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starsurface · 4 months

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[stimming anon] okay, can I ask for Nightwolf, Fujin, and MK1 Liu Kang (if you don't do multiple characters then just Wolfie is alright) with a pre-teen regressor? Like tapping on a hard surface, rocking back & forth, fidgeting with something, or picking at their lips. at least this is some of the stimming that i personally do-

I will admit I did add a few things like sensory issues and similar things to make the lists longer, but it does mostly focus on stimming and middlespace regressing!! (Mostly stimming though)

If I screwed up or should change anything, do let me know and I'll make sure to fix any mistakes I've made!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Nightwolf w/ Middlespace Regressor that stims

🐺 Nightwolf is very good with middlespace regressors

🐺 And he's very good with people who stim

🐺 If your stimming because of a stressful or irritating situation, his new mission is to make whatevers upsetting you go away

🐺 If it's because of someone, he politely (and sternly) tell them to knock it off, especially if the person knows they're making you do it negatively

🐺 If it's for positive reasons, he's highly encouraging of it!!!

🐺 He just kinda smiles and listens attentively when you stim, never judging or questioning your behavior

🐺 Encourages you to do it in public, and his glare alone won't let anyone look at you funny or say anything mean

🐺 Some members of his family stim, and he's very upset if someone were to make fun of you for it

🐺 If you feel embarrassed or ashamed or guilty, he tries to explain that it's okay to express yourself, and you shouldn't let other people control your decisions

🐺 Is very patient if your stimming makes certain tasks difficult or take longer

🐺 And flat our refuses to let you apologize because you really have no reason to, Little One

🐺 ^ If you say your too young for that nickname, he'll jokingly call you Baby Bear instead and laugh when you become even poutier

🐺 Although he'll mainly treat you your age range, he's pretty good with making you feel 13 again

🐺 . . . Baby names might stick though. >:/ (although will probably use more bigger ones and not ones with baby, unless it's requested)

🐺 If you'd like, he'd let you sit you on his lap and rock with you if your okay with it

🐺 If any of your stims have to do with textures, he'll get you the softest furs he can get

🐺 Always has at least something for you to fidget with, might start carrying something on his belt so its always on him

🐺 Will try to offer you gum or a chew necklace if your lip biting draws blood, but its a race occurrence and he's just trying to help

🐺 I know it's not stimming, but if you have any sensory issues and want to do makeup but it's too much for you, he'll look into different options so you can live your emo dream

🐺 Your too little to touch his ax, don't try it (you'll receive his mighty glare and dissimponted tone and honestly, you might start crying)

🐺 ^ Will apologize for making you cry, his intentions were to keep you safe, not to make you feel bad or naughty

🐺 If there are any certain triggers that will make you become upset enough to negatively stim, he'll make sure to keep you away from them

🐺 Even if this makes him a ‘bad guy’ at times, his mission is to keep you happy and safe

🐺 Any positive things to make you stim? He'll deliberately search for!!

🐺 Your favorite song? Might not be his music taste (maybe), but he'll smile over the way you gasp and begin to tap the table or the car door and sing along (he'll sing too, his voice is beautiful)

🐺 Certain comfort or go to foods? Either always has them stocked and will give them to you after a bad day, or go out and get it because he knows you need something rn.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Fujin w/ Middlespace Regressor that stims

☁️ Fujin loves middle regressors, but does have a small habit of treating you like your six

☁️ Like, come on Fujin, we're not five, we're 12 😒

☁️ Just make sure to remind him that your older than that, and he's quick to apoligize and change his actions

☁️ Is a bit concerned that you'll make your lip bleed by accident and will try to persuade you on something else to chew or pick on (but if your dead set on sticking to your lip, he'll let you, but make sure your lips aren't hurt or bad)

☁️ Didn't know a bunch about stimming, he's seen it a few times from when he was with the mortals, but quickly understood the concept of it

☁️ If you have any favorite textures Fujin will get most of any gifts he buys you in them so you'll actually enjoy wearing them and it doesn't feel like sandpaper on your skin (personal hc, I hate the feeling)

☁️ He gets very happy when he can get you into a conversation, and your rocking, and tapping the table because he knows it shows how you trust and love him :3

☁️ Gets worried if your hard surface is something like concrete but tries not to be too concern (will buy ointment for your knuckles just in case though)

☁️ Will ask what counts as stimming, since he understands but is still curious about some things

☁️ Let's you hold his sword if your interested in it but will snatch it when he thinks you're going to accidently cut yourself (and might have given you an injury by accident, apologizes with kisses, band aids, and cuddles)

☁️ If someone says something to you, they better grab onto a sturdy object because oh dang, that's a harsh almost dangerous wind only going in their direction, how weird?

☁️ Will buy you candy or something after the incident and claim that they know no knowledge and his brother cleary didn't give them a brain

☁️ Will inform the monks about it and puts the very few who judge in their places then and there

☁️ If he can find out what makes you happily stim or excitedly stim, he'll try his hardest to make sure it's around often

☁️ Will also try to get you out of a bas situation but honestly might jt just teleport you two outside so you can relax with the flowers

☁️ If outside feels like it's worsening it, he'll bring you to his room so you can cuddle and calm down <3

☁️ And secretly plot his revenge (again-)

☁️ No one messes with his baby- Uh, big kid >:(

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Lord Liu Kang w/ Middlespace Regressor that stims

🌟 Good with middlespace regressors, but doesn't take sass

🌟 Unless it's like, teasing sass, he can see a joke

🌟 You will get a thirty minute soft lecture that it'd not cool to sass people and be mean with your tone

🌟 If you don't realize your tone sometimes when talking though (I don't sometimes) he will take it into consideration

🌟 Has meet thousands of peo0pe who've stimmed before and is highly encouraging with yours

🌟 You want a cool place to sit down and rock? His meditation room is open, just please don't make a mess

🌟 ^ Usually he's big on you meditating with him, but if you need to move or fidget or do SOMETHING, he'll let you slide every time

🌟 (^ The monks can't call you out because you have God's favorite privileges >:3)

🌟 You need something to fidget with? Well he might have nothing on hand right now, but he'll scurry around to find something!!

🌟 Will buy you one of those fidget cubes but then also buys himself one because he found it really interesting (mortal technology man, it keeps advancing faster than he can catch up)

🌟 Your lips are chap and pealing too much when your biting or picking at them? He'll carry around chap stick so your not accidently hurting yourself

🌟 Will rock with you if you'd like, and enjoys sitting next to you peacefully (even if he isn't moving)

🌟 Honestly, no one will call you out for anything because of Liu Kang's presence alone

🌟 Mostly because no one wants to see a God's anger

🌟 But if you tell him someone made fun of you, he'll give you a soft smile ans tell you that nothings wrong with you. You just need to express your emotions differently than others and that's okay

🌟 And uh, the person will shakingly come apologize to you, Liu Kang smiling behind him before asking if you'd like a treat of some kind

🌟 If your too afraid to stim out in public, he'll try doing everything in his power to help you feel less vulnerable

🌟 You want a more secluded spot? You already got it. You want him to rock with you? He'll sway slightly, he doesn't mind

🌟 You are his little pride and joy and if you aren't happy and comfy, there's a massive problem in his eyes

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Y'all, yesterday watermelon juice got into my phone and we had to drain it out of my speakers and since the case got ruined we had to take it off and it dropped and my screen is CRACKED. :( (it'll be okay, it still works <3)

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nihilnat · 2 years

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Your favorite song

[chapter one] [chapter two] [chapter three] [chapter four]

Summary: When Vecna’s curse affects you, someone who doesn’t consider himself as a hero outside of D&D comes to save you with his amazing guitar skills, playing your favorite song to save you from it.

Author’s Note: Heavily follows the plot and contains spoilers! If you haven’t watched S4 I wouldn’t recommend reading this fic. Maybe you could save it for later? This chapter is mostly the reader spending alone time with Eddie. Also the summary is for the entire series, not only for this chapter. Please read the first chapter before reading this one! And if any of you are wondering how long this series is going to be, I unfortunately don't have an answer to that right now. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 3.7k

What to Expect: Eddie Munson x reader, Reader doesn’t believe in supernatural things before she does, Detailed story telling about reader’s trauma and a nightmare that is connected to it, Eddie comforting and taking care of the reader, Really sweet moments with Eddie and more. Oh and also the usage of the nickname 'Sweetheart'.

Spoilers below cut, you have been warned!

After Dustin ran away, he came back just as fast and said, ‘Okay as fun as it was, we have no time to lose.' and continued,

'So about Hawkins being haunted; What I’m about to tell you can be a little difficult to understand…’ He said and told you all about the 'Upside Down' and the demogorgons, a little girl with superpowers etc. It was difficult to understand, like he said. You never believed in supernatural things before.

Eddie was handling it better because he experienced one of those supernatural-murder things first hand. Though he was still confused about the monsters since he didn't saw any involved in Chrissy's murder. Not that he could see any, at least.

After Dustin and the others finished explaining what was going on, Robin lastly said 'Look Eddie, (Y/N), I know they sound delusional right now but trust me, they've experienced it before. More than once actually. Like, a LOT.' She was speaking faster now, the way she did whenever she was talking more than she should have. 'I've experienced it before too. Theirs was more smokey, dust related and mine was more in a human-flesh typa thing but... yeah.' She stopped talking with a small smile on her face, understanding that she had to shut up from the way Steve looked at her.

****

You and Eddie asked some questions that you wanted to ask about this strange parallel world. After your little Q&A session ended, you started to brainstorm about Chrissy's murder. From what they have told to the both of you, some dots finally started to align in your head but you guys were nowhere near to solving this case.

After a few minutes, Eddie and Dustin started to talk about D&D. They were talking about a character named Vecna and its curse. Turns out Vecna was a strong character who did curses on the D&D players' characters and 'It' was famously known by all the players. All of you except Dustin and Eddie were confused about why they were talking about the game right now.

But the more they talked about it, the more similarities there were between Vecna and whatever invisible creature you were facing at that moment. So, they decided to name the invisible murderer after that game character, Vecna.

When the talking came to an end, everyone was tired from all the adventure that they had today and it was getting late. Eddie and you were still talking about the news that you have just learned. The rest of the group on the other hand, started to grab their belongings. They were ready to go home and get a good night's rest. When all the others gathered around the door, ready to walk out, Steve said 'Hey (Y/N), you're not coming?'

Ever since you lost your parents, you didn't want to go back to your house. It didn't feel like home anymore and it brought you nothing but sadness. After that mall fire, you spent the night at your friends' houses. The ones who allowed you to stay at their place changed from time to time since you couldn't have crashed at their place for too long; It wouldn't have been appropriate. You knew you had to go back home and face the truth but you didn't feel ready yet.

'I can't go back to Ashley's house again, I've been staying over at her place for 3 days already and I haven't had a chance to talk with anybody else. Can I stay with one of you guys tonight?' You asked, feeling a little ashamed.

Without leaving others a chance to talk, Eddie asked:

'Why don't you stay with me tonight? I know it won't be the comfiest night of your life but I don't wanna stay here alone with my own thoughts.'

You turned to him and calculated your option. Staying the night with Eddie actually didn't sound like a bad idea. Sure, he was a wanted man and there was no bed in the shack so it was going to be uncomfortable. But you were going to be alone with him, it was a perfect chance to get to know him better. So you said, 'That's a great idea, I'll stay with you.'

The others were surprised at how fast you were going but they were also really happy. You had this crush for months now and you two were finally spending time together. And him having an interest in you too was a cherry on top.

They were a little worried about you staying in the shack though; Jason could've find both of you and you could've gotten into trouble too because of Eddie. Although they were worried, they respected your choice and promised to bring you guys some food for tomorrow. Then, they left.

