting, alone, unloved, in that three-walled cage… was the rotary tractor.

I looked up at Daryl, who had been shuffling along the rooftop above in order to keep step with me. He saw the mad grin on my face and gave me a very pointed look.

“Syn,” he warned.

I only grinned wider, glancing back over my shoulder toward the farm shed in the distance. There was little in the way of obstacles, if I were being honest. Now that the majority of biters had been drawn inside, the grassy lawn that surrounded the farmhouse was practically empty. The fields still had a few stragglers, sure, but they were of little consequence to me.

“Syn!”

I ignored Daryl’s disapproving plea, taking off at a sprint, carefully placing my feet upon the rooftop tiles until I came to the corner of the next corner of the eave. Without hesitation, I leapt forward and into the empty air.

The ground came up fast beneath me. I expertly absorbed the impact, allowing my legs to bend and my body to roll along the grass before easily jumping back onto my feet and continuing my sprint in an almost fluid motion, turning in place to face the overgrown field between me and that shiny, shiny metal.

Above the wind cascading through my hair, above the sounds of gurgled biters, I heard Glenn let out a, “Go Syn!” and found myself laughing.

I ducked and slid beneath the biters dotting the lawn between the house and the fields, avoiding their outstretched arms with little effort. The fallen barbed wire fence glinted in the midday sun. I jumped over it and continued on in my sprint toward the farm shed.

A smile broke across my face, wide and unrestrained. God, it felt good to run. The wind in my hair, cooling the skin of my face, the sensation of speed as my legs carried me across the ground in long, rhythmic bounds. Even the feel of the long grass brushing against my sides as I cut through it like a knife, was almost euphoric. When had been the last time I’d run for the sake of running? When it hadn’t been for my or someone else’s survival?

Too damn long.

I reached the shed with little in the way of interference.

The tractor sat with its wheels behind wooden planks, the rotary blades connected by a long and admittedly complicated-looking attachment that extended from the engine. Its green paint was faded and flaking, the metal frame that acted as a guard above the driver’s seat was rusted almost entirely through, and the divots inside the tyres had actual spider webs spun within them. A moment of doubt made me pause and frown as I looked at this mess of a machine. It passed quickly and I stepped forward and began to remove the wooden planks from before the wheels, climbing up into the driver’s seat and letting out a breathy laugh.

This was going to be awesome.

If I could start the damn thing.

It took some fiddling. More than I would ever readily admit. But, eventually, I found the wires I needed, hidden away in the small gap between the barely-held-in-place bonnet and the long pole that lead to the driver’s wheel. Expertly, I used my knife to strip their ends and touched them tentatively together.

The tractor roared to life; the purr of its engine almost deafening. I let out a mad cackle before using the rusted metal of the guard to climb into the driver’s seat. The long gear stick slid into place with a painful amount of grinding, but once the thing got moving, it got moving. It was a bumpy ride, that was for sure, but I enjoyed every goddamn minute of it. Making my way through the long grass, I searched the dashboard in front of me for the right button to start the rotary blades. Thankfully, whoever had owned this block of land seemed to have the memory of a goldfish, if all the labelling on the dash was of any indication.

As I drew closer to the farmhouse, some of the biters came tumbling out of the front door, their attention caught by the deafening sound of the tractor’s shuddering motor. I waited until I had cleared the barbed wire to press the button clearly marked “Blades”.

They spun to life with a metallic purr, slowly at first, but gaining momentum by the second.

The first biter that stumbled in front of me was eviscerated so quickly, I barely had a chance to use my forearm to block my face from the spray of blood and gore.

I let out another mad cackle. “Fuck yeah!”

From that moment on, I drove around the farmhouse in a neat circle, taking out biter after biter with my spinning blades of death, and gaining quite the little tag-along crew behind me as I went. Above me, on the rooftop, the other three watched my antics with a mixture of expressions.

Daryl looked slightly concerned, though the expression was partially obscured by the small smile that had formed on his face. Michonne just looked straight up amused, whilst Tyrese seemed to be confused as to whether he should be disgusted or just happy I was willing to almost literally bathe myself in biter guts to save their asses.

Glenn, of course, was not shy in his blatant enjoyment. He and Michonne yelled out encouragements, pointed out biters that I may have missed from my vantage point, and laughed with each of my exclamations as my tractor and I tore through the undead like an oversized, portable blender.

Bits of biter were being thrown about in all directions, coating me in an immeasurable amount of undead viscera. Honestly, though. It didn’t even bother me. I was having way too much fun.

Morbid though it may have been, cutting through a group of bloodthirsty undead creatures with a rotary tractor was rapidly becoming the highlight of my entire year.

By the time I caught up to the back end of the train of biters following along behind me, the sun was practically beginning to set. I sped up a gear, using the open end of the dirt driveway to turn around, and began to run through the train of biters with increased sped. My mad cackling was almost louder than the tractor engine, though I had to stop quite suddenly as the spray of blood and guts was getting dangerously close to my open mouth.

Gross.

I was right at the end of the line of biters when the old tractor’s engine made a loud clanging sound and sputtered out of commission. A handful of biters were left, shuffling toward me at a very unimpressive speed. Half of them marched right into the exposed blades of the now-stationary rotary, impaling themselves. It was almost comical.

I reached out to grab either side of the rusted metal guard in front of me and pulled myself up, climbing atop the thin bonnet of the tractor. A few of the biters had managed to walk around the pointy thing and were now working on surrounding me. The first one to reach the side of the tractor dropped before they even had a chance to reach up for me.

Daryl.

I could see the lime green nock sticking out the back of the biter’s skull.

Drawing the blades from my belt once again, I slid down the side of the tractor’s bonnet, landing with one of my knives already imbedded at the crown of a biter’s head. I pulled it out and kicked the limp body, sending it sprawling into the three biters currently in between me and the front door of the farmhouse. They all fell backwards in a heap and I stepped forward, driving my blade into each of them one by one whilst they were on their backs.

Straightening as I pulled my knife free of the last one, I took a moment to look around. The dirt was stained almost completely red now, with pits of viscera and gore splattered about the once pristine lawn. Even the white wooden panels that made up the entirety of the farmhouse’s exterior was splattered with crimson.

I’d made a damn mess. And it was absolutely, disgustingly awesome.

Barely more than five biters were left. They milled about on the other side of the tractor, making their way diligently toward me. It took little effort to dispatch four of them, with Daryl taking the final one out with another arrow.

Once I had collected the two he had fired, I began to make my way toward the farmhouse door, sliding past the red car I’d unceremoniously parked by the stairs. I heard their footsteps as the three of them began to make their way back inside, through the upstairs window, whilst I cleared out the handful of biters that had remained on the ground floor.

Glenn’s voice echoed through the house as he reached the bottom stair, catching sight of me standing in the archway that lead to the living room. “That was awesome! You – Oh, my God. You look like a horror movie.”

I glanced down at my clothes, once black and grey, now completely covered in blood and small chunks of gore. Reaching up, I plucked what appeared to be part of an ear that had been caught on the edge of my jacket pocket’s zipper and flicked it outside. “Risk of the trade, my friend.”

I reached up to rub my hand over my face. My palm came away sticky. Gross.

“I do not want to know what my hair looks like right now,” I remarked with a grimace. Getting blood out of near white-blonde hair was a bona fide nightmare.

Michonne and Ty reached the bottom of the staircase next, coming to a stop when they spotted me.

“If Carrie were a sister,” Tyrese said, partially in disgust, partially in amusement. I don’t think even he knew how he felt about what he had just watched transpire. “You’d look like her right now.”

Michonne moved to the side as Daryl reached the ground floor, allowing him to pass by as I lifted the hand holding his arrows up toward him.

“That was stupid,” he grunted as he snatched them from my grip.

“But awesome.”

He didn’t respond, but the way his eyes lightened slightly, and the corner of his thin lip twitched upward told me he somewhat agreed. Without a word, he reached into his back pocket and pulled the red cloth he always kept there out, handing it to me.

“Good thing Hayden got the showers working,” Glenn remarked with a grin, stepping closer to me and running his forefinger along the sleeve of my jacket. It came away wet and crimson, which made his grin turn to a grimace.

I laughed, lifting Daryl’s cloth up to wipe some of the blood from around my eyes, lips, and beneath my nose. The smell was probably the worst part, worse than even the sensation of blood and gore on my skin. It was irritatingly sticky. The sleeve of my jacket would stick to the leather body whenever I moved, and my jeans felt extra uncomfortable when I walked. Still, the smell of rotting gore was not pleasant, especially not to an overly sensitive nose like mine.

“Come on,” Michonne said after a moment, stepping past us toward the front door. “We should load up the car and get the hell out of here.”

[caatws]

the game (chp. 3)

(read chp. 1 or chp. 2 on ao3!)

(read on ao3!)

Gamora waits.

The universe continues on from that fateful day, in the Terran year 2018, because she lets it.

She does not allow the dusted to return. She doesn’t raise a hand to the few pieces left on the board, in their absence.

For the first time, she sits back and watches the universe move on, trying to make sense of Thanos’ actions.

Within one Terran month, Thanos destroys the Soul Stone.

She feels it—feels a deep, shattering, rift in her very being, but she still doesn’t budge, because Thanos may have destroyed this year’s Soul Stone…but not the ones of years’ past.

(Honestly, her mind struggles to comprehend it all, because she is mortal and not meant to exist out of time with the stone, but there is no other way.)

But with the destruction of the stone came the destruction of her ability to leave it, to resurrect the dusted and live among them.

Part of her panics. This was a good move on his part.

But it’s not over. It can’t be.

She continues waiting.

What’s left of the Avengers—plus her sister and Rocket—track down Thanos to his garden and kill him, shortly after he destroys the stones.

This is not her victory; it’s quite the opposite, in fact. If Thanos is removed from the game, then the game itself is ended.

Thanos knows this. And the few times she feels his presence in the Soul World, she can detect his sneers and questions, reminding her this is another loss.

But, once again, she doesn’t budge.

In total, she waits five Terran years.

It doesn’t feel like it in the Soul World. She lives out of time.

But that’s when things start getting interesting.

The Avengers decide to use time travel to get the Infinity Stones. It's not a bad plan, considering it's, well, their only plan, but Gamora already senses things will go south.

After all, only she knows the rules of the Soul Stone.

In practically every single past game, she's explained it to everyone, after returning to life with them.

But that never occurred this time around. So no live soul knows—not even Thanos, as the Thanos who did know has already perished.

Somehow, they split their forces up in such a way that two specific Avengers with an established deep, intimate, personal bond are the ones tasked with retrieving the Soul Stone, and Gamora figures the faintest of echoes from past games have swayed everyone's thinking in that direction.

She senses when the two Avengers in question arrive at Vormir and begin ascending the mountain.

She’s come to know each of the Avengers intimately over the…however many years it’s been, that she’s played this game.

Clint Barton. Also known as Hawkeye. He had a wife and family—all lost in the snap. Gamora usually gives them back to him. This time, she didn’t, and instead watched him turn to ruthless slaughter in his efforts to cope. She tells herself that when everything is over and she’s won, she will apologize to him personally.

Natasha Romanoff. Also known as the Black Widow. Gamora sees herself in her—a child stripped of her childhood, raised by monsters to kill others, for some grand purpose a child could never comprehend, but is expected to die for. Unlike Clint, Natasha channeled her grief into attempts to preserve whatever life left after Thanos, and even held out hope that the snap wasn’t the end. An impressive reaction, considering Natasha’s past. Gamora takes notes.

Both are lone wolves, from what Gamora’s observed. But both have learned to work in team settings and have given themselves up for those they consider family and friends.

On Vormir, a fight breaks out between the two of them for who must be sacrificed for the Soul Stone.

And Gamora knows it’s time to stop the game, then and there, because there's only one way this can end—a way she cannot, will not condone, because no one deserves to know this life, the endless cycle.

So, she stands, and says, “We have to reset."

But her child self doesn’t move.

Clint and Natasha teeter closer to the edge.

“No one else is supposed to die this way,” Gamora says, desperate.

Her child self just scrunches her nose, contemplating.

“We can stop this.” Gamora grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her. “Why won’t you stop this?”

“It’s a valid sacrifice,” she says.

