#its nothing i did she doesnt hate me i didnt ruin anything its nothing i did

[ganondoodle]

more thoughts

big part of why i loathe what totk did with its story and lore is that it tremendously hurts botw in retrospect

i said that before and mentioned all of these points before as well but i just have to mention it again; how totk did away with all the little mysteries in botw, like the ancient hero looking kinda strange leading to lots of interesting theories- WHOOP its a sonau mix guy revealed through a collectable and its straight up said by purah/impa that that is the ancient hero .. like it was an always known fact ......

the sonau ruins in botw of a long gone group of people that lived in the forest of phirone - WHOOP those are just monuments built by hylians in memory of the sonau and actually their real architecure isnt rare and few but everywhere en masse and doesnt resemble the ones from botw at all, aside from some vague dragon motive; theres more stuff of the oh so sadly gone and not at all mysterious anymore sonau left than there was of the ancient shiekah in botw (and now it doesnt exist at all anymore, who cares about them, how important they were, or this worlds history, especially zelda, she never cared about shiekah or history that wasnt about sonau :)))) )

one of the biggest crimes, to me, personally, is what totk did with the dragons not actively mind you, but still changed my view of them and i hate it; i always saw them as these ethereal otherwordly spirits older than time itself (i liked the idea of them being like a final evolution of the dragons from skyward sword, tho of course i dont need that to be canon lol) and then totk comes along and .. the newly revealed -always been there super cool- race of people from the sky is heavily based on their designs ... and they have armor sets imitating the dragons ... and have ... magical never heard of before stones that turn people into .... dragons .... i get how that can be an interesting thing for people to connect but for me personally ... its a mystery that REALLY shouldnt have been solved, at all, or even touched, the fact that you knew nothing about the dragons other than they are here was what made them feel so much more divine and awe inspiring (i know you could try to think of it being the other way around, the sonau worshipping the dragons so much they dedicated all of their cultur around them ((but then again were is that anywhere, if they worshipped them so much then they sure didnt matter in any of what we say of them in memories..)) ... but the sonau designs, the armor ... the stones ... its all such an obvious connection ...) and its really hard for me to ignore it, i actively have to work now to keep seeing the dragons as these untouchable ethereal spirits instead of some sonau guy eating a fucking stone

and yet again its like .. can you really blame me for feeling weird about the sonau/dislike them when ... theres nothing that WASNT touched by the sonau, they already had tech way above the level of the shiekah, they were in the sky, the surface AND the underground all along, theirs is the actually important influence on the history of the world, they have been in every place that was once important, hell they were in every place were a settlement of people is EVEN THE FEW YEARS OLD TABURASA (tarrey town), their buildings look like they were abandoned 10 years ago, all their shit is still working, they founded (this) hyrule, they are the royals, they are the gods, they are the dragons, the ancient hero was a sonau mix clad in waht totk made out to be their signature design elements-

we had recordings from that time (tapestry) and even PEOPLE (the monks) and yet the sonau were a total mystery? even though their culture was literally still there when the shiekah built their tech?

what gets me escpeially is how .. they didnt NEED to erase anything shiekah, they didnt need to act like they never existed, they didnt need to make the sonau be the coolest guys ever and were so desperate to get that into your thinking everyone in the game is obsessed with them and tells you why you should be obsessed too

like am i just insane or is it a rather .. obvious connection to make that the shiekah found the tech of the sonau and built theirs inspired by what they could find, it was so old at that point that its non functional or even recognizable in the present, but when the shiekah found it they could still research it; given how the shiekah built multiple shrines and puzzles to them WITHTIN ruins that, in botw, were sonau ruins, i thought that was the logical line to draw and a good way to connect them while still leaving the sonau to be a mysterious ... mystery (this is what im going for in my rewrite btw)

also another thought, if the ancient shiekah could see the future to a degree they built stuff to prepare the next hero for the next calamity that would happen in thousands of years .. how did they never find out about gan? i know they were more about the future than the past but like ... were they really so stupid to see that the calamity will come back just the same from the same place and NOT investigate?? ESPECIALLY considering that the weird half sonau ancient hero was literally THERE when they saw the furture and built all of that for it???? the sonau werent gone gone in any sense and you CANNOT tell me that the shiekah jsut ignored this weird half whatever looking guy outfitted in an aesthetic and culture that wasnt obviously present anymore and clearly connected to somethign else, with probably clear scars were whatever buildings were lifted into the skies- SOMEHOW- and monoments LITERALLY STILL READABLE IN THE PRESENT that tells you about all theshit that went down?? even if you hid them with some weird mechanisms, are you realyl not gonen investigate?? also why hide it anyway?? if its supposed to be a monument to the sonau why the fuck would you built stuff to HIDE the information from it?? gan cant reach it anyway bc hes KINDA STUCK you are telling me the group of people with a vision of the future and high tech stuff that are famously obsessed with the stars and sky didnt see any of the sonau shit floating around there?? ohoho but it was hidden by magic uwu WHY bc you wanted to wait thousands of years for the "right" link to come around?? so you let thousands of people suffer and die just bc you wanted a specific guy? why not the ancient hero instead?? and solve the problem right then and there?? or would that mess too much with the history all of the sudden, you didnt care about messing anythign else up before either

its all just so messy if you start to think even a little bit about whatever the fuck happened in totk and i ahte it, it solves stuff that didnt need solving, ignores or even erases stuff that didnt need erasing and was all ready to go and be more explored, its infuriating

(also additional thought about the previous rant where i mentioned how characters, esepcially zelda, regress HARD in chaarcter development) someone mentioend this about link and ... YEAH, in botw the main thing was the connection between link and zelda, how they didnt like each other at first and at the end were THE brotp; in totk, aside from zelda mentioning how strong link is, theres nothing, the link that was revealed in botw to only be so silent and expressionless (not fully but like supressing everythign rly) bc of the immense pressure that was put on him is now just the most importanest sword guy who didnt even shed a tear when you get the memories of zelda basically killing herself; or did he know she will just be returned to normal with no harm or memory done no problemo in the end?? i dont WANT link to talk mind you, i never want to hear him talk tbh, i like him being mostly silent aside from his grunts when he climbs a cliff or soothes a horse (i go non verbal in high stress situations too) but you could have shown him be affected by it at all, or idk DO ANYTHIGN WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP they are best friends whod die for each other but that doesnt actually matter in anything bc he just do what sword man does-

[ilovechubbieguys]

Chapter 3🍓

-lmk if you guys have any criticism i love criticism as long as its respectful!! Enjoy! Chapter 2 here!

-------------------------🍓-----------------------

"Blake?.."

He turned around with a sour look on his face. I mean god he looked so diffrent i had no clue it was him.

I mean can you blame me! Its been 5 years since high school. Im shocked he recognized me to fast.

Theres no way hes still mad?! He knows i had nothing to do with any of that. Right? I mean ya i was there but iiii didnt do anything. That was all jenny and her boyfriend. I was simply a bystander. Kinda.. not really.

I do feel bad now that i think about it... he didnt deserve that. No one does. God i was such a little bitch in highschool

------------epic flash back memory------------

Jenny: heyy blake

Blake: oh uh hey jenny

Jenny: i wanted to ask you something

Blake: uh ya sure whats up

Jenny: did you have a date to prom yet?

Blake: no, no i dont why

Jenny: oh ok great! You know my friend y/n?

Blake: ya ive seen her around

Jenny: well she was wondering if youd go with her!

Blake: wait really?

Jenny: ya here ill put her number in your phone!

Blake: ok sounds good

--------end of epic flashback memory---------

Long story short it was all a joke. I stood him up at prom just for the fun of it...

I know im an asshole but i couldnt say no to jenny shed ruin me! She was the most powerful girl at school

And ive changed! I could never do somthing lile that to someone now.. i just hope i can make him see that

I walked back to the living room and saw issac was back but blake had left. I dont blame him between his getting yelled at by tanner and being faced with his highschool bully i wouldnt be shocked if he didnt come out till i left.

After a while of talking me and tanner ended up in his room taking turns taking hits from a cart tanner swore was his.

We where talking about everything and everything, you know high thoughts. Suddenly the door bust open "TANNER DO YOU HAVE MY NEW C-" it was blake

He stopped dead in his tracks staring at me, cart in hand mid hit. I froze up not knowing what to do. Was i smoking his cart right now...

I swear im gonna kill tanner.

"Tanner. Is that my cart shes hitting right now."

"Maybe..."

"OMG IM SO SORRY TANNER SAID IT WAS HIS"

"Just keep it i dont want it now that its been anywhere near you"

What. Did he just call me dirty..😧 i looked over at tanner "im gonna kill you."

Some time goes by and i decide i should go apologize to blake and not just for the cart. Tanner told me which room was his and i knock on his door.

*knock knock*

"Blake? Its y/n"

I dont hear a responce so i go in. Hes sitting at his desk playing seige. I take a look around his room. Rugs on the wall? Thats an interesting choice but i liked it.

I asume he didnt hear me so i walk up to his chair and tap his shoulder lightly trying to not scare him.

"Blake?"

He pulls the left side of his headphones off his ear but doesnt turn to you, to focused on the current match hes in.

"Hey blake i just wanted to say im sorry... and not just for the cart. Which i will replace.."

