#its so amazing how our brains work and give us so many ideas and how we can just put those into words on onto a canvas for other people

[cloudcountry]

thank you to the three people that tagged me in the twst author spotlight ^^ irene, siren, and sapphy, thank you. i read what you said about me and i was very touched. i didnt think i would gain so many friends in such a short period of time, and you all deserve to be recognized for your contributions to the twst community!! :D

EVERYONE LOOK AT MY FRIENDS.

@tinyletterz, who has a beautiful soul and amazing writing. i've known her since my baby days on quotev writing for a fandom which shall not be named, and it's so such a pleasure being her friend. she writes twst x reader content and has a gorgeous series about flower languages that i think about a lot. thank you remy for helping me get accustomed to tumblr, you're the og!!

@shkrmpp, who was my first mutual that i'd never met before here. thank you for asking about jellyfish and being such a bubbly presence on my dash. shrimpy writes x reader content and creates adorable art!! their hair dye series with the leech twins is super cute and i find myself thinking about teh floyd part in particular very often ^^

@fukashiin, with the prettiest themes and the gorgeous art style. winou CONSISTENTLY writes absolute bangers that make me so giddy. this one in particular is one of my favorites, and her writing style reminds me of a soft summer breeze. she's such a bubbly person and its so fun talking to her, even if we don't talk often. ^^ she's one of the three people that keeps my deuce content afloat.

one could say many things about the beloved @hisui-dreamer!! from the way she adores her friends to teh way she writes, rinna is always soft and sweet. she radiates comfort and is such a soothing person, i feel so safe around her. she writes x reader content and every single piece is its own masterpiece. she's one of my closest friends on here and i wish nothing but the best for her every day.

@merotwst, who has a bucnh of adorable oc content (on @meromessy !!) and writes x readers!! ellie in on haitus right now takinga well deserved break. <3 but she writing is amazing and i am FLOORED whenever i see her art!!! it's literally so gorgeous and i don't understand how she does it. its crazy. how is so much talent in one person.

@siren-serenity is not only a lovely author of x reader content, but also a lovely friend. ^^ siren also has an oc named melody who is so cool!!!! she was the pastor at my wedding and fought TOOTH AND NAIL for that position LMAO love u renren!!! she really writes azul SUPER WELL and im so happy to have met someone so calm and soothing to talk to.

@officialdaydreamer00, aka nutmeg, is a rascal. an absolutely rascal but they're really the best. they have a yuusona with LORE and a bunch of really creative & cute events!! seriously nutmeg, nobody does it like you. if you want to see our favorite twst boys in strawberry dresses or recieve a pair of cute earrings, irene's blog is the place for you!!!

@the-v-lociraptor has STELLAR art. she was one of my firts mutuals on twst tumblr and i was terrified of talking to people but her vibes were very much "i am nice you dont need to be afraid" and sniffling scared me was like "OKAY I CAN TALK TO YOU" LMAO but yeah. she draws people so,,, full. thats the only word i can use to describe it. they just look s soft and alive and its really so amazing. i love her art so much!!

@siphoklansan is another artist!! i think about the art she drew from loona's heart attack with twst character weekly basically. it has been stuck in my brain since i started following her. sippy, its trully beautiful how you mix your culture and your art together. i remember you talking about it when you were drawing fairy gala stuff and it was just stunning. please keep doing what you're doing!! i hope your hiatus proves restful <3

@ceruleancattail is one of THE most creative writers i have ever met on this platform. every time i check out their account theyre talking about a new au or doing something different. they write x reader stuff and ar ethe biggest cater kisser ever (even if they wont admit it hehe!!) their writing is so refreshing, if that makes sense. their butler au is so goofy whaahwwahwah

@moonlit-midnight has the prettiest writing style :((( hannah is literally so sweet and it shows in everything you can find on this blog. THIS BLOG HAS PLATONIC FICS TOO!!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?????? and even better, they're inspired by hannah's own friendships :((( literally the most wholesome thing. you can find x reader's here!!!

@iseethatimicy is an x reader writer and fellow azul kisser!!! she writes some really cute stuff for oour favorite silly little cephalopod AND AND AND AND HAS SOME OCS!!! THATA ARE SUPER COOL!!!!! shimiko and icy are both so cool and interesting 9EVEN THOUGH IM VERY SHIMIKO BIASED AAAAA I LOEV SIREN TROPES !!!!!)

@ryker-writes IS SO KIND. he gave me the sweetest set of flowers for his garden event :(( i still think about them and aaaaa i havent forgotten when he fought me over me being cool LMAO so goofy wahhwaawh!! HIS OC JAXON AND RIDDLE ARE LITERALLY SO CUTE :((( he writes x reader content & makes oc content!!!

@totallymem3 draws occasionally and omgggg meme's art is gorgeous. HAVE YOU SEEN HER DRAW AZUL. her art is so soft and its honestly adorable :(( meme is such a nice mutual too!!! like i met her on anon a while ago we've been besties ever since fr. HER ART REMINDS ME OF SPRING GO CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!!!!!

@z3llous is SO TALENTED!!!! another mutual that im liek WOW how do you exist??? he creates the most stunning twst fanart :((( THE OCTAVINELLE BIAS IIS SO REAL AND SO SO OBVIOUS BUT WOW.....WOW IS IT GOOD. zell is also a game developer and if you like cute little kitties and adventure games you should totally try it out here!!!

@cecilebutcher MAKES THE BEST OCS. creator of igor and saver of the universe. im not kidding igor saved the universe IDC WHAT YOU SAY ITS CANON TO ME. cece i sliterally the sweetest and soososososo creative i am eating up every crumb of igor content i get fed. OM NOM NOM. ofc junto is nice too and hes so sweet!!! GAHH you just put so much love and care into yoru ocs its so admirable :((((

@ang33333333l is another azul kisser that i became mutuals with a while ago!!! dolls love for sebek and azul is very sweet to see and her yuusona fauna is adorable too!! she also draws her yuu and characters sometimes!! :D she doesn't have a lot of oc content up on dolls blog yet but im looking forward to seeing more!! >:D

@leonistic deserves the most underrated writer of the year award. soru writes x reader content and is another super sweet mutual of mien (I KNOW IM SAYING THAT A LOT OKAY.) she writes aroace content and its literally feeds me. seriously. their aroace azul content makes me giggle and kick my feet and GAHHHHH !!! plus they have the patient to do matchups which is crazy and i love them for that ^^

@rains-asleep is the nickname master because he calls me straubs and thats such an adorable nickname :(((( HIS WRITING IS SUPER CUTE AND IT GIVE SME SO MUCH SEROTONIN (they write x readers btw!!!!!) they recently hit 500 followers (CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!!) and they also write for haikyuu, mha, genshin impact, and obey me!!!

@shinysparklesapphires is an artists that has a lot of cool ocs!! i believe navi was the first one i was introduced to and he's such an icon ^^ sapphy is also really into precure and produces a lot of content for the fandom!! i have yet to finish the precure series she recommended to me but its good so far and laura is the best so true!!

@datboredpencil has THE most STUNNING art. if you want idia x cater content this is DEFINITELY THE BLOG FOR YOU!!! each piece has so much love poured into it and i swear. YOURE ALWAYS LIEK "its a work in progress" BUT IT STILL LOTS SO LOVELY :((( YOUR USE OF COLOR IS JUST SO MUAH!!! CHEFS KISS!!!!!!! I ADORE IT

@twistwonderlanddevotee makes really pretty backgrounds!!! i actually used the isaac one she made for my private account AND ITS SO CUTE I LOVE IT I WANT TO EAT IT SWALLOW IT WHOLE MUNCH ON IT SHAKE IT AROUND LIEK A DOG TOY ANYWAYS. i am very normal about sofia's backgrounds. PLEASE GO CHECK THEM OUT its literally so unique?? like who else makes backgroudns liek sofia. Nobody.

@queen-shiba has an open inbox everyone!! you're welcome to send in requests!!! ^^ the queen of savanaclaw makes oc content for chuki, a really sweet kid taht deserves all the cookies in teh world :((( ALSO!!! she has an au for the tsavo man-eaters which is super cool!!! :O she passion for lions and tigers really is admirable and its nic eto see her talk about them :3

@beeirdos-buzzing-bogaloo has a gift when it comes to making ocs!! thule remains my favorite of the ones he has talked about because his design is just so neat!!! I LOVE THAT HIS NICKNAME FROM ROOK IS "MONSIEUR STARGAZER" :((( you have so many ocs that i havent even heard about yet...so im super curious to see what else you put out!!!

@dove-da-birb IS SUCH A GENIUS. they're one of my closests friends and their writing is SO BEAUTIFUL. they're also kidn of a little shit though so watch out /aff tehy write x reader content and draw sometimes, although i dont think theyve posted any of them. ^^ dove is SUCH a delight i promise you'll have fun every single time you talk to them. their energy is infectious and im genuinely really glad im the main target for their chaos. i would not have it any otehr way.

@ashipiko has such delicious art!!! the colors are always so vibrant and the way she draws is so unique. truly, a staple of both the twisted wonderland and as3! fandoms!! her energy is always upbeat and cheery, its hard not to smile when youre talking to her!! truly the biggest ace kisser on thsi platform (probably in the world too hehe)

@shyhaya writes for a myriad of fandoms!!!!!! hayami writes an azul thing for me that made me lose my mind IT WAS SO GOOD. PLEASE check out this blog. you wont regret it. requests are open!! ^^ even twst content aside, im sure you'll find something you like sich haya writes for so many fandoms!! talk about multitalented :3

@thehollowwriter has so many gems. quinn writes every character in twst so well, teh writing is so immersive and just ughhhh MUAH!!!!! every piece with azul in it is such a banger and it makes me giggle and kick my feet :3 LITERALLY THERE IS SO MUCH X READER FLUFF AND ITS ALL GOOD ITS A CRIME I DIDNT FIND THIS BLOG SOONER.

@cyath, who has some of the PRETTIEST art i have EVER seen. they draw stuff based on my fics all of the time and i adore it so much. examples of their art can be found here, here, here, and here. do you understand what i mean. do you get it. their art style is SUPERIOR and i ADORE IT!!!!!! they truly have so much talent like damn save some for the rest of us hello!!!!!

@crheativity writes twst x readers!! she's a beginner writer so PLEASE PELASE SHOW HER SOME LOVE!!! right nwo she has some heartslabyul content that i havent gotten around to reading yet but i am SUPER excited to go through them when i get the chance!!! rhea is super fun to talk to hehe <3

and lastly, @jade-s-nymph who organized this whole thing!!! rubia is on hiatus right now but i've seen some of her projects and a few of the things she's written and they're all really good!! there's a lot of x reader content on her writing blog and self indulgent nymphleech content on her personal blog :3

[saintvainglorious]

My First Fanbind! A Black Sails Fic Anthology Series

It took me a year (and a lot of anxious research) before I worked up the courage to bookbind fanfiction, and after months of on-again-off-again work, my first fanbind is finally done!

I knew that if I was going to bookbind fic, I had to bind something from the Black Sails fandom, aka the fandom and show that have had the biggest impact on my life. Y'all, I almost went into academia to study slavery in the 17th-18th century Caribbean because of this show - when folks say this show rewires your brain chemistry, they are NOT kidding. THEE show of all time. Happy 10th anniversary to Black Sails! This fandom is small but mighty. May we continue to get our hearts and souls blasted to smithereens by this show for many years to come.

Ao3 abounds with magnificent Black Sails oneshots, so I decided to put together an anthology of my favorite Silverflint fics under 20k, which I split into two volumes. Included are works by @justlikeeddie, @vowel-in-thug, @balloonstand, @annevbonny, @francisthegreat, @nysscientia, and more! Thank you, thank you all, you brilliant wonderful people, for gracing the Internet with such amazing writing. When I read the fics in these anthologies I want to fling myself into the sun.