Natasha hangs off the cliff, about to let go of Clint’s hand.

“She wanted nothing more than to be with her family again,” her child self continues. “She’s giving up that wish to save them.”

Gamora releases the child, and tries to reset everything herself. She closes her eyes and concentrates, but…

“This is the key to victory,” the child says, and holds up a hand to Gamora.

Orange fills her vision and she falls.

Natasha Romanoff also falls.

Gamora comes to beside Natasha's body. She looks around, but her child self is nowhere in sight.

She looks down at Natasha, and finds herself feeling…numb.

Her mind’s racing with a lot of other things—grief, guilt, anger, confusion.

But in her heart…nothing.

Because this is the first time she won’t be alone in many years.

It’s a strange pill to swallow. Too many emotions to feel at once.

Instead, Gamora thinks back to the countless games she spent working closely with Natasha, plotting against her father. She recalls how intimately they came to knew each other, fellow children of monsters who stole them away from their homes and the childhoods they deserved to use them for their own agendas. Where Peter and the other Guardians couldn’t quite understand Gamora’s past trauma, Natasha was there, reminiscing in her own experiences that left her struggling to do what little good she could do in her world.

She thinks back to the child’s—the stone’s—face, curious and ruthless and unwilling to prevent this tragedy.

Only then does it hit her, and she cries out, over Natasha’s unconscious body, for the second life to be saved, but ruined, by the Soul Stone and its games.

Sometime later, Natasha slowly sits up and look around, expression hesitant.

“Hello,” Gamora says calmly from behind her, trying to maintain a relaxed, yet still defensive, stance, in case she attacks, because this Natasha will not recognize her, and the realization hurts Gamora more than she thought it could. “You’re the one they call Widow."

Natasha looks unsure of what to make of Gamora. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Anyone. Everyone.” Gamora almost smiles. “You’re one of the most dangerous women in the galaxy.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” Gamora says. “Because they call me the most dangerous woman in the galaxy.”

Natasha’s eyes dart around her quickly, and her hands move to where Gamora knows her weapons would normally be. “Who are you? And where the hell are we?”

“My name is Gamora,” she says, slowly. “And this is the Soul World.”

Natasha calms down fairly quickly after that, once it’s clear Gamora doesn’t pose an actual threat. She paces around a bit, trying to work everything out in her head. Gamora watches.

“What do you last remember?” Gamora asks.

“I remember…going to space. No, not just space—time travel. With…” Natasha pauses. “Clint. Oh my God.”

“He’s fine,” Gamora says.

“The Soul Stone…did he get it?”

Gamora can feel him carrying the stone—carrying them—back to the rest of his team, heart heavy with grief. “At your expense.”

“It had to be done,” Natasha says, boldly, without any hesitation. “Whatever it takes to bring everyone back. And stop that purple son of a bitch.”

Gamora wonders just how far Natasha is willing to take this "whatever" to save the universe.

They watch the rest of the timeline play out together, and the Avengers try to gather up the rest of the Stones to reverse Thanos’ snap. Banner snaps his fingers with his own Infinity Gauntlet, and the world around Gamora and Natasha practically comes undone.

Suddenly, Gamora feels the souls of the dusted leave all at once.

It’s a strange feeling—one she’s never had before, as the typical gatekeeper of the souls, controlling when they’re released.

Now someone else has taken over the controls.

“I can’t believe we just,” Natasha pauses, gesturing vaguely. “We just sit here?”

“There isn’t much else we can do,” Gamora says.

“I don’t like it.”

Gamora doesn’t reply.

Sure enough, the Avengers triumph against Thanos again—for real, this time. It may be a Thanos who doesn’t know what’s to come, yet, regarding the stones and the snap and most definitely not their game, but it’s something.

And then Steve Rogers goes back in time to return the Soul Stone, because he's an honorable man Gamora's come to respect but question, and Natasha no longer owes a debt.

She’s a free woman.

“Come with me,” she begs Gamora.

“I can’t.”

“You have someone—your family—all waiting for you,” Natasha points out, as if Gamora has a choice in the matter. She bites back a cutting reply that would’ve reminded Natasha of the fact.

Gamora settles for, “So do you.”

“I’m not leaving you,” Natasha insists, and Gamora swallows back the sudden urge to cry.

“You have to,” she says.

“I’ll come back for you.”

“Natasha—“

“I’ll—I’m gonna figure it out,” Natasha says. “I swear. I will. I’m coming back.”

Natasha fades completely then. Gamora wipes a stray tear from her eye.

“Yes,” she whispers. “You will.”

This is not her victory, nor does she believe it’s the most victorious outcome for the people she’s come to love and admire after countless games who have no memory of her nor any knowledge of her power.

She can get them a better ending—get everyone a better ending.

So, she resets.

This time, after the snap occurs and the dust settles, a familiar face joins her in the interim.

“Why am I here?” Natasha asks. “What—where…?”

“Just give it a moment,” Gamora says calmly. “It’ll come back to you.”

As it does, Gamora watches Natasha’s face embark on a journey of expressions, visualizing her mental process, before Natasha finally settles for a soft, “What the fuck?”

“You're back in the Soul World,” Gamora says, an echo of their first meeting. “And you can now wield the power of the Soul Stone. With me. To defeat Thanos.”

Natasha blinks. She looks like she’s about to say something, raising a hand and opening her mouth.

Then she turns abruptly and walks away.

Gamora takes a few steps after her. “Where are you going?”

“Somewhere. I don’t know. Anywhere.” Natasha continues walking. “Just. Not here.”

Gamora watches her walk until she fades into the orange hues, only for Natasha to reappear on the opposite side of where she’d walked to, now walking toward Gamora.

“There is nowhere but here,” Gamora says.

Natasha stops. “This is above my pay grade.”

It's a shitty fate that Gamora doesn't know how to justify. But a selfish part of her relishes in the fact that she won't have to do this alone anymore.

So, Gamora gestures to a nearby pillar, and moves to sit down. "We have a lot to catch up on."

[djprincessk]

Why Usagi being Sailor Cosmos would be a really bad god awful thing in the context of the series

Some people probably read the title and kept scrolling because they really really want Usagi to be Sailor Cosmos and that’s their thing and they want it. That’s totally fine.

Some people are still reading this because they really really wanna pick apart why I’m wrong and that’s fine too. So lemme start off with this:

Howdy! I’m a Sailor Moon nerd and I love the series and all its incarnations! This is not really a persuasive argument more than it is me sharing my opinion about why Sailor Cosmos being Usagi goes against everything the series stands for. I’ll present supporting context from the manga, and if you end up agreeing with me, cool! But if you don’t wanna be convinced and you wanna stick to your theory, rad! Do your thing! I’m not gonna fight that!

I’m going to leave out the arguments that I’ve seen a lot before: being unable to transform after becoming queen, the silver crystal only allowing a thousand years of life, etc. But here’s my opinion and I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, so here we go:

Sailor Moon is a series about breaking free of the past. The timeline of the story starts off with Queen Serenity reincarnating everyone (except herself) and sending them to the future in order to have a better life for her daughter and her friends. She doesn’t rebuild the fallen Earth and Moon Kingdoms and reset the timeline (probably because the Silver Crystal doesn’t have enough power for that, but LET’S NOT GOT THERE), she doesn’t send HERSELF forward with them. She stays behind and dies. Trusting the future to her daughter, despite knowing that Metallia and Beryl would likely return at some point due to Queen Serenity’s failure at completing the seal.

Queen Serenity fucked up and left Usagi with a dangerous mission because of her mistakes, but she also first and foremost wanted Usagi to be happy.

So point #1: Usagi being Sailor Cosmos means that Queen Serenity’s sacrifice failed.

Sailor Cosmos lost everything. The idea that Usagi will have to do that all over again is heartbreaking.Going by the manga, Usagi lost everything in the Silver Millennium and AGAIN when Galaxia came around (Galaxia even killed her cats, man). To lose her friends and family and loved ones for presumably a third time would be/should be unbearable. Usagi living long enough to become Sailor Cosmos, or reincarnating into Cosmos, would be tragic. Queen Serenity gave her life to give Usagi a chance at a peaceful life -- to have a chance to earn a peaceful life for her and her loved ones -- and failed. Because Usagi had to defy whole established canon to do what others in her own bloodline couldn’t.

And in a series that it from beginning to end about hope and securing the future for others, Usagi having to be the eternal martyr for the universe is FUCKED UP.

Speaking of securing the future...

Point #2: What about Chibiusa?

If the Dark Kingdom Arc was about resolving the past, the Black Moon Arc was about securing the future. Literally. I mean, they go to the future and fix it. You can’t get more literal than that. Not only does Sailor Moon defeat Death Phantom, but Neo Queen Serenity helps Chibiusa realize her own power gives her the ability to fight, and by the time we see Chibiusa in the Galaxia arc, she’s already in eternal form, along with her senshi team, bravely leading her team at a much younger age than Usagi was when she started out. And Chibimoon will eventually become Sailor Moon (they can’t all just be called Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Moon forever), and she’ll ascend to levels beyond eternal, and her descendants even more so, all of whom will strengthen the Silver Crystal as they grow as soldiers. Hell Chibiusa herself will make the eternal forms look like a joke by the time she’s done.

So why Usagi?

The idea that Usagi is Sailor Cosmos implies that no one else in the royal line could get it done. Queen Serenity is able to secure a peaceful future for her daughter...and that’s where it stops. The lack of hope is kind of crushing??? I don’t think that Sailor Moon isn’t allowed to fail, per se, my problem is that Usagi has to be the one to rise as Sailor Cosmos. In the time from the end of NQS’s reign to the time of Sailors Chaos and Cosmos, there was not a single Sailor Moon as good as Usagi, and as much as I love her, that’s not good!

This may be hurtful because I know some SM fans hate this show, but, if Usagi is Cosmos, you know what magical girl series does hope better? This one:  

LET ME EXPLAIN: By the end of the series (I’m leaving Rebellion out of this cause that’s a different discussion), thanks to Madoka’s sacrifice, magical girls are guaranteed to leave the world a better place than how they found it, rather than cause despair that cancels out the hope they gave to the world, making their battles meaningless. Even if the world never recognizes magical girls, the warriors themselves realize that they’re sacrificing themselves to make their world better. 

In the context of the Sailor Moon Manga, Usagi being Sailor Cosmos means that that did not happen. The future is so fucked that the original Sailor Moon had to come back and fix everything, while Madoka left the future of her world to future magical girls. 

Point #3:

IT’S A METAPHOR.

I know that you know that “You will always live eternally” is a metaphor. But yelling “it’s a metaphor” is fun, so there ya go. Try it sometime. Love yourself. Anyway, Usagi serves way better to the future of the story as a beacon of hope, rather than a literal eternal warrior. Usagi’s show of bravery and hope in the final chapters of the series inspires Cosmos to keep fighting Chaos in spite of her losing everything in her battle. Usagi gaining power and giving her power to the galaxy cauldron gave power to the future Sailor Moon without her having to be the one suffering. Usagi’s final act of bravery lived throughout the ages in a clearly tangible way, and affected the future and gave a distant future Sailor Moon hope to stand on her own like she did. All without having to deny growth in her own royal line by fighting herself. She has lived forever through the Silver Crystal’s power, and that’s far more important than literally living forever. Usagi living her thousand years as NQS and being with her family and friends and dying knowing she’s done all she could in her lifespan as Sailor Moon and Queen is a beautiful and fitting end for our princess, and one I think Queen Serenity would want for her daughter.

I’m actually quite fond of the idea of Sailor Moon being a reincarnation of OG Queen Serenity. And to me it makes a lot of sense. Serenity couldn’t seal Metallia completely because of her grief, so maybe Sailor Cosmos couldn’t properly use the Lambda Power because of her grief over her losses. Serenity having a chance to show the courage that we’ve already seen from Usagi would be way more interesting to just seeing another supe’d up Usagi. And this series is always about trying again in spite of everything, right? We’ve seen Usagi’s second chance, why couldn’t we get the same for Queen Serenity? 

In conclusion, I don’t think Usagi as Cosmos works on either a canon level or a theme level. And it wouldn’t fit within the hopeful theme of series. 