He doesnt say anything but you hear him sigh "ya like id believe that." Fair point

"Im serious blake i dont know why i was such a bitch in highschool you didnt deserve that..." i tried to sound as genuine as possible

"Well you where a bitch and thats that. Now get out"

Oh my god. He is impossible and ya sure im a better person but im still not gonna put up with disrespect "listen blake im trying here ok which is alot better then nothing at all" you say matter of a factly. I notice he had died in his game as his screen lit up red

He stood up from his chair and turned to me "ya hallelujah your a saint, a changed person thats great bye" he got pretty damn close to me for hating me and all

Ill admit him being this close to me made me relize he really was cute... maybe if he didnt hatw my guts hes a nice guy who knows..

But i sure as hell am not giving up this easily.

---------------------------------------------------

GUYS ILL ADMIT THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT THE BEST IM SORRY 😭😭I GOTTA BUILD CONTEXT.

[hearts401]

can you pass the golden duo headcanons i think you would have good ones

🤲🤲🤲my hands are open ready to catch them

RUBS MY FUCKING HANDS TOGETHER IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THEM SM UVE COME AT THE RIGHT TIME

echolalia. i already said that but. ECHOLALIA. shit gets tossed around. funny words youd find in a dr seuss book.

holding hands, leaning on each other, and lots of hugs!!!! best friends 2 me :(

cassidy wasnt super nice to him when they were alive and she regrets it a lot because of how things turned out and shes super defensive of him now

that being said, she never bullied him and was actively rude to anyone who did. she didnt particularly like him but she wasnt gonna stand for the harassment. if shed known about his party, she couldve saved him and i think she thinks about that a lot

i think eventually she apologized formally and he assured her it was fine and that he forgave her. because she of all people deserved it

he listens to her vent her frustrations. sometimes she reminds him of michael with how angry she is, but he knows how to calm her down and he always remembers shes nothing like michael was

he keeps her company in ucn when being around everyone is too much. hes forgiven them but sometimes things are hard still. sometimes he cant be around them. and she really needs company too. he knows she wont come to him, so he goes to her.

he doesnt like the gore or blood so cassidy will talk to him when theyre stuffing nightguards

hes still scared of animatronics so none of the kids greet him as animatronics. they care about him sosoososo much

evan would do fucking anything for cassidy. anything.

she knows his anxiety triggers pretty well by this point and she knows how to distract him. and vice versa.

casisdy doesnt panic as much as she gets over emotional and freaks out. does that make sense? she has more anger than fear and it fucks her up and hes always there when she gets tired of it.

he does her hair because he died before he could ever do his own. he wishes hed grown out his hair before he died

she encourages any behaviors he hid because of michael. she encourages anything that goes against michael.

shes a terribly influence on evan but its because she lvoes him and thinks he deserved better. he thinks she has enough anger for the both of them. she knows hes right and she hates it because HE deserves this anger.

they fight a lot but its never like cassidy and charlie. if cassidy fought with evan like she fought with charlie itd ruin both of them.

if theyd lived they probably wouldve run away together and been roomates

they like to joke that theyre soulmates (platonically) in both a figurative and literal sense. get it? because their souls are connected in golden freddy? they are my world

when they first meet in GF its tense. they end up caring about each other but theres lots to figure out and understand. she cant yell too loud at him because it reminds him of his dad, she cant play certain pranks on him like she might with her friends because it reminds him of michael.

she learns when to be loud and open with him and when she has to be gentle. he gets used to her shenanigans but sometimes things are too much

shes jokingly mean to her friends but not as much to evan because he doesnt always get its a joke

shed have loved to do his makeup and his nails. if theyd lived and moved out together the first thing they wouldve done is dye their hair and paint their nails and do their makeup and buy clothes they KNOW their parents would hate.

thats all i have in my brain rn they make me sad

[kusundei]

iiiii. am. normal. i mean? as normal as i’ll ever be.? its just like. yeah no i feel better sort of but thats also the bad part. oh bcuz who am i.? im trying again not to condemn myself over it but i cant exactly help feeling bad whenever iiii feel okay again. who am i to be normal??? to act like everything js okay and nothing happened?? its just. incredibly selfish. half the reason i keep just kind of distracting myself is because if i am alone for too long j will start thinking about it and i’ll be evil but isnt that whats supposed to be happening anyway? im not relinquished of anything. he can be as kind and sweet as he wants because he truly is just at his core but he is. way too kind to me when i am so incredibly undeserving.

ive always sort of felt undeserving of everything regarding him but i chose to look past it because i am better. i am a good person i am okay and i can be better and im not condemned to my past but idk. this just reminds me that no i am still selfish and i am still not . really a good person. it really has just kind of brought the attachment style and allll my doubts back into the forefront of my mind ljke it was before. like when we first started dating and i was horrified. didnt believe anything he said really but i worked through it its just like? why am i doubting him now? i was the one who hurt him so why is it making me? falter?

i mean im just asking a rhetorical question because i know. iiii always know. its just that i truly dont believe he means any of it anymore because j huuurt him. the one thing thats always sort of bothered me is when he deemed me perfect, which is such a nice and flattering sentiment but i think it weighed down pn me this feeling that i HAD to be perfect when i knew deep down i had already made such a bad mistake. which is why it was so scary? i knew how he was going to take jt and j tried to just accept it and work through it and j AM. i am i am i am but i keep going back and forth on how i want to deal with this. do i keep acting like im okay and everything is okay and live like that? because it would work and it would probably help him so much more than me focusing on how much i hate myself now but i just feel. horrible if i do do that. but is that me self sabotaging again by truly preferring to condemn myself and let this kill me? like it did last time?

i dont know. again it kind of has just reminded me of last time. but the issue with this compared to how it was with jd is that that issue w jd happened about a year and a half into our relationship and the worst part? it ruined it. it festered there and grew more and more till it killed both me and her because it stuck. ajax and i arent even at 2 months yet and jve already? done? something? that detrimental? its just like. i need to change something. find something. DO something different. because i know what i did with jd last time and jm trying not to repeat a cycle. i’ll be different ill try ill do everything i can because iii cant. as selfish as it is i cant let. this . go. i cant let HIM go either and j feel horrible about it again but i just i dont know

its just so weird because. its all came back. and its so unhelpful. because i KNOW hes still going through it and he doesnt believe me and things r just different but why is it also different for me? i should just be focused on him. doing the most i can to make him feel better and really emphasize that nothing has changed in me especially regarding how much i love him. its just i also keep just feeling. so. so guilty. it comes and goes in waves again. it truly is just the fact that hes right. because if i do love you this much then why would i do that to you? why did i do that? and my only answer is just that i am selfish. because i didnt know how to keep my mouth shut and i made such a personal thing out to be just another thing i could just say because iiiii trust them. but HE doesnt know them. j told her for what? because i needed her to know? she didnt need to know that. even if i was as shocked as i was and still processing it and wanted to talk about it i shouldve kept it to myself and processed it silently. instead i put him last and ignored the matter of fact that this would affect him badly just because iiiiii wanted to talk about it . i was selfish and put myself before him and this always happens when i do so. truly why dont i ever learn? what is wrong with me?? i keep kind of forgetting about it all and then it comes back. then goes then leaves. what sucks is truly that . im so doubtful again. its not that i dont trust him and i dont believe him its just that i hate myself. i hate myself all over again and its making me unable to believe that i deserve any of this AGAIN. that no. hes lying to me. he doesnt mean it hes just saying that? ive hurt him too much . because theres no way he just has no negative feelings toward me when i was the one who did that. and let alone if he IS telling the truth then thats worse because why am i spared? why am i given the benefit of the doubt when he has vocalized that if it was anyone else he wouldve hated them? so why is jt different for me? you SHOULD hate me. thats the problem.

[hauntedotherworld]

i cant take it anymore. its too painful and i have nothing but suffering thats all i feel and its always been hopeless

i have NOTHING, no one at all to live for .. the one i lost i dont even .. i dont even know if i want her back, although i know we will never meet or talk ever agaib. its already been years. its hard when the person is your fp or.. ex fp.. the feelings that are overwhelming stay but at the same time i have so much anger and despair for what she did. i wish it never happened i had no control over it and i hate it, i HATE HER . SHES THE WORST and never cared like i did, even though we had such a strong bond.. to her it was normal friendship which by the end disapeared.. not for me. because my fucking fucked up head isnt like everyone elses and so im left all alome all i have is suffering, nothing will ever be good enough anymore. i doubt i could even feel that ever again.. i hate her too. i wish i never met her, because otherwise atleast i couldve not known what that felt like. to have an fp. someone who is the entire world for me and i couldnt do shit about it . all i can think of is memories and mourn it . but i also hate her and in one way do not care or wish to EVER meet her again- which again will never happen anyway.. i just feel so fucking empty and have forever but it gets worse the older i get. i cant feel ANYTHING FOR LIFE let alone others now. im living for no reason at all. every part of the day is just empty, void depression and deep bored and loneliness. nothing and no one can fill that anymire either, i knew that when i had gone to college (for a few months until i dropped out and left those great friends id made) because it didnt make me feel ok and i couldnt handle it , i left as always. so i never have anybody. and when i try and form a conmection with stra gers , just to feel sometthing - i feel absolutely nothing at all . nothing now. all i do id hate myself and stuck in my head.