More on the design and binding process below the cut!

Vol. 1 Page Count: 270 (12 fics) Vol. 2 Page Count: 248 (11 fics) Body Font: Sabon Next LT (10.5 pt) Title Font: Goudy Old Style Other Fonts: IM Fell English, pirates pw

The typeset (which I did in Word) took a while, mainly because I'd never done it before. Manually adjusting the hyphenation line-by-line was especially tedious. After making these books, I abandoned Word in favor of InDesign, in large part because InDesign gives you way finer control over your justification and hyphenation settings.

Regarding my actual design choices, I'm happy with how the ocean motif on the title page turned out (it's not the same pattern as my endpapers, but they're complimentary) and I'm very fond of my divider dingbats, which are little swords! Goudy Old Style was a fun title font to use, since it's the font that Black Sails uses as its logo. The stories in Vol. 1 are divided into parts based on what Silver WAS at that point in the show (cook, quartermaster, or king), and Vol. 2 is split up into comedies, histories (AUs set in the canon universe) and tragedies - befitting Black Sails' Shakespearean ~vibes~.

I stuck to a flatback binding, as I wasn't feeling quite ambitious enough to try rounding and/or backing. I've learned that I ~Anakin Skywalker voice~ hate sanding, enjoy folding/sewing, and don't LIKE edge trimming but enjoy the results enough to make it worth it.

The real adventure was decorating the cover, which remained bare for months. After agonizing over Illustrator and experimenting unsuccessfully with HTV and lokta paper embossing, I ultimately turned to using stencil vinyl to paint on the designs. There was a bit of seepage under some of the stencils, but I was able to scrape off the excess with my Cricut weeding tool without damaging the coated surface of the bookcloth (probably Arrestox Blue Ribbon from Hollander's). Even though it was very time-consuming, I'm so happy with the end result of the stenciled paint job and I intend to stick with stencils for my foreseeable future binds.

Are there things I would change? Sure. It was humid out when I printed, so the pages have got a wave. There’s an extra two pages in Vol 2. that I have no idea how I missed, and I got a line of glue in the middle of one of my Vol. 2 endpapers. I’m pretty sure I didn’t case in quite right, since my endpapers pull away from the case at the spine. I think the inner margins are a bit too big, and despite going line-by-line there’s still some wacky justification spacing in the typeset. But man, am I proud of these books! It is so satisfying to learn a new skill - MANY new skills, if we’re being honest - and to make something both beautiful and practical. If I’m still binding in two years or so, I can see myself redoing the typeset in InDesign, cutting out the existing text block, and reusing the cases. I’m also already planning for Vol. 3, which will be Silverflint Modern AUs.

Thanks for reading!

[cripplecharacters]

What would be your most general suggestions in order to write a character with intellectual disability respectfully and accurately? It’s hard to find many first hand accounts of people with IDs writing about what they’d like to see in these characters.

Hi, thanks for your question!

I will try to give a few general dos and don’ts on how to make an ID character - the question is vague so I won't be too specific but I hope you find something here helpful! First of all: please keep in mind that ID people are very different from each other in both personality and how exactly their disability impacts them. Some people won't be able to perform any ADLs (short for activities of daily living; things like bathing, dressing, using the bathroom or eating by yourself), some will be able to do all of them and a lot will be somewhere in-between. That makes it more complicated to figure out what is accurate and what not because it just varies greatly between people. Even people similar ability levels can be completely different - they can have different verbality levels, different physical conditions, some of them could be very stubborn while others could be the complete opposite and give up very fast, you get the picture.

What to do while writing:

Seems very obvious but make sure they're an actual character and not just their disability - give them a personality, relationships, hobby etc.

Portray the common signs of ID - a lot of us struggle with things like planning (especially long-term), organizing, abstract reasoning, problem-solving or are just slower with understanding/doing things in general. It's fine for your character to need help and ask for help with those things! They don't need to compensate for it with savant-like abilities or some amazing feats, it's ok for them to just be a regular person who struggles in some or most areas and gets adequate help so they can function better.

A lot of people with ID struggle with understanding language that isn't clear or simplified. Very elaborate sentence structure or weird wording can make it hard or impossible for your character to correctly understand what is spoken to them so if you want your characters to communicate properly they should probably use more clear speech. That doesn't mean babytalk or only giving them the bare minimum - try looking at this simplified version of this article to get an idea of what I mean (both links lead to Wikipedia). Simpler sentence structure and more common words make things more accessible.

Give your character agency over their identity and feelings. We can struggle with understanding things, but it doesn't mean we can't be gay, trans or any other LGBTQ+ identity and it's not fair to question our ability to do so. A person with ID should be able to decide about things regarding themself. Even if your character requires 24/7 care, they (ideally) should be able to have a say in who will be their caregiver, for example.

Getting someone's high needs met is not infantilization, it's just care. A character that needs help with bathing themself isn't "bad representation" or being treated like a child just because of it.

Make sure you look up how ID works medically so you don't commit any basic medical misinformation (like having it start in adulthood). Specifically look out to not confuse brain injury symptoms with ID. ID also doesn't directly affect someone's life expectancy on its own.

Connected to the last point, but you might want to try and decide on the cause of why the character has ID just because it will probably make your job as a writer a bit easier with figuring out what specific symptoms they might be experiencing. Someone who has ID because they went through severe meningitis as a little child might have different symptoms than someone born with Rett Syndrome. There are a lot of conditions that cause ID, but the most common are Down Syndrome, FASD and Fragile X Syndrome.

Try to remember: people with intellectual disability can be anyone and be anywhere! You can write a sarcastic autistic princess with ID, a loud love interest with Angelman Syndrome or a shy goth classmate with CRS and none of these would be “forced”.

What to NOT do:

Avoid the “always happy” character trope (goes double or even triple for characters with Down Syndrome because that's where it's the most prevalent). This one is a real issue with how people see real life intellectually disabled people. A character with ID should be allowed to have a full range of emotions just like everyone else.

Don't use the mental age theory - it's an ableist and harmful concept that claims that people with ID are mentally X years old (X never being their actual age). A 40-year-old character who can't eat or bathe by themself is 40 years old, not 3.

Avoid having your character compensate for their ID with some specific type of intelligence ("they're not booksmart but they have high emotional intelligence!) because that's neither how this works or what is helpful when it comes to representation. Your character shouldn't have to be smart "in some way" to be treated with respect.

Don't make your character extremely violent or brutal, especially if they're also unaware of what they're doing (basically don't make your character Lennie from of Mice and Men). I feel like this one is mostly about the impact on how some people see ID people (especially ID men of color) by painting them as inherently violent which is not true. That's not to say your character can't get into a fight but just try to be aware of this trope, especially if your character is marginalized in other ways as well.

Most people who seek any advice regarding writing disabled characters will probably know that using the r-slur is a big no, but words like moron, imbecile, feeble-minded or idiot also come directly from outdated medical terminology regarding intellectual disability. Personally, I'm very much against using them without acknowledging their origin and they can be genuinely upsetting to read.

Sorry it came out so long! I tried to put together both very basic advice and some more complex points so hopefully as much people as possible can take something away from this. If you have any more specific questions feel free to send another ask. good luck with your writing ❤️ (heart emoji)

mod sasza

[akwolfgrl]

LFT PART 38

Sanji wound down the street, hands full of bags. He may have gone a little overboard while shopping. He wore a new shirt the Nami had insisted he get. It had multiple colored fishes all over it, a favorite of the new shirts he had. None of the fishes were realistic but they were still cute.

Sanji wandered over to the fish market checking if there was anything he hadn't already spotted when he noticed a large crowd. He slid through the crowd of people stopping at the front as some fishermen discussed their catch.

“Amazing, that's an elephant bluefin tuna!”

“That's right it probably got mixed in from the south sea, I caught it with a pole and line.”

“A pole and line? No way get outta here!” People laughed but Sanji had tuned the other men out.

“Elephant bluefin tuna,” Sanji would pay whatever the price to get that fish. He remembered looking at it in his second favorite book when he was younger with Zeff. He of course had packed that book and kept it in the galley. The fish was absolutely beautiful, its dark blue scale and silver underbelly, the two tusks coming up from about its large lips, and its long athena. “How much for the fish!” Sanji called out, stepping forward.

“Ahh, what parts of it are you looking to buy?” The fishermen who caught the fish asked.

“All of it, I can take it apart myself. I'll use every part of that beautiful fish,” he gushes excitedly.

“Ahh are you a cook?”

“Chef, I used to work at the Baratie,” he states offhandedly, trying to show pride but still remain humble.

“That fish shaped place, I knew I recognized ya! Love that place's great food and there's alway a fight to watch. I'll tell ya what I'll give you a good deal.”

He had so many ideas buzzing around in his brain. Such a good quality of fish could be eaten raw or cooked. He could make stock from its bones, soup from the head, he was dying to try the bone marrow or spinal jelly.

“Fantastic!”

“Yah if you want we can deliver it to your boat of want? I've got plenty more to look at, at my booth if you'll follow me,” he offered.

“That would be great actually.”

“That's a big ass fish,” Zoro's voice came outta nowhere right next to his ear.

“Shit!” Sanji jumped; he had been so focused on his new fish that he didn't hear him arrive. “When did you get here?” Sanji asked him.

“I noticed you drooling over that big ass fish and came over around the time that guy said he recognized you,” Zoro replied, shrugging slightly to cover a chuckle. “So what are you even gonna make with it?”

“Well I have lots of plans, for today I need to see who all had lunch and see how much sushi I should make, this is a great quality fish so it can be eaten raw. Then of course I want to extract the spinel jelly, I've heard it's delicious,” Sanji was eager to talk about his plans as they walked to the fishermen's booth.

“I like sushi, Luffy and I already had lunch, but we all know Luffy could eat more,”

“How did you pay for it?”

“Some guy in a cloak paid for us, I've just had the best of luck today,” Zoro gave his blond man once over and smirked. “I'm hoping that luck continues tonight.”

“Hmmm,” Sanji pretended he had to think about it, but he too was looking forward to tonight. “I'll tell you what, help me with the dishes and maybe you will,” Sanji began to browse the selection picking out what he wanted.

“I'll also have to think about that, might interrupt my nap time,” Zoro taunted back, only causing Sanji to huff and roll his eyes.

“You and your naps, Marimo,” Sanji handed over the money for his purchases. “Our ship is the Going Merry; its figurehead is shaped like a sheep, pier 40.”

“Do you like alcohol? My wife makes mead and I have some for sale,” the man offers with a gentle smile at the pair.

“Got anything that's not sweet?” Zoro asked.

“Yah, this strawberry one is pretty dry, also a Ginger Matcha Mead, and a Cranberry Mead,” he offers.

“I'll take them all,” Zoro also paid for his mead, happy to not only have two new swords to tame and some hopefully good homemade mead with his (hopefully) boyfriend. “Ready to go curly?”

“Yah, should we find the others?”

“All right,” he states with a shrug. As they turn to go, Zoro brushes his fingertips against Sanji’s, the cook barely keeping their hands touching in some form. It made Zoro’s chest feel warm, everything was going good for him right now.

[storyofmychoices]

I know I'm a little late on this one, but I couldn't let the event pass with out catching up. There are so many incredible people that deserve a shout out and recognition not just during this event, but always. I wish I could truly tag every single person in this fandom, whether we've interacted or not. Every single person in this fandom matters. We might be small, but we have endured so much together. I am grateful to be on this journey with all of you.

This post is dedicated to all the amazing people who host or have hosted events this year! Thank you for all you do for our fandom to encourage creativity and promote creative works!