Once they got into the car and disappeared into the forest, you started to look around. There was nothing but boat related stuff in the shack, obviously. But you were looking for a little pillow or an extra blanket. Once you understood that there were none, you turned to Eddie. He was watching you all this time, with an amused expression on his face.

'What are you doing?' He asked.

'Looking for something ...comfy to sleep on.'

'In this shack? Good luck finding it, sweetheart.'

That nickname he just called you made you blush. You didn't want to give in so easily but it was hard. You turned to him, trying to look annoyed. 'There's gotta be something we can do. What about we take some pillows from Reefer Rick's place?'

****

After you sneakily took two pillows and a big blanket, you went back to the shack. You two were like ghosts, you didn't make a single sound while going in and out. After you came back to your hiding place, Eddie turned to you and said,

'Okay so tell me about yourself.'

'What do you wanna know?'

'Hmm... like how was little (Y/N) in middle school?'

You chuckled at his question, wondering why he asked this out of all the others he could've asked. It was a sweet and caring question though, so you liked it. As you started to think about all the memories, it felt like such a long time ago. And it was actually. But you didn't want to grow up. You didn't want time to pass quickly. Especially right now.

After you told him all of your stories, the good and the bad ones, it was his turn. He told you about how his head was buzzed and he was in a band group. Then, he told you about the talent show that they took a part in. Talent shows have never been your thing so you couldn't remember that day. He helped you remember it by giving you a little theatrical show. He told you about the magician guy with the bunny, mimicking to get the bunny out of the black magician hat.

Eddie was so good at acting and he absolutely knew how to lighten up the room with his charm and funny sense of humour. You were cracking up while he was giving you a show, even he was laughing at himself for being this silly. You were having an amazing time. Then he continued with a talented girl who painted a little amazing canvas and the cheerleader team. He did a little move, copying the moves they made during their performances. Then he remembered Chrissy.

His playfulness was now replaced with an emotionless expression. He was looking at a distant view, deep in thoughts. You immediately went next to him, looking at the same direction. You were standing side by side now, looking at the sky which was full of stars.

'Look Eddie, It's not your fault. None of it is your fault.' You said, placing a hand on his back, occasionally moving it up and down to reassure him. Eddie didn't want to look you in the eyes. 'Maybe I could've done something to prevent it...'

'No don't do this to yourself, please.' You forced him to turn to you, to look at you straight in the eye. 'You couldn't have known what was right, we still don't know what 'Vecna' truly is and what it wanted from her... You could've gotten yourself killed, Eddie.' You said, feeling the tears beginning to form in your eyes.

'Hey hey hey, no I'm right here. C'mon now c'mere.' He said, almost in a whispering tone while opening his arms widely for you to hug him. You closed the distance between the two of you, waiting for a moment for him to pull you in closer. After his hands found its way down to your waist, he wrapped his arms around you and you laid your head on his chest. The feeling of his arms around you, squeezing your body lightly made you feel safe. It was a really beautiful and comforting feeling you have never experienced before, not like this.

You stayed like that for a while until Eddie broke the silence by saying 'As much as I'd like to spend the whole night cuddling like this, we better get some sleep. You never know what tomorrow holds for us.'

****

Before going to sleep, you and Eddie had trouble figuring out where you should sleep. Since you two only found one blanket, it wasn't going to be easy. But you also had another problem. Like what if someone came to the shack looking for Eddie in the middle of the night? You sleeping on the ground wouldn't have caused any problems since people didn't know that you two were close. Also sleeping on the floor would've been more comfortable than sleeping in a small boat.

And also neither of you wanted to take things faster than it should've been. You had so much time ahead of you, right? So, Eddie was going to sleep in the boat, the boat cover was going to be on top of it just to be safe and you were going to sleep on the floor. He gave you the blanket and helped you form your little 'bed'. After that, you laid down and he kneeled beside you, placing a small kiss to your forehead.

'Goodnight sweetheart.'

'I love that nickname.' you chuckled, feeling the burn in your cheeks and the butterflies in your stomach.

'Goodnight Eddie.'

****

Some hours went by while the two of you slept peacefully.

Then, in your dream, you saw your parents. They were waving at you, calling your name. They looked so happy and …alive. You thought that it was real. That you were there, with them. As the time went by, you understood that it was a memory. A memory from your middle school times actually. It was the first day of middle school, you were so excited to go back there and hang out with your friends. You have spent an amazing vacation and you wanted to share it with them.

It was a beautiful sunny day, the sun was shining brightly in the sky. You were getting ready as your mother called you from the living room saying ‘(Y/N), come on honey you wouldn’t want to be late to your first day of school, right?’ You said: ‘I’m coming mom!’ and rushed outside, with your backpack on your hand. Your mother helped you get into the car and your father started the engine. It was nice to have them drop you off at school. You felt safe with them.

After a short amount of time, your father parked the car in front of your school and all of you got out. You were so excited, ready to go to your new class. You grabbed your backpack and your mother helped you to put it on. When you were all set, you started to walk towards the main door of your school. You were halfway there when your parents shouted at you, calling your name saying ‘Have a nice day at school (Y/N), we love you so much baby!’ You turned to them and saw that they were waving hands, looking happier than ever. You returned the smile and waved at them before going in.

And your vision started to blur, your sight becoming worse. You couldn’t see anything because of the smoke that was covering your vision. You started to understand where you were: in the mall, during the goddamn fire. There was smoke everywhere and all you could hear was the sirens of the ambulance and the fire engine. You were searching for your parents, trying to look everywhere but it was impossible. It was getting harder to breathe and you thought like you were being strangled. After a few seconds, you saw a fireman running towards you. He looked so worried and he yelled ‘I’m here okay? I’m going to get you out of here as soon as possible!’ You were a little relieved but you were still worried about your parents. Although you were struggling to get oxygen, you were shouting: ‘MOM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU?’ You kept repeating to shout until you felt like your lungs were burning…

‘Mom, Dad…’ you were murmuring in your sleep. It was obvious that you were seeing a nightmare. Eddie started to hear your voice as it kept getting louder and louder. He immediately jumped out of the boat and ran next to you. In the process, he accidentally hit his foot on something, something rigid. He couldn’t see what it was because there was no light. He cussed to himself, saying ‘Shit shit shit.’ But thanks to that little accident, he was now fully awake.

After he sat down next to you, he saw that you were shaking. You were sleeping in a place where a ray of the moonlight hit you, illuminating your face. There were little beads of sweat on your forehead and you were squinting your eyes, hard. He was in a shock but he knew he had to hurry. So, he grabbed your shoulders and started to shake you slowly. He didn’t want to make a wrong move, that's why he was acting carefully. As the time went by, your voice kept getting louder. ‘MOM, DAD!? WHERE ARE YOU!’ He started to shake you firmly now. ‘(Y/N), Wake up! Wake up (Y/N), wake uup!’

And then, you woke up. For the first few seconds, you started to look around the room, trying to figure out where you were. You were still shaking a little, eyes wide open and mouth agape. Eddie was still holding your shoulders, trying to ground you. You were close to a wall so he grabbed your pillow and put you in a fowler’s position. When your eyes finally met, you felt relieved.

He was talking to you in a soft tone, almost whispering: ‘It’s over now (Y/N). You’re here, I’m here. You’re safe with me.’ And urged you to come closer to him. Once again you closed the distance between the two of you, hugging him tightly as if holding him loosely was going to result in him fading away. His long, untamed hair was on your forehead, mixing with your sweaty hair. You wanted to stay there, like this, in his arms for as long as you can. You thought that he was going to back away to give you a little space but he didn’t. He held you in his arms and you nuzzled up against him.

When you finally came to your senses, you started to talk slowly, your bottom lip trembling: ‘I saw this nightmare before. It literally haunts me and I can’t escape it.’ You were now sitting in front of each other, looking at each other’s eyes. He gave you an understanding look, his eyes observing your face.

‘You were screaming ‘Mom and dad’ repeatedly, I don’t wanna cross a line but would you like to tell me what happened?’

‘If you want to, tho. No pressure.’ He said, trying to look nonchalant in case you didn’t want to talk about it.

‘No, it’s fine. I will tell you about it.’ you said and told him all about that day. When you finished telling the story, you also added ‘I’ve been having these ongoing headaches recently and occasionally I’ve been seeing the same nightmare. But I don’t remember experiencing it this badly before.’ You lowered your gaze, you were now looking at the blanket. Your hands were on top of it and without realizing, you started to play with your hands like you did whenever you got anxious.

‘I’m sorry (Y/N)...’ He said, frowning.

You quickly added: ‘That’s why I’ve been staying at my friends’ house for some time now. Going back home makes me aware of the reality we live in -as if I ever get a chance to forget- and rubs the harsh reality in my face.’

‘I understand.’ He said, unable to form any convenient phrases. Instead of turning this into a therapy session, he abruptly said: ‘Well, I am not going into that small boat again! I’m going to sleep here, next to you.’ He was never good at comforting someone or talking about feelings. His coping mechanism was to use sarcasm and that pretty much explained everything. No one really expected anything from him when it came to reassuring someone with the help of using words. He tried to keep things light hearted and as playful as possible, trying to distract the person from their own dark thoughts.

‘But what if they see you from the window?’

‘Let them, I don’t care. You need me right now’

‘Aand I refuse to go back to that boat, folding in half just to fit my ass into that small space.’

And when he saw that you were smiling again, he felt warm inside. Seeing you all miserable when you were having that nightmare was one of the worst things he had to experience but it was now all in the past.

He immediately stood up and went to get his pillow, running funnily just to make you laugh. And it was working, you were laughing. All the sadness in the air slowly disappeared and both of you were grateful for that. After he got his pillow, he quickly returned to your side and you scooted over to give him some space under the blanket. For a second you two remained still, not quite sure what to do with your hands and all of that.

‘Uh, this is kinda awkward isn’t it?’ Eddie said. ‘Like, what are we supposed to do now?’

‘Well, we could cuddle if you’d like..’

‘Ah yeah sure.’ he said quickly, in an awkward-Eddie way and turned to your side. You two found the most comfortable position to cuddle and after a few seconds, he started to play with your hair, running his hands through it as you both slowly drifted off to sleep.

****

When the morning finally came, you felt the warmth of a ray of sunshine on your face. You slowly opened your eyes and saw Eddie sleeping right next to you, having a peaceful little smile on his face. As you were yawning and getting ready to say good morning to him, you heard the door of the shack opening loudly.

You immediately freaked out and saw some figures standing on the doorway. You were ready to wake up Eddie when you saw a figure approaching inside. Turns out it was Steve. He yelled ‘FOOD DELIVERY’. At that moment Eddie literally jumped on the floor and instantly tried to cover himself with the blanket, not making any noise. After his drowsiness went away, he understood that it was Steve who was yelling like crazy on a peaceful morning. ‘Ah, what beautiful a way to wake up!’ Eddie exclaimed, his voice filled with annoyance. It was probably the crack of dawn, he thought to himself.

‘Hey! Morning sleepyheads.’ said Max while getting inside, holding a paper bag full of snacks. ‘Heyy..’ you said, still having that raspy morning voice. ‘You guys know what time it is?’

‘It’s 13.46.’ Dustin stated, checking his watch. Eddie and you were both shocked. You guys said ‘What?!’ at the same moment, earning a laugh from the others. ‘Guess you got a good night’s sleep guys’ said Robin, unaware of all the shit you went through in the middle of the night last night. You managed to say ‘Yeaah, right..’

****

After you two had a breakfast -which was dry cereal- ; Robin shared the news. She said that the police were definitely looking for Eddie and that there has been another murder just like Chrissy’s. They said the murdered guy’s name was Fred Benson and that he used to be a member of the school’s newspaper team. ‘What does Vecna want from highschoolers?’ You asked genuinely. None of you seemed to have an answer to that but it was obvious that there was a connection. One that you couldn’t figure out for now.