i never want a family i dont care about love anymore or anything and all i feel is that deep empty, despairing feeling and its unBEARABLE .. every fucking day. all i can do is repeat that in my mind and breakdown because what else am i able to do except die? but aside from my anxiety about that, even dying doesnt sound good anymore.. because what will happen? i feel i wont go to heaven because i quit church because of the horrible _thing there. i dont really care abput anything.. except my dog but that isnt enough to make me able to get through when everythings missing and IT ALWAYS WILL BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. HAVE THIS MENTAL ILLNESS, BPD, AND MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH ANXIETY AND OTHER SHIT THAT RUINED EVERYTHING. ive tried SO hard. so fuckinh hard everyday its torture it always has been but its gotten worse to the point i can hardly think i just feel like an empty shell and the pain is like nothing else. i dont know whatll happen if i die, but whatever happens it should be better than this.. if not, i cant escape it itll come on its own if i dont. so i should just do it. no one cares anyway and i dont either

im just so heartbroken and what i fucking had to be and what my life hd to be. its not fair and nobody except others like me know what this is like.

i cant do it guys its harder and harder and i cant carry on i swear to god

[gloopdimension]

okay so what . specifically did gibby do to get wayne and dedusmuln (and possibyl snosa) pissed at him. i have a general idea of pongormas deal with him (fucking hate you for that [/positive]) ((but also go into specifics with piongorma if you want because it sounds neat. not neat in a "woah you got really fucked up by that event lol teehee :3" but in the interesting headcannon way.)) (((you get rwhat i mean righ)))

OKAY WAYNE FIRST OFF ill do him first. they used to be married as a means to unite their kingdoms bc wayne was desperate to have his people in a safe place and economy and such. and gibby wanted more people and area to rule over. so they married to become one. in short their relationship initially was good but things happened with time and things Got Really Bad. gibby was never phyiscally absuive to wayne [save for one incident which ive written a fic about!] but he was very verbally nasty[ he took out all of his rage on wayne in private scenarios.] when wayne left the palace he was like. ruined. gibby fucked him UUUPPPP and he was mad as hell about how giby treated his citizens and his lust for power and GRHHRAAA ALL OF THAT. wayne doesnt like him.

AS FOR DEDUSMULN: gibby didnt do anything to her speciifically she lives under-the-radar enough to be mostly unaffected by his reign. BUT DEDUSMULN HATES MONARCHS AND KINGS AND QUEENS. shes painfully aware of how he treats his people and it infuriates her to see people be so blind to it and act as if nothing is wrong. AND ALSO shed be mad as hell abt him taking away the joys of unearthing relics from the old world times!

snosa: she doesnt have any specific grudge against gibby i dont think, really, BUT SHE'D BE MAD AS HELL IF HE REARRANGED THE TERRAIN AND FUCKED UP HER RANCH.shes depressed to hell and back and her ranch gives her something to do. something to get up every day for when wayne isn't around. gets her up and movin and in the sunlight and not shut in all day. she wont let some dipshit selfish king take that all away!

PONGORMA. AAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA AAAHAHAHAHHSAHAHAHAHEHAAG3EHGAEHGAGHE. YES. PONGORMA. heehee<3. her deal with gibby is verrry convoluted and i think id make it its own post[IVE ACTUALLY made a comic abt one point of their interactions]. do tell me if uve got a specific question abt it though bc ive like thought about it like Extensively

[areyoudoneyetneon]

no one wants to try and hear me out on y feeligns, not him not her

they only deem it as me trying to argue when im onlu trying to explain myself and when im crying it's only seen like im being a nuisance. its like theyre saying "are u done yet bro?"

like im obviously still sad about it, i obviously need time. why does their have to be a time limit on my feelings?

it feels like im \in so much pain and i know i feel pain so much more than the people i surround myself with cuz i cant stop being such a little bitch

everyone js see's me as a submissive little bitch when im trying to explain myself nand explain that im hurting still

i have no one to talk to, no one to speak to about this and the only thing i can do is be even more pathetic on the internet. its so pathetic and i hate myself so much for it

because she thinks its pathetic to be this way

to be so sensitive and i wish i wasnt

its so pathetic that i cry all the time

people like to preach that its okay to cry but it isnt. everytime i show my vulerbility to anyone it gets taken as annoyance.

"just let me sleep"

its not even like i was arguing with her anymore, i was trying to get reassurance before she sleeped and all she care abt was sleeping

she was so obviously annoyed with me

it was like she was saying "can we wrap this up? ik youre crying rn but i just dont wanna deal with you"

and i know no one wants to deal with me anymore. even if im in the right its taken for ransom like its js some crazy idea that i could be right abt my feelings

sometimes i just really feel like dying and i wish it would work out better

i know i dont deserve to be happy. i deserve to suffer and i deserve to be raped and abused and molested and i dont deserve to be dead

i deserve to be dead and rotting in hell

im trying so hard

im trying so fucking hard to change and i am changing and i know it

i dont want the media i dont want my phone i dont want any of it

obviouslyh that other person didnt care enougn abt my felings or wanting to stay in the friendship any longer. he just completely ignored my feelings and thought more abt himself. he thought "WOW THIS PERSON IS WEIRD THIS PERSON IS WRIRFD" when he's literally lied abt stuff abt me and it made me wanna kill myself. i was in the lowest point that i felt i needed to snort up bath salts.

bath salts thta literally ruin you. i wanted to ruin myself

even i questioned myself if what i did was wrong for such a long time

i hated myself so much and i still do, i still fucking do

i know thst i desrve that kind of person in my life

i hate myself and i just want to quit

quit trying anymore

i wasnt trying to argue with anyone, i was trying to explain myself and whenveer i communicate how i feel, they take it as arguing and then it leads to an argument and i dont think they realize that

or maybe im just stupid and i just shouldnt ssy shit

maybe i am so worthless that my feelings dont matter anymore

no matter if i change

no matter if i change or not

no matter if anything ws forgiven, it doesnt matter

i know im so worthless im so fucking worthless

i know im a lowlife and barely make money, i know im gonna be homeless and die alone i justy know it

ive been trying to get a second job because she knows how worthless i feel when im doign absolutely nothing and she used it against me and it made me so sad too

she used it against me

she used my feeling of worthlessness against me. i feel so worthless i feel so worthless. im trying to mae money with my depop acc too and all she sees is worthlessness i just feel it

and she called me a psycho for the same shit she did to me and other people

i just wish she understood.

everytime i try with people in my life it goes stupid. and when im in the wrong im in the wrong and i get scolded for it but when im in the right i get scolded for it too. i get scolded for everything and i feel like it just means that either way, no matter what i do ill still be terrible. like the creator wanted me to live only for me to enjoy seeing a white bitch suffer and try to kill themself multiple times and it wont even let me.

ill still be terrible even if im doign something right. i cant take it anymore

i cant take it anymore i seriously cant, its so embedded.

its so embedded. i feel like people will hate mwe for the things i do even if its right or workng. its always been that way

forever and ever and ever and ever bro

and the only thing they could be thinking is "stop feeling sorry for yourself"

im breaking down bro please stop judging me for being offended

its obvious. you cant respect someones feelings after they fuck u over so why are u still here listening to me cry

i just wish i was dead and its not ever taken seriously. because i know one day im gonna be on the verge of doing it and people will only be thinking "brah the only reason i didnt try to help is cuz i thought they were bluffing" when in reality i will be pushed over the edge and im not saying its anyones fault. i just wish i hadny donje stupoid shit

[moondeer1616]

Vent

It's your birthday today. I would've wished you happy birthday but I know you don't want to hear anything from me. After all you didn't wish me a happy birthday either. It doesn't really matter either way. I still don't understand and hate a lot of things you did. I did shitty and annoying things but at least i didnt go out of my way to do most of them. Im not the one that reposted tiktoks that heavily implied that you were talking shit about me behind my back. I'm not the one that lied and said "it wasn't the end" of our friendship. And im not the one that went out of their way to text my shitty abusive birth giver in a civil way after you stopped talking to me knowing damn well all the horrible shit she's done, including threatening you and your family and scaring you guys in person??? Like what the actual fuck. Honestly thats what i get for loving someone. Thats what i get for trying to be a good person and love someone unconditionally. What-fucking-ever. It doesnt even matter anymore. I'm just so tired of life. I'm tired of having shit after shit after shitty days. I'm sick of feeling depressed and lonely. I always genuinely try to be kind and honest and caring but nobody appreciates it. If anything all it does is make them see me like a pathetic little child that deserves pity. Apparently showing affection and care for the ones you love is "corny" and cringey now. I'm sick of being treated like a stupid fucking child. I'm sick of nobody bothering to start a genuine conversation with me or bothering to ask why I am the way that I am. Im sick of being ignored everywhere i go and being treated like a ghost and at the same time being laughed at and made fun of. Even when I try to have good and happy days they're always ruined. The other day I just wanted to buy some clothes and feel good about myself and enjoy some time out but of course i had to be rushed by my stupid piece of shit fucking family and i didnt even get to enjoy whatever garbage i got. Then they all went to eat without me and then my birth giver proceeded to bang on the car aggressively because of my brothers shitty driving skills. Because yeah its totally okay to let a minor drive with no license in your car and then spaz out when he inevitably makes mistakes. But whenever i wanted to drive all of a sudden im not allowed. I dont even fucking care about driving. I just wanted to enjoy my life. I just wanted to have a family and genuine friends that bother to ask about my well being and show me love whenever they get the chance. But i know im fucking stupid for wanting those things. Nobody cares about me and nobody ever will. I always tell myself at the end of each day that I don't deserve to live and I should've just died. What's the point of moving on in life. There's no future where im happy. I'm going to be alone and unloved until the day I die and nothing will ever change that.