TL;DR - Usagi as Sailor Cosmos makes Queen Serenity’s sacrifice moot, Chibiusa and all her descendants useless, gives no reason for future Sailor Moons to exist because Usagi has to do it all herself, and it craps on the idea of power being instilled through hope instead of fighting. And it’s okay to disagree with me. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 

[sweetautumnwine]

Music Prompt: "A Little Wicked" -Valerie Broussard

A Little Wicked

Killua trailed his fingers along the craggy wall of his cave, collecting droplets in the grooves of his hand. Storms soaked the soil above, and he found the taste of earth-traveled water more refreshing than that which was dredged up from wells and rivers. Even when served in bejeweled chalices, it could not compare. He would plunge his hands into wooden buckets scavenged from carriage wrecks and drink deeply, spilling some down his chest. The cold would seep through his tunic, but the fire he nursed dried it faster than towels ever could.

He was a long way from the palace. In some ways, Killua had come to appreciate the rustic life, how he’d developed useful skills and learned to survive without tutors and manservants, but the stones he assembled near the mouth of his cave could never compare to the throne he’d lost.

Temptation had ruined him.

Settling onto his malformed chair, he gazed out into the rain, at the flashes of light as they shattered the sky. Absently, he conjured tendrils of dark blue from his fingers, made them dance above his palm, before closing his fist and dispelling them into motes. He’d been so close to receiving the title of heir to the throne, had polished the crown himself and heard his father’s blessing through the cracks in the walls. At night, he practiced his speech to recite at the feast which would follow the announcement, thanking his family, his advisors, and his nation.

But with promise comes fear. His older brother, Prince Illumi, had not been considered for the throne since Killua’s birth. There were rumors of illegitimacy that could not be properly dismissed, and the king determined it would be best to pass on the title to one whose birthright was clear. As much as Illumi feigned acceptance, his neutrality carried with it a bitter edge.

He came to Killua in the evenings, after training sessions, and weave doubts. You’re too weak to lead a nation, he’d say. Father will never trust his council to you. He’ll make you king in name only. You have to prove yourself worthy if you want to rule like him.

Killua scheduled more meetings with retired generals, sparring with soldiers each day until he broke bones and was resigned to bedrest. Not once did the king visit. It was as Illumi said; weakness would never be tolerated on the throne.

Days into his confinement, Killua awoke with a stack of tomes beside his bed and a note from his brother. If you can’t train your body, the note read, train your mind instead.

Magic was forbidden. The people saw it as a defiance of the natural order, and those who pursued its study were often imprisoned, banished, or executed, depending on the extent of their abilities and the severity of their crimes. But Killua, plagued by fear, unlatched the lock on the first book and read under the light of the moon anyway, poring over pages and committing knowledge to memory. As much as he paled in comparison to his older, more experienced brothers, Killua possessed an intellect that rivaled court physicians and scholars alike; unfortunately, it was not simple intelligence alone that made a great leader, and Killua was never recognized for his abilities.

The more he studied, the more powerful he grew. Soon, he was able to conjure a familiar, a spectral shapeless thing dubbed Alluka who demonstrated first the ability to heal wounds. When he emerged from his bedroom weeks sooner than what had been deemed necessary, suspicion arose, and though Killua sensed he was being watched, he assumed more guards had been posted in anticipation of his coronation announcement rather than to investigate him.

He grit his teeth and curled his fingers around a rock by his thigh, expelling dark sparks from his fingertips into the cracks until the stone crumbled under his palm. Three years had passed since he’d been betrayed and discovered, and though the king had been merciful enough to banish him rather than condemn him to death by stoning, Killua couldn’t help but cling to his rage. He’d honed his skills further while in isolation, had strengthened his relationship with Alluka and helped her grow stronger, too, and someday, he would storm the castle and seize the throne for himself, the rightful heir.

For now, he fostered patience, watched the rain just beyond his reach and felt the thunder in his soles. Storms would pass, and night would fall. And soon enough, his time to strike would come.

War was a waiting game, above all else.

At the base of the mountain, Gon planted both hands firmly on either hip and craned his neck back, squinting at the peak. Turning to his trembling guide, he smiled. “And the cave’s near the top?”

“Y-yes, but… You really shouldn’t go up there,” the young man said, fidgeting. “It’s dangerous. No one ever comes back the same as they were when they went up — if they come back at all.”

“Well it is a long trip,” Gon said, shrugging. “They’re bound to be a bit dirty.”

The guide shook his head. “You don’t understand. They come back different, changed. The prince…” He gulped, lowering his voice. “He knows magic, better than anyone in the history of this land.”

Gon’s eyes glittered with excitement. “Really? I really want to meet him then!”

Mouth agape in disbelief, the guide cast his eyes heavenward. “If you’re so keen to die young, go ahead. But if you manage to return and you aren’t exactly right, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I would never lie about something like that,” Gon said. “You’ve been very helpful. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me? It’s gonna be a great adventure, I can tell.”

With a feeble, dismissive wave of his hand, the guide turned back toward the distant town. “You couldn’t pay me enough to join you, kid,” he said, sounding weary. “Best I can do is wish you good luck and say a prayer in our chapel.”

Even though the man had already begun his journey home, Gon bowed his head in appreciation. “Thanks, mister! I’m sure I’ll see you again soon!”

Interlocking his fingers, Gon stretched his arms out in front of himself before bending forward to touch his toes. He loosened up his knees and elbows, and leaned back as far as his spine would allow. The sky above was clear, baring only a few sparse clouds in sight, but Gon’s nose caught wind of a storm in the distance, blowing in from the east; it wouldn’t hit for several hours, and Gon was confident enough in his climbing ability that he was sure the weather wouldn’t affect his goal. With a final, filling breath, he approached the mountainside and reached for a handhold.

For years, Gon had traveled alone, perpetually seeking his next adventure. He’d learned to forage and scavenge, and he was often more comfortable in the forest than in the city; there, among the trees and wildlife, he felt he could truly breathe. Though he lived for the excitement that came with treasure hunts and cryptid chases, he longed to one day locate his father, who followed a similar path long before Gon could even read the wanted posters in the tavern. Still, Gon was determined to strengthen his own skills in strength, stamina, and survival before officially pursuing his goal, and the more dangerous the mission, the better.

His calloused hands easily scoured the wall for ledges, and even the steepest slopes did not deter him. He never feared the height nor even the fall. It was the sight of clouds drawing closer, the sensation of air thinning as he ascended, that drove him higher, as if reaching the peak would grant him something spectacular.

Not halfway to his goal, Gon paused and sniffed at the air, furrowing his brow. The winds had brought the storm much sooner than expected, and if he wanted to beat the rain, he would have to move faster and risk injury or descend and try another day. Admitting defeat was hardly an option, however, so he rolled back his shoulders and hoisted himself higher, scraping his knees against the rough stone and ignoring the path of blood he left behind.

By the time he spotted the lip of the cave, the tingle of electricity in the air raised the hairs at the back of his neck, and he shivered at the sudden drop in air pressure. This storm would be a bad one. Before Gon could even begin to regret his decision, he sucked in a fresh breath and clambered up the rest of the way, tearing open his palms and launching himself over the ledge, rolling into shelter.

Chest heaving, Gon lay by the curved wall, eyes watched the dark expanse of sky now visible. From his angle, he could see nothing by the storm clouds — no trees, no distant mountains, nothing at all. He drew his knees closer to his chest, and with a sigh of relief, let himself shudder into slumber, if only to rest his aching limbs.

From the depths of his cavernous home, Killua sensed the approaching rain. Storms occurred so frequently, it was a wonder how the surrounding valleys had yet to be washed away entirely. Still they stood, resilient as ever. On optimistic days, Killua reasoned he could stand to learn something from them.

It was not an optimistic day.

He’d awoken near noon from a haunting nightmare, one that left him soaked in sweat and with a headache severe enough to rival war injuries. Alluka roused herself from slumber at the first sign of consciousness and brushed his temples to ease the pain, but the effects would linger throughout the day. Even as he studied, practiced conjuring spectral soldiers and communing with disparaged heroes of the past, he couldn’t shake the hollow halls he’d wandered in, how the torchlight painted everything gray, even the familiar tapestries. He’d committed the palace to memory, and such princely measures did nothing but cause him agony in his exile.

When the storm grew closer, Killua wiped his brow with cool water and draped a cloak around his shoulders for warmth. “We’ll watch the storm again today,” he said, motioning for Alluka to join him. “I want to study lightning more, learn to harness it. Imagine my father’s face when I come to the castle gates wielding bolts like a god. He’ll have no choice but to surrender.”

Though Alluka did not respond with words, she brushed against his shoulder as he walked, spreading warmth through the fabric to greet his skin.

As they neared the entrance, Killua slowed, detecting a disturbance. He held out a hand to encourage Alluka to halt. “Someone’s here,” he said, and before she could grow fretful, he bolted forward, summoning a web of magic between his hands to capture and subdue the intruder, while also concealing the sound of his footsteps with a shadowed shroud. Beyond simple strength and wit, Killua had trained extensively in stealth, and magic only enhanced his abilities.

He rounded a corner and emerged, full speed, into the largest hall of the cave, and at the sight of the boy slumped against the wall, he froze.

It was not like Killua to hesitate. But the boy’s eyes had flashed open upon Killua’s entrance, as though he’d sensed his presence in spite of the magical interference.

The boy sat up straighter, eyes wide and mouth hanging open to bear teeth and tongue. “It’s you; it’s really you,” he gushed, leaning forward. He placed both hands on the cave floor for support, wincing when the gravel dug into his wounds. He grinned anyway. “You’re amazing, Prince Killua, you know that?”

Killua dropped the web of magic, let it fade into the floor by his feet. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken to another person who hadn’t immediately demanded a fight, or who hadn’t declared the existence of a bounty in return for his head. Though Killua easily dispatched those who trespassed, this boy was different. He spoke kindly, with something close to reverence in his voice, and showed no inclination of waging battle.

“Who are you?” Killua asked.

The boy chuckled. “Just a traveler,” he said, and Killua recognized this as a severe understatement. “You can call me Gon.”

“Leave,” Killua said. He didn’t like how his senses had grown heightened, how his heartbeat felt thick. “Get out of here and never come back.”

Gon weakly looked out to the rain, at the spears of lightning, and his shoulders shook. “I’ll die if I go out now.”

“So?”

“So,” Gon said, with a surprising amount of vehemence, “I don’t want to die right now. I’ve got stuff I want to do. Can’t I stay until the storm passes?”

Blinking, Killua took a single step back. The boy’s charming adamance and foolish rebellion disarmed him. He swallowed, then turned sharply away. “Fine. Just until it passes. Then leave and never come back. I’ve got my own destiny.”

Relieved, Gon sprawled out on the damp cave floor, stretching his back and groaning one as he extended his legs. “Thanks,” he said, closing his eyes. “You’re a lot nicer than people say. I thought for sure you were gonna turn me into a toad or something.”

“I still could,” Killua said, eying the boy. “Don’t tempt me.”

Gon laughed, folded his arms so that his hands cushioned his head. “Fair enough. I won’t bother you anymore after this. Promise.”

As the boy’s breathing grew steady, Killua faced him fully, noting the dirty clothes, adventurer’s gear, and the raw wounds marring his skin. Drawing closer, Killua raised a hand to summon Alluka to his side. “Heal him,” he said, surprising himself. At her hesitation, he gave her a stern look. “If he dies in this cave, I’ll have to deal with a dead body, and I’m not in the mood to dig another grave. Just do it. Please.”

Alluka obeyed as Killua watched her work, saw the skin expel dirty and stone and replenish flesh as though no injury had ever been there. Her work was always impeccable, supernaturally perfect, and with a start Killua realized that this was the first time he’d extended her power to someone outside himself.

His lips twitched, a sharp breath huffing past his teeth. “Congratulations, Gon,” he said, sweeping his cloak over the boy’s body. “You might be special, or you might just be lucky. Rest well.”

Without sparing another glance back at the boy, Killua ventured deep into the caves, following a path known only to himself, and found himself wishing, if only faintly, for Gon to be still be there in the morning.