Shout out to @choicesficwriterscreations, @jerzwriter, @cfwcmod-lucy for not only keeping CFWC going, but growing it! You've done so much to promote creators in this fandom: writers, editors, now artists! Your database is a blessing to all of us and your love and support through is greatly appreciated. And if all that wasn't enough, you host so many amazing events to inspire us too! Thank you so much for all you've done for this community. I can't say enough about how wonderful you are!!!

Shout out to @choicesprompts, @choicesholidays, @moodmusicmonday, @choicesflashfics, @choicespride for hosting events to inspire the fandom. Your dedication in celebrating and promoting creators in this fandom does not go unnoticed. I know I haven't been able to participate as much as I would have liked lately, but I am grateful that you keep going and I hope that you are receiving the love you deserve for all you do. Thank you!!

Thank you to everyone who hosted a monthly challenge this year! I am grateful to have so many wonderful fandom friends who have hosted a month so that I don't drive myself crazy trying to do them all! You have no idea how grateful I am to you for your help in keeping creators inspired! I hope I don't miss anyone: @liaromancewriter, @lucy-268, @peonierose, @jerzwriter, @peonyblossom, @lilyoffandoms, @midnightmelodiz , @lorirwritesfanfic

Shoutout to those who host character and/or book appreciation days/weeks! You are amazing!!! There are so many incredible books and characters and its wonderful to see people show up to support them and give them a little more love during those events! I am going to list some, but I am sure I'm missing others, please know that is not to dismiss your event, it's just my brain not remembering all of them at the moment. Please know if your event is not listed it's nothing against you! (if I missed you let me know and I'll add you!)

@lilyspencerappreciationweek, @kiaratheronappreciationweek , @hanaleeappreciationweek, @kingliamappreciationweek, @sloanewashingtonappreciationweek, @haydenyoungappreciationweek, @drake-walker-appreciation , @maxwell-beaumont-appreciation, @ila-appreciationweek, @openheartappreciationweek , @tobias-carrick-appreciation-week ,

Shoutout to @lilyoffandoms for hosting Writer Appreciation Month! That was such a lovely and beautiful event. It was so nice to see writers come together to support each other and support writers that might be new to them. It was such an amazing event! Thank you for leading it for us! You're the very best!

Shoutout to @openheartfanart and @openheartfanfics for keeping up with the amazing works dedicated to Open Heart! The book may be long gone, but thanks to you our fandom is still going strong! I know that it's a lot of work to keep up with it all, please know you are appreciated!

Shoutout to everyone who has participated in any of the above events or any of the ones I've hosted! Without you, there would be none of these amazing events, so please know that your participation matters! You are the best and we are lucky to have all of you!!!

@choicesfandomappreciation

[writingwithfolklore]

I feel horrible for using paraphraser tools to enhance my writing. If i don't use it then i kinda hate my writing. Please help.

Hi there.

I'm so sorry you feel this way! The first thing you should do is take a step back and breathe. You're not a bad writer, and you're not a bad person for using AI tools. Read that over until you begin to believe it.

I want you to feel happy and proud of your writing as it is, so let's work on that piece.

I don't think there's many writers out there that are completely happy with their work. I have times when I'm writing that I think I must be the worst writer in the world. Writing is so contained and individual--it's not like getting better at basketball until you can almost always guarantee a basket. There's nothing to really tell you you're getting better, or that your writing is 'good'.

That makes it difficult--it also means we have to rely on our own intuition to give us the answers, and your brain is always going to be so much harder on your work than anyone else.

So even if you can't yet say 'it's good', try saying 'it's not as bad as I think'. And remember that no matter how 'bad' you think it is, it can always get better--every draft you do will be better.

For more practical suggestions on feeling more confident in your work, I have to suggest something scary: share it with others--but with others you trust, who you know will support you. As scary as it is, sharing my drafts with others helps me feel much prouder of it, and also gives me agency in making it better. As well, if you trade work with other writers around your experience level, you can see how writing differs--and how that doesn't make one better or worse.

My writing friend and I have been writing for about the same amount of time and have been trading work for over a decade now. She's so ingrained in my writing journey, and yet we write wildly different things in wildly different styles. Her work isn't better or worse than mine, just different.

My other suggestion is to write what you love, and to not put any pressure on it. Write for fun, for yourself. Write like no one will ever read it, and then share it anyway. Write like the ideas are more important than the words. Try not to analyze it to death, just let it breathe, and let it be what it is. There will be time later for editing and scaling back if you want. Or not. Up to you.

Then, acknowledge the parts of your writing that you really love--the things you know you've got down. Celebrate the sentences that come out good, and forgive the sentences you don't love as much. Sometimes it helps me to pretend my writing is another living thing--like a child or a beloved pet, so you can look at it in all its flaws and still think it's the greatest thing you've ever done.

Writing does not have to be perfect to be good--it just has to exist and be loved.

And for now, if leaving your writing as it is without using tools makes you feel horrible enough to give up--keep using the tools. Work on using them a little bit less and less with every piece. Remember what I said about telling yourself it isn't as bad as your brain says it is--then graduate to: 'it's decent', 'it's getting there', 'it's good,' 'it's amazing'.

And let me know how it goes. (If you ever want/need to share your work with someone positive and supportive, you can always share it with me--just send me a DM)

Good luck!

[ofbrokendreams]

Everything, everywhere, all at once

This is just a silly little future fic. I just threw all of my ideas into a pot after bingeing The Bear Season 1 (multiple times). Its 10.9 k words total. Its pretty much stream of consciousness because I'm undecided if I'll come back to it later and flesh it out into a real fic. That being said I'm apologizing early for grammar, abundance of commas and general lack of a time line. Hopefully this will bring someone enjoyment and amusement.

Part one is 5.3 k words.

Part two

Part Three

I'll probably cross post this on AO3 at some point. (I did it.)

TW: cursing, discussions of sex, discussions of abuse, discussions of mental health, discussions of drug use, discussion of suicide, depiction panic attack, pregnancy (let me know if I missed anything)

GIF by starryyshadows

EXPO DATE

Sydney walks into The Bear. Service in full swing, full dinner rush with a packed FOH.

Carmy’s at expo running tickets and the count and he’s got an ear out for troubles.

Sydney calls out his name: “Chef. Carm. Carmy. Carmen!” Before he finally answers and glances at her.

His brain stalls out. He called her five times, he texted her SOS. But she’s-

“What are you wearing?” Is the first thing out of his mouth. Taking in the short expensive looking dress and high heels Syd is wearing.

“What the fuck does it look like I’m wearing?” Syd asks with a huff. Carmy shakes his head and gestures toward the line. 

“Why is my restaurant not on fire?” She asks and Carmy stares at her. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “SOS, five fucking calls? What am I talking about? I took the night off! So why isn’t this place burnt to the fucking ground?” “I-I”

He looks away for a moment as a dish is set down and then back to where Syd was but she’s gone. Carmy goes back to his work calling out “Hands!” 

“Give me your jacket,” Sydney demands at his elbow, heels gone and replaced with her Birkenstocks. Carmy stares at her but she gestures for him to hurry up. “Mine’s at home, this is a $300 vintage dress, give me your fuckin-“ he cuts her off with a harsh sigh but does trade her his jacket for the apron in her hand.

They stand side by side for a minute, hands working on auto pilot as Sydney catches up.

“We needed you. Where were you?” “I was on a fucking date, Carmen.”

Syd takes over expo and shoos Carmy away. When he doesn’t leave immediately Sydney snaps. “Get the fuck away from me, go, please go do something else.”

Carmy goes, checks on everyone and then he’s on the line because their down three chefs and that’s the whole reason he called Syd in and its a long fucking night.

After service when it’s just the two of them left Carmy apologizes for calling so many times, ruining her night off. Sydney apologizes for snapping at him.

Carmy mentions, “I didn’t know you were dating.” Syd nods but  doesn’t look at him. 

“I have to…I have to have a life, you know? Get a life. Outside of this place? I can’t…I can’t resent it. I love The Bear and I want to keep loving it.”

“No, thats, that’s totally reasonable.” Carmy nods and Syd smiles. And Carmy’s heart beats erratically. Because he’s losing her. 

He’s fucking losing her and he never even had her. 

And he’s confused because she’s so amazing and beautiful. And he’s himself and how could he think-

He remembers the first time she walked into The Beef and his heart beat like this, ‘oh no she’s pretty’, and all other thought left his mind. And he was asking about UPS like it was a fucking restaurant despite holding her well crafted resume in his hands. But then there was months of work and screaming and quitting and tomato money and The Bear and project managing and baby Mikey and Claire and fucking off and fucking up over and over. 

He has no right to be jealous, Sugar is quick to remind him when he slowly carefully brings it up a couple weeks later. A quick “Pete out,” and they’re alone in her living room. “You’ve had a girlfriend, Bear. Doesn’t Syd get that too? She’s better at this shit. We both know she won’t fuck off like you did.” And it’s so harsh and vulgar and not like Sugar, though it reminds him of ‘did you know I recently had a brother die too’ and it’s gnarly in that same way that cuts him to the quick. So he laughs and nods. 

“But like…think about it, Bear, your feelings, yeah?” And Carmy nods knowing he won’t. That he’ll push whatever this is down and away, far away from where it might touch Syd, taint her with whatever fucks up Berzattos. 

STAR CROSSED SOUL MATES

The Bear receives their star, two in fact in their first year.

And it’s Sydney, her drive, her dish that gets it for them.

He’s not surprised. He’s been doing everything he can to make the way for her but she’s paving it herself. 

Its an honor, a fucking privilege to watch her rise, to watch her recognized.

He’s so crazy in love with her that he can’t imagine being jealous of her even though there’s a part of him that thinks he should be. Carmy’s always been competitive in the kitchen but with Sydney…he just wants to get as many spotlights on her as possible.

It’s strange but it’s how’s its always been. He’s never felt in competition with her but for a moment, that first review that horrible day and it had ended with her leaving The Beef, leaving him.

He thinks about how insanely lucky he is that she came back, that his offer ‘Family style? Two-tops, booths?’ Was answered with anything other than go fuck himself. Instead Syd had given instantly from that wonderful brilliant brain of hers, ‘Danish design’. Not a question.

She’s so talented and beautiful and creative and thoughtful and good, so good at what she does. He wants-needs everyone in their world to see it. To be so fucking jealous of him, of them, that he found her, they found each other.

All those other places that tried to stamp out her spark, fuck them, they’re shit compared to The Bear. Compared to the inferno that is Sydney working at full capacity, supported and challenged. 

Nat’s the first to bring it up, texting him while he’s trying to think of how to bring it up to her.

Sugar: 11:57 pm; she needs to be a partner. Like a real one

Bear: 11:57pm; absolutely 

When they bring it up on Wednesday before shift, the three of them huddled in the office. Syd shyly takes their praise but looks like she might cry when Nat explains that they are making her a part owner of The Bear. Sydney insists that she can’t pay for it but Carmy points out the sweat equity she put into the place. And Syd’s not sure if that’s even right, even how this works but Nat’s got documents from a lawyer, holy shit.

Uncle Jimmy says “Its about fucking fucking time Carm. Thought we’d lose her before you figured that shit out. You know why I said ‘I’m in’? Because you’re fucking talented and she’s fucking talented. And I love you, and you’re not starting from fucked this time. But I will, I will break your legs, Carm.”

And then Sydney’s got an arm full of Berzattos. And she’s really not a hugger but there’s nothing else to do in this case. No words to express how she feels. She’s family, they’re family and this is their place: their family restaurant but for real now.

The whole team parties at the restaurant on the Friday following the Michelin announcement.

Syd goes back to Carmy’s as its closer then taking the train back to her dad’s place.

Its like two in the morning and they have work in the morning.