[strawberryspeachy]

I haven’t written much about this year.

The students are unmotivated and rude jerks. Whatever theyre teenagers and i tried to teach them. I wrote about some days that felt like wins but then theyd immediately revert back the next class

Here i am sitting here. Looking up why do my students hate me after i told them i have to leave and the vast majority are happy. The rest are apathetic with only a handful actually sad that I’m leaving

But at the past 8 schools ive worked my the vast majority of students love me

None of the reasons online fit me. And all ive thought all year is that they hate that i make them use their brains

So many kids in my classes as a student hated our teachers for the same reason. I knew it as a student and it annoyed me. Wed have a perfectly good and kind teacher but all the dicks in my classes would push and test them to see if they could break them. I always wanted them to just stop so I could pay attention. They wanted the teachers that sat back and let them goof off all class and no do anything. Then we take a test were not prepared for because we weren’t taught anything

I know im being the kind of teacher I LIKED as a student. And that its worked for me in the past. But it still feels pretty shitty

Of my first years who i thought all liked me. Most rlly didnt care that im leaving. I use the lessons that were already there. I make it lively. I add fun things. But i also make them use their brains… theyre doing phonics but i add critical thought questions because my older students cant do it and i want to start them early. They can do it. Ive gotten them thinking about what theyre reading and they can all answer well. But… seems most of them dont like me

I thought i finally won over my homeroom class. I never see them. I barely have any classes with them and i never got to do the homeroom duties i signed up to do. I stay around but most dont talk to me. And i gave them material to prep them to begin studying for college next school year. It was hard. All i wanted was tor them to try. And they seemed to finally understand that in the past month.

I really dont like the one girl. Shes new to the class this year and shes spend the entire year trying to distract the class when i talk or instigating bad behavior. I took her aside once in the beginning of the year and calmly told her to knock it off - and she listened better after that but she still does it. And honestly it ruins the class atmosphere. Shes always bad mouthing me under her breathe. Rolling her eyes. Smirking at the other students when i talk. Or just outright talkijt over me when im trying to explain things. And unfortunately shes popular in the class so its super disruptive. She has western family so her and another boy get mad that thry cant be effortlessly flawless in my class

Getting back to the they dont like me because i make them use their brains. The other students think those two are advanced and if they say something is too hard then it is. But they can do all of the work i give them. It doesnt take a long time for them to figure it out but it they DO need to use their brains.

Anyway bunch of them kept talking about how they were gonna improve next year and stuff so dumb me. I thought when i told them id be leaving theyd be a little disappointed but no. Apathy and immediately they started talking about the woman im subbing for who they barely know bc they only saw her for a couple months before she went on maternity leave and even then she called in sick all the time

All she did was have them do presentations while she sat around doing nothing because she didjt like them or teaching. Just like the other two bitch girls in the school. Then shes sit and zone out while they talked and say “good job”

I correct their work and give them feedback. I give them information and examples. I teach them new things. I sit down wnd help them figure it everything out and im happy to walk them through it

I just. It annoys me so much as both a teacher and a past student. I hated teachers who didnt help me improve. If i felt like i was doing busy work that they didn’t check i felt it was pointless and they were unnecessary in the classroom. I work so hard and i ensure im teaching my kids somethinggg

In the beginning of the year. My first class. I asked them to tell me what happened in Harry Potter. And they struggled. They couldnt explain much more than harry beat volemort and they couldn’t even tell me how. I had to hand hold them through the story even though they watched it and liked it and knew it.

I had them write a story as a class and they made a bizzare story about a character that did nothing and felt nothing.

Now they could walk me step by step through harry potter and tell me why everything happened and what the cause and effects of everything was as well as the characters motivations and relate it back to their personal lives and connect the story to the real world. They’ve written real stories about characters who feel and have goals and give them and entire story arch by themselves

They can write a simple thesis paper. They can create their own unique opinions and support them with strong and diverse examples

But yet

They’re excited at the prospect of someone who sits at their desk wkd does nothing all class coming back

I dont get mad at students

Im not strict

I do what i say ill do

I listen to their opinions

I talk them as young adults and take interest in their hobbies

I support their other school acitivies

I make fun activities for them and give them treats on special occasions

I know what the fuck im talking about and they have done all the work i ask them to do so im definitely teaching them how to do it

Im available but i also dont push myself in their conversations or activities like a weirdo - i let them come to me

And you know what its gotten me. They stole the expensive light i brought to make the dance party that i put together. They stole it. They lied about it. And they only gave it back when the male teachers threatened them about it.

If i didnt feel so dead. If everything else in my life wasnt already so heavy and mortifying. Id cry

The girl who hates teacher. Hates the kids. Doesnt do anything but take credit. Sits around like that other girl. Shes gonna be their teacher. Shell get all the credit for getting them into good schools. And theyll like her better because she doesn’t make them use their brain. And just plays basketball all class and flirts with the CHILD boys.

[etherealskeletons]

i have no idea what my cousin sees in peter hes such a fucking asshole all the time theres not a single day that goes by where he istn a fucking dick. hes extremely terrible to my dad and he gets nasty and catty with me and my cousin is like “well idk whats wrong with him lol” and white knights him so HARD. shes always giving excuses and theyre so flimsy, its always “your dad reminds him of his oldest son, and peter gets cranky/stressed out when hes near his kids or ex wife, he has a lot of trauma yknow:((” like??? that doesnt make it okay to be super nasty to everyone else. im full of fucking trauma but im not putting everyone else down and being an energy vampire. i cant imagine being so fucking toxic to literally everyone around me bc i cant get over that my ex wife was abusive to me, i cant imagine essentially becoming my ex wife and terrorizing everyone else the same way i was. but this man does, he does it almost all the fucking time. hes even terrible to his CURRENT WIFE, MY COUSIN. like??? wha t the fuck do you see in himm???? girl im gonna throw you down the stairs i hate this!!!!! i hate how stupid youre getting i hate that you allow yourself to be treated like this what happenED!!!!!! i hate how he treats everyone and how she lets him get away with it, i hate living here its so tense all the fucking time hes always so angry and upset

i hate my uncle i had to go to the house today, hes finally losing my childhood home. hes getting kicked out and the house its going to be renovated for someone else. its hard bc on one hand im glad its gonna get a makeover and will be in better hands bc currently it looks like a crack house bc my uncle is a shitty person who hangs out with skeevy people. going there was so fucking hard it just looks like shit i hate it i hated going there i hated seeing the house get WORSE.. i thought about taking pictures of the place but whats the point i dont wanna remember the hosue looking like this i dont wanna remember it like this at all it looks so awful i jus stood there and i couldnt stop shaking it was so intense being there. we ended up leaving early bc it was too much for both me and my dad but peter had a huge fuckign meltdown over it and HE WASNT EVEN THERE?? he cussed him out over facebook and demanded we go back bc you cant abandon family even though my cousin literally didnt ASK US to help or anything and she felt the exact same way we did??? she aws gonna dip super early after getting some plates like we did he really made a big deal out of fucking nothing it was so stupid??? we ewnt back and i GUESS its good that we did and that she also stuck around bc there was a few good things that came out of it. i have some of my grandmothers jewelry that she never wore, her old kitchenaid, and i found my grandfathers wedding ring (finding that and his glasses made me cry ouffh) but go d i cant go back to that house i just cant its too fucking much its terrible i hate it i hate it i dont care if peter gets mad and tells me how terrible i am i just cant handle it

i hate that my uncle screws ebveryone over i hate hearing from one of the roommates that hes gonna be living in his car bc my uncle screwed him out of his money for his methhead on again off again girlfriend, i hate that my uncle always plays victim and shoves blame on everyone else and bleeds everything dry and ruins everything. he does this all the time i ahte it i hate him i hate that hes been doing this for my entire life, possibly longer, and always gets away with it. he l;ooks awful too i just know hes using i know it and i feel sorry for him but god he caused so much pain and upset in this family i cant help but feel so much anger. (but i tried being an ‘”adult’’” i was being civil and nice. being around peter made me realize i cant BE like that i cant hold grudges and lash out bc someone reminds me of my fucking mom or my ex girlfriend. NOT LIKE I EVER DID BUT LIKE.... just being around that made me realize i cant keep holding onto everything, i HAVE to move on and let go. its over its so fucking over dude you cant keep living likethat its so unhealthy and it literally makes everyone miserable)

but i still hate this fucking.. white trash ass red wing fucking family, i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate that i feel stuck i hate that i spend most of my days rotting and nights crying because everything is too overstimulating and too much

[obsessive-ego]

Just go with it part 2

Musical beetlejuice x reader

You have to meet juno and pretend you and bj are getting married

Nsft sorta, mentions of activity

Part 1

"Babes"

....

"Sugar"

...

"Y/n"

...?

"Y/n wake up, come on babes"

...!