[thatjwguy]

Bullet For My Valentine - Tears don't fall (Lyrics)

Well, not really a better title for this sorta post... i personally have been making amends with my past and or present. This song indirectly says everything that i would like to say in this post to be honest. still i feel i should elaborate to some extent as to not leave people in the dark, i feel like that much is owed to the person who decides to read this post. so before we go further, just know im not a hardcore emo fan, just like this particular song since it speaks volumes to my current situation. Nothing against people who love this style, i see the appeal.

This is going to border on the lines of insanity but its really more of a spiritual issue. How shall i start this trip down my rabbit hole of weirdness. Lets go back 3 or so years ago. This is about the time i had my first breakdown, it was induced by weed but not the cause of it. I was already predisposed to this disorder from the get go, iv done some research on this already. Look up how marijuana does not cause symptoms of schizophrenia but that it can induce it depending upon the individual who uses the substance. just wanted to point these things out in case someone trys to label me a anti-pot advocate or something to that effect.

Im gonna lay this all out as clear as possible but without pointing fingers or making anyone feel bad. This was all my own doing, my mind took a break and decided to go on vacation. I was in this trance-like state for quite awhile after the initial break. I started to see hallucinations, visions, apparitions, hear voices and so on and so forth. Mental illness should never be taken lightly, neither do the spiritual elements to this world we currently live in. Sorry for leaving ya hang for a bit, i just feel these sorta things should be put up front so the reader has and idea of where im coming from. So, lets continue i promise not to go on too long of tangents, at least i hope not. 

Three years is a while to be dealing with stuff like this, it takes a major toll on you as a person. People tend to shrug off stuff like this as if can be as simple as just flipping a switch, let me tell ya, nothing could be further from the truth. While i was in the midst of this mental delusion or breakdown i was also dabbling with the occult to some extent, well i was trying to expose things in the world related to the occult. I listened to people like Alex Jones and other truthers out there on the interwebs. Perhaps i had the break for a reason, since opening your eyes to the world around you really does have a deep impact on you as a human. I guess some people arent ready to be awakened to the matrix, i feel like i fit the bill for that one. 

I was also deep into certain forms of entertainment, which may or may not be within the realm of the occult to some degree. I won't say they are, just that spiritually speaking, we are all exposed to this world, spiritual darkness/light does exist so we must come to terms with this idea right now. These forms of entertainment were that of heavy metal music, horror movies, video games etc. etc. So you could begin to see how this might play a role in someone's environment not being so healthy, not to mention genetic predispositions or trauma experienced during childhood.  So no blame is being put anywhere here, just need to lay it all out there so people can fully understand what could possibly make situations worse for people suffering from these illnesses. 

Again, i must apologize since i do babble, i am laying out the groundwork for how all of this happened and help others understand it better. So in this day we live in people believe in many ideologies. Too many to name right off but i will mention that i did try to do the New Age thing at one point during all this. Since the voices kept insisting this was some form of ascending or something to that effect. You hear terms like this often with New Age beliefs, ascended masters, 3rd eye-opening, gods/goddess, soulmates/twinflames. All sorts of interesting perspectives to the things that are actually happening. I say that since i come from a biblical background, i believe this is just a deception from the Devil, not some form of spiritual awakening (False Awakening). 

I mention the twin flame thing since that seemed to be something they wanted me to know about, they wanted to lead me in a direction that i was somehow spiritually connected to people i was never actually connected to. I fell into a trap in my mind, thinking it was real and that i was somehow connected to celebrities or public figures iv never even met. Just cause my mind was gone, and also since with this belief, people do actually think they are all connected to one another universally or something like that. Like some sort of cosmic beehive that we are all apart of, we can tap into that only if we go through the ranks and reach Christ consciousness. Again i don't believe these things, its just what i see out there. I would encourage you to investigate this for yourself. 

Everyone has the desire to know more about their existence, so thats what i was trying to do. To figure out where i came from or how everything came to be. The problem was my heart/mind was not in the right place. I was doing things for selfish reasons. I not only wanted to be apart of something more than myself, i also wanted to have things i could not have. So perhaps this was that outlet for me, to live out a fantasy of sorts but in a spiritual way since in reality, i knew something like this could not be. I wanted to believe i could connect with people on a conscious leavel, like a telephone call or something like that. With the new age, they say you can tap into that christ like consciousness and experience something along the lines of telepathy.

So, that's how i thought for a while, that the voices were like a telepathic line to some of these people. I fell in love with that idea until i found out it was a deception. Why wouldn't you want to believe you had some sort of ability to talk to people using only your mind. Since my heart was in the wrong place tho, i ended up abusing what i thought was power. I used it to try indirectly message people. Thinking i was actually talking to the people in my head, even though that was never the case. This is why i called it insanity in the beginning, you cant make this stuff up folks, i thought i was talking to people in my head in real life. Not only that but i also had lucid dreams involving those people. So in my reality, this was happening, no matter how you explained it to me. 

This is how the trap was laid out for me, i fell for it hook line and sinker. I also developed an obsession with some of the celebrities associated with the voices in my head. Thinking they knew about all of it too, just not really coming right out and saying it since they don't want to damage their image or make things public you know. I mean really, who would come out and make something like this public, they would look pretty insane just like i am right now. So, let me be clear, iv had psych help and meds help me to come back to reality since all of this happened. I no longer believe any of this, i just think i had a really wild fantasy that turned out to be a spiritual and psychological problem. 

As wild as it may appear, i think many out there do believe these sorta things. Look up youtube videos. People do believe they can have astral sex or spiritual sex with spirits or other people. So, im not that crazy for believing these things. Many people fall into these traps wanting to believe in something more, which isn't all bad, just misguided thats all. My main issue tho is that i was torn between two different women in my head, even more if i wanted to be completely honest with myself. I had talked myself into believing i was telepathically connected to women i would never have a chance with in real life. That they even wanted me at one point... yeah, pretty bizarre thinking pattern i know. So, kids dont do drugs or dabble in the occult cause you might get sucked into thinking you have godlike powers lol. 

I suppose my heart was just torn on the people i admired or had a crush on, perhaps at one point i even considered polyamory as an option. I was so selfish in thinking i could have these things and never really stopping to think, well what do they think about this, or i don't even deserve this at all. Just the gull in that line of thinking alone is enough to make me almost hate myself for even trying to make these fantasy women love me, all of them. I was basically being a player in the spiritual sense. So, yeah, you can guess how all of that played out. Many fights inside my head about beliefs and even with the women in my head. You wanna know what insanity is, try having imaginary voices of pissed off women in your head every day for 3 years. 

You may ask yourself, do i still hear them. Yes to some degree i do, but medications and therapy have helped me cope with all of this. Do i still love the people who are in my head, yes on a human level i still love them very much. Despite it all being just in my head, i just want them to be alright and know i was never trying to hurt them, just wanted to be loved by someone. Yes, it does appear to me that i needed to fix the wrong i had done, even if it was just in my head, the voices are still very real and do get mad when you act out or are a jerk, just like in real life. So i have used that as a tool to help me grow as a person, knowing we are all flawed and make mistakes. I needed to mend my mind and make peace with them. So this is also how im doing that, trying to make peace. 

In the end i was completely off the deep end in all this thinking, now i must live with the choices iv made. Even if iv never really hurt anyone in the real world, i still need to make this right, just on a personal level. Also even in Gods eyes, this could be something very real to him, doing things of that nature. Imagine, people do actually do things of that nature in the real world, play games with people and make them feel like they are the only one. When i reality they are cheating around every corner with some other person, either just because or for other unknown reasons. Maybe they just never see eye to eye or people just want to live that rock n roll style life and bed multiple partners just for the sake of saying they did. For me tho, i really want just one woman, just one who i know will be there for me and will stick with me no matter how hard it gets, Even with my mental illness she sees im a good man, trying to make it work. 

I know a woman like that still exists out there despite all the BS you hear from other men or even women for that matter. Perhaps i will find her in my faith, which is the thing Jehovah God would want, or maybe in the world. Some things are better left unknown. Just know that when the time is right, it will happen, not by force, but just because we are both ready to be in a committed relationship, not matter what gets in our way, we will have faith. Yes, this just turned into a post about me having women trouble, not entirely but yeah, i am pretty caught up in these things in my head so i must be honest with you. So now i guess you have a bit more insight into the way my mind works. Never again will i go into this much detail about my psych break. So consider yourself blessed or cursed with more knowledge of this random dude on the internet. 

Im about done here, so thanks for dropping by to go down this deep pit of my mind. I love you for doing that, just for caring enough to sit through this long and drawn out post about a guy having women problems in his head, its much more than just that but yeah. That's just the overly simplified version of this mess so that i don't get people too confused. Even though im betting you stil are, even i find myself still questioning these things from time to time. Well, that about does it, i have to get going, the voices are telling me i need to go play the new spiderman game that just came out, yes it is very awesome, i would definitely recommend you try it. 

[sserpente]

A/N: Request from anon. Oh, I very much enjoyed writing this. It was too perfect. I combined it with some of my own ideas and well… I guess I got a little carried away. So without further ado… Enjoy, everyone! ;-)

Words: 3829 (oops) Warnings: smut

Concentration is the key to all success. You need to channel your powers in order to be able to use them to their full extent.

You scoffed, setting the book aside. This was easier said than done. How would you possibly concentrate with all that testosterone-filled superhero fuss around you? It’s not like you had wanted to be an Avenger in the first place! Fine, you did have magical powers that equalled telekinesis but that didn’t make you a hero. You considered yourself an anti-hero, if anything. Unfortunately, Fury had had a different opinion.

Growling angrily, you made your way back to the library. Doctor Strange had been kind enough to leave you some magic books with which you could improve your skills. Only reading and learning in theory wouldn’t get you anywhere on a long term. You needed help. A teacher, or a master of magic, someone who was exceptionally skilled in… instantly, you froze in place. There was in fact a person who knew his magic tricks better than anyone else on this planet and much to your luck, this person happened to be present in the Avengers manor with his foster brother Thor right now.

It was fire you would be playing with but it was going to be worth the risk—you were desperate and frustrated. You’d only have to wait until everyone else was asleep.

Unluckily, it wasn’t as easy as you had expected when you sneaked out of your room past midnight. Vision naturally didn’t need any sleep and he was ghosting around like a possessed poltergeist in a haunted mansion when he didn’t know what else to do, which made it a lot harder for you to get to the other end of the manor—to the very room Loki had been put in.

Fury had insisted on treating him like a prisoner for as long as he was here. You couldn’t exactly blame him for that decision; after all, he had tried to take over the world and killed quite a bunch of people in the process but it posed yet another difficulty to overcome before you could ask the famous Trickster for help.

Only God knew if Loki would actually aid you at that but you figured it was worth a try. You were running out of options and as long as Hela was on the run, roaming through the realms and destroying everything in her path, you were in some serious need of being able to defend yourself.

You hesitated to knock when you finally reached his room. He was usually never asleep at this time but reading in bed instead, this much you knew from spying on him, or, what you preferred to call it, admiring him from afar. Sometimes you wondered whether he had nightmares that kept him from slumber at night.

“Loki? Are you awake?” You whispered, opening the door just a smidge so you could peek inside the room. The lights were on as you proceeded to step into the room and quietly closed the door behind you.

Loki looked up from his book, confusion written all over his face. He wasn’t used to visitors then. Inexplicably, the thought of this filled you with sadness. He’d done bad things but that was no reason to treat him like vermin for as long as he was a guest here on Earth… right?

“What do you want?” He asked, his silky voice sending a shiver down your spine. You had known he was intimidating, not that he was attractive, charming and seductive. SHIELD should have prepared you a lot better before sending you here.

“I… need some help,” you started timidly, looking at your fingernails as you did. Loki frowned.

“Then I suggest you bother my brother or one of the other brainless monkeys that took up quarters in this manor,” he spat mockingly before attending to his book again. You pouted. It came pretty close to what you had expected from his first reaction. Tilting your head, you attempted to make out the title of his reading. It was a magic book—ironic, really, for it was just what you needed.

“Loki… I need your help.” You insisted, cautiously allowing yourself to step further into the room. There was still a possibility that he would snap and harm you, after all, something you had to be prepared for at all times. As long as you couldn’t rely on your telekinesis, it was gonna have to be pure strength and speed though. Quite frankly, your odds were long against the Trickster himself.