When they get to the apartment they drunkenly make Mac and cheese. Laughing and cursing when they almost grate their knuckles. Carmy makes the sauce and Sydney’s cackling when he almost scalds it.

“First time?” Syd laughs dumping the cheese in and Carmy pushes her away from the stove. “Jesus Syd its gonna be all- fucked.” Carmy laughs and Syd just shrugs and drains the pasta.

Its good and lumpy like Carmy though but they’re both still to drunk to really care cause its good. 

Cause they’re fucking good, they’re Michelin star chefs, “for real this time, you earned it”, Syd is quick to say when Carmy laughs at her. It sobers him up a little the realization.

Once full and sleepy they head to the couch, with Sydney falling backwards onto it by accident.

Carmy tries to grab her but she’s just giggling not hurt at all. He shakes his head and joins her, looking down at her every once and a while.

They sit side by side like that for a long time even though they should go to sleep. Watching old Good Eats episodes instead.

In a lull, Sydney asks Carmy if he believes in soul mates while pointedly not looking at him.

Carmy thinks for a good minute thinks about saying no right away. Then thinks harder. Thinks of Nat and Pete- Jesus. Then says “Ye-yeah I guess I do.”

Syd’s quiet for a while before saying quietly, “I think you’re my soul mate, Carmen.”

Carmy nods and takes a minute to answer. “I know you’re mine, Sydney.”

They don’t move other then to intertwine their fingers, and the angle is awkward like they are but its nice to hold each other’s hand.

He thinks about how she’s the coolest, lamest, kindest, meanest, funniest, smartest girl he’s ever had the privilege of knowing, of working with. 

Thinks of how she probably thinks of him as a platonic best friend kind of soulmate.

He wonders if that’s what he meant. Platonic. 

He imagines kissing Syd. He imagines touching Syd. He imagines fucking Syd. He imagines making her giggle and squirm and scream and beg. He imagines her holding him down while she rides him, her hands splayed out on his chest her fingers digging into his skin-

He’s going to hell. Like he already knows this but he’s really going to hell.  

At some point Syd falls asleep and Carmy carries her to his bed before heading back to the couch. She grabs his wrist and softly asks him to stay with her, voice sleepy and thick. But he can’t deny her. He can never say no to her. 

ENGAGEMENTS

Its been a long day, the longest day.

New chefs, new menu, old clients and old problems (Cicero) are plaguing Carmy and Syd.

Their still arguing: about Carmy not listening and Syd still being to impatient.

They take refuge for a few minutes behind the restaurant in the alley on the crates where they had their first heart to heart. Their team trusted enough to wrap up without supervision after the last ticket’s gone out.

Carmy’s smoking a cigarette and Syd’s scrolling but not concentrating on her phone.

He shouldn’t be thinking about it. He promised himself that he wouldn’t.

Promised himself that he wouldn’t cross that line. Wouldn’t taint her with whatever makes him turn shit to ash.

But-but-

It’s been like months since she mentioned going on a date or talking to a guy or a girl or anyone. And it’s been…fuck he’s such a piece of shit cause it’s been great for him. 

He doesn’t know what makes him ask. Why his brain jumps to far ahead, skipping every fucking step but it’s what he does. 

Makes a mess of things.

After a few minutes of silence Carmy clears his throat, “You wanna get married, Chef?”

Syd is quiet for a while, a long time it seems. “Yes, Chef. Someday.”

Carmy nods not looking at Syd, eyes on his shoes but not really seeing.

He says in a voice almost to quiet to hear, eyes shut tight now, “I meant to me.”

Syd stands and its a moment before Carmy feels fingers running through his hair, tugging slightly to make him look up. Sydney’s got an unreadable expression on her face but then she smiles, a little sadly but mostly fond. 

“You really do need to learn to listen you know? I said ‘Yes, Chef’.”

“Heard, Chef.” Carmy replies, eyes following as Syd walks back into The Bear.

Carmy casually brings it up to Sugar. He doesn’t really mean to but it’s Monday, their day off, and they’re meeting for coffee and breakfast. He’s late having stopped at a store just before meeting her. “I think Syd and I are engaged.” “I-I didn’t know you were dating?” Carmy shrugs, shakes his head. “I kind of just asked her?” Sugar nods looks at Mikey in his stroller and sighs. “Let me see it.” She says and Carmy pulls the little red box from his pocket. She opens the box and then closes it and hands it back to him. 

“Its good.” Is all she says before their waiter takes their order. 

The next morning Syd comes in early and he’s in the office. He calls her over. “Hey can I get your help?” “Obviously.” Syd laughs joining him in the office. 

He grabs the box and then stands behind her. “I just I need you to hold onto this for me, for a while okay?” He says arms going up and over her head. The gold band with the three small circular diamonds sparkling slightly in the harsh overhead light of their office. 

Sydney’s heart stops she swears it stops but she reaches back to pull her long braids out of the way and he hooks the gold chain around her neck. She fingers the ring now laying on her chest and sighs. Turns around and grabs him by his hair pulling him into a heated messy first kiss. 

BREAK UPS

Things are good for a while. Blissful even. They go to work, go to Carmy’s apartment, eat, make love, sleep, repeat. 

Syd’s basically living at his place now spending one or maybe two nights a week at her dad’s place. She’s had a key to Carmy’s place since week two of this. 

They laugh a lot and joke a lot, or Syd does and makes him smile and laugh and breathe. 

And the sex. So much fucking sex. They’re both insatiable in their own way.  

But nothing lasts forever. 

Syd wants more, needs more. The ring that lays against her skin is like a fucking brand sometimes. It’s all she can think about but they never discuss it. Never even a fleeting question of courthouse or big party? 

She does talk about the future though. Insists on it.

He’s her…fuck he’s hers right? 

But it scares him. He shuts down when she casually mentions moving to the suburbs or having a kid or kids someday. Or if any of that is even something she wants. But it’s all her and he doesn’t join in just humming and nodding. But noncommittally. And it eats at her. 

Sydney’s about fed up. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to handle him anymore. She wants to be all in but he seems content to just be stagnant. 

Outside of the restaurant all they seem to do is fight and ignore each other. They’re so in sync in the kitchen but so disconnected outside of it that it’s jarring. Every night, every phone call, every text is like a bucket of cold water.

Finally after another night of self-flagellation and non-apologies Sydney’s had it.

“I need you to love me more then you hate yourself, Carmen! Or-or this is never going to work.”

Carmy’s quiet for a while and then nods. Agreeing. “You’re right. I’m sorry, you’re right. I can’t-I’m not, you deserve better. You deserve more than this, then what I can give.”

Syd’s panicked as she realizes whats happening. She tries to stop him, to beg him to not do this but Carmy just continues talking over her. 

“So you’re just…giving up? You won’t even consider that you could change? Get better, be better?”

“I-want more for you Syd, I want the world for you and I’m holding you back.”

Syd storms into his bedroom and begins packing her things. She wants to hit him but she won’t so she separates herself.

Carmy waits leaning back against his couch. 

Not thinking about it. Not going over it. 

Dissociating completely. Remembering how it felt in New York, going into work and he was a machine.

When Syd comes back out Carmy starts, “We need to talk about the restaurant.”

Syd scoffs, “Fuck you, Carmen.” “Its important-“ “We were important and you threw that all away.”

Syd leaves back to her dad’s place.

When he finally heads to bed, after standing at the front door for an hour, Carmy looks at the bedside table. There’s her ring on its gold chain and her key with its cheese keychain and-and the stupid fucking lighter she started keeping on her for him. For him. 

This is right though. This is what he needs to do. For her.

She’s to special. He never should have…he messed up and she’s tainted now like he is, unhappy and wounded but she’s stronger than he’s ever been. She’ll bound back and stronger too, he’s no doubt about it.

When Carmy tells Sugar that they broke up she explodes. Demanding an explanation. When Carmy does his best to explain she explodes again. “You are the most selfish asshole I have ever met. I can’t-I’m so ashamed of you, Bear.”

When Carmy asks for her explain as to how and why, Sugar does explain although she doesn’t feel he deserves it. “Instead of listening, instead of doing some self reflection, getting help, going to therapy or something, working on yourself you’ve just decided to do nothing. To change nothing even though you’re hurting Syd.”

“I’m trying not to hurt Syd!” He defends but Sugar’s not having it. “You’re being a martyr. I know…I know you thought it would be you. In the ground by now but it’s not, you’re not dead and you’re not going anywhere. You need to start accepting that, you have a life and you need to live it. And your fucking actions have consequences.”

Its a lesson he’s thinks he’s been taught before with the same result, his selfishness hurting Syd (The Brigade, Claire)

“I don’t deserve her, Natalie.”

“You make-you make Syd happy, you make me happy. People love you, they care about you. And you can’t accept that and you push us all away. And it’s not fucking fair, Carmen. Don’t we deserve to have you? To really have you? We all love you so much and you just…you just reject everyone.”

Carmy stares at her as Mikey gnaws on Carmy’s knuckles, his chubby little fingers wrapped around the S and U tattooed on Carmy’s skin. Mikey looks up and smiles and Carmy thinks he understands.

At Sugar’s insistence Carmy contacts a therapist.

HELP WHEN NEEDED

Carmy’s first few therapy sessions go well. “What are you here for?” Terri asks kindly. And he stares then just starts speaking, “I um…own a restaurant, it used to be my brother’s restaurant, well it used to be my mother’s restaurant and my dad’s before he left. But my brother killed himself and he left it to me and I-I changed it, made it into our dream restaurant.” “That is a lot of changes in what I’m guessing is a short amount of time?” He nods and sighs, “I left home a while ago, just left and worked, I’m a-a cook. And I-my sister I just left her to deal with-with our mom, she’s not well,” and he gently taps his temple. “And Sugar, uh, Natalie, I-I left her to deal with her and-and Mike he was um- he was a drug addict, and I’m going to Al-anon but my sister she said, um one-on-one is better. And our dad was gone. And-and I was with my business partner for a minute and I’m so…I’m so fucking in love with her but I-I left her, I broke up with her because she-she asked me to do something I can’t do and she deserves so much, she’s so amazing and she deserves someone who can give her what she wants-what she needs.” 

“What did she ask of you, Carmen?” “She uh- she asked me to love her more then I hate myself.” “And is that an unreasonable ask?” “No-it’s-it’s what Sugar’s been wanting me to do for years. But I can’t-I don’t-“ “I see, I think we should start there and I have a feeling much of the rest will fall into place.”

Carmy and Syd have an informal non-discussed truce at work. They avoid each other if possible but for the most part work well. 

They do tend to argue more heatedly then ever before when discussing menu changes or really any change to the restaurant. Tina and Marcus discuss, “It’s like…this thing happened and neither of them can move past it or want this place to change past it.”

Richie calls Carmy out after witnessing a particularly rough back and forth. Carmy tells him to get lost but Richie won’t let it go. “This place only fucking works because of the two of you, together. At least for now, with how good she is we’ve only got Syd another year or two and we need her. You need her you fucking idiot.”

Carmy tries coming in early but Syd does the same thing. Alone in the office they hash out their professional issues. Both of them agreeing that they’re having a hard time changing things after the break up, it makes things feel to real. 

They come to an understanding that things need to change, they have to keep going, for themselves, for the restaurant. 

Syd laughs at how reasonable Carmy is. She says she’s proud of him. 

He blushes and nods, “It’s mostly Terri.” “Who’s that?” Syd asks curiously. “My uh…my therapist.” Syd stares at him for a long minute before launching herself at him. He holds her tight as she squeezes him even tighter. They don’t speak but break apart when they hear Nat coming down the hall to the office. Syd’s grinning at him in this new way. He thinks it might be pride. 