"Beej?" You mumble rubbing your eyes "what's wrong?" You say in a whisper.

He doesnt respond, you turn on the lamp by your bed and check your phone clock

5:42am

You sigh, looking back at the demon, now being able to see him clearly, you freeze upon seeing that the demon was now completely purple, his hair, his beard, his tie, all deep purple.

"What's wrong?" You ask again, more fear in you voice then intended

"Okay y/n" he starts, using your name rather then a pet name was never a good sign "so you remember a few nights ago when that suit came by to see if I was lying about our relationship?"

"He's back?!" You sit up, more awake "wait... wasnt the repercussion to that not that bad? Just some extra work for you?"

Beetlejuice rubs his neck "yeah, thing about that, it's not him... my mother is here, to talk to you personally..." he trails off refusing to look at you

"Your mother...." you repeat feeling your stomach drop

"Yeah..."

"What's gonna happen if she finds us out?" You ask in a whisper

"...who knows with her" the demon spits before looking away.

The two of you remain in silence over the shit beetlejuice has gotten you into it.

Beetlejuice huffs out his nose as his focus goes back to you.

"So y/n, I mean honey~" the demon pulls you up from your bed and into a side hug "ready to meet mommy dearest?" Beetlejuice tried to smile, make light of the situation, but his hair betrayed him, remaining a deep purple, even though he tried his best to plaster a grin across his face for your sake.

You didnt know much about Beetlejuice's mother, other then she didnt exactly win mother of the year, beej only opened up about her a handful of times, long story short, you knew this was gonna be a rough experience for both of you, but mostly Beej.

Beetlejuice drops his jacket around your shoulders, pulling the same ring he gave you to fool the suit, the same tacky, pretty ring, the band was black and white, and resembled a snake, the gem was a brilliant green, your heart swelled at the sight of the ring.

The ghoul drops on one knee, and gently slides the ring onto your middle finger, pausing to kiss your hand before giving you wink, under different circumstances you would die from such a cheesy romantic gesture, but now was not that time, you did appreciate beetlejuice trying to lighten the mood.

"Alright honey, you remember the drill?"

"Yes"

"That's my future wife, let's not keep the bitch waiting" he smiles linking arms with you

Future wife...

You couldnt help but give the ghoul a soft smile at the thought.

Beetlejuice takes a deep breath, smoothing his hair back, wiping the purple away in favour of his default green.

The demon grabs your hand begins to lead you to your living room, you could barely focus over the sound of your heart pounding, who could blame you, you were about to come face to face with someone Beetlejuice was afraid of.

As the two of you head down the hall , she was finally in sight, you felt your stomach drop, in your recliner sat an old woman, dressed completely in red, she had a permanent scowl across her face, her whole presence give off a bad feeling.

"Lawrence, you took your sweet time fetching your fiance" she barked causing beetlejuice to flinch

"Ya know breathers, they like their sleep-" he forces a laugh, purple slowly creeping back into his hair

"Nonsense, it's nearly 6am, that's more then a reasonable time for breathers to wake and start their pointless routines" she waves off, beetlejuice frowns and leads you to the couch, where the both of you sit.

"Its been awhile huh Ma? Like I was saying earlier, it's nice to see you again and-" beetlejuice was babbling

"Zip it" was all she said and beetlejuice clamped his mouth shut and gazed down staring at his feet. "Lawrence, I didnt come here for pointless pleasantries" her eyes meet yours "y/n l/n I dont know what Lawrence has done to you or promised you, but I can assure you he doesnt care about you, and just wants freedom, further more Lawrence, do you honestly think this breather could love you? This game of yours needs to come to an end, there is alot of paper work tied up in this farce of yours"

You were taken back by her words, she really didn't beat around the bush.

"I dont-" you start, voice trembling

"Ma, y/n loves me and I love them, see~" beetlejuice grabs your hand to show his mother the ring, she eyes the ring for a moment, then goes bad to staring daggers into her son, her scowl never faltering.

"Tacky" she huffs, a simple response like that was enough to shut her son down, beetlejuice pulled away from you, pressing his back firm against the couch, lips pressed shut and hands clamped together in his lap.

"As I was saying, Lawrence is a natural born troublemaker, and youd be smart to back out of this farce before he gains life, knocks you up with a life ruining disappointment, and vanishes from your life" she droned as she lights a cigarette, taking a deep inhale, smoke shooting out from her neck.

You swallow hard.

"I would prefer if you didnt smoke in my house, ma'am"

Juno stares at you for a moment, then shakes her head as she puts out her cigarette on your coffee table.

"Ma'am I really do trust beetlejuice, and I love him, this isnt a farce-" you began, but your words were ignored

"If you want to throw yourself into a mess, I wont stop you, I'm not here to save you, but I have to applaud his efforts on tricking someone LEGAL this time for his little game. Even though this mess of yours is going to keep him out of my way for awhile, it doesn't cover the fact that Lawrence's efforts have caused my office nothing but work. And even if this "love" was real the boy ruins everything thing he touches, cant do anything right, having him around only causes headaches, you'll see soon enough y/n," Juno's hurtful words drone on, as if her son wasnt sitting across the table from her.

"Back to the matter, even if you do choose to marry this fool, I wanted to warn you about the mess your getting yourself into, giving him life would only cause you grief, and I dont want to hear it when you get to the netherworld after a suicide his actions caused"

You grit your teeth at that last remark, you knew juno thought poorly of beetlejuice, but did she honestly thing her son was so awful that youd kill yourself over his actions, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"Lawrence, why is your hair purple?"

You glance over to beetlejuice, who infact was completely purple, the deepest purple you've ever seen him wear.

Beetlejuice bites down on his lip, his hands clenched in fists as they sat on his thighs, he was frozen.

"Bee?" You gently whisper as you slowly place a hand on his, the ghoul flinches at your touch, beetlejuice slowly takes your hand in his and gives it a light squeeze.

"Come on Ma, y/n my be dramatic, and get mad at me from time to time, but they'd never kill themselves over anything dumb I'd do, and hell we already talked it over, we dont want kids" the ghoul leans into you for support.

Juno scowls "to remind you both, I'm not here to stop you two, the only thing I'm here for is to warn this foolish breather, and double check to make sure YOU arent mucking about and blackmailing the living again, there is a lot of paper work involved in this little game of yours, and you still havent delt with the paper work of your failed marriage and death by the hands of that poor child you tricked" her eyes narrow down to beetlejuice, juno pauses, then sighs

"Lawrence just come clean, this little game of yours has gone on long enough, even if you didnt blackmail this poor soul into marrying you, do you honestly think they love you? You dont actually think this breather wants you around do you?"

"That's not true, I do-"

You werent able to finish that sentence, with a snap of juno's fingers your mouth is now cover with a strip of duct tape.

"You've honestly fooled yourself into thinking you could be loved didnt you? Pitiful, maybe this breather found you amusing now, but you dont think it's going to last do you?" Her questioning goes on, she was convinced her son was unlovable, you tug away at the duct tape but it refuses to budge, beetlejuice was too focused on his mother's words, to the point where he was starting to believe her, the purple slowly faded from him in favour of white, a color you've never seen on him.

"Lawrence you're little game is over, and you're going to clean up the mess you made, I have a decade's worth of paper work for you to fill out over this farce and every other little issue you caused, I knew from the start this was fake, no living person in their right mind would let you into their life willingly"

A decade's worth of paper work?! Was that so important that she was willing to manipulate her own son into thinking he was worthless?

"Lawrence you are such a screw up, the amount of work your little games keep giving me is coming to an end, you will never be alive, you will never be loved, let alone tolerated, and you are coming back to my office to straighten up ever little issue you have caused, if you think being invisible for a millennia is bad-" she raises her voice with each hateful word.

This duct tape wasnt going to budge, so you went with plan B, you roughly bump into the demon's side to get his attention, beetlejuice looking your way, your eyes grow wide at his expression, he was crying, black gooey tears. The two of you stare at each other what felt like an eternity, Juno's voice no longer reached him, beetlejuice snaps his fingers and the duct tape vanishes from your mouth.

You jump up from you position on the couch "I'm sorry ma'am  but bee- Lawrence isnt worthless, and yes, he can be an ass, and insensitive at times, but I love him and I really do want to marry him! And whatever stupid paper work that is tied up in this, can just fuck off..." your voice tweaks as the ghoulish women sitting across from you stands up, eyes dead set on you.

You werent great with confrontation, and beej knew this, but here you were talking back to his mother, you  his tiny sweet breather talking back to a literal monster. The white from Beetlejuice's hair quickly left in replacement to pink 'I really do want to marry him!' Those words from your lips could have made his heart start beating , tho that was shortly lived when he saw this mother stand, purple took hold of his form once again.

He couldnt let you fight his mistakes alone, though he found it hot that you could be his knight in shining armor.

No, beetlejuice is quick to jump up and link his arm with yours "see ma, this little breather stole my heart, and hell, we've been planning our little wedding for months" beetlejuice snaps his fingers and in a flash his and yours clothes change. Beetlejuice wore a red tux made with crushed velvet, with a lacy front, his whole outfit screamed tacky, but that was him. Looking down at your self, you stifle a laugh, here you were, 6:30am, dressed in a red puffy lacing monster of a dress, in all honesty this wouldnt be your first choice, but now was not that time. Beetlejuice pulls you close, you could swear he could hear how hard your heart was pounding, could you blame yourself? He looked so handsome all dressed up, even if this was fake.