The God of Mischief sighed, rolling his eyes before setting his book aside to look you straight in the eye. The beautiful blue in them almost made you flinch with its sheer intensity.

“Whatever is the matter, mortal?”

“You can do magic,” you started. You focused on the bridge of his nose—the way his eyes bore into yours made you nervous, made your heart beating faster. That is not supposed to happen.

“Very much so,” he replied with a scornful smirk. You nodded.

“I can too. Well, a bit. I was born with telekinetic abilities I found out about only a few months ago. I’ve been trying, desperately, to control them ever since then but no matter what I try, no matter what books I read… I can’t do it. I was… I was wondering if you could help me improving my skills. If what Thor said about Hela is true, I will need them.”

Loki was silent for a moment, as if he was weighing which way was best to respond; or much rather, if he could obtain an advantage for himself by helping you.

“Telekinesis you say?”

“Yeah,”

He smirked once more. Damn, why did he have to look so handsome when he did that?!

“Why would I help you?” Scoffing, you dared to look at him once more. That was the second reaction you had expected from him. And you had come up with a plan for it.

“What do you want?”

“What do you offer in return?” He shot back.

You had no money—something Loki wouldn’t be interested in anyway—other than that… there was nothing you could possibly give him. You were useless when it came to helping him keep his Asgardian throne and you certainly couldn’t let him out of the manor.

“I have nothing but… myself, Loki.” You responded shyly.

Again, the Trickster frowned. This time, however, it was paired with a brief flashing in his blue eyes. Anticipation, perhaps? Determination? Whatever it was, it scared you a little. But you were in too deep to chicken out now.

“Now please don’t tell me you are going to prostitute yourself for my tutoring.”

Why yes. This was exactly what you intended to. Loki was an outrageously good-looking guy and you were sure he had neglected his own sexual needs for a while now, busy with ascending the throne of Asgard and all that. Perhaps it was wrong to do such a thing and use the opportunity to sleep with an actual god… but you were running out of options and that quite literally. The lack of success with your powers drained you, tore you apart from the inside out. At times, you felt like you were going to burst with the energy living within you but untrained, your ability uncontrollable beyond measure up to a certain point, you would sooner or later get yourself killed. And you certainly had no intention to die already.

“Why not?” You finally answered with a shrug, acting nonchalant. In reality, you felt like throwing up. Of course, you did have doubts about this. Loki was so different from all the men you had ever bedded… as a mortal, you were highly unlikely able to satisfy him.

It was like he had read your mind when he spoke up again.

“Oh dear… what could you possibly offer me that I could not receive from an Asgardian goddess?”

Swallowing, you bit your lower lip. Exactly. He had a point. You were but a mere mortal, magical powers or not. But you were not going to give up just yet.

“Blind obedience? S-submission? You’re a king now, aren’t you?” His eyes flashed once more. This time, you could see clearly what it was. And you knew then you had won—it was hunger.

Pacing up and down the library, you grew restless, nervous for what was about to come. Loki had actually agreed on teaching you. It was unbelievable. Today, he had wanted to meet you twenty minutes ago here in the library. Maybe he had tricked you after all and was laughing his luscious arse off now that you were waiting for him in vain and had on top of that offered your body to him like a filthy whore!

Panic flooded you. Perhaps you should just go back to Doctor Strange and ask him for help instead. You were pretty sure you wouldn’t have to sleep with him to get some lessons—

It was then, however, Loki suddenly appeared right before you as you turned around. A scream escaped your lips, your mind moving the shelves around you so a handful of books fell to the ground. Great, now you had to clean that up.

“So it is emotions that trigger your powers. Fascinating,” Loki purred with a smirk as he tilted his head to examine you like a painting. Grunting, you crossed your arms.

“Where were you? You told me to meet here twenty minutes ago!”

“I am a king, little girl. I have certain duties to fulfil.”

“Oh, of course, your majesty. I’m terribly sorry.” You gave back sarcastically. “Loki, please, just help me now!”

“You think I will be able to teach you the depths of magic within a day? It took me centuries to master illusions alone.”

“Yeah but I don’t have a couple of centuries of spare time. In fact, I don’t even have a decade. You might have noticed that a certain goddess of death is trying to kill us all.”

“Do you want me to help you or not?” He suddenly spat, glaring at you as if he wanted to set you on fire. His blue eyes bore into yours, sending ice cold shivers up and down your spine. You were instantly reminded of how dangerous he really was. Or, of how dangerous he could be. You hadn’t forgotten about your “payment” yet, after all.

“Sorry,” you murmured, avoiding his gaze to focus on his boots instead. Loki nodded, materialising a book out of thin air. For just a split second, his hands were surrounded by a green glow—his seidr, you assumed—then, he handed it to you.

“Before I can properly teach you anything at all, you will read this book. It has been in my mo-… Frigga’s possession long before your precious Doctor Strange even saw the light of the day.” Frowning, you stared at the binding. It looked rather ancient, its pages yellowed and the smooth leather battered. You could tell its content was about self-control and emotions when handling magic, when you opened it to peek inside, however, you were met with gibberish of foreign letters. Runes? Was this Old Norse?

“Loki, I can’t read that. I don’t speak… whatever this is.”

The God of Mischief rolled his eyes. He waved his hands once more, another shimmer of green washing over the book in your hands. When you looked down at the letters once more, the whole text was written in English.

“Thanks,” you whispered in awe, your fear mixing with admiration for the unusual man… god… before you. It confirmed that you had indeed made the right choice by asking him for help.

“Read it until dusk. I’ll check if you have and then, little girl, we can start getting that lovely ability of yours under control.” Only you were certain he wasn’t talking about your telekinetic skills only.

Two weeks passed, with you secretly meeting up with Loki after dusk every day so he could teach you how to control your supernatural powers. He had stopped treating you like a curiosity but apparently still took a lot of pleasure in mocking you. Oddly enough, he hadn’t mentioned with a word when he would get back to that “payment” matter.

You decided not to be bothered by it for now. Much more important was to concentrate on what Loki had taught you. Tonight, you were practising in the library together. There had been a few quite remarkable successes already, with you being able to move around books and rearranging the shelves by using nothing but your mind; and now it seemed like Loki had decided to take it to the next level. Lifting furniture off the ground and letting it hover in the air for a full minute would “suffice his expectations”, he had said. “You need to be able to control yourself even in your sleep. That’s when you’ll be good enough,” he had said.

So that’s what you tried. Biting your tongue to focus, your eyes locked with the round table and its two armchairs to make it hover in the air as if dozens of invisible hands were holding it above their equally invisible heads. It worked. It worked well!

It worked until Loki walked up right behind you, his hands resting on your hips and his hot breath brushing against your neck.

“Very good. Concentrate,” he purred. And with that, the furniture came crashing down to the ground again, beaten by gravity. The moment the wood collided with the tiles on the floor was also the moment about a hundred books were ripped from their shelves to clatter to the ground.

You swallowed. This was definitely not how to control your powers. Loki had said your telekinesis was being influenced by emotions. Well, the God of Mischief certainly awoke one kind of emotion. Shivers ran up and down your spine when he chuckled, his breath trailing down your neck.

“Now that was disappointing,” he mocked. You could tell he was smirking, having you furrow your brows and turn around in an instant, irked by his scornful comment.

“That’s not fair! You were distracting me!”

“Now, now, I was merely touching you. Is that… so distractive?”

Yes, you wanted to say.

He knew he had you there. Loki had noticed a couple of days ago already how your longing gaze roamed over him whenever you’d thought he wouldn’t notice. But he had. Every single, lustful glare, he had seen and slowly, it had started to make sense to him as to why you had offered your body to him in exchange for his teaching in the first place.

Embarrassing. Had you been this obvious all along?

“You were not. But I am God of Mischief, little girl. I can read you like a book,” he remarked as if he had read your thoughts. His smirk grew even wider, his blue eyes sparkling with… with desire?

“Get on your knees,” he suddenly snapped.

You blinked, your eyes widening in disbelief. Yes. This was the confusing thing about Loki. You never knew what you were getting yourself into. His moods were unpredictable, his many motives all but unfathomable.

“W-wait, w-w-what?” You chirped.

“I said get on your knees.” His tone was commanding now, intimidating even. So this was how he had convinced a crowd to kneel before him in Stuttgart. Instantly, you obeyed him, looking up at him in both awe and fear of what to expect. Your legs connected with the cool floor beneath you, your heart beating like a steam hammer. God, you would faint if he kept examining you like innocent prey that he had hunted down just for the fun of it.

“I believe you have had enough practise for today.”

You couldn’t help but nod, feeling like you were in a trance as Loki strolled over, hovering above you like the powerful god he was. Swallowing once more, you bit your lower lip.

“Loki…” It was a question that wouldn’t escape your lips. What are you doing? What’s going to happen? Clearly, he understood, for he smirked once more—this time truly maliciously.

“How I would love to put that pretty mouth of yours to some good use for a change.” He explained as he fumbled around with the hem of his leathern armour, attempting to free his growing erection. For just a split second, you dared to look down, only to discover the massive bulge in his pants. Your breathing became faster, a tingling sensation between your legs urging him on.

He was referring to your loose tongue, to the way you spoke to him when you were vexed and when things didn’t go your way. You usually dared to counter something cheeky when Loki slipped another mocking statement—and you loved it. You loved provoking him and, so you could tell, he enjoyed teasing you. Only now he was getting back at you and you were completely at his mercy.

A treacherous pull in your lower regions erupted at the very thought of it just when his hard cock sprang free. Loki let his pants slid down to his own knees, offering you an equally delicious sight of his slim but muscly thighs.

“Suck,” he commanded, his blue eyes wide with lust and want. Still, you hesitated. This was not your first time giving someone a blowjob but Loki was big. Bigger than all the other guys you had dated. His thick cock twitched under your greedy look, threatening with just how enormous he was. Your fear returned. He’s a god, he’s a god, he’s a god… your mind kept repeating. You’ll never live up to his expectations.

Another second passed. Your mouth was watering by now, anticipating joyfully finally taking him between your lips and tasting him. Immediately you wondered what it would be like. Would he taste like frost and winter? Like mischief and malice? How did those two taste anyway?

Finally, you leaned forward, supporting yourself by pressing your palms against his thighs and pushed the pink tip of him between your lips, flicking your tongue over his slit and making him buck his hips. You would have smiled if you’d been able to. He tasted so much better than you had imagined.

Braver now, you took him deeper into your mouth and began sucking him like a sweet popsicle as your right hand travelled up his thigh to caress his balls. He was leaking with precum already, you could taste the indefinable saltiness on your tongue. Had you done that? He could have gotten horny without you being present, after all, there was no doubt about that but now, all you could hear was silent growls escaping his slightly parted lips. He was enjoying himself as he glimpsed down at you imperiously. You were giving him this pleasure. The dirty thought filled you with pride.

It burned you to reach between your legs and grant yourself a little relief as well. With every movement of your head, with every lick of your tongue, you grew wetter and needier. Still, you resisted. Loki would punish you if you focused on your own bliss right now. That you were sure of.

Kneading his balls, you released him with a noisy pop and licked up and down his twitching length, devouring his dick with relish before taking him in as deep as you could once more.

It was then Loki lost his composure, his patience, his consideration, whatever it was. Snarling like a lion, he suddenly grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you towards him, causing you to deep throat him. Your eyes widened in shock. What? Fuck, no, this was way too much!

You gagged around him, struggling to pull away to catch your breath but either, Loki didn’t care or he was too caught up in his pleasure to notice your discomfort. Bucking his hips again and again, he fucked your mouth so furiously your neck started aching from the pressure.

It felt too intense, too much but… at the same time it felt… hot, intriguing and arousing. He wouldn’t choke you, now would he? He had told you he could read you like a book, he would know if it really got too much for you, right?

Your pussy was dripping by now, your core aching with desire, begging for attention. Your whole body had heated up, demanding the pleasure you denied yourself… if you asked him nicely later, would he grant you some release as well? You hoped so.

There was a faint noise in the background shortly before Loki stilled, moaning so loudly you feared he could wake someone or attract Vision’s attention. You soon realised it was your telekinetic powers sending even more books flying across the room in your ecstasy. God. You really needed to work on that.