And Dustin said, ‘That’s what we’re gonna find out.’ confidently.

****

Thank you so much for reading chapter two of the series!

If you like this part, let me know by liking, reblogging or even leaving a comment. All of it and feedbacks are appreciated. Also if you want to be added in the taglist, let me know!

Stay in tune for the next chapter <3

taglist:

@theold-ultraviolence

#eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic #stranger things s4 #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #joseph quinn #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #max mayfield #yourfavoritesongseries #writings

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ravenbloodshot · 25 days

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Yuzuru Hanyu (Figure Skater)- Mini Personality + Divorce Reading

Personality

I heard the word "fraud." I was already getting vibes that he may be a compulsive liar or the type to manipulate the truth. He may also make himself seem a certain away. The thing is, I'm not picking up a reason for why he lies. So it could be that he finds it easier to lie/passive others than he does being direct and potentially coming off as aggressive to ppl.

I don't know if he has some type of coach/mentor (its likely he does), this prominent person has been someone who's advised and guided Yuzuru through the most difficult aspects of his athletic career. Yuzuru may hold a lot of respect for this person as well. He listens to this person and accepts their guidance. He's someone that receives information really well (idk how to explain this but, I'm a boxing fan and I've been particularly watching Claressa Shields boxing matches, I remember her coach and even her fans saying what made her such a great boxer was her ability to take critique well and actually listen, then follow what was said to her. To give more context to my point, during one of her matches, her coach would yell out things to her like, "Keep your head up, Claressa, make sure to step back some." And she would literally follow the coach's exact words even adding a bit of her own jazz to it.) This is the energy Yuzuru gives me, an athlete that listens well to his coaching. May have something to do with the Japanese social/age hierarchy culture, in which people have to show a deeper respect to those older/more experienced.

He may have a fear of losing his wealth, understandably so, since I believe he has retired and now will have to live off of the money he's made over his athletic career. But this fear of his may cause him to not make smart financial choices. Like, instead of investing his money and trying to go through other avenues of gaining and ultimately maintaining his wealth, he may just start being more frugal. (Idk if he supports his family but I'm getting a vibe of him taking away gifts, for an example if he bought his mom a lavish car, he may have taken it back and gotten a cheaper one).

I feel like he has a weird mentality when it comes to fixing issues. It's like he has a traditional mindset of "This way of handling this issue didn't work, so I'm gonna just go back to doing it the way I used to." I don't think he's very smart, if I'm being honest. He's probably better at doing what he's told than to actually think for himself

Divorce

Well, this is simple. Whomever he married was too insecure and controlling. The type to put a tracker on his phone and still demand that he tells her his location.

Like I alluded above, Yuzuru is more passive and honestly not that smart. So he could have put up with a lot of her demands and shenanigans, may have even thought the behavior was cute during the dating stage until it wasn't.

Yuzuru's fans could have had a part to play in why it ended. Harrassing the couple and just made life hard for both of them, especially her. Not saying Yuzuru can control his fans, but I'm getting a vibe that he didn't exactly try to control them either. He kind of just let shit happen. Even when they were shit talking her online or sending hate her way, he never stepped in.

But overall, he married someone who wanted to be more of a dictator than a partner, someone who was not mentally stable.

La La La by Naughty Boy is a song that fits this reading's energy

#japanese tarot #yuzuru hanyu #spotify #yuzuru hanyu tarot #yuzuru

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beautifulpersonpeach · 8 months

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Maybe you've already said what you think but I haven't scrolled back a lot on your blog so forgive me if it's something you already talked about. You think the company submitted LC, or that no submission was needed, for VMA and EMA rigth? Then how come a song with its achievements in Europe wasn't considered but songs and artists with virtually no achievements in Europe did? It is not explainable, I'm sorry. And of course Hybe was going to submit everyone for Grammy, because the submission are public knowledge and it would have actually caused an uproar if they submitted only some. It's not about siding with solos or their "agenda" but once again it is weird and suspicious, just like the unreported sales, the sudden splitting of LC versions when even 3D with and without Jack are combined, so two different songs.

So yeah, I find it weird, and I don't want to think this way but the reasons armys give to this mishaps are always putting blame on jm himself, like he doesn't want his work to be recognised or something.. I hope you can make me look at this in another light, if you want..

***

I published this on my blog 2 days ago. I suggest you read it. This one too, and this one, and this one too while you're at it. Or idk, try to talking to an ARMY that's been here for a while. Anyway I highly doubt you'll read all linked posts so I'll paste a section I've written earlier for you here too in response to parts of your ask.

"Then how come a song with its achievements in Europe wasn't considered but songs and artists with virtually no achievements in Europe did? It is not explainable, I'm sorry."

"BigHit submitted BTS’s work for 2017 MTV EMAs and they were snubbed for nominations. Groups like Mamamoo and Gfriend were nominated instead, and no group had a bigger performance in 2017 than BTS. The same can be said for when BigHit submitted BTS’s work in 2018 and 2019 and both times were snubbed for the Grammys and some academy voters flat out said they didn’t think BTS got those accolades and chart performances legitimately."

The bolded part is done for emphasis. It might not be explainable Anon, but it's not without precedent. The point is the lack of nominations does not mean a lack of submissions, and BTS have been snubbed before by that particular award-giver (EMAs). There's a whole host of possible explanations for why these things happen because newsflash, as much as akgaes like to think the company (in this case HYBE) is the boogeyman responsible for everything bad that happens to their fave, there's a pretty big world outside that is filled with players other than HYBE. These award shows are third-party industry players that still operate independently of HYBE. Or do you think if HYBE had that kind of power they wouldn't fill the nomination rosters with only their artists, or do you think HYBE would've allowed BTS and their other artists to suffer snubs repeatedly for years?

I understand people are looking for someone or something to blame when their expectations aren't met and corporations are easy scapegoats because we all know they're bad, but it really shouldn't be so difficult to actually think about what it is one is saying.

I get it's easier to blame HYBE for Spotify splitting streams, but just as it didn't work in 2020 when ARMYs wanted combined streams for ON and ON ft Sia, were told the codes were different but later learned the codes are actually generated by Spotify after the label provides the songs, and ARMYs saw other songs combined instead with no explanation from Spotify... ARMYs learned back then that raging at HYBE likely isn't going to fix an issue controlled by an opaque third-party. Just as it didn't work all the times Billboard changed the rules for BTS.

I don't default to putting all the blame on the company whenever I see things I don't like because the members are adult men who should be held responsible for their choices. I don't idolize, infantilize, or baby them. If their choice involves delegating certain decisions to their team and their team drops the ball, I blame their team and also the members. It's what I said when I mentioned how I hated the Weverse album version for JITB and assumed Hobi was at least aware of and okay with that decision, and so I held him responsible as well. And Hobi is my bias. K-pop stans and akgaes in particular, have a habit of crediting the idol when they see good outcomes, but blaming the company when they see bad outcomes, when the reality is that both idol and company share responsibility. Especially in the case of BTS where we know all members are very involved in their solo careers.

The problem for solo stans is they don't know how to hold parties responsible without being abusive, hateful, devolving into conspiracies and raging all over the internet looking for a way to harm and handicap other members in retaliation, regardless of these people not actually knowing if other members are responsible for the outcome. It's just very juvenile and frankly insane behaviour.

I cannot want more for the boys than they want for themselves. Of course Jimin wants success. Same with the other members. I think it's fair to assume of course he wants awards and recognition and accolades, but I'm not privy to the conversations he's having with his team at HYBE, and I don't actually know what awards he cares about or what submissions they've discussed and made.

But people here, akgaes and their sympathizers, would rather incite hatred over Jungkook because they have no way of managing their emotions when their chosen member isn't getting his due. They have no way of expressing their disappointment without being hateful and disgusting.

Jungkook deserves everything good he gets. Jimin does too and then some. And I want that for all seven of them, but I won't begin hating one member with only a fraction of the information available to me because not actually knowing the full facts is oh so uncomfortable.

#bts #jimin #jungkook #jikook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts chapter 2 #bts solo stans #bts solo careers

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idleglowingpixels · 10 months

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Okay so, I watched the Miraculous Ladybug movie...

Originally I wasn't going to because the show was such a massive disappointment (mainly Seasons 4 and 5), and I mentally put my foot down saying I wasn't gonna consume anymore official content from the franchise. But morbid curiosity be damned, my God, it was probably everything I could have asked for from a movie for the franchise.

(Spoilers Ahead)

I'm gonna start with my critiques, with a lack of chronology, only so I can save the good parts for the end. I have a lot of nice things to say and I wanna end the post on a good note!

They really could've spent the time it took for Tikki and Marinette's song for the kwamis to explain the powers to Marinette and Adrien (and, in turn, the audience that might not know about/haven't seen the series). I love that song, and I thoroughly enjoyed Tikki's more sassy mentor-like position she takes in the movie, but I do feel that the powers are a bit difficult to understand if you're a newcomer to the show.

The fact Plagg, my favorite character from the series, got dumbed down to a fart joke made me so upset. It felt a lot like when Plagg got dumbed down to purely cheese puns and poor writing, he didn't feel as significant to Adrien's side of the story as Tikki was to Marinette's. RIP Plagg with nuance. :') To be completely honest, I think Plagg was really the only downgrade in characterization here though.

Did anyone else notice Nooroo had a different English VA in the movie??? I heard it and was like "WAIT YOU'RE NOT BEN DISKIN NOOOOO" haha. In fact it made me TERRIFIED they replaced Tikki and Plagg too, but I'm so happy they didn't. I don't hate the new voice tho! It does fit the character, but definitely leaned too grown-up and feminine sounding for me. I got too used to the squeaky, scared little baby voice Ben gave him. (EDIT: I actually really like the new voice lowkey, I think it's just as good as Ben but I do miss Ben for sure haha)

Obviously, the pacing had to heavily rely on montages throughout to move the story along due to the 90-minute runtime. I think of all children's film franchises to deserve a trilogy, this was the one, especially because of its international and overlapping appeal between its target audience and older fans. If we got the 3-act structure of this film evenly divided between 3 separate movies, it would've had much more time to flesh out the current cast of characters and narrative they were trying to tell. It's definitely the movie's biggest fault in my opinion, but I think fans of the series who have a baseline knowledge of the plot at the very least will enjoy the movie (unless they don't like musicals, I suppose).

I thought the best way to describe what it felt like watching boils down to "if someone took the series and wrote it into a 10k-to-20k-word oneshot fic." And I mean this affectionately, but with most fanfiction, generally you'd have pre-established knowledge of the world and how it works. The movie kind of goes off the assumption you have a baseline knowledge, so I wouldn't recommend it as a starting point for the show (tho I'd NEVER recommend the actual show to anyone), if only because it's so jarringly different in terms of their powers and characters. You'd only be setting up your poor friends for disappointment. :'D

The songs were fun, they're nothing crazy, but they're adorable. My only complaint for the songs is Marinette's singing VA being different than her speaking VA, another common complaint I've shared with others. Her singing VA is a wonderful singer, don't get me wrong, but Christina Vee/Valenzuela is such a talented singer and I would've loved to hear her sing for Marinette. I know Bryce wasn't singing for Adrien either, but his singing VA sounded similar enough that it wasn't as bothersome.

Okay, the best parts, let's go:

Now, admittedly, the story is rushed to hell and back. As a writer, I can't understate that. But what I can give the writing props for, unlike the show, is having its narrative not get overblown and out-of-focus. By the end of the series, there's so many characters and micro-arcs to keep track of -- Kagami's friendship with Lila, Luka's awareness of Ladybug & Chat Noir's identities, Alix being forced out of the picture at the start of Season 5, the ZagHeroes and Fae from the two specials that aired between S3 & S4, the fact I could go on should speak volumes enough -- that the actual story of the show crumbles beneath the weight of it all.