"My, my Lawrence, doesnt that dress look familiar, isnt that the dress you forced that poor child to wear the last time you played this game?" his mother sneers

"Its called a call back, and y/n loves it" he sneers back you nodded in agreement, beetlejuice continues "we're still working on a venue, trying to find a band, believe me, planning a wedding is exhausting, and oh! dont be surprised if your invite gets lost in the mail ma" the demon gives a shit eating grin, you smile seeing beetlejuice has gained SOME confidence back.

"I have no interest in attending your little wedding Lawrence" she spat "it's clear you're not going to budge, and still refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you always were a slacker, and if that's the case, once you die again you will be returning to my office to deal with the mess you made" her focus turns to you "or I could end this little charade by killing your ticket to life"

Your heart stops at her words, she was a demon, Beetlejuice's grip tightens on you, the silence must have been hurting him as much as it did you.

"But I wont, itd be too much a hassle ending a life before it's time"

You sigh in relief, and beetlejuice loosens his grip.

"This will end poorly for the two of you, and I dont want to hear it" juno walks past the two of you, and with a gesture of her hand the livingroom wall opens up to reveal an office full of the dead.

"Lawrence before you join the living I need to deal with one last errand, so I will see you later, and you" Juno's boney finger points to you "you have no idea what you've signed up for" and with that she was gone, the wall closes up as if nothing happened, the two of you collapse on the floor

"Shes gone" you sigh, you've never been more scared in you entire life then you were talking to Juno

"So you like your future mother in law?" Beej jabs you side

"Oh yeah, a delight" you snort, "how long do you think we have before she notices we havent gotten married?" You tone shifts to a more serious note

"No clue, guess you'll actually need to marry me now" he pulls you into a side hug

"What?" You stammer, beetlejuice laughs at your response

"HA! Just pulling your chain there doll, theres no way in hell she's coming back to check, if I know that Bitch shes going to file away those papers for me, there's no way she'll let them just sit there for who knows how long, and this time next week she'll be harping about something else" beetlejuice stands up and pulls you up with him as he sees you struggling to move in that dress, as you raise to your feet you mumble a thanks.

"You know beej, you really do clean up good, I mean, you look very handsome all dressed up" you smile, now that that two of you were safe, you felt it was the right time to say it.

The purple in the ghoul's hair quickly vanishes at your kind words and is replaced with pink.

"Well you know doll, the tux suits me, but it looks even better on the floor, you'll see on our honeymoon~"

"Is that so?"

"Dont believe me? I'll show ya right now baby~" the ghoul pulls you close pressing his chest against yours, as fun as this little exchange was it came to a halt when you yawned.

"What a way to start a weekend, early and terrified, I think I'm gonna get a few more hours of sleep" you grumbled rubbing your eye "you mind helping me out of this dress?" Beetlejuice goes wide eyed at your question, in a flash his hands were groping for the zipper on your back.

"Naughty minx" he purrs before you swat his hands away

"I ment with magic" you breath out, you may be tired, but your genitals were now wide awake.

Beetlejuice grumbles as he snaps his fingers bringing you back into your pajamas and him in his suit.

"Thank you, I guess this wouldnt be good night, see you in a bit" you shrug as you head to your bedroom to get a few more hours of sleep, you glance back at beetlejuice, who was purple once again, you frown

"Beej do you want to sleep with me? I mean you dont need to sleep, I just thought maybe, you wouldnt want to be alone right now?" After seeing his mother maybe he could use some comfort.

There was a long silence as the demon only stares back at you, you panic

"I'm sorry, that was stupid, I'll just, uh, see you in-" you babble as you spin in your heels eager to get away from this embarrassing situation. Before you could hide away in your bedroom you feel the dicey grip if the demon's hand on your shoulder, and in a deep gravely voice he purrs

"Isn't it normal for a husband and wife to sleep together?~" 

you honestly felt a shiver run up your spine.

The ghoul, now only in a pair of boxers has now cuddled up to you  his legs intertwined with yours, his arms wrapped around your waist, hand rubbing up and down your back, and head nuzzled into your chest, the demon now pink, purred feeling your hands scratching his scalp, his mother was wrong, you did love him, truly and unconditionally, maybe not now, but soon, he will marry you.

Bonus

It's been days since you met his mother, and it seems like beetlejuice has been back to stop caring about it, but sometimes you see him just staring off into space.

The ghoul had only one thing on his mind, replaying the memory over and over, of you shouting "I REALLY DO WANT TO MARRY HIM!"

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[bluebeetle]

ooo those comic asks let's go 1, 2, 9, 12, 15, 23, 34, 42 sorry that's so much i just want your comic takes

answering this was difficult bc my cat decided she needed to walk all over me and my laptop the moment you sent this

1. How has DC/Marvel/publishing company wronged you, specifically?

oh god in many ways. For dc:

>making talia evil >making cass evil and then ignorable

>making jason suddenly an antihero with no development to go from villain to hero

>letting babs walk again

>the whole mess with wally west after the reboot and the two wallys. also he hasnt talked to pied piper YET ITS BEEN YEARS

>almost everything about the n52 reboot honestly

>countdowns existence but esp the plotpoint where they took my fave minor character pied piper and handcuffed him to trickster and then had trickster be homophobic to him for most of the 52 issues; this is not treated as a bad thing. also trickster has known pied piper for years and was never homophobic before i hate dan didio

for marvel:

>constantly making the comics more like the MCU pls fucking STOP i hat you so much

>trying to make loki evil again. die.

>everything theyve done to wanda. everything. but esp making her not related to magneto again. or the incest thing in ultimates. ugh

2. What character death for the sake of drama was the worst?

dc: hmmmm most of the deaths i can think of i dont mind. i guess most ppls deaths in Heroes in Crisis, esp roy's. that was so dumb ugh. not big on them killing damian but the writing in batman and robin was rly good so it makes up for it. im sure theres someone im forgetting--oh WAIT

bart allens death in the flash it sucked so bad and one of his creators was so upset and died before bart allen was revived. that one definitely that one.

i blocked it from my mind

marvel: WANDA WANDA WANDA WANDA WANDA STOP KILLING ER OFF FOR DRAMA DEAR GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

9. What’s the worst plotline you’ve read?

oh boy. does all star batman and robin count its rly bad ghhgf i also didnt rly get checkmate (2021). also i guess theres a lot of talias bad writing that i went thru for damian ):

for marvel uhhhh i dont read enough marvel so i have nothing to say. maybe when i read house of M well say that one lol. i did read some of civil war in middle school?

12. Are there any comics you’ve read knowing they’re bad and why?

not many. all star batman and robin bc its so bad its funny. parts of rhato for that jason content but ive never finished it and i think rhato vol 2 isnt always bad.

for marvel, nah

15. Tell me about a plotline that could have been interesting if anyone else wrote it.

anything devon grayson does tbh like dealing with dicks stress over murder and guilt or him being romani (Tho him not knowing is dumb). it was so bad and racist ugh. other than that I think the spyral and ric grayson arcs coulda been good if they were like, combined maybe? and shorter. lmao

also the current robin 2021 run tbh... i think the idea of a tournment and damian grappling with guilt could be fun but the writer cares waaaaaay too much about his ocs to give damian real breathing room

speaking of damian: teen titans 2016 coulda been SO fun if they werent so racist and wanting to make damian a bad guy for caring about immigrants and people of colour lol. i rly loved what few good moments he had with wally, emiko, jackson, and the others.

for marvel... mybe trial of magneto coulda worked if the writers cared about magneto and wanda lol. or x-factor 2020 it had some good ideas but was ruined by the writers weirdness about akihiro and david... like just the racism combined with weird views of bi men lol

23. If you could erase one comic book from canon, what would it be?

oh this one is so hard.... either heroes in crisis (wally being a mass murderer) or batgirl 2011--no more abled babs she doesnt exist.

or countdown. i rly fucking hate countdown.

for marvel idk. can i just destroy the mcu instead

oh wait. ultimates avengers. pls i dont want to think about the ultimates universe maximoff twins ever AGAIN

34. Which retcon do you hate the most?

for DC, four come to mind:

>Parallax isn't Hal Jordans fault

so if u dont know hal jordan back in the 90s broke down after his city was destroyed by doomsday and he lost many loved ones. as a result he went full on villain (parallax) and ended up destroying most of the green lantern corps and caused the zero hour event

he then was killed and later came back as the hero spectre, basically being a ghost hero and trying to atone for his actions he did in the lowest point of his life

anyways later on geoff johns got the reins and revived Hal and said it wasn't hal's fult at all, he was just possessed by an evil space bug made of fear, the real Parallax.

aaaand i hate that. I hate taking away Hals role in everything and making him a victim. I dont mind the other retcons Geoff Johns did to GL lore--hell i prefer it because he really fleshed things out and added the other colours and explained the weakness to yellow even!--but I think it all could have been done without stripping Hal of any wrong doings or guilt. Its rly lame.