The God of Mischief, albeit only smirked as you peeked up at him with his cock buried deep in your mouth as it repeatedly hit the back of your throat. You gagged again but refused to pull away now, for you were eager to watch his expression when he came.

His impressive member started twitching inside your mouth, restlessly pressing against your tongue as he growled again and then, you could feel—taste rope after rope of his warm and sticky cum shooting down your throat.

You didn’t even give it a second thought. Fervidly, you swallowed every last drop of him, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head elatedly. He did taste like frost and winter, in his very own way.

“Yes. Swallow all of me, little girl.” Loki hummed. He sounded… exhausted. Him! The Trickster God himself, exhausted from using your mouth like a toy, from you pushing him over the edge, making him orgasm with your tongue!

After making sure he had given you everything he’d had, you released him, his tight grip on your hair loosening. Your lips were swollen and reddened, this much you could tell as you watched his cock softening again after his downright delicious treatment. You could hear Loki taking a deep breath.

“Now look at the mess you made,” He teased. Strangely, however, you had the naughty feeling he wasn’t talking about the scattered books but much rather your soaked panties.

“You could have forewarned me about calling in your payment.” You complained jokingly, licking your lips to make sure you had indeed swallowed all of his hot and delicious seed as you got up again and watched him pulling up his pants. God, asking Loki for help with your powers had been the best idea you had ever had.

“Oh no, little girl,” Loki smirked, his voice throaty and hoarse as he glanced at you mischievously, your heart skipping a beat at his words. “This was only a deposit.”

[foundcarcosa]

I did my birth chart a long ass time ago but that one wasn’t as detailed as this one (it’s got sextiles and shit). I’m gonna post this one with its descriptions partially so I can find it again and also just for funsies. (I find it very difficult to argue with anything I’ve read in here, just so y’all know... lmao #draggt)

Very long post, but I tried to use formatting to at least break it into manageable pieces. The pronouns and shit (sometimes it’s like “you [xyz]” and sometimes it’s like “he [xyz]” or whatever) jump all over the place for some reason, but meh.

I’m gonna do the houses in another post to try and split it up.

sun in gemini

With the Sun in Gemini, the urge for self-expression is strong. These natives are often just as interested in collecting information as they are in sharing it. Curious to a fault, Geminis have a finger in every pie. Solar Geminis are flexible and changeable people. Their ability to adapt quickly to new situations generally gains them plenty of friends and social contacts. Usually quite clever and witty, Geminis enjoy intellectual conversations and they are easily bored if they are not getting enough mental stimulation. Often quite adept at fitting in with others, Geminis easily adopt the moods of those around them. They are friends to people from all walks of life, and are not easily intimidated. Their ability to detach themselves can make Geminis very objective and observant, but a little difficult to get close to. Although they often have many friends, intimacy doesn't come as easily to Solar Geminis. It can be difficult to know what Gemini really feels at any given moment. They are often very impressionable and scattered. There is usually a nervous air to Geminis that can make more personal characters a little uneasy. It is not always intuitive to trust Geminis to be loyal or to keep secrets. Geminis often flit about, moving quickly and keeping busy every step of the way. Many people with this position of the Sun have gained quite a bit of knowledge in their lifetimes, but they don't often possess specialized knowledge. This is because Geminis have relatively short attention spans. Restlessness is especially common with this position of the Sun. Usually quite affable, Geminis enjoy the "light" side of life. This tendency to take things lightly makes them quite pleasing to be around; but it can be maddening to people seeking support on the deeper issues in life. Geminis are both interesting and interested. Their wit can be dazzling and their changeability dizzying. At the very least, Geminis will seldom bore you.

Gemini ascendant Scorpio | Sun in VII

You take pride in your ability to negotiate, and to establish harmony in your relationships. It is important to you to have a partner, as you feel incomplete without one. You are motivated to become well-liked, and you are especially sensitive to rejection. One of the lessons in your life may be to avoid putting harmony and others' opinions of you above your own needs. Use your social skills and seek out peaceful relations with others, but try not to over-identify with your partnerships and the way you are received by others. You may marry someone with a strong personality.

moon in gemini

Lunar Geminis are usually pleasant, witty, and charming people. At home and with family, however, they can be moody and irritable at times. People with Moon in Gemini are always interesting people--they have a finger in every pie, are curious to a fault, and are generally well-informed. Nervousness and worry are common traits with this lunar position. An underlying restlessness is common, and many Lunar Geminis need more stimulation than others. They usually read a lot, talk a lot, and think a lot with this airy, mutable position of the Moon. Their homes are often a perpetual work-in-progress. They generally dislike housework, but are big on home improvement. Re-organizing their homes in little--and sometimes big--ways seems to keep them happy, as Lunar Geminis are easily bored by both routine and constancy. Often, this is a reflection of their inner world--"the grass is always greener..." applies here. Inwardly, Lunar Geminis are often unsettled. Moon in Gemini parents are generally more adept at handling the intellectual needs of their children than emotional ones. Others' complicated emotions, in general, can be difficult for Lunar Geminis to handle. In their families, Lunar Geminis often take on the role of organizing get-togethers. They are at their best when they have plenty of things to do beyond routine. Moon in Gemini people almost always have a way with words. They are clever and witty, and more often than not can be found chatting with others. They are sociable and friendly, and feel comfortable in crowds. Some pay too much attention to what everyone else is doing, and lose touch with what they really want to do. Generally, Lunar Geminis have a million and one projects going. They are impressionable folk, and their imagination is boundless. Their openness to new ideas is admirable, although decisiveness and persistence take a blow as a result. Still, versatility and adaptability are some of the stronger traits of this position of the Moon. When irritable, these people can easily become snappy. Their moodiness is complicated--this is not the same kind of moodiness you'll find with water sign moons, for example. Usually, difficult behavior stems from inner restlessness. Lunar Geminis want to do it all, and have trouble sticking to any one project. When problems arise, the first instinct of Moon in Gemini natives is to talk things out. Their tendency to analyze can give them the appearance of emotional detachment. In fact, Lunar Geminis may be especially comfortable talking about their feelings, but feeling their own feelings doesn't come as easily. Those that don't take time out to really emote and understand their own needs may end up baffling others. Feeling misunderstood is common for Moon in Gemini natives. The only real solution to the problem is learning to get in touch with their own feelings. 

Moon in VIII It has a tendency to having deep and profound dreams. Romantic fantasies. Is interested in the occult. While you have a strong need for emotional security, you are also a person who is drawn to pushing your own limits, and many lifestyle changes can be the result of this need to challenge, or reinvent, yourself emotionally. You are always fascinated with how people work, taboos, secrets, and all that is forbidden or hidden. Sexual unrest, or an apparent need to constantly change sexual partners or to challenge yourself sexually, may be a symptom of emotional insecurity. Connecting with another person intimately is an emotional need, but your changeable emotions might often get in the way of your goal. Jealousy and possessiveness might also be qualities you struggle with. At your best, however, you are a person who is intimate, deep, and intensely loyal to a partner.

358 Conjunction Moon - Mercury You can be quite expressive and animated in your speech. You have an outstanding memory and tend to pick up a lot of information from your environment. You love to chat and to exchange ideas. Even if you are shy, once you're friends, you love to talk about pretty much anything under the sun, and you enjoy sharing stories from your past! For the most part, you are focused on day-to-day activities in your communications rather than on grander philosophies. You are naturally curious and interested, and others find you very easy to talk to. You are accommodating and curious, but you are not as well equipped to handle heavy emotional demands. You thrive on change and variety. You might be a little addicted to gossip! More probably, however, you are simply very curious about others. There is a twinkle in your eyes, and you are never short on humor. You are playful and versatile--you make a fun companion and an interesting friend. You listen! Yes, you do talk and occasionally interrupt in your excitement, but you are a curious person who does want to hear what others have to say, and that is a real pleasure. In fact, you are more able than most people to get others talking, simply because you are very receptive and sympathetic. You pick up others' feelings and body language readily.

210 Sextile Moon - Jupiter It is generally pleasantly composed, due to an inner sense of harmony and emotional balance. It is optimistic--and realistically so, most of the time--which contributes to its overall "luck". It is able to get a real perspective on emotional matters that not only benefits its outlook, it is able to offer support to others when needed. Broad-mindedness is a wonderful characteristic. Quick to find humor in situations, it is generally warm and fun to be around. Deep down, it believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps it to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of its best qualities is tolerance. Usually, it doesn't take life too seriously in the sense that it believes in having a bit of fun. Its hunches are more often than not bang-on. It is frank, honest, optimistic and generous. It likes good cooking, its comforts. Its friendships are sincere. It is a worker and knows how to surround itself with the right people: It is appreciated at work.

-182 Opposition Moon - Saturn When Moon is in hard aspect to Saturn in the natal chart, natives need to learn to trust others more. Fear keeps them from fully enjoying personal relationships, and fear is behind the occasional rigidity that they express. When they let themselves receive nurture or care from others, an inner voice cautions them that it might not be sincere, long-lasting, or enough! There can be some reluctance about becoming a parent, but once taken on, these people don't take their responsibility lightly. Emotional reticence is the main theme of these aspects. Many people with this aspect had a lot of conditions placed on the love they received in early childhood. They tend to expect the same later in life. With hard Saturn aspects, individuals are often plagued with doubts, not only about the self but about what to expect from life itself. The problem is that expecting difficulties or negative situations creates an aura around them that perpetuates the problem. They must work hard at positive thinking and expecting more from life. Ironically, many people with hard Saturn aspects can be quite sarcastic, skeptical, and rigid in manner. This is essentially a defense mechanism designed to protect themselves from harshness in the world. It is extremely likely that they feel neglected because they perceive it in the first place, and later expect it, to be the case. There's a vicious circle going on here that can only be broken when the patterns created by negative conditioning are broken. Adjusting one's perceptions and expectations is the key to breaking out of these negative patterns. Otherwise, natives of hard Moon-Saturn aspects will live life feeling left out--attracting circumstances that perpetuate a feeling of deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

-149 Opposition Moon - Uranus It has a feverish, non-constructive restlessness. It is too susceptible. Its life is full of change. It is irritable and stubborn at times due to an inner restlessness that is hard to satisfy. It has difficulty concentrating on a job. Nervous strain. Its friendships are like its professional and love life - sometimes unstable. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, it gets cagey, as it values personal freedom just as much.

mercury in gemini

Mercury in Gemini people are generally quick-witted. They can come across as somewhat scattered, and this is mainly due to their eclectic interests. They seem to know a little about everything. Turn to Mercury in Gemini people for lots of facts and figures as well as broad knowledge. Their learning is a little superficial--they generally have too many interests to delve too deeply into any one. These people learn best in a stimulating environment. They get bored easily, but they are fast learners. Impressionable to a fault, Mercury in Gemini people pick up more from their environment than most, and they can process information at lightning speed! The restlessness of Gemini is especially obvious when Mercury is placed in the sign. There is a nervous energy here that is unmistakable.

Mercury in VIII It can be tormented at night. It likes research, investigations, inquiries. Studies well. It is fascinated with all that is unexplored, mysterious, taboo, secret, and psychological. Loves research and has a great mind. It wants to know the motivation behind what people do. May have a good mind for financial strategies. You speak with authority and others listen, having strong persuasive powers which should be used carefully. You tend to feel that everything we do and experience has a purpose. You have a great, investigative, and penetrating mind and you are excellent at developing strategies, as well as communicating them with others.