The movie condenses this narrative, and in doing so, it sets up the main characters of this film and what's looking like the next film, should this movie succeed. The main focus is on Marinette, Adrien and his father Gabriel, all of whom are well-known as the main heroes and villain of the series respectively. Through their stories, we somehow have that "vintage era" Miraculous charm that the first season or two of the show had, and also gave an ACTUALLY GOOD AND SATISFYING CONCLUSION TO THE STORY -- Sorry, I got sidetracked, we'll get back to that point later.

We also have Alya, Nino, Chloe and Nathalie, all in the movie BUT as a minor focus. The trio of kids get a bit more screentime than Nathalie, but they're present just enough to imply that they'll be important for the next film (Which I assume will have a return of Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee and Mayura respectively).

The animation, the big selling point of this film for most people, is incredible. Even seeing leaks before the movie dropped, you could tell this thing had cost big bucks for its animation. Apparently it was one of France's highest-budget animated films? It was gorgeous, I don't have much complaints with it, the style they were going for was just eye candy animation. Everyone's designs got elevated in this style, I think the only criticism I have for that is that Alya's hairstyle could've been changed to reflect the volume it has in the show, it looks a bit too thin and flat for my liking. But I guess that's just personal preference.

Master Fu! He's back, and he's a cooky AND wise old man! I was ecstatic to see him back. Once he was written out of the show in S3's finale, the show hasn't felt the same tbh. Idk why, but I didn't realized I missed him as much as I did until seeing him at the start of the movie. XD

No sentimonster bullshit shenanigans, THANK GOD. I really like the concept of senti-people, but good lord, the show's story was overly complex as it was, the movie didn't need to go making it worse. (Note, I got nothing against the theories! I just can't stand how the show executed that aspect of the plotline. It's awfully vague for absolutely no reason and screams that it was shoe-horned into the plot around mid-S3 for fan interest. The show only suffers from the inclusion of implications for the theories.)

And I'm SO HAPPY they gave Adrien some motherfucking agency. That scene where his father walks down the stairs looking disheveled af, demanding Adrien listen to him only for Adrien to say he doesn't have a father or that he lost his father a long time ago?!? Amazing. Bare minimum shit, yes, but it was executed so well. And him being an angsty teen, drowning out his solitude through music, and getting a bit of an ego through his Chat Noir persona? When I tell you this movie feels like a fanfic (affectionately), I mean it. It feels like the writers were actually competent enough to understand how to make a character 3-dimensional.

Same goes for Marinette. As much as I miss Rose, Juleka, Mylene and Alix being her friends, I think having Marinette start as a loner with no friends made her parallel with Adrien's feelings of isolation. Her arc of gaining her confidence and befriending Alya, Nino and Adrien, while Adrien's arc focuses on his grief and learning to open up to others again, was a nice contrast. And both of them actually felt equally important, which was probably the best part for me. (Side-tangent; If they introduce Kitty Section into a possible next film (which would make sense since they're a band and this movie is a musical adaptation), Marinette could befriend the old friend squad through the band. Maybe they could even be manipulated by Mayura in the next movie, and we could get a 5v5 battle between the Miraculous 5 and Rose, Juleka, Mylene, Luka and Ivan's amoks...? Just an idea I thought of on the spot.)

I didn't hate any of the songs, and the general consensus I've seen is that Hawk Moth's villainous song in the midst of the film was the best one (an opinion of which I agree, I had watched this with my cousin and we both agreed to start the song over after listening to it the first time, and it was the only song we did that to on our viewing). It also made the transformation into becoming Hawk Moth truly feel like a Jeckyll and Hyde style situation for Gabriel, like Hawk Moth was the alter-ego he could use to let his grief consume him and drive him mad. I'm a sucker for Jeckyll and Hyde tropes, and while it might've been intended, that's how I'm interpreting it. It was honestly a great change, and I joked that the top hat during the song made Hawk Moth officially a Tumblr sexyman lmao.

The 3-way reveal. WE GOT THE 3-WAY REVEAL. NO PREACHY, TIME-WASTING REVERSALS, NO BULLSHITTING FROM ASTRUC. WE ACTUALLY GOT THE 3-WAY REVEAL BETWEEN LADYBUG, CHAT NOIR AND HAWK MOTH. And it was just as fucking fantastic as the show ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE made it. There was NO EXCUSES for the show's ending for Gabriel/Hawk Moth to be as atrocious as it was, nor for Adrien to be completely fucking absent and not have an identity reveal -- and I refuse to let anyone say executive meddling was the reason for it. Jeremy Zag was Astruc's executive, and clearly with the movie being his passion project, Zag cares enough about the franchise that he wouldn't prevent Astruc from writing a good story. But Astruc is a horrible writer, whose faults really began to shine the more tone-deaf and preachy his writing of the show got. Istg, half of the episode's "lessons" was just Astruc venting his frustrations against fans who had valid criticism of the writing. But goddamn, it's gotta be real embarrassing for Astruc to have his own franchise/story made and written better for a 90-minute film by his colleague than he could write with 5 seasons and over 100 episodes...Yikes. XD

When I tell you some parts of the movie -- the kwamis having a bit more agency themselves (Nooroo popping out of the brooch was so cute!!! :'D), the characters in general, Gabriel's story (tho it could've used more GabeNath imo lol), the focus on the characters while also having some engaging & wild battles, the long-awaited identity reveal, the masquerade ball trope -- felt like aspects the series just completely didn't have or vastly underutilized, it's insane. The difference between the film and series is like night and day.

Overall, it wasn't the best-written movie, but it's EXACTLY what I assume most Miraculous fans desperately craved from the show that crumbled its quality in its hands, spat on it, threw it in a garbage bin and lit it on fire. I genuinely saw parts of this movie that paralleled the rewrite fic I wanna write for the series soon (THE CAT IN ADRIEN'S ROOM WHEN HE FINDS THE RING BRUH), and unlike the series, which inspired me by how bad it was, the movie had a few parts that were so well-written that it inspired me to write scenes as good as those (THE FUCKIN PART WITH LADYBUG SAYING "I need to go..." AND THE DESPERATION IN CHAT'S "...Don't...").

I feel similar after-the-fact as I did with the Super Mario Bros Movie -- imperfect, but satisfactory to pre-established fans of the franchise. If anyone you know ever wants to give the franchise a chance, I'd honestly exclusively recommend this movie, and maybe S1-S2. A solid 8/10, only having a high ranking because of how much fun and entertaining this film was to me, a fan since around S2's airing.

#linposts #miraculous ladybug spoilers #miraculous ladybug #miraculous movie #miraculous awakening #miraculous: ladybug & cat noir the movie #miraculous: ladybug & cat noir #miraculous awakening spoilers

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randomnumbers751650 · 2 years

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This is a follow-up to my previous post on One Piece Film: Red and Uta.

I feel what makes the tragedy so effective is how ultimately there was absolutely no malice in any of the characters that set off the events: Shanks just wanted the best or Uta and shield her from trauma, Gordon just loved music and Uta just wanted to sing.

I know that Shanks is the second biggest mystery of the series – the One Piece itself being the biggest – but even for someone who never saw the series, the movie does depict him as a force for good. So, when someone sees Uta’s flashback scene, they ought to realize there’s something wrong. Shanks was younger and, arguably, less mature when he did that decision.

From what I understood, he assumed that Uta would never sing again if she learned the truth, so, in order to make her dreams real, he took the blame and shame of being the responsible for destroying Elegia. Even if Uta hated him because what she thought he did, he just still loved her. This would qualify as “noble lie”, but…it didn’t work. Well, it kinda worked until she learned the truth.

Gordon also was such an interesting character. As a king and lover of music, he couldn’t destroy Tot Musica’s sheet. This is a unique type of error, an error so unique that nobody in the world, but him, could make. He admitted that, while sobbing, he couldn’t destroy it because he just loved music. So, when the Straw Hats, especially Usopp, told him he was still the best father figure he could to Uta, that scene really hits different.

But I wonder if destroying Tot Musica’s sheet would make any difference. Tot Musica itself isn’t really a character. Would it be difficult to have it sprout cheesy one-liners while declaring its world-destroying intentions? It is eerily silent, in spite of all the song it makes. Instead, Tot Musica is more of a force of nature than anything else. As much as you can’t bargain or converse with a hurricane or an earthquake, you can’t bargain with Tot Musica – it seems to be a demon born from music itself and all the sorrow and madness it brought along, along with all its joy and happiness. Tot Musica was attracted by Uta’s singing and the sheet just appeared to her, as if it was fate happening. So, if Gordon had enough fortitude to burn the sheet, what if an identical sheet would appear besides him just to mock him? As long there is music, Tot Musica will lurk in its shadow.

So, only a person who loved music a lot could be its vessel. As I said, Uta picking the cursed sheet was something almost inevitable. There was no devil tempting or goading her. It was her fault for something that wasn’t even wrong – memes of “did nothing wrong” abound, but this case earns it. And since she was possessed and destroyed Elegia out of her love of music and accident, not out of malice, the guilt would’ve break her. This explains Shanks’s decision – it was a wrong decision, but it wasn’t a 100% wrong decision.

And when she learned the truth, she broke. The weight of her guilt and shame just broke her. Without anyone to talk about her feelings, she saw nothing but despair in her future. And, as a performer, she had to combine her desire of making everyone happy with her music and her suicide into a spectacle. Even in her despair, she still wanted the best for the people, independent of anything that made them different (I think it’s kinda funny that the audience started to realize there was something wrong when she antagonized a terayubito).

But, even so, I felt she was never satisfied with her decision. Despair and sleep deprivation made her quite unhinged, but she still wanted someone to help her. Rewatching the scene where Shanks finally appears, she seemed to quickly smile out of relief, before resuming her character.

I talked to a friend of mine about it and she said that the plot seems to be following the “kisshotenketsu” type of story. In that, there’s not necessarily a “moral”, but the story is structured around a set-up and then overturning everything you knew with one big twist, and the consequences of that twist. In this case, the real story behind Elegia’s destruction, and how none of the three main characters involved had absolutely any malicious intentions. And the entire movie isn’t about redeeming Uta - as much as it is Luffy's objective -, but dealing with the consequences of that tragedy. Still, Uta was able to regain control of her destiny in the end and spare the world from the consequences of her actions, even if it cost her life.

It’s obvious the road to hell is paved in good intentions, but without good intentions there’s no way out of this road.

#one piece #one piece red #one piece film red #uta one piece #uta op #this movie makes me feel things

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kneelingshadowsalome · 1 year

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GIRLIE I LOVE YOUR WORK ESPECIALLY THE ONES ON AO3!!! IM TRYNAA BE LIKE YOU BESTIE, PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME WRITING TIPS/111!!!!???

(btw i really love man-sized, just finished it a couple days ago and AAAAAAAAA ITS SO GOOD I SWEAR!!!! LIKE MARRY ME PLEASE?!!?!)

Oh my goodness. You must be what they call a pookie 😘❤️ (I will marry you or adopt you, there's no middle ground.)

Thank you so much, you're making me blush!

I'm probably not the best person to give advice because I don't really know what's going on with my writing… It's a godawful mess. But I'll try!

So, writing tips under the cut ->

1. This might be boring and said a 100 times before, but... Show, don't tell! Obviously, I break this rule all the time when I go inside my character's head and explain how they feel and not just what they see, smell, hear, and touch. But if you're writing angst or fluff like I am, I'd say you must go inside the skin to dig into the character. (Also, f* the rules 😇)

2. If you don't know where to start, start with the dialogue. Even if it's just 4-10 sentences per scene. Then you can fill the gaps with some action, emotion/sensation and worldbuilding. But dialogue is actually the heart of your story and it creates some of the best tension; treat it with respect! Also: less is more with dialogue. Not always... but usually is.