>Babs can walk again!

ok not rly a retcon bc she was still shot but i hate it i hate it so much die die die die die die die die

>Jason was actually a rly mean, stupid, and bad robin and no one liked him and his death was inevitable

He had his momentts of violence, yes but his anger had a trigger; he wasnt angry all the time, he was a sweet and intelligent kid who loved Bruce a lot and had a rocky relationship with Dick at first but they did eventually get along. He had a few friends, knew the titans, and was well liked by his family.

too many stories stress his violence and impulsiveness and make him out to be a bad person with at least trying to explore why he is that way and sympathsize with him.

not only that but the treating of his death as inevitable or his fault or anything like that frustrates me so fucking much bc the weight of death in the family, of its aftermath and a lonely place of dying, of under the red hood, really hinges on the fact that jasons death was a tragedy, one that shook Bruce like no other. because he lost his child who he loved!!!!!

wait fourth one

>theres two wally wests with the same powers

super lame. shoulda either made the black wally into bart allen with some explaination for the fake name or just kept the black wally and given him white wallys memories and stuff. maybe aged him up idk. it was such a cop out

for marvel. well we all kn ow what its gonna be

>WHY THE FUYCK IS MAGNETO NOT WANDA AND PIETROS DAD ANYMORE? WHAT THE FUCK? IT RUINS SO MANY STORIES AND ITS STUPID AND ITS JUST STUPID MCU BULLSHIT I HATE IT SO MUCH FUCKING UNDO IT

42. What’s a fandom trope you hate?

oh boy.

>Dick and/or Damian get rescued by the mean racists by Bruce and/or Tim and/or Jason. Cass and Duke are mysteriously absent.

>Bruce has all his kids with him! Who's Cassandra? (....who's duke?)

>Jason was manipulated by the big mean Talia into hating his dad. He has never done anything wrong in his life, its all Talia who hates Bruce so much she wants to marry him or something idk i never read a talia comic in my life

>Redhead jason. let it fucking DIE

>tim is the best robin ever and a lil uwu bean and damian and jason are just soooo mean and always wrong esp damian whos 10

>whats a woman

>did you guys know you make Dick hot without making him a '''''slut'''' esp since hes an SA victim.....

>im so tired of jokes about republican wally esp since none of these ppl have ever read his flash run or even know who linda park or hartley rathaway are

>making jack drake way more abusive than he actually is in canon (hes neglectful at times yes) for sad white boy points or making jason a victim of CSA for sad white boy points (also you guys know someone doesnt have to have been assaulted to hate sexual assault right????)

>making tim asian and jason latino. holy racist stereotypes batman

im sure theres WAY more i could do but theyve been blocked out of my mind for now

for marvel tbh i dont deal with the marvel fandom much so!

the most i could say is

>forgetting loki is bi and genderfluid bc they wanna fuck a white cishet boy

i did all of this and realised i only talked about dc and had to go back and add marvel btw jvfdhghfdhgfdh

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

BNHA characters and their genshin experiences

I've been way into genshin for the past couple months, if anyone wants to play with me message me (I'm lvl 45 rn) but be warned I have shitty internet and am a partial razor main

but this is mainly characters I can see actually putting time into genshin

Bakugou

Mains: Yanfei

his main has probably been most every pyro character at some point

he wants diluc so bad, whenever someone else complains that diluc ruined their pity he wants to ruin their existence

before yanfei his main was probably hu Tao

hed definitely play klee if he had her lmao but he doesnt and is patiently waiting for her rerun

he has a lot of 5 star characters and is f2p, he can always get banner characters within at least the first pity, but for standard 5 stars hes gotten keqing and qiqi way too many times and hes livid

especially as a previous hu tao main, he was begging for Jean, still has yet to come home

hes probably a very high level, not fully maxed out considering he hasnt been playing all that long, he was probably forced to start when the rest of the bakusquad started playing it and he just took off

has really shitty artifact luck though, like his characters arent bad or anything but they could be so, so much better

and ugh hes livid

explores everything, has 100% exploration everywhere, but hes not bored hes still got artifact farming to do and he enjoys terrorizing enemies

in co op he will set you and everything around you on fire. cope.

Todoroki

Mains: Xiao or Ganyu

probably only started playing because Izuku asked him to

kaeya has also been on his team since day 1 and he is never leaving doesnt matter his friendship has been level 10 for weeks now who cares

was f2p until xiao, who didnt want to come home at all, and he finally got him on his 180th pull

now he doesnt care and will buy primogems whenever hes bored

he has a lot of constellations on kaeya and hes so proud of that, probably c4, is considering buying way too many primogems just so that he can hopefully get his c6

now his artifact luck is godly, you'll go into a domain with him and be like ugh I got nothing and hes like I got a 4 piece set with all attack or crit rate/damage main stats like haha I hate you

but yeah his characters are very strong cause of this, but he doesnt put effort into building a lot of them, he only levels up and gives good artifacts to his team and a couple other characters he likes but everyone else just sits there for a while

hes not super obsessed with the game, but he does think its funny seeing bakugou get so upset whenever they do domains together

doesnt even bother doing daily tasks really unless hes trying to save primogems

Midoriya

Mains: Venti

hes so good at building characters, like he looks up builds online and watches those "do INSANE damage with these tips" videos - and he sets out to get them done and he does

bakugou is once again livid whenever they play together, because Izuku barely has to try and can do so much more damage than him

he does have to put in a lot of work for his artifacts though because he doesnt settle for the okay ones he needs the absolute best

he builds his favorite characters the most ofc, but he evenly distributes things to other characters he knows can be useful- those characters might not have insane stats but they're still good

will not kill timmies pigeons, hell hunt birds in the wild for fun though

definitely a food hoarder

also does a lot of exploring and probably has at least 90% for each area

Kaminari

Mains: Lisa

he is 1000% in love with Lisa, he took her quest very seriously

and so many people say shes horrible, he hates it, hes made her crazy strong out of spite

his team consists of only his wifus- meaning lisa, beidou, rosaria, and mona

for a long time beidou was his second but then rosaria came along and hes like ugh big tiddy goth gf, but lisa still remains queen

these are the only characters hes built though, save for a couple like probably razor and xiangling that he used before he fully got this team

is an ayaka saver

he doesnt care too much about most 5 stars but will sometimes get them just to say he has them, but they end up just sitting there rotting away because he never puts work into them

he does have hu tao though and would get ganyu if she ever had a rerun

Kirishima

Mains: Diluc Razor or Beidou

they're all on his team, the last person switches out but it's most likely zhongli or childe

hes all about dps, support who, he just wants to hit hard and do insane damage , so yes he made dps zhongli

except his builds arent that great, with some help his builds are decent, but on his own hell be like ugh that's some sexy 300 damage

probably didnt know what 90% of the stats even meant and just put random attack ones on people and went yeah that looks good

doesnt really care though and is just having fun so hell play how he wants (as he should) but he does have to ask for help when farming bosses

loves exploring but misses so much, hell get distracted easily and end up just messing around

honestly probably hasnt bothered to ascend his world since he got to level 35, if he did the quest hed probably go straight to 45 and even then hed still have extra exp because hes been there for so long oml

but eventually he would have to and hed be trying to do it like :,) this is fine and it takes him a lot of tries but he gets there eventually,,, only to immediately have another one waiting for him poor baby

Mina

Mains: Klee or Xiangling

thinks baizhu is hot (and is correct) so shes desperately waiting for him

was a I must play 24/7 player until after the last story quest, then she got kinda bored but still plays frequently so she can save primogems and likes playing co op

goes into random peoples worlds a lot

shes got some pretty strong characters and is proud of her account

definitely makes tiktoks of her playing with the bakusquad cause it's always v chaotic (it's probably only denki and kirishima most of the time, but sometimes either bakugou or sero will join in)

does all the genshin tiktok trends

shes a pretty high level since shes probably been playing for a while and has most everything done

she loves helping lower level people though she thinks it's so cute and loves the power she feels when she one shots things

Sero

Mains: Xingqui

hes a pretty casual player, kinda only plays when hes bored or the others make him play with them

but his stats arent too bad, they're fairly average but he gets by

has so many primogems because he doesnt bother to wish on anyone, probably wants kazuha though

he does get super invested into the story though, hes so curious about the world and where the story is gonna lead

probably watches a lot of genshin theory videos and now he over thinks everything in the game

he explores a lot, not so much to find every single thing but more so just because he likes looking at everything, hes very excited for all the new places

Shinsou

Mains: Childe

hes a very thorough player, he explores a lot and puts a lot of work into building his characters

most of them arent all that great but he has plans to fix them

his main team is very well built, not the best, but still good

he struggles when he has to switch someone out for a domain or something because his other characters are so painfully mediocre right now and he feels so bad

shinsou, playing a character that can do like max 200 physical damage and biggest damage is like 2 thousand, repeatedly saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you deserve so much better, I'm so sorry

even if it's not the worst damage by far, he feels bad about anything under his main team's stats because they're just so much higher

broke. has no primogems. spent them all on childe and his constellations. does he regret it? well he sure does appreciate his c6 so- hell manage

yes he spent real money on his stupid mass murderer who he loves very much

fights childe every day even though he already collected the treasure, he is but a humble simp

probably decently lucky with wishing like he can beat the 50/50 almost every time