131 Conjunction Mercury - Mars It likes to discuss, likes polemic. It has good judgment and is determined. It is a worker and has lots of energy. It has a lively intelligence and goes to the heart of things. It is enthusiastic, incisive, and energetic in thought and speech. -18 Opposition Mercury - Saturn It is reserved, conservative, ambitious and stubborn. It might have problems expressing itself, particularly verbally, due to shyness or fear of criticism. Social success may be slow and laborious, but it does not give up easily and is patient. Whatever you say and write is self-censored to some degree. It's hard for you to pour out your emotions, no matter how emotional or needy you feel on the inside. This is because you are always aware of what others might think of you with what you say. You are careful with what you reveal to others. You make plenty of disclaimers, and often come across as negative or sarcastic without intending to. You often review conversations you have had with others, and you often kick yourself for saying something you didn't intend to, or for not saying something witty. There can be some feelings of insecurity about how you speak and communicate in general. Self-consciousness and hypersensitivity is experienced with regards to your intelligence and/or ability to get ideas across to others, especially in youth. You need plenty of positive feedback from others in order to feel more confident and less "blocked". Recognize that you are most likely harder on yourself about how you communicate than others are. Ask people close to you for an objective point of view. Chances are, they find you to be astute, intelligent, and an effective speaker or writer. We often tell our kids "don't worry about what others think", but telling this to a person with a hard Saturn aspects is not enough, nor is it realistic. They will worry. You rarely accept compliments whole-heartedly, yet you crave them and need them. Others around you tend to stop complimenting you, feeling that you either don't need compliments or don't want to hear them. Nothing can be further than the truth!

-240 Opposition Mercury - Uranus It likes polemic, to criticize and, above all, to contradict. It lacks diplomacy and tends to dissipate her energy. It cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in its professional career. -23 Opposition Mercury - Neptune It makes errors of judgement, and lacks sincerity. It lets things happen, and is happy in its dreamworld. Confronted by reality, it is hesitant, incapable of being tested and falls back into its imaginary world. It might become a drug-taker.

venus in taurus

Love for Venus in Taurus centers on the physical world and creature comforts -- they revel in sensual surroundings. These people project themselves as solid and comfortable. In fact, something about their manner promises they will be satisfying lovers and partners. They need a certain measure of predictability and dependability in their relationships, even if their Sun is in the more spontaneous signs of Aries or Gemini. Venus in Taurus people can be possessive in love, and they are threatened by fast-paced, high-energy situations in the context of relationships and love. These are sensual partners who require lots of "hands-on" expressions of love. Their lovers may complain that Venus in Taurus can get a little too comfortable and settled. It's true that they resist change in their relationships, but even when they seem stuck in a groove, you can always reassure yourself by remembering that they are constant partners. Pleasing Venus in Taurus involves emphasizing your loyalty, and their worth to you. You may need to give in to them in love matters, because they won't readily give in to you! Get physical with them; do comfortable things. Avoid pushing them in love -- give them plenty of time. You will probably need to cultivate patience if you are in a relationship with Venus in Taurus. Remember to be simple and natural -- Taurus will appreciate it. Promise them a comfortable, cozy time. Love arrives slowly, without passion but with force.

Venus in VI It may be devoted to sick or poor people. Might work in a medical or social setting, where it meets its partner, who is a great help professionally. Your expressions of love and affection are practical and helpful. Being of service to a partner is especially important to you. In fact, you might go to great lengths to be available at all costs to a loved one. While you may not be flowery or showy when it comes to expressing love, you show your love by your availability, rendering services, doing practical things for a loved one, and other thoughtful "little" things. Many of you are talented at design work, as you appreciate and pay much attention to all of the little parts that make up a whole, with the goal of finding order and harmony in these systems. If you are not careful, you might pass up on true love opportunities in favor of relationships that serve a practical purpose in your life, or out of fear that you might not find better. Selling yourself short may be something that keeps you from going after what and who you want.

-141 Opposition Venus - Pluto In an attempt to control the outcome of a love relationship, or the loved one's feelings, you can turn to manipulative games. Even if you do "succeed" at it, there is never a feeling that you've won someone over for who you are, and this feeds a vicious cycle that you should try to avoid getting yourself into. Your feelings are intense, and even extreme, when it comes to love. You might attract intense relationships that have love-hate themes as a result. You are passionate when you love, definitely, but also passionate when you hate. You easily put pressure on your partner, as you expect much loyalty and honesty in your intimate relationships. Be careful not to let your relationships get to a point where your partner is superfluous and you are working through your own inner demons through him or her. Certainly, you will learn much about yourself through your relationships, and you may not always like what you see. You will meet yourself (the "darker" side or inner demons) through your relationships, and it will be critical that you recognize it as your own "material" and not project it onto your partner. Letting go of a relationship can be hard for you to do, especially if Venus is in a fixed sign (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, or Aquarius). -152 Opposition Venus - Ascendant It goes to excess in her pleasures, frequents doubtful company. It lacks good taste. It is very spendthrift, but spreads its money around its circle. Its friends are more self-interested than sincere.

mars in cancer

This position inclines toward passive-aggressiveness. These people seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations. They need to feel secure before they act. As a result, they can appear rather slow at times. Their motto is "The best offence is defense". They may appear weak to some, but they can be very strong. Their strength lies in their tenaciousness. Their sex drive can be very tied up with emotional need. At their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them. The protective nature of Cancer is best expressed when Mars in Cancer natives are turning the energy outward -- when they are being the protectors of others. Turning it inwards is when there are problems. They must avoid over-sensitivity and self-protection when it comes to sex. Some Mars in Cancer people are especially turned on by the thought of creating a baby. These people are threatened by indifference. They can be argumentative and manipulative. Their energy levels are variable, and they can appear to move rather slowly. They have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional displays when they feel cornered. With reassurance and confidence, these natives are protective, helpful, and dependable in the long haul. They prefer to handle situations peacefully and humanely.

Mars in VIII Sexually very powerful, it is also capable of tremendous focus and hard work. Sexually intense and deep. Is adept at professions requiring research, strategy, uncovering truths, and analysis. Arguments may occur over inheritance. -3 Opposition Mars - Uranus It is full of contradictions. It is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. It fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them.

-61 Opposition Mars - Neptune This is a challenging position, as you have difficulty trusting in your ability to go after things that you want in a direct manner. It may also be that you have difficulty pinpointing what it is that you want, or that part of you doesn't feel you deserve it due to a basic lack of self-confidence. You fear rejection as well as criticism, and often use roundabout means to go after what you want. Your imagination is so powerful that it can be hard to trust your instincts. You easily imagine things going wrong, just as you easily fantasize about good things! Your desire nature is strong yet also very suggestible. You're attracted to mysteries and intrigue. Sexual experimentation is likely, as you are forever addicted to sensuality and unusual or perhaps even what many would consider perverted sexual scenarios. However, your sensual appetite might be much like a bottomless pit, and you could find yourself forever in a state of wanting more, tiring of regular sexual scenarios quickly, and endlessly searching for the next sensation. If an addiction to fantasy is present, you can find yourself constantly chasing a new and more complicated fantasy. It is only when you get into touch with your heart and discover your true desires that you realize that sensations are merely sensations--not deeply satisfying or fulfilling. Fears of sexual inadequacy can be great with this position, and you may either deny yourself as a result, or overcompensate, seeking out experiences in which you are pretty much assured positive feedback. Some of you will experience both of these extremes in your lifetime. Although you can be very creative at keeping your motives and personal agenda hidden--in fact, many of you seem on the surface of things to be quite gentle and yielding--you might eventually become resentful if you feel the need to resort to sneakiness in order to get what you want out of life. If you do feel resentment for giving up your power to someone else, learn to avoid giving it up unless you truly understand that you are doing it for yourself, and not for someone else. Resentments have a way of building and distorting themselves into ugly matter if you don't deal with them properly and directly. You are often passive-aggressive in your approach to others, and this can cause a lot of problems in your life. You are usually found chasing a dream... or a fantasy. The former is probably the better path. Adopting a more direct and assertive approach to life is something that you should be working towards. You will need to get over your feelings of guilt when you do adopt this approach. Learning to take responsibility for your actions, and to avoid blaming others for failures, is important. At your worst, you can be disorganized in your approach to life, easily procrastinating and lacking follow-through when you do begin a task. Some of the most important lessons you need to learn in life are self-control, self-assertion, and trust in yourself. At your best, you are a creative person with a powerful imagination and great stores of compassion.

24 Trine Mars - Pluto It is ambitious, has a great capacity for work, has self-confidence and goes to the end of its plans.

jupiter in aries

It attracts the most good fortune when it takes the lead, initiates, inspires, and demonstrates enthusiasm and courage. Believes in the power of positivity, that life is what you make of it. Loves competition, doing things independently. Jupiter in V It likes games and distractions. It has passion which lights up its days. It is lucky in love, but also professionally, with pleasant working conditions and duties. It loves its children and gets much enjoyment from them. 63 Trine Jupiter - Saturn It is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. Its judgment is good and it thinks things over. It pursues its objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. It is upright and respects the law. -46 Square Jupiter - Lilith It will ruin herself in order to please its partner. On the sexual level, it will go to considerable effort to please its partner. In order to possess the partner more, it will ruin herself financially to get whatever the partner might want. In spite of all that, the partner is never entirely satisfied. It will be very disappointed in love.

saturn in sagittarius

It has its own way of thinking about a subject, it has its own ideas about things. It respects society and society’s rules guide its conduct. Weaknesses: hard, unforgiving, rigorous, insensitive and sometimes inhuman. A limited and narrow mind. Saturn in II If it is rich, will always give the impression of being in financial difficulties. If it is broke, it gives the same impression - this time with reason. It fears being without money, and may be especially cautious with possessions and finances as a result. 90 Conjunction Saturn - Uranus It knows how to be on top of the situation. It perseveres, is determined but ingenious and original. It is very practical. It proceeds slowly, but is always bound to achieve its objectives in the end.

uranus in sagittarius

It is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively. Uranus in II It has a lot of flair. It is unreliable at work, always ready for change. It must have an out-of-the-ordinary job, in which case all goes well: otherwise, it will often change jobs and will have financial problems.

neptune in capricorn

It is discerning, wise and sensible. Neptune in II It may prefer not to attach too much value to money, but if this is overdone, there can be quite a few problems in life concerning money and ownership. It might make money through artistic pursuits, but must avoid the potential pitfalls of putting too much faith in ideas that don't have enough grounding in reality. Financial advice is important to obtain.

84 Sextile Neptune - Pluto

pluto in scorpio

Great sexual activity. [LMAO THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IT SAID??? I’M LAUGHIN] 7 Conjunction Pluto - AscendantIt has will-power and ambition, and likes to have its own way.

[fictionfromgames]

2019 (Buffy/Angel Eden studios)

Lawrence Myers (January)

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

The cameras never stopped, but years at the firm led to an impeccable public persona. It was a large part of how a two term representative got picked out as VP, but then again, a little help from the Senior Partners goes a long way. He gave a picture perfect smile to the judge, bigger than the tight control he normally displayed, but still just as false.

It would be a while before he got to a place of privacy, something that made him begin to clench his jaw after a while. The American people were desperately pathetic, constantly delaying anything worthwhile, and he needed to get out.

Lawrence smoothed his salt and pepper hair, the only gesture he allowed himself, and largely as a joke for the press. His assistant was hovering in the periphery, and there was nothing he’d rather be doing than delegating long-awaited tasks.

He gestured to Mallory; an hour in and it was far past time to get the hell out of there. No more shmoozing, no more firing up the very amenable base. It was time.

“Sir, we’ve got a meet-and-greet in Virginia next--” Mallory began.

“Stop and listen,” President Myers said, his genial mask slipping into the authoritative annoyance he’d honed so well, “Call my guys at Homeland Security and ICE. I want all funding to IDRS halted and deferred to them.”

“Of course,” his assistant knew better than to respond with hesitation or confusion, “We’ll work up a press release too.”

“America solves its own problems, we don’t need INTERPOL junior here doing whatever the fuck they want,” he declared, “I don’t care who it needs to go through, we’ll start with an executive order if I have to.” “Absolutely,” Mallory complied, writing everything down, “And about the rally--”

“Fucking rallies,” his brow creased, conjuring up the lines in his brow that should have been deeper at 50, “That horseshit needs to be cut in half if we’re gonna get anything done this year.”

“Of course.”

A New, Confused Hope (March)

The tones of the aggravating electric chime rang again. Probably some lookie-loo or new witch seeking locally grown sage. Luckily, it does well enough in pots, so Logan always had a supply for the newly witchy.

He sniffed. Among the incenses and minty goodness of the growing sage, he caught a distinct eau de troll, and... “Hey, Aszea, try not to get vamp dust everywhere,” he called out without looking to the front of the shop.

“Logan, is Janis in? We have a kind of a situation,” the giant woman responded.