Carmy’s getting better. Working through his childhood, his parents (separately), his siblings (separately), his school years, his depression, self harm and avoidance, his years under psychotic chefs (New York especially), Claire and his lack of romantic relationships, his anger (“Ah I understand the nickname: Bear” Terri laughs gently when he explains how explosive he gets sometimes, how stubborn he can be) and Sydney, Sydney, Sydney. 

Terri reminds him often that he can’t be doing this for Sydney.

“She may move on. May see other people, fall in love, get married, have a family, and you need to be okay with that. You need to get healthy for yourself.”

Carmy’s eighty percent sure if Syd found someone else to make her happy he’d be okay with it. If they treated her like the queen she is he could understand.

He’s not even sure how they got here. They’re sitting in their spot behind the restaurant. He’s got a cigarette in his fingers. 

And he asks her, stupidly, about the future. And it’s gets a little heated but nothing to bad; they’re not at each other’s throats. Its like a real adult discussion. “It’s just…you were talking white picket fences and-and the American dream, 2.5 kids and a minivan-“ “You have like- you drive a mini van-” “And its just- that’s not me, and I wasn’t going to hold you back from your dreams. From what you want.” “I wanted you, Carmen. I wanted…any house in the suburbs I wanted because it would be our home. Any kids I wanted was because they would be our kids, your kid. I didn’t-I don’t…that’s what I wanted. I wanted us but you-you just decided for me, Carm. And-and that’s not fair, is it?” Carmy shakes his head and looks at her, watches her get up and walk back into The Bear. 

He hadn’t ever considered that, that she might not be wanting the whole perfect family thing but just…a family with-with him. 

So no, it wasn’t fair. 

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Carmy’s trying to be there for everyone more. Encouraging Marcus and Tina and Ebraheim and the freshman. Getting to know them like he knows the old crew. Getting to know the old crew even better. 

The Bear is running better then he ever could have imagined. There are no quiet nights, they’re booked every night with a waiting list three weeks out. Both their food and their stars drawing customers in. They’re on track to pay Cicero back and Nat and baby Mikey are doing so well. 

He and Syd have probably never been so in sync. They work out the spring menu in a couple of hours rather then the days they predicted before starting to test recipes. Even the things that don’t turn out inspire them. 

They always test at the restaurant now, before shift or after. Never at his apartment like they used to and Carmy misses the closeness, the intimacy of it just being the two of them in his apartment. He doesn’t bring it up though. 

Doesn’t dwell on it until Syd kind of invites herself over. She’s been texting him all morning on a Monday, all morning, about this new idea and she’s at the market now getting shit. And he just thumbs up her text then sends, “I’m out of creamer.”  She shows up half an hour later laden with grocery bags and in one is her favorite coffee creamer. 

It’s kind of a thing after that. They go back to his place after work almost every night to keep working. And Syd sleeps in his bed while he takes the couch. And it’s so close to normal. 

And he’s fucked cause this should be normal but it’s not its really not. 

Normal is holding her and kissing her and laughing at her mean jokes and making love to her until the sun is coming up and they both know they’ll say they regret it but they won’t. 

But he keeps going in this new normal, what anyone else would say is normal, not kissing her. 

It feels inevitable. One of their blow out fights. They both try to head it off, signing ‘I’m sorry’ early in service. Tina’s on her game, commanding the freshman but Marcus is losing focus. His sous is on it but they’re to busy for this. And Syd snaps and that’s not like her. Not at all. And poor Marcus is upset now and Syd’s apologizing but she’s flustered and making it worse almost. Carmy calls her back to expo and takes over with Marcus. Getting him out of the weeds. But then Carmy’s on Tina and Syd’s annoyed, cause Tina will fuck him up and it’s the last thing they need tonight. Syd doesn’t mean to but she calls him out, voice loud across the kitchen and they stare each other down. And when they meet in the walk-in the fight is so loud that the whole kitchen hears it. Somehow they’re able to keep on topic but they both know what it’s about. They’re yelling about the team but they’re really yelling about them. The tension between them has reached an unlivable level. 

They don’t solve anything that night and when their five minutes are up in the walk-in they go back to work. Apologize to their staff and keep going. 

They don’t talk about it for a few weeks. But then one night at Carmy’s Syd grabs his wrist when he retreats from his room, clothes to sleep in tucked under his other arm, from the dresser she insisted he buy while they were…while they were. “Can you…can you stay with me?” She asks and it’s so sweet and perfect and he wants to say no but can’t say no to her. So he nods and changes in the bathroom before going back to his bed-her bed and laying next to her. 

They don’t touch. And nothing changes there. But they get back on even footing. 

He’s out with Richie and Marcus and Sweeps and Fak and their newish boucher Roy. And it’s good. It’s nice even. 

Carmy doesn’t go out. He doesn’t do hang outs. He rarely drinks because he’s always alone and that’s a state of depression he never wanted to walk himself into. But now surrounded by his employees turned friends and family he feels settled. Comfortable. 

They get trashed. Absolutely hammered. And as they walk down the street, Marcus and Sweeps sing/rapping a song he vaguely recognizes from Sydney, Carmy thinks of Michael. Of both Michaels actually. Of his brother who cut him off before he could have these moments with him so he has them with Cousin instead. And of little Michael, and the idea runs though Carmy’s head, of years down the line of telling a very Michael-esque story to his nephew of this night and how Michael lives on like that. Thinks of picking the kid up early from school to get ice cream (will Sugar put him down as a trusted adult? He thinks she might). And two am phone calls when he’s at a high school party drunk and he won’t drive but “Uncle Carmy I’m in trouble” and he knows Sugar would kill them both. But Carmy here in Chicago its his how and Mikey’ll grow up with him and trust him and love him. And he’s his favorite uncle…his only uncle. And it’s getting away from him, his thoughts are.

And then they’re standing outside a well lit building. It’s stupid really it is but their hyping each other up and it’s just…really really stupid. 

Syd’s at her dad’s for once since Carmy was going to be out all night. 

Cousin’s on the couch and groans cursing when Carmy starts the coffee grinder in the morning. 

They sit at his little dining table and sip their coffee and nibble at their bagels. Until Richie looks at Carmy strangely. 

“What’s on your fucking neck?” “The fuck? How would I fucking know you-“There’s like plastic on your fucking neck, Cousin.” And Carmy drops his bagel as he remembers their last stop of the night. 

He’s in his bathroom quickly and pulling the plastic off his throat. 

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

In thick black letters stark against his skin is ‘Sydney’.

“RIP, Cousin,” Richie snickers from the bathroom doorway. Carmy flips him off and then sighs turning his head. It’s really fucking on there. 

Syd’s going to hold him down and cut it off or maybe he’ll get lucky and she’ll just book him a tattoo removal appointment. 

She doesn’t do either. It’s a Monday he thinks, good, it gives her a whole day to fume and get over it. She comes over after Richie leaves around noon. All bubbly and happy taking about this little butcher she found and they’re to small to use as a vendor but they have cool cuts and she’s thinking. 

It takes her a minute to notice Carmy still on the couch. “Yo Carm-the fuck is that?” She stops, leans against the arm of the couch, fingers digging into the fabric. 

“Look, we got really fucking drunk last night. And hit up some shitty tattoo place. And-and Marcus got this huge pink donut on his fucking thigh and-and I got this.” He gestures vaguely at his neck. 

And then he suddenly got a lap full of Sydney. Laughing and cooing at him. “You fucking loser! You got my fucking name on your neck! What the hell were you thinking Carm?” But she’s grinning and her hands are in his hair and she’s more amused then angry. And she’s so fucking beautiful, he can’t help but lean up and kiss her, she kisses him back and it good. It’s right. 

It’s perfect. 

They’re so caught up that it seems the most natural thing in the world for them to spend the rest of the afternoon on Carmy’s couch. Fucking in every position they can get each other into. 

They make dinner after a hour nap and sit at his little dining table. And they don’t talk about it. They don’t talk about it and they don’t repeat it. 

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Games pt 2

Back to Bildeo Bames! After finishing my big Kingdom Hearts binge, I told myself to cut back on gaming for a while until Tears of the Kingdom came out. That was a huge lie! I love deception and falsehoods :D

Psychonauts

The idea of going inside someone's head to discover an entire universe created from their thoughts and memories has always been a fascinating one for me. I spent a lot of time as a kid imagining what my own or my friends' brain-world would look like and how you might navigate it. So imagine my surprise when I found an entire 3D platformer based around that concept. And for $5 on sale, no less! This had been a cult classic for a long time, but the recent sequel I still need to play elevated it to a higher place in the social conscience.

You play as Raz, a young kid who crashed a training camp in order to become a Psychonaut, people who covertly enter other's minds to extract secrets for the government. At least that's the idea, Raz ends up using his training to help his mind-victims work through their insecurities and psychoses in order to improve their mental health, first focusing on people in his camp, and then on clients in the nearby insane asylum. This isn't just out of a heroic desire to help others, but the easiest way Raz has to save his new camp friends, whose brains have all been cartoonishly sucked out of their ears and placed into jars. This world is so goofy and fun and the premise allows for endless creativity with settings and like. You can write a whole essay on any one of these levels. Damn I need to play the sequel.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

I like Sonic quite a bit. The characters are so expressive and fun and the world is similarly wacky and cool. The lore is an odd mix of typical video-game nonsense and genuinely fascinating tragic backstories. I loved the Sonic X show and Sonic Underground but like. The games... Okay the games are fun, but there's always one thing that ends up giving me a huge headache. Usually the Chaos emeralds. Eventually I'll go back and play through the Origin games and meet the games on their terms, but in the meantime this is the perfect Sonic game for me.

It's just a three hour visual novel written in the style of a murder mystery! It's so cute! Sonic is dead! You spend most of the game as Barry the Quokka, who's name is actually Kitch, a dorky dude in charge of catering on the murder mystery train, thrust suddenly into Amy Rose's birthday party on a quest to figure out the culprit who fake murdered our best blue boy. The game is full of so many adorable designs, fun characterization, and goofy plot tangents that its clear Sega just gave a group of Sonic fans free reign to go crazy over an official project. If you get bored of the visual novel part, its interspersed with random isometric Sonic levels you can plow through pretty quickly. I had a pretty good time with all of it.

Sonic Adventure: DX

In fact I had such a good time with The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog that I jumped immediately into an actual Sonic game. This was Sonic's first real jump into 3D, and I was always led to believe that jump missed the platform and tumbled into badly rendered, inanimate water. This isn't true! The voice acting is pretty bad at times and the animation gets wonky in places, but like. I am a Kingdom Hearts fan. These are not negatives. It also splits a singular story into multiple perspectives, so you discover more context for what's happening the more characters you play as. That doesn't mean the story is amazing or anything, but the effort is commendable and I love when stories do this.

Each character sits in a different genre of game as well. Sonic himself translates his 2D gameplay pretty well into a 3D setting, which is what most people reference when talking about this game. Tails is more of a direct racing game where you can basically skip most of any level due to the fact he can fly. Knuckles is a treasure hunting game focused on exploration. Amy is a survival horror game where you beat the shit out of robotic pyramid head at the end, and Big the Cat is a fishing game that's pretty fun after you tear all of your hair out. The last story, Gamma, is a rail shooter about one of Eggman's robots developing a conscience after learning it is being powered by a small tormented bird, before going on a rampage against its robotic brethren and self-destructing, freeing them all from Eggman's control. It's surprisingly... pointiate? powniant? *checks watch* poignant dammit. I have an English degree. Anyways robot stories like this always get to me for some reason.

Pokemon Infinite Fusion

There are a few communities where the amount of effort that can go into amateur fan content astounds me. The Pokemon fanbase is one of those communities. Romhacks have been popular in this community for a long time, many of them matching or exceeding some of the professionally made mainline titles, in my opinion, at least. Pokemon Infinite Fusion approaches that line with just the shear volume of fan content present in this game.