3. Write from your own experience. We all have something to draw from, even if it's something as simple as how it feels to skinny dip in a cold lake. Or a hot bathtub. How does it feel to wake up from a nightmare or kiss someone you love? Like, truly feel? Don't tone it down!

4. If you want to sound more poetic, use metaphors and symbols and mythology. If you want to sound original, use history and culture and simply anything you have up your sleeve. All the "useless" knowledge: bring it on baby! When used sparingly, these can add to the depth of your storytelling.

5. Sculpt the paragraphs, then focus on the sentences, then hone single words. Whip out a goddamn dictionary. Search synonyms online (Thesaurus etc). Work with the words until they sound right for the story you wish to tell. Choose words that are most "alive" in your story's context, words that inspire feeling and stir emotion.

6. Read your story out loud or at least inside your head. That way you'll notice the errors and can fix the flow and rhythm of the story. Everyone loves a well-paced story! Sometimes just moving a sentence to a different paragraph or deleting it entirely can resolve an issue.

7. If you write a long fic, establish a core problem in the first chapter and remember to solve it before the story ends. For example in Man-sized, I presented an issue of trust. It was heavily inspired by my own lack of trust in men and the fear of getting played. Again, don't be afraid to draw from your own experience!

8. Music can help set the mood and bring out your creative flow. I have numerous playlists for writing or create a new one for the particular story in mind. If I want to write some heavyweight yearning, I'll blast some heavyweight yearning songs while I write. I don't know if this works for everybody; some people might need silence and space for creating.

9. The most important tip: WRITE FOR YOURSELF. Write the difficult, the overwhelming, the taboo. Write the most self-indulgent, shmexy scene ever! Or the fluffiest meet-cute that puts a smile on your face.

And if you're one of those writers who are not happy with their writing... write some more. Play with it, just don't give a shit. Let the inner demons give you courage and inspiration. Write about how shitty it feels to feel inadequate. You might find you just wrote some good poetry on suffering.

It's always better to write from love and joy instead of fear and shame – besides, life is too damn short to feel ashamed! Live a little and enjoy what you do, let writing be your escape. It's supposed to be a shelter where you can flee to when life is dull and hard and unfair. If other people's writing inspires you to write, then read. If other people's writing puts you down, save yourself some heartache and don't engage: just mind your own business and do your own thing.

Hope you found some of these tips helpful 💕 Much love 🩷💋 and happy, reckless writing!

#answered

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bashsbooks · 1 year

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I Would Leave Me If I Could Book Review

~2.5 out of 5 stars~

If you’ve turned on the radio in the past few years, you have probably heard a Halsey song. She’s been a staple of popular music for the last decade. I like quite a bit of her music, casually - my favorite song of hers is “Nightmare” - so when I saw that she released a poetry book, I knew I wanted to read it.

The relationship between songs and poems has been long-discussed, and for good reason - the two are closely related, even historically intertwined, but modern songs and poems are distinct. Halsey’s I Would Leave Me If I Could does an incredible job at highlighting what those distinctions are. Unfortunately for Halsey, that does not make for a technically “good” poetry collection.

I’ll be frank: this is a difficult book to rate because Halsey writes poems exactly like she writes songs, so if you read it because you like Halsey’s music (particularly her lyrics, though I think if you’re familiar enough with her general sound, your brain will apply it over her poems - or at least, mine did), then you will probably like this book. However, if you read it because you like contemporary poetry, you will probably hate it. And so, as someone who falls into both of these categories, I closed the book and wondered, “Okay, what the fuck do I do with this?” Hence the dead-center rating I’ve given it.

But let’s back up a bit. What do I mean by “Halsey writes poems exactly like she writes songs” and why is that… not how contemporary poetry works? At its most basic, the difference between poems in a collection versus songs on an album is that one is visual and one is auditory. Now, obviously many poems are read aloud, and I think these ones are significantly better read aloud because they become closer to Halsey’s expertise when spoken (although still not exactly right, because speaking a poem is a different art than singing). Modern pop songs also have a strong symbiotic relationship to the music behind them - most are not spokeword or instrument-less. Poetry does not have this same support; instead, its closest analog is the space on the page. It is not coincidental that Halsey has a strong grasp on how space works in poetry - she leaves gaps between words, stanzas, and even letters, to support her poems where she would normally let her music back her singing. She does something similar with punctuation.

It is also not coincidental that she leans too much on this support. Spaces between words in poems do not carry the same weight as instruments backing lyrics in songs. The key component of poems are the words, whereas generally speaking, the lyrics are significantly less important to the success of songs (this is, of course, more or less true depending on the genre, but it is very true in pop music). Halsey sometimes sacrifices the cohesiveness of her message for a clever, catchy rhyme; this is vital to the success of a pop song, but it is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot when writing poetry, especially contemporary free verse (Halsey’s preferred format) which tends to not rhyme much at all and certainly does not make rhyme a requirement.

Halsey brings the directness of a songwriter to her poems as well. Nothing can be left to the imagination. She will tell you explicitly how she feels about whatever topic her poem is exploring. This is not really how contemporary poetry works; nowhere is the old adage of ‘show, not tell’ more imperative than in contemporary poetry. I am not musically adept enough to explain why it works for pop music (something something the lyrics are secondary to the music that is invoking your emotions without stating them outright??), but I am confident it does not work for the kind of poetry that is prioritized nowadays.

This is not to say I think Halsey’s poetry is “bad.” The poetry world is full of snobs who could use a shakeup, and songwriters turned poets have the potential to do just that. I don’t know that it’s terribly good, either, though - setting aside her tendency to write like a songwriter rather than a poet, most everything she writes is in desperate need of being cut in half or otherwise pared down.

That all said, I Would Leave Me If I Could does the most important thing it needs to do: it caters to the existing audience of Halsey fans. And hey, that’s commendable in and of itself. So that is what gives it the rating of 2.5 out of 5 stars. Read it if you like Halsey; don’t read it if you like poetry.

#i would leave me if i could #halsey #2.5 out of 5 stars #book reviews #my book reviews #poetry collections #poetry review #my poetry review

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stumpyjoepete · 1 year

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Re: @tanadrin arguing with @youzicha

Let's imagine giving the wiretapping octopus a... reverse-diving suit. And it comes on the island and has to attempt to construct catapults from coconuts or whatever it was in the original example. Presumably it would be pretty hopeless in identifying coconuts and ropes. But does that mean it lacks any real understanding of the island and its contents?

Consider a congenitally deaf teenager who tries their hardest to understand music. They study theory, they read scores, they count along with conductors at concerts, they learn to play some songs on the piano, and they learn to transcribe things using FFT visualizations. They obviously can't hear anything, but they understand music as a stream of rule-governed symbols with associated timings. One day they are given a cochlear implant which allows them to hear for the first time. Initially they find the auditory experience of music to be incoherent, but after a few months, they are able to appreciate music in a similar way to that of congenitally hearing people.

Did they "understand" music before they could hear? No in one rather important way, but yes in other ways. Were they starting from scratch when they began learning this new modality of input? Obviously not. In some sense the major challenge was to align existing understanding from their studies with this new, poorly understood input channel. Would alignment have been possible without some sort of cross-channel feedback (e.g., playing what you intellectually know to be a major chord in order to learn how it sounds as opposed to somehow finding that out just from the sounds on their own)? Probably not, but once you have a foothold, lots of other knowledge would transfer to the new modality.

Returning to the case of our eight-legged wiretapper-cum-catapult-constructor: would they eventually come to understand ropes and coconuts? Sure, eventually, with some help. At least that's how it seems to me. It's not even clear to me that someone would have to tell them what a rope is directly--if for example they had several relevant properties explained via example, they would be able to figure out the rest from their existing linguistic knowledge. Not every labeling of objects and properties is possible!

Commentary on related issues:

Tanadrin maintains that embodied cognition is necessary for true understanding.

There are two very different directions to go with that: sense data as being fundamentally different from symbolic data, and embodiment allowing for experimentation/active exploration (as opposed to just sampling).

Tanadrin's posts seem to have gone for the first angle and then more specifically adopted an argument about correspondence ambiguity.

Correspondence ambiguity doesn't seem like a difficult issue to overcome (gestures towards above post).

I'm not really grappling with any other sense-vs-symbol arguments that could potentially be put forward.

I also don't address anything about the experimentation-vs-sampling, but I'm not sure I really have any great insights there. It seemed plausible to me that experimentation is critical, but then recent LLMs seem to have done surprisingly well at figuring out important things without it.

#sorry for an unprompted text dump on this topic #but i deserve some credit for writing the phrase “helen-kellerized octopus experiment” and then deciding to delete that #ai #philosophy

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dailywords4dailypeople · 11 months

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illustrious

the authorities are on my back. half a semester into working at my new school, and the observation feedback has not been good. we are talking quite literally a sixty-nine out of one hundred.

69%

on the evaluation form, all of the points of criticism were strictly that: criticism. there was nothing constructive. the only positive things said were...

use of a timer, and displaying it on the smartboard

use of realia

the first point was an obvious example that the authorities had nothing good to say, which is reinforced by the point that i did NOT use realia. I truly don't know why the comment was included.

the authorities are passive aggressive. they are people who do not know how to explain their point. they do not tell me the problem; they only state that a problem exists. now it is my job to diagnose their paper trail--a task that requires someone with greater patience than i to carry. i've been holding back my replies to their messages else i flood them with a rebuttal that would do little to rectify the situation.

this past Friday, the authorities visited my office. they waddled. in their voice, I heard the sound of apprehension. the subtle timidity. a voice preparing to speak words that it would rather not have to say.

we talked and it was fine. I told them it was difficult. I told them several things. they asked me if I enjoyed working here. I did not lie in my response, yet I did not know how to answer. how does one say I love my students, and I harbor resentment for the authorities? in an effort to congeal the two sentiments, I told the authorities that i liked the job well enough. (i do. i really do.) i did not tell the authorities that they should be weary of every time they pay me, least it be the last they hear from me again. i did not tell them the issues that i have with their communication. i did not say, "stop being passive aggressive." no. I told them I liked the job, and the authorities started saying

I don't want to lose you

peculiar. so I told them blahh blah blah and they said blah buhblaah to my blahh blah was a bluh blah back to blah and then blah blah blah I may have shed a tear. what can I say? they had come into my classroom, and more or less said I sucked at my job. please forgive me for a mere display of human emotion. I'm someone who enjoys crying.

but the conversation was nearing its end

adorned with a smile, the authorities asked me if I understood, right? that there was something I should have pieced together and you got it, right? standing up to leave, because you get it. I don't want to lose you. you get it. right? I said

no, i do not understand

"first there are two verbal warnings, then a written warning, then if there's still no improvement, your case will be evaluated and we will decide whether or not to let you go."

how could someone say all that and end it with a smile?

my face returned to its resting state~shifted and stood still as stoic as the shape it will take in my funeral casket.

the authorities nodded, still smiling. I nodded. I said yes and may have raised my eyebrows for an instant. I did not smile.

upon leaving, the authorities were already on another phone call "ขอโทษค่ะ"

i have yet to learn what is expected of me. I have yet to learn how to advocate for myself and to call attention to the work I have done. I have done. I have done. I have done so much work. work that the authorities do not recognize. my friends tell me I work too hard, and the fix for this situation is to do the bare minimum.

i suppose they have a point. to think of my work as illustrious is conceited. i am nothing more than the song of a goat, so stop trying to be something bigger. stop icarusing, you tragic fool. melt your own wings so the sun need not do it for u. you are wax and clay. you will melt, fall into the boiling sea. drown as no one thinks to help u. why should they? they are occupied with finding a teacher who will do exactly as chatGPT says. robots are the future, and 90% of lesson plans are written by A.I.s nowadays. do yourself a favor and upload your consciousness. do it now because they eat you. they do not know who will butcher me. they do not know who will bake the pie. they will not know as they eat that the hue of the cream matches that of my iris.

lay thy curse upon the house of atreus, and dye

dye while still young enough for dy-ing to be illustrious.