The way Aszea said situation made his ears perk, and probably would have without extra sensitive hearing. He placed his book down and made his way to the front, and was a little surprised that there were two people, and that the young woman with the troll was actually the one who smelled of dead vampires.

“Wwwwwwwhat?” Logan looked confused.

“So this is Emily.” Aszea put a hand softly on the girl’s shoulders, “She’s a sophomore at the catholic school, and she just killed like, three vampires.”

“Wait, really?” Logan moved around the counter, “That sounds like Slayer stuff, but--” “Right, she had a little assistance,” Aszea looked indignant, “But I told her about the Augury, and that we may be able to help her learn about what’s going on, and that, while it’s weird to have adult friends...”

“Having adult employers would be a good cover for a new Potential,” Logan knew immediately. He realized he’d carried a crystal ball out from stock, and set it down on an empty stand. “Twenty hours a week of magical supervision, little to no suspicion.”

“Twenty paid hours,” Aszea pointed out.

“Can you help me?” the girl’s eyes finally flickered up from her thousand yard stare. She was still in shock over what had happened, and Logan felt all the deeply bittersweet memories of watching someone learn some truth about the world lean a little more bitter when they locked eyes.

“Of course,” he said as softly as he could, “Just let me text the boss lady.”

Bad Actors (September)

“Well, shit!” Janis cursed, double-checking her phone.

“More amateur mages mucking up the mojo?” Logan asked, leaning over the counter.

“No, this was a test,” Janis held a finger in the air, “Someone is doing this on purpose, poisoning the well, and Iiiiiiiiii...”

Her face fell as she knew she’d have to admit something.

“Don’t know what to do about it?” Logan cut into her thought break.

“Yes, thanks, I was going to say that,” Janis twisted her mouth up, “Did you find the sleep daught?”

“Yeah, but I gotta skip it, Asz said there’s an inordinate amount of undead lately so I’ll be off the leash,” he said without looking at her.

“Any better at it? Can’t have you biting our only Slayer ally,” Janis crossed her arms, partly to glower and mostly to stop staring into her phone.

“I’ll tell you when you figure out what’s going on with the Tumblr coven.”

It was often tempting to throw annoying hexes at Logan, but ever since Myers ascended to the presidency, everything had been looking worse for the magical community, and she couldn’t afford to piss off any allies, even her werewolf store clerk.

“Who’d have thought I’d be curious as to where Phil went since January, huh?” she brushed a lock of hair out of her face, a small act of control in her increasingly chaotic life.

All Saints’ Order (November)

Brian raised his hands in victory. The molotov had crashed through the heathen storefront, and a small fire began taking hold inside. The Augury would be cleansed from his city.

Around him, his brothers cheered, hoisting their various weapons into the air, yells of “Hail Myers!” amongst the more enthusiastic wordlessness. They’d save their country, he knew, they’d start the next crusade, they’d burn--

Janis ended the spell.

“What’s happening?” Emily spoke up.

“We’re minus one shop and plus one openly fascistic anti-magic movement,” Janis responded flatly.

“Fuck,” was Aszea’s whole contribution the conversation.

*****************

So the last post was a couple years ago, and I’ve been watching a lot of Buffy, so here’s some setting update.

Lawrence Myers, 46th president of the United States, was a lawyer at a little firm known as Wolfram & Hart, and spent two terms as a representative for the state of Nevada before being courted, seemingly at random, as VP. When a very unexpected death opened up a vacancy in the White House, his administration fed on the zeitgeist of right wing American concerns and interests: a desire for law and order, fed by a covert program that produced chaos in the form of systematically sired mobs of vampires; fear and revulsion at the statistics of religion, that “witch” was now outpacing the growth of more “traditional” religious tendencies (see: christian denominations); and retaliation, essentially encouraged by the White House with its failure to criticize vigilante actions against apparently “satanic” sorts, such as middle class store owners or their working class superpowered/strange employees. Meanwhile, already prestigious or successful warlocks and demonic allies remained untouched by the ignorant sycophants.

Janis Morad, witch, demonologist, former entrepreneur. “Technopagan” is a term of the past, largely discarded in favor just plain ole witch, and Janis made her first sales online when Certain Social Websites started making witchcraft aesthetic. Using mundane practitioners to fund her own actual magickal ventures, she was largely able to fly under the radar until the All Saints’ executive order, which was supposed to fund governmental policing of Weird Stuff, but also just kind of invigorated an irate and clueless portion of the populace.

Logan Benson, werewolf. He was bit shortly before going to work with Janis, and has been pacified in his wolf phases by Janis’ alchemical experimentations. He’s been more and more eager to help out Aszea on nights as she seems immune to lycanthropy and is both tough and regenerative enough to survive the more mundane mauling that happened when he and the troll first met.

Emily Szymanski, Slayer. She’s mostly around because I had an idea that I liked-- that the Slayer Potential awakening spell was for extant Slayer Potentials when it was cast, not every one of them since. That being the case (how generous of me to myself), beginning in 2018 or later is the perfect time-- as Potentials come into age fifteen years later, we could be seeing one brand new Slayer for every one that has died since s7 of Buffy. This opens things up to a classic high school Slayer experience that we’re familiar with, while also still seeing a few “grizzled” vets in their mid to late twenties. I tend to assume “The life of a Slayer is brutally short,” but you don’t have to.

Generally speaking, she’s timid, I envisioned her as a nerdy Slayer, which will be fleshed out and statted when I get to it.

Aszea, troll. She was transformed from her assigned gender at birth through a wish-- one that she did not word carefully enough despite assuming she’d been quite particular. She wished to be a woman, but not specifically a human woman, and whoops. Now she mostly patrols and is the big muscle of the group.

Beyond this post, it’ll be set concurrent to whenever I’m writing, which is why I wanted to jump past all the time I didn’t include since the first two posts. Characters will have character sheets whenever they get their own story.

[sharethisgemwithme]

“Raising the Barn” instant reaction

So now's when we pull Peridot and Lapis into the conversation? [scrolls down to synopsis] "Pumpkin goes missing!" [aquamarine face] I know from one of the convention trailers that Lion also goes missing at some point (and we haven't seen him since Connie rode him into the portal), but it's really weird to do a missing "persons" storyline SO IMMEDIATELY after we just did a missing persons storyline.

My predictions: I think this is when we're going to get the La-pissed off phone call from the promo, but I wonder what Steven will say or do to set her off. Don't have a coherent guess, so I'm just gonna play the episode.

I'm watching via on-demand, and will start the clock with "We!" As always, first time I'm watching straight through with no pauses or rewinds.

Note: I watched the whole set over the course of the day on Sunday, but decided to space out my reaction posts. These are authentic in that I haven’t gone back and changed earlier reactions after watching later episodes. Also, for the benefit of those on mobile who can’t blacklist, the rest of this post is behind a cut.

0:00 - Who's it gonna be this episode? 0:20 - Amber debuts! With Hilary. 0:28 - More sad looks at Connie's picture. Which is now in color. 0:42 - song time song time 0:50 - SONG TIME 0:58 - and cut off 1:06 - here's the call from the barn. IT'S NOT CONNIE, STEVEN! 1:25 - pumpkin is still weird 1:38 - aww lapis is blushing 1:51 - spaaaace. i wonder how much they already know 2:04 - oh yeah. that'll set her off. 2:19 - and BYE 2:42 - you can.. yeah you can bring the TV 2:50 - lapis is D O N E 3:04 - you keep saying that "we're safe" thing 3:22 - peridot, it's time to make a decision. lapis has made hers 3:45 - peri is not planning to leave. lapis is gonna leave without you. 4:18 - uhh... what are you doing there, lapis? 4:30 - yikes. 4:35 - oh. so that's what you mean by "raising the barn". literally. why didn't I expect that? 4:54 - lapis's goodbyes are never permanent. 5:08 - seriously, where did she go? 5:23 - or did peridot hide her to try to delay lapis's departure? 5:50 - yeah, the cluster. that's still a thing. 6:04 - a basketball is good enough 6:20 - "we'll never know" YAY [/sarcasm] 6:33 - "she loves this", we don't need to know about your, uh, habits 6:56 - hahahha 7:02 - "onion's onions" 7:20 - ok, so peridot didn't hide her, she hid herself? 8:10 - you do have a choice. if anyone knows about having a choice, it's you, peridot. 8:30 - bye. again. once more. 8:45 - peridot, claim it for yourself. 9:07 - yay, standing up for earth! 9:20 - honestly, there was no good time to tell you 9:48 - "I think we can win. I think you can win." 9:58 - "No." 10:03 - Oh good, shaded eyes Lapis. 10:12 - Uhh... 10:25 - Bye. Again. 10:45 - Aww, Peridot's moving back into the bahtroom. 10:58 - That's the saddest wow thanks ever. 11:07 - And still no Connie. 11:12 - "What do we do now?" is basically a shoe-in as always the saddest possible last line of a TV episode.

IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS: She'll be back. She always is. This time, not for Earth, and not for Steven, but for Peridot. I don't know how or when, but Peridot is going to get through to Lapis and get her to come back. On another point, it is now officially time to start worrying about Connie. Has Steven tried calling her parents just to make sure she is OK? Did Lion ever come back? Peridot was definitely trying everything she could think of to get Lapis to stay or at least think about it, but it seems even if she had started out with "I'm not going", that wouldn't have been enough to convince her. We've now seen Steven interact with several different groups in the direct aftermath of the Aquamarine kidnappings: the townies, his family, and the adopted Homeworld gems. I don't know if there's plot space for another group, or whether we'll now have gems and Peridot playing off each other. In any event, I don't think we're going to see the Diamonds (or their representatives) attack by the end of this block. One way or another, Connie is coming back into the picture soon, and I expect fireworks. The TV show I most closely associate with the phrase "What do we do now?" is Sliders. After being screwed by multiple networks in a way that might even make an SU fan say "Wow, that's terrible", the show ended on a cliffhanger with one character traveling alone back to what he hoped would be his home planet. He and his fellow travelers had been warned by a fortune-teller that if they went, they would die. After the one guy goes by himself, everyone else stands around for a few seconds. The fortune-teller dies. One character asks "So... what do we do now?" Another says "I don't know." And the show ended forever. Thankfully we don't have to worry about that. (yet)

Second watch notes:

Steven. Buddy. I know you're sad, but dragging your ukulele through the sand cannot be good for its sound. Also, I wonder where he was gonna go with that song. I read/heard some speculation about the meaning of "I wish I could tell you..." but none of it landed on "She's just not answering the damn phone."

Happy Lappy is always great, but blushing Lapis is also cute. It's a shame that it didn't last.

Lapis knew that Steven had been to Homeworld and back, but it wasn't until he mentioned that he'd specifically met with the Diamonds, and specifically BLUE Diamond, that she went full-speed "fuck this shit i'm out"

Peridot's desperate bargaining might have worked if not for Lapis's "FINE WE'RE BRINGING F*CKING EVERYTHING" attitude (and the ability to do it).

Reminder to all: Lapis does not give two tenths of a shit for the Crystal Gems as a whole. She was ready to leave with just Peridot, and considered it a bonus when Steven showed up (presuming he'd come with), but she would not exert any effort to save Garnet, Pearl, or Amethyst (no matter how much fun it was to act like her).

I wish Peridot had reacted, even just flinched, to Lapis saying "This is different. Steven is important."

"They would upset you, so in general, I don't say those things." "Peridot, that's lying!" Useful relationship advice. Supporting your partner's well-being is one thing, but continually suppressing your own self to do so doesn't help either of you.

Steven is me any time two of my friends are arguing. It's awkward as hell, and I just want to be not there.

I haven't had the opportunity to point out the soundtrack for these episodes, but right as we see Lapis' shaded eyes, we hear one of the most iconic leitmotifs in all of the show: four ascending notes, then four descending notes, hearkening all the way back to "Mirror Gem". To Lapis's tortured past. It's unmistakable, it's one of my favorite instrumental pieces.

Lapis looking back and then moving on has nearly brought me to tears each time I've watched it so far. When she said back in "Same Old World" that that's just how it is with her, she wasn't wrong.

Christ almighty, this is a depressing ending. Just a brutal gutpunch.