Any Pokemon of any stage can be "fused" with another to create a new design. Their typing and stats depend on a fairly simple algorithm, but the designs themselves are created by hundreds of incredibly talented independent artists you can find credited in the Pokedex. You can even import your own design if you wish! Obviously, with the amount of possible combinations, not all of them are artist-created, most procedurally generated, but there are just so many that it boggles my mind. Here are a few of my favorites

[Image I.D. Fusion of Mawile and Electavire created by Sadfrog, it has jumper cables in place of its giant mouths]

[Image I.D. fusion of Cofagrigus and Weavile that resembles Midna from the Zelda series created by King Peggy]

[Image I.D. fusion of Charizard and Aerodactyl created by artist Beespoon]

The game itself is a decent remake of Firered and Leafgreen with a significant post game. I have a couple issues, such as the credits being kind of vague and buried, and the gameplay being glitchy in certain areas, but this game is still being updated, so I'm excited to see what else it will offer in the future.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Ocarina of Time is the quintessential Zelda game, Breath of the Wild reinvented the franchise, but this is my first and favorite Zelda game. When I think of Zelda I think of this Hyrule's landscape, this Link's journey. I can talk at length about the perfect structure of this game, the dungeon layouts, the visuals' mix of quirky and grimdark, the fun boss designs, but I can't deny its all washed in nostalgia.

The story is about two people with the rest of their life apparent ahead of them, both cursed and disfigured beyond their imagination and forced into a role they could have never predicted. People say Midna is the greatest "helper" in the franchise, but really she's the hero right alongside our main boy. This isn't Link's story, its both of theirs. And at the end, neither of them can truly return to what they used to be; the curse is dispelled, but the change remains. For Midna this means sacrificing her closest relationship for the good of her kingdom, and for Link this means leaving the town he knew as home. Maybe he's looking for a way to find Midna, maybe he's off on a new, dangerous adventure, maybe he wants to do motion-controlled sharpshooting on Nintendo's cool new console. Regardless of his goal, his adventure changed him in a way that he can no longer live comfortably in the life he grew up in. So he leaves.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD

When this game came out, the biggest complaint about it were the broken motion-controls. Personally, they always worked fine for me, but I'm glad the switch remake added a new control scheme to make the experience more accessible. Now more people can complain about the actual game rather than the controls! Honestly never really understood why this game was so polarizing, the only big problem I had with the original was Fi's constant interruptions (which were toned down in this version), but Navi did that shit way more frequently and no one marked that as an abject flaw. It's a damn good 3D Zelda with excellent dungeons and a really compelling conflict.

This version of Link and Zelda are one of the only overtly romantic iterations of these characters. A classic childhood friends to lovers dynamic. Zelda is on her quest to restore the power of the goddess and Link is set on supporting her, no matter how painful it might be for him. A cool detail I love in this game is after Zelda seals herself up in the Orange Sap of Eternal Agony or whatever, the lines on Link's face notably lengthen and darken.

[Image I.D. Link at the beginning of Skyward Sword. The lines under his eyes are visible, but indistinct]

[Image I.D. Link towards the end of Skyward Sword, the lines under his eyes are deeper and more apparent.]

It's as if the trauma of his journey has physically aged him. Idk maybe its just a lighting thing I'm reading too far into. I'm glad this Link and Zelda get a happy ending. My only complaint nowadays is learning Nintendo almost made a "hero mode" style extra game where you play through Zelda's adventure! And they took it out! Cowards! You get glimpses of what it would be like in the end credits, like they're taunting you.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Breath of the Wild might be my favorite game to just exist in. Every inch of Hyrule is so thoroughly laid out; the environments are gorgeous, the movement is fun, there's always something in the distance worth checking out, and the towns are so heavily detailed. You can spend hours even after completing the game 100% just driving around the landscape or studying the textures and wall decor in Kakariko to find some hidden piece of storytelling. In that regard, excited to say the Tears of the Kingdom is the perfect sequel.

I was concerned when it was revealed we were exploring the same Hyrule's map, just a few years later, but they changed things up so thoroughly, exploring the same area doesn't feel like retreading old ground, but seeing how the area evolved. It's familiar, rather than identical. Not only that, but there are now two entirely new maps situated above and below the old one, each with a new, invigorating aesthetic that are so fun and exciting to travel through. Go to the Sky for some awesome Agoraphobia, or travel to the Depths for some cooky Claustrophobia. You will never know how badly I spelled claustrophobia at first.

The story is nowhere near as elegantly written as BotW, and that's fine, it's a sequel, it only needs to add on to the original, and it brought it me Tears (HAH) for entirely different reasons that BotW. The dragon's tears sidequest had genuinely shocked me with the order I collected them, and the endgame boss sequence was just so incredibly peak. On the lore side of things, and how it connects to the larger mythos, this game makes me want to strangle someone, but this is Zelda, I would not have it any other way. Mechanically, I'm never one to push a game to its absolute limit, but this game has so many tools intended for the player to do exactly that, and I'm excited to see what other people come up with.

Recently, as of writing this, the Youtuber Any Austin put out a video analyzing the woodworking of TotK and BotW, and it might sound goofy, but it got me pumped to return to it in the near future, to just exist in Hyrule for a while longer.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team Pt 1

This is the first title I'm granting the "pt 1" moniker. Some games have a definitive ending, and then a post-game epilogue that is an entirely new story that I might finish next year. This is a childhood favorite of mine I'm revisiting. The mystery dungeon games have this insane hold over my psyche and always wrench an emotion out of me like no other Pokemon games can. While that didn't change time around, I realized I had a great deal of nostalgia blindness over its story. It's not bad at all, but it plays into a lot of generic adventure story tropes while I remembered it being more unique. In truth, this game was actually my introduction to a lot of those tropes and archetypes, and it pulls them off very well. It occasionally moves into some insane territory, like your cute Pokemon guys are hunted down by a lynch mob at one point.

This game also established a lot of Pokemon identities in my head, and are the reason Mons like Ninetales and Gardevoir are some of my favorites. Its such a comfortable game to go back to, but it will always be outshined by its successor, in my opinion.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Skies Pt. 1

No, I didn't misspell that. This is a fanmade improvement hack that adds some quality of life adjustments, like shortcuts for all of your moves, and a bunch of new story sidequests. Most of the story elements are relegated to the post game, so my playthrough was more or less identical to the original. That being said, this is one of my favorite games of all time. The reason I remembered Red Rescue team as having a more in-depth story is because of this game. Upon my umpteenth playthrough of this I can confirm that it is not (just) nostalgia blindness, this is still one of the best video game stories I have ever experienced. You can withdraw all of the elements that make it a Pokemon game and you are still left with a really well written, emotionally driven science fiction story. Wigglytuff and Chatot aren't even Pokemon to me. They're just the chaotic gay couple from this game.

The gameplay is mostly unchanged from the first, with the addition of the lovable 4th generation freaks. The change of focus from rescuing Pokemon to exploring new areas and finding treasure always hooked me and spurred on my imagination as a kid, it captures the sense of wonder really well.

Link to hack: https://hacks.skytemple.org/h/skies

Pikmin

This is probably my most replayed game ever. It's a pretty short game, if you know what you're doing. There was a point where I had the map so consistently memorized I could do a playthrough in my head, lmao. Take that Miyamoto. I pirated your game through MY MIND. YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A MEMORY.

There's still something magical about the atmosphere in this game that I don't think any of the sequels quite matched. Something about music; the mystery; the sound design; the isolation. It's just one man forced to make friends with these adorable alien freaks to ensure both of their survival. Later entries would focus on the intrigue of exploring what seems to be the ruins of human society from an ants perspective, which has its own appeal, but this game feels most genuinely alien and hostile in the way nature can be, in a beautiful way. I also played this with gamecube controls for the first time in my life man fuck the gamecube controls.

Pikmin 2 pt 1

This game has come under fire in recent years, which I think is goofy as all hell. I heard people call it "the black sheep" of the Pikmin series back when there were only three sheep! And a pygmy goat on the 3DS, I guess. I understand a lot of the criticisms, but this was a dream come true when I first picked it up as a kid. Now you have an endless amount of time to explore the Pikmin Planet to your leisure! You have another dude (he sucks so much I love him)! More little freaks to follow you around! Even more big freaks who want to kill you! I love freaks. I don't know how much time I spent studying through the Piklopedia to understand the wider ecology of this viddy game. It solidified the character of Olimar in my head even moreso than the original.

People hate the caves, (or hated?) but I think that's just because it wasn't like Pikmin 1. There's something to be said about the generic aesthetics dulling down the personality of these dungeons, but it always felt like a suitable expansion of this world. They're bugs! Tons of bugs live underground! Of course that's where they're all hiding. Because of the endless time limit, they did ramp up the difficulty on some of these caves to the bullshit level, which made me want to move on once I paid off the debt. Sorry Louie! I know you like it down there anyways. With the other freaks.

Pikmin 3

I never owned a Wii U, so this game coming out at the peak of my Pikmin hyper fixation was agonizing. I staved off the insanity of not being able to play it by scrolling the fanwiki articles for every new creature it introduced and rewatching the trailer demo over and over again? Huh, I really did that. Finally being able to play it on the switch is fantastic, and I don't have to deal with that stupid gamepad. Sorry, really cool bulky controller with a tiny screen you can't see shit on.

This game is so beautiful. It almost retains the majesty of discovery that the original had. I understand why people often refer to it as the true sequel. It works to strike a balance between the tight survival gameplay of 1 and the explorative aspect of 2 by having your day count tied to the amount of resources you can gather within a day, which also allows the plot to manufacture genuine anxiety when a certain asshole steals all your shit. All that time you spent gathering a buffer against certain starvation for your dudes was worthless unless you can get it back. You can actually lose the game at this point if you aren't on top of things.

I like all the new dudes. They all fit within the pre-established universe very well and contrast nicely against the original trilogy of dudes by being nice and actually liking each other. You just feel bad that Olimar hasn't been living it up with these cool cats all this time, and is instead tormented by his asshole coworkers every waking moment of his life on PNF 404. All three of the coolcats also get original Piklopedia entries from different professional perspectives. All together we get an amateur biologist (Olimar), a cook (Louie), an engineer (Alph), a botanist (Brittany), and a tactician (Charlie). Most of Charlie's are just "can I take this bug in 1v1" and I love him for that.

Cutting this off here for now. Remember how I said I love deceptions? That also went for writing this in a timely fashion. Oh well, one person's Monday night is another's Friday morning. That's how timezones work, I think. Going back to movies next Monday. I don't watch a lot of movies overall, but I have a lot to go through.

[doingproblematicmedia]

Velma Wrapup: On Adult Comedy

Hey fam. I know this is mad late, but let’s be honest, trying to write a wrapup on Velma was about as painful as watching it. Enjoy!

---

So speaking of HBO, I just watched Marc Maron’s From Bleak to Dark, which is one of the funniest standup routines I’ve seen in a long time.

It was also deeply dark and pretty disturbing in places.

I mean, he didn’t hold back. COVID? Auschwitz? Terminal illness? Abortion? Disinformation? Antisemitism? Suicide?

All there.

And it was funny as fuck.

-

I’m gonna keep coming back to Kurt Vonnegut here, because I think he got to the root of comedy: that all humor is based on fear. “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.”

From Bleak to Dark worked because of this fear. We’re exhausted. The state of the world doesn’t seem to be getting any better, and it’s just hard to navigate being human right now. How on earth can you make this material funny?

And the answer is: by reaching deep into the dark places of the soul, plucking the strings of our agonies and worst fears, and dragging them into the light. Saying: Hey, I’m human, you’re human, and here we are trapped in the mess of our humanity. I see you. Hi.