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pretty-toastie · 1 year

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wow more rambling literary critique?? from me??

i have opinions and nowhere else to put them so deal with it. i swear i'll write some poetry or some long form prose soon-ish.

anyway! i'm currently obsessed with a couple things

one: the Baby Queen lyric "I scream at you in poetry" from Dover Beach it just. it hits so hard. it punches above its weight. i can't describe why but it is the kind of phrase that i would read in prose and go "oh, this author is going on my list of inspirations." it's the way i want to write. to do my best to explain my feelings about this stupid six word song lyric---it feels as though it very clearly succinctly describes an emotion that is intensely relatable and at the same time completely foreign. it is trying desperately to communicate with someone, and having it come out beautiful and obscured---wonderful to hear, difficult to understand. it is the powerlessness of being unable to communicate more clearly, the desperation of trying to get your point across and watching helplessly as it is caught up and tossed aside in the midst of flowery words and elegant metaphors. It just. hits hard.

TWO: fucking Lucy Caldwell. again. one of my creative writing classmates had a line in her workshop story (which i'm supposed to be reading rn shhhhh) that sent me directly back to Here We Are and i had to go back and reread my favorite lines and i just---

"All love stories are the same story: the moment that, that moment when, the moment we."

(sorry this is a whole ass passage but y'all i CANNOT with this story i just have to get this out here my gay lil heart can't handle this all on my own) "Angie looked at me. The expression in her eyes was almost amused. Then, ignoring the nervous giggles and whispered bravado of the others, she took a step forward and reached out for the cigarette. Her fingers grazed mine as they took it from me. She held it for a moment, then let it fall to the ground, crushed it with her heel. She looked me in the eye the whole time. I felt heat surge to my face. 'You don't smoke,' she said, and then she said my name."

like holy fuck what i wouldn't give to write a sapphic scene that good.

ALSO. for those of you who really love reading my rambles. i just. want to break down specifically what i love about her writing? because it's these really specific things, and i do some of them in my own writing and they're things i've seen Nina LaCour do, and i just have so much love for them as stylistic elements of prose.

so first: "She held it for a moment, then let it fall to the ground, crushed it with her heel." this. this fucking sentence. this list without the word "and". I DO THIS. I LOVE THIS. GIVE ME LISTS WITHOUT THE WORD "AND". i don't know why but they feel so much more human and emotional and raw. it's so good. and also Nina LaCour does it.

second: "'You don't smoke,' she said, and then she said my name." it's harder to explain what i like so much about this line, but again i think it's a sort of breaking-the-rules of standard prose. it's particularly "and then she said my name." that gets me---we NEVER LEARN THE NARRATORS NAME IN THIS STORY. also i can't get over that sort of comma separated dialogue nonsense. it's something i adore.

and finally, wrapping up this needlessly long post: "Her fingers grazed mine as they took it from me." it's just so succinct. like you already know what that means. you can probably feel what it would feel like. it doesn't need to be more elegant, it doesn't need to be a more complex structure. it's just a statement of fact, and at the same time it tells you so much.

#lucy caldwell #here we are #rambling

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jackalsinthekitchen · 1 year

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pop report #4 (2/4/23)

new beginnings and the same old songs – pop is art & art is pop

How’s your week going? Mine’s alright. A new week of American chart action is coming to a close, with another shuffle of the cards due tomorrow. What does it all mean? Perhaps nothing. But locating the beauty and excitement and innovation and empowerment and restoration in apparent meaninglessness is why we love pop music in the first place. Though I guess “meaninglessness” is for the old days, when men in suits decried the slide from Johnnie Ray to Fabian – yearning for the more contained, prudent noise of, oh, Mitch Miller, another tie-throttled hater who did more to trivialize music than Elvis ever did.

Well. It isn’t the ‘50s, it’s the ‘20s (christ): pop music is artistic expression, & it sounds better than ever.

It may not be better than ever. What has our ever-polarized country enjoyed most this week? Miley Cyrus finally appears atop the country’s slowest and most significant chart, keeping “Kill Bill” down, though SZA can take historical solace in how many great songs stalled at #2. The Cyrus hit sounds better with each play – its music groovy and juicy, its self-love anthem lyrics as vital as those kinds of things always are. As I opined last week, however, for a woman who seems to flock to extremes, MC’s songs always feel so hedged – the chaos and lunacy she deploys more naturally than most pop stars are often difficult to find in her actual music. As art for money’s sake goes, “Flowers” feels fresh enough. But SZA’s hit, and its parent album, really are great art: formally inventive, emotionally raw yet nuanced, musically dreamy without disappearing into the ether, her specialty. That it’s selling is a credit to us (U.S.).

“Anti-Hero” settles into a respectable #3. I wish someone would explain to me, in concise and exciting fashion, why the turnarounds on these entries are so slow. How many different experiences an hour is TikTok? 150? We obviously have a voracious appetite for different shit. But this is how it’s always been, and anyway, Swift’s hit has yet to lose its luster for me. “Creepin” hangs in high; recall that the Weeknd is the guy who finally unseated “The Twist” as the bestselling song in Billboard’s entire history. The thing about the Weeknd, which seems to have been buried by a decade’s passage, is that when he first appeared, with the genuinely underground House of Balloons, he really seemed like a creep. That whole “when I’m fucked up, that’s the real me” shit – his music his almost always about sex, but also always sounds ominous and tortured, and I don’t know how to reconcile those things. But this is a fucked-up country, so honestly if he helps people exorcise lust and pain at once, great. Mope on, Week.

His albums are all over the charts too, reminding me that in terms of pure sales, the Weeknd and Drake are the Elton John and Paul McCartney (& Wings) of their era. SZA, at least, reigns supreme over in that top 10, with Midnights once again right up there too. While both albums are the kind you could live in comfortably for months on end – they draw your worst feelings out, subject them to a full spa treatment and six-session therapy course, and put them right back where they belong – it does seem like SZA’s is decisively better. Taylor’s chronic if inconsistent ungainliness, her ability to settle on the silliest and most awkward couplet in the world and match it to a judiciously sincere vocal and gloriously predictable melody, is part of her charm. But SOS’s lyrical wisdom and musical efficacy are a level above.

We’ll get back to #s 3 and 4 on the album charts – which are NEW ENTRIES – briefly noting that 5-10 are Metro Boomin’s Gloomiest Hits, Drake & 21 Savage Present: Women! Am I Right?, Bad Bunny es Jodidamente Sexy, Offensive: That Very Long Country Album, Zach Bryan’s record (which is still a real joy on contact, so I hope there’s nothing MAGA in the lyrics), and Growing Up Baby (by L. Baby). But because this isn’t readily available information, I should go back to running down the top singles. “Unholy” lives! People still think “I’m Good” is good! They’d die for “Die for You”! They think “Rich Flex” is a flex, Rich! “As it Was” is still there, as it was! “Golden Hour” is having its (OK OK. I’ll apologize later)

Getting back to #3 and #4 on the album charts: Trippie Redd – there’s a pair of words I’ve never seen, but this is his fifth album – is #3, a fairly conventional-sounding hard trap record whose track list is full of pairs of words I have seen, like “Chief” and “Keef”, “Juice” and “WRLD”. (The latter deserves the work he’s still getting four years after his death.) As for #4, if you saw how the artist’s name (HARDY) and the song titles (“beer”), not to mention the album title (the mockingbird & THE CROW), are styled (like THIS), well you wouldn’t know what to think. But though I’m not exactly sure what HARDY stands for (Hey! A Real Damn Yokel, maybe? “ain’t talkin politics, I’m talkin small towns, and if you’re FRUM WON you know what I’m TALKIN BAHOUT”), he’s a country act produced like a pop metal act – like Trippie, solid but unimaginative.

Look: part of why I want to examine these charts is that I have Boomer’s Kid Syndrome. I try to trick my ears into thinking it’s decades ago. But I wanna know what’s happening now, and since the monoculture is decomposing, I feel like this is the closest I can get to a consensus. Of course, this leaves out a wealth of brilliant indie music – not a genre, I remind you, but a classification based on distribution and, consequently, the expected reach of the musical product in question. Indie’s broken into our charts many times, and there was a minute between the aughts & the teens where pure pop actually began to feel like the underdog.

Though power is power, privilege is privilege and good old capitalism is shitty old capitalism, I don’t like to draw these distinctions between pop and art – it’s all pop art, man. It’s like people I remember from school who used to insist that “movies” and “films” are different things, a misguided stance exemplified by the annual kerfuffle in which a thing like Top Gun: Maverick gets nominated for Best Picture and roughly equal portions of people flip their shit (positive and negative). But art is good or bad, and there isn’t even a science to prove which, or how much. Pure enjoyment and undeniable profundity can coexist; can even be melded into the same moment.

So yeah: there’s so much more music to write about than whatever will take these top slots throughout the year, and because this is my brand new blog on fucking Tumblr which at the moment nobody reads (I’m talkin to YOU, reader), I can write something like this: I don’t know what this blog is going to be yet, exactly. For a little over a decade I’ve been writing freelance very casually and with a regrettable dearth of ambition, with little victories and lengthy droughts. I used to write a lot more and a lot worse, but then and now I only ever seem to write about pop music. I have a real thing for the now-octogenarian Dean of American Rock Critics Robert Christgau, who can get away with unwieldier sentences and more absurdly obscure words than anybody should ever try. But in the spirit of finding the momentum in the core of a new beginning, I figured I’d give myself a place to write with no rules, save for the ones I set.

I knew quickly on that writing a piece at a rough rate of one per week could burn me out fast, and have discovered that these Billboard redundancies don’t make for very fresh content. But as I was going down the latest list, recognizing that this piece is nearly a week late by my own arbitrary deadline, I realized something. I missed a week! I didn’t bug you at all about the week of January 28th! So now, not only do you not know what happened, you don’t even know how I feel about it. While I feel true, deep regret for this act of deprival, it’s useful in that it proves to me that the world won’t end if I skip a week. Or two. Or six. But that’s these chart beats. I have plenty to say about all kinds of shit that happened long before.

So adieu for now, with Jackals! to return and roam around a few new fields sometime before this next month comes in like a lion. (February in Texas is more like a hippo – deceptively sedate until it rises up, roars, and bites you through the torso). Thanks so much for reading, you two. And since it’s quiet enough here to not risk embarrassing her, I’ll add a bit more gratitude to that which I give her regularly, and thank Jenna Caire for editing these pieces – a startlingly enjoyable process – & designing our logo.

#theweeknd #metroboomin #sza #taylorswift #hardy #trippieredd #eltonjohn #topgunmaverick #mitchmiller #robertchristgau

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lollypopsx · 3 years

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Flatmate!Harry: I'll Make It Up To You - Part 2

Please like if it’s not too shabby, reblog for anyone who may enjoy this and follow if you want to see more! Any suggestions are happily taken for future writing! I love you all! be safe and be kind x

Warnings: Hints of depression and anxiety

Part 1 - Part 3

—————————

Days had passed since the audition, and while you were sat on your laptop every hour searching for new jobs, new projects, more auditions and pure hope of some miracle, you couldn't help but starting to feel like you were failing slightly.

You liked to write happy songs and create stories using your music, but you were finding it harder to find the inspiration. Usually you and Harry would sit and talk ideas for hours, but since he made you miss your audition, you were distant from him, it was only the last day or two that you had been getting slowly back to normal.

Every day since the incident when Harry came home after working at the studio, he would open the curtains to make sure you had fresh air and daylight after cooping yourself up on the sofa all day, in the dimly lit living room. Not only that, he would check the cupboards, fridge and the sink to check that you were eating enough. He had seen you stressed and upset before. He had been there through some difficult moments in your life, and had always been your rock throughout the years, especially when your mental health was struggling during these times. But this time was worse. He couldn't help being concerned for someone he loved and cared for.