Tamaki

Mains: Chongyun and Sucrose

he only started playing recently, probably kirishima got him into it, but he immediately fell in love

kirishima was like tell me when you're level 16 so we can play together !!! and 2 days later tamaki was level 16 and kiri was shook because how the hell did he do it so fast

hates domains, the dread he feels when he realizes the lower level isnt going to give him anything anymore, and he has to move up to the next, and the next,,

asks kirishima to help him only to realize he isnt much help, is too nice to say that so he let's kiri keep trying- one day kiri gets deku to play with the two of them and tamaki almost cries because finally he can get through the level 90 domain and actually get things ugh

cannot get xingqui to save his life he refuses to come home and poor tamaki is so sad he wants him a lot hes even got all his materials saved up

Monoma

Mains: Ningguang

honestly doesnt play all that much but takes pride in making his account seem v good, is a whale

but hes very good at the game, didnt know what the artifacts were for at first and gave people ones based on how they looked but once he figured it out hes fixed them

is a very standard player, logs in every day to do his commissions and use his resin then logs out, he doesnt put too much time into the game and doesnt worry if he misses a day or two

worships ningguang, also really likes xinyan, his other team members are probably venti and albedo

has every single banner 5 star that has come out since he started playing, probably doesnt have klee though and is v upset about it, and is thanking the heavens for all the reruns lately

also doesnt have keqing and wants her a lot cause he likes her

accepts every single co op request he gets, and despite what a lot may think hes actually a very nice person to play with, not toxic at all - unless you're someone he knows then he might be mean to you shshshsh

Shigaraki

Mains: Razor

haha isnt it so odd that they sound so similar haha (if you dont know they have the same japanese va and I'm guessing hed play it in Japanese)

obviously he can be kinda busy ya know being a criminal and all that but when hes not he puts a lot of time into genshin

sadly doesnt have very good luck when it comes to characters or artifacts, but hes doing his best even with 0 primogems and his 50% crit rate

doesnt explore all that much, most of the exploring hes done came from him trying to get all the oculus

his razor is so good though, except that's the only character hes put tons of effort into

except for now zhongli, hes not replacing razor but ugh does he love zhongli

but his other characters are pretty mediocre at best, he could build them if he wanted to, hes good enough at gaming to figure it out, he just doesnt have the time to spend to do it so he focuses on his main team

also (spoiler alert kinda) when we had to go to the wolf spirit to fight the abyss herald and razor was there, afterwards how razor was saying how he was too weak and stuff and was super sad, at that very moment shiggy decided the entire abyss order had to be destroyed - sorry aether (he chose lumine) but razor is more important than you

[ceabu]

So.....just finished reading homestuck epilogue (candy)....I just...I don't know how I should feel...I absolutely love gamzee. But that Gamzee I hate the most. I hate Jane and I'm surprised that Gamzee is with her cause in some parts he does make some good points about her being a bitch. I sometimes wonder why doesn't he just leave??? And I hate Vriska and all but what he fucking did was absolutely fucking disgusting, he's like in his 30's and she is like I think 15?? Gamzee is just fucking gross in this. I actually never wanted him to die so badly in my life! I just wanted to rant

why would u read this shit in the first place anon!?!?! aosidfhao;sdhgadsg

i cant think of a worst way to waste ur time than to read that bullshit epilogue

i only read a little bit ( after dirk committed unalive ) that was it for me lol couldnt fucking continue it. and im glad i didnt lol cuz i was so sure that things will get better somehow?? ‘’certainly they worked hard for these 2 epilogues!! everything will turn out good in the end!!’‘ <--dumb naive past ceabu still had faith in homestuck back then

i dont know candy!gamzee and i dont wanna think about him. he is not canon. its just some random character LIKE CHANGE HIS NAME TO WHATEVER SHIT U WANT AND DONE. THATS NOT GAMZEE ANYMORE. and he never was in the first place. i dont look at the epilogues and think ah yes the true canon epilogues because thats not what they are

they are just some stupid stories made to antagonize the fans of a loved webcomic so they ( people working on it ) can get ( bad?? upset?? ) attention.

reading meat and a little bit of candy made me genuinely sick to my stomach. i cried and felt so so upset lmao i felt so many negative emotions for a thing i was so excited about ( it was my first up8 ) LOL

i do not give a shit about vriska and i never will. why is she 15 and gamzee 30??? wtf is up with that? actually no dont tell me i dont care

those are not the same characters i read about. homestuck2 can burn in hell for everything theyve done to their characters and fans. my respect for anything regarding homestuck faded a long time ago. i place my faith and love and attention on the fanworks. people who love the characters and give them proper care they deserve.

( sorry about this but yo girl is gonna go wild for a hot second )

NO BUT REALLY LMFAOO HOMESTUCK2??? EPILOGUES??? CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK LMAOOOO HOW DO U LOOK AT THIS STORY AND THINK UKNOW WHAT. IMMA MAKE IT WORSE

IS THERE SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKED THE EPILOGUES??????? IF THERE IS IDK WHAT TO TELL U MAN LOL GTF AWAY FROM ME

DIRK

JANE

GAMZEE

JADE

ROSE

KANAYA

WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO THEMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????? DID WE READ THE SAME COMIC????????

ITS LIKE THEY TOOK A RANDOM GUY OFF THE STREET N WERE LIKE ‘‘WE’LL GIVE U 20 DOLLARS IF U LET US TELL U IN SHORT ABOUT THIS WEBCOMIC AND THEN U GET TO CONTINUE IT’‘ AND THE GUY WAS LIKE ‘‘UH SURE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO’‘ AND HE FUCKING WENT HAM BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW THE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO ANGRY AT THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID LOL!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE EPILOGUES AND BEYOND CANON THOSE ARE BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! DISGUSTING WORTHLESS STORIES THAT MEAN NOTHING!!!!!! WASTE OF EVERYONES TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! UKNOW WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD OF READING THOSE GOD AWFUL STORIES?? LITERAL ANYTHING LMAO ANYTHING I WOULD HAVE DONE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN READING THAT FUCKING ATROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK U MEAN ROSE CHEATED ON KANAYA WITH JADE AND HAD A BABY NAMED SOMETHING DISGUSTING??????????/

WHAT DO U MEAN DIRK IS A IDIOT VILLAN THAT HAS TEREZI N ROSEBOT THAT HAVE A THING(???)

VRISSY?????????????/

HOW ABOUT!!!!!!!!! U MAKE A WHOLE COMIC ABOUT U!!!!!! SUCKING ON VRISKAS TOES LIKE THE DISGUSTING MAN U ARE INSTEAD OF FUCKING GAMZEE LMAOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAA;OIHSDGOIHDSGNOISAHDGOASIDHG;ASIDGNVDPAIGHNADS;GIOHNDSAGV;OIASHD

ADIGNAPGIH I AM BEYOND ANGRY RIGHT NOW LMAOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK U HUSSIE FOR RUINING THE OKAYISH ENDING U MADE HOMESTUCK HAVE

WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR THIS SHIT TO BE GOOD AND U RUINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[badboyburger]

things i wish i could tell my friends so theyll understand me better:

ive been depressed for the better part of my life. since i was maybe 13 or so. okay thatsnot actually the better part of my life, im only 19, but it still feels like an eternity. i started self harming back then. stopped sometime, maybe when i was 17 or so. things were looking up. still not great, but i wasnt suicidal all the time.

ive been declining for almost a year now. started self harming again last spring. anxiety is through the roof. i cant relax anymore, im so fucking scared of losing the people i love. and by that i mean jello, obviously, but also elec, john, master, all the people who are making my life just slightly less miserable. when im hanging out with them im not thinking of killing myself constantly.

of course, as soon as the call ends i immediately sink into the void again, but while im talking to them i just... feel good. i like them. i really like them. joining rbrn was the best thing i could have done. but fuck, now i have people to lose again. one wrong move, one wrong sentence. what if they dont like me anymore? did they ever even like me in the first place?

do they actually respect me or are they just humouring me? elec called me she today. i know it was an accident, hes always quick to defend me. i fucking hate my voice. hearing him say it hurt so much. i felt safe, until i didnt. i hate my voice.

people who dont know anything about depression think it means youre just sad all the time. i fucking wish. i wish i was sad. numbness is the worst experience in the world, and i feel it every day of my godforsaken life. just pure emptiness. utter disinterest and indifference to everything and everyone. i dont even feel like a person anymore. i feel like a ghost.

there are three things that get me to actually feel things: my boyfriend, my friends (aka rbrn), and self harm. ive moved on from cutting. last time i did it was a couple weeks ago. holding lighters to my skin until i cant take it anymore is also fun. the one i got myself after the drunk ops is slowly starting to fade. 3 weeks is a pretty good time for a burn that bad.

my favourite form of self harm is drugs, of course. why fuck up my outsides if i can obliterate my insides and have fun while doing so? weed and alcohol arent even the worst. i got myself a fun little speed addiction. i wake up with a nosebleed every day. sounds fun, doesnt it? nothing makes me feel so alive, its incredible. theres nothing i love more, and yet i hate it with all my heart. make it stop. i dont want to be high anymore.

just let the thought of me die. torturing myself by listening to the song that was playing while my boyfriend was telling me that he wants to kill himself.

why is it so much fun to destroy yourself? im already so fucking broken, its nice to take matters into my own hands for a change. if anyone gets to ruin me, its gonna be me. at least then ill have control over something.

im better off dead