And we laugh.

Because what else are we gonna do about it?

As both Maron and Vonnegut remarked, the jokes in Auschwitz must’ve been amazing.

-

I stumbled on this essay by Matthew Morgan on the state of modern irony, and it stuck a chord:

One feature of the free mind is an ability to entertain contradictory ideas simultaneously; at its most refined, this is an appreciation of the ironic, which Schlegel showed is borne of contradiction. Albert Camus talked about the Absurd as the search for value in a valueless universe. Humans are both the only known creatures who comprehend the meaninglessness of the cosmos and the animals most insistent on discovering meaning, demonstrating that irony is at the heart of the human condition. To embrace irony is, therefore, to embrace life.

Irony, the essay points out, strikes at the contradictions of our messy lives. Vonnegut was a master of irony, using it in such a subtle way that it sailed over many peoples’ heads. In an interview with Playboy in 1973, he famously stated: 

You understand, of course, that everything I say is horseshit...But it’s a useful, comforting sort of horseshit, you see? That’s what I object to about preachers. They don’t say anything to make anybody any happier, when there are all these neat lies you can tell. And everything is a lie, because our brains are two-bit computers, and we can’t get very high-grade truths out of them. But as far as improving the human condition goes, our minds are certainly up to that. That’s what they were designed to do.

Vonnegut’s comforting lies contradict the inherent meaninglessness of life; they give us something to hold onto. Something to reach out with, to show us that we understand each other. That we all want and fear. That we can form community with this shared understanding. An understanding based in irony. In the contradictions of life.

What does all this have to do with Velma? Bear with me. I’m getting there.

- 

Morgan’s essay also gets at what I think is an issue with a lot of current comedy:

...social commentary has been lost amid the exponential growth of shock-value comedy, the inanity of which is exposed by its label: rather than using shock to change values, the vacuous comedy of something like Family Guy values only the shock. This kind of humour merely consolidates one’s place within the in-group of cynical cool kids by sniggering at increasingly “offensive” jokes, a sort of lack-of-virtue signalling.

...The reason that shows like Family Guy are so empty is that they want to mock everything (because that’s detached and cool) while refusing to show us anything (because that would be old-fashioned and ridiculous).

And here’s where we get to Velma.

-

High school is a weird time. Lots of teenage media would have us believe that high school is when we come into our own: amongst the parties and rebellion and teenage love and heartbreak, we are tested, and emerge from this crucible as a fully-formed person. Nothing could be further from the truth. High school is messy, ugly, and painful. It doesn’t look like what it does on the screen. The idea that ‘high school is the best years of your life’ is oft repeated, which in hindsight is horseshit. But maybe we believed that deep down, back when we were in high school, and were terrified that we were doing it wrong. 

And so many of us emerge from this with scars. 

There is a lot of adult media about high school kids! Because on some level, we’re all still trying to process this time of our lives. Putting it into art, stylizing it or flaying it open, helps us to do so. And for teens watching this media, hopefully we’re saying: it’s ok. This is messy ugly and painful, but you’re not alone.

I think Velma is trying to do this. Velma goes to some serious lengths to dig into this messy high school experience. It also pokes at how the media treats the high school experience, which is awesome in theory.

The problem is, it falls into a very high school sort of trap. The kind of trap that we were supposed to mature past. The kind of trap that a lot of shock comedy hasn’t matured past.

As Morgan says, it’s that Velma wants to mock high school media - because it’s detached and cool. I remember this being a thing in high school. In order to be cool, you had to be detached. You could never show real emotion or real hurt. Everything had to roll off like water on a duck’s back.

Because showing real vulnerability wasn’t cool. Cool was not caring. Cool was being able to hurt others, without showing any hurt yourself. Velma wants to skewer the idealized version of high school we see in media - but instead, it just becomes another high school bully.

And all the criticism that has been levelled at Velma? It’s rolled off. Like water on a duck’s back. HBO has renewed it for a second season. 

It’s like watching your high school bully get elected class president.

-

I’m not gonna dissect the content of Velma, because enough people have done that already. The piles of shitty jokes, the weird meta commentary, the moments that don’t work, the moments that hurt - it’s all been compiled, and I don’t want to beat a dead horse (I’m the horse in this metaphor. Because dealing with Velma is painful). 

But I do want to say, it’s an exquisite study on how comedy fails. Fails to reach out, fails to plunge deep into its audience and pull on its worst fears. Fails to make us seen, fails to find a shared humanity.

Doug Walker, who of all people is qualified to comment on bad comedy, probably said it best: 

[Velma has] this wall of protective bullshit that's stopping it from being really funny or really clever.

And that’s that. There’s a wall. Velma is not reaching an audience, because it physically cannot. 

Is it the writers’ own fears that built this wall? Fears of being mocked? Wanting to be detached and cool? 

Because to make real connections, we run the risk of being hurt. Being hurt is a part of life. And the best comedy overcomes this. Says ‘Hi. I know you’re hurting. So am I. Can we make this less painful together?’ 

If Velma is to be believed, we cannot. All we can do is carry on hurting each other, with no connection or relief in sight. 

But as good comics have shown, we can ease the pain with shared laughter.

[diyasingla492]

The Power of Play: How Fun and Games Boost Brain Power

Introduction: Hey there, fellow brainiacs! Did you know that playing isn’t just for fun? It’s like a secret superpower for making our brains smarter and stronger. In this article, we’re going to explore the amazing world of play and how it can make us super smart!

Exercise for the Brain: Imagine your brain is like a muscle, and play is its exercise. When we play, our brains get a workout, just like when we run around or do jumping jacks for our bodies. It’s like a gym session, but way more fun!

Problem-Solving Play: Have you ever played with puzzles or tricky games? These are like brain teasers that make our minds think and solve problems. When we figure out how to win a game or complete a puzzle, our brains are doing a happy dance because they’ve just gotten a mega boost!

Memory Games: Playing memory games is like giving our brains a memory upgrade. Whether it’s remembering where you put your toys or matching cards with pictures, your brain is getting better at remembering things. It’s like a superpower for school and everyday life!

Creativity Unleashed: Ever built a tower with blocks or created a story with your toys? That’s your creativity at work! Playtime lets our imaginations soar. When we let our creativity run wild, our brains create new connections and ideas. Who knows, the next big inventor or artist could be you!

Social Skills Supercharge: Playing with friends is like a masterclass in social skills. We learn to share, take turns, and work together to achieve a common goal. These skills are not just for play; they help us in school, at home, and in the big, wide world outside.

Emotional Intelligence Boost: Playing helps us understand our feelings and those of others. Whether it’s pretending to be a superhero or talking about how we feel when we lose a game, playtime is like emotional training. It makes us better at understanding and handling our emotions.

Learning is Fun: Who says learning can’t be fun? Many games are like undercover teachers. They sneak in lessons about math, language, and science, making learning feel like play. Before you know it, you’re a learning ninja!

Conclusion: So, my awesome friends, playing is not just fun; it’s like a superhero training camp for our brains. From solving problems to remembering things, being creative, and making friends, playing games is like a big adventure for our brains. Next time someone says to stop playing and start studying, just tell them you’re becoming a genius and having a blast at the same time!

If you want to see this in action, check out PNC Cognitio School. They believe in the power of play to help students grow smart and happy. At PNCCS, learning is a fun journey where games and creativity go hand in hand with becoming super smart. So, let the games begin!

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNIGN BESTIE I HOPE YOURE HAVING A NICE EVENINGGG i saw ur post abt the xlmi big fic progress and how it just?? i was 😭😭????? NAUR WAY THATS HORRIBLEEE i hope you'll manage to fix it since theres so many Words so many stuff there to rewrite aaAAGHHHH you r gods strongest soldier to endure dat fr....

ive been doing okay since the past week but boy do i have to tell u my brainrotting is like a permanent disease it is hell to keep everything in check with my irl work so thats that LMAOO AND I JUST KNEW IF THAT FIC IS FINISHED ONE DAY ITLL ADD INTO THE PILE IN MY BRAIN BUT I WILL ENJOY IT I SHWEAR TO U i just know u'll nail it so good idk whats the actual point im giving here IM JUST YEAH. YEAGHHHHHHAHHH 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

btw ur respons 2 my recent ask,... i sent that out of catharsis cus i miss theym sm and now i read back and i was ugughuhuhu. anyway. yknow when i overanalyze things right.... i still think abt ur past response on the case of xiao's vulnerability and u saying along the lines how i portrayed it being realistic as i can bc i know the stakes of it the people who are involved the way both he and those who witness it and care for him respond that i keep every aspect of it in character. i had to go back to that ask to write this KFHWHFHHD BUT YKNOW i just wanna point out cus im feeling eck of Stuff and remembering that makes me feel better cus i been doubting saur hard abt it coming fron self indulgence so it can get Out Of Hand SO I HOPE U KNOW THAT OK. U ARE SO AWESOME SO REAL FOR IT AND I LOVE YUOU SM UEUEUUEUEUEUEUE I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT NIGHT AND COMFY SLEEP SOON holds ur hands warmly spinning us together and we helicopter our way into the stars <333333333

GOOD MORNING BESTIE !!!!!!!!!!! I AM HAVING A GOOD EVENING THANK U :DDD <33333

i think ive fixed the Vast Majority of what needed to be fixed, im gonna be so fr i. realized what was wrong, Took A Fucking Nap, and then when i woke up i cracked my knuckles and got to work fixing/editing and there May be small parts/details i missed BUT if there are ill catch them when i Really Truly edit the fic (i.e. when its almost done and i read the entire thing out loud to myself to catch as many errors as possible)

i love u so so so bad, sometimes things are wildly self indulgent and very realistic and true to canon sometimes true geniuses (read: You) are able to seamlessly mix the two and its so rare in fandom in general but you manage it every time i will never understand how yet i will always be SO grateful for it and for all that you share

UR JUST AS AWESOME AND ILY JUST AS MUCH !!!!!!!! THANK U SM PLEADING FACE EMOJI I HOPE U HAVE AN AMAZING DAY TODAY !!!!!!!! holding UR hands as we helicopter into the stars can we pretend like airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars <- thats us but instead of crying/wishing we ARE the shooting stars we are the dream come true <- i literally have no fucking idea what im saying i just used the last of my brainpower to finish up this one scene and now im back to being fried </3

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal #23 - Opportunity Blindness

Have you ever been met with a situation in which you feel frustrated you missed out on something that was right under your nose? How about being frustrated when you’re trying to chase one thing and completely but unintentionally ignore something that could have helped you as well? I know I’ve had my fair share of missed opportunities. It sucks when you see that in hindsight you missed out on something life changing or fun.

This is what I’ve come to know is referred to as “opportunity blindness.” It’s when you don’t perceive an opportunity that could change your life, business, mood, etc. because you were too focused on something else. It could be printed on a piece of paper that blows into your face and you’d miss it because you’re too focused on getting to the train - and work - on time.

Don’t get me wrong here, this isn’t a matter of you’re not trying hard enough or that you need to pay attention to every single little detail of the world around you. However, if you’re annoyed at the fact that you keep missing out on cool things in life, it would benefit you to learn how to combat opportunity blindness.

The power of the human mind to focus is impressive. Some people have achieved amazing things just by hyper-focusing on them long-term. Some people have managed to pull off impressive feats of endurance by sheer willpower. Some people master the art of focus to the point they can control their thoughts and emotions before they override the autonomic nervous system (that’s the stuff of superhuman abilities, if you ask me. I’d want that power).

Human brains process a LOT of information daily. Seriously, so much goes through our brains every hour. Due to this, there’s an information filter to keep every individual person functioning and moving towards a set goal. Our brains will automatically use our focusing powers to dedicate all our attention to things we deem important. Whether that be muting a loud office environment or somehow not perceiving a situation going down right next to you, our brains will filter out info that only provides us distraction and clutter.