"Hey pumpkin..." He whispers softly, settling himself down beside you after completing his daily routine "Have you done much today?" he gently combs his fingers through your hair before dropping his arm round your shoulders.

You just sigh softly, looking ahead blankly at the quiet TV, simply shaking your head. If only he could see what was going on in that pretty mind of yours then maybe he could make everything better.

"I see you used the piano and the guitar today though..." he states, although it came out more like a question.

Minutes of silence filled the room until out of the blue, some words left your lips. "...Adam came to get the ring today" you whisper, feeling the tears brim your eyes once again, for what felt like the millionth time today.

"Oh darling" He frowns, pulling you into his chest tightly, just like he did the night you found out your (now ex-) boyfriend, Adam, was cheating on you. Unfortunately, you happened to find out minutes before he proposed to you, in front of all of your friends, including Harry. You didn't know what to do, so you took the ring, said you'd think about it and you left him standing alone. This all happened months ago, and you really thought that you was totally over it.

"Everything that's happened this week...I-I just...I feel like such a failure Haz. It just feels like I...I-I'm falling...falling apart and nothings going right! Why isn’t anything going right! I can’t even write one stupid song that makes sense" you let out hard sobs as your hands fisted his clean white t-shirt.

"No...no, no, no don't say that...please don't ever say that." He frowns, pulling away from you, but still staying close. His warm hands press against your cheeks as he lifts your face gently "hey, hey look at me" he whispers, begging you to look at him.

Your sad wide eyes flickered up into his, gentle tears falling down your face. "I know...I know it's hard at the moment. But everything happens for a reason. And everything will get better...I know it will. Do you trust me?" He whispers, his eyes gazing deep into yours, almost like if he looked hard enough, he could read your mind.

You give a hesitant nod as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before wiping the tears dampening your cheeks. Being affectionate together wasn't anything unusual for the two of you, you really were the best of friends.

"I'll go make some dinner okay? Pasta sound good?" You just nod your head gently at him as he leaves your side. You let out a deep sigh and head over to the living room window, watching the sunrise beginning to set over the busy London town. "So...how's the studio going?" You ask him curiously, your gaze still at the window.

"I erm..." He clutters around in the kitchen. His job was a topic he had been avoiding for the last few days. He didn't want to rub it in that he was busy writing an album for millions of fans, who would be screaming his lyrics back to him all over the world in years to come. "It's...good. I mean, its tiring but I...yeah. It's good" He nods.

"H, you don't have to avoid it. I forgive you for what happened. I know you would never have done it out of spite...and you deserve your life style, you work hard!" You say as you head into the kitchen, re-filling the water in the vase on the table, your vibrant roses and lilies still looking as beautiful as the first day Harry bought them for you.

"You work hard too!" He frowns softly "Harry I don't think moping around on the sofa, drowning in my sorrows, is the definition of working hard" You let out a gentle chuckle.

"So...how's it really going?" You hop up onto the stool beside the kitchen counter.

"Well, we have 4 songs so far...and they are...different to the last album. I mean they reckon three of them will be on the pop charts...maybe even a number one slot there" He sighs softly.

"Oh wow, that does sound different to before...and you...don't want that?" You ask curiously, judging by the lack of excitement. "Well...it's not that. I just...it's hard to write another album when the last one did well, and you have to make sure it's better than the last one." He sighs softly as he cooks. "They want me to write some slower, more emotional songs. I just can't...well the words don't fit right. I'm just not feeling emotional about anything, so I don't know where to get the emotion from"

"Well you can't put a price on emotion Haz, you can't just go and buy it in Gucci. You have to really feel it. Even if you aren't thinking about something specific or direct to you. I used to find that sometimes when I was trying to write, I'd create these characters in my head, and I'd give them all these different stories and personalities. And I...I used that to really help me write music. It's not easy." You explain while getting two of the plates from the cupboard and pouring two drinks for the table.

"You used to? You mean you don't use that method anymore?" He asks curiously, while giving the pasta one final stir.

"I...I think I've decided that I'm not going to write music anymore" You shrug softly, your eyes unable to life to his. "I need a proper job. And things aren't going well with auditions lately and I make a total fool out of myself every time I go into a meeting. It's time I looked for a proper job. Besides, the price of bills in this house keeps going up and up."

"What?! Y/N you're so good at writing songs and music! You can't throw it all away now! That is your proper job. And I love hearing what you write, it inspires my own stuff!" He frowns, his brow furrowing, trying to understand you. "Think of all the songs no one will get to hear"

"No one hears them anyway...It's different now. The entertainment industry is changing more and more by the day. Maybe the stuff I write just isn't as trendy anymore." It was difficult for you to admit, but you knew you had to accept it.

"There's a fine line between us Styles, because the difference is, you're already there. You have the whole world in your hands Haz, you can go anywhere and do anything. You could sing a song to a fish and the whole world would be adored by you still! If I did something like that...I'd be laughed out of every interview, audition and meeting for the rest of my life. But we’ll be alright" You smile and shrug, your mood had certainly been hit and miss the last few days, but you knew you had to carry on with your life.

—————————

“Hey Y/N come here!” Harry calls from the living room. You were currently in your room, scrolling through your Instagram, while in a pasta coma after dinner. You rush over to the living room “What’s up?” You ask, seeing him sat at the gleaming white piano, which as always was sat under the window.

“What do you think?” He starts to play a few notes on the piano, looking between the scruffy paper notes cluttering the top of the piano and his hands.

“Can’t put a price on emotion...it’s something that you just can’t buy...you...you’ve got my devotion...but....but” He sighs softly, playing around with the notes and the wording on his notes.

You smile softly as you recognise his acknowledgment of your earlier conversation “...but man, I can hate you sometimes” you sing gently, testing to see how it could fit.

“Hey that’s mean! Why would you say that!” He fakes a pout up at you “I thought we- hey actually...you’re right! That really fits!” He chuckles, pulling you onto the stool beside him. “Can you try a G chord, B chord and....lets try a C...” You nod and smile as your fingers gloss over the keys effortlessly, while Harry fits the verse together and tries to find the right tempo.

“Wait...it doesn’t sound right. Maybe lets try a D instead of C?” You suggest as you re-try, playing those three chords over and over again.

“You...are...a genius!” He grins and wraps his arms around your waist. ”Keep going!” He smirks, pushing more lyrics in front of you. Sometimes having a fresh pair of eyes really helped...or perhaps he just wanted to prove that you had talent.

You peer down at the pages upon pages of words flooding your view. “...I don’t want to fight with you....and I...and I don’t like to sleep in the dark...we’ll get the drinks in...I...I can’t stop thinking of her...”

Harrys fingers join yours at the piano “We’ll be a fine line....We’ll be a fine line...”He smiles softly as he taps on a few random keys.

You pull your fingers away gently “It...your song sounds...really good H. It’s beautiful actually.”

“You mean our song...” He whispers.

“Harry no, it’s your song, all the pieces, I just put your jigsaw together” You smile. “I know how it is writing songs and the first draft is never the same as the final version. You might decide to change it all completely” You whisper.

“Not with your lyrical genius ability and words of wisdom...your name will be all over this track” You felt a shock of electricity ripple through your veins as you felt his eyes burning into yours. His lips pressed gently against your forehead, lingering against your skin longer than usual. That sort of affection was normal from your best friend...so why did it just feel like something completely different? And what did he mean about my name being all over the track?

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Tag List: @harryhoney-bee - @sunandherflores - @sad-capuccino

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #one shot #hslot #flatmate!harry #roommate!harry #fine line #lollypopsx #fanfic #imagine #request #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #Harry styles fluff

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bubble-tea-bunny · 3 years

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dive into you

[bennett x reader]

author’s note: lil fic for bestest boy benny inspired by the song by nct dream and the summer season :’)

word count: 3,600

There’s a bakery opposite of Angel’s Share, just across the cobblestone road, and every morning the smell of freshly baked bread wafts from its open double doors, ready to welcome patrons and the crisp air of the early hours. Bennett has easily fallen into the routine of making this his first stop of the day. When he wakes, eyes slow to open and greeted by little squares of light on the ceiling of his bedroom from the sunlight shining through the window, he swears he can already smell that bread and the pastries and the care put into each one. He doesn’t often find it in him to be lazy, to be sluggish this early, for a new day was a new promise of adventure, and whether he’s swept along by the wind to the wilds or to the bakery, it’s an adventure all the same.

He always picks out food for his dads. He considers carefully what they might like to have (some prefer to have the same each time, others don’t mind the variety and like to be surprised), and carefully, slowly he fills the tray. Usually it isn’t busy during the time he’s there, but he doesn’t want to take risks as he holds it securely with both hands whenever he’s perusing the selection. Even if there were no people to bump into, with his luck, he might bump into one of the displays in the middle of the shop instead, consequence of paying more attention to the shelves against the wall where there are loaves baked into fun shapes like fish or crabs, rather than to what’s in front of him. He’d hate to drop everything on his tray and waste it.

Sometimes the bakery keeps the doors closed, and while uncommon, it’s nothing unusual. On these occasions, the entry of each customer is announced by the small bell jingling just overhead. It’s the only sound in the shop, ringing several times in the past ten minutes but it’s mere background noise, easily ignored, as Bennett absorbs himself in choosing what to buy today.

“Good morning!”

Bennett’s hand freezes just above a loaf of bread that looks like a bear and he glances behind him to the counter because the sound of your bubbly voice, conversely, is much more difficult to ignore. Though to be fair, to him, you’re no mere background noise.

You’re carrying a basket of more loaves just taken from the oven, half of them regularly shaped into circles and the other half like turtles, and grin at the customers who have just walked in. He watches you make your way over to a shelf several feet away from him to arrange the bread, and he stares long enough that you’ve taken notice. Your smile is bright and reaches your eyes, and he’s embarrassed to have been caught. His cheeks grow warm and you can probably see the dusting of red across his face, a speculation which doesn’t help alleviate this embarrassment one bit.

“Good morning, Bennett,” you greet him, more quietly since he’s closer.

He likes when you say his name, and it never fails to make his heart skip a beat and he stutters out an O-Oh, um… as if surprised that you’re talking to him, much less that you know who he is. It shouldn’t take him off guard that you know, considering how often he comes to the bakery, so he supposes it has more to do with the fact that he can’t believe his name should be spoken by a voice as gentle as yours, honeyed tones like the softly plucked notes of the Holy Lyre der Himmel.

Finally he musters an equally quiet Good morning in response, smiling back but he’s certain it looks more like a cringe, owed to his nerves. If it does, you don’t point it out, and simply return to your task. Only when another patron comes up to Bennett’s other side, muttering a pardon as they grab a loaf from the shelf he’s standing in front of, does he break his gaze from you. His hand that had been hovering above the bread that whole time he drops back down to his side, and he scoots to make room with another stutter and a sorry.

You’re back behind the counter when Bennett is ready to pay. The pile of bread, cake slices, sandwiches, and other miscellaneous pastries had in the past led you to ask him if these were snacks for the road, for you’d guessed him to be an adventurer doing commissions for the guild by the sword at his side. He’d chuckled and explained his actual purpose for buying as much as he did, and your grin had widened, and if he wasn’t imagining things, you’d been extra careful when packing every treat.

I’m sure they’ll really appreciate your gesture, you’d said. That’s sweet of you. And it’s not frequently that events in the course of his life run smoothly, but that day they had, and with no falter in his words he remarks it’s thanks to you, for you’re the reason there’s anything to bring back to his dads in the first place. You’d laughed and his chest tightened and he thinks that’s the point where he started to fall (to where, he hesitated to state exactly). But in any case, it was true—without you, there was no bakery filled to the brim with delicious food, and if he had anything to say about that, Mondstadt would be worse off for it.

This morning, Bennett is digging around his wallet for the appropriate amount of Mora while you pack what he’d picked out. Having gone through this process many times prior, he knows approximately how much it should cost.

“Ah—”

A few coins slip from his hand and clatter to the wooden floor, and he bends to pick them up. But on the way down, his head knocks into the tray that he neglected to push all the way onto the countertop, so part of it still stuck out. You blink in surprise at the jostling of the tray and his subsequent Ouch!, muffled because he’s obscured by the counter.

“Are you okay?” You sound genuinely worried, but to Bennett the accident had been no big deal. At least none of the food had fallen.

“Yeah,” he assures you. He’s still trying to gather up the stray Mora, fingers failing to get a proper grip on them and he huffs in slight exasperation. His face once more is burning from the embarrassment of being so clumsy. He’s clumsy around everyone, and it’s something he has long since come to accept, but it matters a lot more when it’s you.

Finally he stands back up, the money clutched in his fist victoriously. “Yeah!” he repeats now that you can hear him clearly. “It’s no big deal.”

For a second you don’t quite believe him, but it’s hard to argue with that smile on his face. There’s no pain he’s trying to hide (embarrassment, on the other hand, is a different issue entirely).

Upon handing him his package you tell him you’ll see him tomorrow and he feels sort of special because you don’t say it to anyone else. To others, you say Thank you, come again! but you know his routine and you know to expect him at the same time each morning. Judging by the look in your eyes and the sound of your voice when you see and greet him, you anticipate his visit every time, and his heart wants to soar out from the confines of his chest upon this realization and he is exhilarated. The wind and the new day have fulfilled their promise of an adventure, and the clock hasn’t even struck noon.

One day you’re a little distracted, focused on a paper in your hand as Bennett approaches the counter with his tray of baked goods. For the most part, your face gives nothing away, but then your brows furrow slightly, a subtle action he doesn’t miss, and he proceeds to ask if anything is wrong. He asks it kindly, keeps his tone neutral, wordlessly conveying that you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. He would hate to pry.

You purse your lips, pausing like you’re caught between saying yes and no. He waits patiently for whichever one it might be.

“I ran out of sugar and had been meaning to make more,” you start, opting to share with him what’s been troubling you.“I bought out Flora’s stock of sweet flowers but it wasn’t enough, so I may have to set aside time to pick more myself later.”

The mention of heading outside of the city makes Bennett perk up, for he never turns down a chance to go exploring. He’s about to offer to do it for you, but it’s the thought of possibly going with you instead that makes him hold back and rephrase his question.

“This afternoon?” he inquires, head tilting. You nod, and up until now he’d felt confident in the offer he was going to present, but then his nerves get the better of him and it doesn’t come out quite the way he was hoping. “I-I could go with you! You know, if you want! To protect you… Just in case…” He trails off and he wants to go hide in a hole. There are few other ways this could have gone worse.

You don’t answer right away, and he regrets having said anything at all, but your beautiful smile soon follows the silence and it sets his mind at ease, and you agree with a concise and cheery Sure! Well, at least the worst way this could have gone had not come to pass. It was the small victories for Bennett—just as important as the big ones. The next challenge would be to avoid making a fool of himself out there, in what should be his natural element; he does want to impress you. But that’s a big ask for someone like him…

Both of you agree to meet at the front gate in the late afternoon. By then, the traffic in the bakery is slow enough that you’re able to step away earlier than the normal closing time. You’ve changed into clothes more appropriate for walking around: in lieu of a dress, your typical work attire, you sport a tunic and trousers you don’t mind dirtying. The trousers are tailored to fit properly but the tunic is a tad big, the sleeves a bit too long, but Bennett thinks you look cute in it. A basket hangs on your forearm and you wave as you walk up to him.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting too long,” you say.

Bennett shakes his head. “Not long at all.” Technically the agreed upon meeting time was only five minutes ago, so you aren’t very late. Though he does refrain from sharing that he’d arrived early, in fear that he could end up late somehow and you would be the one who had to wait. Really, it’s been more like fifteen minutes for him, but he just keeps quiet about that.

One of the nice things about summer is that the sun sets later. There’s still a sufficient amount of light to illuminate the fields as you walk around in search of sweet flowers. At first, the extent of your conversation is discussing where you might be able to find a high concentration of them, then silence filled with the sifting of grass beneath your shoes and the occasional exclamation of having spotted a flower to be picked and tucked away in your basket.

Honestly, walking with you around the wilds of Mondstadt hadn’t been anywhere on Bennett’s list to do today, or any day really, not until he could muster the courage to invite you out like this, and who knew when that might be. Your need for sweet flowers had dropped the opportunity right into his lap, and thankfully he hadn’t squandered it. But now he’s at a loss as to what to talk about; he didn’t think he’d ever get this far.

Maybe you sense his struggle to come up with a topic of conversation because you’re the one to speak up, asking about his adventures and the commissions he takes. Done anything exciting recently?

Bennett’s eyes light up, a reaction which you can't help but smile at, and he regales you of the goings-on of his latest missions. He omits the instances where his clumsiness had made things more difficult (of which there were many), but each story is still truthful. Most of his commissions the past month hadn’t been anything too bold—after a mission that involved nearly getting himself trapped in a ruin due to solving a puzzle wrong then getting food poisoning on top of that from the snack he’d prepped that day, he’s been choosing jobs that he knows he’s more capable of.

To him, they aren’t too exciting, and in the larger scope of things, perhaps they aren’t, but you don’t seem to think that as you hang on each word. You’re absorbed in his story about trying to dismantle towers in a hilichurl camp, and gasp at the mention of their reinforcements coming to attack in the midst of it. Wow, you remark after he finishes his recounting of the event. You’re amazing, Bennett!

His heart does a flip again at the sound of his name and he shrugs offhandedly. He’s not inclined to think so, but your awed comment is sincere and has him reconsidering: yeah, that was pretty cool of him, wasn’t it? For all his clumsiness, he doesn’t often see the feats for what they are, accompanied by blunders or not, but you’re the fresh perspective he’d been missing, and he wishes you’d stepped into his life sooner.

The entirety of your outing together has thus far been free of any monsters, but as soon as Bennett makes this observation it’s like the universe has heard: hydro slimes suddenly pop out from the ground, halting you in your tracks. You squeak in surprise and Bennett is quick to shift into a fighting stance, knees slightly bent and one arm out in front of you protectively.

“Just stay there!” he instructs before drawing his sword and rushing forward.

Luckily there aren’t many slimes to fight off, and they aren’t very big. His sword cuts through them easily, cleanly. They burst and spray water upon being sliced apart, so at the end, when they’re all dead, the only evidence they had been there to begin with is the slight dampness to his clothes and the squish of dirt turned to mud. With a sigh of triumph, Bennett resumes a relaxed stance, then sheathes his weapon and turns to you.

As instructed, you’ve stayed in place, but it seems to have been more out of being frozen in fear than anything else. You’re clutching your basket close, and once the slimes are gone, you follow Bennett’s lead and relax, shoulders releasing the tension they had been filled with for the duration of that fight. You let out a deep exhale of relief, hand placed over your heart which has yet to slow back down to its normal pace.

“Thank you.”

Bennett flashes a toothy grin and waves his hand as if to say It’s not a problem. “That’s what I’m here for isn’t it?”

You smile back. “I’m glad we went together.”

Together. He likes the sound of that. He thinks to himself that he’d go with you to other places too; you need only to give the word. To the edge of this world, and through a portal to the next? He’d meet you by the front gate at dawn.

He’s surprised that the encounter with those slimes had gone as smoothly as it had. It isn’t uncommon for him to get hit a few times, bruises quick to form on his arms or his legs. And it’s quite the run of luck, of which he’s ordinarily in short supply, that he should get through a fight with nary a scratch on him while with you. His efforts to impress are actually succeeding.

However, this is another case of speaking too soon, because he starts to walk back to you, but then his foot gets caught on a rock concealed by the tall grass, and he tumbles to the ground.

“Oof!”

His chest collides with the earth as he lands with a thud and the breath is stolen from his lungs. You gasp and close the gap between you, and in viewing you in his peripherals, he notes that you are much more graceful at it.

“Are you all right?”

Bracing his hands on the dirt, small bits of rock digging into his palms, Bennett pushes himself up to sit on his knees. “Yeah, I’m okay!” Here he thought he had handled himself perfectly well, but then just like that, his clumsiness returned, and once more before you he is awkward, blundering Bennett.

Unlike the incident at the bakery when he’d bumped his head into the tray, this fall had actually hurt, and he can’t hide it successfully, a slight wince of pain crossing his face in spite of his smile. Even if you hadn’t caught on to that, the injuries elsewhere on his body give it away completely.

“Your arms are all scraped up…” After Bennett stands back up, you gingerly take hold of his forearm and angle it to examine the scrapes there, thin red lines from tiny stones tearing the skin.

Your grip is light, like you’re scared to injure him further, and Bennett is thankful for the darkness that is setting in as the sun disappears and the moon begins its trek across the sky, for it conceals the way his cheeks redden to be this close to you, to be touched by you. The concern in your gaze as you look at his arm makes his chest squeeze but not in the good way, and he bends his knees slightly to duck into your line of view.

“Don’t worry! I’m fine.” And it’s true. He’s sustained worse, though he steers clear of sharing this part. He doesn’t like to see you worried.

He straightens up when you finally meet his eyes and dons his smile again, easy and reassuring. It seems to convince you, as you nod and let go. He drops his arm back down to his side but he’s already missing the feather-light sensation of your fingertips. Successfully reassured, your smile also returns, replacing the thin line of worry that your lips had previously been set in.

It’s dark now but the air is still warm, a consequence of the season. In the daytime the heat is more extreme, made even more so by the fire curling from the edge of his sword. At the conclusion of whatever commission he has taken, he’s left sweating, satisfied but exhausted. Missions in the summer are more difficult to get through, the sun beating down with little mercy and its heat lingering into the night, but he thinks that if he were to have you there with him, he’d hardly notice.

Your delicate gaze is the cool ocean breeze and your soft smile the deluge of waves washing over him, a force he receives gladly because he is falling into you, deeper into the expanse of your heart. He’s diving into the sea, the unbearable heat of summer long forgotten as he makes his way to the bottom. What he hopes to find he isn’t sure, but he’d be content to remain there forever, consumed by you and all the love you have to offer.

“Okay?” he asks, voice soft. You had nodded but he also wants verbal confirmation that you won’t burden yourself with worry anymore.

You catch on to his own need for reassurance, and he wants to sink into the refreshing fondness of your eyes as you watch him. “Okay.”

The moon up above illuminates your face, and he wants to run his fingers along all the parts it touches: the line of your cheekbones, the bridge of your nose, the cupid’s bow of your lips. He yearns to be closer to you than that moonlight adorning your skin, and maybe it’s strange that he should be envious of it, of that light which has the privilege to hold you so near, but the feelings he has for you are what’s written about in books, and in those stories, people do tend to do strange things.

In the morning, he stops by the bakery as usual but this time is surprised when you set a cake down alongside the other baked goods he buys. You answer his question before he can voice it.

“For yesterday,” you state simply. “For my hero.”

Your—?

“I think ‘hero’ is too strong a word for it,” Bennett replies, chuckling quietly and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. After all, they had just been slimes.

You hum noncommittally, corner of your mouth lifted in a grin. “Maybe, but yesterday you were mine. So please take this as thanks.”

He’d like to be yours every day, and the thought of how nice that would be makes his whole world just a little brighter, like the crystal butterflies fluttering around him in the wild on the warm summer nights; and he hopes that the next adventure the wind guides him on leads straight back to you.

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