One of my favorite analogies to portray this very idea is the red car blue car exercise: I went on a 5 minute drive with a friend and asked them to count all the red cars that passed and tell me how many they saw when we arrived at our destination. Upon arriving, I asked how many red cars they counted. After they told me, I asked how many blue cars they saw as well. Their answer? “I don’t know, there were probably a few, I wasn’t paying attention to those.” Their brains will be attempting to recall information regarding blue cars, but can’t because such information was discarded due to its relative unimportance.

Take this scenario and apply it to opportunities. If you were to tell yourself you wanted to buy a new computer, you’d be more aware of listings, ads, and conversations regarding computers. You would ignore the information regarding a massive sale on phones, or the promotional offer for your favorite take-out place which would give you a free meal. Then, you’d hear about the latter two opportunities and get a little disappointed you weren’t aware when they were available.

The opportunities you will notice will vary based on your specific goals, mindset, and interests. What one may deem unimportant, the next may find themselves lucky to stumble upon. Sometimes, things we were unaware of in the past become clear and obvious to us upon changing our mindsets and goals.

Sometimes, it’s not that you miss the opportunities but rather refuse to take them since you don’t feel it’s the right time for it. You may look back on an opportunity you refused and feel a sense of regret. It was solely due to your mindset that you passed up on it. You were right, the opportunity didn’t arrive at the right time. It was because you weren’t in the right state, not that it wasn’t an overall good fit for you.

Remember that just because focusing causes you to miss out doesn’t mean it’s bad to have a narrow focus. Realistically, you should be focusing on finding the opportunities that suit your specific needs or goals. It really isn’t important that you acknowledge every single thing that comes your way (As mentioned before, it’s not only unrealistic but also inhuman to do so).

Set your intentions, write down what steps you need to take towards your goals, and keep an eye and ear out for anything that may provide you with momentum or newly opened doors.

Lastly, but most importantly, remember to be aware of and manage your mindset. You could miss out on something big that suits your goals and gives you a major step forward all because you just weren’t in the mood or didn’t feel it was the right time.

[fogedsellers38]

Stress Ruining Your Day? Try These Tips

Stress is produced when hormones are released into the brain. It is common to experience stress when faced with situations in life that are difficult. The following article contains information that allows for an understanding of what stress is, and how it can be minimized. A journal can help reduce stress. All it takes is a pen and paper and a few minutes to write down whatever is bothering you. Often just getting it out on paper puts things in a better perspective. Writing about our problems releases emotions that may otherwise be pent up, thus increasing our stress levels. Furthermore, seeing our problems on paper can sometimes allow us to see possible solutions to our problems. Try seeking out humor to relieve your stress. Whether it's reading jokes on the internet, watching a funny movie, or going to see a comedian, getting a dose of humor in your life can really help reduce the amount of stress. It's been shown that if you laugh often, you won't be as stressed out. Take time for a mini self-massage. Taking the palm of your hand and simply massage it with the thumb of the other hand in a circular motion can help to relieve your stress. You could also use a massage tool to do this. Massage works wonders at getting rid of stress. A great way to reduce stress is not to sweat the small stuff. You have probably heard that before many times, because it is true. Cbd Vape Extracts with high stress levels tend to get upset about trivial things more often than people with low stress levels. Sometimes it is best to step away from a situation and think about whether it is worth getting upset over. A great tip that can help you beat stress is to head outside and go for a hike. Going for a hike can be amazing at keeping stress down because it allows you to enjoy the soothing sights, sounds and smells of nature. You'll also be getting some exercise which will help a lot as well. Stop saying the word "stress" so much; it does not help you! If you keep repeating the thought that you are extremely hungry, it won't be long before you actually are. Feeling stressed is just the same. The more you tell yourself you are stressed out, the more stressed out you will feel. Words have power, so remove its power by reducing your use of it. A great tip that can help you beat stress is to plan a picnic with someone you care about. Going on a picnic is great because it allows you to be in nature, eat great food and spend some quality time with a special person. There is no better way to fight stress. Try to get as much sleep as you possibly can during the course of the day, regardless of how much you have to work. Lack of sleep will result in increased stress levels, which can limit your productivity and hurt the way that you feel. Aim for 8 hours of sleep a night to feel your best. When it comes to dealing with stress, you should consider getting a pet. This is important because not only have pets been known to decrease your stress level but also the time that you spend caring and nurturing your pet will help to take your mind off of whatever it is that is causing your stress. In order to deal with stress, it is important to make sure that you organize all of your goals on paper. This is important because you then can see where you are at and what you hope to attain, thus giving yourself a sense of power over your own purpose in life. A great tip that can help you fight stress is to try acupuncture. Acupuncture works by targeting specific parts of the body that hold stress. If you can get over the idea of being poked with needles, you might find that acupuncture really works by keeping your stress down. Many techniques have been used successfully to relieve stress. By implementing even one one or two of these ideas, you will find that it can make a big difference.

[homosexuality-at-its-finest]

You guessed, it's me again

How would the lords react to a very knowledgeable S/O who loves to learn whatever they can put their hands on no matter if it is a language or to wielding or dancing, THEY'RE READY. Oh and also they're really honest and have a booming laughter (Headcanons of course)

A/n: Welcome back my child, we're all back on our bullshit tbh. Thank you for the request, I fuggin love writing anything Resident evil

@rabid-d0g

Plot: Requested

Warnings: Chaotic Y/n, cussing, violence, that’s about it tbh

LADY DIMITRESCU

· She loves how knowledgeable you are, even if she can get envious that your knowledge surpasses her own

· She will buy you any book you could ever imagine, feeding into your curiosity and need to learn

· Alcina is often amazed by how quickly you learn languages, she watched you learn French in 3 days because there was a book you wanted to read

· When it comes to wielding weapons, Mother Miranda save her she’s terrified

· You’re so small and fragile and she doesn’t want you to end up hurting yourself

· That fear was ended in a rather ridiculous predicament of a Morticia attacking you, which caused you to scream while repeatedly whacking it with a sword

· You had tried to play it off smoothly, grinning up at your lover, but she’d seen everything and was cackling

· She’s the one that teaches you to dance, pleased by how quickly you picked up on it.

· You two now dance together almost nightly, the girls think it’s disgustingly sweet

· The first time she encountered your naive honesty was when you had anciently broken one of her favorite vases.

· She was used to the girls and maids alike lying to stay clear of her fury, but you looked up at her with red puffy eyes and a trembling bottom lip and admitted to breaking it

· She’s tried and failed in getting you to lie, you’re just so honest, and at times it can be infuriating when it’s a situation when the truth is best kept a secret

· Alcina adores your laugh

· She could be in the foulest mood, but as soon as she hears the booming, boisterous laughter the mood seemingly disappears.

· She will do anything to see you smile and hear your laughter, it makes her feel alive and full of love.

· Alcina overall loves you unconditionally, flaws and all.

SALVATORE MOREAU

· Salvatore loves how intelligent you are, the two of you constantly bouncing ideas off each other

· He may not be the same man he was before the Cadou, but he’s still a doctor and therefor is super smart

· He has a plethora of books for you to read, and if your eyes or head hurt from reading, he’ll read to you

· The fact that you can learn languages so fast baffles him, he’s asked you about it before, but only got a sly smirk and ‘a magician never reveals their secret’ in return

· He never doubted your ability to wield a weapon, the way you two had met was him finding you on his land violently bashing in a Lycan’s skull

· Though the idea of you having a gun did make him a bit wary, you wielded it like you were born with a gun in your hand, so he had no reason for concern

· So, the thing about dancing is Salvatore has two left feet, mans is awful at dancing

· You’ve seen him eat shit while he was walking on flat ground, let alone dancing

· When you taught yourself how to dance it was a solo thing, but he adores getting to watch

· He’s fascinated by your beauty, the way your body moves. Everything about you is entrancing to our favorite fish man

· When it comes to your honesty, it’s never bothered him

· He’s also naively honest, so if anyone wants to know info they immediately go to the reservoir

· Karl has asked jokingly what Salvatore’s nether regions looked like and you told him point blank much to his horror (he no longer asks joking questions)

· Salvatore at first was startled by your laughter

· It was so loud and sudden that it had taken him off guard

· Now it’s his favorite sound, your laugh is infectious and makes him laugh

· His favorite kind of laugh is when its booming laughter mixed with snorts, because those are reserved for his jokes alone, it makes his chest feel warm and full

· He’s a shyer lover to have, but once you’ve gotten through his shell you two are a match made in heaven

DONNA BENEVIENTO

· So, Donna knew you were smart from the start, so your intelligence has never caught her off guard.

· She’s the one that will never doubt your abilities and is almost never caught by surprise by the things you can do.

· You’ve recited an entire book from memory to her before and she didn’t even bat an eyelash, she knows her partner is smart

· When it comes to languages, she’s more curious than anything, asking how you can remember so many or how you can learn them so fast

· You explain to her that they just come easily to you and they just make sense, she takes it

· Her favorite language you’ve learned is ASL, you two use it when she doesn’t have energy to talk or use Angie to talk

· She will buy you as many books as you want, and will listen to you read them (Even if they make no sense to her) while she sews or works on her dolls

· She loves your voice and could listen to it for hours, it’s soothing for her to listen to you, especially if she’s having a bad day

· Donna supports you wanting to learn how to wield a bo staff

· She loves watching you train, even if it means getting up early to see you work out before you begin your training

· You protect the house itself now, no one has gotten into the house and survived after you taught yourself how to fight

· Donna loves dancing, but is shy when it comes to dancing when it’s in front of others, gently encourage her and she’ll teach you

· She’s a wonderful teacher, and you two could dance for hours, moving perfectly in sync. It’s hypnotizing to watch honestly.

· She likes that you’re honest, it’s nice to have someone in her life who doesn’t lie or who isn’t cryptic

· It’s like a breath of fresh air for her

· Your laughter? My god she blushes every time she hears it

· She loves your laughter, and can’t help but laugh along any time she hears it

· You’re the only person alive who’s heard her laugh, or can make her laugh

· Usually, she’s wary of loud sounds but you bring her out of her shell

· Donna is the most supportive lord, she’s never once doubted you

KARL HEISENBERG

· You two are a chaotic fucking duo who will bring the end

· Both of you are intelligent, bordering genius

· Karl lets you read all his books, which means you know just as much about metal, war and more

· He recruits you in his fight against Miranda

· You two speak in different languages all the time, mostly so other people can’t understand the confidential conversations you’re having, you can never be too safe.

· With your combined intelligence things at the factory go a lot smoother, and things aren’t as horrendous as they are in the games

· You guys still do some fucked up stuff, but all is fair in war, I guess?

· Karl is 1000% behind you in learning how defend yourself

· He even teaches you how to, and is offended and pouting when in your second session you knock him on his ass

· Even the Lycans are scared of you after seeing you beat one to death with your bare hands for destroying your blueprints.

· None of the other lords fuck with you, you and Karl give off a terrifying energy when you’re together

· You two don’t have much down time, but when you mentioned wanting to learn how to dance, Karl had taught you.

· He’d been quite the dancer in his day, and found that it was nice to have a dancing partner again

· It’s a rare thing, but when you two dance it’s very intimate, full of love and unspoken promises

· I think Karl would like your laughter the most

· Because you two live in a very scary and bland world where a war is building, so happiness is far and in between

· So when he hears your laughter it’s like a gift from the universe

· Any time he hears your laughter he tries his best to engrave it in his brain, eyes full of love and chest full of warmth

· I think overall you and Karl have the hardest relationship to maintain, but by pure love and respect for each other, it all works out